An Eventful Trip To The Spa, Sydney Sweeney on Britain's Got Talent(?!) and Ant & Dec's Favourite Biscuits

It's time to get your ears in the hang out for this week's episode. What happened on Dec's trip to the spa? Has Ant been keeping to his spending ban? And what really happens on a final day for Britain's Got Talent? - oh and the boys give us an exclusive sneak peak of what suit they'll be wearing on Saturday night 👔👀 Dec's Diary is cringey as ever and, he may be reluctant, but it's time to swap Dec's designer trainers in another Famous Guy Swaps. If you'd like to get in touch with the show, you can contact us on [email protected] and sign off your email using the name you'd like us to use; if you don't want your surname mentioned, please don't add it, and it you'd like a full name shout out, throw it all in there! ----- 00.00 - Coming up 01.40 - Dec’s trip to the spa 11.35 - Ant’s spending ban update 14.50 - Dec’s piles update 19.30 - Britain’s Got Talent final - what happens behind the scenes 25.30 - Your guerrilla marketing! 26.45 - Famous Guy Swaps Things - Dec’s reluctant swap! 44.10 - Dec’s Diary 48.20 - What are Ant & Dec’s favourite biscuits? ----- Your personal data will be handled in accordance with applicable data protection laws and will only be retained for as long as is reasonably necessary for production, editorial, legal and compliance purposes. You can read more about our privacy policy at: https://www.mitrestudios.com/privacy-policy/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Streaming October 30 on Paramount Plus.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you. You're having a midlife crisis. I'm not ready for this.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 0:24Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection. New season October 30 on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3 at Whole Foods Market.

• 0:57Ant McPartlin?

  Coming up on the show, Dexter's spa day doesn't go as planned.

• 1:01Declan Donnelly?

  He goes, "Lie down, face down." Starts hitting me with branches. It's less of a spa day now. It's turned into a hostage situation.

• 1:07Ant McPartlin?

  Ha ha ha ha!

• 1:08Declan Donnelly?

  We have a shocking swap that no one saw coming.

• 1:12Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, this is not in the rules. This is not a roll up and it's not a swap. It's messing with me mind. Dexter, he cringes me out again.

• 1:20Declan Donnelly?

  I read fan mail.

• 1:25Ant McPartlin?

  You read fan mail?

• 1:26Declan Donnelly?

  And is disgusted by one of your filthy letters.

• 1:30Ant McPartlin?

  But I thought I would... It's disgusting, innit?

• 1:36Ant McPartlin?

  And Cindy Sweeney makes a surprise appearance on Britain's Got Talent. Enjoy the show!

• 1:47Declan Donnelly?

  Hi!

• 1:48Ant McPartlin?

  Greetings!

• 1:50Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, guys. Hello, we've switched the lights on, Aunt. Let's get in.

• 1:54Ant McPartlin?

  What was on? Turn it off on? Hi, everybody!

• 1:57Declan Donnelly?

  Good morning, good evening. Welcome back to the hangar for another hanging out with me and him.

• 2:01Ant McPartlin?

  You're excited, innit?

• 2:01Declan Donnelly?

  I'm very excited to be back.

• 2:03Ant McPartlin?

  Are you?

• 2:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I've got a nice cup of tea. Where's your... you've not got a drink?

• 2:06Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 2:07Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, no. Not this again.

• 2:08Ant McPartlin?

  Not again.

• 2:09Declan Donnelly?

  Not this again.

• 2:09Ant McPartlin?

  What is your problem? I'm not having yours. You sucked on it.

• 2:13Speaker 05

  I wasn't offering it.

• 2:13Ant McPartlin?

  Slugged it. Oh, you weren't offering it. You were just drinking it.

• 2:16Speaker 05

  I was just showing off.

• 2:17Declan Donnelly?

  Just golden.

• 2:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 2:20Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, welcome back. Lovely to be in your ears and your eyes again.

• 2:23Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, shut up.

• 2:26Declan Donnelly?

  For another.

• 2:26Ant McPartlin?

  Did you have a full body workout today?

• 2:28Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, no, not today. I did yesterday.

• 2:31Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 2:31Declan Donnelly?

  Had a full body. I've got sore legs and sore chest today.

• 2:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, man, shame.

• 2:35Declan Donnelly?

  I had a very interesting spa day the other day, though.

• 2:38Ant McPartlin?

  Spa day?

• 2:39Declan Donnelly?

  I went for a spa day.

• 2:40Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 2:40Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm. I know I had the day off the other day.

• 2:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 2:43Declan Donnelly?

  Me and the current Mrs. Donnelly had a spa thing that we'd been bought for Christmas.

• 2:48Ant McPartlin?

  A voucher.

• 2:50Declan Donnelly?

  A voucher, a spa day. So it was a three hour spa. It's unlike any spa I've been to.

• 2:55Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean?

• 2:55Declan Donnelly?

  Well, so I went in there and they give you a towel and a hat.

• 2:58Ant McPartlin?

  A hat?

• 2:59Declan Donnelly?

  Instead.

• 3:00Ant McPartlin?

  Why on earth do you need a hat in a spa?

• 3:02Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that's exactly my thoughts. So I put the hat on and you stick the towel around you and then you come out.

• 3:08Ant McPartlin?

  Send the photo first, because this is just, there's a lot of information here that we need to glean.

• 3:13Declan Donnelly?

  So I'd like, this is a wind up. Surely this is a wind up. But now they said, put your hat on, get in the steam room.

• 3:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 3:21Declan Donnelly?

  And the steam room looks suspiciously like a sauna. So I go in there and then two fellas come in.

• 3:29Ant McPartlin?

  What? Shut up!

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  Two fellas coming in shorts and the hat, the same hat as me, with branches.

• 3:36Ant McPartlin?

  What the hell is that?

• 3:38Declan Donnelly?

  It's just, it's apparently a sauna hat.

• 3:41Ant McPartlin?

  A sauna hat? I've never heard of a sauna hat. That looks like an upturned bin. A waste paper basket, doesn't it? Like this. Like, you pop that on, go into the spa, yeah.

• 3:54Ant McPartlin?

  They've done you in there, like, they've done you. Yeah, I'm ready for the spa.

• 3:59Declan Donnelly?

  So these two fellas come in, topless, wearing shorts with a hat on each.

• 4:04Ant McPartlin?

  Eh? So they're gonna have a sauna as well?

• 4:07Declan Donnelly?

  They then, he pulls out a table in the middle of the sauna.

• 4:10Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, hold on. What do you mean he pulls out a table? From where?

• 4:13Declan Donnelly?

  From the shorts pocket. The sauna is about the size of this room.

• 4:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah? So where's he pulled the table out from?

• 4:19Declan Donnelly?

  From the side. So he pulls this table out.

• 4:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 4:21Declan Donnelly?

  Takes me towel off his, puts the towel on there. He goes face down. It's a bit like that. He goes, lie down, face down. Starts hitting me with branches.

• 4:30Ant McPartlin?

  Ah!

• 4:31Declan Donnelly?

  Now, bearing in mind, right, this is not a private sauna. There's four women. Sat on the, on the, on the step, watching this guy hitting me with.

• 4:44Ant McPartlin?

  And they paid money for this, haven't they? They're like spectators.

• 4:48Ant McPartlin?

  They've paid for a cheaper ticket. They're not gonna get the experience, but they get to watch the experience.

• 4:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. There was a poster in the window.

• 4:54Ant McPartlin?

  And they get to watch a celebrity being bashed up by twigs.

• 4:56Declan Donnelly?

  There was a poster in the window with my face on. They'd sold tickets. No, no.

• 5:00Ant McPartlin?

  And watch Ted getting beaten up. It sounds like something we would send Stephen Mulhern to when he does accidental tourists.

• 5:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Cut to, we're back in the room.

• 5:10Speaker 05

  Was the current Mrs. Donnelly watching you?

• 5:12Declan Donnelly?

  So she was watching and then this other guy comes in, topless, says to her, turn over, face down. He starts hitting her with the branches. So whatever spa day we've been bought, we've got this experience going on. It's less of a spa day now, it's turned into a hostage situation.

• 5:28Declan Donnelly?

  So he's hitting her with branches, I'm getting hit with branches and he's like, turn over on your front. Starts hitting us with them.

• 5:33Ant McPartlin?

  Where did he hit you? Grind area?

• 5:35Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no. I'd have smashed his face in if he tried that. So.

• 5:39Ant McPartlin?

  What did it feel like?

• 5:40Declan Donnelly?

  It was absolutely really nice. Anyway, they finish hitting us with branches and they both go, stand up, stand up. So he takes me out first.

• 5:47Ant McPartlin?

  Takes her out? Oh my God. This is, this is hardcore.

• 5:51Declan Donnelly?

  Takes me outside the sauna.

• 5:53Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, okay.

• 5:53Declan Donnelly?

  Places me underneath a wooden barrel, pulls a chain, freezing cold water all over my head.

• 6:00Ant McPartlin?

  Did your hat get wet?

• 6:01Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, he took my hat off.

• 6:02Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, okay, good. I was gonna say.

• 6:04Declan Donnelly?

  And then he says, turns around, he goes, plunge pool.

• 6:07Ant McPartlin?

  What the hell?

• 6:08Declan Donnelly?

  Plunge pool in the corner.

• 6:10Ant McPartlin?

  Did you say, please?

• 6:13Ant McPartlin?

  Please wouldn't go, mate.

• 6:15Declan Donnelly?

