Wonkey Donkey Is BACK⚡️ Ant’s Spooky House & Dec's Kinky Boots

On this week’s episode, Ant’s channeling his inner podcaster, and has Dec finally found a new hobby?? Plus, the boys reveal the truth behind a rumoured secret passage beneath their homes, Dec’s been sleeping in kinky boots, and is Ant’s house haunted? The boys return with a round of the legendary Wonkey Donkey, along with a bunch of new games you can play in the car, including Gage The Age and Would You Rather. Keep your correspondence coming at [email protected]. Sign off your email with the name you'd like us to use. If you'd rather we didn't mention your surname, simply leave it out. And if you'd like a full name shout out, throw the whole thing in there! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:01Speaker 02

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• 1:30Ant McPartlin?

  Coming up on the show, we find out what Dec gets up to in his kinky boots. He put boots on to go to bed?

• 1:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Is Aunt's son psychic?

• 1:40Ant McPartlin?

  And we all got like shivers. We're like, what? We give you some games to play in the car? Woo, woo, woo, woo.

• 1:48Declan Donnelly?

  That noise means?

• 1:50Ant McPartlin?

  One of you is spot on.

• 1:52Declan Donnelly?

  We let the hecklers loose to ask us anything.

• 1:55Ant McPartlin?

  There's been zero secret passages in our...

• 1:58Declan Donnelly?

  In our relationship.

• 1:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Plus more postbag and grumbles from you. Enjoy the show.

• 2:12Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, everybody. Hey. Oh, God, I've missed me chair. Hello, everyone.

• 2:18Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, everybody. Welcome once again to Hanging Out with me, Aunt McPartlin, and him, Declan Joseph O'Donoghue.

• 2:26Declan Donnelly?

  I got my full name. What a lovely, lovely day outside.

• 2:29Ant McPartlin?

  It's nice, isn't it?

• 2:30Declan Donnelly?

  The birds are singing, the sun is shining. What a day to be alive.

• 2:34Ant McPartlin?

  We've both gone short sleeves today.

• 2:36Declan Donnelly?

  We have.

• 2:37Ant McPartlin?

  You got your arms out on camera? It's nice to see. I've gone very Stephen Butler today.

• 2:43Declan Donnelly?

  You have, haven't you?

• 2:44Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I'd like to make this podcast really good. So I thought, if one of us has to dress like him.

• 2:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, right.

• 2:49Ant McPartlin?

  I've realised why he does it, though. Because this is no continuity.

• 2:53Declan Donnelly?

  Well, and he doesn't have to think about anything, does he, as well? Just like...

• 2:55Ant McPartlin?

  That's it. Do you know, I am quite serious today. Last night, something quite spooky happened in my house.

• 3:02Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 3:03Ant McPartlin?

  So at dinner, so having dinner, so we eat at five o'clock, so we're gonna eat with Wilder.

• 3:09Declan Donnelly?

  On the dot.

• 3:11Ant McPartlin?

  On the dot, by the way.

• 3:12Declan Donnelly?

  A big dong goes.

• 3:13Ant McPartlin?

  Bong.

• 3:13Declan Donnelly?

  His servant goes, bong.

• 3:15Ant McPartlin?

  Five o'clock. So we all try and eat with Wilder. And I was a bit late coming in and Poppy, my daughter, had started eating with him. And she went, um, big news. I went, what? She went, Wilder can see ghosts.

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's not what you want to hear.

• 3:32Ant McPartlin?

  I said, what? She was like, he can see ghosts? I went, I said, Poppy, he's got no concept of what a ghost is. So he certainly caught, he said, and she went, watch. Wilder, what's over there? And he went, and he pointed behind my head and went, ghost.

• 3:51Ant McPartlin?

  Ghost, like this. And we all got like shivers. We're like, what? And they all looked behind us. Obviously, there was nothing there, just the door. And then, ghost. And she's laughing. I said, it's not funny.

• 4:03Declan Donnelly?

  This is not a laugh of mine.

• 4:04Ant McPartlin?

  This is not funny at all. She thinks it's hilarious.

• 4:06Declan Donnelly?

  Supernatural.

• 4:07Ant McPartlin?

  So we're like, stop this. I mean, it's pretty close. Well, I said, it doesn't sound like you're saying the word ghost. And she said, well, of course it doesn't, because you can't say any word properly, other than mum and daddy.

• 4:17Declan Donnelly?

  Very true.

• 4:18Ant McPartlin?

  At that age, everything's got a little bit curbed at the edges. So then it was kind of left in the air that Wilder can see ghosts. Then this morning, at breakfast, he went like this, just me and him, over my shoulder, he goes, ghost.

• 4:36Ant McPartlin?

  So I slowly turned around, over my shoulder. I've worked out what it is. The door is slightly open and he wants it closed. That's what he was saying. He can't see ghosts. He can't see dead people.

• 4:52Declan Donnelly?

  He just sees open doors.

• 4:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah. And he would like it shut because it was blowing cold air in his face when he's trying to eat his Cheerios.

• 4:58Declan Donnelly?

  Unless the ghost walked through the door.

• 5:02Speaker 05

  What's the cold air?

• 5:03Ant McPartlin?

  I didn't pick it up. Anyway.

• 5:06Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, I think we've got some games lined up today, haven't we?

• 5:08Speaker 05

  We have lots of games. We've got loads of car games, but I thought maybe...

• 5:12Declan Donnelly?

  Well, a lot of people will be in cars at the moment, driving to holidays.

• 5:16Speaker 05

  They will be. But before, I thought, could maybe us hecklers ask you a question?

• 5:21Ant McPartlin?

  Ask us a question?

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, because we get so many letters from the listeners that get to ask you questions, but we never get to ask you questions.

• 5:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, you can ask us questions. Who would like to go first?

• 5:31Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, God.

• 5:32Speaker 05

  Um, so you know, you used to live next door to each other? I heard a rumour that you had a secret passage to get through to each other's house. I'm just wondering if that was true. And if it's not, can you tell me a different secret?

• 5:47Declan Donnelly?

  No, we didn't have a secret passage. There was two houses in between us. So there was a house next door to me and a house next door to Aunt. Our gardens, yeah, there was two gardens.

• 5:56Speaker 05

  You didn't have a tunnel?

• 5:57Declan Donnelly?

  Did not have a tunnel.

• 5:58Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 5:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, we didn't. There were three houses in between us. When we moved houses, we still didn't have a secret passage then.

• 6:04Ant McPartlin?

  There's been zero secret passages in our...

• 6:07Declan Donnelly?

  In our relationship.

• 6:12Speaker 05

  Okay, thanks for clearing that up.

• 6:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you're welcome. And do you want us to tell you a secret?

• 6:16Speaker 05

  I wanted to see, yeah.

• 6:17Declan Donnelly?

  I'm trying to think of one. Is there any secrets to when we did live next door to each other? Well, two doors away from each other.

• 6:23Ant McPartlin?

  That used to do homebrew in his garage. That used to make homemade beer in his garage.

• 6:29Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he's really good at it. It was called Dec's Brew. So you know, we're always talking about finding a hobby for Dec?

• 6:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:36Ant McPartlin?

  I think it should be, it should be homebrew. Mind you, if it's alcoholic, I can't try it.

• 6:40Declan Donnelly?

  You can't try it?

• 6:41Ant McPartlin?

  Kombucha.

• 6:42Declan Donnelly?

  Kombucha?

• 6:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, kombucha.

• 6:43Declan Donnelly?

  Sounds complicated, that, doesn't it?

• 6:45Ant McPartlin?

  Just fermenting it, just pickles and stuff. Or if you're gonna have a hobby, then you want to get some enjoyment out of it. So make yourself some homebrew.

