Ant vs The Bethans & Dec discusses THAT Awkward Alien Scene

Bethans of the World Unite! This week Ant gets hauled across the coals by Bethans across the country for not knowing it was a name, and Dec gets awkward talking about that sex scene in Alien Autopsy… We also celebrate 32 years since Dec’s Diary was written, Ant refuses to apologise to Jamie Oliver and heckler’s corner play a prank on the boys sent in by a listener. Please please please keep your letters coming in - we love ‘em! Send to [email protected] ---- 00:00 - Coming up02:40 - Haggis, Sweetbreads & Kidney05:30 - Ant offends Jamie Oliver07:30 - Spring has Sprung!09:55 - Is Ant a time traveller?14:30 - National Name Yourself day!16:15 - Bethan’s Unite20:00 - A Very Meta Letter21:55 - A Very Special Dec’s Diary: 32nd birthday!33:10 - I’m a Celeb, South Africa34:33 - Banana Ratings TV/Films37:50 - Alien Autopsy, reviews are in!42:00 - Dec’s awkward film scene44:00 - World map49:00 - Postbag Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I hate Mondays.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite?

• 0:03Speaker 00

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• 0:10Speaker 00

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• 0:15Speaker 02

  Taylor Hanson? Nice.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Try one.

• 0:18Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.

• 0:30Speaker 03

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• 0:59Ant McPartlin?

  Coming up on the show, Dex got a conspiracy theory about me.

• 1:03Declan Donnelly?

  His aunt actually...

• 1:05Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe I am, just I can never reveal it to anyone.

• 1:08Declan Donnelly?

  The Bethens of the world have been in touch, and they're not happy.

• 1:12Ant McPartlin?

  How convenient, Bethin, that the only other Bethens you know went to your primary school and then your secondary school. And I've never met them. Dex shares his most embarrassing intimate moment on camera.

• 1:25Declan Donnelly?

  It's just me and the actress in a room, and a microphone, and you look at each other and you go, eh. We hear Ant's most dramatic banana rating yet.

• 1:32Ant McPartlin?

  I'd like to take away all of my bananas. Every single one.

• 1:37Declan Donnelly?

  And we celebrate my diary's 32nd birthday.

• 1:40Ant McPartlin?

  Enjoy the show!

• 1:41Declan Donnelly?

  Enjoy the show!

• 1:46Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, everybody!

• 1:47Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, everybody!

• 1:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, it's nice to be back in here, isn't it?

• 1:51Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, my lights are on! Oh! Turn me lights on! I like doing that. Still a bit of responsibility I've got on this show. I don't even say the hellos.

• 2:01Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, everybody.

• 2:02Ant McPartlin?

  See what I mean?

• 2:04Declan Donnelly?

  Welcome back to the hangout. Good morning, good evening for another hangout with him and me, me and him.

• 2:10Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 2:11Declan Donnelly?

  Hands and deck, deck and hands.

• 2:12Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 2:12Declan Donnelly?

  How are you?

• 2:13Ant McPartlin?

  All right, yeah, I'm all right. Yeah, I was all right. Until Busyfingers over there got involved with the lights.

• 2:19Declan Donnelly?

  Is that a nickname you've had before, Busyfingers?

• 2:21Ant McPartlin?

  Busyfingers? A new one. Is it? Good nickname. You've got to give people the context though, if you ever say my nickname, my boss calls me Busyfingers. Yeah, give them the context because that could be taken wrong.

• 2:36Ant McPartlin?

  Anyway, you all right?

• 2:37Declan Donnelly?

  I am good, thanks. It's nice to see you.

• 2:39Ant McPartlin?

  You're very cuddly today, don't you?

• 2:41Declan Donnelly?

  Does it look like it's my turn with the green cardy?

• 2:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:43Declan Donnelly?

  Does it?

• 2:44Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it does.

• 2:44Declan Donnelly?

  Because I think this is similar to one you've got.

• 2:46Ant McPartlin?

  I think that was the outfit I wore a couple of weeks ago.

• 2:48Declan Donnelly?

  Is it?

• 2:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. If you go back on Melter Box, you'll see it.

• 2:51Declan Donnelly?

  Where do I get my style inspiration from, I wonder?

• 2:54Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 2:55Declan Donnelly?

  Must be Ant. Haven't seen you much this week.

• 2:57Ant McPartlin?

  No, you haven't.

• 2:58Declan Donnelly?

  You've been here, there and everywhere.

• 3:00Ant McPartlin?

  I have.

• 3:00Declan Donnelly?

  We've had a few days apart.

• 3:01Ant McPartlin?

  Come on then, hit me.

• 3:03Declan Donnelly?

  I've had a lovely few days with the kids.

• 3:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 3:05Declan Donnelly?

  It's been exhausting also. Because they're very busy.

• 3:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. Busy with clubs and stuff.

• 3:12Declan Donnelly?

  Clubs, here, there and everywhere. We've got Little Jim.

• 3:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Oh, your third child you've got now? Little Jim. I like Jack and Little Jim.

• 3:21Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not a child.

• 3:22Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's Little Jim. It's a baby. I didn't know. What?

• 3:25Declan Donnelly?

  It's where Jack goes to Little Jim.

• 3:26Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I see, right, right.

• 3:27Declan Donnelly?

  Isla goes to Little Gymnasium.

• 3:29Ant McPartlin?

  Shoots his muscles.

• 3:32Declan Donnelly?

  So, yeah, it's like ferrying the kids around, doing clubs and stuff. How have you been? What have you been up to?

• 3:36Ant McPartlin?

  Went away with the misses, which was lovely. Went up to Scotland.

• 3:40Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, kind of new.

• 3:43Ant McPartlin?

  Kind of new. I had haggis. I love haggis.

• 3:45Declan Donnelly?

  You do love a bit of haggis, don't you?

• 3:46Ant McPartlin?

  I do. Do you not like it?

• 3:47Declan Donnelly?

  I do, yeah. For brekkie?

• 3:48Ant McPartlin?

  I had it for breakfast and I had it for dinner. And it wasn't on in the restaurant for lunch, otherwise I would have had it for lunch.

• 3:54Declan Donnelly?

  That's too much haggis.

• 3:55Ant McPartlin?

  It's not.

• 3:55Declan Donnelly?

  You can have too much haggis.

• 3:57Ant McPartlin?

  To all of our Scottish viewers, what else is there? As well as haggis that I would like as well.

• 4:03Declan Donnelly?

  Neeps and tatties.

• 4:04Ant McPartlin?

  Well, yeah, I like that, but if I love haggis, what else can I eat that you would recommend? And I will try it here on the podcast. Square sausage I know about. They like that in Scotland, don't they?

• 4:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 4:15Ant McPartlin?

  Like square sausage.

• 4:16Declan Donnelly?

  I like a bit of that.

• 4:16Ant McPartlin?

  Which is like a flat patty of pork sausage. I like that. But I need to know what else I can eat.

• 4:24Declan Donnelly?

  Would you have sweetbreads?

• 4:25Ant McPartlin?

  What's a sweetbread?

• 4:26Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, it's intestines and all sorts of stuff in it.

• 4:30Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 4:30Declan Donnelly?

  Sweetbreads?

• 4:31Ant McPartlin?

  Doesn't sound like it.

• 4:32Declan Donnelly?

  Just Google sweetbreads.

• 4:33Ant McPartlin?

  Sweetbreads?

• 4:33Speaker 06

  It's a culinary name for the thymus or pancreas, typically from a calf or lamb.

• 4:39Declan Donnelly?

  Don't think you're gonna get a basket of sourdough if you order sweetbreads. It's revolting.

• 4:44Ant McPartlin?

  Where have you had that in Ireland?

• 4:46Declan Donnelly?

  I haven't had it. I would not eat that.

• 4:49Ant McPartlin?

  Where have you seen this?

• 4:50Declan Donnelly?

  Muck.

• 4:51Ant McPartlin?

  But where have you seen this?

• 4:51Declan Donnelly?

  On menus before.

• 4:53Speaker 06

  So, sweetbread is the culinary name for the thymus. Do you know what the thymus is?

• 4:56Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 4:57Speaker 06

  The throat, gullet or neck.

• 5:00Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, okay.

• 5:02Declan Donnelly?

  No, right, it's ginger chewing, haven't you? Your stuff's gone green.

• 5:05Ant McPartlin?

  It's not at all.

• 5:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:07Ant McPartlin?

  I'd try, I'd try anything, mate.

• 5:09Declan Donnelly?

  No, you wouldn't.

• 5:09Ant McPartlin?

  I would. I would.

• 5:11Declan Donnelly?

  He's out there giving it all haggis. What else can I have haggis? Sweetbreads? Oh, no.

• 5:16Ant McPartlin?

  No, I'd try it.

• 5:16Declan Donnelly?

  Would you?

• 5:17Ant McPartlin?

  I'd try sweetbreads, yeah.

• 5:18Declan Donnelly?

  No, you would not.

• 5:18Ant McPartlin?

  If it's cooked well from a good chef, then I'd give it a go. I'm not like just letting Fiona bring slop in and I'm gonna guzzle that down.

• 5:27Declan Donnelly?

  Busy fingers there.

• 5:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, all busy fingers, getting busy in the kitchen with gullets and throats. But I don't like kidney. Do you? Do you like liver? Kidney? I can eat it, but I just don't, it's the texture. There's something I don't like about that texture. It's slippery.

• 5:46Declan Donnelly?

  I have a real mental block with eating anything that I've got one of.

• 5:51Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, testicle.

• 5:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I was gonna say though, but.

• 5:55Ant McPartlin?

  Now you've got two of them.

• 5:56Declan Donnelly?

  Liver and onions.

• 5:57Ant McPartlin?

  That's a discount hat. I don't wanna start a rumor here. That Tex only got one testicle. That is not the case. He does have two. You still do, right? Okay, okay. He still has two testicles.

• 6:07Declan Donnelly?

  But like, liver and onions. I've got a liver. I'm not eating that. Steak and kidney pie. Got kidneys. I'm not eating that.

• 6:13Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 6:13Declan Donnelly?

  Like, a tongue sandwich. A tongue sandwich. No, not having that.

• 6:17Ant McPartlin?

  Anyway, so back to the suggestions. Fire them away and I will try and eat as much as I can.

• 6:22Declan Donnelly?

  Sweetbreads on the menu. Coming soon.

• 6:26Ant McPartlin?

  Cooked by a good chef.

• 6:28Declan Donnelly?

  Not you.

• 6:29Ant McPartlin?

  Talking of good chefs, has Jamie Oliver been in touch?

• 6:32Declan Donnelly?

  Do you wish you'd get Jamie to cook some sweetbreads, is he?

• 6:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Jamie Oliver can come and cook me some intestines and I'll eat them.

