Pretty Little Episode #102

Mae and Tig get down and dirty and answer a very-shallow-not-important fashion question on a Trendy Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Hi, it's your friend Tig Notaro on a pretty little episode and I'm here with my co-host.

• 0:26Mae Martin?

  Mae Martin.

• 0:28Tig Notaro?

  Hello, Mae Martin. What's on your shirt?

• 0:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, Toronto Blue Jays.

• 0:34Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yes, yes, of course.

• 0:36Mae Martin?

  I'm a real fair weather fan. I know nothing about baseball, but it's a great shirt and my knowledge of them is like from the 90s when Joe Carter was our star batter.

• 0:49Tig Notaro?

  Joe Carter?

• 0:50Mae Martin?

  Joe Carter, what a guy. He was so hot and we won the World Series 92 and 93.

• 0:56Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 0:57Mae Martin?

  That's where I stop. Yeah. How are you Tig?

• 1:02Tig Notaro?

  I'm doing all right. You know, just vacationing.

• 1:07Mae Martin?

  You're switched off. Are you off grid? Or how's being off all social media?

• 1:12Tig Notaro?

  Oh, it's dynamic. Thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm off social media. I think that there's, I mean, my assistant still, you know, posts things, I think, on Facebook for my shows and there is some chatter about maybe I should have Instagram still where my assistant can post on there too.

• 1:34Mae Martin?

  Right, but you wouldn't have access?

• 1:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't even to this day, like, yeah. But I think I told you, it doesn't even cross my mind.

• 1:46Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 1:47Tig Notaro?

  It doesn't, I thought it was going to be like I'd have this burning curiosity.

• 1:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, or withdrawal period, or yeah.

• 1:57Tig Notaro?

  I know there were first few days where I had the habit of like, oh, let's see what people are up to. And yeah, but now it just doesn't even cross my mind. And, and I have, I don't carry my phone with me anymore. I just have an Apple Watch and I have such terrible eyesight, as you know, that the text is so small that I oftentimes, if I don't have my glasses on, I don't know what anybody has communicated to me. And then I just go about my life.

• 2:28Mae Martin?

  God, that's nice. Look, if it's super important, it'll get to you, you know, but yeah, to be able to just go, well, I got a text, I guess, and then move on.

• 2:36Tig Notaro?

  And there's a lot of terribly unimportant stuff that reaches me.

• 2:40Mae Martin?

  Terribly, yeah.

• 2:42Tig Notaro?

  Terribly unimportant. But yeah, I'm just trying to really get, and I think I'm doing it, like get very focused. I'm not a perfect person. I do want to always reiterate that. But I'm, you're kind of proud of myself.

• 3:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And, and it's like, none of us signed up for this life where we're reachable all the time. Like, it just slowly happened that, you know, you can be, and 24 hours a day, people know that you got your phone and they, you should be responding to them. But we didn't sign up for that. That's not how humans are meant to operate.

• 3:19Tig Notaro?

  I know. I'll sometimes get emails where it's like time sensitive and it's like, whoa, you're just assuming I checked my email.

• 3:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:28Tig Notaro?

  You know, like, like truly, it's just like robotically time sensitive. We need to hear from you by tomorrow. And I'm like, yeah, good God.

• 3:39Mae Martin?

  I know, I know. Well, you're, you're training your life to slow down to the pace that you want and to streamline.

• 3:49Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, I just don't want a lot of riffraff coming at me, you know, I want to have the close, important people in my life. I have different relationships with different people and we maintain them in different ways, whether it's as pen pals or we meet in person or we have a dinner regularly or whatever it is. And I just, I don't know, it feels, it feels really good. And again, I always want to mention, I could be TikTok Tig tomorrow. But so far, three months in, I'm really digging it, especially making the leap to an Apple Watch. And I have the kind where you don't have to carry your

• 4:31Tig Notaro?

  phone with you for the Apple Watch to work. I can just be without my phone.

• 4:37Mae Martin?