• 6:52Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I try it?

• 6:53Ant McPartlin?

  You'll enjoy it.

• 6:54Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I try it?

• 6:54Ant McPartlin?

  And then you can bring it in for the hecklers to try.

• 6:57Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I do that?

• 6:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:58Declan Donnelly?

  All right. I'll look into that. I'll make some homebrew.

• 7:00Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no, no, no. Don't look into it. That's his way of just biffing you off by going, I'll look into it. Which means in the car on the way home from here, he will Google it, go, nah, that seems like a fact.

• 7:10Declan Donnelly?

  It's complicated. That's just kicking the beer can down the road, that is. Hand in the air. Is that a question?

• 7:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, I just want to know what is your bedtime?

• 7:19Declan Donnelly?

  Routine?

• 7:20Ant McPartlin?

  What is your bedtime?

• 7:21Declan Donnelly?

  Or time routine? All of it?

• 7:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:23Declan Donnelly?

  I have a pretty routine bedtime. Routine, routine. When I'm in a routine, I have a pretty good routine.

• 7:29Ant McPartlin?

  Go on.

• 7:29Declan Donnelly?

  Go about maybe nine o'clock. We'll go up to the bedroom.

• 7:38Declan Donnelly?

  Put the TV on.

• 7:39Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 7:40Declan Donnelly?

  Sometimes I have a little shower before bed. I like to have a shower, getting into clean sheets. Phone's off. Well, not off, but like silent. Do not disturb. Do not disturb. Put them on the bedside table.

• 7:51Ant McPartlin?

  All ready for.

• 7:58Ant McPartlin?

  He's not saying no, is he?

• 8:00Declan Donnelly?

  I've got these boots. I've got boots.

• 8:02Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 8:02Speaker 05

  Sorry, that's a good secret.

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  You put boots on to go to bed?

• 8:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 8:07Ant McPartlin?

  Nighttime boots?

• 8:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's supposed to make me taller. No, no, no. I've got these compression boots that I put on, put legs on, and they go right up to, right up to there.

• 8:16Ant McPartlin?

  Sexy.

• 8:17Declan Donnelly?

  And you press a button and they go, it's like having your blood pressure taken. It's for like lymphatic system.

• 8:23Ant McPartlin?

  This is a very good topic for Stephen Butler, this.

• 8:25Declan Donnelly?

  It is, yeah.

• 8:25Ant McPartlin?

  It talks, it talks, we come.

• 8:26Declan Donnelly?

  It's good for the lymphatic system. It pushes your blood around your system.

• 8:30Ant McPartlin?

  And how, how much longer could you live?

• 8:33Declan Donnelly?

  I think it extends your life for about 10 years.

• 8:35Ant McPartlin?

  10 years.

• 8:35Declan Donnelly?

  Full 10 years. Sometimes the boots get incredibly difficult. They get quite tight.

• 8:41Ant McPartlin?

  I know you turned on by this boot.

• 8:44Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think he ever asks that question, does he?

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  He doesn't really. It's just me. I'm just intrigued.

• 8:49Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I'll have a little boot session, maybe. We watch TV. Mrs D does her bit.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 8:54Declan Donnelly?

  She does whatever she does, her little beauty routine.

• 8:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 8:57Declan Donnelly?

  There's all sorts of creams going on. She lies on, um...

• 9:01Ant McPartlin?

  Wow.

• 9:01Declan Donnelly?

  She lies on one of these bed of nails. She lies on a bed of nails.

• 9:05Ant McPartlin?

  I've got one of them.

• 9:06Declan Donnelly?

  Like a mat with...

• 9:07Ant McPartlin?

  Plastic little, they look like what you used to have on the bottom of golf shoes.

• 9:11Declan Donnelly?

  And she lies on that. It's like an acupuncture thing. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts me. I can't do it. So I just put my legs on.

• 9:18Ant McPartlin?

  I didn't expect any of this. I expected like I might have a bowl of cereal and go to bed. I'm expecting this.

• 9:24Declan Donnelly?

  That's after I've just, sometimes I'll take up a sleepytime tea. I have a little sleepy tea, the one with the teddy bear on the front in his pyjamas. I take one of them up and we'll relax with maybe a 24 hours in police custody.

• 9:37Declan Donnelly?

  Something nice and chill before bed.

• 9:38Ant McPartlin?

  Do you talk to each other at all?

• 9:40Declan Donnelly?

  Little bit.

• 9:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, little bit, okay. This is me boots.

• 9:44Declan Donnelly?

  Is that spiky, isn't it?

• 9:47Ant McPartlin?

  Definitely doesn't hurt.

• 9:49Declan Donnelly?

  What about you?

• 9:50Ant McPartlin?

  If me girls are back, like if they're back from uni and friends and all that with them, we'll try and, well, I say we try and watch something together, but there's arguments about what to watch because everyone's wanting to watch different things. I tend to walk the dogs in the evening, which I like. And then, yeah, we don't really have a routine. I would say we're in bed by 10 and we'll always watch a drama or something by 10. There's no kinky boots, there's no spiky pillows, there's just a good, a good box set, good box set and cuddles.

• 10:19Declan Donnelly?

  Good, that's nice. Sexy and nice.

• 10:20Ant McPartlin?

  Sexy is sexy and nice.

• 10:22Declan Donnelly?

  Sexy and nice.

• 10:24Ant McPartlin?

  Stop it in here, you know.

• 10:27Declan Donnelly?

  The other cars in there?

• 10:28Ant McPartlin?

  One of these.

• 10:29Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 10:30Ant McPartlin?

  What is this? Grumbles, grumbles to do.

• 10:32Declan Donnelly?

  Grumbles to do, we did that in the first show.

• 10:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, we just never did that feature ever again.

• 10:38Declan Donnelly?

  No, we didn't, did we? We had too much other stuff, so we never went back. We, we called it, let's get ready to grumble.

• 10:42Ant McPartlin?

  And we've never done it again.

• 10:43Declan Donnelly?

  We've never done it again.

• 10:44Ant McPartlin?

  Should we do it again now?

• 10:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 10:45Ant McPartlin?

  Shall I read it now?

• 10:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:46Ant McPartlin?

  Or they, will they, will they stand the test of time? Sorry, we haven't got back to you. Well, I'll read them out. And Dec, I'm catching up on your podcast, which I'm loving.

• 10:55Declan Donnelly?

  We're catching up on your letters.

• 10:57Ant McPartlin?

  And wanted to share my grumble. Know it alls.

• 11:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 11:01Ant McPartlin?

  Recently, I've had to stop watching The Chase because I cannot stand Bradley Walsh. I feel like he knew the answer to the question when he clearly has the answer in front of him. It's gotta be. I'd love to see him up there with the beast to see how well he does that time. Ran over. Beth.

• 11:19Declan Donnelly?

  I thought she was gonna say, I hate the, the Chasers because they know it all because they're so brainy, but I suppose that's their job. But I never, I didn't see the Bradley thing coming.

• 11:27Ant McPartlin?

  I didn't see the Bradley thing coming. I'm gonna watch more closely from now on. Maybe he does do it, but maybe he's a little bit.

• 11:33Declan Donnelly?

  Is he a bit know it all? Has Bradley ever played The Chase? He should do that for charity or something.

• 11:37Ant McPartlin?

  Who would host it though?

• 11:38Declan Donnelly?

  Me?

• 11:40Ant McPartlin?

  Smug face, just saying.

• 11:43Declan Donnelly?

  Smug face, know it all.

• 11:44Ant McPartlin?

  He's smug face, know it all. I've got another grumble here. My grumble is when I'm stood at a crossing, having pressed the button, and someone comes along and presses the button. Wind me up, man. Because they're assuming I'm so stupid that I haven't thought to press the button and I'm just stood there for it magically to change. All they think, they're just so important that the electrical time, this traffic light system will be like, quick, change, we need to let this one through.

