348 - Man Oh Man What A Surprise!

Shenanigans from the surprise bucks party Hamish threw for Andy are revealed. Andy puts Hamish & Jack to work creating songs for his and Bec’s new home security system. Huge news: a sponsor has been secured for The Price Is Correct Game Show, so the team takes a TV studio tour in preparation. And after Hamish & Andy scoffed at Jack’s request for a paid assistant to help with the board game, they may have finally granted his wish. The Game Show Studio Tour The Security Songs Jack meets his new PA

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me Bella Hamish.

• 0:26Speaker 03

  Ah, things that could be then preceded by the word ball.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Bella the ball.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  Belle of, no, that's Belle of.

• 0:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, but slang.

• 0:35Speaker 03

  Okay, fine, we're characters from Twilight.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  He's got it.

• 0:39Speaker 03

  Wow, Tom.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:41Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 0:43Speaker 03

  That's how I get them. I distract him with my left hand and I cover with the right, right overhand, bang, knockout punch.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  Ahoy to my Edward, that is you, Jack.

• 0:53Speaker 03

  Was that Robert Pattinson?

• 0:54Speaker 02

  You are Robert Pattinson.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  Don't try and get extra points now, Jack, the title has been taken.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  You are Bella Hamish's main love interest and ahoy to me Jacob, Jacob Black.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  The wolf.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Bella's werewolf best friend who develops romantic feelings for her.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  I'm not sure if they're unrequited or required, but I haven't seen a single piece of vision for any of those films.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  I have and I'm, I'm just a, I'm just a girl trying to get through, you know, high school's tough enough.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  This is not a, this is not the tagline of the film, but it could be.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  High school's tough enough, let alone when you're trapped between a werewolf and a vampire as your two love interests. You know, that's a lot for a team to take on.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  It would be a heap.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  Ahoy also.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Again, not from the poster, but it could be. Ahoy also to Emma, who went to hamishandandy.com and uploaded some audio to tell us what she's been up to.

• 1:50Speaker 04

  Ahoy, big boys and the one little boy, of course. I'd like to report on a gusto check that I've recently completed. I was at our junior's presentation morning for our mutual hockey club this weekend when I thought I'd carry out a gusto check on the special guest speaker, Mr. Andy Lee. Unfortunately for Andy, he had been kidnapped the day before by his groomsmen for his Bucks party and yet he still managed to show off and make the kids' day. I scored him as a solid nine out of 10 for the greeting. He came in with a bit of gusto and kept the energy high throughout. One point deducted for trying to delicately explain to the eight-year-olds what a hangover was and why you're so tired after a party as an adult. For energy, I gave an 11 out of 10. Originally an eight out of 10, but I felt an extra few points were valid for fronting up as

• 2:34Speaker 04

  well as he did post Bucks. Overall, excellent gusto shown by Andy, especially given the circumstances.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Well done. And it was a weekend of high gusto. So you would have been forgiven for being out of gusto by Sunday.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  She's being generous. Well, from the photos I saw of you at the presentation, I think that's a generous

• 2:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, so do I.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  It looked like you, it looked like you.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Well, I looked like I'd been drinking from 10am till 4am.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  It looked like Johnny Depp's mugshot.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  That's what it reminded, that's what I wanted to superimpose on those photos you sent from, because of course it was your Bucks weekend.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Surprise Bucks.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  From a.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Surprise, surprise Bucks, yeah.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  I mean, you guys, you guys know most of what happened. You were, here's the part we haven't discussed. You were all hiding in the basement of my new house that's getting built and the builder told me I had to be there at 10am on Saturday to go through a number of things that we needed to look at. And I thought, great, because I've got a list of things I wanted to bring up with him. I arrived there, he's obviously trying to lure me down to the basement.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Because we were hiding, it felt like ages we were down in the dark.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  And we're some 50 metres below the surface.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Not a lot of oxygen.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  So he says to me, I think we should start in the basement and then work our way up to, and I was like, no, I want to start on the side fence. And he's going, well, I really think I should start at the basement. I'm like, no, mate, we're already up here. So little did I know that you're waiting for me to go through my list of issues with

• 4:02Speaker 03

  20, 25 people and in the, in the dark too.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  It was actually dangerous because if he had, if Andy had a list for everything in the house, we would still be down there.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely, Jack. Even if it was for 1% of things in the house, we'd still be down there. Try, it's so funny when you do a surprise, especially when it's just all guys for some reason. Just because it's just school, it's just school giggling. And you get quiet way too early because people panic. You know, you don't want to blow the surprise.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  And it was pitch black.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Pitch black. Um, Hogg was in charge of like connecting the building lights, like as soon as you walked in. But it just goes through like waves of, you know, it should be getting more and more serious as every minute passes. But people get complacent because they're like, well, if he hasn't come in, he's never coming in. So then they start talking and like, there's a lot of shushing and a lot of like pushing each other in the dark. And then in a room full too, I mean, your mates and the wider guys that are going to the wedding, they're funny guys.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  It's too tempting for 25 guys that love heckling to just let the silence go on for that long. It was so lucky you came in in a lull in basically just the giggles and the, and the heckling.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Well, I was absolutely surprised. Without going into everything that happened at the Bucks, there was another thing.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  No, no, I think we've got a good agreement not to do that.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  There was a part where we were playing golf.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Right? And this is the part I wanted to bring up, where something happened to Jack that I, amazing.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Well, he, oh, yeah, when he, when the P's thing?

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. So something happened to Jack that he never thought would happen in his whole life.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  That's true. It's true.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  To give a quick backstory to it.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  It was incredible to see.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Jack offered to fill in for our cricket team once, not realising that most of my friends take sport extremely seriously and, and a pretty good sport.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Have you ever played cricket before, Jack?

