Samara Weaving asks about unhinged moments

Samara Weaving (Ready Or Not) asks Handsome to share their most unhinged moments, and the hosts (OK, one host) deliver in R-Rated fashion! Skip this one if the kids are in the car! Plus, a message from Alanis, Mae running around, and a major hot tub update from Fortune. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepod and Hulu https://www.hulu.com/series/b583d0bc-eeb0-4560-8b2b-5c8ae0248a19?play=false&utm_source=shared_linkThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:36Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time.

• 1:20Mae Martin?

  Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today at squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:49Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers.

• 1:51Mae Martin?

  Woo! Woo! Woo! Welcome to the Handsome Podcast.

• 2:05Tig Notaro?

  We're only three years into this.

• 2:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's it.

• 2:10Tig Notaro?

  That doesn't, that doesn't make sense, does it?

• 2:12Fortune Feimster?

  That's Tig Notaro over there.

• 2:14Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yes, I'm Tig Notaro. And that's Fortune Feimster over there.

• 2:19Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm Mae Martin.

• 2:21Tig Notaro?

  Yep, you're there too.

• 2:22Fortune Feimster?

  He's like, I got this. I'll handle this on my own. I'll take this. Hi, you guys.

• 2:29Tig Notaro?

  Hi.

• 2:30Fortune Feimster?

  How are you? I'm so good. I'm on the road with my drive-through headset.

• 2:35Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes.

• 2:37Fortune Feimster?

  Can I take your order?

• 2:39Mae Martin?

  You're still in Toronto, Tig?

• 2:40Tig Notaro?

  No, I am, I did a show in Kalispell, Montana.

• 2:46Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, it's pretty up there.

• 2:48Tig Notaro?

  It's really pretty and it's also really bright out until very late. Yeah, when I got out of my show at nine o'clock, it was

• 3:00Fortune Feimster?

  Birds chirping.

• 3:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it was just bright as the day and I was so confused and I was so tired. And, um, but yeah, it doesn't get dark until 10 or 10:30, something like that.

• 3:12Fortune Feimster?

  That's how it was in Stockholm.

• 3:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:15Fortune Feimster?

  It got dark at like 10:45 and then it was light again at like 3 a.m.

• 3:20Tig Notaro?

  It's wild, but I slept pretty well last night.

• 3:25Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, good.

• 3:26Mae Martin?

  I was unconscious until about five, five minutes ago.

• 3:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 3:31Mae Martin?

  Cause I just can't fall asleep, so I, I, well, I could, but I don't.

• 3:36Fortune Feimster?

  What are you doing at night when you're?

• 3:38Mae Martin?

  I'm eating snacks and I'm watching Outlast at the moment, this new show. People have to survive in the jungle. And, but you have to be on a team in order to get the prize money. So people are.

• 3:49Tig Notaro?

  You love to watch people survive.

• 3:51Mae Martin?

  I love to watch people survive and suffer in the wild.

• 3:55Fortune Feimster?

  Uncomfortable positions, have to figure out how to live.

• 3:59Tig Notaro?

  But more importantly, what snacks?

• 4:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, man, I had Sun Chips, Oreos.

• 4:05Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 4:05Mae Martin?

  An ice cream sandwich, birthday cake flavored. I mean, I really went to town.

• 4:10Fortune Feimster?

  These are good snacks.

• 4:12Tig Notaro?

  And is this, uh, like, how often are you having snacks, watching people survive?

• 4:18Tig Notaro?

  That's such a funny thing to think of all of these people trying to survive and you're sitting at home just eating ice cream sandwiches on your couch.

• 4:28Mae Martin?

  Literally, they just ate a snake that they caught and it was the first protein that they'd had in days. Yeah.

• 4:33Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 4:35Mae Martin?

  It is a crazy show. No, and what I'm left to my own devices that I have a hard time making the transition from into my bed. I'll just postpone it. I'll just sit, you know? Yeah. And I drove home late last night. That doesn't matter. Yeah.

• 4:51Tig Notaro?

  No, it doesn't, but it's good to know.

• 4:53Mae Martin?

  Wired because I've been on the highway at like 11pm, which I rarely do. And it makes me really electrified.

• 5:02Fortune Feimster?

  I do love that you're driving now. It makes me very happy. It's like our

• 5:06Tig Notaro?

  It makes me a little nervous.

• 5:07Fortune Feimster?

  It's like our baby grew up.

• 5:08Mae Martin?

  I will say, last night when I parked in Venice and I was like Austin Powers trying to park his little thing, I couldn't parallel park and I was bumping both cars on either side of me repeatedly trying to.

• 5:22Tig Notaro?

  Oh, little cowboy.

• 5:24Mae Martin?

  I couldn't get in. I was the worst. And then a guy walked by and I went, yep. And he kind of latched with me. It looked like that.

• 5:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yep, that happens.

• 5:32Tig Notaro?

  Did I tell you guys the time when I first moved to Los Angeles and I worked at that little Frida's coffee shop and I was standing out in the parking lot, which was very tiny. It only, I think it only fit like three cars. And I was, this is one of those like moments where I'm like, my head is so far in the clouds. I can't even believe I didn't track what was happening. I was standing there talking to another comedian after, there's a Thursday night comedy show at the coffee shop and I'm standing outside talking to another comedian and there was this car doing that little cowboy 50-point turn trying

• 6:13Tig Notaro?

  to get out between. And I was like distracted talking to the comedian, trying to help. Only to realize my car was what was in the way.

• 6:24Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 6:24Tig Notaro?

  I could have just gotten in my car and moved it a foot or two. And, um, and I made some comment to the comedian where I was like, um, I was like, oh God, I hope they don't like slam into my car. And, uh, and they were like, that's your car? I was like, just move it. I was like, right. Oh my God.

• 6:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Tig Notaro?

  Guys, I have to tell you something that, um, happened last night.

• 6:52Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, okay.

• 6:53Mae Martin?

  Please.

• 6:54Tig Notaro?

  I get a text. Do you know the actress Patty Guggenheim?

• 6:59Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh. I know Patty.

• 7:01Mae Martin?

  I feel like we've talked about her before.

• 7:03Fortune Feimster?

  Patty has a role in the, in the Hawk, in the golf show coming out.

• 7:06Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah? Okay.

• 7:07Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 7:08Mae Martin?

  Okay. I think I do now. I'm Googling now, but yeah.

• 7:11Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Well, I get a, a text last night before I went night night.

• 7:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:18Tig Notaro?

  Tig, it's Patty Guggenheim. I have a message for you from Alanis.

• 7:24Fortune Feimster?

  No. Oh yeah. Cause Patty, Patty helped write Alanis's, uh, stage show.

• 7:31Mae Martin?

  Okay. Oh my God.

• 7:32Fortune Feimster?

  Cause Alanis was doing like a Vegas thing or something.

• 7:35Tig Notaro?

  Okay. I don't have those details, but I'm like.

• 7:38Fortune Feimster?

  Patty works with Alanis.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  Okay. So I'm like, what is this? And then I press on it and it's this.

• 7:51Fortune Feimster?

  Is that Taylor Dane?

• 7:53Mae Martin?

  Wait.

• 7:54Tig Notaro?

  That is Taylor Dane. Okay.

• 7:59Fortune Feimster?

  And that's from Alanis?

• 8:00Mae Martin?

  That's from Alanis.

• 8:01Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Yes. And, um.

• 8:04Fortune Feimster?

  I'm freaking out.

• 8:06Tig Notaro?

  And, uh, and I said, this is hilarious, but when you say Alanis, I assume you mean Taylor Dane. Um, and she said, ha, ha, ha, no, Alanis wanted me to send you this video of Taylor Dane.

• 8:19Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God.

• 8:21Tig Notaro?

  And so I, all I could think is another connection with Alanis that May didn't have.

• 8:26Mae Martin?

  Okay, but this.

• 8:29Mae Martin?

  But this is so crazy.

• 8:32Tig Notaro?

  It's like she's trying to avoid you.

• 8:35Mae Martin?

  It's like she's, I like to think of it like she's circling me like a shark and she's just picking off.

• 8:41Tig Notaro?

  No, she's not.

• 8:42Fortune Feimster?

  It's just a matter of time before y'all have your moment.

• 8:45Mae Martin?

  Okay, but I.

• 8:46Tig Notaro?

  May's not gonna have a moment with Alanis. I'm like trying to go to bed and Alanis is blowing up my phone through Patty Guggenheim.

• 8:53Fortune Feimster?

  That is so funny.

• 8:55Mae Martin?

  But wait, Fortune and I, well, I have an Alanis update as well. So this is crazy.

• 9:01Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. You do. Yeah.

• 9:02Mae Martin?

  So.

