330 - ⁠Hamish’s Meme Misfire

The boys come up with a plan to show Bec an elegant, dignified way to sneak a respectful nod to golf into her and Andy’s wedding. Darcy is completely blindsided by the first “Darcy Under the Microscope” of the year, and Hamish shares the one meme category that doesn’t land with his wife, Zoë - online or offline. Meanwhile, Jack turns to Andy for help navigating the awkward return of a drum kit he borrowed from Hamish. 1. Horgs Chats Golf at the Wedding 2. Darcy Under the Microscope 3. Hamish's DMs with Zoë 4. How to Return The Drums to Sydney

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two...

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me perimetrium.

• 0:26Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Hamish.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Just before the metrium, huh?

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Okay. Ahoy to me myometrium. Jack.

• 0:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  We're inside the body somewhere.

• 0:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:39Speaker 03

  I think.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  But where, Jack? It's in our tiny shrunk down submarine that we're touring the body in. It's such a big place. Well, maybe where Andy is driving, we'll discover where we are. I think this is probably the one that this is the part that I was like, oh, I recognize this. The other two I didn't know. Endrometrium I am. Oh, are we in the womb?

• 1:00Speaker 03

  We are in the womb.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  In the reproductive system.

• 1:03Speaker 03

  Yes, we are. What are we doing in there?

• 1:07Speaker 03

  No one asked us to go in there.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  You are the outermost layer, Ham. Yeah. Jack is the middle layer, the thickest layer. And I am the innermost layer, the mucous membrane. But together you and I are hugging Jack and making sure that no one can get to him.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  We sure are. And well, I mean, yeah, just for three guys to assume the role of the inner workings of the womb is a... No, we do it. I mean, it's a controversial way to start the show, but.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  No, it's okay. It's a bit progressive.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, we are being progressive. We're being allies.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  I don't think it's scientific. I think it's scientific.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  But it was good science.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Ahoy also to Will, who went to hamishandandy.com to let us know what he's been up to.

• 1:51Speaker 04

  Ahoy, boys. Will here, calling in from a sunny San Francisco. Just a quick note, I think something went a little bit under the radar in last week's pod. At around seven minutes and three seconds, to be exact, Andy did pronounce what I would call a chamois, and I think most would term it that. He did pronounce it as a chamois, which perhaps, Andy, you've got a butler at home, or maybe even a few who are French and perhaps do pronounce them as chamois when they are drying your car off. But I would say the common man is typically calling that a chamois. So, Andy, enjoy the chamois. But yeah, that's lost touch.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  He's gotcha.

• 2:39Speaker 05

  What would you call it?

• 2:40Speaker 02

  I thought, I call it a chamois. I thought a chamois was like the brand name for it.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Chamois, right?

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Very common, man.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Always gonna say that. Are you thinking of the Shamwow?

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Maybe I'm thinking of the Shamwow, that's it.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  I think that was like a home shopping.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  My dad used to call it a chamois, and I wouldn't say he's lost touch. He's passed that down.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  Well, maybe he had, and you didn't know.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  He's a primary school teacher. We had the one camper van that I was helping him watch. It was the family car and camper van that I was helping him watch.

• 3:14Speaker 05

  Oh, two cars.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  No, we had the one car.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Oh, two double-use car, though.

• 3:20Speaker 05

  It was the same. He was a camper van and your...

• 3:22Speaker 02

  It was the family car. The camper van was the family car.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  That's pretty common, man.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  That is pretty common. It's tough to dissect that one.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  There was a point where we all went to the same school. Mum and dad both taught at the school. We all went to that school. And there was a point...

• 3:34Speaker 03

  And did you live in the camper van at the school? Or did you go to some other house?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  No, we had a house.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Lovely places to sleep. Must be very nice. Do we sleep at school? Do we sleep at home? We're spoilt with choice. Too many beds.

• 3:48Speaker 05

  Pass the chamois, daddy.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Why don't we just roll all our chamois and sleep on a big mattress of chamois?

• 3:54Speaker 02

  There was Red Nose Day back in the day. There was a day where I can remember all five of us with a red nose on heading into school, and I'm like, can't believe we didn't get bullied more.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  As a family.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. Can have, well, I mean, fond memories, but um, yeah, good, good. It just goes to show, you just can't, you know, you can't slip anything past the listeners. They will catch you, they'll catch any indiscretion. I mean, that, like I'd say, your upbringing was pretty common man, but if there's one area I'm happy for you to lose touch, it's for your upcoming wedding. It'll be later this year and we, the more outrageous the idea is, the better. That's certainly been the policy that we've been running on the show. Jack and I have had limited success getting our ideas into your wedding.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Can I say, even though Beck now knows it was a joke,

