Brandi Carlile asks about Jesus

Handsome icon Brandi Carlile blesses Handsome with a question about a well known dude! Plus taxi makeouts, vajazzling "Tig," poots, foot massager fun and much more! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA https://www.ticketmaster.com/netflix-is-a-joke-presents-handsome-los-angeles-california-05-04-2026/event/0900642CE31BB7C3! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:25Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:48Mae Martin?

  Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm Fortune Beamster. I'm Mae Martin.

• 1:53Tig Notaro?

  And I am Tig Notaro.

• 1:55Mae Martin?

  Oh my God, that was the cleanest.

• 1:57Fortune Feimster?

  We've ever intro'd this podcast.

• 1:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I just went for it. I took a risk.

• 2:04Mae Martin?

  Oh, ready, because we're in the same place. Our energy's electric.

• 2:06Fortune Feimster?

  Fill the energy.

• 2:07Tig Notaro?

  You stuck the landing.

• 2:10Fortune Feimster?

  Are you not ready? Was it too soon? I was ready.

• 2:13Mae Martin?

  I was ready.

• 2:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I'm sweaty hands, sorry, because I drove here.

• 2:16Fortune Feimster?

  That's alright. I did see May pull up in their car.

• 2:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:20Tig Notaro?

  Why are your hands sweaty because you drove here?

• 2:23Fortune Feimster?

  May's still nervous about driving.

• 2:25Mae Martin?

  I hold tight. Two hands, ten and two.

• 2:27Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:27Mae Martin?

  I'm gripping.

• 2:28Tig Notaro?

  Like gripping.

• 2:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Gripping.

• 2:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I think so, yeah. I think so. Went in the car wash, though.

• 2:35Fortune Feimster?

  How was that?

• 2:36Tig Notaro?

  Did you mean to?

• 2:37Mae Martin?

  Uh, yeah, I think, yeah, I meant to.

• 2:39Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 2:39Mae Martin?

  And it was, I loved the whole experience.

• 2:42Tig Notaro?

  I love you too.

• 2:43Mae Martin?

  How the guys kind of tell you, okay, move forward and you drive.

• 2:46Tig Notaro?

  I can't stand that. How many told, I hate it.

• 2:48Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 2:49Mae Martin?

  I can imagine, depends on the guy. I had a nice guy who, we were joshing around a bit.

• 2:53Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 2:53Mae Martin?

  But you had a humorless.

• 2:54Tig Notaro?

  No, I'm not looking for a funny, uh.

• 2:58Mae Martin?

  You're not looking for a friend?

• 2:59Tig Notaro?

  No, I'm not. I'm just trying to park the car.

• 3:01Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 3:01Tig Notaro?

  And if somebody gets behind me and they're like, and I haven't asked them to.

• 3:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:07Tig Notaro?

  Like, get out of here, you know?

• 3:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:09Tig Notaro?

  When they just like, I guess it feels like mansplaining or something to me. I'm like, I'm all good, buddy.

• 3:16Fortune Feimster?

  Car-splaining.

• 3:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, car-splaining. Don't need it.

• 3:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Look at your bracelets. See, when we're together in the room, there's so much more stimuli.

• 3:23Tig Notaro?

  Well, well, whoa.

• 3:25Mae Martin?

  Okay, Fortune just started to touch bracelets.

• 3:28Tig Notaro?

  You know what I love about you?

• 3:30Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 3:30Tig Notaro?

  When your voice makes that.

• 3:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's, that's the sweet spot.

• 3:37Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 3:38Tig Notaro?

  Let me tell you about this. My, um, childhood friend Eliza, she made this for me. She makes bracelets. And, um, and she's Korean, so she has a little Korean, um, something on here.

• 3:52Mae Martin?

  Oh, is it like a?

• 3:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, there it is. I don't know what it says.

• 3:55Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 3:55Tig Notaro?

  Can you read Korean?

• 3:57Fortune Feimster?

  I cannot.

• 3:58Tig Notaro?

  Okay. And then.

• 3:59Mae Martin?

  I can, but I choose not to at the moment.

• 4:01Tig Notaro?

  You choose not to read Korean. And then this is from Sandro, who is the number two on Starfleet Academy. He's right under Holly Hunter. And he's the young, kind of rebellious kid on the show. That Holly's trying to, you know. You know. Anyway, so he got these for all the cast after season one.

• 4:25Fortune Feimster?

  Ew.

• 4:25Tig Notaro?

  And my, my character on Star Trek, my name is on here, Reno.

• 4:29Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 4:30Mae Martin?

  I liked it, yeah. I mean, maybe we need friendship bracelets.

• 4:34Tig Notaro?

  Are these friendship bracelets?

• 4:35Mae Martin?

  Well, if you got one for everyone on the crew, yeah, that's a friendship bracelet.

• 4:38Fortune Feimster?

  This is a coworker bracelet.

• 4:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh, wow. We need to get coworker bracelets.

• 4:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, true.

• 4:45Fortune Feimster?

  I think, are we, we're not friends?

• 4:49Tig Notaro?

  We're more than friends. Yeah.

• 4:51Fortune Feimster?

  I'm back.

• 4:51Tig Notaro?

  They're, they're.

• 4:52Fortune Feimster?

  I'm back.

• 4:52Mae Martin?

  She's back.

• 4:53Fortune Feimster?

  I'm back now. I knew you were gonna come around. Playing hard to get over there.

• 4:57Tig Notaro?

  I always come around.

• 4:59Fortune Feimster?

  I swear to God, Tig. Come on. Come on now.

• 5:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 5:05Fortune Feimster?

  Come on.

• 5:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 5:07Mae Martin?

  Hey, how happy I am.

• 5:09Tig Notaro?

  I know.

• 5:09Fortune Feimster?

  Did you guys notice I have makeup on?

• 5:11Tig Notaro?

  No. I don't have my glasses on.

• 5:13Mae Martin?

  I did notice that you have makeup on, yeah.

• 5:14Tig Notaro?

  Do you look hot?

• 5:15Fortune Feimster?

  Except for ones that are here. Um.

• 5:17Mae Martin?

  Very hot.

• 5:17Tig Notaro?

  She looks hot?

• 5:18Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 5:18Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you, Meg.

• 5:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:19Tig Notaro?

  I'm not even gonna put my glasses on, just tell me.

• 5:22Fortune Feimster?

  I just have makeup on.

• 5:24Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna put my glasses.

• 5:25Fortune Feimster?

  Put them on, take it all in. I was filming today.

• 5:29Mae Martin?

  It's really subtle, though. It's like, it's just bringing out your inner beauty.

• 5:33Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you.

• 5:36Fortune Feimster?

  My curls are tight.

• 5:38Mae Martin?

  Your curls are tight.

• 5:40Tig Notaro?

  What are we talking about?

• 5:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's tighter on here, if you know what I mean.

• 5:44Tig Notaro?

  I don't.

• 5:46Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not gonna.

• 5:48Tig Notaro?

  Something is time.

• 5:48Mae Martin?

  I'm not gonna go any further.

• 5:50Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 5:51Mae Martin?

  I'm wearing makeup, too.

• 5:52Tig Notaro?

  Are you?

• 5:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, always.

• 5:53Tig Notaro?

  Clear mascara?

• 5:55Mae Martin?

  No, not today.

• 5:56Tig Notaro?

  Just the usual boy brow.

• 5:58Fortune Feimster?

  Nikki Glaser heard the thing about us riffing on clear mascara and always laughs about us.

• 6:03Mae Martin?

  She did?

• 6:04Fortune Feimster?

  Talking about clear mascara.

• 6:06Mae Martin?

  That's crazy. It's crazy that people hear this podcast.

• 6:10Tig Notaro?

  Especially friends and family.

• 6:12Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 6:13Tig Notaro?

  Where they're like, oh, my gosh, I was listening this and that. And I'm like, you listen to my show?

• 6:19Mae Martin?

  I know. I know. I went on a walk around the rez with friend of the pod, Alison Brie.

• 6:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah? Oh, you did?

• 6:25Mae Martin?

  I always just, I never quite believed that she listens to it. It's almost like I want to test her, but she really does.

• 6:31Fortune Feimster?

  She'll text me occasionally with some reference to the pod.

• 6:35Mae Martin?

  She knows what's going on.

• 6:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, she's the best.

• 6:37Mae Martin?

  She's so funny. It was such a nice walk.

• 6:39Tig Notaro?

  If only she were in good shape, though.

• 6:41Mae Martin?

  If only she was prettier.

• 6:44Tig Notaro?

  If only she was attractive and in good shape.

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  They're a good-looking couple, those two.

• 6:49Mae Martin?

  They're a great-looking couple and really smart and writers and yeah, I'm into it.

• 6:54Tig Notaro?

