Help His Mum’s Scent Is A Turn On | And It’s Bath Season

As the nights get colder, Jordan North and William Hanson get stuck into some bath-related chat, leading to one very important question… DO BALLS FLOAT IN THE BATH? William is also back from a glitzy trip to Tinseltown, where he’s made a rather unusual but VERY famous friend. Plus, the Dilemma Daddies tackle your burning questions, including what to do when your boyfriend is turned on by his mum’s scent, and just how old your dating profile pictures can actually be. -- Want more Sexted in your life? Join Help I Sexted My Boss Out Of Office for exclusive episodes every WEDNESDAY on Patreon! Just head to sextedmyboss.com/patreon -- Want MORE Help I Sexted My Boss?: https://sextedmyboss.komi.io/ -- FOLLOW Jordan North Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordannorth1 William Hanson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/williamhansonetiquette TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@williamhansonetiquette If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:08Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to Help I Sextured My Boss, a podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life. Answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas like, what should you do when you get your interco out of storage and find a 12-month-old biscuit in your top pocket?

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Oh, topical.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Or, whatever should you tell your coworker you've accidentally slept with their father?

• 1:34Speaker 03

  That was a problem that we had last week.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But we're not usually like the answer, are we? William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  No, we're not. Jordan North, radio presenter. You're more Claire Balding. I'm more Balding. That's from Johnny. That was actually Jordan North's joke from Wimbledon when we did, was it the first or second year that we did Wimbledon together?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Did I do that on air?

• 1:58Speaker 03

  You did do that on air. Yes.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  It's a good one.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  It is a very good one.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  It's a good one.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  You've got a little poster note on your script.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, just a, just a little idea.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I wrote it down before.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm very distracted by that. Would you like a gin and?

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Gosh.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  Ice all over the table. Would you like a gin and toboggan?

• 2:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, do you want me to be mother?

• 2:16Speaker 03

  All right, go on. Seeing as you had opinions on how much.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Oh, it's a wet one. I'm gonna get some, some fibre tablets.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Are we out of toboggan?

• 2:29Speaker 03

  No, no, there is. I just don't think this has been kept in the fridge.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Why? I'll be fine.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  No. Oh, God, I can't, I just can't bring myself straight up.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Why?

• 2:40Speaker 03

  I'm going to use, there is a tiny bit in this bottle. You'll be fine with that. You eat corned beef hash, so you.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  It does smell a bit fermenting.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  Look at the difference in colour.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Is there a lump in that?

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Oh, I can't have that.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  No, oh.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Can I have a fresh? No, no, actually, let me try it.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I'm not sure. Hi, guys. No, was there actually a lump in that?

• 3:05Speaker 02

  He's ready over the toboggan. We've run out of toboggan.

• 3:09Speaker 04

  We're dry.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Even the glasses, even the bottle.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Stu says he's got D in the office in Manchester. He's got loads.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  What good is it in Manchester?

• 3:17Speaker 03

  It's got his jacket. I'm gonna bring it down.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I think there was like a mouldy lump.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  No, don't, no, Ben, I'm actually gonna throw up.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Oh, is that a mouse in there as well?

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Shut up.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Look, it's yours. They're the same.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  They're not.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Is that a bit browner?

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. Shall we share? I mean, you've got the flu, so shall we share?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  We've got another glass?

• 3:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Is there any alternatives? Have we got any? I'll just have gin and have we got any tonic?

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Hang on, Zofia's.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  So, I'll have a gin and tonic.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  We don't have tonic. What do you think? This is a bar?

• 3:51Speaker 02

  If we get another glass, please. Let me have another sip.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  I'll have a cosmopolitan whilst we're at it.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Martini?

• 3:58Speaker 03

  We don't have vermouth.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Dry?

• 4:00Speaker 03

  Not that you need much.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Tastes fine to me.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Thank you, Zofia.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  And we've got the cheap glass where we're at now.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  So we're half?

• 4:10Speaker 03

  No, okay, yeah, fair enough. Put, uh.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Do you want a bit more gin?

• 4:16Speaker 03

  No, this'll do, Jamie.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Are you sure?

• 4:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, that one makes me feel.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Let me try.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  Right, this, whilst you try that, this week's toast goes.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that other one was definitely off.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Goes to Fern from Alison, who messaged in to say, hello, boys, I was wondering if you'd be so kind to cheers, the verb is toast, my daughter Fern, on her 21st birthday. She's one of your biggest fans and has been to see your live shows and went on a solo trip to London from Edinburgh earlier this year to see William in the West End, who was also kind enough to stop for a photo after the show, indeed, as I do every night. She's studying up in Edinburgh and living her best student life.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  I actually feel a bit sick.

• 4:51Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Just let me have some water, Kevin.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  She's up in Edinburgh, living her best student life, but her sister dad and I miss her very much and hope she has the best time celebrating. Many thanks to you both for an always enjoyable and entertaining podcast that provides a welcome distraction from the daily commute. Well, Fern, from your mum Alison, this is to you.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Cheers.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Cheers. Happy birthday.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Is that right? It's gotta kick that, son.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  It's gotta kick that. It's gotta kick that.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Now, how are you?

• 5:24Speaker 02

  I'm good.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  One week until your holiday.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Although normal service will resume.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  I'm ready.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  Uninterrupted, unsexed.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  I'm feeling very autumnal, very wintery because of El.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Autumnal and wintery?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's he called? El, Elodino? What is it?

• 5:40Speaker 04

  El Nino.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  El Nino.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Who's El Nino?

• 5:43Speaker 02

  It's that.

• 5:44Speaker 04

  The weather event.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  The weather patterns. We're gonna get a very cold, wet winter.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  Oh, are we?

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  El Nino sounds a bit Spanish, which sounds intrinsically warm.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  It's, it's, I think it's Mexican, actually. El Nino, so it means it's a weather pattern, so it means we're gonna get a really cold winter, but it means we'll have another hot summer, but yeah, it's coming. It's, it's El Nino.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  It will hit you in the UK because you're a terrible country with such disrespect.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  It's not like, it's not a person.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Playing bingo and having Sunday roast in Benidorm, so it will piss on you with rain. I am a lion.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  It's from Peru.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  I am a weather event, like Rodrigo. I am, I am a lion. I am a lion, Rodrigo. But yeah, I've not yet, I was very close. Jordan South went up to the monitor, I know we do this every year, and he nearly put the heating on. And in my head, I could just hear me dad's voice going, oh, we should put an effect on now, going, put a jumper on if you're cold. I put a hoodie on.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  We just did, we just put an effect on.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  Oh, did you?