  So I climb into this plunge pool. I'm in there, you know, you, can't, can't just, the bit. So I get in the plunge pool like that. Next thing I see is the current Mrs. D being walked out of the steam room by this other geezer. He's got her by the arm. It really does look like a hostage situation. Got her by the arm, he sticks her under the wooden barrel. I start laughing because I know what's coming. Takes her hat off and she's going, just here, just here. He pulls the chain. She nearly dies.

• 6:43Ant McPartlin?

  I bet you wish you could have pulled that barrel over. I'll take it from here.

• 6:46Declan Donnelly?

  She's going, ah, ah, ah, ah. So I get, so I'm watching, laughing. He turns to me and goes, head under.

• 6:54Declan Donnelly?

  So I have to go, what? He goes head under. So I have to come up and my head under in this plunge pool. Then I get out. Um. He then opens up, puts me in a different room. And I hear her go, I hear him go plunge pool. She goes, oh, she's got like that. She's getting in the plunge pool and I hear head under. Anyway, I'm in this other room then. He's put me on a marble slab.

• 7:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, no.

• 7:15Declan Donnelly?

  Face down. And then he starts scrubbing me with.

• 7:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, this is like what we sent Steve Mulhern to.

• 7:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I thought I was, it was fluffy robes and cucumbers on my eyes.

• 7:25Ant McPartlin?

  No way.

• 7:26Declan Donnelly?

  I was being held hostage.

• 7:27Ant McPartlin?

  How did you feel afterwards?

• 7:29Declan Donnelly?

  Actually felt great.

• 7:30Ant McPartlin?

  I bet. Did it hurt when he was scrubbing you with, what was it like a big, big, what is it like a wire wool?

• 7:36Declan Donnelly?

  It was, um, it was big lumps of, um, salty, gristly, uh, uh, cream, like exfoliator.

• 7:44Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay, I see.

• 7:45Declan Donnelly?

  All over your body.

• 7:46Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 7:46Declan Donnelly?

  And I mean, all over your body.

• 7:48Ant McPartlin?

  Your balls and stuff.

• 7:49Declan Donnelly?

  No, not my balls. Didn't exfoliate my balls.

• 7:51Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you've got to ask these questions. I want to go. And now I know that's not on the table. I'm not going.

• 7:58Declan Donnelly?

  But at the end of it, I was like, now I know what to expect. I'd quite.

• 8:01Ant McPartlin?

  You go again?

• 8:02Declan Donnelly?

  I'd quite like to go again.

• 8:03Ant McPartlin?

  We could go together.

• 8:04Declan Donnelly?

  Could do that, couldn't we?

• 8:05Ant McPartlin?

  Do I have, really have to wear the hat?

• 8:07Declan Donnelly?

  You have to wear the hat. Everybody's got the hat on.

• 8:09Ant McPartlin?

  He just looked really uncool.

• 8:11Declan Donnelly?

  But it's like going to fancy dress party, not in fancy dress. You look more uncool without the hat because everybody else has got them on.

• 8:17Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good point. I'll just take, I'll take this.

• 8:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 8:20Ant McPartlin?

  Put me on, put me on, pal. Well, as catch up score, that was the best one you've ever caught me up on.

• 8:25Declan Donnelly?

  I Googled it afterwards and yeah, it's called a banya.

• 8:28Ant McPartlin?

  Banya?

• 8:29Declan Donnelly?

  Banya, which is a Russian steam room. And they do it a lot in Russia and it's a communal thing.

• 8:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, there's quite a lot of them in New York.

• 8:37Declan Donnelly?

  Is there?

• 8:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, where they could heat you with branches and stuff.

• 8:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. And that's the, it's called a perenny or something.

• 8:43Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 8:44Declan Donnelly?

  It's the, that's the name of the.

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  Sounds brilliant. I'd love to give it a go.

• 8:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 8:48Ant McPartlin?

  We should film it. We should do it together and film it.

• 8:50Declan Donnelly?

  If you're into that kind of thing. All above board.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  It's all above board.

• 8:54Declan Donnelly?

  What have you been up to?

• 8:55Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, not a lot. Nothing as exciting as that. Well, I did have, well, I saw you because we did have, uh, Wilders related second birthday party.

• 9:03Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 9:04Ant McPartlin?

  It was pepper pig themed.

• 9:06Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 9:07Ant McPartlin?

  He was pepper pigged off his head. We had cupcakes, we had cardboard cutouts, we had two bouncy castles. He absolutely loved it. And then when Hughes left, I had to then go back on the Peppa Pig bouncy castle.

• 9:22Declan Donnelly?

  Of course.

• 9:22Ant McPartlin?

  And then I had to go back on the next morning, because he loved it. And this morning, they came and took it last night. This morning, he was eating his breakfast like that, and he got down from the high chair, went to the window, and his fingers were against the window, and he just went, Peppa, Peppa. Looking at the empty space where the Peppa Pig bouncy castle was. I mean, it felt a bit like the Eternal Love music video, you know, when the, you know, because it was raining and the rain was coming down the window, and his hands were pressed up against the glass. Peppa!

• 9:52Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, poor lad.

• 9:54Ant McPartlin?

  But he had a lovely time. Thank you for coming. Yeah, some lovely gifts. You're a very lucky boy.

• 9:58Declan Donnelly?

  I can't stop thinking about those chocolate chip cookies.

• 10:00Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I should have brought them in.

• 10:02Declan Donnelly?

  Have you got more?

• 10:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, there's a big tin of them back at home.

• 10:04Declan Donnelly?

  Shut up, man!

• 10:05Ant McPartlin?

  We'll never eat all them.

• 10:06Declan Donnelly?

  No, you won't. Bring them in.

• 10:07Ant McPartlin?

  I'll bring them in.

• 10:08Declan Donnelly?

  Bring them in.

• 10:08Ant McPartlin?

  And it's National Biscuit Day tomorrow.

• 10:11Declan Donnelly?

  We should do something about biscuits.

• 10:13Ant McPartlin?

  You know my favourite biscuits, all right?

• 10:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:15Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, top three? Would you know my top three biscuits?

• 10:17Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 10:18Ant McPartlin?

  Would you?

• 10:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:18Ant McPartlin?

  Can we get them? We'll have them, lay with a cup of tea.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:21Ant McPartlin?

  Would you know Dex's top three biscuits?

• 10:22Speaker 05

  Pretty sure.

• 10:23Declan Donnelly?

  I can send you them.

• 10:23Speaker 05

  Oh, I'll double check.

• 10:24Declan Donnelly?

  I'll send you them.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:25Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 10:26Speaker 05

  Do you guys know each others?

• 10:27Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, I think so.

• 10:28Declan Donnelly?

  I've got a good idea.

• 10:29Ant McPartlin?

  I think we don't want each other's all.

• 10:31Declan Donnelly?

  I've got a good idea.

• 10:31Ant McPartlin?

  We can take a little guess later on.

• 10:33Declan Donnelly?

  Let's do that later.

• 10:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 10:35Declan Donnelly?

  I'll send, we'll, we'll send you our top three biscuits.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  We'll fly them in.

• 10:38Declan Donnelly?

  Get, fly, fly them in?

• 10:40Ant McPartlin?

  Fly them in.

• 10:40Declan Donnelly?

  Wow.

• 10:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, fly them, like Bono's hat.

• 10:43Declan Donnelly?

  And, um, let's do a top three biscuit reveal.

• 10:46Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 10:46Declan Donnelly?

  Later on the show.

• 10:47Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 10:49Ant McPartlin?

  This is an advert for Santander, who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible, and the road to owning can be a bumpy one.

• 10:58Declan Donnelly?

  Do you remember the day we, um, went to view a house for me, my very first house?

• 11:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I bought one myself.

• 11:04Declan Donnelly?

  You bought it on the fly.

• 11:05Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I went along to help you, didn't I?

• 11:06Declan Donnelly?

  Well, because I wanted your opinion. It's such a big deal, isn't it, to, to invest in a property for the very first time?

• 11:11Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm.

• 11:12Declan Donnelly?

  And it's such a lot of money, and it's a big commitment, it's a big grown up decision to make.

• 11:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is.

• 11:17Declan Donnelly?

  I really wanted somebody else's opinion.

• 11:19Ant McPartlin?

  You needed support.

• 11:20Declan Donnelly?

  I needed support.

• 11:21Ant McPartlin?

  So you asked for me.

• 11:22Declan Donnelly?

  Well, yes, you know, you were my best friend at the time.

• 11:25Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you.

• 11:25Declan Donnelly?

  So.

• 11:25Ant McPartlin?

  Did you read that this time?

• 11:28Declan Donnelly?

  So I just wanted somebody there to back up that I was doing the right thing.

• 11:31Ant McPartlin?

  What can I say? Everybody needs someone like me in their lives.

• 11:36Ant McPartlin?

  Imagine what it's like for first time buyers now.

• 11:39Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I think it's even harder nowadays.

• 11:40Ant McPartlin?

  It is.

• 11:41Declan Donnelly?

  It's like you've got a mountain to climb to do it. But did you know that Santander have first time buyer mortgages with deposits starting from just £10,000, even on larger loans?

• 11:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I did know that. We recorded an advert for just that last week. Now, over to Lola for the Ts and Cs.

• 11:57Declan Donnelly?

  Lola, you're on.

• 11:58Ant McPartlin?

  Hit it.

• 11:58Speaker 06

  You may lose your home if you don't keep up your mortgage payments. Mortgage subject to status and lending policy. 500k max loan on houses with a 10k deposit. Min 5% deposit is required. Flats, new build and properties in Northern Ireland. Santander UK PLC.

• 12:13Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, very good.

• 12:15Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a competition, but you were better than Fiona.

• 12:19Declan Donnelly?

  Although Fiona, can you just have a little, can we have a little trumpet from you?

