Pod Insights Joe and James Fact Up Can A Swan Break Your Arm? About this episode James Buckley discusses his drastic new hair cut, Joe Thomas ponders whether a Swan could be taken to court and the boys take on Tom Hardy and Christian Bale for their latest audition for 'Script Up'
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Transcript 12,792 words · 8 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone, and including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
0:30 Speaker 01 Hello, I'm Luke Jones.
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1:44 Speaker 00 At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone, and including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
2:15 Speaker 05 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher. And I'm Marco Bortella. And this is Boots.
2:20 Speaker 06 Off.
2:22 Speaker 05 We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
2:30 Speaker 06 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
2:36 Speaker 05 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
2:39 Speaker 06 The adventures that lead to adversity.
2:41 Speaker 05 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
2:45 Speaker 06 Listen every Thursday, just search for Boots Off.
2:51 Speaker 07 Can we talk about your hair, James? Just I feel like people might notice. I've had a little haircut there. I've had it all cut off, it's gone. It's gone the hair, I've got like a sort of weird mullet thing.
3:06 Speaker 07 Yeah, it's just for work, it wasn't my choice. That's cool. Thanks. I was, I wasn't, I'm not happy about it, I'll be honest with you.
3:12 Speaker 05 Are you, can, what are you filming, can you, can you talk about it?
3:14 Speaker 07 Uh, thing for Netflix.
3:15 Speaker 05 Okay.
3:16 Speaker 07 Michelle Keegan.
3:18 Speaker 05 Okay.
3:18 Speaker 07 The Keeganster.
3:20 Speaker 05 Kevin Keegan?
3:22 Speaker 07 Don't think there's a relation.
3:23 Speaker 05 No, no, it's just.
3:24 Speaker 07 She's well alright though.
3:25 Speaker 05 Yeah?
3:25 Speaker 07 Oh, Keegan.
3:26 Speaker 05 That's good.
3:26 Speaker 07 Never met her before.
3:27 Speaker 05 Yeah.
3:28 Speaker 07 And obviously, like, she's a big star, isn't she, big British, doesn't really get much better, bigger in Britain, especially than Michelle Keegan. And I was thinking, it would go, I was like, hmm, all my scenes are basically with her as well. And I was like, ah, it's only going to go one of two ways. Either she'll be well alright.
3:47 Speaker 05 Yeah.
3:47 Speaker 07 Or she'll be a fucking lunatic.
3:48 Speaker 05 Right.
3:49 Speaker 07 But uh, turns out she's great, yeah. Fucking common as muck. One of us.
3:56 Speaker 05 Yeah, that's worse, yeah.
3:57 Speaker 07 Yeah, good girl, no, she's brilliant, really nice. Um, but yeah, doing a drama. Everything I do is just quite funny, isn't it?
4:06 Speaker 05 Yeah, I do, I think that's great, I think that being.
4:08 Speaker 07 But it's about like a murder mystery and stuff and, and the, and police and detectives and something that went on in the nineties and uh, that now the.
4:19 Speaker 05 What do they call it, the, they're coming home to roost the chickens or whatever. All the chickens are coming home to roost, yeah.
4:25 Speaker 07 And it's a bit, and there's twists and deceit and backstabbing and then me.
4:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:36 Speaker 07 Um.
4:38 Speaker 04 So it's.
4:38 Speaker 07 My big face pops in to a scene.
4:43 Speaker 04 Um.
4:44 Speaker 07 They'll be like, they're all dead. And we're like, well, don't worry about it.
4:49 Speaker 07 Cup of tea?
4:53 Speaker 04 Oh, that's honestly, that sounds really good. I love, I mean, I love that genre. That's really cool. So it's like cr- crime?
4:59 Speaker 07 Yeah.
4:59 Speaker 04 It's based on a Hall and Coogan book.
5:01 Speaker 07 That's correct, yeah.
5:02 Speaker 04 Okay, yeah.
5:03 Speaker 07 Yeah, they've made a.
5:05 Speaker 04 Is it set in the nineties or it's about stuff happened in the nineties?
5:07 Speaker 07 Something happened in the nineties and now it's sort of unraveling present day.
5:11 Speaker 04 Okay.
5:12 Speaker 07 Um.
5:14 Speaker 07 They did a Polish version on Netflix five years ago called The Woods. That's what this one's called as well.
5:21 Speaker 04 Okay.
5:22 Speaker 07 I started watching that. It turns out it's just completely different to what.
5:27 Speaker 04 Okay.
5:27 Speaker 07 What we're doing.
5:28 Speaker 04 Okay.
5:29 Speaker 07 Because you can, you can adapt stuff, can't you? And tweak things and change things for a different audience.
5:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:34 Speaker 07 But, um, really interesting. Great people working on it. Everyone's dead all right. Everyone's nice. Enjoy myself. Apart from the haircut. Felt like I'd lost a bit of myself.
5:47 Speaker 04 So what, so with this haircut, what are they, what are they saying?
5:51 Speaker 07 I'm a, um, sort of a, you know, weed smoking.
5:56 Speaker 04 Oh, okay.
5:57 Speaker 07 Teacher's assistant at a university.
5:59 Speaker 04 Oh, okay.
6:01 Speaker 07 And I'm a bit sort of like, whoa, chill out, man.
6:04 Speaker 04 You think you're a bit cool?
6:05 Speaker 07 Yeah, yeah.
6:06 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
6:07 Speaker 07 So they gave me a c- a cool guy's haircut.
6:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay, yeah. It is, it's very sort of, um, uh, a la mode.
6:16 Speaker 07 Yes, that's exactly what I said, Joe, when they cut my hair. So this is quite a la mode, isn't it?
6:22 Speaker 04 A la mode. This is a bit a la mode.
6:25 Speaker 07 Yeah.
6:26 Speaker 04 Um, it's, um, it's good because I mean, I, I, my hair is like, I just don't know what it is at the moment.
6:33 Speaker 07 Well, you're quite lucky with your hair, Joe. You've got a good head of hair there. It falls nicely, even when you haven't had a cut for a little while.
6:40 Speaker 04 This, I don't like all this, these get a bit wispy.
6:43 Speaker 07 No.
6:44 Speaker 04 And it all goes in the same, like, they don't, they don't both go in towards my head or both go out. They like both go left.
6:50 Speaker 07 Yeah.
6:51 Speaker 04 Like a tree on the coast.
6:55 Speaker 04 That's burning. And I'm like, what is, what is that? It's, I've always had messy hair.
7:01 Speaker 07 Yeah.
7:02 Speaker 04 My daughter looks like, like what I used to look like when I was a kid now. She emerged at the top of the stairs today.
7:08 Speaker 07 They sort of, you know, rough and ready, grubby knees.
7:11 Speaker 04 Exactly, exactly. I think my mum's main priority when I was small was making me look cute.
7:18 Speaker 07 Right.
7:18 Speaker 04 And that wasn't my, I think it's really funny what children want to wear versus what their parents want to put them in. I think children have really like commercial taste. Children just want like, whatever's got the most logo. They've all the worst lessons, basically. They want whatever every child, they're total sheep. They wanna wear what every other child is wearing. Most logos, most like American style clothes, just, whereas parents are like, but this is lovely. This is made of wool and no other child will have it.
7:44 Speaker 07 Yeah.
7:45 Speaker 04 The child be like, yeah, that's why it's fucking shit and they don't wanna wear that because they'll bully me. Like that way. And I remember one time my mum putting me in a little outfit to go to a children's party and it had like, it was a little short suit.
7:55 Speaker 07 Yeah.
7:55 Speaker 04 I remember there was this older girl who just really took to me, like not in a kind of fancying way, more in a kind of like, she just thought I was, she just couldn't get, she just wanted to like pick me up and she was like, oh, I've got it. And um, I couldn't bear it. I was like, thanks for this mum. I'm basically a teddy bear now.
8:12 Speaker 07 I was about five, my, um, my parents' outfit choices for me in the early nineties were insane.
8:21 Speaker 04 What sort of?
8:21 Speaker 07 Absolutely insane. I remember I went to a wedding once in a lime green button shirt. Bright red bow tie.
8:33 Speaker 04 That is, it was maybe alright.
8:35 Speaker 07 Rainbow specksavers glasses. Looked like fucking Elton John or something. It was very.
8:45 Speaker 04 Why had they chosen the bow tie?
8:47 Speaker 07 I don't know man, bright, red, red and green. Looked like a Christmas tree.
8:51 Speaker 04 Red and green is very Christmas.
8:52 Speaker 07 Yeah.
8:52 Speaker 04 Very Home Alone.
8:53 Speaker 07 Yeah.
8:54 Speaker 04 All red and green, didn't they?
8:55 Speaker 07 Yeah.
8:56 Speaker 04 To make it look like, what you think of Christmas.
8:58 Speaker 07 Yeah. Yeah. What have you been up to? You been up to anything? I haven't spoken to you.
9:02 Speaker 04 Ah, what have I been up to? Um, went to the zoo, obviously.
9:05 Speaker 07 Yeah, how's the zoo, how's the zoo going?
9:07 Speaker 04 The zoo's alright. Honestly, I was, I was buying an ice cream and the person serving the ice cream went, you're a gold member, right? I was like, no, I'm, but then they're just starting to recognise me. I didn't know where you should be. Next they'll be like, they'll be getting me to like muck out the. You know, zebras or something, because they'll be like, well, you work it, don't you? Um.
9:26 Speaker 07 They might get you to help with the conservation efforts.
9:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:30 Speaker 07 Insurginate. What's the bit, what's the, what's the star attraction at London Zoo? What's the big?
9:36 Speaker 04 It's you at this point, isn't it? Me, yeah, me, yeah. Simon, Simon from between us is doing a continuous P A there.
9:41 Speaker 07 Yeah.
9:42 Speaker 04 So, um, well, my daughter thinks the star attractions at the zoo are getting your face painted, going to the playground, just a playground, fifty pence to get in, just a playground.
9:51 Speaker 07 Sure.
9:51 Speaker 04 Um, and, uh, ice cream. That's what, um, so none of the animals. I'm now trying to basically bribe you. If the zoo is full of, um, parents trying to go to their child, can we just see one animal?
10:06 Speaker 07 Yeah.
10:06 Speaker 04 Before we get the ice cream.
10:08 Speaker 07 Yeah.
10:08 Speaker 04 And children, what I, what I find quite sweet.
10:10 Speaker 07 They've got gorillas.