• 6:37Declan Donnelly?

  Not until September. He's diarrhoeus.

• 6:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, October.

• 6:40Speaker 06

  We actually had quite a lot of people writing in that were a bit upset about the way you were talking about Jamie Oliver.

• 6:46Ant McPartlin?

  What? No, they weren't. No one's on Jamie Oliver's side that much.

• 6:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I think you might be surprised.

• 6:51Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 6:52Speaker 06

  His response was so nice and you kind of looked like.

• 6:54Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, it's no, no, no, no, no, no. I also said Jamie Oliver was a nice guy. Did I or did I not?

• 7:01Declan Donnelly?

  You said it in an aggressive manner.

• 7:02Ant McPartlin?

  I did not say it in an aggressive manner. I said he was a nice guy, but I still disagree with someone being that busy. And I disagree with his choice of pants.

• 7:12Speaker 06

  Well, they wouldn't.

• 7:14Ant McPartlin?

  Who's there?

• 7:15Speaker 06

  Quite a few people.

• 7:16Ant McPartlin?

  Never gonna happen. Ever, ever.

• 7:20Ant McPartlin?

  Ever.

• 7:22Ant McPartlin?

  Okay?

• 7:22Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I think you maybe should.

• 7:25Ant McPartlin?

  To who?

• 7:26Declan Donnelly?

  To the people that were offended.

• 7:28Ant McPartlin?

  They're not offended.

• 7:30Declan Donnelly?

  On behalf of Jamie.

• 7:31Ant McPartlin?

  You can't be offended on behalf of Jamie Oliver. Either he's offended or, or not.

• 7:36Declan Donnelly?

  Is Jamie offended? Have we heard if he's offended?

• 7:38Ant McPartlin?

  No, he doesn't care.

• 7:40Speaker 06

  He's just, he's a really popular guy.

• 7:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know he's popular. I like him too.

• 7:44Speaker 06

  I know, but it's not coming across. Yeah, I think he is a bit offended.

• 7:47Ant McPartlin?

  As well, to be honest. You, hold on, you think he's a bit offended as well, to be honest. Busy fingers, stop getting busy with this subject, Ma. Stay in your lane.

• 7:58Declan Donnelly?

  Will you or will you not apologise to Jimmy Oliver?

• 8:01Ant McPartlin?

  I've got nothing to apologise for. Shut up. No.

• 8:05Declan Donnelly?

  I would apologise to Jimmy Oliver.

• 8:07Ant McPartlin?

  Go on then.

• 8:08Declan Donnelly?

  If I was you.

• 8:08Ant McPartlin?

  No, go on.

• 8:11Declan Donnelly?

  Do you want me to apologise on your behalf?

• 8:12Ant McPartlin?

  Absolutely no way.

• 8:14Declan Donnelly?

  I tried, guys.

• 8:14Ant McPartlin?

  I stand.

• 8:15Declan Donnelly?

  I tried.

• 8:15Ant McPartlin?

  I stand firm.

• 8:18Declan Donnelly?

  I tried to get him to do it, guys, but.

• 8:21Ant McPartlin?

  He failed.

• 8:22Declan Donnelly?

  Tell you what has been lovely. The weather. Hasn't it been brilliant?

• 8:28Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my God, is that where we are?

• 8:30Declan Donnelly?

  No, but.

• 8:31Ant McPartlin?

  What are we, episode 10 and he's talking about the weather?

• 8:33Declan Donnelly?

  No, I'll tell you what's been lovely.

• 8:34Ant McPartlin?

  Have you, have we exhausted every topic? That, well, the weather.

• 8:39Declan Donnelly?

  No, but it feels like spring has sprung. Like the, the cherry blossom's out. The dafts are out.

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 8:46Declan Donnelly?

  The sun is shining in the sky, still a little bit chilly in the mornings. Um, it's fresh, but I love it. It's like spring has sprung, definitely this time.

• 8:54Ant McPartlin?

  I love spring. I do love spring.

• 8:55Declan Donnelly?

  And so, like, I was out with the kids doing all that and then we went down the river, fed the ducks, went out for lunch. Lovely days, man. Really happy.

• 9:05Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 9:06Declan Donnelly?

  Makes such a difference. Spring in my step.

• 9:08Ant McPartlin?

  Spring in your step.

• 9:09Declan Donnelly?

  Spring in me, spring in the air and spring in my step.

• 9:11Ant McPartlin?

  You know what I did do? I took my CBT test.

• 9:15Declan Donnelly?

  Cognitive and behavioural therapy test.

• 9:17Ant McPartlin?

  No, I, I would fail at that if I took it. No, it is, it's, it's your first part of a motorbike test.

• 9:23Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 9:23Ant McPartlin?

  So you can ride up to like a 125 engine motorbike. So just no one tell my mother if, if, if, if, if you see her.

• 9:31Declan Donnelly?

  And she doesn't listen to the podcast, so.

• 9:32Ant McPartlin?

  She's knocking on the podcast, but it's great. You'd love it.

• 9:36Declan Donnelly?

  Would I?

• 9:37Ant McPartlin?

  Absolutely love it. But it was really good. Nice, cool guy called Claudio. He doesn't listen to the podcast either, so I didn't even know why I'm name checking him. But he was a cool guy and a very good instructor. So he said to us, uh, will you be driving an automatic bike or a, a gear bike? I said, automatic. I said, it's electric, the bike I'm going to be riding. I said, so I don't need to do gears. He went, I think you should learn on gears. I said, well, what's the point? I'm not going to be riding a gear bike. You should always give yourself the option in the future. And he did that.

• 10:07Declan Donnelly?

  Did he point at you?

• 10:08Ant McPartlin?

  He pointed. So.

• 10:10Declan Donnelly?

  And I think Claudio should apologise to you or point in your face.

• 10:15Ant McPartlin?

  No, I ended up doing a manual.

• 10:17Declan Donnelly?

  Did you?

• 10:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I was persuaded. He persuaded me by that. I think you should always give yourself the option. It was like, it was, I went, okay Claudio. And before I knew it, I was out the back on a manual bike with a clutch and everything, the gears on the left hand side.

• 10:31Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 10:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but I did it.

• 10:33Declan Donnelly?

  And you passed?

• 10:33Ant McPartlin?

  I passed. Got my certificate. Thank you very much.

• 10:39Ant McPartlin?

  That was a bigger, longer round of applause. I didn't even do it for applause. I didn't, I don't do it for the praise, do you not, mate?

• 10:45Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 10:46Ant McPartlin?

  I just do it for.

• 10:46Declan Donnelly?

  Just to get it from A to B.

• 10:49Ant McPartlin?

  On a B place is quicker.

• 10:51Declan Donnelly?

  I was thinking this week about, you know, your face on that dog's bum? Just in.

• 10:56Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 10:56Declan Donnelly?

  Just in a moment.

• 10:57Ant McPartlin?

  Why are you thinking about dog's bum?

• 10:58Declan Donnelly?

  Jack was in Little Jim. I was sat outside waiting for him. I thought, do you remember that face of Ant's on that dog's bum? But no, I was thinking, remember when we.

• 11:05Ant McPartlin?

  It didn't look like my face.

• 11:06Declan Donnelly?

  It did a bit. Do you remember when we were filming for Saturday Night Takeaway in that big stately home? And we found those paintings.

• 11:12Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, that looked like me.

• 11:13Declan Donnelly?

  That looked like you.

• 11:15Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 11:15Declan Donnelly?

  And I was thinking.

• 11:16Ant McPartlin?

  Have you seen them? I've got it all.

• 11:17Declan Donnelly?

  This could be.

• 11:18Ant McPartlin?

  Don't they look like me? Don't they?

• 11:21Declan Donnelly?

  This could be a discussion topic. If you're just listening, these are two kind of old period paintings that we found in a stately home and both of them look like Ant.

• 11:30Ant McPartlin?

  They do.

• 11:31Declan Donnelly?

  A man in a wig that looks like Ant and then a woman with a little.

• 11:35Ant McPartlin?

  The woman really looks like me. She's got my eyebrows. It's the nose and the eyebrows.

• 11:39Declan Donnelly?

  But that got me thinking about one of our discussion topics, like could be on our extra pod, on the bonus pod, about is Ant actually a time traveller?

• 11:48Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I'd love that. Maybe I am. Maybe I am. Just, I can never reveal it to anyone.

• 11:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you couldn't though, could you? How? Cause your tiny little brains couldn't comprehend the future or the past, you know? So what's the point of saying, guys, I'm a time traveller? Because all you do is say, well, one of the winning lottery numbers then.

• 12:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's gonna be nice, guys.

• 12:10Ant McPartlin?

  Because you're not gonna remember lottery numbers, are you? Or football results or X, Y and Z. You're not gonna remember those boring little details. To see wonderful parts of the whole cosmos.

• 12:21Declan Donnelly?

  Get out of it.

• 12:23Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean? So your, your main point for time travelling is to win the lottery?

• 12:27Declan Donnelly?

  Not win the lottery, but like.

• 12:29Ant McPartlin?

  To see.

• 12:30Declan Donnelly?

  Make the most of that assumed knowledge that I've picked up.

• 12:34Ant McPartlin?

  Which is?

• 12:35Declan Donnelly?

  Like invest in Tesla and.

• 12:38Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, I get that.

• 12:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:39Ant McPartlin?

  Investments I'm up for, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get the investments. But anyway, I'm not a time traveller.

• 12:45Declan Donnelly?

  You're not.

• 12:45Ant McPartlin?

  But even if I was.

• 12:46Declan Donnelly?

  That's disappointing.

• 12:46Ant McPartlin?

  Even if I was.

• 12:47Declan Donnelly?

  That's disappointing.

• 12:47Ant McPartlin?

  I wouldn't tell you. So you'll never, you'll never be quite sure.

• 12:50Declan Donnelly?

  You are a dick, oh, no.

• 12:52Ant McPartlin?

  I could possibly be.

• 12:53Declan Donnelly?

  Could you be?

• 12:53Ant McPartlin?

  Well, of course I could.

• 12:54Declan Donnelly?

  Well, could you be though?

• 12:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, of course I could. I couldn't tell you if I was though.

• 12:57Declan Donnelly?

  You'd tell me, wouldn't you?

• 12:58Ant McPartlin?

  There'd be signs.

• 13:04Declan Donnelly?

  But now you're coming to say that, I think I've seen the signs.

• 13:07Ant McPartlin?

  Have you?

• 13:07Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 13:08Ant McPartlin?

  There you go, they're behind you.

• 13:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Interesting, Mr. Bond.

• 13:12Ant McPartlin?

  So why, why bring this up?

• 13:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, no, but I was thinking if other people have seen themselves as historical figures or in dog's bottoms, then they should send them into us and we can compare a picture of you and a picture of the place that you think you've seen your face.