• 4:46Speaker 02

  the lingering feeling of me having bad ideas remains.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Also, you're trying to pitch real ideas now, but you're tarnished by your reputation.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  I'm gone. Like even, yeah, so just be careful with you, with games, everybody, because I think Beck subconsciously now thinks that every idea I have is terrible.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Give us an example of a real one you tried to pitch that's like elegant.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Um, I wanted surprise, surprise speech. So at the wedding.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  This sounds like a two pointer.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  And I would be riding with the game.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  It's boring. It's always the same people speaking. I reckon there should be like.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  I think like a spotlight, like a spotlight goes round.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  It's bad enough where people go to the speech and they're prepared. You do not want it landing on number 72 at the wedding and them standing up going, here I go, I'm just gonna wing it.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  A lot of my mates are very keen on the uh, wear approach with the number of what order of invite you thought you could be.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Anything that's more appropriate to any of his high school mates than the ranking.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  These are the guys, is it Hogs that every year on the golf trip grabs people, like gives them a fat pinch test and tells them how many kilograms?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, we have a weigh in, but it's not on scales. He just walks around with his hands like forceps.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  And just holds your blubber and goes, two there.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, just to give a snapshot, it's a very, it's a competitive group. It's a competitive group and they would love the brooches. Are we still a chance to do the brooches?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I broached it with Beck, but no.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  What about if, what about if it was a known thing? So you don't have to provide, you don't have to rank, but people come with what they think their number is.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Oh, optional. Okay.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  So you can make your own break and I will be doing this.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  I will be doing this.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  I've just decided I will absolutely be doing this. You can bring your own pin.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Yes. I can't stop you. I can't endorse it if Beck's listening, but I certainly can't stop you.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  I've never worn the Order of Australia pin. Cause you get one.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  I don't know if I just do that and a little number six.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. You can remember Australia. Can't remember that. What'd you do?

• 6:55Speaker 03

  What'd you do? It's many things, Jack. They just decide.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Oh, just entertainment in general.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  It was a, it was. They go, it's about time.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, they ran out of people to give it to. Yeah. Very weak field that year. Weakest field we've seen.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  And the wild card winner from this year is?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Who'd you win it with?

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, it's actually mostly.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  You ran away with a children's entertainer. Again, weak.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  You don't win it with people.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  It's probably not even called winning it, hey?

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. You don't win it. You go with a bunch of other people. The most of the people that are getting it are very deserved. They're like being in like, you know, the defence or they're like firefighters and local community. Local community heroes. They are the people that are on the list with you. And then they do throw in a few well-known people, I suppose.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  To help them get in magazines and stuff.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. It's a publicity stunt. Mate, I was very honoured to get it. It was actually the king's, the first chance he had. It was his first birthday, I think. His first.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Was he there?

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Time in office. He might've zoomed in at that government house. I don't, there's so many people there. I can't remember if he was there or not. But I was very flattered that it was his wish, his birthday wish. The very first time he got in as a king, his birthday wish was for me to be honoured with the lowest rank in the honouring system, the Order of Australia. Then it goes to the other medals that are much, much higher. But still a nice nod to the king. And should I ever be in the position where I'm handing out medals? I will firmly consider him to have one back.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  You medal my lapel and I'll medal yours.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  Good rule.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  We're on the wedding.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Andy's wedding.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Some positive movement, Ando. Now, I know, like, so many of the ideas got mixed, got cut out. I actually did have a, we had two emails from people that used T-shirt cannons at their wedding.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  And spoke positively about it.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Huge fanfare.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Someone, Beck and I were out and someone kind of said, you should use the T-shirt cannon to Beck. So you do have a bit of crowd support for that, which is nice.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  I think that could, that could still get across the line.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  The guy was in a Bing Tang T-shirt and tongs.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  That was, yeah. Possibly got the T-shirt, probably possibly got the T-shirt or the singlet from a cannon.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  So that might have been a freshly cannon singlet.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Taking his advice with a grain of salt compared to, say, a lead stylist or something.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  What a shame that she's in the Shammy, Shamwa camp. And those of us that believe in Shammy's and are getting judged for our Bing Tang singlets that we enjoy wearing.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  A comfortable, soft singlet.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  This comes in from Duncan, Ando. He listened with great interest to our, our desire to keep the idea of Hogg's chipping a custom-made golf ball-shaped container with the two wedding rings inside it, chipping it to Cam, your best man, with you and me as backup catchers.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  In the pilot ceremony where you need to produce the rings as a, as a respectful and exciting nod to.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  One of my other loves.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  To golf, which has been a great part of your life. And we think this can be done in a very elegant and dignified way.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Yes. Sorry, it's a work on not laughing when you say that.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  I just realised I'm making the face, like, practising the face, I'll do it the other.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  As we assume the slip's catching position and Hogg's now, because in my head I'm hearing it commentated like the royal, like the crowning of King's Charles.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Yes. And I like to think, I'm hoping, it's, you know how people have things they pass down to their children? Like that in the Lee house, oh, they always chip a ball. Like, I think that we get enough.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  That would be a great tradition to pass on. Yeah. But I just like, you know, you can imagine the commentators, and now we see Michael Horgan taking his 56 degree wedge.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  And Camley is the primary target, but of course groom's been Blake and the groom will be back up. There's a hush now in the church. Lovely soft hands. Beautiful. Rock the shoulders, beautiful.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Beautiful chip and Cam takes it with no problems at all. There's a small round of applause from the congregation. We can't be so dignified. No one pretends that wasn't a great chip and catch. And then you're straight back into the ceremony. Art of elation from Beck. Beck sheds a tear of what you can only imagine is pure joy.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Now, not watching the one day she dreamed about her whole life turn into a sports skills festival.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  And now it's time for surprise, surprise speeches.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  And now surprise, surprise celebrant. We will now pick a random congregation member to marry Andy to surprise, surprise bride. He's going to marry someone else. This is a lot of fun. You don't see this at every wedding. So Duncan and his dad, they run a prototyping business. They can make all sorts of things out of all sorts of materials. Great. Put his hand up because we said we wanted to rehearse this. Yes. He's put his hand up to go, I'll do it. Let's, we'll make the golf ball container. Great. He's going to get it made. Reach out to him. He's pumped. I can get wheels in motion. I think I could get it. Do you reckon he could get it done in two weeks' time? Oh, great. So we can do the rehearsal in two weeks' time. Well, I spoke to Hogs. Actually, Mac, can we get Hogs up? I spoke to Hogs at the pub. I just want to actually ask Hogs as well.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  If there's anything he can think of that he wouldn't, he's the one chipping it. So I want him to, I want him to kind of have a design saying this. Oh, as in the design of the container? Maybe there's something I'm missing. Maybe, you know, just like the weight of the ball and, you know, he wants, I just want to make sure we're getting what he wants. Yep. Okay. Well, I did bring it up with him at the pub. He joins us now. Uh, Hogs, you there?

