Bon Iver asks about unexpected places

Grammy-winning musician Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver) asks Handsome a surprising question, and stuns the hosts with his entertaining answer! Plus Fortune indulges in a listener-suggested drink, "dah puffer," airing grievances, and more! Handsome is streaming LIVE from Austin April 12! Get your tickets here https://www.squadup.com/events/handsome-streaming-live-from-austin. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the program before sitting down to enjoy a school play? I'm in shambles. Turns out there's no intermission during this three-hour Shakespeare adaptation, and I really need to go to the bathroom. Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings

• 1:19Mae Martin?

  with a premium, professional website.

• 1:21Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:53Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 2:11Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the handsome podcast. I am one of your very handsome hosts and my name is Tig Notaro.

• 2:26Mae Martin?

  My name is Mae Martin.

• 2:28Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm your sultry sexy sounding fortune fiendster.

• 2:34Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, my goodness.

• 2:36Fortune Feimster?

  Have you guys ever heard my voice this low before?

• 2:40Tig Notaro?

  Or crackly.

• 2:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's not the depth. It's like, it almost sounds like you're choked by emotion.

• 2:46Fortune Feimster?

  I am.

• 2:47Tig Notaro?

  Or puberty. You're choked up by going through puberty. Tell us with what's left of your voice, what happened to your voice?

• 2:55Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. I was traveling this weekend. I had shows in Alabama.

• 2:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:00Fortune Feimster?

  And Adam, it is spring there and there's pollen and you know, it's, I was literally sitting under trees, dumping pollen on me.

• 3:10Mae Martin?

  I'm picturing like little piles of yellow dust on your shoulders.

• 3:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, with my mom in my hometown, um, after Alabama. And out of nowhere, last night, I just couldn't talk anymore. I'm not sick. I just don't have a voice and you guys miss me too much and we didn't want to not be together today.

• 3:31Tig Notaro?

  That's correct.

• 3:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we forbid it. I feel like a psychiatrist might like diagnose that psychosomatically, like be like, you, you need a break from being observed and heard, like you, or like you're struggling to say what you feel, you know what I mean?

• 3:49Fortune Feimster?

  I would say stress is probably also involved in this.

• 3:53Mae Martin?

  I think the throat is a very emotional organ. Is it an organ?

• 3:58Fortune Feimster?

  It's a passage.

• 3:58Tig Notaro?

  The throat? I don't know if that's an organ.

• 4:02Mae Martin?

  It's more like a fleshy tube.

• 4:04Fortune Feimster?

  Fleshy tube.

• 4:05Tig Notaro?

  It might be an organ. I really don't know. I, I am not the one to come to about, yeah, about any sort of anything, really. Except like we were saying before we started the episode, Thomas found a cat, uh, or the cat found Thomas. He wanted to call me. And then he didn't want to bother me. And I was like, listen, you know, you can always bother me about kitty stuff. But organs? I don't know if I'm the one to call. Yeah. I don't know if I'm the one to call.

• 4:33Fortune Feimster?

  If I didn't have my voice, do you think I could do this? My funny Valentine.

• 4:41Tig Notaro?

  That is a really beautiful face.

• 4:43Mae Martin?

  Oh my God.

• 4:44Tig Notaro?

  When you, yeah, will you do that again, please?

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I don't know the rest of the words.

• 4:48Tig Notaro?

  Well, that, what you're saying is enough to get that face going.

• 4:53Fortune Feimster?

  My funny Valentine.

• 4:56Tig Notaro?

  Wow, Fortune.

• 4:58Fortune Feimster?

  I literally can't go up and talk to him.

• 5:00Tig Notaro?

  I'm not even listening to the voice. It's the face, the, the, um, I don't know if I've ever seen that.

• 5:05Fortune Feimster?

  When you sound sultry, you have to look sultry.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  Is that what sultry is?

• 5:12Mae Martin?

  Why, but why couldn't?

• 5:17Mae Martin?

  Why couldn't this ailment have struck you on the night of the Alanis Morissette concert? And then I would have had to step in.

• 5:23Tig Notaro?

  Yes, good point, May.

• 5:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. May, well, now you know, this could happen at any point.

• 5:28Mae Martin?

  I just have to stress you out before.

• 5:30Tig Notaro?

  You have to pour pollen on Fortune's head and shoulders.

• 5:35Fortune Feimster?

  I have to be tired, have pollen poured on my head and be stressed.

• 5:39Mae Martin?

  Um, wait, so Tig, you were mentioning that Thomas found a stray cat, so guys.

• 5:44Tig Notaro?

  There's a person walking behind you.

• 5:45Fortune Feimster?

  There's a ghost in your house.

• 5:47Tig Notaro?

  I feel like it's my wife's.

• 5:49Fortune Feimster?

  There's a ghost in your house.

• 5:51Mae Martin?

  So last night I had a friend over and I said to her, I've got a surprise for you out back because guys, I got a sauna out back and I was really excited. I got a lot to say about it, but I was really excited to show her. So I'm like, I got a surprise. And so we go to my back door. As we walk out, there is a white scraggly dog staring at me with like muddy feet. And it's been shaved and it's old and it's scraggly and it's like, like it looks almost rabid. And so first of all, she thinks this is the surprise that I'm showing her.

• 6:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Mae Martin?

  And so I'm like, what is this dog? And then I hear people shouting, marshmallow, marshmallow, marshmallow. And so I turn around the corner and at my gate, like holding onto the bars of the gate are three people, like a grandma person and.

• 6:42Tig Notaro?

  Was it Otzgo? And her grandma.

• 6:45Mae Martin?

  It was, that was sort of the vibe grandma person, then like a sort of fifty year old woman and then like a guy my age and none of them know each other, but the grandma person is like, that's my granddaughter's dog Marshmallow. And then they come running in, I let them in and they, they get Marshmallow and she picks them up and she's like, I'm gonna give you a beating or something to the dog. And I was like, wait, what? And she was like, no, I'm joking. I don't know why I said that. She starts sobbing. She's like, I, my granddaughter would have killed me if I lost her dog. It ran away from the groomers. Anyway, it was all very emotional.

• 7:16Tig Notaro?

  Who are the other people though, if they weren't involved with the dog or grandma?

• 7:21Mae Martin?

  They're good Samaritans. They saw the dog bolt out of the groomers and then they'd been looking forever. And then someone saw it bolt like into my back garden, but I just, I love it.

• 7:32Fortune Feimster?

  Little cowboy.

• 7:33Mae Martin?

  My friend thought that I was going, I've got a surprise for you. And then it's this like immersive theater experience with this upset family and this dog.

• 7:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:42Fortune Feimster?

  You're gonna foster a traumatic dog.

• 7:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Tig Notaro?

  And was the dog white?

• 7:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it was a white dog.

• 7:48Tig Notaro?

  That's why it was called Marshmallow.

• 7:50Mae Martin?

  I presume.

• 7:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:52Mae Martin?

  And it was not an attractive creature. It was a, it was stressed.

• 7:57Fortune Feimster?

  It was no Biggie.

• 7:58Mae Martin?

  It was no Biggie. Oh my God.

• 8:00Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh. I saw a knockoff brand of Biggie.

• 8:04Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 8:04Tig Notaro?

  Walking down the street the other day and I was like, yeah, good luck.

• 8:07Mae Martin?

  There's a lot of knockoff Biggies and there's no.

• 8:10Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 8:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:11Fortune Feimster?

  Look what I have you guys.

• 8:12Mae Martin?

  What is that?

• 8:13Tig Notaro?

  Whiskey.

• 8:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 8:14Tig Notaro?

  Is it?

• 8:15Fortune Feimster?

  Cause somebody told me to drink it. So guess what I'm about to do?

• 8:19Tig Notaro?

  No. You're gonna get drunk?

• 8:21Mae Martin?

  Fortune.

• 8:22Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marie.

• 8:24Fortune Feimster?

  Gonna get my voice.

• 8:26Tig Notaro?

  It is one fifteen in the afternoon.

• 8:29Mae Martin?

  My God.

• 8:29Fortune Feimster?

  They said swig whiskey.

• 8:31Tig Notaro?

  Why?

• 8:32Mae Martin?

  Okay, I think that's an old wives tale. Cause I think it like.

• 8:35Tig Notaro?

  I don't know. We're gonna find out.

• 8:37Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. Fortune's drinking like a Mickey of liquor.

• 8:41Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 8:43Mae Martin?

  Like a hot toddy, maybe with like honey lemon.

• 8:45Fortune Feimster?

  To wash it down.

• 8:46Mae Martin?

  Okay, that's good. That I approve of.