• 12:24Declan Donnelly?

  That is very good.

• 12:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, she's better at that.

• 12:26Declan Donnelly?

  Visit santander.co.uk for more details.

• 12:29Ant McPartlin?

  Santander, it starts here.

• 12:32Ant McPartlin?

  So I have a bone to pick with you. I didn't get a banana.

• 12:37Declan Donnelly?

  I thought this.

• 12:38Ant McPartlin?

  For not spending any money last week.

• 12:39Declan Donnelly?

  I thought this after we did the pod, so you do. But hang on a minute, well, let's just catch up now on.

• 12:45Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 12:45Declan Donnelly?

  This week.

• 12:46Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 12:47Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not going to give you a banana yet.

• 12:48Ant McPartlin?

  Why? You always want for last week.

• 12:50Declan Donnelly?

  Well, let's talk about this week first. And then if you, if you've been a good boy, you can have two bananas. Tell me what you've been up to. Have you, have you spent any money?

• 13:00Ant McPartlin?

  No, I haven't spent any money. I went on Amazon for the first time yesterday.

• 13:06Declan Donnelly?

  Just for old times' sake.

• 13:07Ant McPartlin?

  No, not, not just to browse around. I went on because I needed something. I've got to check with you that it's a necessity. Hairspray. What do you mean? Shut up. Shut your face.

• 13:21Declan Donnelly?

  Does it need hairspray?

• 13:22Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean, does it need hairspray?

• 13:24Declan Donnelly?

  Does that need hairspray?

• 13:25Ant McPartlin?

  That, yes, that, my hairstyle does. And I ran out of hairspray, so I needed hairspray.

• 13:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that's a necessity.

• 13:32Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 13:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, is it at your work? Your jumper looks like completely new though.

• 13:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that does look very new.

• 13:39Ant McPartlin?

  I bought this jumper last year in New York and it was a shop I'd, I said to the kids, I'm not. Cueing for any shop in my life ever, because they were like, oh, you know, when like there's certain shops and they do certain drops and they queue around the block in New York. It seemed every other shop with people queuing. I went, we're not doing that. We're not queuing outside any shop. Nothing's that good.

• 14:00Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 14:00Ant McPartlin?

  So I kicked off. Anyway, they didn't listen to us and they queued. So I would, I stood there in protest, not queuing, but near them. So I could talk to them, but not, not queuing.

• 14:12Ant McPartlin?

  Anyway, it turns out the shop.

• 14:13Declan Donnelly?

  Want to make it clear? A lot of them sit here. I am not in the queue.

• 14:17Ant McPartlin?

  I did say that. I'm not, I'm not in the queue, mate. I'm not in the queue. I'm not queuing for a shop. So anyway, I was stood next to the queue and then I realised in the shop that was selling this stuff was a guy making coffee. I went, oh, I wouldn't mind a coffee. So he went, oh, if you want a coffee, you can come in and get a coffee. So they were giving away free coffee. So I've got a coffee and then obviously the kids wanted something. So I've got something for my wife and the kids. I brought them back out and I'm chatting, still not queuing, but the queue's moving down. And I end up in the shop, even though I hadn't queued for it.

• 14:49Declan Donnelly?

  Wow.

• 14:50Ant McPartlin?

  And I bought more than the kids. So, you know, that's another example of I spend too much on clothes. So I still have, it is new, but I've rarely worn it. So I'm, I'm, I'm wearing old things that I haven't really worn on the pod. So it's not, I haven't spent any money. Povle hairspray, that's the only thing. Hairspray and teabags.

• 15:10Declan Donnelly?

  Hairspray, teabags, a new set of McLaren golf clubs.

• 15:13Ant McPartlin?

  Nah, I see. Didn't buy them, did I?

• 15:15Declan Donnelly?

  Well, well done for not spending last week.

• 15:19Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you.

• 15:19Declan Donnelly?

  And this week.

• 15:20Ant McPartlin?

  Hey.

• 15:22Declan Donnelly?

  How many bananas have you got in total now?

• 15:23Ant McPartlin?

  I've got one, two, three, four, five bananas. What do I get when I get till like a couple of months?

• 15:29Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, when you get lots of bananas, you can trade them in for a Amazon gift voucher, five pounds.

• 15:38Ant McPartlin?

  No, she made pound per banana.

• 15:40Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 15:40Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 15:41Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:42Ant McPartlin?

  A pound of banana, okay, right, good.

• 15:43Declan Donnelly?

  Amazon gift card.

• 15:44Ant McPartlin?

  Good, thank you.

• 15:44Declan Donnelly?

  There we go.

• 15:45Ant McPartlin?

  Talking of crap you don't need, how's your piles?

• 15:47Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, my piles are still there, all of them. I haven't.

• 15:50Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 15:51Declan Donnelly?

  I haven't touched them.

• 15:51Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 15:52Declan Donnelly?

  I can't be bothered.

• 15:53Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean?

• 15:54Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, she had a go at me this week. I heard you talking about your piles on the podcast. Says you've still got a pile downstairs from your 50th birthday.

• 16:02Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean? Presents and stuff?

• 16:03Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 16:04Ant McPartlin?

  Where's the pile?

• 16:05Declan Donnelly?

  In the office, downstairs.

• 16:06Ant McPartlin?

  But also, if you're gonna move it from downstairs, you're just gonna move it to the pile upstairs and make the pile upstairs bigger?

• 16:11Declan Donnelly?

  She won't allow us to do that. I have to go and deal with the pile, uh, down below.

• 16:15Ant McPartlin?

  Is that a day? Sounds weird, doesn't it? Go and deal with your down below piles.

• 16:20Declan Donnelly?

  Well, also as well, I'm a little bit excited about that pile. Because I didn't realise it existed. And now it's gonna be like having a second birthday.

• 16:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is.

• 16:27Declan Donnelly?

  Because it's from my 50th birthday.

• 16:28Ant McPartlin?

  So you're just gonna prolong the enjoyment?

• 16:30Declan Donnelly?

  So I'm gonna go down and go, oh, I forgot about this. So I'm gonna go and have a look what's in my 50th pile.

• 16:35Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay.

• 16:35Declan Donnelly?

  And, uh, I'll take it all off, go, oh, yeah, lovely, I'll put that in that pile over there. And I'll just move the pile.

• 16:40Ant McPartlin?

  You just make more piles?

• 16:42Declan Donnelly?

  I do make more piles.

• 16:43Ant McPartlin?

  Need to swap stuff. Oh, actually, talking of swaps, we've had hundreds, hundreds of swaps for your trainers.

• 16:50Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not surprised, they're great trainers. £400 apparently.

• 16:52Ant McPartlin?

  So we'll do famous guy swaps things later on in the show, but it's a good, it's a good list.

• 16:56Declan Donnelly?

  Is it?

• 16:56Ant McPartlin?

  It's a very good list.

• 16:57Declan Donnelly?

  It better be good, because these are good trainers.

• 17:00Ant McPartlin?

  I wonder if they've gone up, have they gone up at all in the last couple of weeks?

• 17:03Declan Donnelly?

  Gone up in value?

• 17:04Ant McPartlin?

  We should Google it. They might have gone up to like 420, 425. They'll be more expensive. By the time you trade them, they'll be, uh, they'll be even more expensive, I reckon.

• 17:13Declan Donnelly?

  Well, you've got to find them first.

• 17:15Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean?

• 17:16Declan Donnelly?

  Where are they?

• 17:18Ant McPartlin?

  Well, they're in here somewhere, aren't they? In the corner or something. We'll get them. We'll get them out. We're not doing it yet, though, are we?

• 17:23Declan Donnelly?

  Well, good luck finding them.

• 17:24Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean? Have you hit them?

• 17:26Declan Donnelly?

  Haven't hit them, but good luck finding them.

• 17:28Ant McPartlin?

  What are you talking about? You've got them, haven't you? You did have them. They were there. They were literally under your chair. Don't hide them from him. Don't hide them for him.

• 17:38Speaker 05

  No, we put them under that chair.

• 17:40Ant McPartlin?

  They were under that chair?

• 17:41Speaker 05

  No, they were.

• 17:42Ant McPartlin?

  Have you taken them back?

• 17:43Declan Donnelly?

  No, I haven't taken them back. I haven't taken them back, but I heard.

• 17:46Ant McPartlin?

  Swear down you haven't taken them back?

• 17:47Declan Donnelly?

  I haven't taken them back.

• 17:48Ant McPartlin?

  Have you sold them?

• 17:49Declan Donnelly?

  No, I haven't sold them. But I heard they'd gone, they'd gone walkabout.

• 17:53Ant McPartlin?

  Of who? Gone walkabout? What, with your legs in them?

• 17:58Ant McPartlin?

  With your legs in them?

• 18:00Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe.

• 18:03Ant McPartlin?

  Have you had them all this time?

• 18:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:05Ant McPartlin?

  Oh brilliant. Okay, yeah, I'll take that.

• 18:06Declan Donnelly?

  They look good, don't they?

• 18:08Ant McPartlin?

  Now, you see, what are you swapping them for? What are you swapping those really cool undecles on your trainers for?

• 18:13Declan Donnelly?

  Can I sort them for a place in Rizzle Kicks?

• 18:16Ant McPartlin?

  Places are taken. Uh, yeah, you have to wear them and I have to get one of Rizzle Kicks to do the pod with me. And Britain's Got Talent and all of that. Uh, talking of toes and feet, my toe is so sore. It's worse now than it ever has been.

• 18:29Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 18:30Ant McPartlin?

  Today's the worst day. It's just throbbing like crazy.

• 18:33Declan Donnelly?

  What can you do about that? Pinkles? Cream?

