Pretty Little Episode #111

Mae and Tig come out *strong* against littering and name their most transformative work experiences on a Pretty Little Episode that will change you forever! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:19Mae Martin?

  Welcome to a pretty little episode of the Handsome Pod. I am Mae Martin. I'm joined by

• 0:26Tig Notaro?

  Tig Notaro.

• 0:28Mae Martin?

  You're looking like Paul Newman or something today in that nice crisp

• 0:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 0:33Mae Martin?

  Uh, button up shirt.

• 0:34Tig Notaro?

  Yes, I'm in New York City and um, I'm going to, it's Climate Week in uh, New York and I'm going to an, an event with my dear pal, the adorable Kate McCucci.

• 0:53Mae Martin?

  Friend of the pod.

• 0:54Tig Notaro?

  Friend of the pod and also dear, dear friend of mine. Just, I was just reflecting on how lucky I feel to have that person as my friend.

• 1:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's so nice. What is, Climate Week is just saying, hey, guys.

• 1:13Tig Notaro?

  Quit littering.

• 1:13Mae Martin?

  Let's quit littering. Remember when all we talked about was reduce, reuse, recycle? And it was that simple?

• 1:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you throw a bottle, a used bottle of Coca-Cola in recycling and you save the planet. And you don't use hairspray, whatever those like aerosol cans were.

• 1:31Mae Martin?

  It really felt like if we could just do those two things, we're good for centuries.

• 1:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 1:37Mae Martin?

  And then they just sent the um, emergency, they, they said California is gonna, in a state of emergency because of El Nino coming up. And it's like, what are, okay, what, what are we meant to do with that information?

• 1:51Tig Notaro?

  I think it's really just prepare. I mean, prepare, prepare, prepare. And that's what we've been doing with our home and off house.

• 2:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, please. We're gonna fall off this cliff. We know.

• 2:04Tig Notaro?

  I know. Well, that's unrelated to El Nino. Your house is just teetering on a pebble, but.

• 2:10Mae Martin?

  It's like from a fairy tale.

• 2:13Tig Notaro?

  Except without a happy ending.

• 2:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah. It's a really dark sort of medieval German fairy tale.

• 2:19Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Um, we've just had our trees trimmed and we've uh, you know, you clear out your gutters. If you don't have gutters, put on gutters, uh, make sure any sort of drains around your house are cleared out so that it doesn't, uh, I mean, we didn't know one of our drains was clogged because we obviously don't get enough rain in California regularly to really know. Um, and if you can put in a drain in an area that maybe pools.

• 2:54Mae Martin?

  It's crazy that I don't even know.

• 2:56Tig Notaro?

  Check your roof. What's happening?

• 2:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, check. I just had, well, a couple, when I moved in, that we got the roof checked and everything. But it's, I don't even know if I have gutters or drains. I must, right?

• 3:06Tig Notaro?

  Well, I would look up and down.

• 3:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:09Tig Notaro?

  The gutters will be up and the drain will be down.

• 3:12Mae Martin?

  I'm just gonna do a little loop at the house.

• 3:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I, it's really important, you know, uh, because you're gonna be bummed if um, you start getting a leak in your roof or um, something's pooling in the backyard or something.

• 3:27Mae Martin?

  The basement too, I'm thinking about. It's got like a dirt floor, but maybe sandbags, people are saying? Get some sandbags?

• 3:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, that can help, you know?

• 3:37Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 3:38Tig Notaro?

  I, I would do anything in your power to prepare. And this is also coming from somebody, I don't know if you know, but like Hurricane Katrina hit my hometown of Mississippi and leveled it. And so I am, I am so.

• 3:52Mae Martin?

  You take it seriously.

• 3:53Tig Notaro?

  I take it so seriously. People died. Uh, the whole town was leveled. I mean, uh, coffins, um, school buses were all in the ocean. It, it, it just what people, it, it was so horrifying. And so I'm a little, I'm, I, yeah, I just take it very seriously. And not that I'm expecting that destruction, um, but.

