Ben Schwartz, Vol. III

Prepare for a wild ride through the brain of Ben Schwartz, one of the smartest and funniest guests on this podcast always. This time Ben is talking his new SONIC THE HEDGEHOG film but so much more including run-ins with Tom Cruise, Steven Spielberg, and Keanu Reeves. SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Uncommon Goods – Visit UncommonGoods.com/podcast/HappySad for 15% off BetterHelp -- Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BetterHelp.com/HSC ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠for 10% off Check out the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Happy Sad Confused patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We've got discount codes to live events, merch, early access, exclusive episodes, video versions of the podcast, and more! To watch episodes of Happy Sad Confused, subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Josh's youtube channel here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Josh Horowitz?

  What's your favorite third movie?

• 0:00Speaker 01

  Do you miss MTV?

• 0:02Josh Horowitz?

  I'm still employed by MTV.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Do you miss Comedy Central?

• 0:09Josh Horowitz?

  Literally did a shoot for MTV yesterday. But, what's wrong with your eyes?

• 0:13Speaker 02

  Prepare your ears, humans. Happy, Sad, Confused begins now.

• 0:20Josh Horowitz?

  I'm Josh Horowitz, and today on Happy, Sad, Confused, Ben Schwartz is back. He's a Jedi master of improv. He's one of the funniest human beings I know. He loves to wave and move around weirdly. And he is the titular...

• 0:34Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 0:35Josh Horowitz?

  Titular character in the mega-franchise that is Sonic...

• 0:39Speaker 01

  The Hedgehog.

• 0:41Josh Horowitz?

  Please, let me have my moment.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  You got it, of course. Finish strong.

• 0:43Josh Horowitz?

  And he stars in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, which is fantastic. He's back on the podcast where he belongs. Ben Schwartz, everybody!

• 0:48Speaker 01

  How are you, podcast? But a lot of video references. Let me just say, to begin...

• 0:52Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  And I've seen you just get absolutely furious online.

• 0:56Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  People are stealing your headlines. They're taking things from Happy, Sad, Confused. And they're releasing them. And then all I see, because I follow Josh, is him calling every podcast out for stealing his things. It'll be like, "Paul Mescal really doesn't love Burger King." And he's like, and then he'll like, tag it and be like, "Thanks so much, Variety." So I can't wait for us to blow something out of the water. Someone steal it. And then I hope that you get to be like, "Hey, I was the one who did it."

• 1:23Josh Horowitz?

  No, you're reading it the wrong way. I'm appreciative of all the trades. I'm keeping them in business. I just want to acknowledge...

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:29Josh Horowitz?

  What's happening here? Yeah, we're gonna break a lot of news today.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  I can't wait.

• 1:33Josh Horowitz?

  How do you feel, first of all? You are the titular character.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  A lot of people are calling me the titular character.

• 1:36Josh Horowitz?

  Do you enjoy that word, titular? Like, what's...

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Love the word. I haven't heard it enough.

• 1:40Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  I feel like that's not vernacular enough. We should be saying titular all the time.

• 1:44Josh Horowitz?

  You have just come off of a live appearance on a CBS Morning Show.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Just moments ago. And then changed outfits for this.

• 1:52Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  For you.

• 1:53Josh Horowitz?

  And you were wearing, what, a Speedo and nothing else on that?

• 1:55Speaker 01

  I was wearing that Borat swimsuit on CBS Morning, talking about Sonic 3. And Gail is like, "You sure you don't want to get changed?" And I was like, "Baby, I am changed."

• 2:03Josh Horowitz?

  Which of the Sonic movies is Gail's favorite? Did she rank them?

• 2:07Speaker 01

  She, by the way, she came in beforehand. I've done Anthony Mason's sit-down interview with person, of course, you're trying to be the next Anthony Mason. I love it. I love Anthony Mason.

• 2:16Josh Horowitz?

  He's great, yeah. I'm a big fan.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  Love Anthony Mason.

• 2:19Josh Horowitz?

  That's the weirdest, obsessive Anthony Mason call-out I've ever heard.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  I just think he's great.

• 2:25Josh Horowitz?

  I want you to do the same thing on Drew Barrymore about me. It's like a chain.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  I just came from Josh Horowitz. I love Josh Horowitz. Right, today, you're at the second-to-last day of maybe a three-month press tour. And we're in New York, and we haven't slept in weeks, and it's this great feeling of like, energy, and the movie's coming out in two days. So it's like, or this is probably coming out in six months, but it's like...

• 2:46Josh Horowitz?

  This is for the DVD.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  This is for the DVD release, this is for the Criterion, Clariterian Closet release. But so it's like, I'm very excited, because you know, you and I are actually friends. And we talk about movies on text message whenever we can. So whenever we can do this, I'm always excited.

• 3:00Josh Horowitz?

  The movie's excellent, I'll say that for the record, because off-camera, it's meaningless.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  I know sometimes when the movies you don't like, and you never tell people you don't like them, so I can't trust you.

• 3:10Josh Horowitz?

  Well, no.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Because I know you'll sell somebody, "Oh my god, I loved E.T." He canonically hates E.T. I love E.T. Spielberg, by the way, Spielberg, love to do a movie with you.

• 3:21Josh Horowitz?

  We never ran that podcast, because it got awkward.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. How is there a movie called The Fableman's and I'm not cast in it? How is there a movie with all Jewish people and I don't get the nod for that one?

• 3:31Josh Horowitz?

  Did you get an audition?

• 3:33Speaker 01

  No!

• 3:34Josh Horowitz?

  Have you ever auditioned for a Steven Spielberg movie?

• 3:36Speaker 01

  No, I would love to. The only Steven Spielberg run-in I've had, maybe I shouldn't say this, I think it's great.

• 3:40Josh Horowitz?

  I think you should.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Because I love his daughter, who by the way is hilarious and a great singer, Sasha, but... I was at JJ's office in Bad Robot, and I was writing a screenplay for Universal, did I tell you, right? And JJ's very kind and sometimes let me use offices, but all of them were filled. So I took an assistant's desk, because they weren't there, and I was writing on an assistant's desk. And Spielberg had a meeting with JJ, and he came out, and JJ, because he's the best guy in the world, says, "Steven, have you ever met Ben?" And I say, "Oh my god, so I just met you," but he thought... I've been assistants to 100 things, I've been interns to everything. But he thought I was an assistant there and he's like, there are all these heads behind me. Like, you know, like the heads that sometimes, you know, when movies or TV they blow up. And Steven goes, "What's it like to have all those heads there?" First time I've ever sat at the desk and I had to make a decision.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Whether to commit that I stay at this desk every day.

• 4:27Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Or I say, "Oh no, actually I'm writing a movie for the studio that you have a first look deal with."

• 4:31Josh Horowitz?

  I hope you did the latter, come on.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  I 100% committed that I was there as an assistant, because the assistants at Bad Robber are the best.

• 4:36Josh Horowitz?

  Well, I'm sure, but...

• 4:38Speaker 01

  And I said, "They're staring at me all day." Got a little chuckle out of Steven and he left. And then I was like, "Oh, that's it."

• 4:44Josh Horowitz?

  That's it. You need to know when to get out of these conversations.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Only topped by, the time I met Stevie Wonder and Don Cheadle, there's so many name drops. Don Cheadle introduced me to Stevie Wonder, he canonically cannot see. And so he can't see me and Don goes, "This is Ben." Stevie thought he said, "This is Matt." And he goes, "Matt, so great to meet you." And I've never committed so hard to being Matt in my entire... "Oh my god, Stevie, thank you so much."

• 5:05Josh Horowitz?

  That you recall me Matt, my given birth name.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, Matthew and I just made up a full name, I just committed. But I am, he's my idol of all idols. Both are idols.

• 5:16Josh Horowitz?

  Talk to me a little bit about, okay, so I was trying to say you had just come from a live appearance. This is not live, I know you think it's live, it's not, we're not being broadcast live. Do you get nervous about any situation? Because I've seen you on grand, big stages.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  You've come to a lot of shows.

• 5:28Josh Horowitz?

  I love the shows.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Can we plug the show, Ben Schwartz and Friends? Give it a review. Ben Schwartz and Friends is an improv show and what happens?

• 5:34Josh Horowitz?

  It's the next level of improv, it's the ultimate. There is no script, there are prompts. And it's just magic every night in a different way.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  We just interview someone at the beginning and we do improv for an hour and a half off of one interview. And the whole thing is long form.

• 5:48Josh Horowitz?

  The last time I saw it, you did two, are you still doing the two thing?

• 5:51Speaker 01

  We're gonna try doing the two now. You saw The Beacon.

• 5:52Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:53Josh Horowitz?

  It's the best. So my question is, do you ever get nervous? Obviously not for that, because you know how to do that. But like, is there, is there a circumstance that makes you nervous?

• 6:01Speaker 01

  You know what, I think like, the first time I do something, like, probably at the beginning. Okay, when I'm on stage, when I did Radio City Music Hall or something, that was a very big venue. When I go on stage, I'm very nervous for that. Because of 6,000 people.

• 6:13Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  I don't know if improv will work in that venue. It's the biggest venue I've ever played, I'm from New York, and I was... nervous until I got my first laugh. And the second I get my first laugh, I'm fine.

