Joe Thomas Flips His Lid

Joe has had an incident with a jar of Marmite and the lads fact check if they used to have live sheep in operating theatres! Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:32Speaker 01

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• 1:05Speaker 02

  So you turned up, you're now late.

• 1:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  You've got your special comfy walking trainers on.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. Now, what's happened is that I'm actually staying at my mum and dad's house.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  And my mum, who is a wonderful woman, who I adore.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 1:22Speaker 03

  And is like unfit as well. Let's do the, let's do the joke.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Sexy, yeah.

• 1:28Speaker 03

  Sexy, but she's not just sexy.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  No, intelligent as well.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Intelligent as well. She's got a girl up here as well as down there.

• 1:37Speaker 03

  So look, let me carry that by saying, she's, I adore her. She's a wonderful woman. She's a brilliant human being. And also, I mean, I think crucially, she's incredibly helpful with my daughter. Just, and I'm aware that she was got up early by my daughter this morning. Notwithstanding all that, my mum has this habit of not putting the lids back on jars properly. She just rests it on top of the jar, which to me is literally a booby trap. Because you pick the jar up by the lid and the fucking jar falls on the ground.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Like, I'm not saying you had to put the lid back on, leave it off. Just leave it off.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  One or the other.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  One or the other.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  So I was making myself some marmite on toast.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  I picked up the jar of marmite, whoops, smashed down, straight on the ground, straight on the ground. Picked up by the lid, jar smashed down. Um, then.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  What did you do next?

• 2:29Speaker 03

  What I did next was I decided to, um, uh, I felt as though I had an itch on the inside of this foot. So I just scratched, you know, when you scratch the, you scratch your feet together like that?

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  As I scratched it, I realised that I was, I just pushed a bit. Actually, no, I didn't realise. I scratched it and I was like, oh, that hurts. And I realised that there was a bit of glass on my foot and I rubbed that. And actually it had gone in. Then I rubbed it again and this time.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  Just to make sure.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  No, because I thought, I thought I'd get it off. I thought I'd like, you know, when you just get it in, I thought I'd just rub it off.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  But because it was already quite far in, it just pushed it further in. So then I had this bit of glass on my foot and I had to literally be like, like pull it out.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  It really hurts. Um, and then, um, my little brother, um, uh, he was there and he said, you need to be careful because you've got, um, you've got, there's marmite on the glass and marmite has got yeast in it. So it's a bacteria. So essentially, what I've done is I've got some bacteria on a shard of glass.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Stabbed it into my foot, pulled it out and come here. So that's, um, and I've treated it as best I can. It looks pretty, um, it's quite sort of Battle of the Somme under there. Like it looks, it looks quite sort of like unfortunate.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  A bit grim.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Like, yeah, I didn't, I thought this war was going to be a laugh sort of thing. But I'm really, it did, it did hold me up.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  It's been done by Christmas.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I thought we'd done by Christmas, um, which presumably you thought about this podcast record.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  I thought so, yeah.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  You thought we'd done by Christmas. It's not going to be, and, um, so yeah, that's what's, that's what's happened.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  But I'm really, and I'm very, very sorry I'm late, but I do think that is, and I'm hobbling around. I can't really.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  I, yeah, I saw you hobbling in.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  I did, I have actually, I'd say it was a double tragedy because I've actually bought a new pair of, I know that our, our audience is primarily interested in whether my shoes are clean. So they're over there, they're in a bag, they're, they're little Axel Arigato.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  But I've just, I don't want to put my feet into them because I'm, I just, it's going to hurt.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  I wanted you to wear the mum injury.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  You said, wear these, yeah. So these are knackered. I mean, can I just get a pass on these? Because.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  I think we can let you off this week.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  You're going to let me off, right?

• 4:45Speaker 02

  It's a foot injury. There's a used foot injury.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, so basically I'm just hoping that it doesn't, um, get infected.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Who's had all the penicillin?

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, what's he called? He got knob rot off some tart. That's a crucial line. I can't remember. Oh.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Is it Parkins or something?

• 5:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. Mike Parky, sir. He got knob rot off some tart.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, if I, um, do show signs of sepsis, then obviously, well, it's a bit like, you know, last week you had your, your laxative waiting to happen.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  And this week we're also waiting on something happening to me. So we'll see. What are the signs of sepsis? You, you go, I don't think I'm going to get, I did, I washed it out thoroughly and I applied some Savlon, which is an antibacterial.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  You've got to get, get it early, sepsis.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, you can. Well, we'll finish the, we'll finish the record.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  We'll get, yeah, I mean, this is more important.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Then I'll drive back to my mum's and then if it's still, if I'm still alive, um, I'll deal with it then.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  But, um, yeah, no, it's, um.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  Who cleaned up the shards?

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Uh, I honestly don't know who cleaned them up. I think it was, it was, it was probably, all my brothers are at home at the moment. They're all at my, all at my parents' house.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Did you carry on making the toast?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  No, I abandoned the toast.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  I had the butter on it.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Because it's just.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  There was nothing to beat, there was nothing, there was no.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  The itching of the foot is the, is where you've gone wrong. You've smashed the glass and you've got, you've smashed a glass all over you and you've gone, oh, my foot itches.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I know.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Instead of reacting to what you should have done.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  And then having known that I'd rubbed it in the first time, I then thought I could get it off by rub, by rubbing it again.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  And then I pushed it further. And, um, it's like, I've got, I've got quite a bit of history of getting jagged things, like just stuck in my body. Like I once got a massive splinter in my, in my calf, I guess. And, and again, I got it just from like brushing past with this kind of pine chest.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  It's getting at my mum and dad's house. And like, I, I just kind of walked past it and just sort of scraped past it. And a huge bit just came off and was just in my leg. I had to go to hospital on that occasion.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  I mean, maybe I should have gone to hospital today, but I'm.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Might have, yeah. You should be fine. What's going to happen?

• 6:59Speaker 03

  What's going to happen? Who cares really? Who cares?

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  Who gives a shit?

• 7:04Speaker 02

  It gives a shit.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Just, just like, whatever. Do you know what I mean?

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  Like, I'm 42.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Well, that's it. I was on the phone to Boopie yesterday.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  It's not exactly 27. There's not a 42 club, is there?

• 7:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  If you die at 42, people are like.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  I was on the phone to Boopie yesterday. I'm 40 next year. And I was just like, I think I'm gonna, um.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Get some health cover.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  For the family.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Um, quite reasonable, I thought.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Got one of my children for free.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Which was, I'm not big, this isn't a Boopie sponsored.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  No, but if you, no, but if you.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  But I just thought that was really good. I've got one of my kids and I'm just thinking, like, I woke up today. I mean, it doesn't start for another four days, actually.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  So I've told everyone in the house, don't get sick.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Don't go out.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  For the next four days.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Masks on.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  But I might just rinse it with him.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  I might just send him to the doctors every other week and just be like, this is all free.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Well, if you're real, say that he's got it and then.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Then I'm getting, then I'm really getting my money's worth.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Well, no, it's like, if you insure, insure early, you get a good deal. Because they're like, well, you're fine. You're basically fine.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  I did, to be fair.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Well, you can't insure is when you're 98 years old.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  To be fair, I looked, I looked into health insurance and stuff years ago.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  And it was like, oh, I've got to make a phone call. I'll leave it.