• 18:36Ant McPartlin?

  Cream? What do you mean cream? It's still bandaged up, so.

• 18:39Speaker 05

  Breast milk?

• 18:41Ant McPartlin?

  Breast milk, that's a good show. Do you know anybody who's breastfeeding at the minute? If you're breastfeeding, get in touch and, um, I can rub some on my feet just to see if they make them feel better. I'm joking, obviously. Please don't, please. Please don't sell me your breast milk. Don't want it. Don't want it. Do you know what my wife said, right? So yesterday was the first day I kind of took the bandage off and then re-bandaged it because she said, you know, leave it a few days then unbandage and re-bandage. I took it off, I was like, wow, that's not great, like. So anyway, I was like, I held it up and I was like, what do you think? Well, how do you think it looks? She stares at it like this. Stares. Stares. She goes, why didn't you cut your nails while you were in there?

• 19:23Ant McPartlin?

  Is that what you take from this? Is that what you say? No, oh darling, that looks sore. Or can I help? Do you want me to re-bandage it? Why didn't you cut your nails while you were in there? What? I'm doing it myself. I'm just not right now. I can't deal with those things. I can't deal with both things right now.

• 19:43Declan Donnelly?

  That was, that's a follow up question.

• 19:45Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that is a follow up question. I've even dealt with it. Oh, poor dog. I just, you know.

• 19:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, by the way.

• 19:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 19:51Declan Donnelly?

  I thought she would have cut your nails.

• 19:52Ant McPartlin?

  What's that thing, you know, when you're, um, you're talking to somebody and, and before you respond to someone who's like crying or upset or whatever, you say, do you want sympathy or do you want advice? That's what you should say to someone. In that moment, I just wanted sympathy.

• 20:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 20:08Ant McPartlin?

  Didn't want advice. And I certainly didn't want a criticism of me nails.

• 20:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my god, I wonder what that, what we're getting nowadays on WikiFeet.

• 20:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you wait the summer. You wait until it's path friendly. It'll look great. I'll still be two points higher than you.

• 20:25Ant McPartlin?

  Or you four point seven. Furious. Furious you are.

• 20:28Declan Donnelly?

  Furious.

• 20:30Declan Donnelly?

  Britain's Got Talent final on Saturday.

• 20:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 20:36Declan Donnelly?

  It's a drum roll for the final.

• 20:38Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you.

• 20:38Declan Donnelly?

  It's quite exciting, isn't it?

• 20:39Ant McPartlin?

  It's really exciting.

• 20:40Declan Donnelly?

  Good line up.

• 20:40Ant McPartlin?

  Still love it. Still love the final, big GT.

• 20:43Declan Donnelly?

  Lots of variety in there.

• 20:44Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's a really good final.

• 20:45Declan Donnelly?

  Our golden buzzer act Ted Hill is honing his act.

• 20:49Ant McPartlin?

  I think he could do pretty well, you know.

• 20:51Declan Donnelly?

  I think he's got an outside chance.

• 20:53Ant McPartlin?

  He's got, you know, I think he's got a good chance of winning. He was really funny in the semi finals. It was a real step up from his audition and you don't always see that.

• 21:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 21:02Ant McPartlin?

  Because a lot of people in the past just repeat what they did in the semi final.

• 21:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 21:07Ant McPartlin?

  And it never really goes down well. And now we've moved the show to the live shows on every Saturday. It used to be on every night over the May half term. Now it's every Saturday. It gives the acts more chance to rehearse and really hone their act. So they give us a really good final performance.

• 21:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, because it used to be if you got through on the Friday night semi final, you could be back 24 hours later in the final.

• 21:30Ant McPartlin?

  Which gives you no chance really, does it, to do something new.

• 21:32Declan Donnelly?

  Even if you come through that last semi final, you get a full week to really hone your act and get your final performance tipped off.

• 21:39Ant McPartlin?

  It's always busy, isn't it, the final?

• 21:42Declan Donnelly?

  It's crazy night.

• 21:43Ant McPartlin?

  It's always crazy. It's like hosting Eurovision. Because it's on for such a long time and every act really maximizes what they, their time. So we don't really have a lot of time to talk to the judges or do our links. You've just got to, you've just got to present the act.

• 22:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 22:01Ant McPartlin?

  It's all about them.

• 22:02Declan Donnelly?

  It's always a great atmosphere. The semi final has been brilliant atmospheres.

• 22:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 22:05Declan Donnelly?

  But the final just elevates another little bit.

• 22:08Ant McPartlin?

  I wear a black tie.

• 22:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 22:10Ant McPartlin?

  Should we wear a black tie?

• 22:11Declan Donnelly?

  Should we do that? With your tux?

• 22:12Ant McPartlin?

  What colour tux though? Because we normally do black.

• 22:14Declan Donnelly?

  We normally do black. We've got black, blue.

• 22:17Ant McPartlin?

  Grey.

• 22:17Declan Donnelly?

  And grey.

• 22:18Speaker 05

  What about burgundy? People loved Ant in the burgundy.

• 22:21Ant McPartlin?

  Did they?

• 22:21Speaker 05

  You've got loads of messages about that.

• 22:23Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 22:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, okay. Well, that's, that's, that's good because.

• 22:26Declan Donnelly?

  You're on, you're 4.9 on WikiSuit.

• 22:30Ant McPartlin?

  No, that's nice to hear because I wasn't sure when it went out.

• 22:32Speaker 05

  Well, the audience loved.

• 22:34Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I'll wear it again. Uh, sure. What were we saying? Blue?

• 22:38Declan Donnelly?

  Blue, black or grey?

• 22:39Ant McPartlin?

  Grey.

• 22:39Speaker 05

  We get the listeners to vote.

• 22:41Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, let us know.

• 22:43Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 22:43Declan Donnelly?

  Blue, black or grey?

• 22:44Speaker 05

  Not green? Red?

• 22:46Declan Donnelly?

  We don't have a green tux.

• 22:47Speaker 05

  Not red?

• 22:48Ant McPartlin?

  No, you can't just name colours. Like, we don't have all of these colour tuxes just hanging up in the wardrobe.

• 22:53Declan Donnelly?

  I, I reiterate, blue, black or grey.

• 22:56Speaker 05

  Not brown?

• 22:57Declan Donnelly?

  I think we should do grey.

• 22:58Ant McPartlin?

  No, what do you mean not brown? We don't have brown!

• 23:00Declan Donnelly?

  I think we should go grey. We haven't done grey for ages.

• 23:02Ant McPartlin?

  Looks like someone's made our mind up.

• 23:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, so don't bother voting.

• 23:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly. We want to vote. Don't even mention the comments.

• 23:09Declan Donnelly?

  I think we're gonna go grey.

• 23:10Ant McPartlin?

  Get what you're given.

• 23:12Declan Donnelly?

  I think we should go grey.

• 23:13Speaker 05

  On the final day with the rehearsals, do you get, how much of the final acts do you get to see before you're live?

• 23:20Declan Donnelly?

  We.

• 23:21Ant McPartlin?

  We see them all in the dress rehearsal.

• 23:22Declan Donnelly?

  Everything.

• 23:23Ant McPartlin?

  We see it all.

• 23:24Declan Donnelly?

  They don't necessarily see each other, but we see all the acts. So that's the same every Saturday. We go and we do a dress rehearsal about four, three, four o'clock.

• 23:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 23:33Declan Donnelly?

  And we do the whole show as it's gonna go. So all the acts. So we see everybody's performance in full in the dress rehearsal.

• 23:39Speaker 05

  Even the really dangerous ones, do they do full out?

• 23:42Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, no, no, it's the danger ones. Sometimes they'll, they'll kind of just block through it without the fire or without the swords or crossbows or whatever it is. You know, they won't always do the danger element. Sometimes the dancers won't give you a full-on hundred percent energetic dance move. They'll give you a little marked down version of it.

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  But at least you get the gist.

• 24:03Ant McPartlin?

  Just to conserve their energy, yeah.

• 24:03Declan Donnelly?

  You get the gist.

• 24:04Speaker 05

  Do the judges sit in?

• 24:06Ant McPartlin?

  No, the judges never sit in for the dress rehearsal in the semis or the final. Now they watch it on the night.

• 24:14Speaker 05

  So, but how do you practise kind of speaking to them?

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  We have standing judges that sit there. They're who, they don't, they don't really help, do they? They don't, do they? Because they just go, you are great.

• 24:25Declan Donnelly?

  Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, it'd be pretty bad, wouldn't it, if? A work experience who's standing in front of the judges starts going, uh, actually. I'll tell you what I didn't like about that.

• 24:35Ant McPartlin?

  I thought your vocal was weird. I thought your stage presence was pedestrian.

• 24:39Speaker 05

  What is the atmosphere like when there's a really dangerous act on that? When it's live and there's like fire everywhere? Cause as a viewer, it's like, you know, squeaky bum territory.

• 24:50Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, it's like that as a, as a host.

• 24:52Speaker 05

  Are there loads of like ambulancy people?

• 24:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:54Ant McPartlin?

  There's lots of medics and there's loads of fire safety people around the back in the wings waiting with buckets and you know, the fire blankets and, um, fire extinguishers. Just in case anything goes wrong.

• 25:05Declan Donnelly?

  It's really interesting for us as well because we've seen all of the acts in the dress rehearsals. So we sit and watch everything in the dress run. So during the show, a lot of the time I watch the audience watching the acts because I've seen it. I know what's happening. So I watched their faces to see how they're, how much they're into it and how, how involved they get. Um, whether that's a dangerous act or a dance act or a singer. It's really interesting to watch the audience and kind of gauge how it's gone down. But yeah, it's, it's, it's gonna be a big all final. I can't call it. I've got sneaky suspicion Ted might do well.