• 6:22Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  For the CBS thing, we've been doing so much press that your brain can't even.

• 6:27Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Function, like, I don't understand how, oh, my God, if I curse right now, or like, if I say something crazy, like, it's live. And then they'll be like, why'd you, why'd you say something weird?

• 6:35Josh Horowitz?

  Which you've been doing a lot on the Sonic tour, which is weird. It's been dropping a lot of bombs.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  A lot of politics, a lot of cursing on the Sonic tour. My goal for the Sonic tour was to try to do press with Keanu. And I have kept, I have like, I've had the most fun doing press with Keanu because he is so funny. You just have to, you just, he, I'm obsessed with Keanu Reeves.

• 6:54Josh Horowitz?

  Okay, let's talk about Mr. Keanu Reeves.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Tell me when we do this, we're getting serious.

• 6:58Josh Horowitz?

  Okay, Keanu.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:59Josh Horowitz?

  Um, I watched a red carpet interview in which you, um, video bombed Keanu Reeves, which is a thing of beauty. Look it up on the interwebs. The man is deep. He's thinking, he's, he's going hard on, on what it means to cinema, to be a part of this family. And you, the clown that you are.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  I need you to know, I can't hear what he's saying. I'm just passing by, so I don't know what he's saying. And then I looked at his face when I like, saw him and I was like, oh, he was going for it. But then he like, saw me and we were like goofy town boys.

• 7:30Josh Horowitz?

  Goofy town boys.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  We're the goofy town boys.

• 7:32Josh Horowitz?

  You are the goofy town boys, that's your new boy band.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:34Josh Horowitz?

  Um, so.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  He's a musician, he tours all over the place.

• 7:36Josh Horowitz?

  Dogstar, you would be a great addition to Dogstar.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  I think he almost, I think he opened for Weezer when they first started.

• 7:41Josh Horowitz?

  Wow. Okay, so how much quality time? I know the nature of these things, you don't, the, the most you see of them, honestly, is on the press tour.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Yes, the only time I see Jim and the only time I see Keanu Reeves. But although Jim, I've gotten close with and loved so much, he's amazing. Because we're kind of in these movies together as those two people that are like, at it for each movie.

• 8:01Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  And, uh, I'm incredibly, I feel so lucky that he said yes. The same with Keanu, never met him until the red carpet and we're live.

• 8:09Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  We're live on, I think I shook his hand beforehand, but then they go, okay, so Benny Keanu, you're gonna go live on ITV, London's biggest something? And you're on the red carpet? I'm like, hey, man, I was like, I wonder if I could play with him? If I like, do something a little bit, a little bit crazy?

• 8:25Josh Horowitz?

  Sure.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Will he join me or I don't know who is? And I went a little bit and he jumped on immediately and was so fast and funny. I was like, oh, this is an act, I could be friends with this person. He's like, he gets comedy, he understands what's funny, he knows how to yes and, of course.

• 8:39Josh Horowitz?

  Bill and Ted, come on, like iconic comedy.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Be excellent to each other. Do you remember both their full names?

• 8:46Josh Horowitz?

  Ted Theodore Logan.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  That's correct.

• 8:48Josh Horowitz?

  Bill S.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Bill something Esquire.

• 8:53Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, there you go. Have you ever seen the horrible viral video of me with Keanu?

• 8:57Speaker 01

  No, did you do something wrong?

• 9:00Josh Horowitz?

  Keanu's great, and we get along great. We really do.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I hate when you ruin things.

• 9:05Josh Horowitz?

  No, this is a rare moment where I actually ruined something. It was like about ten-

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Do you admit you made a mistake?

• 9:09Josh Horowitz?

  I did make a mistake.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Okay, tell me what happened.

• 9:10Josh Horowitz?

  Ten years ago, about ten years ago, when Ted 3 was in development.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:15Josh Horowitz?

  And I know Alex pretty well. Alex Winter, we've been talking forever. He's great.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  You know him so well you don't remember his character name. Keep going.

• 9:20Josh Horowitz?

  That's exactly it. So, I'm talking to Keanu, and I got the wrong character name.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  You said Bill.

• 9:26Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah. And he was lovely, you know, he's a gem.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  He's the nicest guy in the world.

• 9:30Josh Horowitz?

  He kinda gave me shit a little bit, like he pretended to be angry. He wasn't angry. This viral video, which by the way, for the record, I was the one that put it up online. I said, "This is funny, let's put this online." Comes back to me every year.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Did you get shit on because of it?

• 9:42Josh Horowitz?

  I get shit on every year. People send it to me, like, "This, look at this clown."

• 9:47Speaker 01

  Can we play it? I guess it doesn't make sense. You'll play with me afterwards.

• 9:51Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, I will.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  But he would never get upset.

• 9:53Josh Horowitz?

  He's the best.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  He's literally the nicest guy. I can't wait. Hopefully, we have to do a fourth one, hopefully he's in it.

• 9:58Josh Horowitz?

  He's great in this. And so can you say, do you feel like you've had a fight scene with Keanu Reeves? Because in the film, you fight Keanu, but you can't say that.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  I don't think so. I don't think, and I also can't really say, I mean, yes, I've had scenes with him, but I didn't work off him. I did all my stuff in a booth without him.

• 10:14Josh Horowitz?

  Right, right.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  So I was like, I wonder.

• 10:15Josh Horowitz?

  Who wins in an actual fight, you or Keanu Reeves? Do you have a shot?

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Keanu Reeves.

• 10:19Josh Horowitz?

  Ten seconds, you're dead.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Literally anybody in this movie. Tika could kick my butt, James Marsden, Jim Carrey, absolutely.

• 10:26Josh Horowitz?

  Idris, Idris is over.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  Idris is, oh, what are you, he looks at me and I'm like, nope. By the way, I saw Idris for the first time on the red carpet. We've done two movies-

• 10:32Josh Horowitz?

  This is the first time you met him?

• 10:32Speaker 01

  And a TV show, and I met him for the first time in the UK on the red carpet.

• 10:35Josh Horowitz?

  Another gem.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Another goofball.

• 10:37Josh Horowitz?

  I've done sketches with him, he's fantastic.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Dude, he's hilarious, and he's like, "We gotta do comedy stuff," and I was like, "My man."

• 10:43Josh Horowitz?

  He's one of the few-

• 10:43Speaker 01

  I'll start a movie with me, Idris. I'll start a movie with me, Keanu, and I'll start a movie with me and Jim.

• 10:46Josh Horowitz?

  Just so you know, you have to do something with him, because he's one of the few folks that has ever done a comedy bit with me. You're like this. Obviously, you get involved and you want a creative input, because you're so good at it. And most folks don't, though. They just show up and they're like, "What am I doing?" Idris, like, got on the phone, wanted to, like, talk through every- Yeah, he was great.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I love him. He's been so cool.

• 11:06Josh Horowitz?

  Who wins in a race, you or Idris Elba, again in the film?

• 11:09Speaker 01

  I'm gonna lose in everything. You can name anything. The only thing I'll win in is maybe improv and like, um, like a Jay Barish look-alike contest.

• 11:18Josh Horowitz?

  I was gonna-

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Like a Joe Keery look-alike contest.

• 11:20Josh Horowitz?

  I was gonna say, who is your shadow in real life?

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Ooh, so someone that's a hedgehog, but the evil version of me?

• 11:26Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah. Who's your nemesis? Is there an actor that you used to go up for a lot? Like the same roles that would get roles that you were-

• 11:34Speaker 01

  That's a great question. Me and Pall used to go up for a lot of the same roles.

• 11:37Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, but he's a buddy. That must have been awkward.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  He's a buddy of the best. It's the greatest.

• 11:40Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  God, who's my shadow? That's a great- do you have one locked and loaded?

• 11:45Josh Horowitz?

  For you? No, I got nothing for you.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  I guess it'd have to be Jewish. That would make the hedgehog part the same, right?

• 11:51Josh Horowitz?

  You can go Barishel. I could see it.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  No, he's not a villain though. I heard he's a lovely man. I've never met him before.

• 11:56Josh Horowitz?

  Right, right, right.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Met Andrew Garfield, lovely man. Lovely man. I can't imagine he'd be Shadow. He's too talented to be Shadow.

• 12:02Josh Horowitz?

  Right, right, right, right. You have no hate in your heart, though. There's no negative.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  I don't hate anybody. You know that.

• 12:06Josh Horowitz?

  People always want-

• 12:07Speaker 01

  I feel so lucky that I'm doing this.

• 12:15Josh Horowitz?

