Pod Insights Joe and James Fact Up Joe and James Discuss Women’s Parts About this episode This Week Joe Thomas and James Buckley discuss their favourite smells, James' massive tonsils and share some April Fools facts...
Plus this week the Fact Boys explore whether alls animals have a 'mating season'
GET IN TOUCH:
Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330
Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7
Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos
Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod
Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript 11,607 words · 9 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 Hot flashes, rage crying, forgetting words mid-sent-ten. Yeah, we know. Menopause is a lot. Midi Health gets it. That's why Midi offers virtual healthcare specially tailored to women's needs. Built for women by women. Every symptom, every stage, every question. Visit joinmidi.com to get started today. That's join M I D I dot com. Individual results and coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage.
0:30 Speaker 01 Hello, this is Susie Ruffel. And Maisie Adam. And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mais, what is it? Only the best podcast ever. Yes. A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel. Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too. Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. You just need to search Big Kick Energy. Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.
1:02 Speaker 02 I'm not sure how these next two episodes are going to go, Jo.
1:07 Speaker 03 I'm sure they'll be okay.
1:08 Speaker 02 Because I had to drive in.
1:10 Speaker 03 Okay. So you weren't able to do your?
1:12 Speaker 02 I can't just sit here and drink beer.
1:15 Speaker 03 Ah.
1:15 Speaker 02 And get a bit drunk.
1:17 Speaker 03 Oh, I see.
1:17 Speaker 02 Which is where, um, it's where I get my power from.
1:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, I get it. It kind of, it helps you kind of explore through your mind a bit. It just opens a few gates.
1:29 Speaker 02 No Popeye with his spinach.
1:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:31 Speaker 02 That's me with Stella.
1:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:34 Speaker 02 Because I just, um, I just don't have a personality unless I'm, unless I'm a little bit drunk.
1:43 Speaker 03 I don't, I don't think that's true, but I, I think that maybe it just gives you that little, lets you like, like jump the fence. Do you know what I mean? Just gets you out of your.
1:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, just gives you a little edge there.
1:52 Speaker 03 Gets you out of the centre a bit.
1:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:54 Speaker 02 Stops you from overthinking stuff.
1:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:57 Speaker 02 But yeah, no, I'm sober and fed up and.
2:01 Speaker 03 I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. We could always OD on hobnobs or something.
2:05 Speaker 02 I'm I'm not sure how we all feel about this. Someone called me a puff on the way, uh, while I was driving through London today.
2:13 Speaker 03 What?
2:13 Speaker 02 I hadn't heard that word since.
2:15 Speaker 03 I haven't heard that for fucking ages.
2:16 Speaker 02 Since we did the in between.
2:17 Speaker 03 I know that. I know the one I've I don't I genuinely. It's retro.
2:22 Speaker 02 But.
2:22 Speaker 03 Going all the way back to.
2:24 Speaker 02 It was some bloke and, um, that is old school, isn't it? Definitely didn't know who I was, by the way. It wasn't like.
2:30 Speaker 03 Right.
2:31 Speaker 02 I was some in betweeners.
2:32 Speaker 03 Wasn't in betweeners banter, because because you can get a bit confused with in betweeners banter, because sometimes it's like, well, I think it's somebody calling me a cunt, but actually it seems very happy. So it's. And I'm getting a hug. So it's like, so it's actually all right.
2:42 Speaker 02 It wasn't that. It was somebody. Walking in front of me on a zebra crossing.
2:47 Speaker 03 Right.
2:48 Speaker 02 Uh, pointing at me. And then do again, I haven't seen this for a good few years, doing that sort of, um, limp wrist.
2:56 Speaker 03 That's incredible. Yeah, it's absolutely.
2:57 Speaker 02 Pointing to me going, you're a puff, you're a puff.
3:00 Speaker 03 You're a shirt lifter.
3:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:01 Speaker 03 You're you're.
3:02 Speaker 02 Your big girl's blouse.
3:03 Speaker 03 You're friends with Nancy, whatever it is.
3:05 Speaker 02 And I was just like, I don't, uh, what what have I done?
3:09 Speaker 03 Bloody hell. So what what's what that on?
3:11 Speaker 02 Trying to keep myself to myself.
3:12 Speaker 03 What's what is what have you what's what are you signaling? That's like.
3:16 Speaker 02 No, I don't know. I don't know. And I don't mind. I don't mind it.
3:20 Speaker 03 No.
3:21 Speaker 02 I don't have a problem with it. Um, but I just. Like I say, I had to drive in today. I've got to drive to Manchester as soon as we finish this.
3:29 Speaker 03 Have you?
3:30 Speaker 02 Because I've got to go and do BBC Breakfast tomorrow.
3:32 Speaker 03 Oh, God, they're all Manchester now, aren't they?
3:33 Speaker 02 I just hate live, doing stuff live.
3:36 Speaker 03 It's hard.
3:36 Speaker 02 Not that it's like awful or bad or they treat you mean or anything like that. It's absolutely fine.
3:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:41 Speaker 02 I just don't like live.
3:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:44 Speaker 02 Broadcast.
3:46 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, it it's.
3:48 Speaker 02 Especially at that time in the morning as well.
3:50 Speaker 03 It's so early, isn't it?
3:52 Speaker 02 I'm just, I'm just a bit, you know.
3:57 Speaker 03 Well, um.
3:59 Speaker 02 Even though I shouldn't, I shouldn't be. Lucky, very lucky, unfortunate. Sometimes you can't help it, can you? Even when your life's going really great and stuff, you just, you know, I had to drive in today. Some bloke called me a puffer. I've got to go to Manchester later. I've got to do this sober. I love doing this. I look forward to doing it. This is like me getting out for the day. When we come and do this, I have a few beers with you.
4:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:21 Speaker 02 Um, and I like, and we have a laugh and stuff. I feel like that's been taken away from me.
4:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, you've got nothing left.
4:30 Speaker 02 I've got nothing.
4:31 Speaker 03 You've got nothing.
4:31 Speaker 02 I'm a simple man. I've got, I've got a couple of things. Beer and you.
4:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:37 Speaker 03 Oh, this is genuinely moving.
4:40 Speaker 02 And you're all stressed out as well. You've had a stressful couple of days.
4:44 Speaker 03 I've had a stressful couple of days.
4:45 Speaker 02 So I just, I just don't know how these, these, and we're filming, we're doing two episodes today.
4:49 Speaker 03 We didn't see one of those April Fools, so I meant to be all.
4:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. It's April Fools. It's the April Fools episode as well and I'm not even drunk.
4:56 Speaker 03 Unbelievable.
4:57 Speaker 02 It's terrible.
4:58 Speaker 03 You're the one who's been pranked.
5:00 Speaker 02 I'm the fool.
5:01 Speaker 03 You, you've got to, um, get a, well, no, not going to go to Manchester. Listen, Manchester's a lovely place, but.
5:07 Speaker 02 I pity, I pity the fool.
5:09 Speaker 03 I've.
5:10 Speaker 02 I used to pity the fool and now I'm the fool.
5:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, I mean.
5:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, and yes, yeah.
5:17 Speaker 02 Self pity. That's the kind of jokes that you're gonna get from sober Buckley.
5:20 Speaker 03 Mm, mm.
5:21 Speaker 02 I'm drinking water.
5:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:23 Speaker 02 It's like acid.
5:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, burns, it burns. Um.
5:29 Speaker 02 I've asked for smart water because it's got electrolytes in it.
5:32 Speaker 03 Is that what it has in it? I didn't know that.
5:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, with added electrolyte.
5:35 Speaker 03 Is electrolytes basically just, um, sugar and salt?
5:39 Speaker 02 I think so. I don't know about sugar. I hope it's not sugar. Trying to stay away from that, but it's, um.
5:45 Speaker 03 It will only be a little bit.
5:46 Speaker 02 But it's to, yeah, it's to help you. Hydrate a bit better.
5:50 Speaker 03 Yeah. Smart water.
5:52 Speaker 02 Yeah. Who was that bloke?
5:54 Speaker 03 Hope it's not too smart.
5:55 Speaker 02 Um, who was the richest, Matt Samoosa or something like that? What was his name? He was the richest bloke that's ever lived. He was the empire, the Mali Empire. And he like destabilised um. The uh world economy, like he destabilised gold, because he went on this pilgrimage. From sort of Central Africa to um, where do they go when they do, when they do the, the Hajj or whatever it's called?
6:20 Speaker 03 Oh, the Hajj, yeah, Mecca.
6:22 Speaker 02 Mecca, yeah, so he did, he did the pilgrimage to Mecca.
6:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:26 Speaker 02 And he took like about fifty thousand people with him.
6:29 Speaker 03 Right.
6:29 Speaker 02 Like all the sort of people that work for him and stuff like that.
6:33 Speaker 03 Yeah. Can't go on pilgrimage without a entourage.
6:35 Speaker 02 He was just giving people gold all along the way from like Africa all the way to Mecca. Just handing out, everyone was just like running up behind him, he was just handing out loads of gold. Gold became worthless.
6:45 Speaker 03 Right.
6:45 Speaker 02 So on the way back, he had to start asking people to lend him back the gold or something. And that he would then pay them back.
6:54 Speaker 03 I see.
6:54 Speaker 02 Or like it was.
6:55 Speaker 03 He was like a bank, wasn't he?
6:57 Speaker 02 It was a.
6:57 Speaker 03 It was like, you have some money, oh, that's too much, all right.
6:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:00 Speaker 03 Lend it to us.
7:01 Speaker 02 It was like a bank about twenty years ago. They couldn't, they, they loved it, didn't they?
7:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, they were like, what can we do? We'll give you some money. No, no, no. It's like that guy in between us, give us a blowjob. No, I'll give you a blowjob. It's like something, just one or the other, there you go, now give it back. No, hang on, no, give it, give some of it back.
7:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, they'd have people out on the streets, banks and be like, do you want a mortgage? Well, I wasn't thinking of it.
7:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, oh, yeah, I thought you meant after the crash, no, before, so before the crash, it was like, everyone have a mortgage.
7:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:30 Speaker 03 Everyone have a mortgage.
7:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:31 Speaker 03 And you haven't got a job, like, don't worry.
7:33 Speaker 02 Don't you worry about that.
7:34 Speaker 03 Don't worry about it. You don't need, you don't need a job in today's modern economy.
7:37 Speaker 02 Exactly, yeah.
7:37 Speaker 03 You can, your job can be being in debt.
7:39 Speaker 02 I just don't think I'll be able to afford the mortgage.
7:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:41 Speaker 02 Well, that's the beautiful, beautiful thing about the mortgage, right? You don't have to worry about that until later.
7:46 Speaker 03 Absolutely, absolutely.
7:48 Speaker 02 Right now, I need nothing off you. Have you got nothing? I've got nothing.
7:52 Speaker 03 We're my kind of guy.
7:54 Speaker 02 Step this way.
7:55 Speaker 03 Step this way. Yeah, they did, um, they did tell Timon, didn't they?
7:59 Speaker 02 This Mali Empire, they had loads and loads of gold.
8:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:03 Speaker 02 Um, no one was allowed to know where the gold was. It was like a state secret.
8:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:07 Speaker 02 And um. They, where they were mining the gold, there was no salt.
8:14 Speaker 02 So they used to have to like put salt on camels or horses or something and and take it to the people that were working in the mines.
8:21 Speaker 03 Oh, right, okay.
8:22 Speaker 02 So they could retain water.
8:25 Speaker 03 I see.
8:25 Speaker 02 Cause it's nuts, isn't it? Cause it's always like, oh, if you have too much salt, like you'll you'll get dehydrated.
8:28 Speaker 03 No, yeah, you need a bit of salt. You need a little bit.
8:30 Speaker 02 But you need salt to be able to retain water.
8:32 Speaker 03 You need a little bit. You need a little bit. More the better, I say. I have, that's why I take.
8:35 Speaker 02 You're listening to sober.
8:38 Speaker 03 Oh, look at this.
8:39 Speaker 02 Sober facts.
8:40 Speaker 03 Oh dear. Right, let me just go and put some of this over there, cause I'm just gonna.
8:44 Speaker 02 You put some of that over there, cause I've actually got something for you, Joe.
8:46 Speaker 03 Okay, right.
8:48 Speaker 02 Before we get into the podcast, um, I've got, um, for all the, um, Ricky Gervais XFM show fans that listen, that love it as much as we do.
8:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:59 Speaker 02 I've got some monkey news for you.
9:00 Speaker 03 Oh, yes.
9:01 Speaker 02 I've got some actual monkey news.
9:02 Speaker 03 Actual monkey news?
9:03 Speaker 02 Yeah. Chimpanzee that.
9:05 Speaker 03 Chimpanzee that monkey news.
9:08 Speaker 02 Um, in the Congo, chimpanzees have been observed wearing masks made of leaves, bark and cloth, while raiding markets to avoid recognition. So a bunch of, uh, a bunch of monkeys in the jungle, right? They've been like, they've been put, they've.
9:24 Speaker 03 All right. Got a bit crafty.
9:26 Speaker 02 They got a bit crafty, right? Been robbing, they've been robbing people.
9:28 Speaker 03 So he's gone. Oh, see what we're thinking. See what we're thinking.
9:31 Speaker 02 But no one knows where they are, cause they've been wearing masks. But look, I've got a picture for you. I've actually got proof.
9:39 Speaker 02 And maybe I should send that into the,
9:42 Speaker 02 into the WhatsApp so we can put that on the screen.
9:46 Speaker 02 Is that AI?
9:47 Speaker 03 There's no way that's real.
9:49 Speaker 02 Is that AI?
9:50 Speaker 03 The masks, they look like, they look like the masks that you wear to a Venetian mask ball. They're incredibly well made.
9:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:57 Speaker 03 I I couldn't make a mask that good. I don't think, I mean, I don't think that's real.
10:03 Speaker 02 You don't think that's real?
10:05 Speaker 03 There's, there's something about that. What's the new source?
10:10 Speaker 02 What is it?
10:10 Speaker 03 London Bait Head.
10:13 Speaker 02 Oh.
10:14 Speaker 03 It's not exactly ITN, is it?
10:15 Speaker 02 No. But bait head.
10:17 Speaker 03 Bait head?
10:18 Speaker 02 That's, um.
10:19 Speaker 03 Fish. He's a fishing site.
10:20 Speaker 02 Well, or baiting.
10:22 Speaker 03 Ah.
10:23 Speaker 02 Tricking you into.
10:25 Speaker 03 I mean, they do look, they do look scary. I mean, this one here looks like a sort of plague doctor.
10:32 Speaker 02 It's terrifying though, isn't it? But I was gonna read-
10:34 Speaker 03 I'd be absolutely terrified if they came in.
10:36 Speaker 02 I was gonna read the story.
10:37 Speaker 03 That's brilliant monkey news.
10:38 Speaker 02 Um chimpanzees, no, what does it say? I don't think there's a stories. Stories like this have circulated about chimps in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, claiming they use leaves, bark or scraps of cloth as masks while raiding food stalls.
10:52 Speaker 03 I, what I think is, the story might be true, but I'm pretty sure that picture-
10:58 Speaker 02 Right, imagine Pilkington around these days in the, doing monkey news in the, in the world of AI.
11:08 Speaker 02 And I think people would
11:11 Speaker 02 leave stuff to try and get him to-
11:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, like, like Pokemon Go, they'd be like, just leave that there, see when Pilkington finds it. No, I, well, I mean, I, in a way, I suppose, one of the, um,
11:29 Speaker 03 one of the things that I think about that podcast is, it makes me a bit nostalgic for the, the certainty of Gervais and Merchant that like, the, the gatekeepers will prevail in the end and actually will get a return to just, well, we all know, you know, not the middle 90% of people all kind of agree. And actually, it's more like the, the, the Pilkingtons of the world of one. Like, they, they are the ones who have prevailed in the, in the-
11:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
11:57 Speaker 03 Like, it's, it's, um-
11:58 Speaker 02 They, yeah.
11:59 Speaker 03 And I mean, there are bits where they make fun of him by, for the fact that he's gets it, he gets all his news off the internet.
12:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:08 Speaker 03 They're like, well, that's wrong.
12:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:09 Speaker 03 Imagine that.
12:10 Speaker 02 It was only 20 years ago. It's like, what are you doing? You're getting your news off the internet?
12:13 Speaker 03 Oh, the internet, that's crazy. News is, news is written down on a big piece of paper.
12:19 Speaker 02 Um, but sticking with it-
12:20 Speaker 03 And it's rolled up.
12:20 Speaker 02 Sticking with this, Joe.
12:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:22 Speaker 02 Um, I've found a, um, Instagram account that is basically Rockbusters.
12:31 Speaker 03 No way.
12:32 Speaker 02 It's called, um, it's called Jelly Armchair, all one word.
12:36 Speaker 03 Okay.
12:37 Speaker 02 But they put up a little sort of cryptic clue, guess the film.
12:43 Speaker 02 So it's a picture of a crow and then there's a tent with the letter L in it. And then there's a load of legs pointing at the shin.
12:58 Speaker 02 What's that?
13:01 Speaker 03 Okay.
13:01 Speaker 02 But it's brilliant. It is brilliant. So it's a film. It's a film.
13:06 Speaker 03 Crow. So is it, does it, is crow in it? Bird?
13:10 Speaker 02 You've got to be more Pilkington. That's what, because when I saw the answer, I was like, that, that is, that is Pilkington.
13:17 Speaker 03 Um, three shins.
13:18 Speaker 02 You'll never get it.
13:21 Speaker 03 Go, what is it?
13:22 Speaker 02 It's Crow L. Intent Shins.
13:30 Speaker 02 Crowell Intent Shins.
13:32 Speaker 03 Crowell Intentions. Yeah. I mean, that's, yeah, it's, um.
13:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, check them out.
13:37 Speaker 03 It's the, it's the fact that the, the kind of, the vowel sounds are just nowhere near.
13:42 Speaker 02 Yeah. I was listening to, I was listening to the podcast, um, in, on the way in today, uh, the Ricky Gervais one. And one of the answers was Colly Osbourne.
13:56 Speaker 02 Colly Osbourne.
13:57 Speaker 03 It's like, even what he gets to is, is so far away from. Oh God, um.
14:03 Speaker 02 And it was like, this vegetable started down under. Colly Osbourne.
14:08 Speaker 03 Colly Osbourne. Get them.
14:10 Speaker 02 No, her name's not Colly.
14:13 Speaker 03 Get them on the boat. It's a lot cheaper. Buy on ferry.
14:16 Speaker 02 Buy on ferry. Buy on ferry.
14:18 Speaker 03 Buy on ferry.
14:18 Speaker 02 If you're gonna get that, get it on the, you know, and you're going, what, you, you, you just get it on the boat because it's cheaper. Buy on, buy on ferry.
14:25 Speaker 03 Yeah. You say Brian Ferry. Well, no, you don't. You sort of, you don't say that though, do you? Well, no, you do say it. You do say it.
14:32 Speaker 03 They're so good. They're so good.
14:34 Speaker 02 Um, but yeah, check out Je- Je- what was it?
