Breckin Meyer asks about breakups

Breckin Meyer (Clueless, Robot Chicken) asks Handsome about heartbreak and whether they hold on to memories. Plus Fortune missing her shot at motorboating Drew Barrymore, Tig's foray into plastic surgery, and the birth of the Peanut Butter B****! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:25Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:48Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers.

• 1:49Tig Notaro?

  Hey, it's your friend Tig Notaro on the Handsome Pod. I'm sitting here with my co-host.

• 1:54Mae Martin?

  Mae Martin.

• 1:56Fortune Feimster?

  And Fortune Feimster.

• 1:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, good to see you guys. We did live recordings yesterday. I've been thinking a lot about them, how fun and electrifying that is to be in the same room with the loves of my life.

• 2:11Fortune Feimster?

  I know. Getting kisses. I mean, we lit up. Let's be honest. We lit up.

• 2:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's my stage name is let's be honest.

• 2:24Fortune Feimster?

  Lesbian.

• 2:26Tig Notaro?

  I am the lesbian that tells the truth.

• 2:29Fortune Feimster?

  I like that.

• 2:31Tig Notaro?

  Speaking of, I do want to mention that, well, I did our friend Tom Papa's podcast.

• 2:40Mae Martin?

  You were lesbian, you were lesbianist on that.

• 2:42Tig Notaro?

  I was lesbianist and.

• 2:45Fortune Feimster?

  I know Tom Papa. I've done a radio show with him for the last five years on Circa Six Him.

• 2:49Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you do know him?

• 2:51Fortune Feimster?

  You know this, you've been on our show.

• 2:55Fortune Feimster?

  But you did his own podcast.

• 2:57Tig Notaro?

  Yes, I did. I love Tom. I think he's one of the funniest comedians. He's just, he's so, I love ridiculousness.

• 3:05Fortune Feimster?

  I know. He's great.

• 3:06Tig Notaro?

  He is a silly, silly man.

• 3:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Well, you, it got picked up by the news.

• 3:12Tig Notaro?

  It did because, but I didn't know. That's what I was telling you guys before the podcast is I was getting texts and emails from friends that I was a little surprised, listened to Tom Papa's podcast. One of the people that reached out was Lucy Lawless from the show Xena. And, you know, she's living in, in New Zealand.

• 3:36Fortune Feimster?

  New Zealand? No.

• 3:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy. Here we go.

• 3:39Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 3:40Tig Notaro?

  Living on her farm. And then I, I get this email. I actually, I didn't even know what it was about at first because she was like, saying.

• 3:50Fortune Feimster?

  Did she start it with, hello lesbianists?

• 3:54Tig Notaro?

  Sure did. No, she was just like, hey, Rob, that's her husband. She said, Rob and I are so proud of you for speaking out. And, and I, I honestly thought for a second that she sent the wrong, like an email to the wrong person. And I was, I was like, I'm going to write her later in the day. And I kept getting these texts and emails like, hey, you know, thanks for speaking out and, and I. Oh, hey, I listened to Tom. My friend who lives in France wrote me and he said, hey, loved you on Tom Papa's, what you said on Tom Papa's show. And I was like, God, not

• 4:34Tig Notaro?

  that Tom isn't a loved and popular comedian or podcaster, but it was, they were just friends that I was just a little surprised that they, that that was their, that was their wheelhouse in podcasting. And I meanwhile, later found out that my manager reached out and said, just so you know, Fox News reached out wanting to talk to you because of what you said about Cheryl Hines on Tom's podcast.

• 5:09Mae Martin?

  Right. Because you, I mean, I feel like you've spoken around it on this pod, but this was the first time that you were sort of directly.

• 5:16Tig Notaro?

  Addressed it.

• 5:17Mae Martin?

  Directly asked about it.

• 5:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I didn't feel like, I thought it was clear where I stood. I had a podcast with her. I had a longstanding friendship. She was, you know, just a really important person in my life. I loved being ridiculous with her.

• 5:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you guys were very funny together.

• 5:37Tig Notaro?

  It was silliness. And I remember, you know, I forgot that Tom listened to that podcast. And so when I was on his show, it wasn't like a setup. I didn't know he was going to ask me, but he was asking or brought up that show. And, and as I was talking to him, I was thinking, oh, right. I remember him writing me from time to time about different episodes. So, but yeah, we would talk about a different podcast or a different documentary every week, but barely. We mainly just talked about who we were attracted to and on the documentary. And, and then we would do live streams where we would like slap each other

• 6:18Tig Notaro?

  in the face and take shots. And it wasn't terribly, it wasn't terribly presidential or political, you know?

• 6:27Mae Martin?

  Not political at all.

• 6:29Tig Notaro?

  No, not in the slightest bit.

• 6:31Mae Martin?

  God, that's so, um, it makes it so much more heartbreaking that because yeah, that was so such a golden moment and friendship, but I, well, I didn't hear what you said on Tom's.

• 6:43Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't hear it either. I don't know what was said.

• 6:46Tig Notaro?

  I just, I just basically said that, just that she was one of my favorites and somebody I absolutely loved being silly. One of my favorite things to do is find a bit and tee somebody up to do something stupid and ridiculous. Like I love to sit back and like, you know, be like, oh yeah, and how would that look?

• 7:07Mae Martin?

  Entertain me.

• 7:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. And, um, and so Cheryl, I don't know. She was just, uh, a real bright spot in my life and, um,

• 7:20Mae Martin?

  And for people who don't know, Cheryl is married to RFK Junior.

• 7:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:26Mae Martin?

  Who has some,

• 7:28Fortune Feimster?

  Wild opinions.

• 7:29Mae Martin?

  Wild opinions.

• 7:31Fortune Feimster?

  In the power to, has the power now to enact some of these things.

• 7:34Mae Martin?

  To like legislate his wild opinions.

• 7:37Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah. And he's also a part of an administration where they are, um,

• 7:43Mae Martin?

  Ruining.

• 7:44Tig Notaro?

  There's a lot of issues that I do not believe in, that he is endorsing, that Cheryl is clearly endorsing.

• 7:53Mae Martin?

  And it must've been confusing as a friend, but it's almost like, because I feel like initially it was, it, there was a separation of like, well, yeah, he's got his opinions, but you know, and then it slowly has become like, like sort of, must be sort of validating that you were like, oh no, this is a problem because now it clearly has evolved into, you know.

• 8:17Tig Notaro?

  But that's, that's what I talked about on Tom's podcast is that. She says, you know, that we don't agree on everything. And I think having such a vague statement, you can choose to think that she really doesn't believe in a lot of what he's doing. But my point is Stephanie and I don't agree on the temperature in our house, but I would not frame it like Stephanie and I don't agree on everything.

• 8:48Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 8:48Tig Notaro?

  You know, you know what I'm saying? It's, it's just, it's too vague and there's too much of a gap there.

• 8:55Mae Martin?

  And yeah, it's very strange. And, and well, like Thomas was saying, I think a lot of people can relate to this of having someone they love in their family or a friend who's just sort of drifting into a pretty extreme ideology. And, and how do you maintain a relationship? And where's your, where do you draw the line? And I think it's.

• 9:18Tig Notaro?

  Well, and it took me, honestly, it took me a while to draw a line because I, I continued to reach out to Cheryl and say, you know, hey, I'm thinking about you. Hey, I hope you're doing okay. Hey, I'm sending love and, and I care about you. And she would respond really pleasantly and friendly and say, oh, thank you for this. And I was open to, hey, let's remain friendly. And yeah, this, you know, you know, I, I cared about, I care about Cheryl.

• 9:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:52Tig Notaro?

