356 - Surprise Surprise Wedding Speech

Another game show logistics meeting is on the cards, with Jack’s role, stunt doubles and the fate of any unclaimed prizes up for discussion. Ear wax in AirPods prompts Hamish to pose a stomach-churning question to the boys, before revealing more details about the upcoming Hame’s Hives website launch. Plus, the final round of Chit Chat Champion for the year, and Andy revisits the nerve-racking moment at his and Bec’s wedding when some unsuspecting guests were tasked with delivering a “Surprise Surprise Speech”. 1. Game show logistics and Jack’s Man O Man research 2. Chit Chat Champions 3. Worst bodily fluids 4. Hame’s Hives website launch 5. Surprise surprise speeches

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me, triangle, Hamish.

• 0:26Speaker 03

  Okay, we're popular love shapes.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Love shapes?

• 0:33Speaker 03

  Love triangle is a classic one, love pentagram gets harder, love rhombus. Some sides are slantier than others, some have cute angles between the lovers, some have chiseled angles.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Not that.

• 0:46Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me, pocket, Jack.

• 0:48Speaker 04

  Ahoy. Oh, something to do with pool or billions.

• 0:51Speaker 03

  Gotta be pool, doesn't it? Billions and pool, cute.

• 0:53Speaker 04

  Gosh, no, that it's nice here.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Because you've got the triangle that loads the balls.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Then you've got the pockets of your goal.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  No, it's not that.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  Talking about small ball billions here, obviously.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  I am the fan.

• 1:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're fans at some high level billions contest. I think we're gonna overrule and say it is billions.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  This is a decision you have to make if you're putting on a formal event for the table. It's a decision, it's a table settings decision.

• 1:28Speaker 03

  Is it a senate? Oh, is it a napkin, napkin arrangement?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  You've got it. It's the three most common serviette folds. Triangle, pocket and fan fold.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  I didn't want to find out until I went to my serviette wrapped for the year, just to see what my most popular serviette folds were. You've gone early.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Ahoy also to Sarah. You went to hamishnady.com to let us know what she's been up to.

• 1:54Speaker 05

  Ahoy there, big boys and the little boy. I've just been helping my son with his maths homework. He's in year four. And today, the question was as follows. For Andy Lee's wedding recently, his wife to be Rebecca Harding was 40 minutes late. What fraction of one hour is 40 minutes?

• 2:15Speaker 03

  Too much.

• 2:15Speaker 05

  So just wondering.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  The majority.

• 2:19Speaker 05

  Andy, how much Mr. Colagrossi is paying you to write his maths questions? Gusto to you, boys. Catch up.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Gusto to you.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  It is always a, this has happened to us in our career from time to time. And obviously there are certain things that happen where you're like, oh, you know, you feel like you've made it.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  For whatever reason, like you get invited to something or, you know, win an award or whatever. But for me, it's still appearing in a textbook or a school quiz is to me the height of achievement. The height of celebrity. Never get sick of hearing it. Like, oh, you're in our marketing book. Thank you very much.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Forty minutes was a lot.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  Forty minutes was a lot.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  We'll talk a bit more about the wedding later on, but hey, in the meantime, we have to get into the Price is Correct, our game show.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  No offence to the wedding, but this is more important.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Well, I know. Now that the wedding's done, now that the wedding.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  I mean, they had a wedding planner for the, ultimately, Ando was, you know.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  I'm the wedding planner for the Price is Correct. I think there's so many things you guys never rock up to.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Jack, you and I are the bride and groom. We just go.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, actually, we'd like the pool to be bigger.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've changed our mind about that.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  We just get to say what we want, but Ando's got the worst job of all because he's the wedding planner. Andy's in charge of the budget. Usually the bride and groom say yes to something and then it comes back to bite them because it's like a $5,000 yes. But this, Andy's also running the purse strings on this.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  And what you realise is there's just so much that goes into making a TV show. This is like, this is literally press record, but Andy's coming back with like, oh, they're gonna send us like a mock-up of this angle and like, we gotta make space so the camera can move from left to right, blah, blah, blah.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  No, no offence, no offence to a medium that I do love working in and has been good to me and all of us over the years. But TV sucks, man. It's so hard.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  It's kind of boring to make it, to make it.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then thank God, there's so many smart people behind the scenes.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  It's just, my God, the days are long, Jack. When do we get to the scenes? There's gonna be so much.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but a couple of the people that'll work for us.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  I said, well, how do you want to be credited? And they said, no thanks, which means they do not want.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  We prefer not to be attached.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, we prefer not to be attached to this shambles of the show.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  They don't want this showing up on there, right? These are people, their livelihoods depend on making like top quality television.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  And we're gonna do the best we very much can.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  We're striving for it.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  We're striving for our greatest, but you know, this is for YouTube. We're in a, we are in a real TV studio. And I think we're making entertainment history by getting that pool back out.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  We are.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  I can understand that there'd be people looking for more longevity than this one-off game show.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Anyway, you always, you guys give me five minutes, or as long as this bed runs, to go through questions. So please, your attention, just to get, these guys want these answers. First of all.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  iPad down, phones on, phones face down.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  The first one comes down to yes, cost saving. There's been a fair bit of that discussion. We, I don't think we should bother paying for a voiceover person. Jack's there not doing much except for pushing people in a pool.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Yep, get him.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Could he double, Jack, are you comfortable to double as our voiceover person?

