Pretty Little Episode #73

Mae and Fortune try to pull off something cool, talk about Mae's new wheels, and muse about the Olympics on a gold medal-worthy Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:34Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time.

• 1:18Mae Martin?

  Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:47Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode. Hello. Welcome to the Handsome Pods. Pretty little episode. I'm Fortune Feimster. I'm Mae Martin. Hello. Hello, May. I don't know if you want to start off the bat with this, but we also have a special guest today. Oh my God, this is huge.

• 2:06Mae Martin?

  It's Biggie Bear.

• 2:09Fortune Feimster?

  It's Biggie Boy.

• 2:10Mae Martin?

  Go to YouTube. Look at this angel who's back in your arms.

• 2:15Fortune Feimster?

  He's the best. I haven't seen him for a little bit and we're reunited and it feels so good.

• 2:22Mae Martin?

  What was the reunion like?

• 2:24Fortune Feimster?

  Um, he was, since it's been a minute, he, you know, he kind of out of sight, out of mind kind of guy.

• 2:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, no.

• 2:35Mae Martin?

  No, in his heart, he.

• 2:38Fortune Feimster?

  But he was like, he was like that when we would like take him to like a sitter or something.

• 2:42Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 2:43Fortune Feimster?

  Whoever's feeding him has his heart, you know?

• 2:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Fortune Feimster?

  And, but as soon as I got home with him, I, he was like running around and like comping my arm and.

• 2:57Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 2:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I'm like, he's back, baby.

• 3:00Mae Martin?

  Back and he's horny.

• 3:03Mae Martin?

  Well, I can't, I can't wait to see him hopefully soon.

• 3:05Fortune Feimster?

  I know he like snuggled up to me. Um, he's the best like cuddle buddy to sleep with.

• 3:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, he is. I bet.

• 3:14Fortune Feimster?

  Little, but he just like snugs up against you real sweet.

• 3:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And I always, people ask me about Biggie a lot and I always. All the time. And I always say, you know, he's, he's more solid than you'd expect. His little legs, like he's, you can hug him. He's like, yeah, he's not a fragile boy.

• 3:32Fortune Feimster?

  He's nine pounds, but he's a sturdy boy.

• 3:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:37Fortune Feimster?

  He is getting older though. He only has four teeth now.

• 3:40Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. Wow. Is it two on top, two on the bottom?

• 3:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. His like little, the long pointy ones. Those are the only ones he has.

• 3:48Mae Martin?

  Oh man, it would be bad if it was like three on top, one on the bottom.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  It's so weird to look into his mouth because he used to, this has only been in the last like year and a half that he's started losing all his teeth. We had to get him some pulled, but, um, but I guess it's like common with Pomeranians and he's 11 or 12 now. We're not sure.

• 4:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:11Fortune Feimster?

  He's older.

• 4:12Mae Martin?

  It's crazy that we lose our teeth as a kid and then again when we're old.

• 4:16Fortune Feimster?

  But he's full of spunk.

• 4:17Mae Martin?

  Oh, debatable.

• 4:21Fortune Feimster?

  He's not dead eyes. You stop.

• 4:22Mae Martin?

  No, he's not. I've never thought he was. There's always been a twinkle. He's like, like, like Santa Claus.

• 4:29Fortune Feimster?

  Take and suck it. He's not dead eyes.

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  I have my friend Joe visiting from England and so my, I've put this bed, this sofa that is always in the background. It pulls out into a beautiful bed and it's so nice to have my buddy here.

• 4:45Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's great. You got a full house. You got your house guests in the back.

• 4:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:50Fortune Feimster?

  Your bud here. And I saw that you have a new car.

• 4:55Mae Martin?

  I mean, this is huge. This is, you know, on the main pod, I'm sure by now we will have talked about it, but yeah, we are currently recording like a week after I got my, my car and I don't even have my license yet. I, and I wasn't able to test drive it because of my, my, I'd have someone else test drive it because, um,

• 5:14Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you need insurance, but I can drive with a, with a licensed California driver in the car.

• 5:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, okay.