• 9:03Tig Notaro?

  Should we make Alanis the fourth co-host?

• 9:06Fortune Feimster?

  I think we should.

• 9:08Mae Martin?

  The amount that we talk about her.

• 9:10Tig Notaro?

  And Kate McCucci.

• 9:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can like rotate out with each other.

• 9:17Mae Martin?

  And ginger for sure. So I get to Largo and you know, Fortune's doing my Largo show.

• 9:23Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:23Mae Martin?

  Two nights ago and the tech guy at Largo, he and I have talked about Alanis before. He tours with her sometimes. And he, he does guitar tech and things like that. And so he goes, I got something for you, kid. And then he brings this plastic bag into the, and at first it's like just pics and stickers. And I was like, oh, cool. From the Alanis tour. That's so cool. Then he produces this.

• 9:47Tig Notaro?

  What is this?

• 9:48Mae Martin?

  This is a small box.

• 9:50Tig Notaro?

  Harmonica?

• 9:51Mae Martin?

  Yes. It's the harmonica that she plays on tour for the song, One Hand in My Pocket.

• 9:58Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 9:59Mae Martin?

  Let me tell you.

• 10:00Fortune Feimster?

  And is she now like, where's my harmonica?

• 10:02Tig Notaro?

  She's blown her spit into that.

• 10:04Fortune Feimster?

  So someone stole my harmonica.

• 10:08Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 10:08Tig Notaro?

  Mae Martin stole my harmonica?

• 10:11Mae Martin?

  Well, I was like, I thought, oh, she gifted this to me. Like, did you talk to her? And he goes, no, I just, I asked around and just took it from the drawer. And I guess they have hundreds of them, but she's played this on stage and it says, hand in my pocket. But listen, even if it wasn't labeled, if you've ever had any belief in like mysticism or energy.

• 10:31Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 10:32Mae Martin?

  If it wasn't labeled, I would still, when I put it in my hand, I felt a jolt of energy.

• 10:38Fortune Feimster?

  You feel her power. She's powerful.

• 10:40Tig Notaro?

  Okay, but also keep in mind, she did not give that to you.

• 10:46Mae Martin?

  I think she would sanction the gift.

• 10:49Fortune Feimster?

  I would love it if she were listening to this right now. I mean, I'm like.

• 10:52Tig Notaro?

  Oh, and she is.

• 10:53Fortune Feimster?

  Why?

• 10:54Mae Martin?

  And she sues me. Why is my harmonica there?

• 10:59Mae Martin?

  Can I, can I play into it?

• 11:00Fortune Feimster?

  I've been looking for that thing.

• 11:02Tig Notaro?

  Wait, but Atlantis is-

• 11:04Fortune Feimster?

  That's my favorite one.

• 11:06Tig Notaro?

  Atlantis blew her spit into that, though.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  I know, it's like we're kissing and she, she would have run, she would have run back and forth on stage. You've seen how she plays, right?

• 11:16Fortune Feimster?

  She rocks that harmonica too.

• 11:17Tig Notaro?

  Wait, you're telling me she ran across the stage with that in her hand?

• 11:21Fortune Feimster?

  She like plays it while she's like, you know.

• 11:24Tig Notaro?

  Running around.

• 11:25Fortune Feimster?

  As someone who's been on stage with her.

• 11:27Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 11:29Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 11:30Tig Notaro?

  And I'm listening because I'm someone who-

• 11:33Fortune Feimster?

  Who cares about your friend?

• 11:35Tig Notaro?

  Received from her.

• 11:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 11:38Tig Notaro?

  Through a mutual friend.

• 11:39Fortune Feimster?

  Play it as she goes across the stage.

• 11:42Mae Martin?

  Can I-

• 11:43Fortune Feimster?

  Very confident walking, hair flowing back and forth.

• 11:47Mae Martin?

  I used it, my parents used to, we used to go to Greece a lot in the summer and there was a church there that had like an artifact from a saint. It had like the old skeleton toe of Saint Spirit and it had an energy and this feels like an artifact from a saint. Like it feels like-

• 12:03Fortune Feimster?

  I love it, May.

• 12:04Tig Notaro?

  A saint who did-

• 12:06Fortune Feimster?

  That sounds like her.

• 12:08Tig Notaro?

  Okay, can you get up? Can you get up and run around?

• 12:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:12Tig Notaro?

  While you do it?

• 12:13Fortune Feimster?

  I got one hand in my pocket.

• 12:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 12:22Tig Notaro?

  Go to Hulu, go to Hulu right now.

• 12:28Fortune Feimster?

  I love this for you. I think it's gonna just take you into a new realm of-

• 12:33Tig Notaro?

  May's headphones weren't on when we were saying that.

• 12:35Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, by the way, during that same show, during that same show.

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  Yes, Fortune.

• 12:41Fortune Feimster?

  Most incredible moment because May has a thing where people will ask questions and May pulls out stuff.

• 12:48Mae Martin?

  Oh, like a question, yeah, bucket with the audience writes questions.

• 12:52Fortune Feimster?

  Flanders was just like, ah, feel free to pull out anything if you want at any point. I was like, oh, really? Aren't they for May? And he's like, yeah, just pull, pull one out. And I'm like, okay. And um, so I go on stage, I do a few jokes and then I pull one out and it says, be more confident. I'm like, Jesus.

• 13:11Mae Martin?

  Be more confident.

• 13:13Tig Notaro?

  May, what does that mean?

• 13:14Fortune Feimster?

  They were telling May to be more confident, but it was like all caps with X, all these exclamation marks. And I was like, holy shit.

• 13:22Mae Martin?

  Like, this is like, stop yelling at me, you know?

• 13:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 13:26Mae Martin?

  Also, I am always like, I know, maybe I have some vulnerability, but like,

• 13:31Fortune Feimster?

  I've never seen it.

• 13:32Mae Martin?

  You couldn't go on stage if you weren't confident.

• 13:35Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 13:35Mae Martin?

  There's gotta be some.

• 13:36Fortune Feimster?

  You couldn't do half the things.

• 13:38Tig Notaro?

  Also, from here on out, all of our fans and listeners need to accept us for exactly who we are.

• 13:48Mae Martin?

  Oh, I like that. Yeah.

• 13:49Tig Notaro?

  We accept you exactly for who you are. And let's just move forward with that.

• 13:55Fortune Feimster?

  I think they just are.

• 13:56Tig Notaro?

  We're all doing our best.

• 13:57Fortune Feimster?

  I think they're just probably really into May and just, you know, seize May's self-deprecation sometimes as not being confident.

• 14:05Mae Martin?

  Feeling if I actually was super confident, my career would end.

• 14:12Mae Martin?

  Like, they wouldn't like it.

• 14:13Fortune Feimster?

  I think you're doing just fine.

• 14:16Tig Notaro?

  We all bring a little something special.

• 14:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:19Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 14:19Mae Martin?

  Okay, I hope that Alanis doesn't get mad that I have this.

• 14:22Fortune Feimster?

  She's not gonna get mad.

• 14:24Tig Notaro?

  She's probably, no, she's gonna call the police.

• 14:26Fortune Feimster?

  She's laughing if anything, because it's pretty funny.

• 14:29Mae Martin?

  Oh, man.

• 14:30Tig Notaro?

  She's gonna call the Canadian police that don't carry guns.

• 14:33Mae Martin?

  The Mounties, they're gonna come on their horses.

• 14:35Fortune Feimster?

  She'll probably reach out to Tig and talk about it.

• 14:38Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. She'll be like, how do you deal with that person?

• 14:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'm gonna text Patty and I'm gonna be like, guess what? May stole Alanis's harmonica.

• 14:51Fortune Feimster?

  Pass it on.

• 14:52Tig Notaro?

  And it's confidently dancing around their office.

• 14:57Fortune Feimster?

  I just love that Alanis is the, the through line of the handsome pod.

• 15:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and I was also so, I was, it gave me a weird incorrect window into Patty, where I was like, how out of touch is Patty that she thinks Taylor Dane is Alanis Morissette?

• 15:20Mae Martin?

  Oh, right, you thought she just got the wrong-

• 15:22Tig Notaro?

  I thought, I thought she was like, oh, look at Alanis Morissette. And I was like, this is not Alanis Morissette.

• 15:29Mae Martin?

  But also, that means Alanis really has a knowledge of your work. That's right.

• 15:34Fortune Feimster?

  That's a Tig classic.

• 15:35Tig Notaro?

  That's a Tig classic, man.

• 15:37Mae Martin?

  Tig classic.

• 15:38Tig Notaro?

  And I'm very familiar with Alanis's work.

• 15:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you are.

• 15:41Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, hell, yeah, yeah.

• 15:42Tig Notaro?