14:36 Speaker 03 Jelly, jelly something.
14:38 Speaker 02 Jelly chair?
14:38 Speaker 03 Jelly armchair.
14:39 Speaker 02 Jelly armchair.
14:40 Speaker 03 Jelly armchair, all one word on Instagram. Crowell Intent Shins. It's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant.
14:47 Speaker 02 Really good. Um, hey, should we do a podcast episode, Joe?
14:51 Speaker 03 Yes, please.
15:06 Speaker 02 Hello and welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but you don't want to research in a segment we call Fact Check. So if you want to send us your facts, our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822034330. You can also follow on our socials @JoeAndJamesPod. And don't forget that you can watch all our full episodes on YouTube. All you have to do is search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.
15:47 Speaker 04 Scaling your business doesn't have to mean endless meetings or repetitive training. With Camtasia Pro, teams can easily transform their expertise into engaging video content. No professional editing experience required. By combining screen recording, editing, and AI-powered workflows into one simple solution, Camtasia Pro helps you train faster, onboard smarter, and easily document critical processes. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasiapro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
16:24 Speaker 05 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
16:54 Speaker 00 Hot flashes, rage crying, forgetting words mid-sent-ten. Yeah, we know. Menopause is a lot. Midi Health gets it. That's why Midi offers virtual healthcare specially tailored to women's needs. Built for women by women. Every symptom, every stage, every question. Visit joinmidi.com to get started today. That's join M-I-D-I dot com. Individual results and coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage.
17:31 Speaker 03 Oh, look, I've got this this week. Are you ready?
17:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, go on.
17:34 Speaker 03 How are you, James?
17:35 Speaker 02 Well, I think I've touched on it already.
17:36 Speaker 03 You have touched on it. You're cross because you can't have a beer.
17:38 Speaker 02 Fed up, tired.
17:39 Speaker 03 Because you've got to drive to Manchester. So correctly so, like, you know, you're, you're, well, you're not drink driving. So, so, you know. Good. Well, and, and, you know, small, small, small wins. I'm making it sound like you always drink drive. You never do. But I'm just saying you're doing the right thing. You're setting a good example.
18:00 Speaker 02 No, you can't drink drive.
18:01 Speaker 03 You can't drink drive. You shouldn't drink drive. And, um.
18:04 Speaker 02 I mean, that's fine. That's a good message.
18:05 Speaker 03 That's a good message. But, and, you know, I appreciate that it's, it's less of a treat for you because of that, which is, is a, you know, it's a shame. I'm sorry.
18:13 Speaker 02 I'll tell you the problem I'm having is, is when I'm doing these and I'm a bit like, especially once we get on to like the second episode and stuff and I've already had a few beers.
18:20 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:21 Speaker 02 I'm really, really enjoying myself there. And I do genuinely, I'm like, this is so funny. We're being so funny.
18:26 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:27 Speaker 02 And I really do enjoy myself. And then anytime I listen to this podcast back, um, I always tell Katie, Katie's like, did you listen to the episodes? To make sure I'm happy with it. I haven't said anything that's going to get me cancelled or anything. And I just say, I listened to the first 10 minutes. It was really boring. I couldn't get past that. But if you have a couple of beers and listen to this.
18:49 Speaker 03 Exactly.
18:50 Speaker 02 You're going to be fine. But now I feel like I'm listening to the podcast.
18:53 Speaker 03 Yeah. The nightmare scenario.
18:58 Speaker 03 That's the takeaway message you want to rip off.
18:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:00 Speaker 03 Be, be on it. Don't listen.
19:04 Speaker 02 Buy on ferry.
19:05 Speaker 03 Buy on ferry.
19:05 Speaker 02 Always buy on ferry.
19:06 Speaker 03 Buy on ferry.
19:07 Speaker 02 Um, but I'll be all right. I'll be okay. Still not a hundred percent. Still not a hundred percent.
19:12 Speaker 03 Still a bit ill.
19:13 Speaker 02 Still a little bit ill. In fact, it's reminded me, I just need to do a little, I need to squirt something up my nose.
19:18 Speaker 03 Yeah, go on.
19:19 Speaker 02 So you sort of vamp, keep this.
19:22 Speaker 03 You're not going to do that on drive either, by the way.
19:25 Speaker 02 Hang on one sec. I've brought this stuff with me. It's really good to be fair.
19:31 Speaker 02 What's it called? Otravine.
19:35 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
19:35 Speaker 02 Otravine sinus relief. It's really good.
19:39 Speaker 03 Yeah, Hannah's always on this. It's nice.
19:44 Speaker 03 VFX.
19:47 Speaker 03 Yeah. Do you have issues with with sinuses and things like that?
19:51 Speaker 02 Sinus and throat. Apparently I've got big tonsils. So that's where God wanted to bless me.
19:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, lucky. Lucky Claire.
20:01 Speaker 02 So I'm always saying to Claire, she's always like, mm, she always has a face of disappointment and then I open my mouth and I go, check these out, baby.
20:09 Speaker 03 Yeah. So, um, mostly, mostly, mostly your, is it? Your sex life? The oral sex is amazing. Look at those tonsils.
20:20 Speaker 02 Well, you can't even do anything with them.
20:21 Speaker 03 You can't. You don't even need, you can get rid of them.
20:24 Speaker 02 If she had a cock, they might.
20:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's, that's, yeah, they might, they might give it a little.
20:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:29 Speaker 03 Something, wouldn't they?
20:31 Speaker 02 My kids have also inherited big tonsils.
20:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:36 Speaker 02 Again. I bet they're like, thanks, dad.
20:39 Speaker 03 I don't even really know what they are because what they're not is that dangly bit.
20:43 Speaker 02 No.
20:43 Speaker 03 That's your epiglossis, is it? Is that what it's called? No, I don't know what it's called.
20:47 Speaker 02 I was gonna say the uvula. Is that a, is that a vagina thing?
20:53 Speaker 02 Vulva. That's, oh, no, I think that might be a vulva as well. Uvula.
20:57 Speaker 03 That's not, it's not, it's not another vulva.
21:00 Speaker 02 I think there's another vulva somewhere. You know how, um, like you have, no.
21:06 Speaker 03 The search?
21:07 Speaker 02 No, you're right. It's a uvula. Uvula, right.
21:09 Speaker 03 Uvula.
21:09 Speaker 02 Which hangs above the throat. Yeah, there you go. What's the point of that?
21:13 Speaker 03 I don't know what that is. It's just for cartoons, isn't it?
21:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
21:16 Speaker 03 Ah, you can think, da, da, da, da, da. It's like a little bell digging your way.
21:20 Speaker 02 For, um, Jerry to play.
21:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:23 Speaker 02 Do speedball boxing.
21:25 Speaker 03 That's it.
21:26 Speaker 02 Um. No, I think there's another, because you know, sometimes you've got like.
21:33 Speaker 02 Like, so orifice, like, there's more, when I think of orifice, I think of the arsehole.
21:40 Speaker 03 But, yeah.
21:40 Speaker 02 But that could be any.
21:41 Speaker 03 Orifice is just a word for.
21:42 Speaker 02 That could be your ear hole, couldn't it?
21:43 Speaker 03 It could be, yeah. It could be.
21:45 Speaker 02 I'm always thinking of that. I'm sure I brought it, I'm sure I brought it up. Stan Collimore, when he was on Talksport.
21:51 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
21:52 Speaker 02 And, uh.
21:53 Speaker 03 Oh, that's right.
21:53 Speaker 02 And listen, he's not, you know, I'm not a big fan of Stan Collimore, but he's not the smartest tool in the shed, is he? Um, and he, uh, so he's presenting, he's a presenter, right? Been doing it for years and years by this point. He was on Talksport and he was commentating on a football game. And he was just talking about how the team aren't giving enough. And, um, and he was like, you know, they should be, they should be just giving more. Passion should be coming out of every, and I was going, I was going, poor. Say poor, Stan. Say poor.
22:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:30 Speaker 02 Orifice.
22:33 Speaker 02 I was like, oh, mate.
22:34 Speaker 03 You could have said Volvo, I suppose.
22:36 Speaker 02 Yeah. Anyway, how are you, Joe?
22:38 Speaker 03 I'm fine.
22:39 Speaker 02 You're okay?
22:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm good. Uh, so I've, um, what we've done, I have actually, I've been, I've been to the tip again this week. And I've actually, I've already told you this because I came and did the Buckleys, didn't I? That was, that was fun as well. That was a great day. I went to the tip and I did the Buckleys. Kind of, I can't imagine a better day to be honest.
23:01 Speaker 02 That's everyone's dream.
23:02 Speaker 03 It's a dream.
23:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:03 Speaker 03 Well, I mean, you know, in, in, in a way, I was like, good day.
23:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:06 Speaker 03 Um, and, um, so that was, uh, yeah, that was great. I wore a little, uh, sparkly jacket, didn't I?
23:16 Speaker 02 I did, yeah.
23:17 Speaker 03 Just about fit.
23:18 Speaker 02 Joe came, uh, came on and did a bit for me and Claire on our live show at the Palladium during the week.
23:24 Speaker 03 I presented a game that I was told on the night you hate.
23:27 Speaker 02 Yes. That was the joke. That was a joke. And it is stupid.
23:32 Speaker 03 It's an annoying, it is an annoying game, actually.
23:35 Speaker 02 Uh, how's the house looking? Any, any updates?
23:38 Speaker 03 No, not really any updates. We're kind of, um, we, but as a kind of, we have to finish this. The, the plasterer who's doing almost everything, actually, he's an amazing guy, he can do everything.