10:11 Speaker 04 They've got gorillas. They're good.
10:12 Speaker 07 They've got gorillas, lions.
10:14 Speaker 04 They've got lions.
10:14 Speaker 07 They've got lions and gorillas.
10:15 Speaker 04 They've got lions, gorillas, they've got tigers.
10:18 Speaker 07 Polar bears.
10:19 Speaker 04 They haven't got polar bears. Um, apparently they used to have polar bears in London Zoo. Uh, and somebody told me that they once went to London Zoo and it was snowing. And the polar bears were so confused, they went indoors.
10:35 Speaker 07 Right.
10:36 Speaker 04 So I bet, I don't think they should have had polar bears there, probably. Um.
10:39 Speaker 07 Do you know, do you know, I think it's weird if you live in London, you also live in the same place as some lions.
10:45 Speaker 04 I know. Well, there's a park next to the zoo. What are they doing in London? Yeah, it is, yeah. Um, I used to play a computer game called Caesar three, which was the city, Roman city.
10:57 Speaker 07 Yeah, yeah.
10:57 Speaker 04 And sometimes if the city was like attacked. I think, I feel like the lions would get out of the Colosseum and they would start, and I also, I wonder if that would happen in London.
11:10 Speaker 07 Amazing, wouldn't it? Imagine that. Imagine one of the gorillas get out.
11:13 Speaker 04 Yeah. I mean, the, the gorillas are, they're all, I mean, interestingly, I think the big animals are the things that the parents want to look at. I've, what's quite, um, what's quite sweet with my daughter is that she really likes the things like the insects and like the snails and stuff. And it's basically because they're much better for children because they're closer, they're at their level, they don't move very much. So it's like, they're just there.
11:36 Speaker 07 Right.
11:36 Speaker 04 And she's not scared of them at all. She was like, all the praying mantises and stuff and big sort of. Um, you know, um, you have to say weird stuff.
11:45 Speaker 07 Yeah.
11:45 Speaker 04 Um, and she's like, you know, very happy.
11:48 Speaker 07 They've got those African snails or something.
11:50 Speaker 04 Giant African, giant African land snails. I also, I took my daughter swimming as well, and that was really nice. I'm so sort of, uh, just, uh, it takes me ages to get going. So basically she was like, can we go swimming?
12:04 Speaker 07 Yeah.
12:05 Speaker 04 I like looked up some swimming pools and I was like, oh, there's one here we could go to. But like the family swimming isn't until, um, like next Saturday, cause this was Sunday. And she was like, well, why don't we go to another pool? And I'm like, oh, you, yeah, I, I know, but I can't be bothered.
12:23 Speaker 07 Yeah.
12:23 Speaker 04 But I'm like, I suppose I should parent her.
12:26 Speaker 07 Yeah.
12:26 Speaker 04 So I just looked one up and we went and it was really good. And then, uh, basically, essentially she just plans the day now. I just get up, I'm like, oh, just.
12:37 Speaker 07 What we do today?
12:39 Speaker 04 And basically, yeah, it was her day. We went, went swimming, went to the park. Uh, it was a long old day. I mean, by the end of, we go to this park all the time and.
12:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's, I've put in some hours at that.
12:56 Speaker 04 It occurred to me recently that in, in eight years' time, I'll be fifty.
13:00 Speaker 07 Yeah.
13:00 Speaker 04 Right? That's so sad that I could tell even my mum was sad when I told her. She looked heartbroken.
13:07 Speaker 07 Well, imagine how it feels for her.
13:08 Speaker 04 Well, obviously it made her feel old, I suppose, but also.
13:10 Speaker 07 How old are you? Forty one?
13:11 Speaker 04 Forty two.
13:12 Speaker 07 Forty two?
13:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, disaster, like a fucking disaster.
13:15 Speaker 07 You're forty two, right? And on paper, that, you know, you're in your forties. Doesn't sound great, does it?
13:21 Speaker 04 No.
13:21 Speaker 07 Imagine your child being forty two.
13:23 Speaker 04 I know. Well, that was what she was thinking.
13:25 Speaker 07 Yeah.
13:25 Speaker 04 She thought, my God, what must I be?
13:29 Speaker 07 Yeah.
13:30 Speaker 04 And she couldn't even think.
13:32 Speaker 07 That's it. I'm forty next year.
13:36 Speaker 04 Don't, I mean.
13:37 Speaker 07 Got one last year.
13:37 Speaker 04 Just, yeah, but you know, you're, you're in your thirties.
13:40 Speaker 07 I've got to do something. Yeah, we're both in our thirties.
13:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, I'm only just thirty. You must be thirty.
13:46 Speaker 07 Thirty nine. Well, we're both in our thirties.
13:48 Speaker 04 But no, I suppose it's more that I, I don't want to think about, um.
13:55 Speaker 04 You know, when I'm forty three even, I don't even wanna think about that. Like, don't, don't make me put something in the diary where I'm thinking about being forty three. I don't even wanna be a week holder.
14:04 Speaker 07 Yeah.
14:05 Speaker 04 Don't make me think beyond today.
14:07 Speaker 07 You're doing great though, look at you. You, you, you look like, you look like about twelve still.
14:13 Speaker 04 Well, um.
14:14 Speaker 07 You're fine.
14:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:16 Speaker 07 You've got your floppy boyish.
14:17 Speaker 04 I've got my floppy boyish hair and.
14:19 Speaker 07 Yeah, you do. You've got a bit of the, um, what's his name? Oh, floppy head, floppy haired, posh. No. Hugh Grant? Hugh Grant, yeah.
14:28 Speaker 04 Hugh Grant.
14:28 Speaker 07 Huge grunt.
14:29 Speaker 04 I'd love to.
14:30 Speaker 07 You've got a bit of huge grunt about you.
14:31 Speaker 04 Love to have that.
14:32 Speaker 07 Handsome, sort of boyish.
14:35 Speaker 04 I'd love a bit of Hugh Grant, but I think, I was watching Four Weddings and a Funeral the other day. Fucking hell, he's handsome. My god.
14:41 Speaker 07 Seen it.
14:42 Speaker 04 Jesus Christ.
14:43 Speaker 07 Never seen Four Weddings and a Funeral.
14:44 Speaker 04 No. No, so, yeah.
14:46 Speaker 07 Is it, is it, is it good?
14:48 Speaker 04 Somebody who I think I do think I look a little bit like.
14:50 Speaker 07 I've never seen Four Weddings and a Funeral.
14:52 Speaker 04 It's good. No, yeah, it is good.
14:53 Speaker 07 I've never seen Notting Hill.
14:55 Speaker 04 It is good.
14:56 Speaker 07 I just think it's all a bunch of poshos.
14:58 Speaker 04 It is a bunch of poshos. That's definitely true.
15:01 Speaker 07 I remember I, I watched Bridget Jones's Diary once.
15:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:07 Speaker 07 And it was like, oh, we're going to mummy and daddy's in the, like, in the countryside. I don't, I can't remember exactly what happened, but it was like, she had some trendy flat in London and then she was going to mummy and daddy's in the, I was like, I'm so, I'm so far away from these people.
15:23 Speaker 04 I think, though, there was an era where it seemed as though maybe everybody was gonna be middle, you know that phrase, like, we're all middle class now. It felt like that was something that maybe we'd all attain. We were all getting richer.
15:33 Speaker 07 Aspirational.
15:34 Speaker 04 Aspirational.
15:34 Speaker 07 No, but it's not even a rich thing, is it? It's a, it's just a sort of mommy and daddy in the countryside.
15:39 Speaker 04 So it's a sort of upper middle class.
15:41 Speaker 07 That sort of thing. Like, I've never come from a family.
15:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:44 Speaker 07 Where if someone dies, they leave you something. I've never, there's, there's just nothing there. There's nothing to be left.
15:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah. No, that's, that's.
15:53 Speaker 07 There's no houses, there's no cottages anywhere.
15:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:56 Speaker 07 No one's got anything in my family. We're all fucking useless. I've got nothing coming to me.
16:05 Speaker 04 I I mean, it's, I think it's a, I think it's a fair point. And I think they are, it's a depiction of a life that presumably very few people actually enjoy. I don't know. I think I kind of.
16:16 Speaker 07 I think it just works in America, doesn't it? That's how Americans would like, would like.
16:19 Speaker 04 That's what Americans think that, I mean, in Hundred and One Dalmatians, there's a guy who is a sort of jobbing computer game designer. Right. He's basically like, he's sort of borderline out of work. He's a kind of artist.
16:34 Speaker 07 Right.
16:35 Speaker 04 And he lives on like, and this is an American film. He lives on like Berkeley Square or something. It's like, it's ridiculous.
16:41 Speaker 07 Yeah.
16:42 Speaker 04 His house kind of abuts Green Park or something.
16:44 Speaker 07 I think Peep Show does a good realistic interpretation of of sort of two middle class university educated guys living together. Because they're still in squalor.
16:57 Speaker 04 Completely. Yeah, completely.
17:00 Speaker 07 They do have mummy and daddy and they do have sort of.
17:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:03 Speaker 07 You know, their family and sisters are lawyers and things like that.
17:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:08 Speaker 07 But they're still sort of scrabbling around and trying to sort of.
17:10 Speaker 04 I think that's, yes, it's it's the bank of mum and dad, but the bank of mum and dad doesn't mean that you're living fabulously. Like, you're not gonna starve, but you're still gonna have a relatively crummy.
17:22 Speaker 07 Yeah.
17:22 Speaker 04 Life for about thirty years.
17:25 Speaker 07 I always think that flat looks grim.
17:27 Speaker 04 It's grim. There's a bit in one of the episodes where like they're hoovering up and they're just using, they haven't got the proper end for the hoover.
17:35 Speaker 07 It's jazz and the and the cameras are like on the hoover. They don't, they do that weird shot. And he's just hoovering up cigarette but like hoovering up everything.
17:44 Speaker 04 Hoovering up everything, yeah.
17:45 Speaker 07 There's like crisps in a bowl.
17:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:47 Speaker 07 They don't need, you could still eat those.
17:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:50 Speaker 07 And he's just hoovering the bowl.
17:52 Speaker 04 It is, um, it is a very good depiction of, of, um. Yeah, of squalor, isn't it?
17:59 Speaker 07 I wonder if they'll do more Peep Show. I feel like they should, I don't know if, um, what's that, what are they up to?