• 12:13Declan Donnelly?

  Who's that from?

• 12:14Ant McPartlin?

  That is from Josh. Josh, that is a very good grumble. I don't know why you've left these in there for so long. These are really good. We should do this more often.

• 12:21Declan Donnelly?

  This is podcast gold.

• 12:22Ant McPartlin?

  Let's get rid of the grumble. This is podcast gold. He's just said it's gold.

• 12:26Declan Donnelly?

  I think that is a great grumble. However, I do do that.

• 12:29Ant McPartlin?

  What, you press after someone's pressed?

• 12:31Declan Donnelly?

  Even when it's lit up, you know, the big weight is lit up, I still press again.

• 12:34Ant McPartlin?

  So when someone's waiting at a lift and the button is clearly pressed, it's red, do you press it again?

• 12:40Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 12:41Ant McPartlin?

  Why, why would that differ then?

• 12:42Declan Donnelly?

  Because I get the feeling when you go to traffic lights, that if it's lit up, uh, and you press it again, I think it hurries it up.

• 12:50Ant McPartlin?

  It doesn't.

• 12:51Declan Donnelly?

  I think it does.

• 12:52Ant McPartlin?

  It doesn't.

• 12:53Declan Donnelly?

  But a lift, I don't believe that me pressing the lift. The lift is somewhere.

• 12:56Ant McPartlin?

  It's the same thing.

• 12:57Declan Donnelly?

  It's not.

• 12:57Ant McPartlin?

  Whether it's a lift or it's a traffic light system.

• 12:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, no, because the lift.

• 13:00Ant McPartlin?

  If you press the button and it's lit up, it's the same thing. It's not gonna come quicker.

• 13:03Declan Donnelly?

  It's not.

• 13:04Ant McPartlin?

  It is.

• 13:04Declan Donnelly?

  Because the lift is on the, like, the fifth floor. The lift is physically somewhere else.

• 13:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 13:09Declan Donnelly?

  The traffic lights, it's, you're not waiting for somebody to come along, you're waiting for the traffic light to go, all right, I change now. But if I press it again, you go, oh, sorry, I've forgotten about you guys. I'll, I might change the lights. So I think it's just a little reminder to press on the traffic light. So I do do that.

• 13:26Ant McPartlin?

  What are you saying? Do you agree with them or not?

• 13:29Declan Donnelly?

  I agree with it. It made me titter, but I do do it.

• 13:34Ant McPartlin?

  So basically you wind up Josh.

• 13:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 13:37Ant McPartlin?

  You cool with that?

• 13:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 13:38Ant McPartlin?

  All right.

• 13:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Ant McPartlin?

  Last one. If there's more, we'll do this again. Send us in your grumbles and we'll do it again because this has turned out to be a really good item.

• 13:46Declan Donnelly?

  Any grumbles or moan, send them in to us and we'll read out the best moan. And maybe we can give you so much for the best moan, like good, good moans, good morning.

• 13:54Ant McPartlin?

  Final grumble. And Dec, my grumble of the week is people that get in the way by any means necessary in the supermarket.

• 14:02Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 14:03Ant McPartlin?

  Whether it's choosing this strange location for their weekly catch-up, in the middle of the aisle, dumping their trolley across the aisle from where they want to look, or taking forever to decide which yogurt has the lowest percent of fat. All the while, I'm trying to get my own shopping done and break my own record for the shortest amount of time I can be in a supermarket for the weekly shop. The worst part of it all, if they are blocking me in in any way, I'm always the one that feels that I need to apologize and say sorry for their own incompetence.

• 14:33Declan Donnelly?

  Passive aggressive?

• 14:34Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry, can I just get past your trolley? Or sorry, can I just grab that? Why am I the one apologizing? I love the podcast from Curtis, Charlotte, Jessica and Teagan. Although Jessica and Teagan are four and two, so I don't think they're really part of this grumble.

• 14:47Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think so.

• 14:48Ant McPartlin?

  They're just along for the ride.

• 14:48Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys.

• 14:49Ant McPartlin?

  You can't leave them in the house. I think that's just part of supermarket shopping. Yeah, I get it. It's irritating.

• 14:56Declan Donnelly?

  I'm with you.

• 14:57Ant McPartlin?

  It is what it is.

• 14:58Declan Donnelly?

  No, I'm with you. I think it is very much. I think.

• 15:01Ant McPartlin?

  You gotta let it go.

• 15:01Declan Donnelly?

  Here's my thing. If I was in charge of a supermarket chain, I would instigate white lines.

• 15:09Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 15:09Declan Donnelly?

  In the supermarkets. I would do it like, keep left, just keep, it's like, run it like a, a small town. And you have roads, a road system, give way at the end.

• 15:18Ant McPartlin?

  Run it like a small town.

• 15:19Declan Donnelly?

  That's what I would do.

• 15:20Ant McPartlin?

  And I'm the mayor.

• 15:21Declan Donnelly?

  If you, with a trolley, you've got to keep left in the aisle.

• 15:25Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, for God's sake.

• 15:26Declan Donnelly?

  You pull in, you go over, and if you need something over the other side, you go over, get that, come over to your trolley, but you've got to keep going. Like they do in the car park outside. You know, and you've got little lanes and stuff, you've got, I would do that in the supermarket. Give way at the end, keep left, overtake if you need to.

• 15:42Ant McPartlin?

  Or if someone is parked there, just say, sorry, do you mind if I just?

• 15:46Declan Donnelly?

  But, but that's what they're doing, that's what.

• 15:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but they're doing it like you're saying, a passive aggressive way.

• 15:50Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry, are you looking there? Sorry, sorry.

• 15:52Ant McPartlin?

  So you're having that? You're like that?

• 15:54Declan Donnelly?

  I'm having that. I think that's a good moan.

• 15:55Ant McPartlin?

  It should be a bit of a free for all. And.

• 15:57Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, a free for all.

• 15:58Ant McPartlin?

  Don't get me started on self-serve shack house.

• 16:01Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 16:06Declan Donnelly?

  That's for another day, that one.

• 16:07Ant McPartlin?

  For another day.

• 16:08Declan Donnelly?

  If you've got any brilliant moans, get them in to us. Hang out at beltabox.com, we'll read them out.

• 16:14Ant McPartlin?

  And we will have prizes, won't we?

• 16:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:17Declan Donnelly?

  We'll, we'll choose the best moan of the week. We'll choose somebody who's done some good morning and we'll send you something, a prize.

• 16:26Ant McPartlin?

  This next section is brought to you by Northern Door Co. Now, there's nothing better, is there? Than getting the whole family together to have a pizza party.

• 16:36Declan Donnelly?

  Well, if there is anything better than that, I don't want to know about it.

• 16:39Ant McPartlin?

  Everyone can just create their own pizzas.

• 16:41Declan Donnelly?

  There's no more arguments about whether everybody wants mushrooms, whether pineapple belongs on a pizza or not. No more arguments, you can do whatever you want. But everybody knows that great pizza starts with great pizza dough. And that's where the Northern Door Co. have got you covered.

• 16:56Ant McPartlin?

  So next time you're having a pizza party with our amazing Northern Door Co. pizza dough, you can thank us.

• 17:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. If you spill it down your front, that's nothing to do with us, that is all on you.

• 17:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's entirely up to you.

• 17:09Declan Donnelly?

  Head to northerndoorco.com to check out the full range of products and where you can get your hands on them.

• 17:18Speaker 06

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• 17:48Speaker 02

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• 18:18Ant McPartlin?

  So a lot of you will be in a car listening to this because you're on your holders now.

