Pretty Little Episode #82

Mae and Fortune put together a comedy roast roster and indulge in some conspiratorial thinking on a Pretty Little Episode that will have you saying "the Handsome is out there"! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA https://www.ticketmaster.com/netflix-is-a-joke-presents-handsome-los-angeles-california-05-04-2026/event/0900642CE31BB7C3! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:15Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm your pretty little host, Fortune Feimster.

• 0:23Mae Martin?

  I'm your pretty little host, Mae Martin.

• 0:25Fortune Feimster?

  Hello.

• 0:26Mae Martin?

  Feeling pretty and handsome.

• 0:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 0:29Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 0:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It's good to see you.

• 0:33Mae Martin?

  Lovely to see you, as always.

• 0:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 0:36Mae Martin?

  Um, what have you been doing? What have you got there? You putting on a?

• 0:39Fortune Feimster?

  I'm putting on a little shirt because I was getting a little chilly in here. Oh, you gotta stay warm. I just got back from Indianapolis, Cincinnati, and Milwaukee, where it was, um, one degree in Milwa- uh, well, Milwaukee was six degrees and then I drove back to Chicago to fly to there and it was one degree.

• 1:01Mae Martin?

  One degree.

• 1:02Fortune Feimster?

  And that is just not okay.

• 1:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's not you. It's not very you.

• 1:08Fortune Feimster?

  It's not me.

• 1:09Mae Martin?

  It's not you.

• 1:10Fortune Feimster?

  I'm, I'm beachy.

• 1:11Mae Martin?

  It's character building, though. I was just, uh, the other day I was thinking like, like, because I was talking to a friend of mine who grew up on the East Coast and we were talking about in the winter, how you had to wear your winter boots to school and then change into your school shoes and you'd have like salt stains on your pants from the salt and, and just the feeling of like burning in your throat from the cold. And we were like, some people in LA have never brought their school shoes to school and it shows.

• 1:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, they have no idea about weather. I mean, I grew up in North Carolina where it's fairly tame, but the most I would have to do is like turn the car on in the morning to let it warm up and some of the ice melt off of the windshield. But it was not crazy.

• 1:57Mae Martin?

  No, that counts. Yeah.

• 1:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but that was like, you know, compared to like a Chicago or a Northeast area, it ain't nothing. Um, but it was, you know, I, I had a taste of weather, but those climates in the, in the winter are gnarly. I mean, everyone was so lovely at the shows and probably they were just so happy to be warm.

• 2:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:22Mae Martin?

  But man.

• 2:23Fortune Feimster?

  And it started snowing quite a bit, um, while I was driving from, uh, after the show in Milwaukee, I drove to Chicago and that, it's a little scary driving in that stuff.

• 2:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I have not had to do that. I've driven in the rain. It was scary enough.

• 2:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:40Fortune Feimster?

  You'll have to build your way up to that.

• 2:42Mae Martin?

  Did you ever, did you go like sledding as a kid though?

• 2:45Fortune Feimster?

  Um, if there was enough snow, but a lot of our snow would, wouldn't stick or if it like once every couple of years, we'd have a, you know, several inches and then we would.

• 2:56Mae Martin?

  Cause we would do a lot of sledding and I, I was thinking about the, there's always a moment, you're a kid like flying down, there's a moment where you think I've lost control, like this, you're, this is a brush with death. And then when you get to the end and there's like a flat part and you, you've picked up all the speed and you go, you've slide and slide and slide. And then there's like that long walk back and you're by yourself. Then you're like, your parents are little people on top of the hill.

• 3:22Fortune Feimster?

  Dragging your sled behind you.

• 3:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And this like, you're like Sisyphus and it's like, it teaches you about reward and delayed gratification and to go from the, the bliss to then that slog up the hill. It's, I think it's crucial.

• 3:36Fortune Feimster?

  Well, cause Toronto gets super, super cold, right? In the winter?

• 3:39Mae Martin?

  Nasty cold. Yeah.

• 3:41Fortune Feimster?

  Nasty. So has it made you anti-cold? Are you?

• 3:46Mae Martin?

  No, I respect the cold and I think it has a lot to teach us.

• 3:51Fortune Feimster?

  Respect the cold.

• 3:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I like, I'm into it. I mean, I'm so deeply grateful not to live in it though.