23:56 Speaker 03 Um, he's still got a set of our house keys. We've only got two sets. So it's actually incredibly inconvenient. So at the moment, the people, the people who have got keys to our house are.
24:07 Speaker 02 They have as many keys as you.
24:09 Speaker 03 And our, and our plaster. Yeah, so.
24:11 Speaker 02 You, you know, you can sort that out though, can't you?
24:13 Speaker 03 You can cut keys, can't you?
24:14 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
24:15 Speaker 03 I really am treating these keys as though they can't be reproduced. I've treated them like these kind of artifacts we found. I will say this, when we moved into the house.
24:24 Speaker 02 Takes about two minutes to get it done.
24:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know.
24:27 Speaker 02 They're at supermarkets. You can always find the, they're usually like, it's usually like a cobbler.
24:33 Speaker 03 Cobbler's, yeah. They do keys and shoes.
24:36 Speaker 02 I used to love walking past the cobblers when I was a kid.
24:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:39 Speaker 02 There used to be one on, uh, Dagenham Heathway. And, um, I don't know what they do in there, in those cobblers.
24:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:47 Speaker 02 But there was always this sort of strange chemically smell that I really loved.
24:51 Speaker 03 Hmm.
24:52 Speaker 02 Really, really. And I always used to love the smell of petrol as well.
24:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? It smells. There, there was a smell that I used to associate with holidays. And it turned out to be the smell of the stuff they use to basically clean piss off walls.
25:06 Speaker 02 Hmm.
25:07 Speaker 03 I, I don't, but like, I was like, I love that smell. It's just weird. And do you ever, um, do you like the petrol station smell?
25:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, I do, yeah.
25:13 Speaker 03 I used to like that as well.
25:15 Speaker 02 I still do. I still like the petrol station smell.
25:17 Speaker 03 It is, it's a nice, I think there was just something about, the petrol station was a good place. It was like, you'd be, you know, you'd be with your, with your parents and like, in the back of the car, it was like being in the car.
25:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:28 Speaker 03 There was maybe the prospect of getting some sweets.
25:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:31 Speaker 03 The parents kind of relax when you go to the service station. It's like suddenly you're allowed to get whatever you want. And the, and I don't know, yeah, there's something about, yeah, I like those little, those little moments where you can just sort something out. I didn't have any petrol and I've now got a full tank.
25:47 Speaker 03 I don't know, just little, little things.
25:48 Speaker 02 Get a full tank. It always used to be like a tenner, twenty quid. But now I do fill it up. Now I feel like a big man.
25:55 Speaker 03 I filled up the other days.
25:56 Speaker 02 When I go to the petrol station, I just fill it straight up.
25:58 Speaker 03 All the way up, all the way up, yeah.
26:01 Speaker 02 James, all the way up Buckley. That's what they call me. Is this good? Is this going in?
26:06 Speaker 03 I think it's quite good. And I went to get some fuel the other day.
26:12 Speaker 03 And it was more than two pounds per litre.
26:15 Speaker 02 Right.
26:15 Speaker 03 I've got a diesel. I know that's terrible, the worst one I could have. I'm gonna try and get an electric car, I think.
26:20 Speaker 02 Do you reckon?
26:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think so. I shouldn't be driving around in a still burning hydrocar. And diesel's even worse.
26:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'd happily get.
26:27 Speaker 03 They thought it was better for a while. I can't, I don't know why, but.
26:30 Speaker 02 Well, that was what everyone was told when they.
26:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:32 Speaker 02 It's better for the environment. It's more efficient.
26:35 Speaker 03 It's more efficient.
26:36 Speaker 02 It's definitely more efficient. You can do more miles with a diesel. Ah, this is terrible.
26:42 Speaker 02 Have you got a fact for us, Joe, for the love of God?
26:44 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, I have actually, yeah. So, um, so tomorrow is April Fool's Day, so we thought we'd celebrate our love of foolishness, and that is certainly true.
26:55 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
26:56 Speaker 03 Today, because, you know, we need more than one day.
26:58 Speaker 02 Why not?
26:58 Speaker 03 We need a whole year. Uh.
27:01 Speaker 02 I do it every day of the year.
27:03 Speaker 03 I do do it every day of the year.
27:04 Speaker 02 And then the next year I'll start all over again.
27:05 Speaker 03 Absolutely. With some foolish facts.
27:08 Speaker 02 Great.
27:09 Speaker 03 Right, so my, uh, fact is that in twenty eighteen, uh, a woman won a million pounds on the lottery.
27:23 Speaker 02 Nice.
27:24 Speaker 03 And she told her husband, but he didn't believe her because a few weeks prior, she'd done an April Fool's joke, telling you that she'd won two hundred and fifty thousand pounds on the lottery.
27:35 Speaker 02 Someone did that, um, someone did that to, uh,
27:40 Speaker 02 when I, I, when I was working on something, we were rehearsing.
27:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:44 Speaker 02 Somebody brought in these fake scratch cards.
27:47 Speaker 03 It's a really common prank, it turns out.
27:50 Speaker 02 And then did it to this actress, and she got really, really pleased, and she was going, oh my god, oh my god.
27:57 Speaker 03 You would get really pleased.
27:58 Speaker 02 I think it was like seventy five thousand pounds or something like that. And, um, and she was going, oh god, oh, I can, I can pay for my kitchen now.
28:06 Speaker 03 Oh, no.
28:07 Speaker 02 And then it was like, oh, are you joking?
28:11 Speaker 03 Is it?
28:12 Speaker 02 Just joking.
28:15 Speaker 03 But you know, look on the bright side, we've got a laugh, haven't we?
28:17 Speaker 02 Yeah. Oh, you fucking, you can't put a price on that, can you?
28:20 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:21 Speaker 02 Eh?
28:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:22 Speaker 02 Squadron never dies.
28:24 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah. Good girl. Practical jokes for the good, for the good. Oh, I'll say, I'd better do this now, actually.
28:34 Speaker 02 Go on.
28:35 Speaker 03 You wanker.
28:35 Speaker 02 You wanker.
28:36 Speaker 03 Such a sad little man. Am I? Didn't know that.
28:40 Speaker 03 And then, is that the end of the episode?
28:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:43 Speaker 03 I think it is, actually.
28:43 Speaker 02 I think so, yeah. Yeah. What's his name?
28:47 Speaker 03 Ricky.
28:48 Speaker 02 Ricky. Oh, of course, yeah.
28:50 Speaker 03 Ricky!
28:51 Speaker 02 Right, anyway.
28:52 Speaker 03 Ricky, no!
28:53 Speaker 02 We're doing April Fools' facts today. Joe is gonna present his fact first this week.
29:01 Speaker 03 Oh, that was, that was your fact, wasn't it, Joe?
29:02 Speaker 06 It was my fact.
29:05 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
29:07 Speaker 03 What the fucking hell? Was it that bad?
29:12 Speaker 02 I mean, I hope. That did, that's the fact.
29:14 Speaker 03 It wasn't really a fact, it was a story.
29:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:17 Speaker 03 Oh, it did feel like a fact.
29:20 Speaker 02 I've gone into a loop. My brain's fallen into a loop.
29:24 Speaker 03 It was in, it was in the news.
29:26 Speaker 02 Well, just do it again, one more time for us.
29:28 Speaker 03 Okay, so my fact, this is all stated like this.
29:30 Speaker 02 Yeah. Jesus Christ. What an awful way. Instantly forgot you gave us your fact.
29:39 Speaker 03 Oh, my god.
29:40 Speaker 02 So, it's a woman, she won the lottery, but her husband didn't believe her because she'd already pranked him the week before.
29:47 Speaker 03 She'd already pranked him a couple of weeks before. She won a million.
29:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:52 Speaker 03 Or they won a million.
29:53 Speaker 02 Right.
29:54 Speaker 03 But he didn't believe her because she'd done a prank a couple of weeks before pretending that they'd won 250,000. But then in, in the end, he did believe her.
30:05 Speaker 02 In the end, he did.
30:06 Speaker 03 And that's...
30:07 Speaker 02 That's the fact?
30:09 Speaker 03 That's the fact, yeah.
30:10 Speaker 02 Alright.
30:10 Speaker 03 So, might as well do a bit of that anecdote I told a couple of minutes ago. That, that, that, that wasn't, that wasn't a fact. That was...
30:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:19 Speaker 03 Oh, fucking, I mean, this is...
30:22 Speaker 02 I can't do this sober, man.
30:23 Speaker 03 That's, that's honestly like, oh, man. That's like when, that's like at stand-up when the heckle goes, "When does the comedy start?"
30:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:30 Speaker 03 "We're heckling ourselves."
30:31 Speaker 02 You just did that, yeah.
30:33 Speaker 02 Anyway, anyway, moving on. What's, what fact have you guys...
30:38 Speaker 02 Oh no, I have got so much.
30:41 Speaker 03 Why don't we just keep going till it feels like a fact?
30:43 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, I mean.
30:46 Speaker 02 I can say the same thing again, Jones, if you want me to.
30:48 Speaker 03 Well, look, in the, in the course of this, I have, obviously I was looking up April Fools facts and there are some, there's some, I don't often do the sort of list of facts, but I think this is might maybe a time that I, I could do it because there are, there's some good.
31:03 Speaker 02 I stack them, I fact stack.
31:04 Speaker 03 There's some good, because this is a classic time to, to fact stack, I think.
31:08 Speaker 02 It is, it's, again, it's straight from the Pilkington playbook.
31:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, if that wasn't good.
31:13 Speaker 02 Because he's always like, he does a bit of monkey news and he goes, oh, have you heard about a monkey that got married or something like that? And then he goes, that's not the monkey news, by the way.
31:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:22 Speaker 02 So I think he'll, like, he feels it out and he's like, that's not, I'll just chuck that on you, on, on for you for nothing. And I always, I think I've got about five. It's good, it's.
31:32 Speaker 03 And it's obvious that it, well, I suppose it, it, it probably was the monkey news. It's like when you're, when I'm playing I Spy with my daughter. I'll, I'll guess it.
31:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:44 Speaker 03 Correctly.
31:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, you don't want to.
31:46 Speaker 03 It's obvious that that's what she was thinking of, but then she'll pretend that it wasn't that and she'll go, no, and you're like.
31:52 Speaker 02 Well, come on.
31:53 Speaker 03 Come on. What else is there, there that's purple?
31:56 Speaker 02 Exactly.
31:57 Speaker 03 The other thing she does is she will give a colour and it's obvious she just hasn't come up with anything.
32:04 Speaker 02 Oh, right.
32:04 Speaker 03 And I've just got to find something.
32:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, they are sneaky. They are sneaky.
32:09 Speaker 03 Quite sneaky.
32:10 Speaker 02 This is, um, so this is what, this is why I need to be a bit buzzed.
32:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:16 Speaker 02 They call it in America. Because you've got this energy and I usually will cut you off or like try and, try and lift this up a little bit.
32:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:28 Speaker 02 And everyone has a go at me in the comments and they go, will you let him finish the sentence? And I have to go, he won't, he won't finish it. He will not finish the sentence. And I'll just keep asking him the same question over and over again when I'm sober. Um, but seriously, do you have a flat fact for us? Shall we move on to fact check?
32:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:48 Speaker 02 Let's try and I've massively derailed this.
32:52 Speaker 03 No, but do you want, but do you, would you, would you, would you like to uh, hear some other April Fool's Day things that have happened? Cause I did look up some other ones. So for example, the, well, maybe I'll end up with one of yours.
33:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't want to. Have you got Patrick Moore one?
33:08 Speaker 02 I can't remember.
33:13 Speaker 02 I can't remember. I only looked him up about.
33:15 Speaker 03 Okay. Well, let's not, we won't do the Patrick Moore one.
33:18 Speaker 06 Why don't we do a quick fire after we've heard James's right at the end?
33:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:21 Speaker 06 Quick fire.
33:22 Speaker 02 If I don't have a Patrick Moore one, cause I do like Patrick Moore.
33:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:26 Speaker 02 Um, you know, all the star stuff that he did.
33:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:29 Speaker 02 And um, Games Master and all that.
33:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:31 Speaker 02 Um, hey, let's move on to fact check for the love of God. This is the part of the episode where we um, read a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're going to have a good old think during the break and decide how, how real it feels to us. Um, so this week's fact check comes from Lewis who has asked, hi Cartwright and Cooper.
33:52 Speaker 03 Nice.
33:53 Speaker 02 Uh, Lewis here, long time listener, first time WhatsApp messenger.
33:58 Speaker 03 Do you think that's his surname if he's doing our surnames from?
34:02 Speaker 02 Lewis.
34:03 Speaker 03 Between us.
34:03 Speaker 02 Might be, yeah.
34:03 Speaker 03 Could be, couldn't it?
34:05 Speaker 02 Might be.
34:05 Speaker 03 Should be really, just for consistency.
34:08 Speaker 02 I would hope that it's his first and last.
34:10 Speaker 03 Lewis Lewis.
34:11 Speaker 02 Lewis Lewis.
34:12 Speaker 03 Maybe he's from Lewis.
34:14 Speaker 02 Yeah. Oh, here we go. Oh, this is a good one.
34:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was, it was fairly, it was pretty finished up, to be fair. I don't know what, I genuinely don't know why I said that.
34:26 Speaker 02 This is a good one. Um, it says, do all animals have a mating season? And if so, why don't us humans have a mating season? Or do we? I don't know if this is a fact question or not, but interesting to know why and who better to ask than you guys?
34:40 Speaker 03 Correct. There isn't anyone better to ask.
34:41 Speaker 02 Absolutely. So um, we're going to get on the case and we'll be back, back with the facts, stats.
34:52 Speaker 00 Hot flashes, rage crying, forgetting words mid-sent-ten. Yeah, we know. Menopause is a lot. Midi Health gets it. That's why Midi offers virtual healthcare specially tailored to women's needs. Built for women, by women. Every symptom, every stage, every question. Visit joinmidi.com to get started today. That's join M-I-D-I dot com. Individual results and coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage.
35:24 Speaker 07 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit and search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
36:08 Speaker 03 So, it's her, it's her birthday.
36:10 Speaker 02 It's Claire's birthday today.
36:11 Speaker 03 You're going to Manchester.
36:12 Speaker 02 I'm going to Manchester. I've just left.
36:14 Speaker 03 Hey, I've got a joke. Is that, is that the birthday present? You getting out of her hair?
36:18 Speaker 02 Well, that's what I said to her yesterday, to the kids.
36:23 Speaker 02 Cause I went, you know, it's mum's birthday tomorrow.
36:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:26 Speaker 02 So I hope you guys are going to make her feel special. Cause I'm going, I'm leaving. I'm leaving for the day. And they were like, what are you doing for her? I went, well, I'm leaving for the day.
36:35 Speaker 03 There you go.
36:37 Speaker 02 And Claire was like, yeah, it'd be nice.
36:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:40 Speaker 02 Not bought her anything for her birthday either. Not bought her anything.
36:44 Speaker 03 Not bought her anything.
36:45 Speaker 02 She's going to Paris. Um with some friends for a few days for a hen do.
36:51 Speaker 03 Okay.
36:52 Speaker 02 And I said, well, instead of me buying something really expensive that you don't like.
36:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:57 Speaker 02 Why don't you go to Paris, which famously is a really good place to shop, isn't it? Get yourself something.
37:03 Speaker 03 Good point.
37:04 Speaker 02 Special.
37:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:06 Speaker 02 You know. Something that maybe costs a few quid, treat yourself, it's your birthday, and then you get something that you really want. Instead of me wasting money.
37:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:17 Speaker 02 But I know what she's like, she'll just be like, nah. Nah, there wasn't really anything that I really, really wanted.
37:24 Speaker 03 There wasn't much in the boutiques of Paris.
37:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, there wasn't anything there. There wasn't one thing in Paris.
37:29 Speaker 03 They haven't got anything out there. There's, there's no good shops in Paris.
37:33 Speaker 02 So we'll see how that works out.
37:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
37:36 Speaker 02 Um.
37:37 Speaker 03 It's hard, isn't it? Like, but like, by the time you get into. You know, the kind of, the time you've got the kind of years on the clock in a relationship that, you know, you and you and me do.
37:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
37:49 Speaker 03 It is hard to come up with stuff.
37:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's, there's mileage there, isn't there?
37:53 Speaker 03 You start kind of, well, you risk just kind of going around again. I don't mind going around again. I'm happy to receive just duplicates of stuff I've got ten years ago. Or even just getting things fixed.
38:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:05 Speaker 03 I've got a bag I'd quite like fixed. Maybe that's something I can get done for my birthday.
38:09 Speaker 02 You can do that while you're getting your keys cut, probably.
38:11 Speaker 03 I could actually.
38:13 Speaker 03 Get my what cut?
38:14 Speaker 02 Keys cut.
38:15 Speaker 03 You get keys cut?
38:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:17 Speaker 03 Have I done my fact yet?
38:18 Speaker 02 Yeah. Anyway, um.
38:21 Speaker 03 That's a fact, you can get keys cut. That's blown my mind.
38:25 Speaker 02 Just before Joe's fact, um we've got a fact here from Lewis. Who wants us to um finally get to the bottom of um whether all animals have a mating season.
38:36 Speaker 03 Including humans.
38:38 Speaker 02 Including humans, which is interesting.
38:40 Speaker 03 It's a really interesting question.
38:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm guessing humans don't. Otherwise we'd all just be born.
38:48 Speaker 03 We'd all be born.
38:49 Speaker 02 All at the same time.
38:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, they'd be like birthday.
38:52 Speaker 02 Yeah. Um, however, I do think a lot of kids are born September, October, because of like, sort of a drunken Christmas fumble.
39:04 Speaker 03 I would assume that Christmas is a, uh, now I've, no, so I've, a little fact about, um, my family.
39:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:12 Speaker 03 My birthday is the twenty eighth of October.
39:14 Speaker 02 Right.
39:15 Speaker 03 And my, uh, I've got three younger brothers, the, the oldest of them. His birthday is the twenty eighth of July.
39:22 Speaker 02 Right.
39:22 Speaker 03 Which is exactly nine months after my first birthday.
39:26 Speaker 02 Right.
39:27 Speaker 03 So I'm assuming that that got out of hand.
39:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. So they just went straight away again.
39:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:34 Speaker 02 So there's.
39:34 Speaker 03 So there was a big party for my first birthday.
39:37 Speaker 02 There's nine months difference between you and your brother.
39:40 Speaker 03 No, one, one year and nine months. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, one year and nine months. So. So, yeah. Yeah. And then, um.
39:50 Speaker 02 I don't know what I'm supposed to make from that.
39:52 Speaker 03 And, and Hannah's birthday.
39:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:56 Speaker 03 Is the twenty eighth of December.
40:00 Speaker 02 Right.
40:01 Speaker 03 So there's all these twenty eights.
40:03 Speaker 02 It's the twenty eight is the thing that you're, you're giving me.
40:07 Speaker 03 There's all this twenty eight stuff going around.
40:08 Speaker 02 Right. Uh, what do you think about, um, animals and today all animals meeting season?