• 25:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I think Ted might do very well.

• 25:40Speaker 05

  Any of your golden buzzes have, uh, won?

• 25:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, we've won the show before. John Courtney.

• 25:46Declan Donnelly?

  John Courtney on the piano. He won it, um, in the lockdown shows when we had no audience, bless him. I think that's the only one we've had, isn't it?

• 25:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:54Declan Donnelly?

  Amanda's had a winner, Sydney Sweeney.

• 25:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, she has.

• 25:56Declan Donnelly?

  Not Sydney Sweeney.

• 25:58Ant McPartlin?

  Sydney Sweeney. We'd remember Sydney Sweeney. If Sydney Sweeney was on the show, we'd remember.

• 26:03Declan Donnelly?

  Sydney Sweeney's never done Bred's Got Talent. Sydney Sweeney on the brain.

• 26:09Declan Donnelly?

  Sydney Christmas.

• 26:10Ant McPartlin?

  And she's your screensaver as well. You've got to stop. Sydney Christmas was Amanda's. Um, who else is?

• 26:19Ant McPartlin?

  Sydney Sweeney.

• 26:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh God.

• 26:21Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, well, at least the hashtag for this can be Sydney Sweeney. People might think she's on the pod. If you are in trouble for not moving your piles, you're gonna get into trouble for this.

• 26:30Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, there's an aeroplane. Do you want to read it? Cause I haven't got my specs on.

• 26:33Ant McPartlin?

  I'll go then. I mean, they're just there, but thank. Hi, I'm Deck. I make postbox toppers for my town and done a topper to advertise the podcast.

• 26:43Declan Donnelly?

  That's a great idea!

• 26:44Ant McPartlin?

  Everything from a silly goose wearing Newcastle United scarf to Dex diary love, Kayleigh Cavanagh.

• 26:49Declan Donnelly?

  That is brilliant, Kayleigh Cavanagh!

• 26:51Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my god, Kayleigh! So this is our first piece of guerrilla marketing.

• 26:56Declan Donnelly?

  Well done, Kayleigh.

• 26:58Ant McPartlin?

  How else, how can you advertise the podcast? This, this is very good.

• 27:04Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, we've got a postbox topper here with respect, guys, hanging out with that Deck, Dex diary. We've got a silly goose in a Newcastle United scarf and us.

• 27:13Ant McPartlin?

  Bananas!

• 27:14Declan Donnelly?

  We've got some bananas. That is brilliant, Kayleigh. What is that?

• 27:18Ant McPartlin?

  It's a, it's a aeroplane.

• 27:19Declan Donnelly?

  It's an aeroplane coming in!

• 27:21Ant McPartlin?

  We've got an aeroplane! That is so good!

• 27:23Declan Donnelly?

  Attention to detail.

• 27:25Ant McPartlin?

  Even if you're all as autistic as Kayleigh, which you probably won't be, don't let that stop you from advertising the podcast where you can. So, and, and take a picture and send it in. We'll definitely show it on the pod. That's really good though. Well done, Kayleigh.

• 27:38Declan Donnelly?

  Amazing job.

• 27:41Ant McPartlin?

  Right, the time has come for this famous guy to swap something. Because it's time for Famous Guys Swaps Things!

• 27:48Declan Donnelly?

  Have we got a jingle?

• 27:49Ant McPartlin?

  Have we got a jingle yet? No.

• 27:50Declan Donnelly?

  No jingle?

• 27:51Ant McPartlin?

  Why are you not coming forward with the jingle? Famous Guys Swaps Things!

• 27:55Declan Donnelly?

  That'll have to do.

• 27:56Ant McPartlin?

  So, I've got them all on a clipboard here. I want you to kind of whittle it down to just a couple. Okay. For the shortlist, right? We can't have too many on the shortlist because you're quite indecisive.

• 28:04Declan Donnelly?

  I am.

• 28:05Ant McPartlin?

  So it's a, it's a straight yes or no.

• 28:08Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 28:09Ant McPartlin?

  As I make my way through the list, there's quite a few to go through this week. What do you mean, oh?

• 28:13Declan Donnelly?

  Can I have a shortlist?

• 28:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, have a shortlist.

• 28:15Declan Donnelly?

  Alright.

• 28:15Ant McPartlin?

  But don't make your shortlist a long list.

• 28:17Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 28:18Ant McPartlin?

  That's what normally happens with you. Right!

• 28:22Declan Donnelly?

  Supposed to be a fun item, isn't it?

• 28:24Ant McPartlin?

  First swap for the Rizzle Kicks trainers. Show them one more time.

• 28:30Ant McPartlin?

  I would like to offer something for Famous Guys Swaps Things. Now, I wasn't totally sure on the rules of livestock swaps, but I thought I would shoot my shot all the same. Shoot my shot? Disgusting!

• 28:46Ant McPartlin?

  Shoot my shot on a sim. Well, look, we're getting sidetracked because you missed a word earlier on that should have spoke to you more than.

• 28:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, I heard livestock.

• 29:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, livestock. Oh, you heard it. Good. Okay. Which is seems like we're concentrating on shoot my shot on that one.

• 29:05Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you're the one concentrating on that.

• 29:07Ant McPartlin?

  Disgusting. I'm going to cross it out. Now, it wasn't totally sure on the rules of livestock swaps. Redacted, redacted. But I have two dash ons, one miniature and one tweenie. There they are. The tweenie is in excellent condition, just turned 11. Smidge of arthritis in his legs, but hey, he is 11. The miniature, however, is suboptimal condition. 12 years old, overweight, lots of allergies, arthritis and frequently smells like cheese. I am aware they look dead in the photograph, but I can assure you they are 100% fully alive. They are just typical daxies and sleep 90% of the day in whatever sunshine they can find. And I think they would love spending time with Rocky.

• 29:52Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 29:53Ant McPartlin?

  I think those trainers are cool. I too have been put off wearing things in the past because people have made a comment about the item not being very me. Not anymore. I wear what I like and I frequently look pretty weird. But you know what? Life is too short. Respect, guys. Love, Steph Sunny Cornwall. P.S. Absolutely no way would I swap my actual sausages.

• 30:17Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, right.

• 30:18Ant McPartlin?

  They are my world, but I would swap this photo of them for your shoes.

• 30:22Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, right. Well, that got.

• 30:25Ant McPartlin?

  That's annoying.

• 30:26Declan Donnelly?

  That is a no.

• 30:27Ant McPartlin?

  What a load of, all of that time was taken on shoot my shot. I mean, redacted, redacted.

• 30:34Declan Donnelly?

  Cute dogs, though.

• 30:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, very cute dogs.

• 30:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 30:37Ant McPartlin?

  Swap two. And Dec, after listening to your famous guy swaps things segment for the last few weeks, my daughter has been really keen for me to send an email in and offer a swap.

• 30:46Declan Donnelly?

  Mmm.

• 30:47Ant McPartlin?

  As a family, we're trying to visit all of the cities in the UK and we're doing pretty well.

• 30:52Declan Donnelly?

  I like the sound of that. That sounds like a good, clean, family fun pastime.

• 30:59Declan Donnelly?

  Good, clean fun.

• 31:01Ant McPartlin?

  To document our journey, I've made a map and each time we visit a city, we add a pin.

• 31:06Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, well, that's right up my street.

• 31:07Ant McPartlin?

  Now, I know how much Deck loves a map. We would love to make him one too in return for his trainers. This is the map. Last week Deck mentioned I'm putting them on eBay and that's exactly what we would like to do.

• 31:20Ant McPartlin?

  My daughter has been fortunate enough to be selected to attend the World Scout Jamboree in Poland next year.

• 31:27Declan Donnelly?

  Fun, good, clean fun.

• 31:28Ant McPartlin?

  But has to raise £3,100. This fundraiser not only goes towards her fees, but also supports less fortunate youngsters in funding their trip too. She has already raised a thousand pounds through volunteering, well done, and making and selling 3D printed items, but this Declan, this would help her enormously. We hope to hear from you soon. Respect guys. Sarah. So it looks like it's a wooden map.

• 31:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 31:53Ant McPartlin?

  Just to explain it to the listener.

• 31:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 31:54Ant McPartlin?

  And there is little drum pins that you can put in to symbolise where you've been in the UK.

• 32:01Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 32:02Ant McPartlin?

  She will get you one of these.

• 32:04Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 32:04Ant McPartlin?

  You like the map?

• 32:05Declan Donnelly?

  I like the map and I like, I think we could turn it into a UK listener map and put it on our wall.

• 32:11Ant McPartlin?

  Do you like the backstory?

• 32:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, but I feel like you're trying to play on my heartstrings there.

• 32:15Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not, I'm not playing on your heartstrings. Look, it's the biggest paragraph.

• 32:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you shouldn't.

• 32:19Ant McPartlin?

  She put it.

• 32:19Declan Donnelly?

  You read it out. I like it.

• 32:21Ant McPartlin?

  It's a maybe?

• 32:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's a maybe.

• 32:22Ant McPartlin?

  Right, I've got a map, I'm doing parts now.

• 32:25Declan Donnelly?

  That's good.

• 32:25Ant McPartlin?

  See how good we've got on it?

• 32:26Declan Donnelly?

  As long as you clear them up when you're done.

• 32:28Ant McPartlin?

  Next swap. Hi and Deck, love the pod and watch every episode. I would like to do a trade with Deck, it's a swap but still, for his high tops. I don't like them, to be fair, they're mingin', but I wouldn't mind having them just for the crack.

