Pretty Little Episode #113

Fortune and Tig do some wedding planning and accidentally fuel a sibling rivalry on today's Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Fortune Feimster?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I put on some shorts before we debut the handsome GamCam? Oopsie. The whole point of the GamCam is to show off your gams, so you know I'm gonna change out of these jeans quick.

• 0:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:44Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode.

• 0:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's your host Tig Notaro on the pretty little episode. I'm sitting here with?

• 0:54Fortune Feimster?

  Fortune Feimster.

• 0:55Tig Notaro?

  Hi Fortune Feimster.

• 0:57Fortune Feimster?

  Hello Tig Notaro. How are you?

• 1:01Tig Notaro?

  I'm all right. I was-

• 1:03Fortune Feimster?

  Notaro.

• 1:04Tig Notaro?

  Hey, yes, I'm Italian.

• 1:10Fortune Feimster?

  Well, it's great to see you Tig.

• 1:13Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, thank you. It's great to see you as well. You know, I got a little caught up in our theme song there. It's catchy.

• 1:23Fortune Feimster?

  Just bipping and bopping?

• 1:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, with my fingers. And-

• 1:28Fortune Feimster?

  I have heard you're good at fingering. No? Too soon?

• 1:35Tig Notaro?

  Too late.

• 1:37Fortune Feimster?

  Is it too late?

• 1:39Tig Notaro?

  Right on time, my friend.

• 1:41Fortune Feimster?

  It's right on time.

• 1:44Tig Notaro?

  I find it hard to kind of pick out our voice. I kind of hear May is the most in the theme song.

• 1:52Fortune Feimster?

  You know, that's so funny. This time when I was listening to it, I was thinking that same exact thing.

• 1:56Tig Notaro?

  That May is more pronounced?

• 1:58Fortune Feimster?

  No, that I could just, I was just listening for like where our voices came in.

• 2:03Tig Notaro?

  Wow, we are really in sync here.

• 2:06Fortune Feimster?

  I know. I was like, because I was like, I hear May, May's predominantly in the beginning. And then when the long note goes, I can hear myself and then obviously you at the end. And I was, I'm not usually when the theme song plays, am I paying attention to that?

• 2:24Tig Notaro?

  Right, kind of similarly over here. And then yet today, on this pretty little episode, you and I both were listening. And how talented is May writing such an earworm?

• 2:38Fortune Feimster?

  Very talented. That is quite the catchy tune.

• 2:42Tig Notaro?

  It's good. It's real good. I wonder what the song would be like if it was a full three and a half minute pop song.

• 2:50Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah, like would we go into a whole other chorus that no one saw coming?

• 2:55Tig Notaro?

  And a bridge and a guitar solo.

• 2:58Fortune Feimster?

  Remember when we wrote that song for our Squarespace?

• 3:04Tig Notaro?

  You mean when Thomas did?

• 3:06Fortune Feimster?

  Thomas wrote a song for us.

• 3:10Tig Notaro?

  Oh, wait, we weren't supposed to say that?

• 3:11Speaker 04

  No, it's okay.

• 3:16Tig Notaro?

  Have we not? I thought we had told people. We haven't?

• 3:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, we have.

• 3:20Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 3:23Fortune Feimster?

  Our hit, our hit Christmas song that we sang that one time.

• 3:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, how does that go?

• 3:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, uh, something about Hollybobs.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Have a handsome holiday.

• 3:41Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, you and May should maybe write an album.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, handsome-

• 3:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 04

  Holiday album.

• 3:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and then I'll sing the lead, obviously.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  And we are, we're already planning ahead this year that we know for sure we're having a Holly, Hollybob show.

• 3:57Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 3:58Fortune Feimster?

  So that will be very fun.

• 4:00Tig Notaro?

  Indeed.

• 4:01Fortune Feimster?

  Love a live show and you never know what's gonna happen.

• 4:04Tig Notaro?

  You never know what's gonna happen. You never know who's gonna be there, if there's gonna be anyone. But also-

• 4:09Fortune Feimster?

  We'll be there.

• 4:11Tig Notaro?

  Well, I think we should make, or not make, but suggest to May that they extend the song into a full-on pop song. Have a bridge, have a solo, all of it.