  And they, yeah, they're collaborative.

• 6:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:58Mae Martin?

  I, uh...

• 7:00Tig Notaro?

  Yes?

• 7:00Mae Martin?

  Well, unrelated.

• 7:02Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, that's fine. We can pivot.

• 7:04Mae Martin?

  Okay, so, you know, I'm prepping to go on tour and part of what I'm thinking about is like, is magic real? And can I affect reality with my mind? So...

• 7:14Fortune Feimster?

  This is part of the stand-up?

• 7:15Mae Martin?

  Sort of the themes I'm thinking about.

• 7:17Fortune Feimster?

  Hilarious to me.

• 7:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:20Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know what? I don't know if you know this, this is true. Com- or magic

• 7:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:25Tig Notaro?

  is kind of moving in on comedy. Do you know this? In like popularity?

• 7:30Mae Martin?

  Oh, like close-up magic?

• 7:32Tig Notaro?

  Well, like magicians.

• 7:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, magicians.

• 7:34Tig Notaro?

  Magicians. That whole world is becoming gigantic.

• 7:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what does that signify, I wonder, about where we're at? We just want to be astounded, but I'm more like, like... Uh, spirituality or things that 200 years ago, they would have said were magic, but now we know it's science. Anyway, so I keep seeing those experiments with um, rice. I think I've talked about it. You put rice in two jars.

• 7:59Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 7:59Mae Martin?

  And then you write, "I love you" on one of the jars. You write, "I hate you" on the other jar. And every day you go to the one, "I love you so much," and then to the bad one, you're like, "I hate you. You're awful."

• 8:10Tig Notaro?

  And is this what you are doing at your house?

• 8:11Mae Martin?

  Every morning. And it's a really weird thing to do on, by yourself, but uh,

• 8:16Tig Notaro?

  Or even with people, I would say.

• 8:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And I've seen this online, tons of times, where the, the one that says, "I hate you," rots faster.

• 8:24Tig Notaro?

  Really?

• 8:25Mae Martin?

  Yes. Guys, guess what happened?

• 8:27Tig Notaro?

  What? You ate it.

• 8:29Fortune Feimster?

  You had a beef bowl.

• 8:31Mae Martin?

  The one I say, "I love you" to,

• 8:34Tig Notaro?

  Said, "I love you" back?

• 8:35Mae Martin?

  It's rotting. So what is, is my love rotten? Or am I, did I smother it?

• 8:40Fortune Feimster?

  Is it rotten?

• 8:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Do you normally say rotten?

• 8:44Mae Martin?

  I don't know why I said it like that.

• 8:46Tig Notaro?

  Well, your accents all over the place.

• 8:49Mae Martin?

  I don't think I would normally say rotten, but.

• 8:51Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think your love's rotten. I think you got some bad rice.

• 8:54Mae Martin?

  I mean, it's significantly, no, but it was the same batch of rice.

• 8:57Tig Notaro?

  So the one you, the, the,

• 8:59Mae Martin?

  Thank you for digging into this with me.

• 9:01Tig Notaro?

  The "I love you" rice is rotten. And this is, The "I hate you" rice is,

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  Perfectly pristine and white.

• 9:08Fortune Feimster?

  It's cooked?

• 9:09Mae Martin?

  It's cooked white rice.

• 9:10Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 9:10Mae Martin?

  And I'm not saying like one of, I mean, the one I say, "I love you" to is black mold. And the other one, perfectly pristine.

• 9:18Fortune Feimster?

  This is weird. At what point do you toss it?

• 9:21Mae Martin?

  Soon. I think it's time, actually.

• 9:24Tig Notaro?

  Maybe that would break up with your rice.

• 9:26Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe the "I love you" is hearing you say, "I hate you." You're doing it too close to each other?

• 9:31Mae Martin?

  That's possible, but then how come the "I hate you" one's not?

• 9:34Fortune Feimster?

  Cause it's a narcissist and it only hears that you love it.

• 9:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I don't know what the hell's going on, because I've proved something, but not what I was expecting to prove. And I feel, yeah, worried about what my focus is doing to that rice.

• 9:48Tig Notaro?

  Is that, what part of it is the hypothesis? I remember that word.

• 9:52Mae Martin?

  The hypothesis is that your intention can affect reality. And I've read all about this rice experiment where like-

• 10:01Tig Notaro?

  And this is before you do the experiment. You have a hypothesis.

• 10:04Mae Martin?

  And then you try to prove the hypothesis, right or wrong. And, yeah, like, you know how if you're kind to plants, they flourish?

• 10:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:11Mae Martin?

  So it's that kind of, and that's scientifically proven.

• 10:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Mae Martin?

  If you sing to them, you talk to them.

• 10:14Fortune Feimster?

  I flourish in kindness as well.

• 10:16Mae Martin?

  Don't we all?

• 10:17Fortune Feimster?

  Some, do we? Does everyone flourish in kindness?

• 10:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, people flourish in kindness.

• 10:22Fortune Feimster?

  Some people like to be ermasques.

• 10:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:26Tig Notaro?

  Some aren't really into that.

• 10:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but, but-

• 10:29Fortune Feimster?

  Like, you know how they say that girls like a bad boy?

• 10:33Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 10:33Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no.

• 10:34Mae Martin?

  Like, they don't flourish in kindness.

• 10:35Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever liked a bad boy?

• 10:37Fortune Feimster?

  Me?

• 10:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:40Fortune Feimster?

  Me? Little me.

• 10:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, Fortune, imagine in front of you, there's nice boy and bad boy. They're both handsome.

• 10:48Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I don't like, I don't like boys, so I guess for fun, I'd go with the bad boy. Why not spice it up, you know?

• 10:55Tig Notaro?

  That sounds fun.

• 10:55Mae Martin?

  Like that guy in that show you watch, who knows how to put it down.

• 10:58Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. Tell me lies.

• 11:00Mae Martin?

  Tell me lies.

• 11:00Fortune Feimster?

  He's a bad boy.

• 11:01Tig Notaro?

  I, I think I had a little bit of a thing for some bad girls.

• 11:06Mae Martin?

  Bad girls?

• 11:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, we've all dated a bad girl.

• 11:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we all like bad girls.

• 11:10Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I don't want that. I don't want a bad girl.

• 11:13Tig Notaro?

  No, no, no. Me neither.

• 11:15Mae Martin?

  What do we mean by bad?

• 11:16Fortune Feimster?

  Like-

• 11:16Tig Notaro?

  Just people that, um-

• 11:19Fortune Feimster?

  Chaos inducing.

• 11:20Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 11:20Mae Martin?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 11:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:23Mae Martin?

  I like a bit of it in a safe container.

• 11:26Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh. With rice?

• 11:27Mae Martin?

  With rice.

• 11:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you like a sprinkle of it.

• 11:29Mae Martin?

  I like a sprinkle of, like, unpredictability.

• 11:31Tig Notaro?

  Wait, have you made out anymore with the person you made out in the car with?

• 11:37Mae Martin?

  With that person, I have not.

• 11:38Fortune Feimster?

  Did I know about this?

• 11:39Tig Notaro?

  No, yes, you did.

• 11:40Fortune Feimster?

  I did.

• 11:41Tig Notaro?

  Remember, I was let down because I thought it was gonna be a salacious.

• 11:44Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's right, that's right.

• 11:45Tig Notaro?

  But you guys thought I was let down.

• 11:47Fortune Feimster?

  That was a one and done?

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  I did do, I did have an experience where I kissed someone in my car and I was parked.

• 11:53Fortune Feimster?

  You love it, you love this car now.

• 11:55Mae Martin?

  I love this car.

• 11:56Tig Notaro?

  You need to go to a drive-in movie.

• 11:58Mae Martin?

  That's all I wanted to do.

• 11:59Fortune Feimster?

  I love a drive-in movie.

• 12:01Tig Notaro?

  Can we be in the back giggling?

• 12:03Mae Martin?

  All I want is you guys in my car, yeah. Yeah, that would be great. But so I was parked and my, but my foot was on the brake.

• 12:11Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 12:11Mae Martin?

  But then I, we kiss and I guess I should have had a neutral.

• 12:15Fortune Feimster?

  Need to have it in park.

• 12:16Mae Martin?

  Or park, yeah, so then.

• 12:18Fortune Feimster?

  Let's go with park.

• 12:19Mae Martin?

  My foot came off the brake and my.

• 12:21Fortune Feimster?

  Because neutral, you will, you will just roll.

• 12:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:25Mae Martin?

  Right. Yeah, so it was a jump scare for sure. My foot came off the brake and then the car went, almost into the car in front of me.

• 12:32Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god, that would be a terrible.

• 12:34Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I wish that was the story.

• 12:36Fortune Feimster?

  That would have been funny.