• 8:22Speaker 03

  I'm, it's, yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  I'll leave it.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  It's revenge of the nerds again. It's like the people who are, the people who are well organised. Everything's revenge of the nerds. It's like we, you can never get into a restaurant because we're all fully booked.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  People booked weeks ago. Who's doing that?

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Fucking losers.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  But yeah, they've.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, our holiday cost half as much as yours. We booked it two years ago.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, well done.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  That was my mum.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  What a genuinely weird thing to do.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  My mum always used to, um, book the holiday like way in advance and then pay it off throughout the year.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  It's just, it's hard because there's no anticipatory pleasure then. You have to basically book something when, I tried to do it one year. I tried to book something, I think I tried to book like the, like the poshest restaurant. Like, I think it was like a Gordon Ramsay restaurant or something. It had like three million stars. And I tried to, I tried to get up on the morning that bookings opened. It was almost like months in advance.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. Did you not go, did you not sort of go, do you, have you ever seen, do you like The Inbetweeners?

• 9:22Speaker 03

  No, I don't like doing that. I don't like.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  I don't like doing that.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  I don't think I've ever done that. I don't.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  I wouldn't have the guts. I did it as a joke once.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's why I don't do it. It's because I'm not brave enough.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  I was trying to get a table at T G I Fridays in Glasgow with Claire. And it was, it was like rammed. It was like lunchtime. It was rammed and uh. And I was just trying to wind Claire up. I was just trying to make her angry and they were going, yeah, you're about an hour waiting for a table. I went. Do you like the in betweeners? And Claire just went, stop. She just grabbed me and went, no, don't start that nonsense. Um, I just don't think it would work. What, what are they supposed to say? Yeah, I'm a big fan of the in betweeners. I can't, but there are only so many tables.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Drag people out, are they?

• 10:10Speaker 02

  But I do. I do assume there's a special.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  That I'm not privy to. I'm not in that club. We've never been, all us boys from the in betweeners, we've never been let into the. I don't know, this celebrity club.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  We're not, we're not.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Where they, I don't know what, what they all do. They've all got stuff. I remember I was chatting to someone before I had my first kid. Who's, I won't mention any names, but he's quite a big star. And um, and he quite very kindly, he was talking to me about a job. He wanted me to do some work with him.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  And he was, reached out to me and it was, I was like sort of blown away. And he, and then we just started talking about life and he's like, how are you getting on? I was like, well, I've got this kid turning up any, any moment now. And he was going, yeah, there's this great uh nanny service. Um, I'll give you the number. And um, they're, they're the go to guys. Everyone goes to those, to this, to this um nanny child thing.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  And I was just like, um, thanks. Uh, but I knew at that point in my life, like I wouldn't be able to afford it.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, sometimes really, really rich people give you advice where they're like.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  It's called gatekeeping. That's what it's called. There are these things that, that people off the T V and stuff. You're meant to be, you're meant to be aware of, but I've never, never been shown behind the curtain.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Hannah never locked her phone. So it's constantly fucking calling people and occasionally, and occasionally it's like calling people where we're like. Well, that's like, that's quite a complex person to have called, isn't it? That, that's somebody with whom, you know, there's, there's, you can't just, that's weird.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  And, and I'm just not, I'm, I'm basically, I'm not allowed to ask Hannah why she won't lock her phone. She just won't lock her phone. I want to say, why don't you lock your phone? I'm like, just do that. And she's like, I don't know how to, I don't know how to do that. I come like, there's a, there's a button on the side. There's a button on the side. Just shut up.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  It does sound.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  It's just like, what the fuck? You're not allowed to mention it. You're not. And it's the same with this jar thing. Like, it's not, my, my dad, my dad, he lives.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Chain reaction, isn't it?

• 12:25Speaker 03

  The problem. And he just, he just like, was literally like, yeah, you have to check the jars in this house. Don't put them up by the lid. I was like. Bro, defeated by it. Just defeated by it. It's just like, yeah, she does do that. I've just, I've just worked around it.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  You just need to learn to live with it. That's it.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  I honestly think there should be a sign on the door, like saying, dear guests.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  We don't put the jars on.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Thomas.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  The jars might be loose.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Just before you come in.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Jar lids might be loose.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. If you don't want to get sepsis, just be aware that in this house, for reasons that you're, it's honestly, it's like it's some sort of touchy cultural taboo. Like I'm not allowed to bring it up.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Cause it's like, Joe, um, no, oh, no, we don't say that. We don't say that.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  When you were saying.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  She doesn't put the lids on. That's that. Right?

• 13:10Speaker 02

  When you were saying, when you were confronting your mum about this, could you see your dad just backing out the room?

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. He's, yeah, honestly, yeah. He's, he's just, he's like, no, don't bring it up. Do not bring it up. Do not bring it up. It's a can of worms. It's toxic. It's a toxic issue. It's toxic.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  It's toxic.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  Don't go near it.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  And I went to my mum, can we not just put that? And she was like, yeah, people are always saying that to me. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Oh, here we fucking go again with the lit, with the jar lids.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Oh, the reason people are always saying it to you is because you haven't fucking stopped fucking doing it.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Right. I need to quickly mention something. I just remembered I've got.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  As I say, I adore her. She's a wonderful woman, but that is madness.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Mrs. Thomas, you're wonderful and, and sexy and fit and sexy. We've established.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Also sepsisy.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Um, there's a book called Shitty Breaks.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  Oh, right. Yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Have you said, do you know, do you know about this?

• 14:02Speaker 03

  He did one in Chelmsford.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Do you know about this?

• 14:05Speaker 03

  I've, I've seen it around.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  He said that he bumped into you at some point.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think, yes, I, well, I think, has he bumped?

• 14:11Speaker 02

  He bumped into me.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  If he has, and I can't remember. I think he might have reached out to me on Instagram.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Bumped into me in London.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Shit at Instagram. I'm really shit at Instagram.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  I'm now fulfilling this obligation that I've now got.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  There's a book, I think his name is Ben. He gave me a note in the street and said, I don't want to bother you, but I've got a book. Please let me know if you'd like a copy. I don't read books, um, but some bloke called Ben's written a book called Shitty Breaks.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  I know what it is actually. He basically, so.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  It's a celebration of sort of.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  It's a sort of unbelievable.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Cause it's obviously city breaks.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I don't, maybe it's not.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  But it's, it's talking about cities and towns that probably get overlooked, that are still special in their own way.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Special in their own way. So, so don't be for, although it says, he's not really saying that. I think he's, he's gone for that because it's a pun.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Which is of instinct, I understand.