  That doesn't change. It's just, it's, it's hard to pretend like it's weird that anybody's confused because it's a real about face. It is a real about face. So I, I didn't sever the friendship, but I did notice that once he was running for president and once I stepped away from our old podcast, I never heard from her again, other than nice responses to me sending love. When I thought, maybe she needs support or maybe she's feeling this way or that, based on what I knew of her.

• 10:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah. So.

• 10:33Mae Martin?

  Well, so that's been your, your week is, or was it yesterday? You got all these messages?

• 10:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think, yeah, it just started popping up this morning.

• 10:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, right.

• 10:41Tig Notaro?

  Well, no, I mean, for me, yesterday, yesterday morning is I woke up to my email from Lucy Lawless and then I, I continued to get-

• 10:49Mae Martin?

  Surreal sentence for me, like that would make my day.

• 10:54Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, again, I was like, wow, Lucy follows Tom Papa's podcast. That's so cool.

• 11:01Tig Notaro?

  And then I, I did, I thought, I thought all these people were just listening to Tom's podcast. And maybe they are, but then my manager reached out and said, Fox News wanted to talk to you. And, um,

• 11:14Fortune Feimster?

  I can't wait for you to go on Fox News.

• 11:16Mae Martin?

  I can't wait.

• 11:17Tig Notaro?

  And then I drift into Madja.

• 11:20Mae Martin?

  You're like, actually, they had a lot of good points.

• 11:22Fortune Feimster?

  All of a sudden things like, I would like to amp this other podcast back up with Cheryl again.

• 11:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, they do, you know? But that's the thing is I did, I, she and I had like a four hour conversation and, and she went through different issues and encouraged me to sit down with Bobby. And I was like, let me think on this. And then I woke up and I was like, yeah, no, thank you.

• 11:48Fortune Feimster?

  Well, what's at stake for y'alls own personal lives is very different too. Like, that's what people don't really realize. It's not just the like, you have your opinion, I have mine. Like, your life is affected by, you know, these legis, this legislation that could, you know?

• 12:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, when it's like fundamentally about whether you or, or any demographic should have fewer rights, then you kind of, there's-

• 12:16Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely, you know?

• 12:18Mae Martin?

  Where do you go from there?

• 12:19Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 12:19Mae Martin?

  Is there anything, can we try and say something on the pod that gets picked up by Fox News? Is there anything, can we throw something?

• 12:25Fortune Feimster?

  No, thank you.

• 12:28Tig Notaro?

  We want to diversify our listenership.

• 12:31Fortune Feimster?

  I don't like being in that crossbar. I've been there before. It's not fun.

• 12:35Mae Martin?

  You're right, actually. Let's keep our heads below the parapet.

• 12:40Fortune Feimster?

  I have gotten death threats before. Have you?

• 12:44Tig Notaro?

  Well, see, and that's the thing is, is when Bobby, you know, was running for president and then endorsed Trump, and I was still tied to Cheryl in ways, that was the other issue was, this isn't my world. I am, this is not my world. And if you're choosing to go into that world, that is your business, but I have to step outside because I didn't know, and I still don't know where this road is going, but it's not one that I'm interested in.

• 13:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's just not what your lane is.

• 13:18Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 13:18Fortune Feimster?

  Anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:21Tig Notaro?

  Anyway.

• 13:22Fortune Feimster?

  Anywho's. Anywho's. Anyone else have any friends they're not doing podcasts with?

• 13:30Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I did want to mention to you guys. I'm out. Oh, no. Just kidding.

• 13:37Tig Notaro?

  I also want to warn you guys, remember how I had a droopy eyelid?

• 13:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, yeah. I was gonna check, we wanted to check.

• 13:43Tig Notaro?

  I had my three hour doctor appointment yesterday.

• 13:46Fortune Feimster?

  Three hours?

• 13:47Tig Notaro?

  Well, because it could be very minor to a stroke to a tumor. So I was, I was kind of like, oh, boy, come on, man, come on. And so, um, hey, it's all right. It's just the muscle. But I do have to get eyelid surgery. So this is going to be my first parlay into face work.

• 14:11Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God. You're getting a beauty surgery.

• 14:15Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes.

• 14:17Fortune Feimster?

  Hilarious.

• 14:18Tig Notaro?

  Do you see this, this eye?

• 14:21Fortune Feimster?

  I hope you recover at a fancy Beverly Hills hotel.

• 14:24Tig Notaro?

  It's gonna take me a couple of weeks to recover, but there are gonna be before and after pictures.

• 14:29Fortune Feimster?

  Will you please do a podcast on one eye?

• 14:32Mae Martin?

  Well.

• 14:33Tig Notaro?

  No, I'm also, I'm gonna do a, um, a plastic surgery podcast.

• 14:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:38Tig Notaro?

  As like an expert.

• 14:40Mae Martin?

  But does this mean you're gonna be wearing an eye patch for a period of time?

• 14:43Tig Notaro?

  God, they didn't say.

• 14:45Fortune Feimster?

  Please do a podcast with an eye patch.

• 14:46Mae Martin?

  Please.

• 14:47Tig Notaro?

  They didn't say I had to, but I might, just to make it dramatic.

• 14:51Fortune Feimster?

  Well, if you do, do the eye patch and the mustache.

• 14:54Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 14:55Tig Notaro?

  Wait, what mustache? I don't have a mustache.

• 14:58Fortune Feimster?

  When you do your mustache.

• 15:00Mae Martin?

  Stop.

• 15:01Tig Notaro?

  Sorry, girl.

• 15:03Mae Martin?

  In solidarity, I'll, um, I'll wear an eye patch or I'll punch myself in the eye. So I got a black eye.

• 15:07Tig Notaro?

  No, May.

• 15:08Fortune Feimster?

  Do that, May.

• 15:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Tig Notaro?

  Anyway, there's all my news. Let's hear yours.

• 15:13Fortune Feimster?

  Wow. Look at you just hitting the new, the old news circuit.

• 15:18Tig Notaro?

  Fox News and Facebook. Classic TIG updates.

• 15:22Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 15:27Mae Martin?

  My news is, um, I didn't sleep very well. That's not really fun news, but next week I'm going to New York and I'm doing, um, Drew Barrymore's show and Kelly Clarkson.

• 15:39Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, right.

• 15:40Mae Martin?

  So excited. I've been trying to do Drew Barrymore's show forever. You guys both know her. I've never met her. I'm hoping that.

• 15:48Fortune Feimster?

  You're gonna be in love. You'll love her.

• 15:49Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna be in love. I know it. I'm gonna be eye contact, holding hands.

• 15:54Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah. Please hold hands. Oh, my Lord.

• 15:57Tig Notaro?

  She would snuggle with you on the couch. Anything goes with Drew, okay?

• 16:01Mae Martin?

  I'm just so scared that I'm gonna be the one person who she's like six feet away from me.

• 16:06Fortune Feimster?

  No, no, no.

• 16:07Tig Notaro?

  There's no world. There's no world.

• 16:08Fortune Feimster?

  I should have motor boated Drew when I did her show. I have regrets.

• 16:11Tig Notaro?

  Fortune. Marie.

• 16:15Fortune Feimster?

  Out here in the open, motorboating.

• 16:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. You say it like it was your choice and you just decided not to.

• 16:28Fortune Feimster?

  I think Drew would have been totally fine with it.

• 16:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I guess you're right.

• 16:34Mae Martin?

  But do you guys have any tips for for doing shows like that or Kelly Clarkson? Like, or is there anything?

• 16:40Fortune Feimster?

  Outfit picked?

• 16:42Mae Martin?

  Girl, you know I do. No, I don't.

• 16:44Fortune Feimster?

  Is it sleeveless? Come on.

• 16:47Mae Martin?