• 3:58Fortune Feimster?

  Listen, I don't want to live in it, but put me in a, you know, cute cottage with snow around and a, and a sexy fireplace. Yeah.

• 4:07Mae Martin?

  One of my toxic traits is that I, at night, if I have like a date sleeping over or a girlfriend, I like to crank the AC, get it real cold in the house. And then they gotta cuddle me.

• 4:18Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 4:19Mae Martin?

  Isn't that kind of psychotic and manipulative?

• 4:23Fortune Feimster?

  They're like, they're like.

• 4:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and I go, they're there.

• 4:27Fortune Feimster?

  They're there. I got you. That is hilarious. One of my toxic traits.

• 4:33Mae Martin?

  It feels.

• 4:34Fortune Feimster?

  Honestly, that has never even occurred to me to crank the air conditioning.

• 4:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's gotta be cold. Well, there's nothing worse than it being too hot and you got someone in your bed.

• 4:44Fortune Feimster?

  Well, see, I have a, I haven't thought about the AC, but I have a, I love a fireplace.

• 4:50Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:50Fortune Feimster?

  So even, even in LA where it's not that cold, I will crank open, crank up a fireplace.

• 4:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you have to.

• 4:59Fortune Feimster?

  I like the ambiance, you know?

• 5:01Mae Martin?

  Well, it does something to your brain. They've, they've studied that, like even staring at a candle flame, your brain goes into like alpha relaxation mode. It, it's regulating. So staring at flames. Yeah, you look at the fire, you think about your, your Neanderthal ancestors that would have looked into a fire.

• 5:21Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I, I am soothed by water and I'm soothed by fireplace or candles.

• 5:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm scared of big, rolling deep water, though. Big ocean. No, not for me.

• 5:36Fortune Feimster?

  I don't want to go swimming in the ocean, only because everybody keeps getting eaten by sharks lately.

• 5:41Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 5:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God, there's like shark attacks like every week, it seems.

• 5:46Mae Martin?

  It, here?

• 5:47Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, everywhere. Not, not here, but I mean, a lot of places.

• 5:52Mae Martin?

  Oh, God.

• 5:53Fortune Feimster?

  Florida, Australia, that woman in Santa Barbara that was just, like, she was with a bunch of people training.

• 6:00Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:01Fortune Feimster?

  Guy in Australia with a bunch of surfers, um, girls in Florida with their friends and in waist-deep water. I mean.

• 6:10Mae Martin?

  Waist-deep?

• 6:11Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:11Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:13Fortune Feimster?

  I think because the waters are getting warmer.

• 6:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, or they're, the sharks are organizing. There's some broader plan.

• 6:20Fortune Feimster?

  I don't need to be in the ocean. I can enjoy it from the beach.

• 6:24Mae Martin?

  You get in your tits-out tub and that's all you need. Yeah.

• 6:28Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 6:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:34Mae Martin?

  Well, should we hear some questions from our lovely listeners?

• 6:37Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Hello, Handsoms. This is Margaret, currently in California, a lady. Um, I was wondering if you could put together your own roast, where you picked the comedians who are going to roast you. And let's say, minimum three, maximum eight. Which comedians would you be picking to roast you?

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  Ooh, okay.

• 7:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's great.

• 7:07Fortune Feimster?

  First of all, I hate roasts.

• 7:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we're all scared of it. We've talked about this, that you and me especially, like, I just, I'd wanna go self-deprecating or compliment someone, like, I can't roast someone.

• 7:19Fortune Feimster?

  It's not my thing. I will watch them to see, you know, the jokes crafted, but, boy, do they make me uncomfortable.

• 7:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's hell. It's absolute hell.

• 7:30Fortune Feimster?

  Cause some people you feel fine for. You're like, oh, they're strong. I know they can take it. And then others, you're like, ooh, I know that. Punch them in their soul.

• 7:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you can see it on their face. And then I feel like a lot of people out in the world, they think comedy and they think roasts. Like, that's... So I'm glad that you don't like them, cause sometimes I've been like, am I even a real comic? Cause I hate roasts.

• 7:52Fortune Feimster?

  No, it's just, uh... It's a thing that certain people can do well. Nikki Glaser. She is an incredible roaster and, um, really blew up from that.