• 13:28Ant McPartlin?

  Or Dec.

• 13:29Declan Donnelly?

  Or me.

• 13:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. I bet you.

• 13:31Declan Donnelly?

  Just don't send a lot of pictures of Alfie Bo. He started following me on Instagram. Who did Alfie Bo?

• 13:36Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my God, maybe he's a time traveller.

• 13:40Ant McPartlin?

  He's already listened to this pod as it's gone out. He's, he's followed us on Instagram. Cause why else would he follow us if he hadn't heard an episode of this that's gone out in the future? Oh, it's all got a bit weird this today. It's all got a little bit Robinson Meckes.

• 13:58Ant McPartlin?

  This is an advert for Santander who understand that getting started on a goal isn't easy and embracing messy beginnings is how progress happens.

• 14:07Declan Donnelly?

  Now, I was thinking, you know, we talked the other week about when starting SMTV Live.

• 14:10Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 14:10Declan Donnelly?

  How it was chaotic and.

• 14:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, messy.

• 14:13Declan Donnelly?

  Messy.

• 14:13Ant McPartlin?

  Messy beginnings.

• 14:14Declan Donnelly?

  How we didn't know really what we were doing for a couple of months before it became a hit. I was thinking though about previous to that, your Biker Grove audition story. I mean, that nearly didn't happen because you didn't want to take the first step in audition for the show.

• 14:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I was too. So what happened was I was too nervous. I'd got, I'd done a first audition at school when the producers came to the school. And then I got a letter saying come for a second audition, the big proper audition down at the studio. But I got too nervous and I hid the letter and I wasn't going to audition because the nerves got the better of us and I wasn't even going to start. But my friend. Taught my mother about it and she frogmarched me down there and said, just take, just take a chance. Take that first step and if you don't want it, if, if you get the job and you don't want it, that's fair enough. But if you don't take that first step, you'll never know and you'll kick yourself forever.

• 15:05Declan Donnelly?

  And that would be the worst thing is not knowing.

• 15:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 15:08Declan Donnelly?

  When wondering whether you'd have got the part if you hadn't have done it.

• 15:11Ant McPartlin?

  If I had taken that first step.

• 15:13Declan Donnelly?

  This podcast wouldn't have existed.

• 15:13Ant McPartlin?

  And if I'd waited for the perfect time, I would never have done it.

• 15:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, well, there is never a perfect time.

• 15:17Ant McPartlin?

  There's never a perfect time for anything.

• 15:18Declan Donnelly?

  You've just got to do it.

• 15:19Ant McPartlin?

  You've just got to just get started and see where it takes you. And that's what Santander is all about, understanding that beginnings don't have to be perfect. And get it started is what it's all about. Santander, it starts here.

• 15:32Declan Donnelly?

  Now you know me, don't you?

• 15:34Ant McPartlin?

  Can't think so, yeah.

• 15:35Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, I love, uh, a day.

• 15:38Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, National Day or International Day of whatever it is, sausages or eggs, eggs, probably eggs in it.

• 15:44Declan Donnelly?

  It's not, it's not eggs. This is a really interesting one.

• 15:46Ant McPartlin?

  Egg Day, International Eggs.

• 15:48Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 15:48Ant McPartlin?

  Eggs or legs?

• 15:49Declan Donnelly?

  This is National.

• 15:51Ant McPartlin?

  So it hasn't caught on around the world yet?

• 15:52Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, we're starting just here in the UK then, it's going to spread. National Name Yourself Day.

• 15:59Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean?

• 16:00Declan Donnelly?

  Would you like to call yourself something different? Have you ever thought, obviously none of us have had a say into what our names are, unless you've changed your name. So have you ever thought about changing your name?

• 16:10Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 16:10Declan Donnelly?

  I used to do it as a kid.

• 16:11Ant McPartlin?

  To what?

• 16:12Declan Donnelly?

  When I was little, everybody'd go, what, what's your name? Declan, Declan.

• 16:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, right. It was a very popular name.

• 16:17Declan Donnelly?

  It wasn't a very popular name. People didn't know how to spell it, read it. Uh, and you know, when you go into a gift shop and it's always like Toby's room.

• 16:25Ant McPartlin?

  Aye.

• 16:26Declan Donnelly?

  Anthony's room.

• 16:27Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, like Cadbury's done the bars of chocolate with your name on it.

• 16:30Declan Donnelly?

  Never a Declan.

• 16:30Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay. So you wanted a name that was, go on, what was it?

• 16:33Declan Donnelly?

  Kevin.

• 16:34Ant McPartlin?

  Kevin?

• 16:35Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm. After Kevin Keegan, who was my hero. So I'm only called after Kevin.

• 16:39Ant McPartlin?

  You hear babies being called Kevin now, do you?

• 16:41Declan Donnelly?

  No, you don't hear it.

• 16:42Ant McPartlin?

  There it is, little baby Kevin. You don't, do you?

• 16:44Declan Donnelly?

  Don't hear a lot of Kevins.

• 16:45Ant McPartlin?

  That's probably one of those names that is just disappearing.

• 16:48Declan Donnelly?

  Down the charts.

• 16:49Ant McPartlin?

  Going down the charts.

• 16:49Declan Donnelly?

  If you had to pick another name for yourself, what would you call yourself? And you can't have Tony.

• 16:53Ant McPartlin?

  I don't want to be called Tony. I don't want to be called Tony, thank you. Not Tony, not Mark. I like Anthony. It's a solid name.

• 17:01Declan Donnelly?

  But if you had to.

• 17:02Ant McPartlin?

  Orlando.

• 17:05Ant McPartlin?

  What's wrong with that?

• 17:06Declan Donnelly?

  Nothing.

• 17:06Ant McPartlin?

  Or Landon McPartlin. It's good, isn't it?

• 17:08Declan Donnelly?

  It's strong.

• 17:09Ant McPartlin?

  You're jealous, it's better than Kevin.

• 17:10Declan Donnelly?

  It's a good stage name.

• 17:11Ant McPartlin?

  It's stronger than Kevin.

• 17:12Declan Donnelly?

  Kevin Donnelly, I think, has got a good thing to it.

• 17:14Ant McPartlin?

  Kevin Donnelly. Sounds like me neighbour. Whoa, we've got a ball of paper, not just an aeroplane.

• 17:19Declan Donnelly?

  No aeroplanes this week.

• 17:20Ant McPartlin?

  We're going to need to unfurl this. Talking of names. Bethens across the country have been in touch.

• 17:27Declan Donnelly?

  Should I read this?

• 17:29Ant McPartlin?

  I think you probably should.

• 17:29Declan Donnelly?

  Come on.

• 17:30Ant McPartlin?

  Before you read it, though, were you going to name your kids anything other than what they're named now? Like, were they, were they called something for a short period of time?

• 17:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, actually.

• 17:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, because Wilder was Heath. Not Heath Ledger.

• 17:43Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Ant McPartlin?

  For, for a short period. We thought, we wanted something that was, you know, named after nature. We've got puppy and a daisy. We thought Heath's nice.

• 17:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, nice.

• 17:51Ant McPartlin?

  But then we just worried that it might be mispronounced as Keith. Which isn't the coolest of names right now. It's a little bit like Kevin.

• 17:59Declan Donnelly?

  And as you say, it's probably going down the charts.

• 18:00Ant McPartlin?

  Going down the charts. So we were like, we can't do that to him. We can't, we can't call him Heath. Because it'll be mispronounced as Keith.

• 18:06Declan Donnelly?

  How long was he Heath?

• 18:07Ant McPartlin?

  Couple of weeks.

• 18:08Declan Donnelly?

  Really?

• 18:09Ant McPartlin?

  On a list, on a, on a list. And then Wilder came along, we're like, that's it. That's the one.

• 18:13Declan Donnelly?

  Jack was Edward for 24 Hours.

• 18:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, nice. Nice name. Strong name.

• 18:18Declan Donnelly?

  Strong name. A good family name on my side and the wife's side.

• 18:21Ant McPartlin?

  Right, yeah.

• 18:22Declan Donnelly?

  Current Mrs Donnelly also has Edwards in her family. So that's a good family name.

• 18:27Ant McPartlin?

  That is good.

• 18:28Declan Donnelly?

  And then we had a minor disagreement in the hospital after he was born.

• 18:31Ant McPartlin?

  Which was?

• 18:32Declan Donnelly?

  We couldn't agree on what we would be shortened to. So she wanted to call him Teddy.

• 18:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 18:38Declan Donnelly?

  And I was going to call him Eddie.

• 18:40Ant McPartlin?

  Right, so that can't be right. If you're going to have a nickname, it's got to be the same.

• 18:44Declan Donnelly?

  We've got to agree on it. So we couldn't agree, so we changed the whole name.

• 18:48Ant McPartlin?

  I like it. It's a good way to, it's a good way to solve an argument, isn't it?

• 18:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we had to, we had to change it.

• 18:53Ant McPartlin?

  Let's throw the baby out with the bath water. Start again. Right, Bethany, Bethan.

• 18:57Declan Donnelly?

  So Bethens across the country have been in touch since you said Bethan isn't a proper name.

• 19:03Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh. Go on. Prove me wrong.

• 19:05Declan Donnelly?

  Bethan Parfit says, Bethans of the world unite. I can't believe Ant didn't know Bethan was a name. It's a Welsh name and there were three Bethans in my primary school class of thirty people.

• 19:17Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's good for her, but I've not met one.

• 19:19Declan Donnelly?

  And ten in my secondary school year in Newport. What a silly goose.

• 19:24Ant McPartlin?

  How convenient, Bethan, that the only other Bethans you know went to your primary school and then your secondary school. And I've never met them.

• 19:31Declan Donnelly?

  Another Bethan says, on behalf of Bethans everywhere, I wanted to share that of course it's a real name. Bethan is in fact the Welsh version of Elizabeth.

• 19:39Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 19:44Ant McPartlin?

  How silly of me.

• 19:45Declan Donnelly?

  Something that as a Welsh woman, I'm very passionate about.

• 19:48Ant McPartlin?

  You went to start your work.

• 19:49Declan Donnelly?

  I discussed that yesterday. I'm very passionate about.

• 19:52Ant McPartlin?

  That's good.

• 19:53Declan Donnelly?

  You also pronounce it as Bethan, as it's Welsh, Bethan.

• 19:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, okay. Now that's all right. Yeah, okay.

• 20:00Declan Donnelly?

  Other outraged Bethans who have written in are Bethan Wyn Jones, Bethan G from Lichfield, Bethan R from Swindon, Bethan Gray from South Wales, who said, since he thinks my name doesn't exist, I will refer to Ant as Tony. Sorry, Ant, but you brought this on yourself.

• 20:17Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what? Just because I don't know something, it shouldn't have to bring on this amount of.