  No, I I've lost my definition on the old triceps.

• 16:51Fortune Feimster?

  I would say that of all the people that you could be doing interviews with, these are two of the friendliest. There's truly nothing to be nervous about with either of them because they're both chatters and they're both very warm people.

• 17:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like it'll be a legit conversation.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah, for sure. And Kelly's just like, I don't want to brag. I've done Kelly's show 10 times, the most of anyone on the Kelly Clarkson Show. I've gotten a jacket. I've gotten a years free Jenny's ice cream. Oh, my Lord.

• 17:22Mae Martin?

  A years free Jenny's ice cream?

• 17:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, when I did 10 episodes, they gave me a

• 17:26Mae Martin?

  Holy shit.

• 17:27Fortune Feimster?

  Year of Jenny's, which I shared with my manager. I can't just eat it all by myself.

• 17:34Tig Notaro?

  Did you share?

• 17:35Fortune Feimster?

  I share, girl.

• 17:37Mae Martin?

  So I'm gonna be asking about that. I mean, should I? Should I pass on a message to either of them?

• 17:44Fortune Feimster?

  To Kelly? Well, Kelly knows that I am obsessed with her voice. I have been talking about Kelly and her singing since Chelsea Lately days.

• 17:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:55Fortune Feimster?

  She's incredible.

• 17:56Mae Martin?

  You know, you do your pre-interview with the producer to go over what you're gonna talk about. So for for the Drew show, they were like, oh, we heard that you guys talk about Drew quite a bit on the pod. Like, she's like a friend. I was like, yeah, I guess she does come up quite a bit. But they're like, what do you say about her? I was like, I don't know. What am I gonna say? A fortune? She didn't motorboat?

• 18:16Fortune Feimster?

  I think we just have always commented on that she's so fun and friendly and we like that she doesn't have any personal space boundaries.

• 18:28Mae Martin?

  I mean, we're projecting that she has no personal

• 18:30Fortune Feimster?

  She does not. You can look at the, you can look at every interview and see that she does not.

• 18:36Tig Notaro?

  And be thankful.

• 18:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but we celebrate this. We're not.

• 18:41Tig Notaro?

  That's what I'm looking for.

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Mae Martin?

  Me too.

• 18:44Tig Notaro?

  I mean, it's just really like, prepare yourself.

• 18:49Mae Martin?

  I want that. I mean, I want to kiss all my friends anyway and spoon them.

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  Well, because you know, Ross Matthews is her co-host and he's amazing too. You'll love him.

• 18:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Okay, great. Okay.

• 18:59Fortune Feimster?

  We should get him to ask a handsome pod question as well.

• 19:02Tig Notaro?

  Yes, we should.

• 19:03Mae Martin?

  That's a good idea.

• 19:04Fortune Feimster?

  But he's the nicest guy ever. She's lovely. It really, both shows will be like, oh, I can't believe this is already over. It'll go by quickly.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Okay, great. Great.

• 19:15Tig Notaro?

  And you'll want to keep in touch, but you just have to pull it together and move it along.

• 19:21Fortune Feimster?

  I did tell, I did tell, I don't want to bring up old wounds, but.

• 19:26Tig Notaro?

  Alanis?

• 19:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I did talk to Kelly about how I sang with Alanis. And Kelly was so jealous. And then Kelly recently also sang with Alanis.

• 19:36Mae Martin?

  Oh, for God's sake.

• 19:37Fortune Feimster?

  She really one-upped me.

• 19:38Mae Martin?

  Oh, God. Okay.

• 19:39Tig Notaro?

  Where does this leave me?

• 19:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Tig, you're not, you're not even in this fight.

• 19:47Mae Martin?

  Because you don't want, you want to sing.

• 19:48Fortune Feimster?

  Doesn't that seem like a lifetime ago? It was just last summer.

• 19:52Mae Martin?

  Um, Billy, wait, was it, oh my God, yeah.

• 19:56Fortune Feimster?

  Not this summer.

• 19:58Mae Martin?

  No, you're right. It was like, yeah.

• 20:00Tig Notaro?

  May, it was just two summers ago.

• 20:04Fortune Feimster?

  It almost brought the whole podcast down.

• 20:08Mae Martin?

  So should I? Maybe I'll bring that up with Kelly.

• 20:10Fortune Feimster?

  You could be, but like, I'm so glad you got a chance to sing with Alanis.

• 20:15Mae Martin?

  My own anecdotes.

• 20:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, yeah. You've got some anecdotes.

• 20:19Mae Martin?

  I can't just go on and be like, I heard Fortune got ice cream. I heard Fortune said.

• 20:23Tig Notaro?

  No, no, no. Don't do that. Fortune said she got this in her goodie bag. Fortune said, what do I share with my manager? When do I get my moment? You're the number one star in the world.

• 20:35Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. Talk about that. Talk about being the one on IMDb Star Reader that Tig's currently tracking still.

• 20:43Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean currently? I've always tracked everyone's star meter on IMDb.

• 20:49Fortune Feimster?

  Tig will just send texts to her actor friends that says, number of

• 20:55Tig Notaro?

  Hey, you've gone up four points.

• 21:02Fortune Feimster?

  Down from last week, but there's always next week.

• 21:05Tig Notaro?

  Fortune bad news. You've gone down 100 points.

• 21:09Fortune Feimster?

  No one's Googling you this week.

• 21:13Tig Notaro?

  That's funny.

• 21:14Fortune Feimster?

  You'll come up with some fun stuff. They like anecdotes about your show and then or anecdotes. They with Tony, that was like, like little other like celebrity anecdotes.

• 21:26Mae Martin?

  Are we gonna comment on that you're saying anecdotes? Can we? Or should we let it slide?

• 21:33Fortune Feimster?

  No, you should get me. I get you. What did I say? How do you say it for real?

• 21:39Tig Notaro?

  Anecdote.

• 21:40Fortune Feimster?

  Anecdotes? Yeah. Anecdotes. Anecdotes, anecdotes.

• 21:46Mae Martin?

  An anecdote is like a cure.

• 21:49Fortune Feimster?

  You guys, I'm not just here to dish it. I can also take it.

• 21:54Tig Notaro?

  I don't do any. I don't dish it and I don't take it.

• 22:00Mae Martin?

  I feel like I mainly take it.

• 22:02Tig Notaro?

  I would love to be annihilated by both of you. Maybe we should do like one of those, like when people roast each other.

• 22:12Mae Martin?

  A roast paddle?

• 22:13Tig Notaro?

  A roast? We should just roast each other.

• 22:16Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 22:17Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no. I don't like that. I don't like roast.

• 22:20Tig Notaro?

  I'm not really a roast person.

• 22:22Fortune Feimster?

  Me neither. I can watch it and enjoy it, but I don't want to be a part of it.

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:27Mae Martin?

  I can't even really watch it. And well, also no, sometimes like you'll see a clip online of someone who's just written such clever, great jokes, but.

• 22:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, um, I mean, the roast battles can change someone's trajectory. Our pal Nikki Glaser, who's so funny, she's about to host Saturday Night Live or may.

• 22:46Tig Notaro?

  Oh, she is?

• 22:46Fortune Feimster?

  It may be this week. She, oh my God, they just, they announced it in October.

• 22:51Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 22:52Fortune Feimster?

  That in November, um, she is going to host SNL. Isn't that wild?

• 22:56Tig Notaro?

  That's awesome.

• 22:57Fortune Feimster?

  It's really cool.

• 22:58Mae Martin?

  Wait, Fortune, I'm sorry.

• 23:00Tig Notaro?

  I was just gonna say, I love that when we brought up roasting, we all went, no, I don't like roasting.

