Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss Fancy Dress Fantasies | And Dry Humping About this episode We all have fantasies. Some of us like a perfectly mixed Martini at midday, whereas others prefer to be tied up with a velvet dressing gown belt. And some of us like to be wooed by people dressed up as fictional characters - and it seems like there's A LOT of you who do! We also find out about a new pact William and Jordan are thinking of making together that involves dry humping.
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Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production.
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Transcript 0:01 Speaker 00 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are gonna cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit in search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
0:46 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode. This is where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you. Our Jane Devers.
0:59 Speaker 02 How are you? What are you doing this weekend? Any football matches?
1:02 Speaker 01 Uh, well, obviously you've got the World Cup now, haven't we?
1:05 Speaker 02 No, that you're in.
1:06 Speaker 01 Oh, no, none, none that I'm in, but, uh...
1:10 Speaker 02 Was soccer a part of the World Cup?
1:11 Speaker 01 No, you daft git, no. What am I doing this weekend? Oh, I've got, uh, what am I doing? I think I'm doing paddle on Saturday and I've got my mate Rick coming down with kids on Sunday.
1:22 Speaker 02 Lovely.
1:23 Speaker 01 It's a second C Toy Story.
1:25 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
1:25 Speaker 01 The Godchildren.
1:27 Speaker 02 Anything to boost sales.
1:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, the Godchildren.
1:30 Speaker 03 Hi guys, do you get a slice of the profit from Toy Story if it does really well?
1:33 Speaker 01 Absolutely not. No. No.
1:37 Speaker 03 Need a better agent.
1:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, oh, well, I will, uh, I will pass that. You are picking battles this week. First with William and now with the agent.
1:46 Speaker 02 Hmm, interesting approach.
1:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, very interesting approach.
1:50 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:51 Speaker 01 Oh, sorry, how are you? How's your weekend looking?
1:54 Speaker 02 I'm working, aren't I?
1:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:55 Speaker 02 As I am for the next six weeks.
1:57 Speaker 01 You're a West End girl, aren't you?
1:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, double shows on the weekends.
2:01 Speaker 01 How many, how many are you doing this weekend?
2:03 Speaker 02 Two, well, four.
2:04 Speaker 01 Four. What time's the Saturday show?
2:07 Speaker 02 Saturday show is 2.30.
2:08 Speaker 01 Till?
2:09 Speaker 02 We're finished. And then, uh, the next show, the evening show, 7.30.
2:13 Speaker 01 What do you do in the gap?
2:15 Speaker 02 Um, chat, yeah, get food.
2:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:19 Speaker 02 Have, probably get martini.
2:22 Speaker 02 Pop out.
2:23 Speaker 01 Wow.
2:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. I don't guess at the time because I haven't done it yet, so I haven't, I don't know.
2:27 Speaker 01 I'd like to know that. They're grafters, those WestEnders.
2:29 Speaker 02 Oh, yes, they do.
2:30 Speaker 01 I went every weekend, as obviously you know.
2:33 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
2:33 Speaker 01 Part of a life at the weekend, can't you?
2:35 Speaker 02 One day off a week, Monday.
2:37 Speaker 01 Fair enough.
2:38 Speaker 02 Yeah. Um, now, last week, we featured a dilemma from a Gen Diva who had dressed up as Doctor Who for his wife. His plans went awry when he arrived home in his new outfit and started talking dirty to her without realising her parents were in the next room.
2:51 Speaker 01 You know, he talked dirty, it's Doctor Who, that still baffles me.
2:54 Speaker 02 And could hear everything. Now, we're obviously, we know this, we're not a sex.
2:59 Speaker 01 We're not a sex podcast, we cannot, like,
3:02 Speaker 02 No.
3:02 Speaker 01 stress that enough. We do all sorts of dilemmas. We had briefcases last week.
3:06 Speaker 02 Yes, on Tuesday. Um, it did make us, however, wonder who our listeners' fictional character fancy dress fantasies are, so we asked. So we'll see what we can make of your filthy little perversions, it says here. The most common suggestion was ghost face from Scream, a black cloak and rubber mask. Obviously, I'm halfway there with my opera cape, but I've never used it sexually.