• 5:21Mae Martin?

  So now I'm, uh, I'm driving every day. I drove today to the reservoir, walked around.

• 5:26Fortune Feimster?

  Doesn't it feel more like you have more independence?

• 5:28Mae Martin?

  It's like such a confidence booster. I feel so much happier.

• 5:34Fortune Feimster?

  I love it because you were like loading groceries and I'm like, look at that. That would be such a pain in the ass in an Uber.

• 5:39Mae Martin?

  It's, I know, and, but I do have to, I, I didn't realize I like narrate as I drive to like soothe myself. So I'm, I'm going, well, I'm approaching a red light and, and behind me, it's, you know, it's, it's his problem to slow down because I'm focusing ahead and these rules are in place to keep us safe. Like I really have to. But I went on, for my lesson today, I went on the highway, half an hour there and then half an hour back. So I'm, I'm getting more confident. I can't wait to drive you somewhere.

• 6:09Fortune Feimster?

  I love that you're starting the new year, new you, new car, new license.

• 6:15Mae Martin?

  Get fucking, get rid of the year of the snake. Bring on the year of the horse.

• 6:20Fortune Feimster?

  It's a new year for you, baby.

• 6:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm really into the year of the horse. Yeah.

• 6:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Mae Martin?

  Nay. Am I right?

• 6:31Fortune Feimster?

  Do we know anything about what that means? You're the year of the horse?

• 6:34Mae Martin?

  Uh, yeah, it's like forward motion, stability, purpose. Um, this year was all about like shedding and the darkness and

• 6:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And I guess big dicks, because horses have big dicks.

• 6:49Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 6:51Mae Martin?

  That's, I'm reading that into it and I'm gonna be

• 6:53Fortune Feimster?

  Alright, well, look at you. Oh, my God. Well, new year, new year. There's gonna be, um,

• 7:01Mae Martin?

  Scandalous.

• 7:02Fortune Feimster?

  Forward and upward moments.

• 7:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I can't wait. Yeah. Do you think I should put stickers on my car that say like, new driver?

• 7:12Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I, listen, people will have a different opinion of this and some of our handsome listeners, um, you know, they might, they might have our own handsome sticker on their car.

• 7:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:23Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I don't put stickers on my car usually because I'm doing a lease.

• 7:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm doing a lease.

• 7:29Fortune Feimster?

  And, uh, I don't know how tough it is to get stickers off.

• 7:32Mae Martin?

  That's a really good point. Yeah, that's true. Okay.

• 7:36Fortune Feimster?

  My mom's old car had stickers all over the back of it and I was like,

• 7:40Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 7:41Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know about that.

• 7:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay, I'm gonna keep it, but it is, it's gonna be my little world, my little pod. I can't wait. I'm gonna like, I gotta hang something from the mirror.

• 7:52Fortune Feimster?

  I was, well, yeah, you can hang something from the mirror. It might be easier if you put a sticker on the window part. That might come off easier.

• 8:00Mae Martin?

  That's true. Baby on board or something.

• 8:02Fortune Feimster?

  Baby on board, baby's first car.

• 8:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, or, um, year of the horse.

• 8:09Fortune Feimster?

  I think there is a sticker that says something like, new driver.

• 8:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:15Fortune Feimster?

  Be careful or something.

• 8:16Mae Martin?

  Oh, but in LA, that would just, that would like incite their rage, like.

• 8:21Fortune Feimster?

  They'd be like, get out of the way!

• 8:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, the amount of times I've been honked at, like, when I'm in the drive, the driving school is like, learner vehicle that's covered in driving school learner and

• 8:32Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 8:33Mae Martin?

  Just because I'm not going above the speed limit, people are, wah, wah.

• 8:36Fortune Feimster?

  People are very impatient.

• 8:38Mae Martin?

  They really are.

• 8:39Fortune Feimster?

  You're gonna be great. I love this for you. I'm very, very happy for. Uh, this next big step.

• 8:46Mae Martin?

  Well, I'm, I mean, by, yeah, by the time this comes out, hopefully I'll have my license. It's, I've really talked it up so much that I have to just say I'm getting my license. If I fail, I'm gonna be really bummed, but.