• 8:48Tig Notaro?

  Does throat coat work?

• 8:50Fortune Feimster?

  We'll find out.

• 8:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 8:52Mae Martin?

  Some people say that whiskey is like of all the liquors, it makes you angry. So are you gonna get pissed at us?

• 8:57Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 8:58Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, let's see how this hour unfolds.

• 9:01Tig Notaro?

  Okay, this is a good moment for you to, maybe we can all air out our grievances.

• 9:05Mae Martin?

  Oh, God.

• 9:06Tig Notaro?

  Are you upset with me about and what are you upset with May about?

• 9:10Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, God. We're starting with me?

• 9:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, cuz you're you're the one liquored up.

• 9:15Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:16Tig Notaro?

  And be honest.

• 9:17Fortune Feimster?

  I'm upset that you just had a birthday.

• 9:20Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 9:21Fortune Feimster?

  And I didn't get any birthday cake.

• 9:23Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:26Mae Martin?

  Is that a rule? Anyone with a birthday is so unfortunate.

• 9:30Tig Notaro?

  Yes, I know. Max and Finn ordered, um, I like to have king cake every year.

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  What's that?

• 9:37Tig Notaro?

  It's the cake.

• 9:39Fortune Feimster?

  From Louisiana.

• 9:40Tig Notaro?

  For, yeah, for Mardi Gras.

• 9:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 9:43Tig Notaro?

  And so I love having that. It's my favorite cake.

• 9:46Fortune Feimster?

  Don't you bite into it and things are in it?

• 9:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, there's a baby or a penny sometimes, um.

• 9:52Fortune Feimster?

  That sounds dangerous.

• 9:54Tig Notaro?

  It's good luck and it's also you have to host the next Mardi Gras party.

• 9:58Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, who?

• 9:59Tig Notaro?

  Guys, don't yuck my yum.

• 10:02Fortune Feimster?

  I don't wanna bite into a baby and then have to host a party?

• 10:05Tig Notaro?

  It's not a real baby. It's just a very tiny little baby.

• 10:09Mae Martin?

  How come we don't hide more stuff in food like that? That's such a fun element to any meal.

• 10:13Tig Notaro?

  Like a knife, you know, to break you out of prison?

• 10:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah, a cake in the shape of a saw.

• 10:18Fortune Feimster?

  Would you wanna be proposed to via a ring and a piece of cake?

• 10:21Mae Martin?

  I never wanna be proposed to again, ever.

• 10:24Tig Notaro?

  No?

• 10:24Mae Martin?

  Anyway, moving on.

• 10:27Mae Martin?

  Okay, so you had this cake.

• 10:29Tig Notaro?

  Okay, so, yeah.

• 10:30Mae Martin?

  Fortune's pissed about it.

• 10:31Tig Notaro?

  Yes, every year, um, if anybody, if anybody's looking for the greatest vegan cake in the world and actually other vegan snacks and cheese, Yvonne's Vegan is, it's in Pasadena, California. It is so good. She makes my, um, my king cake every year. It is so delicious.

• 10:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 10:54Tig Notaro?

  And so Max and Finn ordered this for me and it was a surprise slash not surprise. I'll be honest, since I have it every year.

• 11:03Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:05Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, you're right. I should have thought we need to save some for Fortune, but I was worried about your throat.

• 11:11Fortune Feimster?

  I know, but it makes it better.

• 11:15Tig Notaro?

  Okay, what are you, what are you upset with May about? And you can say anything.

• 11:20Fortune Feimster?

  I am so upset with you that you had a friend over and I wasn't invited.

• 11:25Mae Martin?

  Okay, there's a theme here. There's a theme which is Fortune wants to be included.

• 11:33Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I was out of town for both things.

• 11:36Mae Martin?

  I wish that you had been there for the marshmallow incident because you're like a dog whisperer. You could have like snuggled that dog up.

• 11:42Fortune Feimster?

  Come here, come here. I could talk to him like this with his voice. Come here, little doggy.

• 11:47Tig Notaro?

  Your voice does sound a lot better than the voice memo you texted us this morning.

• 11:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, because I had, I was only awake for like 30 minutes and I'm like, uh oh.

• 11:56Mae Martin?

  That's, that's kind of a Mae Martin strategy sometimes is like right when you wake up, your voice is pretty croaky. So you do the voice note then saying, you know, guys, I'm not feeling great.

• 12:06Fortune Feimster?

  Note to self, now we know you're.

• 12:10Mae Martin?

  No, I gave up long ago with, I feel like you guys see through me. I, I gave up long ago. Yeah, day one, you saw through me. Now truly if I say I'm sick is because I'm really sick because I, I know I can't pull one over.

• 12:23Tig Notaro?

  That's what you'll hear when you, uh, when you call in with a, I'm going to have a cold at three o'clock today.

• 12:32Fortune Feimster?

  It'll be over at four thirty.

• 12:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it'll be over at six thirty because I have to go on a date then, but until then it'll.

• 12:39Fortune Feimster?

  Do you really have a date?

• 12:40Mae Martin?

  I don't, I don't.

• 12:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 12:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but I'm excited for the possibilities of the sauna in my life.

• 12:47Fortune Feimster?

  I love that you have a sauna. I've been, I've thought about getting one.

• 12:50Mae Martin?

  I cannot recommend it highly enough. Like it's, they're not that expensive. They say it lowers your chance of cardiac. Like health problems by stuff by like forty percent. And half an hour a day, it heats up super fast. It smells like cedar wood. It's so nice.

• 13:08Tig Notaro?

  How many people fit in yours?

• 13:10Mae Martin?

  Uh, four, of course.

• 13:12Tig Notaro?

  Whoa, four. And is it the infrared light?

• 13:17Mae Martin?

  No, but I'm thinking about getting a red light in there. And I'm, I've named it because I watched the Severance finale last night. So in Severance, there's this room called Cold Harbor. That's like the project they're working on. And so I've named this on a hot harbor. I might like engrave it or something. I don't know.

• 13:34Tig Notaro?

  And how long do you stay in there?

• 13:36Mae Martin?

  I mean, I've only had it working for less than 24 hours and I've been in there about 90 minutes. And I feel like a sack of skin, like all the fluids gone out of my body, but I feel healthy.

• 13:47Tig Notaro?

  Okay, okay. And do you feel like your cardiac stuff is?

• 13:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:52Tig Notaro?

  Is good?

• 13:52Mae Martin?

  I think it's gonna help me not smoke the couple cigarettes I smoke every day because when you get out of it, you feel so good in your body. You don't want to mess with that.

• 14:00Tig Notaro?

  Hmm, yeah.

• 14:02Mae Martin?

  Should I get a cold plunge, you think?

• 14:04Tig Notaro?

  Do you have enough room in your yard?

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but maybe I'll just get a bucket.

• 14:08Tig Notaro?

  Are you at your house, your new house?

• 14:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm back home after so long away and so many different countries. Yeah.

• 14:15Tig Notaro?

  And are those all of your trophies and awards? I, I, my eyesight is terrible.

• 14:20Mae Martin?

  They are, but I should.

• 14:21Tig Notaro?

  There's a big head on one.

• 14:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's like the taskmaster. You know that game show taskmaster? But I didn't think about that for the podcast and now I'm embarrassed, but those are.

• 14:32Tig Notaro?

  Why are you embarrassed? You're a very decorated comedian.

• 14:37Mae Martin?

  Thank you.

• 14:38Tig Notaro?

  Why don't you walk us through all of this? I see ha on something.

• 14:42Mae Martin?

  Fortune's plant, of course.

• 14:43Tig Notaro?

  I don't want to brag about what I've got behind me, but. Fortune's plant follows her everywhere. What is the ha, ha, ha award?

• 14:50Mae Martin?

  Oh, you know, that was funny. It's the Rising Comedy Star of the Year, just for last 2023. I'd been doing comedy for 20 years at that point.

• 15:00Fortune Feimster?

  A rising star.

• 15:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:04Tig Notaro?

  Isn't that funny?

• 15:04Mae Martin?

  Those things are all arbitrary, aren't they? But I got my window fixed. You'll see there's gonna be no more Black Widow spiders coming through there.

• 15:11Tig Notaro?

  You should also hang a, a sign that says, no Black Widow spiders allowed.

• 15:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:16Fortune Feimster?

  What is this?

• 15:19Mae Martin?

  What's that, Fortune?

• 15:19Tig Notaro?

  I feel like I have that same thing.

• 15:22Fortune Feimster?

  Rise up, LA.

• 15:23Mae Martin?

  Ri- rise up lights.