• 5:53Speaker 02

  Not like, I played with my dad in the backyard.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  But I was brand new to the show. This is going 15 plus years ago now. And I really wanted to like offer my services as much as I could. Like, yes, you need a cricket player? I'll come down and help. No worries.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Of course, extracurricular team building.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  And that was a point where you nearly cost us the game with lack of ability. And my friends were like, why have you bought this guy? Because they do take sport seriously. And since then, you've been a bit scared of Ross and a few of my friends. So.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I try, I may know, I have tried to avoid him for the last 15 years.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  We're playing golf.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Jack gets called up. There's always an individual shot. He's got 25 of my mates around all with beers.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  The team and it like, the way we'd formatted, it was basically everyone versus Andy. So everyone had to have one go versus Andy.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. And the team needed you, Jack.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  You hit the best shot I've ever seen you hit.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  That was the best shot I've ever hit at the golf club.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  The crowd erupts with excitement for him. And Ross just turns to you calmly and goes, well done, Jack. Well done. We needed that.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  It felt so good.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  It felt so, so good.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Before our eyes, your voice broke, you grew up a year and finally the little boy became a man.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  It was unbelievable.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  Yes. So congratulations, Jack.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  I was swarmed by your friends and then, so that already felt amazing. And then Ross, like the character in a movie who doesn't need to be front and centre, but just at the back nodding like you've done well for me. And I was so happy.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  You looked out through the saloon doors and saw the cowboy that says nothing, just tippies out to you and walk away. And that was worth more than everyone in the saloon patting you on the back.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  That's exactly right. Uh, can I just say to both of you, particularly, hey, who organised it, I had the best day. Um, plenty of other things happened. Had 25 guys hitting golf balls. That'd be, well, I was nude with a helmet running down the fairway.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  That's where I should have said my great shot for, because no one hit you.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  That's definitely one of those ideas you have where you're like, oh God, he's going to get, you know, he's going to be covered black and blue. And probably the closest ball was about 15 metres away.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Not quite the firing range.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  Tough to finish up at 4am, an hour out of the city, uh, to have to go back and present the medals for the junior presentation day at the Canbokie Club. And I appreciate getting a gusto check of 10 or 11, but I'm sure it was barely a four. Um, I'm, we've got to get into this because there is a huge announcement.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  It's big.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  We have a sponsor for the game show, everyone. The price is correct is a go. Now, can we name that sponsor here on this pod? No, we can't.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  That's our other announcement. The other announcement is an interesting glimpse into sponsorship models and how you can have a podcast show sponsor who ask, rightly so, to be the only brand mentioned in the show. I mean, Jack obviously flaunts that from time to time.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  They would like to be the only sponsor and we would like them to have that airtime.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  Very grateful, very grateful. So they're the, our exclusive sponsor at the moment. That means you can't mention other sponsors. So the sponsor for the game show, you'll find out online when you watch the game show. But what it does mean.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  They know who they are.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Oh, they love it. They love who they are. They love their brand. And they're going well enough to sponsor our game show.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  Can we hint?

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Can we hint? No, I'm getting a huge shake of the head. No, we can't hint. Don't hint.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  Well, they were great operating. They were a good business. Okay. So we've been through this several times. We're not here to play games with the rules.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Could you give like a URL or something like?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  And.com forward slash find out the sponsor and then it's.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  I think the whole point is, you know, the whole gag order exists to keep the system correct.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  We like edging against rules. Um, the, the riot act, I suppose, I was read before this section of the pod. It means I'm less inclined to have a little lean against the rules on this one. Um, hey, and what it does mean is that we're going to make a game show for people who, I mean, we've let this lay dormant because we're trying to find a sponsor for a long time and we're so grateful that one's come ahead to fruition.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  And you got, well, half a Bitcoin, the best part of a Bitcoin.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Yep. Bitcoin minus taxes.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Yep. Two, try and flush out your impulse buying.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  You spent $75,000 in 40 minutes on Instagram. I have no idea of the prizes that you have bought.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  I'll be honest with you, I'd forgot a lot of them too. I'm just looking at the spreadsheet here going, even sometimes I'm looking at the, I'm looking at the description going, what does that even mean?

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Right. Well, that's exciting because our listeners will get a chance to win all of those in our game show. The first thing we had to do was head to a studio. We went to a studio called NEP, the three of us, which are famous for doing many, many TV shows over the ride. And, uh, we went there just to suss out what we could possibly do and when we could put on the game show. We arrived in the loading dock of NEP Studios in South Melbourne that has been the home of many famous shows over the years, including Deal or No Deal, Dancing with the Stars, Family Feud, and also the home of some early Hamish and Andy history. Jack, this is where Andy and I started our career. Is it really? In television. Yeah.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Not in the loading bay, we were allowed to have an office.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  They literally just walked in off the street into the loading bay. No, but yeah, that's that studio there.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  So is it nostalgic for you to come back here? I mean, the show was only on air for like a few weeks, wasn't it?

• 11:35Speaker 02

  To bring up the fact that it's.

• 11:36Speaker 05

  It's hard to be nostalgic about something so short.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  A beloved boutique here for Australia.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  But I mean, Jack's been in here. He did the Hundred.

• 11:43Speaker 05

  I've been on the Hundred, yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Oh mate, have you got me for bringing up the past? That was months ago.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  It was only one episode.

• 11:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was only one episode. I actually thought that that might like, because that's the first time I ever been on a panel show. I thought then like other shows would start calling and be like, okay, we'll get you.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Usually if you're good, yeah.

• 12:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Oh, do you not get those calls?

• 12:02Speaker 05

  No one's called.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Oh, maybe they.

• 12:04Speaker 05

  How do they know your number though?

• 12:05Speaker 03

  They might have written you a letter. Check your letterbox.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  Do you have a manager?

• 12:09Speaker 05

  No, I'm self-managed.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Well then, then that's how they, how are they gonna?

• 12:12Speaker 05

  But how do they know how to get to me?

• 12:14Speaker 03

  You do have a manager.