40:14 Speaker 03 Now, it's a great question because I think actually probably most animals, it seems to me, do. I've watched the Attenborough stuff.
40:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:22 Speaker 03 They're always seem to be like, even if it's fish, there's always like a big cloud of fish sperm in the water, isn't there?
40:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, those salmon.
40:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:30 Speaker 02 That's depressing.
40:31 Speaker 03 And then it washes up, doesn't it?
40:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:32 Speaker 03 And then I think bears eat it, the dirty birds.
40:35 Speaker 02 They love it. Um, but I do, um, yeah, they love a bit of salmon spunk.
40:39 Speaker 03 They do. They do.
40:40 Speaker 02 I would say, I actually think most animals don't.
40:44 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
40:45 Speaker 02 I think your, um, your glamour animals.
40:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:48 Speaker 02 The Attenborough loves to get involved with.
40:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:51 Speaker 02 The salmon.
40:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:52 Speaker 02 The hyenas.
40:53 Speaker 03 The ones on the big BBC salaries.
40:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, those ones. They, um, your bears, obviously they're seasonal.
41:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:01 Speaker 02 Um, but if you think about like rodents and rabbits, I mean, they famously.
41:10 Speaker 03 They do.
41:10 Speaker 02 They they they're at it like rabbits.
41:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:13 Speaker 02 Rabbits.
41:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, but aren't you maybe coming up with animals that don't have a mating.
41:16 Speaker 02 That's what I'm talking about.
41:16 Speaker 03 Okay.
41:17 Speaker 02 I don't I don't think they do. I think they just they just fuck all year round.
41:20 Speaker 03 No, but I think they I think that they do have a mating season because I believe where this isn't a rabbit, but um an adjacent species, hares, the phrase mad as a March hare is meant to mean that the hares are they're on they're on heat, they're all randy, yeah.
41:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, randy.
41:38 Speaker 03 So um uh.
41:40 Speaker 02 I feel like a rabbit. I feel like if you left two rabbits alone,
41:45 Speaker 02 they'd they'd have it off of each other, no matter what time of year it was.
41:50 Speaker 03 Animals must, do they just not have sex for the whole rest of the year?
41:54 Speaker 02 But that's what I'm thinking. They must do. I don't think.
41:57 Speaker 03 I think I heard.
41:58 Speaker 02 Like I say, I don't think deers or any of those ones on Attenborough, but um.
42:04 Speaker 03 I think I I think I heard some cats having sex last night.
42:08 Speaker 02 Oh, they're always, again, they're they're always at it, although um my old dog pays.
42:13 Speaker 03 But then again, we are kind of in mating season at the moment.
42:16 Speaker 02 Are we?
42:16 Speaker 03 Well, it's spring, isn't it? It's spring, yeah.
42:18 Speaker 02 So every they're all just having it off.
42:20 Speaker 03 They're all out there, like, just, yeah. I think I, to me, it seems as though there is a yearly cycle and the animals go, they go to one place to feed.
42:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:30 Speaker 03 And then another place to mate.
42:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:32 Speaker 03 And then that's sort of it, isn't it?
42:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, like.
42:36 Speaker 03 That's all they do, isn't it?
42:37 Speaker 02 I I do think it's propaganda, though. I do think it's a propaganda, because every time I think of mating season, I'm I do think of like hammerhead sharks when they do that amazing drone shot of the millions of hammerhead sharks all coming together because it's mating season. And yeah, it makes good TV. But you're right.
42:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
42:58 Speaker 02 You're right, they're gonna be doing it whenever.
43:02 Speaker 03 Maybe they don't clump together in large groups, rats, but.
43:07 Speaker 02 And they all do it with each other as well, don't matter. I think they're all siblings and whatnot. They don't seem to care about that sort of stuff.
43:14 Speaker 03 I think most animals do that. I don't, I don't think, I don't think they're like, uh, you know, they're not like, they haven't got the Iceland, they have the Iceland problem where on, on the dating apps in Iceland, you have to be quite careful that you don't end up with someone who's basically related to you.
43:29 Speaker 02 Right. So is that something that's?
43:31 Speaker 03 It's a, it's a problem that they have because it's such a small population.
43:34 Speaker 02 So if you're not related to any of them, that's, that's a pro, that's a plus.
43:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:40 Speaker 02 Right.
43:40 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:41 Speaker 02 Well, me and Claire ever split up, I might.
43:43 Speaker 03 Over you go.
43:44 Speaker 02 Sign up to a dating app.
43:45 Speaker 03 You were like, well, I've got, I've got one big positive in my column. Absolutely not relate to any of you.
43:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:49 Speaker 03 So.
43:50 Speaker 02 I'll put.
43:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:51 Speaker 02 Failed husband and father.
43:55 Speaker 03 But.
43:56 Speaker 02 Probably not related.
43:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
43:59 Speaker 02 So.
43:59 Speaker 03 Um, yeah. So, I mean, I, I, but let's move on to the second part of Lewis's question, which is do, do humans?
44:07 Speaker 02 No, I don't, I think humans evolved to not have a season.
44:13 Speaker 03 Yes, we, um, but what, what about our nearest and dearest chimpanzees and bonobos? Do they?
44:21 Speaker 02 No, I, I think they.
44:25 Speaker 02 Don't they also have it off for fun as well? Not for just.
44:28 Speaker 03 Dolphins do.
44:29 Speaker 02 I think bonobos do. They're always wanking, I know that much. Whenever you go to the zoo or whatever.
44:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
44:35 Speaker 02 So they must like.
44:36 Speaker 03 They must like it.
44:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:39 Speaker 03 Yeah. They, yeah, they, they presumably.
44:43 Speaker 02 Yeah. What are we saying then, Joe? Cause we've got to come up with one or the other.
44:48 Speaker 03 I think, I think we can, I think we, we can say that humans certainly do not have a mating season.
44:52 Speaker 02 Of course they don't.
44:53 Speaker 03 But.
44:53 Speaker 02 I mean, also.
44:54 Speaker 03 And I would say that also.
44:55 Speaker 02 Lewis, you are a human.
44:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know.
44:58 Speaker 02 You could have answered that own.
45:00 Speaker 03 Yeah.
45:00 Speaker 02 Unless you're a dog or something.
45:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, he hasn't, doesn't say it, does he?
45:03 Speaker 02 A dog with a mobile phone.
45:06 Speaker 02 But I was gonna say, my dog, she used to have two seasons, um, where she'd start like bleeding all over the kitchen and stuff.
45:15 Speaker 02 Twice a year. It used to be like towards the end of the year and sort of springtime. It'd be like before and after summer.
45:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
45:25 Speaker 02 So I don't know. I don't know, Lewis. You've stumped us, mate.
45:29 Speaker 03 Um.
45:29 Speaker 02 Apart from the human thing.
45:32 Speaker 03 I, uh, just think that by the time you're talking about an animal that's as sophisticated as a human being that has multiple ways of, uh, kind of socialising. I I just think you're kind of superseding all that, aren't you? I think you're probably, you you're probably like, you've got.
46:01 Speaker 02 You've gone beyond.
46:02 Speaker 03 It's up to you.
46:03 Speaker 02 You've gone beyond seasons.
46:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, you've gone beyond just kind of having these very, very big kind of biological switches. I think you're you're, um, uh,
46:16 Speaker 03 well, I mean, also, I mean, we we know that they don't. I I mean, yeah, so we, yeah, I don't I don't know. I don't know what to say. I mean,
46:25 Speaker 03 yeah.
46:26 Speaker 02 Well, listen.
46:27 Speaker 03 As you say, if if it was the case, that would mean that we'd have all these, you have whole bits of the year where it was no one's birthday.
46:34 Speaker 02 Exac- yeah, exactly. Everyone would just be born in September.
46:37 Speaker 03 The birth the birthday time would become like Christmas. It'd be like, you know, the high street would be like, it's birth, it's like birth birthday land.
46:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
46:45 Speaker 03 Time.
46:45 Speaker 02 And we'd all have to. And also, everyone's birthday would be shit.
46:49 Speaker 03 No one would be able to go to anyone else's birthday.
46:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
46:51 Speaker 03 Can you come? Well, I can't. That's mine.
46:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's my birthday.
46:56 Speaker 02 It's supposed to be like Christmas again, wouldn't it?
46:58 Speaker 03 We'd have to have one huge marquee for everyone.
47:01 Speaker 02 Yeah. Well, um, to quote a great man, um, do all animals have mating seasons? Can do. Some like it, some don't.
47:14 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:15 Speaker 02 That's what I'm going with.
47:16 Speaker 03 Some like it, some don't.
47:17 Speaker 02 I'm gonna, I'm gonna go not, I'm gonna go, if the question is, do all animals have mating seasons, I'm gonna say no.
47:22 Speaker 03 I'm not, I'm I'm actually, I'm almost, I I don't wanna, I'm just wondering whether actually maybe they do or have mating seasons, but just not humans. But we're saying no. Okay, we'll say no.
47:32 Speaker 02 Oh, I'm just, just.
47:33 Speaker 03 No, they don't.
47:34 Speaker 02 The ma- the mouse.
47:38 Speaker 02 The mouse.
47:38 Speaker 03 I think you're, I think, I think you're assuming that a mating season has to be, they literally all congregate in one massive area.
47:44 Speaker 02 No, but even just like, no, I don't mean that. I just mean.
47:49 Speaker 02 The mouse is going about their business and then when it gets to spring, they're like, oh, let's have it off. I think they're doing it all year round. They've got to be.
47:57 Speaker 03 Um.
48:00 Speaker 02 Cause also the lifespan of a mouse, what's that, two years or something? They can't just have two. Two, uh, two.