  You guys know the best stuff in your closet is the stuff that you actually wear, right? The things that you just keep coming back to, whether you're going to work, you're going out, you're just hanging around. Well, with the holidays coming up, Quince makes it really easy to find great gifts for everyone on your list. This year, I'm doing a lot of my holiday shopping at Quince, and yes, that includes a few things for myself. That's okay, right? One of the things I love about Quince is that you're getting really high-quality stuff without spending a fortune. Their cashmere sweaters start at just 60 bucks, and they've got everything from great down jackets and wool coats, to cashmere scarves and accessories. Basically, everything you need to stay warm and look good this winter. And they're using really premium materials at Quince. We're talking at 100% Mongolian cashmere, Italian leather,

• 12:57Josh Horowitz?

  even 14-karat gold. These are the kinds of things that make great gifts, but also that make people actually use them, right? And wear long after the holidays. And here's the best part. Quince prices everything 50 to 80% less than similar brands. How did they do it? Well, they work directly with- practical factories and they cut out the middlemen. So you're getting that luxury quality without paying those crazy luxury prices. I love how functional and fashionable all my Quince stuff is. I've got a cashmere hoodie that is honestly invaluable and actually makes me look like I know what I'm talking about when it comes to fashion and that is a miracle. So give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers

• 13:38Josh Horowitz?

  or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. It's now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you've heard about them, you know what to do. Let them know it was happy, sad, confused. That's the best way to support our show. If I had a dollar for everybody in my life who's benefited from therapy, I would be a very, very rich man. Therapy has certainly helped me, especially when I was a confused teenager and thankfully, that's not a shameful thing to say anymore, right? It's okay to seek help and need help and talk about it. We're all doing our best. We're just trying to get by, right, guys? Unfortunately, the reality is that getting help is still harder than it should be. That's why I'm thrilled always to have Rula as a sponsor of Happy Say Confused because it's very obvious to me

• 14:23Josh Horowitz?

  that online therapy should be both accessible and affordable for everybody. So let's make it easy for anybody who wants help to get help. That's where Rula comes in. Here's the thing, a lot of online therapy platforms don't actually talk about. Most don't take insurance. That means you're either paying out of pocket or signing up for some very expensive monthly subscription. Rula does it all differently. They work with over 120 insurance plans, so the average copay, I can't get over this, it's just 15 bucks a session. So basically two of your lattes, okay? A pretty good deal if you ask me. That means you can get real therapy from a licensed professional without breaking the bank. And Rula doesn't just set you up and leave you alone. They give you that

• 15:05Josh Horowitz?

  therapist and then they're along the way, the whole journey with you to make sure your care is working for you and you're actually making progress, hitting your goals. This can all happen right away, guys. With Rula, appointments are often available as soon as tomorrow. There are no wait lists. There's no frustrating back and forth. They make it easy. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/happy to get started. That's rula, R-U-L-A dot com slash happy. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

• 15:43Josh Horowitz?

  You've been traveling the world.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  I have.

• 15:45Josh Horowitz?

  Brazil.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Went to Brazil. L.A. to Brazil, Brazil to...

• 15:48Josh Horowitz?

  U.K.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  London, yeah. London to L.A., L.A. to New York. Which you'd think, don't you want to go from London to New York? Nope.

• 15:54Josh Horowitz?

  You need to book your own travel next time.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  London to L.A., L.A. to New York, New York to L.A., and then I'm done. And also before that, I did months of press. And I do this thing, I do this thing...

• 16:03Josh Horowitz?

  Don't touch me.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  I do this thing where Paramount's amazing, and I have an incredible publicist. I have Emmy and Gillian, they're incredible publicists. And they book all these things. But there are people like you, you're on this list, like Ali Plum, like Josh at Mythical Kitchen, or like, there's this guy Patrick Gill. So that I'll message or email beforehand, being like, hey, I'm gonna have a very big... We're doing this press, but it's gonna be pretty hectic. Do you want to do some stuff beforehand to make sure that we get to have our fun?

• 16:29Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  And so I got to do all those for the first couple of months.

• 16:31Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  And then we went crazy for this last month, where it was like every little thing. And it's been crazy. This is the biggest one by far that I've ever done.

• 16:39Josh Horowitz?

  Should we try cold calling Ali Plum, see if he's around?

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:43Josh Horowitz?

  Let's do it, here.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Do you have his number?

• 16:44Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah. No, he hasn't shared it with me yet. We're not at that stage in our relationship.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  I think he doesn't like you.

• 16:50Josh Horowitz?

  He really doesn't.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  If I was Ali Plum... Oh, Kevin McCarthy, another great one. You know Kevin?

• 16:54Josh Horowitz?

  Oh, yes, of course.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Kevin McCarthy, keep this in, Kevin McCarthy, great guy.

• 16:57Josh Horowitz?

  These are the gems, these are the gems.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  There's a lot of great people. There's a guy named Tom in Canada, great guy.

• 17:02Josh Horowitz?

  Hold on, we're gonna edit this down so it happens seamlessly. Okay, here we go, Ali. All right, what's he gonna say? What's he gonna do? What do you think?

• 17:12Speaker 01

  I just saw him two days ago. I literally just saw him two days ago.

• 17:15Josh Horowitz?

  Wait, how do I... Speaker?

• 17:16Speaker 01

  You just press speaker, you're not a known man.

• 17:17Josh Horowitz?

  One speaker, oh, that one, right? Yeah.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  What time is it by him? He didn't even think about that.

• 17:22Josh Horowitz?

  There we go. Ali Plum, livish, unhappy, sad, confused.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  God, I love him. He's not gonna pick up.

• 17:26Josh Horowitz?

  You take over, you take over. Call ended, he...

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Nothing makes me happier than Ali Plum not picking up Josh Horowitz.

• 17:35Josh Horowitz?

  Like, an active, like, decision.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  This should be the quote, this should be the line.

• 17:38Josh Horowitz?

  Can't talk now, everything okay?

• 17:41Speaker 01

  That's sweet.

• 17:43Josh Horowitz?

  No, everything's not okay.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Take a picture of us in San Antonio.

• 17:45Josh Horowitz?

  Okay.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  God, you don't know how to use your phone. Why don't you have an iPhone? Are you... You just... Tell me why, is there a reason?

• 17:50Josh Horowitz?

  If this is an iPhone, you're an idiot.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  It's not an iPhone, is it?

• 17:55Josh Horowitz?

  Yes.

• 17:58Josh Horowitz?

  I don't know if I'm sending it to him. Okay.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  And if he comes back immediately, that'd be amazing.

• 18:02Josh Horowitz?

  He's gonna run out of the hospital wherever he is. Oh wait, he's responding.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:06Josh Horowitz?

  Oh, look.

• 18:09Josh Horowitz?

  I hate that guy. No, he didn't write that. Okay, um, when's the Japan trip? You would be celebrated. Sonic the Hedgehog.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  I've never been to Japan in my life.

• 18:17Josh Horowitz?

  They would hail you as like a god.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  God, I hope so. That'd be amazing. But I bet there's a different person who does my voice in Japanese over there.

• 18:24Josh Horowitz?

  You must know that for... you don't know that?

• 18:26Speaker 01

  No, but I met the person. And just go on your phone during this whole thing. That's cool.

• 18:29Josh Horowitz?

  Just checking the scores.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  And you barely follow sports, which is weird. I met this gentleman named Manolo, who does my voice in Portuguese in Brazil.

• 18:38Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  And then he's like, "By the way, I've also do you for all these other shows." He did me for the after-party, then he brought up footage of him singing the songs I sang in the after-party. And it was the coolest thing in the world.

• 18:50Josh Horowitz?

  Um, is there... yeah, because I also want you to do kind of the Asia tour because they have all the like the weird talk shows. Like, I want to see you like in a dunk tank with like furries, like the whole...

• 19:00Speaker 01

  What?

• 19:00Josh Horowitz?

  You know.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  You think there's a show where people... wouldn't furries in dunk tank make no sense because they're all hairy? There'd be sloppy smells. Sloppy smells?

• 19:07Josh Horowitz?

  Sloppy smells, that's your favorite...

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Is that the quote?

• 19:09Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, that's your OnlyFans account.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Sloppy smells, my other character, Sloppy Smells? "Hey, everybody. It's me, Sloppy Smells." Okay, Sloppy Smells, let's do a scene as Jachar Wurts in Sloppy Smells.

• 19:19Josh Horowitz?

  Sloppy, thanks for the time today.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  You establish where we're meeting.

• 19:22Josh Horowitz?

  Well, we're meeting on an interview.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you very much. "How are you, Sloppy Smells, here?"

• 19:27Josh Horowitz?

  It's horrible, let's not do this.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  You don't want to do it.

• 19:29Josh Horowitz?

  Um, I don't want to do it. Um...

• 19:31Speaker 01

  You're a good improviser. You just said, "What a whole idea." We start a scene, you said, "I don't want to do it." That's why Ally Plum is the man. Kevin McCarthy is the man.

• 19:38Josh Horowitz?

  Hey, come on!

• 19:39Speaker 01

  100% Kevin McCarthy would do a 20-minute interview with Sloppy Smells.

• 19:43Josh Horowitz?

  What's your favorite third move?

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Do you miss MTV?

• 19:45Josh Horowitz?

  I'm still employed by MTV.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Do you miss Comedy Central?

• 19:53Josh Horowitz?

  Literally did a shoot for MTV yesterday. But, what's wrong with your eyes?

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Comedy Central, you used to work for them?

• 19:57Josh Horowitz?

  You just turned into Marty Feldman from Young Frankenstein.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Can I ask you a question? A great line, and alienate your audience. Alienate your young audience.

• 20:03Josh Horowitz?

  What did I alienate?

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Do you think they know who Marty Feldman is?

• 20:05Josh Horowitz?

  People love Young Frankenstein, it's a perennial. What?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  What is the worst red carpet interview you've had?