• 15:25Fortune Feimster?

  Rise of lights.

• 15:26Tig Notaro?

  Rise up lights.

• 15:29Tig Notaro?

  Congrats on that, Fortune. You wanna tell us about it?

• 15:32Fortune Feimster?

  Racking up the awards.

• 15:33Mae Martin?

  Oh, she's drinking again.

• 15:35Fortune Feimster?

  See you tomorrow.

• 15:36Mae Martin?

  I'll see you tomorrow.

• 15:38Tig Notaro?

  I have this, but I don't know who gave it to me.

• 15:41Mae Martin?

  The fake Oscar? Sorry to assume it's fake.

• 15:43Tig Notaro?

  Fake.

• 15:44Mae Martin?

  Sorry, yeah. Sorry, that's.

• 15:45Fortune Feimster?

  The fact that it, it's like.

• 15:47Mae Martin?

  Three inches tall.

• 15:48Fortune Feimster?

  Nothing.

• 15:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but I don't know, I don't know where, who gave me this.

• 15:55Mae Martin?

  Does it have a plaque on it?

• 15:56Tig Notaro?

  There's nothing on it. Just a ratty old Oscar.

• 16:00Mae Martin?

  I saw somebody making fun of how whenever anybody makes an acceptance speech, they comment on how heavy the award is.

• 16:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:06Mae Martin?

  There was like, huh, these really are heavy.

• 16:09Tig Notaro?

  And also, looking into the camera, telling their kids to go to bed, of course.

• 16:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with that, yeah.

• 16:16Fortune Feimster?

  Suzie Jacob.

• 16:18Mae Martin?

  Go to bed, okay, kids? Oh, my God.

• 16:23Fortune Feimster?

  What if you, it would be funny if you didn't have kids and you told the kids.

• 16:27Mae Martin?

  That's really funny. Or if you said it to your parents, Mom, Dad, go to bed.

• 16:31Tig Notaro?

  Go to bed. You've had too much to drink.

• 16:34Fortune Feimster?

  When we host the Oscars, it won't be next year, because Conan's doing it again.

• 16:39Mae Martin?

  Oh, is he?

• 16:39Fortune Feimster?

  But that'll give us more time to learn to tap dance.

• 16:42Tig Notaro?

  We could kidnap, uh, Conan.

• 16:44Mae Martin?

  Just for the night.

• 16:45Fortune Feimster?

  Tig, you're good friends with Conan. Tell him that at some point, he should have the handsome pod tap dance.

• 16:53Tig Notaro?

  At his house?

• 16:55Fortune Feimster?

  At the next Oscars.

• 16:57Mae Martin?

  He doesn't have to acknowledge it onstage. He can just walk by us.

• 17:00Tig Notaro?

  He just ignores all the tapping?

• 17:02Fortune Feimster?

  And we're tapping. Yeah. He has time to think about it. It's not till next year.

• 17:06Tig Notaro?

  Also, I want to be clear, I'm not really good friends with Conan. I'm certainly friends with Conan.

• 17:13Fortune Feimster?

  That's more, that's more than we are.

• 17:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:17Tig Notaro?

  I have his number.

• 17:18Fortune Feimster?

  This is more than we have.

• 17:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, okay. But I'm not good friends. If he hears this and he texts me.

• 17:24Fortune Feimster?

  You're friendly enough to say, hey bud.

• 17:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm friendly enough to say, hey bud.

• 17:28Fortune Feimster?

  My pod.

• 17:28Tig Notaro?

  But if he hears this and he'll, he'll text me and say, you need to correct that.

• 17:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you need to make an edit. We're acquaintances.

• 17:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:42Fortune Feimster?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I've got a little snack with me before I leave the house. My stomach and I are grumbling. I thought I'd be able to grab a bite in between meetings, but now it's getting late and I could really use a candy bar.

• 17:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 18:10Tig Notaro?

  The handsome hollybob season is fast approaching and I'm realizing that we haven't hosted friends and family for a few months. Looking around my home, it's in need of a bit of a festive refresh. For all things hosting, Wayfair delivers high-quality, customer-trusted products for your home so you can host and celebrate without the stress.

• 18:32Fortune Feimster?

  Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Products are hand-vetted by a product specialist using a 10-point quality inspection. They've got options for every style and budget. I'm more into the classic holiday look with multicolor bulbs, tinsel, you name it. Wayfair has all of that. I use Wayfair to decorate my fireplace this season and it looks so cozy and festive. I love everything. I've gotten on Wayfair and I know you will too.

• 19:01Tig Notaro?

  When refreshing your home this holiday season, Wayfair delivers exactly what you need. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 19:17Fortune Feimster?

  There's nothing quite like having pieces. In your closet you love and know that you can count on for any occasion, except maybe giving someone else that same feeling. This holiday season, Quince is where I'm finding those pieces. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton and premium stretch denim.

• 19:37Tig Notaro?

  Let me tell you about my jeans. I got a pair of the Luna Stretch Slim Straight Jeans for only 50 bucks compared to that $235. Compare that to $235 at traditional retail. They're quickly turning into my favorite thing to cover my legs with. I'm gonna pick up some more pairs because Quince has tons of color options as well.

• 20:01Fortune Feimster?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was handsome. It's the best way to support the show.

• 20:22Mae Martin?

  I saw some clips of him from the Mark Twain Award. And he's just so such a great speaker. He has some really cool things to say.

• 20:31Tig Notaro?

  He is by far one of the top five funniest people.

• 20:36Mae Martin?

  I agree.

• 20:36Tig Notaro?

  Living. I mean, I kinda can't get over it every time.

• 20:40Mae Martin?

  And I know like, I know he's massively famous and everyone loves him, but I feel like, I don't know, I don't hear enough of like, yeah, of people really recognizing that this, that he's still so funny. He's so funny in everything he does. It's so effortless. It's so like joyful almost like, like, yeah, we gotta celebrate.

• 21:01Tig Notaro?

  So smart.

• 21:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:03Tig Notaro?

  And like so curve volley, like whatever topic he has an angle.

• 21:10Tig Notaro?

  That I'm like, oh my gosh, didn't see that coming at all. And which, you know, of course, is the key to comedy, but also it's fun. Sometimes when you see where a joke is going and it unravels to your delight.

• 21:22Mae Martin?

  I also, I like that his specific talent is like, his whole being is just a fun, a funny person. Like it's, you know what I mean? Like he just put him in any situation and his reactions, like his deadpan reaction to when he kind of engineers a situation where someone insults him and then he is so deadpan like that, it kills me.

• 21:45Tig Notaro?

  He is a silly, silly man and God, do I love it. Anyway.

• 21:50Mae Martin?

  Anyway, he's not our question asker.

• 21:53Tig Notaro?

  No, he's not. And I'm realizing we didn't make it full circle around where we all could share what we're so upset with each other about.

• 22:01Fortune Feimster?

  What are y'all upset about?

• 22:03Tig Notaro?

  I don't know if you want to hear it.

• 22:04Mae Martin?

  Oh, really?

• 22:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I think we should save it for another episode when you're not this sick.

• 22:10Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. I can take it.

• 22:12Tig Notaro?

  I don't think you can. I am so upset with you.

• 22:17Tig Notaro?

  And May.

• 22:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:20Mae Martin?

  I think the person who's airing the grievances needs to be drunk on whiskey. That's, that should be the rule.

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  How's the whiskey going?

• 22:28Fortune Feimster?

  Bottoms up.

• 22:29Tig Notaro?

  And who told you whiskey would help your voice?

• 22:32Fortune Feimster?

  Somebody on Instagram.

• 22:35Tig Notaro?

  Are you serious?

• 22:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I listen to my followers.

• 22:39Tig Notaro?

  Okay. And then why do you have such a tiny little?

• 22:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I checked my messages. I saw this. Uh, two people made this suggestion. It, I, I don't do something on just one suggestion.

• 22:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. You need two strangers on Instagram.

• 22:55Fortune Feimster?

  Two strangers have to have suggested it.

• 22:58Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 22:58Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm sitting here and I'm like, I'm about to start handsome. My throat's being.

• 23:03Tig Notaro?

  A bad girl. A bad little lady.

• 23:09Fortune Feimster?

  And I looked over and what was sitting on the desk from my last airplane ride? They just hand me a bunch of these when I fly and I'm like, ah.

• 23:18Mae Martin?

  They do?

• 23:19Fortune Feimster?

  I don't, yeah, I don't know why.

• 23:20Mae Martin?

  I've never been handed, I've never been on a flight and a flight attendant just hands me a handful.

• 23:25Fortune Feimster?