• 18:22Declan Donnelly?

  A lot of people in cars all over the summer, yeah, driving to holidays. We used to spend a lot of time in cars.

• 18:27Ant McPartlin?

  We did.

• 18:27Declan Donnelly?

  We came up with quite a few games, didn't we, to keep ourselves occupied in the car? So we've got some suggestions for you for, for games, if you like. Hang on, I've just gotta pull this down first.

• 18:38Ant McPartlin?

  Let me just give you the, the sense that we're in a car. Has it stuck? There we go. Car refreshed up. That makes it more legit now, doesn't it? Ah, smell that new car scent. Mmm, lovely. Can you smell it? Does it smell like in your car? Does it?

• 18:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, I like that smell.

• 18:59Declan Donnelly?

  Nice. There we go. So we're in the car.

• 19:02Ant McPartlin?

  Um, oh, we've got car sweets in our drawers.

• 19:06Declan Donnelly?

  Classic boiled sweets in a, in a gold tin.

• 19:09Ant McPartlin?

  Do I need the hat?

• 19:11Declan Donnelly?

  That was from an old episode.

• 19:12Speaker 05

  There's berries in there as well.

• 19:14Declan Donnelly?

  Do you fancy a mixed fruit drop or a creamy butterscotch drop?

• 19:18Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, mixed fruit, please. A lot of you will be too young to remember these sweets. But before you could buy any kind of sweet from a petrol station, these boiled sweets were...

• 19:29Declan Donnelly?

  They always seemed to be in the glove box.

• 19:30Ant McPartlin?

  Always seemed to be in the glove box and they'd always have a slight powder around them. A bit like the powder you get around a jelly baby. Ah, I'm popping one in now. I think that's blackcurrant. They're good.

• 19:40Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we play our favourite game that we used to play in the car all the time? We used to play a game called Gauge the Age where we... Oh, there's a plane coming in. Hang on a minute.

• 19:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, thank you. So, Gauge the Age, right? So basically, we used to play, used to get the birthdays.

• 19:59Declan Donnelly?

  In the paper.

• 20:00Ant McPartlin?

  Every day. So I used to play a game between Deck and our driver Joe. It's where I would say, it's somebody's birthday today, famous person, but how old are they? So they would say how old they are and then you would work out how out you were. And the person who was the least out over however many rounds you're going to play is the winner. That easy to follow, right? Oh, good.

• 20:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's easier to play than it is to understand. So shall I play against Heckler's Corner?

• 20:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Do you want to play?

• 20:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:28Ant McPartlin?

  It's good. You have to remember the age that you picked and how out you are as we play more birthdays.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  I'm getting a little bit of paper.

• 20:35Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, yeah, there you go. This one used to be like, he's always used to write it down, just in case he cheated. So today is August the 6th. So don't Google any ages if you're listening to this. Just play along at home if you can. And it's a very happy birthday to Robin van Persie.

• 20:55Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 20:56Ant McPartlin?

  The former Arsenal and Man United striker, Dutch international footballer. How old is Robin van Persie today? And we'll start with you, Heckler's Corner.

• 21:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, mid-naughties. So like, he's in 40s, 46? 48.

• 21:14Speaker 07

  41, actually.

• 21:16Speaker 05

  We're not... Let's go 40. I reckon younger. What do you think? 45? 43.

• 21:23Ant McPartlin?

  43. Declan?

• 21:25Declan Donnelly?

  I'm going 40, 46.

• 21:30Ant McPartlin?

  So you say 46, you say 43. Woo, woo, woo, woo!

• 21:34Declan Donnelly?

  That noise means...

• 21:36Ant McPartlin?

  One of you is spot on. But is it Deck or is it Heckler's Corner? On his birthday cake today, there are 43 candles.

• 21:49Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 21:50Ant McPartlin?

  Meaning Heckler's Corner is spot on. Well done, Heckler's Corner. So...

• 21:54Declan Donnelly?

  So I'm three out?

• 21:55Ant McPartlin?

  Three out.

• 21:56Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 21:56Ant McPartlin?

  And Heckler's Corner, because they've got to bang on.

• 21:59Declan Donnelly?

  Three plays zero.

• 22:00Ant McPartlin?

  So well done. You're in the lead at the minute. Next. Fern McCann.

• 22:06Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 22:06Ant McPartlin?

  Of, of Towie fame and I'm a Celebrity fame. She came third in 2015 on I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here. Fern McCann. Deck, we'll start with you now because we started with Heckler's Corner last time. How old is Fern McCann?

• 22:19Declan Donnelly?

  34.

• 22:20Ant McPartlin?

  Straight out of the traps. 34.

• 22:22Speaker 07

  I think she's the same age as my brother and I think he's 35 or 36.

• 22:27Ant McPartlin?

  Well, hold on. You must know how old your brother is.

• 22:29Speaker 07

  I think she's about the same age and he's 35, I think.

• 22:33Declan Donnelly?

  So 34 for me, 35 for Heckler's Corner.

• 22:36Ant McPartlin?

  34, 35. Ah, there's no noise.

• 22:39Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 22:40Ant McPartlin?

  Neither of you are spot on. Fern McCann today is celebrating her 36th birthday. Close, Hecklers. One out and Deck is two out.

• 22:52Declan Donnelly?

  So five plays one.

• 22:53Ant McPartlin?

  Still all to play for, still all to play for. The late, great Barbara Windsor would have turned what age today? She was Peggy Mitchell in EastEnders, she was in the Carry On films.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Give us some of the impression.

• 23:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'm a pub. Is that good? Yeah, you know what I mean now, don't you?

• 23:11Declan Donnelly?

  Didn't realise she was a Geordie.

• 23:12Ant McPartlin?

  But if she were still alive today, how old would she have been?

• 23:19Ant McPartlin?

  Hecklers.

• 23:20Speaker 07

  I have no idea. 92. Yeah, she was quite old.

• 23:23Speaker 05

  So 92. 96.

• 23:25Ant McPartlin?

  92.

• 23:26Declan Donnelly?

  I will go 90.

• 23:28Ant McPartlin?

  She would have been, if she were still with us, 89 today. So one out for Deck, three out for Heckler's Corner.

• 23:39Declan Donnelly?

  Six plays four.

• 23:41Ant McPartlin?

  It's getting closer, isn't it?

• 23:42Declan Donnelly?

  It's good, isn't it?

• 23:43Ant McPartlin?

  Good game, isn't it? Say you can pass many of our... Our next person is also deceased, very famous though, famous for 15 minutes. Famous artist, famous for...

• 23:56Declan Donnelly?

  Tricky.

• 23:56Ant McPartlin?

  The soup cans. How old would Andy Warhol be today if he were still alive? Uh, Deck, you're to go first.

• 24:05Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, God. 99.

• 24:08Speaker 07

  I have no idea. Let's go 91.

• 24:11Ant McPartlin?

  91?

• 24:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 24:12Ant McPartlin?

  Plays 99. Oh, that's quite a swing, that.

• 24:15Declan Donnelly?

  There is. It's big.

• 24:16Ant McPartlin?

  That's quite a swing.

• 24:16Declan Donnelly?

  That is big.

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  If you get this right, you can be right back in it.

• 24:20Declan Donnelly?

  Absolutely.

• 24:20Ant McPartlin?

  But if you get this right, you've extended your lead. Andy Warhol, the famous artist, would have been 98.

• 24:30Declan Donnelly?

  Ah!

• 24:32Ant McPartlin?

  Have you heard that wallop? Fiona banged her head off the wall in disgust.

• 24:37Declan Donnelly?

  She threw herself bang, banged her head off the wall.

• 24:39Ant McPartlin?

  That's how compelling this game is. Seven out.

