Jocko Underground: Insults Make You Mad Because They Are True.

Dealing with insults. Preparing my world view for the inside of the Military. Getting and giving reviews for performance. Finding a Jiu Jitsu academy when there are not many in the area. Jocko Fuel products. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jocko Willink?

  This is Jocko, Underground Podcast, number 74, Echo Charles sitting here, and me, Jocko Willink. Just to get everyone a little bit of sanity.

• 0:15Jocko Willink?

  The insult that you hear that that makes you mad. Generally speaking, the reasons making you mad is that there's some little piece of truth in it. And that's what bothers you.

• 0:30Jocko Willink?

  You are mad because it's true. So, what you should do when you feel that little anger flare up when somebody says something to you.

• 0:42Jocko Willink?

  Is don't let it make you mad, instead just agree with what they're saying.

• 0:48Jocko Willink?

  By the way, you don't even have any choice to agree with it because it's true, you know it's true. That's why it's bothering you.

• 0:55Jocko Willink?

  So, accept it and agree with it and say to yourself, yeah, there's a good point there. I wrote about this in Warrior Kid, Way the Warrior Kid. Book two.

• 1:09Jocko Willink?

  Nathan James, he calls Mark Plateface. And you know, like, look at Mark's face, kind of like round and big, it's kind of true, like, yeah, you look like a plate dude. And he gets called Plateface and he gets all mad, he wants to fight, Mark wants to fight Nathan James.

• 1:27Jocko Willink?

  And instead, Uncle Jake says, hey man, just be like, yeah, I do have a pretty round, like, looking face, don't I? And that's what you do. Now, here's a little component, kind of ties into the last thing we talked about.

• 1:44Jocko Willink?

  So, accept it, but don't accept it.

• 1:49Jocko Willink?

  So, what I'm talking about is when someone tells you that you're lazy. Instead of getting mad, say, you're right, I am being lazy and I'm gonna do better. And then, do better, start waking up early, start getting after it, work harder. If, you know, someone tells you that you're gluttonous.

• 2:16Jocko Willink?

  Well, then don't get mad about it. Be like, you know what? I was going kinda ham on the freaking, you know, chocolate pie or whatever. And then stop eating the extra desserts. And, and so that's a clear example of what happens here of when you get insulted. But it really applies to like anything, anything that actually bothers you.

• 2:43Jocko Willink?

  If you follow the thread of what's bothering you to the truth, then you can actually deal with it. So when there's something that's bothering you, if you follow it and you pull the thread to figure out why it's actually bothering you, then you can deal with the problem.

• 3:01Jocko Willink?

  So often in this day and age, we let our emotions replace thought. We don't, we, we just feel the emotion and that's what we utilize to react with.

• 3:16Jocko Willink?

  And by the way, what do we react? We don't react by self-correcting, we react by lashing out at other people.

• 3:23Jocko Willink?

  This is like politics today, right? This is like social media today. Something makes you mad, you don't know why you're mad, but it makes you mad.

• 3:32Jocko Willink?

  And so you go on the attack and that is what's wrong. Instead of, I mean, not instead of, but when you get angry,

• 3:42Jocko Willink?

  it's not a reason to lash out at other people. When you get angry, it's actually a signal,

• 3:49Jocko Willink?

  not to lash out, but to look in.

• 3:53Jocko Willink?

  To look in to see where it is you are troubled as an individual human being that you are letting something else dictate the way you feel.

• 4:05Jocko Willink?

  Don't get mad, get curious. Get curious to figure out why it is that you are so angry about this thing.

• 4:14Jocko Willink?

  And if you can figure out why you're actually getting mad. Cause maybe this person said something political and I'm so mad that they said it, but then I pull this room, I'm actually, I'm actually just jealous that they have this or frustrated that they did that about what I should have been like, all those things, all the little ego things that are probably gonna, you're probably gonna find at the end of the thread that you pull. If you can figure that out, if you can look in instead of lashing out.

• 4:42Jocko Willink?