• 4:21Mae Martin?

  Hopefully they're preparing for it on a municipal level too, right? Or?

• 4:25Tig Notaro?

  For sure, but like around your own house, like, that's really, really, you have to do, hire somebody to come check your drains and make sure you have gutters. Make, if you do, make sure those are cleaned out. Uh, and make sure your roof is uh, in order.

• 4:43Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 4:44Tig Notaro?

  And also, none of that really explains my crisp button down shirt.

• 4:50Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. You're going to an event, right?

• 4:53Tig Notaro?

  I am. I'm going, I'm going to an event. Uh, I filmed something um, yesterday for breast cancer awareness uh, in October. And so it was different, um, cancer survi, breast cancer survivors having um, a dinner or lunch and talking about their experience. And Linda Perry was there.

• 5:16Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 5:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I didn't even know Linda had breast cancer. And.

• 5:21Mae Martin?

  Me neither.

• 5:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but she apparently um, has a Hulu documentary that's come out that's supposed to be beautiful.

• 5:30Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 5:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:32Mae Martin?

  I'll watch it. Man, what a, what a tune, that one tune.

• 5:36Tig Notaro?

  I mean.

• 5:37Mae Martin?

  And so I wake in the morning and I go outside.

• 5:40Tig Notaro?

  I mean, it is insane. I, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I remember years ago, Sarah Silverman saying that she went to buy that album. And the guy behind the counter said, oh, yeah, you're not gonna want this. Um, this is just like a, basically saying like, this is just like a fleeting pop song. Like, you're not gonna wanna buy the whole album. And Sarah was like, why? She was like, I love this. And, and she was like, and I, I bought it, but the guy like tried to turn me away from it. And it, and I think about that all the time, how wrong that man was. I mean, not only was that a massive hit, but Linda Perry is like a

• 6:25Mae Martin?

  Huge.

• 6:25Tig Notaro?

  Song machine.

• 6:27Mae Martin?

  She wrote um, Beautiful, the Christina Aguilera song.

• 6:31Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, like Pink's whole first album.

• 6:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:34Tig Notaro?

  Just, just a, a machine. And.

• 6:36Mae Martin?

  I love that though, when you uh, when you see like people in the olden times being like, the Beatles, I'm out of my thing. I love it. Old black and white.

• 6:46Tig Notaro?

  Mop haircuts, um, devil worshippers, that Ozzy Osbourne.

• 6:51Mae Martin?

  Did you meet Linda Perry?

• 6:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, I sat with, I mean, I, I, I know Linda. Um, she and I, she used to live in my neighborhood. And um, when she and Sarah Gilbert split, Sarah stayed in the neighborhood and um, Linda uh, went to another house, but they're still tight. But yeah, I sat next to her and it was um, it was uh, it was just a nice experience, just sitting around with people that had similar, I mean, this, of course, this is kind of perfect timing because October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So that's when this will come, be coming out. But it just is, it's always interesting to hear other

• 7:34Tig Notaro?

  people's experiences. And um, I'm just so excited to watch her documentary because I really had no idea. And it seems like she's got a story to tell.

• 7:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'll watch it. I'll definitely watch it. I, I used to do.

• 7:49Tig Notaro?

  Go to Hulu, go to U-Haul, go to, anyway.

• 7:54Mae Martin?

  I used to do musical comedy, bad musical comedy. And my first thing, when I first started doing it, was a spoof of What's Going On by Four Non Blondes. And it was about me, a true story of me seeing Don Cheadle filming a movie outside the window of my apartment when I was like 18 and just like, it was like, and I wake in the morning and I look outside. And then I say to Don Cheadle, what's going on? And then we fall in love.

• 8:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's so nice.

• 8:20Mae Martin?

  It was pretty bad, but I flogged it until it was dead, that song. I played it all around the town.

• 8:26Tig Notaro?

  Well, you can't kill your version or Linda's or anyone's. She even did, I don't know if you know this, but she did a version with uh, Dolly Parton.

• 8:35Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 8:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, uh, just a few years ago.