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Put a jumper on if you're cold. I had a bit of echo, so that. And I put a hoodie on and a blanket and I was, I was fine. So, yeah, I bet you've got the heating on, haven't you?

• 7:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  I knew you would.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Only turned up one degree.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  But it's not your fault you're southern.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Well, it's not, it's not saying to, you, it's not your fault you're northern.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I did say last year stupidly, you don't need the heating on all the time. Obviously, if you're older and elderly, you don't.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Oh, don't be so literal, everyone.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Alls I'll say is that when I put the heating on, I don't see the point personally, right?

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  I don't see the point in having the heating on.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  For just to sit in shorts and t-shirt in your house, right? I hear it's bad for the.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  No, that is ridiculous, yes.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  But when I have it on, I have it on for like an hour in the morning and then two hours when you get home from work. So then it's nice and.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Eleven o'clock.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  Fire, crack on with fire.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Cheeky, don't wind me up. Fire, put the fire on, I don't mind. But I don't, I don't like being too hot in our house.

• 7:51Speaker 04

  No.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  So I've not got the heating on, on, yeah, but it will, it will be going on soon.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  It will be going on.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Will you let us know when? Or we'll see if they can do a push notification to the phones.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  I will let everybody know. However, I, it is a must and you might think it's a Jordan South, but I've, I've got to have my towel rails on. Even in the summer, I need a heated towel. I've got to have a warm towel.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  When it dries them, after you've used them.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  I've got to have my towel rails on.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Are you thinking of putting the heating on when you're on holiday in Skegness next week?

• 8:21Speaker 02

  No, when I get back, that's when the.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  So you're not gonna put the heating on on your holiday?

• 8:24Speaker 02

  No. Why would I do that?

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Well, you're in Skegness.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  To heat the pantry, Mo.

• 8:28Speaker 04

  It's quite cold. No, I mean, on holiday.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Oh, when I'm on holiday.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  When you're in, you know, because it'll be cold there.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Of course, yeah. Obviously, it's somebody else's heat and that I'll have to pay for, so.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Well, you're paying for it in your room rate, aren't you?

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. You're paying for that. So I've not got the heating on. I do like getting cold and stuff. However, everyone goes on about like pumpkin spice latte season.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Not everyone.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Stuff like that. And, and my, like jumper season, what have you. For me, it's bath season.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  I've had two baths this week as I'm speaking to you right now, William Hanson.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  You're not in the bath.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Where are you with, are you a bath person?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  Yes, but not at home, unless I'm deathly ill.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  You don't?

• 9:10Speaker 03

  In a hotel, lovely.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  At home, I just think of all the things I could be doing, unless I'm ill.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Oh, baths. I bet you like a bath.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  I've, I never used to, but now, 8.30, 9pm, footy on.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Every day?

• 9:27Speaker 04

  Quite a lot of days.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  I love a bath.

• 9:29Speaker 04

  Cat is obsessed with baths, so I've got it off her.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Do you ever get in together?

• 9:35Speaker 03

  I think there's probably barely enough room for Ben in the bath, yet alone Ben and Cat.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  What end do you go? The tap end or?

• 9:41Speaker 03

  No, because nobody goes up the tap end unless you're Chris Stark.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I've got my taps in the middle, so I can go either.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Oh, she's a fancy bitch.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  So, yeah. But I do, I do love a bath, but Radocks.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Radocks.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Mr Matey sometimes. He lives next door, but we're on.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Do you and him fit in?

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, we get in. That's a P O K job. Cast your personal question.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  And I don't know if I need to go to the doctor by this.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Okay, is it not cleared up yet?

• 10:12Speaker 02

  No matter how many times I pop him down, do your balls ever just float back up?

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Why don't, I don't really think about it.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Do yours do that, Ben? Just, I'll be fine, let's go. And I'm like, no.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  What?

• 10:29Speaker 03

  What? What do you want about?

• 10:30Speaker 02

  They like the float.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  They pop up and they make a noise.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  We're not clipping. Well, because they're hollow.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  I don't, that's what I mean. Is this normal?

• 10:38Speaker 03

  I would maybe go to the doctors or take a video of you in the bath and send it to the doctor.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Like a Beyoncé, not.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  A Beyoncé?

• 10:47Speaker 02

  What they call.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  All the single ladies.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  What they call, you know, like those things in the sea, you know, when you'd swim out to it.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  A boy.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  A Beyoncé.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  You know what they'll say?

• 10:55Speaker 03

  A buoyant, you either mean a buoyant C A's, which is a life jacket or a boy.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  A Beyoncé is elite level.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  What they called? A Beyoncé, what they called?

• 11:07Speaker 03

  A boy.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Right. You know, you swim out to the sea and you get to it and you pull it down.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Some people say buoy, but.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Or, or if you've ever had an armband or one of those floats and pulled and you sit on it and it pops back up.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Happens.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Do your balls do that?

• 11:22Speaker 03

  I, I don't know, but I feel obliged to now have a bath and I will report back.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  We film it for socials. Joe, Joe, remind William to film his balls in the bath to see if they float back up.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Joe, Joe, block my number. That might be safer.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  But yeah, I do love a bath. So it's bath sea. I just love a bath. You can get all sorts done in bath.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  By what?

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Texts, books.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  I do, to be fair, if I'm getting in the bath on a hotel, I will have a little flannel to dry my hands because if you get your hands wet, you then can't operate your phone.

• 11:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, absolutely.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  Like a candle. Or if you're reading and you want to keep dry hands, although then your hands go cold.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Do you think it's weird to let people know? Like I do a lot of texting in the bath as well. That's when I catch up on my life admin.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  I'm relaxed.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  And do you think it's.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  You have been texting me in the evening.

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Do you think it's weird to let people know that you're like naked? I always feel weird that you're completely nude.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Any other context go, I'm sending you this text on the tube. I'm sending you this text from my desk. You don't need, I don't need the context.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  I have it at the end of my email, sent from my bath.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  So I might be naked at the time of writing.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Do you have a little thing in middle? They're handy them, aren't they?

• 12:34Speaker 04

  I've considered it.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  What they called?

• 12:36Speaker 03

  A bath shelf.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Is that what they're called?

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Possibly. It's what they're called now.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  They're really handy.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Do you have one?

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  What do you put on it?

• 12:43Speaker 03

  I'm surprised it fits over the taps.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Put my little bits in and stuff. And when you lava yourself up in the bath, do you stand up?

• 12:50Speaker 03

  What? What are you doing?

