Jordan Gets A Filling | And Our Most Hated Cutlery

After Jordan North’s recent discovery of the Affogato, things take a turn for the extraordinary as he gets his hands on the infamous McAffogato. And if that wasn’t riveting enough, Jordan and William get into the surprisingly heated topic of their MOST HATED cutlery. Plus, there’s a shocking revelation that William Hanson does not own a TIN OPENER. Has he finally taken being posh too far? Want more Sexted in your life? Join Help I Sexted My Boss Out Of Office for exclusive episodes every WEDNESDAY on Patreon! Just head to sextedmyboss.com/patreon Want MORE Help I Sexted My Boss?: https://sextedmyboss.komi.io/ FOLLOW Jordan North Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordannorth1 William Hanson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/williamhansonetiquette TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@williamhansonetiquette If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  William and Jordan will be with you in just a moment, but first, here's one for your queue. Vicky Patterson has taken on a huge charity challenge, getting from Newcastle to London by kayak, bike and on foot. Now she's on her podcast Get a Grip with a proper, honest, blisters and all debrief. If you need a nudge to step outside your comfort zone, then this is the one for you. Once this episode's done, search Get a Grip and get it playing.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 1:01Speaker 00

  It's a fun jacket, isn't it?

• 1:02Speaker 02

  What's wrong with my jacket?

• 1:04Speaker 00

  It's a bit Top Gun.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Guinness?

• 1:08Speaker 00

  Well, yeah. I just think it's, yeah. But Top Gun, it's very maverick. And you are one really, aren't you?

• 1:15Speaker 02

  I am, especially with a stache.

• 1:17Speaker 00

  Yes, well, we'll talk about that in a minute.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  And you're my goose.

• 1:21Speaker 00

  I don't actually know what that means. Is that the one that dies?

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Don't give it away.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Oh, if people haven't watched it by now, then you know.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Talk to me goose, still makes me cry every time. And then in the second one, it's Goose's son and the plane's about to crash and he goes.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  Can we bloody record it, huh? Trying to tell a story. It's just talk to me dad. It makes me cry. Start the bloody episode.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to our Friday episode, where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into a week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful G and D'ivas.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  How are you?

• 2:02Speaker 02

  I'm good, you?

• 2:03Speaker 00

  Yes. What sort of weekend have you got coming up?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  Oh, busy, busy one. Friday, going to my favourite restaurant.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  In London.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  Lovely.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  It's called Dover.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  Oh, right, yes.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  Beautiful. So I'm going there. You'd like it there. And I'll tell you for why. Because you get a martini.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  And he took it off. And it's like, it's like a New York.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  Where they change the glasses halfway through.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  And he goes, can I tell a story about you? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  And he went, no, we like your glasses to be cold here. And then, yeah, they change them halfway through. Lovely. Yes, they do that in a few places, but that's very nice. It's a nice, no, but it's a really, it's a really nice way of elevating because a martini is a slow drink.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  You don't really, I mean, they're meant to be slow, to be fair. I don't, not something I actually practice.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Knock them back.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  I do. They come to change my glass and they go, oh, it's all gone.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  So I'm going there. You should go. You'd really like it there. It's like white tablecloths and stuff like in New York. So I'm going there. I'm going to watch Niall Horan on Saturday.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  Lovely.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  At the O2.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, he's performing. Yeah.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  Not just going to go and sit in his sitting room.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Paddle on Sunday. So a nice weekend for me.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Lovely. Very nice. We're going to need to take the week off.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  What about you?

• 3:15Speaker 00

  What am I doing? Saturday, I've got a dinner I'm going to with some friends. And Sunday, very busy day, Sunday, I've got a lunch with my friend, Jack. Then I'm going to go to my friend Cameron from Titanic's birthday soiree that they're having in between the shows.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Do you ever just stay at home?

• 3:31Speaker 00

  And then I'm out for dinner with some other friends, Elliot and Michael. On Sunday, where they're going to tell us the gender of their upcoming baby. It's a gender reveal, but over dinner. We're not doing balloons with confetti and anything like that, or cutting into a cake or blah. They're just telling us.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Two people I've seen this week, who told me they've had dinner with you.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  Who?

• 3:51Speaker 02

  One was yesterday in the gym. James.