• 32:43Declan Donnelly?

  Right, this has started well.

• 32:45Ant McPartlin?

  I would like to offer.

• 32:46Declan Donnelly?

  This better be a great swap.

• 32:48Ant McPartlin?

  I would like to offer my slippers to you. They're the most comfy slippers I've ever had. Prob's worth about the same dosh, to be fair, as your high top trainers. I've only had them a month, so they don't smell too bad. Respect guys. John from Jarrah.

• 33:05Declan Donnelly?

  John, you rubbed me up the wrong way.

• 33:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 33:08Declan Donnelly?

  From the very first word, which was?

• 33:10Ant McPartlin?

  His first words were love the pod. Did that rub you up the wrong way?

• 33:14Declan Donnelly?

  No, I quite liked that bit.

• 33:15Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but then when he went on to say he didn't like them and the mingin'.

• 33:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. No respect. Respect, guys.

• 33:21Ant McPartlin?

  He says respect, guys. There was no respect, guys. You're right. So, I mean, let's... Are you eating biscuits? Are the biscuits here? Oh, great. Okay, let's get on with this. Next swap.

• 33:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 33:30Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, team. Hi. Everybody, Alex. Oh, you're not part of the team? Such a loner. He's quite a loner, isn't he? Isn't he, though? We need me... might have to go on like a team building exercise, Alex.

• 33:45Declan Donnelly?

  Let's go bowling.

• 33:46Ant McPartlin?

  Let's go pinballing. What could possibly go wrong?

• 33:50Ant McPartlin?

  My swap offer for Dex trainers is thus. I added that. I've been wracking my brains trying to come up with a swap worthy of such an amazing item.

• 33:59Declan Donnelly?

  Well, this is a good start.

• 34:01Ant McPartlin?

  Sadly, we spend all of our money on holidays and gigs, so we don't have many physical possessions worth trading. That's a good way to live your life, isn't it? Less material stuff, more experiences.

• 34:11Declan Donnelly?

  Making memories.

• 34:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly. Listening to the show has become very apparent. There are loads of places around the world you'd both like to go to.

• 34:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 34:19Ant McPartlin?

  But have never actually been. And, given your criteria for how shares seems to get bigger by the week, I think what you really need is an expert travel planner. I've worked in the travel industry for nearly 30 years and now run my own travel agency business. So, in exchange for Dex's amazing trainers, I'd like to offer my travel planning services. You tell me when you want to go and what you want from your holiday, and I'll do the rest. I'll plan everything for you down to the finest detail. I genuinely love planning holidays, and if I do say so myself, I'm bloody good at it. Hope you consider my offer. Respect, guys. Trudy.

• 34:56Declan Donnelly?

  Trudy?

• 34:57Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, there's a PS. I do also arrange golf holidays.

• 35:04Declan Donnelly?

  I mean, Trudy, you had me at holidays. Then you mentioned golf holidays. Let's put Trudy on the shortlist.

• 35:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yes!

• 35:12Declan Donnelly?

  I like the sound of Trudy.

• 35:13Ant McPartlin?

  We are Trudy madly deeply in love with that one. That's good, isn't it?

• 35:18Declan Donnelly?

  That is good.

• 35:19Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good shortlist. Let him rubbish over here. Let's see which pile we're gonna add to next. With the next swap. Hi, Aunt Deck and team.

• 35:27Declan Donnelly?

  Hi.

• 35:27Ant McPartlin?

  Hi. Thank you, Alex. You heard him then, didn't you? Really audible. Well done, one of the lads. Hi, lads. Loving the pod. I'm a long-term fan. I used to have Tonight and Free on vinyl.

• 35:37Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, blimey.

• 35:37Ant McPartlin?

  So this proves both my legitimacy and my age. My husband Craig, who's five foot five.

• 35:45Ant McPartlin?

  He's a true short king. Never spends money on himself. When I first met him, he had enough clothes to fill half a bin bag and on exactly one plate, one fork and one spoon. So I would absolutely love to get him something he can wear with pride from another fellow small king.

• 36:02Ant McPartlin?

  And cherish forever. Oh, at least until the souls perish. In exchange for the shoes, I would like to offer my prized possession, Declan.

• 36:10Declan Donnelly?

  Craig?

• 36:10Ant McPartlin?

  No. This.

• 36:14Declan Donnelly?

  What the heck is that?

• 36:16Ant McPartlin?

  It's my cabbage patch doll. Bit of background on the doll, if you'd like.

• 36:20Declan Donnelly?

  Do I need it? I'm not sure I need it.

• 36:23Ant McPartlin?

  I'm gonna give it to you anyway. Bit of background, my mum refused to buy me one of these as a child because she claimed they were ugly and expensive.

• 36:32Declan Donnelly?

  Which is exactly why you're going on that pile over there.

• 36:35Ant McPartlin?

  So at my ripe old middle age, it's all of, I finally fulfilled my childhood dream and bought myself one from Vinted. Craig absolutely hates it. It lives in our living room and I regularly reposition it so it appears to be watching him. He claims it's possessed, although there's currently no evidence to support this accusation. Please do not let that put you off.

• 36:56Declan Donnelly?

  It has.

• 36:56Ant McPartlin?

  To show my love for my husband, I'm prepared to sacrifice the doll.

• 36:59Declan Donnelly?

  You what?

• 37:02Declan Donnelly?

  Ritually.

• 37:03Ant McPartlin?

  This will make Craig happy because he'll have new shoes and a doll-free living room. Cheers. Kelly Wheatman.

• 37:10Declan Donnelly?

  Well, thanks for that, Kelly. But no thanks.

• 37:13Ant McPartlin?

  Look at the tights on the doll.

• 37:17Ant McPartlin?

  The tights are horrendous, aren't they? I don't know why it's the tights that I'm so offended by, but it's, it is the tights, look. It's a no. Cabbage patch doll is a no.

• 37:26Declan Donnelly?

  It's definitely a no. Never wanted one when I was a kid, just don't want one now I'm an adult.

• 37:30Ant McPartlin?

  Well, nice try, Kelly, but you're going on the no pile.

• 37:33Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry, Craig.

• 37:34Ant McPartlin?

  It's not working out too well, is it?

• 37:35Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not.

• 37:36Ant McPartlin?

  You've got two potential swaps for the shortlist. Next one. Hiya.

• 37:40Declan Donnelly?

  Hiya.

• 37:40Ant McPartlin?

  My name is Lily and I would like to submit my swap for Deck. My husband is obsessed with Adidas, so he would love these and they're in his size.

• 37:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's good.

• 37:50Ant McPartlin?

  I would like to offer my aunt. Deck of cards.

• 37:55Declan Donnelly?

  What? Oh, what?

• 37:57Ant McPartlin?

  Now it makes sense now I've seen the photo. I would like to offer my aunt deck of cards. They are professional magic cards.

• 38:03Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 38:04Ant McPartlin?

  And I'm sure they'll be a great addition to the collection of hobbies you are now accumulating. You haven't accumulated any yet, have you? Lots of love, Lily. Well, you're not accumulating any hobbies, are you?

• 38:14Declan Donnelly?

  Not yet, no.

• 38:15Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you could start with magic.

• 38:17Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 38:18Ant McPartlin?

  Magic cards with my name on them.

• 38:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 38:21Ant McPartlin?

  You like a bit of magic as well, don't you?

• 38:22Declan Donnelly?

  I do like a bit of magic.

• 38:22Ant McPartlin?

  Britain's Got Talent, he loves a bit of magic.

• 38:24Declan Donnelly?

  I love the magic.

• 38:24Ant McPartlin?

  And you're always trying to work out how it's been done. You're speaking to magicians. You're speaking to the magician guy who works at BGT. I see you. I can see you down in the auditorium chatting to the magician guy. You'd love these. I'm not telling you what you'd love, but you'd love them.

• 38:37Declan Donnelly?

  I like the look of these.

• 38:39Speaker 05

  Will you get Stephen to come on and teach you a magic?

• 38:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we'll get Mulhern to come on, teach you some magic with your aunt cards.

• 38:45Declan Donnelly?

  Mm hmm. Okay. Interesting.

• 38:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 38:48Declan Donnelly?

  It's on the shortlist.

• 38:50Ant McPartlin?

  Two more.

• 38:50Declan Donnelly?

  Right, come on then.

• 38:51Ant McPartlin?

  I'll quickly get through them for you. Hi Ant Dec, it's Amber here with the return of the distinguished pig.

• 38:55Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, we like the distinguished pig.

• 38:57Ant McPartlin?

  Now, I didn't want to have to do this, but for Dex trainers, I will swap both of my pigs. The distinguished gentleman and the pig in the bikini.

• 39:09Ant McPartlin?

  I believe they could be great companions for baby John Pork on your shelf. The aforementioned first house purchase is now nearing completion. And as much as I would absolutely love my pigs on display in the new home, I would love nothing more than Dex trainers on display. As a little memento to remember this weird time in our lives when we were growing up and renovating our first house alongside desperately trying to swap pigs on Ant Dec's podcast. Respect, guys. Amber, go and describe the pigs.

• 39:33Declan Donnelly?

  The distinguished pig, he looks distinguished. He's got a monocle and a top hat and he's sat there looking all distinguished. The other one, she's got her sunglasses on her head and a little luminous bikini. And she's lying on her tummy.

• 39:45Ant McPartlin?

  With her trotters in the air.

• 39:47Declan Donnelly?

  Just looking all sexy and sultry with those come to bed eyes.

• 39:51Ant McPartlin?

  And if she was saying anything, it looks like she'd be saying, hiya. Hi, guys.

• 39:58Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 39:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah?