3:29 Speaker 01 Did you ever wear Scream as Halloween?
3:31 Speaker 02 I didn't do Halloween, I've never done Halloween.
3:34 Speaker 01 You've never dressed up for Halloween as a kid?
3:35 Speaker 02 Never.
3:36 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, that explains a lot.
3:38 Speaker 02 We lived in the middle of nowhere.
3:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, but you could still get dropped off at local estate and go trick or treating.
3:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, no. Um, well, what did you dress up as?
3:47 Speaker 01 Oh, all sorts. Did Scream, I went as Scarecrow. Me and Wendy often used to clash at Halloween.
3:51 Speaker 02 Scarecrow, what, from Wizard of Oz?
3:53 Speaker 01 I've never told you this before.
3:54 Speaker 02 You went as the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz.
3:56 Speaker 01 I went as a scarecrow.
3:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, but come on, it was, knowing you, it was Wizard of Oz.
4:01 Speaker 01 No, it wasn't, it was just.
4:02 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, actually, you and your brothers could be the perfect, all of you, one of you could be Dorothy.
4:08 Speaker 01 Who could that be?
4:08 Speaker 02 On the back of a postcard, who that is, Scarecrow, Tin Man and the Lion.
4:12 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. She never did, well, I went as Scarecrow.
4:15 Speaker 02 Get the dog, what's the dog called, Kate, can be Toto.
4:19 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, yeah. So I went, she put a broom in my arm.
4:23 Speaker 02 Hmm.
4:23 Speaker 01 Right? And then she stuffed me with straw and stuff, but my dad was away and she didn't drive, so I had to walk to the mate. By the time I walked there, all the straw had come out. So it was just this kid with a broom.
4:33 Speaker 02 I think of it, you look like Jesus.
4:35 Speaker 01 Couldn't get through the door. She had to go through all the doors like this. We used to clap, me and Wendy used to have what, what we now laugh at and call.
4:42 Speaker 02 Creative differences.
4:43 Speaker 01 Over food tech and Halloween.
4:47 Speaker 01 Or used to fall outs from at Rotten Over Food Tech.
4:50 Speaker 02 Um. A few people mentioned Spider-Man. Now, I wonder if they've listened to our episode from two thousand and twenty-two, which featured a G and Dva who end up cheating on their boyfriend with his cousin while he was dressed as Spider-Man.
5:00 Speaker 01 Jesus Christ.
5:01 Speaker 03 We've all been there.
5:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:03 Speaker 01 We've had some, we've had some weird, I can't remem-, I vaguely remember that.
5:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was like, uh, yeah, yeah. I mean, at the time, that was, we thought that was the most outrageous thing that someone could write in with.
5:13 Speaker 01 Probably still is up there, shacking your cousin as Spider-Man.
5:16 Speaker 02 Hmm.
5:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's, you know, it's still up there.
5:20 Speaker 02 It is, um, um, Roxy has a thing for Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks, the nerdy one with glasses.
5:26 Speaker 01 Simon Theodore.
5:29 Speaker 02 And Rose of Out Two. Yeah.
5:32 Speaker 01 With the Chipmunks, my dad hated that one.
5:35 Speaker 02 Really? Why?
5:36 Speaker 01 Because the voices used to do his editing.
5:38 Speaker 02 What, the squeaky voices?
5:39 Speaker 01 I can't be doing that, turning off, turning out. He, he loved Simpsons. I'm rewatching all Simpsons at the moment, the old ones, they're class. He loved all Simpsons.
5:46 Speaker 02 How did you have the time?
5:48 Speaker 01 When I get home from work.
5:49 Speaker 03 Bliss hour.
5:50 Speaker 01 Before my tea.
5:51 Speaker 02 Do you still do your bliss hour? You don't really talk about it anymore.
5:53 Speaker 01 Bliss hour for donkeys, as you can tell.
5:55 Speaker 02 Hmm.
5:56 Speaker 01 I look like shit.
5:57 Speaker 02 You don't look like shit.