  I drink, but I don't drink like a crazy, you know, I'm not like a.

• 23:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:29Tig Notaro?

  So you just sit down, what are you famous for drinking whiskey?

• 23:33Fortune Feimster?

  No, I think it's from my Chelsea lately days. Some of the gays that watched that show back in the day are just like, here, girl, have fun. And I'm just like, oh, thanks.

• 23:43Tig Notaro?

  Just because they want to celebrate you.

• 23:45Fortune Feimster?

  I either don't drink on a plane or I don't drink more than one of these.

• 23:48Tig Notaro?

  I would be in a wheelchair if I drank one of those tiny little ones.

• 23:53Mae Martin?

  That's true too.

• 23:56Mae Martin?

  I sometimes, uh, before a show, I'll have like a sip of whiskey just to have the taste in my mouth. Cause of like the sense memory of drunk confidence, even though I'm not drunk at all. I have just the taste in my mouth and I'm like, oh, I must be feeling real loose. Even though I haven't even imbibed.

• 24:12Fortune Feimster?

  I will say, I, my voice feels better already in the last five minutes.

• 24:17Tig Notaro?

  It sounds really good and less sexy, unfortunately.

• 24:23Fortune Feimster?

  Back to my, my southern twang.

• 24:26Tig Notaro?

  And, uh, and you're drink, sorry, you're drinking smooth move tea for this?

• 24:31Fortune Feimster?

  Coat throat, but I do like smooth move.

• 24:34Tig Notaro?

  Do you really?

• 24:35Mae Martin?

  Smooth move, where'd you get that?

• 24:37Tig Notaro?

  That's a tea.

• 24:38Mae Martin?

  That's a real thing?

• 24:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:40Fortune Feimster?

  I thought you just made it up.

• 24:42Tig Notaro?

  You didn't know about smooth move?

• 24:43Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 24:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh, this is a tea that you can drink to have a smooth move.

• 24:49Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 24:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 24:52Tig Notaro?

  Oh. I, I, I've only had it once. It's licorice tasting.

• 24:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:59Fortune Feimster?

  You're like, get it out of my body.

• 25:01Tig Notaro?

  I do like black licorice.

• 25:02Fortune Feimster?

  Really? Hate it.

• 25:04Mae Martin?

  But do you, do you like red licorice, Fortune?

• 25:07Fortune Feimster?

  I like it, but I don't love it.

• 25:09Mae Martin?

  Cause apparently if you like red licorice, then you like the smell of gasoline. And if you like black licorice, um, that's like, you're like a rabbit, cause rabbits love licorice.

• 25:19Tig Notaro?

  Hmm. I don't love the smell of gasoline.

• 25:22Mae Martin?

  There's a couple flaws in that whole.

• 25:23Tig Notaro?

  No, no, no. There is, I don't see a single flaw, May.

• 25:29Fortune Feimster?

  I actually poured my poor gasoline all over myself this weekend.

• 25:32Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 25:33Fortune Feimster?

  Not on purpose.

• 25:35Tig Notaro?

  Either way. All over you, like on your head.

• 25:40Fortune Feimster?

  I pulled out the handle, the thing.

• 25:43Tig Notaro?

  And gas gun?

• 25:44Fortune Feimster?

  The little trigger button thing was already down.

• 25:50Mae Martin?

  So it was gushing out?

• 25:51Fortune Feimster?

  So I opened it and it just started gushing out.

• 25:54Tig Notaro?

  Oh my.

• 25:55Fortune Feimster?

  That's so dangerous.

• 25:57Tig Notaro?

  Not a great smell.

• 25:57Mae Martin?

  I love the smell.

• 25:58Tig Notaro?

  You do?

• 25:59Mae Martin?

  I love the smell of gas, petrol, super glue, permanent marker.

• 26:04Tig Notaro?

  I used to as a kid, but I've moved on.

• 26:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're you gotta guard what brands sells or.

• 26:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I have a year away from um, from my retirement community.

• 26:15Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 26:15Tig Notaro?

  So um.

• 26:16Mae Martin?

  Do you think that would be a good slasher movie that takes place at a retirement community?

• 26:21Tig Notaro?

  Yes, write it.

• 26:22Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 26:22Tig Notaro?

  I'll star in it.

• 26:23Mae Martin?

  Okay, for real?

• 26:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, of course.

• 26:26Mae Martin?

  Okay, great.

• 26:26Tig Notaro?

  As long as I can live there.

• 26:27Fortune Feimster?

  That works there.

• 26:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, great. And also I know from doing this podcast enough that you said many times, Tig, that you don't have range. So I'm going to write it specifically for you.

• 26:37Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 26:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you basically just have to be like, hi, I'm Tig.

• 26:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and I'm old.

• 26:43Mae Martin?

  But we could give you full gray hair.

• 26:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 26:46Fortune Feimster?

  You had gray hair.

• 26:47Tig Notaro?

  There's gonna be more to that sentence.

• 26:49Fortune Feimster?

  You have that long gray hair in the in y'all's movie.

• 26:52Tig Notaro?

  Yes, in uh, Am I Okay? I'm I'm in a long haired gray wig.

• 26:57Mae Martin?

  That's hilarious.

• 26:58Tig Notaro?

  So tune into Am I Okay?

• 27:01Fortune Feimster?

  Do you think when you get older, you will grow your hair out?

• 27:04Tig Notaro?

  How much older? Cause again, I'm one year away from retirement community.

• 27:08Fortune Feimster?

  Like, you know, seventy or something.

• 27:11Tig Notaro?

  Seventy. Wait, you saying like long?

• 27:13Fortune Feimster?

  Long hair, yeah.

• 27:14Mae Martin?

  Oh, not sure about that.

• 27:16Fortune Feimster?

  It doesn't have to be gray. You could still dye it, but will it be long?

• 27:19Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean still dye? I don't dye my hair.

• 27:21Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my bad.

• 27:24Tig Notaro?

  You thought I dyed my hair?

• 27:26Mae Martin?

  Can I be honest? I did too.

• 27:28Tig Notaro?

  Really?

• 27:29Mae Martin?

  I kind of thought.

• 27:30Fortune Feimster?

  I dye my, I, I highlight my hair.

• 27:32Tig Notaro?

  I don't, no, haven't I told you that I feel like I am the opposite of when people go, what has this person done with their face? Like with plastic surgery? I'm like, I, I realized one day that people with plastic surgery are looking at me going, does she not know that she can have things done? Because my teeth are cracked and yellow. I have wrinkles and I have gray hair. I mean,

• 27:57Fortune Feimster?

  Look what I, look what I have.

• 27:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, what is that?

• 28:00Mae Martin?

  Effortlessly handsome. We have, what is that Fortune? It looks like a vibrator.

• 28:04Fortune Feimster?

  It does look like one, doesn't it?

• 28:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, it goes under your eyes for puffy eyes?

• 28:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 28:09Mae Martin?

  Don't tempt me because I will order everything under the sun. I don't know if you can see this that I just bought.

• 28:14Fortune Feimster?

  This is all the rage, May.

• 28:16Mae Martin?

  Like an eye wand?

• 28:17Fortune Feimster?

  It's a Therabody.

• 28:19Mae Martin?

  Okay, I'm getting it.

• 28:20Fortune Feimster?

  Depuffer.

• 28:22Mae Martin?

  Therabody.

• 28:22Fortune Feimster?

  And it looks like a vibrator.

• 28:24Tig Notaro?

  Depuffer or depuffer?

• 28:28Tig Notaro?

  I don't think it's a depuffer.

• 28:31Fortune Feimster?

  Depuffer. Hey, depuffer. Hey, if it isn't Fortune Depuffer. It's been a while, buddy. May, this is not a sponsored ad, but May, it gets cold and hot, like immediately.

• 28:45Mae Martin?

  Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get one.

• 28:47Tig Notaro?

  Good thing it's not a sponsored ad because we, they would drop us.

• 28:50Mae Martin?

  They'd be complaining.

• 28:51Tig Notaro?

  They'd be like, we're not depuffer.

• 28:53Mae Martin?

  I want, like a mafia character, like a gangster character who has asthma, who's called the, the puffer.

• 29:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, the puffer.

• 29:02Tig Notaro?

  So you're saying depuffer?

• 29:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 29:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 29:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah. So I ordered this, which might look like a normal black hat, just like the one I'm wearing.

• 29:10Tig Notaro?

  Looks brown. It does look, it looks green to me.

• 29:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's just the light, the golden light, but.

• 29:15Tig Notaro?

  It looks like a little cowboy hat.

• 29:17Mae Martin?