• 3:53Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  So James in the gym yesterday said you went round for dinner because they've just moved near you.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  They have.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  It was very funny, actually. He said, yeah, we were really worried because it's like quite old and boring and not really any gays. He said, which suits William really well.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Doesn't.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  And then Tom as well. You went for dinner with Tom. Two Toms.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, the Toms. Yes, the gas gays.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  The gas.

• 4:18Speaker 00

  Those that went and helped get your.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  I owe you for that gas.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  You do.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  How much is it?

• 4:23Speaker 00

  Hundred and thirty five.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Can you tell it's going up, I'm sure. Hundred and thirty five, yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  Thank you. Shall I send you my details again?

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  You probably, you should have them stored.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Just text it me. I keep saying you text it me.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  Fine.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Not here now because we're working, but just text me saying, hey darling, do one of your passive aggressive texts you've not done in a while.

• 4:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Say, hey, how are you? In case you haven't got them. Here's my bank details.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  Again, yeah. Maybe I should phone your mum and get your mum to remind you.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  She's worse than me for remembering stuff. Yeah. Where do you think I get it from?

• 4:55Speaker 00

  Well, yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  She's a woman that's lost more on bags and purses than.

• 5:00Speaker 00

  You've had men. What, I mean, right, I'm just going to leave that.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Not that many then.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  No, not exactly. Thank you very much. Basically, I was basically a nun in a former life. Anyway, recently I expressed my distaste for lobster skewers, lobster picks, when you had asked me what my least favourite piece of cutlery was. We asked our G and D'ivas to share their most hated utensil. This is fantastic. It's literally the best thing I think we've ever done on this podcast. I love, this is what I live for. That sounds sarcastic. It's not.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  Alma says, I'm Swedish and hate the cheese slicer. It's so ugly. Name me a more Swedish response.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  The cheese slicer in my house, though, I feel sorry for the cheese slicer because it, I don't, it doesn't have a place. It can be any cupboard in the house.

• 5:43Speaker 00

  Now, hang on, when you say a cheese slicer.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Oh, the grater.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, that's not a slicer. The cheese slicer is like, almost like a, like a tool that you would use to slice off a piece of Swiss cheese.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Very Swedish.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  If you're doing raclash or something like that.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  But the cheese grater, I feel sorry for. And you can never fucking find it when you need it. It doesn't have a place in my house. It's always in one drawer or the other or cupboard.

• 6:06Speaker 00

  The cheese grater. And have you got a collapsible one? Or are you a solid one?

• 6:10Speaker 02

  You can get collapsible cheese grates.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  But I don't think they're very good because they collapse on you when you're grating and then you've taken half your hand off.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  I'm very, very scared of cheese grating cheese, but it's got to be done.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  No, I have a solid metal one that goes in the dishwasher.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Dairy leaves are much safer cheese.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  You don't need to grate that, do you?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  It's a royal family quote.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  Okay. Timothy doesn't like his garlic crusher. They're a nightmare to clean.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Again, I don't have one.

• 6:32Speaker 00

  You don't have a garlic crusher?

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Just do it on the knife.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that, but how about if you're mincing the garlic? If you need to do minced garlic?

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Just crush it. Oh, I have that lazy garlic.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  Of course you do.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Hi guys.

• 6:44Speaker 00

  Hello, Ben.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  I think that's a great shout from Jordan. You just need to smash the garlic. It's a, it's a lot, it's a game changer.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  Just do it. Use a mug. You can use a mug, you know. Smash it with your mutton.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  Don't have those. Well, we do for trade, but not, not for anyone else. Dave doesn't like his potato masher.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Oh, tradesman.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  That always gets caught in the drawer.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  The masher's, the masher's an awkward bugger. I could talk about this all day.

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Louise, and she's put an expletive here, a fucking can opener. It's hell for lefters and never works. No, see, not a problem for us. We don't have cans or tins.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  But surely you've got a can opener?

• 7:21Speaker 00

  I don't know the last time I opened a can.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  You don't open a can of.

• 7:25Speaker 00

  Can of what?

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Rice pudding. Beans.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  I'd make it. Nope, don't do beans.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  You don't do beans?

• 7:30Speaker 00

  I like beans when I go out for breakfast.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Tomatoes, tinned tomatoes.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  Oh, ours are on a pull.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  Coconut milk.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Oh, you can spot the person who lives in East London.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, when we're doing our like. Peaches.