5:58 Speaker 01 I look like shit at the moment, but, um.
6:00 Speaker 03 That's the red.
6:04 Speaker 01 But he lov-, he lov-, he loved Arthur.
6:06 Speaker 02 Okay, yeah.
6:07 Speaker 01 Uh, he loved, he liked A. Arnold. Oh, he loved Keenan and Cal. He really liked Johnny Bravo, which says a lot.
6:15 Speaker 02 Hmm.
6:16 Speaker 01 Okay. Never liked Alvin and the Chipmunks.
6:17 Speaker 02 Um, Claire would like her husband to dress as Father Christmas as he's her perfect man. Only comes once a year. What, I don't, why? Why is that? I don't.
6:27 Speaker 03 He works hard, doesn't he, Father Christmas? He looks after.
6:29 Speaker 01 He works all year round, to be fair.
6:31 Speaker 03 What's Mrs Claus?
6:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, Gimme's just got all elves to look after. Gimme's due.
6:35 Speaker 02 All right. Fair, sorry, sorry.
6:37 Speaker 03 He runs a tight ship, but very fairly, I'd say.
6:39 Speaker 01 Thank you, Ben.
6:41 Speaker 02 Ellie's dream is Bob Belcher from Bob's Burgers. Who the dickens is that?
6:45 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
6:47 Speaker 02 Is that a Simpsons thing?
6:48 Speaker 01 No, it's Bob's Burger, Bob's, Bob's Burgers. It's a cartoon.
6:53 Speaker 02 Okay.
6:53 Speaker 01 It's like an adult cartoon.
6:55 Speaker 02 Ed would love someone dressing up as Mr. Tumble.
6:58 Speaker 01 He's taken now, isn't he, Mr. Tumble?
6:59 Speaker 02 Isn't he from CBB's?
7:00 Speaker 01 Yeah. Do you know, he can sell out arenas.
7:03 Speaker 02 That's Justin Fletcher.
7:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, as well. Uh, mums love him.
7:09 Speaker 01 Mum's love mainly because she can keep kids quiet for half an hour.
7:11 Speaker 02 Well, yeah.
7:12 Speaker 01 Loving.
7:12 Speaker 02 Hmm.
7:13 Speaker 01 Who's the other one? She's like a Brazilian hair. Miss Rachel.
7:17 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard of that.
7:19 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. Got, um, you get in. I remember going around to Brads' to see my kids and she's on and she's like, hey, everybody. Now we're gonna teach you how to do. Incy wincy spider climbed up. You watch it and go, who is she? And after five minutes, you're like.
7:35 Speaker 01 I can't do incy wincy spider, by the way. I could never do it as a kid, could you?
7:38 Speaker 02 No.
7:39 Speaker 01 Incy wincy spider climbed up the wall.
7:41 Speaker 02 We used to do Shakespeare's sonnets.
7:43 Speaker 01 Down came the rain and washed.
7:45 Speaker 02 Oh, that's, we have a dance move in Titanic like that.
7:48 Speaker 01 Oh, my god. Seven, twenty, seven minutes in. Seven minutes in.
7:53 Speaker 03 Is that real?
7:54 Speaker 02 What?
7:56 Speaker 01 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. No, you, you own it. Go on, who else?
8:00 Speaker 02 Um, Sarah loves the idea of someone dressed up as the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera.
8:05 Speaker 01 I get it. That could be quite hot.
8:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:07 Speaker 01 Little half mask.
8:09 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, although he has a full mask.
8:11 Speaker 01 Dum, dum, dum, dum.
8:12 Speaker 02 Not Phantom.
8:13 Speaker 01 Dum, dum, dum, dum. Yeah, it is.
8:15 Speaker 02 No, it's not.
8:16 Speaker 01 What was that one then?
8:18 Speaker 02 Uh, well, that's.
8:19 Speaker 01 Dracula.
8:20 Speaker 02 That's not Dracula. I can't remember what that is.
8:21 Speaker 01 Dum, dum, dum, dum.
8:22 Speaker 02 Phantom is. Da, da, da, da, da.
8:25 Speaker 01 Da, da, da, da. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.