• 8:05Mae Martin?

  Yes, and they're smart jokes, too. And I think, like, if I was, okay, if I was planning my own roast, I'd wanna go with, like, friends who...

• 8:13Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. So it could ease, they would ease into it a little bit?

• 8:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and they'd be really well-observed things about, about me. It wouldn't just be like, oh, you're non-binary.

• 8:25Fortune Feimster?

  Maze Toxic Trade is pumping the air conditioning up just to get cuddles.

• 8:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. So I'd pick you and Tig, obviously. I would pick... Chelsea Peretti, probably.

• 8:40Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, she'd be good.

• 8:41Mae Martin?

  She'd be really good. She's

• 8:43Fortune Feimster?

  She's so dry and sarcastic.

• 8:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah, totally. And I feel like she's made fun of me before and I've loved it.

• 8:49Fortune Feimster?

  May, I was trying to do a Chelsea impression.

• 8:53Mae Martin?

  Oh, let's hear it.

• 8:54Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I can do it.

• 8:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's a tough one.

• 8:57Fortune Feimster?

  It's pretty crazy how you, it's not bad.

• 9:03Mae Martin?

  Is it?

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  If I had my eyes closed, I would, I would never guess who that was.

• 9:10Fortune Feimster?

  I knew that was her with four words.

• 9:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I mean, Sarah Silverman's great as well.

• 9:17Fortune Feimster?

  What about Sabrina?

• 9:19Mae Martin?

  Sabrina Jelis, yeah. Lisa Gilroy, Alana. I just picked my, my friends and I'm noticing there's not a lot of men on this list. Brett Goldstein is such a gentle, soft soul. Like he

• 9:31Fortune Feimster?

  Mavis.

• 9:33Mae Martin?

  Mavis.

• 9:34Fortune Feimster?

  I'm having a hard time saying anything bad about you.

• 9:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:39Fortune Feimster?

  I can't do Brett's accent. You do it.

• 9:42Mae Martin?

  It'd be like, come on, Mavis. Oh, Mavis is a lovely day then.

• 9:48Fortune Feimster?

  See, that's a, that's a good Brett impression.

• 9:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm doing a show with him soon. And, but we're, he doesn't, he's not a roaster. Yeah.

• 9:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:59Mae Martin?

  So I'm not picking any like strangers who are just gonna go with like the first thing they see. What about you?

• 10:07Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, boy. Let's see. I would have you in Tig as well, because we would be looking handsome and we'd probably have on a suit because we'd be on some sort of stage. And if people are gonna make fun of me, I at least want to be looking really sharp.

• 10:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're gonna look

• 10:22Fortune Feimster?

  I actually had a roast for my 30th birthday.

• 10:25Mae Martin?

  No.

• 10:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, in my backyard. And I honestly don't remember what a single person said about me, but I do remember having fun.

• 10:36Mae Martin?

  Okay, so it didn't cross over into

• 10:37Fortune Feimster?

  It didn't. No, I didn't. Um, I didn't have regrets about doing it. We pulled an old chair out into the yard and I sat on it. I was, I do remember what I was wearing. A pink button up with a black tie and jeans.

• 10:54Mae Martin?

  A pink shirt with a black tie. So roast for you or that's about the outfit. We're learning.

• 10:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I had to look sharp. And I don't know. Yeah, clearly, nobody said anything too hurtful because I feel like if someone really stings you, it stays with you forever.

• 11:10Mae Martin?

  Forever.

• 11:11Fortune Feimster?

  Forever. So I think I came out of that unscathed, but it was my birthday. So I think they were going easy on me.

• 11:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah. So who would you, were there any people that were at that roast that you'd have back?

• 11:22Fortune Feimster?

  That, I mean, those were a lot of, like Erin Foley, I think, did one. I like Erin Foley. I would have her do one as well. I mean, I would, I would have Nikki Glaser do something just because I want to see her joke writing and what she, what her observations are of me would be great.

• 11:40Mae Martin?

  What about Chelsea Handler?

• 11:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Chelsea Handler. I'd have her. She'd be funny. LeAnn Morgan would be funny.

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  Oh, I don't know who that is.

• 11:49Fortune Feimster?