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Well, can my microphone be right next to the pool then? Because I don't want to lose the pushing the pool job because that was the most exciting thing about my role.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Jack, what did we just tell you about how it's gonna take so long? You'll have time to walk from a microphone to the pool. Stop acting like we have so much to do.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  How close would you like it?

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Well, when I think of The Price is Right and that guy who came up in the corner, he felt like he was in a different studio completely.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Short Cosgrove, well, he was just at the back.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  He reached out, by the way. Cosgrove reached out wanting the job, but I think he's.

• 6:00Speaker 04

  Was he charging, was he?

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, he would. I mean, maybe not, but I just, I just, I just think it's, we've got Jack there.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  I'm gonna streamline it a bit.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  So we'll make sure you're close enough to the pool. Well, I don't want to like, like go, like be walking through the backstage areas of a TV studio.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  Going to one studio, then run back to push somebody in.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  You're not in a different studio. Yeah, don't. He was in the same studio. I don't know where you got this idea from. He was on the back.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  It looked like he was in a different spot.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  It did look like he was in a different spot.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Think about like when you go to a gig at a pub or whatever and there's the tech desk. He was like up with those guys.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Great, great, great. Well, yeah. Well, we'll have you closer to the pool. That'll be the stipulation. Um, how'd you go with the research, by the way? Have you watched Man Oh Man and did you understand that the girls that used to walk along the guys to push them in because they weren't part of the show anymore, they were a bit flirty and cheeky with the way they pushed people in?

• 6:47Speaker 04

  Yes, they actually, so they push someone in to kick them out of the game. Or they give them a kiss on the cheek to keep them in for the next round.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Really? Right.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  I don't think we need the kiss.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  No, I won't do the kiss on the cheek.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Well, guys, we're not copying Man Oh Man. We just happen to have their pool. We're a completely different game. We're the tipping point.

• 7:03Speaker 04

  Yes, but what I do like about what, how they pushed in the contestants is they would leave it ambiguous for a little bit. So that, you know, they would do like, oh, I'm reaching in for a kiss. No, push.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  What will you do instead of reaching in for a kiss?

• 7:16Speaker 04

  Um, maybe go for like shake of the hand. Is that a good idea?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, fake shake of the hand. You've won.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  That's good. It could then turn into a push.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  Then could turn into a push.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  For fans of The Traitors, it'd be like when Claudia Winkleman walks around the table and everyone's got their eyes closed. She does a few extra laps. It's called padding. Well, I mean, it's called technically, if you meant to be said, called building suspense, but we all know it's like, that's easy minutes, easy screen minutes.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  But give me some time to build that suspense. I don't want to just go straight for a push.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  No, Jack, we don't, we want you to build the suspense. I mean, we've frigging dug up a 25-year-old pool.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Like we, let's use it. Let's milk it.

• 7:51Speaker 04

  It is, it was by far the best part of the whole show. The show, the show was actually very bad.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was mouse trap the board game. It's like the one bit where the mouse trap goes off. That's the game.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  Yes, that's right. I'm gonna keep moving. Um, it's, a lot of our games, when the person wins, they get a chance to play for Hamish's showcase of impulse purchases. They are a 50/50 game. I was, so if they lose, we're gonna be left with prizes. I think that's bad because we, I don't want to have to hang on to these storages being costing it.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  So when someone makes it, yeah, all the way through to actually be playing for the, for the prizes, they could fail.

• 8:27Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  I was thinking we have another person that can just be a lucky, a lucky lazy person that has done nothing, but.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Is that a home viewer?

• 8:37Speaker 04

  It could be a home viewer.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Just to give someone outside the studio the chance, you could just get the phone call to be like, guess what? You won the jet boat because someone stopped up stranger or dad.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  As long as Jack doesn't have to walk over and press the button because he's already got so much walking involved in his job. Have to do extra walking.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Why don't we have a mix? Why don't we have, pull out a chair of someone, so someone from the audience can be our lucky lazy person and just sit there. And, and we also have a home viewer. So anyone internationally, there was someone who asked to come in for Japan, but I was like, please, I'm not sure if we can have international contestants because if they win the car, it's gonna cost us a fortune to send it back to Japan.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  I mean, we already, yeah, it cost a fortune to get it from China. Had we known it was ultimately going to Japan, it would have been a lot quicker to send it to Japan.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Maybe one, one home viewer then, international home viewer. So we've got the risk.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  A lot of people are saying when they see, for instance, the mini Porsche online, everyone's like, oh, this is AI. You guys got scammed. We didn't. We have it.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  We have it.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  We have the car.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  It's at the warehouse, just to be very clear. And the video we put up is not, that's the video the guy's like, hey, this is your car. I'm sending it to you. And just to be clear, that car exists.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  And it's awesome. One quick question about that. If the lazy person and loses, do they have to go in the pool? Like, do we?

