Ant's Shocked By Gary Oldman & Dec’s A Great Uncle!

This week, the boys discover a GHOST IN THE STUDIO, Ant has a new foxy friend, and Dec is expecting twins... or is he? Ant’s also started new beef with an Oscar winner, Gary Oldman, Dec is campaigning to bring back Word of the Day and find out which National Treasure can’t tell the boys apart - but if anyone can get away with it, they can!! As always, we dive into your postbag, tattoos, and share some new TV recommendations. Keep your correspondence coming to [email protected] and sign off your email using the name you'd like us to use; if you don't want your surname mentioned, please don't add it, and it you'd like a full name shout out, throw it all in there! ----- 00:00 - Coming up04:45 - A Great Niece & David Attenborough10:15 - Ant’s Foxy Friend12:10 - Bring Back Word of the Day?17:55 - Ant & Dec’s Hobbies22:25 - Banana TV ratings26:15 - Tattoo Suggestions32:28 - Postbag ----- Your personal data will be handled in accordance with applicable data protection laws and will only be retained for as long as is reasonably necessary for production, editorial, legal and compliance purposes. You can read more about our privacy policy at: ⁠⁠https://www.mitrestudios.com/privacy-policy/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 1:30Declan Donnelly?

  Coming up on the show, Ant Swap finally arrives, and it's not annoying. It has a strange force.

• 1:38Ant McPartlin?

  The fall is. We create a lot of clickbait. Deck, are you expecting twins? Yes. Yes.

• 1:45Declan Donnelly?

  Ant starts a new beef with an Oscar winner.

• 1:48Ant McPartlin?

  And then I'll come and find you backstage and we'll have it out. I talk about my encounter with David Attenborough. And he went, congratulations to you, Ant or Deck.

• 1:57Declan Donnelly?

  Good job it wasn't me, I would have smashed his bracelet.

• 2:00Ant McPartlin?

  Plus, loads more of your postbag. Enjoy the show. I'm going to talk about BTS.

• 2:10Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, hello. Oh, Ant, Ant, come in, quick, quick. Good morning, everybody. Good morning, good evening. Welcome back to the hangout.

• 2:19Ant McPartlin?

  Stop your chitter-chatter.

• 2:20Declan Donnelly?

  There's been a delivery.

• 2:21Ant McPartlin?

  Stop your jibber-jabber.

• 2:22Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, there's a cardboard box on the table here. And it's got a big sign on the front saying, Ant's Swap.

• 2:27Ant McPartlin?

  I don't remember ordering a TV bracket.

• 2:30Declan Donnelly?

  That's not what you swap for.

• 2:31Ant McPartlin?

  Better not be a TV bracket.

• 2:33Declan Donnelly?

  TV bracket box.

• 2:34Ant McPartlin?

  I remember swapping for something very particular.

• 2:39Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 2:39Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, we got, and these are free? These are free gift? Tater Crisps, my favourite crisps of all time.

• 2:46Declan Donnelly?

  They're amazing.

• 2:47Ant McPartlin?

  There you go, you hold on to them.

• 2:48Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yes.

• 2:49Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, my God, it's here. It's here. So if you missed the pod a few weeks ago, I swapped my golf clubs for a bit of golf memorabilia. Shall I go out and put it on?

• 2:59Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 2:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, hold on then. There's nothing else in there, is there? There's a letter. Read that letter, will you? To the viewers.

• 3:04Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 3:05Ant McPartlin?

  Because I know you're not good left on your own because you won't know what to say if I'm not here.

• 3:08Declan Donnelly?

  I'm getting very shy.

• 3:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he gets very, very camera shy. I'll be back in a moment.

• 3:12Declan Donnelly?

  Nice banana card saying, thanks a bunch. So this is from Amy and Tom. Hi, guys. We're so grateful you picked us for the swap. I promise I'll take good care of Ant's clubs. I hope you have better luck with them than he did. I remember you mentioned on the podcast that tater crisps are always better in Ireland. So I've thrown some of those in.

• 3:30Ant McPartlin?

  Quiet, please. Quiet, please. How good is this? How good is this?

• 3:36Declan Donnelly?

  That is brilliant.

• 3:36Ant McPartlin?

  This is, and I can just do that when you've said too much.

• 3:40Declan Donnelly?

  When I go on a bit.

• 3:44Ant McPartlin?

  This is perfect.

• 3:45Declan Donnelly?

  It has a strange, it has a strange force. That it just makes me stop talking whenever he uses it.

• 3:54Ant McPartlin?

  It's a good swish. Can you hear the swish? Good swisher. Just get him and hit you, don't you?

• 3:59Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, I am.

• 4:00Ant McPartlin?

  Not. You talk that with the quiet, please, sign us up.

• 4:04Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry, I shouldn't.

• 4:07Ant McPartlin?

  The fire, ew.

• 4:11Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my god, that's so good. What was he saying in his card?

• 4:14Declan Donnelly?

  Basically cheers.

• 4:15Ant McPartlin?

  Ah yeah, cheers to you too. This is brilliant. You don't have to be quiet though. This wasn't, I wasn't, I was just showing the viewer, I wasn't, this wasn't held up. You'll know when I hold it up, all right? That's how I hold it up.

• 4:29Declan Donnelly?

  Amy said, Tom wanted me to point out, he got everything when he worked as a stand student at the Portrush Open. We are not sending stolen goods.

• 4:37Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, thank you. Because I'm already wearing it and I'm already using it. So I would be an accessory to stolen stuff. And this

• 4:46Ant McPartlin?

  is the flag. Signed by no one. We could, uh, could get that signed? Could we get that signed?

• 4:53Declan Donnelly?

  By who?

• 4:54Ant McPartlin?

  By someone who played in the Open that year. Not by him, he's not a famous golfer, but this is.

• 5:02Ant McPartlin?

  Doesn't work so well, well. It's only when I'm going to attack you.

• 5:07Declan Donnelly?

  You get the swish when you're quieting me down.

• 5:10Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, this has been signed by somebody. We're not sure who.

• 5:13Declan Donnelly?

  Tom can't remember who he got it signed by.

• 5:15Ant McPartlin?

  Tom can't remember. We'll put that through AI, uh, to figure it out. AI being Fiona and Jemima. And they can figure out who that golfer is. But that's very, very good. That is the best swap we've had. Let's have a go.

• 5:30Ant McPartlin?

  Don't hit us with it.

• 5:30Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry, I couldn't get the swish. Oh, let me try again.

• 5:35Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, you idiot, giving me that, man. Right. Untangle me from my bib.

• 5:42Declan Donnelly?

  Undress me. It's like watching Virgin Island all over again.

• 5:46Ant McPartlin?

  When I put a bib on Wilder now for his dinner, I can just put my own bib on. Danny's doing it too. Don't say no, Danny's got his own bib. That is so cool. We'll get that in a frame and we'll get that on the shelf. And, uh, these I will just wear around the house. Thank you very much, Tom.

• 6:02Declan Donnelly?

  With nothing else.

• 6:03Ant McPartlin?

  Great swap. How have you been?

• 6:05Declan Donnelly?

  Good. Quite an exciting week. I have become.

• 6:10Ant McPartlin?

  A dad again. Congratulations. Name me number three on the way. Congratulations. Just clip that bit off a clip bit. Just get that to get everybody watching the pod.

• 6:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's like those awful AI adverts that are on. I get people keep sending me, they go, oh my congratulations, you're gonna be. No, we have not.

• 6:30Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. It's always you having more kids.

• 6:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, crazy. No, I have become a grand uncle. Is that a, no, a great uncle. A great uncle.

• 6:41Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 6:42Declan Donnelly?

  Great uncle. No, not a grand uncle, that's weird. Great uncle. My nephew, Matthew and his wife have just had their first little baby. So it's my mum's first great granddaughter.

• 6:55Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 6:56Declan Donnelly?

  Great grandchild.

• 6:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Declan Donnelly?

  So that makes me a great uncle, I think.

• 6:59Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, congratulations, yeah.

• 7:01Declan Donnelly?

  I'm a great uncle.

• 7:02Ant McPartlin?

  I love about you. Tell me more about the baby.

• 7:04Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, she's lovely.

• 7:05Ant McPartlin?

  It's a she, it's a girl?

• 7:07Declan Donnelly?

  She took quite a long time to come out.