18:07 Speaker 04 Well, I suppose Jesse Armstrong wrote Succession.
18:09 Speaker 07 Yeah.
18:10 Speaker 04 But that's.
18:10 Speaker 07 Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong.
18:12 Speaker 03 They've got that sketch show now, Mitch and Webb.
18:14 Speaker 07 Yeah.
18:14 Speaker 03 On channel four, which is coming back.
18:15 Speaker 07 I've still not, I've still not seen it.
18:17 Speaker 04 An updated Peep Show would be interesting because it would be interesting to see it in the era of,
18:24 Speaker 04 I suppose, like, the economy as it is, as it is now, like, apps everywhere, AI, all that stuff. Cause I mean, it feels like a kind of late nineties, early noughties world. Like it's kind of,
18:39 Speaker 07 I don't know.
18:40 Speaker 04 The internet is still kind of on the border of their existence, rather than just being absolutely saturating everything.
18:47 Speaker 07 Yeah.
18:48 Speaker 04 Um, it'd be challenging. I think it's really hard to write about the modern world. Cause how do you, like, what do you do about screens?
18:56 Speaker 07 Jess would be trying to like, trying to launch an app.
18:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:59 Speaker 07 I mean, there's so much podcasts and stuff. Jess would have a podcast.
19:03 Speaker 04 He'd have a podcast.
19:03 Speaker 07 There's so much stuff going on in that media.
19:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:07 Speaker 07 I mean, I do forget how old Peep Show is. I think Peep Show had something like five series before The Inbetweeners even came out. So I had four series or something. I do forget how old Peep Show is. And you watch it now, like Jeremy says things like, which now isn't, it's not even a funny joke because it's so got, gone the other way. He keeps, he says a few times, I think the internet's going to be really big.
19:34 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
19:35 Speaker 07 And now we're so, we've like, oh, we've done that joke as well. Like, we're so far at the other end.
19:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:42 Speaker 07 But Jeremy's like, a few times like, yeah, I see the, I think the internet, the internet's going to be really big, I think.
19:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You mean we're at the other end as in it's all fierce now.
19:51 Speaker 07 Which was funny at the time because it, because I think the internet was already big at that point.
19:56 Speaker 04 Yes, of course. Yeah.
19:57 Speaker 07 So Jeremy's saying the internet's really big. Now it's redundant. Now it's completely redundant. Because the internet is not only really big, the internet is everything.
20:04 Speaker 04 It's just everything. Yes. It's not. Yeah. It's, it's just a case of like, what little islands have not yet been swallowed up.
20:10 Speaker 07 Yeah.
20:10 Speaker 04 By it. Yeah.
20:11 Speaker 07 I like jokes like that though.
20:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:13 Speaker 07 I do like jokes. I said to, uh, I went to see Paul Weller once, a couple of years ago.
20:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:19 Speaker 07 And, um, and I went to say goodbye to him. And I watched the show and it was really good, it was really, really good. Bam was like, it was probably, I've got to see him a few times. And this particular one, everyone sounded so tight and so brilliant. And I said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna shoot off now. It was nice to see you again. Just wanna say you sound really great. I was like, I think you should stick at this. I think.
20:44 Speaker 07 I think you could really make a go of this, Paul.
20:47 Speaker 07 He just laughed and went, yeah, yeah, good.
20:51 Speaker 07 He's got a really good sense of humor.
20:52 Speaker 04 Keep going, Paul.
20:53 Speaker 07 Yeah.
20:54 Speaker 04 Keep going.
20:54 Speaker 07 I think I can really see a future in this for you, mate.
20:56 Speaker 04 Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
21:02 Speaker 04 But yeah, no, I mean, yeah, people show very, um. Very, I mean, a very bleak, a very bleak show.
21:09 Speaker 07 I think of all the, of all the sitcoms, I think, I feel like that would be the easiest to bring back. And it would just hit the ground running and you would just pick up from where it left off, sort of thing.
21:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
21:22 Speaker 07 I think that would, I think, yeah. Can we do that? Should we start a movement?
21:26 Speaker 03 I'd love that.
21:26 Speaker 07 More peep show.
21:28 Speaker 04 It's a great show. So good.
21:30 Speaker 03 Season nine, kind of, I feel like that was the last season. They tipped over into the modern world, like Mark was really into Candy Crush.
21:36 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
21:38 Speaker 03 So that, that last series kind of did a little bit of a transition.
21:42 Speaker 04 I always felt that, I always felt that The Simpsons never really knew what to do about the internet. I, I think it had, I think it was the great sitcom or I suppose it is sort of a sitcom of the television era. It really understood, it was so interested in television and it really knew about television. And like, and the opening credits are the Simpsons family coming home and sitting in front of the television. And this was the, this was the era, it was, it was a television show that was about television.
22:13 Speaker 07 Yeah. Shall we do an, shall we do?
22:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, let's, let's, um, sort of.
22:16 Speaker 07 That's a, that's a very, very cold open.
22:22 Speaker 04 Joey James, Joey James, Joey James.
22:26 Speaker 07 Welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting. Mine's terrible, this, by the way.
22:33 Speaker 04 Oh, well, mine's quite good.
22:35 Speaker 07 Mine's boring. I bet we've gone for the same thing.
22:37 Speaker 04 Oh, God, I hope not. No, because I don't think, I think mine's good.
22:42 Speaker 07 But you're... What, are we...
22:44 Speaker 04 I mean...
22:45 Speaker 07 Are we doing Dracula?
22:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:47 Speaker 07 Yeah, right, okay.
22:48 Speaker 04 Okay, but that's, that doesn't count as us doing the same thing.
22:50 Speaker 07 But I'm not, yeah, no, but...
22:52 Speaker 04 Unless our fact is, this week we're doing Dracula, which...
22:55 Speaker 07 We are, aren't we?
22:56 Speaker 04 No, but what I mean is, no, no, but what I mean, if that's not the, that, no, unless, it doesn't matter. Let's just, let's just carry on.
23:02 Speaker 03 You guys know what a podcast is, yeah?
23:04 Speaker 07 Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, we'll, we'll let you guys know whether or not our fact is about Dracula later.
23:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
23:12 Speaker 07 Our policy is that the more interesting the fact, the more true it is. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but don't want to research yourself in a segment that we call Fact Check. So if you do want to send us your facts, email us, [email protected] . Our WhatsApp number is 07822034330. And you can follow us on socials, @joandjamespod. And you can also watch our episodes in full on YouTube, just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up!
23:44 Speaker 03 So, we had some suggestions for script up, and one of the iconic scenes in film that I thought would be fun for us to do is Bane versus Batman in The Dark Knight Rises. Who would like to be Bane and who would like to be Batman?
23:58 Speaker 07 I feel like you should probably be Bane, shouldn't you?
24:00 Speaker 04 I'm gonna be Bane.
24:01 Speaker 03 Yeah?
24:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:02 Speaker 07 I'll be Ba-, I'll be Batman.
24:04 Speaker 03 I'm gonna send you this script. What I will say is, this is a Bane-heavy part of the script, but this is a fight scene. I don't know if you remember, they're on sort of this catwalk sort of element.
24:17 Speaker 04 I don't know whether I've actually seen Dark Knight Rises, so, well...
24:21 Speaker 07 It doesn't matter.
24:22 Speaker 04 Doesn't, don't think it matters.
24:22 Speaker 03 That's fine, Tom Hardy won't have seen it when he got the script, so...
24:26 Speaker 04 Yeah, exactly.
24:27 Speaker 07 Also, you don't, you don't need to do, you could do your own spin on it.
24:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:33 Speaker 07 I'm, I'm gonna put, I'm gonna put my own thing into Ba-, Batman.
24:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, I mean, I'm...
24:39 Speaker 07 Put a bit of Joe Thomas into this. Show Tom how it should have been done.
24:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay.
24:44 Speaker 07 All right, here we go.
24:45 Speaker 03 Okay.
24:45 Speaker 07 All right, take one.
24:46 Speaker 03 And, action!
24:51 Speaker 07 Is yours, I fear. Bane?
24:56 Speaker 07 Let's not stand on ceremony here, Mr Wayne.
25:02 Speaker 04 Catwoman hears the name, less sure of what she's done. Batman moves at Bane, strikes powerful blows. Bane catches his fist.
25:12 Speaker 07 His is cautious strength. Victory has defeated you.
25:18 Speaker 04 Bane smashes Batman back.
25:19 Speaker 07 Batman back. Batman back. So it's just funny. I don't think that's funny thing to say.
25:25 Speaker 04 Batman back.
25:25 Speaker 07 Batman back.
25:27 Speaker 04 Kicks him off the catwalk. Batman drops, uses his cape to land.
25:31 Speaker 07 There's always a catwalk, isn't there?
25:33 Speaker 04 Bane climbs down on a chain. His men watched in disciplined silence. Batman hurls flashbangs at Bane, who doesn't flinch.
25:41 Speaker 07 The architecture and deception are powerful agents to the uninitiated.
25:48 Speaker 04 Batman lashes out at Bane. Bane counters. They separate.
25:54 Speaker 07 But we are initiated, aren't we? Bruce? I don't think. The League of Shadows. And you betrayed us. Us? You're excommunicated from a gang of psychopaths. Now I am the League of Shadows. Here to fulfill.
26:13 Speaker 04 Now then.
26:14 Speaker 07 Ra's al Ghul. Ra's al Ghul. His destiny. His destiny.
26:22 Speaker 04 Batman hurls himself at Bane, throwing him into the waterfall, where he smashes his fists and gauntlets.
26:28 Speaker 07 Where is it? There's a catwalk and a waterfall and chains.
26:32 Speaker 04 Waterfalls earlier. And gauntlets into Bane's mask again and again, water cascading over them. Bane is not moving, just taking the blows.
26:40 Speaker 07 Batman forces.
26:45 Speaker 04 Bane's arms shoot out.
26:46 Speaker 07 What shoot out?
26:49 Speaker 07 What shoots out?
26:52 Speaker 07 So Bane's taking some blows, something shoots out.
26:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
26:56 Speaker 07 Batman's getting smashing Batman.
26:58 Speaker 04 Smashing Batman aside, Bane rises.
27:03 Speaker 04 You.
27:03 Speaker 07 Fight like a younger man. Nothing held back. No reserves. Admirable, but mistaken.
27:12 Speaker 04 Batman hits a switch on his belt. Oh, you're hard. The lights go out. Bane turns, slowly addressing all the shadows at once.