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Can I, can I just clarify? Because I'm confused. I'm maybe guessing that other people will be confused as well.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  You get four people up to play, uh, one type of game to see if they win their way through to the real game.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  That's the money guessing game.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  They get pushed into the pool.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Yes, that's the Price is Correct element, where everyone's trying to guess the amount, the correct amount.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  So that one person goes through who doesn't get pushed in the pool to play the actual game, and if they lose, somebody on a chair wins without doing anything.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Yes, okay, got it.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  And then, and should that person have to get in the pool? Or, or one of them have to get in the pool if they lose?

• 10:26Speaker 03

  No, because I think the moment will be the winner jumping up and down going, I've won, I've won.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I've won a ping pong robot. I don't think you need, I don't think we need to just have Jack pushing someone in the pool in the background.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Or do we? Out of spite? Or do we? Uh, yeah, it's a bad idea.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  I, I think the reason it's not quite clicking in my head is because most when people get pushed in the pool, they're at the tipping point, which is the edge of the pool. This person's on a chair, so in my head, I'm seeing Jack drag someone across the floor. While someone's jamming over there going, I've, I've won a frigging ping pong robot. Jack's got someone in an arm bar and is like pushing them into the pool.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  The person in the chair, they just celebrate, but the person who lost the game will still be by the side of the pool? Well, yeah. Or we walk them back to the side of the pool. I think we'll walk them back, frogmarch them back, get in. How about I push him in the pool and you, we decide whether to film it or not?

• 11:18Speaker 03

  True, true. I mean, I was the person who at the start thought everyone was going in the pool. So I do want maximum pool participants.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  I tell you what, the actual producers of this show is going to be so disappointed that that's all we've got to.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  What else did you have? Quickly, quickly.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Dude, do one more, do one more. We've got to abide, we've got stunt doubles. How many do we want? I thought just one regular sized male and one regular sized female that we could sub in for everyone, anyone. This is for, we have a few people that are pregnant that we don't want to push in a pool that have requested a stunt double. How about we just choose one stunt double? That's plenty.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. Get a, get a, get someone of a medium build that can kind of add padding if needed to look like another body shape.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Oh, I get you. I thought we would choose, like, I thought we were going to choose a pregnant player straight away and match them. But you, you just want a stunt double who looks like anyone. Well, yeah, all contestants, we've told all contestants to bring a spare. If, if you wanted a stunt double to bring a spare pair of your own clothes that we can put.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  So we'll have clothing doubles, that's on them. And then it will be our job to go, okay, well, if, you know, this is Dane, he's our stunt double. He has a shaved head and Kelly is pregnant and she has shoulder length hair. We've got to have kind of a wig and like, we'll have to have a little few bits and pieces to try and, you know, to make it look like, get some wigs. And.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  And when do we swap them? I think we swap them, they've done their guess, so we see the real person.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  And then we go, okay, Jack, over to you. And then while Jack's doing his walk.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Yep, we sort of cut there.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  We swap, we swap one.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  We swap a stuntie in.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  A stuntie in.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  And I don't think people will notice.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Yep. Early days, we, yeah, I guess, we, we, didn't we have a sub game afterwards that if you could spot the stunt double, you'd win something else? Or are we just letting that go?

• 13:01Speaker 02

  I think we let that go.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Too many things.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  Plenty of requests at hamishnatty.com to play this game to test their skills in social situations. It's Chit Chat Champions.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Are you the ultimate plus one at a dinner party at an event where if you were left your own devices while your mate goes to the toilet? Could you seamlessly join another group and continue the chat and be welcomed and not a weirdo? Could you add, could you add energetically to the conversation? It's the game everyone thinks they would do well at.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  But it is much harder in real life. Um, but that's all we love about it, Ando. It's all about timing. We don't, of course, the rules simply can't ask a question. We don't tell you when to start.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  You have to feel it out and then add something to the conversation.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Joining us right now is Jenna, a contestant today. Ahoy to you, Jenna.

• 14:01Speaker 06

  Congrats on the hole in one, Hamish.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  He doesn't love talking about it, but.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Trying to, really trying to slather away with the SP and just move on with life, but, um.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Are you a golfer, Jenna, out of interest?

• 14:16Speaker 06

  Um, I am, but on a smaller scale, uh, pitch and putt.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Right. I think, cause we do worry that, that, that the golf chat, this is too much sometimes, but would you say that you're not a keen golfer? But you're happy to listen to it? Cause this is just a little bit of market research.

• 14:31Speaker 06

  Oh, I love listening to the golf chat. I've actually had my own hole in one on the pitch and putt course, but you know, that's a smaller course, so probably not as cool.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  Still small, still small ball golf, but there would be purists who would argue it's not quite the same, but I'll leave that up to them.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  Jenna, what makes you think that you're good at small talk? What line of work you in?

• 14:53Speaker 06

  I'm actually a high school PE teacher. Um, but I'm actually on maternity leave at the moment, so my baby isn't that great at chat at the moment. So I might be a bit out of practice.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Okay. It can be hard. You do spend a long time just not talking to adults for a while there. But let's see if you can come back with a vengeance. All right, beautiful.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Uh, Kyle, ahoy to you.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Ahoy, boys.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Uh, nice gusto. Uh, Kyle, what makes you think that you'd be good at Chit Chat Champions?

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Uh, I'm a barber by trade, so I see daily people, people on a daily basis asking how their lives are doing and.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  All barbers have good small talk. Yeah, good small talk. Hey, Kyle, um, who's the most famous person you've barbed?