• 7:08Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 7:09Declan Donnelly?

  She thought about staying in for a bit.

• 7:11Ant McPartlin?

  Liked it in there?

• 7:12Declan Donnelly?

  But she eventually came out. Eight pounds ten, I think she was.

• 7:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 7:16Declan Donnelly?

  Um, so yeah, very, very excited. It's my first great sibling. Great, it's my first great child.

• 7:27Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not quite sure of your terminology, but we get, we get you're very proud, as you should be. That's nice.

• 7:32Declan Donnelly?

  I'm a great uncle.

• 7:33Ant McPartlin?

  Send my love.

• 7:33Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks, I will, I will.

• 7:35Ant McPartlin?

  Please do.

• 7:35Declan Donnelly?

  They are, um, over the moon.

• 7:37Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 7:37Declan Donnelly?

  I've had another little surprise this week as well.

• 7:39Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 7:40Declan Donnelly?

  While I was at home, I had a bit of a, cause that, that went, that was going on and it was been a busy week. And, um, I passed my Alexa in the kitchen.

• 7:50Ant McPartlin?

  Good morning. What do you mean you passed her Alexa in the kitchen? Good morning Alexa, good morning Declan.

• 7:56Declan Donnelly?

  Well, she does say good morning Declan to me.

• 7:57Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 7:57Declan Donnelly?

  I'm the only person in the house that says, good, good morning Declan.

• 8:01Ant McPartlin?

  Does she?

• 8:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. No, nobody else in the house, just me. Good morning Declan. Anyway, she's glowing yellow, which means she's got a notification for me. She said, good morning Declan. David Attenborough is arriving today.

• 8:18Ant McPartlin?

  What? What now? That's a big flex. Have you got a picture of you two together?

• 8:22Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 8:23Ant McPartlin?

  Because that trumps everything. That beats Declan Rice and he's now a league winner.

• 8:26Declan Donnelly?

  She said David Attenborough is arriving today.

• 8:30Ant McPartlin?

  How did he know?

• 8:31Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I thought, I haven't bought anything for his birthday. He's just turned a hundred. I haven't gotten him anything.

• 8:36Ant McPartlin?

  That'd be rude.

• 8:37Declan Donnelly?

  So I was like, what the hell is going on here? I have no recollection of anything David Attenborough related.

• 8:42Ant McPartlin?

  Is that what he's put in the diary?

• 8:43Declan Donnelly?

  So I eventually get to the bottom of it. I have to go and look at my orders. She's bought one of those books, you know, Little People, Big Dreams. Those books, the David Attenborough story.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, right.

• 8:54Declan Donnelly?

  Because it was his 100th birthday and Isla did David Attenborough at school. So she's bought him.

• 8:59Ant McPartlin?

  So it was the book?

• 8:59Declan Donnelly?

  It was the book.

• 9:00Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's a shame, isn't it?

• 9:01Declan Donnelly?

  It was a shame. I thought he was coming, I thought he was coming around.

• 9:03Ant McPartlin?

  We met David Attenborough briefly once at the BAFTAs. And when you win a BAFTA at the end of the ceremony, which is a very long ceremony, they ask all of the winners to hang around in the auditorium, get on stage to have a winner's picture all holding the BAFTAs.

• 9:19Declan Donnelly?

  Quite a nice thing to do.

• 9:20Ant McPartlin?

  It is a lovely thing to do. We got split over on stage. You started talking to somebody from the night manager. You know, I remember I hadn't seen it, so I thought I've got nothing to offer this conversation. I can't even pretend. Because you were talking about storylines and plotlines and all of this kind of stuff. So I just kind of turned and I'm so pleased I did because I turned into David Attenborough. And now, yeah, I turned.

• 9:40Declan Donnelly?

  Turned into him.

• 9:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 9:42Declan Donnelly?

  He turned around and went, here we are.

• 9:44Ant McPartlin?

  Here we are, on stage at the BAFTAs. I turned into David Attenborough and it shocked us that it was, he was so close. And I went, um, and the only thing I could think to say was congratulations. I said, congratulations, David. I really deserved win. I said, I love the series. And he went, congratulations to you and Ordek.

• 10:05Ant McPartlin?

  So he either loves Love Actually and is quoting Bill Nighy in the movie, or he genuinely doesn't have a clue which one's which.

• 10:12Declan Donnelly?

  I'd say the latter. I think the latter.

• 10:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 04

  He's probably the only person he can get away with.

• 10:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, he got away with it all right. I laughed heartily like I've never laughed before.

• 10:22Ant McPartlin?

  How good are you?

• 10:23Declan Donnelly?

  Good job it wasn't me. I would have smashed his face in. Attenborough, not.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  Have you guys seen that Gary Oldman's been talking about eating bananas?

• 10:32Declan Donnelly?

  I did see this. Gary Oldman is in a new play, right? And he has to eat bananas in the play.

• 10:37Ant McPartlin?

  Does he?

• 10:38Declan Donnelly?

  He eats like two bananas every show.

• 10:40Ant McPartlin?

  That's nothing. I have that for breakfast.

• 10:42Declan Donnelly?

  But imagine those shows where he does a matinee and an evening show. That's four bananas a day.

• 10:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 10:48Declan Donnelly?

  Six or seven days a week.

• 10:49Ant McPartlin?

  Piece of piss.

• 10:52Ant McPartlin?

  That's easy, man.

• 10:53Declan Donnelly?

  That's a lot of bananas.

• 10:53Ant McPartlin?

  That's not a lot of bananas.

• 10:55Declan Donnelly?

  Every day?

• 10:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 10:57Declan Donnelly?

  You don't eat bananas every day?

• 10:58Ant McPartlin?

  I do.

• 10:59Declan Donnelly?

  Do you?

• 10:59Ant McPartlin?

  Every day. What's he been saying about eating the bananas? Does he not like bananas?

• 11:03Speaker 04

  He's not into them.

• 11:04Ant McPartlin?

  Gary Oldman's not into them? Oh, I love Gary Oldman. I used to love Gary.

• 11:07Declan Donnelly?

  He's not a big fan, is he? He's not a massive fan of bananas.

• 11:10Ant McPartlin?

  Might be a new beef for me, that. Gary Oldman.

• 11:13Declan Donnelly?

  That's a good one.

• 11:13Ant McPartlin?

  What's your problem, Gary Oldman, with bananas? Huh? Now get me free tickets to your show and I'll come down and watch it. And then I'll come and find you backstage and we'll have it out. Is that good? Is that good for you? Clickbait, isn't it? It's good. Rage bait.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Any other rumours you could start for Clickbait?

• 11:29Ant McPartlin?

  Dec is expecting his third child.

• 11:32Ant McPartlin?

  In fact, I've heard it's twins. It's twins, right?

• 11:35Declan Donnelly?

  According to AI.

• 11:36Ant McPartlin?

  Did you say yes for the twins? Dec, are you expecting twins? Are you expecting twins?

• 11:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 11:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. Use that. Talking of bananas, though, I had a lovely banana moment.

• 11:46Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, banana moment?

• 11:47Ant McPartlin?

  Banana moment. I have lots of banana moments throughout the week because I love them. I play golf on Monday.

• 11:54Declan Donnelly?

  Typically, sorry, typically.

• 11:56Ant McPartlin?

  I'm talking. Hold on.

• 12:00Ant McPartlin?

  Get me quiet police sign out.

• 12:02Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, okay.

• 12:02Ant McPartlin?

  So I played golf. See, you can't actually speak when I've got this on. I played golf on Monday and I always put some bananas in my golf bag. Hold on. I'm putting my quiet police sign down. Don't I?

• 12:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, you do.

• 12:16Ant McPartlin?

  Let's back up. Always put them in your golf bag because I know that I'll get peckish throughout the round. And I was like one or two bananas, but these were quite some more. So I have three bananas in my golf bag. So I was eating the first banana and I thought, I'm gonna just plough straight onto the second one. The quiet police sign is still up.

• 12:34Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry.

• 12:34Ant McPartlin?

  And that goes for your laughing as well. I'm gonna plough straight onto the second banana because I'm still hungry. As I was peeling the second banana, a fox wandered by. And was looking like, I'll put this down now.

• 12:48Declan Donnelly?

  Now you've got me attention, now you've got me attention.

• 12:50Ant McPartlin?