27:22 Speaker 07 You think darkness is your ally? But you merely adopted the dark. Again. But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it. Formed by it.
27:38 Speaker 04 In the shadows, Batman circles, looking to strike.
27:40 Speaker 07 Has Bane taken a shit?
27:43 Speaker 07 He's taken a really big turd. I didn't see the light until I was already a man. And by then, it was nothing to me but blinding.
27:56 Speaker 04 Bane lunges backwards into the darkness, Batman's throat in his grasp.
28:01 Speaker 07 The shadows betray you? Because they belong to me.
28:07 Speaker 04 Bane smashes him into, you haven't got any lines at all, Bane smashes him into the ground, pounding, pounding, pounding. So, capitalise pounding, but then just normal pounding, pounding the hard cow with his bare fist until it cracks. Bane rises from Batman, gestures to the ceiling of the chamber, explosive charges have been drilled into holes.
28:27 Speaker 07 I will show you what I've made my home. While preparing to bring justice. Then, I will break you. Whoa. That was, I've got tingles.
28:44 Speaker 04 I honestly, I thought you were gonna read the stage direction.
28:46 Speaker 07 I feel, I feel like I should have done.
28:48 Speaker 04 You could have done, because you would have had something to do.
28:49 Speaker 07 Yeah.
28:50 Speaker 04 But I, I, um.
28:52 Speaker 07 No, that was, uh, glorious.
28:54 Speaker 04 The reason I read the stage directions is because, like.
28:57 Speaker 07 Well, you were getting into it.
28:58 Speaker 04 When you are in a character, like Bane, like Bane wouldn't share the directions. Right. So like, it was quite difficult to not actually physically attack.
29:04 Speaker 07 I feel like if Bane was reading the script, he would read the directions.
29:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, he'd read Batman as well, but like, I had, that's, you know, had to. It was difficult, even that I consider a compromise that Bane.
29:15 Speaker 07 It will be very painful.
29:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:18 Speaker 07 For you. That's my favourite bit. The bit on the plane.
29:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:23 Speaker 07 I haven't watched that for years, I need to re-watch that.
29:25 Speaker 04 Good film. Yeah.
29:26 Speaker 07 Good film, made better, I think. I think Nolan is kicking himself now, because you know he listens to this.
29:33 Speaker 04 He'll be calling you up for the next project.
29:36 Speaker 07 Yeah.
29:36 Speaker 04 No doubt.
29:37 Speaker 07 Absolutely.
29:39 Speaker 04 Well, we'll see.
29:40 Speaker 07 Oppenheimer two, Oppenheimer, Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer.
29:45 Speaker 04 Oppenheimer two, Oppenheimer. Have I told you that, I'm sure I said this before, but like, you know when we were, when we were doing-
29:52 Speaker 07 Sounds like a Pixar Easter film.
29:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:55 Speaker 07 Oppenheimer.
29:59 Speaker 04 Released on Easter Sunday.
30:00 Speaker 07 Yeah.
30:01 Speaker 04 You've definitely got a shot at that. Yeah.
30:07 Speaker 04 Have I told you that when the-
30:09 Speaker 07 Communist bunny rabbit.
30:12 Speaker 04 When we did the Inbetweeners films, the scripts kept getting leaked and-
30:17 Speaker 07 Did they?
30:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:18 Speaker 07 Who was leaking them? I never knew this.
30:20 Speaker 04 Oh, well, they, they-
30:22 Speaker 07 I had no idea. I had no idea at all.
30:24 Speaker 04 They never found out who's leaking them. Anyway, moving on. Oh, but they, so they gave them these code names on the email.
30:32 Speaker 07 Yeah. Are we allowed to talk about those?
30:34 Speaker 04 I don't know, but the second one was called The Long Goodbye.
30:35 Speaker 07 The Long Goodbye, yeah.
30:36 Speaker 04 And so for a while on the United Agents website, it said, Joe is the star of the Inbetweeners movie and the Inbetweeners movie two, colon, The Long Goodbye.
30:45 Speaker 07 Yeah, that was just our code word for it.
30:47 Speaker 04 But also like-
30:48 Speaker 07 Because if you found the script or something, if someone left it on the train-
30:51 Speaker 04 It would just say The Long Goodbye.
30:53 Speaker 07 I mean, if you turn the first page-
30:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:55 Speaker 07 It would say-
30:56 Speaker 04 It'd be like Mr Cooper being like, oi oi Simon, where are you off to?
31:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:02 Speaker 07 Anyway, how does the second Inbetweeners film start?
31:07 Speaker 07 At a party or something? Hogwarts party? Is it a Hogwarts party?
31:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's, they, they addressed, yeah, Will says greetings muggles.
31:17 Speaker 07 That's right. Is that the first film? Is that the first?
31:20 Speaker 04 First scene in the second film.
31:20 Speaker 07 First scene in the second film, greetings muggles.
31:24 Speaker 04 And Neil Semieni.
31:25 Speaker 07 Daisy Ridley, was she in that?
31:28 Speaker 04 Yeah, she was in it, and then they wanted to get her back for the reshoots.
31:31 Speaker 07 She was too busy, funnily enough.
31:33 Speaker 04 She was doing Star Wars.
31:34 Speaker 07 Yeah.
31:35 Speaker 04 If there's one thing The Inbetweeners excels in, it's briefly crossing paths with people who then become really massive.
31:40 Speaker 07 Yeah.
31:41 Speaker 04 While we just stay around.
31:44 Speaker 07 Yeah, yeah.
31:44 Speaker 04 Doing even more Inbetweeners.
31:45 Speaker 07 That's it, yeah.
31:48 Speaker 04 Oh, what are you doing? Oh, even more of these.
31:50 Speaker 07 Got more of these, more of these coming up.
31:52 Speaker 04 More of these, even more of these, my Walks with Men cap.
31:55 Speaker 07 But that was the, that was Bane versus Batman. The Dark Knight Rises.
32:00 Speaker 03 We can move into fact check if you want.
32:03 Speaker 07 Uh, or Joe's got his fact first.
32:05 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, we've got our natural fact to do.
32:06 Speaker 07 Yeah. So, Joe, we do have to do our fact, don't we? What, um, I know everyone's guessing what today's fact is about.
32:15 Speaker 04 So, as, as I'm sure all of you are aware.
32:18 Speaker 07 Hmm.
32:19 Speaker 04 Um, today is, and you're all, you know, shouting this.
32:24 Speaker 07 Yeah.
32:25 Speaker 04 At the radio, stop going on about it.
32:27 Speaker 07 Radios, how people. It's how people listen to it. It's how people listen to the podcast in your head, the wireless. They're all, the families around the wireless.
32:36 Speaker 04 I listen to, I listen to podcasts in my car quite a lot, and to me, I just still think of it as the radio. I mean, I know that's.
32:43 Speaker 07 They're coming from the skies.
32:47 Speaker 07 I was literally saying, I was talking to Harrison about George Orwell yesterday. Cause he's, he's been reading Animal Farm for school.
32:53 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah. Oh, right.
32:54 Speaker 07 And I've never read it.
32:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:56 Speaker 07 And I was like, oh, is it good? I've heard it's really good. And, um, cause they've also.
33:01 Speaker 04 It's an amazing book.
33:01 Speaker 07 Yeah. Um, and he was like, yeah, it was dead interesting. And then I was talking to him about War of the Worlds.
33:08 Speaker 04 Yeah. And people thought it was real.
33:10 Speaker 07 Well, I don't, I don't know. I might be, this might be information that I've fucked up, that I've just passed on to my son, as if it's, it is real. But I thought it was like a 1950s radio show originally, but nobody understood. It was, it was like a news report or something.
33:29 Speaker 04 They put it, I think they put it out as though it was a news report.
33:33 Speaker 07 And some people were freaking out, going, oh God, the aliens have finally come. I wish they would come.
33:41 Speaker 07 To, to, to quote you, either shit or get off the pot, do you know what I mean? So lurking around in the clouds, hanging around army bases and stuff, freaking out pilots. Just fucking, either be, either come or don't.
33:55 Speaker 04 Come or don't, yeah, I agree.
33:58 Speaker 07 Do you know what I mean?
33:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:00 Speaker 07 Little green wankers.
34:01 Speaker 04 Yeah. No, they, they're annoying, aren't they?
34:03 Speaker 07 Unless they're big, in which case.
34:08 Speaker 07 Welcome.
34:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:13 Speaker 07 Just trying to make sure I don't piss off the aliens.
34:15 Speaker 04 No, no, absolutely.
34:18 Speaker 07 But yeah, no, what's our fact today, Joe?
34:20 Speaker 04 Right, well.
34:21 Speaker 07 It's the, it's an anniversary, is that right?
34:24 Speaker 04 Yes, and as, I mean.
34:29 Speaker 04 I mean, I feel a bit, it feels a bit patronizing to even, you know, think that people might not know this, but it's obviously the anniversary of Dracula being published. So, um, uh, so that was in 1897. So I, is it just the to the day anniversary? It's not a particular year anniversary, it's just. So it was, because I was looking at the year, I was like, oh, so it was, oh, it's the, it's the 129th anniversary of the publication of.
34:57 Speaker 07 His name's Bram Stoker.
34:59 Speaker 04 Bram Stoker.
35:00 Speaker 07 Right.
35:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:01 Speaker 07 Good.
35:02 Speaker 04 Irish.
35:03 Speaker 07 I've been calling him Bam Stoker.
35:06 Speaker 04 Like Bam, Bam, what's the guy in Jackass?
35:10 Speaker 07 Bam Margera?
35:11 Speaker 04 Bam Margera?
35:12 Speaker 07 Yeah.
35:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:12 Speaker 07 Bam Stoker.
35:14 Speaker 04 Bam Stoker.
35:15 Speaker 07 So Bam Stoker brought out a book called Dracula, people loved it. Um, so today, our facts are inspired by the tale of Dracula.
35:24 Speaker 04 And we have had a taste for vampires recently.
35:28 Speaker 07 Of course we have, yeah.
35:29 Speaker 04 With our.
35:29 Speaker 07 They're silly vampires, they are.
35:32 Speaker 04 We did our, uh.
35:34 Speaker 07 Did that a little Twilight.
35:35 Speaker 04 Twilight.
35:36 Speaker 07 So what's your, uh, what's your fact for us?