• 8:58Fortune Feimster?

  I think you will because now you have a car in your mode and you see how nice it is to, to be able to do things for yourself in this way. I think it will motivate you.

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I can drive people around, but one thing I cannot tolerate and will never have is any music in the car.

• 9:14Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 9:14Mae Martin?

  No, I'm, I can't have that. No, no, no.

• 9:16Fortune Feimster?

  I cannot think of any, I don't want any noise going on.

• 9:20Mae Martin?

  Pretty much, yeah. I, I need silence.

• 9:23Fortune Feimster?

  Well, you're gonna, you're gonna get more comfortable driving and then your next phase will be getting so comfortable that you can take someone on a date.

• 9:30Mae Martin?

  Oh, my Lord, and drop them off and have that moment where the car pulls up and you stop and you're sitting, well, this is me. And I go, well.

• 9:39Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:40Mae Martin?

  Goodbye.

• 9:41Fortune Feimster?

  I remember back in the day in my early 30s, uh, one of my favorite things to do would be to go on dates and smooch in the car after.

• 9:50Mae Martin?

  Oh, it's the best. It's the best.

• 9:52Fortune Feimster?

  A car, a car smooch is really nice.

• 9:55Mae Martin?

  I even have that feeling when a friend drops me off somewhere and they, and it's nighttime after dinner and they drop me off and the car stops outside of my house. There's like a pregnant pause and I'm like, it feels like we should kiss, like.

• 10:09Fortune Feimster?

  It's just. Now your friends are gonna be like, why haven't you kissed me?

• 10:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Fortune Feimster?

  Thinking about it, why don't you just do it?

• 10:15Mae Martin?

  I know. Listen, should we hear what our listeners want to know and what they need?

• 10:19Fortune Feimster?

  Do it. Let's do it.

• 10:21Mae Martin?

  Let's do it.

• 10:23Speaker 00

  Hello, handsome. My name's Mariana. I'm a first time caller, forever listener. I'm from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and I will see May when they're here to perform their stand up. Uh, May, I think you'll find, as you know, Ottawa is better than Toronto. Recently, you guys were talking and Tig said that she walks around without a lid on her coffee. And May said, isn't it super bold and cool when people dare to wander around with their kitchen mug? And I thought, oh, God, I have never felt better about myself because May thinks I'm super cool. So my question is, what's something that you think is so cool and bold and confident when other people do it, but you can't pull it off of yourselves?

• 11:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, I have a list of mile long. Thank you for that question. And I do stand by that. Anyone who takes their home coffee mug out into the world, like in their car or walking around. Very cool.

• 11:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:18Mae Martin?

  For me, it's winking, like a confident casual wink, like I, I, I can't pull it off at all. Can you do it?

• 11:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:27Mae Martin?

  I mean,

• 11:29Mae Martin?

  kind of. I mean, you physically can.

• 11:31Fortune Feimster?

  I could do it, but you know, my whole face moves with it.

• 11:34Mae Martin?

  Same. Yeah. But people who are really good at a little twinkly wink that everyone else misses, you know?

• 11:40Fortune Feimster?

  I think when I do it without thinking, I can do a proper one. But like when I start thinking about it, I'm like,

• 11:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. That was good, that one. Then also, uh, people who like, instead of passing you something, throw, throw it. Like throw the keys or like throw you an apple to eat. But cause it's cool because it assumes that you're gonna, you're cool enough to catch it. And it's just confident. I'm thinking about Aladdin really in, in Aladdin.

• 12:11Fortune Feimster?

  You're not confident enough to throw anything at someone?

• 12:13Mae Martin?

  I would never presume that they would catch it. And yeah, no, or yeah. What about you?

• 12:20Fortune Feimster?

  I've, I've seen a lot of women wearing like really baggy jeans and pants lately.

• 12:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:26Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know that I can pull that off.

• 12:29Mae Martin?

  I think you can, but I know what you mean. It feels,

• 12:32Fortune Feimster?