• 20:11Josh Horowitz?

  Uh, worst red carpet? I won't give you stuff that we had to cut. Like, why are you fishing for the worst things? What should we talk about? Um, oh, third movies and trilogies.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:20Josh Horowitz?

  What are you doing?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  In Japan. We do this when we get serious, remember?

• 20:24Josh Horowitz?

  Got Back to the Future 3, great one. Uh, Last Crusade, great one.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Yes, by the way, Last Crusade might be, I think it was Raiders, Crusade, and Doom for me. And I think for Back to the Future-

• 20:34Josh Horowitz?

  I thought you don't acknowledge the, uh-

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Temple of Doom?

• 20:36Josh Horowitz?

  No, Kingdom Crystal Skull.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Well, we're talking original 3s.

• 20:39Josh Horowitz?

  I see, okay.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  The same with Star Wars, we probably do original 3s as well, right?

• 20:42Josh Horowitz?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Um, although I love 7, you know I'm a big 7 fan.

• 20:44Josh Horowitz?

  Why?

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Uh, huge 7 fan, huge JJ, Abraham, JJ Abrams.

• 20:49Josh Horowitz?

  JJ Abrams.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Let's get JJ on the phone.

• 20:51Josh Horowitz?

  Um, please.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  And then let's do, um, Back to the Future's 1, 3, 2 as well, I think.

• 20:55Josh Horowitz?

  1, 3, 2.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Would you do that, or no?

• 20:57Josh Horowitz?

  Um, I like the manic energy of 2. 3 is classic and sweet. 2 is just like, batshit crazy.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  And also when you're a kid, the hoverboard. I think that's what everybody remembers.

• 21:08Josh Horowitz?

  Very cool.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  2 is bananas. Um, and- Hey, Robert Zemeckis.

• 21:12Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, Robert Zemeckis. So, he did the podcast recently, finally.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, listen to it.

• 21:16Josh Horowitz?

  I ch- thank you. I chatted with him. So, did you catch the part where he wants to do the Back to the Future-

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Musical movie?

• 21:21Josh Horowitz?

  Musical movie?

• 21:22Speaker 01

  I haven't seen-

• 21:23Josh Horowitz?

  You could be-

• 21:23Speaker 01

  I'm too old, I would love to be Marty Feldman.

• 21:25Josh Horowitz?

  No, sorry, you're Doc, I'm, I just-

• 21:28Speaker 01

  I would love to be Doc, but I can't sing like, I mean, who did a, who did the-

• 21:33Josh Horowitz?

  Your solo 1.21 gigawatts number is gonna be amazing.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Man, I would.

• 21:37Josh Horowitz?

  You could do a good Doc, too, that's the thing. The range on this man.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  I would love to do Doc. I think I could do an okay Doc.

• 21:43Josh Horowitz?

  No, I'm not being facetious.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  I think I could do an okay Doc.

• 21:45Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah?

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The origin story before his voice got 2 bananas?

• 21:48Josh Horowitz?

  No, no, the later years.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Christopher Reeves, uh, in the Sonic universe. He was, Christopher Reeves, Jesus, Christopher Lloyd, in the Sonic universe.

• 21:55Josh Horowitz?

  Yes.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Because he, uh, is in The Knuckle Show, he does a voice in The Knuckle Show.

• 21:58Josh Horowitz?

  Amazing.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:59Josh Horowitz?

  Uh, there is a Back to the Future reference in Sonic 3 I caught. Was that, was that, uh-

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Probably my doing? What was it?

• 22:03Josh Horowitz?

  It was a 1.21 gigawatts.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that was Jeff Fowler. That was Jeff Fowler, but yeah. Uh, anytime there's like, a weird thing that's like, this doesn't belong, it's usually me improvising and-

• 22:11Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  Jeff being like, you're the nicest guy, we're gonna let you have one of these.

• 22:14Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, there's a Golden Girls thing, I think, and there is in there a-

• 22:16Speaker 01

  That was Jeff or Tyson. B.A. Arthur?

• 22:19Josh Horowitz?

  So good.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  I know.

• 22:21Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, speaking of movie musicals, when are we gonna get you? We've seen you sing and dance a little bit.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  I've sang and danced in a couple things now, and a lot of animated stuff.

• 22:27Josh Horowitz?

  Have you gone up for a movie musical?

• 22:29Speaker 01

  I've only auditioned for one mov- oh, movie musical?

• 22:32Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  What a great question. I don't think I've ever auditioned for a mov- oh, uh, there were, uh, didn't. There was, uh, I can't talk about it.

• 22:40Josh Horowitz?

  Self-sensing.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll tell you later.

• 22:43Josh Horowitz?

  You were almost with the cats. You almost got that role.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  I almost played the butthole of all the cats. I auditioned to be the butthole of all the cats, and then all of them had songs where the little butthole talks.

• 22:51Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  "Just a little butthole, just a stinky little butthole. Won't someone let me poo poo? I am a butthole." What song is that? "And there where does he run into me?"

• 23:06Josh Horowitz?

  The only thing that could've- that would've turned that movie around. That would've made it a global box office success.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Can we do, can we do a Criterion Collection?

• 23:14Josh Horowitz?

  The butthole version?

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Of Cats, where it's all the buttholes talk.

• 23:17Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  And it's just like, hello.

• 23:19Josh Horowitz?

  Hello.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Do you think Sloppy Smells could be in there? Absolutely.

• 23:23Josh Horowitz?

  Definitely. Is that an aspiration?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Is this the best one? Can you tell when these are going well?

• 23:28Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, I haven't felt that yet.

• 23:32Josh Horowitz?

  Have you finished something?

• 23:36Josh Horowitz?

  You haven't seen Wicked yet.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  I haven't seen a movie in theaters in years. I can't wait. I literally, when this press tour, it came out during our press tour. When the press tour was over, they did a crazy press tour. They were going for that. Did you do a thing with them?

• 23:50Josh Horowitz?

  I actually didn't.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Wow, I guess you're too low. But like, they did like the important guys. So they did Ally Plumb, and they did like, I saw them on a lot of. In my head, I think, I was like, I bet they did every outlet. And then, so did you, you must've done them, no? I missed it.

• 24:03Josh Horowitz?

  I, I didn't. I met Ariana recently. She's been lovely.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  You know what's funny? I saw Ariana on, or saw some Skepsis from SNL. So funny.

• 24:11Josh Horowitz?

  Very talented.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  So funny. And gets comedy. Gets what's funny, it seems. But I love both of them. I want to see that movie very bad, because I love, I saw Gypsy last night. I love musicals.

• 24:21Josh Horowitz?

  Be more of a Glinda or Elphaba at heart, you think?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  I've never seen Wicked, I don't know.

• 24:25Josh Horowitz?

  Oh, that's right, you said that, I forgot.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  I've never seen Wicked, so I don't know. I can't wait. I've never seen the musical, which is unlike me.

• 24:30Josh Horowitz?

  What's your favorite musical of all time?

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, the one that got me into musicals was probably the movie version of Little Shop of Horrors. And then my mom was a Bronx music teacher for 50 years, 50 years my mom was a Bronx music teacher. So whenever I come to New York, I bring her. So yesterday I brought her to Gypsy. Every time I'm in New York, I come in on the earliest flight.

• 24:48Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  And I make sure to take my mom to a musical. So we've seen like, a billion musicals.

• 24:52Josh Horowitz?

  It's kind of spot on casting, but you could have, you still could. Seymour is something you could do.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  That would be a dream come true. Seymour the dentist, that would be a dream come true.

• 24:59Josh Horowitz?

  Dentist, yeah. They've been close to making that movie for years.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  I'm sure they have.

• 25:03Josh Horowitz?

  Chris Evans apparently was cast as the dentist.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  He could sing, right?

• 25:06Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Did he do his press tour for Red One? Wow, this is crazy. So do people stop coming here? Why don't people come here?

• 25:14Josh Horowitz?

  That's not true. I've had, I do two podcasts a week, I do more than ever.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  I guess, but not the big ones, I guess.

• 25:20Josh Horowitz?

  Well.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Oh no, you said Paul Mescal, was here. Did you do Pedro? Unbelievable.

• 25:25Josh Horowitz?

  He's making a Fantastic Four movie.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he did a lot of press for Gladiator 2, I saw him on every podcast. He did a, he does anybody's podcast.

• 25:33Josh Horowitz?

  He's never done the podcast.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Pronounce his name, maybe, because you're pronouncing his name.

• 25:37Josh Horowitz?

  Pedro Pascal.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  That's right. What's, what's a name that, that you had to practice before interviewing the person because you're nervous you got it wrong?

• 25:44Josh Horowitz?

  Oh, you know, you know who I screwed up once and he called me out on it? This is an obscure one, not obscure, he's a wonderful actor.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Oh god, we'll cut that. Okay, keep going.

• 25:52Josh Horowitz?

  I was doing an event for a movie called Hitman. Ladies and gentlemen, Ed Screen. It's scrine like wine.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, he said that?

• 26:00Josh Horowitz?

  I'm sorry. And now, you know.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  We gotta cut this.

• 26:02Josh Horowitz?

  I have to cut this. He follows me now, and we get along. Ed, I'm sorry.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Cut this.