• 23:06Mae Martin?

  I know. This is why this podcast works is that we're all through. We have certain things in common.

• 23:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 23:14Mae Martin?

  That's what'll mean for me.

• 23:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't know about that. No, thank you.

• 23:19Mae Martin?

  Um, Fortune, did you end up going to Cheesecake Factory yesterday?

• 23:22Fortune Feimster?

  I did.

• 23:22Tig Notaro?

  Good question. Good question.

• 23:24Mae Martin?

  How was it? Tell us everything.

• 23:27Fortune Feimster?

  It was amazing. I went to The Grove. Um, I haven't been there in like two years. Um, and it was, I think the last time I was there was for Taylor Swift's premiere of her film.

• 23:40Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 23:41Fortune Feimster?

  Not this latest one, but.

• 23:43Tig Notaro?

  Tay Tay.

• 23:44Fortune Feimster?

  Tay Tay, as we call her. And it was fantastic. I went with Zach Noe Towers and Taylor Tomlinson. And I was, I was gonna pay because Zach's birthday is, uh, in two days. And he got up to use the bathroom and gave his card to the waiter.

• 24:06Mae Martin?

  I love that.

• 24:06Fortune Feimster?

  Ta- trying to take, you know, if you, for those that don't know Zach, he's very gay. Um, and it was just funny that he was.

• 24:14Tig Notaro?

  Gayer than you?

• 24:16Fortune Feimster?

  Like way gayer than me. And it was just funny that he was taking care of his women.

• 24:21Tig Notaro?

  That's nice.

• 24:22Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, girl.

• 24:22Mae Martin?

  To him the bill. I love when a secret, a secret paying, because I hate the awkwardness of dividing a bill. And I hate this, I hate the awkwardness of debating like, no, no, I got this guy. So I think going to the bathroom and just smoothly do it. I like, I do that sometimes. I like it a lot.

• 24:38Fortune Feimster?

  It was very sweet. He's a, he opens a lot for me and opens for Taylor quite a bit too. And he just was like, you guys have done so much for me in my career and I just really appreciate both of you. And I wanted to treat you to some Cheesecake Factory. So it was very sweet of him.

• 24:56Tig Notaro?

  That's very nice.

• 24:57Mae Martin?

  Well, I know your story about when you, when you tried to use a gift card. So I wonder if he secretly was using a gift card when he went to pay.

• 25:04Fortune Feimster?

  He might have. Cheesecake Factory points. I did get a piece of cheesecake to go because I ain't a fool.

• 25:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you got to.

• 25:12Fortune Feimster?

  But I didn't know he was paying. I didn't mean to be like, oh, and now that you're paying, I would also like a piece of cheesecake to go.

• 25:19Tig Notaro?

  Did you make the, the classic joke of, had I known you were paying, I would have gotten a whole cheesecake.

• 25:26Fortune Feimster?

  No, but I should have. However, listen, I don't shy away from a deal. Uh, I got to the Cheesecake Factory before them and they were like, if you sign up for the rewards program, you can get half off your cheesecake. So I was like, well, I'm sitting here.

• 25:44Fortune Feimster?

  Sign up for a deal.

• 25:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 25:47Fortune Feimster?

  Only had to pay half for the cheesecake. You're welcome. But now I'm probably going to get five texts today from Cheesecake Factory.

• 25:56Tig Notaro?

  So you, you joined the Cheesecake Factory frequent flyer program?

• 26:01Fortune Feimster?

  That's awesome.

• 26:05Fortune Feimster?

  And it's like, you can get a free piece of cheesecake on your birthday. I'm like.

• 26:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I can, girl.

• 26:13Fortune Feimster?

  So yeah, I'm not above it.

• 26:15Mae Martin?

  What kind of cheesecake do you go with? The peanut butter?

• 26:17Fortune Feimster?

  I'm always a peanut butter bitch.

• 26:19Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 26:24Fortune Feimster?

  I am a peanut butter.

• 26:26Tig Notaro?

  Do you like peanut butter in general? Like you like go from the jar?

• 26:30Fortune Feimster?

  I don't, I'm not an animal. I don't put my finger in the jar.

• 26:34Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 26:34Mae Martin?

  I'm using a spoon, but I'm going from the jar.

• 26:36Tig Notaro?

  I didn't say finger.

• 26:37Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I thought that's what.

• 26:38Tig Notaro?

  Fortune's like, I'm not an animal. I don't just lick straight from the peanut butter jar.

• 26:43Fortune Feimster?

  I don't go fingering my peanut butter.

• 26:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy. Here we go. See, I like peanut butter on an apple, peanut butter on a banana.

• 26:51Fortune Feimster?

  Love those.

• 26:52Tig Notaro?

  Those are my favorite snacks that I have near daily.

• 26:54Fortune Feimster?

  You know what peanut butter I really love?

• 26:56Tig Notaro?

  What, dear?

• 26:58Fortune Feimster?

  What's it called? Schneider's?

• 27:00Tig Notaro?

  Oh, the peanut butter and jelly swirl?

• 27:02Fortune Feimster?

  Schmuckers? No, hold on.

• 27:05Mae Martin?

  Schmuckers?

• 27:06Tig Notaro?

  Hold on.

• 27:08Fortune Feimster?

  Talk amongst yourselves.

• 27:09Tig Notaro?

  Nope, we want our Schneider info.

• 27:12Mae Martin?

  Snyder's of Hanover?

• 27:13Fortune Feimster?

  Snyder's, is that it?

• 27:15Mae Martin?

  Snyder's of Hanover.

• 27:16Fortune Feimster?

  Am I really gonna have to go in my pantry and find this out?

• 27:21Tig Notaro?

  It's pretty important that we get the right information about this peanut butter.

• 27:26Mae Martin?

  So you're Googling Schneider's peanut butter and nothing's coming up?

• 27:28Fortune Feimster?

  It's not Schneider. Hold on. God, y'all.

• 27:31Tig Notaro?

  Sorry to bother you.

• 27:33Fortune Feimster?

  Listeners will never be able to sleep if I don't get to the bottom of this. Y'all keep talking.

• 27:38Mae Martin?

  No, we won't be talking.

• 27:39Tig Notaro?

  Let's just sit here silently.

• 27:41Mae Martin?

  We'll be waiting.

• 27:42Tig Notaro?

  What if Fortune doesn't come back? What if that was Fortune's exit from the podcast forever?

• 27:48Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. Or from, or if some, yeah.

• 27:52Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 27:53Mae Martin?

  Actually, I was gonna say like, so she just perished and that was her last words were.

• 28:01Tig Notaro?

  May Marie. And that was her last words was like peanut butter bitch?

• 28:10Mae Martin?

  And she had to get on a little step ladder to reach her pantry.

• 28:13Tig Notaro?

  Oh, so cute. Not, not tall enough to get her peanut butter.

• 28:18Mae Martin?

  I.

• 28:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh, here comes the peanut butter bitch.

• 28:21Mae Martin?

  Here comes the peanut butter bitch.

• 28:23Tig Notaro?

  I will never, ever see Fortune the same now that I know she's the peanut butter bitch.

• 28:30Fortune Feimster?

  Y'all, if I'm fingering any peanut butter, it's this one. It is called Lara Shudders.

• 28:37Mae Martin?

  Lara? I've never heard of it.

• 28:39Tig Notaro?

  I have, but this is very anticlimactic, I'll be honest.

• 28:43Fortune Feimster?

  It is.

• 28:44Mae Martin?

  Well, what were you expecting?

• 28:45Tig Notaro?

  Yes, peanut butter bitch.

• 28:47Fortune Feimster?

  How does this like?

• 28:50Tig Notaro?

  Oh, much better.