  It feels like I'm already bigger built. So like to then add a bunch of extra fabric just seems like too much.

• 12:39Mae Martin?

  And people, they're so wide, the pants people are wearing now. But that is cool. Like you'll see Paul.

• 12:45Fortune Feimster?

  It looks cool on a lot of people.

• 12:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:48Fortune Feimster?

  But I don't think I can pull it off.

• 12:49Mae Martin?

  I think you could, like wide jeans and then a tighter tee.

• 12:54Fortune Feimster?

  Tighter tee shirt. I can't rock a tighter tee.

• 12:57Fortune Feimster?

  That's where I want the loose extra fabric is in the tea.

• 13:00Mae Martin?

  Then, then yeah, a structured pant.

• 13:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I like a structured pant. And also with my gams, why am I gonna not, you know, highlight those? Come on.

• 13:08Mae Martin?

  Exactly. Yeah.

• 13:10Fortune Feimster?

  Trying to think if there's anything else that's, I'm sure there's a lot of things where I'm like, oh, that's so cool, but I could never do it.

• 13:17Mae Martin?

  You know what I could never do, but I don't think it's cool? Vaping. I just can't, I know that, cause I, I still smoke occasionally and I know I shouldn't. And everyone's like, why don't you try vaping? I just can't, I can't do it. It's too

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  in the big cloud.

• 13:32Fortune Feimster?

  Now, is it as addict, I don't really know the science behind all of it. Is it as addictive as smoking?

• 13:38Mae Martin?

  Well, it's got nicotine in it. Yeah.

• 13:40Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 13:40Mae Martin?

  I think it just is meant to not have like the tar and stuff and it doesn't smell bad after, but um, we're gonna find out that it's evil.

• 13:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I have no desire to vape, but I don't have any desire to smoke either.

• 13:53Mae Martin?

  No, but you often like will mime a, will mime a cigarette.

• 13:56Fortune Feimster?

  I like to pretend that I'm an old fashioned broad from the Broadway in New York City.

• 14:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:03Fortune Feimster?

  Smoking a cigarette.

• 14:05Mae Martin?

  Timothy, did you get the alterations done?

• 14:09Fortune Feimster?

  Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee.

• 14:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:12Fortune Feimster?

  You know, that kind of thing. I do love that.

• 14:15Mae Martin?

  It suits you.

• 14:21Mae Martin?

  But that was a good question.

• 14:22Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that was a good thing.

• 14:23Mae Martin?

  Mariana, I'll see you.

• 14:25Fortune Feimster?

  That was a good thing.

• 14:26Mae Martin?

  That was a good thing. I was doing Ottawa, Mariana. Let's hear Mariana's answer.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  Well, my answer is for me, it's jumpsuits, a one-piece outfit, some kind of onesie that's super classy or super professional. On a good day, I'm like five foot tall and I really can't pull those off. I feel just absolutely ridiculous, but I think women in particular, or non-binary folks who wear something like that are just.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  The coolest.

• 14:56Mae Martin?

  I agree. I think it's, I think I could get into overalls. I think in a kind of like farm boy, fetch me that picture. And then I could be like the farm boy.

• 15:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 15:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:07Fortune Feimster?

  I can see that.

• 15:08Mae Martin?

  But it is, a one piece is very cool.

• 15:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, for sure. I cannot pull that off.

• 15:14Mae Martin?

  Should we hear one more?

• 15:15Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.

• 15:17Mae Martin?

  Let's do it.

• 15:18Speaker 04

  Hi handsome pod. This is Kate from Connecticut. And my question is, do you prefer the summer or winter Olympics, seeing as the winter Olympics are coming up soon? And further, is there an Olympic sport that you could see each other really excelling at?

• 15:32Mae Martin?

  Great question.

• 15:33Fortune Feimster?

  I love the Olympics. I, I love, I, I am more of a summer gal, though.

• 15:39Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm.

• 15:40Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I get very excited about it. I watch the opening ceremony. I'm super into it. I feel very, um, into like rooting the teams on. Winter Olympics, I, I do, I will watch some of them because I want to support the, the, these athletes. They work so hard to get to this point. But I'm not a winter sport gal.