  If you look inside, it's lined with silver something to stop like the radiation rays that we're all getting apparently from our phones and. And walking around all the wifi waves, it's like wearing a tinfoil hat, but

• 29:31Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 29:32Mae Martin?

  It's real. And then I I've been reading all about these dangerous waves that we're absorbing. I'm like, I can't believe I live in this reality that I'm buying basically a tinfoil hat to wear.

• 29:42Fortune Feimster?

  Are you telling me you bought yourself a depuffer hat?

• 29:46Mae Martin?

  I bought myself a deradio puffer hat.

• 29:49Fortune Feimster?

  All right. And what is this little lady holding right up there?

• 29:53Mae Martin?

  If you're watching on YouTube, Fortune's holding up a delightful little handbag.

• 29:56Fortune Feimster?

  It's my Chewy Vuitton Paris bag.

• 29:59Mae Martin?

  Chewy Vuitton.

• 30:01Fortune Feimster?

  It's Biggie's.

• 30:03Mae Martin?

  It's Biggie's actual bag?

• 30:05Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 30:06Mae Martin?

  And what do you keep in there?

• 30:07Fortune Feimster?

  No, it's a squeeze toy.

• 30:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, okay.

• 30:11Tig Notaro?

  Should we get to our question asker?

• 30:14Mae Martin?

  I wouldn't have it any other way.

• 30:15Tig Notaro?

  Today's question asker is a Grammy winning singer, songwriter, and producer best known as the frontman of indie folk band Bon Iver. He's got one of the most distinctive and beautiful voices in all of music. Bon Iver's new album is called Sable Fable. Justin Vernon is asking today's question.

• 30:41Mae Martin?

  I never knew his name was Justin Vernon.

• 30:43Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't know that either.

• 30:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, now you know.

• 30:45Fortune Feimster?

  And you know, he's singing with Taylor Swift.

• 30:47Mae Martin?

  Yes, I know. I'm a big fan. Bon Iver's voice, when he says, come on, skinny love.

• 30:56Tig Notaro?

  I mean, come on, kill me now.

• 30:58Mae Martin?

  Kill me now.

• 30:59Tig Notaro?

  Kill me right now with skinny love.

• 31:01Mae Martin?

  Put me in the coffin.

• 31:05Tig Notaro?

  Oh, God.

• 31:08Mae Martin?

  That's yours. That's yours.

• 31:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's all yours, baby doll.

• 31:14Mae Martin?

  Wait, should we show, should we hear his question?

• 31:16Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yes. Oh.

• 31:17Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's right.

• 31:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, he has a question.

• 31:18Fortune Feimster?

  Forgot why we're even here.

• 31:20Speaker 05

  Hey, handsome. Huge fan of all of yours. I'm happy to be here. My name's Justin.

• 31:26Tig Notaro?

  He's handsome.

• 31:28Speaker 05

  And I got a question for everybody. Have you ever been in a place that was so unexpected? That you couldn't believe it and you can't believe it still when you look back? And, and how did it change you? What, what happened and, and why was it so unexpected?

• 31:49Mae Martin?

  Okay, I, not to objectify him, but I didn't know Justin was such a babe. I mean, I've seen, I've seen him before, but like,

• 31:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:58Mae Martin?

  I got blush, I was blushing.

• 32:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, handsome fella.

• 32:01Mae Martin?

  He's got a cheeky, a cheeky sparkle in his eye and that's all I like in a person is like a piratic twinkle in the eye.

• 32:07Tig Notaro?

  No sense of humor, no intelligence.

• 32:10Mae Martin?

  That's, no, no, just the twinkle.

• 32:12Tig Notaro?

  No compassion.

• 32:13Mae Martin?

  No, no empathy.

• 32:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, just looking for a twinkle.

• 32:16Mae Martin?

  Just need that twinkle.

• 32:22Tig Notaro?

  I think if you have a twinkle, you have some empathy.

• 32:25Mae Martin?

  And some intelligence, I think. That was a great question, too.

• 32:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and I thought right out of the gate that I had the answer.

• 32:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:33Tig Notaro?

  And I've talked about it on the podcast, which was where I, I was invited with who we spoke about, Conan O'Brien and a bunch of others to go to the, the Vatican.

• 32:44Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, yeah.

• 32:45Tig Notaro?

  The Pope. I was like, well, I didn't expect this in my life. But then I immediately switched to, when I was asked, this is a lot of rock stars in one, one sitting, but Chris Martin asked me to surprise Dakota Johnson on her 30th birthday. Do you know about this?

• 33:03Mae Martin?

  Uh-uh, no.

• 33:04Tig Notaro?

  Okay, so I get an email.

• 33:07Mae Martin?

  Has she done her movie yet?

• 33:08Tig Notaro?

  No, this is how I met her.

• 33:10Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 33:10Tig Notaro?

  Chris Martin emails me and he's like, hey, um, this is Chris Martin. Dakota Johnson is my girlfriend and you are her favorite comedian.

• 33:21Mae Martin?

  I'm dead.

• 33:22Tig Notaro?

  And he said, she's turning 30 years old. This is a few years back.

• 33:27Fortune Feimster?

  I would have erased this email because that would have been certain it was spam.

• 33:31Mae Martin?

  Right. It sounds like, like I'm a Saudi prince and I just need.

• 33:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. Why? Are those not real?

• 33:38Mae Martin?

  You've been sending multiple.

• 33:40Fortune Feimster?

  Money.

• 33:42Tig Notaro?

  So he says, you are Dakota's favorite comedian. Will you surprise her on her 30th birthday? And I'm like, okay, I can do this. Um, and I, uh,

• 33:55Tig Notaro?

  I show up, it's this place in Malibu, it's outdoors, it's um, I get, I show up and I get shuffled immediately into basically a broom closet.

• 34:09Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 34:09Tig Notaro?

  You're like, can I at least have a salad? But meanwhile, it's like this outdoor event where there's food trucks, there's a stage, there's like a Led Zeppelin cover band playing.

• 34:23Mae Martin?

  Oh, sick.

• 34:23Tig Notaro?

  And there's every massive celebrity you've ever, ever dreamed possible in one place.

• 34:30Mae Martin?

  And you're in the broom closet?

• 34:31Tig Notaro?

  I'm in the broom closet and um, and I'm with my friend.

• 34:35Mae Martin?

  Let's get this Les back in that closet.

• 34:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, let's shove the old lesbian back there. Um, so I'm in the broom closet, I'm with my friend Greg, another comedian who I brought as my date, and all I asked for was tea, not for throat coat or smooth move, just tea.

• 34:52Mae Martin?

  You felt like a tea.

• 34:53Tig Notaro?

  Usually spearmint or um, mint tea. And so I'm just sitting in this essentially broom closet, waiting to be called on stage, and Chris comes back and says hello and thanks me for being there. And I'm like, sure thing. And he was like, sorry, I just really want to make this a surprise. And I'm like, yeah, no problem. And then I go out on stage and I, and I, and I said to Chris, I was like, are you sure I'm her favorite comedian? Because I said, I am mortified.

• 35:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 35:21Tig Notaro?

  Thinking about like, maybe you misunderstood something.

• 35:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 35:25Tig Notaro?

  And, and it's like, the big moment of the night is he's surprising her with me and there, and she's like, who is this? So I wa, he's like, I am certain it's you. And I'm like, okay. So it's time for my performance and I'm, I'm led out onto the stage and Chris and Dakota are sitting front row center. And I'm like, oh my Lord, I'm, I'm very self-conscious because I'm, I'm still thinking like, may, I wonder if he has the wrong person.

• 35:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:56Tig Notaro?

  And um, I do my show and um.

• 35:59Mae Martin?

  Does it go well?

• 36:00Tig Notaro?

  Uh, I think it did. It did. I think it went well enough to where I, you know, was friendly with Dakota after and we worked together and.

• 36:12Mae Martin?

  Did she react when you came out? Was she like, oh, my God?

• 36:15Tig Notaro?

  Well, Dakota doesn't, she's not a real, oh, my God.

• 36:19Mae Martin?

  Right. She's like you.

• 36:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, she's, she's way chill, which it all kind of made sense after that point where I'm like, she's so like, she's not, oh, my God.

• 36:30Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 36:30Tig Notaro?