35:38 Speaker 04 Okay, so this is something that I found out. Now, uh, obviously the, the book came out in eighteen ninety seven.
35:45 Speaker 07 Hmm.
35:46 Speaker 04 Uh, not, not overwhelming success, successful enough. Bram Stoker was writing lots of different things. He was quite, he wrote for the popular market. So he wrote this kind of Gothic stuff.
35:59 Speaker 07 Right.
35:59 Speaker 04 Other Gothic stuff was going on at the same time.
36:02 Speaker 07 This same time as like Frankenstein.
36:04 Speaker 04 Including, yeah, uh, well, no, Frankenstein was, I think, earlier. I think that was, that was earlier. Um. This was actually an era when, because there'd been quite a lot of reform in Britain and there'd been a lot more education, a lot more people could read. So I think there was a, there was an eight, eighteen seventy act that, that, that made education much more widespread. So you had a much bigger reading public. So people were trying to write stuff that was a bit more kind of for a popular market.
36:32 Speaker 07 Yeah, a bit more commercial.
36:33 Speaker 04 Bit more commercial. So there was, there was another book that I was looking at that was published around the same time. That apparently did a little bit better even, uh, than Dracula. And this book was called The Beetle. And it was about, uh, a guy who went to Egypt and he was attacked by a, a priestess, to be fair.
36:53 Speaker 07 Okay, I thought you were gonna say a beetle.
36:55 Speaker 04 Not, no, well, no, that's the thing. But then I don't know when, but in the end, like she was a bit of a beetle.
37:00 Speaker 07 Right.
37:01 Speaker 04 She came back to England and she was causing, she started a band. They had one drummer initially.
37:08 Speaker 07 Yeah.
37:08 Speaker 04 Um, but then they, they were, then for the rest of his life, he thought, oh, if only I could have been in that band. Um. Uh, no, no, she, so I think she was probably a scar of beetle.
37:20 Speaker 07 Right.
37:21 Speaker 04 And she got all sorts. So that, and apparently that, the beetle actually did a bit better than, but anyway, so this is getting off chat. So. Anyway, other things being part around the time, including The Beetle, I just wanna get that in because I think The Beetle is a funny title for a book.
37:33 Speaker 07 Yeah.
37:34 Speaker 04 So, did okay, but then obviously really cut through with films. So the first film version was made in nineteen twenty one, but it's been lost.
37:42 Speaker 07 No one knows where it is.
37:43 Speaker 04 No one knows where it is. All they've got is like four posters. Nineteen twenty two, that's when you get the first famous one, Nosferatu, uh, and the director of that, uh, whose name I have for the moment forgotten. He died in, uh, the nineteen forties in America and his body was buried in Germany.
38:08 Speaker 07 Right.
38:09 Speaker 04 And in twenty fifteen, his tomb was raided and they stole his skull.
38:18 Speaker 04 Oh, I say they, I don't know, presumably some, some.
38:21 Speaker 07 youths.
38:22 Speaker 04 Well, probably some German teenagers, to be honest.
38:23 Speaker 07 Yeah.
38:25 Speaker 04 Sounds like if I was to put money on it, I'd say German teenagers.
38:27 Speaker 07 Probably smoked a few dudes.
38:28 Speaker 04 Probably did, yeah. Probably, probably took it to a Berlin.
38:31 Speaker 07 Yeah.
38:32 Speaker 04 Basement techno club or something like.
38:34 Speaker 07 Steal his skull?
38:35 Speaker 04 Look at this, it's a laugh. Is this a laugh? We can't tell.
38:39 Speaker 07 They are so funny.
38:41 Speaker 04 This is funny, yeah, it's a skull, but.
38:43 Speaker 07 Alice Clare Justin.
38:47 Speaker 04 Um, and they, and in the, um, in the news report that I saw, they'd said, and this guy, he was buried next to his two brothers, but they were like, and it was weird because they didn't disturb the brothers' tombs. You know, it was not weird because the brothers didn't direct Dracula.
39:05 Speaker 07 Yeah.
39:05 Speaker 04 It's not weird at all.
39:06 Speaker 07 Yeah, you're not gonna take those.
39:07 Speaker 04 So, yeah, it's like, whoa, that's weird, isn't it?
39:09 Speaker 07 The brother.
39:10 Speaker 04 Well, why didn't they steal every skull?
39:11 Speaker 07 Oh, the br-
39:12 Speaker 04 Well, busy and also.
39:13 Speaker 07 The brother of Neil Armstrong's skull was taken.
39:15 Speaker 04 I know, yeah, exactly. Um, and they also found, they still have never found the skull.
39:21 Speaker 07 Never found a skull.
39:21 Speaker 04 They found candle wax in the tomb as well, as though maybe some sort of ritual had been.
39:25 Speaker 07 Ooh.
39:25 Speaker 04 Candles never mean, candles are either really restful or really weird. So you find candle wax, you're like, either it's just someone chilling out.
39:32 Speaker 07 Yeah.
39:32 Speaker 04 You know, with a biscuit, or it's like Satan worship.
39:35 Speaker 07 Yeah.
39:36 Speaker 04 Or both.
39:37 Speaker 07 They're obsessed with candles, aren't they, the scientists?
39:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:40 Speaker 07 Um, is that your fact then, that his skull was taken?
39:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's, um. The director's name was Frederick. Wilhelm Murnau? Yes, F W, how do you spell it? M U what? M U R A N A U. Yeah. Murnau, I'm not sure that's the pronunciation, but. Murnau, don't know. No, yeah. But, so, so he now, uh, does not have a skull.
40:07 Speaker 07 He's dead though, isn't he?
40:08 Speaker 04 He is dead, so maybe he's.
40:10 Speaker 07 He's not wondering where it is or anything.
40:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:12 Speaker 07 Himself.
40:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:14 Speaker 07 Alright.
40:14 Speaker 04 But, um, but.
40:15 Speaker 07 Good fact.
40:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, what did you make of that? So they've never, not, never, not yet found.
40:20 Speaker 07 And there's also a film missing as well.
40:23 Speaker 04 A lot of things go missing.
40:24 Speaker 07 A lot of spooky stuff going on around the Dracula films.
40:27 Speaker 04 Hmm.
40:28 Speaker 07 Good fact, Joe.
40:29 Speaker 04 Thank you.
40:29 Speaker 07 I think.
40:30 Speaker 04 I think it's a good fact, yeah.
40:33 Speaker 07 I, I thought we'd go for the same one. My one's worse, my one, my fact's worse than yours.
40:39 Speaker 04 I mean, I think it's interesting as well that there's this, there is this kind of, I think the, I think the suggestion i- is that, like vampires, like the word vampire,
40:52 Speaker 04 I, I first entered like English usage because there was this idea that, it's funny, I read an article that said that a, um, a corpse had been, they believed it was, get, they thought it had come up from the ground and that it, the article actually said it.
41:13 Speaker 07 Wondered about.
41:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, the article said it had been implicated in some murders. I thought it was funny, he used the word implicated. She's like, it might be a walking corpse, but. If it's not, it's just a walking corpse, don't worry about it. But like, as long as it doesn't murder anyone.
41:24 Speaker 07 Yeah.
41:24 Speaker 04 That's, that's fine. Uh, but basically bodies can do weird things after death. They can, they, their hair, the hair continues to grow, the nail. A lot of the, when they found this body, they found that the nails were still growing and.
41:34 Speaker 07 Well, this is the thing.
41:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
41:36 Speaker 07 I think that's a common misconception.
41:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
41:38 Speaker 07 About the nails growing. I think what it is, is your skin shrinks.
41:41 Speaker 04 Oh, it's the receding of the.
41:43 Speaker 07 Yeah.
41:44 Speaker 04 Okay.
41:45 Speaker 07 I've got conflicting, because I used to love that fact when I was a kid. I was like, yeah, do you know, your nails still grow even after you're dead. That's amazing. Um, but why would they? If you're dead.
41:54 Speaker 04 You wanna look good.
41:55 Speaker 07 You're not gonna still, you wanna look good.
41:57 Speaker 04 It's not gonna go, is it?
41:58 Speaker 07 Yeah. Um, should we do fact check, Joe?
42:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
42:00 Speaker 07 We'll move on to fact check.
42:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
42:02 Speaker 07 Um, this is the part of the episode where we read a fact or question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're gonna have a good old think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us. And to decide whether it passes our fact check. Uh, Joe, I think you've got this week's fact check.
42:18 Speaker 04 Yes, so I have got this week's fact check, which comes from Doug. And he sent in a message via the fact out form.
42:27 Speaker 07 Hmm, this form.
42:28 Speaker 04 This form. Love it. Love the use of the form.
42:32 Speaker 07 Hmm.
42:33 Speaker 04 Doug asks, can a swan really break a man's leg?
42:37 Speaker 07 Hmm.
42:37 Speaker 04 He's got four question marks there.
42:38 Speaker 07 He's, whoa, he's.
42:39 Speaker 04 He really wants to know this. I've done some research myself. I can't imagine what that involved, but I'm yet to find any concrete evidence of a swan's leg breaking capability. Obviously, you're, obviously if you were up a ladder and were spooked by a swan and fell off, you could break a leg. But I don't think that counts.
42:58 Speaker 07 No.
42:58 Speaker 04 I do, and I do agree with that. Yeah, same as if the swan sort of took out a hit on you.
43:03 Speaker 07 Well, also, if you're, if, you know, if the swan, if you've asked the swan to hold the ladder at the bottom and it just wanders off. And the ladder slips and you break your leg, I'd blame that on the swan.
43:14 Speaker 04 Okay, so, so that can be the swan's fault.
43:17 Speaker 07 Um.
43:18 Speaker 04 Well, we're gonna get on the case and we'll be back with the fact stat.
43:22 Speaker 07 Yes.
43:44 Speaker 03 Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
44:00 Speaker 06 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
44:02 Speaker 05 And I'm Marco Burchella.
44:04 Speaker 06 And this is Boots Off.
44:07 Speaker 05 We are friends who have spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
44:15 Speaker 06 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
44:21 Speaker 05 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
44:24 Speaker 06 The adventures that lead to adversity.
44:26 Speaker 05 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
44:30 Speaker 06 Listen every Thursday. Just search for Boots Off.
44:37 Speaker 07 Right, welcome back to Joe and James Factor.
44:39 Speaker 04 Hi.
44:41 Speaker 07 We were just fact checking on the behalf of Doug, who wanted to know, can a swan really break someone's leg? He says, can it break a man's leg? But I've heard, I've not heard legs, I've heard arms.