• 12:56Speaker 06

  Hello, boys.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Ahoy to you.

• 12:58Speaker 06

  Can I just say first up, this would be so exciting for me.

• 13:05Speaker 06

  I've been a best man twice and on both occasions.

• 13:10Speaker 06

  There was no trust in me holding the rings. So I've never been able to do anything to do with the rings in a wedding, which is just outrageous to start off with.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  Twice, twice. That's kind of the main role of the best man.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Knowing your history, Hogs. I mean, when we were nineteen, you got out of the cab. We got to the pub and we went, oh no. And I went, what? You had, I've forgotten shoes. And you had socks on.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Do you remember that at the armada?

• 13:40Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 13:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, moved on from there.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  We learned.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  You say that, but you did arrive and we've talked to this on the pod at, at the airport with your golf clubs in a box, which you didn't have a bag, remember?

• 13:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't remember that.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  And then one other time, you rang your wife and said, Dal, I'm on my way to the airport. You're gonna have to follow it. This is the directions I went. Cause I left the boot open and clubs were falling in the back of the car. And she was asked to follow you and collect it like some kind of scavenger hunt.

• 14:16Speaker 06

  No, it was my golf shoes that fell out.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Oh, it was the shoes. Okay.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Shoes have been a problem. I might actually bring you a spare pair of shoes for you, Hogs. But because you'll have so much brain power on the rings, I'll be like, I better bring Hogs it size thirteen.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  So when I said to Hogs, this is the idea we had. Hogs, can you remember what you said? You, you took a, you actually stopped your pause. You took a large gulp of the pint of beer that you were having. Can you remember what you said?

• 14:39Speaker 06

  I can do this. Is that what I said?

• 14:43Speaker 02

  You said, I can do this.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  I fully believe in you, Hogs, too, because you are a pressure player. And so here's what I want to know from you. I'll be asking these guys to manufacture, Duncan, his dad, to manufacture the ball to be the exact weight and feel as close as possible of a real golf ball. But it, you know, has to latch firmly, I suppose, because, you know, you could be hitting it with quite a lot of spin or whatever.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  It could be a screw.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Flying open. Could be a screw top.

• 15:13Speaker 06

  That's good. I think the easiest, the easiest would be, the easiest ball to hit is like, you know, one of those, uh, practice balls with holes in them.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Like a wiffle ball.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Ones, the light ones.

• 15:25Speaker 06

  Yeah. And then even, even larger ones.

• 15:29Speaker 06

  You know, so if there was a large one than that.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 15:32Speaker 06

  Oh, I'd get it a hundred percent of the time.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  So a slightly bigger, wouldn't look as golfy, it could look a little bit.

• 15:39Speaker 06

  No, what if you had holes in it?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, but then you need to have the rings inside it as well. You can't. They'll be rattling around.

• 15:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I think you can still have a ball inside the ball.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 15:50Speaker 06

  You know, so it's a, it's a solid ball inside the ball, which is quite small, a twenty cent coin. Then it's slightly larger, so I'm just gonna look a little bit larger than a golf ball, but I think it'll work.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:03Speaker 06

  We need the.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Can't we just have one ball?

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, we don't want to make it heavy. We don't want to make it heavy. I would, what if, so what if I can get it same dimensions as a golf ball, but lighter than a golf ball?

• 16:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, because that means I can hit it further. So I can actually, people can see my, my swing, you know?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, right. That's true. What would your preferred distance be?

• 16:26Speaker 06

  Um, oh, I think twenty meters would be, would be nice.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Twenty meters? Yeah, right. That's a pitch. Do you need a glove, Hogs?