• 15:07Speaker 02

  We appreciate.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  He's not really having a go at them. He's sort of saying, actually, you know what? It's quite interesting to go to. Uh, well, Chelmsford. Yeah. Like he's actually saying it's, uh, you know, it, it's, it actually does have quite a nice, interesting cathedral, for example. You wouldn't have thought that. You know, et cetera.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  I just know Chelmsford from growing up in Essex and it being, um, if it was gonna be a, a birthday. Or a, a special night out with the lads.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Instead of going into Romford, um, you'd go into Chelmsford.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Is that true?

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Cause it was meant to be.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Above Romford.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  It was when I was growing up. If you met someone from Chelmsford, you were like, ooh, hello.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Ooh. Sorry. But now I've learned that they don't put the fucking lids on the jars.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  No, it's a nightmare. Well, that's the thing. It's a very, um, it's like a thrilling, it's sort of like fantasy eklar. Like it's dangerous.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  You might get poisoned, but at the same time, you know, what a, what a rush.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  I mean, the main thing about Chelmsford is the, uh, is the hockey team, but uh.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Yes, of course. Chance of cheating.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Oh, and I've got news about that.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Have you?

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I, I, I need to wait, I need to wait for my, for something to arrive and we, we can talk about that. Okay. Dragged you into this nonsense as well.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  I love it. But yeah, so, well, yeah, so that's interesting. So, yeah, I mean, did you go to, um. Did you go to Duke's or Zeus? That was.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that rings a bell.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Zeus.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  I think, I think I went to Chelmsford once.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Big model of, um, the god Zeus.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  Over the door, like holding up the ceiling, holding it up. Um, and then, so Zeus was the kind of, um.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Sort of the junior option essentially. Like if you weren't eighteen, try Zeus.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Oh, you could go there. It was under eighteen's night.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, no, just they were a bit more, they were a bit more lax.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, you talk about it.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  More like, and then at one point they, I think they changed it to Duke's Genesis.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  So a rebirth.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're always rebranding, rebranding clubs. I remember time in Romford. And then I think it was Time and Envy. I don't actually, I can't remember the actual.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  And Envy.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  It was Time, then Time and Envy, then just Envy.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  And then it turned into something else completely.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Sort of themes, aren't they? Themes.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  But I never had a.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  What's your book about? Well, it's about time and envy. Maybe just envy.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  But I used to go to pubs.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Time, actually.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  I used to go to pubs and clubs and stuff till I was eighteen and it was never a problem. I think the, I think there was a government crackdown, which I, I think. I don't know if I should say this out loud. I think kids these days could possibly have, because they're so strict on I D. I get I D'd more. Since I turned eighteen than I did before.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  And I think, um. I think there's a possibility that kids might end up having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol because of it. Because it's like, you turn eighteen, it's like, fucking out. And then the doors open. It's like, well, we can go mental now.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, I think, I feel like, so like one example, if you were to contrast like, um, like France. With the U S, like when I used to go to holiday, go on holiday to France, I think you could buy beer when you were sixteen, but you can buy spirits when you're eighteen. And I feel like they have a more kind of, it's socialized a little bit more.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  And in America, it's mental. You're not allowed it at all till you're twenty one or is it even higher in some?

• 18:49Speaker 02

  I, I.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  But you're like, but because of that, like when you do find, you get it, you're like, fucking hell, quick, quick, quick. Get it into my body now. Get it in. And it's just like, well, that's not really, as you say, a healthy relationship to alcohol.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  But I do, um, so sometimes when I do like cameo videos.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Um, like sometimes I do one for some guy who's turning twenty one.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  And they're celebrating in Florida. Or, or no, they're turning twenty.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  And they're celebrating in Florida. I'm like, you can't even have a fucking drink on your birthday, mate. God.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  You fucked it. Why have you gone to America on your twentieth birthday?

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Yeah. It does seem, it does seem a bit, it seems a bit high.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  It seems a bit high.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  It's a bit high, but uh, keep it legal and be safe.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  But yeah, well, so anyway, that's, um.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Is it hurting? Are you in pain right now?

• 19:41Speaker 03

  It is hurting, yeah. Because it went in, I actually had a, this foot has a little cut. That's now fine. That's got a big plaster on it. That's okay. The one where I rubbed it in and then rubbed it in again. I could tell that it had gone through all the skin and had actually gone into like the muscle of the foot. And I think that's why that one's still hurting.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  You'll be all right. How big's, how big's the?

• 20:08Speaker 02

  It's about a centimeter.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  Probably more like eight millimeters.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Just under a centimeter.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  Just under a centimeter. It's probably all right. I'm not, I'm just not a fan of this yeast thing. Don't want yeast in there.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, the yeast thing's a bit of a worry, isn't it?

• 20:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, because I've only just got over a yeast infection on my, um, I'm quite prone to it on my shoulders.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  But yeah, go and check out Shitty Breaks.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  By someone, I think, I think they're called Ben Aitken, Aitken. Ben Aitken.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  He also says that I'm a legend.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Anything about me?

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Just that, um, maybe the book's more for you. It does say that. Maybe one for Joe.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Wow, there you go.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Let us know if you buy a copy of Shitty Breaks.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Very nice.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Um, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up, a podcast loosely based on facts. It's more about the chats.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Yes, it is.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Um, if you do want to get in touch with us, our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. Um, our WhatsApp is 07822034330, or you can message us on socials at joandjamespod. Um, maybe let us know if you've ever got marmite.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  Yeah. Has anyone ever got any kind of poisoning from the bacteria that's in the yeast in marmite?

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Just let me know. Let me know soon, actually, because it'll be too late by the time you hear this.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, you'll be gone, won't you?

• 21:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Um, what?

• 21:38Speaker 03

  I just want my face. I won't mind if I get my face on the back of a jar of marmite, like on a cigarette packet where they have the, literally the dead guy.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Well, it'd be a picture of your foot, wouldn't it?

• 21:47Speaker 03

  My foot.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Of your gangrenous foot.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Think it's not too late to stop.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  You can watch all our episodes in full on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.

