Pod Insights Joe and James Fact Up Jesus Is Sugababes And Also Doctor Who About this episode This week Joe Thomas and James Buckley get into the Christmas spirit by discussing if they could beat Santa up. James brings a fact that connects Mithras to Sugababes and Joe shares a story about how he got locked in a hotel room in Iceland...
PLUS the Fact Boys make a very important ruling on whether Santa Claus is 'factually' real...
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Transcript 12,322 words · 8 speakers
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0:33 Speaker 01 Network freedom and flexibility, that's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
1:06 Speaker 02 Do you want to know a little secret about Aldi?
1:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, go on.
1:09 Speaker 02 So, again, this is very, I don't know if it's true or not, but it's definitely a fact.
1:15 Speaker 03 Sure.
1:17 Speaker 02 Because my wife's aunt.
1:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:20 Speaker 02 She's big in the meat industry.
1:24 Speaker 03 Big old.
1:24 Speaker 02 She's really high up.
1:25 Speaker 03 She's a big swinging blade in the abattoir.
1:28 Speaker 02 She's an executive in meat. And so she supplies meat to both Marks and Spencer's and Aldi.
1:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:37 Speaker 02 Same meat boy.
1:40 Speaker 03 Wow.
1:40 Speaker 02 It's the same meat boy, just different packaging.
1:43 Speaker 03 That's amazing.
1:45 Speaker 02 Because I was telling you, they do that, what's that ham called?
1:48 Speaker 03 Iberico.
1:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:50 Speaker 02 Spanish, sort of Portuguese, like Iberian, I suppose.
1:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, I suppose it is. They've made the pigs a.
1:57 Speaker 02 If you can find it, they sell out really quickly, but if you can get it.
2:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:01 Speaker 02 In Aldi, because if my neighbor sees it, he always gets me one. It's that little thing, and you get a little knife with it as well.
2:08 Speaker 03 Oh, it's the whole.
2:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's on, it's a very, it's not like a big leg.
2:12 Speaker 03 It's not the whole leg, but it's.
2:13 Speaker 02 It's a small part of it.
2:15 Speaker 03 That's amazing.
2:15 Speaker 02 It comes on a little wooden.
2:18 Speaker 02 Display thing.
2:20 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:20 Speaker 02 And it's like in at the right angle and you just shave a bit off.
2:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:24 Speaker 02 We have that in the kitchen, just sat out in the kitchen for about a week and I'm just like walking past just shaving off a bit of ham every now and then.
2:30 Speaker 03 I love a bit of that.
2:30 Speaker 02 Fucking brilliant. But that's it. There you go. So when you're paying those Marks and Spencer's prices.
2:34 Speaker 03 Wow, my goodness. Wow.
2:37 Speaker 02 Same meat.
2:38 Speaker 03 I tell you what. I can't believe it.
2:41 Speaker 02 Hmm.
2:43 Speaker 03 They've eaten acorns, haven't they? Those pigs. The the the ones.
2:46 Speaker 02 Oh, is that what it is?
2:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's why it tastes so nice. The pigs eat acorns and then they um.
2:50 Speaker 02 Do they like the acorns? Oh no, you're gonna put me off this thing. Cause I I don't like eating. Listen, I am a piece of shit. Like I am the a total hypocrite, right? Because I think there is something, I I understand why some people would be vegetarian, because it's like, that I do feel it is a bit much making something possibly suffer and die just so that I can eat it.
3:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, like the foie gras, like that way.
3:13 Speaker 02 Oh, I'll never have.
3:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't have that.
3:15 Speaker 02 Never have shark fin soup. Me and Claire left the restaurant when we found out they had shark fin soup once. We were like.
3:20 Speaker 03 Cause what, they cut the fin off and then the shark has to carry on?
3:22 Speaker 02 Dump the body. They just dump the body back in that. They just, they take a whole shark, they just chop the fin off there. Like, it's awful, isn't it?
3:29 Speaker 03 Have you seen that bit in The Simpsons where they show you how they make a new bowling pin?
3:33 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, and they take a whole tree.
3:34 Speaker 03 They get an entire tree and they throw away all of it apart from the little pin shape in the middle.
3:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, they shave a whole tree down into a bowling pin.
3:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, they shave a whole tree down, yeah.
3:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's pretty much what your shark fin soup is.
3:44 Speaker 03 That's terrible.
3:44 Speaker 02 But I do think there is something sort of noble about. Maybe if I went out into the wilderness with a bow and arrow.
3:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:53 Speaker 02 And um I shot a deer and I used the pelt and I ate every part of that deer and the bones were used for something and da da da. I just don't have it in me.
4:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:04 Speaker 02 To kill something.
4:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:06 Speaker 02 I wouldn't be able to actually, like, not even with a bow and arrow, but even with a gun, like, I wouldn't be able to pull a trigger and shoot a deer. But I would still eat it.
4:15 Speaker 03 Hmm.
4:15 Speaker 02 So that makes me even worse.
4:17 Speaker 03 Could I kill a deer?
4:18 Speaker 02 I'd I'd I'd send other people out to do my dirty work for me. And then I just I slap whatever they've got left over on the barbecue.
4:25 Speaker 03 On the other hand, I think I probably couldn't be in the military and yet I still rely on.
4:30 Speaker 02 No, I couldn't be in the military.
4:31 Speaker 03 And and the in extremists, we sometimes rely on people committing violence in our neighbours. So I think it's a fairly a relatively normal position in society to be reliant upon people doing jobs that you could not yourself do.
4:44 Speaker 02 I'm I'm I'm the worst. I'm I'm so.
4:49 Speaker 02 Like, not m- military level.
4:53 Speaker 04 This is our Christmas episode.
4:54 Speaker 02 Sorry, yeah, no, well, I will get into that, but I will just wanna tell I was just trying to tell you, Lily, mate, why I wouldn't be a good soldier. Because I'm worried about the fucking draft and stuff. I'll be honest with you.
5:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, a draft?
5:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, worried about conscription or whatever. I don't know.
5:08 Speaker 03 I genuinely, I think we're a bit old. I think we'd we'd be all right.
5:12 Speaker 02 I'm thirty. I'm still in my thirties, mate.
5:13 Speaker 03 You might get fucked, yeah. I'd I'd be one of those generals going, oh, send another young man to his death.
5:19 Speaker 02 I used to say that. No, but I.
5:20 Speaker 03 It'd be you.
5:21 Speaker 02 I used to say that about you. Yeah, no.
5:24 Speaker 03 Well, we're doing okay. Well, yeah, let's get on to that fucking. Let's get on to that foot. Get on the foot. The football match. The football. Do the football match. The Christmas truce. Oh, ball comes bouncing to no man's side. Where did it come from? Was it a germ? Was it a was it an Englishman? Who cares?
5:37 Speaker 04 We haven't even done the intro yet.
5:39 Speaker 02 We couldn't. We couldn't even audition for a war film.
5:43 Speaker 03 We fucked up the audition.
5:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:45 Speaker 03 I I think it's funny when you see a football computer game and on the, you know, the the adverts on the side of the pitch on the computer game and it's like. Join the army and you're like, these guys can't even handle real football. You're thinking they should be in the actual army.
5:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, sure they can. I'm sure they can. I can't be in the army. There's three three reasons why I can't be in the army.
6:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:05 Speaker 02 Main reason coward.
6:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:07 Speaker 02 Really scared, really frightened.
6:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:10 Speaker 02 Not brave at all whatsoever.
6:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
6:12 Speaker 02 Just stupid and quite lazy. And I think you have to be the opposite of all those things to be a.
6:19 Speaker 03 What do you say? Coward, stupid? Uh, you probably have to. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think you're right.
6:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:25 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, I mean, I I think I'm the same. I mean, I don't like getting up. You have to get up early, don't you?
6:30 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
6:31 Speaker 03 I think sometimes they make you go to sleep, even if you really need a wee.
6:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, stuff like that. They make you hold it in sometimes.
6:37 Speaker 03 It's really annoying. They're like, like, like, but you're in a trench, you can't get discovered. You're like, I just, I gotta have a piss, please. Like, I like, and they're like, but they'll find us. You're like, how am I gonna get to sleep then?
6:46 Speaker 04 Shall we do it? I'm, I am gonna cut this.
6:48 Speaker 02 Do you cut this? Good luck with the next episode, cause I won't be there. Right.
6:54 Speaker 04 Can I play you the Christmas jingle?
6:55 Speaker 03 Good luck replacing us. You won't find, there's nobody can do what we do, no one.
7:01 Speaker 02 Let's hear the Christmas jingle.
7:02 Speaker 04 Okay, you ready?
7:03 Speaker 03 Yep.
7:17 Speaker 03 That's really good.
7:18 Speaker 02 Did he say? Oh, there we go. Merry Christmas.
7:21 Speaker 03 Very, very good.
7:22 Speaker 02 Did he say Joe at all?
7:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, dude.
7:25 Speaker 02 Oh, he was going Joe, ho, ho. I thought he was just going, ho, ho, ho, and James. I thought he was calling you a ho, mate. Wouldn't say that. I'd knock Santa out.
7:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:37 Speaker 02 He tried it.
7:38 Speaker 03 No one calls me a ho.
7:39 Speaker 02 He's quite a big lad, isn't he? Do you reckon you could beat Santa up?
7:43 Speaker 03 It'd take ages. He'd, I, he'd.
7:44 Speaker 02 What about if me and you, again, me and you together against him?
7:47 Speaker 03 We'd get him together.
7:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:49 Speaker 03 You'd hold down his head.
7:50 Speaker 02 I'd put, I'd, I'd yank his beard.
7:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:54 Speaker 02 And knee him at the same time in the face.
7:56 Speaker 03 Yeah. And I'd just have his head down. I'd be going, fuck you.
7:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:00 Speaker 03 You fucking smart ass.
8:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:02 Speaker 03 Do you know what I mean?
8:03 Speaker 02 Yeah. Oh, your face is red now.
8:05 Speaker 03 Yeah. Yeah.
8:07 Speaker 02 Do you know what I mean?
8:08 Speaker 03 Yeah. What?
8:10 Speaker 02 All a clutter. What is it? What, what happened? No. I read that thing.
8:14 Speaker 03 Oh, 'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring.
8:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:18 Speaker 03 Not even a mouse.
8:19 Speaker 02 I read that. That's a little Christmas tradition at my house.
8:22 Speaker 03 It's a good story.
8:23 Speaker 02 I read that, uh, because, um, mum, Claire.
8:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:28 Speaker 02 Who I also call mum sometimes. She has to do a lot of, um, tidying up on Christmas Eve.
8:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:34 Speaker 02 And um, and I always go to the boys, come on, let's get to bed and then we won't get, we won't have to do any of the tidying up.
8:39 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
8:40 Speaker 02 So me and the boys, we get into bed and we all get into mum and dad's bed.
8:44 Speaker 03 Oh.
8:44 Speaker 02 And I read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
8:46 Speaker 03 I know what it is.
8:47 Speaker 02 A couple of years ago, I ruined that, um, it's not even that bad, right? But I did ruin that poem story thing. And now we can't read it without laughing hysterically because it mentions, um, it go, it goes on to talk about Santa's rosy cheeks. And I go, why's he got his bum out?
9:05 Speaker 02 And for some reason, for some reason, we, we can't get through that story now.
9:10 Speaker 03 Um.
9:11 Speaker 02 Once we start talking about Santa's rosy cheeks.
9:13 Speaker 03 Oh, God. Um, well, I see, I mean, the, um, there is a, there is a bit in the Bible and we'd have it in assembly, we'd have the Bible readings.
9:25 Speaker 02 Right.
9:25 Speaker 03 Uh, coming up to Christmas.
9:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:28 Speaker 03 And there is that bit, well, I don't know what they're expecting, but it literally goes, the Virgin Mary goes, well, how am I gonna have a baby?
9:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:33 Speaker 03 When I'm a virgin? And then the angel says, the Holy Spirit will come on you. And that, he literally said the Bible.
9:40 Speaker 02 That's not how you're getting pregnant anyway.
9:42 Speaker 03 I know, but I mean, how are you meant to get, like, we'd get in trouble for laughing at it and like, well, what are you fucking expecting?
9:48 Speaker 02 Cause usually that.
9:49 Speaker 03 Is that why they didn't wanna translate it?
9:50 Speaker 02 Cause usually if you're not trying to get them pregnant, they do go, oh, just go on me.
9:54 Speaker 03 That's true, actually.
9:55 Speaker 02 Is that gonna make it in?
9:57 Speaker 03 Just come on my ass.
9:58 Speaker 04 Should we do the intro?
10:00 Speaker 03 Can I do one more?
10:01 Speaker 02 No, no, we gotta do the intro.
10:03 Speaker 03 I've got another, I've got another one for later.
10:04 Speaker 02 Oh, okay, go, right, okay.
10:05 Speaker 03 I'll do it now. Basically, I was in a me, I used to have a temping job.
10:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:09 Speaker 03 And, um, we, we had a, we had a franking machine. It was a, it was a, um.
10:14 Speaker 02 It's associated with sausages?
10:16 Speaker 03 No, it's for, it's for mail. Like, you know, when you can, you know, when you get an official letter, it hasn't got a stamp, it gets a, it gets a code.
10:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:23 Speaker 03 And then the, the postman looks at it, all woman.
10:27 Speaker 02 Sure.
10:28 Speaker 03 Lot of them are woman. Woman. A lot of them are woman. A lot of, a lot, a lot, a lot of postmen.
10:35 Speaker 02 A lot of people.
10:36 Speaker 03 A lot of postmen are women.
10:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:40 Speaker 02 Postal worker.
10:42 Speaker 03 A postal worker?
10:43 Speaker 02 There you go.
10:43 Speaker 03 Basically, the stu- it was in a, I worked in an art college.
10:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:47 Speaker 03 And, uh, we had a staff meeting once and somebody said, we've got to lock the door to the postroom because, um, I keep finding students in there franking off.
11:01 Speaker 02 Right. He didn't say franking off.
11:04 Speaker 03 No, he did. He was franking off letters. He was like franking off letters.
11:06 Speaker 02 Right.
11:07 Speaker 03 And I was going,
11:10 Speaker 03 and I got no, no one else.
11:11 Speaker 02 No one laughed at that.
11:12 Speaker 03 No one laughed.
11:13 Speaker 02 Everyone was being very serious.
11:14 Speaker 03 Fuck you then.
11:15 Speaker 02 Someone said the phrase, someone, we've got to lock this door because people are going there and franking off.
11:20 Speaker 03 I keep finding students in here. Franking off. Yes, he said franking off letters, but he said, he definitely said franking off. He didn't say franking letters off. He said franking off.
11:27 Speaker 02 Well, franking letters off still works.
11:28 Speaker 03 Franking letters off still works. And I went round to get, for the expected response, there was nothing. And I thought, I did not know death had taken so many.
11:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:37 Speaker 03 Fucking hell.
11:38 Speaker 02 Anyway, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Each week we'll be bringing one another, a fact that we deem interesting. And our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is.
11:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:46 Speaker 02 We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but don't want to do the research in a segment we're calling Fact Check. So if you do want to send in your facts, email us, hello at joeandjamespod.com. And our WhatsApp is 07822 034 330. And you can follow on socials at joeandjamespod. And you can watch all full episodes of, um, this, whatever it is that we're doing.
12:13 Speaker 03 All full?
12:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know. You can watch all full episodes.
12:17 Speaker 03 Awful episodes. You watch awful episodes?
12:21 Speaker 02 Just go on YouTube, search for Joe and James Fact Up and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. Now, let's get fact up.
12:32 Speaker 02 Okay.
12:33 Speaker 03 Here we go.
12:35 Speaker 02 Correspondence.
12:36 Speaker 04 Christmas spirit.
12:37 Speaker 02 Christmas spirit. It's Christmas. Merry Christmas.
12:39 Speaker 03 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
12:40 Speaker 02 Merry Christmas.
12:41 Speaker 03 Green, your red.
12:42 Speaker 02 And by the way, Merry Christmas.
12:43 Speaker 03 And by the way, Merry Christmas.
12:48 Speaker 02 People like our little OG Gervais show.
12:54 Speaker 03 They like them.
12:54 Speaker 02 References.
12:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay.
12:56 Speaker 02 Because I think a lot of them appreciate that they're not just the podcast that we do. We do deep dive our little.
13:02 Speaker 03 No, it's the XFM shows.
13:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:04 Speaker 03 Brilliant. Highly. If you're not listening to them, give them a listen.
13:08 Speaker 02 You can find them on the internet. They're absolutely brilliant. And what's really weird is that they just swear in them. And it's a Sat- well, is it a Saturday afternoon that they went up on?
13:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, like Gervais thinks if he does a pause, he's like, you always going on your stupid little cunt. And you're like, you still said it. Like, it's like. You're fucking shit. Yeah. And they're always second off the radio station. They're like, no, it's a Timbo radio station on a Saturday afternoon.
13:35 Speaker 02 I think there was one point where they like play a song and they're just like, what was that shit? Let's not play that ever again.
13:41 Speaker 03 Oh, they hate Muse, don't they?
13:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:42 Speaker 03 It's like, sorry about that. And the CD got jammed in the CD player there.
13:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:45 Speaker 03 I don't want to hate. He really hates Muse. And then when they.
13:47 Speaker 02 I don't like Muse.
13:48 Speaker 03 When they draw down into it, he says he really hates that they did Feeling Good. They did a.
13:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm feeling good.
13:55 Speaker 03 Yeah. I quite liked Muse. Certainly that first album, that first album, that first album with, uh, like, was it like Muscle Museum?
14:07 Speaker 02 Don't know.
14:08 Speaker 03 Anyway, I thought that was quite good.
14:10 Speaker 02 I don't think that. I don't like them. And I can still objectively appreciate why lots of people do like them, by the way.
14:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:17 Speaker 02 Just for me personally, I didn't like it when he basically had a fucking computer on his guitar.
14:23 Speaker 03 Bit too much effects.
14:24 Speaker 02 He had like a sort of touchpad on his guitar and stuff. And I was just like, come on, mate.
14:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:30 Speaker 02 Anyway.
14:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:31 Speaker 02 I've got a message here, Joe.
14:32 Speaker 03 Yep.
14:33 Speaker 02 This is from Jesse. It's via email. Jesse says, and I don't know what, I don't wanna misgender Jesse.
14:43 Speaker 03 No, that's well said.
14:45 Speaker 02 But Jesse says, hello J and J, driving back from Wales, listening to the poddy.
14:50 Speaker 03 Bloke.
14:51 Speaker 02 And did a pub quiz last night.
14:53 Speaker 03 Bloke.
14:54 Speaker 02 And actually had a question about the cheese night, cheese, bloke, conundrum. Apparently, the fact came from Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, where he exclaims his visions are based on a piece of cheese he had before he had a kip. But then, I feel like cheese does actually give you nightmares, because I have definitely experienced this phenomenon. So it is also, so it also could be a load of arse. Cheers, Jesse. Thanks, Jesse.
15:21 Speaker 03 That's true. I was thinking of that. Scrooge, who is haunted by the ghosts.
15:28 Speaker 02 Scrooge McDuck.
15:29 Speaker 03 It's Scrooge McDuck.
15:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:31 Speaker 03 And ducks, they really shouldn't have cheese. So like, that's what's happened there. You're not even gonna give them bread anymore, are you?
15:36 Speaker 02 No.
15:37 Speaker 03 Hmm. No, you shouldn't actually, I think.
15:39 Speaker 02 I used to give ducks so much bread when I was a kid.
15:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:42 Speaker 02 There wasn't much to do when I was a kid, and I'm talking about when I was a toddler.
15:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:47 Speaker 02 Nowadays.
15:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, you've got to buy special food from, I mean, I'm sure it's better for them to be.
15:52 Speaker 02 Nowadays, they're all vaping and stuff already.
15:54 Speaker 03 All the ducks, yeah.
15:56 Speaker 02 Kids, toddlers.
15:56 Speaker 03 Oh, kids, sorry. I thought you meant.
15:58 Speaker 02 Have you got any Christmas traditions, Joe?
16:01 Speaker 03 We watch Jonathan Creek.
16:03 Speaker 02 Jonathan Creek?
16:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:04 Speaker 02 Never, ever, ever watched Jonathan Creek.
16:06 Speaker 03 It's so good.
16:07 Speaker 02 I've never watched Ballycassangel.
16:11 Speaker 03 I've never seen that.
16:12 Speaker 02 I've never watched.
16:13 Speaker 03 You know, I haven't watched it. I just thought, found the title confusing.
16:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:17 Speaker 03 Is it a place?
16:19 Speaker 02 I think Ballycassangel might be a place. Do you know what I'm talking about? What was his name? Phil Thompson? Is that his name? Played a priest. It was during the nineties, but he was like a sexy priest and all the mums fancied him a little bit.
16:33 Speaker 03 That was the hook.
16:33 Speaker 02 That was the hook, but you can't, he's a no-no.
16:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, can't go there.
16:37 Speaker 02 No.
16:38 Speaker 03 Not with that dog collar on.
16:39 Speaker 02 Then you tried, then there was a sexy woman in it as well for the men. So everyone was, everyone was, there was a barmaid or something, I think.
16:46 Speaker 03 Okay.
16:47 Speaker 02 I don't know, I never watched it.
16:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:49 Speaker 02 But didn't, never watched Jonathan Creek.
16:50 Speaker 03 You've got to watch Jonathan Creek, it's brilliant.
16:51 Speaker 02 Never watched Doc Martin.
16:54 Speaker 03 I haven't seen Doc Martin.
16:55 Speaker 02 I haven't seen Doc Martin.
16:56 Speaker 03 Do you know, do you know the conceit of Jonathan Creek?
16:58 Speaker 02 Go on.
16:58 Speaker 03 He's a magician's assistant, so he knows how like tricks work.
17:03 Speaker 02 Right.
17:03 Speaker 03 And there's always like an impossible murder to solve and he figures it out using like lateral thinking.
17:08 Speaker 02 Oh, is that it?
17:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:10 Speaker 02 Oh, that sounds rubbish.
17:13 Speaker 03 Well.
17:13 Speaker 02 That sounds really shit.
17:15 Speaker 03 Get back to me when you're ready to apologize.
17:18 Speaker 02 Shall I watch it?
17:18 Speaker 03 It's really good. It's really good. I just, it's really good. It's really like, um, uh, it looks really nice. Those are the episodes that sort of seem to be set like at Christmas or kind of in cool locations. It's very festive, even if it's not specifically set at Christmas and there are, and believe you me, there are Christmas specials and, um.
17:42 Speaker 02 He's a magician's assistant. The magician?
17:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:45 Speaker 02 Is the, is, I know they try and make them all cool these days and dark and mysterious, don't they? But they are all a bunch of nerds.
17:52 Speaker 03 I think magicians are blokes who are trying to get access to women.
17:58 Speaker 02 That's it. That's all it is. It's, they're trying to impress women.
18:01 Speaker 03 That book, um, that book, The Game.
18:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, the bloke that.
18:05 Speaker 03 Which I had access to only because Kingsley was reading it in fresh meat, so it was a prop.
18:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, but that.
18:10 Speaker 03 And I flicked through it and he kept meeting fucking close up magicians and I thought, yeah, well, there you go then.
18:15 Speaker 02 Yeah. Have you, do you know about this book, Liam and I? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:19 Speaker 03 He almost didn't make a distinction between close up magicians and pick up artists. He was like, well, it's basically the same thing.
18:24 Speaker 02 Yeah. Cause he was, but I've never read it, but it was, the message was basically, it was, it was treating me in keen, keen.
18:31 Speaker 03 It was nagging, basically.
18:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, nagging, that was the thing, yeah.
18:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:35 Speaker 02 And he was the same bloke that wrote the, that wrote dirt, is that right? The, the, um. Motley Crue book.
18:43 Speaker 03 Was he?
18:43 Speaker 02 I think so, that then went on to be a Netflix TV show.
18:46 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
18:47 Speaker 02 I say I think so, it's a fact. It's on my podcast, so it's a fact.
18:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
18:50 Speaker 02 It's Joan James fact up. I decide whether it's fact or not, and if I've said it, it's fact. Thank you, Jesse.
18:55 Speaker 03 So, we didn't really get on to that, did we?
18:56 Speaker 02 No, because it was boring. What, in Jesse's defence, it was a boring email.
19:02 Speaker 02 I don't know how that defends him.
19:04 Speaker 03 Listen, right, so.
19:06 Speaker 02 I think I was about to say in our defence.
19:07 Speaker 03 I suppose, I suppose.
19:09 Speaker 02 No, in Jesse's defence, to attack Jesse for a second here, that was a boring email.
19:17 Speaker 02 Because I also think it goes back to the Middle Ages, that people started to, didn't we talk about this?
19:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's why he sent the email in.
19:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, and didn't we discuss that it goes back to Middle Ages? There was, there was a, I can't remember.
19:29 Speaker 04 I can't remember either.
19:31 Speaker 02 We talked so much, didn't we?
19:32 Speaker 03 But it's also like Scrooge, Scrooge.
19:33 Speaker 02 Look at this, we're half an hour into this recording.
19:34 Speaker 03 Scrooge is in denial, Scrooge is in denial, and, and, and he doesn't recognise his own emotions, so he's, he's, uh,
19:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:41 Speaker 03 He's got to stick up his arse, basically, and he's, and he's not, um, he says, oh, he's almost, I think Dickens is almost saying that he's a bit of a kind of, almost a sort of materialist, like he doesn't recognise, he's like, well, I don't believe in ghosts, no such thing, nonsense, and, and, and, um.
19:55 Speaker 02 I think they've got to stop making, um, films of that now as well.
19:59 Speaker 04 Christmas Carol.
20:00 Speaker 02 Christmas Carol. They do, they do like one every year these days, and it's always got like a star cast and da, da, da. Because The Muppets did it, man, it's the definitive version.
20:09 Speaker 03 The Muppets one is perfect.
20:11 Speaker 02 It is, if you want, if you want to get the story across in a way that's so entertaining.
20:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:17 Speaker 02 Michael Caine.
20:18 Speaker 03 Oh, he's so good. He's so good. He looks so frosty and kind of like, he's got that, he, he's got like, he's got that shard of ice. He's literally, he's literally like he's got. Simon's mum, Pamela Cooper, she's in it. She plays his nephew's wife.
20:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's right, yeah.
20:35 Speaker 03 And what's so funny is that in that, and, and actually, when she was my mum, she's a really like pretty, attractive woman, like, you know, in like, and, and in The Inbetweeners, we're like, bag of shit.
20:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:46 Speaker 03 She's got a bag of shit. And and and in that, she's almost like, she's picture postcard.
20:52 Speaker 02 Absolutely, yeah, yeah.
20:53 Speaker 03 She's like, she's this beaming and and and happy and smiling and embodies. And then comes in with this man who's like this nephew, Scrooge's nephew, who's also like, I shall keep it in my way, and yeah.
21:03 Speaker 02 I think we all carry some guilt about that, the way that Simon's mum was.
21:08 Speaker 03 She comes in for a lot of flak.
21:09 Speaker 02 Was attacked.
21:11 Speaker 03 Yes.
21:12 Speaker 02 Not physically, but.
21:14 Speaker 03 Verbally.
21:15 Speaker 02 Her physicality was attacked.
21:17 Speaker 03 Her physicality was, yes, it was, and and really, no. Constantly.
21:22 Speaker 02 What am I gonna tell my dad? To leave your mum, she's a dog. I love that line. I absolutely love that line. Oh, no, oh, no, what am I gonna tell my dad? To leave your mum, she's a dog.
21:34 Speaker 02 Oh, no. I had to go up to her and go, Robin, by the way, we've written some lines.
21:38 Speaker 03 We had to apologize to her.
21:40 Speaker 02 We didn't, even David did, yeah.
21:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, even David had to apologize to her.
21:43 Speaker 02 Um, my, my little Christmas traditions, um, Joe, it's all around movies.
21:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:49 Speaker 02 We've got a list of films that we'd need to get through.
21:52 Speaker 03 What sort of things?
21:53 Speaker 02 The, the ones set in stone are Christmas Eve, Home Alone One.
21:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:00 Speaker 02 Christmas Day, Home Alone Two. They are, we do not move those at all whatsoever. They're the, that is the peak of Christmas entertainment for us.
22:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:09 Speaker 02 Around there, maybe during the day on Christmas Day or during, like, they're the evening films. They're the big evening films. Uh, I need to get, cause it's my favourite Christmas film, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
22:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think Hannah likes that.
22:22 Speaker 02 Oh, it's brilliant. I fucking love that film so much. Um, we also do the Die Hard, uh, the first two Die Hard films.
22:30 Speaker 03 They're at Christmas, are they?
22:31 Speaker 02 They're set at Christmas, but they were released during the summer. They were summer blockbusters originally, but they're set at Christmas.