• 16:33Speaker 06

  Um, no, no, I'm, I'm off the gloves. But twenty meters, I think that's like a cricket pitch, which would be similar to a, a wedding pitch.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Isle, aisle.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  You do, you do often see the priest step out, the correct length of the pitch before a wedding.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  And here comes Beck now, off a very long runner. Oh, she's gonna want to have to pick things up. She's, she's going too slow. Okay, great. Okay, so do you think anyone, so Hogs, will anyone in the congregation require helmets?

• 17:12Speaker 06

  No, especially if you lighten it up a bit.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Hmm. Are you envisaging, I always thought of this as you coming from the side of the altar, chipping on, but you're thinking maybe you're going down the aisle.

• 17:25Speaker 06

  Down the line, yeah. That's what I was imagining. Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Hmm. But right, you know, because on a traditional wedding, I don't know if this is what you're doing around, like, I don't even know if it's in the church or not, but it's like, you know, you've got two rows of pews or two rows of seats there. There is that, yeah. Bride's side, groom's side, Hogs right in the middle. Yep.

• 17:43Speaker 06

  So would this be?

• 17:43Speaker 03

  It's exciting, it's so.

• 17:44Speaker 06

  Would, would this be before Beck goes down or after?

• 17:48Speaker 03

  After. That's after. She's had her moment.

• 17:50Speaker 06

  Because I was more thinking before, I, because then we obviously would hate to hit Beck. And before, it's just a bit of entertainment before the, you know.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Too many people have felt like they needed to jazz up the pregame.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  And then maybe at halftime, we get a few dirt bike jobs.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  Well, Hogs, we're gonna set it up so we can show Bec. Then we'll show her the video to give her one last chance to veto this because we feel like we're having.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  So dignified in this. Okay. So you're in 20 metres and, and, and just off like a normal kind of golf range mat? Or do you want to bring your own?

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Or do you want us to go off the ground?

• 18:29Speaker 06

  Oh, just the ground, the carpet there, the carpet there is fine. But if we tell Beck it's beforehand, I think that might get us over the line.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  She'll probably say, do whatever you want before I arrive, but I think that does change the stakes. I think.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  I don't think so. I think, I think beforehand, the anticipation is, that's, that's the build up for her moment, you know, her.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  Actually, that's right. Suddenly you're stealing from.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  Now, the, the whole point of the beforehand, that 20 minutes before she gets there is everyone just nervously like pumped to, you know, turn around and see the bride.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, we can't feel that moment. And the rings, the rings have, it's got a traditional spot where the rings come out. Yeah. And that's when the bride is already at the.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  And I think you, you have the celebrant just go, and now Michael Horgan, childhood friend, Michael Horgan will deliver the rings to.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Why didn't you want to say Jim?

• 19:18Speaker 03

  To Cameron Lee, the best man in the medium Andy has requested.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's nice. What, what club do you need, Hogs? What are you going to, what are you going to take over?

• 19:28Speaker 06

  Off the top, maybe just a pitching wedge maybe for that, that distance.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Really?

• 19:34Speaker 03

  You're not a 60 or a 56. I mean, you want, don't we want a nice laugh on it? So everyone can see it.

• 19:39Speaker 06

  It depends how high the roof is, I go, I guess, because you know, you're hitting 20 metres.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, there's food for thought. We'll, we'll try, we will try and get the.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  And you don't take a driver because me and Andy and Cameron are trying to catch it. But yeah, you want something that has a nice loop to it.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Yes. So we'll, we'll organise this for what? A few weeks' time?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, two weeks' time. You good for rehearsal in two weeks' time?

• 20:02Speaker 06

  Oh, phrase, phrase bird.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. Thanks, mate. Good, good to chat.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  All right, boys. She's coming together. Coming together. Now we just need what? Just sort of a dress and for Beck's end, we're good. Got the whole wedding.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Guys, as you both know, Darcy here, who cuts the podcast for us, the Darcy snip, sometimes takes out content that's about him because he's the last layer of defence.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  He's brought this on himself.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  He's heard this already, he's coming in, he knows what's going on.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  He's charging in, charging in to jump on the mics. Well, he bought this segment, I assume we're going to do another Darcy under the microscope here because Darcy's wife Jane works with you and TV production and that gives you exclusive access.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  Unvetted access.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  The Darcy's wife. And Darcy.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Usually I have some indication that these are like, I can sort of feel that they're coming, this one has taken me completely by surprise.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, like if Jane comes home and she's like, oh, sorry, but at lunch today I did mention that you sleep in Lightning McQueen pyjamas or something.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  And could be coming down the pipe.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  I think this isn't necessarily something that's happened in the last few weeks, but I just learnt of the story. So that's the other thing, you should be on your toes. I get historical Darcy incidents that also come up.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  A lifetime of transgressions.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Let's jump into it.

• 21:29Speaker 07

  You're the microscope right now.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  A powerful microscope. We're all going to be under a microscope.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  You know what, I think, I think maybe it's time you put

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Darcy.