  Looking at me like, I'm hungry too. So I thought, I know, I'll share half of the second banana with the fox. And surprisingly, he took it. Look, I took a video of it. There you go. He's wary, he's wary. He doesn't know what to make of me, understandably so. But then I chuck him a big old chunk of banana. He goes over, he has a little sniff, he's not sure. Takes it in his mouth and he runs off, heartbeat as Larry. And then what I didn't get to film was the third banana came out and he was back at me heels like a dog. You know, when you give a dog a treat and then they run away, eat it and come back. He came back, I'd give him the whole thing. Who knew that that foxes like bananas? Cows eat bananas, now foxes eat bananas. Everybody loves a banana, apart from Gary Oldman.

• 13:34Ant McPartlin?

  Forget Gary. Bang out of order.

• 13:38Declan Donnelly?

  Had a little flick through the comments this week.

• 13:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, you did just watch.

• 13:42Declan Donnelly?

  I like, I have a keen eye on what people are talking about. A lot of people are saying, where on earth is Ant's word of the day gone?

• 13:48Ant McPartlin?

  That's a very good question and I should answer it with one, a one word reply, a really good word reply. If I still had word of the day. But I don't.

• 13:58Declan Donnelly?

  It didn't last, did it? How long did it last?

• 14:00Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it lasted, it lasted till I got bored. So it was a couple of weeks after.

• 14:05Declan Donnelly?

  That was your New Year's resolution?

• 14:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 14:07Declan Donnelly?

  Gone out the window.

• 14:07Ant McPartlin?

  Well, yeah, it lasted till what? May?

• 14:11Declan Donnelly?

  Did you?

• 14:13Ant McPartlin?

  April, May, March.

• 14:14Declan Donnelly?

  Nah.

• 14:15Ant McPartlin?

  February.

• 14:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 14:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, February.

• 14:18Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe end of Jan?

• 14:19Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe, yeah, yeah. I did, no, I was getting the, but I was getting a lot of repeated words. So I'd, I'd already had the words. So then in the end I silenced the notification and moved on with my life.

• 14:32Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's sad.

• 14:33Ant McPartlin?

  Is it? I can pick it back up for you if you want.

• 14:36Declan Donnelly?

  Let us know in the comments.

• 14:37Ant McPartlin?

  Are you that bothered?

• 14:38Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we run a poll?

• 14:40Ant McPartlin?

  Are you that bothered?

• 14:40Declan Donnelly?

  Are you bothered about Ant's word of the day?

• 14:42Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not, I'm not that bothered. So please don't be bothered. I don't really want to have to go through it again.

• 14:48Declan Donnelly?

  Have you lost interest in expanding your vocabulary?

• 14:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 14:53Declan Donnelly?

  You've got enough words.

• 14:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I've got enough words, got enough friends, got enough words.

• 14:56Declan Donnelly?

  Got enough friends, got enough words.

• 14:58Ant McPartlin?

  I would definitely want to play words with friends. I've got enough of both.

• 15:05Declan Donnelly?

  This next segment is an advert for Santander who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible and the road to owning can be a bumpy one. And it's an agony and and dare.

• 15:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, good, good. I do like these.

• 15:18Declan Donnelly?

  This time it is first time buyers edition.

• 15:21Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 15:22Declan Donnelly?

  I've got some dilemmas sent to us.

• 15:25Ant McPartlin?

  Hit me.

• 15:25Declan Donnelly?

  I've got one here from Stephen.

• 15:27Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Stephen.

• 15:27Declan Donnelly?

  Dear agony and and dare, I've just bought my first home with my partner and I'm a little bit worried about bills because it's quite a drafty house. Now we're arriving in the summer months, I thought fantastic, we could turn the heating off. However.

• 15:39Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what?

• 15:39Declan Donnelly?

  My partner is cold blooded and she wants it kept on. In the winter, I negotiated hard to find the balance of her being warm at home but not breaking the bank. So when we arrived in spring and the sun came out, I thought, wonderful, we'll turn that off and she'll be fine. Alas, that is not the case. Any ideas how to find a compromise?

• 15:57Ant McPartlin?

  Buy her some jumpers.

• 15:59Declan Donnelly?

  That's, that's all you can do.

• 16:00Ant McPartlin?

  You can't be leaving the heating on during the summer. That is, that's a waste of money.

• 16:04Declan Donnelly?

  Don't you have a similar problem to this at home?

• 16:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, my wife gets very cold.

• 16:08Declan Donnelly?

  And you're quite the sweater.

• 16:10Ant McPartlin?

  I'm, I am quite the sweater. I'm one of life's sweaters. I get very hot.

• 16:13Declan Donnelly?

  So how do you get around it?

• 16:14Ant McPartlin?

  She wears more clothing. I wear less. Like, I'll never, that's it. But at home, I wear shorts t-shirt all the time.

• 16:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 16:23Ant McPartlin?

  I tried to wear some jogger bottoms in the new house. I was sweating by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, I had to take them off.

• 16:29Declan Donnelly?

  Really?

• 16:29Ant McPartlin?

  I put some shorts on.

• 16:30Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, good.

• 16:31Ant McPartlin?

  I'm naked.

• 16:31Declan Donnelly?

  Good, good. And also finding an ambient temperature that you're both happy with.

• 16:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but we're never both happy with it. Let's face it. I'll always sit near the window or, you know, sleep near the door, all that kind of, the small little wins you're gonna have.

• 16:45Declan Donnelly?

  But the key is jumpers.

• 16:47Ant McPartlin?

  Jumpers.

• 16:48Declan Donnelly?

  One here, last one. This is from Meg. Dear agony and and dare, I've always dreamt of owning my own place and this year I really wanted it to be the year. I'm in a stable job and I've been saving for a while, but when I started looking at the realities of buying, the whole thing left me completely overwhelmed. Finding the place, putting the offer in, understanding the solicitors and then the deposit.

• 17:08Ant McPartlin?

  Mmm.

• 17:08Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't realise how much money people use as their deposit. I feel like to have enough for a deposit, I'll be saving for another 10 years. All this goes to say, something I was so excited for now just feels very scary and quite impossible. Any words of advice that you can give? Meg.

• 17:23Ant McPartlin?

  Well firstly, it's not impossible because Santander are doing mortgage deposits as low as 10,000 pounds.

• 17:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 17:32Ant McPartlin?

  So you can just save a little bit, do small little steps, just save a little bit. And then before you know it, that ten thousand pounds as a deposit is very achievable.

• 17:42Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, make sure you have a look into it because some deposits are a lot lower than you think. Santander being one.

• 17:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 17:48Declan Donnelly?

  And things don't have to be perfect either, you know, tiny steps.

• 17:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 17:51Declan Donnelly?

  Sometimes it feels insurmountable. Sometimes you feel like you're climbing a mountain, but you've got to start.

• 17:56Ant McPartlin?

  Just start, just start. Yeah, exactly. Little steps will get you there.

• 17:59Declan Donnelly?

  And a good way to start.

• 18:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 18:01Declan Donnelly?

  I always think is to sit down and write a list. Otherwise you sit there and you go, oh yeah, forgotten to do this.

• 18:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:08Declan Donnelly?

  So just to have it all down on a list and you can take things off.

• 18:10Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 18:11Declan Donnelly?

  That's quite satisfying.

• 18:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I bet it is.

• 18:12Declan Donnelly?

  To be able to take things off a list. Write yourself a list, give yourself some deadlines or a timeframe.

• 18:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 18:18Declan Donnelly?

  And don't be too hard on yourself if you don't.

• 18:20Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 18:21Declan Donnelly?

  Take as many things off your list.

• 18:22Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 18:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's all work in progress.

• 18:24Ant McPartlin?

  Exactly.

• 18:24Declan Donnelly?

  But the main thing is to.

• 18:26Ant McPartlin?

  Progress not perfection.

• 18:27Declan Donnelly?

  Start, yes. Progress not perfection and make a start on it.

• 18:30Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm.

• 18:30Declan Donnelly?

  And not only that, we also know that Santander have a first time buyer hub to help with every step as well as first time buyer mortgages.

• 18:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. Did you know that they offer deposits starting from ten thousand pounds even on larger loans?

• 18:43Declan Donnelly?

  I did know that because we recorded an advert that said exactly that.

• 18:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 18:48Declan Donnelly?