• 12:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, see, they're probably.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Claude.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, he writes my contracts.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Anyway, that's what we're here for. Do you know the first thing I love about this? This is the right spot because it's just got a big loading bay. Now, the thing that I'm in charge of, prizes, that's what I'm looking for. How are we getting the prizes in and out? And who's helping me? Because I'm not doing that.

• 12:34Speaker 05

  No, of course.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  But like, at what point can I hand it off?

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Well, how, how big is some of the?

• 12:40Speaker 03

  They range in size from very, very small to hefty.

• 12:44Speaker 05

  Well, this is a huge loading bay. Like you'd fit.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Mate, they probably do game shows in here where you have to be able to bring in a car or whatever.

• 12:51Speaker 05

  Is it bigger than a car, what you're bringing in?

• 12:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Bigger than a jet ski?

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:58Speaker 05

  Is one of the things a jet ski?

• 13:00Speaker 03

  No, because that wouldn't be bigger than a jet ski, Jack. But it could also, they could also be, they could also be a jet ski. It's a jet ski with a ribbon, so it is bigger than a jet ski.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Well, um, yeah, Pete and Rosie and Tony are going to show us through.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, great.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  Being in your best behaviour.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  They're doing us some favours.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  What are we looking for here? Like, how many people are on the show? Two hundred? Audience?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  All have to ask them. I don't know how many people they could be there.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  Can we have bleachers?

• 13:26Speaker 02

  I'd love a bleach.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  I'd like a bleacher.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Tears, tears feel more game.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Because I know we're not exactly doing the prizes, right? Like, but it is inspired by and bleachers. Come on through. Like, if it's all floor level seating, isn't as powerful as come on down.

• 13:40Speaker 05

  But it's probably better for copyright though.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Well, might make your, what might make your way down?

• 13:47Speaker 03

  Make your way through is very clear for copyright.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  What if we, I mean, is it cheaper? Like, could we get a discount if we don't hire the chairs and everyone stands like Top Gear?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Well, we should ask them. But you know what?

• 13:59Speaker 03

  Hey, knock off chair rental. We don't need them.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  It would be cheaper.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Come on through.

• 14:02Speaker 05

  Did the audience stand for the whole episode of Top Gear?

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, early Top Gear. They were like crowded all around the guy.

• 14:08Speaker 05

  I would have hated that. Because you would have been like, oh great, we're going to Top Gear. We got tickets. And you get there, you're like, wait, all episodes?

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Particularly short. You can't see anything.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I think they put the most well behaved ones behind the hosts. Because you could see they were trying very hard to like not draw attention.

• 14:23Speaker 05

  And you know how it works. Sometimes like to make an hour show, it probably took like four hours.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  And also it takes, also if like, if the, if you know Clarkson was like, oh, sorry guys, we're just gonna do that again. You'd start hearing groans from the audience because they're like, we're tired.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Well, that's, what's our policy on that, by the way? Because that speaks to hiring. Like how?

• 14:40Speaker 03

  No, no retakes.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  No retakes.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  That's on you too. You're technically the host here. Again, interesting since I've won several logis for hosting.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Long time ago, gosh.

• 14:51Speaker 05

  Andy's hosting the show. What are you like the prize?

• 14:53Speaker 03

  I guess I'm bringing the prizes out.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  We're both hosting the show. I'll, I'll be throwing to him for the prize pool and that's going to be the biggest part.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  You're gonna, you're gonna keep things running though? You think you can do it with no retakes?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  You shut up. Yeah, I'm not gonna be a problem at all.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Do you want an autocue? No autocue?

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Uh, no, I'd be fine with no autocue. Yeah, yeah. It's not like Lego where you stick around for 24 hours just to watch people, you know.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  I'm only in the final.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Right, well, that's seven hours and you pop up like four or five.

• 15:17Speaker 05

  I went to visit one set once and he's not out there the whole time. You're going for a 12 hour field house. Yeah, but come on, you were hardly out there.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  I'm out the back. Yeah. And last season I had.

• 15:27Speaker 05

  You had a bed?

• 15:29Speaker 03

  I had a couch, but I could sleep on it. And I had virtual reality golf. I was playing on the back.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Time to meet Tony, Rosie and Pete, who'd be giving us a tour and working out how much Hamish's ideas might cost us.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Hello guys. Great to be back on this Hello tour. Have you had any other shows in here since Hamish and Andy or did you? Did all the staff sort of like as a protest go, if you're gonna accent, we're never gonna help out any other shows?

• 15:52Speaker 02

  We've had a few game shows here and there.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Okay. Pete, well, you gotta keep the light side. I mean, it has been 20, 20 years.

• 15:57Speaker 05

  Pete worked on Hamish and Andy.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. But did you ever enjoy anything as much?

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  No.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  We're going to Studio A.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  That's a slightly bigger one.

• 16:09Speaker 05

  That is bigger.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Can you just settle this myth for us once and for all? Because, and you know what I'm gonna say too? Even back then, 20 years ago, when we were doing the show over in B, people would be like, oh, go over to Studio A. I think they've still got the pool under there from a show called Man Oh Man, which was in the 90s.

• 16:26Speaker 05

  Where, it was a dating show where you pushed your man into the pool if you didn't want to select him.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  As a way of, you know, before we knew about swiping left and right, as a way of selecting partners, we used to push them in the pool or keep them dry. Is the pool still there?

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Still there.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  It's full of water. It's not full of water.

• 16:42Speaker 05

  The filtration system's still active.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  It's not full of water.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's full of water.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Why, why are you keeping it full of water if it's underneath the?

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Oh, it's, if we emptied it, it would potentially crack. So we're just leaving it status quo. Has it ever been touched again? Uh, we rebuilt it in 2014 for an open day.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  Well, it's a bit green under the gills, but it cleaned up okay.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  Could we use it?