• 16:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:02Fortune Feimster?

  I'm more of the summer. I love the like, I love to watch gymnastics. I love to watch swimming, which is weird because I don't watch any of this any other time.

• 16:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:13Fortune Feimster?

  I'll watch, uh, track and field. I'll watch soccer, tennis. I love it. There's so many good things.

• 16:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I agree. I'm, I'm, I'm a summer guy, but I don't really watch it, but I do, I love the opening ceremonies, like the, the one in England where the Queen met James Bond. That was great. And, uh, I, yeah, and I like to, I like, like kayaking and things, things that Canada's good at, I like. And then winter sports, I don't know. I get so, those skiers doing the flips. It's so insane. Yeah, I don't know.

• 16:49Fortune Feimster?

  Imagine your, your country of Canada, um, does very well in the winter sports. That's like where they shine, right?

• 16:58Mae Martin?

  Do we, Thomas?

• 17:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, Canada's always in the top like three or so countries in the winter Olympics.

• 17:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, because you guys are a wintry. Have a big winters.

• 17:10Mae Martin?

  Big winters. I should get into it then, because it's, I mean, I'm still recovering from the the World Series and I'd like to see Canada win something. So maybe some skiing. Yeah, I think you would be very good fortune at Olympic.

• 17:26Mae Martin?

  Olympic. Is there some, I'm trying to think about your games and is there something like, you know how dressage with horses where they kind of trot and prance? And if you were just trotting and prancing with your.

• 17:39Fortune Feimster?

  I could trot and prance. I was thinking I would be a ballroom dancer with short shorts.

• 17:44Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. Gotta be.

• 17:47Fortune Feimster?

  Probably not.

• 17:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I love watching figure skating, though, I will say.

• 17:51Fortune Feimster?

  Figure skating's fun.

• 17:53Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 17:54Fortune Feimster?

  I like a floor routine in gymnastics with the, um, with the ribbons.

• 17:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:58Fortune Feimster?

  I like to do that.

• 17:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:00Fortune Feimster?

  I could see you curling.

• 18:02Mae Martin?

  Thank you.

• 18:03Fortune Feimster?

  You're welcome.

• 18:04Mae Martin?

  I'll take it. I, if there was like an Olympic sport for, um, like apologizing for not being able to come to something.

• 18:14Fortune Feimster?

  That would be you.

• 18:15Mae Martin?

  That would be me. Yeah, yeah. Curling, I would like, or, um, yeah, I, there's a documentary that my friend made, a documentary comedy series called I Have Nothing, that's, in Canada, it's on Crave and it's on Peacock everywhere else. And it's about her trying to choreograph an Olympic level Paris figure skating routine, but she's never skated or danced. And it's her crazy dream and I'm in it and it's, I really recommend it if you like winter sports.

• 18:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. LA is gonna be hosting, uh, the Olympics.

• 18:48Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 18:49Fortune Feimster?

  And was it 27?

• 18:51Speaker 05

  2028.

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  28. But you know, every city that hosts it freaks out because they're never ready for it.

• 18:57Mae Martin?

  No, there's no public transport in this city.

• 19:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And then everybody, and then everyone shits on that city during the Olympics. Like, they really did like, well, we just had Paris and everyone was like, oh, he's, the housing's awful, the food's so bad.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  I know. And I just learned to drive and I'm gonna be on the roads during the Olympics here.

• 19:20Fortune Feimster?

  They got a lot of work to do to get ready. They're still, I mean, they've been doing things, trying to like get things prepared already, but I feel like they're behind.

• 19:31Mae Martin?

  We got a lot of work to do to get ready for those Olympics. We got to start training in our. Top dancing, prancing and curling.

• 19:38Fortune Feimster?

  We have, we have to get ready for the Oscars and the Olympics.

• 19:41Mae Martin?

  No, surely we'll be featured in the opening ceremony of the Olympics. I'll be shocked.

• 19:48Fortune Feimster?