• 24:41Declan Donnelly?

  Seven out.

• 24:43Ant McPartlin?

  And you said 99, did you?

• 24:45Declan Donnelly?

  I said 99, so I was one out.

• 24:47Ant McPartlin?

  So what's the score so far?

• 24:48Declan Donnelly?

  The scores are Heckler's Corner on 11 and Deck has taken the lead on 7. Ha ha! This is where I go off into the sunset.

• 24:57Ant McPartlin?

  Right, final one. And it's not a famous person's age, but it is the age of something. The World Wide Web.

• 25:08Ant McPartlin?

  How many years ago was the World Wide Web project website launched? So in effect, the World Wide Web was launched.

• 25:18Declan Donnelly?

  So the first website?

• 25:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 25:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:21Speaker 05

  It's 1992.

• 25:23Declan Donnelly?

  20 years.

• 25:25Ant McPartlin?

  32 years ago.

• 25:27Declan Donnelly?

  Is, so that's 19, was that 1994?

• 25:30Ant McPartlin?

  Declan?

• 25:31Declan Donnelly?

  I will say, I think it's actually in the 1980s, 42 years ago.

• 25:36Ant McPartlin?

  10 years, Ring, guys. This is a 10...

• 25:38Declan Donnelly?

  This is going to decide the game. Just a reminder of the scores at this point. Seven to me, 11 to Heckler's Corner.

• 25:45Ant McPartlin?

  The World Wide Web, the first website that contained information about the World Wide Web project, was launched in 1991. 35 years ago. Draw! It's a draw!

• 26:05Declan Donnelly?

  So that brings the scores to 14 to me and 14 to Heckler's Corner. Tiebreaker.

• 26:11Ant McPartlin?

  Tiebreaker.

• 26:12Declan Donnelly?

  What a thrilling end.

• 26:14Ant McPartlin?

  I hope you're all enjoying playing this at home or in the car. Mars Curiosity Rover landed on the surface of Mars how many years ago?

• 26:25Declan Donnelly?

  What, do you want a year or how many years ago?

• 26:26Ant McPartlin?

  How many years ago? So it's like, it's an age, isn't it? So...

• 26:30Declan Donnelly?

  Right, okay.

• 26:30Ant McPartlin?

  How many years ago?

• 26:32Declan Donnelly?

  I'm going to say it was...

• 26:36Declan Donnelly?

  Seven.

• 26:37Speaker 07

  11.

• 26:39Ant McPartlin?

  Seven, 11.

• 26:42Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you both give me an answer quite quickly, which means neither of you know this because you're just stabbing in the dark. A bit like the Mars Curiosity Rover, when it first landed on the surface of Mars in 2012. 14 years ago. Heckler's Corner are the winner!

• 27:02Declan Donnelly?

  Heckler's Corner!

• 27:06Ant McPartlin?

  That was it. Join us next time on Gauge the Age. Play the jingle. What do you mean we don't have a jingle? It's been gone for almost seven minutes.

• 27:17Speaker 05

  Um, do you know another really good car game?

• 27:20Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 27:20Speaker 05

  Would You Rather.

• 27:22Declan Donnelly?

  Would You Rather. That's good. Quite contentious though, at times, can't it be?

• 27:26Ant McPartlin?

  Would I rather what?

• 27:27Speaker 05

  Would you rather have one minute conversation with your past or your future self?

• 27:32Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, future. Future, definitely.

• 27:37Ant McPartlin?

  But in effect, either way is the future.

• 27:41Declan Donnelly?

  What? You're going to have to talk me through that.

• 27:44Ant McPartlin?

  Because if you're having a conversation with your previous former self, your, your, yourself from the past.

• 27:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 27:51Ant McPartlin?

  You're in the future.

• 27:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 27:53Ant McPartlin?

  So you're, is it best to, so either way, you're passing on information from the future.

• 27:57Declan Donnelly?

  But would the information you give to your past self influence where you are in the present?

• 28:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 28:05Declan Donnelly?

  Would it?

• 28:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it should do.

• 28:08Declan Donnelly?

  How?

• 28:10Ant McPartlin?

  Invest in Apple.

• 28:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, yeah, if, if you're giving yourself information.

• 28:17Declan Donnelly?

  In the past.

• 28:19Ant McPartlin?

  To the past.

• 28:20Declan Donnelly?

  To the past. Will it materially change where you are right now in the present?

• 28:24Ant McPartlin?

  Well...

• 28:25Declan Donnelly?

  Or has it just gone into the ether? But if you imagine, right, like, it's a one-minute phone call with your previous self and you say...

• 28:32Ant McPartlin?

  What's the weather like? What's the time there? Star, shut up! Shut up, man!

• 28:36Declan Donnelly?

  And you say, invest in Apple, invest Tesla, buy Bitcoin, good night.

• 28:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 28:42Declan Donnelly?

  And then you check your bank account and you check your things and you go, well, where is the, where is the investment?

• 28:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 28:48Declan Donnelly?

  Does it materially change where you are right now? Or you better go in, talking to your future self, and your future self says, forget all of that stuff. Bitcoin's a, a, a fad, it's, it's a bubble, it's going to burst. Where you really need to put your money is in boiled sweets. They're making a comeback.

• 29:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 29:07Declan Donnelly?

  And then you go and you invest in boiled sweets and in five years' time, you're a multi-billionaire.

• 29:12Ant McPartlin?

  It's quite a deep version of Would You Rather, this. Uh, go on, yeah.

• 29:16Speaker 05

  Would you rather run into an alien or Bigfoot?

• 29:19Declan Donnelly?

  Alien.

• 29:19Ant McPartlin?

  What are you going to learn from Bigfoot? Whereas hopefully from aliens, you can learn about life on other planets. What are you going to learn from Bigfoot? Just what it's like to live in between the trees?

• 29:29Speaker 05

  Southampton.

• 29:30Ant McPartlin?

  Southampton?

• 29:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's in, it's Winchester, wasn't it? The taxi driver in Winchester saw the Bigfoot. And also, you go like to the alien, should I invest in Apple or boiled sweets? My, a lot of my Would You Rathers are investment questions.

• 29:43Speaker 05

  Would you rather have spinach stuck in your teeth all day without knowing or toilet paper on your shoe without knowing?

• 29:49Declan Donnelly?

  Toilet paper on the shoe.

• 29:50Ant McPartlin?

  Toilet paper on the shoe, definitely.

• 29:51Declan Donnelly?

  Because that, that's just like, you've just stepped in, you could step in that toilet paper anywhere, but there's spinach in the shoe.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  Or toilet paper on your mouth.

• 30:05Declan Donnelly?

  Would you rather have spit in your shoe or toilet paper in your mouth? That's a good would you rather.

• 30:09Speaker 05

  What about being always underdressed or always overdressed?

• 30:14Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good question.

• 30:15Declan Donnelly?

  That is good.

• 30:16Ant McPartlin?

  I think I'd much rather be overdressed. You can style it off better than being underdressed.

• 30:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 30:25Ant McPartlin?

  Although you would be comfy underdressed, wouldn't you?

• 30:28Speaker 05

  So it's either you're turning up like to school to pick up your kids in the tarts. You could get or you're on the red carpet in like shorts and a t-shirt.

• 30:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 30:38Declan Donnelly?

  I once went to school overdressed. I went to school with a briefcase once.

• 30:42Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 30:43Declan Donnelly?

  I went to school with a briefcase once.

• 30:44Ant McPartlin?

  This is the Inbetweeners script. Briefcase wanker.

• 30:48Declan Donnelly?

  I was, I was a briefcase wanker for one day.

• 30:50Ant McPartlin?

  The original briefcase wanker.

• 30:51Declan Donnelly?

  For one day.