  That's great. I think, I mean, I got my brick going. The thing that you see, you put it on your fridge and when you tap it, it disables all your social media and stuff. And then to enable them again, you'd have to physically tap your fridge. So if you leave the house or something, you're, you just, you can get your texts and stuff, but that's it. So that actually has been pretty amazing and that is helping.

• 4:59Tig Notaro?

  And so how often and when do you decide and walk me through that?

• 5:03Mae Martin?

  Well, now I do it when I'm, if I'm going out for a walk or just going out to do errands, I'll, I'll tap. And then every night at 10:00 PM until 7:00 AM, it's, they're disabled. And I could tap my fridge and enable them, but that extra step, I've done it once or twice, but mostly I've been pretty good.

• 5:24Tig Notaro?

  Now, why 7:00 AM? Are you up at that hour?

• 5:27Mae Martin?

  Absolutely not. Well,

• 5:29Tig Notaro?

  I was gonna say, it seems a little early for this little cowboy.

• 5:32Mae Martin?

  I, if I'm at Parv's, or you know, or Parv's here, then, then I'm up. I'm having a lovely coffee. I'm chatting. But no, if I'm on my own, I'm, I'm nine, nine-ish.

• 5:43Tig Notaro?

  And so you and Parv are having like morning coffee time and connecting and?

• 5:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I do. I like the morning. We went to Idlewild, I got up at 5:30 or something. And I, yeah, I went in the sauna at this little hotel that we were at. So I think I could be a morning person in there somewhere. If I go to bed early enough, that's what it is. When I'm with Parv, we're falling asleep early. Cause we're spent, you know what I mean?

• 6:10Tig Notaro?

  Is that what it's about?

• 6:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that too, I guess.

• 6:13Tig Notaro?

  Is she just like an early riser anyway? Or is it all about her daughter?

• 6:18Mae Martin?

  She's an early sleeper. So if, but if it's the two of us and she, and Amma's with her dad, then yeah, we're in bed, we're in bed pretty early.

• 6:27Tig Notaro?

  Oh, so you're in bed early no matter what?

• 6:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 6:32Mae Martin?

  But on my own, I go to bed at, yeah, in the wee hours.

• 6:35Tig Notaro?

  Three.

• 6:36Mae Martin?

  Two, three, it's hell.

• 6:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's hell.

• 6:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I used to, I used to do that. And I thought like, oh, this is just my rhythm.

• 6:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:45Tig Notaro?

  But once you shift it, I think.

• 6:48Mae Martin?

  You know what? We were, you were just saying about like, you have certain relationships with people and you're trimming the, I really like the relationships in my life where it's like, like I have a friend in New York and it's just sort of every time I'm in New York, which is once a year, maybe twice a year, I'll message him and we'll go for lunch or go to a museum. And we're not keeping in touch in between, but yeah, I see him, yeah, every time I'm in New York or if I'm in London, you know, I like that.

• 7:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I mean, like, you know, I was just with Tony when I was in Aspen and, and he wrote me the nicest text about how like, just how connecting and fun it was to be together and just like having such a different kind of relationship where are we friends? Is it family? Is it, you know what I mean? Just being like, this is just great and we're both so thankful for it. And I don't talk to Tony every day, but when I'm in Colorado, you bet I'm going to see that guy, you know?

• 7:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 7:53Tig Notaro?

  And it's like, no time has passed and we just sit and talk for days on end.

• 8:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And I guess in the olden days, you might get a letter by mail and it might say, I'm going, traveling by horse and carriage, you know, in November I'll be coming through. And you know, I can spend a few days. Yeah, that's how it should be.

• 8:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. But yeah, I, I, I love all of my, you know, I've got childhood friends that we keep in touch and, and, but it's impossible with as busy as everyone is to like have constant, just maintaining every relationship, especially after you've moved so many times and had a million different jobs. And then what we do with all the different cities we go to, it's just, my kids have parents that.

• 8:47Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. And your kids' friends' parents.

• 8:50Tig Notaro?