  And that could make a huge difference though for so many people wanting to buy their first home.

• 18:52Ant McPartlin?

  Visit santander.co.uk for more details.

• 18:55Declan Donnelly?

  Very good. That's it for Agony Aunt Andair this week. Santander, it starts here.

• 19:01Ant McPartlin?

  Starts here. Hacklers, give us your Ts and Cs. You may lose your home if you don't keep up your mortgage payments. Mortgage subject to status and lending policy. Five hundred thousand pound max loan on houses with a ten K deposit.

• 19:13Declan Donnelly?

  Minimum five, minimum five percent, minimum five percent deposit is required for flats, new builds and properties in Northern Ireland.

• 19:20Ant McPartlin?

  Bit stumbly.

• 19:21Declan Donnelly?

  We'll do that in the edit. We'll smooth that in the edit. Don't worry.

• 19:26Ant McPartlin?

  I started reading a new book this week called Rick, you know Rick Rubin, the music producer?

• 19:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 19:31Ant McPartlin?

  He's written a book about the creative process and his philosophy, it's really good actually. His philosophy is we should all create things, right? And that doesn't mean we all have to create music because he's a music producer and that we're never going to all be brilliant at it. But whether it's filming something, making music, modeling, sketches, drawing, painting, whatever it is. It's the art of the creation. So just, just creating yourself is art enough. And now the more we do it, the more we will be in touch with one another and how we'll open ourselves up to better things happening to us. And you don't do it for any kind of outer joy, you do it for personal joy, don't you?

• 20:14Ant McPartlin?

  So when you make it in the first instance, you don't think about who's going to look at it in the future or if you're going to get paid for it or whatever. So I suppose it got me thinking about the podcast.

• 20:24Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 20:25Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what I mean? Like we, we make it in the hope that people listen to it, but even if they don't listen to it or watch it, we still have fun doing it.

• 20:32Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:33Ant McPartlin?

  So it's all about just creating the thing.

• 20:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 20:36Ant McPartlin?

  Just get going. It's good, isn't it?

• 20:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it is. And also I think if you are creative, if you do create something, then maybe you see the beauty in other people's creations as well. Because you understand the.

• 20:48Ant McPartlin?

  The process.

• 20:49Declan Donnelly?

  The process, yeah.

• 20:49Ant McPartlin?

  That's his point, yeah. And we should all do more of it.

• 20:53Declan Donnelly?

  That's a very nice idea.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Hmm. Has it inspired you to take up another creative hobby, a bit of sewing?

• 20:58Ant McPartlin?

  Don't have time.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  Stone carving?

• 21:00Ant McPartlin?

  I did buy one of those kind of electric engraver things for, to write your name on stones. I've never used it. So this is part of the reason why I'm on a spending ban is because, I wish I still haven't spent anything, by the way. This is because I bowl crap like that all the time. I just get sucked into advertisements.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  What was the vision with that? What, when you bought that, were you like, oh, I'm gonna?

• 21:23Declan Donnelly?

  I want to write my name on a stone. Is that what it was?

• 21:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it was. Yeah. And then in the video, they were drawing like their dogs and then they would do their dogs on stones. And I thought that'd be good.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  How do they put the stones?

• 21:36Ant McPartlin?

  Wherever you want. Do your stone, keep it indoors, outdoors. I did have a handheld sewing machine that I bought, which again, I thought, oh, instead of taking my trousers and get taken up to the tailor or whatever, I can just do it myself. But it was too complicated. When I was reading the instructions, it was far too complicated. No, it's just, it's only like the size of like your hand like this. And you hold it and you press the little trigger and it goes, it'd be great for you because you're always taking up trousers.

• 22:00Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 22:01Ant McPartlin?

  You are though, aren't you? You're not doing it yourself, but you're always getting it taken up. That's what I mean. So that's what I thought. All this time spent with trousers, when we could just take them up ourselves.

• 22:12Declan Donnelly?

  I've got no interest in doing that.

• 22:14Ant McPartlin?

  Have you not?

• 22:14Declan Donnelly?

  Nah, nah, nah.

• 22:17Ant McPartlin?

  Are you not interested in any other hobbies?

• 22:20Declan Donnelly?

  Not really.

• 22:20Ant McPartlin?

  Really?

• 22:21Declan Donnelly?

  Not really. I've got golf.

• 22:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 22:23Declan Donnelly?

  But I haven't even got enough time to do that.

• 22:25Ant McPartlin?

  No. What about a quick hobby? What's the quickest hobby you can do?

• 22:28Speaker 04

  Uh, noughts and crosses.

• 22:30Ant McPartlin?

  Is that a hobby? Noughts and crosses? The pastime, isn't it?

• 22:33Speaker 04

  Do a bit of painting now and then.

• 22:35Ant McPartlin?

  No, we don't paint. No, we don't. Yeah, for, for the internet. What man just supposed painted? If you're doing it just for the art of being creative.

• 22:43Declan Donnelly?

  No, I do it for likes and clicks.

• 22:46Ant McPartlin?

  Likes and clicks and sponsorship money.

• 22:52Declan Donnelly?

  No, my paintings just for likes and clicks of other celebrities. I do like it. I enjoy, I enjoy doing portraits. I like it.

• 23:00Ant McPartlin?

  I know, because you're good at it.

• 23:01Declan Donnelly?

  I tend to drive portrait more than I does.

• 23:03Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean driving?

• 23:04Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I kind of go, when we're doing another celebrity portrait.

• 23:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I don't care. Why would I want to do it?

• 23:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I don't want to do it.

• 23:08Ant McPartlin?

  I'm shit at it.

• 23:10Declan Donnelly?

  I don't want to do that.

• 23:11Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what we should do? I mean, this would be good. And it would be full circle on this conversation right now. David Attenborough.

• 23:18Declan Donnelly?

  David Attenborough. Let's paint him.

• 23:20Ant McPartlin?

  I really feel I could offend him though.

• 23:22Declan Donnelly?

  Well, he was, he doesn't know which one's which. He doesn't care.

• 23:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's a good point. Actually, he doesn't care, does he?

• 23:26Declan Donnelly?

  Nah.

• 23:26Ant McPartlin?

  He doesn't care. But is he gonna rate them? That's the thing.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Apparently to get in touch with David Attenborough, you have to fax him.

• 23:33Ant McPartlin?

  Fax him? Do you? Right, let's do it. Who's got a fax machine?

• 23:37Declan Donnelly?

  I used to have a fax machine.

• 23:38Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 23:39Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm. I think I've got, it might be in the lockup actually.

• 23:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I thought it was a joke.

• 23:43Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 23:44Ant McPartlin?

  I used to have a fax machine.

• 23:45Declan Donnelly?

  But I'm not one now.

• 23:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, no.

• 23:48Declan Donnelly?

  What's this?

• 23:49Ant McPartlin?

  Ow!

• 23:52Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my god!

• 23:53Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, a airplane, paper airplane has just flown in and hit Ant right on the bonce.

• 23:58Ant McPartlin?

  Right on the bonce!

• 23:59Declan Donnelly?

  Big target.

• 24:00Ant McPartlin?

  Hi!

• 24:01Declan Donnelly?

  Hi!

• 24:01Ant McPartlin?

  With Ant saying he likes TV shows about Russian spies etcetera, has he watched The Americans? An eight banana rating, no doubt, says Leighton Kelly. I haven't watched The Americans.

• 24:12Declan Donnelly?

  No, I haven't. It's quite an old one, Americans, isn't it?

• 24:15Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is.

• 24:15Declan Donnelly?

  It's a few years old now.

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  But Leighton is saying eight bananas, so maybe I should add that to the list because I do like a spy drama. I've got more here. I think we're all talking about banana ratings, so should I read on?

• 24:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, go on.

• 24:26Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, Ant and Dec.

• 24:27Declan Donnelly?

  Hi.

• 24:28Ant McPartlin?

  Hi. Loving the podcast. I would like to recommend a BBC One drama, Mint. The storyline is on the head of a crime gang in Glasgow and his family. Each episode is only 30 minutes long, so Dec's attention span should cope with it. I would like your opinion as I watched the entire series in one sitting and loved it.

• 24:45Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 24:46Ant McPartlin?

  But I don't know anyone else who has watched it, and now I'm thinking my taste is set at such a low bar. I should stop recommending it. Don't know. I need somebody else. She needs someone to bounce off.