• 30:52Speaker 05

  Why?

• 30:53Declan Donnelly?

  Because it was in the house and I was like, that looks smart.

• 30:57Ant McPartlin?

  Did you do this?

• 30:58Declan Donnelly?

  I did, yeah.

• 30:59Ant McPartlin?

  All of the years we watched Inbetweeners, you'd never mentioned this.

• 31:03Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't find it funny.

• 31:05Ant McPartlin?

  Did anybody else? Did you get stick about it?

• 31:08Declan Donnelly?

  A little bit.

• 31:09Ant McPartlin?

  Just a little bit?

• 31:10Declan Donnelly?

  Just a little bit, not much.

• 31:11Ant McPartlin?

  I would have given you loads.

• 31:12Declan Donnelly?

  But I felt like the bees knees. I thought I was a real businessman.

• 31:15Ant McPartlin?

  Rocking up the history.

• 31:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 31:17Ant McPartlin?

  I'm a businessman.

• 31:18Speaker 05

  Was it like your first day or?

• 31:20Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, no.

• 31:22Speaker 05

  How old?

• 31:23Declan Donnelly?

  It was secondary school, so 12, 13, something like that. Because I'd had a chat with my future self and she thought I'd be investing.

• 31:32Declan Donnelly?

  Harry ball.

• 31:34Ant McPartlin?

  Would you rather every time you sneeze, you end up on the roof of your house?

• 31:42Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 31:42Ant McPartlin?

  Or every time you fart, you end up in the sea?

• 31:49Declan Donnelly?

  Sneeze on the roof of the house.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  Fart in the sea.

• 31:53Declan Donnelly?

  You fart in the sea?

• 31:56Declan Donnelly?

  No, you can't. That's bad for you. What? You can, you can stop a sneeze. You can stop a sneeze, you can't stop a fart.

• 32:01Ant McPartlin?

  Now, you can't really stop a sneeze though, can you?

• 32:03Declan Donnelly?

  You can.

• 32:03Ant McPartlin?

  You still go, still a sneeze.

• 32:05Speaker 05

  I fart on purpose to get me in the sea.

• 32:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my God.

• 32:09Speaker 05

  Have a little fart.

• 32:10Ant McPartlin?

  This meeting's so boring. Yay, I'm in the sea. Yeah.

• 32:14Declan Donnelly?

  What if it's like New Year's Day and it's freezing cold and you're like,

• 32:19Declan Donnelly?

  ah, God, it's cold.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  Would you rather be a contestant on I'm a Celebrity or Britain's Got Talent?

• 32:24Ant McPartlin?

  I'm a celebrity. Without a shadow of a doubt. No, I've got no talent. I've got no redeemable talent whatsoever.

• 32:30Declan Donnelly?

  I'd be on Britain's Got Talent. I'd do Britain's Got Talent. I'm a celebrity's hard work.

• 32:34Ant McPartlin?

  I couldn't cope with the other people in camp, but I think I would like sleeping outdoors and I would like to be in the elements and Australia.

• 32:42Declan Donnelly?

  I think you'd do well in it. You'd be top five.

• 32:46Ant McPartlin?

  Top five on that.

• 32:47Declan Donnelly?

  Top five, definitely.

• 32:48Ant McPartlin?

  I think you'd do all right in the auditions. You'd get four yeses from the judges. They wouldn't recall you back to the live show, but you know.

• 32:55Declan Donnelly?

  I'd just be one of those ones they forget about.

• 32:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 32:59Declan Donnelly?

  Just spotted a yellow car up there. Yellow car. Cheese on wheels.

• 33:02Ant McPartlin?

  Cheese on wheels.

• 33:03Declan Donnelly?

  Do you play that one? Cheese on wheels? When you spot, if you're in the car and you're driving along and you spot a yellow car, there are not that many of them. You spot a yellow car, you can shout, cheese on wheels. And you get the punch, um, the person's sitting next to you.

• 33:16Speaker 05

  Do you do any others? We did, I, we did like limo.

• 33:19Declan Donnelly?

  What? Just if you spot a limo?

• 33:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's more than just yellow car.

• 33:22Ant McPartlin?

  How often do you spot a limo?

• 33:24Speaker 05

  Well, not often.

• 33:24Declan Donnelly?

  We did red car. Sometimes you do Lightning McQueen. Cheese on wheels and Lightning McQueen.

• 33:29Ant McPartlin?

  So there you go. There's a few car games.

• 33:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Uh, let us know how you get on. And if you've got any car games that you think we should try here in the studio, let us know, hanging out at beltabox.com.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  We've had loads of people wanting to play Wonky Donkey.

• 33:43Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  You know, we played last time.

• 33:44Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 33:45Declan Donnelly?

  It was good though, wasn't it?

• 33:46Ant McPartlin?

  Shall we play it again?

• 33:48Speaker 05

  I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah. Yeah.

• 33:53Ant McPartlin?

  That was Luke walking to start with, then it got better in the end. All right, let's play it. Over to Ant and Dec in the corner over there.

• 33:58Declan Donnelly?

  Over to you, boys. Thanks, podcast Ant and Dec. Welcome along to what we hope will be another thrilling installment of Wonky Donkey.

• 34:16Ant McPartlin?

  Ooh, a little bit Brazilian there, I like that. It's good.

• 34:20Declan Donnelly?

  Likes a Brazilian. Um, so you know how this works by now. I've got a donkey here. He's got a leg missing. He's gone all wonky. He's a wonky donkey. You've got to tell us the animal and the situation it's found itself in. What's the situation? Just remember though, there is one rule, one golden rule. It's got to rhyme.

• 34:37Ant McPartlin?

  It's got to rhyme. Simple as that. That's it. We've got some callers on the line who are waiting to guess. You've got 10 seconds to guess. And that 10 seconds goes very, very quickly.

• 34:48Speaker 05

  If you're listening and want to play along with Wonky Donkey this week, the item is an insect with big wings, an emo fringe, heavy eye makeup and listens to metal and rock music.

• 35:01Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, on line one, we have Aaron in Bristol. Hello, Aaron.

• 35:08Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, Aaron in Bristol.

• 35:11Speaker 07

  Hello.

• 35:12Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, how are you?

• 35:15Speaker 07

  I'm very good, thank you. Very good.

• 35:17Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, right. I'm going to bring out the animal. You've got 10 seconds to guess. What's the golden rule then?

• 35:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's got to rhyme.

• 35:24Ant McPartlin?

  Aaron, good luck. Good luck, pal.

• 35:28Speaker 07

  Uh.

• 35:29Ant McPartlin?

  10 seconds starts now.

• 35:32Ant McPartlin?

  What is it?

• 35:33Speaker 07

  Uh, E, uh, that's what I've got.

• 35:39Ant McPartlin?

  Go on. Three seconds. Two.

• 35:42Declan Donnelly?

  Last time. Sorry, Aaron. Sorry.

• 35:47Ant McPartlin?

  That's pretty good.

• 35:52Ant McPartlin?

  Out with it, man. Spit it out. It was on the tip of your tongue, Aaron.

• 35:56Declan Donnelly?

  I think he had a hot chip in his mouth.

• 36:01Ant McPartlin?

  Next we're going to Newcastle. And Amy, hello, Amy.

• 36:04Speaker 07

  Hello, how are you?

• 36:06Ant McPartlin?

  Good thanks. How are you?

• 36:08Speaker 07

  I'm very excited.

• 36:09Ant McPartlin?

  Great. Enough of the pleasantries. You've got 10 seconds. Let's play Wonky Donkey. Watch this.

• 36:14Speaker 07

  Oh, um.

• 36:16Declan Donnelly?

  Come on, say something.

• 36:17Ant McPartlin?