• 12:52Speaker 02

  And then get back in.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  No, because if you've got your radocks in there, that's going to clean you.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  No, I don't see. I say I disagree and I'd love your, Joe, put this as a poll. You get in the bath, you have to stand up and then put the shower down and lava yourself up.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  Do it again, but butch.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  And then get in. Now, how do you wash your hair? Just.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Ah, now you say, no, I don't wash my hair if I'm in the bath.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Why?

• 13:15Speaker 03

  I then go in the shower.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  You get a bath and then a shower?

• 13:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't wash my hair in the bath. Well, no, because it's full of like bath oils or Epsom salts or something. So I don't want to put my hair in that.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Did your mum ever used to bath you on a Sunday and use the same bloody jug she met gravy in and stuff? Do you remember the plastic, the big plastic jug? That is how you know if you're coming. There was a jug in it. You know, the plastic jug that you've all met gravy in? We never had one of those glass Pyrex ones. It was always like quite stained because she'd met scrambled eggs in it as well. And she did. And then she'd use the jug and put it back and wash your hair. And then my dad would just dunk you.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Your dad used to dunk me as well. No, no, no, don't read.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Like that. But yeah, I'm really into baths at the moment.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Okay. Well, that's good.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  But yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  Especially if you're not turning on the heating, you've got to keep, keep warm.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Sunday afternoon, put the, I put the iPad on the toilet.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Oh, that's hygienic.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  And then watch the footy and it's great in a bath. Oh.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  Cup of tea as well in the bath.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Like a little relaxing herbal tea.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Coke Zero gin and tonic or a beer.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  I, Mikey did bring me a martini once last year in the bath.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Gets you more piss.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. Our friend suggested that and I got him to, uh, I said, that's a good idea.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Cut the brew. Cut of hot, hot and hot. Yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 04

  It's well nice.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Do you ever eat in the bath?

• 14:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  It's been known.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've done that when cats out. It's like quite often.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Oh, you are wild. Yeah. I'm just really into my baths. It's bath season for me.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Well, good, good.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  Anyway, any loved ones listening, get me some nice bath, bubble bath for Christmas. I'll be well happy with that.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  I prefer a bath oil. I think bubble bath, bit childish.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  What about a bath bomb?

• 15:03Speaker 03

  I mean, beyond, I'd rather bubble bath than bath bomb.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  I don't mind a bath bomb.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  I'm not going to mention the shop, but you know what I mean? Where you walk past it and you can't breathe. Cause I feel so sorry.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  I love that shop.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Course you do. You bought me a face mask from there years ago.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Stop using that.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Do you? What, even in your thirties?

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  We need something a bit stronger than that, love.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Oh, bloody hell.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  Well, you do because your skin ages.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  I get the ick if I'm in the bath with no bubble bath and I can see my own body, but I don't know if that's just my own self-esteem.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, darling.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  What was I going to say to you then?

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Face masks, bath bombs. The staff in that shop can't breathe. Well, I do. I think, yeah, I can't breathe when I walk past it. I'm, you're like, I'm in it. Sophia's laughing.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  Maybe that's why they always come up to you in the shop. They were like, do you need any help? I just want you to say, do you need any help?

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Oh, that was it. That was it. It's one of my funniest clips ever. Have you seen the Scottish woman that drops a bath bomb in the bomb? She drops it in and then.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Bath bomb in the bath.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  A bath bomb in the bath and out the back, her husband go, is that a jobbie? That's the funniest clip ever.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  It's always the Scottish, isn't it?

• 16:14Speaker 02

  You've never seen it? Well, it's good. Let me show you.

• 16:17Speaker 03

  No, no, no. I, I, you've done a faithful recreation of it.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  She drops it in and drops in it goes, and her husband goes, is that a jobbie? A jobbie is Scottish for.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, a, a big job.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  It's one of them. Yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  Um, can I, um, just move things on into?

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. How's your week been?

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Well, fine. I promise you more AI chat.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  LA.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  LA.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  You said AI.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  Well, I have got AI chat actually in a minute, but I'll do LA first. I'll start with that initialism. Um, you know, we've talked about Trader Joe tote bags.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  And they're very popular.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  In fact, to, uh, your former producer, Tom and his partner, Tom, I, we gave them Trader Joe tote bags, the gas, the gas gays when we went and.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Shit, I need to pay. How much do I owe you for that?

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Oh, now I'm a million.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  A gas. I've still got to pay. Remind me. I've got to pay you for that barbecue gas. Go on.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  But remember that, that person, uh, a few weeks ago said it was very boring when we continued that joke. So, uh, on his personal recommendation, we stopped doing that joke.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  I hate owing money, so I'm going to pay you for that.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, clearly.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  I do.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  It's clearly such a bugbear.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  A north pays his debts.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  What date was the barbecue?

• 17:24Speaker 03

  August.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  August.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  I owe you for that. Go on, anyway.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  And we are now in, when are we? November. Yes, the third of November at time of transmitting. Um, anyway. Trader Joe tote bags. Trader Joe's, perfectly nice supermarket in the US. However, I have discovered something even better. It makes Trader Joe's look like an Asda. Have you heard of Erawan?

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Nobody sounds fancy.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Jordan, let me show you some photos. It is extraordinary. At certain times of the year.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Supermarket.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  It's a supermarket.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  It's like a Waitrose of America.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  It may, I would say it makes Waitrose, again, look like an Asda. This is the one in West Hollywood I went to.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Wow. Oh, I have heard of that.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  They have a whole super, a whole aisle of water.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  I've got a candle from there.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  Have you?

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought it was Erawan.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Look at the, I mean, I don't like how much plastic packaging there is. I will be honest.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  I have got one of them.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  It's nice. And they do a lovely.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  You've got to get the cookies from this. Um, Lee, my friend Lee.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Brought me some cookies back from there.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Right. Yeah. Look at, look at all the veg and how they display it. Doesn't it look nice? Which is gorge. And then I had a, I had a, uh, ham, cheese and egg croissant.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  Is it called Erawan?

• 18:37Speaker 03

  Erawan, Erawan.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  I've got a candle from there.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  I had, they do a Zara Larsson smoothie and a Hailey Bieber smoothie.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  That gives you a much life.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  It does. And I had the Hailey Bieber smoothie.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  And they have lovely tote bags. So it's all about.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Did you get a tote bag?

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  Did you bring us all one back?