• 15:38Speaker 04

  Oh, probably one of the doctors from Doctor Who.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm not a big Doctor Who fan, so.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Can't say I am either, so.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  But I'm glad you recognized him, or did he have to bring it up and go, do you recognize him from Doctor Who?

• 15:55Speaker 04

  He would never recognize you anyway. It's probably why he didn't come back.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. Do you get upset with that? Cause I do float around between barber to barber. I, do you get sad when you never see a repeat customer again?

• 16:08Speaker 04

  Oh, it's a bit of a break of the heart, you know, cheating on you with another person. But yeah, that's just the basis of the game.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. I feel like the more complicated the haircut, the more it would hurt if they cheated. But if you're someone that's just coming in for a head shave and a beard trim.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  You'd be like, okay, I, I understand that.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  He's got to play around.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  They can get that anywhere.

• 16:29Speaker 04

  Twenty-five years of it, I'm pretty sure it'll be fine.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  Yes. All right, Kyle, thank you. We're going to put you on hold. Jenna's up first. Okay. Uh, Jenna, you know the rules?

• 16:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  Good luck.

• 16:41Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Oh, g'day, Ando.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  G'day, Ham.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Mate, I was just thinking about the golf sim going into your new place. How does that thing actually track the ball?

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Oh, I think it's just two cameras shooting at 1400 frames a second interlaced.

• 16:57Speaker 06

  Wow, that must be, um, quite the expensive golf sim, Andy. Must be nice.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Not bad, not bad. I think I could still detect you thinking about what you were going to say.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  No, I liked it.

• 17:11Speaker 06

  I didn't want to ramble.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  No, you saw an off ramp and you went, yeah, just, just jab him. Just get it with it, must be nice.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  I liked it. Jenna, I, I. I did too. It wasn't flawless though, I'd say, Ham. I think.

• 17:25Speaker 06

  I know.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  If you listen back, I feel like you were going, okay, I'm saying something and this is working out. And this, this is all I'll do. This is all I'll do. That's what I reckon it sounded like.

• 17:36Speaker 06

  Yeah. I was like, can't believe it's golf chat.

• 17:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's true. And it, because we'd like to imagine that, yeah, you have just joined a group at a party. I like the idea of coming in to a conversation, hearing someone going, oh, wow, must be nice.

• 17:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  You've just met of an antagonist, sure.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  All right, Jenna, we'll put you on hold. We'll bring up Kyle. Kyle, are you there?

• 18:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, who am I, boys?

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Jenna has registered her go. Good luck to you.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Oh, g'day, Ando.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  G'day.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Mate, I was just thinking about the golf sim at your new place. How do they actually track the ball on that thing?

• 18:14Speaker 02

  Oh, I think it's just two cameras shooting at 1400 frames a second interlaced.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  Well, I wouldn't know much about cameras, boys, but let's just talk about that sky today. Talk about blue.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  What?

• 18:28Speaker 02

  What? Sorry. What did you say, Kyle?

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Were you talking, were you, were you talking about the, how blue the sky was today?

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Cause I had no idea what the camera's about.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Kyle, did you have that?

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Interesting selection. Did you have that up your sleeve? I mean, as just a break glass in case of emergency?

• 18:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is literally.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Yep. Yep. Kyle, you know you've lost.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Bring Jenna back. Jenna, congratulations, you are the winner.

• 19:03Speaker 06

  No way.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Decisively too.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Kyle, thank you for playing, but Jenna, you get the token of no value, of course. We're sending that out.

• 19:14Speaker 06

  Thank you. I can't believe it.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. No value is attributed to it from us.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  Welcome to put your own on it though. Thank you so much, Jenna. Commiserations, Kyle. But I mean, I hope for your sake, wherever it is, it is a blue sky and great, great chance to go out. Have a look at it and think about what you've done.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  Of all the bodily fluids and things that your body can discharge or secrete, it works, I feel, doesn't get examined too much. And I was thinking about this the other day when I was looking at like some in ear bud headphones I've got. I don't reckon there is a faster fall from grace for a technology. Like when you get like, let's say it doesn't have to be AirPods, but AirPods are a classic because they're wide.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  You go, oh my God, look at this. This is so, what a feat of engineering.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  These little beautiful things.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Particularly the way Apple products made, you're like.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  One, one where in, if you've got a high wax ear, it comes out and you're like, this is almost so gross. You can't let other people see this.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  So true.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  My question to you is, what, as with, like, let's just call a spade a spade here because it's the human body. If poo is 100%, what percentage of poo is wax in terms of gross to see? Because you wouldn't, if someone actually had poo on their headphones, I don't want to say that. It's not nothing. I think so wax is obviously as a, as a, as a bodily fluid, way worse than spit.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But is it worse than?

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Like if someone got their wax on you, it's probably much worse than them getting their spit on you.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Is it worse than snot?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Wax is worse than snot?

• 21:04Speaker 03

  No, maybe, maybe germ content.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  I think it's.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Is wa- is wax worse than piss?

• 21:10Speaker 02

  To see?