  Have a look. Go on, have a look at the head.

• 36:19Declan Donnelly?

  Go on, three seconds.

• 36:20Ant McPartlin?

  The t-shirt.

• 36:20Declan Donnelly?

  Come on, have a guess. Say something.

• 36:22Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 36:23Declan Donnelly?

  He didn't even speak, man. Say something. Have a guess. Have a stab in the dark.

• 36:29Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, oh, oh, that's fallen over.

• 36:31Declan Donnelly?

  Didn't say anything. What a waste of everybody's time.

• 36:34Ant McPartlin?

  If you're going to come on the call, at least just have a guess. Don't worry about Dex shouting like you're forgetting it wrong or saying it's got to rhyme.

• 36:41Declan Donnelly?

  What a waste of a phone call.

• 36:43Ant McPartlin?

  He does that, he will whinge and he will moan. You've just got to put up with it and just keep guessing. Right, we're going to Worthing next. Uh, we're going to speak to Sam. Hello, Sam.

• 36:56Declan Donnelly?

  You're muted.

• 36:57Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, Sam.

• 36:58Declan Donnelly?

  It's a good start, isn't it?

• 37:00Ant McPartlin?

  How are you? Good, mate. Yeah, yeah, we can hear you. Can you hear us? Brilliant. Great. It's like talking to my mom on Zoom. Well done. Sam, you've got 10 seconds to guess this Wonky Donkey.

• 37:13Declan Donnelly?

  Time starts now.

• 37:16Ant McPartlin?

  Guess. Fever, metal.

• 37:18Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, come on.

• 37:19Ant McPartlin?

  Come on. Metal fever, no?

• 37:21Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 37:24Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's time off. Sorry, Sam.

• 37:28Ant McPartlin?

  Sometimes I think, do we make them too hard? It's not hard, is it?

• 37:31Declan Donnelly?

  It is hard this week. This is a hard one. It is a hard one.

• 37:33Ant McPartlin?

  But look, look at the animal. Look at the animal. Everybody else waiting on in the queue. Look at the animal. Or insect.

• 37:42Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's too much of a clue. Don't give them clues.

• 37:46Ant McPartlin?

  They don't deserve clues. Uh, Joanne in Bradford. Hello, Joanne. How are you doing?

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Hello, I'm good, thank you.

• 37:54Ant McPartlin?

  Good. Are you a big fan of Wonky Donkey, Joanne?

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Absolutely remember as a kid.

• 38:00Ant McPartlin?

  And did you used to get it right when you watched it on the telly?

• 38:03Speaker 02

  I'd call and watch.

• 38:07Declan Donnelly?

  You talk a big game, Joanne. You talk a big game.

• 38:10Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, Joanne, we're wasting valuable seconds here. Your time starts now. What's this?

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Uh, it's a, what is it? It's a bat. Um.

• 38:23Declan Donnelly?

  Three seconds. Go on.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  Ozzy, Ozzy.

• 38:28Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, God.

• 38:30Declan Donnelly?

  It's hard. It's hard, Joanne, isn't it?

• 38:33Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a bat.

• 38:34Declan Donnelly?

  It's not a bat.

• 38:35Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a bat. Look at that. I like the way he just keeps stroking his hair though. That looks very, oh, that's going to help. That's how, that's how it goes. Yeah.

• 38:42Declan Donnelly?

  Now you can see its eyes. Now you can see its eyes. Does that make it any easier?

• 38:45Ant McPartlin?

  And finally, we're going to go to Fiona in Wells Somerset. Hello, Fiona in Wells Somerset. How are you?

• 38:53Speaker 07

  Hello, I'm great, thank you.

• 38:55Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, nice to talk to you.

• 38:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we're good too. Thanks for asking.

• 39:00Ant McPartlin?

  It hasn't been going too well so far, so we're banking on you to get this right. Your 10 seconds starts now.

• 39:08Speaker 07

  Um, a punk skunk.

• 39:10Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 39:10Ant McPartlin?

  No?

• 39:11Declan Donnelly?

  Try again. What?

• 39:13Speaker 07

  Goth, Goth, Gothmaw.

• 39:22Ant McPartlin?

  A bounce, a bounce, it's winged off.

• 39:24Declan Donnelly?

  Oh no.

• 39:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh no. And, and the jumper fell off. Everything fell off. I'm so excited. Well done. Well done. How do you feel?

• 39:32Speaker 07

  Amazing. Amazing. Thank you.

• 39:35Declan Donnelly?

  That's amazing.

• 39:36Ant McPartlin?

  What does she win? A mug. You win a mug?

• 39:38Declan Donnelly?

  All that for a mug. Goodness me.

• 39:41Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry about that, but well done. You also, um, take away the pride of winning Wonky Donkey because not many people have won it.

• 39:47Declan Donnelly?

  And that was a tough one this week.

• 39:49Ant McPartlin?

  That was Gothmaw.

• 39:50Declan Donnelly?

  Well done, Fiona.

• 39:51Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Fiona.

• 39:52Declan Donnelly?

  Congratulations.

• 39:53Speaker 07

  Thanks, darling.

• 39:54Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks for playing Wonky Donkey.

• 40:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I do like Wonky Donkey.

• 40:10Ant McPartlin?

  I like Wonky Donkey. Good horse, too.

• 40:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, they were good. Very good looking.

• 40:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 40:14Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we do it again? Sometime? If you want to play Wonky Donkey, let us know. We'll do it again when we've got a particular hole to fill.

• 40:23Declan Donnelly?

  Let us know, [email protected].

• 40:27Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we have a little look at any letters in the postbag?

• 40:29Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, get it down.

• 40:30Declan Donnelly?

  Have we got that jingle?

• 40:31Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 40:31Declan Donnelly?

  We did. A shorter one. Let's get ready for the postbag. Yeah. Postbag, postbag, going through the lot. Postbag, postbag, show us what we've got. What's inside? What's inside? Still quite long. Postbag, postbag, postbag today.

• 40:49Ant McPartlin?

  Want to start?

• 40:50Declan Donnelly?

  Aye. Can do.

• 40:53Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Ant and Dec.

• 40:54Ant McPartlin?

  Hello.

• 40:55Declan Donnelly?

  And the Hanging Out team.

• 40:56Speaker 05

  Hi. Hey.

• 40:57Declan Donnelly?

  I'm listening from Winchester.

• 40:59Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes.

• 41:00Declan Donnelly?

  I've got a very important childhood confession. When my sister and I were younger and watching Saturday Night Takeaway, we became convinced that one week you would suddenly cut to a live camera feed of our living room during one of the surprise segments. The fear was so real that we'd cover anything remotely suspicious near the TV that could contain a hidden camera.

• 41:20Declan Donnelly?

  As an extra caution, we'd watch the show an hour later because we genuinely believed you were less likely to pick our house if we weren't watching it live. For years, we worried that you'd suddenly switch to our living room and find two children staring blankly at the screen in complete panic. Looking back, I'm not entirely sure why we thought Ant and Dec had installed secret surveillance equipment in our living room, but it felt like a very real possibility at the time. Thank you for keeping me company through all the ups and downs of university life. All the love and respect you both. Rosie.

• 41:49Ant McPartlin?

  That is a very good letter. Very good. And yeah, we could have come to your house.

• 41:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:53Ant McPartlin?

  We could have.

• 41:53Declan Donnelly?

  I think, in fact, Rosie, that does ring a bell because we did install secret cameras in your house.

• 41:59Ant McPartlin?

  Because you weren't watching live, we never cut you off.

• 42:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Thanks, Rosie. Glad you're enjoying the pod.

• 42:03Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, Ant and Dec and the team.

• 42:05Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 42:06Ant McPartlin?

  This weekend, I married the love of my life.

