Pretty Little Episode #58

Tig and Mae chat about beauty routines and how to stay single on a totally fresh Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:34Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:25Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Handsome. Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod. Pretty little episode.

• 1:50Mae Martin?

  Welcome to the handsome pod. This is one of your pretty little episodes with two of your pretty little hosts, me, myself, Mae Martin.

• 1:58Tig Notaro?

  And it's me, yeah, Tig Notaro, the other pretty little host. Boy, do we look pretty today, don't we?

• 2:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we do, actually, yeah.

• 2:08Mae Martin?

  I just went to the gym, uh, but I mainly went for the sauna.

• 2:12Tig Notaro?

  Now, do you work out with makeup on? Cause I know makeup is a big part of your life. Do you wear makeup in workouts and do you wear makeup in the sauna?

• 2:21Mae Martin?

  Thank you so much for asking.

• 2:22Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely. The, the fans want to know.

• 2:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, no, I don't, I don't wear makeup when I work out, um, or in the sauna. But I do, I did put it on to record today. Just, just a simple, a simple foundation, nothing crazy. Didn't do the boy brow, didn't do the lip taint.

• 2:38Tig Notaro?

  The imaginary, um,

• 2:40Mae Martin?

  Clear mascara.

• 2:41Tig Notaro?

  Clear mascara, yeah.

• 2:43Mae Martin?

  Invisible makeup, yeah.

• 2:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I just, I cleaned my face with soap and water, well, face wash and water and got right on, right on the mic.

• 2:52Mae Martin?

  Did you put moisturizer on after or no?

• 2:54Tig Notaro?

  Hmm, yeah. I, I wash with a face wash and then a moisturizer. I dry my hair. I put my glasses on.

• 3:04Mae Martin?

  The hair's looking good, too.

• 3:06Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 3:07Mae Martin?

  It's looking kind of tousled and, and punk. It's good. Yeah.

• 3:12Tig Notaro?

  Amazing.

• 3:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But I know you hydrate from the inside out and that's partly why I think you don't have to do a lot. There you go.

• 3:19Tig Notaro?

  There I am. I'm hydrating. I'm hydrating from the inside out.

• 3:22Mae Martin?

  Love that.

• 3:23Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Listen, it's no secret, especially when you see me in person, the aging process is going on. And, and it is, as they say, it's an honor to age. When my mother was dying, people commented, even when she was in a, in a coma, like, God, she has such great skin.

• 3:44Mae Martin?

  Wow, that's, oh, to have that be your legacy, I want that.

• 3:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm hoping I can skate by with a simple face wash and moisturizer.

• 3:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:55Tig Notaro?

  Pull off what my mother did. So.

• 3:57Mae Martin?

  Both of our mothers are very, I recently saw my parents in Toronto and my mom came out to an event and someone commented, oh, you look like May's sister.

• 4:07Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 4:07Mae Martin?

  We will be dining off that for weeks and months. Yeah. She really does. It's crazy. Yeah.

• 4:13Tig Notaro?

  That's incredible.

• 4:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah. She did tell me my suit looked like pajamas, but that's okay.

• 4:18Tig Notaro?

  And be fair, did they?

• 4:21Mae Martin?

  You know, isn't that the style?

• 4:22Tig Notaro?

  Or did it?

• 4:23Mae Martin?

  Isn't it these days, like, people are wearing these baggy, boxy suits? And I thought, I thought that would be me, but in the, I did look a little like a little boy in his dad's suit, but you know.

• 4:36Tig Notaro?

  That's still a good look.

• 4:37Mae Martin?

  That's a charming look. Yeah.

• 4:38Tig Notaro?

  Did you ever sneak in and put your dad's suit on? Or any of his clothes or?

• 4:43Mae Martin?

  No, I don't think I did. I just stole his cigarettes.

• 4:46Tig Notaro?

  Does he still smoke?

• 4:47Mae Martin?