22:38 Speaker 03 That's fucking like, that's a flex, isn't it? Like, releasing it during the summer and setting it at Christmas, it doesn't even matter, who even cares? So we'll run it in the wrong, we'll run this race in the wrong season, we'll still win it.
22:48 Speaker 02 They're like my, they're two of my favourite films.
22:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:51 Speaker 02 Um, oh, Christmas Chronicles.
22:53 Speaker 03 What's that?
22:55 Speaker 02 Strap yourselves in.
22:57 Speaker 03 Well, are you?
22:58 Speaker 02 Christmas Chronicles, I think it's called Christmas Chronicles, it's absolutely brilliant. Uh, get your family involved in this one. It's a modern Santa Claus film, right? And um, it's, what's his name? Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell, he plays Santa Claus.
23:14 Speaker 03 Right.
23:15 Speaker 02 And he's so brilliant in it, like, and, and the films are so great, yeah.
23:19 Speaker 03 What about the, the Santa Claus?
23:21 Speaker 02 The Santa Claus.
23:22 Speaker 03 That's really good.
23:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think there's about 20 of them nowadays.
23:26 Speaker 03 I first went to see the Santa Claus.
23:27 Speaker 02 We get through all of those.
23:29 Speaker 03 We first went to see the Santa Claus, me and my friends at school. We didn't want to, we wanted to see GoldenEye.
23:32 Speaker 02 Right.
23:33 Speaker 03 And GoldenEye was a 12.
23:34 Speaker 02 Right.
23:34 Speaker 03 And we were, some of us were 12, some of us 11, and they were not IDing us, they were just asking.
23:39 Speaker 02 You were 22.
23:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was weird. I was hanging around with my boys.
23:43 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
23:44 Speaker 03 But like, you know, I told him I was a lot younger, so it was fine.
23:46 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
23:48 Speaker 03 So.
23:48 Speaker 02 People say you look younger.
23:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, and like, if you can get away with it, then I think it's fine. We were all queuing up, we were all 12, some of us were 11, and they were sort of in a really half-assed way, not IDing us, just going, how old are you, how old are you? One of my mates went, when he said, how old are you? He went, I'm 11. I'm nearly 12. And um, we uh, we didn't, we didn't get in.
24:08 Speaker 02 That was it then.
24:09 Speaker 03 We didn't get in. So we had to go, so we had to go and see the Santa Claus instead.
24:11 Speaker 02 Just say you're 12.
24:12 Speaker 03 Just say you're 12, mate. They didn't care.
24:14 Speaker 02 I'm 12.
24:20 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
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25:24 Speaker 05 Hello, I'm Luke Jones.
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26:09 Speaker 02 Right, oh dear. Right, it's my fact. It's our festive special.
26:13 Speaker 03 Yep.
26:14 Speaker 02 It's Christmas time. If you couldn't tell, we've got stockings up. So we're bringing you some facts with a merry spirit today. And I didn't, I didn't just read that.
26:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, you said it with merry spirit as well, didn't you?
26:27 Speaker 02 Hey, I'm an actor. So here's.
26:30 Speaker 04 You're not going to try it again?
26:31 Speaker 02 Okay. It's our, it's our, Joe, it's our festive special, isn't it?
26:36 Speaker 03 Certainly is.
26:36 Speaker 02 It sure is. So we're bringing you some facts. Yeah, we got little, we got tinsel up and all sorts.
26:41 Speaker 03 We shouldn't even have to say it, it's fabulously clear.
26:45 Speaker 02 It absolutely is. So we're bringing you some facts with some merry spirit.
26:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:50 Speaker 02 Now, my fact is.
26:51 Speaker 04 Joe!
26:54 Speaker 03 So, do you want me to?
26:55 Speaker 04 You could have had some festive spirit there as well.
26:57 Speaker 03 Oh, sorry, okay.
26:58 Speaker 04 The moment's passed.
26:59 Speaker 03 Ho, ho, ho. Come sit by the fire.
27:03 Speaker 02 It's the 4th of November.
27:04 Speaker 03 It's the 4th, yeah. I mean, it's not, we haven't even had gun, gunpowder night yet.
27:08 Speaker 04 No, gunpowder night.
27:10 Speaker 03 Gunpowder night?
27:11 Speaker 02 I've only, I've only just got over Valentine's Day and now we're celebrating Christmas already.
27:16 Speaker 03 I've still got a fucking stinking hangover from Valentine's Day and now you're telling me it's fucking Christmass.
27:21 Speaker 02 That's it. Still got, um, arrows hung up on the walls and stuff.
27:26 Speaker 03 I know, honestly, the waste is what does me, honestly.
27:29 Speaker 02 It's so, it's so awful.
27:31 Speaker 03 I got all wooden arrows this year. I just, I can't have any more.
27:33 Speaker 02 It's, it's very capitalist, is Valentine's Day.
27:37 Speaker 03 It's all made in China.
27:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I decided, um, Joe, to talk about Jesus. The baby with the beard. And, um, talk about the similarities between the god Mithras and Jesus.
27:53 Speaker 03 Okay.
27:54 Speaker 02 Mithras is the Roman god.
27:56 Speaker 03 Yep.
27:57 Speaker 02 Or one of them. I don't know. Did they have many gods?
27:59 Speaker 03 They had quite a few.
28:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:00 Speaker 03 Yeah. Zeus.
28:02 Speaker 02 That's Greek, innit?
28:05 Speaker 02 Was Zeus Roman?
28:07 Speaker 03 Uh-oh.
28:08 Speaker 02 Zeus was Greek. That was like Hercules and stuff, wasn't it? If the Disney film Hercules.
28:12 Speaker 03 Oh, Zeus was Greek. Was he? Apollo, that's a Roman one.
28:16 Speaker 02 Apollo, Mars.
28:17 Speaker 03 Mars. They're not planets, aren't they?
28:21 Speaker 02 Coincidence? I think not.
28:22 Speaker 03 No.
28:23 Speaker 02 So, I decided to bring you some
28:28 Speaker 02 some similarities between, I've got to stop doing that. It's so weird.
28:35 Speaker 04 I feel like I'm interrupting.
28:37 Speaker 02 You're cramping my style here a little bit.
28:39 Speaker 04 Sorry.
28:40 Speaker 02 Right, similarities between Mithras and Jesus. I'm just gonna rattle through these because I fucking, my, my facts are always shit.
28:46 Speaker 03 They're not shit.
28:46 Speaker 02 Um, both born on the 25th of December. Mithras was said to have been born from a rock, don't know what that means, on December 25th, the day of the winter solstice festival. Jesus's birth is celebrated on December 25th. Chosen later to align with the same Roman solar festival.
29:05 Speaker 03 Ah, okay, it's one of these, isn't it? It's where they get it all to.
29:10 Speaker 02 And by the way, I'm not poo pooing Jesus.
29:12 Speaker 03 No, I'm not.
29:14 Speaker 02 I know a lot of people, I like him, I thought he was a nice guy.
29:16 Speaker 03 Bloody good bloke, I say.
29:18 Speaker 02 Um, but it could be that Mithras and Jesus may be just the same thing. Mithras was called the light of the world, savior, mediator and unconquered sun. Jesus was, uh, Jesus is also called light of the world, savior, mediator between God and man, and associated with divine victory over darkness.
29:37 Speaker 03 Certainly is.
29:38 Speaker 02 An unconquered sun.
29:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:40 Speaker 02 Um.
29:41 Speaker 03 Mithra.
29:42 Speaker 02 Some Mithraic reliefs show Mithras surrounded by 12 figures. Jesus had 12 disciples.
29:50 Speaker 03 Oh.
29:52 Speaker 02 A lot of people think this is linked to the months or the zodiac.
29:56 Speaker 03 Ah, yes.
29:58 Speaker 02 Um.
29:59 Speaker 03 Yes.
29:59 Speaker 02 Mithraic initiates held sacred banquet symbolising a shared meal with the God, often featuring bread and wine, obviously. Jesus loved a bit of bread and wine, didn't he?
30:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:11 Speaker 02 Couldn't get enough of it.
30:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:13 Speaker 02 Uh, the Eucharist, Holy Communion. Uh, and then there's also good versus evil. Mithraism involved a cosmic struggle, light versus darkness, moral dualism. I'm saying words now that even I don't understand.
30:28 Speaker 03 But, um.
30:28 Speaker 02 I'm about to say a word here, inherited from Zoro. Um, Zoroastrianism.
30:35 Speaker 03 Yeah. Zoroastrianism.
30:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's like the, that's like the first Middle Eastern, um, religion.
30:41 Speaker 03 Isn't Zoroastrianism like the oldest still going religion?
30:47 Speaker 02 Yes, is it still going? Do they have anything to do with the Masdequites?
30:52 Speaker 03 I don't know who that is.
30:54 Speaker 02 Don't know about the Masdequites? Get right into it, mate.
30:56 Speaker 03 All right. Masdekites.
30:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think that's what they were called. I might be wrong. Um, but just, just proper ancient religions that I believe nowadays, we all just group in one thing. We just call it paganism.
31:09 Speaker 03 We might, we might do, we might do.
31:10 Speaker 02 Which isn't fair. Um, Christianity emphasizes the struggle of God, Christ, light versus Satan, darkness. They believe in heavily ascension, final judgment, eternal life, same as Christianity. Um, and also, oh, um, purification with water. Christianity does baptism. So there you go, just little, little similarities.
31:34 Speaker 03 And he, and he was a Roman god.
31:36 Speaker 02 Yes.
31:36 Speaker 03 Yes.
31:37 Speaker 02 But I would say this, right? I know that a lot of people would bring up those facts and go, see, and do what you were doing. When you were like, so isn't it convenient?
31:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, that it was the same day.
31:48 Speaker 02 There's the same day and like they just hijacked something that was already there, da, da, da.
31:52 Speaker 03 But not in a, I don't, not in a bad way. I just think they, they wanted to keep the holidays where they were, I think.
32:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, it'd be confusing.
32:01 Speaker 03 They were like, people had flights booked and stuff and then like, oh, now you've moved it all around and.
32:06 Speaker 02 It'd be a big mess, wouldn't it? I, however, think when I see stuff like that, I go,
32:14 Speaker 02 is it that it like, there's something in it? There's got to be something in it. We call, we call this person Jesus now, but we, but every, but everyone's been banging on about the same bloke since even before we started calling him Jesus.
32:26 Speaker 03 So you think, right.
32:27 Speaker 02 So I don't know. I just sit there and go, maybe there's something in this.
32:29 Speaker 03 Same bloke.
32:30 Speaker 02 Maybe I'll, maybe I'll observe Lent.
32:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:33 Speaker 02 Do you know what I mean?
32:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, completely. Maybe Avril Lavigne is dead and was replaced by.
32:40 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
32:41 Speaker 03 That's one, isn't it?
32:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, cause that, oh God, what would happen if, if we found out Avril Lavigne was dead?
32:47 Speaker 03 Like a, it's quite a sort of, um.
32:51 Speaker 03 Widespread sort of conspiracy theory.
32:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:55 Speaker 03 The, yeah. There was a band who were literally replaced by their own tribute band. Not, they didn't die, but they just quit. And it was Black Velvet. And it was like Superman.
33:06 Speaker 02 Right.
33:07 Speaker 03 Is it Black Lace?
33:08 Speaker 02 Black Lace. I don't know. But I do know that, um, what are they called? Um, sugar babes.
33:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:15 Speaker 02 Right?
33:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:16 Speaker 02 They were eventually all replaced.
33:18 Speaker 03 Yes.
33:19 Speaker 02 And now there's two sugar babes.
33:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:21 Speaker 02 And I think they both go out on tour.
33:23 Speaker 03 Right, yes.
33:24 Speaker 04 They're back to, they're back to the original lineup at the moment.
33:26 Speaker 02 They're back to the original lineup?
33:28 Speaker 04 Yep.
33:28 Speaker 02 The original, original.
33:29 Speaker 04 The original, original.
33:30 Speaker 02 Cause one of them left.
33:32 Speaker 04 Yep.
33:32 Speaker 02 And they were replaced. And eventually the next one left and they were replaced. And then the, the final third one left and they replaced. So it was a completely different band. They just carried on calling themselves sugar babes.
33:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:43 Speaker 02 But now the original three, the very first sugar babes, are now back.
33:48 Speaker 03 Yeah. So it's amazing, really. So, so, I mean, do the other ones have to just sit it out for this bit? Cause the original ones are back?
33:55 Speaker 02 I guess so. I don't know. Or they can be.
33:57 Speaker 03 Are they on the bench or something? And then if?
33:59 Speaker 02 They can be the sugar babes, I suppose. I don't know.
34:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:03 Speaker 02 So confusing. It's a lot like Jesus.
34:05 Speaker 03 It's the same. It's exactly, it's the fucking same. It's all the fucking, it's all the fucking same.
34:11 Speaker 02 Mithras was the original. Jesus took over.
34:14 Speaker 03 Yeah. Are you, I think what you're talking about is Doctor Who, aren't you? Like where the guy is and then he's regenerated.
34:22 Speaker 02 Doctor, Doctor Who is a bit resurrect-y.
34:26 Speaker 03 Um, what is that? He regenerates?
34:29 Speaker 02 Right.
34:29 Speaker 03 Well, also is it, no, the Doctor, because it's not, he's not they. Also, it's not, it's not a ma, it's, it's.
34:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're not allowed to say Doctor Who, are you?
34:38 Speaker 03 The, the character is not called Doctor Who.
34:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, I said Doctor Who when I was doing Doctor Who.
34:43 Speaker 03 Ah.
34:44 Speaker 02 I said something like, quick, Doctor Who.
34:47 Speaker 02 And they said, no, we don't, we don't say that.
34:48 Speaker 03 It's the Doctor. And the Doctor is not perhaps human. And certainly, I think, I believe not gendered as well.
34:54 Speaker 02 No.
34:54 Speaker 03 Which is, um, quite, made the show quite unusual for its time.
35:00 Speaker 02 The body is just, um, just, which I would argue is everyone's body, is just a vehicle to get around in.
35:07 Speaker 03 Yes.
35:08 Speaker 02 It doesn't really, it's not really who you are.
35:10 Speaker 03 No, no.
35:12 Speaker 02 It's just a coincidence that you were given that body.
35:14 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
35:16 Speaker 02 What are we talking about, Lily May?
35:17 Speaker 04 So Jesus is sugar babes and is also Doctor Who, that's what we got.
35:21 Speaker 03 Yes, yes.
35:22 Speaker 02 That'll be a good title. That'll go down well.
35:26 Speaker 02 Right, Joe, we better do some fact checking.
35:28 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:29 Speaker 02 Because that's what we do here. This is the part of the show where you send in something that feels like it might be a fact, you'd like us to confirm it, because we are the authority.
35:40 Speaker 02 Then whether it, then Lily May tells us whether we're right or not. So it's a bit, it's a bit convoluted. We'll work it out at some point. So we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of, and we're gonna have a good old think about it during the break, and then we'll let you know how true it feels to us. Joe, you're, you, you always read the facts, the fact checker for us to check?
36:03 Speaker 03 I think they like to give me something easy to do. I think that's basically what it is. I don't do the bit at the top because it's a bit sort of knotty and because there's lots of different numbers and...
36:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, even I struggle with that, don't I?
36:15 Speaker 03 Well, a lot of that internet speak is not proper letters, is it?
36:17 Speaker 02 No.
36:18 Speaker 03 What's that A?
36:18 Speaker 02 Symbols. I think it's Acturna.
36:23 Speaker 02 That symbol means Acturna.
36:25 Speaker 03 Acturna?
36:26 Speaker 02 And I don't know, I don't a hundred percent know what that means. I don't know if it's, because it doesn't sound Latin. It doesn't sound like ampersand, or, you know, the little and.
36:36 Speaker 03 The and.
36:37 Speaker 02 Symbol.
36:37 Speaker 04 Maybe we can do symbols for another episode.
36:40 Speaker 02 All right, Lily May's telling us to move on. Joe, do, um, do, read us, oh, it's from Nicholas. Is that, is that why he got in this week? Because he's called Nicholas?
36:50 Speaker 03 Saint Nick.
36:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:51 Speaker 03 This week's fact check comes from Nicholas, who's asked, "Hello fact elves. I am a hundred percent convinced that Father Christmas is real, like scientifically certain. Unfortunately, some non-believers, AKA Grinch is in disguise, keep telling me otherwise. Please, for the sake of Christmas joy around the world, confirm that Santa is indeed out there, slaying the night away. Let's restore some much-needed Christmas cheer and faith in flying reindeer. Love the pod. Merrily yours." Thank you, Nicholas. Thank you, Nicholas.
37:23 Speaker 02 Ho, ho, ho. Well, let's have a quick little break, and then we'll talk about Nicholas's, um, whatever he was, he did.
37:33 Speaker 02 Sorry, I was reaching for some chocolate.
37:36 Speaker 04 Joy to the world!
37:37 Speaker 03 Why do I think you're...
37:46 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
38:21 Speaker 06 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
38:23 Speaker 07 And I'm Marco Burchella.
38:25 Speaker 06 And this is Boots Off.
38:28 Speaker 07 We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts, and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
38:36 Speaker 06 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
38:42 Speaker 07 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
38:45 Speaker 06 The adventures that lead to adversity.
38:47 Speaker 07 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
38:51 Speaker 06 Listen every Thursday, just search for Boots Off.
39:00 Speaker 02 So, listen, Nicholas got in touch, which I think, and I'm gonna be honest, is a bit suspicious that Nicholas.
39:09 Speaker 07 Yes, I'm a little bit, um.
39:11 Speaker 02 Is annoyed about the, and I quote, "Grinch's in disguise."
39:17 Speaker 07 Yes, it seems that.
39:18 Speaker 02 Not believing.
39:19 Speaker 07 Yes, I'm expecting a voice note from Rudolph soon.
39:24 Speaker 02 Yeah. However, Joe, I've just made a little.
39:27 Speaker 07 We'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
39:28 Speaker 02 I've just made a little TV show, a little Christmas special.
39:31 Speaker 07 Have you?
39:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, with Lenny Rush. And, um, and it's about whether or not Father Christmas is real.
39:39 Speaker 07 Nice, okay, documentary.
39:41 Speaker 02 Well, it was, it was actually originally a documentary.
39:43 Speaker 07 Yeah.
39:44 Speaker 02 Um, but they expanded on the idea and wrote a script for it.
39:48 Speaker 07 Hmm.
39:48 Speaker 02 And it's about this boy who Lenny plays.
39:51 Speaker 07 Yeah.
39:52 Speaker 02 Who's basically trying to, trying to prove to his dad that Santa's real.
39:57 Speaker 02 Cause his dad's a bit miserable and stuff and he's like, come on, you're too old to believe in that. However, Lenny, the boy, he goes and talks to some experts and stuff. And they do go into detail about how s- scientifically it. Santa could do the things that he could do. So, travel at certain speeds. Even though we don't know how to do that right now.
40:26 Speaker 02 At one point.
40:26 Speaker 03 Was it when somebody said. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. I don't know who said that, but it's like, if it was.
40:36 Speaker 02 Well, it is, yeah.
40:37 Speaker 03 It, you know.