• 18:52Speaker 03

  No, not at that price. No. Sorry. They do tote bags of different sizes, of different price points. And a bit like certain airlines, they have an executive club. Where if you spend so much, you can then skip the queues.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Shut up. I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  No, you'll be signing up.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Bang out of order. So if you're an executive member, you can skip the queue.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  If you spend more than a certain amount in this supermarket, you can just bypass the queue.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  That's ridiculous. I, I would never do that on principle.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Well, it's, it's America. Everything's about money.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  That is ridiculous. That goes against everything I stand for. Where'd you do your big shop? Let me ask you.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  What? In this country? Waitrose.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Ben?

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Sainsbury's.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Jack? Do you do Sainsbury's?

• 19:44Speaker 03

  Where'd you do yours, Jordan?

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Stuart? Tesco.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  Sophia? Sainsbury's.

• 19:50Speaker 04

  We've got one close to us.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. You just, to be fair, Waitrose is our era supermarkets. So we go there. I'm not going to schlep somewhere else.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  Jordan?

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Well, it's obvious, but I am in the everything store near me the other day.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Getting bits.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  Everything store.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  We can get everything.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  You know, the everything stores, everything.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Well, ironically not gas.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  They do massive buzz balls in there now.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Weren't we drinking them at my barbecue?

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Someone brought them.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. They got them from the everything store.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  Anyway, Erawan, Erawan bags, they're the bee's knees. I'll post a picture of me with my tote bag. I was very excited by it. Um, other little LA story. Guess who's my new friend?

• 20:29Speaker 02

  From LA?

• 20:30Speaker 03

  You'll never guess, but think pants.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Pants?

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Not that's British pants, not American pants.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  Captain Underpants.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Calvin Klein?

• 20:39Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  You met Calvin Klein?

• 20:41Speaker 03

  So I was in a restaurant with some friends.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  And coming towards me was Calvin and his friend Kevin.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  Calvin and his friend Kevin.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  And.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  Calvin and his friend Klein.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Calvin Kevin?

• 20:54Speaker 03

  No, no. And I said to my friend, I went, oh, that's Calvin Klein. And then Kevin, his friend went, William, hello. I went, hello. We love your videos and we had a nice little chat.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Calvin Klein and his friend Kevin?

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. Hmm.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Get away.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we had a lovely chat.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Did he ask?

• 21:16Speaker 03

  Strange numbers.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  How?

• 21:19Speaker 02

  What did he ask how I was?

• 21:21Speaker 03

  No, no, he liked the etiquette videos.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  Well, I still, actually, no, no, to be fair, to be fair, he didn't clarify. I just, based on the numbers, assumed.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  That's all right.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm big in America.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Calvin Klein.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Well, I seen Dolce and Gabbana in Pret last week.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  What?

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Dolce?

• 21:43Speaker 02

  And she said hello.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  I think, wasn't it?

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Gabbana wasn't really interested, but Dolce loves our videos. So, yeah, she had an egg buddy from Pret.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  I doubt that very much. That's carbohydrates. I very much doubt that she did.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, so Dolce says hello. Big fan of the podcast.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Hello, Dolch.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  I call her Dolch.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  Dolch.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  Because we're like that. Anyway, so that was quite cool. It was a bit surreal, actually.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  No way.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Especially going from, oh, that's that person. And we were quite far away at this point. And as we cross, we were sort of crossing paths.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  There's a great Vogue documentary on there.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Oh, it's there?

• 22:15Speaker 02

  On Disney. You'd love it. I've not told you.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  A Vogue documentary on Disney?

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Disney Plus about Vogue and Calvin Klein's on it loads. It's amazing. It's like Vogue from when Anna Wintor took off in the 90s up until now. It's fantastic.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Oh, that sounds right up my street.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Disney Plus, really good.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Came out a couple of years ago.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  Did you watch that before watching the football?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. See, I'm a Broad Church.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  I know, it's nice.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  It's nice. I always thought that Calvin Klein was someone like Aunt Bessie, just that made up.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  No, Calvin Klein is an actual person.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  Wow, okay.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  But Betty Crocker was a real person.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  Does all the pre-make cakes. She was real.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Any more, Fanymore? What else been going on?

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Well, let's talk about, all our Halloween stuff has gone out because last week was Halloween.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Uh, we've endured it, we got through it, and, uh, including our tour of Stephen's House and Gardens. Um, now, there was a bit, for those that haven't seen it, there was a moment where we were in the dining room and you were touched by a spectre.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  I freaked out. Here's a clip of it. I absolutely shit myself.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Well, you'll be, be quite obvious when people watch this, what happened.

• 23:28Speaker 05

  So in Henry's day, this would have been the dining room, but Henry was one of the first people to put elect.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, what was that? Was that you?

• 23:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  Don't fucking, don't wind me up. Was that you?

• 23:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Was that him?

• 23:41Speaker 05

  I don't know. I didn't see him.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Are you being serious?

• 23:44Speaker 03

  What, what?

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Did you just touch me?

• 23:45Speaker 03

  No, what happened? Is someone touched you? I promise, I promise that wasn't me.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Are you? Are you, did he just touch me?

• 23:52Speaker 05

  I didn't see anything. Sorry, Jordan.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Are you being, are you being fucking serious?

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  I'm sorry to swear. Is that normal? I'm proper.

• 24:02Speaker 05

  I have no, I have no concern with, with any, but anything that might be.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  No, you're winding me up. Did you just touch me then?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 24:10Speaker 05

  No one touched you.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  I'm not even fucking, whoa, whoa.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Now, come on. Don't be, don't be silly.

• 24:19Speaker 05

  There's nothing, nothing to be scared of.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  That has still freaked me out to this day.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  But you can quite clearly see, and I, when we went for a drink a few weeks ago, I said at the end of the thing, by the way.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, we had a drink. We went out for a drink after a corner and had a proper.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Two, two drinks, actually.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  I didn't bruise after Botox, by the way.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, he was really worried. He's going, I can't have another. I'm getting Botox after this one. I'll be right. You'll be fine. Yeah, and you said to me, I did touch you.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  I've got something to say, I did touch you.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Right, I can rest easy, you know, thank God. So it was you.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  But it's, you can clearly see in the clip, I just sort of went around and thought, I'll never get away with this because he's obviously going to see it's me. And then, I then actually realised, no, he doesn't realise it's me. And Malcolm, our wonderful guy who was playing along, I think he saw me touch you. And I thought, what, it'd be ridiculous. We've made good entertainment. I'll just continue the, and just a bare-faced lie to your face.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  I shit myself. And then I was going home and I was like, I've always had a sixth sense since I was a child and stuff. Honestly, and I, I've been like looking into going on courses and stuff, genuinely.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Don't say you talked to Yvette Fielding about.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  No, but I was like, I was on like weird forums because I always.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  I've told you not to look at those.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  No, like honestly, because it's not funny because I was like, I got touched and I thought it was a ghost trying to contact me and obviously.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  I'm just staring on the forum. I've been touched. I've been touched by a ghost.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Right, and then it remembers, right? Because obviously we had the gay ghost, yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  But when I was younger, a doctor with a polka dot bag used to come and visit me.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  What's this?