• 4:25Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, we'll pass that feedback along.

• 4:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Fortune Feimster?

  The last time I saw you guys in person, May gave me this Golden Girls picture that I'm gonna try to figure out where it can go on my wall of, what do you call these? My memorabilia?

• 4:45Tig Notaro?

  Sure. I'm glad that May gave that to you because I kind of, like, I've seen the Golden Girls once or twice, but that would be one of those gifts where I'm like, I don't really know what-

• 4:58Fortune Feimster?

  Why are there four older women in shoulder pads in this picture?

• 5:03Tig Notaro?

  I wouldn't know what to do with that.

• 5:05Fortune Feimster?

  There's a lot of shoulder pads happening in this picture.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  Well, it was the 80s, right?

• 5:10Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 5:12Tig Notaro?

  Wasn't it the 80s?

• 5:13Fortune Feimster?

  Then, or early 90s, late 80s, early 90s, like 86 until like, early 90s, maybe?

• 5:20Tig Notaro?

  Wow, so you were really a fan.

• 5:22Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I love the Golden Girls. I am a super fan.

• 5:26Tig Notaro?

  And did you wear shoulder pads?

• 5:29Fortune Feimster?

  I sure did.

• 5:30Tig Notaro?

  Did you?

• 5:32Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that was only because my mom dressed me.

• 5:34Tig Notaro?

  Oh, right.

• 5:35Fortune Feimster?

  It wasn't my Golden Girls influence. It's just that my mom, anytime I had to dress up for something, she would take me to like some old lady's store and she would find an outfit. She'd be like, oh my, this is gorgeous. No, this is, I'm telling you, this makes you look slim. It's so feminine. And it would just be like some shoulder pads, like blazer with a long skirt that was like burnt orange. I'm like, this is awful.

• 6:09Tig Notaro?

  It's so funny because it seems like shoulder pads and a blazer feel so masculine. It's so odd that it was a feminine touch that-

• 6:21Fortune Feimster?

  It was.

• 6:22Tig Notaro?

  You know what I'm saying? It doesn't feel like, oh, I know what to do with a lady. Put in shoulder pads and-

• 6:30Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 6:30Tig Notaro?

  You know, give her some broad shoulders.

• 6:34Fortune Feimster?

  It was the times. It just was, that's what was in, were shoulder pads. I joked in my stand-up special, Sweet and Salty, that I looked like a lawyer who was like, let's go litigate ladies.

• 6:51Fortune Feimster?

  I also am influenced by that, those kind of ladies, because look what I've been, just bought myself. It's an Andes, an Andes Mint. You know, the little green, the little-

• 7:06Tig Notaro?

  Are those for elderly women?

• 7:08Fortune Feimster?

  Well, they just were like, there's, they're from back in my grandmother's day, these little-

• 7:14Tig Notaro?

  I used to love those.

• 7:15Fortune Feimster?

  They're so good. And I was just somewhere where they were for sale and I was like, my grandma-

• 7:22Tig Notaro?

  Those don't seem like those should be for sale. Those feel like they're in a dish for free everywhere.

• 7:27Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's where I saw them was I took my dad out for his 80th birthday. And in the, it's an old school restaurant that's been there for decades in Charlotte.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  Your dad is 80?

• 7:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, both my parents are now.

• 7:44Tig Notaro?

  He does not look that.

• 7:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, he's 80. And I had a little bowl of these Andes Mints. I grabbed me four.

• 7:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:55Fortune Feimster?

  And then I said, this is not enough. And in the store, I'm gonna buy some of these. And I did.

• 8:01Tig Notaro?

  Well, look at you throwing money around. And-

• 8:05Fortune Feimster?

  Can't stop me.

• 8:06Tig Notaro?

  Andes Mints, that feels, again, as, it feels so weird to buy, as weird as buying those round, red and white pinwheel mints.

• 8:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:21Tig Notaro?

  Like, can you imagine? Right, a store. But like just a person in the world, nobody should be spending any money on the pinwheel mints, red and white mints, or Andes. I'm sorry.

• 8:40Fortune Feimster?