  He doesn't, except sometimes I think maybe he, sometimes I'll go out for a cigarette and my mom will say, James, do you want to go have a cigarette with May? And it's like, being given the option means he goes, no, I'm good, but yeah. Yeah. But I'm never going to smoke again. I gotta quit.

• 5:04Tig Notaro?

  Wait, you're never going to smoke again?

• 5:06Mae Martin?

  Gotta quit smoking.

• 5:07Tig Notaro?

  Did you quit?

• 5:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I quit all through my twenties and then started in the pandemic and then I, I go periods where I don't smoke, but it's like.

• 5:15Tig Notaro?

  But are you not smoking right now?

• 5:17Mae Martin?

  No, I am. Yeah.

• 5:18Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 5:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I don't talk about it much on the pod because it's like, I, I really want to quit. And the more I talk about it, the more I don't quit, but.

• 5:26Tig Notaro?

  Hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Do you want to try my process? I know I've shared it.

• 5:30Mae Martin?

  What's yours? Just don't smoke or?

• 5:32Tig Notaro?

  No, I, I, I smoked, I inhaled Swisher Sweets cigars.

• 5:38Mae Martin?

  Oh, fuck. And that's what you were like, my body says no.

• 5:41Tig Notaro?

  Well, I inhaled Swisher Sweets. Did I not tell you this?

• 5:46Mae Martin?

  I, it rings a bell. Like, yeah.

• 5:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I, so I inhaled Swisher Sweets while.

• 5:53Tig Notaro?

  Drinking peach flavored beer.

• 5:55Mae Martin?

  Oh, Christ.

• 5:57Tig Notaro?

  And I made myself so to my stomach that lasted like I got, I got drunk on peach flavored beer while inhaling Swisher Sweets. And so I was hungover. I was throwing up. It was so disgusting.

• 6:15Mae Martin?

  And we'll do it on the pod. Like I'll, we'll record and I'll, I'll get some Swisher Sweets and some peach beer.

• 6:22Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, put it on the list.

• 6:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we'll watch me just ruin myself.

• 6:26Tig Notaro?

  I would love that. Not for you to be ruined, but.

• 6:30Mae Martin?

  To watch that process.

• 6:32Tig Notaro?

  I would. Yeah, I would. It was so disgusting. And, um, but I'm, I, I quit at 25 saying, I don't want to be 50, saying, I wish I had quit at 25.

• 6:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:43Tig Notaro?

  And that gross combo got me here.

• 6:46Mae Martin?

  My parents quit at around 40. And so I got, I got two years or a year and a half. But yeah. Tig, I got stuck in an elevator.

• 6:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh, May.

• 6:58Mae Martin?

  I know. And I thought of you. I got into this elevator in New York.

• 7:03Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 7:03Mae Martin?

  I was staying on the 45th floor.

• 7:06Tig Notaro?

  May Marie.

• 7:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And it was right, like the hotel's right next to Central Park and it's late at night and I get in the elevator right before the doors closed, this Russian like oligarch, like this really rich Russian guy gets in with his wife. They're obviously fighting. It's tense. And we go up to the 45th floor and the, we stop at 44, but, and the doors are closed, like there's like a gung gung and it stops. And so I'm like, huh huh. And I pressed the door open button. Nothing happens.

• 7:36Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 7:37Mae Martin?

  Few minutes go by, then I press again and the doors open an inch and then stop and we're between floors. And we're on in this old hotel and I go, huh huh, this is scary. And the Russian guy, no hesitation goes, actually it's not. And stops, starts pressing the buttons and somehow fixes it. And we, we go to the next floor, but.

• 7:57Tig Notaro?

  How did he fix it? I need to know this because.

• 8:00Mae Martin?

  He, he just jam, he, he went nuts on the buttons. He did everything you're not supposed to do. He just pressed like door closed and pressed 45 again, then pressed lobby then, but I love how he was like, actually it's not scary.

• 8:13Tig Notaro?

  Let me write this down.

• 8:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:14Tig Notaro?

  So it's 45, door closed. Did he also, did he also push the firefighter hat?