48:09 Speaker 03 Some animals do though. So some animals, they, they, they're born, they mate.
48:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
48:15 Speaker 03 They produce offspring and then they die.
48:16 Speaker 02 That's it, like bu- a butterfly, some butterflies, they're like only around for a day, aren't they?
48:22 Speaker 03 Pilkington call one, didn't he?
48:23 Speaker 02 Yeah. Well, he just, he waited until tomorrow.
48:25 Speaker 03 And his mum said, don't catch it. They had another day. He said, I'll just, I'll get a dead one tomorrow then.
48:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. Um, can we go, um, Pete's, Pete's in charge today, by the way. Um, Pete, can we, what's, what's the, um, we're gonna, I'm, I'm saying, I'm gonna.
48:38 Speaker 03 You're saying no.
48:39 Speaker 02 I'm gonna rule, I'm gonna say no.
48:40 Speaker 03 Okay, fine. I, I think.
48:42 Speaker 02 Joe disagrees.
48:42 Speaker 03 I do, well, no, I think maybe they could be, it could be more than, um, maybe some are biannual or triannual or.
48:49 Speaker 02 Well, there we go. Well, yeah, I suppose.
48:51 Speaker 03 Well.
48:52 Speaker 02 But I don't think all animals.
48:53 Speaker 03 I don't, I, let's say that, all right, fine. Yeah, okay, no, I'm just saying no. I, I, I think.
48:59 Speaker 02 All animals. That's what he's asking.
49:01 Speaker 03 Animals.
49:02 Speaker 02 Even so.
49:03 Speaker 03 All animals.
49:04 Speaker 02 If we're gonna play the law of averages, even if there's just one animal that doesn't have a mating season, then we're, we're correct.
49:11 Speaker 03 Okay, okay, fine. Okay. Based on the fact that this is a rich and varied world.
49:16 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
49:17 Speaker 03 Let's say no. Because actually I don't know.
49:20 Speaker 02 Go on.
49:22 Speaker 06 So, no, not all animals have mating seasons.
49:24 Speaker 02 Well done. Perfect.
49:25 Speaker 06 There's three types of breeders. Do you want to know the types of breeders?
49:27 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
49:28 Speaker 06 So seasonal breeders, which is mating seasons.
49:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:32 Speaker 06 Uh, opportunistic breeders, which is your mouse. They've got loads, they've got loads of.
49:37 Speaker 03 Yeah. You were right about the mouse.
49:38 Speaker 06 So when they've got loads of food or it's, the weather's good.
49:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:43 Speaker 06 That's when they'll have it off. And then, uh, continuous breeders, which is humans.
49:48 Speaker 02 Who, um, what, and are there any animals that are continuous breeders?
49:53 Speaker 06 Uh.
49:55 Speaker 02 Just to give me an idea of what, because I thought I thought the mouse would have been a continuous breeder, but they're just um.
50:01 Speaker 06 Apes, monkeys, cats, dogs, tigers and lions.
50:04 Speaker 02 Right.
50:05 Speaker 03 Wow, continuous breeders.
50:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:07 Speaker 03 Well, that was, that's, you know, I hate to say it, but that was, I genuinely learnt something there.
50:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:16 Speaker 03 Thank you, Lewis, Lewis the cat, or whoever you are.
50:19 Speaker 02 What episode? We're, is this episode twenty six?
50:22 Speaker 06 Yeah.
50:23 Speaker 02 That's the first time we've learnt something so far.
50:26 Speaker 03 And I don't like it.
50:28 Speaker 02 So it's sort of about a year, aren't we? Uh, twice a year, we'll learn something.
50:34 Speaker 03 Twice a year, we'll learn something.
50:35 Speaker 02 We'll learn something.
50:35 Speaker 06 Learning season.
50:36 Speaker 02 Um.
50:37 Speaker 03 Learning season.
50:37 Speaker 02 It's learning season right now.
50:39 Speaker 03 Yeah, once a year, we're not continuous, absolutely not.
50:42 Speaker 02 Um.
50:42 Speaker 03 Absolutely not.
50:43 Speaker 02 I've got a, I've got a foolish fact for you today.
50:47 Speaker 03 Oh, hello.
50:47 Speaker 02 Joe, um, I was just, um, doing a little bit of research and I was, uh, trying to find out. Um, what the worst April Fools trick has ever been played? I've got a couple for you here. Uh, in at number one is Google's Mic Drop Gmail prank. I don't hundred percent understand this one. One of the most infamous modern April Fools failures. In twenty sixteen, Google added a mic drop button to Gmail. Clicking it sent your email plus a minions gif dropping a microphone and muted the entire thread, preventing further replies.
51:31 Speaker 02 So it just stopped, stopped anyone from being able to email back. The problem was people accidentally used it on serious work emails.
51:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
51:40 Speaker 02 So it meant that nobody could reply or carry on the discussion.
51:43 Speaker 03 It sounds very similar to just a virus.
51:46 Speaker 02 Some users reportedly sent it to bosses, clients and job recruiters. The backlash was so fast that Google disabled the feature within hours and issued a public apology. I hate that everyone's got to apologize for stuff all the time.
52:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, we, we over apologize.
52:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:02 Speaker 03 We, we certainly do.
52:04 Speaker 02 Um, here's another one for you, Joe. Uh, BBC's spaghetti tree hoax.
52:10 Speaker 02 I sort of vaguely remember this, not that I was there, it was in nineteen fifty seven, but.
52:15 Speaker 03 I've, I've, I've heard tell of this.
52:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, um, this is often called the most famous April Fools prank in history. Uh, the BBC aired a documentary on Panorama.
52:25 Speaker 03 That is.
52:25 Speaker 02 Quite a serious.
52:27 Speaker 03 Waste of Panorama's time.
52:29 Speaker 02 Um, showing Swiss farmers harvesting spaghetti from trees. At the time, spaghetti was unfamiliar to many people in the UK.
52:39 Speaker 02 Hundreds of viewers called the BBC asking how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. The BBC reportedly replied, um, place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.
52:51 Speaker 03 I like that.
52:51 Speaker 02 Good. So, yeah, so that was before, so twenty sixteen, Google's apologising.
52:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:58 Speaker 02 Nineteen fifty seven, uh, people going.
53:01 Speaker 03 BBC like, let the laughs continue.
53:03 Speaker 02 BBC, BBC doubling down.
53:04 Speaker 03 Doubling down.
53:05 Speaker 02 Cause just having a laugh, everyone's having a laugh.
53:07 Speaker 03 For heaven's sake, yeah.
53:09 Speaker 02 In nineteen ninety six, um, Taco Bell claimed they had purchased the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell.
53:19 Speaker 03 Can I just ask, and sorry if, if, you know, this makes me an ignoramus.
53:24 Speaker 02 Go on.
53:24 Speaker 03 What is the Liberty Bell?
53:26 Speaker 02 It's the bell with the crack in it. It's in Philadelphia, isn't it? It's something to do with, um.
53:30 Speaker 03 Is this an American Revolution thing?
53:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:32 Speaker 03 So again, it's due to, I know a lot about history.
53:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:37 Speaker 03 And actually, it's just, this is a gap in the.
53:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, they don't do American Revolution yet.
53:42 Speaker 03 People's knowledge of history.
53:44 Speaker 02 But yeah, no, um, I don't know a lot about it, um, but there's a famous bell, I think it's in Philadelphia.
53:50 Speaker 03 And they were gonna call it the, um.
53:51 Speaker 02 It's the Liberty Bell. I can't remember why it's called the Liberty Bell or what.
53:55 Speaker 03 That reminds me of that April Fools thing that Trump did, where he said he was gonna rename the Kennedy Centre, the Trump Kennedys. Oh, no, I know he did actually do that.
54:03 Speaker 02 Um.
54:04 Speaker 03 Cause that'd be, that'd be like unbelievably crass and in really poor, and he did actually, oh, he did actually do it.
54:08 Speaker 02 Well, Taco Bell did something similar.
54:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
54:10 Speaker 02 They, um, they, they claimed they'd bought the bell and they were calling it the Taco Liberty Bell. Many Americans believed it and were furious. Uh, the National Park Service received hundreds of angry calls and Taco Bell revealed the prank later that morning. Despite the outrage, it became one of the most successful PR stunts ever.
54:30 Speaker 03 I think it's a fine.
54:33 Speaker 02 Cause that's how people.
54:33 Speaker 03 They can actually buy it.
54:34 Speaker 02 That's how people work, don't they? They go, what? This is a sacred part of American history. And Taco Bell are labelling it. They've, they've commercialised the Liberty Bell. They're calling it the Taco Liberty Bell. I am furious. I'm also hungry now as well. So I better grab a Taco Bell before.
54:55 Speaker 03 Yeah. I, I mean, yeah. All publicity is good publicity.
54:59 Speaker 02 Um. In twenty twenty one, um Volkswagen announced um that they were gonna rename its US division Volkswagen. Vol- it's not his vault. That's that type of vault. Um to highlight electric vehicles.
55:15 Speaker 03 That's not, that's not funny. That's just a sort of. Oh, oh, what a laugh.
55:20 Speaker 02 The only problem, the only problem was, and here's your, um, here's the world that we live in. So this was back in twenty twenty one. This is the world that we're living in now, is that major news outlets reported it as real.
55:33 Speaker 03 Okay.
55:33 Speaker 02 So, and I do think, and I can't remember who, who I was listening to talking about it, is that we are, we are moving into a phase now. We've, we're coming out of the misinformation phase. Um, where, a- and now we're so paranoid and do not believe anything.
55:51 Speaker 03 Hmm.