  I understand what you're saying, but I felt like I couldn't take more than four mints out of the bowl without-

• 8:46Tig Notaro?

  That's where you're wrong.

• 8:47Fortune Feimster?

  Being judged.

• 8:49Tig Notaro?

  No. You said on a recent episode, you don't care what people think of you. And that's what happens when you get older and you eat things like Andes Mints and pinwheel mints. You're old enough to not care what people are saying or thinking about you.

• 9:04Fortune Feimster?

  You're right. My mom gave me that speech the other day.

• 9:07Tig Notaro?

  Why?

• 9:08Fortune Feimster?

  Because she wanted me to do something I didn't want to do. And I was like, I don't want to drive into that place. And she goes, just do it. I go, it's a private driveway. They don't care. I'm like, but I don't wanna. She's like, why do you care? And I was like, why are we having this conversation?

• 9:26Tig Notaro?

  That's not a speech, by the way.

• 9:28Fortune Feimster?

  Well, she was just going on and on about it. How, I said, they've got cameras. I don't want to be like rolling up into someone's driveway. She wanted to be like, check out this house. And I'm like, I don't want to just go into a stranger's driveway. I felt that was fair.

• 9:44Tig Notaro?

  That's, I guess I'm on your side. It feels like people are weird these days with-

• 9:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, that's what I said.

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  Were you, I guess you were in the South too?

• 9:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, she's like, we're in Belmont. I'm like, yeah, but still.

• 9:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, all right.

• 9:59Fortune Feimster?

  Anyway.

• 9:59Tig Notaro?

  Well, should we get to our questions?

• 10:01Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 10:03Tig Notaro?

  Or somebody gets hurt.

• 10:05Speaker 05

  Hi, Handsoms. This is Donna, calling from Kingston, Ontario, Canada, and I'm looking for some advice or some suggestions.

• 10:12Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 10:13Speaker 05

  So my son is getting married soon and we're trying to figure out what we want our mother-son dance to be. We know that we don't want anything that's like super slow and sappy. We want it to be fun and upbeat and that's gonna get the crowd ready to get out on the dance floor. We are both rhythmically challenged, so we definitely need something to be fairly simple. I'm wondering if you have any ideas of a fun dance that we could do, or if you've been to a wedding and you've seen something fun and memorable of what that might be. I look forward to hearing your suggestions. Hopefully you can help us plan the perfect dance. Thanks so much. Love y'all.

• 10:49Tig Notaro?

  Okay, I feel like you are the queen of wedding dances, but I do want to throw in there-

• 10:55Fortune Feimster?

  I knew you'd have something.

• 10:56Tig Notaro?

  If they are open

• 11:00Tig Notaro?

  to a tiny version of line dancing, I think that could be really cute and fun.

• 11:05Fortune Feimster?

  Throwing in a little heel toe do-si-do?

• 11:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I feel like that's kind of, you can make it very basic and pared down, don't you think?

• 11:14Fortune Feimster?

  Um, yeah, I mean, there's, you know, it's like kind of the electric slide, which you know about. And then a little-

• 11:20Tig Notaro?

  No, I don't.

• 11:21Fortune Feimster?

  Kicking of your boot with your hand.

• 11:25Fortune Feimster?

  Can be a pretty basic dance move, which is any, is a crowd pleaser for anyone.

• 11:30Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 11:31Fortune Feimster?

  Donna's voice, by the way, sounds way too young to be having a

• 11:34Tig Notaro?

  I was thinking this. Yeah. How old are you, Donna? Please write in.

• 11:39Fortune Feimster?

  Donna. We're dying to know.

• 11:42Tig Notaro?

  Donna.

• 11:43Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, Donna. Oh, Donna. I had a girl.

• 11:52Tig Notaro?

  Did you like, love her name?

• 11:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's Richie Valens.

• 11:58Tig Notaro?

  She left me.

• 11:59Fortune Feimster?

  I've never been the same.

• 12:01Tig Notaro?

  Do you know he was seventeen?

• 12:03Fortune Feimster?

  I know, and he looked like he was thirty-five.

• 12:05Tig Notaro?

  Well, it was Lou Diamond Phillips.