  So anyway, I meet her after. That's all nice and everything. And then Robert Downey Jr. comes up to me and, um, and he's giving me all these nice compliments and like really specific compliments about the different jokes and whatever. And I'm like, oh, wow. He really gets my sense of humor. And then he says, and his wife is standing there too, Susan, and he says, uh, my wife was wanting tea and that sounds good to me too. And I'm curious, where did you get your tea? And I said, oh, um, I've been sitting in a broom closet for the past hour and I have, um, tea in that broom closet, uh, and some

• 37:13Tig Notaro?

  hot water. And he was like, do you mind taking us there to get some tea? And I was like, sure. So me, Robert, Greg and myself all go to my broom closet and I'm fixing their tea and I'm telling you, it's really a tiny little area. I'm fixing their tea and I, I hand everyone some tea and then, and then he says, you know what? Do you mind if we just hang out in here and all have tea together? He was like, I'm kind of not really in the mood to be at the party.

• 37:49Mae Martin?

  I love, I respect that so much.

• 37:52Tig Notaro?

  And I was like, sure. And so I thought we'd probably sit there for a half hour and drink our tea. We were in. The entire night.

• 38:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 38:03Tig Notaro?

  Robert, Susan, Greg, drinking tea in the broom closet and then wrapped up and I left.

• 38:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 38:11Tig Notaro?

  I did not even interact. I didn't do anything. I just went home and then Dakota. But that was a moment where I was sitting there going, how on earth am I in a broom closet pouring tea and spending hours with my friend Greg and Robert? And Susan Downey.

• 38:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's insane.

• 38:33Tig Notaro?

  And it was so fun. It was.

• 38:34Mae Martin?

  That's always the best moments at a party when you break off into a little group and like a little.

• 38:39Tig Notaro?

  Broom closet.

• 38:40Mae Martin?

  Broom closet. Yeah, yeah. How have you not told us that story?

• 38:45Tig Notaro?

  I figured I'd share that over going back into, wow, it was so crazy to be at the Vatican with,

• 38:53Tig Notaro?

  Conan O'Brien, my best friend.

• 38:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it was just a funny, weird moment that I really enjoyed.

• 39:03Mae Martin?

  Oh, man. Do you have one fortune?

• 39:05Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I mean, I'm only thinking of celebrity stuff right now just because I feel like that those are the most surreal moments you have living in Los Angeles.

• 39:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:14Fortune Feimster?

  It's like one of those places where like literally at any given moment, you can like turn a corner and be talking to like your childhood hero.

• 39:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:22Fortune Feimster?

  You just, you never know who you're gonna meet and where.

• 39:29Fortune Feimster?

  One would, um, I'm friends with her now, but when I first met Natalie Maines from The Chicks.

• 39:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, she agreed to do this show with me for Comedy Central. We had never met. And now that I know her, I can't believe she said yes. And I had like loved their band my whole life. Well, from my, from the time I was 18 up and used to like listen to.

• 39:51Tig Notaro?

  Seventeen, you couldn't stand them.

• 39:52Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. Yeah.

• 39:54Mae Martin?

  I actually hated them.

• 39:55Fortune Feimster?

  Listen to their songs on repeat. So she and I sat in her trailer and chatted for a long time and, and we got drinks with her afterwards. And then for, um, we recently went out of town with her. Um, and her bandmates came and we had a like this fun night where we were, um, singing karaoke. And we started singing their, all these songs from their first album. That they like, don't sing anymore.

• 40:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 40:25Fortune Feimster?

  And like singing at the top of our lungs and having the best time and they were dancing. And it was like the most surreal moment where I just like pictured myself back in college. And like, could you have ever imagined, um, like singing with them? And I sang on stage with them too, which was very surreal. I sing, uh, in the Nashville Bridgestone Arena, the, their goodbye song, but something about being in a den. And they, and they sang like.

• 40:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, it was at a house.

• 40:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it was at a house.

• 40:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:56Fortune Feimster?

  A dinner, a dinner party.

• 40:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:58Fortune Feimster?

  And, uh, saying, they sang Not Ready to Make Nice, which was.

• 41:02Tig Notaro?

  That's such a great song.

• 41:03Fortune Feimster?

  Their huge song from their controversy, like seeing them sing it in this room with me.

• 41:08Tig Notaro?

  It's so good.

• 41:09Fortune Feimster?

  So crazy.

• 41:09Tig Notaro?

  I thought you were saying that you were like at a karaoke club, singing it with Natalie. And I was like, wait a minute, was everyone's head exploding?

• 41:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 41:19Tig Notaro?

  Left and right.

• 41:20Fortune Feimster?

  She sang at her, we had a wedding party back in the day. She came and sang at that and at my, um, she karaoke'd with me at my premiere. I had a little premiere gathering for my specials. She, so she is down for the karaoke.

• 41:34Tig Notaro?

  Love it.

• 41:35Fortune Feimster?

  This was just in the house with them, screaming, screams singing at the top of our lungs.

• 41:41Tig Notaro?

  Does she live in LA?

• 41:42Fortune Feimster?

  She does, yeah.

• 41:43Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 41:44Mae Martin?

  House parties, uh, yeah, it's intimate enough that you can, that everyone who's there feels vetted. So it means if you do meet one of your heroes, they're kind of predisposed to be like, oh, you, you're, you're in the gang. I can connect with you in this way. Like it's different to being at a, you know, an award show or something.

• 42:02Tig Notaro?

  At very different, you would think, but that's how I met Taylor Dane, was at a very intimate party. And I thought I was safe. And I don't know if you're familiar with that story.

• 42:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you were not safe.

• 42:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I was not safe. And that's where the excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you. I just have to tell you, I love your voice, came from the fact that Taylor and I had a mutual friend that was having an intimate dinner party.

• 42:28Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 42:28Fortune Feimster?

  Ting and I first met at an intimate at Jamie Babbitt's, remember?

• 42:32Mae Martin?

  Uh huh.

• 42:33Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 42:33Mae Martin?

  A long, long time ago.

• 42:34Tig Notaro?

  Were they trying to connect, like hook us up? Why were we, it was just the two of us? At Carrie and Jamie's house. When I look back, I'm like-

• 42:43Fortune Feimster?

  I thought that for a second, but I'm like, there's no way.

• 42:46Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 42:47Fortune Feimster?

  They might have just, Ting and I.

• 42:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:50Fortune Feimster?

  But I think that in their head, they were like, they're both very funny and should be friends.

• 42:54Mae Martin?

  Uh huh. Mine is, I'm gonna veer off the celebrity thing. Those are-

• 42:59Tig Notaro?

  Why?

• 43:01Mae Martin?

  Okay, I'm gonna go, the first thing that came to mind was, like, the most surreal place I've, or culturally different place I've been, was like Nepal when I was 20 and like up in the mountains and stuff. And there was this one night where it was a full moon and so there were all these parties in Kathmandu. And I was just so like on my own. And I met this Italian guy who was maybe five foot two. He was tiny. Anyway, we're in this bar and they were playing U2. And everyone from every different country imaginable knew every word. And we were all singing, you're one, but you're not the same. Yeah. Then I ended up hooking up with this guy in my hostel, this Italian guy. And he was telling me that he

• 43:46Mae Martin?

  grew up in a cult and that he had seen a human being fly. He was like, I don't know what to tell you. I've seen it with my eyes. Human beings can fly with the power of your mind. I don't know. I've seen it. And I was like, whoa, cool, man. And then I got-

• 43:59Tig Notaro?

  And do you believe that?

• 44:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I have no reason to doubt it, Tig.

• 44:03Tig Notaro?

  You have no reason? Like, there's no reason to doubt that.

• 44:08Mae Martin?

  I mean, I try to take people at their word, you know? But, I mean, he was probably out of his mind. But, um, he really was like so sincere when he said it.

• 44:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 44:20Mae Martin?

  And then I got sick. I was having stomach problems. I wasn't even like drunk or anything. But I ended up having to run to the bathroom and I had like explosive diarrhea. And I'm, the bathroom is on the roof of the hostel and the door was kind of open and I'm squatting over this hole. And I can see the full moon above the thing. And then as I'm squatting there, just like, oh, like, you know, the cramping, like, this giant rat, the size of a dog, comes up to the door of the, and I'm like, no, get away, like trying to wave at it. And it was not scared of me. And it just looks at me and hisses with its yellow teeth.

• 44:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 44:57Mae Martin?

  And I'm squatting paralyzed pooing and the full moon there. And just knowing that then downstairs in my room is this weird guy who thinks people can fly. And I'm like, I was like, I had a real out of body moment where I just started laughing. Like, I was just like, what is happening? The rat, the poo, the moon, the guy.

• 45:17Tig Notaro?

  And then your moon was hanging out too?

• 45:19Mae Martin?

  Hanging out, yeah.

• 45:21Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 45:22Mae Martin?

  I ended up telling him, listen, you gotta go.