  I don't have her, Monica, yet.

• 15:45Mae Martin?

  I mean, I'm just relieved she doesn't have your number to send you that directly.

• 15:49Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'm gonna get it.

• 15:50Fortune Feimster?

  We're gonna make sure that Alanis has our phone number.

• 15:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm gonna reach out to Patty and say, you pass these digits along to Alanis.

• 15:59Mae Martin?

  I just want, if Alanis is listening, I want her to know.

• 16:02Tig Notaro?

  And she is. What up, girl?

• 16:04Mae Martin?

  I just want her to know, it's, I wouldn't be weird. Like, I, I, you know.

• 16:10Tig Notaro?

  You're proving yourself wrong already.

• 16:12Mae Martin?

  I know, I know.

• 16:14Fortune Feimster?

  I promise you, it won't be weird.

• 16:15Mae Martin?

  I won't be weird, dude.

• 16:16Tig Notaro?

  That's like people that are like, I'm not a stalker. I'm not, I'm not, I'm like, I'm not-

• 16:21Mae Martin?

  And you're like, okay.

• 16:22Fortune Feimster?

  I'm very calm. I don't, I don't fly off the handle.

• 16:25Mae Martin?

  I just think that we would get along. We have a lot in common. And yes, she is like my, my Robert Plant, my, my Zeus, in a way. She's a god. But that wouldn't make me weird. I'm, I would be a really fun, cool friend.

• 16:39Fortune Feimster?

  Well, again, as someone who's been on stage with her, I can attest that I, I, she provides such a soul connection when you look into her eyes, that I had a tear roll. I'm not joking. Tear rolled on my face after locking eyes with her. She's a, I'm telling you, she's a powerful woman.

• 17:00Tig Notaro?

  I was crying when I got her indirect text to Patty Guggenheim of, you know, Alanis's footage of Taylor Dane set to me.

• 17:12Fortune Feimster?

  I wonder where Taylor was performing?

• 17:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, some awards show or something.

• 17:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it was an award show.

• 17:17Mae Martin?

  It blows my mind that Alanis owns a phone. It doesn't feel like, it feels like she would communicate telepathically.

• 17:26Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 17:28Mae Martin?

  The other funny moment from the Largo.

• 17:30Tig Notaro?

  You just also revealed that you would not be a normal friend if you can't even imagine that this woman would have a phone.

• 17:38Mae Martin?

  I'm sending her smoke signals.

• 17:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:46Mae Martin?

  The other funny part of the Largo night was, so Fortune arrived after the show had started. So I was on stage and Fortune was gonna be on first and then did her set. So funny. Such a great set. And then later in the show, I was on stage and I felt this like presence in the wings. And I look over and like Flanny and Michael and.

• 18:10Fortune Feimster?

  We're just staring at May.

• 18:11Tig Notaro?

  These are all people that work at.

• 18:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that work at Largo.

• 18:15Fortune Feimster?

  And Fortune is. Staring May down hardcore.

• 18:17Mae Martin?

  Looming in the wings. And so I'm like, did I do something wrong? What's happening? And then they just come out and Fortune's like, I have to go. So we should do the photo now and just take the photo on stage.

• 18:27Fortune Feimster?

  They told me to do this.

• 18:28Mae Martin?

  It was really good. I liked it a lot.

• 18:31Fortune Feimster?

  May really wants a picture. And I was like, I have to be up at 4am. And they were like.

• 18:35Mae Martin?

  They said, May really wants a picture with you?

• 18:38Fortune Feimster?

  Or of all, of everyone.

• 18:40Mae Martin?

  I wasn't like, guys.

• 18:42Tig Notaro?

  That sounds like May, if I know May.

• 18:44Mae Martin?

  Guys, I won't be weird. Just try to get a picture of me and Fortune.

• 18:47Fortune Feimster?

  You know how they do the group picture in the beginning?

• 18:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's nice to have.

• 18:52Fortune Feimster?

  And I was like, oh, I'm happy to do a picture, but May's on stage. And then they were like, I was like, what if I just stand in the wings and do a thumbs up with May in the background? I thought that was a good option.

• 19:02Mae Martin?

  That would have been great.

• 19:03Fortune Feimster?

  And they were like, or we just like, you just go out there and take a picture.

• 19:07Tig Notaro?

  Interrupt their set.

• 19:08Fortune Feimster?

  I said, well, not, they almost went during, you were full on talking about something. I go, let's like, wait for a pause.

• 19:16Mae Martin?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 19:18Tig Notaro?

  But what if the applause never came?

• 19:20Fortune Feimster?

  No applause. But applause for sure is coming.

• 19:25Fortune Feimster?

  It was fun. They had a really good crowd.

• 19:28Mae Martin?

  It cracked me up, yeah.

• 19:29Fortune Feimster?

  They, May is, is beloved.

• 19:32Mae Martin?

  Oh my gosh. Largo audiences are just so nice, always.

• 19:36Tig Notaro?

  It's funny because there's certain comedians and performers that get so nervous to perform at Largo.

• 19:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 19:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, people are like-

• 19:45Fortune Feimster?

  I find it to be the best place.

• 19:47Tig Notaro?

  Oh, it's so great, but I feel like it has this.

• 19:51Fortune Feimster?

  Like mystique.

• 19:52Mae Martin?

  Or something, or like-

• 19:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, where people are like, oh my god, I'm, I can't believe I'm at Largo. I don't, you know, I feel like this audience might be like, too like, snobby or something. And it's like, no! I mean, yeah, they're, they're, they're such a great audience.

• 20:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I felt super, like, starstruck by that venue when I first moved to LA. I think I'd seen Flanny, the owner, I'd seen him interviewed in like Elliot Smith documentaries and stuff about Elliot Smith. I was like,

• 20:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it blew my mind, yeah.

• 20:24Fortune Feimster?

  It's a cool place. It lives up to the hype.

• 20:26Tig Notaro?

  It's a part of your life.

• 20:27Mae Martin?

  I got home that night, or I went to Parv's, I think, that night, and then I told Parv your entire set fortune, word for word, in your, in your accent.

• 20:36Tig Notaro?

  Yes!

• 20:37Mae Martin?

  She loves a ginger anecdote. She loves, so I did like the whole set and we were crying laughing at your set.

• 20:43Tig Notaro?

  That's amazing.

• 20:44Mae Martin?

  It was great, yeah.

• 20:45Fortune Feimster?

  That's so cool. I love that.

• 20:47Mae Martin?

  You were talking about your European trip with her and it was great, yeah.

• 20:52Tig Notaro?

  And is that gonna be part of your new material, or is it just like an anecdote that you-

• 20:57Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. I, I went on stage because I didn't have a lot of new stuff to work out and I hate like, missing an opportunity to do a set and not put something in there new. So I just kind of chatted about it up top and I was like, there might be something here. I could, because I do a whole bit about taking my mom on a gay cruise, so I feel like those things could be tied in.

• 21:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:22Fortune Feimster?

  Where I also took her to Europe. There's some, I mean, you gotta tell about the, uh, the carry on luggage being a Trader Joe's cooler bag is really good.

• 21:32Tig Notaro?

  You could do a whole hour on your mother. You could do a one woman show about ginger. You should call it ginge.

• 21:39Fortune Feimster?

  Ginge.

• 21:40Tig Notaro?

  I mean, people would eat that up. I know, but like you could actually do a whole hour show that would be like in her honor and people would just devour that.

• 21:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Tig Notaro?

  That, um, I'll produce it. Anyway.

• 21:57Fortune Feimster?

  By the way, I just got a, um, I got a sauna, cause I wanna be like May.

• 22:02Tig Notaro?

  Tits out sauna?

• 22:04Fortune Feimster?

  Have you used it? And, and the tits out hot tub is being fixed. There's a lot going on.

• 22:09Tig Notaro?

  So you went with fixing the hot tub and not your tits?

• 22:13Fortune Feimster?

  You didn't, you didn't wanna lower your tits?

• 22:19Fortune Feimster?

  I felt it easier to do this than to fix my tits. Um, I got a little sauna, uh, and, uh, it's infrared. I'm very excited. Uh, I haven't, I haven't used it yet, but I've heard it's good for your heart health.

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  Oh, it's good for everything. It, it, if you use it like four times a week, your general longevity goes up like 40%.

• 22:41Fortune Feimster?

  And y'all know I need that.

• 22:42Mae Martin?

  Maybe you could do some spells in it. That's what I do.

• 22:45Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I don't, I've never cast a spell.

• 22:49Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 22:50Fortune Feimster?

  I would need your help with that. You might have to come over sometime.

• 22:53Tig Notaro?

  And do you cast spells with tits out?