• 21:12Speaker 03

  To get on you from someone else. Or to see, yeah. If you saw somebody, if you saw a guy come out of the toilet.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  I think wax is worse. I don't know why.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  I wonder, I know, I was thinking, I think wax might be worse than piss.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  Wee wee's kind of sterile. Like say if you dipped your headphone in a wee or it was covered in wax, I think I would, you could say it's sterilizing it. I think I'd put the wee one on.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  There is something gross about seeing someone else's wax.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Cause I've had someone offer me like, what are you listening to? Oh, you should have a listen. And I'd been excited about that.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  And they've offered me an ear and you, when you see the wax, you're like, oh, that's fine. Thanks.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Oh God, no. Yeah, no, you can't. I mean, it's the, and it's the, it's the smudge and like, it's the squishiness of it.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  It is a bit skid marky.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  But I think it's about where it's going because you know, you're putting it in a vulnerable place of your body.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  All right. What if someone, what if someone, and again, this is just for the experiment, Jack, and you can obviously say no, if you don't want us to do this, but had a Q tip, a little bit of piss on one, a little bit of wax on the other. Like I said, you're free to say no, but I'm just saying, if one had to go in your mouth.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  And it was someone else's wax or someone else's urine. You'd go urine, wouldn't you?

• 22:29Speaker 02

  I think I would.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  You wouldn't go poo.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  We all know that.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  We all know that's 100%.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  If that's sitting by hoping that it certainly can find its way up the ladder you can't.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  I think blood is just under like 98.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Yes, actually, that's right. Yeah. I think.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  But the, um, as they call it, the amber conundrum.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Urine or wax?

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Wax or urine.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Which is worse? Which is worse?

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Wax.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  It's wax, isn't it?

• 22:56Speaker 02

  But I, but then if you, if you, I think that's where, I know this is so gross, the people, we're going to stop talking about this soon, but then snot comes in. If, if it was someone else's snot or wax, I think I'm going.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  That's not bad. Yes.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  I'm going wax.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Unless it's your kid's snot, when, and which you don't believe, one of the things you do not believe before you have kids is when people go, oh, you won't care about your kid's snot. You're like, I will. It's gross. I frigging hate seeing a three year old with double barrel green dragons coming out there. No, and you just go, that's, I'll never love something that does that. I never will. Hear my words. I will never that. But then as soon, then when you've got kids, you just, you're grabbing it like it's, you're just grabbing it like it's past the salt. You just get handfuls, handfuls of that stuff.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  Really?

• 23:40Speaker 03

  It's going to be wild for you one day.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Gentlemen, next week a historic day occurs.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Oh gosh.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  It's also a remembrance day, which is a historic day, but it's true. No, just through coincidence, the 11th of November will be the official launch of the website of Hame's Hives.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  And honey's next year.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  This is how you preorder. The honey must be made over summer.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Preorder honey. Why do you, why do you need to preorder?

• 24:13Speaker 03

  It's going to run out. You won't get in. It's so limited. It's so rare.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  You, then you go to the supermarket and you grab it.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  You're thinking of normal honey.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  Premium honey, premium alpine honey. The website will open and you're both still invited to the website launch. It's going to be 5pm, November 11th. It'll be in Sydney. I would really love it if you could be there.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  An event together.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. Is it the Hame's Hives website launch?

• 24:39Speaker 02

  No, it's the golf thing.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  We're a golf day thing. Can you get out of it?

• 24:43Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Why can't you get out of it?

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Well, because one's golf and one's, would you like, I, I'm excited for yours, but one's a website launch.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, but.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  I'm excited for the honey. I am excited for the honey when it comes.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Thank you, Jack.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  I'll be honest about that.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  The whole reason this started, if we all cast our minds back, was I suggested we all open a honey business. Andy was a vehement no. Jack was on the fence. And I guess the goal was.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  I thought you were a no.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  I, I've, I've warmed to it now that I've got, uh.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  1.1%.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  1.1%. 1%. Yeah. I think, I think, I think the goal was dreaming of a day when I could go, well, actually guys, it's come, it's now it's a reality.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  Do you, I guess my goal was to create a brand that you looked at, and especially you, Andy, go, well, shucks, you know what? I really did miss out here. That's a damn fine business. Okay.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  I wish you the best.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Thank you. So the bee ranch.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  I think post November 11th, as you see the website after it's launched, and if you are able to make it to the event.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  The box reveal will be happening at the event. We have such a premium box. It's crazy. It's the most expensive box you can get.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Well, that sounds like a stupid thing to put around honey. Like it, it seems like a gimmick.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  Very giftable, very giftable honey, very giftable honey. There's three products launching.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  The website will be very clear.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  How much, how much, how much is it?

• 26:07Speaker 03

  I'll run you through the price points. So we've got the, the highest hives.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Energy gels, 100% honey. That's if you're an endurance athlete, strongest bees. How could they not be the strongest bees in the world for God's sake? We've got them way up.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Highest hives to your knowledge, because we've established that there are higher hives.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Just, they're very, very, they're our highest hives and they would, and they'd have to be, you'd be mad to put them any higher because it starts. It starts to kill the bees.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  How high are yours?