• 45:25Tig Notaro?

  Did you tell him about your, um, digestive issues?

• 45:28Mae Martin?

  I said, I'm not feeling well. And he was, he probably thought he could cure it or something, but.

• 45:33Tig Notaro?

  You just need to fly.

• 45:35Mae Martin?

  You just.

• 45:35Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I feel like if people could just put their minds to it and fly, there would be a lot of cases of this happening.

• 45:43Mae Martin?

  I know. But then I've been listening to the telepathy tapes and it's really messing with my like paradigm. So I feel like. We don't know, maybe, you know, you hear about those guys meditating in the snow, you know, in their underwear for years.

• 45:58Tig Notaro?

  I don't hear about them.

• 45:59Mae Martin?

  Oh, you don't?

• 46:00Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 46:00Mae Martin?

  We have different algorithms.

• 46:01Tig Notaro?

  Fortune?

• 46:02Fortune Feimster?

  I have not.

• 46:03Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 46:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. If I hadn't heard about meditation in their underwear, I was like, there is no world this news has reached Fortune.

• 46:10Mae Martin?

  Well, I guess I feel like I've seen things about like yogis who sit in the snow and they're, they're basically naked and they meditate for years without eating and they're just using sunlight. Do you think this is true? Cause I actually can't think of where I've heard this, but I just believe it.

• 46:27Tig Notaro?

  Well, I've heard about people who claim to be oxygenarians.

• 46:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Tig Notaro?

  Where they only live off of air.

• 46:34Mae Martin?

  And sunlight.

• 46:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 46:37Tig Notaro?

  Um, I didn't think that was possible.

• 46:39Mae Martin?

  Wouldn't that be confirmed? Like, there should be some tests on this.

• 46:42Tig Notaro?

  I feel like it would be the biggest Hollywood diet hack.

• 46:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 46:49Tig Notaro?

  In the world.

• 46:50Mae Martin?

  You're right.

• 46:51Tig Notaro?

  I mean.

• 46:51Mae Martin?

  Someone would have monetized that.

• 46:52Tig Notaro?

  Yes, this would be, this is same with people thinking they can fly. Not only are you gonna see it like, you know, what are those things where drones?

• 47:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 47:02Tig Notaro?

  You'd see people flying and then you'd for sure, if, if, if somebody did it and they were like, I could do it again, somebody's gonna get a camera out, like.

• 47:12Mae Martin?

  I have been seeing a lot of telekinesis on Instagram. I've seen people, it's like a new thing, people practicing moving paper with their minds and stuff, but it's, it's just videos. It could be fake, but did you see the news story about the pyramids recently?

• 47:27Tig Notaro?

  Uh-uh, no.

• 47:28Mae Martin?

  What? Thomas, back me up.

• 47:31Speaker 06

  No.

• 47:31Tig Notaro?

  What's the news?

• 47:32Speaker 06

  What's the news about the pyramids?

• 47:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I only have the old information about the pyramids. It's like.

• 47:38Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 47:39Tig Notaro?

  B.C.

• 47:40Mae Martin?

  I, okay, this hasn't been confirmed on the major news sites yet, but it's gathering traction. Um, they did a radio analysis, like a, an analysis deep beneath the pyramids and they have found. Giant cylinders that go two kilometers deep beneath the pyramids and have like

• 47:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh, maybe I did hear that.

• 48:01Mae Martin?

  Coil, it like changes everything we thought about how they were built. And it's like, they think that these were energetic silos, like that the pyramids were some kind of energetic battery or harnessing system.

• 48:15Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 48:16Mae Martin?

  And there's like these cylinders that are on top of blocks. Are you Googling it, Thomas?

• 48:23Fortune Feimster?

  No, no one cares. Everyone's just like.

• 48:25Mae Martin?

  No, I'm not.

• 48:28Tig Notaro?

  I did hear about this. I didn't read further. But that's what's so insane about the news is that Stephanie and I were just talking about this the other day, that the astronauts that finally got saved and brought back to Earth, everybody's response like, oh, right, were they still gone? They were still gone?

• 48:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And then we move on the next day. We're like, huh.

• 48:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Everyone keeps commenting that her hair got gray. And I'm like, well, yeah, the, the woman astronaut.

• 48:57Mae Martin?

  Everyone's commenting that her hair went gray. And it's like, yeah.

• 49:00Fortune Feimster?

  But it's like, that's what happens if you're gone for nine months and you're not dying your hair like you, Tig.

• 49:05Tig Notaro?

  How dare you? How dare you? This is all natural. Okay. These wrinkles, these yellow, cracked teeth and gray hair. All mine.

• 49:15Mae Martin?

  You're effortlessly handsome, though. You just, you wake up, you splash water on your face, you head out the door.

• 49:22Tig Notaro?

  That's right.

• 49:22Fortune Feimster?

  La la boom.

• 49:23Mae Martin?

  Meanwhile, Fortune's got the therab, the, the.

• 49:26Tig Notaro?

  The deep vibrator. The de-puffer?

• 49:29Fortune Feimster?

  The de-puffer.

• 49:31Tig Notaro?

  Or it should just be called the de-de-puff, de-de-puffer.

• 49:35Fortune Feimster?

  The de-puffer.

• 49:36Tig Notaro?

  The de-puffer.

• 49:39Tig Notaro?

  Now, Fortune, I'm just realizing you sing a very sultry song. Do you feel insecure at all now that we know Bon Iver is our question asker?

• 49:51Fortune Feimster?

  No, I feel like I'm amongst my peers. Hot people that can sing.

• 49:55Mae Martin?

  Hot people that can sing.

• 49:57Tig Notaro?

  Well, should we hear his, uh, his response?

• 49:59Mae Martin?

  A hundred percent.

• 50:00Speaker 05

  Being from a small town in Wisconsin, I did not expect my band to take off like it did and to be traveling the world and at the level that we were. But we were getting a lot of looks from people that, you know, it was all very surprising, but probably none more surprising than this story. In 2012, we're, we're running around touring and I, we got a, an email from the people that represent the Coen Brothers, the filmmakers, who are originally from this area. I'm, you know, I'm the biggest fan of their movies. And to put into perspective, before I tell you this story, I, I made movies growing up with my friends.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  My sports friends and I made movies and I was never allowed to be on camera because I was so bad at acting. I was always the director. Um, dot, dot, dot. We get a email from the Coen Brothers, curious if I would read for one of their films. And I immediately was like, there's no way in high hell that I can do this. Uh, I definitely am not built for this. Um, I don't want to be any more famous than I just got. Um, no. And I thought about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a couple of days because it was just such a high honor and I started getting really confusing thoughts, like maybe this is something I was meant to do, or maybe I need to grow into this.

• 51:27Speaker 05

  It's the Coen Brothers, you know? So they sent a script and I like had it on the road and I'm a very kind of patchy reader and uh, they wanted to have a meeting in New York, so I, you know, read the script about over the course of a month. I read it once and go to the Upper West Side and to, I believe it was Joel Coen's apartment. And I was there with my brother and they asked my brother to wait outside and I thought that was kind of weird. And I, you know, I walk in and embarrassingly now, I said, you know, hey, I'm such a huge fan. It's so great to meet y'all. You know, I've been really thinking about this and I had worked myself into such a tizzy that I went in and said, you know, I'm totally willing to move my Australia tour to do this part.

• 52:11Speaker 05

  And, you know, let's really make this happen. And I was trying to talk to him about Minneapolis and they were kind of like just, yeah, man, why don't we just sit down and, and read for a little bit? Oh my god. In that moment, it was the most dun, dun, dun moment in my life. Oh my god. In that moment, I realized that I was in an audition and I didn't know that. Oh my god. I was completely paralyzed. The movie ended up being acted by Oscar Isaac. It's a movie called uh, Inside Lewin Davis.

• 52:43Mae Martin?

  The lead part.

• 52:44Speaker 05

  Sitting there, I'm a terrible actor. I've read this thing exactly once and they're like, let's go to page four. And I'm so bad, I'm sitting like, kind of curled up on the couch staring at the paper like this. They're kind of laughing. And I knew in that moment that they, it was okay that they were laughing at me because I was so bad. But anyways, it was one of those learning experiences where if something doesn't feel right to you, and you're not meant to do it, maybe just let it pass.

• 53:11Mae Martin?

  Trust your gut. That's insane.

• 53:15Tig Notaro?

  But it's also, he does have that vibe where it feels like he could pull kind of anything off.

• 53:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I felt like I could watch him just, yeah, read a phone book.

• 53:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah. He sucked me in just even with that story. So I'm not giving up on Justin.