8:28 Speaker 02 No.
8:31 Speaker 02 You just sound dum, dum, dum, dum, dum at the moment.
8:33 Speaker 01 Da, da, da, da.
8:35 Speaker 02 No.
8:35 Speaker 01 Da, da, da, da. It's in me throat that. That old Phantom.
8:46 Speaker 01 Right at the back of me throat, that Phantom.
8:48 Speaker 02 Well, it gets everywhere. Um. I was, I, I do think now. I'm sorry, you're all gonna go beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I know, in my head, I know my favourite game to play is which role are they gonna offer me next? And, uh.
9:05 Speaker 02 Hairspray. Oh, yeah, maybe.
9:06 Speaker 01 Be great in Hairspray.
9:07 Speaker 02 Um. Phantom.
9:10 Speaker 01 It would be good.
9:10 Speaker 02 I mean, it's, I can't sing a note, but, uh, it amuses me to think that I could be cast as.
9:15 Speaker 01 I, I, I think. There's other roles out there for you, Ben.
9:19 Speaker 03 I was gonna say, I think we should put it out to the G and D's.
9:22 Speaker 02 What roles?
9:22 Speaker 03 What role is?
9:23 Speaker 02 Serious and non-serious. And also for balance, Jordan. And it did make me think.
9:29 Speaker 01 I'm not doing much. I ain't gonna dance move in me.
9:31 Speaker 02 No, obviously, you know, I could play tall, statuesque roles. You, you could play Paddington.
9:38 Speaker 03 Or is it Mr. Tumble? Mr. North? Children's entertainer.
9:48 Speaker 01 Also, can the shit-house G and D-vas, I've just remembered, can you stop commenting on Socc- Socceroo post going, well, that was good for 20 years? Now, since I've been on it. Have you seen all the posts? I've actually been asked by someone from Socceroo. And then all the G and D-vas stop saying, every time I'm on somewhere going, oh, well, Socceroo was good.
10:05 Speaker 02 No, and in their defence, the wheel is still going.
10:09 Speaker 01 Yes.
10:09 Speaker 02 And you appeared on that last year with me.
10:11 Speaker 01 This morning, I'm on all the time.
10:13 Speaker 02 You're not on this morning. When was the last time you did this morning?
10:16 Speaker 01 I was on recently for Summertime Bowl.
10:18 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, okay, fine. That's still going. This is still going.
10:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, everything.
10:23 Speaker 02 You've come on Luxury Podcast, we're still going.
10:26 Speaker 03 I think it's fantastic work from the G and D-vas. I, I, I think, keep doing it.
10:31 Speaker 01 They're doing it with Toy Story 5 as well.
10:33 Speaker 03 Well, I mean, isn't that true? I mean, I swear that every Toy Story, they say it's the last Toy Story.
10:38 Speaker 01 Oh, well, this was a good for the last Toy Story. Anyway, go on, dressing up, who else?
10:41 Speaker 02 Abby's ex asked them to dress up as the hairy fairy while he was camp man.
10:46 Speaker 01 I don't know if that's true, but I hope it is.
10:48 Speaker 02 Okay.
10:49 Speaker 01 I hope that's true.
10:49 Speaker 02 And Rach messaged to say, regarding sexy roleplay Darth Vader, I once hired a cosplayer for my eight-year-old's birthday party. And as this guy walked towards the event location, I was so turned on, it was insane. So hot. He was flanked by two stormtroopers as well. I actually dumped the guy I've been seeing for a month as I realised I was more turned on by Darth Vader than him.
11:08 Speaker 01 Brilliant.
11:10 Speaker 02 Well, amazing. Okay.
11:11 Speaker 01 Hope he took you to that Starship Enterprise. Wait, I'm gonna get out of that one. There's a pun in there somewhere. I hope he...
11:19 Speaker 03 He could be your father.
11:20 Speaker 02 Oh.
11:21 Speaker 01 No, babe. I hope he was, I hope he got your lightsaber going.
11:25 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm. Keep going.
11:26 Speaker 01 What's the big circle ship called in Star Wars? What?