• 25:57Speaker 02

  Right. No, I know you're laughing.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  But I always.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  A doctor with a polka dot bag?

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Used to come and visit me in the middle of the night.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  And I, we like brought all that back and I've always, I've walked into rooms and stuff. I've told you about.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  Well, we've all walked into rooms.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  And felt it. I told you about when I stayed.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  What are you doing? Why are you feeling yourself?

• 26:21Speaker 02

  Because I'm, the sixth senses are going. That's why I'm, you, so I genuinely thought there was a ghost trying to contact me and I've like been looking into it.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  No, I just tapped her on the shoulder.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Some tarot cards that I've ordered and everything. Because I was like, I maybe need to look into it. And then I remember I stayed at my mate's house, I told you, didn't I?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  And I woke up, went for a wee.

• 26:40Speaker 03

  That was his grandma.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  And his grandma put me back to bed. And I said, as I got it, and so I thought.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Well, you, I don't want to diminish that. Maybe you still do.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  I don't know because I'm too scared. I don't want to, if there's any ghosts listening, I'm, I'm not interested. I'm not up for that. I've got enough going on as it is without being a medium. If anything, I'm a large.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  You've just, okay, fine. That was, okay, Steve Allen's joke that we talked about.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I genuinely went home that night and was like, hi.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Sorry, that was me.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  I see dead people.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  So.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  You don't.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  That wasn't a very nice joke. So you can watch that on our Patreon, but I genuinely shit myself. It's just, it was a slight touch.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Yes, it wasn't, if I'd gone quite heavily, I think you would have immediately not known it wasn't.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  That's why I get scared. Some people love it. I don't want to be in contact with the dead. Do you know what?

• 27:31Speaker 04

  Sure, cross to bear.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Hmm. I dream about dead people all the time. Yeah, so it's taken a dad turn.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  It's taken, it's taken a turn. Should we cheer us up with the jolly joke of the week?

• 27:41Speaker 02

  I always find feathers as well.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  What, in bed?

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Find a feather. It's like someone in your life.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  You've just got like a leaky cushion.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  No, a bird feather.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  You've run over a duck or something.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  That is a bird feather.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Bird feather. I always find them and that's someone's doing that.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, what, what feathers do you think are in your pillows?

• 28:01Speaker 02

  My pillows from Ikea.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  I'm sure Ikea sell feather pillows.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  They might do. Right, do you want a jolly joke of the week?

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Please, here's the jingle.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  All right, oh, there's a few from, uh, this guy's Mr. Fandango. I think we might have read a few of his before, Mr. Fandango on Insta. What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

• 28:40Speaker 02

  And I'll tell you the punchline after the break.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  This episode is sponsored by Uncommon Goods.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  You know what's coming around the corner?

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Christmas.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Of course, yes.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  What have you got, mate?

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, nothing yet.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Can I, uh, make a little suggestion?

• 28:53Speaker 03

  Okay, go on.

• 28:54Speaker 02

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• 29:25Speaker 03

  Uh, if it's handcrafted, I mean, I love handcrafted ceramics.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Handcrafted, includes a little six-ounce cup topped with a 14-ounce teapot lid. Perfect for those little solo tea moments when you take your little tea up to your study.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Yes, because so, so many teapots are too big. I mean, fine if you got, you know, the village round.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  But it's, it's not good if it's just for you. Well, that's kind. Now, for you, I'm thinking a cast iron potato baker. So you can cook your potatoes to perfection.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  Oh, wow, that sounds amazing.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  What's your favourite potato topping?

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Cheese.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Good answer.

• 29:56Speaker 02

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• 31:21Speaker 02

  All right, Jean Devers, thanks for sticking with us. It's time for Jordan's Jolly Joke of the Week. This one's from Mr. Fandango on Instagram. Says, what does a necrophiliac get at a funeral? Morning wood.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  Oh. Oh, my God.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  It's a bit harsh, that.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Hmm. It's a little more illegal.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Where do Irish lesbians like to meet?

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  At the Gaelic bar?

• 31:47Speaker 03

  That's rubbish. A few nods in the studio.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  What does licking fanny and the mafia have in common?

• 31:58Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  I think we might have done this one. One slip of their tongue and you're in the shit.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Well, I don't feel like they've gone down well this week.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  No, I think Mr. Fandango doesn't need to contribute anymore.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  All right, here we go. This one's from Jordan on Instagram. What do you call a woman who burns at a bills?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  What?

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Oh, what do you call? It's a nice clean one.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  What do you call a woman who burns a bills?

• 32:26Speaker 03

  As in her invoices and things? I don't know.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  Bernadette.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  I think it should be a different word as burns in any way.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, who sets fire to her bills.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  Exactly. Thank you, William.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Bernadette.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Bernadette, because then you don't repeat the burn word.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  All right.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  It works a bit better just for next time.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  What ones do you want to cook from there?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  All of them?

• 32:51Speaker 02

  All right, well, I think they've gone down like a lead balloon this week. I tell you what about the shoes?

• 32:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  I were late on on this one. I'm sure I have. I sent some shoes on in Clarks and he said they don't fit. He said, try it with tongue out. I said, they still don't fit.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Yes, you have done that.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  All right, I'm done.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  That's a fun one.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  I'm done. I'm done.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  What, forever?

• 33:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  It's a very popular segment, Jordan's Jolly Joke of the Week. Thank you very much.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  I wasn't excited.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  It's a very popular segment.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  In your postcode.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  What?

• 33:24Speaker 03

  In your own postcode.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Right, before we get on to modern day problems and dilemmas, tomorrow we've got another Patreon episode.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Yes, that's right. Premium members of our Patreon channel, Help My Sex and My Boss, Out of Office.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Get brand new episodes every Wednesday. There's also the free group chat. You can join at any time.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Last Wednesday, we went and had the Woolies Puzz at a haunted house.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Yes, and tomorrow's episode, we have opened ourselves up again for another round of Ask Us Anything.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  All you've got to do is head to helpmysexandmyboss.com/patreon and watch and listen there.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Can I talk about the script? What's happened to Comic Sans? I thought she liked Comic Sans, or is that not happening full time? Did you like Comic Sans?