• 39:59Declan Donnelly?

  I like them.

• 39:59Ant McPartlin?

  Possibility?

• 40:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, put them on the shortlist.

• 40:01Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Good. Next one. Hi, Ant Dec and gang. Hi. What a dilemma.

• 40:08Declan Donnelly?

  Huh?

• 40:09Ant McPartlin?

  The trainers would be perfect for me. Perfect fit. But I'm afraid to say I'm not cool or trendy enough to pull them off. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I hope I haven't ruined your week, but I'm afraid this week the silver tap shoes are off the table.

• 40:24Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 40:25Ant McPartlin?

  That's a shame, isn't it?

• 40:26Declan Donnelly?

  That is a shame.

• 40:26Ant McPartlin?

  Because I liked that being on the list every week, but she's not on the list.

• 40:29Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, thanks for letting us know, Caroline.

• 40:30Ant McPartlin?

  Don't be too disheartened though that the tap shoes weren't available for this swap.

• 40:34Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 40:35Ant McPartlin?

  Because have a look at this. Hiya, boys. I'm absolutely loving the famous guy swaps and I'd like to throw this into the mix. I present to you an item that I feel captures the spirit of the show. The item would look wonderful on the shelves behind you. It's a 3D printed photo crystal of Caroline's tap shoes.

• 40:52Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 40:53Ant McPartlin?

  Love Hannah. It's got Hanging Out at Lantern Deck, the tap shoes embossed inside a crystal. And you can spin them around, you can see them from every angle.

• 41:04Declan Donnelly?

  It is good.

• 41:05Ant McPartlin?

  How amazing is that? They're good, aren't they?

• 41:06Declan Donnelly?

  It is good.

• 41:07Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, that's a tick. The final swap is from Dan, who is a custom shoe and sneaker artist based in Manchester and a huge fan of the podcast. I specialise in creating one-off pieces on shoes and trainers. And I was thinking, instead of a swap, you'll have to get rid of the trainers that we now know are worth over £400. You could send Dan the trainers and he could create something really special like that and then send them back.

• 41:36Declan Donnelly?

  I like the idea of that.

• 41:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I see.

• 41:37Declan Donnelly?

  Now, let me tell you what my idea is from that. Why don't we send them to Dan, put our faces on, Hanging Out at Lantern Deck, make them Hanging Out Adidas trainers, and then I'll swap them with somebody.

• 41:48Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, this, this is not in the rules. This is, this is not a roll over and it's not a swap. It's messing with my mind.

• 41:53Declan Donnelly?

  So why don't we send these?

• 41:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well, what do we do with the shortlist?

• 41:58Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, poohree!

• 42:01Declan Donnelly?

  This is the first time I've worn them in eight years. So why don't we send them to Dan, get him to jazz them up, send them back and then I'll swap the new jazzy ones.

• 42:12Ant McPartlin?

  So we're saying, that means we have to say no to the shortlist. So we have to say no to

• 42:17Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, no, yeah.

• 42:18Ant McPartlin?

  Tap shoes in crystal. We have to say no to the money being raised for the Scout Jamboree with their wooden map. We have to say no to the golf holiday, which would have featured me. And we have to say no to the deck of cards with my name on. And we have to say no to the distinguished pig and Sydney Sweeney pig. We're going to send these to Dan, yeah?

• 42:47Declan Donnelly?

  I think we should send them to Dan, get him to do some arty work on them.

• 42:52Ant McPartlin?

  And we'll re-swap.

• 42:53Declan Donnelly?

  And we'll re-swap after that.

• 42:54Ant McPartlin?

  Do you have a pair of shoes to go home with today?

• 42:56Declan Donnelly?

  No, I don't.

• 42:58Ant McPartlin?

  Good, take them away. Alright, well there you go. That's all we've got. Time for on Famous Guy Swaps Things. I'm afraid it hasn't ended the way I know we like, which is with a swap.

• 43:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 43:07Ant McPartlin?

  And it hasn't rolled over because I'd like to have tried that, but you didn't do that.

• 43:11Declan Donnelly?

  Well, this is kind of a roll over.

• 43:12Ant McPartlin?

  I think we keep the shortlist of what we had, but you can add.

• 43:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, okay. So the shortlist is, everybody else has gone.

• 43:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 43:19Declan Donnelly?

  And we'll get Dan to do his work.

• 43:22Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 43:22Declan Donnelly?

  And send in anything else if you want to swap the new arty, arty trainers.

• 43:29Declan Donnelly?

  This podcast is brought to you by Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant. So you're trying to expand your vocabulary.

• 43:36Ant McPartlin?

  I am.

• 43:36Declan Donnelly?

  So you want more?

• 43:37Ant McPartlin?

  I want more words I can use.

• 43:40Declan Donnelly?

  Round the kids.

• 43:41Ant McPartlin?

  That aren't swear words.

• 43:42Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that always helps.

• 43:44Ant McPartlin?

  Shall I use Gemini?

• 43:46Declan Donnelly?

  Give it a bash.

• 43:46Ant McPartlin?

  Shall I?

• 43:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 43:47Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 43:47Declan Donnelly?

  See what they can come up with.

• 43:48Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Gemini, what are some baby friendly words I can use instead of swear words? That's a good idea. You could use silly.

• 43:57Declan Donnelly?

  Words like blimey or jeepers. Is there anything a bit more modern, a bit more Gen Z?

• 44:05Speaker 05

  In that case, you could use things like bra, that's wild. Or just a dramatic oof.

• 44:13Ant McPartlin?

  I mean, if I say the word bra, it feels like I'm trying a bit too hard. Gemini, what does beast mode mean?

• 44:22Speaker 05

  It means putting in maximum effort and determination to achieve something. Does that make sense?

• 44:28Ant McPartlin?

  It does. I could use that.

• 44:29Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 44:30Ant McPartlin?

  You should enter beast mode when tidying those toys away.

• 44:34Declan Donnelly?

  Huh? Bro, bro.

• 44:37Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks, Gemini. With Gemini, you can chat live with a truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details, or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or camera as well. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 44:53Declan Donnelly?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

• 44:58Ant McPartlin?

  Chat responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies. Eighteen plus.

• 45:06Speaker 00

  Streaming October 30th on Paramount Plus.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you.

• 45:13Speaker 07

  You're having a midlife crisis.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  I'm not ready for that.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 45:21Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Things are gonna get messy, but if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 45:30Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection, new season October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 46:03Declan Donnelly?

  Ready for a bit diary?

• 46:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I am. Play the jingle.

• 46:27Declan Donnelly?

  Oh man, I wish I'd been drunk earlier still.

• 46:30Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, how good's that?

• 46:32Declan Donnelly?

  That is really good.

• 46:33Ant McPartlin?

  I wish we had that from the beginning, that would have been good, wouldn't it?

• 46:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that is a good one.

• 46:36Ant McPartlin?

  Just trying to give the show a little oomph when you need it.

• 46:40Declan Donnelly?

  Just starting to sag.

• 46:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:42Declan Donnelly?

  Give it a bit.

• 46:43Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks Sebastian. The crab. How does he play that with his clothes?

• 46:51Declan Donnelly?

  We're on the day 20 of Life on the Road.

• 46:53Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, how many weeks we got left?

• 46:54Declan Donnelly?

  Twenty, we finish on day 24.

• 46:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, month left, that's it.

• 46:59Declan Donnelly?

  We're nearing the end.

• 47:00Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, and then the podcast finishes. What a shame.

• 47:03Declan Donnelly?

  Then that's the end, yeah, the end of the pod. The 16th of April 1994, day 20. What's up doc? Went really, really well.

• 47:13Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes, of course, the show we shot in maid's doors.

• 47:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 47:17Ant McPartlin?

  Studios.

• 47:18Declan Donnelly?

  It's just a shame Live and Kicking had Take That on the other side.

• 47:21Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, how's your luck? How's your luck? No one's gonna watch us on What's Up Doc and Take That on Live and Kicking on the other side.

• 47:28Declan Donnelly?

  Nah, no way. Take That were massive at the time, weren't they?

• 47:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 47:33Declan Donnelly?

  Having number ones all in a row. Ahwell, I've said.

• 47:36Ant McPartlin?

  How'd you spell it?

• 47:38Declan Donnelly?

  A-H.

• 47:39Ant McPartlin?

  Ahwell.

• 47:41Declan Donnelly?

  Ahwell. Had a really lazy afternoon and went back to bed for a couple of hours.

• 47:49Ant McPartlin?

  Did I?

• 47:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 47:50Ant McPartlin?

  Wow, I'd never do that anymore. Can't nap anymore now, can't nap now. Oh, I wish I could nap.

• 47:56Declan Donnelly?

  I read fan mail.

• 48:02Ant McPartlin?

  You read fan mail?

• 48:04Declan Donnelly?

  Apparently so.

• 48:05Ant McPartlin?

  How I like to while away the hours, read how much people love us. I read fan mail.

• 48:13Declan Donnelly?

  You just went to bed for a kip.

• 48:15Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 48:15Declan Donnelly?

  I engaged with the fans.

• 48:18Ant McPartlin?

  That's not engaging, that's just reading how much people love you. If you engaged, that would be I replied to fan mail, but no, I read fan mail.

• 48:27Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I didn't reply to it.

• 48:28Ant McPartlin?

  Just to make myself feel better.

• 48:29Declan Donnelly?

  Then we were off to Boreham Wood for a birthday party.

• 48:32Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 48:34Declan Donnelly?

  So this was my ex-girlfriend, or my girlfriend at the time's birthday party.

• 48:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 48:38Declan Donnelly?