11:29 Speaker 03 Death Star.
11:30 Speaker 02 Death Star.
11:31 Speaker 01 I hope he got your...
11:32 Speaker 02 Millennium Falcon.
11:34 Speaker 01 Chocolate star.
11:36 Speaker 02 Have you watched any of the films?
11:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, I love the Star Wars film.
11:39 Speaker 02 Um, now, Jordan, last week you said, in my school, this is a direct quote, you were either a skater or a mosha.
11:45 Speaker 01 Or a townie.
11:47 Speaker 02 Okay, and some G and D was got in touch to tell us who they were at school. Nicola's school social structure sounded very well organised. They had nerds, middles and uppers. Nicola was a middle with friends with both groups. Okay, Kate was a nerd and said, my friends and I were fondly referred to as the nerd herd.
12:08 Speaker 01 Hmm.
12:09 Speaker 02 Okay, Louise was a sporty geek and said the bullies didn't know what to make of me.
12:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was a bit of an in-betweener, to be fair. I wasn't a geek. I was ba- that's why I can so relate to the in-betweens. That was our group of mates, genuine.
12:23 Speaker 02 If we do, I do believe there are plans afoot for us to do this crossover episode with the in-betweens podcast thing. What actually is an in-betweener?
12:31 Speaker 01 Like someone in the middle. It's not quite cool or popular, but not quite, right, geeky.
12:37 Speaker 02 Okay.
12:38 Speaker 01 Were you an in-betweener, Ben? I can imagine being quite popular, actually, especially with the ladies.
12:44 Speaker 02 Um. Um, Andrew was a terrible snob with very few friends. They said, thankfully I grew up.
12:51 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
12:52 Speaker 02 And Lucy was the emo hellraiser in a very strict Catholic school and ended up giving the church's head priest a heart attack after arguing with him about a religious topic. That is going quite some way to get someone and giving them a heart attack.
13:03 Speaker 01 Hmm.
13:04 Speaker 02 Okay, if you, if you were doing school again.
13:07 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
13:08 Speaker 02 Would you do anything differently?
13:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:10 Speaker 02 And that's anything from, I think also we have a responsibility now to talk about academia as the first answer.
13:16 Speaker 01 Hmm.
13:17 Speaker 02 Would you study harder? Or maybe you studied hard.
13:20 Speaker 01 I did alright in the end. I did alright. No.
13:25 Speaker 02 Would you try out an emo phase?
13:29 Speaker 02 I used to have my, before I sort of pushed my hair back, I used to literally have my
13:34 Speaker 01 Fringe.
13:34 Speaker 02 Just it would fringe. I think I have got it for my very first Facebook photograph. I'll see if I can find that.
13:39 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, show us that.
13:40 Speaker 02 I'm in a lovely manly pink polo shirt.
13:43 Speaker 01 I, I wanna see, I think I've seen that. It's funny, I asked my mum recently, cause for Disney, Toy Story five, beep beep beep beep beep. They wanted pictures.
13:50 Speaker 02 You notice how I just allowed you to talk about that without making a bitchy comment?
13:54 Speaker 01 She's a nightmare, Wendy. They wanted pictures of me at school and stuff. She sent me a lot of pictures and I went, oh, actually now they don't want me at school, they want me as a baby. She sent me pictures. I was like, she's going, oh, weren't you gorgeous? I sent them and then she messaged me a week later going, oh, I've just realised, we think they're Dominic.
14:10 Speaker 01 She went, I can't tell. I'm like, well, is that me or not? Or is that our Doms? And obviously there's only a few years between us. She went, I don't know.
14:18 Speaker 02 Did you all look the same?
14:19 Speaker 01 Honestly, she said, that's your grandma. So then my grandma sent me a load of pictures. I'll put one of them up on carousel.
14:24 Speaker 02 And were you cute?
14:26 Speaker 01 Let me have a look. I'll show you. Half of them, half of them. This is the thing as well, I'm bollock naked. Look at them neck curtains. They were spotless, them neck curtains. Look at that. So those, all I'm gonna say is at your peril, if you say anything about them neck curtains.