• 17:05Speaker 05

  No.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  Please, I've been here for three years and I haven't seen it.

• 17:09Speaker 03

  Like, how hard is it?

• 17:10Speaker 05

  It's gonna add.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  Oh, you could put the jet ski in the pool. We could do, we could do, we could do. I mean, I'm just changing, I'm changing the whole format. Could we do, you know, like prices with the prices wrong? We push people in the pool. Put a bucket load of chlorine and we'll make it work, I'm sure. But I mean, how hard is it to reveal the pool?

• 17:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, be careful.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  How hard is it to reveal the pool? No, it just takes a day and we take the lid off and clean the water. I'll come and help. I mean, Andy would.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Is anything possible?

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Is it expensive?

• 17:41Speaker 05

  Five grand?

• 17:41Speaker 02

  10 grand?

• 17:43Speaker 04

  I just wanna see the pool. I'll make, make it happen.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Five grand and a pair of Cosies and.

• 17:50Speaker 05

  Let's go in.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, hey.

• 17:52Speaker 05

  What's our idea for it? I like.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  Now we have a pool and now we think of the show.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  This actually sits perfectly what we've been doing, Jack. We've got all the prizes without a show. We may as well just throw a pool in.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Just have a pool, build it around the pool.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  We opened the giant soundproof door to reveal a cavernous empty studio with thousands of lights hanging from the ceiling. And a pool buried somewhere underneath the black hardwood floor.

• 18:18Speaker 05

  Wow, this is huge. This is huge. Tipping point's in here, isn't it?

• 18:23Speaker 03

  It was in here.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  It was.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  It's gone elsewhere.

• 18:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:27Speaker 05

  Those bastards. I'm not tuning in anymore.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  I started in. I did Neighbours, week one, F1.

• 18:34Speaker 05

  You did the first episode of Neighbours.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  I did Neighbours, week one, episode one, block one. In here? What was the shoot? Like, what was the set? The set was, um, Robinson's over there. Ramsey's over here. What's Robinson? Oh, the house. In here of the house. Yeah, Robinson's house from Pinot Court out of None of, None of One. Yeah. And I was a trainee boom up. I didn't get a credit on the show, but I was just a trainee kid who came in and said, go in there. So you were just holding a broomstick with a sock on the end? That's it. That was it. If you can do the broomstick, if you can do the boom up. You had a job in television.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Blue Heelers was.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, the bar at Blue Heelers was through there, wasn't it?

• 19:11Speaker 02

  For anyone under 40, uh, Blue Heelers is a police drama set in a small country town.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Which, given the fact it went for 13 seasons, had to be the most crime-riddled town in Australia. Because we'd sometimes come down and have meetings at the bar of Blue Heelers.

• 19:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, and you couldn't, yeah, and we couldn't, we couldn't believe that it wasn't actually at a pub.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're learning a lot about TV. Not enough as it turned out. They axed us.

• 19:37Speaker 03

  Sorry, can I just throw something out there? You obviously mentioned that the tipping point was here and they went somewhere else and that was a bit, and I detected an air of, you know, oh, just an air of disappointment that they've.

• 19:48Speaker 05

  Disappointment.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  That they didn't appreciate the beautiful facilities here and they moved. Would it make you feel better if you now had a show called The Tip-In Point?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  The Tip-In Point, which utilizes the pool from Man Oh Man, which is a mere 30 years ago. And we play The Tip-In Point where somehow, we'll figure this out, based on estimating.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  They keep risking prizes.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Risking prizes till you reach the tip in point.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  We got it. That's good, mate, that is.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  So whilst I was focused on the logistics of seating and cameras and sets, I was concentrating on the rapidly evolving format now that we definitely had the pool. Do you guys have bleachers?

• 20:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  Because it's nice to say make your way down.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's nice to say that.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then we're thinking.

• 20:35Speaker 05

  134 people in them.

• 20:36Speaker 02

  134 people in the bleachers. Done. Sold.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  That sounds like a good number.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  Make your, was that Price is Right numbers? Would you know how many was in the order to Price is Right?

• 20:44Speaker 05

  I don't know. I reckon it was that, Pete. So Price is Right was here as well?

• 20:48Speaker 03

  No, not.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  Deal or no deal is here.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  Should we get one of the, the early season fembots to have a briefcase?

• 20:56Speaker 05

  From Deal or No Deal?

• 20:57Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 20:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, how? What, what, what do you say? How they?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  I don't know, mate. We're figuring out the format. But for one of the prizes, maybe we could have, maybe that could be one of the games.

• 21:06Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  Featuring, you know, the, one of the golden briefcases.

• 21:10Speaker 05

  Just a quick game of Deal or No Deal.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  With two briefcases. Agreement or no agreement?

• 21:17Speaker 05

  Two, two briefcases would be fun. It's just like a very, very quick round.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Quick round of two briefcases.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, what's?

• 21:24Speaker 02

  You've got, you've got a prize.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  If you get it wrong, you get closer to the tip in point.

• 21:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Could we put a plank over the pool? So it's sort of like a pirate's plank and that's the tip in point? Do you know what I mean?

• 21:35Speaker 02

  I just want to keep walking along.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  You gotta keep walking and then we just like tip people in. So there's a fun way to tip people in.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, health and safety is gonna be an issue.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  A mere hurdle.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  I can, Tony's over there texting the lawyers.

• 21:49Speaker 05

  I like the pushing aspect of Man Oh Man.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, the pushing aspect is great.

• 21:52Speaker 05

  So do their friends like?

• 21:54Speaker 02

  You come down.

• 21:54Speaker 05

  Is that Jack's role? Oh, I could be the pusher.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. Once I've bought the prize in and gone, for example, and one of the prizes isn't this, but like gone, it's a jet pack, right? Once I've done that, which I probably need to be over there a bit more because we want to kind of be bringing them in and out of the loading bay.

• 22:09Speaker 05

  You're like, you'll, you'll wheel most of them in?