• 12:37Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 12:38Fortune Feimster?

  Did you still get the kiss?

• 12:39Mae Martin?

  Got the kiss.

• 12:40Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  Can I tell you a fun make-out story?

• 12:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 12:43Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 12:44Fortune Feimster?

  Girl.

• 12:45Tig Notaro?

  Girl, settle in and let me tell you what was so fun. Okay, so there was this girl, you know, we had this thing going for months and, but at the very beginning of it, I told her, I was like, you know what I've always wanted to do is just get a taxi and just drive around town and make out.

• 13:10Fortune Feimster?

  Love this.

• 13:10Tig Notaro?

  And she was like, let's do it.

• 13:13Fortune Feimster?

  I love this.

• 13:16Tig Notaro?

  So we hail a cab and we are macking down.

• 13:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 13:21Mae Martin?

  That's a risk, you don't know.

• 13:22Fortune Feimster?

  But not a show for the driver, because they do watch.

• 13:25Tig Notaro?

  I don't care.

• 13:26Fortune Feimster?

  I know, I'm just telling you, they do, they are watching in the room.

• 13:29Tig Notaro?

  Well, how do you know?

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  Because Fortune makes out like that.

• 13:32Fortune Feimster?

  I've made out in taxis, man, from the day.

• 13:35Tig Notaro?

  Fortune used to be a cab driver.

• 13:38Fortune Feimster?

  Look at my cabin. And they do watch. Let me tell you. Trust me, they watch. And they love.

• 13:45Tig Notaro?

  Love it, okay? No, I just thought it was one of the, you know, when you first are meeting and dating or hooking up with somebody, it's like, let's do this. Okay, so get a cab, we're driving around Los Angeles, and that's what I told the guy. I was like, just anywhere. Oh, wow.

• 14:03Mae Martin?

  You want to just drive us around?

• 14:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, just drive us around. Okay, so then we pull up and...

• 14:13Fortune Feimster?

  To his mother's house?

• 14:16Tig Notaro?

  We pull up to some store, she wanted to go in and get something. She's an actress, okay? When she gets out of the car, he goes, "Can I ask you something?" And I said, "Sure." And he said, "Who is..." He said, "That woman looks very familiar. Who is she?" And I said, "I have no idea." After we've been driving around for like an hour.

• 14:42Tig Notaro?

  That's the end of the story.

• 14:43Fortune Feimster?

  Also awkward.

• 14:44Tig Notaro?

  You do?

• 14:46Fortune Feimster?

  I don't want to say it.

• 14:47Tig Notaro?

  Well, you can say it, but bleep it out.

• 14:50Fortune Feimster?

  I knew it.

• 14:51Tig Notaro?

  How did you know?

• 14:52Fortune Feimster?

  Smart.

• 14:53Mae Martin?

  I don't know who that is, even.

• 14:56Fortune Feimster?

  But I knew that y'all had dated or whatever you call it.

• 15:00Mae Martin?

  So funny to have the awkward, just you and the taxi driver in the car though as well, like actress, she gets out and you've just been fully...

• 15:07Fortune Feimster?

  But also, yeah, you don't want them being like, "I recognize any either." You know what I mean? You're like, that's where you want to be anonymous.

• 15:15Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's why it was fun to just be like, "Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who she is."

• 15:18Mae Martin?

  Was the beer running? Like, how much was this bill at the end of the...

• 15:20Tig Notaro?

  I don't remember. Here's another fun thing.

• 15:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:23Tig Notaro?

  This is a...

• 15:26Tig Notaro?

  This is a really fun thing that I could see you enjoying.

• 15:31Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 15:32Tig Notaro?

  I asked this girl out, who, we had already been seeing each other, but on a particular date.

• 15:40Tig Notaro?

  To a hotel room.

• 15:42Mae Martin?

  I'm in.

• 15:42Tig Notaro?

  Only during the day to order room service and watch a movie.

• 15:46Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's good.

• 15:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 15:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:49Mae Martin?

  And so, did you have to pay for the night?

• 15:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:52Mae Martin?

  Or you found like a, yeah, and you said, we'll just go there for the day and hang out?

• 15:55Tig Notaro?

  Let's just go get a hotel room, watch a movie and order food room service. It was so, it was so fun.

• 16:04Mae Martin?

  That's fun. That's really fun.

• 16:05Tig Notaro?

  So fun.

• 16:06Fortune Feimster?

  I've had the, the room for the, just the, I've rented it for the night, but we just used it during the day and used the spa, like the steam room.

• 16:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:16Fortune Feimster?

  And that stuff, and then used it for the room for other things.

• 16:19Tig Notaro?

  For what was that?

• 16:20Fortune Feimster?

  Other things.

• 16:22Tig Notaro?

  Such as?

• 16:23Fortune Feimster?

  And then left.

• 16:23Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 16:24Fortune Feimster?

  Didn't stay the night.

• 16:25Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever, uh, in a hotel room?

• 16:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:27Tig Notaro?

  I realized this a couple of nights ago when I was in Chicago. I see these all the time in the hotel room. Never used one.

• 16:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:35Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever used a shower cap?

• 16:37Fortune Feimster?

  I sure have not, but.

• 16:39Mae Martin?

  Well, now I know something I really wanna see, which is all of us in shower caps. Like our, like bonnets, like little bonnets.

• 16:46Tig Notaro?

  I forgot about our bonnets.

• 16:47Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, someone gave us those in Toronto.

• 16:50Mae Martin?

  I don't think I've used one, except when you're getting your hair dyed, sometimes they put like a plastic bag.

• 16:55Tig Notaro?

  Right, but like to get into the shower. Who the hell, like they are in every hu- uh, hotel room.

• 17:02Fortune Feimster?

  There must be enough people that don't wanna get their hair wet, that this is still in demand.

• 17:06Tig Notaro?

  Well, I'm gonna start asking around because.

• 17:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, do.

• 17:10Fortune Feimster?

  Let's ask our listeners, do any of you?

• 17:13Mae Martin?

  Wear.

• 17:13Fortune Feimster?

  Wear shower caps?

• 17:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:15Fortune Feimster?

  Please let us know in our social media comments.

• 17:17Tig Notaro?

  This is the last hotel thing I'll say.

• 17:19Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, give it to us.

• 17:21Tig Notaro?

  Do you notice that hair dryers are mysteriously hard to find?

• 17:27Mae Martin?

  In.

• 17:28Tig Notaro?

  It's like, where is it? Is it in the drawer always? Is it in the?

• 17:32Mae Martin?

  This better be your new hour.

• 17:35Fortune Feimster?

  It's called where is it?

• 17:36Mae Martin?

  All observational comment about hotel rooms.

• 17:39Tig Notaro?

  My new special, where is it?

• 17:44Mae Martin?

  You're right, there's no kind of standard. It's always under the sink.

• 17:47Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 17:48Mae Martin?

  Sometimes it's in a little bag hanging on the door.

• 17:50Fortune Feimster?

  I do like it when hotels have switched from ironing boards and irons to the little hand steamers.

• 17:57Tig Notaro?

  Not me.

• 17:57Fortune Feimster?

  You prefer the iron?

• 17:58Mae Martin?

  You like an iron, really?

• 18:00Tig Notaro?

  I do, it's a two against one.

• 18:01Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, what are you?

• 18:02Mae Martin?

  Steamer.

• 18:02Fortune Feimster?

  You're a steamer too?

• 18:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:04Tig Notaro?

  And you know Ricky Lynnholm?

• 18:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Tig Notaro?

  She has a really funny bit that I'm like, God, I wish I thought. I mean, it's so funny. Just that like, how long have ironing boards been around? And they can't fix it to where it doesn't go, "Yeeeee!" Like when you open it? I mean, truly, how is that the case?

• 18:25Fortune Feimster?

  Well, the steamers do get dangerous. I, you know, sometimes have dumb dumb moments. I'm not thinking and I have...

• 18:32Tig Notaro?

  Not our fortune. Don't talk about my friend like that.

• 18:35Fortune Feimster?

  I have been like, oh, I missed a spot and did the steamer and it just burnt.

• 18:41Tig Notaro?

  Your cooter.

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  My cooter. It burnt my cooter.

• 18:44Tig Notaro?

  Why are you always drying your crotch?

• 18:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah, why are you steaming your cooter?

• 18:47Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know, like...

• 18:47Tig Notaro?

  Steamy crotch.

• 18:48Fortune Feimster?

  It was like a wet spot, not, not what, you don't get your head out of the gutter. And then I tried to steam it out and just burnt my cooter.

• 18:59Tig Notaro?

  Crispy fried cooter.

• 19:00Fortune Feimster?

  Crispy fried cooter. So those things do get very hot, but I do prefer them to the, it's iron, it's a whole thing.