44:55 Speaker 04 I think, I think I've, yeah, I think I've, I've heard, I've heard arms as well. I think maybe he's put leg in because he's, he's got a little bit in mind of this ladder thing.
45:05 Speaker 07 Yeah.
45:05 Speaker 04 He seems to be.
45:06 Speaker 07 You can still break your arm on a ladder, but I've heard the same thing.
45:10 Speaker 04 Good point.
45:11 Speaker 07 But I've, but I've heard arm, I've heard a swan.
45:13 Speaker 04 I've heard arm as well.
45:14 Speaker 07 And I've said it to my kids, like if we've gone to a duck pond or something, I've gone, oh, careful.
45:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:19 Speaker 07 Careful of the swan. They're very, they're very angry, especially if they've got a nest or young around.
45:26 Speaker 04 Well, I think that's definitely true.
45:27 Speaker 07 They can be quite aggressive.
45:28 Speaker 04 If there are youngsters near.
45:29 Speaker 07 They do charge. I feel like I've got a vague memory of being charged by a swan myself. They put their wings out and they run after you.
45:36 Speaker 04 My dad, when he was a young man, he was, spent some time in Swaziland with the Peace Corps and he said that they used geese to act as like guard dogs.
45:48 Speaker 07 Right.
45:49 Speaker 04 Geese are apparently, they're quite, they're a bit handy, geese.
45:52 Speaker 07 Where was he?
45:53 Speaker 04 Swaziland.
45:53 Speaker 07 Swaziland?
45:54 Speaker 04 Swaziland. I don't, I think, I think it might not be called.
45:57 Speaker 07 Swansealand.
45:58 Speaker 04 Swansealand, yeah.
45:59 Speaker 07 And I was like, what?
46:00 Speaker 04 Swansealand is, if you're, if you're in Cardiff, but you want a little taste of Swansea.
46:05 Speaker 07 Yeah.
46:05 Speaker 04 Get yourself down to Swansealand and it's got like, you know, it's got the, the really big debenums, you know? I don't know what happened Swansea, just thought they might have been devonums. Um, it's got, yeah, uh, Swansea Bowl, Swansea Bowl, yeah.
46:22 Speaker 07 The Swansea lot there.
46:23 Speaker 04 Swansea, Swansea lot there, yeah, statues of some of the, some of the.
46:26 Speaker 07 They're all little slugs though, aren't they?
46:28 Speaker 04 You Swansea lot are little slugs?
46:30 Speaker 07 They're all little slugs with no personalities.
46:31 Speaker 04 You're a better than you are.
46:33 Speaker 07 Yeah.
46:34 Speaker 04 And he got aggressive from, um, but yeah, and apparently, yes, yes, they are, um, geese. Geese can be aggressive. Swans are this curious thing. I mean, we're.
46:45 Speaker 07 They're massive swans. They're fucking big.
46:47 Speaker 04 They're massive and they sort of, they, they've, they play quite a prominent role, I think, in film and television culture. I feel like there's the, the hot fuzz thing that's got a swan in it, hasn't it? There's.
47:00 Speaker 07 It's very taboo. It's one of the final taboos, isn't it? To kill a swan.
47:04 Speaker 04 Or marry one.
47:06 Speaker 07 Or marry one.
47:06 Speaker 04 Not allowed to marry one.
47:07 Speaker 07 Yeah. You're not allowed to marry a swan?
47:09 Speaker 04 You have to go over to Gretna Green and then you can marry a swan.
47:12 Speaker 07 Right.
47:13 Speaker 04 Or goose, I think a goose can't marry a swan. I don't know. Um, but, um, I think the queen, the queen can.
47:20 Speaker 07 This is a fever dream, like this episode. It's really bizarre.
47:23 Speaker 04 Yeah. Um, the, yeah, the, the swan, yeah, I've heard, I mean, I have heard this. The, the, the idea about them being like royal, royal property. I.
47:35 Speaker 07 Yeah, they're owned by the.
47:37 Speaker 04 The king, the king now.
47:38 Speaker 07 Do they have swan for Christmas dinner? Cause they're the only people that are allowed to have a swan.
47:45 Speaker 04 I imagine it's not very nice.
47:46 Speaker 07 I don't know if I've dreamt that up.
47:49 Speaker 04 In Operation Good Guys, which is another sitcom of the same vintage.
47:53 Speaker 07 Well, yeah, you know, The Office had a lot to.
47:56 Speaker 04 The Office actually did owe quite a lot to Operation Guys.
47:58 Speaker 07 Yeah.
47:58 Speaker 04 Um, the, they ha- they have a visit by a member of the royal family, might be the queen.
48:03 Speaker 07 Right.
48:04 Speaker 04 And, um, they serve a, a dish that they call stuffed with a turkey, swan in a basket. And she says, that's absolutely revolting.
48:16 Speaker 04 So, I mean, if that's to be believed, they, then the queen does not, um, does not eat the.
48:24 Speaker 07 Well, yeah, you keep saying the queen.
48:26 Speaker 04 The king, sorry. And she is, she's been deaf for a while.
48:29 Speaker 07 It's difficult to keep up, isn't it?
48:30 Speaker 04 It is hard to keep up. These, these monarchs, they come and go.
48:33 Speaker 07 Keeping up with the Windsors.
48:34 Speaker 04 Oh, God, is he a pope now? Oh, I don't know.
48:38 Speaker 07 What I would like to talk about is the fact, that it is a fact, as far as I'm concerned, that a swan can break someone's arm for definite. And if it's not a fact, I, I'm honestly going to be so disillusioned. I don't know what to, I don't know.
48:52 Speaker 04 Why do you, so what, the swan, the swan, the swan has a wing.
48:58 Speaker 07 It's got a wing, it's got a beak, got that long neck.
49:01 Speaker 04 And, and I appreciate it's got a lot of stuff, but a lot of that seems like a liability, rather than, like, like.
49:07 Speaker 07 Fluffy headed.
49:08 Speaker 04 Yes, it's got a long neck. To me, that's, I mean, a giraffe's got a long neck, but we don't hear them breaking people's arms.
49:14 Speaker 07 I don't know, man, they do. Have you seen giraffes fight? Have you seen giraffes have a scrap? They kick each other. They also smack their necks onto each other's neck.
49:22 Speaker 04 I actually have seen it.
49:24 Speaker 07 It's really violent.
49:26 Speaker 04 I think swans.
49:28 Speaker 07 Do you know the giraffe, right? Because of the way the gir- the giraffe has evolved to have this mental neck, there is a, there is some sort of, um, I think it's a, a vein or something that pumps the blood or something like that, right? That.
49:45 Speaker 04 Oh, is it the pressure?
49:47 Speaker 07 In all mammals, right? It, it does, it's sort of vestigial. Is that the word? It's something left over that doesn't really need to be there anymore.
49:55 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:55 Speaker 07 But in us or whatever, in all mammals, it sort of travels up, it doesn't go anywhere, but then goes down to our foot or something like that.
50:02 Speaker 04 Right.
50:02 Speaker 07 There's some sort of, um, very bizarre.
50:04 Speaker 04 Right.
50:05 Speaker 07 Uh, badly designed.
50:07 Speaker 04 So one of these things you don't really need, yeah.
50:09 Speaker 07 Um, but it, it, at one point, when we were sort of a little thing, that it made sense, but now we've evolved. And the giraffe still has this thing.
50:17 Speaker 04 Right.
50:18 Speaker 07 It goes right up its fucking neck.
50:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:20 Speaker 07 All the way back down again.
50:21 Speaker 04 Right.
50:22 Speaker 07 Whereas it just needs to go like from here to here.
50:24 Speaker 04 Right.
50:25 Speaker 07 I can't remember exactly what it was. I remember watching it on, um, Inside Nature's Giants.
50:30 Speaker 04 Oh, wow, okay.
50:31 Speaker 07 Which, uh, I'd love them to bring that back again. That was great. Inside Nature's Giants. I used to love that. Um.
50:38 Speaker 04 So the drawers, I shouldn't have brought up drawers, actually, they do seem quite, no, I mean, not because of that, that was good, but like, I, but they actually do seem like, maybe they're quite tough. I think more with Swan, you know what it is with Swan's, I think we've never really seen them do anything. So we're like, what can they fucking do? They're an enigmatic animal, right? We all, we all have seen their feet.
50:57 Speaker 07 Do you think?
50:58 Speaker 04 And, and it, it doesn't all fit together. We're like, wait a minute, there's this beautiful thing on top, like a bride.
51:04 Speaker 07 Yeah.
51:04 Speaker 04 What's that underneath? Couple of fucking dinosaur feet.
51:06 Speaker 07 Yeah.
51:07 Speaker 04 And so that's weird. And so we think, what else are they hiding?
51:10 Speaker 07 Do you think they've just got really good PR?
51:12 Speaker 04 I think they, I honestly, they're a bit, I think they're a bit like the Soviet Union during the Cold War, where we're like, we're frightened. The Swan's like, don't let them know, we actually haven't fucking got anything. We can't break him as arm.
51:21 Speaker 07 Yeah, yeah.
51:21 Speaker 04 I think it's more like that. I think it's, they've got good PR, they're, and also, less is more.
51:26 Speaker 07 Everyone we can break their arm.
51:28 Speaker 04 PR, like, do you know what I mean? It's like, you don't know anything. Like, the less we know about this person or Swan. Well, I mean, I'd maybe, maybe Banksy's a Swan. Do you know what I mean? That could be, that could be true as well.
51:40 Speaker 07 I think they found out who Banksy was.
51:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, they have, um, I saw, I saw a picture of who he actually is. So, I mean, I, I, so you know, think about, I, I think it's that they are, they appear, they're enigmatic. They are, and this association with the royal family, again, what is it the Queen used to say? You must not let in light upon magic or something like, you don't ever, which I agree with actually.
52:04 Speaker 07 Yeah, don't look behind the curtain sort of thing.
52:06 Speaker 04 That was the correct policy of the Queen.
52:07 Speaker 07 Yeah.
52:08 Speaker 04 She's a wise woman.
52:10 Speaker 07 Yeah.
52:10 Speaker 04 Cause you, cause actually, it's, cause actually, brackets, cause it's completely unjustified.
52:14 Speaker 07 Was she, was she tapping her nose at the same time?
52:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, she was like, um, oh no.