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Maybe, yeah. On a pallet or something or a forklift.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  That's a nice idea.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  So someone can drive in your next prize on a pallet. We'll make the pallet look nicer.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  But then once it's in, then I guess we're into running the game. And then, yeah, Jack can be the pusher. I guess is that basically how it happens?

• 22:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think, I mean, is every game someone going in the pool?

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  It's okay. Okay, so we've got to come on down.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  I think you play games to avoid getting closer to the tip in point. I think the losers go in the pool and the winner stays dry and gets a prize.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  And then the losers get a great story to go, you know, the pool from Man O Man.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  From 30 years ago, I've been in it.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 22:49Speaker 05

  We could just make it a prerequisite for entering is you have to be able to swim. So then you don't worry about.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Yes, send a video of yourself swimming.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  We should actually send a video of yourself getting pushed into a pool and recovering easily.

• 23:02Speaker 05

  Would that, would that help the lawyers, Tony? If we, if all audience members could send a video of them being pushed into a pool and showing that they recover.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, with a document and waving.

• 23:12Speaker 05

  Oh, a waiver will be.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  And then they get out of the pool and then they sign.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  Then they sign.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  That'd be fine.

• 23:17Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  That's how the lawyers would run it.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  So no one's used the pool on a television show since Man O Man?

• 23:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, correct. Oh. It did get used for a movie.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Sorry about that.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  What movie?

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Man O Man the movie.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Nicholas Cage. Oh, Ghost Rider. Yes, Ghost Rider.

• 23:35Speaker 05

  Ghost Rider used the Man O Man.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  So was Nicolas Cage in the pool? Yeah, I think he was. Oh.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  So that's also an incentive. If you lose, you're going to change to a pool that Nicolas Cage has been in.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  A dinner party anecdote. The people that haven't listened to the podcast are like, sorry to interrupt, Kevin, and tell us about your promotion in a second. But does anyone remember the game show Man O Man from the nineties? I've been in that pool.

• 24:01Speaker 05

  So was Nicolas Cage.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Fair to say the pool revelation had got me very excited.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  And fair to say whilst I was also excited, it did raise a few new logistical challenges.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  Within the stands, do we have a wet section and a dry section? Like, once you're in.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  I think we're just going to bring your own towel or we have volunteer army, like 10 to 20 towel boys and girls, or men and women, who will be toweling off.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  You mean people to come in and towel the stage?

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, just, just, just keep everything dry. Maybe there's just got to be a path to get out, so it's not a heavily wet studio.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, like at the basketball, when the kids run out.

• 24:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Or what if you're in, when you're in the pool, you stay in until the end of the episode?

• 24:43Speaker 03

  Until everyone's, we don't stop till everyone's in the pool.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  How, how warm's the pool, do you know? Not heated. The heater doesn't work anymore. Yeah, the heater doesn't work.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  What if everyone had to come in a wet suit?

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Probably a good safeguard.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  Like wet suit and clothes over it.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  Are you shooting in summer?

• 25:00Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, November.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Ah, you're fine.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Like wet suit, but with clothes over it.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  And then, because we like the idea that like, you know, the game's not over till everyone's in the pool.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Mate, it's going to be cold.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's why in the wet suit. No one's, no one's people start.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that'll help.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, it's kind of like the, I don't know if you've ever been to a swim up bar, but they, it's self-heating water probably after, after a point.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I, I reckon we're doing away with it.

• 25:31Speaker 05

  Get them out of the pool.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  All right, get them out of the pool.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Let's go and look for the control panel. All right, we're heading into control room. It seriously is like NASA. There would be around 40 TV screens, I would say 400 buttons. There's a lot of comms and essentially this is where every camera gets fed and someone has to decide what actually goes to where. What's the biggest show as far as how many cameras you've done? Because you can patch in a heap here.

• 25:57Speaker 05

  Well, they've done test matches in here, haven't they?

• 26:00Speaker 02

  We do the AFL remotely from here. How many cameras?

• 26:02Speaker 05

  30 plus cameras.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  30 plus cameras.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  Can we share something with you? As we were like, we were talking about this a couple of days ago, Jack goes, oh, when I was at uni, I, he did vision switching for, what was it, Jack?

• 26:14Speaker 05

  I did a film and television diploma at TAFE and I can, well, it looks a little bit different to the one I used 20 years ago, but I have been educated in how to switch from one camera to another.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  What chance would Jack have coming in 20, from a 20-year-old TAFE technology standpoint to now sit in that chair with no help?

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Jump in now, go.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Come on, look, see if you can do it.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Was it money well spent for your hex degree? Tell us.

• 26:42Speaker 05

  First thing I can tell you is it wasn't this big, the one we had in Collingwood.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  These, what do you say?

• 26:48Speaker 02

  To describe it for everybody. If you had to push one button. Okay.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Imagine you took your favourite niece or nephew to NASA and they had to launch a space shuttle.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  There'd be over 200 buttons sitting in front of it and, and.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  All right, Jack.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  And a lot of what looks like gear shifts.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  Okay, the gear shifts, I do know that fades from one camera to another.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  What else do you see, Jack? And just by the way, I can read as well. So just going, well, one says prev bank, one says ME1 split, ME1 zoom. That doesn't really count as anything because I can read that.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  Yes. I thought it would come back to me like riding a bike, but nothing's really coming back.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  What show did you vision switch?

• 27:33Speaker 05

  We had to make our own show and actually they needed people, so amongst the students, we made our own show and they needed someone to be the presenter of the show and I wanted to be the presenter. So I actually didn't spend too much time in the booth.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  I cannot believe you thought you were going to sit in here and make a director show.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  I mean, what do you guess, Jack? Because I think Hamish and I can make an educated guess.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Literally, what would you press to make the main feed be camera one?

• 28:03Speaker 05

  All right.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  I don't even understand enough to ask the question properly, but like, where would you start?