• 20:23Declan Donnelly?

  Vitriol.

• 20:23Ant McPartlin?

  Vitriol and criticism. I didn't know that. I didn't go to primary school with Bethans or secondary school with Bethans.

• 20:31Declan Donnelly?

  Do you think these Bethans owe you an apology?

• 20:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I do, actually. Yeah, yeah. Can you make it on their behalf?

• 20:38Declan Donnelly?

  One of the Bethans says, we will apologize as a collective of Bethans if Ant apologizes to Jamie Oliver.

• 20:44Ant McPartlin?

  No, I did not say that. Shut up. I've got nothing to apologize to Jamie Oliver for, although I do have a lot to apologize to the Bethans for.

• 20:54Declan Donnelly?

  So here we go.

• 20:55Ant McPartlin?

  Didn't know it was a name, so sorry.

• 20:58Ant McPartlin?

  Ah!

• 21:00Declan Donnelly?

  We have got one more Bethan here. Uh, we've got the full letter. Dear Ant and Dec.

• 21:07Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 21:08Declan Donnelly?

  Spelt with a K, I'll see past that, Bethan.

• 21:10Ant McPartlin?

  Has she? Like, deck chair. Brilliant, brilliant.

• 21:14Declan Donnelly?

  Dear Ant and Dec with a K. I think you will be shocked to hear this, but to your surprise, my name is Bethan.

• 21:22Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not shocked now, Bethan, because we've been through it. But go on, carry on.

• 21:25Declan Donnelly?

  To your surprise. I had seen a short clip of you saying, can you actually get that as a name? She's seen a short clip, she hasn't watched the whole pod.

• 21:31Ant McPartlin?

  What are you, what are, hold on, why have you not subscribed to Belt the Box, to watch the whole pod? She'll not see this then, will she?

• 21:37Declan Donnelly?

  No, unless we clip this up. Can we clip this up?

• 21:39Ant McPartlin?

  No, don't send it to her.

• 21:40Declan Donnelly?

  I had seen a short clip of you saying, can you actually get that as a name? And this is when my mum said, maybe you should write a letter to them and say that you can. And this is then yet another thing. I decide I will and then start writing. I got quite excited for the thought of you knowing that it could be a name. Then you should know.

• 22:04Declan Donnelly?

  Then you would know one person called Bethan. That's from Bethan, age nine.

• 22:09Ant McPartlin?

  Oh!

• 22:11Declan Donnelly?

  Isn't that a lovely letter?

• 22:12Ant McPartlin?

  It's a lovely letter. I mean, there's a lot of talk about the thought process into the letter writing and less letter.

• 22:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 22:18Ant McPartlin?

  There's not much letter.

• 22:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. It's, it's quite, it's quite a meta letter. She's, she's taught us to the, she's taught us to the process of writing a letter. I love that, Bethan.

• 22:27Ant McPartlin?

  And by the time you get to the end of the process of writing the letter, the letter's finished. I'd like more letter from, from her. From Bethan.

• 22:35Declan Donnelly?

  More letter from Bethan.

• 22:36Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Okay, apologize. I, I, my biggest apology is to you. Bethan age nine.

• 22:41Declan Donnelly?

  And to all Bethans out there, respect, guys.

• 22:44Ant McPartlin?

  But not Jamie Oliver.

• 22:50Declan Donnelly?

  So it's a very special moment today.

• 22:52Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I can tell we've all got hats on, there's a banner saying happy birthday.

• 22:57Declan Donnelly?

  Do you know why?

• 22:57Ant McPartlin?

  Busy finger's birthday.

• 22:58Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not a birthday. This podcast comes out on the

• 23:02Ant McPartlin?

  It's brought to you by.

• 23:02Declan Donnelly?

  This podcast comes out on the 9th of April 2026.

• 23:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 23:08Declan Donnelly?

  Today's diary entry is the 9th of April 1994. It's on, it's the diary's 32nd birthday!

• 23:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, 32 years ago to the day.

• 23:20Ant McPartlin?

  Wow.

• 23:21Declan Donnelly?

  Since we wrote this diary.

• 23:22Ant McPartlin?

  That's what you were doing 32 years ago.

• 23:24Declan Donnelly?

  Mad, isn't it?

• 23:25Ant McPartlin?

  You're the time traveller.

• 23:26Declan Donnelly?

  Could be.

• 23:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, maybe it is, though.

• 23:29Declan Donnelly?

  Just lived.

• 23:32Declan Donnelly?

  Having travelled in time, it's been a long 32 years to get here.

• 23:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, good point.

• 23:36Declan Donnelly?

  What else happened on this day in 1994, Jemima? Anything of note? It was a Saturday, if I remember rightly.

• 23:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:42Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you remember it because you've wrote it.

• 23:44Declan Donnelly?

  It was a Saturday, I know that because we appeared on Live and Kicking with Andy Peters, Emma Forbes, John Barman a little bit.

• 23:49Ant McPartlin?

  Hello. No, no, no, okay.

• 23:53Declan Donnelly?

  What else happened in 1994 on the 9th of April?

• 23:55Speaker 06

  Do you want to guess who was top of the box office?

• 23:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 23:57Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, box office.

• 23:58Ant McPartlin?

  Not Jurassic Park, that was before 94. Mind you, there might have been sequels.

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  Toy Story.

• 24:03Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 24:04Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good shout.

• 24:05Speaker 06

  It's not as fun as Toy Story.

• 24:07Ant McPartlin?

  Not as fun as Toy Story.

• 24:08Declan Donnelly?

  Schindler's List.

• 24:09Ant McPartlin?

  Schindler's List.

• 24:10Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 24:10Declan Donnelly?

  There you go. Good clue.

• 24:12Speaker 06

  Another big popular film in the cinema at this time.

• 24:16Declan Donnelly?

  Toy Story.

• 24:16Speaker 06

  Changed the career for a big British.

• 24:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, For Wednesday's Funeral.

• 24:21Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 24:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 24:22Declan Donnelly?

  Two grand.

• 24:22Speaker 06

  Yep. Top of the UK charts?

• 24:25Ant McPartlin?

  Was.

• 24:25Declan Donnelly?

  D. Ream, Things Can Only Get Better.

• 24:28Speaker 06

  No.

• 24:29Ant McPartlin?

  Martin Morrison, Return of the Mac.

• 24:31Declan Donnelly?

  Oswald, Don't Turn Around.

• 24:33Speaker 06

  No, do we tell you?

• 24:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 24:34Speaker 06

  Take That, Everything Changes.

• 24:36Ant McPartlin?

  Everything Changes.

• 24:37Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm. Who was going out with who? Who was Gwyneth Paltrow going out with?

• 24:42Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, not Chris Martin.

• 24:43Speaker 06

  No.

• 24:44Declan Donnelly?

  Who did she go out with before Chris Martin? Um.

• 24:47Ant McPartlin?

  Don't know.

• 24:48Declan Donnelly?

  Brad Pitt.

• 24:49Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 24:49Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, well done.

• 24:50Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks.

• 24:50Speaker 06

  Who was Cindy Crawford going out with?

• 24:52Ant McPartlin?

  Richard Gere.

• 24:53Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 24:54Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, me. Thank you.

• 24:55Declan Donnelly?

  I don't have to.

• 24:56Speaker 06

  And who was on the front cover of OK Magazine in April 1994?

• 25:01Ant McPartlin?

  Liza Minnelli! Was that Liza Minnelli?

• 25:05Speaker 06

  No.

• 25:05Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, it's normally Liza Minnelli though, isn't it?

• 25:08Declan Donnelly?

  Lisa Stansfield.

• 25:09Speaker 06

  No.

• 25:10Ant McPartlin?

  Noel Ledman's.

• 25:11Speaker 06

  No.

• 25:12Ant McPartlin?

  Is this OK, UK, OK?

• 25:14Speaker 06

  OK, UK.

• 25:15Declan Donnelly?

  OK, UK, OK. I'm okay, you okay?

• 25:19Ant McPartlin?

  You okay?

• 25:21Declan Donnelly?

  Um.

• 25:22Speaker 06

  Do you want to tell you?

• 25:23Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 25:23Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 25:24Declan Donnelly?

  Absolutely not.

• 25:25Speaker 06

  So do you know who was on Ja- in January? Someone, a friend of the show from last week.

• 25:28Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 25:30Ant McPartlin?

  Jimmy Oliver?

• 25:31Speaker 06

  No.

• 25:32Declan Donnelly?

  Michael Sheen?

• 25:33Speaker 06

  No. She popped in last week.

• 25:35Declan Donnelly?

  Cher.

• 25:36Ant McPartlin?

  Cher!

• 25:37Declan Donnelly?

  Cher was.

• 25:37Speaker 06

  In January.

• 25:38Ant McPartlin?

  Cher's okay, you okay?

• 25:40Speaker 06

  She's okay. But April 1994.

• 25:44Ant McPartlin?

  Hugh Grant?

• 25:46Speaker 06

  No. It is Daniel, Ducrette and Princess Stephanie.

• 25:50Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, we're never gonna get that. You should have ended that a lot earlier.

• 25:52Ant McPartlin?

  No, I should have known that. I thought it was that too, man.

• 25:55Speaker 06

  But next month, next month on Okay?

• 25:56Declan Donnelly?

  Next month?

• 25:57Speaker 06

  May, Okay?

• 25:58Declan Donnelly?

  Is it us for Why Me, the single? When we get in the charts?

• 26:02Speaker 06

  Robin Williams.

• 26:03Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, nice.

• 26:05Speaker 06

  Would you like your birthday jingle?

• 26:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, do we have a birthday jingle?

• 26:09Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, have we got a birthday jingle?

• 26:09Ant McPartlin?

  This is a diary jingle for the birthdays, 32 second birthday special.

• 26:13Speaker 06

  Special.

• 26:13Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, you okay?

• 26:14Speaker 06

  Birthday jingle.

• 26:14Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, let's go.

• 26:15Speaker 06

  Okay, you okay?

• 26:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, okay.

• 26:17Declan Donnelly?

  Hit it!

• 26:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 26:20Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, we love, we love these guys.

• 26:22Declan Donnelly?

  This is Mr Jemima again.

• 26:37Declan Donnelly?

  Is that Mr or Mrs Jemima again?

• 26:38Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 26:39Declan Donnelly?

  That is fantastic.

• 26:40Ant McPartlin?

  Proper professionals, aren't they? They're just solid. You know what you're getting. Solid that is. It's cultural, it's good.

• 26:47Declan Donnelly?

  Very highbrow.

• 26:48Ant McPartlin?

  Very highbrow. As opposed to this diary. Hit it!

• 26:53Declan Donnelly?

  The 9th of April 1994. Day 13 of Life on the Road.

• 26:58Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, unlucky for some. Let's hope it was lucky for you.