• 7:43Speaker 00

  Thai, Thai red chicken curry, we get the coconut milk out.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Peaches.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  Tinned from a tin.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  On your shoes. Pledge. No, peaches.

• 7:57Speaker 00

  Do I look like I'm a tinned peachy person?

• 7:59Speaker 02

  I, I, I, I prefer tinned peaches to normal peaches.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  You haven't tried my peaches.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Oh, just wait till you try my peach. Trust me. When you come around to mine next, you can get right in on my peach. It's the best. I'll put a bit of cream on it as well.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  I think I'll find I'll be doing that.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. Honestly, tinned peaches are the best.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  What about sweet corn? What?

• 8:20Speaker 02

  I'm not a big sweet corn fan.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Green giant, I do.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  I hate tinned sweet corn.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  I hate sweet corn in general.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  I just had sweet corn downstairs.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  I don't like, I'm not, it's not like onions.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  Frozen sweet corn. Have you tried frozen sweet corn?

• 8:31Speaker 02

  I don't mind corn on cob.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  Yes, but I don't like.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  You say I don't like corn on cob?

• 8:35Speaker 02

  I don't like sweet corn. That's a utensil.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  Holly, wooden cutlery makes everything taste funky. Well, yes, I mean, it's, it's very.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Plastic cutlery shite.

• 8:45Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Fine if, in Pret a Manger, all those sort of cafes. No, if you're like having the odd thing.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I got the chicken the other day. I was like carving it off.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  But if you're eating a proper meal, it needs to be metal cutlery. Andrew doesn't like his cheese grater. Going back to cheese graters.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  They're a bit like, how can I put this? They're a bit like Ben cheese graters. They don't quite know where they belong or what, who's their friends and stuff like that. They've just, I feel a bit sorry for them.

• 9:11Speaker 00

  For cheese grates?

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  That's why you keep on going back to it.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  And then like they, they, they try and get like new aircuts to be cool and fit in and stuff, do you know what? And then they come in flat form.

• 9:20Speaker 00

  Can you imagine people that do that?

• 9:21Speaker 02

  They're just, it's just, I do feel they don't know the place yet, cheese grates.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Fine.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  When is the cheese grater had a haircut?

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Well, I'm just saying they come in different forms sometimes. You're still like, you're a cheese grater, get over yourself.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? Like you can get the flat ones, you get the ones now that cheese grater, it's straight into top where just.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 9:43Speaker 00

  Well, where do you, where do you stand on this? Gem doesn't like melon ballers.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  What the hell's a melon baller when they're on?

• 9:50Speaker 00

  It's for making balls of melon.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  You need an ice cream scoop.

• 9:53Speaker 00

  Well, it's, yeah, but it's smaller.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  A melon baller?

• 9:57Speaker 00

  No one's made balls of melon since about 1978.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Can I just say, out of all of the utensils, a melon baller sounds like an absolute top shagger.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  He's the one all the utensils are shagging. He's an absolute melon baller. Do you have one?

• 10:13Speaker 00

  No, I don't actually, not yet.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  You're gonna get one now, aren't you? Guess what we're having for dessert? We're gonna go round for dinner.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  No, it'll be, first of course, melon and Palmerham.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yes. A melon baller.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Melon balls.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Again, tinned melon, just as good.

• 10:27Speaker 00

  No.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  I've never had tinned melon.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  You have got the culinary palette of a seven-year-old.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  I've got a culinary palette of a seven-year-old who grew up on an estate.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  I have, like I said to-

• 10:38Speaker 00

  But you can develop.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  No, every now and then I need the food, I say this-

• 10:42Speaker 00

  Oh no, there's nothing wrong with comfort food.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Need the food that I grew up, that's what it is. I've gotta have my soup noodles in, I've gotta have my dairies, I've gotta have my froobes. Like, you know, I've gotta have my shit in. And I get panicky if they don't. My rocky bars, you know, that type of thing.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  Rocky bars?

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've gotta have my dairily-

• 11:00Speaker 00

  What's a rocky bar?

• 11:01Speaker 02

  A rock- you've never had a rocky bar?

• 11:04Speaker 00

  Oh yes, Jack types that down for next week.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Right, we'll have a rocky-

• 11:07Speaker 00

  Maybe I should-

• 11:07Speaker 02

  You've never had a rocky bar?