• 26:06Josh Horowitz?

  I'm not gonna cut that, I'm not gonna cut that.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I don't want you embarrassing yourself.

• 26:09Josh Horowitz?

  There's gonna be two minutes of this.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  It's fine, cares. At least you got two minutes, you get zero minutes, everybody else. When's the last time you interviewed The Rock? Has to be years.

• 26:17Josh Horowitz?

  I, it's not true.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Because you guys used to be boys, right?

• 26:20Josh Horowitz?

  We still are, he's actually lovely.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Can you text The Rock?

• 26:24Josh Horowitz?

  I can't, actually.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  What's the craziest person you could text on your phone? Has to be The Rock.

• 26:31Josh Horowitz?

  Of course. What about you?

• 26:33Speaker 01

  Ali Plum.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  But I only have him on WhatsApp. He won't let me really text him.

• 26:37Josh Horowitz?

  Who's, okay, who's a celebrity friend, you get their text, and to this day, it's like, how, this is amazing.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Um, there are plenty, because I'm like, Billy Crystal's a family member now. He's like an actual, he's like my big brother. I will say, because we're on the Sonic tour now, when Jim texts me and it says his name and it says whatever he's saying, it's, even though we are friends now, I think there's a thing where, when you work with someone, before you work with them, they're the thing you've seen for years.

• 27:03Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Like Jim, or Keanu, or all those things, the, before you talk to them for the first time, they are otherworldly.

• 27:09Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  They are the thing you've seen, and then the second you have your first conversation, and you're like, oh, you're a human.

• 27:13Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  Now we can connect as human beings, and I've had that with Jim for years now. But like, you know, the beginning is like this, and then you're like, okay, now this is like my dude, and all this stuff. But when I get texts from Jim, it still says his name on it when it comes through. And I was like, oh, this is so great, that I can talk to someone that I admire so much. And it's not me, like,

• 27:32Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  I'm not forcing him to text me, you know what I mean?

• 27:34Josh Horowitz?

  And usually it's texts like, you know what, I'm thinking about retirement again, because you've driven me there.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:39Josh Horowitz?

  Do you feel responsible that you keep driving him close to retirement?

• 27:42Speaker 01

  Or do I keep bringing him back? You ever think about that? Well, he did the third one.

• 27:47Josh Horowitz?

  He did.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  He said, maybe retire, and then he came back, and he's,

• 27:49Josh Horowitz?

  I will say for the record,

• 27:50Speaker 01

  he's so good in this movie.

• 27:52Josh Horowitz?

  He is so good. It's what you want.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  He is, it's crazy to me because he's so, he's such a big actor, and he's so, he picks his roles very, I mean, he's just on Sonic for a bit, that he could phone it in and make whatever he's making, and be fine. He,

• 28:08Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  A thousand percent.

• 28:09Josh Horowitz?

  Hundred percent.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  And he comes in with a hundred things that he thought of, he does all of them, then he acts opposite himself in this movie. He works so hard, and it's so, he's so good in it.

• 28:19Josh Horowitz?

  Okay, as a great comic performer, you're, fuck you, come on!

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 28:23Josh Horowitz?

  For, give me 90 seconds on what makes Jim Carrey the GOAT. What, what is he?

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Great, I could do this? I haven't even thought about it. I could do it off the bat. That's how much I know. If you look at all of his movies, he commits so hard. And I can even say that for dramatic roles. You look at Truman Show, you look at Eternal Sunshine. He commits so hard to the characters that he is 100% the character. Or even the Grinch, or anything, like whatever he does. And he also is committed to finding the best version of everything. And I believe he's involved with all of his, well, I don't know this, I'm just assuming. But I know with Sonic, he's very much involved with not only the creation of the character, not only figuring out the lines, then in post, he's there to like check things out and stuff like that. Because he cares. He wants it to be good. He's like us. He cares about the movie. For me, as someone who's an improviser, when I'm doing my scenes as Sonic,

• 29:11Speaker 01

  if I find a way to make someone else pop in the scene, because I'm seeing the actual scene. So if I can say like a sentence that'll make that joke pop even more for Jim, or Colleen, or Keanu, I will be the straight man so they can have a little bit more of a whatever. So it's like, he's very much looking at the film and wants the film to be great. But he's just extraordinary in this role.

• 29:30Josh Horowitz?

  Totally agree.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  You've got your favorite blanket, a freshly poured drink, and a cold case burning a hole in your streaming queue. You're not just watching true crime, you're running the investigation from the comfort of your couch. Welcome to Murder She Watched, the podcast where we recap, dissect, and slightly overanalyze some of the best and craziest true crime documentaries on our favorite streamers. Did the spouse do it? Why is the shady neighbor wearing leather gloves in July? Why did this guy agree to be interviewed in this documentary? We ask the tough questions that you're often just screaming at your TV. So every week, we break down the twists, red herrings, and absurd documentaries that have kept you up all night.

• 30:21Speaker 03

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• 30:36Speaker 04

  The Tudors were probably the most scandalous dynasty in British history. Names like Henry VIII and Bloody Mary are still known today. This season on Vulgar History, we're spilling the historical tea on the messy Tudor era. We'll get into the Anne Boleyn of it all, figure out who really wrote Shakespeare's plays? Was Elizabeth really a virgin queen? And why was Henry VIII the [bleep] worst? Listen to Vulgar History wherever you get podcasts.

• 31:06Josh Horowitz?

  What do you think has made a greater contribution to Rings and pop culture? Sonic the Hedgehog or Lord of the Rings?

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Man, it probably Lord of the Rings, right?

• 31:14Josh Horowitz?

  No, you can...

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Well, 1991, well, I guess Lord of the Rings was written by then. I, it's hard, it's hard to say. I mean, what made, what gave more coins? Was it, was it Mario? Or was it, it's a very famous coin movie.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  Think of a very famous coin movie.

• 31:34Josh Horowitz?

  I can't, I literally can't.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Goonies? No.

• 31:37Josh Horowitz?

  There were coins in there somewhere. Ooh, and depressed her brain shutting down. Why, why are you not getting a, don't, we talked about this. No live action role in Sonic. You could be in there. You, of course you could.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Jeff wanted, every movie, one was like during COVID, I couldn't come with that. The other one, I was filming a Space Force in the same country as them, but the set wouldn't allow me to go to their set because of COVID rules. This last one, they were in London, but I mean, I guess I could have jumped in there. He said that, maybe the fourth, if we had a fourth.

• 32:08Josh Horowitz?

  Okay.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  And also, I've been trying to get a catchphrase in. The 90s hit show The Critic. I've been trying to get Sonic...

• 32:15Josh Horowitz?

  I hated it.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 32:17Josh Horowitz?

  What was it?

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Hachi machi. I've been trying to get him to say hachi machi for...

• 32:21Josh Horowitz?

  Didn't he say, "I hated it"? Did I make that up?

• 32:23Speaker 01

  No, that's his, that is his, that's his.

• 32:24Josh Horowitz?

  I thought I was crazy for a second.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Is it, "I hate it"? It stinks.

• 32:27Josh Horowitz?

  It's...

• 32:28Speaker 01

  It stinks.

• 32:29Josh Horowitz?

  That's not good.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  No, that's wrong. That's not it either. Do I do Homer's famous catchphrase?

• 32:33Josh Horowitz?

  Here we go.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  That's Mario. Eat my pants.

• 32:40Josh Horowitz?

  You've been on The Simpsons, haven't you?

• 32:41Speaker 01

  That was one of my three goals when I started doing this. Simpsons?

• 32:44Josh Horowitz?

  Happy, Sad, Confused.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Happy, Sad, Confused.

• 32:46Josh Horowitz?

  And Ali Pum's Best Friend.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Ali Pum's Best Friend. I only have one of them.

• 32:51Josh Horowitz?

  Simpsons?

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Host SNL, which I haven't done. I wonder if I'll ever do it. That'd be really fun.

• 32:55Josh Horowitz?

  Probably not. No, of course you will.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Probably not. If I miss it for Sonic 3, what else?

• 32:59Josh Horowitz?

  No, it's happening. Of course it's happening.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  I gotta get one of these things that are in development on the air. And then, and then what's the other one? Oh, be a guest on Letterman. Because I was a page at Letterman. And then it was a big deal for me to hopefully want to be a guest. And I got to be a guest on him two weeks before he stopped doing it.

• 33:15Josh Horowitz?

  No, no, no, don't take it. You need to hydrate.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've been talked a lot.

• 33:18Josh Horowitz?

  It's okay, it's okay. We were talking, as you sat down, about our mutual Mr. Sam Rockwell. One of our favorite human beings. Getting closer. He got Yorma directing.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  We have a movie called DNA. It's at Searchlight. I wrote it. It stars me and Sam Rockwell, Oscar Award-winning Sam Rockwell.

• 33:37Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, yeah. And- He won for Blue Iguana.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  He won for Blue Iguana, our movie, our... By the way, that short film that we made-

• 33:44Josh Horowitz?