  That's not what I meant. My kids have parents. They do. It's me and Stephanie, but their friends have parents and they're based, all of their sports teams have parents. It's just, it's like you open another box and another, it never ends, it never ends. And it's, it's great. But yeah, you gotta streamline things a little bit is what I'm finding.

• 9:10Mae Martin?

  Agreed.

• 9:10Tig Notaro?

  For my sanity.

• 9:12Mae Martin?

  Well, should we get to a question and see?

• 9:14Tig Notaro?

  I think we should. That's why we're here. It's why people are tuning in, May.

• 9:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I love when people tune in.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Hey, handsome fam. My name is Carson and I'm calling in from Carson City, Nevada. And my question is, I'm an electrician by trade and I was wondering if y'all had to pick a blue collar trade or profession as your, you know, career. I was wondering which one you guys would pick. I appreciate you guys. You guys keep me company out on the solar field out in the middle of the desert and plugging in panels. So yeah, appreciate you guys. Thank you.

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  Love, I love all of these questions.

• 9:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:54Tig Notaro?

  They're so good. They're so random. It's like, who the hell is going to ask me what blue collar job I want?

• 10:00Mae Martin?

  But, and plugging in solar fields out in the desert and, and then imagining Carson with headphones in, listening to handsome out there? That's cool.

• 10:09Tig Notaro?

  I mean, good old Carson from Carson City.

• 10:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, seriously.

• 10:18Mae Martin?

  That's very cool. And I really, the friends of mine I know who, who learned to trade young, just they set up their lives. It's really a smart thing to do.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  For sure.

• 10:31Mae Martin?

  I would do, well, I would, I would have said painting, but in my twenties, I was picking up odd jobs and someone hired me to paint a school gymnasium. And I sort of said, yeah, I could, I've, I've done things like that before and hadn't done it. And was so, listening to music and just, you know, really in the zone. And then stepping back and looking at it, it was such a mess. And like, not uniform at all. And I realized what a skill that is. So I would have said, I would have said that, but I wouldn't now. Maybe I would, I'd like to learn carpentry. That would be cool. That would be so, like the way Nick Offerman does.

• 11:07Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, yeah.

• 11:08Mae Martin?

  With his hands, like how meditative and zen would that be?

• 11:13Tig Notaro?

  Did I tell you about the painting job I had? I feel like I've mentioned it, where a friend of mine, she painted commercial sets and she hired me. And, and I was like, I've never done anything like this. And commercial sets being actual sets that you're on to film a commercial. And, and she was like, Oh, you don't need to know anything. I'll just, because she had a boss above her. And she was like, I'll just show you what you need to know as you need to know it. And I was like, great. And then one day I came into work and the big boss guy was like, Tig, mix your,

• 11:52Tig Notaro?

  mix your colors. And I'm sending you out to Anaheim to paint a Toyota dealership for a commercial. And I was like, oh, no. And not only did I-

• 12:04Mae Martin?

  Mix your colors?

• 12:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:05Mae Martin?

  What the fuck does that mean? Yeah.

• 12:07Tig Notaro?

  Well, I needed a certain, these different paint colors for the-

• 12:12Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 12:13Tig Notaro?

  For the production. I was like, oh, my gosh. And so my friend, her name Sharon, she, she, she was like, don't worry. She mixed my paints for me because the boss guy couldn't know that I didn't know what was happening. And so, so Sharon mixes the paints for me. I get in my car and I'm like, oh, my God, I don't know what's happening. And, and it was at this Toyota dealership where there was like this big round platform that tilts, you know, to show you the different angles of the car. And so I had to paint that, that circular platform.

• 12:56Mae Martin?

  I'm just picturing you like, okay, yep.

• 12:59Tig Notaro?