• 8:22Mae Martin?

  No, I've always wanted to push that.

• 8:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:25Mae Martin?

  Is that just alert firefighters right away?

• 8:27Tig Notaro?

  I guess. I don't know what it does, May, but I wish you had called me, even if I was asleep. That is a phone call, even if you were stuck for just, you know, 30 seconds.

• 8:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:40Tig Notaro?

  Tig, I don't know what to do. Were you scared or concerned?

• 8:44Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:44Tig Notaro?

  Like, like, like really scared? Or were you a little like, whoa, what's happening?

• 8:51Mae Martin?

  I thought, well, first I thought, okay, this is gonna be 10 minutes or something. Then I thought.

• 8:56Tig Notaro?

  And did that sound like a short amount, 10 minutes?

• 8:59Mae Martin?

  No, long, long.

• 9:00Tig Notaro?

  Okay, good, okay.

• 9:01Mae Martin?

  But then it was when I remembered how high up we were and that, like, if we just plummeted, what would happen? But there was something reassuring about this guy being like, no, this is not scary. And it felt like he'd killed a man, like, he'd seen a lot and this was nothing to him. But his wife was so mad at him, it was just a tense moment.

• 9:21Tig Notaro?

  Did she not come around and be, and feel like, oh, you're my hero? Like, did she not come through the anger?

• 9:27Mae Martin?

  She didn't speak a word through this whole process. And I felt like she was embarrassed of him when he said, it's not scary, because it clearly was.

• 9:34Tig Notaro?

  And how old was he?

• 9:36Mae Martin?

  Hmm, 40.

• 9:37Tig Notaro?

  Okay, yeah. I pictured him like.

• 9:40Mae Martin?

  White haired.

• 9:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 9:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:43Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 9:45Mae Martin?

  Anyway, it wasn't, you know, in the end, not much of a story, except actually, it's not scary.

• 9:49Tig Notaro?

  Well, it could have been quite a story. You know what? It is a story enough, because if I was in there, I would have been in a complete spiral.

• 9:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. Once it's happened to you once, like, and you being stuck in that bathroom, you're like, I know how this could go. And this could be my whole day.

• 10:05Tig Notaro?

  And, and what is the level of panic you felt from 1 to 10?

• 10:09Mae Martin?

  Uh, I started at like a six or a seven, like, I instantly went there. And then luckily, it quickly resolved, but I was getting ready to go up to a 10. I don't know what that would have looked like.

• 10:19Tig Notaro?

  That's what my next question was gonna be, is what is May at a 10 in a 45-story stuck elevator?

• 10:27Mae Martin?

  I think it would have been making some phone calls, calling the, you know, the Secretary of Defense or something. Like, I would have been like, let's go to the top with this and get this resolved.

• 10:37Tig Notaro?

  Do you really want to go to the Secretary of Defense in this administration?

• 10:41Mae Martin?

  No, no, I don't. They'd probably say it was a trans elevator.

• 10:47Tig Notaro?

  And to be fair, you know, a third of it was.

• 10:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're right. You're right. They'd be like, yeah, this checks out.

• 10:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's actually, you're right. It's a, it's one third trans elevator. Well, I'm glad you made it through safely.

• 10:59Mae Martin?

  Me too, because otherwise I wouldn't be here with you getting ready to listen to some questions.

• 11:03Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, that's a really great. Speaking of trans, should we transition into questions?

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  Famously, trans people are amazing at transitions. Yeah.

• 11:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. So let's do it.

• 11:14Mae Martin?

  Let's do it.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Hello. My name is Bea and I have two moms and one of them, the one that I actually call Mare, she really likes the handsome pod. And so she told me I had to listen to it. And so I've started listening to the handsome pod and I'm making my way through. And so my question for you is, what is something that your parents got you into? Thanks.

• 11:42Mae Martin?

  Imagine if that was Max or Finn calling.

• 11:46Tig Notaro?

  How amazing that her mother is called Mare.

• 11:50Mae Martin?