• 27:01Declan Donnelly?

  Up at 6.30.

• 27:02Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, early though.

• 27:03Declan Donnelly?

  And showered, ready to leave at 8am. Give myself an hour and a half to get ready.

• 27:08Ant McPartlin?

  Wow!

• 27:09Declan Donnelly?

  Why did you do that?

• 27:10Ant McPartlin?

  It's the haircut.

• 27:11Declan Donnelly?

  Do you think that's what it was?

• 27:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it was.

• 27:12Declan Donnelly?

  Teasing the curtains?

• 27:13Ant McPartlin?

  The book crack, what's it called? The bu- the books with punch?

• 27:17Declan Donnelly?

  Punch, yeah.

• 27:18Ant McPartlin?

  Book, book. Book cut! Yeah, it's.

• 27:21Declan Donnelly?

  Punch.

• 27:23Ant McPartlin?

  It's when people's jeans are too tight for the butt munch, you know, and it goes up the butt crack.

• 27:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we know what it is.

• 27:31Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, okay, okay. In case you didn't know, if you're just listening.

• 27:36Declan Donnelly?

  It was a real killer having to get up at that time after only a few hours in bed and only a couple of them sleeping.

• 27:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what? What were you doing, you devil?

• 27:45Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 27:46Ant McPartlin?

  You dirty dog?

• 27:47Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know. I must have taken a while to get to sleep.

• 27:51Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, is that it?

• 27:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I think so. The crew without to film us.

• 27:54Ant McPartlin?

  What? In bed?

• 27:57Ant McPartlin?

  What? That's why he couldn't sleep? Do you have a camera crew filming you? Are you still there? Are you still there, guys? Are you still there? I can't sleep.

• 28:05Declan Donnelly?

  The crew without to film us in all our tired glory. So if you remember, there's a behind the scenes, fly on the wall documentary crew with us. The crew without to film us in all our tired glory.

• 28:18Declan Donnelly?

  And also every pissy detail, nothing could go unrecorded. I did well to break away and take a dump.

• 28:25Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, why didn't you admit that?

• 28:29Declan Donnelly?

  I thought, no, it's not like me, is it?

• 28:30Ant McPartlin?

  I don't mind the sexual innuendos, but it's the tone of humour. I draw a line. I draw a line. Oh, you talk about your dumps.

• 28:37Declan Donnelly?

  The interview went very well on live and kicking.

• 28:39Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 28:40Declan Donnelly?

  And we had to do a monk sketch with Trevor and Simon. What plums we looked.

• 28:47Ant McPartlin?

  What plums we looked.

• 28:49Declan Donnelly?

  The girls went crazy.

• 28:51Ant McPartlin?

  He's really obsessed with the girls' reaction to everything, isn't he? Oh, you know, you're obsessed. The girls went wild. The girls went crazy. How did you spell crazy?

• 29:01Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, just, uh, just, just in a way, C R A Z Y.

• 29:03Ant McPartlin?

  Not with a K.

• 29:04Declan Donnelly?

  Outside TV centre. And I honestly thought the windows of the car were going to come through. It was manic.

• 29:10Ant McPartlin?

  Manic.

• 29:11Declan Donnelly?

  After a light lunch, we headed. That doesn't say.

• 29:15Ant McPartlin?

  More detail. I'd like more detail, please.

• 29:16Declan Donnelly?

  After a light lunch, we headed to Kent for a lazy afternoon, a nice meal, a bit of telly and back into bed by 1am.

• 29:25Ant McPartlin?

  With the crew filming?

• 29:26Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think the crew were filming and I don't know if I had another dump.

• 29:29Ant McPartlin?

  Well, stop it. Happy birthday diary.

• 29:34Declan Donnelly?

  Happy birthday diary.

• 29:35Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday diary. There's no detail on the light lunch, no detail on what we thought of Andy Peters.

• 29:40Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 29:40Ant McPartlin?

  Who we know very well now.

• 29:41Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 29:42Ant McPartlin?

  He actually sent us a video.

• 29:44Declan Donnelly?

  Andy Peters, uh, was on a shoot and the sound recorderist.

• 29:49Declan Donnelly?

  Kept asking him what he'd rate everything. How many bananas would you give that coffee, Andy?

• 29:52Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, he would. Yeah, she did, yeah.

• 29:54Declan Donnelly?

  The sound recorder was obsessed with the podcast.

• 29:57Ant McPartlin?

  That's good to hear.

• 29:58Declan Donnelly?

  And he was very annoyed. So there we go. That is the ninth of April, nineteen ninety-four.

• 30:04Ant McPartlin?

  If you think about it, thirty-two years ago.

• 30:06Declan Donnelly?

  I know.

• 30:07Ant McPartlin?

  Right. Put yourself back in young Declan's shoes, when the girls were going crazy.

• 30:11Declan Donnelly?

  Socks.

• 30:12Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, dirty socks. Did you think you'd still be in the music business? Did you hope you would be an actor? What did you think?

• 30:22Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I didn't think we'd still be in the music business because we weren't that good at it.

• 30:26Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 30:27Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, maybe like thought we were going to acting or something else. Even when we were back there at nineteen, even thinking five years ahead seemed a bit of a stretch.

• 30:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 30:36Declan Donnelly?

  Like, five years seemed like a lifetime.

• 30:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it does, especially in your teens, your late teens. It just, it does feel like a lifetime.

• 30:42Declan Donnelly?

  I remember doing interviews for like Smash Hits and stuff and they go, where do you want to be in five years' time? You go, that's ages away. Now, here we are, thirty-two years later, combing through the old diary.

• 30:53Ant McPartlin?

  But everything, like, our career has had real moments of serendipity, hasn't it? You know, right place, right time. You know, some things have worked, some things haven't worked. You know, if you had asked us when we launched Saturday Night Takeaway, how long that would run for, neither of us would have said twenty series. We just wouldn't, you know? We never thought it would have been going for two decades. No one would have, neither of us would have said that I'm starting to get mad if it would be going on to its twenty-fifth year, twenty-sixth year, whatever it is. Can't even remember. You know, that would have spawned a spin-off show set in South Africa, which is on at the minute. So you've just, you've got no way of knowing.

• 31:31Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 31:32Ant McPartlin?

  I think back then I would have hoped that we were in the entertainment business because we enjoyed it so much.

• 31:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Ant McPartlin?

  But, God, I mean, yeah, I agree with you. I never thought we'd be singing for a long time. I always saw it as a... You know, quite a fleeting thing.

• 31:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's mad that we're here, though, doing this. One of my favourite things as well is when we hear from the audience in comments or when you email us or whatever, and such a lot of our audience have grown up with us as well. Started around the same age as us, watching Biker Grove and followed our music career and then into the TV stuff. And it's nice to have that, like the diary, um, couple of weeks ago with the, uh, the Radio On Road show in Edinburgh.

• 32:16Ant McPartlin?

  Different point of view.

• 32:17Declan Donnelly?

  It's just brilliant that such a lot of our audience have grown up with us.

• 32:19Ant McPartlin?

  We've grown up together.

• 32:20Declan Donnelly?

  And we never ever take that for granted either, so.

• 32:22Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you.

• 32:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, on our thirty second birthday, or, or on the diary's thirty second birthday, thank you.

• 32:28Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you very much.

• 32:29Declan Donnelly?

  Sticking with us and still enjoying it.

• 32:31Ant McPartlin?

  Here's to the next thirty two.

• 32:36Declan Donnelly?

  This is an advert for Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant.

• 32:40Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, beating the butchers again.

• 32:42Declan Donnelly?

  Have you?

• 32:42Ant McPartlin?

  Obs, and I wanna do something different.

• 32:44Declan Donnelly?

  Need some inspiration.

• 32:45Ant McPartlin?

  I need some inspiration, so I thought we could ask Gemini.

• 32:48Declan Donnelly?

  What would be really inspirational is to get something that you could do with meat.

• 32:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 32:52Declan Donnelly?

  But then combine your love of bananas, or.

• 32:55Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, yes, ask Gemini.

• 32:58Declan Donnelly?

  All right. Gemini, can you give us some examples of dishes from around the world that combine meat and bananas?

• 33:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 33:06Speaker 07

  You can find meat and banana in various cuisines. The easiest one would probably be a simple Caribbean stew.

• 33:15Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm, Caribbean stew, I like it.

• 33:17Declan Donnelly?

  I like that. What other foods could you pair bananas with, Gemini?

• 33:20Speaker 07

  Bananas pair quite well with warm spices like cinnamon, nutmeg and clove. They also contrast nicely with tangy flavours like lime or orange. For something savoury, they can be a great addition to dishes with pork or chicken, balancing the richness.

• 33:38Ant McPartlin?

  Pork and banana.

• 33:39Declan Donnelly?

  I would never have thought that.

• 33:40Ant McPartlin?

  I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do a pork and banana dish.

• 33:43Declan Donnelly?

  With Gemini, you can chat with a truly helpful AI assistant.

• 33:47Ant McPartlin?

  You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details, you can even show it what you're talking about.

• 33:52Declan Donnelly?

  It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 33:56Ant McPartlin?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the real power of Google AI on your phone.

• 34:01Declan Donnelly?

  Check responses, setup required.

• 34:03Ant McPartlin?

  Compatibility and availability varies. Eighteen plus.

• 34:10Speaker 00

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.

• 34:20Speaker 01

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• 34:21Speaker 00

  But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Taylor Hansen? Nice. Try one. Mmm.

• 34:33Speaker 02

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• 35:11Ant McPartlin?

  What I haven't mentioned, which I should mention, what I have been doing is watching American Celebrity South Africa.

• 35:17Declan Donnelly?

  Oh!

• 35:18Ant McPartlin?

  South Africa!

• 35:18Declan Donnelly?

  How good is it?

• 35:19Ant McPartlin?

  It's good, isn't it? Yeah? Gemma Collins and Craig Charles, their introduction was epic, and their first eating trial was just insane.

• 35:30Declan Donnelly?

  It took almost four hours to complete that trial.

• 35:33Ant McPartlin?

  So, you know when they came out and they sat down and then they had to eat followed the other side?

• 35:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 35:38Ant McPartlin?

  It went on so long that Adam Thomas was literally falling asleep. It took that long. I think it's the longest trial ever. It's a new record. Four, what did you say it was?

• 35:47Declan Donnelly?

  It was four hours.

• 35:48Ant McPartlin?

  Four hours for a trial in the middle of the night.

• 35:51Declan Donnelly?

  Adam Thomas kept falling asleep and then he'd just wake up and go, "Come on, Gemma, you can do it!"

• 35:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he did.

• 35:58Declan Donnelly?

  Just pop back up again.

• 35:59Ant McPartlin?

  Ashley Roberts, she was gone as well. Elbow drop. But it's great, though. And see, week one is really strong.