• 28:08Speaker 05

  I don't know. I'd like, there's about 20 different zones with each that have their own 20 buttons and I wouldn't even know which zone to start, but I would press, I'd press home. Can I press home, Pete?

• 28:20Speaker 02

  You can, but it's not what you want to do when you're on air.

• 28:22Speaker 05

  And then exit to get back to the main menu.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Audio through here?

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Audio, yes.

• 28:30Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  And we're going to make sure that.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  We'll obviously not push any mic, microphones in the pool.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  So the tricky thing about the contestants is a lot of it will be boomed because we won't have, we're going to have mics on people when they're at the tip in point. Play the game and if you lose, we quickly demike you and then you're over to the tip in point and from that point you're boomed.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Well, you're nominated first position and then bring people up.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  It was no, no, like no takes, you were just full going live, so now you. You're right. I mean, a live game show doesn't, how much does it add?

• 29:01Speaker 02

  I don't think it adds anything.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  I think what it does is just try to put more pressure on us.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:09Speaker 05

  Which we do like having, we do like putting us under pressure so we can then laugh at each other when we fail. But I think for the good of the viewer.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:17Speaker 05

  We should aim to have some cut points.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 05

  And transitions.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we can quickly demike someone for the, now that we've got the thrill of someone falling in. We didn't have the pool when you said that, so. Back then it was a, it was like sort of a more of a daring stage play, but now it's a production on par with Nicolas Cage's Ghost Rider.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  There you go. The tip in point.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Tip in point, I mean, it friggin' writes itself, to be honest. Do we know how the mechanic works? Not really, but I mean, just based off, you can tell the excitement. We can all feel it.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  You get stuff right.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  You move away from the pool.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  You get stuff wrong.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  You're in. You're going to get closer to the point where you're tipped in, the tip in point.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  What have, and we were, what about this, Ando? Even if you've won something, and again, this is still a work in progress, but even if you win something on the show, once you're wet, that's all you get.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  What a great slogan.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  So it's like.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Once you're wet, if you're in the pool.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  You know, you're out, you're out of the game. In the pool, out of the game, once you're wet, that's all you get.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, we will have more details about how the game actually works, but also how.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Can't stress it enough, the idea is the easy bit, Jack. Now we must do the hard work.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  And how you guys can all be involved and be a part of the show in future weeks.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Expect a flood of updates incoming, but that was a critical step that we just took.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Last week on the show, I revealed that Beck wanted a proper security system for the house because she'd get scared in our house. And then since then, during the week, so many people have come to me and gone, of course. I, I get scared with like too many windows and stuff and I think.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  And it's, I mean, Ando, you're building a castle. I mean, in olden days, kings would have an army to protect them, but it's just, you know, it's just you two and the dog. So you need something.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  Yes, and when we talked to the security system people, they said, what do you want to do once they're in, the criminal is in the house? And there was a discussion of whether we wanted to trap them or not. And also what do we want to play them? And I didn't realise that we could play something.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  And he said, you can play whatever you want. So I gave you both the task.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Of giving me a song and whoever wins this will be the security. The security tape as to what will be played to a criminal if they get in.

• 31:54Speaker 03

  I think we're going to play mine first and from memory, the standpoint, I've written this from Ando is that, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's sort of like they can get sealed in a section and then kind of like encouraged to leave.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Through a certain path, so it's sort of like the doors that would lead to, you know, more of the house are like sealed off, panic room style. And they're kind of like, is that it?

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then this song could be, I mean, if you've chosen going down this, that path, somewhat directional to the criminals and instructional.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  I, I think I've made a few references about how to now please leave.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  So you're at a castle and now you're stuck in this abode. The robotic system's activated, intruder mode. You played on the golf sim and rode on the dog's heated floor, but then you were locked.

• 32:52Speaker 05

  Locked in with a bulletproof door. It's actually illegal, hence the alarm and flashing lights. But I hope you had the crime of your life.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Please leave. Follow the green lights to exit. Thank you so much.

• 33:14Speaker 05

  You're not a bad person and you had to shoot your shot. What did you see, target? Look at all the fireplaces they've got. Don't feel bad, you got nothing and you're leaving into the night. For what it's worth, you're the second guy who's tried. Please don't protest poo on the couch like the other guy. We hope you had the crime of your life.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Gonna miss you, man.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Please leave.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  You know, I think you just frame it in the spirit of, hey, you know, no one's holding it against you. You're a burglar. Of course you're gonna have a shot at the big fish. But we got you and we hope you had fun. But that's the game and we're gonna have to get you to go.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Protest poo on the couch is the only lyric I'm nervous about because it could give them an idea.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  That's. I think you've got to be honest here, Anna, and go, look, if someone has been captured here in this kind of rat's maze that you're making, this robotic rat's maze, it's gonna be the first thing they think. They're gonna be disappointed they're leaving with no cash and prizes.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  So he might protest poo. And I think if you just sort of get on your level and go, look, we're all thinking it. We'd rather you didn't. And we're, you know, please leave.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, that is gonna take some beating.

• 34:41Speaker 05

  Mine's not as nostalgic as yours, definitely. I feel like, cause when I listened to that, I felt like all my previous crimes would have flashed before my eyes and all the burglaries that led to this point.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Because really, you know.

• 34:56Speaker 02

  What was, what was the crime of my life?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  I'm trying to get in the mind here of a house burglar. And if you are one, yours is surely the grand final. Because it's the biggest house in the world, so.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  It's not, it's not.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  It's going, you lost the grand final. Again, that's not a nice feeling for anyone. But you have lost and rules the rules. You're now sealed in.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  So try and think of all the great things that you've done. You did have fun at the golf scene. Maybe rolled around the dog's heated floor, but we gotta, you know, that's life. We gotta take our medicine.