• 8:39Mae Martin?

  That's very cool.

• 8:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And, and just because I'm on a music kick, I found out recently that um, the incredible Edie Raquel has put together a new band and is touring. And I cannot wait to go see her. Yeah.

• 8:56Mae Martin?

  That'll be a good live show. That's exciting.

• 8:59Tig Notaro?

  I know. Yeah.

• 9:00Mae Martin?

  You should, you should just tour around with her.

• 9:03Tig Notaro?

  I think she's only, I think she said she's only doing like nine dates or something, but.

• 9:08Mae Martin?

  That's the way to do it.

• 9:09Tig Notaro?

  I will be there. And I recommend everyone go see her. She's so good. Anyway, how are you, May?

• 9:16Mae Martin?

  I'm well. I'm well, thanks. I'm uh, I'm excited. Fontaine's DC is in town. They're an Irish band playing a show. And I've hung out with them a few times. And now I'm in a position where I'm DMing the singer, implying that I would love to come to the show. The tickets are sold out. And he's not picking up on the hints. And it's really, it's getting awkward.

• 9:37Tig Notaro?

  He's picking up.

• 9:38Mae Martin?

  Oh, you think he is? Yeah, I'm going, well, I go, missed my chance to get tickets. Well, would love to hang out anyway, which I would love to hang out. But yeah, I was hoping he'd say, oh, I'll put you on the list. So maybe I need to be more direct.

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah. My favorite is when people write and say, um, hey, um, how do I get tickets to your show when it's not sold out?

• 10:01Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, that's the, that's the worst. How do I get tickets to your show? What time does it start?

• 10:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Tig Notaro?

  Like, I don't know, gosh. What, oh, yeah.

• 10:13Mae Martin?

  Should we get to a question?

• 10:14Tig Notaro?

  Oh, sure, sure, sure. I was gonna riff a little longer about the awkwardness of um.

• 10:20Mae Martin?

  Oh, sorry.

• 10:21Tig Notaro?

  People, no, no.

• 10:23Mae Martin?

  Should we go, should we do a role play?

• 10:24Tig Notaro?

  No, it's time to move on. It is time to move on.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Hi, Handsoms, Pretty Little Ladies, Fortune and Tig, and Little Cowboys, May, Thomas, and we can't forget Biggie. This is Emily from Kansas City. And my question is, what is the most transformative work experience that you've ever had? Could be from before you were famous, it could be a project that you've worked on, but something where you look back and you were a significantly different person before and after that job?

• 10:55Mae Martin?

  Great question. Thank you.

• 10:57Tig Notaro?

  It really is. Um, you know, I, I have to say, the thing that really transformed me, um, and I talk about it all the time with Stephanie, uh, I used to struggle so much with organization. I lost my keys all the time. I um.

• 11:22Mae Martin?

  Dame, tell me, what's the solution?

• 11:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, I was, you know, I'd be in my apartment and the lights would go out and I'd be like, "What? What hap-" and I'd have a stack of bills, months old, piling up and I'd be like,

• 11:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I've had that happen, yeah.

• 11:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, even though I was like getting along and, you know, I would let things slide and I would lose things and I'd forget and I, all of that stuff. And I took a job when I first moved to Los Angeles at a production company. And it was, I had never been in an environment like that where I was responsible for things. I mean, listen, I was the least important person in the company, but in my own world, in my own existence, I had my own job and my little responsibilities

• 12:27Tig Notaro?

  and I had to do this. And look, I messed up many times, but it really made me learn how to,

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  I mean, as annoying as it is, but start living by a list, you know?

• 12:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:45Tig Notaro?

  And really using a calendar. Because with that job, anything that came up, anything I heard somebody say, and once again, I was not perfect at it, but it was the beginning of a shift in my organizational life. And I started-

• 13:08Mae Martin?

  And then it stuck after?

• 13:10Tig Notaro?

