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Help I’ve Got A Limp Shake | And William Tries Jordan’s Sausage

Help I Sexted My Boss

48m
Transcript

Original podcast

Summary

Written by a model from the transcript; not yet reviewed.

William Hanson and Jordan North return to navigate listener dilemmas and unpack recent social misadventures. Jordan recounts hosting a star-studded summer barbecue where the gas ran out halfway through, the meat probe shattered, and producer Izzy allegedly stole his microwave. Meanwhile, William discusses his upcoming novel, A Fatal Forking, and secures Jordan's agreement to write a jacket quote. The hosts also dive into listener problems, offering etiquette rulings on road trip driving duties for family events, managing a partner who eats noisily due to misophonia, whether offering tradespeople a drink implies romantic interest, proper tie lengths for teenagers, and how to handle limp handshakes.

Listeners get a healthy mix of practical advice and comedic bickering. William explains the correct way to gauge a handshake using a stone fruit analogy—comparing the grip to checking the ripeness of a peach or nectarine—while Jordan contributes unorthodox theories on regional handshakes. The episode stands out for its chaotic recount of real-world socializing gone wrong, blending high-end etiquette rules with genuine logistical disasters.

  • When planning a road trip to a partner's family event, offering to drive so they can relax and drink is polite and considerate. 34:08
  • If you suffer from misophonia regarding a partner's eating habits, communicate the issue openly and seek professional help. 37:01
  • Offering a tradesperson a drink is standard hospitality and does not imply any hidden romantic intentions. 40:32
  • A tie should always stop where your trousers start, and any excess length should be tucked into your shirt. 44:45
  • Deliver a handshake with a firm grip by ensuring the web of your hand meets the other person's. 50:01

Chapters

  1. 0:01
    Podcast Intro and Charity Spotlight

    Hosts introduce the episode and highlight Vicky Patterson’s charity kayak challenge.

  2. 3:40
    Boomtown Festival Explanation

    Jordan and William discuss the quirky Boomtown Festival and its quirky foot‑pedal button.

  3. 9:06
    Barbecue Blunder Recap

    The hosts recount the gas‑running‑out mishap at a recent barbecue and the ensuing chaos.

  4. 18:00
    Closing and Book Promotion

    The episode wraps up with a book promotion and final thanks to listeners.

  5. 34:01
    Etiquette Q&A: Who Drives?

    Listeners ask about etiquette for deciding who should drive to social events, and the hosts give practical guidance.

  6. 36:50
    Misophonia Discussion

    A listener shares her misophonia struggles and the hosts offer advice on communication and seeking help.

  7. 40:26
    Trade‑Person Beverage Etiquette

    A listener asks whether offering a drink to a tradesperson implies a quid pro quo, and the hosts explain proper etiquette.

  8. 42:51
    Intro and Shakespeare Discussion

    The hosts open the episode with a playful dig into Shakespeare, GCSE drama, and the infamous Scottish play.

  9. 44:12
    Tie Length Dilemma for Teens

    A 13‑year‑old listener asks for advice on how to wear a tie properly, sparking a discussion on tie etiquette.

  10. 46:47
    Handshake Etiquette Dilemma

    A listener poses a question about handling a weak handshake, leading to a detailed etiquette lesson.

  11. 50:27
    Bro Shake and Handshake Variations

    The conversation moves to the ‘bro shake’, discussing its appropriateness and contrasting it with traditional handshakes.

  12. 51:26
    Pacific Life Insurance Ad

    A commercial pitch for Pacific Life Insurance, highlighting their long‑standing service and financial planning.

Highlights

  • 3:40

    Discovering Boomtown Festivalstory

    The hosts and producer Jack discuss the Boomtown Festival, a heavily themed music and arts event in the South Downs National Park.

  • 6:46

    Testing Battered Sausagesstory

    Jordan makes William try a traditional chippy battered sausage on air, leading to dramatic reactions about clogged arteries.

  • 9:06

    The Barbecue Disasterstory

    Jordan breaks down his disastrous summer barbecue, where the gas ran out, the meat probe shattered, and guests had to chip in for a replacement canister.

  • 20:22

    The Missing Microwave Mysterystory

    Jordan accuses producer Izzy of stealing his microwave from his house after the barbecue, a claim she denies while laughing.

  • 22:30

    Securing a Jacket Quotestrategy

    William officially asks Jordan to provide a jacket quote for his upcoming novel, A Fatal Forking, which Jordan enthusiastically accepts.

  • 29:45

    Addressing the First Sea Lordinsight

    William explains the correct etiquette for addressing the First Sea Lord, noting that because the current head is a Royal Marine, he holds the rank of general rather than admiral.

  • 34:35

    Driving Etiquette for Eventsstrategy

    The hosts tackle a listener question about who should drive when attending an event, agreeing that partners should generally take turns.

Quotes

  • “Empty out the sheds, the changing rooms, every session, every match. It shows you that you're not too above you.”
    Unnamed speaker · 1:36
  • “I had a marketing meeting, but.”
    Unnamed speaker · 4:45
  • “I think you did the right thing there because it was his family.”
    Unnamed speaker · 34:45
  • “I think you just have to say to your wife.”
    Unnamed speaker · 38:01
  • “I would tuck the long part of the tie. And Jamie, if it makes you feel any better, I went to a wedding yesterday.”
    Unnamed speaker · 45:50
  • “The analogy I would give in my etiquette classes is imagine you're going into the fruit bowl in the summer to pick out a peach or a nectarine.”
    Unnamed speaker · 49:12
  • “I think, are you old enough to listen to the podcast at 13?”
    Unnamed speaker · 44:35
  • Pacific Life 0:36–1:04
  • Saffron Volkswagen Richmond 28:33–28:42
  • Pacific Life 51:29–52:01
  • Safran Credit.com 52:01–52:59

About this episode

Have you got a limp wrist? A soft shake? If so, Jordan North thinks he knows exactly what sort of person you are. The boys also debrief on what REALLY happened at the Sexted and Capital Breakfast BBQ, including trying to find out who stole Jordan’s microwave. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected], and for more Sexted fun sign up https://sextedmyboss.com/newsletter/ to our free VIG&Diva newsletter. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

0:00
48:36

11,072 words · 8 speakers

Topics

  • Shout wipes
  • Scottish play
  • Chapter 13
  • Macbeth
  • Safran Volkswagen Richmond
  • Global Player
  • Tippex pens
  • Chapter 7
  • Titan Eight
  • Omaha, Nebraska

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