• 24:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, okay.

• 24:58Ant McPartlin?

  Please check it out and let me know your views. Respect, guys. Marissa, okay?

• 25:01Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, Marissa. We'll have a look.

• 25:03Ant McPartlin?

  We'll have a look at that.

• 25:03Declan Donnelly?

  I've never heard of that.

• 25:04Ant McPartlin?

  Never heard of Mint. I mean, I've heard of Mint, like, you know.

• 25:09Ant McPartlin?

  The, what is it called? Herb, the plant. Finally, hello, Ant and Dec.

• 25:14Declan Donnelly?

  Hello.

• 25:14Ant McPartlin?

  You must watch the new film release called The Sheep Detective.

• 25:19Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yes.

• 25:20Ant McPartlin?

  It's with Hugh Jackman and Emma Thompson. It's really good, family film. I give it seven bananas. Respect, guys. From Amanda in Derby.

• 25:28Declan Donnelly?

  Wow. From Gold saying, you must watch this. I've got seven bananas.

• 25:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know. Why not eight?

• 25:32Declan Donnelly?

  What is she gonna give eight?

• 25:33Ant McPartlin?

  What is she, what's she waiting for? What did it lack?

• 25:35Declan Donnelly?

  I saw the trailer when I went to see The Magic Far Away Tree with the kids. It does look very fun.

• 25:40Ant McPartlin?

  Does it? Because I saw the, the poster on the side of a bus and it looked awful.

• 25:44Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Yeah, the trailer's good.

• 25:47Ant McPartlin?

  Is it? Okay, there's laughs in it, because there's not many laughs in the poster, granted. But it was just that stock shot of that, just all that looks a bit rubbish.

• 25:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Can I suggest one?

• 25:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you can.

• 25:58Declan Donnelly?

  The new Amelia Clarke ponies? I've just read some press about it, but apparently very good. And being mentioned in the same breath as the Americans.

• 26:06Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay.

• 26:06Declan Donnelly?

  That's what made me think of it.

• 26:07Ant McPartlin?

  Is it a spy thing?

• 26:08Declan Donnelly?

  It is a spy thing. She and the other girl are wives of two CIA, American CIA agents in Moscow, and the husbands get killed, and then the two wives have to kind of go on some sort of weird spy adventure. But apparently it's very, very good, up there with the Americans. So we'll do that one as well.

• 26:29Speaker 05

  Can we watch Rivals, series two?

• 26:30Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, Rivals, season two as well, we've got.

• 26:32Speaker 05

  Ah, so good.

• 26:34Declan Donnelly?

  Do you like the music in it?

• 26:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:35Declan Donnelly?

  It's good, good eighties music in it.

• 26:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:38Declan Donnelly?

  Do you want a fun fact about the music?

• 26:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:40Declan Donnelly?

  The music supervisor on Rivals is the current Mrs. Donnelly's brother.

• 26:45Ant McPartlin?

  Nepotism.

• 26:50Declan Donnelly?

  My brother-in-law is the music supervisor on Rivals.

• 26:54Speaker 05

  Master, if I'd said no.

• 26:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, your music's rubbish.

• 26:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, do you like the music? Absolutely dire. Worst thing about it.

• 27:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 05

  What does a music supervisor do?

• 27:04Declan Donnelly?

  So in the scripts where it says like, there's eighties music playing or whatever, then he will suggest what tracks. You've got to be careful that you don't play a track that is from two years in the future to when the scene was set. So he has to kind of collect all the, what the big hits were around the time.

• 27:19Ant McPartlin?

  That's a cool job, isn't it?

• 27:20Declan Donnelly?

  It's a really cool job. And go, have you thought about this song? This would work really well here. And then if they go, yeah, yeah, you want that one, then he has to go and do the, all the negotiations with the publishers and clear it and all the really legal stuff. So he does all of that. So he does all, he looks after all the music on Rivals. And he's done loads of movies as well and stuff. And because the music is such a big part of Rivals as well, everybody's kind of loving the music. So, yeah, he's thrilled.

• 27:46Declan Donnelly?

  The day is drawing ever closer when Ant here will have a tattoo

• 27:51Ant McPartlin?

  Oh god.

• 27:52Declan Donnelly?

  To commemorate his participation in this podcast. What was it for like six months?

• 27:57Ant McPartlin?

  My participation in the podcast?

• 27:58Declan Donnelly?

  For like, what was it, six months or something?

• 28:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I think it was. And I keep seeing my body going, oh god, that body, not my body. I mean, I don't say that about my body. I think, oh yeah, when I see my body.

• 28:09Declan Donnelly?

  We've got some nice suggestions this week to add to the body, or not, as the case may be. Jacqueline says, respect guys.

• 28:19Ant McPartlin?

  Respect Jacqueline.

• 28:21Declan Donnelly?

  How about this for a tattoo? Either a tattoo of R13EYF as a nod to the butcher ribeye registration plate, which is on the shelf behind you, or a tattoo of an ant and a duck sitting together. I've attached a drawing of this one.

• 28:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's a very nice looking tattoo though.

• 28:45Declan Donnelly?

  It is nice, isn't it? Do we like it?

• 28:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I like the look of that.

• 28:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 28:48Ant McPartlin?

  It's not your main tattoo though, is it? Like a secondary tattoo. That's not top of your arm, is it?

• 28:54Declan Donnelly?

  No. It's a little kind of...

• 28:56Ant McPartlin?

  It's cute.

• 28:57Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 28:58Ant McPartlin?

  It's cute.

• 28:58Declan Donnelly?

  It's cute.

• 28:59Ant McPartlin?

  Cute tattoo.

• 29:00Declan Donnelly?

  He likes it, Jacqueline. Well done, he thinks it's cute. Hello there, Ant and Dec.

• 29:04Ant McPartlin?

  Hello there.

• 29:05Declan Donnelly?

  My name is Ayla Rose and I am a tattoo artist from Inverness. I've watched you guys since I was a little girl and your podcast has been the best part of mine and my partner's week since it began.

• 29:13Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 29:14Declan Donnelly?

  You need to get some more good stuff in your week.

• 29:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you need some hobbies.

• 29:18Declan Donnelly?

  Love the idea of you getting a tattoo designed by a fan. I love this photo of you guys after the Newcastle Carabao Cup win. The design will be done as a simple line work or as realism, depending on preference. Thanks for taking time to read.

• 29:32Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. That's really good. Your teeth are a bit weird.

• 29:36Declan Donnelly?

  They are a bit weird.

• 29:37Ant McPartlin?

  Why is that?

• 29:38Declan Donnelly?

  My teeth are quite weird. I've got braces. Do you like it?

• 29:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I mean, you're very...

• 29:42Declan Donnelly?

  Prominent.

• 29:43Ant McPartlin?

  You're very prominent.

• 29:43Declan Donnelly?

  I'm quite prominent.

• 29:44Ant McPartlin?

  Which I don't mind. I don't know if I necessarily want a picture of...

• 29:47Declan Donnelly?

  Sounds like you do quite mind.

• 29:49Ant McPartlin?

  No, it's not actually. I don't mind, but I don't know, I want myself on my own arm.

• 29:53Declan Donnelly?

  Right, yeah.

• 29:54Ant McPartlin?

  It's just, it's a bit big headed that, isn't it? Isn't it though?

• 29:58Declan Donnelly?

  A little bit.

• 29:59Ant McPartlin?

  Whereas the ant and duck on the other hand, is a subtle little nod to our friendship and Ant and Dec.

• 30:05Declan Donnelly?

  What are we saying about that?

• 30:06Ant McPartlin?

  I think we will have to say no.

• 30:07Declan Donnelly?

  It's a no because you don't want yourself on your arm.

• 30:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 30:10Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, nice idea though, Ayla. I like it. I'd have it on.

• 30:13Ant McPartlin?

  You have it then.

• 30:14Declan Donnelly?

  I'd have it on Ant's arm.

• 30:16Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, you're on?

• 30:17Declan Donnelly?

  Nah, Jess says, hi guys.

• 30:19Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Jess.

• 30:19Declan Donnelly?

  I've come up with the perfect tattoo idea for him.

• 30:22Ant McPartlin?

  Well, stop the search, stop the search, she's found it.