• 34:02Speaker 02

  No, I might be with this.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  Okay, fine. I just wondered.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  All right. Right now, it's time for your questions and dilemmas.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send your tales of trepidation to [email protected] or you can DM us. We're at Sex and My Bus on the socials.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Okay, this is from Sam. Hello, William, Jordan and the Sexed Gang. I have an office question which may divide the studio. Oh. Leg shaking. When is enough enough? There is a colleague who sits opposite me. Let's call him Carl. He's not the nicest person on the planet and tends to think primarily of himself. He always also shakes his legs. And when I say always, I mean always. Now, I appreciate that people often can't help it. It could be a nervous twitch, anxiety, or simply a habit. However, no matter how many times I ask him to stop, he'll stop for about five minutes before starting again. Normally, it wouldn't bother me. However, the way he sits and shakes his leg causes my desk chair and monitors to physically shake. It gets to the point where I feel sick because I can't properly focus on my screen. So what is the correct course of action here?

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Yours faithfully, a loyal Jean Dever, Sam.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  It could be anxiety, ADHD as well.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Like shaking, twitching.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  I think you've already asked him, he can't stop. It's, you've got to go to your manager.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  Or you've got to move desks.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Move away from them.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  Go to your manager, move desks, move away from them, especially if it's making you feel sick. Like, you've already addressed it, which is the hardest part. And just say, look, I'm really sorry. I know you can't help it, but it, it makes me feel sick. So yeah, I just go to your line manager, HR, see if you can move desks. Say I want to move desks.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Sounds like it's really getting on your nerves.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean medically, he probably might need to get himself checked out because all our legs shake from time to time, but not constantly, as you're saying, this person.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  And I don't even know if lying down or in bed or on settee.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  They rub.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Your feet rub?

• 35:52Speaker 02

  My feet, I just constantly rub them. I don't even know I'm doing it. So like, if I've no shoes or socks on, I'll be laid on settee.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Have you Googled that, what that means?

• 36:00Speaker 02

  It is, they. Yeah, and it's just like that. I just, I don't even know I'm doing it. And they call it, what do they call it, not twitching?

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Weird?

• 36:09Speaker 02

  It's like a thing. I just do it constantly.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, I would, Sam, I'd, I'd move desks. I think that's probably the only course of action you can do. He says, I don't know how many desks there are in your office. You could be in office of four. So who knows? This is from anonymous. To my darlings in the Sexed team and in particular the delectable Diego. I have quite the dilemma that I'd love your help with. I've been dating my boyfriend for several months and everything had been going swimmingly. However, we recently went to stay at his mother's house for the first time. It was quite a spontaneous trip, so I hurriedly packed a wash kit and overnight bag to bring with me. Unfortunately, in a rush, I completely forgot to pack any deodorant. I improvised and after taking a shower, I used some spray deodorant that belonged to his mother from the cupboard. When I went back to my boyfriend's company, I didn't mention this minor issue as it seemed so relevant.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  As the evening went on, we ended up cuddled up together and he took a big sniff of me and says, mm, smells like sex. As you can imagine, I froze in this moment and didn't dare mention that the smell was actually the deodorant of his own mother.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Oh, Christ.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  We proceeded to get intimate. Yes, in the Jordan fashion. And it was the most passionate he'd ever been. On reflection, I do look somewhat like his mother, tall, blonde, long hair. So my question is, do I run for the hills and completely vanish on this man? Do I bring it up and address the issue head on, which is what his mother would do? He'd probably love that. Or do I pretend this never happened and try to bury this deep into my subconscious? All my love, anonymous.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  That's brilliant. That's weird and brilliant, but it's.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  I think bury it.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  I'm all for going to therapy, but bury that.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Bury that. And if he, if he asks again, say, do you know that smell you had on? Just say, it was your mum's deodorant. So, and it'll, that'll cut an end to it, but bury it. Don't need to say it. Don't say, you know that wild sex we had that time? Because that'll send him into a spiral.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  You'd, you'd hope it was.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  But if he says, you know that sex we had that time and you had a smell on? Can you like get that moment and go, just to let you know it was your mum's deodorant? That'll put an end to it. However.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  People walk past me, like I'll be on the tube or go past me and what have you. And I'm like, oh, it smells like my mum. And my mum wears Chanel number five, which is quite a popular one.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Marilyn Monroe?

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Hmm, so every time I smell Chanel number five, mine's my mum. Not in a weird way.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  But I always just, I just always, I get it every Christmas. And my grandma wears it as well.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  So every time I go, oh.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  I'll get one free.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's go, oh.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  I'm going to come in one week and wear Chanel number five.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  That will do all, yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  Next time I dress up as your mum?

• 38:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Chanel number five. What does your mum wear?

• 38:45Speaker 03

  It's an Yves Saint Laurent Reebok.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  I don't know what you've just said to me, but it sounds fancy.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  It's in a blue and black packaging. She's always worn it.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Do you know the best smelling lady I've ever smelled? My next door neighbour, Maureen.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Okay, what does she wear? Have you asked her?

• 39:00Speaker 02

  I ask her and I forget every time, but she says she's often complimented on it. It's beautiful. She always wears it.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  I've never been complimented on my smell.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  You don't wear aftershave?

• 39:14Speaker 04

  No, I do.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Do you?

• 39:15Speaker 03

  What do you wear?

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Oh, what do I wear?

• 39:19Speaker 03

  I mean, you can't even remember it. So, I mean, no wonder, because you've clearly just picked the first available thing.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  Personal.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  We need to find a scent for Ben.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  But we've talked about this before, please.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Jupe?

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Blue jeans. Remember them?

• 39:35Speaker 03

  Lynx Africa.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  I used to, I've gone through, say, do you remember 212? I used to love that.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  It's a football formation, isn't it?

• 39:41Speaker 02

  No, no, I used to wear that. But we just go easy on the aftershave. People are spraying too much at the moment and it's so overpowering, especially oud. There's a big, strong smell of oud around.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't want to smell your oud.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  No, yeah. What do you smell? Come here, I'll be able to tell you.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  What do you wear?

• 39:57Speaker 04

  I can't remember.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Get your eye protons off and come here, I'll tell you.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Jack, what do you wear?

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Calvin, oh, close personal friend, yep.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  Well, tell him you said hello.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  Calvin Klein, what?

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Come here.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  One.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Come here.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sorry, didn't do it.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  I know what that is.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Talc.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Actually don't know. You've not got enough on.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Can I kiss it?