• 12:07Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no, I'm talking about the real Richie Valens.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 12:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Oh, you mean when Richie, uh, when Lou Diamond Phillips

• 12:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:15Fortune Feimster?

  made that movie, he was seventeen?

• 12:17Tig Notaro?

  No, Richie Valens was seventeen when he was a pop star and died.

• 12:24Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's so sad. Anyway.

• 12:28Tig Notaro?

  Um, this is a weird thing to say on the heels of that.

• 12:33Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 12:33Tig Notaro?

  Two things.

• 12:34Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 12:35Tig Notaro?

  Buddy Holly died in that plane crash.

• 12:37Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 12:38Tig Notaro?

  And his hit song, "That'll Be The Day When You Say Goodbye," "That'll Be The Day

• 12:45Tig Notaro?

  When You Make Me Cry," yeah, it's about dying.

• 12:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, thank you for that good button.

• 12:52Tig Notaro?

  And do you know his?

• 12:54Fortune Feimster?

  Donna's like, what's happening right now?

• 12:59Fortune Feimster?

  I'm trying to get a wedding dance. How did we get here?

• 13:09Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I know the regional folklore before visiting a new area? A goblin's curse be upon me. I pride myself on buffing up on local legends and myths before my arrival, so I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know what's said to lurk under bridges in this region.

• 13:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary such as terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 13:43Fortune Feimster?

  I think Donna should go for nostalgia. It shouldn't be like a, shouldn't be like a current pop song and it should not be like a rap song. It should be like a disco type of song or an oldie. Um, and then it could be, be like, or a waltz is an easy type of dance. So it could, but you know, everyone likes a little fun choreo- choreography where the, the son and the mom are both like, you know, like the, the worm where you like hold each other's hand and you do your arms like in a worm?

• 14:24Tig Notaro?

  Isn't that a wave? The wave?

• 14:26Fortune Feimster?

  Is that a wave, a wave worm?

• 14:28Tig Notaro?

  Okay, worms waving, but what if they did the John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John?

• 14:33Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh. You're the one I want.

• 14:36Tig Notaro?

  Together, or whatever, not we go together.

• 14:44Tig Notaro?

  You're the one that I want. They need to learn.

• 14:45Fortune Feimster?

  You're the one that I want.

• 14:47Tig Notaro?

  Well, that'd be weird, a mom and son.

• 14:48Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah, they're singing that to each other.

• 14:52Tig Notaro?

  I would go.

• 14:56Tig Notaro?

  I would go with the electric slide.

• 14:58Fortune Feimster?

  Donna's like, I revoke my question. Um, I'm trying to think, or it could be like, um, a booga, booga, booga, booga. It could be, uh, oh, this is, this is too slow. I was thinking of going to the chapel and we're gonna get married.

• 15:15Tig Notaro?

  They're saying that to each other.

• 15:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, it's, we're, we're really coming up against a wall here with mom and son.

• 15:23Tig Notaro?

  Electric slide.

• 15:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but that's like, that's for the group, that's for everybody. They gotta bring it.

• 15:29Tig Notaro?

  Well, they can start it and then they get the group going, right?

• 15:32Fortune Feimster?

  Let me Google.

• 15:34Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy.

• 15:35Fortune Feimster?

  Let's get Google's help. Best mother.

• 15:41Fortune Feimster?

  Mother.

• 15:43Fortune Feimster?

  Son wedding. We, we encourage everyone to ask our advice because we're so good at Googling.

• 15:51Tig Notaro?

  We, I mean, you've mastered it. I've never quite seen anybody.

• 15:55Fortune Feimster?

  Fifty songs and it's.

• 15:58Tig Notaro?

  Well, why don't you rattle them all off? Fortune.

• 16:02Fortune Feimster?

  Just me rattling off fifty songs for the next ten minutes. Well, for some reason, it's not wanting to come up. It doesn't want Donna to know.

• 16:13Tig Notaro?

  Oh, Donna.

• 16:16Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, Donna. I met a girl. Donna was her name.

• 16:28Tig Notaro?

  And she had me.

• 16:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, this, this one has a slow one. A Song For Mama by Boyz II Men. That one's too, that's too slow. It's mama. Mama, you know I love you. And then it's all about your mom.