  I had one of those paint rollers and I'm painting it. Oh, my gosh. Did I reveal? I didn't know what I was doing. I'm painting and then I paint myself stuck in the middle of, yes. And so everybody is like, I'm the one that's supposed to know what's going on. And you could see everybody looking at me like, what the hell is she doing? And then I'm trapped on that circle. And then I also had to paint the Toyota sign with this texture where you put little, little tiny balls in the paint. So it had, like, once you paint the, the, the sign, it has this texture to it. I was so out of my league of what was supposed to happen. Anyway.

• 13:45Mae Martin?

  Did you get in trouble?

• 13:46Tig Notaro?

  No, I, I, I think people are on to me. But anyway, and I did some house painting with friends also. I don't think I'd do that. What I would do, I would like to drive one of those machines that has the big rolling-

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:07Tig Notaro?

  Where you just flatten out, I don't know what, you just flatten out the road.

• 14:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Tig Notaro?

  That seems very relaxing. Like, all right, everybody out of my way. Flap in the road.

• 14:19Mae Martin?

  That does seem really soothing.

• 14:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you can ride with me.

• 14:23Mae Martin?

  Your friend Sharon was so confidently like, it'll be fine. Then-

• 14:28Tig Notaro?

  Well, I think Sharon was a little nervous for me. But when I went off on my own, but she thought, I, we never planned or even considered that the boss guy would just grab me and send me off to Anaheim all by myself.

• 14:43Mae Martin?

  I'm picturing you painting yourself into a little circle like in a Looney Tunes cartoon.

• 14:48Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I was truly like, of course. And I don't know the answer of how to paint the platform. But-

• 14:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I don't know how you do that.

• 14:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I was, I was like, oh, no. But anyway, that's my answer, Carson from Carson City. And there you go.

• 15:10Mae Martin?

  See you on a steamroller would be pretty good.

• 15:12Tig Notaro?

  Steamroller, that's what it's called. Yeah, of course, I need a hat.

• 15:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:16Tig Notaro?

  I'm on a steamroller.

• 15:17Mae Martin?

  Should we hear another one?

• 15:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 15:20Speaker 00

  Hello, handsoms. This is Eva from Berkeley, California, asking a very shallow, not important question.

• 15:27Tig Notaro?

  Love it.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  Do you have, or have you ever had, a sartorial pet peeve? Something decidedly not handsome fashion-wise? For example, someone wearing white socks with black shoes, or when somebody's slip is showing, or wearing mismatching patterns or whatever?

• 15:45Mae Martin?

  Hmm. Yeah.

• 15:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I think the thing that comes up for me right away.

• 15:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what's coming up for you?

• 15:52Tig Notaro?

  I was never into the peekaboo. What are those things called?

• 16:01Mae Martin?

  Peekaboo?

• 16:02Tig Notaro?

  Like a underwear, like G-string kind of underwear?

• 16:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, where you can see the G-string and the low-rise jeans?

• 16:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't want the peekaboo.

• 16:13Mae Martin?

  See, I want, I want the peekaboo.

• 16:15Tig Notaro?

  No, I don't want the peekaboo. Because, you know why? It doesn't feel authen, it didn't feel authentic to me. Because it was always kind of worn in this way of like, oops, it's accidentally showing.

• 16:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're right. But it was definitely on purpose hiked up.

• 16:34Tig Notaro?

  Everybody was doing it. And I was like, I can't get on board with that. Is that the correct kind of answer to her question?

• 16:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's, there's a corniness to that. It's very Christina Aguilera in her, when she did the song Dirty.

• 16:50Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 16:51Mae Martin?

  Mine is turtlenecks. I, I, I like people's necks. I, I want to see people's necks. There's something about a turtleneck that, maybe I'm imagining how it feels on me. I hate the feeling. I think I have some sensory things. I, yeah, and I don't like a turtleneck. And so, and even on other people. And it's hard in relationships to express that. Because you don't want to be controlling, like, don't wear turtlenecks. Of course, wear them. But just so you know, I-

• 17:19Tig Notaro?

  Just not around me.

• 17:21Mae Martin?

  They stress me out. Yeah.

• 17:23Tig Notaro?

  I also, I, I like when, I like when women's hair, like, I like when it's down. I don't like when there's a lot of like, business going on in the hair.