• 22:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 22:56Tig Notaro?

  Like, is that best to like?

• 22:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, best, best to be flying free, yeah. Well, so I wasn't sure. I was like, do I wanna fix the tits out hot tub? I do love it. It's called a tits out hot tub. So there's that.

• 23:08Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, yeah. You could start a company.

• 23:11Fortune Feimster?

  For sure. And then the guy that's helping me do some interior design, he, he, um, measured it and he goes, oh my god, this is, this bench is really high. I go, I know. That's why it's the tits out hot tub. My tits are out. And he goes, we need a nip sin hot tub. And I was like, I know. So we, uh, we got a quote and it wasn't too bad. Um, so they are, they lowered it quite significantly though. So the water's, the water's now gonna come up to like almost my chin. But I did do a, a bench, uh, one bench higher so that if any short people come over, uh, they won't drown.

• 23:53Fortune Feimster?

  But I think I'll still call it the tits out hot tub though.

• 23:57Tig Notaro?

  Oh my God, of course.

• 23:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 24:00Tig Notaro?

  I just love the idea of you driving a van around that says tits out hot tub. By Fortune. Get out of comedy, get into hot tubbing.

• 24:10Fortune Feimster?

  It's pretty funny.

• 24:11Mae Martin?

  You had to pay for it, though. The company should fix that error.

• 24:15Fortune Feimster?

  I had to pay. Yeah, I should have to pay for it because it's a personal preference.

• 24:20Tig Notaro?

  And it's a personal problem with your tits.

• 24:22Fortune Feimster?

  And my tits are low hanging fruit.

• 24:28Fortune Feimster?

  So now it's gonna be nips in.

• 24:32Fortune Feimster?

  It is funny, though, on tour, how many people bring up the tits out hot tub.

• 24:37Tig Notaro?

  I bet.

• 24:38Mae Martin?

  It's the image is really striking.

• 24:40Tig Notaro?

  I was gonna say, there's no better thing to think about when I'm like flying through the sky heading to a new town. I just think about Fortune's tits out in the tub.

• 24:52Mae Martin?

  So what do you get? So what kind of, is it a barrel sauna?

• 24:55Fortune Feimster?

  No, it's the, it's just the box. It's a two person, uh, it's standing like three person, but there is no world in which three people would fit in that. It's, it's, it's a two, a tour.

• 25:10Mae Martin?

  An infrared though. I don't have infrared.

• 25:11Fortune Feimster?

  I can't have a friend join me if any of the handsome pod wants to go in there.

• 25:15Tig Notaro?

  What if they sit on your lap?

• 25:17Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, slippery. Three of us did it. One of us is sitting on a lap.

• 25:22Tig Notaro?

  Great, let's do it.

• 25:23Fortune Feimster?

  I'm okay with that.

• 25:24Tig Notaro?

  Put that on the list, Thomas. All three in.

• 25:28Mae Martin?

  Triple sauna and then tits out tub.

• 25:29Fortune Feimster?

  A handsome sauna.

• 25:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 25:33Mae Martin?

  You're gonna really, I think if you do it before bed, but you'll need to like.

• 25:37Fortune Feimster?

  Is that the best time?

• 25:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, cuz it increases melatonin and stuff.

• 25:40Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, okay.

• 25:41Mae Martin?

  But you'll have to shower after or something cuz you'll be ugh, real sweaty.

• 25:46Tig Notaro?

  You know Fortune doesn't like to clean.

• 25:49Fortune Feimster?

  I'm putting ficus up in front of it so that I can go in there, uh, cooter out.

• 25:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. So the paparazzi doesn't like.

• 25:59Fortune Feimster?

  Also my neighbors aren't seeing this, you know.

• 26:02Tig Notaro?

  Cooter out.

• 26:03Fortune Feimster?

  I wanna, I wanna go cooter out in this thing.

• 26:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 26:06Mae Martin?

  This, your backyard tits out, cooter out. It's, it's, the ficus is better, better.

• 26:13Fortune Feimster?

  The ficus is necessary, trust me.

• 26:16Tig Notaro?

  Gams a blazing.

• 26:18Fortune Feimster?

  Gams are gamming, Tig.

• 26:20Tig Notaro?

  Gams, cooters, tits. It's all going on in Fortune's backyard.

• 26:25Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a piece of meat in my backyard.

• 26:29Tig Notaro?

  Hey, girl.

• 26:30Fortune Feimster?

  A filet mignon.

• 26:35Fortune Feimster?

  Anyway, that's what's happening in my life.

• 26:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 26:39Fortune Feimster?

  Very exciting.

• 26:40Tig Notaro?

  Getting texts from Atlanta, so.

• 26:43Mae Martin?

  I'm about to have a weekend where I have, oh, never mind, actually. I have no plans, but then I remembered I'm gonna go to, uh, Dyke Day at, uh, Pride tomorrow in Highland Park.

• 26:55Fortune Feimster?

  In LA.

• 26:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:56Fortune Feimster?

  They do two different Prides now in LA, so I get very confused.

• 27:00Tig Notaro?

  Well, don't they have the West Hollywood Pride?

• 27:02Fortune Feimster?

  They have the West Hollywood one now, and then they have the LA one. They used to all be one, and somehow the organization split, so now there's two. But I like that you're going to Dyke Day.

• 27:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I thought, yeah, I'm gonna go. I, well, I have a couple of single friends who wanna go, and so I'm, I'm gonna go and try to make a. Yeah, yeah, and try to sort of.

• 27:24Tig Notaro?

  And is Dyke Day like, um?

• 27:27Mae Martin?

  I think it's inclusive of just like people with vaginas. I think it's like, the focus is like AFAB people.

• 27:37Mae Martin?

  I just started using that term AFAB.

• 27:39Tig Notaro?

  What is AFAB?

• 27:40Mae Martin?

  It's assigned female at birth.

• 27:42Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 27:42Mae Martin?

  So it's, so it could be non-binary people, it could be.

• 27:45Tig Notaro?

  Is it like a butchier type situation?

• 27:49Mae Martin?

  No, it's literally, yeah, just like the way West Hollywood's kind of more gay guy focused. This is more like, yeah.

• 27:56Tig Notaro?

  I see.

• 27:56Mae Martin?

  I went one year and it was, it's, it's the way like West Hollywood is like, and it's, this is like barbecues, dogs.

• 28:04Fortune Feimster?

  Everyone's reading.

• 28:05Mae Martin?

  Kids running around.

• 28:06Tig Notaro?

  Not barbecued dogs.

• 28:09Mae Martin?

  Barbecued dogs.

• 28:10Fortune Feimster?

  Barbecue space.

• 28:13Tig Notaro?

  Classic dyke, you know, barbecued dog.

• 28:17Fortune Feimster?

  No, they're over there rescuing dogs if anything.

• 28:19Mae Martin?

  Oh, I have something cool.

• 28:21Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 28:22Mae Martin?

  Well, so I had, I had followed this, I saw on Instagram, this thing that was lesbian oil wrestling. And they do these events, they do events that look really cool. And I followed them so that, and then they DM me and I said, when's your next?

• 28:38Fortune Feimster?

  For you to wrestle?

• 28:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they, or they just said, thanks for the follow. And then I said, when's your next event? I want to come, it looks like a party. And they go, we'll have one. They messaged back, they said, we'll have one whenever you want to have one, we'll organize one.

• 28:53Fortune Feimster?

  That sounds like a May party if I've ever heard it.

• 28:55Tig Notaro?

  I was gonna say, this is like.

• 28:58Mae Martin?

  So I said, I don't, I don't, I just want to come watch. Like, I don't want to.

• 29:03Fortune Feimster?

  You don't want to co-produce.

• 29:05Mae Martin?

  But then they just emailed me and they said, would you like to emcee the lesbian oil wrestling event in LA on July 3rd? And I said, of course. I said, can Parvati and I co- emcee it?

• 29:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's special.

• 29:21Mae Martin?

  Can we also wrestle? And they said, yes. So we're gonna, we're getting.

• 29:25Tig Notaro?

  I'm sorry.

• 29:26Fortune Feimster?

  I might have to go to this.

• 29:27Tig Notaro?

  When is this?

• 29:28Mae Martin?

  July 3rd, will you come?

• 29:30Tig Notaro?

  I'm not gonna be around.

• 29:31Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know if I'll be in town.

• 29:33Mae Martin?

  I don't know what the vibe is.

• 29:36Tig Notaro?

  I guess I could helicopter in.

• 29:38Mae Martin?

  I don't.

• 29:40Mae Martin?

  I don't think it's um

• 29:41Fortune Feimster?

  Bring your oil.

• 29:42Mae Martin?

  Like an orgy. I think it's legit like

• 29:44Fortune Feimster?

  No, I don't think anyone's having sex.

• 29:46Mae Martin?

  Wrestling arena.

• 29:47Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean you don't think it's an orgy? Why? I wasn't even thinking of it.

• 29:49Fortune Feimster?

  I wasn't thinking that either.

• 29:51Tig Notaro?

  Oh, oh my God. Classic May. And by the way, I don't think that barbecue is gonna be an orgy.

• 29:57Fortune Feimster?

  May's like, at what point are people doing it?

• 30:00Mae Martin?

  I just like the idea of getting that aggression out in a safe arena. Everyone covered in oil. Like, there's something really fun about it, I think. And you wear mouthguards and stuff and you just

• 30:10Tig Notaro?

  That sounds like a living hell.

• 30:12Fortune Feimster?

  I know. I don't want to be yoked.

• 30:14Tig Notaro?

  Living hell.

• 30:15Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 30:16Fortune Feimster?

  Oil.

• 30:16Tig Notaro?

  Living hell.

• 30:17Mae Martin?

  Well, you know, I don't like to be oily either, but I think I could get over it if it

• 30:21Fortune Feimster?

  People would pay big bucks to see you in Parvati oil wrestling.

• 30:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. People would pay big bucks to see you just oil your body down.

• 30:31Mae Martin?

  Well, I think Parvati's gonna destroy me.

• 30:33Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, of course, of course. I would pay.

• 30:36Mae Martin?

  She is ripped.

• 30:36Fortune Feimster?

  This is a break the internet kind of video. You need to put it online after.

• 30:41Mae Martin?

  I think I'm gonna start working out now and I'm gonna

• 30:43Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 30:44Mae Martin?

  Cause

• 30:44Tig Notaro?

  You're already super fit. Don't you already work out?

• 30:47Mae Martin?

  I mean, I've seen Parv, like, in a competitive situation. I've seen her, like, on a

• 30:52Tig Notaro?

  You've seen her survive on an island. Yeah.

• 30:55Mae Martin?

  I started, she like, I've seen her like dislocate someone's shoulder by accident on Survivor. Or maybe that wasn't her. I think that was her, her friend, but she can throw down.

• 31:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 31:05Mae Martin?

  So, and she's got like a strong center of gravity and I'm a bit of a noodle, so I'm gonna really, I'm gonna start.

• 31:11Fortune Feimster?

  I think July 3rd might be too soon then.

• 31:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, can we move this?

• 31:15Fortune Feimster?

  Can we move the date?

• 31:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:17Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe the end of July?

• 31:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, July 3rd, it's gotta be.

• 31:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, and then Fortune and I could do commentary.

• 31:26Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 31:26Mae Martin?

  You guys will be like the two Muppets.

• 31:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we could, while you're wrestling, we could, oh my gosh, we have to do it for a live stream.

• 31:34Fortune Feimster?

  Livestream, yes.

• 31:37Mae Martin?

  I don't know. I think I want this to be like Fight Club. I want this to be just for the memories.

• 31:43Fortune Feimster?

  Well, it would just be for the livestream. We wouldn't, we don't have to put it out anywhere else.

• 31:47Tig Notaro?

  If you're doing it just for the memories, then just like oil yourself up and down and do it at home. Yeah.

• 31:53Mae Martin?

  I think the atmosphere is gonna be electric.

• 31:55Fortune Feimster?

  You do have the ability to do this whenever you want.

• 31:58Mae Martin?

  We're gonna emcee throughout and then I think we'll wrestle at the end. And, but I think the people who participate are like, really good at this.

• 32:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. But keep us posted.

• 32:10Mae Martin?

  I will, I will for sure.

• 32:11Tig Notaro?

  Should we get to our question?

• 32:13Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it.

• 32:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:14Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna think about this.

• 32:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, thinking about May getting all oiled up and I'm thinking about Fortune's tits out, which is my normal go to.

• 32:25Fortune Feimster?

  We're giving a lot of people some good stuff today.

• 32:29Tig Notaro?

  We really are.

• 32:34Mae Martin?

  Today's question asker is an Australian actor and model who starred in movies like Ready or Not, Caroline Caroline, Babylon, and Scream Six. Samara Weaving is asking today's question.

• 32:47Mae Martin?

  She and I are Instagram friends.

• 32:49Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah?

• 32:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and she seems so funny and cool.

• 32:53Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't she Australian? She's, oh, yeah, you said Australian.

• 32:56Mae Martin?

  Australian, yes.

• 32:56Fortune Feimster?

  Should I do my Australian accent?

• 32:58Tig Notaro?

  I was gonna say, here it comes.

• 32:59Fortune Feimster?

  Jennifer Lopez, razor blades.

• 33:04Fortune Feimster?

  Don't come for me, Toni Collette.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Hello, handsome pod. It's Sam Weaving here. I am absolutely honored to ask you a question. I'm a huge fan of all you wolfy wolfingtons. Okay, my question today is, what is the most unhinged thing you've ever done? You know, where you're going. This was insane. I've lost my mind, but I did it. Can't wait to hear your tales.

• 33:43Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow. I do love the Australian accent.

• 33:46Tig Notaro?

  What was that last thing she said?

• 33:48Mae Martin?

  Can't wait to hear your tales.

• 33:49Tig Notaro?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 33:50Fortune Feimster?

  I can't wait to hear your tales.

• 33:53Mae Martin?

  Can't wait to hear your tales.

• 33:54Fortune Feimster?

  Can't wait.

• 33:55Tig Notaro?

  Can't wait to hear your tales.

• 33:57Fortune Feimster?

  Can't wait to hear your tales.

• 33:59Tig Notaro?

  Can't wait to hear your tales.

• 34:03Fortune Feimster?

  Well, gosh, that's gonna take me a minute to think of, because I don't consider myself an unhinged person.

• 34:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I love the word unhinged is so specific. So this is not like regular anecdotes that we've shared on the pod. This is like something that you're a little bit like, what does this say about me?

• 34:21Fortune Feimster?

  Right, right. Do you guys have one off the top of your heads?

• 34:28Tig Notaro?

  Off the top of your tits out?

• 34:32Mae Martin?

  I think I ha- I mean, I, yeah, I think I have.

• 34:36Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, God.

• 34:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I bet this is pretty unhinged.

• 34:39Fortune Feimster?

  That laugh leads me to believe something's coming our way.

• 34:44Mae Martin?

  I'm thinking how to phrase it.

• 34:47Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 34:48Mae Martin?

  Well, so.

• 34:50Tig Notaro?

  Just pretend like we are your much needed therapists.

• 34:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay, okay. So I guess.

• 34:58Mae Martin?

  This is, this is, oh my God. So I've had like, um, multiple sort of erotic experiences during massages.

• 35:08Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, boy.

• 35:08Mae Martin?

  Whenever I tell people them, it will, so the first time I was 19, I was in Nepal.

• 35:14Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean, the first time you were 19?

• 35:17Mae Martin?

  Oh, no, the first time this happened, I was 19 and I was in Nepal and, and some stuff went down with the masseuse. And, um, I was sending, I was giving off signals and then.

• 35:27Tig Notaro?

  And how does one? What are the signals?

• 35:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, how does one do this?

• 35:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:32Fortune Feimster?

  You're on the, you're on the table.

• 35:34Mae Martin?

  I'm on the table. He would.

• 35:37Tig Notaro?

  And you're going in wanting to give signals?

• 35:40Mae Martin?

  No, that, no, well, now, sometimes.

• 35:44Fortune Feimster?

  You probably have to see if you feel the vibe with whoever the masseuse person is.

• 35:48Tig Notaro?

  How do you feel the vibe? Because a masseuse is like giving.

• 35:52Mae Martin?

  Oh, I don't want to, I don't want to come across like a creep on this.

• 35:56Fortune Feimster?

  I have another.

• 35:56Tig Notaro?

  Too late, too late.

• 35:57Fortune Feimster?

  I have another question. Is it usually, uh, a man or a woman or both?

• 36:03Tig Notaro?

  Who cares?

• 36:03Fortune Feimster?

  That you're putting the vibe out for?

• 36:06Mae Martin?

  I've had both. Um, and that, but so this was, uh, I mean, like when I was 19, this is when it started. And the door was kind of open was, I was 19 and this guy was kind of testing the waters by like going up very close to the area, you know what I mean?

• 36:22Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 36:22Mae Martin?

  And he was super handsome and I hadn't had sex in months and I was like, I went back, that's what it was. I went back for a massage like the next day.

• 36:31Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:32Mae Martin?

  That gave him the signal and then I was like breathing in sync with him and whatever. He ended up going down on me. That, that was, and then afterwards I told people and they, I, so I told.

• 36:43Fortune Feimster?

  I thought he was gonna like put a finger in. I didn't think he was going full mouth.

• 36:47Tig Notaro?

  Guys, guys.

• 36:49Fortune Feimster?

  Full mouth is like very personal.

• 36:52Mae Martin?

  From behind.

• 36:53Tig Notaro?

  Guys, let.

• 36:54Mae Martin?

  Well, I was the face down.

• 36:55Tig Notaro?

  Guys.

• 36:57Tig Notaro?

  What is happening to our innocent podcast?

• 37:01Mae Martin?

  Is this too much?

• 37:02Tig Notaro?

  Thomas is hiding his face. I've never seen that happen.

• 37:05Mae Martin?

  This was just the, I mean, the lead into the real unhinged story.

• 37:09Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah. This isn't even it.

• 37:12Mae Martin?

  This isn't even it.

• 37:13Fortune Feimster?

  We'll let you continue.

• 37:14Tig Notaro?

  I think we stop here.

• 37:16Fortune Feimster?

  No, no, no. I think we have to continue.

• 37:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 37:20Fortune Feimster?

  Just maybe if you're a child in the car, turn it, turn it off for now.

• 37:24Tig Notaro?

  Wait a minute. How on earth does that go from massage? Does, does he ask?

• 37:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, he said, this was a weird experience. This was not.

• 37:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 37:39Mae Martin?

  Like, so I was, and I was in Nepal. He didn't speak English and he

• 37:45Mae Martin?

  basically was like, the second time I did, oh my God. Anyway, it doesn't matter, but he said, he said a funny phrase.

• 37:54Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 37:55Mae Martin?

  He said, this too, sometimes also good. And then I said, what? And then he said, is it okay? And then he started going down on me.

• 38:03Fortune Feimster?

  He's like, num, num, num, num, num.

• 38:05Mae Martin?

  I, I come in 10 seconds because it was like, I was already ready to go. And I was like,

• 38:11Fortune Feimster?

  This is good too.

• 38:12Mae Martin?

  Num, num, num, num, num.

• 38:15Tig Notaro?

  This sometimes, this too.

• 38:17Mae Martin?

  This too, sometimes also good.

• 38:19Tig Notaro?

  Also good.

• 38:20Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 38:21Tig Notaro?

  Okay, Thomas, can you write that down?

• 38:23Mae Martin?

  This too, sometimes also good.

• 38:24Fortune Feimster?

  So he wasn't down there long?

• 38:26Mae Martin?

  No, because I was, it was like I was.

• 38:30Fortune Feimster?

  It worked. It worked for you. Okay.

• 38:33Mae Martin?

  And then we, and then he asked me on a date. We made out a bit. Then he asked me on a date and then I didn't go on the date. And then he emailed me. I'd given his email. And then he said that he wanted to get married. He wanted a Canadian passport. And then I thought, how many tourists have you? And anyway.

• 38:50Tig Notaro?

  So this went from this to sometimes also good to will you marry me?

• 38:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 38:56Fortune Feimster?

  For a passport.

• 38:58Mae Martin?

  I wasn't planning on sharing that one.

• 39:00Tig Notaro?

  And this is not the unhinged.

• 39:01Mae Martin?

  This is not the unhinged one.

• 39:03Fortune Feimster?

  We need to get to the unhinged one.

• 39:06Mae Martin?

  But the reason I told that one is like, after that experience, I've, I skipped out of there feeling great.

• 39:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 39:12Mae Martin?

  And then I would tell people about it. I was like, oh my God. And they were like, are you okay? Or like, they were like, oh wow, that's kind of bleak. And I was like, I feel good, but now I'm absorbing your things.

• 39:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, they're ashamed about it.

• 39:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but I'm like, I went.

• 39:26Fortune Feimster?

  That's fine.

• 39:27Mae Martin?

  I don't think I do. And, and because I.

• 39:30Fortune Feimster?

  I've had that happen. I've had that happen to friends before and she was very into it.

• 39:35Mae Martin?

  It happened. Yeah, it was so like.

• 39:37Fortune Feimster?

  The num, num, num part, but other stuff.

• 39:39Tig Notaro?

  What did she have?

• 39:41Fortune Feimster?

  A finger.

• 39:42Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 39:43Mae Martin?

  Okay, so, so then, cut to.

• 39:46Tig Notaro?

  I do not give off those vibes.

• 39:48Mae Martin?

  If I'm.

• 39:49Fortune Feimster?

  Me neither. I, I would be like bummed. I'd be like, I actually want a massage. Can you please stop?

• 39:55Mae Martin?

  Yes, for sure. That, I mean, most massages I have, it's regular massage, but sometimes I like, I'm a very, like, my whole body is an erogenous zone. Like I, you know, and I get relaxed and there's something so nice about not having to perform or like, try to be hot. You're just lying down. Anyway, so cut to the unhinged experience was, because I thought that was the pinnacle. I'll never have that again. And I think about it frequently.

• 40:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 40:24Mae Martin?

  And then, um, I, I got on an app. I got booked a masseuse and I was in, uh.

• 40:31Tig Notaro?

  So there's a masseuse app?

• 40:33Mae Martin?

  There's multiple masseuse apps.

• 40:34Fortune Feimster?

  But is this an app with, that you're going on with the hopes of more happening or it's a legit?

• 40:40Tig Notaro?

  Is this, um, this to sometimes also good.com?

• 40:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, no, I was just, I wanted a massage. I was super tired. I was on tour.

• 40:49Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 40:49Mae Martin?

  And, um, the masseuse came to my hotel room and he's this, this giant man. He's like six foot five.

• 40:57Fortune Feimster?

  Like muscular.

• 40:59Mae Martin?

  The first thing that happened was he did, he mentioned it was his birthday. And I thought, huh. And he said, yeah, I wasn't going to work on my birthday, but I'll, I thought I'd take the job. And anyway, I was thinking this guy's.

• 41:11Tig Notaro?

  What if you just immediately started singing happy birthday to him? Happy birthday.

• 41:18Mae Martin?

  And anyway, long story short, I ended up, yeah, having like tantric sex with this humongous man for, for three and a half hours in the hotel room. And then, um, and then he, and it was one of the wildest experiences of my life. It was.

• 41:39Tig Notaro?

  Maymarie.

• 41:40Mae Martin?

  It was so connected, so like, it's, I know. And then afterwards, I, I've only told a few people this. And in fact, I swore to myself, I would never tell anyone.

• 41:51Tig Notaro?

  Hundreds of thousands of people hearing this now.

• 41:54Mae Martin?

  Oh, what is wrong? But.

• 41:56Tig Notaro?

  You're unhinged.

• 41:57Mae Martin?

  I do.

• 41:58Tig Notaro?

  You're simply unhinged.

• 41:59Mae Martin?

  Just during a massage, that's it. I mean, listen, we use.

• 42:03Fortune Feimster?

  I think you're a sexual person.

• 42:05Mae Martin?

  And we are two consenting adults. I mean, to be honest, I was the one driving the encounter. Like.

• 42:11Tig Notaro?

  How did you drive the encounter?

• 42:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I do have some follow up questions.

• 42:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 42:16Fortune Feimster?

  How, how does this, how does this go down that, start going down that road?

• 42:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 42:23Mae Martin?

  I think what he expected, I'm sure he's done this before. I mean, first of all, this was.

• 42:28Tig Notaro?

  He has. I know for sure he has.

• 42:30Mae Martin?

  The most amazing massage of my life. Like he, he was a gifted bodywork, like healer, like his, his giant hands. And he's like breathing and I start breathing in sync with him and he's playing this music. And so he was like a really brilliant masseuse.

• 42:48Tig Notaro?

  That feels like it's a, it's, that's what you do is you start breathing at the same time.

• 42:54Fortune Feimster?

  The breathing is what starts it all.

• 42:56Tig Notaro?

  Come up a few times here.

• 42:57Fortune Feimster?

  I would love to have this guy work on me without the dong.

• 43:01Mae Martin?

  Oh, but well, you could just-

• 43:02Fortune Feimster?

  I don't want the dong experience of this.

• 43:05Tig Notaro?

  And I want footage of you face to face with a large man saying exactly that sentence. Just-

• 43:14Fortune Feimster?

  I like the massage, just no dong, please.

• 43:17Mae Martin?

  Well, so, so, okay, let's continue.

• 43:19Fortune Feimster?

  Our breathing in sync.

• 43:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, then he's like, whatever, he's like, is this, he's, he asked consent multiple times. Cause I'm like, I'm literally, I'm like, my energy is like, please go further with this. Like, I'm like, so then that happens again, I come, I come in two seconds.

• 43:38Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, cause he's like touching, he's like touching things.

• 43:41Mae Martin?

  He starts touching things. Yeah, yeah.

• 43:44Tig Notaro?

  On your body.

• 43:45Mae Martin?

  On my body. After about half an hour of like massaging.

• 43:49Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I'd need a longer massage than that.

• 43:51Mae Martin?

  And then, and then he's like, gonna just keep massaging or wrap up the experience. But then I was like, literally begging him, I was like, please let me take you to my bed. And he was like, okay.

• 44:06Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 44:06Mae Martin?

  And I was like, took him by the hand, took him to my bed, really took control.

• 44:11Tig Notaro?

  I would love to see you leading a giant man by the hand to your bed.

• 44:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it is great.

• 44:20Tig Notaro?

  That is just a wonderful-

• 44:21Fortune Feimster?

  And then, and then I was- Three hour, three and a half hours.

• 44:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it was like, it was wild, anyway.

• 44:29Fortune Feimster?

  That's like an owie, owie.

• 44:32Mae Martin?

  No, no, it wasn't, no, no, it wasn't, it wasn't like three hours of crazy. It was just like, it was honestly, I, it was like, it was pretty wild.

• 44:43Fortune Feimster?

  What, May? It was what?

• 44:45Mae Martin?

  It was just pretty wild and very sensual, very connected, like it was, and then afterwards-

• 44:51Fortune Feimster?

  Are there any breaks?

• 44:53Mae Martin?

  Not really.

• 44:55Tig Notaro?

  Owie.

• 44:56Mae Martin?

  A lot of it, well, he'd go back to massaging and stuff. But then, anyway, I felt conflicted about it after only because of, well, he left and I was like, am I out of my fucking mind? Who was this person? And I'm in the hotel room and like, I, and then I thought, have I just internalized like societies? Cause that was, that was, I was, that's the type of porn I watch. I felt like I was in my dream fantasy of like, one of many dream fantasies of different dynamics, but that's one for sure.

• 45:27Tig Notaro?

  What if he walked out of your hotel room and behind the door, he just heard you say, owie?

• 45:33Mae Martin?

  Oh God, no, it wasn't.

• 45:37Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I've done anything for three and a half hours.

• 45:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Mae Martin?

  The craziest thing was then I texted my friend who I was on tour with and I said, I, like, I had a moment of panic after of just like, am I like, I don't know, what's wrong with me?

• 45:53Fortune Feimster?

  Did you give him five stars?

• 45:55Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah. Yeah, I did. And, and.

• 45:58Fortune Feimster?

  But for real, no, you were, there was no owie at any point? You're like, this is a lot.

• 46:06Tig Notaro?

  Good question, Fortune. It was a follow up question.

• 46:09Mae Martin?

  Thank you. It wasn't three hours of penetrative, like pounding. It was like a mix of things. No, it was like tantric. It was like.

• 46:19Tig Notaro?

  I can't even share what I, what came to mind for me that was unhinged at this point.

• 46:25Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we know this is not a path you're going down.

• 46:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's like, I'm listening to your story and I'm like, how do I even share mine?

• 46:34Fortune Feimster?

  We are so boring. Oh my God.

• 46:37Mae Martin?

  No, I want to hear yours. I feel like I'm, I'm having regret about sharing this, but I shouldn't, right?

• 46:41Tig Notaro?

  You shouldn't have regret.

• 46:43Fortune Feimster?

  This is a no judgment zone. We laugh because we're a silly, a silly pod.

• 46:48Mae Martin?

  I think everyone, yeah, I'm sex positive, I think.

• 46:51Fortune Feimster?

  Sex positive, we know that about you.

• 46:53Mae Martin?

  This guy was the most respectful, can like.

• 46:56Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 46:57Mae Martin?

  Communicative and, and if anything, I was the one driving the experience, you know?

• 47:03Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it sounds like. Listen, we could all learn from this fella.

• 47:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 47:07Fortune Feimster?

  Really be sensual. And may we, we support your endeavors.

• 47:12Mae Martin?

  Thank you.

• 47:13Fortune Feimster?

  As long as you're good and you're safe. That's all we care about.

• 47:16Mae Martin?

  It was interesting though, like the, the flash of anxiety afterwards. And I was like, where does that come from? Cause I literally, I objectively just had one of the best times of my life. Like, that was crazy. And then afterwards I was like, no God, but then why? But I, those days might be through for me. I, you know, when I'm in a relationship, I'm.

• 47:36Fortune Feimster?

  You're locked in.

• 47:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:39Fortune Feimster?

  Well, you might be able to apply some of that into your current situation, you know?

• 47:44Mae Martin?

  Oh, very much. Absolutely.

• 47:46Fortune Feimster?

  I've never been in a tantric situation. That just seems like a long time to do anything.

• 47:52Tig Notaro?

  I think not a frantic situation.

• 47:54Fortune Feimster?

  Water, I'd need snacks.

• 47:56Mae Martin?

  You could stop for water.

• 47:57Fortune Feimster?

  I need a break at some point.

• 48:01Tig Notaro?

  Unless you ate the snacks off of somebody.

• 48:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, true.

• 48:04Tig Notaro?

  Well, here's what came to mind for me. It was when I was in junior high school. Uh, I was, you know, cutting up in class as I did with, um, a friend or two. And we got sent out of science class to sit in the hallway. That was the punishment. But our classroom was at the very end of the hallway where the bathrooms were. And where the doors, like they had like exit doors at the end of the hall near the bathroom. And we were sitting in the hall and I said to my friends,

• 48:42Tig Notaro?

  what if while we're out here, we go get a bunch of toilet paper and toilet paper the school? And so we went into the bathroom, grabbed all of this toilet paper and during school hours, we were just toilet papering the, uh, the trees and bushes out.

• 49:05Mae Martin?

  While people were just in their classrooms looking out the window?

• 49:08Tig Notaro?

  And then another teacher came out of the classroom and caught us mid going in and out of the school.

• 49:17Mae Martin?

  I mean, yeah.

• 49:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that felt a little unhinged, but nothing compared to.

• 49:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah, when did it get tantric?

• 49:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, when did the owie part happen?

• 49:31Tig Notaro?

  I know, it's like, you know, I was, I was a kid that was up to some stuff, but not.

• 49:38Mae Martin?

  But there's real boldness there to be like, I'm already in trouble and I could get caught at any moment, I'm gonna in plain sight.

• 49:46Tig Notaro?

  I lived my life as a kid thinking like, I'm not like killing anybody.

• 49:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Tig Notaro?

  Like, that's how I would kind of make decisions. I'd be like.

• 49:57Mae Martin?

  Is it murder? If not, then fine.

• 49:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm not like killing anybody. Anyway.

• 50:03Mae Martin?

  Did you get in big trouble? Were you suspended?

• 50:06Tig Notaro?

  I wasn't suspended, but I, you know, I can't remember, I was all, there was always something going on, you know? That was just another one where it's like, oh my God, she's toilet papering the school during school hours. And it's like, but why would you send the kids that are acting that way in class out into the hallway to sit alone?

• 50:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 50:28Tig Notaro?

  It's like, what, we're just gonna then start behaving ourselves?

• 50:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, your punishment is you can't be in class.

• 50:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 50:37Mae Martin?

  Fortunately, what about you?

• 50:38Fortune Feimster?

  Um, well, that was equally as exciting as Mays.

• 50:45Fortune Feimster?

  I, you know, I've always been like too responsible for my own good. Like, I, I didn't even like really allow myself to be unhinged in my younger days and do those wild things you're kind of supposed to do when you're younger. I would say the most unhinged thing I probably did was I, I just was like lonely a lot when I was in high school. I had a lot of friends, I was friends with different groups of people, but I think because I was friends with a lot of different groups, like sometimes I would be included in things and sometimes I wouldn't because you just aren't clocking people as much when you're kind of the person that's going throughout the groups. And, you know, back then I was no shade, but I was left home a lot by myself on the

• 51:30Fortune Feimster?

  weekends. So, once I was old enough to start driving. I would just kind of drive around town and like drive by my friend's houses to see like, I don't know what I was looking for. If I thought like they would magically come outside and be like, come hang out. I don't know.

• 51:48Mae Martin?

  So you wouldn't knock on the door? Yeah. Cause would your, would your heart rate go up a bit? Cause you knew you were being a little sketchy. So you were, yeah, you were stalking your friend.

• 51:58Fortune Feimster?

  I was like, I want to hang out. No one's asking me to hang out tonight. Like, and then I did actually drive, drive past a friend once and she lived on a like dead end street. She was like, what are you doing? I was like, ah.

• 52:12Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. You're in my, my.

• 52:14Tig Notaro?