14:44 Speaker 02 Lovely.
14:45 Speaker 01 At your peril lad.
14:46 Speaker 02 I said lovely. Uh, this is the photo I was thinking of. Oh, oh God.
14:51 Speaker 01 We'll get them up on the carousel.
14:54 Speaker 02 There's my fringe.
14:56 Speaker 01 Hmm. Okay. We've got more of your emails.
15:00 Speaker 02 What does that mean?
15:00 Speaker 01 Messages.
15:03 Speaker 01 And letters after the break.
15:09 Speaker 04 Hello, this is Susie Ruffel.
15:10 Speaker 05 And Maisy Adam.
15:11 Speaker 04 And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mais, what is it?
15:14 Speaker 05 Only the best podcast ever.
15:15 Speaker 04 Yes.
15:16 Speaker 05 A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel.
15:26 Speaker 04 Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too.
15:28 Speaker 05 Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip.
15:32 Speaker 04 You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. You just need to search Big Kick Energy.
15:36 Speaker 05 Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.
15:42 Speaker 01 All right, Gene Davis, thanks sticking with us. Let's now go on to some of your recent responses. Ah, William Hanson.
15:48 Speaker 02 Becky has a Heathrow update. Hi, boys. I have just returned from holiday and have been catching up on episodes whilst on my flight home. I was listening to Jordan's Philosophers and Airport Nightmares just as we were coming into land at Heathrow. I then felt the dread of the airport shuttle bus to the terminal. However, much to my surprise, there was no bus. I walked from the plane onto the bridge and straight into the terminal. In case William was wondering, I flew into Terminal 5 from Madrid. Thanks for always making me laugh on my Tuesday and Friday commute. It's Becky. Yeah, the thing is, Becky, I could fly from Madrid back to London and I would get a shuttle bus. I don't think there is a particular route. I just think it always happens to me that you've got Terminal 5, A gates, then you have a separate building for B gates,
16:32 Speaker 02 you have a separate building for C gates, and then you have what I call D gates, and they're not as exciting as you'd think.
16:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's a D gate.
16:39 Speaker 02 You are basically on a bus, and I always seem to get a D gate. And you have to wait for everyone to get on the bus. Then you're cramped, you're standing up, then it drives you basically to Gatwick and back.
16:49 Speaker 01 First world problems. Poor you, travelling all the time. Some people can't even afford to go away once a year.
16:55 Speaker 02 Yes, I'm just saying, you've got, you've got basically one of the, well, Western Europe's biggest airports, and you're still on a bus. Why can't we just walk directly into the terminal, like every other airport? Why do in Britain we have to just make it a little bit shit?
17:09 Speaker 01 Because that's what makes us great.
17:12 Speaker 02 No, it's what makes us frustrating.
17:14 Speaker 01 We're proud and a bit shit, and that's fine.
17:16 Speaker 02 And also, I go away for work a lot, so that's why I feel like...
17:19 Speaker 01 To be fair, you don't holiday. You should holiday more.
17:21 Speaker 02 All right, I'm off.
17:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, you should, you should.
17:27 Speaker 02 I should. Ask me how many holidays I've got for the rest of the year.
17:29 Speaker 01 How many?
17:30 Speaker 02 Zero.
17:30 Speaker 01 Oh, God. You just got back from Greece.
17:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's my one holiday of the year.
17:35 Speaker 01 What have they got? Paris.
17:37 Speaker 02 Hmm?
17:39 Speaker 01 Paris.
17:41 Speaker 01 That's a weekend trip, does that count?
17:43 Speaker 02 That was work. I was filming the le guide so british de bon manier. Ellie has got in touch to share some advice on a previous dilemma we attempted to help with. Hello lovely boys, I was just listening to your episode, Help, I'm Going to Prison, when you were talking about a girl getting her tampon wedged inside her while having sex. This happened to me too, and I was too embarrassed to mention it to the guy at the time, so when I went to the bathroom, I used my tooth brush handle to fish it out. I absolutely think your advice was bang on, but I thought I'd contribute this advice too in case of emergency. Ellie.
18:14 Speaker 01 Thanks.