52:20 Speaker 07 Don't, uh.
52:21 Speaker 04 Oh no.
52:21 Speaker 07 You know, ask no questions.
52:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'll tell you no lies. How many palaces have I got? Oh, I can't remember.
52:27 Speaker 07 Oh, um, you've got to ask yourself, oh, you've got to take this job.
52:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah. But, um, but no, so I think, I think it kind of, they, they have this air of mystery. They have this, they're, they're, they appear to be in line to the throne or something. I don't know. They've, they've got this, they're associated with the royal family. And I think that because of that, we think, my God, what, what could they do? Um, and we've never, I mean, I know that, um, Doug says he's done some research.
52:57 Speaker 07 Do you think?
52:57 Speaker 04 But I.
52:58 Speaker 07 Cause they're protected.
52:59 Speaker 04 I'm worried that he's, you know, taking it upon himself to go out probably at night. Reservoirs.
53:06 Speaker 07 Well, be careful, because because they are protected by the.
53:09 Speaker 04 So don't get in over your head, Doug, I'd say.
53:11 Speaker 07 Do you think they're a bit more confident than when they should be?
53:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:15 Speaker 07 So that's why they like rush out of you and stuff if you get too close to the bank.
53:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:18 Speaker 07 They're like, yeah, you want to fucking, well.
53:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:22 Speaker 07 Do you know who our mates with?
53:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:24 Speaker 07 Only the fucking king.
53:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:26 Speaker 07 So if you want to start something, let's go.
53:29 Speaker 04 They're over, yeah, they they think they're untouchable.
53:32 Speaker 07 Yeah.
53:32 Speaker 04 They think their power and their connections will protect them.
53:36 Speaker 07 But I do think they can break your arm.
53:39 Speaker 04 But you still think they can break your arm?
53:40 Speaker 07 They're big and strong. They are strong. They, should we throw it over, I, what do you?
53:45 Speaker 04 I, to be honest, I'm saying, well, first of all, Doug says leg. That seems.
53:49 Speaker 07 I don't think they could break a leg.
53:50 Speaker 04 They can't break a leg.
53:51 Speaker 07 Couldn't break a femur.
53:52 Speaker 04 Can they break an arm? What part of the arm? I mean, how like, maybe this bit?
53:56 Speaker 07 They'd snap your arm, I think, yeah.
53:58 Speaker 04 Maybe this bit, not that bit.
54:00 Speaker 07 Your elbow. The elbow, just snap it right off.
54:03 Speaker 04 I think, I feel like it's a thing that is said to stop people from going up to swans and giving them a hard time. I mean, they they do look like.
54:11 Speaker 07 I'm starting to think that too now.
54:13 Speaker 04 They do look like they're sort of, they. Some creatures look like they are pretty bog standard.
54:21 Speaker 07 Hmm.
54:21 Speaker 04 Whereas the swan looks like it's a little bit of a cut above.
54:24 Speaker 07 A little bit special, isn't it?
54:25 Speaker 04 A little bit special, it's got those angel wings.
54:27 Speaker 07 Yeah.
54:28 Speaker 04 The long sinuous neck.
54:29 Speaker 07 They are pretty, aren't they?
54:30 Speaker 04 They are pretty. Um, the the colour scheme is pretty good, black and white and just the orange. The feet are weird, obviously.
54:39 Speaker 07 The ugly duckling.
54:41 Speaker 04 Swan in the end.
54:41 Speaker 07 He was a swan in the end. Everyone was going, oh, you're ugly, mate.
54:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:44 Speaker 07 Still don't really know, uh, what the moral of that story is, the ugly duckling.
54:48 Speaker 04 It means.
54:49 Speaker 07 Because you tell, you you tell that story to ugly kids. Because you're like, oh, the kid, the other kids at my school would take the piss out of me because I'm ugly. And you go, well, let me tell you about the ugly duckling. He grew up to be a swan.
54:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:00 Speaker 07 And he was better looking than everyone.
55:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:01 Speaker 07 And I.
55:03 Speaker 04 It doesn't work with ugliness. It needs to work, it needs to work with. The ugliness has to be an analogy for something where it would. So for example.
55:12 Speaker 07 But the the the ugly duckling is literal.
55:15 Speaker 04 Oh, because it's a different species?
55:16 Speaker 07 Yeah.
55:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:17 Speaker 07 But the ugly duckling is like literal. It's like, oh, don't you worry, because you'll probably go, don't worry about being ugly now, because you'll probably grow up to be really beautiful.
55:24 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:25 Speaker 07 Look at me.
55:29 Speaker 07 I didn't get my swan moment.
55:30 Speaker 04 Well, this is because it's a different species.
55:33 Speaker 07 When I was an ugly little boy at school.
55:34 Speaker 04 So when you're at school, you've got to be like, I really hope I am actually just a really attractive orangutan.
55:39 Speaker 07 Yeah.
55:40 Speaker 04 I'm just the best looking bear ever.
55:44 Speaker 07 Yeah, stick me in the zoo.
55:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:46 Speaker 07 I'll have my pick of all the females. Anyway.
55:51 Speaker 04 What we, so.
55:52 Speaker 07 I'm gonna leave this up to you, Joe, actually, because I'm now on the fence.
55:57 Speaker 04 I don't think, okay, so to be honest, Doug says, can it break a man's leg?
56:01 Speaker 07 Sure.
56:02 Speaker 04 And other than these, the scenarios that he's kind of illustrated.
56:07 Speaker 07 Yeah, if it was, if you, if it was, if it spoke to you on a, on a ladder, if it was driving a taxi.
56:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, if it was driving a taxi.
56:15 Speaker 07 I'm sure it would, it would struggle and it'd probably do you some damage.
56:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, um, if.
56:21 Speaker 07 If it was performing an operation.
56:23 Speaker 04 If there was a grand piano teetering on the edge of a cliff and you thought, I hope nothing touches that. And then a swan goes, oh.
56:30 Speaker 07 If there was a squadron of armed swans.
56:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:33 Speaker 07 Um.
56:34 Speaker 04 If they were just.
56:34 Speaker 07 But I'll leave it up to you, Joe. You go.
56:36 Speaker 04 I don't think, I think it's fact, um, what do we say? Oh, fact off, I think. I think it's fact off. I think it's fact off. They can't break your leg.
56:45 Speaker 07 All right. Shall we throw it over?
56:46 Speaker 04 And I don't, I don't really believe they can break your arm.
56:48 Speaker 07 I think it's quite act that we, that we, um, did we throw it over to Queen Lily May?
56:53 Speaker 04 Queen Lily May. They're your creature. Yeah, I don't like them, to be fair. I don't like them much. Got them now. So from my research, and I will say this doesn't seem to be a lot of medical research, however, from my research, it seems to indicate that they're not strong enough to break a fully grown adult's arms or legs. However, if you are, have particularly brittle bones or you're a child, you might be more at risk, but the risk seems more from.
57:20 Speaker 03 The fact that they could push you over and make you fall.
57:23 Speaker 07 Yeah.
57:23 Speaker 03 Rather than the wings are snapping your arms.
57:26 Speaker 07 Right.
57:26 Speaker 04 Well, well, there you go. And what are these swans doing attacking poor little brittle children?
57:31 Speaker 07 Yeah.
57:32 Speaker 04 Do you know what I mean? So basically what's happening, pick on someone your own size.
57:35 Speaker 07 Yeah.
57:35 Speaker 04 Stop going after our old and our, you know, flaky kids, whatever, whatever it was. Powdery boned infants.
57:42 Speaker 07 Yeah.
57:43 Speaker 04 Oh no, it's the old, old people are old, wasn't it?
57:44 Speaker 07 Old people are old.
57:46 Speaker 04 And they are, old people are old people always. And so, yeah, I, I would, so.
57:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, I, I, I think, I think I was right.
57:59 Speaker 07 Hmm.
57:59 Speaker 04 I think I was right.
58:00 Speaker 03 If we were talking about adults, absolutely.
58:02 Speaker 04 Yeah. I mean, children.
58:06 Speaker 04 Let's leave them out of it, right? Let's, please, I'm collecting for charity.
58:09 Speaker 07 Yeah, come on.
58:11 Speaker 07 Um, right, that's that then.
58:13 Speaker 04 So that's that. So, so Doug, um, Doug, don't, but do you want to do any more research?
58:18 Speaker 07 Yeah, I think, I think we've helped you out there, Doug.
58:20 Speaker 04 I think you need to move on to geese.
58:23 Speaker 07 Christ, I've got to do my fact.
58:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
58:25 Speaker 07 Oh, Jesus.
58:26 Speaker 04 We're, we're also, we, we are running quite long here. So let's, let's, um.
58:31 Speaker 03 Longer than a giraffe's neck, am I right?
58:33 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, absolutely.
58:34 Speaker 07 Oh, Lily May, can you quickly look up that thing that goes up the giraffe's neck and comes back down again? Just so I know what it is. Um, if you'd like us to fact check something, head to our episode's description for all the ways that you can get in touch. And there's a mobile ways, there's WhatsApp, there's the socials, there's this special form.
58:50 Speaker 04 My, my far, my favourite by far is the form.
58:54 Speaker 07 Love that. I love that we've got a form.
58:56 Speaker 04 It's great.
58:56 Speaker 07 Can you just fill out, fill in, fill in this form, please?
58:59 Speaker 04 Red tape. I'm very pro red tape or more red tape.
59:02 Speaker 07 Have you managed to get anything there, Lily May?
59:04 Speaker 03 I'm trying to find out what it is.
59:06 Speaker 07 Some sort of vein or some sort of.
59:09 Speaker 04 It's an, so it's this thing where it's, so for absolutely no reason.
59:13 Speaker 07 It goes all the way up and just come all the way back down again.
59:16 Speaker 04 That's good. But I like, it's like a sort of, um, like an old branch line that they'd never bothered to close down.
59:22 Speaker 07 Yeah.
59:23 Speaker 04 And I'm all for that because that was when they shut down them branch lines, we lost a part of our, the fabric of our.
59:30 Speaker 07 Yeah.
59:30 Speaker 04 Didn't we?
59:31 Speaker 07 Well, um, shall I move on to my fact later anyway while you're looking at that? Yeah, let me, let me look away. So, facts about Dracula, my fact. So I've gone, I've taken retro to its logical conclusion.
59:42 Speaker 04 Yes.
59:42 Speaker 07 I've gone to the original Dracula.