• 19:07Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever ironed your cooter?

• 19:09Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, no.

• 19:10Tig Notaro?

  Give it a whirl.

• 19:12Fortune Feimster?

  That sounds painful.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  I feel like vajazzle used to be the butt of every joke and stand-up and that was the thing. People were putting like gems on there and maybe you have to iron them on.

• 19:21Fortune Feimster?

  You know, like Swarovski crystals or whatever.

• 19:24Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 19:24Mae Martin?

  But it kind of went away.

• 19:26Fortune Feimster?

  You know what I'm talking about, right, girl?

• 19:28Tig Notaro?

  Girl, I don't.

• 19:29Fortune Feimster?

  Girl, just like put a little crystal, like your name or something, Tig.

• 19:34Tig Notaro?

  People put that on their crotch?

• 19:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:36Fortune Feimster?

  That was a thing at one point. I don't know if it's still a thing now. Wouldn't it find out Tig, Tig's name down there though?

• 19:44Tig Notaro?

  It's small, but it'd fit.

• 19:46Mae Martin?

  On Tig or on us?

• 19:47Fortune Feimster?

  I don't guess, I think it should be on Tig.

• 19:49Tig Notaro?

  I wonder if I understand what's happening right now.

• 19:51Mae Martin?

  It's like you glue gems to your pubic area.

• 19:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, like it's decorated.

• 19:55Tig Notaro?

  So you have no hair there? You like rip the hair out or the gems are on your hair?

• 19:59Mae Martin?

  Hopefully you don't rip it out.

• 20:00Fortune Feimster?

  I've never seen one in person, have you?

• 20:02Mae Martin?

  No, never.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  A cooter?

• 20:03Fortune Feimster?

  Let's not get crazy here. I'm talking about, um.

• 20:07Mae Martin?

  Vajazzle.

• 20:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, the vajazzle.

• 20:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it just used to be.

• 20:11Tig Notaro?

  Never heard of this.

• 20:12Mae Martin?

  Are we guzzling?

• 20:13Fortune Feimster?

  I don't want to see it. I wasn't showing you a picture of mine.

• 20:18Tig Notaro?

  Of your vajazzle.

• 20:19Fortune Feimster?

  Just here, let me get out my PowerPoint presentation.

• 20:23Tig Notaro?

  You need to iron that thing.

• 20:26Mae Martin?

  How can they have, uh, shower caps in every room and then not toothpaste in every room? I hate having to call down.

• 20:31Fortune Feimster?

  They never have toothpaste.

• 20:32Tig Notaro?

  And they hate that you're not bringing your own toothpaste.

• 20:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 20:35Fortune Feimster?

  That would be expensive for them to, uh, supply that.

• 20:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 20:39Tig Notaro?

  But sometimes they'll supply those tiny, tiny off-brand where it just says mint, um, paste.

• 20:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, mint paste.

• 20:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, mint paste.

• 20:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:50Fortune Feimster?

  All the Q-tips you could want.

• 20:52Mae Martin?

  I love a Q-tip. I know you're not supposed to, but.

• 20:55Fortune Feimster?

  I love them too.

• 20:56Mae Martin?

  Do you?

• 20:56Fortune Feimster?

  I want to buy that thing on Amazon that like pushes the water in your ear.

• 21:02Mae Martin?

  Don't do it.

• 21:03Tig Notaro?

  You want water pushed into your ear?

• 21:04Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think that's bad, is it?

• 21:06Mae Martin?

  I, I've been the victim of, I, I have all these gadgets. Like, I have bought every gadget.

• 21:11Fortune Feimster?

  We know your Amazon wishlist is.

• 21:13Mae Martin?

  I'm not going to use Amazon anymore. I'm turning a corner. I'm like, this is one thing I can do is.

• 21:18Tig Notaro?

  Boycott.

• 21:18Mae Martin?

  Boycott Amazon as much as possible.

• 21:20Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 21:22Tig Notaro?

  I am boycotting Amazon.

• 21:24Fortune Feimster?

  Unless I'm a big bear and I need a synthesizer.

• 21:26Mae Martin?

  Uh, no.

• 21:27Fortune Feimster?

  Clear mascara.

• 21:28Mae Martin?

  I am really trying.

• 21:30Fortune Feimster?

  Hot dogs.

• 21:30Mae Martin?

  And targeting those. I'm trying, I'm trying, but, um, well, do we have, is now the time? Thomas, should I?

• 21:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, wait.

• 21:38Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 21:38Mae Martin?

  Well.

• 21:39Tig Notaro?

  What's happening?

• 21:39Mae Martin?

  So, we were talking about gadgets. You're talking about this ear thing.

• 21:42Tig Notaro?

  You're pregnant.

• 21:43Mae Martin?

  I am with child. No, so, um, I don't know if you noticed like a different piece of furniture in here that might, yeah.

• 21:52Fortune Feimster?

  The?

• 21:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, this round, um, footstool.

• 21:54Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 21:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but it's not actually a footstool, guys.

• 21:58Fortune Feimster?

  What is it?

• 21:58Mae Martin?

  It's one of my new gadgets.

• 22:00Fortune Feimster?

  This is a gadget? Y'all, we didn't know anything about this.

• 22:03Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, is this the time?

• 22:05Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, oh my god.

• 22:09Mae Martin?

  So we can massage her feet.

• 22:11Fortune Feimster?

  That is hilarious.

• 22:12Tig Notaro?

  Of course we want.

• 22:13Fortune Feimster?

  It's like an alien.

• 22:15Tig Notaro?

  May's ass is on camera.

• 22:16Fortune Feimster?

  But is it, is it also a part-time, um, stool?

• 22:21Mae Martin?

  Part-time stool, full-time massage, whatever you want, so.

• 22:24Fortune Feimster?

  Tig, Tig's kicking off her shoes.

• 22:27Tig Notaro?

  Do I have to take my socks off?

• 22:28Fortune Feimster?

  Onto me. I think you should leave your socks on for hygiene purposes.

• 22:33Tig Notaro?

  You think I'm not clean?

• 22:34Fortune Feimster?

  No, I'm sure you are.

• 22:35Mae Martin?

  It's pretty intense.

• 22:36Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a germaphobe.

• 22:37Mae Martin?

  I want to see whatever.

• 22:38Tig Notaro?

  Ow.

• 22:39Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 22:41Mae Martin?

  Are you serious?

• 22:42Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 22:43Mae Martin?

  I have it on the strongest.

• 22:44Tig Notaro?

  Ow.

• 22:45Mae Martin?

  I'll put it on the, I'll put it down.

• 22:46Fortune Feimster?

  Oh wait, no, no, no. Ow!

• 22:48Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 22:49Mae Martin?

  My god, wait.

• 22:50Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, are you, are you wanting this torture? Do you want May to fix it?

• 22:55Tig Notaro?

  Have you tried this, Tom?

• 22:56Mae Martin?

  I don't like it.

• 22:57Fortune Feimster?

  This is hell.

• 22:58Mae Martin?

  You don't like that?

• 22:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 23:00Fortune Feimster?

  This is hell.

• 23:01Tig Notaro?

  This is hell. Oh my god.

• 23:06Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, have you done this?

• 23:08Mae Martin?

  I'm loving it.

• 23:09Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, is it on the highest thing?

• 23:10Mae Martin?

  No, it's on the lowest now.

• 23:11Fortune Feimster?

  I just got here. I don't know.

• 23:13Tig Notaro?

  I'm asking, I think May, I used a little. Now it's vibrating.

• 23:17Mae Martin?

  It'll go through a cycle of different things, so it's like a.

• 23:20Fortune Feimster?

  This is hell.

• 23:21Mae Martin?

  It's, it's pretty intense, right?

• 23:24Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, I was just screaming.

• 23:25Mae Martin?

  Squeezes, rolls, heats up. That's the lowest.

• 23:29Tig Notaro?

  Feels like a rodent is nibbling on my toes.

• 23:31Fortune Feimster?

  How did you land on this?

• 23:33Mae Martin?

  Uh.

• 23:33Fortune Feimster?

  You were, you were scrolling through your.

• 23:35Tig Notaro?

  Amazon?

• 23:35Fortune Feimster?

  Big bear.

• 23:36Mae Martin?

  No, it was.

• 23:37Tig Notaro?

  May looked me in the eye.

• 23:38Fortune Feimster?

  Where did it come from?

• 23:39Mae Martin?

  No, it actually is called Chill Chair. It's a com- private company.

• 23:43Fortune Feimster?

  Chill Chair?

• 23:44Mae Martin?

  It was advertised to me and I said, yeah.

• 23:46Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 23:47Mae Martin?

  Always trying to relax.

• 23:48Tig Notaro?

  Advertised to you.

• 23:49Fortune Feimster?