18:15 Speaker 02 I have nothing to contribute off the back of that, but thank you for letting us know.
18:18 Speaker 01 Is this a regular thing?
18:20 Speaker 02 What, tampon chat?
18:21 Speaker 01 If I was a girl, I'd definitely be a pad type of gal.
18:25 Speaker 02 A what?
18:25 Speaker 01 A pad.
18:27 Speaker 02 iPad?
18:27 Speaker 01 The pad.
18:28 Speaker 02 Okay.
18:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:29 Speaker 02 Tena lady?
18:30 Speaker 01 No, they're like tena ladies, but yeah, I, you know, I'm like very squeamish. Not with blood or anything, but just things going in.
18:40 Speaker 02 Hasn't stopped me before.
18:43 Speaker 02 And on the subject of toothbrushes, Wilf has been catching up on previous dilemmas and had this to say. Hi William and Jordan, I was recently listening to your episode about sharing toothbrushes. I told my girlfriend, also a G and Dva, about this as she was always using my toothbrush. When I told her about how disgusted you both were about it, she replied, you don't have a problem with anything else of yours that goes in my mouth. At least one is cleaned and washed every day. I can stop putting in both if that helps. Please help me explain how one is different from the other.
19:10 Speaker 01 She's done you there, Wilf.
19:11 Speaker 02 Well, I'm afraid Wilf, I'm on your girlfriend's side.
19:15 Speaker 01 She's done you there.
19:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, and if you're not washing and cleaning anything every day, sort your life out. In fact, I would say toothbrush gets done twice a day.
19:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, but still, that's
19:24 Speaker 02 Minimum.
19:24 Speaker 01 No, I'd you shouldn't chep toothbrush.
19:28 Speaker 02 No, I wouldn't at all, no. Matthew has an etiquette conundrum that Jordan might now be well placed to answer. Hi William, Jordan and crew. Recently I found myself with an etiquette question that, given Jordan's new starring role in Toy Story 5,
19:40 Speaker 01 No, no, no, don't sit there!
19:44 Speaker 02 Oh, is that the line? I haven't seen it yet.
19:45 Speaker 01 I've not seen it yet. That's one of my lines.
19:48 Speaker 02 Oh, go on, give us another one.
19:50 Speaker 01 No, spoiler of that.
19:53 Speaker 01 I'm giving them away.
19:55 Speaker 02 Can I ask, can I ask a question?
19:57 Speaker 01 To do loads of sipping.
19:58 Speaker 02 Oh, really? That's disgusting.
20:00 Speaker 01 Half an hour of making sipping noises.
20:04 Speaker 02 Well, is that how you got the job? Um, no, I can't ask that question. It's mean.
20:10 Speaker 01 No, go on.
20:10 Speaker 02 No, no, and I don't know, because I'm gonna get a chat.
20:12 Speaker 01 Oh, no. And by the way, Pete, William text me, right? William text me saying, I'm sorry. He went, darling, I'm sorry if I wasn't thrilled for your toy story. And I was like, you were.
20:21 Speaker 02 I said, okay, not quite the words I used, but okay.
20:23 Speaker 01 Well, you always say this whenever I quote you.
20:26 Speaker 02 It's because you don't quote me.
20:27 Speaker 01 No, I don't have to quote you word for word. You're so pedantic and annoying sometimes, which, whatever. You always do this whenever.
20:34 Speaker 02 Okay, I'm sorry. Shall I read out the messages?
20:36 Speaker 01 Actually, it wasn't a Tuesday, it was a Wednesday. I didn't quite say it like that. Doesn't matter, right? You sent me a lovely message and I went, no, it's fine. And you went, there's a few comments saying that we were mean to you. You weren't mean. Look, I give it just as good. This is our thing.
20:49 Speaker 02 Yes.
20:49 Speaker 01 We, we, it's our thing.
20:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:51 Speaker 01 And we all take the piss out of each other and you're actually very lovely.
20:54 Speaker 02 Thank you very much. Likewise.
20:57 Speaker 01 When I tell a story and go, actually, I didn't say, when was it? I said, where was it? It doesn't matter. Let it go.