• 11:08Speaker 00

  Maybe I should sit here and go, "I've never been in a Ferrari." "I've, I've never flown-"

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Can't believe-

• 11:15Speaker 00

  "-private jet." And you'll just sort of write it down, it'll happen, we'll do it for bonus next week.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Fifteen years we've been doing this podcast and you still-

• 11:22Speaker 00

  We have not been doing it fifteen years.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  Never ceases to amaze me, a rocky bar. Have you had a wagon wheel?

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Did not know what you were gonna say then.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  I thought you were gonna say something else.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  What, what was I gonna say?

• 11:33Speaker 00

  I thought you were gonna say something else, beginning with WA.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  A wank?

• 11:37Speaker 00

  A wasp.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Are we, right, wagon wheel, gold bar?

• 11:41Speaker 00

  Gold bar?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Viscount Penguin, have you ever had a Penguin?

• 11:44Speaker 00

  I have had a Penguin.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Help me out here. What about all those foxes ones, those posh ones?

• 11:48Speaker 00

  Don't you get most of your jokes from the back of the Penguin's?

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Blue ribbon, have you ever had a blue ribbon? They're not called blue ribbons.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  No?

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Oh no, there's not a ribbon round them, it's like a Mandela effect or something. Anyway, utensils.

• 11:59Speaker 00

  Um, Char doesn't like her egg wash brush, an arse to clean. Well, you give us an arse. And we'll clean it.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  I've only just recently ordered one.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  An egg wash brush, I didn't know they were called that. I've only ordered an arse to clean.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  With an egg wash-

• 12:17Speaker 00

  On the basis that you're, you're putting your phone in the, in the gusset of your pants, I think your arse really does need to be cleaned.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Honestly, that, yeah.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  Um, talking of your egg wash brush that you've just ordered.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  I've got two.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Have you gone silicon or bristles?

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Both.

• 12:32Speaker 00

  You've gone for both? You've ordered two egg wash, who needs two egg wash? How mu- how many scones are you brushing the top of?

• 12:38Speaker 02

  I've had a good month, so I thought I'll treat myself to two. They're about a quid, one ninety-nine each.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're not expensive, but I'm-

• 12:44Speaker 02

  I've ordered them and not used them.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  I go silicon because they're easier to clean.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  Oh, are they?

• 12:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, personally.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:48Speaker 00

  Just straight in the dishwasher.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  What did I order them for? What was I washing?

• 12:51Speaker 00

  Um, tops of pies.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  I can't remember, but I had to use my fingers and thought, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna get an egg wash brush."

• 12:59Speaker 03

  Washing your arse.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  Um, Molly-

• 13:03Speaker 02

  What did you wash your arse with, silicon or bristles?

• 13:07Speaker 00

  Kyle says honing rod hurts during anal. What's a honing rod?

• 13:13Speaker 02

  What's anal?

• 13:15Speaker 02

  What's a honing rod?

• 13:18Speaker 00

  Can we on Patreon, can I show him anal? Is that an idea?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  That's our bonus for next week.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  You can take my bonus. What, what is a honing rod? Oh, a sharpening knife, Ben, this is your area of expertise.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  They're always good, I think.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Although they're not very good for your knife.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  Are they not?

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Yep, through my research.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  You've been on your knife sharpening course.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  I would be careful. Obviously it does do a job, but it can damage your knife as well, is what I've heard.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  Um, Molly on Patreon says soup spoons, the shape makes her uncomfortable. Lorcan says the knives you get on planes, yes, generally airport cutlery is, or airport or airline cutlery is pretty grim.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Not being funny though.

• 13:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  But I want my cutlery on planes to be shit and blunt.

• 13:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, because-

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Because, you know.

• 13:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yes.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  But why in airports are the, like, the knives and forks, like, really small? They're like smaller than airports.

• 14:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're also small.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Which is weird.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  Maybe, maybe some of our, um, aviation listeners will know the answer to that as well. Uh, and of course, many people, of course, said what was their least favourite kitchen utensil? Think about it.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  Wendy?

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Potato peeler.

• 14:19Speaker 00

  Indeed, yes.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Uh, excuse me, no, potato peelers are great.

