Pod Insights Jocko Podcast Jocko Underground: How to Get a Higher Salary | Get Your Kids In Line About this episode >Join Jocko Underground< https://www.jockounderground.com/subscribe
Helping loved ones our of traumatic relationships.
How to negotiate a higher salary.
Crush your new role with confidence.
How to get better socially to build relationships.
How to get your kids in line and be a good parent.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Jocko Willink? This is the Jocko Underground Podcast number 144, sitting here with Echo Charles. So.
0:07 Jocko Willink? Do you do you eat dinner as a family?
0:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:10 Jocko Willink? How often?
0:15 Speaker 01 Eighty percent of the time.
0:16 Jocko Willink? Okay. Cool. That's good. Solid. What do you guys talk about?
0:22 Speaker 01 Normal stuff like.
0:23 Jocko Willink? I E.
0:25 Speaker 01 Uh, school for the kids, um. You know, we make jokes. I think a lot of the time. Yeah.
0:31 Jocko Willink? Okay.
0:32 Speaker 01 Like, kind of what's going on nowadays with, you know, this kid, that kid.
0:36 Jocko Willink? Oh, like, like, yeah, like Jessica is trying out for this play or whatever, this kind of thing?
0:42 Speaker 01 We're right. Not, no, not other kids, just our kids.
0:45 Jocko Willink? Oh, your own kids?
0:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. So, you know, house, school, you know, that kind of stuff. Yeah. I mean, it really depends. But yeah.
0:51 Jocko Willink? Have you ever just, like, one of your kids just brought something up and you were like, alright?
0:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:57 Jocko Willink? Yeah. Kind of fired up for that?
1:00 Speaker 01 Yes. So I can't think of anyone off the top of my head, but yes, because I always do understand or impressed with, you know how like certain, you know, when kids, they observe stuff and they only live for, I don't know, in my case, like, eight years, 11 years been living on this earth. So they see things through a different lens, a little bit different perspectives. So they'll notice certain things more than other things. So they want to ask questions about this very specific thing within it, you know? And yeah, so that becomes interesting. Yes.
1:28 Jocko Willink? So I'm kind of building this up, but something happened at my dinner table the other night.
1:32 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:33 Jocko Willink? So right now, you know, I got a lot of kids out of the house, right? We basically have one girl, one girl, my, my youngest daughter left. And we're sitting there, you know, we're eating and sometimes when the food hits the table, there's not much talking. Maybe it's more eating. You know what I mean? Everyone's hungry.
1:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:48 Jocko Willink? We've been working out, we've been training, you know? So anyways, we're sitting there and same stuff that you're talking about, school, how's the class? How's the thing, you know? My wife, you know, talking about something, whatever. And then there's just like a, there was this pause, like no one was really saying anything. For like one minute. It's a long time.
2:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:09 Jocko Willink? In dinner. But you know, I'm eating, you know, eating a steak. And then my daughter, she just goes, um.
2:20 Jocko Willink? You know?
2:22 Jocko Willink? Ronnie Coleman's body fat was point three three percent at his lowest.
2:28 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
2:30 Jocko Willink? And when she said that, I was like,
2:33 Jocko Willink? you know what? It was such an awesome moment.
2:38 Speaker 01 That is awesome.
2:39 Jocko Willink? You know what I'm saying? Had I told you that?
2:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, I do.
2:41 Jocko Willink? It's legit.
2:42 Speaker 01 Yep.
2:43 Jocko Willink? Here we are. My daughter's a fifteen year old girl. Look, and she look, does she wrestle? Sure, she wrestles.
2:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:49 Jocko Willink? You know, but and she works out, you know, but let's face it, Ronnie Coleman, he's from our era.
2:55 Speaker 01 Yep.
2:56 Jocko Willink? He's old school.
2:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:58 Jocko Willink? And to just bring up.
3:02 Speaker 01 At dinner.
3:02 Jocko Willink? Just at dinner.
3:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:04 Jocko Willink? You know what I want to talk about? You know what I want to talk about as a family right now? I want to talk about Ronnie Coleman's lowest body fat percentage, point three three percent. And I have facts for you, by the way, and I'm gonna draw them.
3:13 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
3:14 Jocko Willink? Yeah. So that's just a good indicator, you know? Cause look, these that this day and age, you don't know what your kids are learning about.
3:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:24 Jocko Willink? Apparently they learn about Ronnie Coleman's body fat percentage.
3:29 Jocko Willink? So I guess, you know, we always talk smack about the algorithm. And this isn't like a benefit. I'm not, I'm not giving credit to the algorithm. But at some point, you know, if your daughter is searching Ronnie Coleman body fat percentage, you know, you're something's, something's good in the world.
3:46 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah, it is true. Cause there's a, there, there are a lot of things on the internet. That are worse to be impressed by for a fifteen year old girl than, you know, Ronnie Coleman at his best. Let's face it.
3:59 Jocko Willink? Cause let's face it, if you're looking at body fat percentage, you're also checking out like max squat.
4:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:04 Jocko Willink? You're like, you know, cause he lifted heavy too, by the way.
4:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:08 Jocko Willink? Ronnie Coleman wasn't playing around.
4:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly right. And yeah, you can kind of deduce how she arrived.
4:14 Jocko Willink? When he was a police officer, he was just so, so jacked.
4:19 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, her, that, that element of history that she, you know, experienced.
4:26 Jocko Willink? Yeah.
4:27 Speaker 01 We're happy with that one for sure.
4:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, the cuz some and even like, okay, so she's into wrestling too, which is already she's on the right track because cuz let's say like a normal, I don't want to say normal cuz I don't know what normal is, but let's say it stands to reason that sometimes a fifteen year old girl can look at or take interest in certain things on the internet and to bring to the dinner table and it'll be really like hmm are we that happy that she's into that, you know?
4:58 Jocko Willink? You ever heard, you ever heard the term deep cut?
5:02 Speaker 01 Deep cut.
5:02 Jocko Willink? Like, like you've talking about a band and it's not the band's top, you know, single or not even really their top album or maybe not even it's sort of like some deep cut from way way in the past, you know, like no one knows this song, it's a B side of a single that got released before the band made it.
5:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
5:24 Jocko Willink? And there's only a certain number of printings.
5:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:26 Jocko Willink? That's a deep cut, right?
5:27 Speaker 01 Hell, yeah.
5:28 Jocko Willink? But when you're throwing out point three, three percent, it's kind of a deep cut.
5:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, especially for her.
5:35 Jocko Willink? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
5:36 Speaker 01 Like if if I came out with that, you'd have been like, oh, that's cool, you know?
5:39 Jocko Willink? Honestly, even if you said that, I'd be like, okay, like
5:45 Jocko Willink? if you sat down at dinner and you just threw that into the mix, I would be kind of fired up, to be honest with you.
5:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:51 Jocko Willink? Even for you to say that.
5:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, it lands a different.
5:54 Jocko Willink? And look, you're into lifting.
5:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:56 Jocko Willink? You know, you're into Ronnie Coleman.
5:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:58 Jocko Willink? I mean, you know?
5:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:00 Jocko Willink? But if you threw out out of the blue, by the way, this means you were out in another world. I'm in one world and you're in another world and you just bring that into the scene.
6:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't know, it lands a lot different from your fifteen year old daughter.
6:14 Jocko Willink? I'm I'm I am saying, though, this is, I'm trying to explain how deep of a cut that is, even if Echo Charles, if you and I went out for dinner and there was a buffet and I was sitting there eating and you returned from the buffet, you sat down and that's what you opened with? I've been like, okay, I'm I was, you know, there's a reason I hang around with this guy. And it's for this type of activity right here cuz he's bringing in a statement. Kind of random.
6:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:43 Jocko Willink? We weren't, we weren't talking about bodybuilding, we weren't talking about working out, we weren't talking about any, we weren't talking about body fat percentage. It was just on her mind.
6:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:54 Jocko Willink? So there you go. All right. That's my topic for the weekend.
6:58 Speaker 01 Impressive.
6:59 Jocko Willink? You know, let's, let's give credit where credit is due.
7:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, fully.
7:02 Jocko Willink? Came Ronnie Coleman.
7:03 Speaker 01 That does bring up a kind of a good question, though, I think, kind of maybe, you know,
7:08 Speaker 01 maybe a stretch, but maybe not. It is a good question. Like, what kind of questions are the kids or anyone really bringing up? Not, I mean, whether it be out of the blue or otherwise, what are they bringing up? You know, are they constructive questions? You know, or is it, uh, are they talking about the latest celebrity gossip or something like this, you know?
7:25 Jocko Willink? Is celebrity gossip that much of a thing right now?
7:28 Speaker 01 I don't know. Yeah.
7:30 Jocko Willink? Seems like, it seems like when, before, it seems like back in the day, it seems like back in the day, when they needed news,
7:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:40 Jocko Willink? they would just fabricate, you know, gossip from the celebrities. Seems like there's so much more interesting news that people don't really care too much about the celebrities as much as they used to.
7:50 Speaker 01 Well, I, I think, and what do I know? I don't know. I'm like, I'm like everyone else where I'm a, um, a recipient, a recipient of my algorithmic output from the, the internet. Yeah. You watch, do you watch TV news at all? The local Fox five, San Diego?
8:10 Jocko Willink? Occasionally it'll pop up on my YouTube.
8:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:13 Jocko Willink? Uh, if I go to news on YouTube, it'll be like San Diego news. And there'll be some, one story that I might be a little bit interested in and I might click on it, but no, I'm not tuning in. That ain't happening.
8:26 Speaker 01 I'm fairly certain that celebrity gossip in that whole thing is still a thing, but since there's so much other news that you and, you know, if you're not part of that algorithm, I don't think you, you'll see it as much. So it might seem that way, but yeah, TMZ is still going hard. I don't know. I hear a lot about Kanye West. I don't know. It's like that kind of stuff, but I think you're, me and you're in the same boat. We're not really into that stuff, even if it does show up.
8:52 Jocko Willink? So if it was in our, if we were more into it, it'd be more in the algorithm and we'd know more about it.