• 42:09Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 42:10Ant McPartlin?

  And as most couples do, we exchanged presents the morning of. As avid listeners to your podcast and adapters of the banana rating system, I, Millie, the bride, thought it would be funny to gift my future husband a banana rating.

• 42:26Declan Donnelly?

  Good.

• 42:27Ant McPartlin?

  Please see attached a photo of my now husband, Tom, wearing the shirt the morning after our wedding.

• 42:35Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my God, this is so good. So this is Tom with a white t-shirt and he's got eight bananas. And it says, would marry again. That's from the newlyweds, Millie and Tom. That's a really good banana in.

• 42:49Speaker 05

  On the subject of bananas, people sent in pictures of their telly. We had this one from Darren and he used a banana for scale. We also had this one from Laura.

• 42:58Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, that's a projector, isn't it? That's a screen. Projector screen.

• 43:01Speaker 05

  Helen wrote in and sent us this picture from Newcastle

• 43:06Speaker 05

  museum where they're measuring people in bananas.

• 43:08Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Is that the Life Museum in Newcastle?

• 43:10Speaker 05

  Yes. And then on ITV News, Sally Peterson did an article about the shortest yellow line in the UK and used a banana for scale.

• 43:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, we've made it.

• 43:20Speaker 05

  I thought it could be fun to maybe see if you can guess how big things are in bananas.

• 43:25Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 43:25Speaker 05

  A banana itself is, just for reference, a banana is seven inches. Can you guess how many bananas tall Ant is?

• 43:34Declan Donnelly?

  Twenty-nine.

• 43:36Speaker 05

  Nine point seven bananas.

• 43:38Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 43:40Ant McPartlin?

  Nine bananas. That would make me a giant.

• 43:45Ant McPartlin?

  Nine point seven, you said?

• 43:47Speaker 05

  For context, a double-decker bus is sixty-three.

• 43:52Declan Donnelly?

  My banana skills, wow.

• 43:54Ant McPartlin?

  Because Dec's very short, he's got no idea when it comes to other people's heights. He just thinks everyone's massive.

• 44:01Declan Donnelly?

  Turn it over.

• 44:02Speaker 05

  How tall do you think Dec is in bananas?

• 44:04Ant McPartlin?

  What was that? Nine points?

• 44:05Speaker 05

  Nine point seven.

• 44:06Ant McPartlin?

  So Dec is bang on nine bananas.

• 44:10Speaker 05

  Nine point four bananas.

• 44:11Declan Donnelly?

  Wow.

• 44:12Ant McPartlin?

  You're taller than bananas in your real life.

• 44:13Declan Donnelly?

  I am. I'm gonna keep that.

• 44:14Speaker 05

  What about the wingspan of the Angel of the North?

• 44:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's a lot.

• 44:18Declan Donnelly?

  Forty-five bananas.

• 44:19Ant McPartlin?

  A hundred and fifty bananas.

• 44:22Speaker 05

  Three hundred and three.

• 44:23Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, okay.

• 44:24Declan Donnelly?

  I can't get this. I don't understand this.

• 44:26Speaker 05

  You can maybe get this one.

• 44:27Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 44:28Speaker 05

  How many bananas tall are the bananas in pyjamas?

• 44:31Ant McPartlin?

  So they're taller than me. So they're about six foot. I'd say like fifteen bananas.

• 44:38Speaker 05

  They're just one big banana.

• 44:43Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, very good. Very good. Very good.

• 44:46Declan Donnelly?

  I can't, I can't quite get that. I don't understand it.

• 44:49Ant McPartlin?

  Measuring things.

• 44:51Declan Donnelly?

  Freaked my mind out. Is it time for another one from me? Hi, Dec team.

• 44:56Speaker 05

  Hi. Hey.

• 44:57Declan Donnelly?

  And Tony Big Mac sauce.

• 44:58Ant McPartlin?

  Shut up.

• 44:59Declan Donnelly?

  This is from Harry in Portsmouth. Recently, I got engaged. Way.

• 45:04Ant McPartlin?

  Congrats.

• 45:04Declan Donnelly?

  This meant having to keep the secret from my girlfriend for quite a while, which caused me quite a bit of stress. My question to you guys is, what is a time where you have had to keep a big secret which could have resulted in disaster if people found out? Respect, guys. Harry from Portsmouth.

• 45:19Ant McPartlin?

  That we're all lovers.

• 45:21Declan Donnelly?

  That's still a secret, Ant.

• 45:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, sorry.

• 45:23Declan Donnelly?

  We have to keep the secret every year of who's in the jungle.

• 45:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 45:27Declan Donnelly?

  We find out pretty early in the year. Well, not early, actually. We find out around summertime.

• 45:33Ant McPartlin?

  You've ruined it now.

• 45:34Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 45:35Ant McPartlin?

  You've ruined it.

• 45:35Declan Donnelly?

  Have I? Why? Why?

• 45:36Ant McPartlin?

  Because whenever people say to me, who's going in the jungle then? I go, oh, we don't know yet.

• 45:39Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, shoot.

• 45:40Ant McPartlin?

  So we only ever find out last minute. So you've ruined that now.

• 45:43Declan Donnelly?

  As we sit here today, we know who's going in this year.

• 45:46Ant McPartlin?

  Well, nearly. Nearly all of them.

• 45:48Declan Donnelly?

  You are gonna love it. Right up your street.

• 45:51Speaker 05

  Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber. How is that?

• 45:52Declan Donnelly?

  Can neither confirm nor deny.

• 45:55Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, both of them. Final letter. Hi, Ant and Dec. I feel like

• 46:00Declan Donnelly?

  Chicken tonight.

• 46:01Ant McPartlin?

  should be made aware of the Huamoa banana. See attached pic. Huamoa banana. What's a Huamoa?

• 46:09Declan Donnelly?

  Whoa.

• 46:11Ant McPartlin?

  Why is whoa?

• 46:11Declan Donnelly?

  No way. That is not real.

• 46:14Ant McPartlin?

  I feel like using this variety would add an extra element of difficulty for his next Guinness World Record attempt. I don't need more difficulty. Nothing else to add. Amy, age forty-five, well in Gordon City. Hate big beans. Cracked heel on left foot.

• 46:30Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks, Amy. Thanks for the info. Wow.

• 46:32Ant McPartlin?

  I'm glad that would last if you sent me one of them in the post, if you're out there. Would that last?

• 46:36Declan Donnelly?

  No, it'd get bruised, wouldn't it, on the way?

• 46:38Speaker 05

  It's a rare giant Polynesian heritage banana.

• 46:42Declan Donnelly?

  Huamoa. Huamoa banana.

• 46:45Ant McPartlin?

  Wonder what it tastes like. Wonder if it's sweet like a banana or starchy like a plant here.

• 46:50Declan Donnelly?

  And let us know more about the Huamoa banana.

• 46:52Ant McPartlin?

  That's it. That's it. That's all we've got time for.

• 46:55Declan Donnelly?

  That's all we've got time for. I enjoyed that.

• 46:56Ant McPartlin?

  I've been Stephen Boltless. He's been Declan Donnelly. Thank you for joining us on Hanging Out.

• 47:00Declan Donnelly?

  Remember to give us a follow wherever you get your podcasts or like and subscribe on Belle to Box YouTube channel.

• 47:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please do.

• 47:08Declan Donnelly?

  We'll be back on Monday with another bonus. Let us know about all of your games that you're playing in the summer. And we'll see you on Monday for the bonus.

• 47:15Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, let's get out of here.

• 47:16Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys.

• 47:17Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys.

• 47:18Declan Donnelly?

  See you later. Cheese on wheels.

• 47:20Ant McPartlin?

  What? Say that. Cheese on wheels.

• 47:38Speaker 01

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