• 22:06Speaker 01

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• 22:36Speaker 00

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Twelve celebrities, one Don and cold, hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where 12 celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to $250,000. Watch the new Hulu original series, The Mob, premiering October 26th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 23:09Speaker 04

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• 23:42Speaker 03

  Okay, you've been sending in some real Fact Up stuff for us to discuss. Uh, and this is a story that's been subtitled Theft.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Um, and it's a story from Chris and, um, and here it is. Being the youngest in my office at a 10 to 36, the radio station of choice is Radio 2. Okay, a sort of a barber's favourite, Radio 2. It's like, I quite like Radio 2.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Radio, yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Well, I'm quite old, there you go. Um, I only half listened to it, so I'm not sure what the segment is. But on the Vernon Kay Show, he often throws to a woman who presents him with a fact. Here are three, here are three facts I've heard this week. Giraffes have the same number of neck bones as humans. Okay, fair enough. So a few people are talking about this one. It must be quite a common conversational piece, I thought to myself. A day or so later, I heard, a day or so later, I hear, a day on Venus is longer than a year on Venus.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  This aroused my suspicions, but again, I just thought, hmm, must just be a coincidence. I see now.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  However, today's fact was VW sells more sausages than anything else. Well, that's unbelievable.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  This was the last straw for me. I think you need to open a Spygate-style investigation on the Radio 2 researchers because we are getting into plagiarism territory here, surely? Well, yeah, just, just a bit.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Chris.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Or maybe Vernon Kay is just a massive fan of the world up.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Which, you know, that's okay as well.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, of course.

• 25:03Speaker 03

  Um, and then he's put Dogship Pod, five stars.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a good.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  So that's absolutely fair. Well, the VW one is.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I need names. I want to know who this mysterious woman is.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  Then we find out her name.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  And then we start doing a little Wagatha Christie.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Style thing where we just give her, no one else, some, it's gonna take, I don't, I'm not sure how we're gonna do it, but we just give her misinformation.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  We just give her a fact that's definitely not true, so that we know that she's heard it.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Then we sit around.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Well, if we're trying to make it stand out, we should give her a fact that actually is true.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  No, no, because I want to make her look foolish as well if she's, if she's, um.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, this woman.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  A woman.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, nothing wrong with them, but we need to, um, we need to, uh.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  We need to catch her. We need to catch her with a pants down.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  Say

• 25:56Speaker 03

  the sausage VW one, that's the.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Well, when they said about the giraffe thing, I was like, oh yeah, we were talking about something similar.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's funny is in that one, I'd just forgotten. I was like, yes, fine.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, but we were, as soon as I heard the giraffe with the neck bone thing, I was like, oh, you know, what were we talking about?

• 26:11Speaker 03

  The Wagatha Christie thing was funny because obviously that's a brilliant pun or whatever.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  That's unbelievable, yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, Wagatha Christie. It's an incredible coinage, but like, it, it was used as like the, like newsreaders were going, the Wagatha Christie trial wrapped up today.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's weird.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  That's not what it's called. You can't, there has to be some.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  It's weird when serious people start, start getting on the bandwagon with silly shit. We've got a message from Daniel, who via the Fact Up form, his message is subtitled Mushrooms. Um, here it is. Daniel from Los Angeles here. Love the pod. I wanted to share this with you. If eaten raw or undercooked, the Lanmao, Lanmao?

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Lanmoe?

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Lanmoe.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Or Lanmao?

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Asiatica.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  My first instinct was Lanmao.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  The Lanmao.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  Asiatica.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  Asiatica mushroom. Uh, can cause lily, lilliputian.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Lilliputian, yeah, lilliputian.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Oh, Daniel, you're fucking killing me here, mate. Uh, hallucinations where people see hundreds, maybe thousands of tiny two-inch humanoids. The mushroom creates a wildly specific and consistent effect across different people, with over 90% of those affected, affected reporting miniature figures like gnomes, elves or clowns, climbing furniture, marching and interacting with the environment.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Marching's good.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Recent studies have sequenced its genome, but still haven't identified the exact chemical pathway causing these visions, leaving scientists entirely puzzled by its neurological effects. Um, lilliputian hallucinations, the term is named after the tiny inhabitants of the island of Lily, put in the classic novel Gulliver's Travels. Yeah, I love that story, Gulliver's Travels. There used to be, I don't know whether it was the BBC or ITV in the nineties, around Easter, they, it was like a three-part Gulliver's Travels thing. And it used to come on sort of every Easter or every Christmas or something like that. And it was brilliant. It was well good.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Um, I used to love it when that came on the TV. Um, but it sounds very.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Is it, um?

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Well, if you're gonna interrupt me, Joe, you need to fucking have your sentence ready, all right?

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Is it the guy from Cheers, plays Gulliver?

• 28:42Speaker 02

  No, it looks like him. Uh, I'm definitely, it's not Dan, what's his name?

• 28:46Speaker 03

  He's in Curb as well, isn't he?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course he is.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  What the fuck's his name?

• 28:49Speaker 02

  He's one of the most famous people on the planet. Oh, Joe. Oh, he was in that film with Macaulay Culkin as well, where he plays the bad dad. And he is a bad dad, isn't he? He's a, literally a bank robber.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Oh, he was going out with Whoopi Goldberg. Um,

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Cheers, he was Becker. Fucking hell, why can't I remember this guy's name, Joe?

• 29:16Speaker 02

  The star of Cheers, guys.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  And you lot are useless as well.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  You want to get a house?

• 29:23Speaker 02

  Not.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  Oh, fucking hell!

• 29:29Speaker 02

  Ted Danson.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Ted Danson, thank you.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  That was awful. You had Dan.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. I knew there was a Dan in there somewhere.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Um.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  I, that's unbelievable. It, I, it took me quicker than, how many people were in this room? And they've all got laptops in front of them. Let me down there, guys.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Um.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  I was there with my cock out, swinging in the breeze.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  That's, um, that's an amazing, amazing thing.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Um, but it reminds me of, um, I read, um, Slash's autobiography, which is well good, by the way.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  And, um, he was, I don't know if you know much about Slash, but he's a rock and roll star.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Is he the, he's the guitarist in, um.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  Guns N' Roses, yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  And he used to take some drugs.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  And, um, his drug of choice was speedballs, which is the thing that killed Belushi.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  Is it crack mixed with heroin?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  Is that right? Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  So it's sort of a Volca Red Bull, isn't it?

• 30:29Speaker 02

  It's sort of like that, yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  It's an up and a downer.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  But he used to, um, so he used to do this, these speedballs and he used to hallucinate tiny little aliens from Predator, the Predator aliens. You know, the ones in those sort of armour and they, they sort of disappear and stuff. He used to hallucinate these tiny little predators running around him.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  That's incredible.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Sort of reminds me of that.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Um, uh, I mean, this, this is just, yeah.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  He's, um.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  And what, so what, the, the aliens in Predator, sorry?

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Oh, I know, the little.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, the Predator.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  You know, they're, they're from another planet.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  Have you seen Predator?