• 36:06Declan Donnelly?

  It's really good.

• 36:06Ant McPartlin?

  And then...

• 36:07Declan Donnelly?

  Week two.

• 36:08Ant McPartlin?

  We've got two more late entries coming, the end of this week. And then week two, it just goes off again to another gear. It's just, it's got everything. There's laughs, there's arguments, isn't there?

• 36:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 36:21Ant McPartlin?

  Drama. It's got everything this series, so if you haven't started watching, start watching.

• 36:25Declan Donnelly?

  Catch up on ITVX and yeah, follow the rest of it. It's very good.

• 36:31Ant McPartlin?

  It's funny, very funny. I've got something quite serious to talk about now.

• 36:34Declan Donnelly?

  Oh dear.

• 36:36Ant McPartlin?

  You know, I introduced this banana rating.

• 36:39Declan Donnelly?

  You did?

• 36:39Ant McPartlin?

  About rating TV shows or films or music or anything.

• 36:43Declan Donnelly?

  Anything at all.

• 36:43Ant McPartlin?

  Anything you want with bananas.

• 36:45Declan Donnelly?

  Maximum of eight bananas, which is the current world record for the most bananas eaten in one minute.

• 36:50Ant McPartlin?

  And so far it's gone well, hasn't it?

• 36:52Declan Donnelly?

  It's absolutely taken off. It's soared.

• 36:56Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I rated something according to my score, The Last Frontier.

• 37:00Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, the TV show?

• 37:01Ant McPartlin?

  Do you remember I said it started really strongly, first great first episode?

• 37:04Declan Donnelly?

  Plane crash with all of the prisoners shackled.

• 37:06Ant McPartlin?

  Really good. And then a couple of patchy episodes, but then I was picking back up again. I'd like to take away all of my bananas, every single one.

• 37:16Declan Donnelly?

  A zero rated banana TV show?

• 37:19Ant McPartlin?

  And I'll tell you for why, because I got to the very last episode and it is so far fetched. I was getting angrier and angrier and angrier with the writers. It was almost as if like a 10 year old had came in and finished the script. There was, the, the plot just got ridiculous. The, everything about every character just got silly. And it got so far fetched, I stopped it with 27 minutes to go and said, I'm not completing the series. So my wife was like, well, I'm gonna finish then, just to see how it ends. I went, no. In protest to how bad it had gotten, I'm never gonna finish it off. So I'm stripping all of the bananas away from its rating.

• 38:02Ant McPartlin?

  And just from now on, pretend I haven't even rated it.

• 38:05Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 38:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. And my pledge to you all now is I'm not gonna even give anything a banana rating until I've seen it to the end.

• 38:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 38:16Ant McPartlin?

  I think I went, it's my fault.

• 38:17Declan Donnelly?

  First episode was very exciting.

• 38:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. So if you wanna watch a great first episode of it, then watch that. That's eight bananas for a first episode. But it gets worse and got so bad, I couldn't even finish it off.

• 38:29Declan Donnelly?

  Is it as bad as the ending of Lost?

• 38:31Ant McPartlin?

  It's worse than the ending of Lost because it's just so ridiculous. Ridiculous. And I can, you know, I can sit through big blockbuster movies where you go, ah, it's a bit hokey, but aye, it's a bit of fun and we all know what we're in for. But with this, I was just like, nobody, nobody can cheat death that many times. Nobody can. It just, ah, it's just, oh, corny, corny.

• 38:55Declan Donnelly?

  A first.

• 38:56Ant McPartlin?

  Has anybody, if you've started it, because I rated the first episode so highly, I do apologize.

• 39:02Declan Donnelly?

  Get out while you can.

• 39:03Ant McPartlin?

  Waste, don't waste any more time.

• 39:05Declan Donnelly?

  Jamie Oliver started it on your say so. Do you want to apologize to him?

• 39:08Ant McPartlin?

  No, I apologize to anybody who started watching it on my say so, but not Jamie. If Jamie, Jamie Oliver started watching it, I can't apologize to you. I'm afraid I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't.

• 39:19Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, he's stubborn, isn't he?

• 39:20Ant McPartlin?

  I can't.

• 39:20Declan Donnelly?

  So stubborn.

• 39:21Ant McPartlin?

  Very stubborn when it comes to celebrity chefs.

• 39:26Ant McPartlin?

  So there.

• 39:27Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I was not expecting that.

• 39:29Ant McPartlin?

  I have started Pluribus, but I can't give you a banana rating until I finish it.

• 39:33Declan Donnelly?

  Is it good?

• 39:34Ant McPartlin?

  It's a really good first episode, but I can't review it with bananas.

• 39:39Declan Donnelly?

  Not yet.

• 39:39Ant McPartlin?

  Because I've just pledged, I've just pledged, I can't do that.

• 39:42Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, well, we will watch this space. Speaking of banana ratings.

• 39:45Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 39:46Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, we threw the challenge out there to sit through ninety two minutes of Alien Autopsy. Did anybody watch Alien Autopsy? Have we? We all did. You all did?

• 39:54Ant McPartlin?

  You did?

• 39:55Declan Donnelly?

  Did anybody in the comments watch it? Yeah. Oh, we've got a few. So first of all, so you guys here in Heckler's Corner, what did you make of Alien Autopsy? We all did. Be brutal, be brutal, the critics will be.

• 40:06Speaker 06

  Christ. Yeah. Yeah. It was giving me a kind of like Shaun of the Dead vibes, like. Yeah. I thought it was gonna be super serious, but I liked the comedy of it as well. Like, the actual autopsy was really making me laugh.

• 40:18Ant McPartlin?

  Was it?

• 40:18Speaker 06

  Filming of the autopsy.

• 40:19Declan Donnelly?

  Would you like a biscuit?

• 40:20Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 40:21Speaker 06

  It was really funny. I thought it was great. And I loved your hair.

• 40:25Ant McPartlin?

  My?

• 40:27Ant McPartlin?

  What, the side part then?

• 40:30Speaker 06

  I feel a bit starstruck.

• 40:32Ant McPartlin?

  Shut up.

• 40:33Declan Donnelly?

  Being in the studio with actual movie stars.

• 40:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:36Declan Donnelly?

  That's understandable.

• 40:37Speaker 06

  I'm really curious to know, were you ever gonna play the other part?

• 40:41Declan Donnelly?

  We read for both parts. And we kicked it around a bit and it was ultimately the director that chose us, but we read both parts and

• 40:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we did, yeah.

• 40:49Declan Donnelly?

  We played both parts.

• 40:50Speaker 06

  Do you want my banana rating?

• 40:51Ant McPartlin?

  We would like a banana rating from all of you, so we can give it a proper banana rating on Letterboxd.

• 40:57Declan Donnelly?

  Lola's been very quiet. I think she hated it.

• 40:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I don't think she liked it, but that's fine. That's fine.

• 41:04Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, Jemima.

• 41:05Speaker 06

  I'd give it six bananas.

• 41:06Ant McPartlin?

  Six out of eight?

• 41:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:07Ant McPartlin?

  I love that. I'll take that.

• 41:08Declan Donnelly?

  That's quite high.

• 41:09Ant McPartlin?

  That's quite high.

• 41:10Speaker 07

  I was gonna say that too.

• 41:11Declan Donnelly?

  Fiona, six out of eight?

• 41:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Fiona.

• 41:13Speaker 06

  I was gonna say five and a half, but I was really engaged. No, because basically I was really engaged and I was really into it and then I lost attention and I ended up on TikTok. But that was just a me problem. That's not a you problem.

• 41:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I feel like it is an us problem. If we haven't kept your attention to the end of the movie, that's an us problem.

• 41:34Speaker 06

  I made it like 40 minutes.

• 41:36Speaker 07

  You can't give a proper rating then, because you've not finished it.

• 41:39Speaker 06

  As of today.

• 41:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, five and a half doesn't drag your banana rating down, does it? We'll keep it at six.

• 41:45Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:45Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:47Speaker 06

  Well, we've got some listener ones as well, so I'll add them and I'll work out the mean.

• 41:51Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 41:51Ant McPartlin?

  Bye, okay.

• 41:52Declan Donnelly?

  We've got some ratings here. Alien Autopsy banana ratings, five bananas for Alien Autopsy on Letterboxd. That's from Nicola Bezic.

• 42:00Ant McPartlin?

  Five?

• 42:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, she doesn't elaborate on it. She just says five.

• 42:03Ant McPartlin?

  Solid. I'll take that. Thanks.

• 42:04Declan Donnelly?

  Beverly in East Riden of Yorkshire, after watching your latest podcast, Me, My Mum, Donna, we're intrigued about your film Alien Autopsy, so we decided to watch it. After watching, we discussed it and collectively, this is between the two of them, have given it three bananas.

• 42:17Speaker 06

  What?

• 42:18Declan Donnelly?

  That's one and a half bananas each.

• 42:20Ant McPartlin?

  That is really low. It's not that bad. It's higher than a three.

• 42:24Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks, Beverly and Donna.

• 42:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, no thanks. Thanks for what?

• 42:27Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I wish you hadn't bothered. Yo, Ant Dec.

• 42:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yo.

• 42:31Declan Donnelly?

  I love your movie Alien Autopsy. It's so funny. It's es mundu. Eight bananas.

• 42:37Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 42:37Declan Donnelly?

  That's from JJ.

• 42:38Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, JJ. I feel like you're being slightly sarcastic, but that really helps our average.

• 42:43Declan Donnelly?

  Kate Mitchell says, hi team. Snuggled up on the sofa today when Alien Autopsy came on the telly. And the first thing I noticed, Deck has stubble. See pick attached. Gotta put a pick up on the screen.

• 42:53Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes. So you do.

• 42:55Declan Donnelly?

  I do have quite a bit of stubble there.

• 42:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, and really long sideburns.

• 42:59Declan Donnelly?

  My question is, is this real or stuck on stubble? Or maybe one of those iron filing games where he's moved hair from his head and moved it to his chin? Um, it's real stubble, although I can let you into a secret. They are stick on sideburns. The fringe was real.

• 43:13Ant McPartlin?

  The nose is fake.

• 43:18Speaker 06

  So your average from all of those people is 5.58.

• 43:23Ant McPartlin?

  That's good.

• 43:24Speaker 06

  So if you can round that to a six.

• 43:26Ant McPartlin?

  Round it out to us, can we? 5.5.

• 43:29Speaker 06

  5.6.

• 43:30Declan Donnelly?

  Five and a half.

• 43:30Ant McPartlin?

  Five and a half, five and a half. Five and a half, five and a half. I'm, I'll take that all day long.

• 43:34Declan Donnelly?

  That's pretty good.

• 43:35Ant McPartlin?

  That's probably a better review than we got back in the day.