• 40:24Speaker 03

  I can't smell anything, if I'm honest. I've either got Covid or.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Talc.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  Well, William says that you can only do two pumps.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  No, dude.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  Was that something else? Was that about something else?

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Ben, I told you not to say.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  It's like a ch, ch, ch, three pumps I do.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  Anyway, I got it in the airport. I kind of need to.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  Man who buys fragrance in the airport.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  I get mine from the airport. Also, top tip, Jean Devers, if you're going on a really nice holiday.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, get a spritz yourself, yeah.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Pardon?

• 40:53Speaker 03

  What, spritz yourself?

• 40:53Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. This is a really good tip. Get a new, get a new aftershave. Spray yourself with it and then every time you use it again, it reminds you of that holiday.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  That's why I did it. That's why I did it.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  I've got one that reminds me of Skegness.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  We did it the day. Oh, yeah. Well, Jack is pointing out that a while ago, we did a thing on Instagram, what everyone's sent. Well, I've actually changed my sense since then. What was Ben's then?

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I changed mine. That's Prada. I did that because it was.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  The devil wears.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Is mine on there? What was mine at the time? Please, Jack.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Maison Margiello Jazz Club.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Yep, that's still me.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Maison, what a gay scent.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Maison, what is it called? It's Jazz Club I always get. Jazz Club.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  That jazz. Oh, you're coming to see me again, aren't you? I believe, in December.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Hama.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  Apparently.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  Oh, Hama?

• 41:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Oh, great.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  I've been told.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Oh, has that been? Oh, I don't know.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's been booked. Yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Do you know what I'm going to see?

• 42:01Speaker 03

  You know, I've cut the joke about you. I'm sorry.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Oh, no. Put it in for when I'm there.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Okay, fine.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  All right. Yeah, I'm meant to be going. I've told you this.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  Have I told you this?

• 42:11Speaker 03

  What?

• 42:12Speaker 02

  Playing, um.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Don't laugh.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Are you in panto?

• 42:17Speaker 02

  No. We're playing Millwall Away.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Got them all coming down. I was like, oh, the brother.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Oh, Burnley playing. So, because Millwall's London, yes?

• 42:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Burnley playing Millwall Away, Ben.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Got all my brothers coming down. I'll be at Millwall.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't go. I'm going to a matinee of Pride, the musical.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  I I'm still not told him. I haven't got.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  You'll have a better time.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  I haven't got. It's one of my favourite films, Pride.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mikey saw the film. Uh, sorry, the musical. It's very good.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  But it's one of my favourite films.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  Well, let's hope you like the musical.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  So, two of my friends have bought me tickets for the matinee. My back.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  For matinee?

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  For a matinee?

• 43:01Speaker 02

  But if you've, Gene Devers, if you've never seen Pride, the film, watch it. It's.

• 43:05Speaker 04

  Oh, it's incredible.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  It's, uh, it's, uh, one of my dad's, one of my dad's favourite films as well.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Imelda Thompson, isn't it?

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's basically, long story cut short, before we go back on to it, it's about the miners' strike and then, um, the, these gays from London that come up to this little village in Cardiff to help raise money for the miners that haven't. It's, it's a beautiful film. It's amazing. Anyway, it's fantastic.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  I actually haven't seen it.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  Have you not?

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Oh, we'll do a night at mine because it's, it's, it's.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Share my diary.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  It's amazing. It makes me cry every time. Where are my gays? Where are my gays? Stuart, tell me you've seen it. I haven't seen it. Oh, my God, as a Welshman. It's a beaut- Joe, put Pride up on thing carousel.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  How many, how long is our film sort of?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Oh, it's beautiful.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Night gonna be at Jordan's?

• 43:54Speaker 03

  We've got to do the documentary.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  Where are my gays? Where are my gays? My gays are here. It's so funny. Go on, anyway.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Right, this is from Matt. Hi, William and Jordan. What do you think is the acceptable age of a profile picture on a dating app? I know someone who has pictures of him from 2006. He denied it being that old, but behind him was a poster explaining the introduction of Chip and Pin. Matt.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, one year.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Oh, I think three.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  No, well, if you have.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  This is a great question.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  If you look exactly the same, you've moisturised, you've put spuff on your face, you've had botox, whatever, potentially.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  I would say a year.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Let's do a poll. Joe?

• 44:33Speaker 03

  Oh, poor Joe. She's gonna work over to putting in extra hours.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Let's do a poll on Instagram. This is a really good question.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  One year tops. Maybe fourteen months.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  So I need to change my WhatsApp picture because that's about four years old.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  And if you've got a picture of you in sunglasses, it should not be picture one. It should be like picture five.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:50Speaker 03

  You want to see your eyes.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  This is a great question. See, I'd say two to three years. But, yeah, one year.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  And none of you, none of you and friends.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  None of you and a celebrity. It's dull. It's tragic.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go three years max, but my WhatsApp picture I've not changed for years.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Well, that's fine because it's not, you're not using your WhatsApp as a dating service.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  I need to change my Insta picture as well.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  You do.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  I do.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  That's a few years.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I need to change that as well. Right, I'm, I'm gonna say three years max. No, if it's dating, you're right. Eighteen months. I'll go halfway. Ben?

• 45:26Speaker 04

  How old is mine?

• 45:27Speaker 02

  No, how old? Well, I hope you haven't got a dating profile pic.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  Oh, what? No, I don't.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  How old, how old do you think?

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Not anymore.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  What's the longest you can, a year?

• 45:37Speaker 04

  No, because I think like the reality is like, like a lot of people don't get that many photos of themselves.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  And some.

• 45:43Speaker 04

  Like, not everyone can just like pay a photographer to get like nice photos of themselves, can't they, William?

• 45:48Speaker 02

  Hmm. Great.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  Like every year. Like, it's not, it's not, that's not accessible. So it's like, like the reality is, yes, it's gonna be pictures with your mates. It's gonna be like random, like maybe a cheeky selfie.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Sorry, William.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  It's a tough one. We'll put that out.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  I think five years.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Five?

• 46:04Speaker 04

  But, no, okay, crucially, let's like, we can't do the full maths here, but like.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  You looked very different five years ago.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  No, I didn't.

• 46:10Speaker 03

  Yes, you did.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  No, he didn't. He looks exactly the.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  You've gone through about seventeen different hairs.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, he looks the same. He's not aged that much.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  That was you three years ago, love.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  I had a moustache.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Let's have a look.

• 46:20Speaker 04

  And the listeners can't see my moustache, you holding up a frame.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Why am I got a moustache now?