• 14:23Speaker 00

  I think they're just saying that for fun.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  Um, there was also a great debate around spoon sizes. Half of our listeners love a big spoon.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  No, I don't.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  Whereas the other half love a little spoon.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  I've got a, my big spoons are quite little, so I've got a little big spoon. Does that make sense?

• 14:36Speaker 00

  Course yours would be different.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, the little spoon gets in all the Nixon crannies, whereas the big spoon can do more, apparently. So there we go.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Do you have cereal with a big spoon or a little spoon?

• 14:46Speaker 00

  I don't have cereal. But I would have a dessert spoon. I would have a yogurt with a, with a, with a dessert spoon.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  You wouldn't have it with a teaspoon?

• 14:54Speaker 00

  No.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  Lasts longer.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Well, well, you're like Alan Sugar with his tiny fork diet. Can you remember when he did that? And he came, but that said that's how he'd lost all the weight, is that he would have a little tiny fork and he'd eat everything much slower, and that's how he lost weight. Look it up, Alan, Alan Sugar.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  No, no, no, I do remember that.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  Tiny fork diet. Um, oh god. In fact, actually before we do this, let's, I just wanna do something else that isn't on the script. Um, I asked Ben downstairs what he thinks, now it's about a month in, of his new haircut.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  Which we discussed previously on our episodes. Uh, Danny Coburn, one of our dancers, uh, from the tour, inspired. Ben, how are you finding your hair? Test, just do a little recap.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  It's a bit Justin Bieber today, if you ask me.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I'm finding it good.

• 15:38Speaker 00

  You liking it?

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I am liking it, thanks.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, and of course it went out there in the-

• 15:41Speaker 03

  I've got a fringe now.

• 15:43Speaker 00

  You have got a fringe. It went out into the public domain that you were inspired by Danny, my body double, one of our dancers-

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  -from the tour. On a scale of one to ten, how annoyed would you be if I had sent a photograph to Danny Coburn for his reaction?

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Uh, nine out of ten?

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Well, we'll play it. Oh, what? Benny's Danny from the tour, you're white girl, he's six, I'm from his six, it's Danny, oh fuck, fuck. He's gonna kill me when I see him.

• 16:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, he is.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Go and play it. Oh, that is the cutest thing ever. So you can probably hear the waves, because I'm in stage shows because I'm that bitch. Oh, but that is so fucking cute. Guys, I love you, I miss you so much.

• 16:36Speaker 00

  Oh, there we go. He then, he did then follow up with, "He needs some wax in that bitch, though."

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm fuming.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  What did you say to him?

• 16:47Speaker 00

  What did I say to him?

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, what was your text?

• 16:49Speaker 00

  I said-

• 16:50Speaker 03

  You little ratbag, it's the last time I trust you.

• 16:52Speaker 00

  And then you can shove it, oh no.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Be nice.

• 16:54Speaker 00

  I said, "Hello," um, me again, because I'd be messaging about something else, "I need a favour from," well, I had been, don't laugh.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 17:04Speaker 00

  No, we both work for the same, uh, theatre producers. Um, "I need a favour from you if you are-" DM, I don't DM people, I mean, this is on text. Um, producer Ben has copied your haircut.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  "He went to his barber and showed your hair and asked for inspiration. Cute, you're a style inspiration. Can you please send me a voice note or video at some point by Thursday reacting it so we can use it on Sextid? Uh, but no issue if you don't fancy it."

• 17:29Speaker 03

  And he did fancy it.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  And he did fancy it, and the haircut.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  So, well, I remember being stood downstairs and I said, "Don't tell Danny."

• 17:38Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 17:38Speaker 03

  The dancer from the tour, and you said, "Don't worry."

• 17:40Speaker 00

  No, yes, and I was honouring that, and then last week, on the podcast, where you then talked about it, I thought, well, it's fair game, you said it. So I did.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  You coerced me into saying it.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  Coerced? Well, Ben, I think you should, it's gone down well. It looks good on you, it looks good on Danny, take the win.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  All right, we'll go to a break and we've got more of your emails, messages and letters after this.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 18:36Speaker 00

  Welcome back, G and D-ers. Let's go to the responses. Dr Carey gives his professional verdict on whether dentists can tell if their patients have been giving head. Hello, William Jordan, EPP, Gen Z Lizzie, question mark, question mark, question mark, Izzy, Diego et al. Greetings from Los Angeles and thank you for all the laughs and keeping me company during my long drive in LA traffic. I'm a dentist in Southern California and thought I could add a little clarity to your dis-

• 18:59Speaker 02

  They're busy. They love the teeth, aren't they?