• 28:51Fortune Feimster?

  Um, it's, I like the nutty one.

• 28:54Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 28:55Fortune Feimster?

  What I like about it, it's all nat- I'm not getting sponsored by them. I'm just, I just am into it. Um, it's all natural.

• 29:02Tig Notaro?

  What's in the ingredients?

• 29:04Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, shit.

• 29:05Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's how we find out if it's truly all natural.

• 29:08Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh, it is. Peanuts.

• 29:12Fortune Feimster?

  Contains one percent or less of salt. That's all it said. That's the ingredients.

• 29:16Mae Martin?

  Peanuts and salt?

• 29:17Fortune Feimster?

  So I like a bit of sugar in my.

• 29:20Tig Notaro?

  Uh, so you're a Jiffy kinda kid?

• 29:22Mae Martin?

  No, I draw the line at Jiffy, but.

• 29:25Tig Notaro?

  Mm, or Jif, or whatever it's called.

• 29:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah. What's it called again? I'm gonna order some.

• 29:30Fortune Feimster?

  Laura Shudders.

• 29:32Mae Martin?

  But do you have to stir it? Is it one of the ones? Ah, see, I'm out.

• 29:35Tig Notaro?

  Oh, May doesn't, May doesn't have that kinda time now that there's a number one star.

• 29:40Fortune Feimster?

  The oil goes up to the top. You gotta stir it.

• 29:44Mae Martin?

  But it sloshes around. It gets on your hand.

• 29:47Fortune Feimster?

  You know, another good one, again, not sponsored.

• 29:52Mae Martin?

  Peanut butter bitch corner.

• 29:55Fortune Feimster?

  My peanut butter bitch corner.

• 29:59Fortune Feimster?

  Almond butter at Trader Joe's.

• 30:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 30:02Mae Martin?

  I like almond, but do you have to stir that?

• 30:04Fortune Feimster?

  It's their own brand. You do have to stir that too. I don't know what to tell you.

• 30:08Tig Notaro?

  May, hire an assistant that's willing to swirl.

• 30:11Fortune Feimster?

  What, what do you want from me?

• 30:13Mae Martin?

  All right, I will.

• 30:14Fortune Feimster?

  Don't eat that. No, eat the, but the more natural stuff.

• 30:18Tig Notaro?

  Peanut butter bitch. Calm down.

• 30:21Fortune Feimster?

  You want me to finger my peanut butter?

• 30:23Tig Notaro?

  Um, no ma'am. No.

• 30:30Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, Fortune Marie. No, put it down. I'm calling HR.

• 30:36Fortune Feimster?

  I have never seen.

• 30:42Mae Martin?

  I've never seen Fortune laugh this hard too.

• 30:46Fortune Feimster?

  I just imagine them talking about what we were talking about earlier, then it cuts me over.

• 30:51Tig Notaro?

  We just got an update. Fortune turned down a bit.

• 30:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah, Thomas just commented, Fortune, turn your volume down.

• 30:58Tig Notaro?

  That's straight from HR, by the way. Yeah, HR just reached out. Turn it down.

• 31:03Fortune Feimster?

  It's, is it because of the blah blah blah?

• 31:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, there's gonna be a lawsuit.

• 31:08Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 31:11Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 31:12Fortune Feimster?

  That was fun. That was fun.

• 31:19Tig Notaro?

  Should we go to our question?

• 31:21Mae Martin?

  We should.

• 31:21Fortune Feimster?

  By the way, I have half that cheesecake for today's lunch.

• 31:25Mae Martin?

  Oh lovely.

• 31:26Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna be another Peanut Butter Bitch y'all for lunch.

• 31:31Tig Notaro?

  Okay, new merch.

• 31:32Fortune Feimster?

  I'm about to be a Peanut Butter Bitch for lunch, y'all.

• 31:36Tig Notaro?

  If we had shirts called Peanut Butter Bitch.

• 31:42Tig Notaro?

  That would be so fun for people that had no idea what that shirt meant.

• 31:48Mae Martin?

  Peanut Butter Bitch, keep it handsome.

• 31:52Tig Notaro?

  This Peanut Butter Bitch keeps it handsome.

• 31:55Mae Martin?

  There you go.

• 31:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh my God.

• 31:58Mae Martin?

  Oh boy.

• 32:00Tig Notaro?

  How did we find joy there?

• 32:02Mae Martin?

  God, but did we ever?

• 32:04Tig Notaro?

  Someone read this. I can't with my droopy eyes.

• 32:07Mae Martin?

  I will. I'm thrilled and excited to.

• 32:09Tig Notaro?

  But, but, once I get my plastic surgery, I could be reading everything.

• 32:14Mae Martin?

  You're gonna be like this, "Keep it handsome."

• 32:19Tig Notaro?

  How dare you?

• 32:21Mae Martin?

  Hey, everybody. Keep it handsome. My eyes already look, my eyes are so squinty.

• 32:29Tig Notaro?

  This is what I'm gonna look like after my plastic surgery.

• 32:32Mae Martin?

  Look how squinty my eyes are always. So, I'm not one to talk.

• 32:36Tig Notaro?

  Maybe I shouldn't get surgery and I should just hold my eyes up like this. And then I wouldn't even have any recovery time.

• 32:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, do that. Toothpicks.

• 32:47Tig Notaro?

  I still can't say Peanut Butter Bitch.

• 32:51Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marine!

• 32:53Mae Martin?

  God, what's, what's Peanut Butter Bitch's like sidekick? Or what's, can I be like jam jerk or something?

• 32:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, jam jerk.

• 33:02Tig Notaro?

  What am I?

• 33:05Tig Notaro?

  Who am I?

• 33:05Fortune Feimster?

  Toast?

• 33:07Mae Martin?

  No, I'm so excited to introduce our question asker today. Tig, this is too much. Go to YouTube and see what is happening here.

• 33:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, come on over to YouTube. Come on over. Fortune Marine, I'm struggling. It's a medical condition.

• 33:29Mae Martin?

  You look like when Martin Short plays a character who's had plastic surgery.

• 33:33Tig Notaro?

  I love Marty.

• 33:36Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah. Marty, why haven't you asked us a question?

• 33:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, Marty. Marty, Marty.

• 33:41Fortune Feimster?

  And maybe Merrill.

• 33:42Tig Notaro?

  Merrill and Marty.

• 33:43Fortune Feimster?

  Merrill and Marty. Ask a duo question.

• 33:46Mae Martin?

  That would be a big get.

• 33:47Tig Notaro?

  Okay, sorry, May. I apologize for Tig.

• 33:50Mae Martin?

  Do I really? Okay, I'm not gonna wait this out. Okay, this is happening, right? Okay, and now their eyes can't open. They just stay closed. I'm so excited about today's question asker. This is someone who I wanted to be when I was a kid and a teen. Effortlessly cool, I'm gonna say. Today's question asker is an actor, a writer, a musician who was Emmy nominated for his work on Robot Chicken. He's also starred in movies like Clueless, Road Trip, and Garfield. Breckenmeyer is asking today's question.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  Hey, handsome friends. It's Breckenmeyer with a question and an idea.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  So, here's my question. When you go through a breakup, do you delete all photos and texts of the person? Or do you hang on to them because they're your memories and even though they're tough, you want to remember them at some point? Discuss.

• 34:46Tig Notaro?

  I like this question.

• 34:47Mae Martin?

  So do I. And you might remember, I've talked about Breckin on the pod before because I went to the, God, this was a lifetime ago as well, the WGA.

• 34:57Tig Notaro?

  Oh, the writer's strikes.

• 34:58Mae Martin?

  Pickett lines.

• 34:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I like the act out with your hand there, May.