  And you love this?

• 23:50Tig Notaro?

  Oh, on social media.

• 23:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:51Fortune Feimster?

  And you love this?

• 23:52Mae Martin?

  I'm, well, I'm kind of on the fence. I can't decide if it's good or bad for me. Um, but it does heat up. It's, it's warm.

• 24:00Fortune Feimster?

  This is so funny.

• 24:02Mae Martin?

  And I just wanted like to give you guys a glimpse into what my evenings are like. Like my evenings are, I got that on, I got sometimes like a vibrating face.

• 24:10Fortune Feimster?

  Wow, you're like a vibration.

• 24:12Tig Notaro?

  And, um, invisible mascara.

• 24:15Mae Martin?

  Invisible mascara and then I have like an ab workout machine. No. I've got this mask on.

• 24:20Tig Notaro?

  They like shakes your ass.

• 24:20Fortune Feimster?

  Vibrating your entire body.

• 24:22Mae Martin?

  No, I'm going like this, doing crunches. So I'm watching TV and I'm like, ah.

• 24:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, what is your goal? What are we, what is this all?

• 24:29Mae Martin?

  To maximize my time.

• 24:31Fortune Feimster?

  Your time of rest needs to have vibrations?

• 24:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'll, I'll take whatever help I can get.

• 24:37Fortune Feimster?

  Is it starting to become comfortable?

• 24:39Tig Notaro?

  It's not.

• 24:39Mae Martin?

  You're very tense up there just sitting there. Your whole body is so tense. I can see you kind of jiggling.

• 24:46Tig Notaro?

  My feet are relaxed right now.

• 24:48Fortune Feimster?

  If you had titties, this would be real fun.

• 24:50Tig Notaro?

  No, I have dumpster titties and we all know this, but.

• 24:53Fortune Feimster?

  I'd really enjoy this vibration if you had some tiggle bitties.

• 24:58Mae Martin?

  Fortune, are you, are you keen to get in there?

• 25:00Fortune Feimster?

  Why not?

• 25:01Tig Notaro?

  Well, it's settled down now. No, no, no, put your little hooves back on.

• 25:04Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, now take doesn't want to share.

• 25:06Tig Notaro?

  Well, cause now it's settled down and it just feels good.

• 25:08Mae Martin?

  Now you like it? Okay.

• 25:10Tig Notaro?

  I need to get an ab machine.

• 25:12Fortune Feimster?

  Well, now I'm just here with one shoe on and one shoe off.

• 25:14Mae Martin?

  I'm not sponsored by this.

• 25:15Tig Notaro?

  But my shoe looks like you have it on, doesn't it?

• 25:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it sure does.

• 25:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 25:21Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I guess I'll just sit here like this with one shoe on, one shoe off.

• 25:25Tig Notaro?

  Fine by me.

• 25:26Mae Martin?

  Do you, Jenks, you both said fine by me at the same time.

• 25:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeltsin.

• 25:30Mae Martin?

  Yeltsin.

• 25:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeltsin. I still do that near daily.

• 25:35Mae Martin?

  So I was looking into the lyrics of that song, like, to see if I could memorize them and it's actually kind of problematic.

• 25:41Tig Notaro?

  It is?

• 25:42Mae Martin?

  And then, and it's all about like how he wants to date Asian women and.

• 25:47Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 25:48Mae Martin?

  Well, there's all these, all these weird things in it. And then my, I was saying that to my friend. I was like, can you believe that innocent song? Actually, if you slow it down? And she's like, well, the band's called Bear Naked Ladies. Like, what do you expect? And I was like, oh, yeah.

• 26:00Tig Notaro?

  Hmm.

• 26:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I guess.

• 26:01Fortune Feimster?

  That's a good point.

• 26:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:02Tig Notaro?

  They just seem.

• 26:03Fortune Feimster?

  Right under our noses.

• 26:04Tig Notaro?

  They just seem fun because they sing.

• 26:07Mae Martin?

  If I had a million dollars.

• 26:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeltsin.

• 26:12Tig Notaro?

  Okay, this is what I'm talking about. Ow! Oh, it's back to the abusive side. I gotta stop.

• 26:18Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay, okay, okay.

• 26:19Tig Notaro?

  Stop.

• 26:20Fortune Feimster?

  Alright.

• 26:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy. Allison Janney broke my ribs.

• 26:24Mae Martin?

  And I

• 26:24Tig Notaro?

  Mae Martin broke my toes.

• 26:26Fortune Feimster?

  Right, I'm taking my shoes off. I'm getting ready for whatever this ride is.

• 26:29Tig Notaro?

  Ah, it's a good one.

• 26:30Fortune Feimster?

  Is it gonna fit my big feet?

• 26:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:33Tig Notaro?

  Of course.

• 26:33Mae Martin?

  One size fits all.

• 26:34Fortune Feimster?

  Cause what size are you?

• 26:35Mae Martin?

  Big.

• 26:36Fortune Feimster?

  Like what?

• 26:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I got pretty big feet.

• 26:38Tig Notaro?

  Big, medium, and large.

• 26:39Mae Martin?

  Uh, I'm seven mens.

• 26:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I'm, uh, nine and a half mens.

• 26:45Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 26:45Fortune Feimster?

  That's right, Mae.

• 26:46Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 26:47Tig Notaro?

  I'm just a pretty little lady.

• 26:48Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, ooh.

• 26:50Tig Notaro?

  Is it har- is it hurting?

• 26:52Fortune Feimster?

  It's, it's tight. Oh! Totally smashes. I told you! It smashes your feet. I told you!

• 27:00Mae Martin?

  Ow!

• 27:01Fortune Feimster?

  What? No, no, I wanna go through the pain. I wanna go through the cycle.

• 27:05Tig Notaro?

  Girl.

• 27:06Fortune Feimster?

  Girl.

• 27:07Tig Notaro?

  We need to have a slumber party.

• 27:08Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 27:09Fortune Feimster?

  Girl!

• 27:09Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 27:10Fortune Feimster?

  It just smashes them, the, the front part quite a lot in the beginning.

• 27:15Tig Notaro?

  Do you remember when I yelled, "This is hell"?

• 27:18Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 27:18Tig Notaro?

  Does that make sense now?

• 27:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it does.

• 27:20Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 27:21Mae Martin?

  Now I'm like, I might

• 27:22Tig Notaro?

  And I don't have size 10 mens feet.

• 27:23Fortune Feimster?

  But now it's calming down and

• 27:25Tig Notaro?

  Told ya.

• 27:25Fortune Feimster?

  There's some comfort here.

• 27:27Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:27Mae Martin?

  Like, would you ever have this on set or something in your?

• 27:30Tig Notaro?

  In my spacesuit?

• 27:31Mae Martin?

  Your spacesuit, yeah.

• 27:32Fortune Feimster?

  I think you

• 27:33Tig Notaro?

  That looks pretty spacey, actually.

• 27:34Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe you have to... Why am I jiggling more than you were jiggling?

• 27:38Tig Notaro?

  You got titties.

• 27:42Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't that the best word? Tits and titties, I love it. And cooter.

• 27:47Tig Notaro?

  Milkers.

• 27:47Fortune Feimster?

  Cause there's, there's moments of this that are very relaxing.

• 27:52Mae Martin?

  And then it'll surprise you with the sharp pain.

• 27:54Tig Notaro?

  And then it be- it's like a bad relationship.

• 27:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. That's what I was talking about with the bad boys.

• 27:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Tig Notaro?

  This is, this should be called the bad boy.

• 28:01Fortune Feimster?

  The bad boy. Cause he, he's real nice to you and takes you on a date and then he doesn't come home one night.

• 28:07Mae Martin?

  And you're like, when it's good, it's good.

• 28:08Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. It sounded like I pooted.

• 28:12Fortune Feimster?

  Pooted? You know, like, well, you know.

• 28:15Mae Martin?

  I've never heard pooted.

• 28:16Fortune Feimster?

  You've never heard pooted?

• 28:17Mae Martin?

  No, I've heard tooted.

• 28:18Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I, it's a poot because it's that, it's that like.

• 28:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:23Fortune Feimster?

  That sound.

• 28:24Tig Notaro?

  I think that you're the only person alive that has made that sound.

• 28:29Fortune Feimster?

  That's a poot.

• 28:30Tig Notaro?

  That's like at the end of the day.

• 28:31Fortune Feimster?

  That's a poot.

• 28:32Mae Martin?

  I've, I've probably said this, but I, I dated this woman who would, in the morning, I always noticed that she was like, she was lying on me and then she, her hands would kind of go behind her and then, and then sometimes I'd hear like, and then I realized.

• 28:50Fortune Feimster?

  Was she taking her butt cheeks apart?

• 28:53Mae Martin?