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Yes, they do. Uh, add a little clarity to your discussion regarding the oral presentation of the consequences of fellatio. The medical diagnosis is referred to as palatial, oh god, pet-

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Go on, use your words.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  Pal- palatal, petechiae.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  P E T E C H I A E.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  Which is a submucosal hemorrhage or bruising of the palate from trauma. While not overly common clinically, when we do see it, it's a safe space and your secret is safe with us. Thank you again for bringing the laughter to my work week, Dr Carey.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Told you. They know when you've had a, I was saying, Izzy.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  Um, I don't think you were for last week's recording.

• 19:46Speaker 00

  No, she was, she was inconcl-.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Saying if you've, um, surprised you've let her out. Um, saying if you've, dentists can tell if you've recently given head, apparently. If it's been, if it's been enthusiastically.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, they can see a bit of damage at the back of the throat. One of them told me at once.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Just open your mouth.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  One of them told me, I was like, "Oh, you must be looking at my teeth."

• 20:15Speaker 00

  Anonymous has an update for us after finding his dad's X-rated Twitter account. Oh, I remember this.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 00

  Hello, Jordan, William and the team. A few weeks ago, I wrote in to ask, "What do you do if I found my dad's secret Twitter account? I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him about it in the car a few weeks ago. I told him I found his account and at first he'd played dumb. I told him no one should see what I saw. He finally admitted to having the other account and when I asked who the woman was, he said it was one of his lady friends. I should have left it there, but I quizzed him and apparently he has quite a few lady friends."

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Is he single?

• 20:46Speaker 00

  Well, I assume so. "I can't believe my seventy-plus-year-old dad has a better sex life than me. I asked about my step-mum and see, oh, and he said she knew and didn't mind. Anyway, he said he wouldn't delete the account but would make it private. It's taken me a while to process all of this and I needed to confide in someone. Well, thank you for confiding in us."

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Well, thank you for, that's what we're here for. We are your two mates that you listen to every week, I hope, and yeah, it's fine. People over seventy have sex.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  They do.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  There's hope for us.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  There's hope for you, Stu.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  He's got-

• 21:20Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  That was good.

• 21:27Speaker 00

  David has some intel from our enemies across the room about affogato.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Affogato, yes.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  Jordan, your studio cohabitee, John Robbins. What does he do?

• 21:39Speaker 02

  He does that podcast. Literally, you can see the studio from here.

• 21:42Speaker 00

  Oh, it's within spitting distance.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like, we're, if we're, we're, we're kind of like Lorraine and this morning, we're, we're in the same studio, we just move sets, don't we?

• 21:51Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your studio cohabitee, John Robbins', junior partner in the Ellison John Show, once shared on air that he invented the muck affogato. It's where you pour an espresso over a McFlurry and hey presto, a muck affogato.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 22:06Speaker 00

  This will surely help your campaign to bring sophisticated Italian desserts to the masses. Enjoy, David.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Mcaffogato?

• 22:14Speaker 00

  Mc, muck affogato. Well, I believe we might be trying it now.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Get away. Oh, go on. Oh, yes.

• 22:21Speaker 00

  Sorry, what is that?

• 22:22Speaker 02

  St McFlurry, Candy Crush one. When did you buy this last week?

• 22:26Speaker 00

  I thought it was just ice cream.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  Right, so you just pour it over?

• 22:29Speaker 00

  Is that hot?

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  Oh, that's going to... Right, Jordan's trying it now. A Candy Crush McFlurry.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  I've just had a fill in yesterday.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Where?

• 22:43Speaker 02

  At the dentist.

• 22:44Speaker 00

  At the dentist, of course, at the dentist, yeah.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Same fucking jokes, eight years, and he still made me laugh.

• 22:57Speaker 00

  Not the only hot white liquid you've had at the back of your mouth this week.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  Can I have some, please?

• 23:02Speaker 02

  That is fantastic. Honestly, that's amazing.