  We went and spent a couple of hours. I didn't want to leave, but alas, I had to.

• 48:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 48:44Declan Donnelly?

  We left just before 10 o'clock to get to Southampton.

• 48:48Ant McPartlin?

  What the hell were we doing down there?

• 48:50Declan Donnelly?

  To do a late night TV show.

• 48:53Ant McPartlin?

  In Southampton, what was that?

• 48:55Declan Donnelly?

  It was some regional TV show. I remember, I remember doing it.

• 48:57Ant McPartlin?

  Dear.

• 48:58Declan Donnelly?

  We had to leave the party and get to Southampton and it was like a really late night, local TV show on the south coast.

• 49:05Ant McPartlin?

  Really?

• 49:06Declan Donnelly?

  And we complained about doing it and like, oh yeah, no, it's gonna sell records, it's gonna sell lots of records.

• 49:11Ant McPartlin?

  It didn't.

• 49:12Declan Donnelly?

  The bloke was really nice, but I doubt if it sold many records.

• 49:16Ant McPartlin?

  There you go.

• 49:17Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, well.

• 49:19Ant McPartlin?

  Again, again.

• 49:20Declan Donnelly?

  It is, well, every bit counts. And that was the end of day twenty.

• 49:24Ant McPartlin?

  You seem a bit annoyed at the end of day twenty, don't you? A bit frustrated with life on the road.

• 49:28Declan Donnelly?

  I left the birthday party.

• 49:30Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you didn't wanna leave.

• 49:31Declan Donnelly?

  Didn't wanna leave a party.

• 49:32Ant McPartlin?

  Cute.

• 49:33Declan Donnelly?

  But next week, it's chart day.

• 49:36Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 49:38Declan Donnelly?

  Remember we had our midweek of number twenty five?

• 49:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 49:40Declan Donnelly?

  We get our chart position in next week's diary.

• 49:44Ant McPartlin?

  I'll look forward to that. Good, good, good, good, good.

• 49:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, nearing the end now. Only a couple of weeks left, only a few days before I lose interest in keeping a diary in nineteen nineties.

• 49:55Ant McPartlin?

  Do you pick back up at all?

• 49:56Declan Donnelly?

  Nah.

• 49:57Ant McPartlin?

  In the two thousands?

• 49:58Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 49:58Ant McPartlin?

  There's no other diaries?

• 49:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, this is it. Might start one again now.

• 50:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you should.

• 50:02Declan Donnelly?

  And then we can read it in ten years' time when we're still doing the podcast.

• 50:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. And apparently when it's sold across the world and turned into a TV show, because that's what the fortune teller said was gonna happen. The psychic sister, she said that.

• 50:13Declan Donnelly?

  Can't wait for that.

• 50:14Ant McPartlin?

  But I think that's all we've got time for. Although, we did ask for biscuits at the start of this.

• 50:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:21Ant McPartlin?

  And we were gonna show each other our biscuits.

• 50:25Declan Donnelly?

  I've sneaked mine into me drawer. Do you wanna go third place, second place, first place?

• 50:29Ant McPartlin?

  When you went to the toilet, we put yours in the drawer. Oh, you put mine in there? Great, okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well done.

• 50:34Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, so.

• 50:35Ant McPartlin?

  Producing that is. You produced that all well by hiding my biscuits.

• 50:40Declan Donnelly?

  Pull out your third place biscuit. I reckon your third place biscuit is some sort of malted milk. True or false?

• 50:47Ant McPartlin?

  False. Incorrect. I think your third place biscuit is a garabaldi.

• 50:53Declan Donnelly?

  Incorrect. My third place biscuit is a bourbon cream.

• 50:58Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 51:00Declan Donnelly?

  What do you mean a lovely, it's a lovely donker?

• 51:03Ant McPartlin?

  My third place biscuit is a chocolate hobnob.

• 51:07Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, hobnobs made it to third?

• 51:10Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm. Third place.

• 51:12Declan Donnelly?

  Blimey.

• 51:13Ant McPartlin?

  There's two I like more than this in the world.

• 51:16Declan Donnelly?

  Wowzers.

• 51:17Ant McPartlin?

  I'm surprised at Bowman. I get it like when we were kids and there was very limited choice, but there's so much choice these days and you've still gone with that.

• 51:25Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 51:26Ant McPartlin?

  It's not even nice chocolate.

• 51:28Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 51:30Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 51:30Declan Donnelly?

  A good dunker.

• 51:32Ant McPartlin?

  All right. Third place.

• 51:34Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 51:34Ant McPartlin?

  Not having a little nibble?

• 51:36Declan Donnelly?

  No, I'm saving myself.

• 51:37Ant McPartlin?

  Till when?

• 51:38Declan Donnelly?

  First place.

• 51:40Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 51:40Declan Donnelly?

  Second place biscuits. Is your second place biscuit a malted milk?

• 51:44Ant McPartlin?

  Correct.

• 51:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 51:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, it is.

• 51:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 51:48Ant McPartlin?

  I love these biscuits so much. They're so cheap, but I love them.

• 51:53Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that's exactly why I like the Bourbons.

• 51:55Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, good point. Is yours a cookie?

• 51:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 51:58Ant McPartlin?

  It is. It is a cookie.

• 52:01Declan Donnelly?

  Any kind of chocolate chip cookie. I love.

• 52:04Ant McPartlin?

  I knew it. So we do know each other. Okay. A little nibble of that one, just to be fair.

• 52:09Declan Donnelly?

  I'm saving it. Time for the number one biscuit.

• 52:12Ant McPartlin?

  Reveal your winning biscuit in three, two, one.

• 52:16Declan Donnelly?

  Ah. Chocolate digestive.

• 52:20Ant McPartlin?

  Ginger nut. Why do you have to be ginger nut?

• 52:24Declan Donnelly?

  Tell us why I like ginger nut.

• 52:25Ant McPartlin?

  I love ginger biscuits. I love ginger cake. I like ginger biscuits. I actually like ginger thins.

• 52:31Declan Donnelly?

  What are they?

• 52:32Ant McPartlin?

  They're a bit middle class though.

• 52:33Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, are they?

• 52:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but ginger. But these are like your proper working class ginger nut.

• 52:36Declan Donnelly?

  Ginger nut.

• 52:37Ant McPartlin?

  They're a very good dunker and I like the little fiery kick you get of ginger.

• 52:40Declan Donnelly?

  Mmm, nice.

• 52:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yourself?

• 52:43Declan Donnelly?

  Chocolate digestive. Chocolate digestive, classic, just wheaty biscuit.

• 52:48Ant McPartlin?

  Show us how you eat it.

• 52:48Declan Donnelly?

  Chocolate on top and of course you have to eat it properly.

• 52:51Ant McPartlin?

  Go on. Chocolate down.

• 52:54Declan Donnelly?

  Chocolate down.

• 52:55Ant McPartlin?

  Chocolate down so it hits your tongue.

• 52:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. You get the chocolate hit.

• 52:59Ant McPartlin?

  It makes sense. Do you like to dunk them? I love to dunk these. If I only had a cup of tea, but no one of you got me one.

• 53:04Speaker 05

  Has it got a nice snap?

• 53:07Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 53:07Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I went everywhere. Snap. Mmm.

• 53:10Declan Donnelly?

  Are they all right on the teeth?

• 53:12Ant McPartlin?

  I prefer the Dunkin' if I'm honest with you.

• 53:16Ant McPartlin?

  Very good.

• 53:16Declan Donnelly?

  You're coming quite hard, can't you?

• 53:17Ant McPartlin?

  That's our top three biscuits. That's a good way to end the pod, isn't it?

• 53:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I'm gonna go and get another cup of tea now. Would you like a cup of tea?

• 53:24Ant McPartlin?

  I'll have a cup of tea, not another cup of tea. Yes, please.

• 53:27Declan Donnelly?

  We'll be back on Monday with the bonus pod.

• 53:29Ant McPartlin?

  And next week for a main pod where I'll talk about legends.

• 53:33Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, the Steve Coogan Netflix.

• 53:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I'll give you a little banana rating for that.

• 53:37Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, I'll give that a watch then as well.

• 53:39Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 53:39Declan Donnelly?

  Until then though, respect guys.

• 53:41Ant McPartlin?

  Respect guys.

• 53:42Declan Donnelly?

  See you later.

• 53:42Ant McPartlin?

  I'm taking all of these.

• 53:44Declan Donnelly?

  I'm gonna finish me digestive.

• 53:45Ant McPartlin?

  I'm gonna put the kettle on.

• 53:46Declan Donnelly?

  I need some shoes.

• 53:48Declan Donnelly?

  I haven't got any shoes.

• 53:49Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, do you want a penny bag? Come on, get on. Hey!

• 53:52Declan Donnelly?

  I'm going.

• 53:53Ant McPartlin?

  Bye guys!

• 53:55Declan Donnelly?

  Where are they?

• 53:55Ant McPartlin?

  Bye! No, nowhere.

• 54:04Speaker 00

  Streaming October 30th on Paramount Plus.

• 54:07Ant McPartlin?

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you.

• 54:12Speaker 07

  You're having a midlife crisis.

• 54:13Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not ready for this.

• 54:15Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 54:16Ant McPartlin?

  I'm older, I'm wiser.

• 54:20Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 54:21Ant McPartlin?

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 54:28Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection. New season October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 54:35Speaker 05

  It's getting chilly outside. But you know what that means?

• 54:41Speaker 05

  It's time to cozy up with Panera Bread. Let's get toasty, cheesy. Oh, hello broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. How about melty? Okay, Chipotle chicken ovo melt. It's dipping bread and soupy goodness season. Oh yeah, we are so back. It's Panera season. Order now.