  She was in the morning.

• 28:55Fortune Feimster?

  What are we?

• 28:57Mae Martin?

  Every morning.

• 28:58Fortune Feimster?

  Talking about.

• 28:59Mae Martin?

  She didn't want to make a fart sound or wake me up.

• 29:02Fortune Feimster?

  But she wanted you to talk about it on a podcast in a few years?

• 29:06Mae Martin?

  She was sneakily just pulling her own butt cheeks apart.

• 29:10Fortune Feimster?

  That's a poot.

• 29:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 29:12Fortune Feimster?

  That's a poot.

• 29:14Mae Martin?

  I'd never even thought of that method.

• 29:16Fortune Feimster?

  I can't believe she was laying on you and spread her butt cheeks apart.

• 29:21Tig Notaro?

  Fortune knew right away, was she spread?

• 29:24Fortune Feimster?

  Well, how's when you reach your hands back there?

• 29:27Mae Martin?

  But what I said to her was like.

• 29:28Tig Notaro?

  I reached my hands. I told you.

• 29:31Mae Martin?

  Oh, it's, it's.

• 29:32Tig Notaro?

  That's the bad boy.

• 29:33Mae Martin?

  The bad boy's squeezing your little, your footsies.

• 29:36Fortune Feimster?

  He's yelling at me right now.

• 29:38Mae Martin?

  I told her I was, I'd be kind of more into it if she'd just do the fart and get the comedy sound.

• 29:43Fortune Feimster?

  You told her that? Oh, yeah, we talked about it.

• 29:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we talked about it.

• 29:45Tig Notaro?

  Did you say pardon me, but did you just spread your cheeks?

• 29:47Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 29:48Tig Notaro?

  Did you really?

• 29:48Mae Martin?

  She was mortified.

• 29:50Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know if I had the courage to bring that up.

• 29:52Tig Notaro?

  That is a courageous thing you did, May.

• 29:54Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 29:55Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 29:57Tig Notaro?

  I don't know if courage is the word I would use.

• 30:00Mae Martin?

  I said I'd be more into it if you were confident enough to just, and so that's what started happening then, after I said that, then every morning.

• 30:07Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, she let it rip.

• 30:08Mae Martin?

  I would feel her body tense and I'd start laughing right away.

• 30:11Tig Notaro?

  That was the start of the day whistle is what she was doing.

• 30:14Fortune Feimster?

  And she always, and she always woke up on top of you?

• 30:17Mae Martin?

  She would lie, always sleep the whole night on my chest like that, yeah.

• 30:21Fortune Feimster?

  The whole night?

• 30:22Tig Notaro?

  I know why.

• 30:22Mae Martin?

  It was actually the best sleeps ever.

• 30:24Fortune Feimster?

  Really? I would, that, I would get hot.

• 30:26Mae Martin?

  But isn't that weird that I was kind of turned on by the fact that she was confident enough to just fart at me? I don't have a fart fetish.

• 30:31Tig Notaro?

  You have, sounds like you do have something.

• 30:34Mae Martin?

  I don't, I swear.

• 30:35Tig Notaro?

  I have news. You do.

• 30:37Fortune Feimster?

  You don't not have one. How about that?

• 30:39Mae Martin?

  I have a fetish for people who are confident enough to use a fart as a punchline. Cause then I go, you must, you know, I like you a lot.

• 30:48Tig Notaro?

  I told you about my friend's mother who would make eye contact.

• 30:52Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. Iconic.

• 30:54Tig Notaro?

  And she would just be like, are you going to stay for dinner? Excuse me.

• 30:59Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god. I don't want that.

• 31:01Mae Martin?

  But she wasn't doing it as a joke. She just couldn't control it.

• 31:03Tig Notaro?

  No, she was like a drill sergeant slash, uh, running, or what is it? Like a linebacker?

• 31:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:10Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 31:11Fortune Feimster?

  I think I want this off my feet.

• 31:13Mae Martin?

  You want this to stop now?

• 31:14Fortune Feimster?

  But I liked it.

• 31:15Mae Martin?

  Thanks.

• 31:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:16Fortune Feimster?

  I appreciate this experience.

• 31:18Mae Martin?

  I feel like I'm on Shark Tank.

• 31:19Fortune Feimster?

  Thomas, help me.

• 31:22Tig Notaro?

  Now you want to try it?

• 31:23Fortune Feimster?

  And then, and then we should get to our question.

• 31:25Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, we have to.

• 31:25Fortune Feimster?

  As much as I would love to talk about tooting.

• 31:30Fortune Feimster?

  Thomas, help!

• 31:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh. When is our?

• 31:33Fortune Feimster?

  Was this on the listening point?

• 31:35Tig Notaro?

  No, but we can mark it off.

• 31:41Tig Notaro?

  When is our slumber party?

• 31:43Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god. Say the word.

• 31:46Fortune Feimster?

  Doesn't it feel like we're at one now?

• 31:48Tig Notaro?

  I mean, wait, are you doing that with your legs or is it doing that?

• 31:52Mae Martin?

  No, it's doing that for me.

• 31:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh. Does it not hurt?

• 31:56Mae Martin?

  It's doing the squeezing thing.

• 31:57Fortune Feimster?

  And now we're all just shoeless.

• 31:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh, but you're a tough guy, I guess.

• 32:00Fortune Feimster?

  This feels like a slumber party.

• 32:02Mae Martin?

  Maybe you guys were at the wrong angle.

• 32:04Tig Notaro?

  Don't blame this on us.

• 32:05Fortune Feimster?

  All right, we're gonna get to our question. You continue doing what you want and, um, Tig's gonna tell us who our question asker is.

• 32:12Mae Martin?

  It's too distracting. I'm too. I can't do this, but it's good.

• 32:17Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. This is very exciting because this, our question asker today just sang America the Beautiful at the Super Bowl.

• 32:25Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 32:25Fortune Feimster?

  Not too long ago.

• 32:27Tig Notaro?

  Kid Rock?

• 32:32Fortune Feimster?

  Can you imagine if we had him on the show?

• 32:43Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, today's question asker is a highly celebrated singer, songwriter, producer, and activist who has won 11 Grammy Awards and two Emmy Awards. She co-wrote and performed the original song "Salt Then Sour Then Sweet" for the Oscar-nominated documentary "Come See Me in the Good Light."

• 33:03Mae Martin?

  Heard of it?

• 33:04Fortune Feimster?

  Huh?

• 33:05Mae Martin?

  Heard of it?

• 33:05Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. Brandy Carlisle is asking today's question.

• 33:12Speaker 00

  Hey handsome pod, it's Brandy Carlisle.

• 33:16Fortune Feimster?

  Hi Brandy.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  So I have a question for you because I've been hearing a lot about this lately and I've been really wondering how this lands on queer people. How do you feel when you hear the word "Jesus"? What does it make you feel like when you hear that name? Do you feel like, um, triggered? Or curious? Inspired? Concerned? Distrustful? How does the word "Jesus" make you feel in these times that we're living through?

• 33:50Fortune Feimster?

  Look at Brandy all dressed up. Do you think this was right after the Super Bowl?

• 33:53Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 33:54Mae Martin?

  Like she ran offstage?

• 33:56Fortune Feimster?

  She's like, "I must go fill my handsome question."

• 34:00Tig Notaro?

  She looks very handsome.

• 34:02Mae Martin?

  She looks very handsome.

• 34:03Fortune Feimster?

  Brandy knows how to rock a suit.

• 34:05Tig Notaro?

  Brandy knows how to rock it.

• 34:07Fortune Feimster?

  Brandy does rock it indeed. She's super talented.

• 34:11Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:12Mae Martin?

  I feel like I've had a different, as like, Canadian, very atheist family, like, I've had a different experience than growing up in a smaller town in America. It must have more weight for you, but I feel lucky that I like Jesus. And I was taught about religion, like that they were all different sides of the same coin with really nice stories and I got really into Jesus as a guy. But, so it doesn't have that, I don't feel triggered, like, because it hasn't been used against me directly or I haven't had to like, debate it with people. Like, I've just sort of avoided all that. Do you guys have more weight?

• 34:51Fortune Feimster?

  Well, because do you guys, does Canada have the like...

• 34:55Tig Notaro?

  Born again?

• 34:56Fortune Feimster?

  Well, the heart, like, the religious friction that we have.

• 35:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but not to the same degree, I think. Yeah, like our... Yeah, I think less so. There's definitely the religious.

• 35:11Fortune Feimster?

  Sex of it.

• 35:11Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 35:12Tig Notaro?

  You know what I was gonna say, this is so, such a minor little moment in her question, but I, it's something that I hadn't put my finger on until this moment, hearing her say it, when she said, "The times that we're living through feels very different than the times we're living in."

• 35:36Mae Martin?