  It really did and it got better. Even down to just the tiniest thing. I started hanging, I started putting a hook by my back door for my keys. And anytime I walked in, I hung my keys and I still do it to this day. And it's, people see me as an organized person and I am now, but it is not my natural state and I've had to work so hard. And I now, yeah, I live by a list. I have a, and it's so, actually, it's fun because I'll have my ongoing list and as I

• 13:51Tig Notaro?

  finish things, I don't delete them. I just, and I keep it on a document. I take them, I cut and paste them on an ongoing, longer list of everything that's ever been done. And that way I can-

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  Wait, for real?

• 14:06Tig Notaro?

  Yes, I-

• 14:08Mae Martin?

  You have a list of everything you've done in your life?

• 14:11Tig Notaro?

  I mean, not that I've done in my life, but I would say, you know, for years, it's-

• 14:16Mae Martin?

  Really? Like grocery shop, get the car cleaned?

• 14:19Tig Notaro?

  I mean, maybe-

• 14:21Mae Martin?

  Or the bigger things?

• 14:22Tig Notaro?

  Maybe the bigger things that I have trouble remembering. And so I put it on my to-do list. Once I finish it, I do, because that way you can look back and see this really long list of things that you did do. And it's like, okay, I'm making progress. I'm moving forward, getting things done. And-

• 14:42Mae Martin?

  That's very cool.

• 14:43Tig Notaro?

  And it doesn't hurt that like my closest friend Beth is the most organized person and I've also been kind of peeking over at her desk of like, how does she do all this? How does Beth handle this? How does she? Yeah. But I would say that production job when I first started, when I worked for Sam Raimi, that director, his company. I mean, it was him and Rob Tappert was his producing partner. But anyway, Lucy Lawless's husband-

• 15:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, no way. So that was the, we'll never get a question from Lucy Lawless, let's be honest.

• 15:14Tig Notaro?

  I was just about to say, I have asked Lucy a few times and she said that she's gonna do it. I will follow up and really ride her-

• 15:23Mae Martin?

  You don't want to piss off Xena.

• 15:26Tig Notaro?

  I'm not scared of her.

• 15:26Mae Martin?

  Okay, so that was the most personal growth type job work experience, I think. Well, similarly, I think I, I looked after, I worked as a, kind of a behavioral therapist for autistic kids under five. And because my girlfriend at the time was doing that when we first moved to England, she was getting her master's degree and that was her area of expertise. So she got me work and she would go through the training and I was just, you know, like behavioral therapists is like, they're non-verbal kids. It's pretty, you know, low lift stuff. But I fell in love with

• 16:06Mae Martin?

  these two twins, actually, Robbie and Charlie. And it was, it was similar to you where it was like-

• 16:12Tig Notaro?

  And they were both autistic?

• 16:13Mae Martin?

  Yes, and they were really funny and really cute. And they were maybe three when I met them and then-

• 16:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 16:22Mae Martin?

  Four and a half or something when I stopped working with them. But man, they were great kids. And it was the first time I'd been, and I usually only had one at a time and then my girlfriend would take one of them. But first time I'd been responsible for kids like that. And then it just made me feel, yeah, like to be a safe person for a kid. And I was only 20, 22 or something.

• 16:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like 22, but I was, I felt changed by that. I was like, oh my God. And empower, like I saw a quantifiable improvement or that I could have an impact with these kids. One of them wouldn't go, "Who?" unless I was hugging him. It was real good. It was great. Yeah, which is, what an honor.

• 17:02Tig Notaro?

  And I'm sure there was probably a part of you with your struggles as a child. Like, I'm sure it feels great to give safety and security to children.

• 17:15Mae Martin?

  I feel like I just had a therapeutic breakthrough. I've never thought about that. But yeah, like I, yes, I don't think I've, I felt that kind of safety. Yeah. So it was, yeah, it was nice. So that was big. And then I worked for, and then I think Making Wayward, just because I thought I was gonna die. And like I, getting broken up with in the middle of it, I, I just was, I was like, this show's not gonna get made. I'm gonna have to go to an institution or something like, and then-

• 17:48Tig Notaro?