  Fortune, you're so yummy. LeAnn is an older comic who has like really blown up. She's from Tennessee. And she's like, you're my darlin'.

• 12:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Which LeAnn is supposed to do a question for our pod and I keep forgetting to circle back. But she's very funny.

• 12:13Mae Martin?

  Margaret Cho would be good.

• 12:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Margaret Cho's good. I don't know if I'd have dudes doing it either.

• 12:20Mae Martin?

  Isn't that weird?

• 12:21Fortune Feimster?

  Women are more of a safe space.

• 12:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Maybe Nick Cole would be good.

• 12:26Fortune Feimster?

  Nikki would just rip us into asshole.

• 12:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, Nikki would just destroy us.

• 12:37Fortune Feimster?

  My friend Gillian Bell's not a stand-up, but she's very funny. So I would have her do something.

• 12:42Mae Martin?

  She's very funny. I would maybe have Lisa Kudrow.

• 12:46Fortune Feimster?

  You'd have Toni Collette and she could rip on my, we could do ours together. She could rip on my Australian accent.

• 12:52Mae Martin?

  Oh, let's do ours together. That feels so scary. Yeah. But I do.

• 12:56Fortune Feimster?

  I think karaoke at the end.

• 12:57Mae Martin?

  I do think Thomas should, um, should roast us. I think that would be cathartic.

• 13:03Fortune Feimster?

  And we have to wear fake mustaches while he's doing it.

• 13:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, so to hide the tears, to hide the trembling lip.

• 13:11Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's a fun question. I haven't ever thought about that before.

• 13:16Mae Martin?

  Like, my friend Matt, who lives with me, he, I think I said this on the pod, but when he made the observation that I walk like, when you see footage of Bigfoot caught by camera, just striding across through the forest, these like weird, long, gangly legs, he said, I walk like, like Bigfoot caught on camera. And so that's why you gotta have your friends roasting you, because they, they know, they notice things, you know?

• 13:40Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. Oh, I would want Karen Kilgariff as well.

• 13:45Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 13:46Fortune Feimster?

  Um, because, uh, everybody, uh, knows her these days from my favorite murder podcast, but Karen is one of the funniest stand-ups I've ever watched on stage. Um, so I would pay good money to see whatever she came up with.

• 14:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, definitely.

• 14:07Fortune Feimster?

  Roast away, Karen. And it would be hysteri- I would be, I would probably be crying laughing.

• 14:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Fortune Feimster?

  Because her observations would be so specific.

• 14:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Should we hear what Margaret says?

• 14:20Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:21Mae Martin?

  They'd have? I hope we're on the list.

• 14:23Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, Lunel would be really funny, too.

• 14:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Fortune Feimster?

  The comedian Lunel.

• 14:28Mae Martin?

  Meg Stalter would be funny. Yeah.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  My answer would be, um, the three of you, obviously. Um, thank you so much for, um, the podcast. It's been such a joy to have. Um, and I hope, uh, you all have a great 2026. Thanks.

• 14:48Mae Martin?

  Well, thanks, Margaret. You too.

• 14:50Fortune Feimster?

  We'll go easy on you.

• 14:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we'll go easy on you. Yeah.

• 14:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:54Mae Martin?

  All I can come up with is Princess Margaret or something, but I don't know. I'll, I'll work on it. I'm workshopping it.

• 15:02Fortune Feimster?

  All right, you workshop it.

• 15:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Who else we got?

• 15:06Speaker 00

  Hey, y'all. This is Melanie from Calgary, Canada.

• 15:09Mae Martin?

  Hey.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  I have a question for you. What is a conspiracy theory that you believe in?

• 15:16Mae Martin?

  Bonus points if you made it up yourself.

• 15:19Fortune Feimster?

  This is right up your alley.

• 15:21Mae Martin?

  There's too many.

• 15:22Fortune Feimster?

  I was like, I feel like you believe in quite a few.

• 15:26Mae Martin?

  There's too many, but, uh, okay. Well, I, I, I guess my big thing right now is the chambers underneath the pyramids, these giant chambers, which make me believe, uh,

• 15:40Mae Martin?

  maybe they're big, um, batteries, like energy charging stations, the pyramids. That you could, you could charge up your spaceship or something. There's one that I've heard that Garth Brooks is a serial killer and that one's pretty juicy. If you do a deep dive, I'm sure it's Garth, if you're listening, I don't think you're a serial killer. But they are, they look at women going missing in the towns that he's touring and

• 16:09Fortune Feimster?