• 53:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah, on his acting career. That is really funny, though, that it was the lead part.

• 53:36Fortune Feimster?

  He's like, I'll change my tour.

• 53:39Mae Martin?

  I'll change my tour.

• 53:40Tig Notaro?

  I, the other, the other night, I saw this ex of mine who is a writer. And she was, this is one of my favorite stories. In the very beginning of her career, um, and she has pitch anxiety really bad. Um, but she's successful now, very successful. But in the early days, when she went to pitch this movie, oh my God, she, um, she's pitching, she has, she said she has like 4,000 pages, not really, but just a huge stack of pages that she has to get through with her pitch. And she starts just feeling like the

• 54:22Tig Notaro?

  room's closing in on her, you know, in the conference room with all the people staring at her.

• 54:27Mae Martin?

  Oh, God, my heart.

• 54:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And she's like, having an out of body experience, like, oh my God. And her, she said her tongue starts swelling and she's sweating and she's like, oh my God, are these my teeth? Are, oh, these are my hands? It's just, like, just like, what, like, who am I? Am I, like, and then she, she, she said after she starts sweating, she asks everyone in the room, she's like, um, is it? Hot in here? Are you guys hot? And everybody was sitting there going, no. And she's like, oh, I'm really hot. And she gets up from the table. She walks over to the thermostat. And she said she's standing there looking at the thermostat. And she's thinking, what am I doing? And she's trying to adjust the air.

• 55:13Tig Notaro?

  And she said she stood there for like, I don't know, a minute, just staring at the thermostat going, oh my God, I can't do this. And then she said the door was to her left and she just walked out the door.

• 55:27Mae Martin?

  My God.

• 55:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 55:29Mae Martin?

  Best. Oh, my God. Yeah, I really understand that because once you get to the, you've made the decision to get up and adjust the temperature in the room of someone else's office.

• 55:41Tig Notaro?

  You know, you can't go sit back down.

• 55:44Fortune Feimster?

  Being the executives going, what just happened?

• 55:46Tig Notaro?

  What just happened?

• 55:49Mae Martin?

  I'd be intrigued and impressed by someone that just walked out. Like, I'd kind of rather that than someone who stays and muddles through.

• 55:57Tig Notaro?

  I would die laughing if I was the executive and the person just walks out the door.

• 56:05Mae Martin?

  That's really good. I still think that the only reason I got feel-good commission was that, because I was bombing in every pitch. And in the Netflix pitch, the main guy at one point leaned back in his chair and then went, whoa, whoa, whoa, like that. And his chair, he almost fell over. And something in me, like my inner tig almost came out and I wouldn't, I wouldn't drop it. And I kept like coming back to it throughout the pitch and it gave me this confidence, like, and I think the fact that I was really obsessed with that moment, I think, I think that got me through.

• 56:39Fortune Feimster?

  That made you a star.

• 56:40Mae Martin?

  It was just like, humanized him in a way that I was like, okay, we're just people.

• 56:46Fortune Feimster?

  We're all fumbling.

• 56:47Mae Martin?

  We're fumbling through.

• 56:49Tig Notaro?

  Well, that is so, so funny. And what a great question.

• 56:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 56:54Fortune Feimster?

  Great question.

• 56:54Tig Notaro?

  And answer. Well, thank you, Justin. We are all massive fans.

• 56:59Mae Martin?

  Massive, massive fans. I saw, I saw him live at a festival really quick and you could have heard, it was outdoors and you could have heard like a pin drop of everyone just watching this huge crowd. And I was crying, everyone's crying, deeply moved.

• 57:13Tig Notaro?

  Unrelated.

• 57:14Mae Martin?

  And yeah, yeah, yeah, just attached.

• 57:17Tig Notaro?

  Unhinged.

• 57:18Mae Martin?

  And then I turned to my right and my friend Joe, who I thought was equally moved because he was just really sort of meditative. I realized that he's so drunk that he's fallen asleep standing up, which is, he was holding a balloon like this and he was just.

• 57:34Tig Notaro?

  That's for you, Justin.

• 57:35Mae Martin?

  Sorry.

• 57:37Mae Martin?

  That was just because he was drunk.

• 57:39Tig Notaro?

  I saw him in an outdoor venue as well and I was sober, no balloons.

• 57:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 57:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 57:45Mae Martin?

  Very like, almost a church-like experience.

• 57:49Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely.

• 57:50Fortune Feimster?

  I bet.

• 57:50Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely.

• 57:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 57:51Fortune Feimster?

  That sexy voice like this.

• 57:54Tig Notaro?

  Not as sexy as Fortune.

• 57:56Fortune Feimster?

  This sexy voice.

• 57:59Mae Martin?

  And next time, maybe one of us will have some whiskey and air our grievances.

• 58:04Fortune Feimster?

  I still have a little nip.

• 58:08Tig Notaro?

  Fortune behaved herself.

• 58:09Mae Martin?

  My voice is getting worse though.

• 58:12Tig Notaro?

  Well, we'll wrap this up. So listen, our live streaming show is this Saturday, April 12th. Get your tickets now at our social media pages or dynastypewriter.com. And also, if you enjoyed this episode or any other one, share this episode with your friends, family. Let's continue to build the handsome.

• 58:37Mae Martin?

  You can say it, community.

• 58:38Tig Notaro?

  Community. All right, there you go. I couldn't say it because I couldn't remember the word.

• 58:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 58:42Tig Notaro?

  But also rate and review us, please, and subscribe to the podcast and subscribe to YouTube so you can see Fortune's sultry phase and gams. And, and then also May's.

• 58:57Tig Notaro?

  Tinfoil hat.

• 58:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 59:00Mae Martin?

  And let us know what question askers you'd like to hear from.

• 59:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 59:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm curious what, who people would want to hear from.

• 59:07Tig Notaro?

  And also, if you've gone to any of these hotels with May's top secret messages.

• 59:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 59:12Tig Notaro?

  Reach out, because we got a free keychain for you, just waiting.

• 59:16Mae Martin?

  I will say, I forgot to hide one in the London Hotel, so.

• 59:20Tig Notaro?

  Oh, no.

• 59:22Mae Martin?

  Don't go there and look forever. But the one at the Silver Lake Pool House is.

• 59:26Tig Notaro?

  That one's there.

• 59:27Mae Martin?

  Cool, and it's still there, yeah.

• 59:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, don't even go there, girl.

• 59:32Mae Martin?

  What do you got coming up?

• 59:34Tig Notaro?

  Well, I have local shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. I'll also be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, June 14th, and get all my show information and everything else you need to know about me at tignotaro.com. Also, my friends Liz Feldman and Jesse Klein have a new incredible podcast called Here to Make Friends, produced by Mr. Thomas. And yeah, check that out. I cry on that episode.

• 1:00:06Mae Martin?

  For real?

• 1:00:07Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 1:00:08Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna listen.

• 1:00:09Tig Notaro?

  I was not expecting that, but I did have a boo hoo, and I felt a little vulnerable. So, there you go, Liz and Jesse. You're welcome for the numbers bump there, because everyone's gonna be running over to see me cry.

• 1:00:23Mae Martin?

  I got, I'm just April 25th at Largo, and also check out maymartinmusic.com, because I'm adding some tour dates soon. And there's cool merch. And also, I'm really grateful to everybody who's streaming the album. And yeah, keep doing that.

• 1:00:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, my tour just started, so I am.

• 1:00:43Mae Martin?

  So far, so good.

• 1:00:45Fortune Feimster?

  I will have a voice, don't worry.

• 1:00:48Tig Notaro?

  Even if you don't, you have your gams.

• 1:00:50Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 1:00:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:51Fortune Feimster?

  I'm coming to Albuquerque, Rockford, Illinois, Cleveland, Columbus, Greensboro, Roanoke, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, Kansas City. And we just added a ton of new dates for the fall that go on sale, well, are on sale now. So, check those out.

• 1:01:09Mae Martin?

  What a podcast.

• 1:01:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, what a podcast. Until next time.

• 1:01:15Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it handsome.

• 1:01:18Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 1:01:34Speaker 07

  What a podcast.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum podcast.

• 1:01:43Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that my outfit matches the vibe of the evening before heading out the door? I regret everything. The night called for a black t-shirt, but I wore a white one instead, and now everything's out of alignment.

• 1:01:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 1:02:13Fortune Feimster?

  And Hannah Simone.

• 1:02:14Speaker 07

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

• 1:02:36Fortune Feimster?

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 1:02:49Speaker 07

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 1:03:00Fortune Feimster?

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.