  That's so cool.

• 11:51Tig Notaro?

  I love that.

• 11:52Mae Martin?

  I know. And that Mare listens to the pod. That's so cool.

• 11:57Tig Notaro?

  Hello to Mare and all of the other Mares.

• 11:59Mae Martin?

  Yes, all the, all the two mom families. I have mine definitely. And it's, it's Funny Girl with Barbra Streisand. And I, I guess I was eight or nine or 10 and I was like, anytime my mom would suggest something, I would instinctively want to hate it or not watch it. Cause it was like a constant, like I was having to watch like Dead Man Walking and these like, you know, Easy Rider, these 1970s movies that she wanted to show me. And so I was like, Funny Girl, I don't know. And then when I finally watched it, I was like, oh my God, like this woman is, I mean, it blew my mind. I was so obsessed with Funny Girl.

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah. So that was satisfying for her. And then I would listen to like the vinyl of Barbra Streisand live in, in Central Park, I think it is. She does a show. I think she smoked a joint on stage. It was like

• 12:52Tig Notaro?

  Babs?

• 12:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, Babs rebellious period.

• 12:55Tig Notaro?

  So Babs was that for me. Stephanie and I went and saw Babs in recent years and didn't feel terribly rebellious. No, now very much. It's so like, it's, I mean, I don't know what it was back then, but it's definitely like a scripted performance. Like she really has, you know, A teleprompter. Yeah, she does. Like it's, but it was, it was so, so great. She, Stephanie posted a clip years ago after we went of, at the end of some song that Babs sang, she ends it with, "You bet your ass." Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So good.

• 13:38Tig Notaro?

  We just looked at each other and we were like, oh.

• 13:42Tig Notaro?

  Love that she scripted that too. Oh, my God. And, and it's like, now that I'm saying it, I should end my show. Like, Yes. After my closer, I should be like, "You bet your ass!" And then just walk off stage.

• 14:02Tig Notaro?

  That's great. My mother loved Barbra Streisand as well. Really? Oh, my God. The Guilty album. And when you said funny girl, I immediately thought of how obsessed with Gilda Radner my mother was. And we were just raised on Gilda. But I would say the thing that, when I say, because I naturally loved Gilda Radner, you know, like that wasn't like she got me into it. Yeah. Into her. But I would say what my mother got me into, that I wasn't necessarily into deeply as a small child, was Willie Nelson. Oh, nice. Yes. My mother.

• 14:46Tig Notaro?

  And my father's mother loved and lived by Willie Nelson.

• 14:52Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 14:53Tig Notaro?

  I mean, Willie, Willie, Willie.

• 14:56Mae Martin?

  Really? And yeah, Willie doesn't feel like that he would naturally attract like a child audience. Like you'd have to be introduced to him.

• 15:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, my brother and I would go on road trips, you know, they were big in our mind when we were little to go from like the this one town where our family lived to another town that was like two or three hours away. And we'd go on a road trip and we'd listen to On the Road Again, you know, and just sing along. And that was fun. But like to really get into the songs and the albums. And I remember when I was in fourth grade, my mother got me Willie Nelson's Red Headed Stranger album. And I was like, I don't want this. And she was like, All right, well, then I'll keep it. But, um, but yeah, I would say Willie Nelson.

• 15:48Mae Martin?

  That's like, grade four is around the age where like, let's say there's like a school presentation where you have to do like a lip sync and kids are not trying to be cool yet. So they're coming in with these weird things that their parents got them into. Like, yeah, I think I did a lip sync to Hair, that the musical, like one of the and it was just so purely just that my parents had got me into it. Or like, I can imagine you talking about Willie Nelson at school and.

• 16:13Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Yeah, for sure.

• 16:15Mae Martin?

  All right. Well, I want to hear B's answer.

• 16:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:18Mae Martin?

  What did Mare teach B?

• 16:20Speaker 04

  Uh, to answer my own question, aside from the handsome pod, and if I'm staying on the theme of queer media, it would probably be Alison Bechdel. Thanks.