• 35:28Speaker 05

  And as they tell the losing team on grand final day, don't do a poo on the oval before you leave.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Probably, they probably would be thinking about it.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay, so, um, good. Tough for you, Jack, because you've seen the diver before. You do like a double, triple axle with a minimal splash, because Hamish did do a good performance, so.

• 35:49Speaker 05

  Mine is not as friendly, but it is the same message. It's telling the criminal that it's time to move on now.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  You must have broken through a window using gusto. Here's the thing, no. We need you leaving through the front door of one of 10 doors on the ground floor. Don't be stopping at the home gym or the sauna or the golf sim. You'll be getting in some trouble if you travel through the tunnel. Andy will be okay. Yes, Andy will be okay if you leave today. Andy will be okay. Yes, Andy will be okay if you go away. Andy will be okay, but you came here on his birthday. Now he's gotta hide away up the top of one of his spiral stairway. No dog on guard, she's in a mud bath at the day spa. Using advantage of a window, Andy open for a smoke hole. It's time for you to, time for you to move on criminal.

• 36:46Speaker 05

  Oh, Stephen.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Good. Wow. Wow, really good, Jack.

• 36:52Speaker 05

  This is tough.

• 36:55Speaker 05

  You know what?

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Could we have some sort of criminal jukebox where we just keep doing these songs? Before, because I mean, I also had one that was in the running with, you've got to go now. You've got to say goodbye. Because they've probably enjoyed being in the house so much. So maybe Jack and I just keep recording one a week until the house is done. And then they have a selection of 99 songs.

• 37:20Speaker 05

  And then when you get, meet up with other criminals, you can be like, which song?

• 37:22Speaker 02

  What did you get?

• 37:25Speaker 05

  I got smooth criminal too.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  I'm going to ask whether there's a system that they can put in where it can be rotated. And if anyone else wants to send in a song.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  What about this? What about this? If, you know, because you'd obviously have a grid of the house.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  What about if they're captured in the front 5,000 square meters? It's Jack's song. But if they're in the back 6,500, it's my song. And then if they're, if they're in any of the 10,000 foot basement.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  It's just, you just, we'll have another song for that.

• 37:58Speaker 05

  And you might even, if the house is so big, you might get one criminal robbing the front while you got another criminal robbing the back.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  You might need two tracks. Two tracks, because otherwise the noises will be confusing and we'd be out of sync and it wouldn't actually do justice to our songs.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Enough.

• 38:12Speaker 05

  Enough.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Jack, last week on the show, we talked about the board game.

• 38:23Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Yes. And you made a plea for acknowledgement of how hard life is for you.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  No, I don't know how hard life is, but just that it's a lot harder to make a board game than people think. Everyone thinks it's an easy thing to do and it's a hard thing to do.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  You were facing the uncomfortable resistance of going, wait a second. The, I, you found out you were only, you know, less than 10% down the journey of completing it by having the idea. So you just wanted assurances that not only did we understand that you were about to do a lot of hard unseen work, but you wanted assurances that, um, something along the lines of, if my memory serves correctly, that we're not allowed to complain, no one's allowed to complain. And I think there was even maybe a request for universal adoration.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, if people missed it, I've just clipped it up. This is last week.

• 39:14Speaker 05

  Everybody thinks it's very easy to make a board game, but it's actually very, very hard. I guess what I want from you is an acknowledgement of that.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  So sorry, you need us to go, we're very proud of you. You're a very special boy, even though you've done no work on this yet.

• 39:30Speaker 05

  I would like to request one paid assistant.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Just say you're not gonna do it. Just give up.

• 39:38Speaker 05

  No, I'm gonna do it.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  But then what do you want from this?

• 39:42Speaker 05

  I want a paid, a paid assistant.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  No, you don't, because you're just trying to get out of work.

• 39:46Speaker 05

  No, he, he or she will do some of the labour intensive stuff while I do the, the brain stuff.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Great, okay. There was a request made for a paid assistant. Hamish and I scoffed at the time, but during the week we thought, well, if the boy, if he thinks this is the only thing that's getting in his way.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  Well, like, could, you know, if we ever wanna see any kind of resolution to this arc.

• 40:12Speaker 05

  You gotta pay money to make money, right? Spend money to make money.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  So we were thinking to ourselves, and I like the way that even just listening back to it, you're like, I want one paid assistant, as if five would be outlandish, but one is reasonable. So we thought, all right, you know what? On a trial basis, on a one month basis, let's grant Jack his wish to see if this like turbocharges the productivity of the board game mission.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  And I was at work and someone I work with is called Alila. She's a production coordinator at Lee Bones.

• 40:44Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  Her, uh, boyfriend has just finished fruit picking for three months up north to get his visa and he's arrived. He's, currently he's at 1-800-GOT-JUNK, um, picking up junk in different trucks, but he can afford one day a week to be at your disposal and he joins us now. Dolta, thank you very much. Yours is the first you're hearing about the job? I said, I, cause I didn't really feel like it was Jack and, sorry, Hamish in my place to tell you, you're going to be working for Jack.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  He's a board game mogul and you need to, well, I guess we'll let, first of all, hello. And then Jack can tell you your responsibilities. How are you, Dolta?

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Uh, good, thanks, very.

• 41:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, good. Yeah, good. Dolta, do you mind if I just put you on hold a second and have a chat to my colleagues and then I'll come straight back?

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Uh, no problem at all, yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 05

  Okay. I, he's got no board game experience.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  But he's an assistant. What did you want? Do you want a professional board game person to come and make it for you?

• 41:44Speaker 05

  Like, oh, I work with Alila. I thought you were gonna say, and her boyfriend just completed the, the board game course at the university.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Assistant.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  Jack is the carrier, the jobs, you're his boss. You're the one that's meant to know what to do.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Nothing to do with board game. But that's the, he's just a good assistant.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  What did you want? Did you want me to just go, and we've actually got, um, Jeff Bradley from Milton Bradley.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  Because nephew or something.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Make the whole board game for you and you're allowed to take the credit.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  His point of having an assistant is you have all the ideas and clarity on what you need done. And then you then pass that on to someone who assists you with the job. That's what assistant is.