• 17:35Mae Martin?

  What clips and curls?

• 17:37Tig Notaro?

  I like to be able to put my hands in, well, I'm talking romantically.

• 17:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like a sort of messy, down.

• 17:44Tig Notaro?

  I, just whatever. I just want to, if I put my hands in there, I just want free head hair.

• 17:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you don't want like a ballerina's like, gelled tight bun.

• 17:57Tig Notaro?

  I don't want it like slicked back. I don't want, I don't, I don't want, I just want to be able to get my hands in there. And no peekaboo ponties.

• 18:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, peekaboo ponties, turtlenecks, and no tight buns.

• 18:12Tig Notaro?

  No, my gosh, if somebody had a tight bun and peekaboo ponties, I would be, I'd be moving it along real fast.

• 18:21Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. But then, having said that, now I'm picturing it. And there's a version of it that does work for me. The tight bun and the peekaboo ponties and a turtleneck.

• 18:32Tig Notaro?

  Well, here's the problem. I love a turtleneck.

• 18:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, you do?

• 18:35Tig Notaro?

  I do.

• 18:36Mae Martin?

  Like a Diane Keaton?

• 18:38Tig Notaro?

  I mean-

• 18:40Mae Martin?

  Not necessarily her.

• 18:41Tig Notaro?

  I just mean for myself. I, I like, you can't have a turtleneck and peekaboo ponties, right? Because if you, if there's a chill in the air.

• 18:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Tig Notaro?

  Why would your peekaboo ponty, like, you know?

• 18:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:57Tig Notaro?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 18:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah. It's, yeah, why are you being so coy about your neck, but then you're showing your peekaboo ponties? Yeah.

• 19:04Tig Notaro?

  Peekaboo ponties. I need authenticity in, in your hair and in your ponties.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 19:14Tig Notaro?

  Not that a tight bun is inauthentic.

• 19:17Mae Martin?

  No, but, yeah, I know what you're saying. Should we hear what Eva's answer is?

• 19:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  For me, it would be when someone wears a big T-shirt that goes longer than their two short shorts. Then you can't even tell if they're wearing shorts. And that is distracting. Are they, aren't they? But here in Berkeley, fashion-wise, pretty much anything goes. You can wear whatever you want. And I really like that vibe. Thank you.

• 19:44Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 19:46Mae Martin?

  I like that. I do like that in, in LA, and same in Toronto, and there, there's a real mix of what people are wearing. And when I went to London, I noticed so many people were wearing black. It was like, I suddenly felt so, so uncool. Like, I had to get black jeans and and black winter jacket. Yeah, like turtleneck, black peekaboo ponties.

• 20:07Mae Martin?

  Tell my hair black, put in a tight bun. Yeah.

• 20:11Tig Notaro?

  Well, always, always a pleasure to hear what's a brewing in our listeners' minds.

• 20:18Mae Martin?

  It really is. I love it.

• 20:20Tig Notaro?

  It's all over the place.

• 20:22Mae Martin?

  It's all over the map.

• 20:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. I like it.

• 20:26Mae Martin?

  Then people from all different parts of the world. Love it. I don't really have anything coming up, but um, check out my music on Spotify, or come, check out my social media and come and see me in LA doing a show. What about you, Tig?

• 20:41Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'm glad you asked. I'm always a Dynasty Typewriter in Largo in Los Angeles, just squirreling around on stage. And then out in the world, you can see me in Rochester, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Olympia, Washington, Fresno, Napa. Go to tignotaro.com for all updated info. I'm doing minor markets for the most part right now. And I'm going to be adding dates and hitting major markets. And go to speakpipe.com/hansampod to submit your questions and advice requests. And until next

• 21:25Tig Notaro?

  time, what do you say, May? We should keep it?

• 21:28Mae Martin?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 21:32Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolett. Email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 21:48Mae Martin?

  What a podcast.

• 21:49Tig Notaro?

  What a podcast.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.