• 16:31Mae Martin?

  Alison Bechdel. Is that like the Bechdel test?

• 16:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And she is the, um, she did Fun Home and then also she wrote the, um, Dykes to Look Out For.

• 16:44Mae Martin?

  Love that. When was that?

• 16:46Tig Notaro?

  I first came across it in like the early 90s. Um, Thomas, can you tell me? Oh, yeah. Thomas is sending us these notes too, that are correct. Fun Home and Dykes to Watch Out For. Um, she's amazing. Did you see Fun Home?

• 17:01Mae Martin?

  No. Is, what is a movie?

• 17:04Tig Notaro?

  It is the most gorgeous, perfect play.

• 17:10Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 17:10Tig Notaro?

  And musical that has ever existed.

• 17:14Mae Martin?

  What?

• 17:14Tig Notaro?

  Yes, and it is about Allison's life.

• 17:18Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 17:18Tig Notaro?

  I feel like I've referenced it on here.

• 17:21Mae Martin?

  Stikes to watch out for, is that just a list?

• 17:24Tig Notaro?

  It's, well, it's a comic strip.

• 17:27Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 17:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:29Mae Martin?

  Oh, nice.

• 17:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:30Mae Martin?

  I'll check that out. Well, good job to be's mayor.

• 17:34Tig Notaro?

  Yes, excellent stuff to be introduced to, especially handsome.

• 17:40Mae Martin?

  Max and Finn are probably introducing you to stuff that like you didn't know you were going to be into baseball and, you know, magic cards and stuff.

• 17:46Tig Notaro?

  I didn't know I was going to be into Kendrick Lamar.

• 17:51Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, Kendrick Lamar, yeah.

• 17:52Tig Notaro?

  Or Eminem. I mean, like, I, we, that's, and Blink 182.

• 17:56Mae Martin?

  Mmm, god, they're good.

• 17:58Tig Notaro?

  I never paid much attention to Blink 182.

• 18:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:02Tig Notaro?

  And now, every morning.

• 18:05Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 18:05Tig Notaro?

  The, oh, between Kendrick, Eminem, and Blink 182, that's what we pick up and drop Max and Finn off to.

• 18:13Mae Martin?

  That's so funny.

• 18:15Tig Notaro?

  We pull up to those tunes pumping out of our window.

• 18:19Mae Martin?

  Have you heard the song "Miss You" by Blink 182? Because you got Mark Hoppus, who sings kind of like a normal, a normal man. And then whenever it's Tom, what's his name, Tom DeLonge's verse, he comes in and on that song, it's such a beautiful song. And then he comes in and goes, "Where are you, the angel from my nightmare? I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight." That's great.

• 18:41Tig Notaro?

  That's really good, man. Yeah, yeah, that's in our rotation as well.

• 18:46Mae Martin?

  Love it. Should we hear another question?

• 18:48Tig Notaro?

  Yes, we should. That's why we're here.

• 18:50Speaker 05

  Hey, Handsoms, this is Angela from Columbus, Ohio. I need some advice. I am recently single out of a seven-year relationship. And I am really needing to stay single for a while to work on myself and figure out more about who I am and what I want in the future. So what are some things that have helped you in the past stay motivated to get through a time where you just needed to spend more time with yourself?

• 19:28Speaker 05

  Thank you. Love you.

• 19:30Mae Martin?

  Great question.

• 19:31Tig Notaro?

  What has kept me motivated? What has kept us motivated to?

• 19:37Mae Martin?

  Like reconnect with yourself. It sounds like maybe she's aware in herself of a tendency to

• 19:45Mae Martin?

  get into another relationship or feel like, um, like defined by being in a relationship and wants to build a, I mean, look, she's speaking my language. I am really, I relate. Um, you gotta go to the woods. You gotta get your life coach.

• 20:01Tig Notaro?

  Synthesizer.

• 20:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  Gotta get your synthesizer.

• 20:05Mae Martin?