• 26:35Speaker 03

  They're just under 2000 meters.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  That's high.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  It's really high, mate. Wait till you see the footage. You, I mean, people that are on the Hame's Hives Instagram will have seen a sneak peek go out of last week, Farmer AJ was in New Zealand. And we were helicoptering up the hives to put them up for the highest hives. Cause you had to wait a little bit till it gets warm enough. Cause the altitude.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  You're chopping them up.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  These poor bees.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  They don't want to be up there.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  They love it. They love it. They fly all the time.

• 27:01Speaker 02

  And this sounds like a silly.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  They used to fly, but it's getting higher.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  If I did invest in a business and then I was at a board meeting and they're like, we're choppering up hives that don't need to be at that height. I'd be going, this is, this is not what I want to invest in.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Hives are chopperable. And I'll tell you.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Is that, is that reflected in the cost of the honey? It can't be cheap.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  It's not cheap. I'll tell you that. When they're up at that altitude, obviously the air is thin. So their wings have to get stronger.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  And the flowers don't grow up there. They need, they need.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  There's enough high, it's high altitude clover. High, high country clover is a delicious floral to make the honey from. And you really, a lot of people are like, what's the science? And.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  There isn't some, any.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Well, there doesn't need to be. I think it's just so obvious. This is so obvious to say, it's like, how can these guys not be the strongest bees in the world? All, from all reports, they're absolutely having a ball up there at altitude.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Well, what's the chances that you get to January or whenever they're meant to deliver the honey and they're all died up there?

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Well, we do actually cycle them. So the guys that are looking after the hives, they're like, we're going to do.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  There's more helicopters. That, this is how much, just tell us how much a bottle is.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  A gel, a gel is five bucks.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh.

• 28:08Speaker 03

  That's a normal for an energy gel. Most energy gels are like six or seven bucks, five bucks in a 12 pack. Um, usually, usually about six or $7 if you buy one of them. And they're all like chocolate weird things. This is beautiful alpine honey that can fuel. I think it's 28 grams of carbs, which you're into that kind of thing. That's like, that's good fuel for your workout. So we'll have the 12 pack highest hive gels. Then we've got the honey. I mean, you've got to have the honey. That's from the other 80 hives that form the Hame's Hives bee ranch.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's gorgeous.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  How much is that?

• 28:41Speaker 03

  That's $34 with the packaging and the jar.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  $54.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  For a jar of honey.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Hey, and special announcement, we're going to do a hundred magnums for launch.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  What's that?

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Like just big jars?

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, huge ones, huge bottles.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  That's gonna be annoying for your pantry.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  That will be, well, I mean, if you want to really show off, then this is what I think people will be most excited about as well. Our bee sponsorship program. Now, we put a lot of effort into the bee sponsorship program.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  This is an N F T hack job.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  This is, this is where you're taking advantage of.

• 29:14Speaker 03

  No, no, this is how you own a piece of history because if you order, obviously, if you order the honey, if you order the honey, it's not going to flow till late February, right? So for people that want, you know, it's nice to know that you're in, you've secured your rare bottle, but you're not going to get it till kind of February, March. If you want something now, you can sponsor a bee. For twenty dollars.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you want for twenty dollars, a certificate.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  You get a certificate.

• 29:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  You get a individual photo of your specific bee. It's like this bee was known as bee number, you know, nine thousand eight hundred and sixty five. And now you can read, you know, now it's owned by Andy Lee.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  The guy, no, it won't be.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Go to the website and just see the quality of your certificate.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  I will go to a charity website and use my twenty dollars to spend on something better.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Digitally signed off on by me.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Signed off on, so that's not signed.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Well, because we send it out just so you don't have to muck around with like, you know, all the postage and extra stuff. So it's me, I'll look at every certificate and be like, yep, great, that looks good, that looks good. So I'll sit in the office and sign off on them all.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, and you'll make sure that they're all individual photos of different bees.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  There'd be no doubling up of the photos. We've got a program that can identify the bees.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  To the current affair episode where.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  We welcome the scrutiny.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  And for five hundred dollars.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  No, no, no, nothing, nothing to do with this should be five hundred dollars.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  You can sponsor a queen.

• 30:36Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Here's the kicker, here's the kicker. If you pre-order the honey or the box of twelve energy gels, you get a free bee sponsorship.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Value it twenty dollars.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  And.

• 30:49Speaker 04

  Value it at zero.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  But you might also, there's a bit of a lucky dip. You don't know what kind of bee you get. You could get a queen. The other thing with the bee sponsorship, I should point out, is because bees only live for about six to eight weeks, depending on how hard they work.

• 31:02Speaker 04

  What, you have to renew your sponsorship every, every six weeks?

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Six to eight weeks after you're, you get your bee ownership certificate, your sponsorship certificate, you get a death certificate for the bee. Because that's to commemorate how hard the bee worked.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Um.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  And you cover the funeral costs for that bee.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  Your bee will go on the website into the bee hall of fame and it will live there forever. They'll be remembered forever in the website.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  Can I, can I play something for you, Ham?

• 31:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Uh, this is from two thousand and fourteen. This is your own words. I just wanted to see how far you'd go with this, but this is, this is what I was trying to protect you from, but have a listen to you on this show in twenty forty. You know, I've got a pretty firm policy against making foods that are a lot easier to buy. I'll throw, I'll throw honey in the mix.