40:38 Speaker 02 Imagine seeing a fucking television for the first time and being like, how do they get?
40:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, and you'd be like, what is, what is magic?
40:44 Speaker 02 I remember, well, this is a little bit similar to that. Do you remember we used to, um, in the early days, in the wild, wild west days of the internet? And you'd go on Napster and, um, download your music or whatever. Right?
40:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:58 Speaker 02 And I remember at one point, now, if you wanted, now you stream music, didn't you? You don't even down, you don't even bother downloading it because.
41:06 Speaker 03 You don't, it, it never actually needs to be on your hard drive.
41:09 Speaker 02 It doesn't, no.
41:10 Speaker 03 It just is.
41:11 Speaker 02 But it's because it's such a small file these days. Like, I remember you'd have to, like, leave your computer on overnight if you wanted to download three songs or something.
41:20 Speaker 03 That's right, yeah.
41:21 Speaker 02 And, uh, then the internet started getting a bit faster.
41:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:26 Speaker 02 And, um, my mate said something to me like, oh, it only takes me about like two minutes to download a song. And I was going, well, that's bullshit because the song is three and a half minutes long. So how do you?
41:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's interesting.
41:38 Speaker 02 How on earth can you download something? How can you download it quicker than what it takes to listen to? So that's, like, I was convinced that that's how it worked.
41:46 Speaker 03 That's, I mean.
41:47 Speaker 02 I didn't understand that, like, the, it was a file.
41:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:51 Speaker 02 And it was a.
41:52 Speaker 03 But it is, no, but it's extraordinary.
41:53 Speaker 02 And it's just information and the size of that information.
41:56 Speaker 03 Well, do you remember the first C D? People were like, oh, look at this.
41:59 Speaker 02 No, I don't remember that.
42:00 Speaker 03 He says, no, okay, well, I do. It came out and people were like, this contains seven hundred million bytes of information.
42:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:07 Speaker 03 You're like, my god.
42:08 Speaker 02 Seven, seven hundred megabytes or something, wasn't it?
42:11 Speaker 03 That is, that's a C D. The mind is so blown that it just gives up, I think. It's like, well, fuck it.
42:16 Speaker 02 Magic.
42:17 Speaker 03 I think it is, people do treat it like that. I think there is. I'd say particularly that type of technology, it might as well be magic.
42:23 Speaker 02 But that's why I don't think it gives, um, it doesn't do a service to people like Santa Claus, religious, um, icons or whatever, because people just go, well, it's down to magic. When maybe, and it's what we do in this little TV show that we made for Christmas for Channel Four. Hmm. When you start to actually do some research and look at what's available to do today and what could possibly be available in the not, even the not too distant future.
42:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
42:51 Speaker 02 For instance, being invisible.
42:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
42:53 Speaker 02 There's ways you could.
42:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
42:55 Speaker 02 You know, camouflage has been around for years, whatnot and whatnot.
42:59 Speaker 03 And, uh, when it comes to time, getting round the world, well, time is very, very valuable.
43:07 Speaker 02 Depends where you are in the universe, or how fast you're going, I should say, um.
43:12 Speaker 03 Time and space are both relative.
43:15 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
43:16 Speaker 03 Right? I think that's right. I didn't get beyond that.
43:18 Speaker 02 No, I don't know.
43:19 Speaker 03 I was reading, I was reading a book about this. I did, I did stop because it was getting a bit.
43:23 Speaker 02 Heavy.
43:25 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:26 Speaker 03 They was, they kept going on.
43:27 Speaker 02 Kept rabbiting on.
43:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
43:29 Speaker 02 But shut the fuck up. I'm gonna say, we're fact checking on behalf of Nicholas, who asked, is Santa real? I'm gonna say Santa is real.
43:36 Speaker 03 I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with that.
43:38 Speaker 02 I think, even though we don't quite understand.
43:42 Speaker 03 Hmm.
43:42 Speaker 02 How he does the things that he does, doesn't mean that they're impossible.
43:46 Speaker 03 Hmm. Yeah. Let's be open minded on this and, and let's say it's beyond our understanding.
43:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:54 Speaker 03 But the, that's no reason to.
44:00 Speaker 02 Pooh pooh it.
44:01 Speaker 03 To pooh pooh it.
44:02 Speaker 02 Yeah. So we are, we are gonna say that is fact.
44:06 Speaker 03 Santa's real.
44:07 Speaker 02 Queen Lily May.
44:08 Speaker 03 Fact.
44:09 Speaker 02 Were we correct?
44:10 Speaker 04 You are correct.
44:11 Speaker 03 We're correct. Yeah. And that's the queen. Santa is real.
44:15 Speaker 02 How'd you know?
44:17 Speaker 03 Says on our computer.
44:17 Speaker 04 I've done my research.
44:18 Speaker 02 Done your research.
44:19 Speaker 04 Don't question my research now.
44:20 Speaker 02 Sorry.
44:21 Speaker 03 I think she's like, she knows someone who works for him.
44:24 Speaker 02 Right.
44:25 Speaker 03 Like, he's like quite high up apparently.
44:27 Speaker 02 Oh, is that right?
44:28 Speaker 03 Yeah. And it's like.
44:29 Speaker 04 I know a guy.
44:30 Speaker 03 Yeah. And like a few people in the media know. So he's like a sort of open secret at a certain.
44:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:36 Speaker 03 You know, level of, if you're an insider.
44:41 Speaker 02 Thank you very much for getting in touch Nicholas. If there's something you'd like us to fact check, head to our episode description for all the ways to get in touch.
44:50 Speaker 03 I also have a lovely Advent fact for you today, James.
44:53 Speaker 04 It's a Christmas fact, just, I'm sorry.
44:56 Speaker 03 Oh, Christmas. Oh, I see, because it's not Advent anymore.
44:59 Speaker 04 It's actually a festive fact.
45:00 Speaker 03 Well, I've actually established in my hymn bit that Advent and Christmas are different things, and you actually shouldn't sing Christmas songs until
45:08 Speaker 02 Christmas Eve.
45:08 Speaker 03 Christmas Eve, before then you should sing Advent hymns.
45:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:12 Speaker 03 Like, "Oh come, oh come Emmanuel."
45:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:15 Speaker 03 "Oh come, was it you branch of Jesse Draw?" We had a Jesse, didn't we?
45:18 Speaker 02 "Oh come, oh come Emmanuel."
45:19 Speaker 03 The quarry from the lion's claw.
45:21 Speaker 02 Did you ever watch Emmanuel in Space? That was good.
45:23 Speaker 03 Um, no. What's that?
45:26 Speaker 02 You remember when like, um...
45:28 Speaker 03 Is Emmanuel a porn film?
45:30 Speaker 02 Well, sort of. You remember when we were kids, the only way you could get anywhere near some porn was waiting until everyone went to bed and you put Channel 5 on on a Saturday night.
45:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
45:38 Speaker 02 So you'd have like Emmanuel in Space on.
45:41 Speaker 03 Right, okay. Is there a follow-up to the film Emmanuel?
45:44 Speaker 02 I think so, yeah.
45:45 Speaker 03 Yeah. So my fact is that in Iceland...
45:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:50 Speaker 03 They don't have one Santa, they have 13. And they're called the Yule Lads.
46:01 Speaker 02 The Yule Lads?
46:02 Speaker 03 Yule Lads. And they start turning up on the 12th of December, and they come one a day up until the 24th.
46:10 Speaker 02 How many days of Christmas are in that song? 12?
46:14 Speaker 03 Well, this is a different thing. So this is the...
46:15 Speaker 02 No, no, I'm just wondering, remember this?
46:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:17 Speaker 03 On the, yeah, 12. So on the first, yeah, obviously. Yeah, you know what it is.
46:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
46:22 Speaker 03 You put it up. But yeah, so, but this is, so this is another thing. I don't know why, but...
46:25 Speaker 02 I'm just wondering if the, if that, if it's that sort of lore thing. Lore, L-O-R-E, lore.
46:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, 12 and 13.
46:32 Speaker 02 Where, where numbers turn up a lot, 12, 12 disciples. Where all these numbers turn up all the time and stuff.
46:38 Speaker 03 You know what? I think you might, I think you may well be right. 12 is obviously a number that we...
46:42 Speaker 02 Can Joe Rogan eat your heart out?
46:44 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
46:46 Speaker 02 He just believes everything, doesn't he?
46:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, it's good. If you don't check anything, then it's fine. Just, yeah, that sounds nice. Yeah.
46:54 Speaker 03 Um...
46:54 Speaker 02 They just will not accept, um, that
46:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:58 Speaker 02 That the pyramids were built by anything else other than aliens.
47:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:01 Speaker 02 They are just like, it's gotta be aliens.
47:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, no.
47:05 Speaker 02 They did a whole thing. Do you know this, um... They did a sort of a, an infrared or a sort of a, I don't know what it was, a deep scan of, of the pyramids, right? And realised that at that time when the pyramids were being built, that the Nile was much closer to the pyramids. The Nile's moved over thousands of years, right?
47:27 Speaker 03 They could have floated stuff down the Nile, yeah, yeah. It seems like a, the pyramids always seem like a weird choice to be like, well, that's impossible.
47:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:36 Speaker 03 Like, sure, I mean, I go, I know they're good.
47:39 Speaker 02 If they were upside down, I'd go, how the fuck did you manage to do that?
47:42 Speaker 03 I mean, it seems.
47:43 Speaker 02 But the fact that the structure, they go, they're so big. And I go, yeah, but they are pyramids.
47:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:47 Speaker 02 Like, they cannot fall down.
47:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
47:49 Speaker 02 Like, that's, that's why they're the shape they are.
47:51 Speaker 03 They're not gonna overbalance, are they?
47:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
47:53 Speaker 03 No, you're right. Yeah. No, I am, I don't know about aliens.