• 31:09Speaker 03

  No, I've never seen Predator.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  Oh, you've got to see Predator, man.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  Um.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  That is classic Schwarzenegger.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  He says his famous line in it, "I'll come back." I've been doing that to Claire recently. It's really, it's been really annoying her. She ca, she was, she didn't have her keys and I was at the front door. And, um, so if you say a famous, like a really famous movie quote, slightly wrong, it really annoys people. And it's been getting on Claire's nerves. She was, I would, I was, I opened the front door and I just went, "You will not pass!" She was going, "It shall not pass. You know that. You're just trying to annoy me."

• 31:51Speaker 02

  So that's a good little tip. If you want to annoy your significant other, so, or someone that you live with or something like that, just take a really famous movie quote. Um, my mate once said, and he did genuinely get this wrong. Um, he was wearing a suit for an occasion and he walked into the room and he went, "The name's James. James Bond."

• 32:11Speaker 02

  That infuriated me.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Oh, that is good.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  It's just a bit more informal, isn't it?

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  Name's James.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Name's James. James Bond.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Is James here? James Bond. Um, yeah, I mean.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Thanks for those messages, guys.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  I mean, I just, the Lillies one, that's, that's just, um, but I've seen that thing as well. And it, so it's not Ted Danson.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  It's not Ted Danson.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  The thing about Gulliver's Travels is that it's like, it kind of gets weirder and weirder. And the lily part bit is one of the early worlds he goes to. And then it ends.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  Oh, it is Ted Danson. Sorry, talking bollocks. It is Ted Danson. Yeah, you're, because I was like, no, it's someone that really looks like Ted Danson.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Well, it is.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  And.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  Turns out it is Ted Danson.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, that's brilliant, that. Yeah. And then he gets all tied up and stuff and they're.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's right. And he, and he wheeze on a, on a fire to put it out.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Right. It's only two episodes. I thought it was like a three par or something.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  I thought it was a film.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, came out in nineteen ninety-six.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Lemuel Gulliver. That's his first name, Lemuel.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Lemuel?

• 33:21Speaker 03

  Lemuel Gulliver.

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Got to bring names like that back.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  It's a good name. Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Lemuel Cornelius.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  Hmm. Hmm.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  It's a shame they're dying out. Adolf. Um.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, Lucifer. Why are these names?

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Judas.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Right. Shall we move on to, shall we move on to fact check, Joe?

• 33:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Um, it is time, it's time for fact check. Strap yourselves in. This is where we read a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Um, then we're going to have a, a think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us. Um, to, to decide whether it passes our fact check. I hate that that next bit of that sentence is on the next page. It fucks me every, every time I read this. Go on, Joe, I think you've got this week's fact check.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Okay, so this week's fact check comes from Chris.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Chris.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Second Chris of the episode.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. Not a problem.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  No, not at all.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Not, not a problem.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  No, a bit high. Two Chris's already.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  But, okay. He, and who says, "My wife works for the NHS and was recently on a training course. During said course, she was told that during the times of old, that when a human underwent an operation."

• 34:36Speaker 02

  I love how this is written.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  I like times of old. That covers, that covers you.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  "When a human underwent an operation, the medical professionals performing it always had a live sheep on hand. Apparently the sheep was on standby in case a blood transfusion was needed. So if the patient lost too much blood, they just restocked their veins with blood of a sheep." Can't be right, can it? Can't be arsed to put the research in.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  We're going to get on the case and we'll be back with the facts. Oh, that's me. We're going to get on the case and we'll be back with a fact stat.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Right. We're having a break.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, do you need a?

• 35:12Speaker 03

  No, I don't need anything.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Well, I don't think my foot might be bleeding into my shoe, but we'll.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Do you want to check it?

• 35:16Speaker 03

  No, I don't want to check it. I'm sure it's fine. Well, it doesn't feel fine, but I don't want to.

• 35:26Speaker 00

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Twelve celebrities, one Don and cold hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where twelve celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Watch the new Hulu original series, The Mob, premiering October twenty-sixth on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 35:59Speaker 04

  Some travelers want the charm of an independent hotel. Others want the confidence of a trusted global brand. With Series by Marriott, you get both. Each property is uniquely connected to its destination, delivering local experiences and memorable stays while being backed by the quality, reliability, and Marriott Bonvoy benefits travelers know and trust. Experience the destination without the compromise. Series by Marriott is part of Marriott Bonvoy. Book direct at Marriott.com or on the Marriott Bonvoy app.

• 36:30Speaker 01

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• 37:03Speaker 02

  Welcome back to Joe and James Fact Up. Um, we were just fact checking on behalf of Chris, who wanted to know, in times of old, when someone underwent an operation, would there be a live sheep on hand? Now, I am going to say, I'm just going to come straight out and say that is not fact.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  I don't think you could put the blood of a sheep into the blood of a human.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  No, because they'd still do it now.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  There's all, like, you know, you have to donate blood.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Um, that's the only way you get, blood, I think, is when humans donate it.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Um.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, we can't.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  I should donate blood.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a nice thing to do.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  I keep getting stupid tattoos though every now and again. You're not allowed to, um, you're not allowed to donate blood if you've had a, had a tattoo within the last year or so, I don't know, six months or something like that.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  It used to be the rule. I might be wrong. Um, but it's a good thing to do to give blood. My mum did it for years. She used to get, um, sort of like Alcoholics Anonymous chips or like badges or something. She used to get some sort of thing.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Being like, oh, you've given blood, you know, five years now.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  It is, it, it is a really useful thing to do. What's your, what's your position on, um, organ donation?

• 38:18Speaker 02

  I think you should opt out of it.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  I think if you don't want to donate organs, then you should sign something and say, look, when I die, I don't really want to donate my organs, which is absolutely fine. Personal preference, totally up to you. But if you've not specifically said, I think I am an organ donor. I think I signed something.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  I think I am as well.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Driver's licence or something like that.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  I think on my old insurance I was, but I don't know whether it, I think the life insurance, you, you do something when you do it. And then I think I've got new life insurance now. I can't remember what I did. I think I might have said, like, not the eyes.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Loads of people say that.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Because it's just weird, isn't it?

• 38:55Speaker 02

  What's the difference?

• 38:56Speaker 03

  My right eye's fucked and no one will want that.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  I know, but.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I need another one now.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  If you can donate an eye to someone after, like, after you don't need it anymore.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  I know, I'm going to untick that. I'm going to say you can have the eye. But what do I care?

• 39:08Speaker 02

  But lots of people do say that. No, like, oh, everything's fine apart from the eyes. I've got to keep my eyes.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  What about the penis?

• 39:13Speaker 02

  No one's going to want that off me.

• 39:14Speaker 03

  No, no, it's not. Whatever. I don't, I don't want mine. Oh, god. Yeah, this sheep thing is nonsense, isn't it?

• 39:20Speaker 02

  It's got to be.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  As if a sheep, and also it's so, are the sheeps going to be going mental, running around and?