• 31:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Don't get me involved in beekeeping because honey is about six bucks.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  And if you're not picky, you can just steal it from the, you know, if you're ever near one of the like little mini takeaway things, like hotels and stuff. You can just get a little pack of that stuff.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  Easily hoard enough.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Easily hoard enough. No one's having so much honey that making it is a good option.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  I don't even recognise that young boy. What? And you know what key words there is? Not picky. You know what I mean? Yeah, sure, you go to Sudna and get a tub of honey in plastic. Or do you want an artisanal glass bottle where you can pour it and it's got a hand torched, um, embossed lid on it made of gorgeous wood.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  What I heard from that boy was.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Really sorry for that young guy saying that, spouting off, spouting up, poor kid. I wish I could go back in time and just explain to him, mate, you don't know what you're talking about. You sound like a fucking idiot.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  Because.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  What I heard was honey is six bucks. That's what I heard, Jack.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Mate, if you want to go to a hotel and steal a little tub of plastic honey, you're more than welcome to do that. Maybe Hame's Hives isn't for you, but if you are after something that's gorgeous, we're the free bee sponsorship thrown in and the death certificate coming your way six weeks later, six to eight weeks later on an automated system. God, get excited for November eleventh, guys, because we are going live.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  We will, we'll have a drink to him on, at, at our golf thing. We'll.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  Definitely.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Why can't, what is this golf thing?

• 33:16Speaker 04

  Is it, I was gonna say charity golf event, but it's not the charity.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  This is for fun, so fun, fun golf event.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  So just don't go. It's not charity. Who's it for?

• 33:25Speaker 02

  I'm getting paid to go, so I'm going.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  Jack, are you getting paid to go?

• 33:28Speaker 04

  I'm getting paid.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, okay.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  But I, I mean.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  Well, I'm not paying you to come to this launch, but I'd like you to think about it from the bottom of your heart.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  If you want to match theirs, we'll look at it.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  Unbelievable. Here's Andy, have you helped me for value? And he's gonna be turning up, faking around, swatting around for a few grand at some golf day, when he could be taking that money and the right thing to do is be spending it all on pre-orders for people, buying a bunch of queen bees. That'd be a nice thing to do.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  I will buy one. I'll be.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Buy a queen bee?

• 34:00Speaker 04

  No, not a queen, but I will buy.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Well, I hope you're getting quick, mate, because it's very limited, very limited. And Jack, you're in for point one of profits.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Yes, and I'm worried it's been all spent on helicopters.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  I can understand that. You know, so when we make our first million dollars, which I can tell you will not happen this year.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  That's a thousand bucks to you.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  That's good. What am I making per bee sponsorship? Two cents?

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Okay, sorry, yeah, come on. I don't think it could be less than that.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Just quickly before we go, it's been a couple of weeks since the wedding and there's a few things that keep coming in via email, questions. And there's a few moments in the wedding that you, we haven't talked about yet that I wanted just to quickly get your take on it for those obviously very different perspective.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  It was a great wedding, honestly.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Great.

• 34:47Speaker 04

  It was really good. Thanks, thanks.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  First wedding energy, second wedding budget. That's how I've described it.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  It was like, oh, it's come along at a time in everyone's life where we can sort of, you know, get away, everyone's a little bit more financially set up. So it really could go nuts. But usually that's the second wedding.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  Not for you.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, he took his time. First question that came in a lot on email was, did hogs make weight? As we've talked about the, the suit and that he kept asking them to take.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  Take five percent off.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Take five percent off.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  He appeared to make weight.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  He did.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Like his suit fit.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  Exactly, because they didn't, they didn't take it.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  They would get it all the time.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  Yes, I asked Andrea about it, uh, at P Johnson. He said, uh, we get it all the time. We know it's much safer just to not take off the five percent. You can always at a late change bring a suit in. Much harder to, uh, find material and take her out. So yes, we all look smart.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  You'd be absolutely just odds on favourite to always go, absolutely, mate, we'll take six percent off. Are you the kind of guy that'll get really in shape?

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Second part that I get asked about from guests, and I definitely wanted to get your perspective of this, hasn't come out at all, but my sister sang at the ceremony.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  She did not, she didn't tell me she was going to sing or anything.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  I thought she was going for a gag at first and I don't think that's, she won't mind. Yeah, she won't mind me. I don't think she'd mind anyone thinking that.

• 36:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  I thought she was doing the joke of, because she did, it was like five minutes into the ceremony.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  That she was doing, I thought, we thought it was a reading. She launches into the first bar of start spreading the news.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  Yes, without saying anything.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  Without saying anything, yeah.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Huge laughter. Everyone was thinking the joke was, I'll imagine if I got up here and sang.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  But then continued and sung the whole song, but it was changed to make it for you and Beck. So then by the third or fourth line, everyone was like, oh, she's going for it. And.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  And I would say, is it fair to say she's not a singer?