• 35:02Mae Martin?

  That's jam, that's jam jerking action.

• 35:05Fortune Feimster?

  Jam jerking and peanut butter finger.

• 35:08Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, you need to take.

• 35:11Fortune Feimster?

  Peanut butter finger.

• 35:12Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, Fortune, Fortune. HR is shaking his head, no.

• 35:17Fortune Feimster?

  Jam, I'm jam jerking and peanut butter finger. My god.

• 35:25Fortune Feimster?

  Have I been called into HR? I'm so sorry. I didn't, I didn't know. I was talking about peanut butter.

• 35:32Mae Martin?

  Thomas is writing you both up.

• 35:34Fortune Feimster?

  No, I was talking about peanut butter. I wasn't talking about anything else.

• 35:39Tig Notaro?

  Go to YouTube.

• 35:40Fortune Feimster?

  There was no, it was not just me talking about fingering. I was talking about peanut butter.

• 35:48Tig Notaro?

  May, what were you saying?

• 35:49Mae Martin?

  I was saying during the writer's strike, I was protesting and I saw Breckenmeyer and I was.

• 35:58Fortune Feimster?

  What is wrong with us today?

• 35:59Mae Martin?

  I don't know.

• 36:00Tig Notaro?

  I think we're still in love with seeing each other yesterday in person in the same room. And you, sorry, May. Sorry, take so rude. What?

• 36:12Mae Martin?

  I was protesting and I saw Breckenmeyer and I, I did like an Instagram story where I was like, I saw my, my childhood crush, Breckenmeyer. And I just, it didn't occur to me that he would see that. And then he, and then he DM'd me and was like, Hey, saw you too. Should've said hi or something. I was like, oh my God.

• 36:30Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 36:31Mae Martin?

  In Clueless, his character Travis is like the sweet stoner, long-haired skateboarder guy. And I was like, that character was so sweet and pure and non-threatening and funny. And I was like, that's who I, I want to be that guy.

• 36:44Tig Notaro?

  And that's who you've grown up to be.

• 36:46Mae Martin?

  A sweet stoner. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up, girl?

• 36:52Tig Notaro?

  Wow, breakups.

• 36:53Mae Martin?

  Breakups.

• 36:55Tig Notaro?

  Do we know anything about this?

• 36:57Mae Martin?

  No.

• 37:00Mae Martin?

  None of us have been broken up with or broken up with anyone. Um, I'm a keeper. I'm, I'm a, I, I keep, I'm like a little magpie and I, I keep everything. I can't. Yeah, I keep things, even if it was a bad breakup, it's I keep like love letters or things that feel important. I don't keep them out on display like framed for, you know, I'm putting them away in a box. And then if I'm feeling real emo or if I'm moving house, I might like look through stuff.

• 37:30Tig Notaro?

  Moving house?

• 37:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, cuz you know, when you're moving, you end up going through all your shit. And then I'm like, oh, there's this box of old memories.

• 37:36Tig Notaro?

  I've just never heard that saying, if you're moving house.

• 37:39Mae Martin?

  Oh, maybe that's a British thing. If you're moving, I'm moving house.

• 37:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that might be a British thing. It's like when Australians say, I'm going to hospital.

• 37:51Mae Martin?

  What would you say?

• 37:51Fortune Feimster?

  They don't, I would say, I'm going to the hospital. They just say, I'm going to hospital.

• 37:58Mae Martin?

  Oh, right. Okay.

• 37:59Fortune Feimster?

  But it would probably be like this, I'm go, I'm wait.

• 38:04Fortune Feimster?

  Jennifer Lopez, razor blades. I'm going to the, I'm going hospital.

• 38:13Tig Notaro?

  Thank you, Peanut Butter Bitch.

• 38:14Mae Martin?

  Thank you for that.

• 38:17Fortune Feimster?

  I'm going hospital.

• 38:19Tig Notaro?

  I think Peanut Butter Bitch is gonna stick.

• 38:23Tig Notaro?

  What were you saying, May?

• 38:25Mae Martin?

  Oh, just that I keep stuff. I like to, you know, and I'm, I'm generally friends with most exes. And I'm like, that was a, you know, a nice time. Uh, yeah, not everyone, I guess, but I've never like burned stuff. I mean, I've never been like, I want every trace of that person out of my life. Like, you know what I mean? I might take down things that are immediately reminding me of the person. Yeah.

• 38:51Fortune Feimster?

  I haven't even thought about that stuff, truth be told.

• 38:55Tig Notaro?

  You haven't thought about what?

• 38:57Fortune Feimster?

  Like erasing photos or?

• 39:00Mae Martin?

  Well, the one, the thing with photos is annoying is your phone will randomly go, remember this? And it's like from three years ago. And it's like the most painful memory or it's like, edited together a video with sad music of like.

• 39:13Tig Notaro?

  Hadn't thought about that phone, but thank you.

• 39:16Fortune Feimster?

  Seriously. I, that's not something I don't, I don't really do that, like erase pictures and stuff. I mean, only if I look really bad in the picture, super chunky.

• 39:30Fortune Feimster?

  Um, because yeah, like you said, they're, they're memories. I was at least in my last situation was together 10 years. So that's a lot of memories.

• 39:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:40Tig Notaro?

  Situation.

• 39:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And I'm not just over here going F all that.

• 39:45Mae Martin?

  Uh huh.

• 39:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Um, acting, you know, there was a lot of good times too. So I'm, I'm happy to remember the good times.

• 39:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah. What about you, Tay? You keep, are you like a, a memory keeper?

• 39:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I, I don't, I don't, I, I don't go through and throw things out.

• 40:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:03Tig Notaro?

  You know, or, I mean, same. I don't like put our old photo albums out on my, uh, coffee table.

• 40:11Fortune Feimster?

  Right. You know, like things are on display now.

• 40:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but it's like, you know.

• 40:17Mae Martin?

  Although that'd be a good way to send a message to Stephanie. Like you better raise your game. You start putting.

• 40:22Tig Notaro?

  Look how happy I was with her.

• 40:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:26Tig Notaro?

  Um, one of the, the things that I really appreciated about Stephanie was this, this woman that I was involved with kind of overlapping with Stephanie. She made an appearance on One Mississippi and, um, and Stephanie actually suggested her.

• 40:43Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm. That's fucking cool.

• 40:45Tig Notaro?

  And she, and I was like, really? And it was kind of a romantic person on the show. And, and I said, um, or I, I was just, I was surprised. And Stephanie said, I just feel like she's the right person for the role. And she said, and

• 41:00Mae Martin?

  It's so badass.

• 41:01Tig Notaro?

  She was like, and if you had a connection with her previously, why, like that, that's a real connection. And it'll probably read on, on camera. And, um, and she, she just feels like if, if you had a connection, why not continue that connection in a different way? And, um, I just, I really appreciated it.

• 41:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's very cool. I, I have often been in love with people who are impossible to make jealous because it's such a cool quality. If you're like, oh, I saw him bumped into my ex the other day and they're like, oh, great. How are they? And you're like, fuck.

• 41:36Fortune Feimster?

  And yeah, I don't get, I don't get crazy about people's exes. I'm just like, okay.

• 41:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 41:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Stephanie's tight with, um,

• 41:47Tig Notaro?

  When I say tight, like she and an ex of mine really, really like each other. And it brings me so much joy. Like our kid, our kids play together and we hang out and our families. And it's just so, and that was a tough one. That's my ex that like, I didn't know if we were going to come back from because it all kind of went down during when I was sick and my mother died. And it just got so complicated because we went through a breakup and then my health issues exploded in the news and stuff. And it just wasn't a fun thing, I think, for

• 42:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:30Tig Notaro?