• 21:37Speaker 00

  Under the microscope.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  Yes. Welcome, Darcy.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Help producer to set the tea to get closer to the microphone, which was weird because you do work in audio. He can, he can edit the audio, he just doesn't know how to produce it properly from his mouth. No, Darcy, this all came about because there was a heated, I mean, you've, this segment really is a retaliatory strike because there was a heated argument about a, whether the, the front of a rowboat, she's the fore or the aft or the coxswain sits in the front or the back in school rowing. You really dug in.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  You were wrong.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Some pretty straightforward arguments, you had regretted being wrong, you edited it out of the podcast.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  We found out about this and it is since then, this is about the sixth or seventh Darcy under the microscope that is in.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  You kind of did bring it on yourself, but it is, has been a fun world of fun mining, vein to mine.

• 22:40Speaker 07

  Jeff, the robot vacuum cleaner has featured quite heavily on this.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Not featuring today though.

• 22:45Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  You guys went without hot water for a period.

• 22:48Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. How long was the period?

• 22:52Speaker 07

  Like two weeks.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  Can I just say, sorry, before we get into it, because I don't know what's gonna come under the microscope. This is also a very fun game for Jack and I.

• 23:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  This is like watching a true crime drama where Andy's.

• 23:04Speaker 07

  You trust the detective, no?

• 23:06Speaker 03

  He's just got the suspect in, oh mate, just a couple of very routine questions, I'm sure it'll all be fine.

• 23:12Speaker 07

  But you've seen the episodes before, you know, he knows.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  No, you know, he's sitting on a big thing, but I just love the, I love the jovial way with which Andy starts just establishing the facts.

• 23:22Speaker 07

  And Jane will have no idea what this one is, so I'm nervous.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Jane thought you should get in Gary the gas guru?

• 23:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 07

  Oh, now I know where this is.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  You thought you should use chat G P T to fix it.

• 23:37Speaker 07

  Yeah. Which she was saying, she was saying, please don't, please don't do that. But he was saying one thing. And I was like, in the background, entering it into chat G P T.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  So Gary, the gas guru comes around, just because you tried to jump to the end of these stories. He comes around and Gary, the gas guru.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  He's a guru and I assume he's like, not just a licensed gas technician. He's, as Andy said, he's attained the rank of guru. Other gas technicians look to him for guidance.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  He turns to you and says, it's an undersized gas line.

• 24:13Speaker 07

  Yep, correct.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  You turn back to him and says, chat G P T thinks it's the mixer.

• 24:18Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  He says, well, I think it might be the gas line, undersized. And you go, no, I definitely think it's the mixer, because I've been looking at this for the last kind of week and a bit.

• 24:29Speaker 07

  Yeah. And he said, replacing the mix is a pretty big job.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  And you said, do it.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  So this is such a fascinating, isn't this, this is, I mean, this is robots versus humans, where this is the front line. I thought trades were meant to be, I'm trying to encourage all my kids to get into trades, like building electric appliances. I'm like, I thought they were meant to be safe from AI, but not when the customer trusts AI.

• 24:57Speaker 07

  Well, yeah, just like all their clients, clients are staying away from ChatGPT.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  So then, to my understanding, that he then replaced the mixer?

• 25:05Speaker 07

  Correct.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  Yep, on orders of, from a robot through a client.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  Through a client. It took an extra week?

• 25:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  So you know, no hot water, no gas for another week?

• 25:15Speaker 07

  Yeah, we had to shower at work downstairs.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  Yep. And then it turns out?

• 25:20Speaker 03

  What was it, Dars?

• 25:21Speaker 02

  It was an undersized line.

• 25:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 07

  Yeah. I, I don't really have too much to, yeah, that is exactly, that is exactly what Jane was.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Did you go back, did you go back and tell chat? Did you go, hey, chat, guess what?

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:38Speaker 07

  You're to be made. Well, you know what it would say? It would say, oh, yeah, of course.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  You're absolutely right. That does sound like an undersized gas line.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Did you, what I, what I'm interested in now is, cause Jane was not happy.

• 25:51Speaker 07

  No, she was, beforehand, she was pleading with me, please don't say ChatGPT, like that you looked up to ChatGPT and say that to Gary, the gas guru.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:00Speaker 07

  And I did, and she was just in the other room with her head in her hands.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Yep. So when the guru comes back and it proved that he was right?

• 26:08Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  What level, did he give you any smugness or is he professional?

• 26:11Speaker 07

  No, no, he's such a professional. And to his credit now, he's won us as clients for life because I trust him completely.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Whatever the markup on a mixer is, he's also pocketed that.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  He didn't need a new gas mixer and he was able to sell you one.

• 26:28Speaker 07

  Well done, Dars.

• 26:28Speaker 07

  So he wins, I win, we all win.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  How did you win?