55:52 Speaker 02 Um, that we, it doesn't matter if it's off the internet, it doesn't matter if it's on the six o'clock news. We won't, we just won't believe it fully until we are like, we see actual proof.
56:04 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
56:04 Speaker 02 Because of things like this.
56:06 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
56:06 Speaker 02 Where Volkswagen do a little April Fools joke on April Fools Day, by the way. And major news outlets start going, they renamed it. Can you believe that? And I don't know whether even they believed that it was true, but they just go, oh, this will get a lot of comments. And that's what the news has become.
56:26 Speaker 03 We've got.
56:27 Speaker 02 Even serious, actual sort of reputable um organisations that used to just give you facts and just go, this is what's happened today. Now they're basically TikTokers.
56:42 Speaker 03 Did so, did they, did they think, they, they thought it was real or they were in on the joke? They thought it was real?
56:49 Speaker 02 I don't know whether they did think it was real or not, but they were just like, well, they're claiming it to be real. So that, so that's it.
56:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:54 Speaker 02 All we need to do.
56:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:56 Speaker 02 We've, we've, they've, Volkswagen have said this, so that's fact now. And so we report that as news.
57:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
57:03 Speaker 02 And that will get a lot of people commenting on our.
57:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, I, I, it's, it's a shame that.
57:08 Speaker 02 Daily Mail have a TikTok account, right? And it is nuts. I can't remember exactly what they've been saying on it. But it was reporting on something and it was just like, this is nuts. And all the comments were like, hey, are you okay, Daily Mail?
57:24 Speaker 03 Right.
57:27 Speaker 02 Are you, are you okay? Are you all right? You're the Daily Mail. It was like, you're the Daily Mail.
57:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
57:33 Speaker 02 Why? It'd be like, some YouTuber did this.
57:37 Speaker 03 I mean, it's, it's very difficult, isn't it? Because if you, if you're going to say the way that we fund our news is by getting people to click on it. Then sort of by definition, just anything that people click on, you kind of have a financial obligation to put on your website.
57:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's.
57:55 Speaker 03 So the whole thing's completely upside down.
57:57 Speaker 02 There's less, I mean, the news has always been like that. We've always, we've always been aware that the news can sensationalize stuff. Because it used to, if you had a sensational, sensational headline on the front page, it would sell papers.
58:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:11 Speaker 02 And it's just evolved.
58:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:13 Speaker 02 And carried on.
58:14 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:15 Speaker 02 But now it's just really.
58:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:17 Speaker 02 Like we need to sort of.
58:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:19 Speaker 02 There needs to be some sort of stop. We've got, we've got, there's got to be some end game. We've got to have some little reset somewhere.
58:28 Speaker 03 As an, as an institution.
58:32 Speaker 03 I was listening to something recently about like.
58:33 Speaker 02 I've seen stuff about me, like at my level, like it's not even going to get clicks because no one gives a fuck about me. But I've read stuff about me and I go, hmm, I didn't know that.
58:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean.
58:46 Speaker 02 That's completely made up. But you're allowed, you're allowed to just say that, are you?
58:51 Speaker 03 It does, yes. It seems like it's kind of, it's out of control.
58:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:57 Speaker 03 I mean, yeah, I, I, yeah, you, it would be good if, but also, I mean, you know, we should say, because I know that, you know,
59:07 Speaker 02 and I.
59:07 Speaker 03 Lots of serious news organisations will listen to this.
59:09 Speaker 02 They will, yeah.
59:09 Speaker 03 And it's very important, you know, there are, there are good news organisations, there are, there are, there are better and worse models. And, um.
59:20 Speaker 02 Which is why we only talk about the facts on this show. We don't wanna, we don't wanna feed into this, um, loop that's going on.
59:27 Speaker 03 I know it's.
59:28 Speaker 02 We only talk about the truth and facts.
59:29 Speaker 03 We are.
59:31 Speaker 02 And when I've seen stuff about me, by the way, that's not true, I don't mean it's like, are we saying that because it was probably something embarrassing? No, no, those stuff are usually true.
59:39 Speaker 03 No, yeah, yeah.
59:40 Speaker 02 The stuff where it's like, good, right?
59:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
59:43 Speaker 02 James Buckley's done this.
59:44 Speaker 03 Hmm.
59:44 Speaker 02 He's made this much money. I go, I mean, it's nice that people think that, but I know for a fact it's not true.
59:51 Speaker 03 And that's, you know, we, we just believe passionately in the truth, don't we?
59:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:54 Speaker 03 And.
59:55 Speaker 02 I wonder if I could take that news article to my bank manager? And I'll go, look, see?
1:00:01 Speaker 03 Look at that, yeah.
1:00:01 Speaker 02 This is the news, by the way. And I go, oh, right. Well, we must be wrong. Let me just put a few more zeros on your bank account there, James.
1:00:08 Speaker 03 Yeah. Well, I mean, it's the news.
1:00:11 Speaker 02 It is the news. Um, shall we wrap up?
1:00:14 Speaker 03 What are we doing now?
1:00:15 Speaker 02 Well, we're wrapping up, we're done.
1:00:16 Speaker 03 Oh, finished, okay.
1:00:17 Speaker 02 We're done.
1:00:17 Speaker 03 Do you wanna, do you wanna give us your Patrick Moore fact?
1:00:19 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, give it, oh, we can't leave.
1:00:19 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, so Patrick Moore.
1:00:20 Speaker 02 We can't, don't leave us hanging.
1:00:23 Speaker 03 So Patrick Moore did an April Fools prank where he told people that because there was a special alignment of, I think Jupiter and Pluto.
1:00:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:33 Speaker 03 That evening.
1:00:35 Speaker 02 Pluto.
1:00:36 Speaker 03 Pluto and Jupiter.
1:00:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, they're very far apart.
1:00:38 Speaker 03 Gravity would very briefly not apply on Earth.
1:00:42 Speaker 02 Right.
1:00:43 Speaker 03 So he said, if you jump up in the air at seven thirty this evening, you'll be able to fly? And so he was on the telly and he went, okay, three, two, one, jump. And lots of people did it.
1:00:54 Speaker 02 Amazing.
1:00:55 Speaker 03 One person hit their head on a shelf and, and someone else said that they had flown, they couldn't get down.
1:01:02 Speaker 03 So I don't know what happened to them.
1:01:03 Speaker 02 My kids tried to say that to me a couple of weeks ago. They were literally like, oh, apparently next Tuesday, um, we're, we're gonna have no gravity for four seconds. And I went, that's not, I was like, that's not gonna happen. They were like, is that true, Dad? I went, no, it's not. It's definitely not. I was like, that would be the end. That would be the end of the world. If we lost gravity for four seconds, absolutely everything that isn't planted into the core of this planet would just fly away. Everything would go.
1:01:34 Speaker 03 I suppose it.
1:01:35 Speaker 02 Cause we're travelling, I mean, I don't know the, the facts, but we're, we're spinning very quickly.
1:01:40 Speaker 03 We are moving on.
1:01:41 Speaker 02 And if there was no gravity there involved, we would just get flung. We would just get flung out to space. Surely.
1:01:47 Speaker 03 Right. You're right. Tuesday or not.
1:01:49 Speaker 02 Tuesday. I don't care what day it is.
1:01:51 Speaker 03 Yeah. No, and gravity, you know, the, the anti-gravity.
1:01:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:55 Speaker 03 It doesn't give a fuck about your schedule.
1:01:57 Speaker 02 Doesn't, mate.
1:01:57 Speaker 03 You can't go, well, I've got a meeting at 1.30. Not anymore.
1:02:01 Speaker 02 Anyway.
1:02:01 Speaker 03 See meetings with a black hole.
1:02:03 Speaker 02 Let's, um. Let's wrap this up.
1:02:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:02:07 Speaker 02 Um, I'm all fact out. What have we learnt today, Joe? I can't, I can't remember.
1:02:11 Speaker 03 Well, you, you forgot my fact immediately.
1:02:13 Speaker 02 Well, oh, no, yes, sorry. Before we go, do you wanna give us your fact? Um, no.
1:02:17 Speaker 03 Also, the Patrick Moore fact was great.
1:02:19 Speaker 02 Patrick Moore.
1:02:19 Speaker 03 That was a better one, wasn't it?
1:02:20 Speaker 02 That was much better.
1:02:22 Speaker 03 I don't know. I always do. I, I, I just, um, you know what? I'm just, if it comes too easily, I'm like, no.
1:02:27 Speaker 02 That was much better. Um, so we learnt that, um.
1:02:30 Speaker 03 I work too hard.
1:02:31 Speaker 02 We learnt a woman won, won the lottery once. We learnt that, um, Patrick Moore made everyone jump in, jump, jump up in the air.
1:02:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:02:39 Speaker 02 Um, we learnt that, um, not all animals have a mating season. And I said some stuff as well about the taco liberty bell. Um, so there you go. You're welcome. We'll be back next week, armed with more facts, chats and mating acts. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you. Or just any message you wanna get to me and Joe. Our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822 034330. And you can follow us on social media at Joe and James Pods. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. And make sure you listen to next week's episode for, um, cause if you thought this one was bad.
1:03:18 Speaker 02 Uh, I'm, I'll be even more sober and tired next week. So, um, Ja- Ja- Sober James, part two.
1:03:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:26 Speaker 02 Next week. Stay tuned. Bye, guys.
1:03:28 Speaker 03 Bye.
1:03:29 Speaker 02 Thanks.
1:03:33 Speaker 08 Joe and James, fucked up!
1:03:42 Speaker 07 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, is the night's drawing, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit in search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
Previous Which Tech Bro Could James Take? Next Why You Don’t Want To Interview James Buckley Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated