Handsome records a song!

Surprise! As a New Year's treat for you, Handsome recorded a song LIVE in studio, and we're sharing it with the world... today! We've received so many requests to cross something off the list, and our friends at Squarespace called our bluff and gave us the chance to do it. So we formed a band, wrote an original holiday CLASSIC, and built a website... all in one hilarious and chaotic holiday special. Cheers, and listen to our Handsome "Holiday Wishes" song at handsomebandsome.com http://handsomebandsome.com Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: HANDSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:30Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:48Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:20Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:35Mae Martin?

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:38Fortune Feimster?

  Hey, Handsoms, we're giving you something a little different today. Our friends at Squarespace heard that we wanted to start a band, so they suggested we record a hit single and then create a website to host it. So that's what we're gonna do, all in one episode. So you may want to go over to our YouTube page to check this one out, trust me. It's youtube.com/hansampod. Cheers!

• 2:01Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whatever your goals. Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, then showcase your offerings and grow your brand with a professional, personalized website that stands out from the rest. Maybe you're just starting out, or maybe you're looking to level up your business as we head into a new year. Either way, Squarespace has you covered.

• 2:26Tig Notaro?

  We use Squarespace to build our own website as Handsome starts to take our music career a little more seriously. We built a gorgeous website to showcase our new single and everything about it is as handsome as can be. Using Squarespace was a joy. Their ready to go templates look great and customization was a breeze. Your website is an extension of your brand, so make it shine with Squarespace.

• 2:54Mae Martin?

  What are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/Handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANDSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  Cheers.

• 3:20Mae Martin?

  Well, well, well. Welcome to a very special occasion.

• 3:25Fortune Feimster?

  An extra episode.

• 3:26Mae Martin?

  An extra ep-

• 3:27Fortune Feimster?

  Of the Handsome Pod.

• 3:28Mae Martin?

  On a Wednesday.

• 3:29Tig Notaro?

  On a, on hump day.

• 3:31Mae Martin?

  On hump day.

• 3:31Tig Notaro?

  A holiday. Tig Marie.

• 3:33Fortune Feimster?

  Tig Marie, it's a holiday miracle.

• 3:35Mae Martin?

  Guys, this is why we have to be really careful what we say on the pod.

• 3:39Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed.

• 3:40Mae Martin?

  Because sometimes it comes to life, it becomes real.

• 3:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:43Mae Martin?

  And that's what's happened today. I'm really pumped. I feel like we're finally like ticking something off the list in a way.

• 3:49Fortune Feimster?

  We are very much ticking something off the list. We said we wanted to start a handsome band.

• 3:54Mae Martin?

  Yes, a handsome band, do a song.

• 3:57Tig Notaro?

  On a Wednesday. We said we wanted to start a band on a Wednesday.

• 4:00Fortune Feimster?

  Very much on a Wednesday.

• 4:01Tig Notaro?

  New Year's Eve.

• 4:01Mae Martin?

  On New Year's Eve, no less.

• 4:03Tig Notaro?

  That is very specific.

• 4:05Fortune Feimster?

  Starting the new, ending the new, uh...

• 4:08Mae Martin?

  Ending the-

• 4:09Fortune Feimster?

  Ending the year.

• 4:10Tig Notaro?

  We know what you mean.

• 4:10Fortune Feimster?

  We know what you mean. Starting a new year.

• 4:13Tig Notaro?

  Checking something off the list.

• 4:14Mae Martin?

  Our friends at Squarespace heard this.

• 4:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:17Mae Martin?

  And they've now kind of, um-

• 4:19Tig Notaro?

  Are very good friends.

• 4:20Mae Martin?

  Our very, very close friends.

• 4:21Fortune Feimster?

  We love our friends at Squarespace.

• 4:23Mae Martin?

  They've now corralled us into actually producing a song.

• 4:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, they said if you guys make a song.

• 4:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:30Fortune Feimster?

  You can build a website on Squarespace that will host this song for people to listen to.

• 4:36Mae Martin?

  What's the point of making a song if you're not gonna try to get the people on board?

• 4:39Tig Notaro?

  They also did specify it has to be the greatest song ever written and recorded.

• 4:44Fortune Feimster?

  A lovely holiday song, too.

• 4:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:47Tig Notaro?

  They wanted a holiday classic.

• 4:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah, which is a tall order.

• 4:50Fortune Feimster?

  We deliver.

• 4:51Mae Martin?

  Allo Mariah Carey. Allo.

• 4:53Fortune Feimster?

  And I feel like.

• 4:54Tig Notaro?

  George Michael.

• 4:55Fortune Feimster?

  I feel like we're gonna be able to create something pretty magical.

• 4:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:59Mae Martin?

  Not a doubt in my mind.

• 5:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:01Tig Notaro?

  No, no.

• 5:01Mae Martin?

  No, we all waltzed in here today like, alright, let's get this done.

• 5:04Tig Notaro?

  First of all, we learned to waltz. We did learn to waltz. And we waltzed in here.

• 5:10Fortune Feimster?

  I actually am a very good waltzer.

• 5:12Tig Notaro?

  I am too. Actually, we did it on Star Trek.

• 5:14Mae Martin?

  You did? You waltzed on Star Trek?

• 5:16Tig Notaro?

  Season two, just hold on to your ponties.

• 5:19Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe you and I can waltz sometime.

• 5:21Mae Martin?

  Hey.

• 5:21Tig Notaro?

  Fortune.

• 5:22Mae Martin?

  What about me?

• 5:23Tig Notaro?

  And you too. Is there a three-person waltz?

• 5:26Mae Martin?

  Oh my god, why isn't there any three-person ballroom dance? Where you have your arms like this?

• 5:33Tig Notaro?

  Thruppals are popping up left and right.

• 5:35Mae Martin?

  Left and right and center.

• 5:36Tig Notaro?

  I guess.

• 5:37Mae Martin?

  Okay, well, that's also on the list.

• 5:40Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 5:40Fortune Feimster?

  So we're gonna have to today write a song. We're gonna have to come up with a Holly Bob's holiday song.

• 5:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah. You haven't any ideas?

• 5:47Fortune Feimster?

  Do you like singing, Tig?

• 5:49Tig Notaro?

  I love it.

• 5:49Fortune Feimster?

  You do?

• 5:50Tig Notaro?

  I'm one of the best out there.

• 5:53Tig Notaro?

  Why are you laughing?

• 5:55Mae Martin?

  I feel like I've heard you say before.

• 5:57Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 5:57Mae Martin?

  That you don't like singing.

• 5:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:59Tig Notaro?

  Well, things change.

• 6:00Mae Martin?

  Wow, you found your voice.

• 6:02Tig Notaro?

  I did. I found my voice. I've been working. I've been waltzing. I've been singing.

• 6:06Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 6:07Fortune Feimster?

  I feel like we are a triple threat here because we all bring something different to the table.

• 6:11Tig Notaro?

  In every category of life.

• 6:13Mae Martin?

  All of them. I mean, A, you are a musician.

• 6:16Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm. And the number one person on Star Meter.

• 6:19Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Tig Notaro?

  I've been tracking you still.

• 6:21Mae Martin?

  And you've been paying bots to keep voting me up, right?

• 6:25Tig Notaro?

  Yes, I'm keeping the bots.

• 6:27Fortune Feimster?

  I sing at church. We all know this.

• 6:29Mae Martin?

  Every Sunday.

• 6:30Tig Notaro?

  And by the way. Can you imagine?

• 6:33Mae Martin?

  What I did every Sunday? I would not be that shocked.

• 6:41Fortune Feimster?

  My mom would love it, but I don't.

• 6:43Mae Martin?

  Do you love the movie Sister Act?

• 6:44Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, of course.

• 6:46Mae Martin?

  You gotta make a sequel.

• 6:48Fortune Feimster?

  But do you like Sister Act one or two better? Two is like very close to my heart.

• 6:51Mae Martin?

  I think two, that might be one of the rare occasions.

• 6:54Tig Notaro?

  Lauren Hill. Do you like Sister Act three?

• 6:56Fortune Feimster?

  Is there a third one?

• 6:57Tig Notaro?

  I don't know, I was just wondering if you do.

• 6:59Mae Martin?

  I don't think there's a third one.

• 7:00Fortune Feimster?

  There's gotta be. But that movie was very instrumental in my high school years.

• 7:05Tig Notaro?

  Sister Act threesome.

• 7:07Mae Martin?

  Sister Act threesome.

• 7:09Fortune Feimster?

  There else? Ah, two, right, two, fun, top, bottom, top.

• 7:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:13Tig Notaro?

  I don't know the words. But wait, are you hearing my new, Sister Act threesome?

• 7:16Mae Martin?

  It's a lesbian nun musical.

• 7:18Tig Notaro?

  Nuns hook up.

• 7:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 7:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:22Fortune Feimster?

  This sounds dirty.

• 7:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:24Tig Notaro?

  Well, anyway.

• 7:25Fortune Feimster?

  Look who's being dirty today.

• 7:26Mae Martin?

  I know, well, it's New Year's Eve.

• 7:28Fortune Feimster?

  This one.

• 7:28Tig Notaro?

  Well, I'm turning over a new leaf.

• 7:30Fortune Feimster?

  Tig Marie.

• 7:31Mae Martin?

  And the underside is filthy.

• 7:32Tig Notaro?

  It is absolutely filthy.

• 7:34Fortune Feimster?

  Tig Marie is the dirty bird on New Year's Eve.

• 7:37Tig Notaro?

  Dirty bird gets the worm.

• 7:39Fortune Feimster?

  I guess so.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  That's the saying, right?

• 7:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:41Fortune Feimster?

  Well, if we are gonna create this song, which I have.

• 7:43Tig Notaro?

  Which we are.

• 7:44Fortune Feimster?

  We are gonna do this. I have all the faith in the world.

• 7:46Tig Notaro?

  That's why I got up, took a shower and headed over here.

• 7:49Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I'm so glad you smelled so good.

• 7:52Mae Martin?

  You're looking fresh, yeah. I couldn't sleep last night, I was too excited. Do you guys remember that I asked you what your holiday wishes are?

• 7:59Tig Notaro?

  I do. Yeah, I remember that.

• 8:01Mae Martin?

  Well, I feel like that's what we should base the song around.

• 8:04Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 8:04Mae Martin?

  My holiday wishes already come true because it's just to sing with my dear friends. To spend New Year's Eve.

• 8:10Tig Notaro?

  Can I get in there?

• 8:10Mae Martin?

  With my angels.

• 8:11Fortune Feimster?

  Remember that time where, when May was like, I don't know, if I could like make time.

• 8:15Tig Notaro?

  Fortune can you?

• 8:16Fortune Feimster?

  If I could freeze time.

• 8:18Tig Notaro?

  Freeze time.

• 8:19Fortune Feimster?

  All I wanted to do is hang out with you.

• 8:20Mae Martin?

  I think, I need to write about it.

• 8:22Tig Notaro?

  Adopt us in our tracks.

• 8:23Fortune Feimster?

  We would, actually, we just stare at you like.

• 8:26Mae Martin?

  I need to write like a Bryan Adams style song that's like, if I could stop time. And it's about you guys.

• 8:31Tig Notaro?

  It felt like the moment in a relationship of mine years ago, when the girl I was dating said, what are we gonna do for Thanksgiving? And I thought, oh wow, she thinks we're gonna be together.

• 8:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Tig Notaro?

  For Thanksgiving.

• 8:44Fortune Feimster?

  Brutal.

• 8:45Mae Martin?

  I feel like it was like early enough in the pod that you knew me pretty well, but maybe you didn't know where I stood in terms of like how I felt about you guys.

• 8:52Tig Notaro?

  And you didn't know where we stood and how we've found, you know?

• 8:54Fortune Feimster?

  No, I didn't.

• 8:55Mae Martin?

  I know, you were like, I would never.

• 8:57Tig Notaro?

  Little cowboy, you know we adore you.

• 8:58Mae Martin?

  I know it, I feel it. I feel supported, I feel loved.

• 9:02Tig Notaro?

  And when we walk into the same room together, it's a giddy love fest. Let's be honest.

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  It's a giddy love fest.

• 9:07Tig Notaro?

  Please, Fortune.

• 9:09Fortune Feimster?

  Do you like, no, we love tigs.

• 9:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Look at, I love a, see, I've got real hairy legs at the moment because I'm trying to see what that's like.

• 9:18Fortune Feimster?

  Little legs over here.

• 9:20Mae Martin?

  Look at those beautiful smooth.

• 9:23Fortune Feimster?

  They're not tiny legs, they're just legs. They're little. Well, you know what? They're like hanging off the couch, I love it. Well.

• 9:33Fortune Feimster?

  It's really good. That is delightful.

• 9:35Mae Martin?

  They do actually, they don't actually reach the ground.

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  No, no. What now it's taking Scoot's back like this?

• 9:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:41Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, I got us off track, holiday wishes.

• 9:43Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:44Fortune Feimster?

  Holiday wish, there's so many holiday wishes.

• 9:47Mae Martin?

  So we could all, we could build it into the song.

• 9:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, everyone can think about what their wishes might be.

• 9:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:53Fortune Feimster?

  I like that. I, I want our song to be very positive and upbeat because I feel like, you know, there were some ups and downs this last year.

• 10:00Mae Martin?

  I was thinking of kind of a Leonard Cohen style.

• 10:04Fortune Feimster?

  Drawling ballad. No, we're keeping it positive going into this new year.

• 10:10Tig Notaro?

  Do you think this is symbolic of anything?

• 10:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's a message.

• 10:15Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 10:15Mae Martin?

  About the bottom falling off this pod.

• 10:18Fortune Feimster?

  Um, okay, well, I think we should.

• 10:20Mae Martin?

  Get all of our unique styles into it.

• 10:23Fortune Feimster?

  I think, okay, here's my idea.

• 10:24Tig Notaro?

  Isn't it so fun to be unique?

• 10:31Mae Martin?

  Just to be ourselves?

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  To be ourselves.

• 10:33Tig Notaro?

  Isn't it a great thing?

• 10:34Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's amazing.

• 10:36Tig Notaro?

  It's so good to be unique.

• 10:37Fortune Feimster?

  It's so good to be unique.

• 10:38Mae Martin?

  Unique New York.

• 10:39Fortune Feimster?

  Here's what I think, I think we should all have our own verse.

• 10:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:43Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, in any style you want.

• 10:45Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 10:46Fortune Feimster?

  And then obviously some sort of chorus.

• 10:48Mae Martin?

  I'm shy.

• 10:49Fortune Feimster?

  You're nuts.

• 10:50Mae Martin?

  I am nervous to.

• 10:51Fortune Feimster?

  With music, really?

• 10:52Mae Martin?

  Just, yeah, it's scary singing in front of people.

• 10:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 10:55Mae Martin?

  Do you like karaoke in general?

• 10:57Fortune Feimster?

  Love.

• 10:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah, of course, yeah.

• 10:59Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god, so fun, do you like it?

• 11:02Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 11:02Mae Martin?

  I bet you, oh wait, you do shoop.

• 11:06Fortune Feimster?

  I do shoot.

• 11:07Mae Martin?

  Don't you know what the lyrics to?

• 11:08Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, here I go.

• 11:08Tig Notaro?

  Oh, no, I rap.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, you rap?

• 11:10Tig Notaro?

  I do Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

• 11:11Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's right.

• 11:12Tig Notaro?

  Or I'll do Burning Down the House, where when he's like...

• 11:15Fortune Feimster?

  Burning Down the House.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Three hundred sixty-five degrees. Burning Down the House.

• 11:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  My house.

• 11:25Tig Notaro?

  Like, I can sing that.

• 11:26Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 11:27Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I wouldn't tell David Byrne that I said I can sing that, but I do sing it.

• 11:32Fortune Feimster?

  I think we can find a way to bring your unique style to this.

• 11:37Tig Notaro?

  Cause that's what we have to remember is we're all unique.

• 11:39Mae Martin?

  We're very unique.

• 11:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we're so unique. And it's special to be unique.

• 11:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Not everyone is.

• 11:45Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 11:45Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 11:46Mae Martin?

  Actually...

• 11:47Fortune Feimster?

  Are they?

• 11:47Mae Martin?

  They are.

• 11:48Tig Notaro?

  They are.

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  They are.

• 11:49Tig Notaro?

  We take that back.

• 11:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we take that back.

• 11:51Tig Notaro?

  We take it back.

• 11:52Fortune Feimster?

  Everyone's got their own fingerprint.

• 11:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:55Fortune Feimster?

  That's unique.

• 11:56Mae Martin?

  I had to get my fingerprints done recently.

• 11:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy.

• 11:58Mae Martin?

  Applying for my...

• 11:59Fortune Feimster?

  You get arrested?

• 12:00Mae Martin?

  I got arrested. I got booked.

• 12:02Tig Notaro?

  All right, we could go either way with you.

• 12:05Tig Notaro?

  Trying to get citizenship or prison.

• 12:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  But that's what's unique about you.

• 12:11Mae Martin?

  That's what's unique about me. It was cool seeing my little, my fingerprints. I had to go into a notary, I'm applying for my green card. And then it was very intimate. He put on rubber gloves. I guess this doesn't sound intimate, actually.

• 12:22Tig Notaro?

  What did he do?

• 12:23Mae Martin?

  What is intimacy?

• 12:24Fortune Feimster?

  Where did the rubber gloves go?

• 12:26Mae Martin?

  He put on a rubber glove.

• 12:27Tig Notaro?

  Are you sure he followed protocol?

• 12:29Mae Martin?

  And then he like, took my hand and he gently hold it, held it, and he rolled my finger in the ink and then he rolled it on the page. But he was in a terrible mood. He was like annoyed that I even came in there, but...

• 12:39Fortune Feimster?

  We don't like that.

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  Did you ask him what was up?

• 12:41Mae Martin?

  I should've said, "Hey, man."

• 12:44Fortune Feimster?

  Did you, did you ask him what his holiday wishes were?

• 12:46Mae Martin?

  That's what I should've asked him.

• 12:48Tig Notaro?

  Way to bring it back into, um...

• 12:50Mae Martin?

  This is what I do.

• 12:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. It's like you've been in the biz for a while.

• 12:56Fortune Feimster?

  The biz.

• 12:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Mae Martin?

  Are your voices warmed up?

• 13:03Fortune Feimster?

  Hey, girl.

• 13:06Mae Martin?

  I, you know, I'm single, so I'm trying to find a wife.

• 13:10Fortune Feimster?

  Are you? Oh, is that, that's part of your holiday wish?

• 13:13Tig Notaro?

  Why not a husband?

• 13:13Mae Martin?

  Or a husband, but let's be honest.

• 13:15Fortune Feimster?

  I think you're gonna, I think May's gonna end up with a lady.

• 13:18Mae Martin?

  I think it would have to be such a special man.

• 13:21Fortune Feimster?

  It would have to be a dainty man.

• 13:23Mae Martin?

  Not necessarily, but just very emotionally.

• 13:25Fortune Feimster?

  I think you're gonna end up with a lady, is my opinion.

• 13:29Mae Martin?

  Listen.

• 13:29Fortune Feimster?

  What I think.

• 13:30Tig Notaro?

  I think you are, too.

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  I think you are, too, yeah.

• 13:33Tig Notaro?

  To be honest.

• 13:34Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 13:34Tig Notaro?

  That's where I see things going for you.

• 13:36Mae Martin?

  But maybe we could build into the song, like, kind of, I can try to romance the audience.

• 13:43Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yes.

• 13:44Mae Martin?

  If anyone's listening, they could.

• 13:45Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, like a little Boys to Men action.

• 13:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:48Tig Notaro?

  Boys to Men, they were so good.

• 13:50Fortune Feimster?

  They, they're still, I think they still perform.

• 13:52Mae Martin?

  Of course.

• 13:53Fortune Feimster?

  They're really good.

• 13:54Tig Notaro?

  Well, when I stop listening, then groups and bands are done.

• 13:57Mae Martin?

  Actually, when you leave a room, everything evaporates behind you.

• 14:01Fortune Feimster?

  Speaking of karaoke, a couple of years ago, for Joe Coy's birthday.

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:07Fortune Feimster?

  When he and Chelsea were together, she threw him a big birthday.

• 14:10Tig Notaro?

  Chelsea Clinton?

• 14:11Fortune Feimster?

  Chelsea Handler. She threw him a big birthday weekend, and we went to a bar that had, like, a sort of band, live band karaoke.

• 14:20Mae Martin?

  Oh, I like that.

• 14:21Fortune Feimster?

  And two of the guys from Boys to Men were there.

• 14:24Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 14:25Fortune Feimster?

  And were singing.

• 14:26Tig Notaro?

  Girl, why didn't you call me?

• 14:27Fortune Feimster?

  It was a couple of years ago. It was so cool.

• 14:30Tig Notaro?

  I didn't stop listening to Boys to Men until like a year ago.

• 14:34Fortune Feimster?

  They're amazing.

• 14:34Mae Martin?

  And did they sing their own songs?

• 14:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I can't remember, but, and then they also sang Joe Happy Birthday, and it was very soulful and sexy.

• 14:44Mae Martin?

  When a boy band sings Happy Birthday, or, like, an a cappella boy band Happy Birthday is something that pops up a lot.

• 14:51Tig Notaro?

  Do you say a cappella?

• 14:53Fortune Feimster?

  A cappella.

• 14:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 14:54Mae Martin?

  A cappella?

• 14:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you say a cappella.

• 14:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like pasta.

• 14:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but we, we've discovered that the Canadians do it differently.

• 15:01Mae Martin?

  A cappella.

• 15:02Tig Notaro?

  I would say do it wrong.

• 15:04Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 15:04Tig Notaro?

  How dare you.

• 15:05Mae Martin?

  But wait, isn't, okay, English is called English because it came from the English.

• 15:11Tig Notaro?

  You're.

• 15:12Mae Martin?

  And then, or isn't Canadian like closer to English?

• 15:16Tig Notaro?

  We don't know.

• 15:17Mae Martin?

  Anyway.

• 15:17Fortune Feimster?

  I think, here's what I think.

• 15:19Mae Martin?

  Acapella.

• 15:20Fortune Feimster?

  We're gonna take a minute.

• 15:21Tig Notaro?

  Aka.

• 15:21Fortune Feimster?

  Go each write our own verse.

• 15:23Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:23Fortune Feimster?

  And let's come back, bring it, bring what you got.

• 15:26Tig Notaro?

  Bring what you got.

• 15:27Fortune Feimster?

  And let's just do it.

• 15:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah, let's just.

• 15:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Mae Martin?

  Do this.

• 15:28Tig Notaro?

  Let's just do it.

• 15:29Mae Martin?

  Guys, wait.

• 15:30Tig Notaro?

  Guys, let's stop not doing it.

• 15:32Mae Martin?

  Let's just start doing it.

• 15:33Tig Notaro?

  Guys, do it.

• 15:34Fortune Feimster?

  We're about to make the best holiday wishes song ever.

• 15:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:38Fortune Feimster?

  All right, on three, go handsome. One, two, three. Go handsome.

• 15:43Tig Notaro?

  My arm got stuck.

• 15:48Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whatever your goals. They'll help you claim your domain, then they make it a snap to showcase your offerings and grow your brand with a personalized and professional website that stands out from the crowd. Whether you're just starting out or looking to level up your existing business, start with Squarespace for all your website needs.

• 16:16Mae Martin?

  Uh, Handsome has a new song out, um, which is pretty exciting. And we used Squarespace to design a bespoke handsome website to showcase our new single as well as our handsome mugs. Three people designing a website together is a little chaotic, but then again, so are we. And we are really happy with the end result. Who knows what we'll add to our Squarespace site down the line, but with Squarespace's powerful design tools, truly anything is possible.

• 16:42Tig Notaro?

  What are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 17:00Mae Martin?

  All right.

• 17:01Fortune Feimster?

  We wrote the song.

• 17:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:02Fortune Feimster?

  We're ready to go.

• 17:03Tig Notaro?

  We do. We did, we are.

• 17:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:05Mae Martin?

  Oh, someone's ready to record.

• 17:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 17:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I've done this before. I've been in a studio before.

• 17:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:11Mae Martin?

  You're like the George Martin of the group.

• 17:12Tig Notaro?

  For sure. It's not the Teddy Templeman.

• 17:15Mae Martin?

  Who's Teddy Templeman?

• 17:17Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know either.

• 17:17Tig Notaro?

  Producer Van Halen.

• 17:18Mae Martin?

  Oh, I love it.

• 17:19Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 17:20Mae Martin?

  Um, all right.

• 17:21Fortune Feimster?

  I'm excited to dig in.

• 17:22Mae Martin?

  Me too.

• 17:23Fortune Feimster?

  I think we should just go for it.

• 17:24Mae Martin?

  All right, let's do it.

• 17:25Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  The time of year to keep it handsome and spread good cheer. Pretty ladies and ladies staying warm by the fire. Ask yourself, what do you desire?

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Making handsome holiday wishes while you wash the dishes and listen to the pod. We keep it handsome with you. Making handsome holiday wishes. This is what our bliss is. Chat with friends, we keep it handsome with you. My holiday wish is to sing hymn to church next to an exec on a big town in search. They'll hear my voice and then my pennies to sing on the stage with mating and a larners. Oh.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Making handsome holiday wishes while you wash the dishes and listen to the pod. We keep it handsome with you. Making handsome holiday wishes. This is what our bliss is. Chat with friends, we keep it handsome with you.

• 18:49Tig Notaro?

  My name is Tig and I'm here to wish to always be handsome. You better work for my holiday wish. I'm gonna rap my part while we hear a may fact about Bonaparte.

• 19:02Mae Martin?

  Hey, girl, I know you've been lonely this year, but this holiday season, I just want you to remember in seventeen ninety-five, Napoleon Bonaparte wrote a romance novel. Oh, that's so interesting.

• 19:12Tig Notaro?

  May fact.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Making handsome holiday wishes while you wash the dishes and listen to the pod. We keep it handsome with you. Making handsome holiday wishes. This is what our bliss is. Chat. With friends, keep it handsome with you.

• 19:42Tig Notaro?

  Damn, we're good.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  What a podcast.

• 19:50Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 19:53Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 19:54Fortune Feimster?

  You guys.

• 19:55Tig Notaro?

  Nailed it.

• 19:57Fortune Feimster?

  I mean.

• 19:57Tig Notaro?

  We're good at what we do and we are unique.

• 20:00Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, come on.

• 20:01Tig Notaro?

  God, we're unique.

• 20:02Fortune Feimster?

  You guys, we really might need to keep this handsome man going.

• 20:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 20:06Fortune Feimster?

  I think it might have to go beyond the holidays.

• 20:09Mae Martin?

  How do we follow that, though?

• 20:10Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I think we have to get this up on the website we're gonna build.

• 20:16Mae Martin?

  We're gonna burst onto the scene with this as our first, yeah, single?

• 20:20Fortune Feimster?

  Well, and Valentine's Day is the next holiday.

• 20:23Mae Martin?

  Ooh, boy.

• 20:24Fortune Feimster?

  So we could do a sexy song.

• 20:27Mae Martin?

  Like a Marvin Gaye style.

• 20:28Fortune Feimster?

  A romantic song. That's a good idea, girl.

• 20:32Mae Martin?

  Okay, I'm really nervous to build this website.

• 20:34Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, Thomas is gonna help us. We're gonna build our Squarespace website because we want this song to just be available to whoever wants to partake in holiday wishes.

• 20:45Mae Martin?

  I wouldn't describe us as like the most tech savvy. You're pretty good, Fortune.

• 20:49Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I, I've never built a website before, but I like that this just sort of walks you through it. And that anybody that wants a website can build one.

• 20:59Mae Martin?

  Like Tig and I struggle to even record the pod sometimes.

• 21:02Tig Notaro?

  Even to get out of bed.

• 21:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah. To get the sound right. Like, I, so many times, I'm like, no one can hear me and I can hear no one and I have no idea.

• 21:12Tig Notaro?

  But, you know, it's like life, you know, half of it is you just, you show up.

• 21:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:17Tig Notaro?

  And that's what we've done. We've shown up with an intention.

• 21:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:21Tig Notaro?

  And it's, and we're gonna, we're gonna get through this.

• 21:24Mae Martin?

  Manifest this website. I mean, people say it's easy on Squarespace, so we're gonna find out if that's true.

• 21:29Tig Notaro?

  Squarespace says it's easy.

• 21:30Mae Martin?

  That's true.

• 21:31Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm. I did love this process of singing that song with y'all. I giggled a lot, like a little schoolgirl.

• 21:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, me too. It was very joyful.

• 21:39Tig Notaro?

  It's great to have that feeling. It's hard to get that feeling when you're an adult sometimes, to go have a childlike giggle.

• 21:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it really is.

• 21:47Fortune Feimster?

  Those are some true rituals.

• 21:48Mae Martin?

  You're right.

• 21:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:49Mae Martin?

  Um, Thomas, how are you feeling about helping us do this?

• 21:52Speaker 04

  I'm excited. So the first thing I did was I got us a domain.

• 21:56Fortune Feimster?

  What is it?

• 21:57Tig Notaro?

  We have a domain?

• 21:58Speaker 04

  We have a domain.

• 21:59Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 21:59Tig Notaro?

  Girl.

• 22:00Mae Martin?

  Thank you.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  You're welcome.

• 22:02Mae Martin?

  Thomas, boy, should we?

• 22:03Fortune Feimster?

  Girl.

• 22:04Mae Martin?

  Does it work to go?

• 22:05Fortune Feimster?

  No, he's also a girl.

• 22:06Tig Notaro?

  Everyone is a girl.

• 22:07Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay.

• 22:08Speaker 04

  So it's handsomebandsome.com.

• 22:11Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 22:11Tig Notaro?

  Handsome Bansom.

• 22:13Mae Martin?

  Handsome Bansom?

• 22:15Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yes, it is.

• 22:16Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 22:17Fortune Feimster?

  That's a start.

• 22:18Mae Martin?

  And what's the sort of?

• 22:19Fortune Feimster?

  It is.

• 22:20Mae Martin?

  I guess we're gonna have to decide like the homepage or picture or banner or something.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, so you'll see it all up. Do you guys see it up on the TV?

• 22:28Mae Martin?

  Okay, what's your site about?

• 22:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, so.

• 22:30Mae Martin?

  Bringing handsome.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  What do you want to type in?

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  Bringing handsome music to the people?

• 22:35Fortune Feimster?

  Sex, comedy, comedy music, entertainment.

• 22:39Mae Martin?

  Oh, it has to be one of those categories.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  We could do music.

• 22:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, music.

• 22:44Fortune Feimster?

  That's a great idea.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 22:46Mae Martin?

  Bands and musicians.

• 22:47Fortune Feimster?

  That's us.

• 22:48Mae Martin?

  That's us.

• 22:49Fortune Feimster?

  That's a band now.

• 22:51Tig Notaro?

  We're a band.

• 22:53Fortune Feimster?

  We're in a band. Let's send in voices.

• 22:55Mae Martin?

  We've got to start taking this seriously.

• 22:57Fortune Feimster?

  We want to, uh, just sell on-demand videos.

• 23:04Fortune Feimster?

  We want to showcase our work.

• 23:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, showcase our work.

• 23:07Fortune Feimster?

  Right?

• 23:08Mae Martin?

  And build community.

• 23:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 23:10Mae Martin?

  And.

• 23:11Fortune Feimster?

  And we wanna.

• 23:12Mae Martin?

  Sell access to group events.

• 23:15Fortune Feimster?

  And I'd love to get appointments.

• 23:18Mae Martin?

  I would love to get some appointments.

• 23:21Fortune Feimster?

  I think that's good, showcasing our work. We don't need get appointments. That will confuse it.

• 23:25Tig Notaro?

  Get appointments.

• 23:26Fortune Feimster?

  All right.

• 23:27Tig Notaro?

  We also do nails.

• 23:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:31Fortune Feimster?

  She's a template.

• 23:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, look at the alien.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  So these are all customizable, but it's sort of like this is our starting point is.

• 23:40Tig Notaro?

  I like that person with the sunglasses. They're cool.

• 23:43Mae Martin?

  One, hello down there.

• 23:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, we could be three aliens. We could put our backs up.

• 23:49Mae Martin?

  Goth styling, Don Mooney. These are all beautiful, I'll say that much.

• 23:54Fortune Feimster?

  My god, we're gonna be a very good-looking band.

• 23:57Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh.

• 23:57Fortune Feimster?

  The handsome bamsom. If you go back up a bit, Thomas, we like the alien one.

• 24:03Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:04Fortune Feimster?

  Cause there's three of them.

• 24:05Tig Notaro?

  Hello down there, we could be talking to Grandma's problem area.

• 24:09Fortune Feimster?

  And we just put, where it says hello there, we just put handsome, the handsome band. Yeah. And then underneath, it's like... And we could probably pick a different photo than the aliens. Oh, actually, you know what? The alien one seems like a different vibe. I think we should focus more music.

• 24:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh yeah, that's it.

• 24:27Fortune Feimster?

  That one says new album.

• 24:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 24:28Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do that one.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Uh, Sydney?

• 24:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think keeping it simple.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 24:33Fortune Feimster?

  Keeping it handsome.

• 24:34Tig Notaro?

  Keeping it handsome, yeah. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Okay, that one, and then click that, and then grab that, drag it over.

• 24:41Fortune Feimster?

  Grab that, drag it.

• 24:42Tig Notaro?

  Yep.

• 24:43Fortune Feimster?

  I think we put...

• 24:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's good.

• 24:45Fortune Feimster?

  I think we put, uh, the handsome band where Sydney is.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  Um, let me show you guys.

• 24:49Tig Notaro?

  That's a great idea.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  Okay, this, this is something cool. So, under colors, I can go to customize it.

• 24:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh yeah?

• 24:56Speaker 04

  And then I can go to edit palette.

• 24:58Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 24:59Fortune Feimster?

  Wow, I like that.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  I'm gonna upload the actual logo, and then these are all actually colors that are from our handsome logo.

• 25:06Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 25:07Tig Notaro?

  Amazing.

• 25:07Fortune Feimster?

  Great. How does it know how to do that?

• 25:10Tig Notaro?

  Because it's Squarespace.

• 25:12Fortune Feimster?

  It's remarkable.

• 25:13Tig Notaro?

  This is gonna be the best band website.

• 25:16Fortune Feimster?

  We'll put, we'll put holiday wishes song? Yeah, new single, holiday wishes. Our new single. Dropping January 1st. New single.

• 25:25Tig Notaro?

  Is that when it drops?

• 25:26Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 25:27Tig Notaro?

  Does it drop?

• 25:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, we might drop it today. Yeah, we're gonna drop it today.

• 25:31Tig Notaro?

  We're gonna drop it like a hot potato.

• 25:33Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 25:35Tig Notaro?

  We should write a song called Hot Potato.

• 25:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Yeah, we should.

• 25:38Tig Notaro?

  So we can drop it.

• 25:38Fortune Feimster?

  We have a lot of songs to write.

• 25:40Tig Notaro?

  There we go.

• 25:41Fortune Feimster?

  Why has no one done a song called Drop Hot Potato and then dropped? New holiday song?

• 25:46Mae Martin?

  Hot potato, it's dropping, it's dropping next week.

• 25:50Fortune Feimster?

  There we go. Uh huh, uh huh.

• 25:53Tig Notaro?

  I like that.

• 25:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 25:54Tig Notaro?

  Okay, raise it up a little bit.

• 25:56Fortune Feimster?

  There you go.

• 25:57Tig Notaro?

  That's perfect placing.

• 25:58Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 25:59Tig Notaro?

  Placement, I mean.

• 26:00Mae Martin?

  Very pleasing to the eye.

• 26:01Tig Notaro?

  Ooh, yes.

• 26:02Fortune Feimster?

  Out today?

• 26:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Fortune Feimster?

  Or do we put new holiday song? And then put holiday wishes and then put the date?

• 26:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah, holiday wishes and then.

• 26:12Tig Notaro?

  Is it too many holiday mentions?

• 26:16Fortune Feimster?

  How about new?

• 26:17Mae Martin?

  New single. New single, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:20Fortune Feimster?

  You're welcome. Good job. Takes a village.

• 26:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 26:24Tig Notaro?

  What a small village.

• 26:26Fortune Feimster?

  New single, yeah. Holiday wishes.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  Should it be handsome holiday wishes?

• 26:31Mae Martin?

  No, I think holiday wishes by the handsome band, right?

• 26:34Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 26:34Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah, because we're going to put the handsome band.

• 26:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, the handsome band.

• 26:38Tig Notaro?

  Do you think we'll go down as one of the greatest bands of all time?

• 26:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 26:43Fortune Feimster?

  Sure.

• 26:43Mae Martin?

  You think we're.

• 26:44Tig Notaro?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 26:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

• 26:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 26:46Speaker 04

  What do you want this to say? It doesn't have to say a date, it can say. By the handsome band?

• 26:52Mae Martin?

  No, because that's going to be the big writing, right? So maybe, maybe.

• 26:55Fortune Feimster?

  Unless, unless there you put the and then handsome band big.

• 27:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Fortune Feimster?

  And not have a date?

• 27:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:02Tig Notaro?

  How about that, T-Dog?

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 27:04Mae Martin?

  What I want is like.

• 27:05Tig Notaro?

  What do you want?

• 27:06Mae Martin?

  If I ever, God forbid, pass away, then I want.

• 27:09Tig Notaro?

  You will, by the way.

• 27:10Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, one day.

• 27:11Mae Martin?

  Says you.

• 27:13Fortune Feimster?

  Hopefully not soon.

• 27:13Mae Martin?

  I want like in my biography, I want this band to be the number one thing.

• 27:19Tig Notaro?

  Known mainly from the handsome band.

• 27:22Mae Martin?

  Band, holiday wishes.

• 27:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 27:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:24Tig Notaro?

  One of the singers from holiday wishes?

• 27:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, look at that.

• 27:28Tig Notaro?

  Well, that looks awesome.

• 27:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:31Tig Notaro?

  I love that. I honestly can't believe how easy this is.

• 27:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:35Tig Notaro?

  Like, why didn't we do this sooner?

• 27:37Mae Martin?

  Why?

• 27:37Tig Notaro?

  Nobody asked us to.

• 27:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:40Tig Notaro?

  Nobody asked for this, but we are delivering.

• 27:43Fortune Feimster?

  I just love that we're gonna have a website up and a song out immediately.

• 27:46Tig Notaro?

  I love that we have a band.

• 27:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  So I'm just gonna create a nice handsome green here.

• 27:52Tig Notaro?

  Mmm, green's my favorite color. Have you seen me travel with my green jacket and green suitcases?

• 27:57Fortune Feimster?

  Looks really good.

• 27:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Mae Martin?

  Has it always been your favorite color?

• 28:00Fortune Feimster?

  Bean.

• 28:01Tig Notaro?

  Nope, I used to love black and red.

• 28:04Mae Martin?

  Not everyone can pull off wearing red. You could. You could wear like a, I can see you in like a red matching sweatsuit.

• 28:11Tig Notaro?

  Mmm.

• 28:12Mae Martin?

  That'd be nice.

• 28:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 04

  Why don't we do this? Cause this is gonna change the whole look, is change the back, the actual background away from this, cause this isn't really

• 28:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  holiday.

• 28:21Mae Martin?

  Yes, holidays, yeah.

• 28:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we need a new background.

• 28:24Mae Martin?

  We don't want this mustard seed or whatever.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  So we can-

• 28:27Tig Notaro?

  Perfect.

• 28:29Fortune Feimster?

  Love it.

• 28:31Mae Martin?

  What options do they have for backgrounds?

• 28:35Fortune Feimster?

  Ooh.

• 28:36Tig Notaro?

  We need to, let's look up winter or snow.

• 28:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, oh.

• 28:40Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, that's a good idea.

• 28:42Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you.

• 28:42Mae Martin?

  Really good. Oh wow, look how magical that is.

• 28:45Fortune Feimster?

  I like the black with the flurries.

• 28:48Mae Martin?

  The black with the flurries.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Which one?

• 28:50Fortune Feimster?

  Black with, black with flurries. The second, maybe the second one?

• 28:53Mae Martin?

  I'll take a black with flurries.

• 28:55Tig Notaro?

  For 500?

• 28:56Fortune Feimster?

  With that one, right?

• 28:58Mae Martin?

  That's nice, and then we would just change the writing to-

• 29:01Tig Notaro?

  You don't want them, the writing black?

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, do you guys like that one?

• 29:05Mae Martin?

  Um, yeah, I like that, and then if the writing's green and red-

• 29:07Fortune Feimster?

  Or the, or the writing's red.

• 29:10Mae Martin?

  Red, yeah.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  Red writing?

• 29:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, red writing.

• 29:12Fortune Feimster?

  Red writing, red writing.

• 29:13Tig Notaro?

  Red writing.

• 29:16Mae Martin?

  The writing is red.

• 29:18Tig Notaro?

  This is really-

• 29:19Fortune Feimster?

  Now we're talking.

• 29:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it has kind of a cool nineties feel.

• 29:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 29:25Tig Notaro?

  That's so us.

• 29:27Mae Martin?

  That is so us.

• 29:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god, look at this.

• 29:30Mae Martin?

  Which snowflake are you, girl?

• 29:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, girl, I'm the one right under the age.

• 29:35Mae Martin?

  I'm the one-

• 29:36Tig Notaro?

  But I think that's obvious.

• 29:37Mae Martin?

  That's just half tucked away at the top there.

• 29:39Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh, Fortune's not even on there.

• 29:42Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 29:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, make that red also. There you go. That looks good.

• 29:47Fortune Feimster?

  Are we able to get the and handsome man closer together? Oh, there we go.

• 29:52Tig Notaro?

  That's a good idea, Fortune.

• 29:54Mae Martin?

  Fortune, you've got a marketing brain.

• 29:57Tig Notaro?

  You know? Yeah, it's like you, have you done this before? Have you made a Squarespace?

• 30:02Fortune Feimster?

  I've never done this.

• 30:03Tig Notaro?

  What about a band?

• 30:04Fortune Feimster?

  Have you ever made a band? Never been in a band either.

• 30:06Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever written a holiday song?

• 30:07Fortune Feimster?

  Never wrote a holiday, any song.

• 30:09Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever dropped a hot potato?

• 30:10Fortune Feimster?

  I have not done that either.

• 30:12Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 30:12Mae Martin?

  If we find out that you have another band?

• 30:15Fortune Feimster?

  You guys, I would never, I would never betray you like that.

• 30:18Tig Notaro?

  Look me in the eye and tell me.

• 30:19Fortune Feimster?

  Tig?

• 30:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Fortune Feimster?

  I don't have another band.

• 30:21Tig Notaro?

  Look me in my droopy eye and you tell me.

• 30:24Fortune Feimster?

  Hey, droopy eye.

• 30:25Tig Notaro?

  Does my eye, is it drooping right now? This one?

• 30:27Fortune Feimster?

  It doesn't seem droopy. I thought you got it fixed.

• 30:30Tig Notaro?

  No, I can't until March.

• 30:31Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Okay, now we should add the song.

• 30:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we should. Let's add the song. What if we forgot to add the song?

• 30:41Fortune Feimster?

  Don't do that, girl.

• 30:42Tig Notaro?

  Girl.

• 30:43Fortune Feimster?

  I like a "Listen up." I like the top left one.

• 30:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, simple.

• 30:48Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it simple.

• 30:49Mae Martin?

  Small.

• 30:49Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it handsome.

• 30:50Mae Martin?

  Keep it handsome.

• 30:51Tig Notaro?

  And I like that we're yelling at our listeners.

• 30:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 30:54Mae Martin?

  Listen up.

• 30:54Tig Notaro?

  Listen up.

• 30:56Fortune Feimster?

  Or we just put "Listen."

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm gonna put this one under.

• 31:00Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:01Speaker 04

  So now when we scroll down.

• 31:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Girl, well done, girl.

• 31:08Mae Martin?

  We are cooking with gas.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  Uh, okay, do you want to put a little message here to the listener?

• 31:14Fortune Feimster?

  How about?

• 31:15Tig Notaro?

  Like, "Listen with caution."

• 31:16Fortune Feimster?

  Check out the handsome man's first ever single.

• 31:20Tig Notaro?

  And final.

• 31:22Mae Martin?

  First and last single.

• 31:24Fortune Feimster?

  Final.

• 31:24Mae Martin?

  First and final single.

• 31:26Fortune Feimster?

  First and final single.

• 31:29Mae Martin?

  We hope it brings you holiday cheer.

• 31:32Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, that's perfect.

• 31:33Mae Martin?

  We hope it fills your heart with handsome joy.

• 31:37Fortune Feimster?

  Handsome man's first and final.

• 31:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and stuff. We hope it fills your hearts with joy.

• 31:48Mae Martin?

  Amen. With joy and stuff. Yeah, great.

• 31:51Tig Notaro?

  With joy and stuff.

• 31:53Fortune Feimster?

  Are we keeping listen up?

• 31:54Mae Martin?

  Maybe we lose the amen.

• 31:55Tig Notaro?

  What about with joy and stuff and things?

• 31:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, and take out amen and things. Do we want to put listen or listen up? Check it out?

• 32:04Mae Martin?

  Check it out. Check it out. That's very, uh, modern and...

• 32:09Tig Notaro?

  Check it, bitches.

• 32:11Fortune Feimster?

  There we go. Check it out. Oh, we do say it twice.

• 32:15Mae Martin?

  No, no, it's too aggressive. It's making me feel sweaty.

• 32:19Tig Notaro?

  I love it.

• 32:20Fortune Feimster?

  Do we want to check it out twice?

• 32:24Tig Notaro?

  If you're naughty or nice.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Well, this could be listen too.

• 32:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 32:29Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, you guys don't like, "Check it out, bitches"?

• 32:33Tig Notaro?

  Whatever.

• 32:33Mae Martin?

  Listen.

• 32:34Tig Notaro?

  May.

• 32:35Mae Martin?

  It's what makes you unique.

• 32:36Tig Notaro?

  You used to do drugs and you won't let us say bitches?

• 32:40Mae Martin?

  I was the politest drug addict of all time.