  Get your clear mascara and get out to the woods. No, I think like reading and, and talking to friends, find your single friends and go on little friend vacations. And it is just willpower, isn't it?

• 20:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And I guess like, if you really picture yourself older down the road,

• 20:28Tig Notaro?

  not making those changes and not making the shifts that you need to make to attract. You have to be a completely different person. You have to make those deep changes and everything you have been doing that isn't working.

• 20:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:49Tig Notaro?

  Has to change.

• 20:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:51Tig Notaro?

  For the change that you want to see. And it's the changes that you're doing privately and quietly. That you're not promoting or posting or blabbing about. It's just like really deep, quiet changes, like where you're really challenging yourself. You're, you're not racing, challenging, competing, anybody other than yourself of like, I gotta make this shift.

• 21:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:23Tig Notaro?

  And you have to track your shift and make sure you're still staying on course because it's not fun.

• 21:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:31Tig Notaro?

  It's, it's uncomfortable.

• 21:33Mae Martin?

  And so often we like, when we do take care of ourselves, it's, it's either for someone else or like you got like, I was feeling.

• 21:43Mae Martin?

  Sad a few weeks ago and kind of rocked. And then I was like, fuck, I got a, I got a week of press coming up, so I've got to sleep, I've got to eat. I just don't have time to fall apart. And so I really did good. And I like, I went to the gym and I was sleeping and then it's like, but I shouldn't need that week on the horizon to motivate that. Like I, I should be able to care for myself, like care for myself the way I would for someone else and like feel worth that care, you know?

• 22:11Tig Notaro?

  I also think it's really, it's such a bumper sticker, but it's true of like, take your own advice.

• 22:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Tig Notaro?

  It's really good to take your own advice. It helps me.

• 22:22Mae Martin?

  You mean like, the way you would talk to a friend, talk to your, yeah, yeah.

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Like, should I call that person? Should I, it's like, no, no, absolutely not. Or should I move on from this business venture that is proving to be difficult, or doesn't bring me joy, or doesn't really celebrate the arts, or, you know, like where my insides are, are telling me, this doesn't, this, this isn't the road that leads to happiness, like true joy. And then you rip the Band-Aid off. And it's, but then there's freedom there. And when you're going in a whole new direction.

• 23:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:07Tig Notaro?

  Because you've, you've been down that path. You've already gone, you know what's down that road. It's an old road you know so well. And it has not ever, time and time again, led to anything.

• 23:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And also don't beat yourself up if you have little relapses, or you, you, you know, like, you also have to, you just got out of a seven year relationship, but you, you will have to grieve that. And it's okay to be a mess for a little while and just rely on your, like, you don't have to instantly be like, okay, action and self-care and I'm gonna like, you know, that stuff will come. It sounds like she knows exactly what she wants.

• 23:45Tig Notaro?

  And I also want to just throw in. It also can make you feel so good if you help out other people.

• 23:53Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 23:54Tig Notaro?

  Whether it's delivering food to homeless people, or whether it's visiting animal shelters.

• 24:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:04Tig Notaro?

  Whatever it is, that is really, really healing.

• 24:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:10Tig Notaro?

  And gives you a much bigger picture on life.

• 24:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Angela didn't send an answer, but good luck, Angela.

• 24:18Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 24:18Mae Martin?

  We're thinking about you.

• 24:19Tig Notaro?

  Yes, we are.

• 24:20Mae Martin?

  Or we were for this period of time.

• 24:24Tig Notaro?

  And, and we do really love hearing, I mean, it's such a joy to do the questions of our listeners. I mean, it's a joy to do our, our regular episodes, but I just, I'm always so curious what our listeners have to say.

• 24:41Mae Martin?

  Me too.

• 24:42Tig Notaro?

  If you want to, please submit questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com/hansampod.

• 24:49Mae Martin?

  Please.

• 24:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Mae Martin?

  And in the meantime.

• 24:55Tig Notaro?

  Keep it.

• 24:57Mae Martin?

  Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.