• 23:05Speaker 00

  Don't credit John Robbins with anything.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  We're sharing the same spoon. That's that.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  Oh, it's not for me.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  That's for me. Right, that's gonna be my new thing. It's affogato, nobody's heard of it.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  It's not Afrogato, it's affogato. Nobody's heard of it.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Is he chucking away from me? I've got to be good.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  Do you think if you ever go on holiday, if you ever break the mould and don't go to Spain, you go to Italy on holiday, you're gonna be walking around going, I started this.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  I will. Everyone's still Italian.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  You're gonna go up to some nonna in a cafe and go, this was me.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  I'll be like, aye. Credit due, credit due, love, you come up with it, but I'm, I made it big in the UK, because I talked about it on Capital Breakfast and helped us sext with my boss.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  Just like picky teas.

• 23:52Speaker 00

  And happy places.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Which, by the way, I was, uh, I was on Countdown about.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  They talked about, you know Susie Depp from Countdown?

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Know her well.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  She credited me with...

• 24:03Speaker 00

  Did she?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  Not coming up with the term picky teas, but making it popular.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  Ah, well, there we go.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  On the show or on Countdown?

• 24:10Speaker 02

  On Countdown.

• 24:11Speaker 00

  Finally, Jordan, it would seem Georgia has clocked us out in Naples. Oh, home of the affogato. Hello, William, Jordan and the team.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  I have been to Naples.

• 24:21Speaker 00

  You'd love it, though, having affogatos left, right and centre now. I spotted this sign in an Aperol Spritz bar during a recent trip to Naples, and it reminded me of you both, long lost brothers, maybe? With love and grasse milée for the endless laughs, Georgia in Sheffield. I mean, that does look a little bit like us.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, that is scary.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Bire del Centro is a picture.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Joe, get up on the carousel, please.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  Yes, I don't know who, who's that, that is more of a drive-by on, you or me? There we go.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  I think it looks, that looks like you. That's a double of you. That's freaky.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  Doesn't look like me recently.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  It looks like a Russian version of you.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Yes, it does. And we're there with our steins.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Uh, let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.

• 25:14Speaker 00

  The honourable mentions, Restomania on Spotify said, babes, I hate to say it, but the mini crossword should be under a minute.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  I've not even done it since.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  I've noticed, yeah. Matt on YouTube said, Ben looks like he could be a character in a Roald Dahl book. Presumably the twits.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  Fantastic Mr Fox.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  James and the Giant Peach, he could be the peach.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  The peach? Have you seen, have you turned around?

• 25:36Speaker 02

  The worm, yeah.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  There are worms in the giant peach?

• 25:39Speaker 02

  I used to love that film as a kid.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  With the massive, the rhino cloud, that was terrifying.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Those Roald Dahl's films, eh? Oh, he's made himself, that's funny.

• 25:47Speaker 00

  Jack, Jack and I just shared it. We both thought of the same joke at the same time.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  What's the joke, then?

• 25:51Speaker 00

  Listen back to the episode, you're gonna... No, I can't remember what you said.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  Am I the one?

• 25:57Speaker 00

  Is there a worm in the giant peach?

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Well, if it made you laugh, love.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  Jack and I found it very funny.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  We're having a great time.

• 26:06Speaker 00

  But our comment of the week goes to Fuddy on YouTube. Is that their birth name?

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Fuddy.

• 26:12Speaker 00

  Fuddy, P-H-U-T-T-Y.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Fuddy, too.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  Bless Jordan, so many of the conversations he starts play out exactly like the ones between little kids and adults.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Excuse me?

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Take it up with Fuddy.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Fuddy? You can fut up.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Fuddy? That's, I'm 36, that can hold me on in a conversation.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  With seven year olds.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  I think you're, you're the adult and William's the little boy.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  Make a change.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs, or you can send us an email to [email protected].

• 26:48Speaker 00

  And if two episodes a week of Sex It Isn't Enough for you, and it's not enough for me, let me tell you, then why not check out our Patreon channel, Help I Sexed My Boss Out of Office?

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Ooh, has that got annoying yet?

• 26:59Speaker 00

  Not yet. For ad free, I give it two weeks. For ad free listening and an extra brand new episode every Wednesday.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, we do a little bonus episode on there on Patreon. We also love hearing back from people we offer advice to, so if that's you, get back in touch. I'll speak to you on Tuesday.

• 27:12Speaker 00

  Goodbye.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Bye bye.