  I just want to be your friend.

• 52:15Fortune Feimster?

  I just, I didn't know if you wanted to hang out or anything.

• 52:19Tig Notaro?

  And did you hang out?

• 52:20Fortune Feimster?

  No. I think she was like, I'm going to, I'm going to home to bed. I was like, great.

• 52:26Tig Notaro?

  I'm going where everyone else is hanging out without you.

• 52:29Mae Martin?

  If I wanted to hang out, I would have said so.

• 52:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It was just like a little bit of a wayward soul at times. Um, so.

• 52:37Tig Notaro?

  That's funny.

• 52:38Fortune Feimster?

  I just hadn't quite found my confidence yet. And just like call, just call your friend and be like, do you want to hang out? Like, what are you doing?

• 52:46Tig Notaro?

  Boy, did we all have very different levels of unhinged.

• 52:52Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, yeah, I never got like crazy. I never really got crazy drunk or anything. I mean, I told you all, I already told you that one time I had a party at my house for my friends.

• 53:01Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 53:02Fortune Feimster?

  Eighteenth birthday with the stripper with the acne on his butt. That might be the most unhinged night I had in high school where it's just a bunch of girls covering their face while this acne butt guy is like grinding his pointed wiener on them.

• 53:18Mae Martin?

  Pointed?

• 53:19Fortune Feimster?

  It was, remember it was, I don't even remember. It was like, it was like crooked.

• 53:24Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 53:25Fortune Feimster?

  I think he had something in his Speedo.

• 53:27Mae Martin?

  To make it look bigger?

• 53:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So that, that was my, my, my little toe dip of being wild was hosting that party.

• 53:38Fortune Feimster?

  And then I didn't really drink in college. I was pretty, pretty boring.

• 53:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:46Fortune Feimster?

  So, college days, I don't have all these like wild stories that some people have.

• 53:51Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm.

• 53:52Fortune Feimster?

  And then I think I got drunk in LA once at a Halloween party where I was wearing a Hooters outfit. And I did crawl across the floor at one point in my Hooters outfit.

• 54:05Mae Martin?

  Like sexy crawl?

• 54:06Tig Notaro?

  That is hilarious.

• 54:07Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 54:09Tig Notaro?

  That is so funny.

• 54:11Fortune Feimster?

  And that was maybe the extent of my, my wild days.

• 54:15Mae Martin?

  And, and I shouldn't have regret about sharing that, you think?

• 54:18Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 54:18Tig Notaro?

  I don't think you should regret it at all. You're living your life.

• 54:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and also, I'm pro, I'm, I'm pro sex work too. It's like, this guy felt like a healer, honestly.

• 54:29Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 54:30Tig Notaro?

  He healed you.

• 54:31Mae Martin?

  He healed me. In fact, I told him that after and he was like, okay.

• 54:36Fortune Feimster?

  You said you healed me?

• 54:38Mae Martin?

  I said, you are like a wizard. And I was like, you're, you're like a very gifted, like, and he was like, anyway.

• 54:46Fortune Feimster?

  You're like a wiener wizard.

• 54:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. No, we had a good lull. We had a good laugh.

• 54:52Fortune Feimster?

  All right, should we, um, should we hear Samara's question? I mean, answer?

• 54:58Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  Okay, before I tell the story, you must know, my husband is a picky eater. And there's no real logic to it. Like, he likes cheese on pizza, but doesn't like cheese on pasta. And like, we'll have nuts in a candy bar, but then like no nuts on the salad. Like, it's just a bit illogical. Which drives me a bit nuts. Um, also, if you were like gonna invite me to a soiree of some kind, and then you hear this story and you go, actually, never mind. I went mad. I went insane. Okay, I'm unhinged. I went unhinged. This is not in line with my

• 55:37Speaker 04

  principles as a person. Okay, here we go. So we were at a picnic and my friend offered us all walnut and chocolate cookies. And Jimmy, my husband, said, oh, no, I'm allergic to walnuts. And I just went, no, you're not. No, you're not. Just say you don't want it because you're a weird picky eater. And he was adamant. He doubled down. He was like, no, I'm allergic. And I just knew in my heart that he wasn't. So that night,

• 56:17Speaker 04

  I was making dinner and I ground up walnuts.

• 56:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my god.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  Like laughing, like this could potentially kill him. But I knew it wasn't. I knew it wasn't gonna, he wasn't gonna die. I just knew that he was lying. Ground up walnuts, giggling, sprinkled it in our dinner, watched him eat it like a creep. And then when he finished, I waited like ten fifteen, he was fine. And then I went, ha, you're not allergic to walnuts.

• 56:50Speaker 04

  But it was, I, I remember feeling at the time, like, this is, I'm, this is.

• 56:56Tig Notaro?

  That's hilarious. That's unhinged. That is unhinged.

• 57:00Speaker 04

  Um, now he has a baby with me, so he's locked in. Bye.

• 57:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, wow.

• 57:05Fortune Feimster?

  He probably was like, what?

• 57:08Tig Notaro?

  I know.

• 57:11Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god. That is.

• 57:13Tig Notaro?

  That could have gone a very different way.

• 57:15Fortune Feimster?

  Super south.

• 57:17Mae Martin?

  Cut to him in the hospital. Oh, my god. But I, when she says she knew in her heart and gut, I believe that.

• 57:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 57:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that is. But there must have been a moment when she was grinding them up where she just thought, what have I become?

• 57:30Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Yeah, but it is, it's funny when you know somebody so well and you know when they're answering something or responding to something, you're like.

• 57:42Tig Notaro?

  I know it's up.

• 57:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 57:43Tig Notaro?

  I know it's up.

• 57:45Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that was, I mean, we really went to a new place with each other. And what a treat.

• 57:53Tig Notaro?

  Mainly with May.

• 57:55Mae Martin?

  I know, I really overshared and I'm sorry if you're listening and you fast forwarded those parts.

• 58:01Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 58:02Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 58:02Fortune Feimster?

  Edge of our seats, all of us, even our listeners, I'm sure.

• 58:06Mae Martin?

  You know?

• 58:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 58:10Mae Martin?

  What's coming up for you guys? It's June 30th.

• 58:12Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I don't want to brag, but my birthday is tomorrow, July 1st.

• 58:17Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, of course.

• 58:18Tig Notaro?

  How old will you be? Forty-five?

• 58:21Fortune Feimster?

  No, forty-four.

• 58:23Tig Notaro?

  Forty-four?

• 58:24Mae Martin?

  We can hear you.

• 58:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God.

• 58:27Fortune Feimster?

  So, uh, coming, so, um, I, uh,

• 58:32Tig Notaro?

  Wait, what just happened?

• 58:34Fortune Feimster?

  I'm in a hotel and it's time for me to check out.

• 58:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 58:39Fortune Feimster?

  So I'm not doing stand up for a minute because the hawk is coming out July 16th.

• 58:43Tig Notaro?

  Oh, nice.

• 58:44Fortune Feimster?

  On Netflix, but back in, in August, I'm going to be, uh, in the, uh, in West Hampton, uh, and Foxwood Casinos, uh, in Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Province Town, Massachusetts, Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, uh, Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Dayton, Louisville, Durham, uh, tons of places, uh, so check out my website, fortunepeas.com.

• 59:08Tig Notaro?

  I am on tour and I will see you in Colorado Springs. I will see you in Rochester and Calgary. I'll see you in Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia. The list goes on and, oh, Fresno, Napa, tignotaro.com. That's where you can get all the show details. There will be more shows added and, um, I am going to be hitting bigger cities at some point.

• 59:38Tig Notaro?

  But this is where you can see me now. Tignotaro.com.

• 59:41Mae Martin?

  I am July 17th in Guelph, Ontario, playing music at the Hillside Festival. And then I'm in the Yellowknife, playing music on the 18th, 19th, I think. And then I'm back at Largo on July 29th.

• 59:59Tig Notaro?

  Love it.

• 59:59Mae Martin?

  And that's pretty much it.

• 1:00:00Tig Notaro?

  Great. Make sure to rate, review, and subscribe. It's so important for the show. We're also on YouTube and one day in advance on Hulu. Also, go to handsomepod.com for all the wonderful merch. May will play us out.

• 1:00:20Mae Martin?

  Until then.

• 1:00:21Tig Notaro?

  Next time.

• 1:00:22Mae Martin?

  Keep it handsome.

• 1:00:26Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolett. Email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 1:00:42Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast. What a podcast.

• 1:00:49Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:00:51Speaker 05

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 1:00:53Speaker 06

  And Hannah Simone.

• 1:00:54Speaker 05

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dogged.

• 1:01:16Speaker 06

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 1:01:29Speaker 05

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 1:01:40Speaker 06

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.