  That's when you can make corrections and you will be in a much better situation. So.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  That's interesting because I never really thought of this till you just said it right now where the part about it kind of being true and maybe you're insecure about it or whatever like that made sense of course and um, but sometimes I'm like, wait a second, but sometimes people will like throw a jab or insult or whatever. And I won't get mad if it's true or not. I'll get mad the fact that they chose to try to insult me kind of a thing. So, and you could, and I can kind of separate it where like if it's, if, if you're my friend and you throw insults off all day. That's how I grew up like with, you know, with the twin brothers or brother, our whole relationship was insults. Who could get the better insult? The funnier insult. If it's not funny,

• 5:30Speaker 01

  it's just dumb. Um, so I was used to that part of things, but then sometimes it's like, um, you know, like, let's say you just meet someone and they get too comfortable with you and then they throw insults. It's like the insult wasn't insulting at all, but you're mad that they, they thought that they were in any position to like have that relationship with you kind of a thing.

• 5:48Jocko Willink?

  Wait, say that last part again.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  The fact that they chose, it's almost like, and here's my, my point is gonna be or is that it still comes down to your ego where the insult wasn't insulting, but the fact that you chose to insult me is it's like a personal affront. Doesn't matter how you did it. It's the fact that you did it, you know, it's like that, that usually is things that like will bother me, you know, like, Brad, you're not my super good friend. You don't have it like that kind of a thing, you know? Um, or just someone who's just, you know, someone who confronts you, you know, who positions himself as your sort of enemy socially or whatever. It's like, that's the part that that's insulting. You see what I'm saying? But either way.

• 6:28Jocko Willink?

  Ego.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  There you go. That's what it is. Oh, yeah.

• 6:31Jocko Willink?

  Cause I mean, if someone's like, first of all, I don't like, I don't know, a bunch of people like running around trying to insult me. Are they doing that to you?

• 6:38Speaker 01

  I understand that completely. Uh, no, not currently, of course, but I'm sorry. I'm trying to think of all the times that I'm like, wait a second. Like I did kind of get bothered by someone like insulting me.

• 6:47Jocko Willink?

  Oh, yeah. And that's the other thing is when you get bothered.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:50Jocko Willink?

  You're going to get more insults because you give, you gave them what they wanted.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  It worked.

• 6:55Jocko Willink?

  It worked, bro.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Nothing better than smiling, laughing off like carry on, dude. Don't get mad. Don't let your ego get to you.

• 7:01Jocko Willink?

  And look, there's nothing better than actual confidence. Right? If you're like, oh yeah, you're right. I am kind of a knuckle dragger. You know how many times I've said that in my life? Oh yeah. I'm definitely meathead. For sure.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yep. Like, like just cool.

• 7:17Jocko Willink?

  Someone's trying to insult me by calling me a knuckle, you freaking knuckle dragger. Yeah, definitely. Scraping them on the floor. Like what? You know what I mean?

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 7:27Jocko Willink?

  And they're right. I am a knuckle dragger. So it's like, cool. Like what else? Right on. Let's rock and roll. But yeah, just the, the fact of instead of lashing out, looking in is going to help you with a lot of things, man.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:42Jocko Willink?

  Help a lot of things. So there you go. It's my advice for this week. Giving advice, advice column. Like, you know, like that's what we're doing apparently today.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 7:52Jocko Willink?

  So.

• 7:54Jocko Willink?

  Trying to figure things out a little bit. All right.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  It's a mystery. Um, first question. Uh, to start this email off, I'd like to tell you who I am so you understand where I'm coming from. I am Jonathan, 14 years old and I'm the youngest child of eight. My family is a hundred percent conservative and Catholic. My whole life I've wanted.

• 8:14Jocko Willink?

  So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen.

• 8:24Jocko Willink?

  Go to JacoUnderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this, we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms. So we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko Podcast, which will remain as is free for all, as long as we can keep it that way. But we, but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors and we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. And to do that, we are, we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen

• 9:09Jocko Willink?

  this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you. It's JacoUnderground.com. It costs $8.18 a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email [email protected] and we'll get you taken care of. Until then, we will see you mobilized underground.