• 26:43Speaker 03

  I don't know about you guys, but I have, I obviously get to communicate with my wife one-on-one, face-to-face, sometimes, and that's, that's fun. And I cherish those times. And not to say that our wives aren't busy, but yeah, you're less busy. Yeah, and I cherish those times, absolutely cherish the one-on-ones, face-to-face, special time for me, special time. More, sometimes we must communicate via text message and email. That suits her workflow a bit better, that's okay. Sometimes in the same house, if she's in the office, the office, her office. I mean, I'm allowed to go in there if she's not using it.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  But by a point, but only if she is. If, if anyone, if you walk into our home office and you went, who do you think spends more time in here? Yes. A woman that is the founder of a skincare brand or a man that podcasts. You would see the desk and go. Once a week. I think it might be the, I think it might be the skincare person. So she's in there and she's writing books as well. She's got a new book coming out later this year. So she's busy, busy, busy. And when you don't disturb Mum and Flo is a, is a, that's a mantra we all know about. Right. So a fair bit of digital communication happens. And then another, the other way that we stay in touch

• 28:05Speaker 03

  from the same house. Yeah, yeah. Is we have a rigorous back and forth of, of DMs. On Instagram, so I'm sending each other things, you see this, you see this, like, you know. On Instagram? Yep. So it's a fun way for Zo to be like, hey, you know, there's, there's like quite a flow. She'd be my, you know, she'd be 98% of my DMs would be going to Zo. Cause you're just flicking stuff back and forth. And they're usually, they get at least a little bit of a response. Like a little bit of like, ah, yeah, that was funny. Oh yeah. I've seen that, you know, that, that woman that does the Claire Danes impression, she's hilarious. Yeah. Great, great, great. But there's one category of thing that I've been sending to Zo over the last month.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  That has got crickets, both in real life and in online life. Right. Which is, I don't know if these pop up in your algorithm, but they're all these kind of like, they're meant to look like science. I guess they are pretending to be science accounts or whatever. Quite often, the graphic is like the human brain, like a scan of the human brain, like a futuristic scan, the human brain and an area like lighting up in the brain or something. And it's like, research shows that squeezing your partner's buttocks for two minutes a day lowers cortisol and ellevates.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Yes, Beck sent me one of these.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Oh, that's lucky for you that your wife's sending them to you.

• 29:25Speaker 02

  Cool. I don't really, I mean, I don't really do the scrolling thing. So I don't, but Beck sent me one the other day. She goes, do you see what I'm saying? I said, no. Went into my DMs and it said, science has proven that men who buy their partners designer handbags are less likely to go poor.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  She's got her version of the algorithm.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  I said, it seems cheaper just to go and buy the pills.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Yes, she's, she's got, she's got, okay, that's the other side of the algorithm. On this side, on the, on the guy's side, in the male female relationship, you've got a lot of, um, science has shown that, you know, having sex five times a week will, um,

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Make you more productive.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Cure a heart disease.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  But they, and they give a kind of a faux, and it looks sciencey. And a lot of people just get science from like TikTok and Instagram now. So,

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  That's, I've sent eight of these, I counted this morning, and not a single response has come back. And then I saw one today and I was like, I won't send this.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  But I wonder who amongst us would be brave enough to send this. So it comes from the same, um, comes from the same, the same kind of world.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  This is like, you know, as you can see here, it's like the human brain. And then like, there's a little graphic of like,

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Okay, so it's not even a video. It's just a still with the,

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Still, yeah, it's often a still with like the quote from it. You go, research, research has shown. And you realize now that they're probably just made by a bot farm.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  It's like, what will get this sent to a partner the most? This one hasn't had as many, you know, you can see the stats, like how many people have sent this on. This one hasn't had as many send ons because I think no one's,

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Keep it or delete it. I'm a bit nervous about this.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  I was like, who's who amongst us? If the community that I assume there's a lot of people like me out there and Beck who are sending their partners hints on, um, just fun, interesting science facts on, on via DMs. This one is, research shows repeatedly complaining physically rewires your brain to prioritize stress negativity and raise cortisol.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  Oh gosh, yeah. You're not sending that.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Not sending that.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  This looks like the ones that I normally send on, but I'm not going to go, hey, did you see that?

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Cool thing I sent about complaining.

• 31:50Speaker 05

  I guess you could argue that like, I'm putting my hand up and saying, I, I should do less complaining.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  What do you think? I was thinking this applied to me. Yeah. The one, the only one I saw, and I did see one in real life the other day and I walked into the room and I showed it. I was like, should I, do you want me to send this to you? And it was like, an eight minute make out session with your partner lowers, you know, like does something good for you and whatever, like if you want. And so it's like eight minutes. You might not get eight minutes from now to the rest of our relationship. Like you're not getting it, you're not getting it once. I'll tell you that.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Hey, Jack came to me and not, not a saying in confidence. And now I'm sharing it. Jack came to me with an issue.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  You could also do that in future if you want.

• 32:45Speaker 05

  With a. Oh, I just came to you because you're unbiased.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 32:48Speaker 05

  In this scenario.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Um, and he asked my advice and I said, look, I think I don't like triangular conversations where, you know, whispers behind Haines back. I feel like we should always get in a room and nut it out. Now it's to do with the drum kit, the electronic drum kit that of course you lent Jack.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  He then on lent it to a listener.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  I rented it to Jack.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  So Lent is close, but I said a dollar a week and I'll waive, I think I waived the first year, but it's been five years.

• 33:19Speaker 05

  Yes. Did we get confirmation if that was true?

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Uh, well, I think that's between you two.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  He's not your lawyer. He's not your lawyer, Jacko. Already.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  He's impartial. He's impartial. I feel this has strongly been colluding before this conversation, but anyway, go ahead.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  There's no colluding because Jacko just asked me a question and I said, I don't know, mate. Like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't, I'm not in your camp, I'm not in Hamish camp.