8:57 Speaker 01 I think so, yeah. Cause my wife sometimes will watch those Real Housewives shows and I'll like come in, you know, kind of done for the day. And then she'll be kind of watching it and she, well, she calls it in the background, you know, while she like does some other stuff, but I'll come in and like, watch it.
9:11 Jocko Willink? Yo, we post up.
9:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'll post up for sure. Yeah. And I'll like, I'll watch it for a little bit and, you know, Come on, it's hard to take this show seriously, you know? So, you know, I start talking some trash and she's like, hey, I don't, I feel way different when you watch it with me because this is just background like drama, fun, background noise, and now you're into it like it's supposed to be some like important.
9:36 Jocko Willink? You're critiquing their thought process?
9:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, the whole deal. But I'm like, I'm like watching it like it's this show, like I'm here to watch this show, you know, kind of thing. And so now I gotta evaluate it as such, so to speak. So it's like, this girl's mad about this and she, and then so she starts getting into it, telling me about, oh yeah, because she did this, she's mad at this, she's mad at this. And then I looked it up and she, and you also like, right, you looked this up like, bruh. So I'm like, I guess it is a thing, you know? I didn't look it up.
10:03 Jocko Willink? But it's out there.
10:04 Speaker 01 It's out there, I believe.
10:05 Jocko Willink? All right. Well, hopefully your kids can do something cool. And they bring something cool to the table.
10:10 Speaker 01 Yep.
10:10 Jocko Willink? My daughter brought something cool to the table.
10:12 Speaker 01 You know, Lee Haney is?
10:13 Jocko Willink? Yeah.
10:13 Speaker 01 He was another legend. Yeah, yeah, he's solid too.
10:17 Jocko Willink? Well, there's a lot of those guys that were jacked.
10:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:21 Jocko Willink? Tom Platts, he's still out there just getting after.
10:23 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. Quadzilla, that's what we call him.
10:30 Jocko Willink? All right, let's get into some Q and A.
10:31 Speaker 01 All right, Q and A, this one, um, kind of goes hard. Okay.
10:35 Jocko Willink? Got an opener here, go.
10:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Firstly, thank you for the great content. You both have shown this trooper how to get on the path and stay there. All you do, all that you do is appreciated. Thank you. I'm writing to see if you have any advice on how to help my wife. She comes from a very religiously oppressive household and has a mother who was during my wife's childhood physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive, using her religious beliefs to justify her treatment of her children. We got married young and moved away. After many years, she was able to rebuild communication over the phone and appeared happy that her mother had seemed to change. Later, we decided to move back to our home hometown and reconnect with the family. This proved disastrous.
11:17 Speaker 01 The change that her mother had made only lasted until we arrived. Her mother returned almost immediately to her verbal and emotional abuse and my wife broke down. Much of the PTSD she had she had overcome returned and she fell back into a mental state that took us years to get her out of the first time. We moved away again recently after only staying a year and a half. However, her mother is continuing her abusive behavior via harassing phone calls and has even. Recruited her niece, thirteen years old, to send her texts saying, "My wife is hurting her." The niece. So boom, wife's hurting the niece by not being there. "This has resulted in a lot of pain and trauma that I'm having a hard time helping her fight."
12:01 Speaker 01 She recently watched podcast number four, four, seven, four, forty-seven, Linda McFarlane, with me on YouTube in the hopes of seeing how strong, how strong Christian women should and can be. But had to stop mid podcast as she had real time, had a real time panic attack. When she found the words to express what caused her anxiety to spike, her, her answer was, "How do we know she's not torturing her family when no one is around?" Undoing her trauma was an incredibly hard fight the first time for both of us. I'm now unsure how to help, help her see that she can move on and heal again. She is at the point where she is becoming easily triggered and distrustful of others,
12:43 Speaker 01 even those who are upright, good examples of her faith, of their faith. We discussed therapy, but she's resistant as her distrust is running very deep. Any advice you can give me to help her would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
13:00 Jocko Willink? Yeah, that's, that's rough and that's terrible that people have to live through those kinds of things. And yeah, you know, there's a word that gets thrown around all the time. It gets thrown around way too often and the word is toxic. Like, oh, that person's toxic, this person's toxic. And it gets thrown around too often. Most people aren't toxic. They're just like, you know, have a bad attitude or they're negative or whatever. This, your, this wife's mom seems like a legitimately toxic human. And when you're around people like that, especially as a child, that's going to leave a mark.
13:41 Jocko Willink? And, you know, in my opinion, that's going to require professionals to help your wife work through. And you've heard me say this before, just like a car that has a problem, you need someone that knows how to work on a car. You, you need, and you need someone good. Back in the day, it was just a... So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground Podcast. So if you want to continue to listen.
14:12 Jocko Willink? Go to jockounderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this, we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms. So we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko Podcast, which will remain as is free for all, as long as we can keep it that way. But we, but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors and we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. And to do that, we are, we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen
14:57 Jocko Willink? this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you. It's jockounderground.com. It costs $8.18 a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email [email protected] and we'll get you taken care of. Until then, we will see you mobilized underground.
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