• 16:45Tig Notaro?

  How about mama just killed a man? Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Okay, so Electric Slide it is. Donna, have a great time.

• 17:00Fortune Feimster?

  Electric Slide.

• 17:01Tig Notaro?

  You get it started and then it brings everybody in and it brings it all home for the handsome pod.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  Donna, Google best songs.

• 17:10Tig Notaro?

  Donna knows to Google.

• 17:12Fortune Feimster?

  Mother, son, dancing.

• 17:13Tig Notaro?

  I love that you're suggesting something.

• 17:17Fortune Feimster?

  All these are slow songs, like Fleetwood Mac. Come on now.

• 17:21Tig Notaro?

  What, Landslide?

• 17:23Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, uh, yeah, that's too song. You need a song that you can like.

• 17:27Tig Notaro?

  I feel like Landslide was about cocaine.

• 17:30Fortune Feimster?

  Choreography too. I need, Donna, whatever you do, you and your son need to add the worm slash wave.

• 17:38Tig Notaro?

  All right. Well, all the best to you, Donna, and your family, and congrats. Did Donna have anything to say? No, okay. What is our next question?

• 17:47Fortune Feimster?

  Wind Beneath My Wings by Midler. That's hilarious. Do an interpretive dance, Donna.

• 17:53Speaker 00

  Hi, Fortune, May and Tig. Um, my name is Sydney, middle name coincidentally Marie. And I have to tell you, I've been sitting on this one for a year and thinking about it every single day.

• 18:09Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  When Tig shared the song that she wrote for her kids about the morning fruit.

• 18:17Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  It got stuck in my head and I found myself on the toilet one morning singing morning poops, morning poops. Um, just thought you guys might want to know that. Thank you so much. I love your podcast.

• 18:37Fortune Feimster?

  Have you had your morning poops?

• 18:39Tig Notaro?

  Wait, was, there's no question.

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  There's no question.

• 18:43Tig Notaro?

  She's just telling us that she sings morning poops on the toilet.

• 18:47Fortune Feimster?

  Poops.

• 18:48Tig Notaro?

  Morning.

• 18:49Fortune Feimster?

  Have you had your morning, morning poops? I like it.

• 18:54Tig Notaro?

  Sydney.

• 18:55Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's a great way to

• 18:56Tig Notaro?

  My goodness.

• 18:58Fortune Feimster?

  to call in. Morning poops.

• 19:01Tig Notaro?

  Morning poops.

• 19:03Fortune Feimster?

  You've, uh, inspired people to take your morning fruit song and turn it into something else. And I like, I like that spunk. Sydney, good job, girl.

• 19:13Tig Notaro?

  I'm just such an inspiration, aren't I?

• 19:16Fortune Feimster?

  Did you ever know that you're my hero? Donna, are you listening? You're everything I wish I could be.

• 19:28Tig Notaro?

  Mama just killed a man.

• 19:32Fortune Feimster?

  All right, next question.

• 19:34Speaker 06

  Hey handsome, this is Emily from Abbling, Texas, and my question is, what lengths have you gone to, to get under your sibling's skin?

• 19:49Fortune Feimster?

  That's hilarious.

• 19:50Tig Notaro?

  I'm fifty-five.

• 19:52Fortune Feimster?

  I was about to say, are we still doing that?

• 20:00Tig Notaro?

  Uh, like, I don't know if anybody I'm trying to get under their skin, even if I'm under there.

• 20:08Fortune Feimster?

  It's not on purpose these days.

• 20:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:11Fortune Feimster?

  Back in the day, for sure. My brother used, my brother Jay used to do the thing where he would like put his finger in front of my face.

• 20:19Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 20:20Fortune Feimster?

  He'd be like, I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you. And I would be like, stop it. That got under my skin real bad because I could feel his negative energy.

• 20:31Tig Notaro?

  And what did you do, though? Nothing?

• 20:33Fortune Feimster?

  I just yelled at him.

• 20:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but you were just so cute.

• 20:37Fortune Feimster?

  Of course.

• 20:38Tig Notaro?

  You were just walking around cute and you couldn't help it?