  Were you just, was it like you, when you say I couldn't finish it, were you think, were you like, "Oh, I'm a shell of a person" or "I am not here at all? I'm in pain"?

• 18:00Mae Martin?

  It was like, every, every night I thought, "Tomorrow I'm gonna just have to say, "I can't go in today." And I didn't miss a single day. And I was, and then I'd get there and the crew was so amazing.

• 18:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:12Mae Martin?

  And the rest of the cast. And I pulled it together. I had like a really bad week.

• 18:16Tig Notaro?

  That Toronto crew of people-

• 18:18Mae Martin?

  Toronto crews, yeah.

• 18:19Tig Notaro?

  Man, hello, Toronto crews in TV and film. Spectacular.

• 18:25Mae Martin?

  They were so sweet and, and yeah. And then so at the end of the experience and when it was all edited, I felt, I felt proud because it was the most response, it was the biggest budget thing I'd ever done and the most complex and so many moving parts. And so that, I think, I thought, I feel like I can get through anything now. Because that 25-year-old me would have been like, "Sorry, guys, I'm out."

• 18:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah. So that was good.

• 18:54Tig Notaro?

  It's wild how you step up and keep it moving in life.

• 19:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, when you, when you, when you have to.

• 19:03Tig Notaro?

  You gotta.

• 19:04Mae Martin?

  And I think it kind of helped my performance in a way. Not that I would ever want to do that again or encourage that, but I think it, you can see I'm pretty haggard.

• 19:15Tig Notaro?

  That's what's so insane about getting through those moments in life where it's like you wear it like a badge and you're so proud of yourself for getting through it. And then it's like, if I had to go through that again, how did I do that? How did I do that?

• 19:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm, I've done with learning big lessons. Like, let's just, can it be smooth? Let's hear Emily's answer, yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  Mine is that my first adult job after college was at a staffing company. And my exposure to just people who live below the poverty line, who struggle with basic needs getting met, completely changed everything. As I am from a very white Midwest evangelical Christian family. After that, I just had so much more compassion. I'm a very liberal Democrat and I'm super grateful for who that experience made me as a person now. I look forward to hearing your answers and I love you all so much.

• 20:19Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 20:20Mae Martin?

  Emily, that's amazing.

• 20:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:22Mae Martin?

  And isn't that crazy how, how that one eye-opening experience, the environment that you put yourself in, just completely changed your worldview and shattered your, yeah, bubble?

• 20:34Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 20:35Mae Martin?

  Very cool.

• 20:36Tig Notaro?

  Shed the skin.

• 20:38Mae Martin?

  October 2nd, what's going on with you, Tig?

• 20:42Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you know, just regular old tigging it up. I'm gonna be in Charleston, West Virginia. Get your tickets and come see me there. I have never performed there. I have never in my life performed there. Watch somebody reach out and say, "Yeah, you did." I'll be, I have an added show in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and an added show in Knoxville, Tennessee. And I will be in Chico, California. And then you can also catch me in Olympia, Washington. We added a show. I'll

• 21:21Tig Notaro?

  be in Fresno, Napa, I think Napa's sold out. Tarrytown, New York, New London, Connecticut, and Wilmington, Delaware. Go to tignotaro.com for all show information. And yeah.

• 21:39Mae Martin?

  I got nothing. Check out social media. But yeah, I'm busy writing and working away on a bunch of things. So just check out my music if you are into music.

• 21:51Tig Notaro?

  Will do.

• 21:52Mae Martin?

  And submit your questions, please. We love them. We love to hear them. And your advice requests, we're really qualified because our lives are perfect. Submit them at speakpipe.com/hanssmpod. And until next time.

• 22:09Tig Notaro?

  Keep it-

• 22:09Mae Martin?

  Keep it-

• 22:10Tig Notaro?

  Pretty handsome.

• 22:11Mae Martin?

  Handsome.

• 22:13Fortune Feimster?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolett. Email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media, @handsomepod.

• 22:29Speaker 05

  What a podcast! What a podcast!

• 22:35Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.