  It just was a little tricky and weird ways.

• 42:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But there is like, I mean, there's kind of a, maybe it's more common in the queer community that people sort of stay friends, maybe because there's fewer of us. Like you stay, like I remember going out to a party, like a dance party or something with a bunch of friends. And I was dating Parvati and Parvati came over and was meeting a bunch of my friends. And then after like, a couple of hours, she was like, have you slept with all of these people? Like, I was like, I guess I have, but like,

• 43:04Tig Notaro?

  I guess I have.

• 43:05Mae Martin?

  But like,

• 43:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God.

• 43:07Fortune Feimster?

  That is not my situation.

• 43:09Tig Notaro?

  Nor mine.

• 43:11Mae Martin?

  But we've stayed really, stayed really close.

• 43:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 43:14Mae Martin?

  But I don't think that happens as much in like the straight dating world, you know? Like, yeah. Or I have a T-shirt from that, from an ex-boyfriend that is so comfy and and reassuring because I, I love that guy. So it's nice to, you know, I'll wear the T-shirt frequently.

• 43:33Fortune Feimster?

  Why do, why do you think it is that it's more prevalent in our community?

• 43:37Tig Notaro?

  I think it's like the nature of like, uh, women.

• 43:43Mae Martin?

  Do you think or?

• 43:44Tig Notaro?

  I, I think like.

• 43:45Mae Martin?

  Well, I think, I think maybe with, it happens with gay men too and non-binary people.

• 43:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 43:50Mae Martin?

  I think.

• 43:51Fortune Feimster?

  Just be like a non-traditional.

• 43:54Tig Notaro?

  Everything's already so non-traditional that it's like, why would, why would we follow any other rules?

• 44:01Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 44:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And, and also I think community is important. And so, and, and communities are pretty small, like in, in, in different cities and in Toronto, especially it was like, you know, that L word thing of the, the Venn diagram or the, the chart.

• 44:19Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah. The chart. Yeah.

• 44:21Mae Martin?

  The chart that like connects everyone who's like been involved with each other. It's just a smaller group. So if you start cutting off everybody who's like.

• 44:27Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 44:28Mae Martin?

  Dated your friend or any, then you end up, yeah, you kind of have to.

• 44:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. We had a couple, not of my exes, but at the, our wedding stuff and I don't even think twice about it.

• 44:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:39Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I didn't have like a ton of serious, serious relationships prior.

• 44:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:45Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so it was, there was nothing too heavy that I was coming from.

• 44:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:51Fortune Feimster?

  And some, some I'd talked to and some we just have lost touch, but.

• 44:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah. There are definitely exes of mine that I don't talk to as well, like where it was just too heavy or weird.

• 45:02Fortune Feimster?

  Or a couple that you're like, no, no thanks.

• 45:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 45:07Tig Notaro?

  I, there's, yeah, I have a couple that I'm not in contact with.

• 45:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:12Tig Notaro?

  And it wasn't like a terribly fun departure.

• 45:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:17Tig Notaro?

  Um, but we're friendly and there's not anybody I wouldn't love to hear was thriving in their life and happy. And like, there is not a single, nobody.

• 45:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:32Tig Notaro?

  There's no one, even like going back to like Cheryl's not my ex or anything, but.

• 45:38Fortune Feimster?

  So it's a breakup of sorts.

• 45:40Tig Notaro?

  It is. And you know, I just, there's, there's no part of me that is excited by somebody not being happy or struggling or anything like that. There's really not. And especially exes, I, man, would I be thrilled to hear that.

• 46:00Tig Notaro?

  Anyone I was ever with was just happy, thriving, thriving, thriving.

• 46:04Fortune Feimster?

  I'm the same. I, I, life's too short. I don't wish anyone ill will, even if it didn't work out with us, or even if it ended not great. I am very much like, go live your best life, be happy. Like if you weren't happy with me, or we had whatever,

• 46:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:23Fortune Feimster?

  you know, we just couldn't get it together. Like, that doesn't mean you shouldn't have that happiness with somebody else. Even in this most recent situation, I want her to have the best everything.

• 46:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and be genuinely happy and good.

• 46:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So, yeah, I don't look at, I don't look at memories or pictures or experiences with any sort of taint on them from, um,

• 46:51Tig Notaro?

  Any sort of what?

• 46:53Fortune Feimster?

  Lip taint? Whatever. I said taint.

• 46:57Mae Martin?

  No, that's, that's right. You used it right.

• 46:59Tig Notaro?

  No, I know she did. I just wanted to make sure.

• 47:02Fortune Feimster?

  Fortune marine me.

• 47:03Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:04Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but I don't have this like stink on it now.

• 47:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 47:08Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, where I look back on any of it, like, ugh.

• 47:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 47:12Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I'm, I'm grateful for those memories and that there were so many happy times and.

• 47:17Tig Notaro?

  And the growth that you get from all of these things that were tremendous and terrible and.

• 47:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 47:25Tig Notaro?

  Man, it launches you to a new place.

• 47:28Mae Martin?

  We're all like, well, I mean, like the retreat I just went to, like by the end of it, I, I just felt so clearly like we're, we're all just like muddling through life and like.

• 47:41Fortune Feimster?

  Everyone's doing the best they can.

• 47:42Mae Martin?

  Everyone's doing their best. You meet people, you know, where you're at and sort of travel with them for a bit. And then if you grow together, you do. And if you don't, you don't. And.

• 47:51Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, that's the thing too.

• 47:52Mae Martin?

  Boundaries with people, I think, but.

• 47:54Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, especially in these longer term relationships, I, I feel like I'm so different than I was 10 years ago. She's so different than we were 10 years ago. And sometimes you grow together, sometimes you change and.

• 48:08Fortune Feimster?

  Um, that's a part of the journey too.

• 48:11Tig Notaro?

  When I split with this one, oh, actually the same one that made an appearance on One Mississippi.

• 48:20Tig Notaro?

  When we were like going our separate ways, it was, there was a little, you know, not, I mean, it was, of course, it was emotional, it was hard. Um, but what I did to move on quickly was I grabbed this really unattractive picture that she jokingly sent me while we were

• 48:43Tig Notaro?

  involved and I used it as my screensaver on everything. So every time

• 48:48Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's genius.

• 48:49Tig Notaro?

  I opened my computer, turned my phone on, I just saw her looking her absolute worst.

• 48:57Fortune Feimster?

  That's really funny.

• 48:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't need that.

• 49:02Fortune Feimster?

  I can I tell you a funny way I got let down easy. Um, there was a, this was many, many years ago. Um, and, uh, we never officially like were dating, we liked each other and and it was kind of in the works to possibly date. And she texted me like, can I make you dinner? And tomorrow night or whatever. I was like, oh, great. Like, well, maybe we're gonna finally, you know, move into the, to the dating phase. Um, and she came over and informed me that, uh, she was in love with her roommate.

• 49:43Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 49:45Fortune Feimster?

  She was gonna pursue that. So we wouldn't be able to pursue anything here more than friends.

• 49:53Tig Notaro?

  This is at the beginning of the dinner?

• 49:54Fortune Feimster?

  Beginning, yes.

• 49:55Tig Notaro?

  Oh, God.

• 49:56Fortune Feimster?

  And, and I'm just like, oh, okay. Like, I'm like, again, not that emotionally invested that it's devastating. But I did really like her and wanted to see if there was something there. And so I was bummed, but you're like, okay. And then, and then, you know, we have this awkward conversation and, uh, and then she's like, well. I can go, or I can, I can actually make you dinner. And I was like, you know, I wanted to be like, no.

• 50:32Fortune Feimster?

  Get out of here. But I was like, what, what did you bring?

• 50:38Tig Notaro?