47:59 Speaker 02 No, I don't think so.
48:00 Speaker 03 Why people get so worked up about saying they are.
48:02 Speaker 02 I hate that, that people, if, if, if humankind does something like really amazing, that they go, must have been fucking aliens somewhere along the line. Like going to Mars. Remember when, like, was it Buzz Aldrin that punched some bloke in the mouth, in the mouth, because he said?
48:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, he said the moon landings were fake.
48:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, the moon landings were fake. Like, I would as well.
48:20 Speaker 03 We've done some, we've done some quite remarkable stuff, haven't we? Like, the fact that you just go on ChatGPT and talk to it in fucking English and it responds in English. In like, you know, like, humans built that. Were you saying, were you saying we couldn't have done the pyramids?
48:32 Speaker 02 When they go like, there's all these reasons why humans couldn't get to the moon. Like, you go, yeah, it was really fucking hard.
48:38 Speaker 03 It was hard, yeah.
48:39 Speaker 02 It was really like clever people.
48:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, the richest country in the world spent loads of money on it and put their best brains into it. Yeah, it was difficult, yeah.
48:45 Speaker 02 Also, and also like, really, really dangerous. Yeah, all that stuff you're saying.
48:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:50 Speaker 02 Where it's like, it seems almost impossible that they'd be able to do it.
48:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:54 Speaker 02 That's why it's so brilliant.
48:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
48:56 Speaker 02 That they managed to do it. And you would, you would like, you'd be like. People died on these missions.
49:02 Speaker 03 They did, yeah.
49:03 Speaker 02 Like those, who was the lot that died in the, in the test thing, like while they were down, while they were still down?
49:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, were they, were they sort of killed to bolster the conspiracy?
49:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:13 Speaker 03 Yeah. Oh, wait a minute.
49:15 Speaker 02 It winds me up, Joe. Why were we talking about pyramids?
49:18 Speaker 04 Yule lads.
49:19 Speaker 03 The Yule lads, so, um, there were thirteen of them and they-
49:23 Speaker 02 I thought there were twelve.
49:24 Speaker 03 No, thirteen, I did, yeah, thirteen, but you, were you-
49:27 Speaker 04 That whole chat.
49:28 Speaker 03 That, no.
49:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:30 Speaker 03 No, there, no, there are thirteen, but, you know, it's nearly, that's close to twelve.
49:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's like when your mate tried to get into-
49:37 Speaker 03 Exactly, yeah. Yeah, sometimes, sometimes it matters.
49:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, he said I'm eleven, but, you know, it's almost twelve.
49:43 Speaker 03 Yeah. No, come on, come on. Um, it was like my tip, wasn't it?
49:48 Speaker 02 That's right, yeah.
49:49 Speaker 03 Forty-three pounds, there's forty. Well, um, that's, yes, there, there is forty, yes. Uh, that's, that's, that's about right.
49:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's forty.
49:58 Speaker 03 There you are, you, um, you provided the three.
50:00 Speaker 04 And that's Joe maths.
50:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's Joe maths. So, they're, and they're all, they've all got these funny names, like they're all called things like sausage swiper.
50:08 Speaker 04 Right.
50:09 Speaker 03 And, uh, potlicker. One of them's, one of them's called winter, um, window peeper, which is, um-
50:15 Speaker 02 Creepy.
50:16 Speaker 03 Which is a bit creepy. Um, I think the idea was, I, I, I read about it and he's, um, he's not, he's not a pervert, he's looking in to find things to steal, apparently. So he's, yeah, so basically, primarily they're motivated by food, like they, they- One of them's got a name to do with like skyr, like, which I assume was a modern word, but you know that kind of fat-free Icelandic yogurt?
50:37 Speaker 02 Ski.
50:37 Speaker 03 Skyr, S K Y R.
50:40 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
50:40 Speaker 03 I think that's like not a brand name? Unless the website was sponsored, I don't think it was, it wasn't like the skyr website.
50:47 Speaker 02 I don't know, man.
50:48 Speaker 03 They have this fat-free yogurt.
50:49 Speaker 02 Called skyr.
50:50 Speaker 03 Called skyr.
50:51 Speaker 02 Right.
50:51 Speaker 03 And, um, I mean, you can get-
50:54 Speaker 02 Where is this, sorry?
50:55 Speaker 03 Iceland.
50:56 Speaker 02 Iceland.
50:56 Speaker 03 Iceland.
50:57 Speaker 02 Right.
50:57 Speaker 03 I went to Iceland recently.
50:59 Speaker 02 Yeah. Never been, I'd love to go to Iceland.
51:01 Speaker 03 Well, let me tell you about this. I, I went there and, um, I, um, it was, it was amazing and like the, um, and I was, the first night I was, I was really, really tired, but I wanted to kind of, I, I kind of wanted to go to bed.
51:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:17 Speaker 03 I didn't really know what was going on, anyway. So basically, we, I, I, I've travelled with, um, one other woman and I thought she was- She was one of the actors in it.
51:28 Speaker 02 What, so you were there for work?
51:30 Speaker 03 I was there for work.
51:30 Speaker 02 Right.
51:31 Speaker 03 Yeah. And um I met her at the airport. And she was saying, she was sort of saying, oh, we haven't got a script through yet. And I was like, oh, I guess we'll just have to, we'll have to improvise stuff. She was like, yeah, I suppose so. And then on the plane, she was like, oh, you know, I I think you've got a costume fitting when we're there. And I was kind of going, oh, fuck, it's a fucking costume.
51:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:51 Speaker 03 Like at eight P M. And she was like, well, you're you're first. And I was like, oh, no, well, you can you can go first if you want. And she was like, didn't really say anything.
51:57 Speaker 02 Right.
51:58 Speaker 03 And then we got there and it turned out she wasn't one of the actors. She she was costume. So like I so I went, so like she, so I didn't, so I didn't, I was, I didn't really know what's going on. I was tired. And then I was, I did the costume fitting.
52:09 Speaker 02 Did you say, oh, shit?
52:11 Speaker 03 I was like, oh, fucking costume. What have we got? And I, that was, that's her. And then I went up to my hotel room. Um, went into the uh bathroom. Shut the door. And then I thought of something that I wanted to write down on my phone. And I thought, I'll just go get my phone and just door didn't open. And I was like, that's weird. So I kind of didn't, I didn't sort of panic. I
52:40 Speaker 03 like went to the toilet and then I had a shower and I was like, it'll probably be open now. I don't know why.
52:49 Speaker 03 And and it was a sliding door.
52:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:52 Speaker 03 You know those sliding doors where it has not much of a grip?
52:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, you've got no purchase there, yeah.
52:57 Speaker 03 That's just not a fucking opening.
52:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:00 Speaker 03 And I was honestly like, well, this is a fucking disaster. I don't, I I can't, I haven't got my phone. And what my my plan was, I was like, I'm gonna have to sleep in the bathroom. I have to sleep, I have to sleep here.
53:12 Speaker 02 Right.
53:12 Speaker 03 Like on the bath mat.
53:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:14 Speaker 03 And maybe get the shower curtain or something as a as a, as a, as a thing. And I was like, and my part of my brain was going, you just need to shout help at the top of your voice. And I was like, I'm not fucking, I'm British, I'm not doing that. That's not, I'm not, sorry, I'm, no, I'd rather, I'd, okay, I'm not.
53:28 Speaker 02 Also, I just think no one would hear you.
53:30 Speaker 03 No, I didn't. And so basically what I had to do, after a while, I was like, I've got to fucking get out of it. And basically, I No window. No windows.
53:42 Speaker 03 I've got you in the palm of my hand.
53:47 Speaker 03 So you got to the point where I was like, I'm just gonna have to kind of bust out.
53:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:52 Speaker 03 So I got the door and I basically just pushed with all my might and with my, I got my feet and I just pushed back and basically the whole door frame came away.
54:02 Speaker 02 Wow.
54:03 Speaker 03 And then I was really kind of worked up and panicked. And then I was just going down. I was like, I better go and tell someone from production. I was just going down there. But I was so kind of agglominalised, I was just telling everyone, I was like, I've just come out of my, I've just broken out of my hotel room. I've just, I was locked in my bathroom. I had to come out. And it was like people I didn't need to tell, people who didn't need to be told about it, like people in the room. It was like, I've just been, I've just been locked in my bathroom. I had to break out. And, and then I got, and then eventually I told the producer, he was like, well, don't worry about it. And then I said, I said, I've had to break the lock to get out.
54:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:31 Speaker 03 But I think he didn't quite realise, like, it looked like I'd trashed the hotel room. Like, it looked like.
54:37 Speaker 02 Right.
54:37 Speaker 03 There were bits of timber just in the room that I'd just broken off the door because I'd had to get out. And it was, yeah, it was just there for the whole time. So it just looked like I'd trashed my, it looked like I'd trashed my room.
54:49 Speaker 02 You are pretty rock and roll though, isn't it?
54:50 Speaker 03 I'm pretty rock and roll. But it was weird, it was really, but then Hannah pointed out, so you said you were gonna sleep in the room. So what were you gonna do in the morning? And I was like, well, I'll get out then. She was like, what do you mean?
55:01 Speaker 03 It'll still be locked. And I was like, oh yeah, no, it'll be. I was like, well, it'll be unlocked in the morning.
55:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:09 Speaker 02 It'll work itself out.
55:10 Speaker 03 It'll work itself out.
55:11 Speaker 02 It will unlock itself at some point.
55:12 Speaker 03 I always think that. It's like the way I thought, I thought the, I thought the Covid lockdown was gonna end on January the first, because I was like, well, it's a new year.
55:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, just start again.
55:19 Speaker 03 I mean, it's not gonna go on for.
55:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's fresh.