  That's crazy.

• 16:10Mae Martin?

  There's a couple of weird, yeah, it, I mean, it's nuts, but it's fun to look into. Uh, the Titanic.

• 16:17Fortune Feimster?

  What is the conspiracy about the Titanic that they, uh, sunk it?

• 16:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, because like there were, because there were a lot of bank leaders on, on it or something like that. The other ones aren't that fun, like nine 11, but

• 16:34Fortune Feimster?

  A lot with that one. I mean, I, I'm more into the silly ones like Bigfoot and stuff.

• 16:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 16:42Fortune Feimster?

  Loch Ness monster.

• 16:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:45Fortune Feimster?

  Didn't see that.

• 16:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like, um, my brother's pretty into giant creatures and, and things like giant sloths or giant, or great huge squid and things like that. And it's called cryptozoology. That's what it is. Yeah. And it's like almost mythic creatures, but a lot of people think they're real.

• 17:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Fortune Feimster?

  There's that one about, um, John F. Kennedy and the umbrella guy.

• 17:13Mae Martin?

  What's that?

• 17:15Fortune Feimster?

  It's, you know, there's that video footage of the day and there's a mysterious figure that was holding like a, like a black umbrella and it was, they were on the route and they, some people think that the umbrella, that the opening of the umbrella was signaling to Oswald that the president was approaching. And then some people think that other people thought he had some kind of poison dart from it.

• 17:45Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 17:45Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 17:46Mae Martin?

  Why would he need the poison dart, you know?

• 17:49Fortune Feimster?

  That he, I don't, making, making him like an easier target, I guess. Like, I mean, he was like a sitting duck anyway. That, that theory to me does not hold water, but.

• 17:59Mae Martin?

  I just want to, before I die, just get a list of A, all the closeted actors. So I just know for myself and B, all the conspiracy theories and the, the truth. And, but this is how Trump like gained some traction by being like, guys, if I'm president, I'm going to tell you about aliens. I'm going to tell, I'm going to open up the JFK files. I'm going to, and instead he's just like.

• 18:20Fortune Feimster?

  Not any of that.

• 18:21Mae Martin?

  No. And he's like, but I won't release the Epstein files. Yeah, it's sketch.

• 18:26Fortune Feimster?

  Man.

• 18:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:27Fortune Feimster?

  Area 51, that's a whole thing, right?

• 18:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Area, I mean, I'll believe anything, basically. Nothing would shock me, you know?

• 18:35Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I think now when it comes to aliens, people, especially since the military spoke out that they're, that they exist, that there's less skepticism than there used to be.

• 18:46Mae Martin?

  It's becoming pretty mainstream.

• 18:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah. The, the Nazca mummies are an interesting one. If you want to give those a Google. They're like alien mummies or something. I don't know.

• 18:57Fortune Feimster?

  Well, but in gen, I would say in general, I personally am not a big conspiracy theory gal.

• 19:04Mae Martin?

  Is that because you just are like, I don't want to waste energy down a rabbit hole? Or are you like?

• 19:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It's more of like, when there's not an answer to something.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:14Fortune Feimster?

  I don't, I, I sometimes be like, oh, that's interesting. Like what could that have been? Not really spending a lot of time on it. I sort of take things for face value. Yeah.

• 19:26Mae Martin?

  Well.

• 19:26Fortune Feimster?

  And that's not always the right thing, but you know.

• 19:30Mae Martin?

  I'm the opposite, like, but to my detriment, for sure. And, and then the other day I realized, like, I have had like a low level anxiety since around puberty. Just like, what's the meaning of life? Why are we here? Is it a simulation? What happens after we die? Like, all those questions. And then I realized, I'm kind of, I'm feeling like urgency, like I'm gonna answer those questions. And I need to realize, like, the joy is in asking the questions. I'm not gonna get answers.

• 20:00Fortune Feimster?

  And. Yeah, I mean, some questions cannot be answered. We will not know.

• 20:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah. So I have to get rid of that low level, constant anxiety, which comes from this feeling like I haven't done my homework because I haven't figured out those questions yet.