• 43:37Declan Donnelly?

  If you get round to watching it, let us know in the comments what banana rating you'd give it out of eight. And we'll, we'll add that to the list. We can't rate it, can we?

• 43:46Ant McPartlin?

  No. You can rate being in it. You rate watching it if you want.

• 43:50Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I had a lovely time making it.

• 43:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, so did I. So eight bananas for making it. But you can't all give that. The only people that can give that are the rest of the castmates.

• 43:59Declan Donnelly?

  My, um, most embarrassing moment of being at Alien Autopsy is, do you know the scene where we were in the hotel? And my character, Ray, was making love to the.

• 44:11Speaker 07

  One of my notes was Deck sex scene, dot, dot, dot, literally disturbed.

• 44:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I bet. It's, yeah, yeah, I can imagine that. That's, was that around about the time that you went on TikTok?

• 44:23Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, makes sense. Makes sense. A bit like what, hearing your parents at it in the next room, like.

• 44:28Declan Donnelly?

  Well, you don't see anything.

• 44:29Ant McPartlin?

  Turn the telly up.

• 44:29Declan Donnelly?

  You don't see anything. You just, you just hear it through the wall of, Anne's character is in the room next door and he hears it. If you think you disturbed watching it, how do you think I felt? Sat at the premiere next, next to my mother.

• 44:40Speaker 07

  No.

• 44:42Declan Donnelly?

  And you get to it and go, oh, I'd forgotten about this bit.

• 44:46Ant McPartlin?

  What did she do?

• 44:47Declan Donnelly?

  Well, she just like, it's a bit like being at home and there's a sex scene and you watch it with your parents and you both just stare at the telly. Going, I hope this is over soon. I hope this ends soon.

• 44:56Ant McPartlin?

  What was it like filming that bit?

• 44:57Declan Donnelly?

  Well, really weird because it wasn't a scene.

• 45:00Ant McPartlin?

  No, I know. I'm asking the question, but I won't be able to explain it.

• 45:02Declan Donnelly?

  So there's, so obviously it's not a scene. It's just me and the actress in a room with a sound guy and a microphone. And you look at each other and you go, eh. And she's doing it and I'm doing it at the same time. And then you're obviously trying to coordinate and synchronize.

• 45:18Ant McPartlin?

  Director has given you notes, what kind of notes would he say? Like more passion?

• 45:22Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah. And then you go, and now intensifies a bit. So, yeah, so there was four of us, actually. There was the sound guy with a microphone and the director. And he goes, now intensify it a little bit.

• 45:34Ant McPartlin?

  And now finish.

• 45:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 45:38Ant McPartlin?

  It's awkward, isn't it? It's awkward. Imagine doing a proper sex scene in a movie, like naked and all that.

• 45:44Declan Donnelly?

  And with an actress, I didn't.

• 45:45Ant McPartlin?

  So mechanical.

• 45:46Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't really know her either. Like, we'd worked together for two days or something. And it was midway through the second day. It's like, right, we need to go now and do the, uh, the wild track of the, um, of the, the scene. So, oh my God, I'm just sort of looking forward to this. It was very awkward.

• 46:02Ant McPartlin?

  Is it time for the map?

• 46:03Declan Donnelly?

  Do you want to have a look at the map?

• 46:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'd like to have a look at your map.

• 46:05Declan Donnelly?

  Hold yours.

• 46:06Ant McPartlin?

  A world map, please, not the UK. Yeah, I'd like to, I'd like to go overseas. There you go. Does that help?

• 46:12Declan Donnelly?

  Here we go. Here's today's map. Got some new flags in there, the yellow flags, some new places that people are listening. We have listeners in Karen, Australia.

• 46:23Ant McPartlin?

  Karen?

• 46:24Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, no, sorry. Karen is in Australia and she's listening in Southport.

• 46:28Ant McPartlin?

  Southport, Australia.

• 46:29Declan Donnelly?

  Southport, Australia.

• 46:29Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Karen, ever been?

• 46:31Declan Donnelly?

  Never been. Ever been?

• 46:32Ant McPartlin?

  Never been. Like to go?

• 46:34Declan Donnelly?

  Love to go.

• 46:34Ant McPartlin?

  Love to go.

• 46:35Declan Donnelly?

  Where's Southport? That's Sydney, that's Brizzy, Perth.

• 46:40Speaker 06

  Just by Surfers Paradise.

• 46:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, so.

• 46:42Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 46:43Ant McPartlin?

  Southport, we have been to Southport.

• 46:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, we have been to Southport. Ever been?

• 46:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, ever been?

• 46:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, loved it.

• 46:51Declan Donnelly?

  Becky is listening in Sydney, Australia.

• 46:54Ant McPartlin?

  Ever been?

• 46:55Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been? Yes, yes. Love it. I love Sydney.

• 46:59Ant McPartlin?

  I love Sydney too. I could live in Sydney.

• 47:00Declan Donnelly?

  I could live in Sydney.

• 47:01Ant McPartlin?

  I said that first.

• 47:02Declan Donnelly?

  And I don't say that about many places.

• 47:03Ant McPartlin?

  No, he doesn't.

• 47:05Declan Donnelly?

  I love Sydney.

• 47:06Ant McPartlin?

  Same.

• 47:08Declan Donnelly?

  Dana is listening in Brisbane, Australia. Ever been?

• 47:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 47:12Declan Donnelly?

  Do you like it?

• 47:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I could, I could live in Brisbane. Ever been?

• 47:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 47:17Ant McPartlin?

  We went to see Coldplay in Brisbane at the arena there, at the stadium there. And we were doing I'm a Celebrity.

• 47:23Declan Donnelly?

  We were doing I'm a Celeb, yeah.

• 47:25Ant McPartlin?

  Chris Martin got in touch and said, would we, would we like to go and see them because they're down in Australia?

• 47:30Declan Donnelly?

  Do you wanna, do you wanna shout at him now? That he was really nice, Dan. Would you like to shout at Chris Martin as well?

• 47:34Ant McPartlin?

  I love Chris Martin. And I also love Jamie Melville. I've got no problem with Jamie Melville. You know this. Jamie knows this. Chris knows this. I don't have beef with no man. Other than you, right now. Anyway, they reached out and said, would we like to go and see them? So we said, yes. So we, we worked out the timings. And it's a couple of hours drive from where we stay in Australia. And we thought, oh, we've got, we've got the show.

• 47:57Declan Donnelly?

  That was the problem. We had the show the next day live on, on I'm a Celeb. And as you know, it's very early in the morning.

• 48:02Ant McPartlin?

  Three o'clock in the morning. We've got to get there. So we thought.

• 48:05Declan Donnelly?

  Three o'clock in the morning, by the way.

• 48:06Ant McPartlin?

  So we thought, we know what to do. Let's just go anyway.

• 48:08Declan Donnelly?

  Go anyway.

• 48:09Ant McPartlin?

  And let's not tell them. So not tell anybody I'm a Celebrity. So we went to watch Coldplay. And as we were watching Coldplay, Chris came to see us beforehand, didn't he? He was very nice.

• 48:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 48:19Ant McPartlin?

  And he was doing the gig and halfway through the gig, he started a song, but changed the lyrics to Let's Get Ready to Rumble. Cool, eh? That's so cool. That's really cool. I love, I love.

• 48:31Declan Donnelly?

  Really nice.

• 48:32Ant McPartlin?

  So we finished the gig, drove all the way back from Brisbane.

• 48:35Declan Donnelly?

  About two hours.

• 48:36Ant McPartlin?

  Down to where we did the show and slept in our dressing room. Our little trailers. And then went straight into the script meeting and they never knew a thing about it.

• 48:44Declan Donnelly?

  Bleary eyed.

• 48:45Ant McPartlin?

  Muahahaha. Did we shower?

• 48:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we've got showers.

• 48:48Ant McPartlin?

  What's going to do you? Shower if I want?

• 48:54Ant McPartlin?

  Do you shower every day?

• 48:55Declan Donnelly?

  It's a weird thing to get fixated on, Jamie Melville.

• 48:57Ant McPartlin?

  Do you shower? What's a shower?

• 49:02Declan Donnelly?

  Learning lots about you today. Kerry, spelt C E R I.

• 49:09Ant McPartlin?

  C E.

• 49:09Declan Donnelly?

  Cherry? Kerry or cherry?

• 49:12Ant McPartlin?

  Cherry, Siri.

• 49:13Declan Donnelly?

  Kerry.

• 49:14Ant McPartlin?

  Kerry.

• 49:14Declan Donnelly?

  Cherry, Kerry?

• 49:15Speaker 06

  Kerry, I think it's Welsh.

• 49:17Ant McPartlin?

  Welsh.

• 49:19Declan Donnelly?

  Well, she's in Queensland, Australia, which is also there. Our flag's doing a lot of heavy lifting today, one flag for three or four.

• 49:26Ant McPartlin?

  Ever been?

• 49:27Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 49:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yes!

• 49:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I'd be too.

• 49:31Speaker 06

  Didn't you see Coldplay there?

• 49:32Declan Donnelly?

  Didn't see Coldplay in Queensland, yeah.

• 49:34Ant McPartlin?

  Coldplay, Queensland, yeah.

• 49:36Declan Donnelly?

  Weren't you listening, we've just told the story? Did you switch off?

• 49:40Ant McPartlin?

  And I showered.

• 49:44Declan Donnelly?

  Kevin is listening in Western Australia, over there, somewhere over that side. That's the west of Australia.

• 49:51Ant McPartlin?

  Must be that one there, is it?

• 49:53Declan Donnelly?

  Could well be.

• 49:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Western Australia.

• 49:55Declan Donnelly?

  Could well be. Laura is listening in Perth in Australia. Ever been?

• 50:00Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 50:01Declan Donnelly?

  No, I've never been on that one.

• 50:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Declan Donnelly?

  You can get that direct flight nowadays, can't you, from London, straight to Perth? Eighteen hours on the flight.

• 50:08Ant McPartlin?

  Could you do that?

• 50:08Declan Donnelly?

  No, I could not.

• 50:09Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 50:10Declan Donnelly?

  Because I like to get off and stretch my legs.

• 50:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, same here.

• 50:12Declan Donnelly?

  I don't like to be hunched up for all that time on an all-crew. And can you guess where the next location is?

• 50:20Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, Cairns.

• 50:22Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 50:22Ant McPartlin?

  Northern Australia.

• 50:23Declan Donnelly?

  Mongolia.

• 50:24Ant McPartlin?

  Have we done Northern Australia now?

• 50:26Declan Donnelly?

  Bert.

• 50:27Ant McPartlin?

  What, where? There's no other flags.

• 50:29Declan Donnelly?

  Bert is listening in Mongolia.

• 50:30Ant McPartlin?

  Bert!