• 39:27Speaker 02

  I also think that there's a, there's this sort of.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  It's not the same blood.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Especially.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Kill it beforehand as well. I mean, I know, right, sorry, that's a horrible thing to say, but like, they wouldn't have, they were not squeamish about animals in the past. If they need, well, I suppose, no, to be fair. No, I'm I'm taking that back because obviously the blood would go off. Like you need to kill it there and then.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Okay, you know what? I'm changing it again. They did do it, but it wasn't helpful.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Do you reckon? Because I think there's a real misconception about um people in days of yore. What was it?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Days of old.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Days of old.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  In times of old, I think.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  In times of old, especially sort of the dark ages, especially the Middle Ages, where we look back now and we're like, God, they were all idiots.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  We think they were stupid. I know. This is the classic thing we do.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  It's called.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  They were only more, they were only as intelligent as we are now.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Exactly. Quite right.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  It's just we've discovered more stuff at this point.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  And actually, within within history, um that tendency, I think is part of what people would refer to as wig history, which is the style of history lampooned in the quite funny and old now book, ten sixty six and all that, where you basically treat history as though it's all leading up to now and everything's now right. And it's like, in the past, they were silly and they didn't realise, but now we realise and now we've finished.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  And I think it's sort of part of that way of.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  But I don't think they, I I don't think they were even stupid enough to go. I don't get me wrong. I'm sure it was tried out once. And I think they went, right, no, that didn't work.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  And also you'd say, if you were doing a hundred pros and cons of having a live sheep in the operating theatre, you need quite a lot of pros to outweigh the absolute annoyance of a sheep.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  And they do, yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, that would put you off your surgery if you're the doctor.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  You need wool. Fine.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Do you know what? I had to look up the other day. Um something came up on my Instagram, a bloke shearing a sheep.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  And I was like, that's actually quite interesting. And then I, and then I was like, how did they? Because they need to be sheared.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  Otherwise it would.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, they overheat.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, or they'll get in all sorts of problems. There was a sheep in Australia that they found that hadn't been sheared for.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  I saw that.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  For four years or something.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  It looks thoroughly miserable.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Apparently it had fifty ki- kilograms of wool on it.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  Um, but then I, but then I Googled, how did sheep shear themselves before they were domesticated?

• 42:13Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Um, turns out that they're bred.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Okay, so we give them a problem and then sell them the solution.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were bred that way.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Sheep sheep in the wild never really grew that much wool. It wasn't really a problem.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Um.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  We have bred them a bit, haven't we?

• 42:30Speaker 02

  But.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Like those those mental dogs that keep killing people. And it's like, well, you know, why have you bred them?

• 42:37Speaker 02

  I don't know, man. Listen, I've got dogs and I've got big dogs, I suppose, larger dogs. I had a rottweiler for a bit.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  I've got a Staffordshire bull terrier now.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm talking about the ones that are like, I'm talking about the XL bullies. If it's got XL in the word, in the name, that's a bit.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  But this is also what the media likes to do as well. I hate this sort of stuff. Um hippie crack.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  What's hippie crack?

• 43:01Speaker 02

  It's just a balloon for the night, the stuff.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  But it is called an XL bully, isn't it? Isn't that the name of that?

• 43:06Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't know if it's something that that's been projected.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Okay, well, maybe I'm.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  But hippie crack's one of them that the that the um the press love.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Oh, he was, he was caught doing hippie crack, which I think is just nitrogen that you get at a dentist or something.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 43:23Speaker 02

  But they call it hippie crack.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  To get, so you think, oh, it's some skinny bloke in a shop doorway just fucking.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Throwing up on himself or something.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  And they also say zombie knives.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Well, yes.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  There was a teenager caught with a zombie knife. What's a zombie knife? It's a big knife.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  It's a knife, yeah.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  What's it got to do with zombies? I don't know, but if you, if we can use the word zombie, it'd be more provocative, wouldn't it?

• 43:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, may, yeah, may maybe I've.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  But I do have a theory.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Maybe I've been taken in.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  I do have a theory. I'm I'm a dog person.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  And I do have a theory.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  I am as well.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  I do have a theory that.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  I'm not having to go, I just feel like dogs are bred to be aggressive.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Well, I think, I do genuinely think that there there will be there will be some dogs that maybe are just a bit mental, right?

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Right? And there's not much you can do about that. But I do think it's not the dogs.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Um, I think, I think it's really, really hard to bring up an aggressive dog, because I've, like I said, I've had big dogs. I've had dogs that are bred.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Also, I would have thought most animals in the wild, they're not going to waste energy, even something that's obviously dangerous, like a lion. It's not really a, like, it's not like a cunt, is it? It it is, it needs to eat, so it'll hunt and it will use, I imagine, the minimum amount of energy to to hunt and then it'll eat and it'll be happy.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Yes, I assume these are dogs that are being kicked or kind of mistreated or like.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  I always like the analogy of like, if a lion attacks you, which I think rare rarely happens.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  If a lion attacks you, if you're out in the

• 45:01Speaker 02

  African plain.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  And a lion attacks you.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  It's the same sort of thing, because because I feel like they're villainised then. It's like, oh, it was a lion attack.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  But it's the same sort of thing if you were in the ocean and a shark attacked you. It's like, you were there.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  You were there, you, the lion was just where it's supposed to be.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  We do treat the the predator animals as though they're like baddies.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  And it's like, well, they're just trying to eat. I mean, like, yeah. Anyway.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  What were we talking about?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Well, maybe you're right, so maybe.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  I don't think, I don't think they had a, they, I don't think they always had a live sheep on hand for blood transfusion.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  I can understand why it might be live, because the blood, presumably they couldn't keep blood.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  You can use um.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  And they frown on killing a human, so you can get fresh blood.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  You can use coconut water as plasma.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Isn't that just?

• 45:50Speaker 02

  I think that's from Gevase.

• 45:51Speaker 03

  That's Gevase, isn't it? Yeah.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  Um.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  But why would you ever just need pla-? Well, no, you do. You famously do.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  I mean, I don't, but some do.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Okay, so I don't think that's, that doesn't seem true, because I don't think.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Some like it, some don't.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. You know, yeah, I can do, some like it, some don't. Yeah, some girls like it, some don't. Um. It wouldn't work because even another human's blood doesn't work if it's not the same type. They probably did know that relatively early, and I doubt that they ever really thought that a sheep's blood would work. And if they thought it would, it'd be obvious after a while.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  I think if you've got O negative.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Then you've got very special blood.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  And you should donate it.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  Donate it at once.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Because O negative can go in anyone.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Oh, is that true?