  We did. Thank you, Blue Iguana guy, yeah.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Yes, after, we've done three or four things together. And after Blue Iguana, he's like, "We gotta work together again." And I said, uh, he goes, "Well, maybe you write the next one." I go, "Yeah, when I write the next one, we do that." And so we thought of an idea, we pitched it. It was unmakeable, um, which I'll tell you why later, not on this podcast. And then, uh, Sam's like, "Let's think of another idea." And I thought of this idea and pitched it. And Searchlight said yes. Then we got Party Over Here attached, after I wrote a bunch of drafts. And then Yorma, who's a genius-

• 34:13Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Is gonna direct it. And he's gonna direct it. He's gonna be amazing. He has great vision for it. And now we just wait to hopefully get started.

• 34:19Josh Horowitz?

  Um, we know nothing about it. It sounds like you don't want to say much about it, but it's-

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Not allowed to.

• 34:24Josh Horowitz?

  DNA?

• 34:24Speaker 01

  DNA, DNA's the title. By the way, it's so funny, in movie making, it was called the Rockwell-Schwartz- And then there's a word there that would spoil the movie-

• 34:32Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  -project. And then, um, then, um, it was that forever. And they're like, "Yeah, think of a title." I'm like, "Oh, God." And I've been writing it for years.

• 34:39Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  And I was like, "Okay." And then we did a hundred titles. And then all of a sudden, it was just like, "Well, what about DNA?" And someone's like, "Great." And we just handed in with DNA. And now it's every, the name of the-

• 34:49Josh Horowitz?

  Does that have anything to do with the actual film?

• 34:52Speaker 01

  What if the title had nothing to do with it? Does E.T. have anything to do with it? Is Back to the Future just a phrase that Robert Zemeckis says on the side?

• 34:59Josh Horowitz?

  I just don't understand why it's aggressive.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  The Grinch. Is he in this one?

• 35:03Josh Horowitz?

  Is it connected to Jurassic Park? Is it a Mr. DNA origin story?

• 35:08Speaker 01

  I can't say, but Dino DNA. I can't say, but that's, you're not, you're not bad.

• 35:15Josh Horowitz?

  Um, thank you.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  I saw you do an interview once, oh no, it wasn't you, someone better. I saw them do an interview once where they like forced a person to talk about something they shouldn't talk about. And they did, and you could tell they didn't want to.

• 35:25Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, I've had that experience once or twice.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  And then did they tell you after to take it, oh, this is a real question?

• 35:28Josh Horowitz?

  Oh, that happens all the time.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Okay, how often does, because I've never asked.

• 35:31Josh Horowitz?

  It happened literally two days ago, yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Which interview?

• 35:33Josh Horowitz?

  Uh, I'm not gonna say.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Well, we just want to know what it was that you took out.

• 35:36Josh Horowitz?

  Uh, it was an actor who actually just misspoke about a casting thing. It wasn't Paul Mescal.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  It was Paul Mescal, and you asked him if he's in the new Star Wars, and he says, uh, no.

• 35:44Josh Horowitz?

  Have you met Tom Cruise?

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Oh, uh, he came off a motorcycle once and I waved to him. That's real. I was a bad robot for something. He came, they were doing the.

• 35:54Josh Horowitz?

  Are you just hanging out a bad robot like all the time?

• 35:56Speaker 01

  I used to write there, because I didn't have an office, and JJ is literally my brother.

• 35:59Josh Horowitz?

  Yep.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  So, um, he.

• 36:01Josh Horowitz?

  Not literally, just for the record.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  No, but we could be brothers.

• 36:03Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, you could, but.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  He also acts.

• 36:05Josh Horowitz?

  You understand what the word literal means, just so you know.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  I don't know. I did Parks and Rec, and they say the word literal a lot in that TV show. He came off a bike and he was wearing a helmet, and then he took off his helmet, and I was like, whoa! And I just went wave, and he waved at everybody. You're friends with Tom, could you text Tom Cruise?

• 36:20Josh Horowitz?

  I can't text, so this is the ongoing thing. If you know anything about me.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  He gets cake?

• 36:24Josh Horowitz?

  It's the cake. I don't get the cake, and I'm obsessed.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Oh, you don't get the cake?

• 36:27Josh Horowitz?

  I don't get the fucking cake.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Tell him.

• 36:30Josh Horowitz?

  I have, I've done this, I do this like on every episode. No, he doesn't listen, no one cares.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Tom, can I ask you a question? You and I do movies for the same studio.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  It would make my life if you gave me a cake before you did Josh's cake. I have no, I have no investment in this, it's out of the idea of it would make my life if I got it before Josh, and I've only waved at you once.

• 36:51Josh Horowitz?

  Let's run through other folks, okay? So you've kind of met Tom Cruise, have you met?

• 36:54Speaker 01

  No, I just waved at him.

• 36:55Josh Horowitz?

  Have you met Oprah Winfrey?

• 36:58Speaker 01

  No, but I just hung out with Gayle King for the first time downstairs.

• 37:00Josh Horowitz?

  One degree away. Have you met Kevin Feige?

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Um, I, yes, I've shook his hand.

• 37:06Josh Horowitz?

  Okay.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  But it wasn't a meeting.

• 37:08Josh Horowitz?

  That's our headline today. So you are gonna play Iron Man.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Did I shake his hand? I just shook his hand, but I never got to talk to him.

• 37:15Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  I have so much to talk to him about.

• 37:17Josh Horowitz?

  What would you start with? Where would you go?

• 37:19Speaker 01

  I'm so proud of him.

• 37:20Josh Horowitz?

  Hi, I'm Kevin Feige.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  That's not how he talks.

• 37:22Josh Horowitz?

  No, I'm just...

• 37:22Speaker 01

  This is why people don't do your podcast. Do an impression of someone else.

• 37:26Josh Horowitz?

  Um, I'm Meryl Streep.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  That's exactly how she talks.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Um, I'm a huge fan of Marvel Universe. You know that. We've talked about Marvel movies before. I also have Secret Wars at home. I replenished my knowledge on it.

• 37:40Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Um, there's a lot of fun characters in that. So I'm like, ooh, what are they gonna do with this one? And also, they have different versions of characters.

• 37:46Josh Horowitz?

  I was gonna say, you could be a variant of Mr. Incredible Man. I don't read comics.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Mr. Fantastic? In The Fantastic Four? Pedro's doing that. And he doesn't do his podcast, because you don't know.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Does Pedro give you his cake?

• 38:01Josh Horowitz?

  Does he really give a cake?

• 38:04Josh Horowitz?

  Have you met Daniel Day-Lewis?

• 38:06Speaker 01

  No, but I love him. We used to do a bit, uh, Military Torts used to do a bit at the very beginning when we first started at Largo, where we would tape off one seat every show for Daniel Day-Lewis. And we say, and at the beginning of the show, no joke, we did this every time. The only part that wasn't improvised, and we would tell people it wasn't improvised afterwards. We'd be like, I can't, I forgot that we did this. I would, I think I started off as like a bit. I did it as a bit, and then we did it for so many shows. Um, as a bit at the beginning, um, where I'd be like, um, okay, uh, listen, I don't want to embarrass you if you're here. It was so fun. I don't embarrass you here. We did tape off one seat, and you don't, we're not gonna bother you during the show, but Daniel Day-Lewis, if you're here, because we heard there's a chance you may come this time.

• 38:49Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  If you're here, just say hi. And I tell the whole audience, just please don't fucking say, please, nobody talk. Don't do a bit and pretend you're Daniel Day-Lewis, because this means a lot to us. So just don't say anything. Okay, I'm gonna count down from three. And we go, three, two, one, and then the entire audience is like nervous. And so they're really quiet, and we wait for 10 seconds, and go, that fucking piece of shit didn't cover it.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  The only part that wasn't improv, and then we'd say afterwards, like, "Oh, we did it." All right.

• 39:14Josh Horowitz?

  I love it. So where does Ben Schwartz and Friends go from here? Do you improv in space? Like, what can you do with this?

• 39:20Speaker 01

  We're doing the Sydney Opera House. And we sold it out in a week. Ben Schwartz and Friends playing the Sydney Opera House, sold it out in a week. We're doing three shows in Australia. We did Royal Albert Hall. But I am hitting the top of... Now I'm just doing the venues that I like again, or the cities that have good food and I want to visit.

• 39:36Josh Horowitz?

  This is a good criteria. But like, it's... You could do this forever, and hopefully you will, in some capacity.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Because it's improv. Every show is totally different. I could play the same city three nights in a row, and it's three totally different shows.

• 39:46Josh Horowitz?

  Is there... Because I know what we've talked about. See, you did the Netflix thing back there.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:49Josh Horowitz?

  Like, is there an aspiration to do something different with it?

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Do you want to drop? Do you want me to tell you? I'll give you exclusive.

• 39:55Josh Horowitz?

  Let's do it.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Okay. Without giving up too much away. I'm working on a secret Ben Schwartz and Friends thing. And we've been developing it. And, you know what? If it doesn't get made, then at least you know that it happened. I'm trying to start to think about it like that. I have done... I've sold so many movies that haven't gotten made, that nobody knows, that I've done.

• 40:16Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  That I can't talk about what it is. But every now and then, I'm gonna be like, "Yeah, all right. I'm developing this secret Ben Schwartz and Friends thing. Who knows if it'll get made? But it's really special to me. And we're at a place now where we can start pitching it next year, so we're gonna do that. And trying to do something with the earlier show again. And we're gonna go out with that. And like, we're starting to play with that again." So it's like...