59:45 Speaker 04 Oh, I know who this is.
59:47 Speaker 07 The, which is, which is what I thought you'd go for as well. The son, son of dragon.
59:51 Speaker 04 Yes, this is Vlad.
59:53 Speaker 07 Vlad the Impaler.
59:54 Speaker 04 Vlad the Impaler.
59:55 Speaker 07 Who ruled, uh, Wallachia?
59:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
59:59 Speaker 07 Wallachia?
59:59 Speaker 04 I've been quite sure how you pronounce that.
1:00:01 Speaker 07 Um.
1:00:01 Speaker 04 Wallachia?
1:00:02 Speaker 07 What, modern day Romania in the 15th century. He did a good job of keeping, what was it, the Ottomans or something at bay?
1:00:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, I think he'd been captured by the Ottomans when he was a small boy.
1:00:12 Speaker 07 Yeah, they brought him up and stuff.
1:00:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, he seems like he was, had quite a traumatic youth. Lots of brothers and cousins being killed.
1:00:21 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:00:22 Speaker 04 And or trying to kill him.
1:00:24 Speaker 07 But his dad, um, his dad kept fucking him over, sort of, or something. He kept, like, attacking the Ottomans. So the Ottomans were like, right, we're gonna take, I think they took him and his brother.
1:00:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:38 Speaker 07 And they were like, oh, we're gonna take you, we're, we're, right, we're keeping your kids now, all right? We've got your ki-, I've got your kids.
1:00:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:44 Speaker 07 I've got your kids, Dan, right?
1:00:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:46 Speaker 07 And, uh, so do you wanna stop attacking us? Because otherwise we're gonna do something to your kids. Yeah, I think he still.
1:00:54 Speaker 04 Carried on.
1:00:55 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:00:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:56 Speaker 07 Like, his dad didn't give a fuck.
1:00:57 Speaker 04 Very much the, um, the Homer Simpson where the guy's trying to sell Homer a burglar alarm and it's getting a bit expensive. And the guy says, um, but surely you can't put a price on your children's safety. And Homer says, well, I wouldn't have thought, thought so either, but here we are.
1:01:09 Speaker 07 Here we are, yeah.
1:01:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:10 Speaker 07 I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are. Um.
1:01:12 Speaker 04 He carried on. Well, you know, committed to it, so I mean, you can't, you can't stop just because.
1:01:17 Speaker 07 He was ruling for a bit and then he didn't for a bit.
1:01:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:20 Speaker 07 They were constantly, I think, wh-, this part of, uh, of Europe was a sort of very important part because it was like a buffer between the rest of Europe and the Ottomans, I think. I might be really mangling this up. This isn't much, my, this is just sort of the nonsense that I think I know about.
1:01:40 Speaker 04 If you're in between two, two big powers, you, you never have a good time.
1:01:44 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:01:45 Speaker 04 You never have, you don't want to be stuck between like Germany and Russia.
1:01:48 Speaker 07 But he didn't take any shit.
1:01:49 Speaker 04 Always a nightmare.
1:01:50 Speaker 07 Yeah, he didn't take any shit.
1:01:51 Speaker 04 Doesn't sound like he did.
1:01:52 Speaker 07 He didn't take any shit whatsoever. And in a, in, in, he's sometimes seen as a national hero in Romania. For defending his land against the Ottoman Empire. Yeah, if I just read a bit more of my own fact. Um, he, uh, but his most infamous punishment.
1:02:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:09 Speaker 07 Was impalement, where victims were placed on a long wooden stake. Loads of spikes would line them up, would, if he was trying to, he would bring them, like with them to battles and stuff and sh- and line them up. If he was like besieging a, a city or something, he'd be like, listen, do you wanna?
1:02:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:29 Speaker 07 Knock this on the head now.
1:02:30 Speaker 04 Does that look cool?
1:02:31 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:02:31 Speaker 04 Yeah?
1:02:31 Speaker 07 Do I?
1:02:32 Speaker 04 Does he, does he look cool?
1:02:34 Speaker 07 Does he really look cool?
1:02:36 Speaker 04 Does he look cool?
1:02:37 Speaker 07 Um, but he, uh, yeah, he would impale a load of people. Um, one story claims an invading army turned back after seeing a forest of the impaled.
1:02:47 Speaker 04 Bloody hell.
1:02:49 Speaker 07 Um.
1:02:49 Speaker 04 Well, in a way, what he was saying is, I'm not gonna throw good money after bad. I mean, I've, I've, I've already killed this number of people.
1:02:57 Speaker 07 But.
1:02:57 Speaker 04 I'm not gonna kill anymore, because you've turned.
1:02:59 Speaker 07 Well, I'm gonna ask you, Joe, as violent and horrific as that is, uh, do the ends justify the means? Because as his punishments were so harsh as a ruler, um, it was, you know, to try and reduce crime and corruption and stuff. Um, it was reported that theft nearly disappeared during his rule.
1:03:20 Speaker 04 Wow.
1:03:20 Speaker 07 People just didn't bother anymore. Like, fuck that.
1:03:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, I mean, you, you probably, you probably would stop if. If that was, if that was the punishment.
1:03:30 Speaker 07 But.
1:03:30 Speaker 04 I mean, what's that place where like, there's no chewing gum on the streets because you get imprisoned if you put, I think it might be Singapore.
1:03:36 Speaker 07 Is that right?
1:03:37 Speaker 04 And everyone's like, there's no chewing gum on the streets though. And you're like, yeah, but.
1:03:41 Speaker 07 It is a problem.
1:03:42 Speaker 04 Really worth it.
1:03:43 Speaker 07 Oh, it is, man. It's a real big problem.
1:03:45 Speaker 04 Yeah, but.
1:03:46 Speaker 07 Was it latex or something chewing gum's made out of?
1:03:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:03:49 Speaker 07 You can't get that stuff off the, the ground. I don't know who's throwing it on the ground anyway.
1:03:53 Speaker 04 If you were a mum and your son was imprisoned for putting chewing gum on the floor, you might think that's a bit of a bigger problem.
1:03:59 Speaker 07 But I'd go, ah, well, if I was, if it was my kid, I'd go, don't put any chewing gum on the floor. Cause you know what they get, you know what happens if you do.
1:04:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, but then kids.
1:04:08 Speaker 07 It's a simple thing not to do. I get away, I can, I, I'd probably.
1:04:12 Speaker 04 Listen, I hate littering. I genuinely, I cannot bear it. It's so selfish.
1:04:16 Speaker 07 If I was put in charge, that's the kind of thing that I would go after. I'd make that like top of the thing. Apart from all the important stuff, I'd go like. To you, it really fucking winds me up. Chewing gum on the pavement.
1:04:27 Speaker 04 Well, I suppose you, maybe it's low hanging fruit.
1:04:30 Speaker 07 And I feel like it's something you'd be able to tackle quite easily.
1:04:33 Speaker 04 It'd be a small thing. Can you just change the recipe of chewing gum? So it's not, you know.
1:04:39 Speaker 07 I don't know.
1:04:39 Speaker 04 Bring in Wonka. Do the special one that tastes like a roast dinner or something.
1:04:42 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:04:43 Speaker 04 While you're at it. If you're gonna, if you're gonna, if you're gonna do it, like do that.
1:04:46 Speaker 07 But by the way, the reason why I was talking about Vlad the Impaler then is because he was the original Dracula, uh, which does translate to his son, son of dragon. His father Vlad the second was Dracul. He was dragon, Dracula, um, uh, went son of the dragon. Um, but that's what, um, Bam Stroker, uh,
1:05:09 Speaker 07 based the character on, I believe.
1:05:12 Speaker 04 And it's good that Bam Stroker actually found time to write a book in between doing, you know, going down hills and shopping trolleys and giving himself paper cuts on purpose. And it's just.
1:05:21 Speaker 07 But I do think, I, I always think that, um, a good fact ends with, I believe.
1:05:26 Speaker 04 I believe, yeah. Yeah. Uh, anyway, I, I think so. Anyway.
1:05:31 Speaker 07 Yeah.
1:05:32 Speaker 04 I M O.
1:05:32 Speaker 07 Right.
1:05:33 Speaker 04 I M H O.
1:05:34 Speaker 07 Joe, I think we, I think we should, um, I think we should, I think we should fact rap.
1:05:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, let's fact rap.
1:05:39 Speaker 07 Uh, I'm all fact out. What have we learned today? We learnt that the bloke that directed one of the first Dracula films, his skull got nicked.
1:05:46 Speaker 04 Yep.
1:05:46 Speaker 07 Um, we learnt that Dracula was based on Vlad the Impaler.
1:05:49 Speaker 04 Well, so again, if you.
1:05:51 Speaker 07 Could be.
1:05:52 Speaker 04 If you did it, or, you know, give it back.
1:05:54 Speaker 07 And that, um, and that swans can't break your arm unless you're really old or young or brittle.
1:05:59 Speaker 04 And if, and if they do, shame on them.
1:06:01 Speaker 07 Yeah. Um, we'll be back next week armed with more fact chats and vamp, vampiric bats. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you, or whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us about by emailing us. Hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822 034330. You can follow us on social media.
1:06:22 Speaker 04 This is the sound of somebody leaving.
1:06:26 Speaker 07 Well, we're saying we're coming.
1:06:27 Speaker 04 Wait till we.
1:06:27 Speaker 07 No, we're coming.
1:06:30 Speaker 07 We're coming to the end now. We're coming to the end now. So might as well leave the studio.
1:06:34 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:06:35 Speaker 07 Our social media is at joeandjamespod and you can head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. That was a podcast. We'll see you next week. Goodbye.
1:06:44 Speaker 04 Bye. If you haven't already left, bye. To those that are still here, goodbye.
1:06:50 Speaker 04 John James, fucked up!
1:07:00 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone. And I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them.
1:07:13 Speaker 04 Everybody, listen up!
1:07:15 Speaker 03 Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
1:07:30 Speaker 00 At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
1:08:01 Speaker 06 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
1:08:03 Speaker 05 And I'm Marco Burchella.
1:08:05 Speaker 06 And this is Boots Off.
1:08:08 Speaker 05 We are friends who have spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
1:08:16 Speaker 06 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
1:08:23 Speaker 05 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
1:08:26 Speaker 06 The adventures that lead to adversity.
1:08:28 Speaker 05 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
1:08:31 Speaker 06 Listen every Thursday. Just search for Boots Off.
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