21:04 Speaker 02 Okay.
21:04 Speaker 01 Eight years that's been building up.
21:07 Speaker 02 I'm glad you've got it out now.
21:08 Speaker 01 Love you to bits.
21:09 Speaker 02 Love you too. Matthew has an etiquette conundrum, which we're still on. Jordan's got a role in Toy Story 5, et cetera. My missus and I went to the cinema, ordered some drinks and went into the screen to take our seats. So which cup holder is yours? The left or the right one?
21:23 Speaker 01 Great question.
21:24 Speaker 02 I use the acronym that I was always taught BMW, bread, meal, water or wine from left to right. So I put my drink on my right side as it's easier to act as being right-handed. And for the majority of the population, I just wanted to know if there is a correct side to save the awkwardness of someone accidentally sipping from my drink in the dark or me doing the same. Cheers, daddies.
21:43 Speaker 01 Great question.
21:44 Speaker 02 Okay. Yeah, I would, I, I see your logic there, but some people are left-handed, et cetera. Just talk to the person you're sitting next to and decide which works.
21:53 Speaker 01 Next time a Gene Davis goes to cinema, if you're listening to this going today, just check the last one. I'm sure it'll be on the left, the last cup holder. So if it's, the last one's on the left or on the right, then you'll know it's left or right, won't you?
22:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:05 Speaker 01 That makes sense.
22:05 Speaker 02 But also it's very.
22:06 Speaker 01 That's quite good for me. That's quite clever for me.
22:08 Speaker 02 So clever. Um, it, it's also very rare, I would say, that you're in a cinema, unless you're on like opening day, where every single seat is taken. So potentially it shouldn't be an issue.
22:18 Speaker 01 Let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.
22:25 Speaker 02 The honourable mentions go to Rachel, who, this is after you went on a rampage last week by asking Orlaxa to play a variety of songs designed to wake up all the Geendivas who fall asleep listening to us. Rachel commented, can confirm this episode wreak havoc on my Orlaxa. Jamie enjoyed our brand new feature Sweet Little Lies, but had some critique to our methodology, saying, William's logic for figuring it out if Ben was lying or not is clearly flawed. For Ben has no imagination.
22:51 Speaker 01 I do think, you know.
22:52 Speaker 02 That is harsh.
22:53 Speaker 01 No, you know when, you know when you watch a horror film?
22:56 Speaker 02 You'd have to, to wear those socks.
22:57 Speaker 01 You know, when you watch a horror film and the kids colour in and like the kids are a bit messed up. It's just like black, dark. That what Ben, I reckon, was like at school. It's like really dark drawings that are in black and white and a bit scary.
23:12 Speaker 02 But our comment of the week goes to George, who knows how to appreciate proper humour and commented, I feel William's joke of,
23:19 Speaker 02 what did she?
23:20 Speaker 01 I, I think I missed this one. I'm sorry. A lot of your jokes do go in my head. He's actually laughing at his own joke.
23:27 Speaker 02 Can I say, in Titanic rehearsals, I was saying to Stuart earlier, oh, shut your faces.
23:32 Speaker 01 Here we go.
23:34 Speaker 02 This is one of the things I'm really struggling with. If I do a funny ad lib, I then sort of just, like we do on, on Sexted, sort of, we sort of appreciate it and like, sit in the moment. You can't do that on a Western show.
23:45 Speaker 01 Do you laugh at your own bit?
23:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, all things that the cast do.
23:49 Speaker 01 So what did we miss last week?
23:50 Speaker 02 I said, apparently, what did she knock you over? I think you were talking about an Italian woman who nearly not drove a bike or something. It was not appreciated enough. Another 10 out of 10 joke from you, William.
24:02 Speaker 01 I thought it was a terrible joke. I do remember it from last week.
24:04 Speaker 02 How rude.
24:05 Speaker 01 All right. Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs. Send us an email to [email protected] . We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to. So if that's you, do get back in touch and we'll see you on Tuesday.
24:25 Speaker 02 Goodbye.
24:33 Speaker 00 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit and search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
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