• 40:33Josh Horowitz?

  Those clips always... I mean, they always travel. People love them.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  So I put them on the internet to try to see if people cared enough. And then I could take the numbers, which are millions of those clips, and use it as a selling tool. Because it's up to me. It's like, the hustle is the creator's job.

• 40:47Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  So I'm trying to give us anything to show someone why it would make sense to make this. And then I give them the new pitch of what the show is now.

• 40:53Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  So that's going on. There's a Ben Schwartz thing that if it doesn't happen, maybe I can release what we've worked on so far. But, um, we'll see. It's a weird time in the industry where I was like, "I think the only way for me to really get things going right now..." Like, I'm in development with stuff in the same way I have where it takes years. "I'm gonna try to do stuff independently, or I'm gonna try to find somebody to join my team and like, make this very inexpensively here, and we try to sell it. And then we can put the money in to finish it and stuff like that."

• 41:19Josh Horowitz?

  Genre-wise? We're talking about musicals?

• 41:21Speaker 01

  Genre-wise.

• 41:23Josh Horowitz?

  Western, erotic thriller? What are you trying... What boxes are you trying to check you haven't done yet?

• 41:28Speaker 01

  You're not talking about DNA? You're just talking about in general?

• 41:29Josh Horowitz?

  Not DNA. No, I'm not fishing.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Um... Man.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Man, I'd love to be in a time travel movie. That would be fun.

• 41:37Josh Horowitz?

  Yes.

• 41:41Josh Horowitz?

  You have no aspirations. You're done. You're empty inside.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Directors. I'd love to work with Spielberg. That'd be amazing. I'd love to do something with JJ again. Do his Imecus thing again. Edgar Wright, I think, is a genius. Taika, I think, is a genius. There's so many people that I would love to work with. I think it's more me attaching directors. But John was like, I've done a romance, a comedy before. Super fun. I think I can make a funny version of that if I was allowed to rewrite or write some stuff.

• 42:05Josh Horowitz?

  Right. If they actually made those at this point, too.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  Well, they don't really make comedies anymore.

• 42:09Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, that's a small problem.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  You're never raised on 10 to 25 million dollar comedies. Jim Carrey.

• 42:14Josh Horowitz?

  I know.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  His first, his 90s run is like bananas. They don't exist anymore. And I don't know why. I've heard people explain to me why, but I don't really believe it.

• 42:25Josh Horowitz?

  It doesn't make sense because the thing that keeps like surviving in theaters that we always talk about is horror because it's a communal experience.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  But wouldn't comedy be that too?

• 42:33Josh Horowitz?

  That's exactly what I'm saying. It's like those two are horror and comedy, so I don't get it.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Someone once told me you can get so much comedy on TikTok and Instagram that there's a venue for it. And I was like, it's not a movie. It's different. It's like, maybe you can't get horror and that stuff, but it's like, yeah, I don't know. It makes me disappointed because it would be my bread and butter for writing and for acting. And it's just, there's no place for it. There's no like, who's the next comedy star? There isn't like,

• 42:56Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  There isn't some, I think there needs to be another explosion and then other people can, that's why I root for anything that's kind of funny. I just want it to win always. Because then it leaves room for that. But I think we don't have to make them expensive.

• 43:07Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  So the risk is low.

• 43:09Josh Horowitz?

  Great comedy, yeah.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Like, maybe five. Let's do one for five. We'll get the funniest people in a room. So I have a couple of those in development, too, but, you know, I've had a bunch of those in development for a while.

• 43:18Josh Horowitz?

  Are you ready for the Happy Side Confused profoundly random questions?

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, is that a thing?

• 43:22Josh Horowitz?

  Wow, big podcast listener of Happy Side Confused.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  I'll listen for the guests. I skipped through your part.

• 43:29Josh Horowitz?

  Dogs or cats?

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Dogs, easiest. You and I are both dogs. Not even a question.

• 43:33Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't trust cats. I think they're, I think they're up to something. That's the exclusive.

• 43:40Josh Horowitz?

  What do you collect? I know you collect stuff.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  I collect animation cells, uh, I like sneakers, uh, I have all my old Nintendo and Super Nintendo games. I bought back all my Nintendo games from the person I sold them to in high school. I can't tell you how, I'm so, I won't say his name, just because I didn't want to be involved, but he was so lovely. I said, "Hey, you're not for it." I hadn't been on Facebook in 15 years.

• 44:01Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Or 10 years. I went on Facebook, I found this person.

• 44:04Josh Horowitz?

  You wanted those specifically? Because you know they're available, they're just general.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  I wanted my ones. And I just said, "Hey, is I, in high school, when I was a senior, I had to sell my Nintendo games." And I was the one that had Nintendo longer than everybody else, so I had all, I had like Gilligan's Island, all these games that nobody else wanted, they gave to me. Because nobody else had a Nintendo and they couldn't sell these games.

• 44:21Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  So I'd play them, because I love video games. And so, um, I was going away to college and my dad's like, "You can't just have, like, we need room." And it hurt me so much and I sold them. And then I said, "Hey, man, I don't know if you remember me, my name is Ben, uh, you, we, we, uh, I sold you my Nintendo and my Nintendo games and my power pad and my zapper when I was a kid. Is there any way you have any of those left?" And he's like, "Oh my God, first of all, this has to be you. Nobody knows that in high school you sold me whatever, because my name is different on Facebook." And so, um, he goes, "I might have them, I have a storage container." And he makes video games now, board games. He's like, uh, he goes, "Let me check." And he took a picture and he had like eight tenths of the games. He had so many of the games. And he goes, "I have a Nintendo and I have a bunch of games, I don't know which one's yours."

• 45:04Speaker 01

  And he let me take them back and buy them back. And then, when he got there, I saw that Nintendo was mine, it had the same gum stain that mine did. And I took a Zelda and I put it in and it said my name in it. And it was my exact game and all of them are my exact games.

• 45:18Josh Horowitz?

  I can pick up right where I left them!

• 45:21Speaker 01

  I literally got emotional.

• 45:22Josh Horowitz?

  Go to Gen Z Island next.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  One of the guys' names was Starks, I was a big John Starks fan at the time. So Zelda was called, Link was called Starks at the time. But it was like, so I collect, I like that. I like collecting things. I have little memory boxes ever since I was a kid. Throughout my life, when I have something, I put them in a memory box. So I have, and they're sneaker boxes. So I can see the sneaker boxes change as I grow. And everything is filled. Like it started when I was in high school, then I was at UCB, all my like class shows. And I have boxes of these things. Shoe boxes.

• 45:49Josh Horowitz?

  Wallpaper on your phone?

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Oh, Calvin and Hobbes. Always. And it says, it's the very last frame of Calvin and Hobbes. And it says, "Let's go exploring."

• 45:58Josh Horowitz?

  I remember that, of course. We kind of alluded to this, but last actor you were mistaken for? Has it ever happened?

• 46:05Josh Horowitz?

  I guess we were talking about your shadow, but in a different way. Do people present you with an odd...

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Not really. People do bits about it, but I've never really like, uh... Not really. There have been like, Joe Keery and I did a sketch together.

• 46:15Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  And, um, some stuff about Andrew being like a hotter, more talented version of me. I wanted to make a movie with him and I.

• 46:23Josh Horowitz?

  He got too hot. He's gotten too like, he's...

• 46:25Speaker 01

  He's gorgeous and he's so talented.

• 46:26Josh Horowitz?

  He's peaking. He's like, what is happening?

• 46:28Speaker 01

  Not Princess Diaries. Which is the one where like two, two people who are related, but one's English? And then, like, Prince of the Popper I want to make with him. I want him to be like royalty and I'm like the schlubby New York guy. Who's like more Jewish than him. And then like, he wants to go out and hang out in the slums and I want to be a king for a day. I want to write that movie. Where we're cousins, but we can kind of fake it.

• 46:47Josh Horowitz?

  Amazing.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  So there we go. Let's sell that.

• 46:49Josh Horowitz?

  Okay, we got it. Worst note a director has ever given you?

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Great question, Josh. Worst note a director's ever, ever given you?

• 47:04Josh Horowitz?

  You can say a generally unhelpful thing you don't like, or a specific thing that really rubbed you the wrong way.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  I'm pretty good with receiving notes. I'm pretty good with that. What's the worst thing? Oh, okay, I can give you one. A director, but it's not like, it wasn't this person's fault. But there was a stunt where I was gonna fly and the director and the first A.D. said, "It's gonna be at the end of the day." And I was like, "Okay, great." And so I ate a huge lunch because I was like, "I'm not gonna be eating till the end of the day." Ate a, I remember what I ate. It was like a burrito with everything in it. Guacamole, sour cream and a lactose intolerant. And they go, "Hey, we're moving your flying scene up." That's my fault. "We're gonna move your, we're gonna move your flying scene till after..." And I've just finished. And it was a scene where I... So when you do flying scenes, sometimes you have the, sometimes you have the thing where they pick you up like this. But mine was supposed to be Superman-ing. So they, they put, they had me down like here.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  And they put a thing on me here, so it's, and then they lift, and there's a big crane that goes like 50 feet in the air. And they lift me, so all of my weight is on my stomach. And they lift me like this. And I, and it's a kid's movie, it was for Floor and Ulysses. And I literally go up and I go, "I'm gonna throw up."