• 30:25Declan Donnelly?

  Mainly because I know how much he absolutely loved this particular thing each time Deck offered a swap. So really, it only feels right to make it permanent. I'm fully expecting it.

• 30:37Ant McPartlin?

  I know what it is, I know what it is. Can I guess? Can I guess?

• 30:42Declan Donnelly?

  You can guess.

• 30:43Ant McPartlin?

  It's the tap shoes, isn't it?

• 30:46Declan Donnelly?

  There you are. As a tattoo.

• 30:49Ant McPartlin?

  As a tattoo.

• 30:50Declan Donnelly?

  That's very good. I'm fully expecting this masterpiece to become a reality and honestly, I'd be disappointed if it doesn't.

• 30:56Ant McPartlin?

  No, because the way it's been drawn so wistfully, no, he can't get that, I can't get that. As much as I love.

• 31:03Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I love it. I love it. It's a nice idea.

• 31:07Ant McPartlin?

  It is a nice idea. I mean, if I was, if I was looking for more places to tattoo, then I would get that as a laugh.

• 31:16Declan Donnelly?

  It's great.

• 31:17Ant McPartlin?

  I'm telling you, my wife would never let me get that.

• 31:19Declan Donnelly?

  What about on the ankle or something?

• 31:20Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, hands, we would go.

• 31:22Speaker 05

  On your feet.

• 31:23Ant McPartlin?

  On my feet?

• 31:24Declan Donnelly?

  What, those lovely wiki feet?

• 31:25Ant McPartlin?

  On the sole of me feet, I'm not losing wiki feet marks by them tap shoes.

• 31:32Declan Donnelly?

  Is Jess gonna be disappointed?

• 31:34Ant McPartlin?

  Can't we just keep it on there because it's very good?

• 31:36Declan Donnelly?

  We should put them down on the leg?

• 31:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, go on then. Yeah, but then it's on the knee and then look what's on the other knee. So I'm still on the other knee.

• 31:44Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 31:44Ant McPartlin?

  So those two are never gonna happen, but I just like looking at them. So, so far, we have, is that all we've got?

• 31:51Declan Donnelly?

  No, we've got a few more.

• 31:52Ant McPartlin?

  Is this it though?

• 31:53Declan Donnelly?

  No, I'll tell you what we've got.

• 31:54Ant McPartlin?

  The boomerang, which we like, the respect guys, eight bananas, which we like, the ant and duck, which is cute. Uh, and the golfer with the, the golfer with the, the ball and the flag will on me belly buttons, never gonna happen. So we'll just take it off the body, sorry.

• 32:11Declan Donnelly?

  No, you gotta leave that one. I get to choose one, remember?

• 32:14Ant McPartlin?

  No, you don't.

• 32:14Declan Donnelly?

  That's my one.

• 32:15Ant McPartlin?

  Absolutely do not.

• 32:16Declan Donnelly?

  That stays there. We've got all these little ones from Nicole.

• 32:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 32:21Declan Donnelly?

  So you've got your Psych of the Album, your Saturday Takeaway, your Respect Guys Fingers, and Stay Fresh Cheesebags.

• 32:29Ant McPartlin?

  Very good. Just dot them around the chest area. Dot them around the chest area.

• 32:32Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, we like these.

• 32:33Ant McPartlin?

  Very good.

• 32:34Declan Donnelly?

  And I've also got the Soundwave.

• 32:37Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, of your name?

• 32:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 32:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 32:39Declan Donnelly?

  Is it my name? My laugh. Let's stick that on the arm. It doesn't have to be my laugh, it could be something else, can't it? Like the...

• 32:46Ant McPartlin?

  No, that's the whole point.

• 32:47Declan Donnelly?

  Is it?

• 32:48Speaker 04

  It could be your children's laugh.

• 32:49Ant McPartlin?

  Why would I want Dex's children's laugh on my arm? That's weird. You're weird.

• 32:56Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that's good. I think we've got progress here.

• 32:58Ant McPartlin?

  We're getting there. We are getting there. Please, please, please, send in more ideas that... Oh, just cool. Just, just cool, nice-looking tattoos. Yeah? A bit like, a bit like the Boomerang one with the Angel of the North and Thyme Bridge and the, um, Longitudinal Latitudes. I really like that because you've got to have a little think about it and it just looks cool.

• 33:20Declan Donnelly?

  Conversation starter.

• 33:21Ant McPartlin?

  It's a conversation starter.

• 33:22Declan Donnelly?

  Like the golfer?

• 33:23Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no. Not the golfer with the ball going into me belly button.

• 33:27Declan Donnelly?

  Great conversation starter. Keep them coming in. Hang it out at BeltTheBox.com.

• 33:31Ant McPartlin?

  Please.

• 33:31Declan Donnelly?

  Let's put some ink on this guy.

• 33:33Ant McPartlin?

  For the love of God, make them better than this.

• 33:37Declan Donnelly?

  This next bit is brought to you by Gemini, Google's AI app.

• 33:41Ant McPartlin?

  So big summer of football, as we know.

• 33:44Declan Donnelly?

  I can't wait.

• 33:45Ant McPartlin?

  It's gonna get better and better.

• 33:46Declan Donnelly?

  Can't wait.

• 33:46Ant McPartlin?

  Hopefully. Got me thinking, I wonder who Gemini would think is the better footballer, me or you?

• 33:52Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, that's an interesting con...

• 33:54Ant McPartlin?

  But hasn't seen us play?

• 33:55Declan Donnelly?

  Conundrum, yeah.

• 33:56Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, I'll ask. Gemini, who'd you think would be the better footballer, Ant or Dec?

• 34:03Speaker 06

  You're talking about the famous presenting duo, Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly. That's right. Declan's slightly shorter stature might give him a lower centre of gravity, which might make an excellent winger or attacking midfielder. Ant, on the other hand, might have an advantage with reach and heading the ball, could be a strong central defender or even a commanding goalkeeper. With their famous teamwork, they'd likely be fantastic at setting up plays together, always knowing where the other one is.

• 34:27Ant McPartlin?

  What a really good response.

• 34:28Declan Donnelly?

  That is quite a good response. And you do play in goals sometimes.

• 34:31Ant McPartlin?

  I do play in goals sometimes, yeah.

• 34:32Declan Donnelly?

  Can I get some tips from Gemini, please?

• 34:35Ant McPartlin?

  You can.

• 34:35Declan Donnelly?

  Let me ask Gemini a question.

• 34:36Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 34:37Declan Donnelly?

  Gemini, we've actually got a five-a-side game coming up in a week or two, and I'm gonna need a really good pre-match stretch routine.

• 34:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, here it goes, okay.

• 34:47Declan Donnelly?

  A step-by-step warm-up, please, and make me look like a pro. Gemini says, "To look like a pro and protect your hamstrings from the inevitable Tuesday night intensity, you want active movements that mimic the game.

• 35:02Ant McPartlin?

  Uh-huh.

• 35:02Declan Donnelly?

  Here's a high-efficiency, five-minute dynamic routine guaranteed to warm you up and, more importantly, get you looking the part."

• 35:08Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, then.

• 35:09Declan Donnelly?

  Five-minute dynamic warm-up. Open the gate. That's not just getting out the bottom of your garden. This is jog three steps, lift knee, rotate it outward, hips and groin. That's that one.

• 35:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 35:20Declan Donnelly?

  That looks like a footballer. Close the gate.

• 35:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, same again but reversed, yeah.

• 35:26Declan Donnelly?

  But that. Hamstring scoops.

• 35:29Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah. Yes, yeah, that looks like a pro.

• 35:32Declan Donnelly?

  That looks very footbally. Side lunge to twist, butt kicks and high knees and acceleration bursts. Yeah, they do that a lot, don't they, when they come on as a substitute? Ooh, they run really fast. That's a good routine.

• 35:43Ant McPartlin?

  Can I ask Gemini something?

• 35:44Declan Donnelly?

  Go on, then.

• 35:45Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Obviously, I can't play because I've hurt my toe.

• 35:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 35:47Ant McPartlin?

  So I could be ref. Should I be ref?

• 35:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:49Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, let me ask Gemini, just because it's boring, I'd be a ref. See if I can make it fun. Gemini, I'm refereeing a five-a-side with my mates. Give me some good ideas on how to keep the game fun for me and for them. Here we go. Gemini says, "Oh man, sorry to hear about the toe." Oh, that's very kind, isn't it?