• 42:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you would still look for somebody. You would say on the job application, some board game experience would be preferred.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  But he's carrying out your wishes, Jack, that you delegate to him.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Put him, put him back up for a second. Hey, Dolta, have you ever played a board game? Many times. There you go. Some, some.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  And it's only preferred. That's nice that he's got it.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Uh, Dolta, would you like to say hello to your boss?

• 42:45Speaker 05

  Hello, Dolta.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  How are you?

• 42:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, good.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  Jack, what are some of the things that you are expecting from your assistant?

• 42:54Speaker 05

  Well, I guess I would, I actually haven't thought about what your first task would be, but it would have been like, it would have been helping come up with ideas for the board game.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  He could do that.

• 43:07Speaker 05

  Well, what kind of board games do you play, Dolta?

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Uh, the last, you know, uh, Risk, Monopoly, you name it, I played it.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, okay. No, that's, that's the wrong, we don't want Monopoly. That's, that's not for us.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Jack, he's an assistant.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Steve Jobs isn't sitting there trying to invent the iPhone, go to his assistant. I don't know, I've, I've, what about, what about like a hamburger phone or something? What do you think, what do you think people want? Oh, what about a little glass brick?

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good. He would have surrounded himself with like-minded people. That is, that's in certain roles you would, but in an assistant role.

• 43:45Speaker 05

  Their job of the assistant is just to do the tasks.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Carry out the tasks that you need done.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  Okay. Dolta, what kind of roles do you see yourself doing in this job?

• 43:58Speaker 03

  You're trying to make him give himself, you're even outsourcing your managerial tasks to make him manage himself.

• 44:06Speaker 05

  You should have put people listening to this, you should have seen the face Jack gave me after asking the question. He had eye eyebrows and he shook his head.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  Is that what you do?

• 44:16Speaker 05

  I don't know what we're doing here. You should have, you asked for an assistant. Okay, okay. I thought, I just thought I would be able to canvass the people who were applying for the job. Okay, Dolta, I'll ask you this.

• 44:32Speaker 05

  What day of the week can you work?

• 44:36Speaker 05

  Tuesdays, Wednesdays, whenever I need it, really. Okay, and are you in Melbourne? I am, yeah, I'm based in Caersden. Okay, and do you drive? Yep. Okay, and what other skills do you have? Do I need to drive you? That's my, okay. No, just make, yeah, go ahead.

• 45:04Speaker 05

  I'm an expert in banana harvesting, chunk removals, and I have a master's in international history from Columbia in New York. Really? Yeah, so if you want to do a board game specializing in Yugoslav history, I'm your guy. Okay, it's weird to have an assistant who's more educated than you are.

• 45:29Speaker 05

  But that could come in handy, you never know.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Maybe just to help clarify this, when you ask for an assistant, what was in your head that they would be doing that you wouldn't have to do?

• 45:39Speaker 05

  Well, I thought of that, that idea came to me in a moment, but I feel you're adamant about it though.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  I mean, just listen back to it, you said it three times.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, like this would solve all your problems, like there's too much admin to do and you needed someone to help you.

• 45:57Speaker 05

  I just think, I feel like it's going to be one of those things where it's just easier for me to do it myself. Okay.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Is this the strangest job interview you've ever had, Dolta? Where the boss says, I think it's easier if I just do it myself, but you're still hired?

• 46:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, it makes mine a bit easier though, I suppose.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Jack, maybe your daughter's assistant.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  So Jack, I suppose the hard thing for us here is we've gone and provided you exactly what you've asked for. Dolta is going to try and rearrange his days at 1800 Got Junk to spend our day with you. An eight-hour day, we're paying him $50 an hour.

• 46:35Speaker 05

  An eight-hour day?

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Well, that's what normal people do. So do you want to take Dolta for a week and see how you go?

• 46:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, let's do a one-day probation period.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  Yep. So we've fronted in the money and just so you know, Jack, like we can sort this out later, but as an expense, because he's your assistant, to get the part of the job done that you promised to do, it will obviously be coming out of your end.

• 46:58Speaker 05

  No, that will be coming out of the collective, collective.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  He's your assistant.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  He's your assistant. Like, I'm paying for my assistant.

• 47:09Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Hamish pays for his.

• 47:11Speaker 05

  No, because then if I was paying it out of my own, then I would just go and get someone who had board game experience.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  We'll go do that then.

• 47:17Speaker 05

  No, no, no, this is what it should be, I think. And this goes for all costs of the board game here on Fourth.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Just saying Fourth doesn't make it legal.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  All money spent on the board game will be noted and then anything we make from the board game, that will be deducted from the profits that we take.

• 47:42Speaker 02

  We don't agree.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  No, we don't agree. If expenses are approved by the board, which is all three of us.

• 47:48Speaker 05

  Okay, well, what do I do to double don't agree? Like, I don't agree with what you don't agree with.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  Well, do you, let's just have this as a shared expense then, Hamish. We can accept that.

• 48:01Speaker 05

  There will be, there will be shared expenses along the way.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  Well, this is one approved by the board, being that you've got your paid assistant, Dolta. You can connect with him and work out which day you want him to work next week, and then you can maybe let us know how it went.

• 48:14Speaker 05

  Okay, Dolta, I'll see you next week. I'm actually really excited to meet you. Sorry I came across a little cold at the start. That's okay, I'll win you over.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, great, great.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  Mate, how could he not?

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 48:26Speaker 05

  There's not huge chemistry right now, is there?

• 48:28Speaker 02

  Well, because he's boss, he can monetise.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  You're not trying to date him.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Again, Jack, one of the not what you say in a normal job interview. I think you're thinking of The Bachelor.