• 20:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 20:14Mae Martin?

  But it's like.

• 20:15Fortune Feimster?

  I think I'm too chill to, like, pry any further.

• 20:19Mae Martin?

  You're like, it's not my business.

• 20:21Fortune Feimster?

  I have people tell me I need to ask more questions. And I go, oh, okay. Yeah. I guess I can dive more into that thing.

• 20:29Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 20:32Mae Martin?

  I, I'm gonna do a night, I saw someone did this and I'm organizing one at my house. It's a conspiracy theory night where we all wear tinfoil hats. And then everybody has to prepare a presentation on a conspiracy theory. And it could be the craziest one and you present them to each other.

• 20:50Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. That definitely seems like a May party.

• 20:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:54Fortune Feimster?

  Will you have snacks?

• 20:56Mae Martin?

  I'll have snacks, I'll have hot dogs.

• 20:58Fortune Feimster?

  One hot dog, two chips.

• 21:00Mae Martin?

  Between 12 people. Yeah. Everyone's like, can we just have a normal conversation?

• 21:05Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, well, if the party is planned for this purpose, your friends will come knowing this is the deal.

• 21:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:13Fortune Feimster?

  You should hear Melanie.

• 21:15Mae Martin?

  I just, real quick, one good one is that Stanley Kubrick filmed The Moon Landings. And that The Shining is him, is full of him confessing to that. And, and there's like hidden messages and clues and symbolism. There's a whole documentary on it.

• 21:33Fortune Feimster?

  Huh.

• 21:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Well, anyway, let's hear what Melanie has to say.

• 21:37Fortune Feimster?

  Some people, some, there are a lot of people who do believe the moon landing never happened.

• 21:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I don't know. I think it happened. We need some conspiracies out there about the handsome podcast. If anyone wants to start one, like that we're all AI or that.

• 21:50Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 21:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, let's hear Melanie.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  My conspiracy theory that I made up myself that I a hundred percent believe is that nobody actually likes beer. Everyone's just pretending. They don't want to admit that they don't like it and they're just kind of going along with drinking garbage water, but nobody actually likes it. And if you're gonna say, I do like beer, what I have to say is that just further proves my point.

• 22:20Speaker 00

  You don't actually like beer and you can just admit it. It's okay.

• 22:26Mae Martin?

  I mean, taking a quick poll here, because Fortune, you don't like beer?

• 22:30Fortune Feimster?

  I do not like it. I think it's an acquired taste.

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I don't really like it either. Thomas, do you actually like the taste?

• 22:37Speaker 04

  I do like beer.

• 22:38Mae Martin?

  Okay, alright. But you would say that?

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would say that.

• 22:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I think it's nasty, but.

• 22:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, to me, it's just, yeah, it has such a weird taste. And I know to some people, it's like the most refreshing drink ever.

• 22:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:54Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not, it's not for me, but I think people start drinking it in college and stuff because it's cheap.

• 22:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's cheap and you can, you can chug it. I like that theory though, Melanie. I mean, I definitely had to train myself to like the taste of coffee or when I was smoking, I would sort of, you hate it for a while and you have to force yourself. So I could see how that happens with beer. Well.

• 23:18Fortune Feimster?

  What a treat. More great questions.

• 23:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you can go to speakpipe.com/hansampod to submit your questions. And if you need advice about any situations in your life,

• 23:33Mae Martin?

  please keep sending them.

• 23:34Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. We're here to help you and to answer your questions.

• 23:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 23:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we appreciate all you guys, um, tuning in. Thank you for listening. I hope everybody's having a lovely, um, March. We're heading into spring.

• 23:59Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, finally.

• 24:02Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 24:02Mae Martin?

  Spring is here.

• 24:03Fortune Feimster?

  Spring is sprung and.

• 24:05Mae Martin?

  The grass is riz. I wonder where them birdies is.

• 24:08Fortune Feimster?

  And guess what? We get that hour back so it doesn't get dark at 5:00 PM.

• 24:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:14Fortune Feimster?

  That I love.

• 24:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah. Give me that sunshine. And I guess, uh, all that remains really is.

• 24:24Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 24:26Mae Martin?

  Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 24:44Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 24:45Mae Martin?

  What a podcast.

• 24:50Speaker 05

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.