• 36:09Declan Donnelly?

  Nice Gemini.

• 36:10Ant McPartlin?

  It's more than what you've done. Being a five-a-side ref for your mates is a fine art. If you take it too seriously, everyone gets annoyed.

• 36:18Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 36:18Ant McPartlin?

  If you don't take it seriously enough, it descends into chaos. Gemini says, "Here's the fun ref matchday blueprint. Custom sin bin cards. Instead of reds and yellows, use a two-minute blue card for tactical fouls."

• 36:31Declan Donnelly?

  That's quite good.

• 36:32Ant McPartlin?

  Whining. That is good. Two dramatic VR reviews from controversial calls. Make the TV screen hand gesture, walk over to a sideline monitor or a blank wall, stare at it intensely and deliver a theatrical final verdict.

• 36:45Declan Donnelly?

  That's brilliant. I want you to do that.

• 36:47Ant McPartlin?

  That is good. Thank you, Gemini. But I could just be caught. Gemini, can I have a short, high-energy halftime speech to keep everyone locked in, please?

• 36:59Declan Donnelly?

  We're getting in a huddle.

• 37:00Ant McPartlin?

  Right, right, hold on, get in a huddle. Pretend, pretend. This is my speech. Gemini says, "Bring it in, bring it in. Circle up, you beautiful disasters. Here's some advice. Stop passing to the opposition. They have different colored shirts for a reason. Attacker, stop trying to walk the ball into the net. Just hit it. And defender, stop being lazy. My toe might hurt, but my eyesight is perfect. Let's actually try for the next 20 minutes. Hands in. One, two, three. Don't embarrass me." Thanks, Gemini.

• 37:29Declan Donnelly?

  That's amazing.

• 37:30Ant McPartlin?

  With Gemini, you can chat live with a truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, get some spawn tips, ask for more details or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or your camera as well. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 37:45Declan Donnelly?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

• 37:50Ant McPartlin?

  Chat responses. Center required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

• 37:57Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we get some letters? Got a few in the postbag.

• 38:00Ant McPartlin?

  Go on then.

• 38:01Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I get them out?

• 38:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please. Okay.

• 38:03Declan Donnelly?

  Choose your weapon.

• 38:05Ant McPartlin?

  I will have that one, you have that one, I'll have that and you have that one, nice. It's nice to read your letters again. It's your letters, it's your letters, you have that tape on Friday?

• 38:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 38:16Ant McPartlin?

  Still love that. Uh, this says, hi Ant Dec and old Latine. Hi.

• 38:22Declan Donnelly?

  Hi.

• 38:22Ant McPartlin?

  Nice of you. I see your mum's out of dear Christmas pudding and raise you an out of date tin of golden syrup. Hmm, I'm intrigued. This all leads back to my mum serving, uh, a Christmas pudding which was older than my niece. Uh, she heard that episode.

• 38:39Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, she heard it?

• 38:40Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm.

• 38:41Declan Donnelly?

  Was she livid?

• 38:42Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, she laughed about it, to be fair. And she went, I'm just pleased that you didn't mention the other one. Which I'll tell you, I can't tell you on, on here. Well, maybe I can, but not this week, when we run out of ideas.

• 38:54Declan Donnelly?

  Something else out of date?

• 38:55Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm, badly. Uh, anyway, back to this letter. Unfortunately, in January twenty four, my mum had a burst pipe. Oh, okay. In the loft that flooded the entire house. The house had to be completely gutted and cleared out. It was done for my mum by the insurance company and they found many, many out of date items of food. What are they doing, checking?

• 39:20Declan Donnelly?

  In the loft? No.

• 39:22Ant McPartlin?

  Well, just in the house, because the house was flooded.

• 39:23Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 39:24Ant McPartlin?

  The worst was this golden syrup tin that went out of date in nineteen ninety five. And this was in January twenty twenty four.

• 39:34Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my god.

• 39:35Ant McPartlin?

  Wow. The worst of it was that my mum and dad moved house in two thousand and five. So she moved with it already out of date. Probably if she'd cleared the house herself, she would have kept it, I reckon. In me mum's words, my idea of out of date and theirs is very different. I'm loving the podcast, definitely a bit honest, respect guys, Amanda from Wickford in Essex.

• 39:54Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, Amanda.

• 39:55Ant McPartlin?

  God, that does trump my mothers, doesn't it? So that's twenty nine years after the best before.

• 40:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 40:02Ant McPartlin?

  Wow, twenty nine years is a long time.

• 40:05Speaker 05

  Let's get to send it in then, didn't we?

• 40:07Ant McPartlin?

  Send it in then, we'll all dip our finger in. And we'll taste us. If Dex not that bothered by best before or best before date.

• 40:15Declan Donnelly?

  Will we have a taste, will we?

• 40:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you will. No, we, you will. Because you're not bothered by them.

• 40:21Declan Donnelly?

  I don't, I'm.

• 40:22Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe that's your hobby. Trying food that's out of date. That's your new hobby. We go around old kitchens, people's.

• 40:30Declan Donnelly?

  Idea for sure.

• 40:30Ant McPartlin?

  House moves. Idea for sure.

• 40:35Declan Donnelly?

  Idea for sure. Short your, short your coming out.

• 40:40Ant McPartlin?

  Let's kill Dex.

• 40:43Declan Donnelly?

  Pam Foster says, hi guys.

• 40:46Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Pam. Hi. Hey.

• 40:49Declan Donnelly?

  Alex has joined in today.

• 40:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's nice.

• 40:51Declan Donnelly?

  Did you both know that Wallace and Gromit were going to have a newsreader called Anton Deck in Vengeance Most Foul? Or, like the rest of us, were you just sat down in front of the TV, bellies full of Christmas dinner? And surprised by it?

• 41:07Ant McPartlin?

  Just like the rest of you. Bellies full of Christmas dinner, surprised.

• 41:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:10Ant McPartlin?

  It's a real compliment though, isn't it?

• 41:12Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, absolutely.

• 41:13Ant McPartlin?

  Because they're brilliant. You know, Nick Park's brilliant, all the guys at Audman are geniuses. To have a career that, that long, you know, going that long, that successful, uh, says something.

• 41:23Declan Donnelly?

  Can a company be a national treasure?

• 41:25Ant McPartlin?

  A company?

• 41:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I think they can.

• 41:26Declan Donnelly?

  They've done such amazing work over the years with all those movies that they've done and. Wallace and Gromit National Treasures.

• 41:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they are. Wallace and Gromit National Treasures, uh, David Attenborough, the King. Helen Mirren. That's it, draw the line there.

• 41:40Declan Donnelly?

  That is, that's the law.

• 41:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:42Declan Donnelly?

  When we, um, first started on TV, well, when we first started with our own show called The Anton Deck Show in 1995 on Children's BBC.

• 41:51Ant McPartlin?

  Where are you going with this?

• 41:54Declan Donnelly?

  We turned up at the BBC one day to go to work and they didn't have any idea who we were. And, um, you had to go up in reception and, and check in. And, uh, and we're like, we said, Anton Deck. And, uh, they did that. They wrote the visitor's pass with Anton Deck and gave it to him.

• 42:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they did, that's right.

• 42:09Declan Donnelly?

  And what's your name? I was like, no, I'm Deck. And I looked at his and he had Anton Deck on his visitor pass at the BBC.

• 42:16Ant McPartlin?

  We said, we need two passes, we're not just one person.

• 42:20Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe Nick, maybe Nick Park.

• 42:22Declan Donnelly?

  Was the receptionist?

• 42:23Ant McPartlin?

  No, I just, it was in reception.

• 42:24Declan Donnelly?

  Alright, yeah.

• 42:26Ant McPartlin?

  Overheard it.

• 42:26Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe.

• 42:27Ant McPartlin?

  I know, in 30s time, I'm gonna use that.

• 42:31Declan Donnelly?

  So that was, that genuinely happened?

• 42:33Ant McPartlin?

  Hi guys.

• 42:33Declan Donnelly?

  Hi.

• 42:34Ant McPartlin?

  Before I get into the email, can I just stop? I said, how much I have absolutely loved watching, stroke, listening to the podcast.

• 42:40Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 42:41Ant McPartlin?