• 33:45Speaker 05

  I feel like on the phone you were more like, yeah, great. That's. That is an example of someone.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Would you like to change lawyers mid-case, Jack?

• 33:54Speaker 02

  It's an example of someone hearing what they hope would be an outcome.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  You don't see this in court with the lawyer going, but when we went out the back and spoke in your chambers, you were saying I was, I was looking good. You said it was looking good for me and now you're pretending that.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  So the drums are back in Jack's possession.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  Great. So you went and picked them up, Jacko?

• 34:15Speaker 05

  No, Mitch dropped them off. Lovely guy. Great to see him again after five years.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  So far you've done nothing.

• 34:20Speaker 05

  Hmm. Yeah. I just feel like there's a little bit of grey area with how they get back to you now that you live in Sydney. Because when I hired the drums from you, you lived in Melbourne.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Didn't you say though, but you didn't put any caveats in, you just said whenever you want them back. You actually said at the time, I'll bring them back once a month if you want to visit.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  That's what I have tracked down.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  He said something like that.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  I've tracked down that audio from a long time ago. I think it's 2017. Could it have been? Is that crazy?

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it's not crazy.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Um, and, uh, and so you guys can both hear now for the first time.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  The deal, the rental deal.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  As I said, I'm a mediator. I'm not taking any side.

• 34:57Speaker 05

  Okay. I'll pick it up and drop it off when you need it.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  At my discretion.

• 35:02Speaker 05

  Um, four times a year, max.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  Deal.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Deal. Yeah, it's a good deal, good deal.

• 35:10Speaker 05

  Man, I'm bad at negotiating.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  So that was what was said. Now, I suppose what Jack is trying to argue, Ham, and put forth is, he said that thinking that you would be in Melbourne, and now that that's changed, he's asking whether that changes the deal.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Sure, Jack, I completely understand that. And thank you for coming to me with this, and I'm sure we can figure this out in a fair and equitable way. As we all heard there, I said at my discretion, and you offered Jack four times a year. That was an amount that you thought was appropriate, offered by you, accepted by me.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  To a man who'd lived only three suburbs away when I said it.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  By my calculations, when I was in Richmond and you were in the very far north.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  I was in Coburg.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Melbourne, outskirts of Coburg. That's approximately a 20 kilometer differential, according to my calculations here. So that was nine years ago, nine times four, 36. So 36 times we'd agreed that Jack would drive 20 kilometres to do that. And then obviously 20 kilometres back. 20 kilometres times 36, 720 kilometres was the agreed upon distance that he would travel.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  We're still not getting all the way to Sydney with.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  And then back, I would say, puts us close to 1500 kilometres.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  So then, so Jack.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  1500 kilometres owed of transporting the drums.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  And that includes the back though, doesn't it? So does that include Jack having to get?

• 36:43Speaker 03

  Because how would I get back?

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  I think I can. I will knock it back down to 750. So I'd like you to get them

• 36:51Speaker 02

  Just past camera.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  750 kilometres towards my house.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  So you get him to Goulburn or something?

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Why can't I just, what I was gonna do is why?

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Why can't you just keep going? I don't know.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Why can't we just ask somebody who's going to Sydney in the next week if they can transport him for us? What are you gonna offer that person?

• 37:10Speaker 03

  We, we, us.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  They're already going.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  You know what? I've been tricked, hey?

• 37:15Speaker 05

  No, I've been tricked. I've been double tricked because...

• 37:18Speaker 02

  I've been tricked because Jack now is using this, bringing up this segment as a mouthpiece to ask the listeners to actually transport the...

• 37:26Speaker 03

  You ask Mitch to bring him to your house. You're asking the listeners to transport him. You're weaseling out of everything again and again.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  What will you give that listener?

• 37:33Speaker 05

  They're going anyway.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, but this is someone, don't, don't, I'm okay. This is a call out to someone who...

• 37:38Speaker 03

  If I'm driving to the shops...

• 37:40Speaker 05

  Don't just drive to Sydney tomorrow.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  If I'm driving to the shops and Coles wants, also has a friend that borrowed Coles's electronic drum kit, I'm not just gonna chuck the electronic drums in my car because I'm going anyway. There is a hassle involved to taking drums in the car.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you get a story out of it. Like, oh, what are the drums in the back for? Oh, yeah, gotta pick it up from my favourite podcast, drop them off.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  You want that story?

• 38:01Speaker 02

  It's not a great story.

• 38:02Speaker 05

  No, it's not a great story for me because I work on the podcast every week. So it's not exciting for me.

• 38:08Speaker 05

  This is, Andy actually has misrepresented the phone call somewhere.

• 38:15Speaker 05

  This, my memory of it was, I'm not gonna drive these to Sydney, right? He's like, yeah, good point, good point.

• 38:22Speaker 05

  And then it makes it sound like, oh, Jack's come with the question. I actually didn't even come with a question. I pretty much said, I'm not driving. So can I ask someone to pay the drum?

• 38:30Speaker 02

  The other thing that happened is we're finishing up the show today and he goes, we're gonna do the segment. I was like, oh, let's just, let's do it next week. And he goes, I'd rather lock them out of my house. He pressured me.