55:21 Speaker 03 The disease won't go on beyond the 31st of December.
55:23 Speaker 02 It's probably over now, but it would be a good idea to just, just say January 1st.
55:28 Speaker 03 It'd be definitely be over January the 1st. So, yeah, that was what, that was what happened.
55:32 Speaker 02 What's the thing about Iceland?
55:34 Speaker 03 They've got 13 Santas, but they're basically, they're not, they're not particularly benevolent. They mostly steal stuff. And the place that we went to, which is like their home, where you might see them, it's kind of lava field, and they were described as vicious trolls.
55:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:49 Speaker 03 So they're quite like.
55:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:51 Speaker 03 They're sort of thieves, really.
55:53 Speaker 02 Scandinavian.
55:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, but and interesting that we've been speaking about Christianity because I have a sense that, I don't have a sense, other people who I've sort of jockeying off.
56:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're allowed to have the same sense as other people.
56:05 Speaker 03 Um, that that actually that's kind of much more what gods were like, not going, he's not, Santa's not a god, but like supernatural figures were like, they were, they were far more transactional. Like they were like, if you're not nice to them, it's not like, they didn't, they didn't turn the other cheek. Oh, Jesus is like, he turns the other cheek. It's like, if you, he says, well, you'll kill me then.
56:24 Speaker 02 Like Loki and people like that.
56:26 Speaker 03 I love you anyway, but where, whereas, yeah, whereas the older.
56:29 Speaker 02 What was the pagan god of mischief? What was he called? He was quite a famous god.
56:35 Speaker 03 Might be Loki, actually.
56:37 Speaker 02 Might be Loki.
56:38 Speaker 03 Might be Swindon, actually. Or is it? Might be Carj, actually.
56:41 Speaker 04 It is Loki.
56:42 Speaker 03 It's Loki.
56:44 Speaker 02 Um, but yeah.
56:44 Speaker 03 They're much more like that, basically, and, and, and, um.
56:47 Speaker 04 It's fun.
56:48 Speaker 03 They actually sound a lot more fun because you get, you get a bit, it sounds to me like you get a bit of interesting sort of food every day. Because you, you have to leave a bit out as a tribute to the, to whatever, like bun grabber's gonna come around and like, whatever they're called. They, they all basically sound like a bunch of little perverts. Basically, they turn up and they're, they're sniffing around for it.
57:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:05 Speaker 03 They're all trying to find like, one of them likes to eat like the bit of, there's a bit of like thick milk on top of a pail or something and he, he likes to come and have that. And then one just wants like the grease from your griddle pan or something.
57:17 Speaker 02 Oh, no problem at all.
57:18 Speaker 03 To be honest, actually, it's fine, isn't it?
57:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:19 Speaker 03 They're like, um.
57:20 Speaker 02 Cleaning things up, taking the stuff you don't want.
57:23 Speaker 03 Um.
57:24 Speaker 02 Who discovered Iceland? It was the Vikings, wasn't it? Or the Norse? Because they called it Iceland.
57:33 Speaker 02 Even though it's not completely covered in ice. And then some bloke killed someone, was a, he was a bit of a pain in the ass. They set up like a colony in Iceland, then there was some dickhead there that was always getting on everyone's nerves. He ended up killing someone. I think he was called like Henrik the Red or something, or Leaf, Henrik Leaf or something like that, right? He was a, no, no, I'm not, this is, this is good.
57:56 Speaker 03 No, not Henrik Leaf, it's just funny.
58:00 Speaker 02 He then went.
58:00 Speaker 03 Daniel Nutt.
58:01 Speaker 02 They were like, they were like, you've got to fucking go, mate. You're, you're getting on our, you're getting on our nerves. You've murdered someone and all and everything. And he went, all right, I'm fucking off then. And then he carried on going a bit further towards the west.
58:13 Speaker 03 I know where this is going.
58:15 Speaker 02 And he found Greenland.
58:15 Speaker 03 He finds Greenland.
58:17 Speaker 02 Right?
58:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:18 Speaker 02 Greenland, absolutely covered in snow.
58:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:21 Speaker 02 Awful place, like, at that time.
58:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:24 Speaker 02 If, like, not a good place to start a colony at all, yeah.
58:26 Speaker 03 It's a bit rum, isn't it? It's a bit rum, Greenland, yeah.
58:28 Speaker 02 Nowadays, absolutely fine. We've got the technology, we can get on with it. But back then.
58:32 Speaker 03 Fucking melting everything now, so you're gonna have to live out there.
58:35 Speaker 02 But back then, it was pretty grim.
58:36 Speaker 03 Make out wine, yeah.
58:37 Speaker 02 And he was like, well, I'm here and I sort of want other people to join me here. I know what I'll do. I'll call it Greenland.
58:44 Speaker 03 Yeah. He's like, call it like Switzerland.
58:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, like cookies.
58:49 Speaker 03 Toyland. Come and join me.
58:51 Speaker 02 What's the name of the bloke that, um?
58:53 Speaker 04 I can't even begin to pronounce his name.
58:56 Speaker 02 It was something the red, though.
58:58 Speaker 04 I can't find that myself.
59:01 Speaker 03 Can't find Eric Leaf? You're not telling me you can't find, uh?
59:05 Speaker 04 Slippery character.
59:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
59:07 Speaker 02 Eric the Red.
59:08 Speaker 04 Oh, okay.
59:09 Speaker 03 Eric the Red.
59:09 Speaker 02 Norwegian explorer Eric the Red discovered Greenland around nine hundred and eighty-two A.D. While exiled from Iceland, he named it Greenland to make it more attractive for settlement.
59:19 Speaker 03 In those days, you could just do that, couldn't you? You come back, no one else has been there.
59:23 Speaker 02 You've got to check this place out, mate.
59:25 Speaker 03 What's it like? Ah.
59:26 Speaker 02 It's called Greenland, by the way. That's all you need to know.
59:29 Speaker 03 Unbelievable.
59:29 Speaker 02 Why can't you grow loads of stuff there? You tell me, it's called Greenland.
59:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, but, you know.
59:33 Speaker 02 No, but can you? Because we're, we're gonna need food and stuff. It's called Greenland, mate.
59:37 Speaker 03 So.
59:37 Speaker 02 That's all I'm saying.
59:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
59:39 Speaker 02 If you need any more information than that, go and check it out yourself.
59:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
59:43 Speaker 02 Get there. Oh, we can't fucking grow anything here. Brilliant. And then they also went off and went further into America.
59:51 Speaker 03 They.
59:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's, there's, there's, there's definitive proof nowadays. I think there has been for the last couple of decades.
59:56 Speaker 03 They got everywhere.
59:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, all the way into Russia.
1:00:00 Speaker 03 They got, I'm surprised they didn't get to the moon.
1:00:03 Speaker 02 Give them a bit of time.
1:00:04 Speaker 03 Give them time.
1:00:05 Speaker 02 They haven't yet. They might do.
1:00:08 Speaker 03 Off they go.
1:00:09 Speaker 02 Anyway, what are we talking about?
1:00:10 Speaker 04 Christmas, we can wrap up if you want.
1:00:12 Speaker 03 That's the end of that.
1:00:13 Speaker 02 That's the end of that. What have we learnt today? Genuinely, this episode, we have learnt the least.
1:00:19 Speaker 03 No.
1:00:20 Speaker 02 Have we? Have we learnt something?
1:00:22 Speaker 03 I can't remember what we did at the beginning.
1:00:23 Speaker 02 I was talking about Mithras.
1:00:25 Speaker 03 Mithras? Well, that was interesting.
1:00:26 Speaker 02 Um, we also learned that, um, Santa's real.
1:00:30 Speaker 03 Santa's real. Yeah, we just don't understand, like, just, don't we say arrogant?
1:00:33 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm. And that we learned, and we learned that Greenland was, um...
1:00:38 Speaker 03 That wasn't my fact, though. My fact is there are thirteen Yule lads.
1:00:43 Speaker 02 Yule lads.
1:00:45 Speaker 03 And they all, um, they start coming on the 12th and the last one comes on the 24th.
1:00:50 Speaker 02 There is a thing about Yule logs.
1:00:53 Speaker 03 They start coming on the 12th. And they don't stop until Christmas Eve.
1:00:57 Speaker 02 Jesus.
1:01:00 Speaker 03 Yule logs is a, is a long...
1:01:01 Speaker 02 Is that why they call it Iceland?
1:01:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. No, but with them... Yule logs, it was one log and it would be burnt gradually over the course of the Christmas season. So it's a big bit of fuel.
1:01:16 Speaker 02 Yeah. Well, anyway, we'll save that for next Christmas. Um, I'm all fact out.
1:01:22 Speaker 03 I am fucking, fa- fucking shattered.
1:01:28 Speaker 02 I'm absolutely fact. Um, we hope that you've learnt something or at least had a nice time. We'll be back next week. Will we be back next week or are we having a little, a little break?
1:01:37 Speaker 04 Actually, yeah, that's, I altered the script elsewhere, but I didn't, uh...
1:01:40 Speaker 03 Next year?
1:01:40 Speaker 02 We're gonna have a little break. We're gonna have a little Christmas break, um, because I think you can tell we need it. Um, but we'll be back with more fact chats and Santa snacks. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or with whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us. You can email us [email protected] or you can send a WhatsApp message 07822034330 and our social media handle is at joeandjamespod. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. Merry Christmas. We'll be back in a few weeks. How many weeks have we taken off? Two? Two. Two weeks. We'll be back in two weeks. And we definitely will be back because we're going to record that episode
1:02:25 Speaker 02 right after we finish doing this. The magic of Christmas. Merry Christmas, guys.
1:02:29 Speaker 03 Bye, bye.
1:02:33 Speaker 03 Joe and James, back to. Merry Christmas.
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