• 46:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Because I, you know, I've been watching ER a lot recently.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yes, you haven't.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Because they're always like, right, give me two bags of O neg. Like, there'll be someone like coming in. They'll be like, give me two bags of O neg now. And I was like, how do they know their blood type already? So then I Googled it again.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Don't watch anything with me, ever, because you'll just, I will be constantly me pausing something to to find out what.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, often the TV show is now just a jumping off point for like some internet rabbit hole. But I mean, I've, I've, you know, I have to try and hold myself back from doing that as well.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Shall we um, shall we find out? Is there any truth to the to the sheep thing?

• 47:19Speaker 05

  So apparently in the seventeenth century in France and in the Royal Society in England, they experimented.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  They experimented.

• 47:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  With, okay.

• 47:28Speaker 05

  And but it was a rare experimental procedure, trying to transfer human blood into hu- uh animal blood into humans.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  The French are dirty.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, so those dirty buggers, they did it, but they do all sorts, don't they?

• 47:41Speaker 02

  The French are well unlucky with their, with the preconception of a of a French, of a smelly Frenchman.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. They're, they're, they're very um sort of um well scrubbed.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  And also.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  They're quite, they're neat and.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Also, they're cowards and they surrender.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  I think they had a bit, they had a tough start of the century, last century. But before that.

• 48:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Nobody has won more battles.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Than.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  And it's also just because like England, France is like, it's the Derby, isn't it? It's basically, it's like.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  I just wish it wasn't like that.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  I love, I love it.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  They're our closest neighbours.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  They're closest neighbours, they're nice. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's, I mean, it's because it's centuries of fighting over the same bits of land and like him or the Eighth sort of trying to take back Calais or whatever.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Anyway, we're all, we're French, aren't we?

• 48:31Speaker 03

  We are really, yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  After the Norman invasions and stuff.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Well, we've done this, Battle Hastings Day.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Absolutely, of course.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  You know, we we celebrate it. We literally celebrate it. So who are we now?

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  But, you know, we, yeah, they came over.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  It's like, because the French don't celebrate it, which is weird. It's like Thanksgiving in America.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Ah, okay.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  So America loves to, loves to celebrate Thanksgiving.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  In many cases.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  From what I've been told, it's, they celebrate that more than they do Christmas.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  So it's a bigger day in the calendar than Christmas is.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  I've heard that as well.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  But it's the English Puritans, isn't it, that landed safely? It's the celebration.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's the celebration of like.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  So shouldn't we celebrate Thanksgiving?

• 49:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, they were English, you know, they were, and and when the American Revolution started, they were insisting on their rights as like freeborn Englishmen.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  When did that buckle hat go out of fashion, do you think?

• 49:31Speaker 03

  The Puritan hat.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. When they sort of.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  Late seventeen.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  When the Puritans sort of Cromwellian.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were. They were, they were, that is what they were.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Like Cromwell wasn't pure enough for them. They were like, you know.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  I think that's basically why.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Even though he took it way too far.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  And he banned any kind of fun or any kind of enjoyment.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Quite liked it if Cromwell had, but by the time, oh, hang on, when did they leave? No, they did leave about the same time, didn't they?

• 49:59Speaker 02

  I I think so, yeah. I think they were like, nah, this Cromwell, he's a soft touch.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Even though he was nuts.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  Well, if you go, I mean, yeah, he was, yeah, he was a lot.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  And then who was next? Charles turned up.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Charles came back, Charles first. No, Charles the second.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Charles the second, yeah. His dad, Charles first was beheaded, right?

• 50:16Speaker 03

  He was beheaded and that was what started the Civil War. Well, no, it started the Civil War, it was in the middle of the Civil War.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  It's so, what a stupid point in this war, by the way. Because I think Cromwell was, Cromwell was like, right, we don't want to do, we don't have it muck about with this monarchy nonsense anymore.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  And then he he sort of was like Lord Protector or whatever it was called.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  No, they, it turned out that it was.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, he became a king.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  And then after eight years of him, everyone just went, oh, should we get?

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  Should we get Charles from?

• 50:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, he died and then he had a son called, I think, Richard Cromwell, and he was just, yeah, he wasn't as good.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  Dick Cromwell.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  Dick Cromwell, yeah, it was, that, yeah, didn't help.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  But after all that, they, like, the.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  I know, it's got it, but I know.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  The country just went, oh, we better get, we better get Charles back from Holland.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  And then he was like, let's have a fucking party.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Merry Monarch. Yeah. Theatre.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it all came back comedy.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Comedy was banned. Under Cromwell.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:18Speaker 02

  It was literally like not allowed to laugh. Laughing is against the law.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think people with um very kind of totalising ideologies don't like comedy, because comedy is always like the it's always pointing out the inconsistency or the

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Well, so that was.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  The part where the part where reality departs from the ideology. I think.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Couldn't even walk, couldn't even leave the house on a Sunday unless you were going to church. And they'd have people going about, bouncers going around going, what are you doing? And if you weren't like, oh, I'm just, I'm just on my way back from church, they'd be like, you, you get nicked.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  There was, there was a kind of a Calvinist sort of, I don't know, leader who

• 52:05Speaker 02

  I don't know, what was it?

• 52:06Speaker 03

  The mayor of a town that was like Calvinist was, was like, was punished for dancing at his own wedding, something like that.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, yeah, it is weird. It's just like.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Who was the king that nicked all the money, just took all the money from the treasury?

• 52:22Speaker 02

  I think it was after Charles, it might have been Charles the first.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  Well, they always were taking all the money because they were getting into wars and wars.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  It's always war, whenever there's big changes, always war, it's always the, it's always the, the, the, whoever's in charge has overspent on a war and then they need to raise taxes and they need to raise taxes further than people want to raise and then.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  The king was not allowed to raise taxes. That was the problem. Only parliament can raise taxes.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly. He has to get it through parliament.

• 52:52Speaker 02

  I can't, I can't remember whether it was Charles the first or whether it was a little bit later, but it was.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  It was basically, well, Charles was definitely had that problem. He kept from getting into wars and he kept on having to call, because parliament wasn't a sitting parliament. You had to literally call it. It was like, you had to invite everyone round.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Um, and everyone literally came to London from all different places and they all sat down and he said, can I have some more money? And they'd go, no, or sometimes yes.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  And then he would sometimes use a little bit like the difference between like executive power and led and stuff that you have to do through passing like um laws in America, like he would be like, well, what can I do without using parliament? And there was a thing called ship money that he was allowed to do, which is a bit like the executive orders in, you know, in America.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  When was the East India Company?

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Later.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Later. So there was a king around that.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  That was later.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, there was a king around that time that was uh that needed some money. He dissolved parliament or whatever for about eight years or something like that and he, and he couldn't raise taxes.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  So he took it in the East India Company.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  Might have been one of the Stuarts or something like that. I don't know.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  It would have been.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Don't think, or Georgian?

• 53:57Speaker 03

  It probably was one of the, one of the Georges.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  But it was this king that dissolved parliament, needed money, so just took the money from the treasury. And then, for some weird reason, took all the pepper from the East India Company.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Just, just pepper.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Ah, don't take the pepper. That is pointless. Because now that no one's got any pepper.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  It was.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  And you don't need that. How much pepper does a man need?

• 54:24Speaker 02

  It was around the same time as the South Sea.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  How much pepper is enough?

• 54:27Speaker 02

  South Sea Bubble thing.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Oh, what was that?

• 54:30Speaker 02

  It was this fake company.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  This is a whole discussion. It's a.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  Tulip mania as well? That was another one?

• 54:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. A tulip, like a single bowl was more than like a house on the waterfront in Amsterdam.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, people were trading tulip bowls, like uh stocks and shares and stuff.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  They were like those, like, what, like, what, like, what are those things, like meme coins or something?

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's exactly like.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  It was like, you know, it's worthless, but you're hoping, there's a thing on, there's a thing that's traded that's like.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Non-fungible tokens.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  It's like the absolute purest version of that, where everyone knows it's worthless, but everybody knows that you might be able to sell it to someone else because they think they can sell it to someone else.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  And it feels like a vision of hell, as far as I'm concerned, but like, but, but it is, some people like it.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  History's funny.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Some like it, some don't.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Some, some don't.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Um, yeah.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Um.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  History's mental, isn't it?

• 55:20Speaker 02

  Hey, here's a quick one.

• 55:21Speaker 03

  What's that anyway?

• 55:22Speaker 02

  I don't know. Sheep, yeah, we.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Oh, it's really, we had it.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  I think we were right.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  It happened once.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, in France.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  At the Royal Society, once in France.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  They went, it didn't work. Yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Didn't work. Why are we still going on about it?

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Um.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  It did not work.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Where are we?

• 55:38Speaker 03

  Leave those sheep alone. Put them back in the field. Sheer them once a year.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Right, before we go, Joe, before we wrap this up.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  I've got my fact.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Well, let me do it. Okay?

• 55:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  It's another animal fact. There are no vertebrates that cannot be seen with the naked eye. If you're a vertebrate.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  You're too.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  You are, you are visible to the naked eye.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Invertebrates, you know, you, you know, you're off to the races, you could be as invisible to the naked eye as you like. But every vertebrate can be seen with the naked eye. Just thought it was a nice, nice. I'm reading a book called um A Very Short History of the Earth by Henry G, I think, and it's like the, also my thing about the ring.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Mr. G.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  It's Mr. G.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's Mr. G the Musical. It's, it's the script of Mr. G the Musical.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  No, what was his name? Hillary?

• 56:32Speaker 03

  Helen.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Helen, that's it.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  The male Helen. It's like, yeah, it's like the Greek Helen. And he's like, I'm a warmer pants pretty high in those days.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  That was the start, that was the fashion.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Fucking brilliant. Do you remember when none of us knew our lines for the Inbetweeners, but we knew the entire script of Summer High Tide? What's, oh yeah, just watch Summer High Tide. It's unbelievable. Um, so I just thought, so I'm working my way through and we, we're going through, we've been through, you know, the earth is all covered in, wherever it's covered in. And then now I'm into kind of the squishy life forms and it's just beginning to be, and the backbone is basically there so that you can evade something that might want to eat you, essentially. So it begins essentially a tail. And the first backbone is sort of like, if you imagine a worm that kind of forms a sort of little S shape and then kind of does a kind of

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  It sort of springs itself along.

• 57:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  That's sort of the backbone. Um, but once you've got a backbone, you, I think to some extent, there's no point being small anymore because you're trying to not get eaten. Uh, so.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  Well, what's interesting is the backbone is there to help you evade, to run away, right?

• 57:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Whereas when you, people say, people say they've got no backbone. And I'd go, well, I have actually.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:44Speaker 02

  Because the backbone is to help me for this very reason.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  That is.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  And that's what I'm going to say next time a bigger guy tries it on with me or something.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  That's actually a, that's actually a superb point. And if you do meet, um, you know, a big tough guy.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  What they really like is you coming up with a reason that's sort of to do with etymology and like, sort of like the roots of words. Um, so that'll get you off the hook for sure. I've never thought about it like that. Um, so anyway, there, there you go.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  It's a good one, Joe.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Do you like that?

• 58:12Speaker 02

  I like that a lot, yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  And I say it's a good book and it's, it's really nice hearing about all this funny squishy stuff that was in the oceans and um how it gradually turns from, you know, almost literally like a bacteria to a cell, to a multicelled.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Um, so I'm at the backbone now, uh, and there are now things that are, you know, getting up towards a metre in length in some cases.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Still all in the ocean and um, uh.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  Well, let's know next week.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. There you go.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Um, before, that was a good fact. Thank you, Joe. And before we go, uh, there's a, a thought from Lucy via the Fact Up form. Um, Lucy says, just wanted to suggest that you call the Euros version of the world up, Europe.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  Europe.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  It's good. It's sort of, it's sort of a bit like pumble, it'd be like, next contestant, you're up.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  And Europe, and it's Europe. Um, when I was at school, my friend.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Are many people asking for the world up to come back?

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Well, Europeans are because they, I mean, they'll, it'll, it'll get hard for, to generate excitement for the world because that's four years time, but like, the Euros, I imagine.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  Um, we could do the co-pop, America.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, we could do that.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Could do the co-pop, America. What was, what's the African one?

• 59:30Speaker 03

  African.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  I just call it the.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  Afcon.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. I just call it the um African Euros.

• 59:36Speaker 03

  My foot's really stinging now. I hope it's not bleeding.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Right. I'll say goodbye and then we'll check out what's going on with Joe's foot. Um, I'm all fact out, Joe. What have we learned today? What have we learned? Um, don't put blood, sheep's blood in your body. Um, don't.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  There's a, don't take the mushroom unless you want to see like a troop of marching clowns.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't um put uh yeasty glass in your foot.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, above all, don't. I mean, put a fucking lid back on a Jarama mine. That's all we've learned.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  That's what we've learned. If you take away one thing from this episode, put your, your lids back on your jars.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  Totally off or totally on is fine.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  It really stings.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  So uh we'll be back next week, armed with more facts, chats and ovine mishaps.

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  Very nice. Is ovine sheep? Must be.

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. Bovine is beef, isn't it, isn't it?

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Or cow.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  What's the thing that comes from um, is it lanolin comes from sheep's wool?

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  I don't know. Um, don't forget, you can get in touch with us. Don't know, don't care. Don't forget, you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you. Um, or whatever nonsense you like to get to us. Our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is O seven eight two two zero three four three three zero and you can follow us on social media at joe and james pods and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. Hello?

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Hello. Bye.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  Yes. Good. Good.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  Joe and James fucked up.

• 1:01:22Speaker 00

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