• 38:43Speaker 03

  That's why you needed to do it quickly.

• 38:45Speaker 05

  I just don't want them hanging around. And then next week it's like, oh, the show ran a bit long again. Let's not do the drum thing. Just get them, get them back. You want them, don't you? Don't you want them?

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I'd love you to get them to me.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  What can we off, what can you offer the listener that's gonna drive them? Not more than a story.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  I think, I think you could pay for the first 750Ks of petrol, Jack.

• 39:04Speaker 05

  Not in this climate.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Well, how are you gonna get them 750Ks?

• 39:10Speaker 05

  He's got an electric, he's gonna be...

• 39:11Speaker 02

  No, like, what I, what I wanna do is just go drop them to your old house in Richmond and too bad, so sad that you don't live there anymore.

• 39:21Speaker 05

  I'm trying to find a compromise.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, you didn't say, I'll drop him back to your house. If you'd said your house, there would have been an argument. I'd say that was the house that you had.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  That's true. I didn't say this address. I just said, get him back to me.

• 39:33Speaker 05

  Yeah. So, well, when you're, you visit all the time. I'll give them to you when you're in Melbourne.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Try and catch me, mate, because I'm not going to tell you when I'm coming.

• 39:43Speaker 05

  I'll serve it to you like a summons. You'll get them.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  I'm going to cover myself in olive oil. Nothing will stick.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  I think, I think, Jack, you have to think about what you can offer said listener as a.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  I think you should pay for half their fuel to Sydney for sure.

• 40:02Speaker 05

  If you're driving to Sydney this week and you also want something in your life, ask me for it and I'll see if I can do it.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. That's no promises made whatsoever. You want something in your life.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Ask me and I'll see if I can do it. Sorry, can't do it.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  What about at least one tank of petrol?

• 40:23Speaker 05

  But, but they're going anyway. They're going.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  Now, they have now, because they've got extra load and wear and tear on the car, they've been compensated for doing you a favor.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  Half a tank?

• 40:34Speaker 05

  You don't, do you even want them? Because they're not brand new and you love new stuff.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  No, this is the drums. I ran them past Sunny's drum teacher. He was like, these would be great to get. So, yeah, it's for my son, mate.

• 40:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  And what, what about this rental? Eight years of rental?

• 40:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, a dollar a year.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  A week?

• 40:52Speaker 05

  I don't think we have evidence of that. This has gone too long and I'm trying to help you.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  So, so far I've got.

• 41:00Speaker 05

  All right. If you want to find that, you got to find the audio yourself. You can't use anybody who works on the show. Got to dig back through the archives yourself.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  Did you, have you used anyone that works on the show to find stuff? Namely, Andy?

• 41:13Speaker 02

  No. I will.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Andy, did Jack get you to find audio?

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Can you hold off another week, Jack? It's up to you. Half a tank now, half a tank of petrol now, or have him in your house another week. I will go back, listen to the break and present my findings on exactly what was said and the whole deal.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  A tank seems fair. What do you mean no? He gave you an option of A and B. You can just say no.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  Which one would you like?

• 41:42Speaker 05

  Either.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  What's your dream scenario? Someone just completely comes over.

• 41:47Speaker 05

  Someone comes, someone's excited to do it. Like, oh, man, I love driving anyway. I'll come and

• 41:54Speaker 05

  I'll come to your house, pick him up. I'll pick him up and drop him off to home. Maybe I'll get to meet him, get a bow. That's a, that's a win-win for me.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, I would love to meet the person that's kind enough to do this, but this payment, it feels like you've got Mitch to do it. And now the payment you're offering is Hamish. Hamish give you a good day when you get to Sydney.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  You don't have to give him a whole, you don't have to give him a whole performance.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Pretty, pretty, pretty happy, pretty happy. Farming out promises of boughs and get to meet him and take you around his house.

• 42:26Speaker 05

  Give him a thumbs up from the window. You don't even have to come outside.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Well, I will come outside because I appreciate it.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, how's he gonna get them? What is the other guy putting them on the, on the, on the nature strip and then just waving to him as he gives him the thumbs up with a shoe off before I come out and collect.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  What if they turn up to my house and they have the receipt for the petrol? And then I give it to you, Jack, for a receipt for one tank. And then you'll have to process that claim.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  What about this? They have the receipt for the petrol, but they write in alongside what percent of they want that paid versus how fun the story was for them for the drive.

• 43:04Speaker 05

  No, that's a blank cheque. That's worse than agreeing.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, it's up to one tank of petrol. Does incentivize me though, when they get there to just be an arseholes.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  That might be a better story.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. Just be like, yeah, just chuck him there.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  I'd be more likely to go to the pub and go, you know what? That Hamish bloke.

• 43:21Speaker 05

  Yeah. Topped his drums off.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. Didn't even care. Had to, had to charge Jack a full whack for petrol. Meanwhile, I'm inside spying on the security cameras going, yes, they look angry. I think, I think they're gonna write down a hundred percent.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  How about that?

• 43:37Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:38Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  Oh, happy you went to Andy now?

• 43:44Speaker 05

  No, I just wanted the show to finish.