• 46:25Speaker 04

  I think it's, I think it's dependent on how old you are as well, because obviously if you're twenty one, you're not gonna have a picture on your profile of you when you were seventeen.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  I know people who do.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Anyway, well, do you know what? We'll put it out as a poll and we'll come back to it on a, on a Friday episode. But it's a great question. But, yeah, one from two thousand and six, tech in piss. Is that that scene from The Office?

• 46:49Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Where she turns up and goes, oh, f- hmm.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  This is from Jenna. Hello to the Sex and Crew. I've listened to the podcast since the beginning and I finally have a dilemma. My neighbour is an elderly lady who lives by herself and I'm a twenty five year old female. In my neighbour's front and back garden, she has a lot of bird feeders and bird baths, so there are plenty of pigeons shitting about. Now, the problem is that I have a phobia of birds. Ever since, I had a traumatic experience at the age of four on holiday in Benidorm. My dad sprinkled bird seeds around my pram and I got flopped by birds, so I freaked out. Every time I go to the front or back door, my heart falls through my arse as I hear the birds flapping on the fence to fly away. So my question is, can I do anything about this? Do I tell her to take my phobia into consideration and not attract birds? Or do I have to get therapy? Yours sincerely, Jenna from Leeds, marching on together.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  Leeds fans. Uh, it, it's a tough one. Therapy's expensive. It's also, are you in the right?

• 47:43Speaker 03

  You could get one of those sort of animatronic-y sort of like big, bigger birds, plasticky ones that could sit out near you, that other birds would be scared of.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Just see, no, that's how your mind works. I was gonna say you could get a shotgun licence.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that's a, that's a bit much.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Just go out back and go, there's a new sheriff in town. Put a mobile light in your mouth as well, so they're in the park and just go and just like set off a few warning shots. Um, but yeah, you can get one. And can't you get, there's like, one of those noises that keeps birds away as well.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Possibly.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Like a little, it's like a beeping that keeps deer away and stuff.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  I think, okay, I don't think you can do anything about your neighbour's back garden, but you could, because the front garden and obviously you're exiting through your front garden, you could just say, look, I don't know what your relations are like with the elderly neighbour next door, but you could say, this is the sitch. I'm a bit scared. Could we mind, would you mind reducing the number of bird feeders and baths in the front? It's up to them. They can say, no, it's their house. They can do what they like.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Unless it's a shared front garden.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Now, if this was me and it was snakes, I'd know exactly what you were. I'd shit myself. I probably would get therapy. But even then, I don't think I'd ever get over snakes. I was in a coffin full of them once and.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  And you're not over them, no.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Probably worse. So I don't like, yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 04

  How, um, William, how do you keep the birds away?

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Just pipe it in my mouth. They get the idea.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Hear me out. What would you do if your neighbour had a load of rats?

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Oh, go, move.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  Exactly. So probably therapy.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Because if it was me, if I open my back garden and next door I had a load of snakes in, I would shit myself. Yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 03

  Ugh.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. So maybe therapy is the question, but trying, I think there is like a little sound you can get.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, some sort of bird deterrent.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can get a bird deterrent so you know they'll never come in yours. And then, and then if they stop coming, don't tell her.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  And then let her knock on your door and say, I believe you've got a bird deterrent. And apparently bird feeds now just attract rats.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah, they can do.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  So no one wants rats.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  This is from anonymous. Hi, Jordan, William and the Sexed Team. I find myself facing a delicate dilemma. We recently went away and graciously allowed my friend's eighteen year old daughter and her boyfriend to house sit. Upon our return, I opened my bedside drawer to find they had left behind two souvenirs, a bottle of lube and a bottle of sex toy cleaner. Fortunately, the primary apparatus was nowhere to be found.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Sorry, you can get sex toy cleaner?

• 50:08Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  You can't just use wet wipes.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Jordan's adding it to his wishlist.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  You can get actual sex toy cleaner.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I think that's a little bit Emperor's New Clothes. You could probably just use Fairy Liquid or the dishwasher.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  A sex toy cleaner? I genuinely never heard of that.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  Rather than mortify a shy teenager with direct confrontation, I devised a covert retrieval operation. Two weeks later, I booked her to babysit, intentionally leaving the drawer accessible so she could quietly reclaim her intimate sanitation supplies with her dignity intact. When we returned from our night out, I eagerly checked the drawer. The products remained unclaimed, staring back at me. What's the correct protocol here? Do I discreetly slip them in her coat pocket next time she's over?

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Bin them! Just bin them!

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Post them back via special delivery with a polite compliment slip? Or quietly bin them and pretend this biological warfare on my bedside table never occurred? Keep up the fantastic work. Anonymous.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Bin them!

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Bin them. What was it? Sex toy cleaner and?

• 51:12Speaker 03

  Lube.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Lube?

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Lube, keep it for yourself. Sex toy cleaner, well, again, you can keep that for yourself. They left them at your house and they haven't collected them? Or you just...

• 51:22Speaker 03

  We've all got urges, we've all got drives, we've all got juices. You just go, I think you left these. That's all you need to do.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Sorry, we've all got juices?

• 51:30Speaker 03

  It's a day method line, but yeah, you just hand it over.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  No, bin them!

• 51:35Speaker 03

  No, that's not your property.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Also, are you sure they were... That means they've had sex in her bed.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, there's a lot to...

• 51:41Speaker 02

  A lot of issues there, isn't there?

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Have you ever watched the episode of My Wife and Kids? Most underrated sitcom ever.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:48Speaker 02

  Did you ever watch it?

• 51:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  And Junior has sex with his girlfriend in the bed and he gets thrown out the house. And that changes the bed with tongs, you know, pincers.

• 51:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Funny.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Sounds...

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Did you ever watch My Wife and Kids?

• 52:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  That was the funniest. Did you get any of these?

• 52:06Speaker 02

  Nah. Nah, you don't.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  Absolutely hilarious.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  It was so good.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Okay, well, I'll give it a watch.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  I always say now, I feel good about myself. It's so good.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Good.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  It's about this family in America. It's great.

• 52:20Speaker 03

  Thank you for your questions and dilemmas, June Devers.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  Is that it?

• 52:22Speaker 03

  That is it.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  It was on Trouble, if you remember that.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Sounds like, sounds like it's trouble.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday or join us tomorrow for an exclusive Help I Sexed My Boss Out of Office episode over on Patreon. We will see you on... What day are we on?

• 52:37Speaker 03

  We're on Tuesday. We'll see you on Friday.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  We'll see you on Friday.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  Goodbye.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Bye bye.

• 52:47Speaker 02

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