• 36:53Speaker 03

  It's very fair.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  It's absolutely fair.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Professional singer, but gusto was through the roof.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Huge.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  So she turns to her husband.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  There's always that nervousness though in the crowd where someone's like, okay, all right.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  This is what I want to discuss with you guys. And even though she wasn't a great singer, you, I, I think you were relieved by going, well, at least she's not embarrassed because she was giving it a hundred percent.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  She was, and full commitment to the bit, and that's why I bought the house down. It is, and it's so strong.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  But she turned to her husband just before the ceremony started and said, can you please start clapping after the song? And he went, what do you mean? He goes, um, she said, I'm singing a song.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  So she didn't even tell him. She hasn't workshop this at all.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  And he said, are you sure? So this is, but so from a groom's perspective, um, my sister's not known for singing.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  I hear her start singing and I go, oh shit, she's singing. This is my inner monologue. And so I turn around and I'm listening like, yep, she's singing. And then I'm thinking, I wonder what Beck feels about the singing, because that was my main concern.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  Hmm. Yeah, you weren't allowed to chip golf balls down the aisle.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Exactly. So I slowly, I was smiling along and I slowly turned back to Beck, hoping that she's enjoying the singing. And then she had a great look at her face and was laughing along and I'm like, phew, Beck's enjoying the singing.

• 38:15Speaker 03

  Maybe we can chip, maybe we ride this momentum and since we're doing funny things now and the ice has been broken, we did bring the club. So we have a little go at that.

• 38:27Speaker 02

  And so there was that moment where the whole congregation sung New York, New York in unison as to, with my sister. And it was an awesome moment. And I was like, okay, great.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  I think it was a pivotal point of the wedding. It's where it just went airborne. And when she went, everybody now. And we sung, because we were loving that she'd gone for it. That really was the make or break point of the wedding. She said, everybody now.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  It would be like, oh my God.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Even if Paul clapped at the end of that, it wouldn't have mattered.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  They have flown halfway around the world for this thing that is struggling to get airborne.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Final part was, we did throw around a lot of ideas before and one did make it through, which was surprise, surprise speech.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  Expertly hosted by you, Ham. And so for people who don't know what this was, we had an idea that you hear from the best man all the time, you know, the father of the bride. It would be more fun to pull out a ball with a guest's name on it and they had to suddenly make a speech. As soon as you explained that, Ham.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  From the front of the room. Yeah. As Hogs and I are emceeing, we're going through this idea. And it was, I was like, I'll intro this and Hogs, you get on the roving mic and you, you go, and we, so we had a bingo, like a Lotto ball, kind of a bingo roller. All the balls are in there. Everyone's got a special number on their name setting or their ice card or whatever it is. And it's randomized, so it's not, you know, you've just put it in a machine. As soon as we sort of explained what was going on, I have never seen a room full of terrified people so much, like sheer panic.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Sheer panic. People looking at me, shaking their head, no, no. A couple of cocky people were going, yes, this will be fine. Undoubtedly, there was many whispers of, well, if they pick me, I'm not doing it.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  You had to, you just had to. And that was the thing. And the whole point was like, we'll let the balls decide.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Afterwards, people were like, oh, you know, you've got people in here that are like professional comedians and it turns, why don't you get them up? It was like, if the balls wanted them, the balls would have chosen them.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  We let the balls decide. You can't rig it.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  You just must let the balls decide. I got in the most trouble when I sat back down and Zoe goes, what's my place number? I said, I have no idea what your number is. And she goes, that's my problem. You should have known. And so you could protect me.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  She didn't want to speak.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, you should have known I was 58. So if you pulled 58 out, you could have said, okay, it's 59. You should have had that burned into your brain. I said, honey, you gotta let the balls decide, I'm sorry. Everyone's in the mix.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  So Ham announces this and then this plays across the whole reception.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  It's time for surprise, surprise speech.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  And Hamish popping along and he's doing the big wheel. And at the, at that point in time, because there was three people that spoke, Juliet, Brad Blanks has been on this show before, he's one.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  Did great.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  And then the second guy was Marty, my, one of our longest friends, a childhood friend. So Marty turns, he's actually on a table with Hugh Jackman. He turns to Hugh and goes, this will be rigged. This will be rigged. So he's just relaxing. And then Hamish pulls out Marty's number and then Marty suddenly has to get up. I would say deer in the headlights is probably the way that you would describe.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  As, as one of the producers of surprise, surprise speech, this is what we want. This is what we want.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  We want three perfect speeches. I mean, the bar's low, we're going to clap everyone, celebrate everyone's best efforts. You can't fail. But I think it's what the crowd wants too. You want to say something.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  Yes. But he essentially just paused for a long, long time and then thanked us for being sat next to Hugh.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Although, although I will say this, the first person that got did surprise, surprise speech, I mean, you put into that, it's like the ultimate chit chat champion, you know, it had that energy. So you know that there are a couple of just easy outs. Well, not really, but Juliet did a great job. And she was like, you know, thanks so much, Andy, thanks to everyone. Just kind of fell into some thankses and then went, I guess internally went, this is actually the way to go.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 42:33Speaker 03

  Just go, thanks galore. Thankses are easy. No one can get upset at the thanks, you're thanking people.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then you've used up all the thanks for the next person.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  Well, then after she finished, Hogs, I think sensing that as a trick, Hogs goes, right, we're going to make a rule. You can't thank anyone and you can't thank, you can't thank Andy and Beck. And then pretty much Marty's ball came out. So Marty's not only deer in the headlights, but then, well, now I've been banned from referencing Andy and Beck. What am I, what am I here to talk now? It was a massive stitch up.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  He did bloody well though.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  It was great. It was great.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.