  Peanut butter?

• 50:39Fortune Feimster?

  She was like shrimp tacos and I'm like, ah. I love shrimp tacos.

• 50:46Tig Notaro?

  Now we're talking.

• 50:47Fortune Feimster?

  So she, she said, she went and made dinner and I had just gotten, I'd just gotten dumped. And I was just like, I'm gonna eat these shrimp tacos.

• 50:57Mae Martin?

  Oh, I would do the same thing.

• 50:59Fortune Feimster?

  Cause those are the only tacos I'm eating tonight. Am I right? Hey.

• 51:04Mae Martin?

  Girl, Marie.

• 51:12Mae Martin?

  Are you humming, Tig? Did you just start humming a little song to soothe yourself?

• 51:21Fortune Feimster?

  I'm sorry. I had to.

• 51:24Tig Notaro?

  No, you didn't.

• 51:25Mae Martin?

  I was obsessed with the response being to start humming a little song. It's like Tig just had to dissociate.

• 51:33Fortune Feimster?

  Cause that was, those were the only tacos I was eating.

• 51:36Tig Notaro?

  Heard you the first time.

• 51:39Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe it was my delivery. Cause, cause it was, those were the only tacos.

• 51:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my lord. Peanut butter pitch? Cork it.

• 51:54Fortune Feimster?

  But that's how much I love food. I'm just like, sure you can dump me and yes, I will eat those tacos.

• 52:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, totally.

• 52:02Tig Notaro?

  That's funny.

• 52:03Fortune Feimster?

  Anywho, well.

• 52:05Mae Martin?

  I have a, my roommate was, was broken up with, uh, on the first day of a vacation, a romantic vacation together, like.

• 52:12Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 52:12Tig Notaro?

  And they had a still vacation? Why would you do that? Why even go?

• 52:17Mae Martin?

  That was his main thing. He was like, okay, but what the hell? Like, they'd saved up for this trip. It's like, just wait till the end, but.

• 52:25Fortune Feimster?

  Or not go.

• 52:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Tig Notaro?

  Or make shrimp tacos.

• 52:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:31Fortune Feimster?

  Cause those are the only tacos you're eating that night.

• 52:42Fortune Feimster?

  But um, hold on, wait, hold on.

• 52:44Mae Martin?

  The humming is so funny to me.

• 52:49Mae Martin?

  Wait, Fortune what?

• 52:50Fortune Feimster?

  Hold on.

• 52:52Fortune Feimster?

  Hold on now. Cause those are the only, hold on.

• 52:56Tig Notaro?

  No boy.

• 52:57Fortune Feimster?

  Cause those are the only tacos I was eating that night.

• 53:03Mae Martin?

  Oh, God. Oh, my God.

• 53:10Fortune Feimster?

  You like that?

• 53:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I like that a lot.

• 53:12Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you. Should we hear, uh?

• 53:15Mae Martin?

  Oh shit, yeah, let's hear Breckin's answer.

• 53:19Speaker 04

  I forgot to answer my own question. So my answer is I would just not look at them until I'm okay looking at them. But I want to keep the memories. I used to be the Men in Black guy who wishes everyone I was ever with was on a deserted island. They would slowly sink into the sea, but now I'm mature and wear sweaters.

• 53:38Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, look at that. Mature and wearing sweaters.

• 53:41Tig Notaro?

  Throw on a sweater and just move on.

• 53:44Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 53:45Mae Martin?

  He was wearing a, yeah, fetching, kind of similar to your cardigan there, Tig.

• 53:49Tig Notaro?

  I know, yeah.

• 53:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:51Tig Notaro?

  Look at that.

• 53:52Mae Martin?

  Old Cardi, Cardi B, Cardi T over there.

• 53:54Tig Notaro?

  Tig, do I strike you as a snuggly person?

• 53:58Mae Martin?

  That's a great question.

• 53:59Tig Notaro?

  Thank you.

• 54:00Mae Martin?

  Um, I think that with your immediate family, probably.

• 54:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 54:07Mae Martin?

  But I don't, I mean, definitely, we know you don't love a snuggle from a stranger.

• 54:11Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I love, I love snuggles.

• 54:15Mae Martin?

  Oh, me too, man.

• 54:16Fortune Feimster?

  I am a, I'm a, not only am I a peanut butter bitch, I'm a snuggle bitch.

• 54:22Tig Notaro?

  You're a little snuggle worm.

• 54:23Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a snuggle worm, snuggle bitch. I love the cuddles. I love the touch. I love the, all that.

• 54:30Tig Notaro?

  Wait, is this your dating, yeah, is this your online dating profile?

• 54:33Fortune Feimster?

  I love, I love a bu, I love a butt.

• 54:36Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 54:37Fortune Feimster?

  Grab.

• 54:37Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 54:38Fortune Feimster?

  And a snuggle and a cuddle.

• 54:40Tig Notaro?

  Butt rub?

• 54:41Mae Martin?

  How'd we get into butt grabs?

• 54:44Fortune Feimster?

  I do like a butt grab.

• 54:47Mae Martin?

  Is that, does that count as snuggling?

• 54:49Tig Notaro?

  Not in my book.

• 54:50Mae Martin?

  Snuggle my butt. Snuggle my butt.

• 54:52Tig Notaro?

  All right, let's wrap this up.

• 54:54Mae Martin?

  I will, you're on fire today, Fortune. There's like 10 new, 10 new catchphrases.

• 55:01Tig Notaro?

  I love when you did the, uh, the drum roll or whatever it is, uh, before you did the joke.

• 55:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 55:09Tig Notaro?

  Wait. Oh, boy.

• 55:12Mae Martin?

  I did a.

• 55:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. All right. Let's, let's wrap this up. Let's, let's get out of this episode, please.

• 55:18Mae Martin?

  I am going on tour at the end of February. Please get some tickets and come see me. I'm doing 35 cities and I'm really excited and nervous and I gotta, I'm gonna write that show real soon and it's gonna be really fun to see everybody. Uh, and also check out Wayward on Netflix, please. What are you guys up to?

• 55:40Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, on November 22nd, I'm in San Jose, California, and the next night in Fresno, then Thanksgiving weekend, Charlotte, North Carolina, uh, St. Petersburg, Florida, and Orlando, Florida. And December, Norfolk, Virginia, December 27th, Salt Lake City, December 29th, Vancouver, the 30th, and then New Year's Eve in Seattle, Washington, baby.

• 56:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh, and I'm gonna be at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, November 19th, and Largo in Los Angeles, November 21st. I think I'll be adding some Toronto club dates here or there. Check out tignotaro.com. Also, make sure to watch the Andrea Gibson documentary, Come See Me in the Good Light, on Apple TV. Uh, it's so beautiful. I produced that and it's one of the things I'm most proud of. I'm absolutely most proud of in my career, as well as this podcast.

• 56:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, remember to subscribe to the pod, share it with your pals.

• 56:46Tig Notaro?

  Rate, review. Also, subscribe to our YouTube channel. Share an episode with your friends.

• 56:53Mae Martin?

  Today would be a good one to watch on YouTube, I think.

• 56:57Speaker 05

  Why? Because of this?

• 56:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, because of that, because of Thomas writing you up on a little post-it note.

• 57:04Tig Notaro?

  You can also get our merch at handsomepod.com. And until next time, keep handsome.

• 57:14Speaker 05

  Peanut butter bitch.

• 57:16Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 57:30Speaker 05

  What a podcast.

• 57:36Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 57:39Speaker 06

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 57:41Speaker 05

  And Hannah Simone.

• 57:42Speaker 06

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dogged.

• 58:03Speaker 05

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 58:16Speaker 06

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 58:27Speaker 05

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.