  Large bananas from me. I've binged the whole list of episodes in three days. In three days? You are our biggest fan. Beat that. Beat that. Let's see if you can beat that.

• 42:54Declan Donnelly?

  He also needs to get out more.

• 42:55Ant McPartlin?

  Get a hobby.

• 42:56Declan Donnelly?

  Get a hobby.

• 42:56Ant McPartlin?

  The reason I'm writing in is because I think you have a ghost in the studio. What? Oh my God, this is something else my mother's into is ghost hunting. Please see the video.

• 43:08Declan Donnelly?

  What video?

• 43:09Ant McPartlin?

  That's me, that's me, that's me. And, and I'd just got back from holiday, so I was tanned. So I could not be mistaken for a ghost.

• 43:15Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, so we've got.

• 43:16Ant McPartlin?

  So it's me and a striped jumper.

• 43:18Declan Donnelly?

  Zooming in, oh, zooming in on the plant. Is that it? The plant moved.

• 43:23Ant McPartlin?

  Do it again.

• 43:24Declan Donnelly?

  The plant.

• 43:25Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it waved. It waved. It's telling us something. It's telling us that's a warning.

• 43:30Declan Donnelly?

  Somebody tried to communicate.

• 43:31Ant McPartlin?

  It is. It is. Said, please don't eat out of date golden syrup, because you will die like I did. That's what, that's what it's saying.

• 43:40Declan Donnelly?

  Come on, perk up.

• 43:42Ant McPartlin?

  Is it plastic or real?

• 43:43Declan Donnelly?

  Plastic.

• 43:45Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 43:46Declan Donnelly?

  It's plastic.

• 43:46Ant McPartlin?

  How interesting.

• 43:48Declan Donnelly?

  Plant, maybe it's a poltergeist. That is, that is up there.

• 43:51Ant McPartlin?

  And that was from Leanne from Leyland, UK. Put me on the map.

• 43:55Declan Donnelly?

  Who, what?

• 43:56Ant McPartlin?

  No, the, the whole letter, the whole point of this was, uh, Leanne from Leyland, UK. Put me on the map.

• 44:02Declan Donnelly?

  Leyla?

• 44:03Ant McPartlin?

  Leyland. Leanne.

• 44:05Declan Donnelly?

  Leanne.

• 44:06Ant McPartlin?

  From Leyland.

• 44:08Declan Donnelly?

  Just a lot of L's, I'm just trying to, trying to.

• 44:10Ant McPartlin?

  Put her on the map.

• 44:11Declan Donnelly?

  Leyla.

• 44:12Ant McPartlin?

  Get your map up, put it on Leyland. Put a flag in Leyland. Where is Leyland?

• 44:15Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know where Leyland is.

• 44:16Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, Preston. Okay, Leyland.

• 44:19Declan Donnelly?

  Leyland.

• 44:20Ant McPartlin?

  Greater Manchester. Get a flag. Okay? Oh, that's a toothpick. That'll do for now. What? Yeah. Who sees this?

• 44:28Declan Donnelly?

  Michael, she knew them ages ago with the, uh.

• 44:31Ant McPartlin?

  Right. Where is?

• 44:32Declan Donnelly?

  Preston.

• 44:34Ant McPartlin?

  There you go.

• 44:35Declan Donnelly?

  There we go, Leyla.

• 44:36Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, they don't stick as well as foot. There you go. Leanne.

• 44:42Declan Donnelly?

  Leanne.

• 44:43Ant McPartlin?

  From Leyland.

• 44:45Declan Donnelly?

  It's not sticking, the thing's not sticking, the name's not sticking, this whole thing's not sticking.

• 44:51Ant McPartlin?

  Well, apparently we've got a ghost. We haven't, we've kind of skirted over that, fab. Now we've got a ghost.

• 44:56Declan Donnelly?

  Got one here from Hannah. Hi all.

• 45:00Speaker 05

  Hi. Hi.

• 45:02Declan Donnelly?

  Happy Thursday.

• 45:03Ant McPartlin?

  Happy Thursday. Happy Thursday.

• 45:05Declan Donnelly?

  I met you both in the height of PJ and Duncan fame through the Famous for Five Minutes segment on Live and Kicking, hosted by Amaphobes and Andy Peters in their prime. I remember writing in my own diary at the time that it was the best day of my life. So much so that fast forward to the next year, 1996, still on my high of being famous for five minutes. Your single Better Watch Out was released. Gone was PJ and Duncan and here was Anton Deck, the serious music artist.

• 45:32Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm, I wouldn't say we're serious.

• 45:34Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know whether you ever read your reviews, but let's just say there was one less than complimentary review of the single in The Times.

• 45:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what do you expect? It's The Times, for goodness sake.

• 45:44Declan Donnelly?

  She says in brackets, "Quite a bougie read for a 12-year-old, some might say."

• 45:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, all would say.

• 45:50Declan Donnelly?

  I took the review a bit too personally.

• 45:52Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 45:53Declan Donnelly?

  So much so that I wrote to the journalist to tell him how wrong he was and how the single was pure brilliance, suggesting that he needed to go and see you live. I believe I suggested various tour dates. He could see for himself the raw talent. Any song that starts "Ow! La la la la la" deserves true praise. A few weeks later, I received an apology from the journalist and a signed photo from you both.

• 46:16Ant McPartlin?

  She got an apology?

• 46:17Declan Donnelly?

  It spent many a year proudly on show on my wall next to my Famous for Five Minutes certificate. Always remember you both being so accommodating and lovely when I met you, even when you found out I was a Macam. It's been a total joy now as a 41-year-old having my kids enjoy your TV shows, loving the podcast and trips down memory lane. Love from Hannah, Famous for Five Minutes in 1995.

• 46:37Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you very much, Hannah. I would love to read that Times review of Better Watch Out.

• 46:41Declan Donnelly?

  If we, if we wrote personally to every journalist that has given us a bad review.

• 46:46Ant McPartlin?

  We wouldn't stop writing. We'd still be running right in now.

• 46:50Declan Donnelly?

  And he may, he or she may have had a point.

• 46:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's true. But thank you for sticking up for us.

• 46:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, thanks for sticking up for us, Hannah.

• 46:59Ant McPartlin?

  I've never heard of that before, a fan sticking up for an artist and writing to a reviewer. Have you?

• 47:06Declan Donnelly?

  Probably not anymore, but I guess, I bet they do it on social media now. Yeah, like if you.

• 47:12Ant McPartlin?

  Don't our computers know, innit?

• 47:13Declan Donnelly?

  Somebody says something bad about One Direction, don't all the, loads of people have a go at them and do a pile on online and stuff like that. So they don't, they don't.

• 47:22Speaker 05

  Anyone criticises BTS?

• 47:24Ant McPartlin?

  BTS?

• 47:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, but like that's, yeah, you don't want to do that.

• 47:28Ant McPartlin?

  BTS, criticising BTS, don't do it. Don't have beef with BTS. I tell you what I want to say about BTS, listen.

• 47:36Declan Donnelly?

  Not think, you can't say anything about BTS. We'll have letters. Who else? Taylor Swift?

• 47:42Ant McPartlin?

  What about her?

• 47:43Declan Donnelly?

  Swifties.

• 47:43Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 47:45Declan Donnelly?

  They'll come and have a go at you.

• 47:46Ant McPartlin?

  I don't care.

• 47:47Declan Donnelly?

  Bieber?

• 47:47Ant McPartlin?

  Swifties.

• 47:48Declan Donnelly?

  Beliebers. So we're not doing any swaps today because the trainers have gone to Manchester, to the artist, to be.

• 47:58Ant McPartlin?

  Spray it up.

• 47:59Declan Donnelly?

  So we'll get them back and then we'll resume swaps. Uh, we'll be back on Monday. See you then.

• 48:03Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys.

• 48:09Declan Donnelly?

  That was such a good one.

• 48:10Ant McPartlin?

  I'm picking up a bit.

• 48:11Declan Donnelly?

  Couldn't resist it. Oh yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 01

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• 48:52Speaker 07

  Ugh, I hate Mondays. King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite? Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one.

• 49:01Speaker 07

  Hey, let's get back to work, please. But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. Taylor Hansen? Nice.

• 49:09Ant McPartlin?

  Try one.

• 49:14Ant McPartlin?

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.

• 49:22Ant McPartlin?

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