• 50:31Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, Bert.

• 50:32Ant McPartlin?

  I'd like to go to Mongolia.

• 50:33Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 50:34Ant McPartlin?

  No, I'd love to go. Bert, can I come and stay at yours? Fresh eats, uh, big shop, uh, en suite bathroom and wifi.

• 50:43Declan Donnelly?

  Mongolia, up there on the map?

• 50:44Ant McPartlin?

  Yep.

• 50:45Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely job.

• 50:46Ant McPartlin?

  Is that it?

• 50:46Declan Donnelly?

  That's all today's.

• 50:47Ant McPartlin?

  Australia and Mongolia.

• 50:48Declan Donnelly?

  That's all today's new listeners from around the world.

• 50:50Ant McPartlin?

  No European listeners?

• 50:52Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 50:52Ant McPartlin?

  No South, South American, no North American.

• 50:56Declan Donnelly?

  Come on, guys, pull your finger out in those continents.

• 50:59Ant McPartlin?

  Start listening and watching.

• 51:03Declan Donnelly?

  Do you want to have a look in this week's postbag?

• 51:05Ant McPartlin?

  Always.

• 51:05Declan Donnelly?

  And see what we've been getting.

• 51:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please. We love your correspondence. Here it is. Let's get some letter suits.

• 51:13Declan Donnelly?

  Dig in.

• 51:14Ant McPartlin?

  There you are. Right, I'll kick off.

• 51:16Declan Donnelly?

  Go on then.

• 51:17Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's a short one. Hi, I got busy with a plane ship. Made myself a show merchandise, all hand-stitched. Respect, guys, from Kelly Cavanagh.

• 51:25Declan Donnelly?

  There it is on the screen, if you're just listening. We've got a nice Hanging Out with Ant and Dec t-shirt.

• 51:30Ant McPartlin?

  Ant and Dec and bananas with no features. It's a bit like my painting. I'm not very good at features or skin tone.

• 51:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 51:39Ant McPartlin?

  On portraits.

• 51:40Declan Donnelly?

  I quite like that.

• 51:41Ant McPartlin?

  You like that?

• 51:41Declan Donnelly?

  I do like that.

• 51:42Ant McPartlin?

  She should go busy with that. We didn't ask her to do it.

• 51:44Declan Donnelly?

  We didn't.

• 51:45Ant McPartlin?

  We didn't ask her, so she's just done it herself.

• 51:47Declan Donnelly?

  Well done, Kelly.

• 51:47Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Kelly, thank you for that.

• 51:48Declan Donnelly?

  And because you've sent that in to us, we now own the copyright to that design.

• 51:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, so that's ours. Busy fingers over there can reproduce them and we'll be quids in.

• 51:58Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you for that. I've got one here from Aaron. Says, hi, guys, my name's Aaron.

• 52:03Ant McPartlin?

  He's made a jumper, surely. Aaron's made an Aaron jumper.

• 52:07Declan Donnelly?

  He hasn't, unfortunately.

• 52:08Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, that's a shame.

• 52:09Declan Donnelly?

  Although he does go on better. Says, my name is Aaron and me and my family are loving the podcast. Thought I'd share that Kelly's telly has nothing on mine.

• 52:18Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes, please, share your telly, Aaron.

• 52:20Declan Donnelly?

  It is an outrageous 120 inches. My TV has taken over the living room.

• 52:27Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, my God.

• 52:27Declan Donnelly?

  That's him stood next to the TV.

• 52:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, it took me a little while to work it out. If I'm honest, I thought he was on the TV. I thought, how did he get in our studio?

• 52:38Declan Donnelly?

  That is a massive TV and Aaron is stood right next to the TV. He says, as you can see, I also watch the podcast like Aunt Sister Dave.

• 52:47Declan Donnelly?

  Look at that.

• 52:48Ant McPartlin?

  That's great. So, Aaron, you are the current leader on the leaderboard of massive tellies. If you can beat Aaron's telly, get in touch with us. Hang on at beltabox.com and send us a picture of your telly. Sorry, Kelly, you're in second place. I've never really seen the angle of the back of my head like that before. It's a short haircut, isn't it? Isn't it?

• 53:10Declan Donnelly?

  Quite severe.

• 53:11Ant McPartlin?

  It's very severe, yeah.

• 53:12Declan Donnelly?

  Do you like it or are you gonna grow it out?

• 53:14Ant McPartlin?

  It's a bit longer now.

• 53:16Declan Donnelly?

  Would you go mullet?

• 53:17Ant McPartlin?

  No, I would not go mullet, thank you very much. No way.

• 53:20Declan Donnelly?

  Why not?

• 53:21Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not that kind of man.

• 53:24Declan Donnelly?

  Well, there you have it.

• 53:26Ant McPartlin?

  There you have it.

• 53:27Declan Donnelly?

  You heard me here first.

• 53:28Ant McPartlin?

  I've got on here that says, hi lads.

• 53:30Declan Donnelly?

  Hiya.

• 53:31Ant McPartlin?

  Love of the podcast, my lovely sister, Julia Rowe, ni or doubt, turned 50 on the 6th of April and was at school with Deck in his early days. Well, I'd hope so. So I thought I'd attach a couple of pics of them in their formative years. Do you know who she is?

• 53:49Declan Donnelly?

  I do.

• 53:50Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, here, see, Julia was the Cinderella when Deck and a different Anthony were the Ugly Sisters. Tara Tulip sent them in. Let's have a look. Ah, it's you. That's you.

• 54:01Declan Donnelly?

  That's me on the left. So if you're just watching this on screen, Julia is in the middle. She is Cinderella.

• 54:07Ant McPartlin?

  She's the one with the severe, uh, ball cut.

• 54:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 54:10Ant McPartlin?

  It is though, isn't it? Uh, she's got a haircut that her mother has done.

• 54:14Declan Donnelly?

  It's very 80s.

• 54:15Ant McPartlin?

  Very 80s, yeah.

• 54:15Declan Donnelly?

  Very on trend.

• 54:16Ant McPartlin?

  And who's that on the right?

• 54:17Declan Donnelly?

  That is.

• 54:18Ant McPartlin?

  The other Anthony. Who's Ant?

• 54:20Declan Donnelly?

  He used to be my friend at school.

• 54:21Ant McPartlin?

  You knew another Ant? What?

• 54:24Declan Donnelly?

  I did. I, I offered him the role first and he turned it down.

• 54:26Ant McPartlin?

  Did he? Right. And he's gone on to?

• 54:28Declan Donnelly?

  Bigger and better things.

• 54:30Ant McPartlin?

  Bigger and better things, yeah.

• 54:31Declan Donnelly?

  Um, and yeah, we played the Ugly Sisters and Julia was Cinder.

• 54:36Ant McPartlin?

  Look at you. You're going for it there, aren't you?

• 54:38Declan Donnelly?

  Well, look.

• 54:38Ant McPartlin?

  He loves it. He loves a bit of drag.

• 54:40Declan Donnelly?

  In for a penny.

• 54:40Ant McPartlin?

  He's done it before. He's got form. That's why he's so good at Saturday Night Takeaway.

• 54:44Declan Donnelly?

  I think I'm standing on her toe there as well.

• 54:46Ant McPartlin?

  Looks like it. And your earrings, are they Christmas decorations?

• 54:48Declan Donnelly?

  They are Christmas baubles.

• 54:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 54:50Declan Donnelly?

  Look at that.

• 54:50Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Ant. Original Ant. So he's, he's the original.

• 54:53Declan Donnelly?

  He's the original, Ant.

• 54:54Ant McPartlin?

  Wow.

• 54:54Declan Donnelly?

  Original and still the best.

• 54:57Declan Donnelly?

  One here says, hello, belterbox team.

• 55:00Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 55:01Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we?

• 55:02Ant McPartlin?

  Say hello back then. Hello. Hi. Thank you.

• 55:06Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we play a game with the boys? We know that a pet peeve for Ant is Deck talking over him. It winds him up. So Deck's challenge is to see how long he can over talk Ant before he works it out.

• 55:19Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I'm just used to it. So Dave, you've done it today?

• 55:22Declan Donnelly?

  Loads.

• 55:24Ant McPartlin?

  But I'm just used to it. So I didn't think that was a challenge, because I've been set a challenge.

• 55:29Declan Donnelly?

  Well, so I see. Ant's challenge is to mess with Dex's cherished map. You might want to make a new one, so you don't have to remember where they all go. But essentially move all the flags on the map to a new location.

• 55:40Ant McPartlin?

  I took them off.

• 55:41Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I thought you did, but I thought it was one of these three.

• 55:44Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, that's what I wanted you to think.

• 55:46Declan Donnelly?

  Now, your challenge, Team Beltar Box, is to wind them both up with complaints about the Jamie Oliver boxers.

• 55:51Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, you idiots!

• 55:53Declan Donnelly?

  And inform them that YouTube has had so many people complain about Ant's dislike to the boxers, they're considering suspending your channel, lest they make all the people happy, or something like that. So that's the apology, right? But shh, don't tell the boys. Thanks, Helen Lilly.

• 56:11Ant McPartlin?

  Well done.

• 56:11Declan Donnelly?

  So we all had a secret mission.

• 56:13Ant McPartlin?

  A little secret mission. Yeah, we told you separately and then tricked you. I thought it was just me. You thought it was just you. You knew everything. Yeah, well done. I like that, though. I like anything like that. That's very good.

• 56:24Declan Donnelly?

  That is very good.

• 56:25Ant McPartlin?

  Who's it from again?

• 56:26Declan Donnelly?

  That's from Helen Lilly.

• 56:26Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Helen Lilly.

• 56:28Declan Donnelly?

  Well done, Helen Lilly. Well done, Helen Lilly.

• 56:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay.

• 56:32Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you for all your letters. Keep them coming in and anything at all, any jingles for any parts of the show, keep them coming in.

• 56:39Ant McPartlin?

  Hang on, hang on, I'll go to the box.com. Hang on, I'll go to the box.com.

• 56:42Declan Donnelly?

  I really made your mind laugh there when you talked over me.

• 56:45Ant McPartlin?

  I'll talk over him more. That's all we've got time for. See you for the bonus episode on Monday, but today's been a very good day. Happy birthday, diary.

• 56:54Declan Donnelly?

  Happy birthday to our 32nd birthday. We'll be back on Monday with the bonus. Until then, respect, guys!

• 57:00Ant McPartlin?

  See you later!

• 57:01Declan Donnelly?

  See you Monday, lovely weekend.

• 57:02Ant McPartlin?

  Bye!

• 57:14Speaker 00

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?

• 57:17Speaker 00

  Uh, Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.

• 57:23Speaker 00

  Hey, let's get back to work, please. But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. Taylor Hanson? Nice.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  Try one.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.

• 57:44Speaker 03

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