  Oh, you're right.

• 35:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and I, and I just wonder if that was a conscious choice, because I hear people say, "These times we're living through," and it's just, I was like, wow, that's so, like, I hear, I hear people say that. And yeah, it feels very, because times that you're living in feels more positive and,

• 35:57Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 35:58Tig Notaro?

  That's what I.

• 35:59Mae Martin?

  I almost felt the opposite, like, living through is like, we're gonna get out of this.

• 36:03Fortune Feimster?

  That's what I kind of would assume, too.

• 36:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, whereas living in is like, we're in it.

• 36:08Tig Notaro?

  Interesting.

• 36:10Fortune Feimster?

  Cause yeah.

• 36:10Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, I changed my mind just then when you suggested that.

• 36:13Fortune Feimster?

  Cause right if you go through something,

• 36:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 36:16Fortune Feimster?

  You're gonna be the other side of it.

• 36:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But I know what you mean, that it sounds almost like injure.

• 36:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 36:21Mae Martin?

  Like, these times we're enduring, but.

• 36:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, anyway, I know that wasn't the main point of it, but it was still an interesting, like, oh,

• 36:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 36:28Tig Notaro?

  Got me thinking. I was raised Catholic, but I was not raised in a house where God and Jesus were really mentioned. We went to college, didn't do that either. Went to church until, like, through elementary school. And then it was kind of like, the jig is up, nobody, my brother and I were like, we're not into this. And, yeah, there wasn't like a Bible in our house, I don't think, and I never saw one.

• 37:04Mae Martin?

  I think depending on how you learn about Him, like, He, Jesus as a figure is so.

• 37:12Mae Martin?

  rebellious, he was so critical of religious leaders who were hypocritical, like, like, everything about him is great, supportive women, like, you know, friends with sex workers and stuff, like, he was such a badass, so I'm, I'm lucky I was taught about him as a figure, in the same way I would learn like stories about Siddhartha or something.

• 37:34Fortune Feimster?

  You were learned about him as a chill guy.

• 37:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 37:37Fortune Feimster?

  But then a lot of people-

• 37:38Mae Martin?

  Or a big rebel.

• 37:39Fortune Feimster?

  Take it, you know, to that more, you know, Helen Brimstone type of situation with, like, punishment of not living, uh, on the righteous path, you know?

• 37:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that feels like a more recent, um-

• 37:55Fortune Feimster?

  Shift?

• 37:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that I'm learning about or meeting people or realizing I know people that have now flipped over into that world where I, it doesn't feel like a part of my upbringing.

• 38:10Mae Martin?

  It's like the irony of Jesus being used as this means of, like, discrimination and control and, you know, when that's not what he stood for at all.

• 38:22Fortune Feimster?

  Religion's been used to start wars from-

• 38:24Mae Martin?

  Of course.

• 38:26Fortune Feimster?

  Forever.

• 38:26Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 38:27Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, because, yeah, it is a form of control.

• 38:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 38:30Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I think it depends on people's relationship with the church or Jesus as to how they feel about-

• 38:37Tig Notaro?

  Their interpretation.

• 38:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so like, you know, if you were to meet someone who came from, like, say, like, a Mormon background or whatever, like, and they're, say they're gay, like, you know, they're not welcomed in that church anymore and they, you know, could potentially, and I'm just using that as a broad example, but, you know, not accepted by family members anymore, then your relationship to Jesus might be a negative one because-

• 39:02Mae Martin?

  Totally.

• 39:02Fortune Feimster?

  Then suddenly you feel like you're not, uh, accepted anymore. I'm, I mean, being from the South, like, in the small town that I grew up in, you know, there's a church everywhere. It's such a part of the culture, such a part of, like, the social aspect of the South, like, you, like, go to church functions, people at church, uh, check on you, like, there's really great things about it where it's like a fabric of society there where it's, uh- Uh, I can see like

• 39:34Mae Martin?

  There's community.

• 39:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, many positive things like that. My mom still is very much involved in the United Methodist Church. Um, so in that regard, I, I am always, I'm like, I will even say to my mom, are you going to church? Like, because it's such a positive thing for her.

• 39:50Mae Martin?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:51Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and I'll go with her, you know, a couple of times a year, but I, as I got older, my, I mean, as someone who grew up going to church every Sunday, as I got older, I decided that wasn't for me anymore.

• 40:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:02Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but I've kept my relationship, uh, to be, um, still open to the concept of Jesus and God. And, and I, I have not like shunned that. I still see value in that and like

• 40:18Mae Martin?

  You obviously like.

• 40:19Fortune Feimster?

  A belief system and a morality type of way. I think I, I treat it in the, the like, treat others as you want to be treated. The basics of, of it, the like, you know, try to be a good person, uh, those things.

• 40:34Mae Martin?

  It seems so universal that we try to answer these questions and are reaching for something and then we've, yeah, these are meant to be like moral signposts that help us navigate things instead of like literal doc, you know?

• 40:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 40:49Mae Martin?

  And doctrine and definitely

• 40:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 40:51Mae Martin?

  Not like organized to benefit. I mean, in, given, in light of everything, I'm, I'm really feeling like, well, that's not even, but I feel insane these days.

• 41:04Fortune Feimster?

  Well, when it's used as a weapon to be like, you're okay and you're not.

• 41:08Mae Martin?

  Well, also like.

• 41:09Fortune Feimster?

  That's where it becomes an issue where, because then it's being used as like, well, we have decided we're okay, but you're not. Well, who decided that and why? Like, you know?

• 41:20Mae Martin?

  I just am like, where do we go from here? Well, we've always kind of known like the people who are most outspokenly anti-gay and fire and brimstone. You read the headlines and they're arrested six months later for sex crimes, right?

• 41:34Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, that does, not everyone, but that does happen.

• 41:36Mae Martin?

  It happens a lot. Yeah. And then now it's like, like I just watched this amazing movie about sex work and stuff. And I was thinking after like, we've been, the, the. For centuries, it's like, this is perversion and things. And then now we're seeing like the true perversion at the top, like the, I mean, it's like too much to fathom. So it's like now that we, the hypocrisy is like laid out, where do we go from here? What's gonna happen? Is anything gonna happen? Is anyone gonna get arrested?

• 42:08Fortune Feimster?

  Are you talking about the Epstein files?

• 42:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's all I think about. That's all I talk about. I'm like, we can't even, because it's just too fucking insane.

• 42:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we have to save that for Epstein file episode.

• 42:21Tig Notaro?

  I remember when, when I was, um, living in Austin, I mean, it was so long ago, like 35 years ago, like so long ago. You were barely alive. It's insane. But, um, my friend and I live next door to this very Christian family. And they worked at the church. They had three kids. And, um, we became really close with them. And they were, I would say, the first, I was, I was in my early twenties, but they were, aside from my family members that are

• 43:02Tig Notaro?

  religious and, and different people here, there.

• 43:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 43:08Tig Notaro?

  These were Christians that led with Christianity.

• 43:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 43:12Tig Notaro?

  Like, like with.

• 43:13Mae Martin?

  Jesus's actual teachings of like.

• 43:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And they talk about it. And they, it wasn't just like something they did quietly.

• 43:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 43:22Tig Notaro?

  But I loved them.

• 43:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 43:24Tig Notaro?

  So much. And they knew that we were gay. And, um, and their kids would come over, like, two years old to like seven years old and just like knock on our door and want to come hang out in our kitchen while we were home, just relaxing and whatever. And I just, I never got any weird vibe from them. Other, not even other than, I just never got any weird vibe. Um, and I was.

• 43:54Tig Notaro?

  I was just, I just loved them and I loved what they represented and I was good with them talking about Jesus because there was just nothing seemingly off. And then no, there's no I was just thinking, I also, my first girlfriend's parents, maybe, I don't know if I've shared this with you, but I'm very close with them.

• 44:16Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah, and you went to see the Pope and then?

• 44:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and I brought a rosary home for them and they're like parents to me in a way.

• 44:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:24Tig Notaro?

  And they're Catholic and they very much lead with that. But unbelievable examples of loving, open. They have different views, but I mean, Stephanie and I, they live in small town, Ohio, Farmville, and we will go in the summertime and I'll bring my wife and children out and stay with them in their house, in their little, little home. I love them so, so deeply.

• 45:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm definitely not saying all Christian people are.

• 45:05Tig Notaro?

  Oh, no, absolutely. No, I didn't take it that way at all. I'm just saying like those

• 45:09Mae Martin?

  In your experience?

• 45:10Tig Notaro?

  In my experience, the people that like really are leading with it and talking about it, and it's not like all the time talking about it, but it's, it's, it's kind of like me being vegan. It's like, oh yeah, you're gonna know I'm vegan. But I just really appreciate their relationship with God or Jesus and their church and they're actually out in the world doing good.