  We'll run through the city with the, the torch, the Olympic torch, right?

• 19:53Mae Martin?

  Oh, how good would that be? Or like descend on wires into the stadium.

• 19:58Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I will say that they have to do some sort of like Hollywood stunt person type.

• 20:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Oh, it'll be Tom Cruise.

• 20:07Fortune Feimster?

  It's gotta be electric, you know?

• 20:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we need pyrotechnics. We need Katy Perry. We need all of it.

• 20:12Fortune Feimster?

  We need Katy Perry. We definitely must have Katy Perry.

• 20:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, actually, I think I take that back, actually.

• 20:20Fortune Feimster?

  Justin Trudeau. Maybe they'll still be together by then.

• 20:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, who knows?

• 20:27Fortune Feimster?

  I'm rooting for it. And he'll be holding a sign that says, "Your legacy will be great."

• 20:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and she'll wink at him confidently and throw him an apple.

• 20:36Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I think it's, I think it's fun. I, I love all these, uh, I love all these athletes from all over the world who've trained their booties off and this is their time to shine. I'm like, get your money, get your campaigns, get your sponsorships. This is your time, baby. You worked hard. This is your moment.

• 20:56Mae Martin?

  I like seeing the human body pushed to its limits.

• 21:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And I know when I'm watching it, I can't do what they're doing.

• 21:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, same.

• 21:05Fortune Feimster?

  Unless it would be like, uh, what is it called? Um, with the bow and arrow. Why can't I think? Archery. I would love archery.

• 21:14Mae Martin?

  Really? You think you'd be good?

• 21:15Fortune Feimster?

  I think, didn't Gina Davis get, uh, become an archerist? Is that the word?

• 21:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:23Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I think I could do decent, but it would take, uh, a lot of practice.

• 21:29Mae Martin?

  You know, it's crazy. We watched the Olympics and we're like, God, I respect. I could never do that. Comedy is so different. After every show, someone's going, "Ah, you should have done this." Someone in the audience or an Uber driver saying, "Ah, yeah, you should talk about this." I feel like everyone thinks, "I'll do it."

• 21:46Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 21:46Mae Martin?

  Does that sound bitter?

• 21:50Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's uh, let's hear Kate's answer.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  My answer is I prefer the Winter Olympics slightly because I love snow and the skiing and figure skating and all that is so impressive. And I really think Fortune and Tig would be pretty good at water polo, considering all the treading you've been doing. And May might have an innate Canadian ability to excel at ice hockey or curling. Anyway, I'm really excited this spring. I'm gonna see May on tour. It'll be my first ever comedy show. Tig, your Connecticut show was sold out. I shouldn't be surprised. And Fortune just saw Zootopia 2. You crushed it. Love the pod. Keep it handsome.

• 22:28Mae Martin?

  Thank you, Kate.

• 22:29Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it handsome, Kate. Well, it's always a treat to chat with you, my friend, and to hear from our lovely listeners.

• 22:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I love that both those people said they were coming to my tour show. That's so amazing.

• 22:44Fortune Feimster?

  I know. Are you excited for it? You getting pumped for this tour?

• 22:47Mae Martin?

  I am, and I'm riding feverishly. Yeah, I am getting pumped. I really like when people online tag us and that they've bought a ticket to all three of our shows. That's so nice. And they're, they're doing it like, I checked off the trifecta, like we're Pokemon they're collecting, and I really like that.

• 23:06Fortune Feimster?

  Well, it is nice that the people support us so much.

• 23:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah. What, what do you got coming up?

• 23:12Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I'm just doing some stand-up right now. I got, um, I'm in Atlanta tonight, doing a show there. And then coming up, I have Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, a bunch of shows, Bayonneville, Arkansas, Little Rock, San Diego, Oklahoma City. What about you?

• 23:32Mae Martin?

  I'm just gearing up for my tour, which starts end of February. So check out maymartin.net. And I'm going to 35 cities in North America. And that's my main vibe right now. So check that out.

• 23:45Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 23:46Mae Martin?

  And I guess, other than that, all that remains is to keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.