• 20:41Fortune Feimster?

  No, I always would try to tell my mom, like, Mom, Jay's doing this. Mom, Price is doing this. Mama. She'd be like, stop it. We drove our parents insane.

• 20:54Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I drove my brother insane.

• 21:04Tig Notaro?

  I can't even think of specific, I mean, oh, even though I liked the TV show, The Waltons, I knew it drove him insane. And so we could each pick a TV show to watch.

• 21:20Fortune Feimster?

  Now you would pick that just to make him mad?

• 21:23Tig Notaro?

  Well, I, there were other shows that I knew that he probably would like, but I would be like, no, I want to watch The Waltons. And he'd be like, oh, God. Like, it drove him insane, you know? Whereas I, I could have picked, you know, All in the Family or Sanford and Son, something like our whole family enjoyed, but I'd be like, no, I want The Waltons. Or Little House on the Prairie. I loved, you know me, I love a bonnet. I love, I love olden days.

• 21:55Tig Notaro?

  So that's, that's, that's, you know, that's what I would do. Meanwhile, my brother would pin me down and let us spit dangle down half a hair from my face and then suck it back up.

• 22:08Fortune Feimster?

  That's gross.

• 22:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's probably why I'm gay.

• 22:12Fortune Feimster?

  Probably. I just hung out with both of my brothers recently.

• 22:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Fortune Feimster?

  And I would say we are getting along quite well now. We've, we've had our spats before.

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:26Fortune Feimster?

  Where somebody pisses the other one off and then they hold on to that grudge for too long.

• 22:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:34Fortune Feimster?

  That's definitely happened. And you just, I think as we've gotten older, we are in that, like, life's too short mentality.

• 22:44Tig Notaro?

  For sure.

• 22:45Fortune Feimster?

  But I love, I feel like Emily's going to tell us something good.

• 22:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, let's hear what she's got to say.

• 22:52Speaker 06

  And my answer is calling in this question because my sister, Jamie, from Abilene, Texas, has been calling in questions and just really, really wants to have her voice on Handsome because y'all mean so much to her. But I'm hoping I win and I hope that really gets under her skin.

• 23:17Fortune Feimster?

  I guess he won then.

• 23:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I guess so. I don't remember anyone calling in from Abilene.

• 23:24Fortune Feimster?

  Abilene, like the Ella Langley song.

• 23:26Tig Notaro?

  I'd remember.

• 23:27Fortune Feimster?

  He's from Texas, I can tell by the way he's just stepping around the floor. Or she's from Texas.

• 23:35Tig Notaro?

  And also with George Strait. And Sweet Island lanes from Abilene. You know, all my exes live in Texas.

• 23:46Fortune Feimster?

  All my exes live in Texas. Or I'm going through the big deal, I don't mean Dallas.

• 23:56Fortune Feimster?

  I can't believe what the judge had to tell us. She got the dog. Or no, I got the dog, she got the palace.

• 24:03Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, we gotta go to a country western bar together.

• 24:06Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't even get the dog.

• 24:10Tig Notaro?

  But you did get Dallas.

• 24:12Fortune Feimster?

  I got Dallas for sure.

• 24:14Tig Notaro?

  You got, you got Dallas.

• 24:18Fortune Feimster?

  Well, some lovely questions. Once again, don't forget to submit your questions. And you saw how great we are at advice.

• 24:27Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh, nailing it.

• 24:29Fortune Feimster?

  Submit that as well to speakpipe.com/handsompod.

• 24:33Tig Notaro?

  Yes. And also just to put it out there, I will be doing a couple of shows in Olympia, Washington, among other places. Go to my website for tickets.

• 24:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm on tour as well. So I've got about a month left. So check out a bunch of, I've got a bunch of West Coast shows coming up, so.

• 24:49Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 24:50Fortune Feimster?

  LA and all those places, Oakland.

• 24:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Well, until next time.

• 24:56Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 24:59Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Thiemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. Follow us on social media, at HandsomePod.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 25:26Fortune Feimster?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I seal my beans before I wrap up my coffee routine in the morning? Aw, rats. Now my coffee's a bit stale and I only have myself to blame for my subpar espresso. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.