• 32:43Tig Notaro?

  Check it out, bitches.

• 32:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  You can make this red, too.

• 32:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay, Thomas, now you're...

• 32:48Tig Notaro?

  And why are we taking the eye out?

• 32:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 32:51Tig Notaro?

  No, I do like that. I like that.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  And then this, I will add the song in once it's mixed.

• 32:57Tig Notaro?

  That's right, because we gotta mix it.

• 32:58Fortune Feimster?

  Should we put in like a mug full of soy nog?

• 33:01Speaker 04

  I have a pitch, which is that you could all take a selfie right now and then send it to me and I can upload it to the website.

• 33:08Mae Martin?

  It's that easy?

• 33:09Tig Notaro?

  I love doing selfies.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  It's that easy, May.

• 33:12Fortune Feimster?

  Who wants to take it?

• 33:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, I thought you meant individual selfies.

• 33:16Tig Notaro?

  Oh, individual or a group?

• 33:17Mae Martin?

  A group.

• 33:18Fortune Feimster?

  A group, right?

• 33:18Speaker 04

  I think a group.

• 33:19Fortune Feimster?

  I have a big ol' zit on my face.

• 33:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, it's, then you're like Rudolph.

• 33:23Fortune Feimster?

  Here, handsome's behind us. May, come over here.

• 33:25Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 33:27Tig Notaro?

  We could do it like, um, Charlie's Angels.

• 33:30Mae Martin?

  How are our droopy eyes? Yeah, happy with that. Happy with that.

• 33:33Fortune Feimster?

  Let me see? Yep.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  Uh, okay, so let's replace this with...

• 33:39Tig Notaro?

  Santa Claus.

• 33:40Mae Martin?

  Santa baby. Krampus.

• 33:43Mae Martin?

  Krampus is like the sort of evil version of Santa, right? Anyway.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  With this.

• 33:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, put that in there.

• 33:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 33:51Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh, I cannot even believe how cute we are.

• 33:57Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa.

• 33:59Mae Martin?

  We should have put a filter on that.

• 34:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh, guys.

• 34:03Fortune Feimster?

  Do you want me to put a filter on that?

• 34:05Tig Notaro?

  Look how shiny our faces are.

• 34:08Mae Martin?

  We're shiny.

• 34:10Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 34:11Tig Notaro?

  No one can say we didn't shower.

• 34:13Fortune Feimster?

  Thomas put a filter on that later.

• 34:15Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, fix it.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  I'll do a little tinkering later.

• 34:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, tinker with that.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  But this is really nice.

• 34:20Tig Notaro?

  Can you take my gray out and my yellow teeth?

• 34:25Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 34:26Tig Notaro?

  Judging ourselves now.

• 34:28Fortune Feimster?

  I love it. I think that this website is perfect.

• 34:31Mae Martin?

  People are gonna go to handsomebandsome.com, then they're gonna see that?

• 34:36Speaker 04

  So they'll go here, they'll see this.

• 34:38Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  They'll scroll down.

• 34:41Tig Notaro?

  They'll be called a bitch.

• 34:46Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's perfect.

• 34:47Tig Notaro?

  And then Shazam.

• 34:48Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 34:49Mae Martin?

  And it's user-friendly.

• 34:51Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 34:52Tig Notaro?

  Click, drag.

• 34:54Fortune Feimster?

  You too can have your producer build a point.

• 34:57Tig Notaro?

  While he sit on the couch and point and make bad suggestions.

• 35:03Fortune Feimster?

  Do this, do this.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Why don't we have it say handsomebandsome.com? Cause that's this website.

• 35:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 35:13Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Beautiful.

• 35:14Fortune Feimster?

  I love it. It's perfect.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 35:18Tig Notaro?

  I love us.

• 35:19Fortune Feimster?

  I love us too.

• 35:20Tig Notaro?

  I'm so into being us.

• 35:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, me too.

• 35:24Tig Notaro?

  Especially because we're unique.

• 35:25Fortune Feimster?

  We're so unique.

• 35:26Tig Notaro?

  Well, this was so fun.

• 35:27Fortune Feimster?

  So fun.

• 35:28Mae Martin?

  I'm glad we did this.

• 35:29Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 35:30Tig Notaro?

  I can't wait to go home and click on our website.

• 35:32Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 35:33Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna be just refreshing it all day.

• 35:36Fortune Feimster?

  I know. Well, if you two wanna do your own website, Squarespace is where it's at.

• 35:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that was very easy and fun. And so when, by the time this episode drops, the website will also have dropped.

• 35:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 35:50Tig Notaro?

  And the song will drop.

• 35:51Mae Martin?

  And the song will drop.

• 35:52Tig Notaro?

  And the potato.

• 35:53Fortune Feimster?

  And the potato.

• 35:54Tig Notaro?

  Drop that potato.

• 35:55Mae Martin?

  handsomebandsome.com.

• 35:56Fortune Feimster?

  Well, thank you guys for being a part of our journey. I hope you enjoyed this as much as we did.

• 36:02Tig Notaro?

  And girl, thank you. Girl, thank you. Girl, thank you.

• 36:06Mae Martin?

  Thank you.

• 36:06Fortune Feimster?

  All right, well, until next time.

• 36:09Mae Martin?

  Until next time.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Keep it handsome! The hollybob's are the time of year To keep it handsome and spread good cheer. Pretty ladies and ladies staying warm by the fire. Ask yourself, what do you desire?

• 36:28Speaker 03

  Making handsome holiday wishes While you wash the dishes and listen to the pod. We keep it handsome with you! Making handsome holiday wishes. This is what our bliss is. Chat with friends, we keep it handsome with you! My holiday wish is to sing hymn to church Next to an exec on a big town search. They'll hear my voice, send in my pennies To sing on the stage with mating adorers. Oh! Making handsome holiday wishes

• 37:12Speaker 03

  While you wash the dishes and listen to the pod. We keep it handsome with you! Making handsome holiday wishes. This is what our bliss is. Chat with friends, we keep it handsome with you!

• 37:34Tig Notaro?

  My name is Tig and I'm here to wish to always be handsome. You better work for my holiday wish. I'm gonna rap my part while we hear a may fact about Bonaparte.

• 37:46Mae Martin?

  Hey girl, I know you've been lonely this year. But this holiday season, I just want you to remember In 1795, Napoleon Bonaparte wrote a romance novel. Oh, that's so interesting.

• 37:56Tig Notaro?

  May fact.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  Making handsome holiday wishes While you wash the dishes and listen to the pod. We keep it handsome with you! Making handsome holiday wishes. This is what our bliss is. This is Chad with Friends, keeping handsome with you. Ha ha ha. Damn, we're good. What a podcast!

• 38:36Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media @handsomepod.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  What a podcast!

• 38:58Speaker 03

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.