• 45:40Mae Martin?

  That's great.

• 45:40Tig Notaro?

  And really hands-on in the community and I

• 45:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they're not a monolith. Yeah, like religious people. It's just, yeah.

• 45:52Tig Notaro?

  I think when I hear Jesus, my point is like, I'm open.

• 45:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:57Tig Notaro?

  Who's behind that?

• 45:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm not tr- I'm a big Jesus fan.

• 46:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm not triggered by that at all. I think it also boils down to how you treat each other as far as like, I know so many religious people and I have great respect for, you know, people that I've met where religion is their entire life. If they're accepting of me and they're kind to me, I give them that same respect in return of like, good, great. You know, it's amazing that you have these beliefs and you're this, that's a big part of your life. It doesn't bother me at all. It's when someone, it's when someone's like, you're going to hell. And I'm like, based on what?

• 46:39Mae Martin?

  It's a weird barrier to intimacy, even if they're like, hey, I love you, you know, I have deep empathy for you. Hope God saves your soul. You know, I believe you're going to hell, but like, then that's hard. How do you, pretty, it's like,

• 46:53Tig Notaro?

  That's where they need to keep that to themselves. It's like, if you think I'm going to hell, just pipe down and let's have a nice dinner.

• 47:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 47:01Mae Martin?

  I mean, like we were talking about the, um, the, about magic and intention and stuff and I, I definitely think prayer could be powerful and I'm like, yeah, I'm loving it. Like Meg Stalter is, is Christian and is being outspoken. I think she organized a prayer group of people to, like, I'm into that kind of thing where, yeah, where it's actually living Jesus's teachings.

• 47:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And I mean, when I go into, you know, I poke fun with my mom when I go to church, like on Christmas Eve with her. I'm like, oh, I hope I'm, you know, allowed in here or whatever. It's, I've always been welcomed in there, in this particular church. And, you know, there's something really beautiful about these, some of these old churches when I'm in Europe. I love walking into these churches. You can feel this, you know, energy, this, it's very hopeful. I think that's what I look towards. Uh, religion, the positive part of religion and believing in a God or Jesus or whoever is, is.

• 48:02Fortune Feimster?

  Feeling hopeful, I like, I'm, I'm talking to someone, uh, be it the, whatever your beliefs, the universe, God of like, you know, asking for help or

• 48:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:12Fortune Feimster?

  You know, looking over for people, like when people are like, I'm praying for your mom, that means something to me, you know?

• 48:18Mae Martin?

  It's crazy, like, oh, sorry.

• 48:20Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 48:21Mae Martin?

  The way she's said it, like in these times we're living through, it's like, America specifically, it seems like it's just been manipulated for nefarious purposes. So you do have like, quite, like, we're lucky, we don't encounter the hate every day in our lives and stuff, but it is like a increasingly super powerful religious riot that is really scary.

• 48:42Fortune Feimster?

  I definitely don't like when it gets, uh, intermingled with, like, government, you know? I don't, I do very much firmly believe in the separation of church and state.

• 48:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, totally.

• 48:54Fortune Feimster?

  I don't like when those two co-mingle.

• 48:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I, I, um, I was gonna say, when I go to Mississippi and my family, they're all churchgoers, but their vibe is, um, you know, like I, Stephanie and I got married in Mississippi in the small town at my cousin's house and, um, and their whole vibe down there is like, "All right, we're gonna get up, we're gonna go to church, and then after that, let's go, uh, let's go down to the yacht club and let's hat, and then, you know, and it's just like, uh, get up, go run five miles, go to church, do this and that, and then, you know, um, ask God for a beautiful day, and, and that's kind of just the vibe, I feel like, that I grew up in.

• 49:40Mae Martin?

  That's nice.

• 49:41Tig Notaro?

  Um, that doesn't feel, and even my other cousin, he was a part of the Catholic Church, and he married, he officiated our wedding, and he got kicked out of the church, knowing he likely would, but he said it was worth it.

• 49:56Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow.

• 49:57Tig Notaro?

  Because he said that they got it wrong.

• 50:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 50:01Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 50:02Mae Martin?

  It really did.

• 50:03Tig Notaro?

  So, anyway.

• 50:05Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I'd be, I'd be curious to hear Brandy's answer. I know she has a, a background with church. She's talked about it in her book, and then...

• 50:12Tig Notaro?

  Let's hear it.

• 50:13Speaker 00

  I'm curious, because when I wrote my book, I wrote a lot about being raised, you know, within the faith and religious and coming up in church and all of the, um, problems that I had being out of the closet, uh, and...

• 50:29Speaker 00

  You know, issues with hell, trauma, and acceptance. And, um, and then I also wrote about the parts of the faith that really still work for me. And about the way I personally feel about Jesus. And I was totally overwhelmed by the amount of LGBTQ people that came to me and said they want to talk about this more. And, um, that there are still parts of this, of the Christian faith and their childhood religion that are with them, whether they like it or not, um, in good ways and in horrible ways. And, um, I think it's a really interesting conversation to have, especially at this point in life where, you know, we're safe and we aren't subject to the church anymore

• 51:12Speaker 00

  in the way that maybe we were when we were young. But, um, that there are parts of the teachings of Jesus that I think still live in so many queer people in, in such a complicated way. That, um, I'm fascinated by the conversation and, and, uh, thank you for your answers.

• 51:33Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 51:34Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you. I think it just comes down to wanting to be accepted, right? I mean, just wanting to feel like you're, uh, welcome and safe.

• 51:42Mae Martin?

  And safe, yeah. And wanting to be safe. Cause that's the thing, it's like with all those abortion bans and stuff, it's like, are we safe? I don't know. So, I don't know. We gotta be vigilant about that. Cause like you're saying, the separation of church and state is so crucial.

• 51:57Fortune Feimster?

  The line is getting more and more blurred.

• 51:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:00Fortune Feimster?

  For sure.

• 52:01Mae Martin?

  I feel like I wanna sit and have a glass of wine.

• 52:04Tig Notaro?

  I'm very curious, yeah, I'm curious how Brandy and her wife, you know, they have their little family unit.

• 52:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:12Tig Notaro?

  And, and they've got their kids.

• 52:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:14Tig Notaro?

  And, um, what, what part does religion play

• 52:20Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 52:20Tig Notaro?

  within the dynamic of their family?

• 52:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:24Fortune Feimster?

  Well.

• 52:25Tig Notaro?

  I guess we'll never know.

• 52:26Fortune Feimster?

  We'll never know.

• 52:27Tig Notaro?

  So.

• 52:28Fortune Feimster?

  We'll never know.

• 52:29Mae Martin?

  You know, Jesus had siblings. I didn't know that, but imagine.

• 52:32Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's for another podcast.

• 52:34Tig Notaro?

  Sibling, step sibling.

• 52:34Fortune Feimster?

  In the meantime, what a podcast.

• 52:37Mae Martin?

  What a podcast we went from.

• 52:39Tig Notaro?

  Gosh darn podcast.

• 52:40Mae Martin?

  But massage.

• 52:41Tig Notaro?

  We got massages, May.

• 52:43Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 52:44Mae Martin?

  Subjected you to this.

• 52:46Tig Notaro?

  Separated their cheeks.

• 52:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. We're all on tour. Go see us on tour.

• 52:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, go see us on tour, please.

• 52:54Tig Notaro?

  Tignotaro.com.

• 52:55Mae Martin?

  I leave in two days, I guess.

• 52:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yes. Go check out May on this bus tour.

• 53:00Tig Notaro?

  You need to pack.

• 53:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:01Fortune Feimster?

  I'll see you in San Diego soon.

• 53:03Tig Notaro?

  Also, if you haven't seen Come See Me in the Good Light, you should watch it. Apple TV. If you don't have Apple, you can get a free subscription. Sign up for a month, watch the movie, and then do whatever you want to do after that. Also, Starfleet Academy with Holly Hunter and Paul Giamatti. And May 4th, we will be at the Wiltern, the three of us live here in Los Angeles with our guests, Brittany Snow and Malin Ackerman. And really, get your tickets now. It's gonna be a good one. Also, I will be performing as part of the Stand Up for Equality Show, March 4th

• 53:45Tig Notaro?

  in Los Angeles with Mateo Lane, Margaret Cho. It's going to be a really, really fun show.

• 53:54Fortune Feimster?

  All right. Well, until next time. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolett. Email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 54:15Tig Notaro?

  What a podcast.

• 54:16Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 54:21Speaker 04

  That was a HeadGum Podcast. What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 54:26Fortune Feimster?

  And Hannah Simone.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog-

• 54:48Fortune Feimster?

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 55:12Fortune Feimster?

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.