• 48:08Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, I thought the poop was gonna come out.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  No, no, no, that's how I died in Renfield. Which I was like, "Hey, guys, that's not really how it's gonna happen." And they're like, "Oh, we're, we're, we're throwing around some ideas." And I was like, "Yeah, I just don't know if my character should shit himself and throw up today." And he goes, "Yeah, yeah." And I go, "I don't understand how that would even happen, because I'm wearing pants, you wouldn't even see it, so maybe we, I don't know, let's chat that out." "Of course, of course, of course." Cut to, cut to me doing ADR, absolutely shitting, like, I was like, "What?" But anyway.

• 48:35Josh Horowitz?

  We focused script it, they, the audience needs it, yeah, they want it.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  And people laughed, so they were right, but...

• 48:40Josh Horowitz?

  Sorry, anyway, yes.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  And it lifted me up and all the weight was on my stomach and it, I was gonna throw up in this Disney movie. And I'm like, "I'm gonna throw up, I'm gonna throw up." And I told them, and the guy said, "Well, well, when was the last time you ate?" And I said, "I just ate." They go, "Oh, no, no, no, no, you can't do that." All the stuntmen are like, "No, no, no, no, you can't do that." And I was up there and every time I did the scene, if you watch it, it's me sweating because I'm so close to throwing up. And I never threw up, but it was really tough. That was a really tough thing.

• 49:07Josh Horowitz?

  What movie was this?

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Floor and Ulysses, a really cute movie.

• 49:09Josh Horowitz?

  That makes sense, yeah, yeah.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Matilda Lawler, the best.

• 49:12Josh Horowitz?

  Okay, and in the spirit of Happy, Sad, Confused, an actor that always makes you happy.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Oh, Sam Rockwell always makes me happy. I love Sam Rockwell, but Jim Carrey too, and now Keanu Reeves.

• 49:23Josh Horowitz?

  Movie that makes you sad?

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Ooh, first movie I cried to is Beaches. Up, I cried the first act of Up every single time. That's a cry, I just cried at something. I just saw something and cried the other day. I don't mind crying in a movie, I like it.

• 49:37Josh Horowitz?

  No, you need to be in touch with your feelings.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Do you cry often, for real? I don't see you as a person who cries.

• 49:41Josh Horowitz?

  I cry at movies, I mean, thankfully not so much in real life.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  When you cry, do you try to hide it?

• 49:46Josh Horowitz?

  No, I like to, I like to lean in, I'm in. And a food that makes you confused.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Uni.

• 49:53Josh Horowitz?

  Oh.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  Uni, I don't like uni.

• 49:55Josh Horowitz?

  The consistency, it's a little slimy.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Cats don't trust it, yeah, you eat it and it's like a little too salt watery, a little too like, oif, what's going on?

• 50:03Josh Horowitz?

  Oif.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  You know what I mean, a lot of oif.

• 50:04Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  I just did a show where we were eating food and uni, not only was uni the thing, but it was served in sea urchin. And I was like, this is, we're all doing too much, it's all too much.

• 50:15Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Great show though.

• 50:18Josh Horowitz?

  Good job today.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Top 25 of all time?

• 50:24Josh Horowitz?

  I need to go back to the tape, I need to check it out.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, because we don't know what we're gonna cut, like, is it funny just because we're gonna cut a lot of stuff?

• 50:32Josh Horowitz?

  I had a good time, this was enjoyable 45 minutes.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  You gotta say top 25.

• 50:35Josh Horowitz?

  Top 25, top 25. Ben Schwartz, the titular character.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  And are you retiring this year for real or no?

• 50:42Josh Horowitz?

  What's the, is there a round?

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Just because you can't get interviews anymore. Yeah, yeah, people like, he's barely got it anymore.

• 50:47Josh Horowitz?

  Just put in a good word for me with Pedro. Pedro.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  Pedro Pascal.

• 50:50Josh Horowitz?

  Pedro Pascal.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  You think, one day I think you'll get that, you've interviewed him once, I'm sure.

• 50:53Josh Horowitz?

  I've done like little bits here and there, carpets, it's lovely, what a gem.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 50:58Josh Horowitz?

  I'm not just saying that because I want him on the podcast, no I do.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Who's the person you've always wanted to interview, because Zemeckis was that person.

• 51:03Josh Horowitz?

  Zemeckis was what, up there, they're filmmakers, I think of like.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  You did Quentin Tarantino too, didn't you?

• 51:06Josh Horowitz?

  He's done it a couple of times thankfully, PTA.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be cool, I'd love to do a PTA. Who?

• 51:12Josh Horowitz?

  Fincher.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 51:14Josh Horowitz?

  You want to be run down by Fincher, you want to do the 75 takes.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  I wonder if I could survive a Fincher.

• 51:18Josh Horowitz?

  You can do it.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  I would love to, he makes all the movies.

• 51:20Josh Horowitz?

  I'd like to see you try to crack up, he has a great sense of, I've interviewed him, he is a dark, twisted, great sense of humor.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  PTA I think I would crush with, there's also some people that are like more attuned to like, let's see what happens, let's play and see what happens. I think I'd really have fun because I've never really done a movie where they're like, let's really go bananas.

• 51:36Josh Horowitz?

  That would be interesting though, yeah, in the Fincher context where he's so like meticulous.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, methodical, that I want, like very mathematical.

• 51:43Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  I wonder if I love that too, because I like love numbers, I do love numbers. What do you collect?

• 51:49Josh Horowitz?

  I, I have a decent movie poster collection, but they're not, I don't have New York apartment, I don't have the space for.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Is there something that's too expensive, but you always wanted it to, what about props?

• 51:58Josh Horowitz?

  I don't do it, yeah, I don't, it's more of a sleeve.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  You would love props, I think.

• 52:01Josh Horowitz?

  I would, if I had the palatial LA home that you did, but I'm in a New York apartment, what am I gonna do with all the stuff?

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Your dog is too big.

• 52:08Josh Horowitz?

  Dog takes up space, the wardrobe, the gorgeous clothes.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Can we talk about how you upgraded two years ago, two or three years ago, something happened where you're like, I gotta dress better?

• 52:17Speaker 01

  And we all noticed it, all of us noticed it.

• 52:18Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah, it was a big talk online.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  I complimented you, didn't I?

• 52:20Josh Horowitz?

  You've been very kind.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  I'm like, something's happened, where you're like, you care about what you look like.

• 52:25Josh Horowitz?

  Well, I'm 75 years old.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  You look like an ogre. You know, like, you know the trolls that hide under bridges?

• 52:31Josh Horowitz?

  Yeah.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  That don't let you come in here? That, to me, that's what you are and where you live.

• 52:35Josh Horowitz?

  It started with a compliment.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  It's got, a troll's cool, man. Like, all of us need trolls, your security. You're an ugly troll. Not even a regular troll, you're an ugly troll. So when you put on, like, even a scarf, I'm like, oh, this ugly troll's putting a little effort in.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  Thanks so much for having me on the podcast. Happy Sad Confused, subscribe, like, click the button below. And remember, Josh Horowitz will come to your bar mitzvah and interview you if you have the right amount of money. HappySadConfused.com backslash tour, he's going on tour. You're hitting off, uh, some cool theaters coming up. I don't know if you wanna see him, he's playing the Ha Ha Hut over in Milwaukee. I'm playing Milwaukee in January.

• 53:13Josh Horowitz?

  Oh, Ha Ha Hut?

• 53:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 53:14Josh Horowitz?

  Is that a real thing?

• 53:15Speaker 01

  No, but there's a great venue in Milwaukee, can't wait. Oh, Ben Schwartz and Friends, rejectedjokes.com backslash tour. We're starting a tour in January. We're gonna do one weekend a month to the end of the year. And then I don't know much, how much longer you're gonna be touring, so try to, I say it every year, but...

• 53:28Josh Horowitz?

  I find it so, you enjoy talking to them more than me. The camera is your friend.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know why? Because I feel like they're not rude, they're kind, they're supportive.

• 53:37Josh Horowitz?

  Right.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 53:39Josh Horowitz?

  Just for the record, you often say, "I'm hostile." Where do you think, I'm a mirror of you.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  That's true, you are.

• 53:45Josh Horowitz?

  I'm your shadow.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Oh, we did it! End it, end it, end it, end it, end it!

• 53:54Speaker 02

  And so ends another edition of Happy Sad Confused. Remember to review, rate, and subscribe to this show on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm a big podcast person. I'm Daisy Ridley, and I definitely wasn't pressured to do this by Josh.

• 54:14Speaker 05

  Hey, it's Hillary Frank, host of The Longest Shortest Time, a women's health podcast for everyone. And exciting news, I've got a new original audiobook. It's called Wedlocked, and it's a thriller about the pressure on women to smile through pain. There's marital strife, gaslighting, gynecology, and creepy music, which is running under me right now. If you like thrillers with a social message, like Get Out!, Promising Young Woman, then Wedlocked is for you. Get it now, wherever you buy audiobooks.