Pod Insights Hamish & Andy 2025 Ep 305 - Use These Power Moves Wisely About this episode We’ve finally locked in the date for our attempt at the World’s Tallest Hat record! We also hear from some very trustworthy candidates to officiate the big day. A few wild power moves have come our way - including one that honestly needs a warning label. Plus, Hamish takes us on an emotional journey as he buys a new baking pan. Meanwhile, despite Andy’s best efforts, Mick (Andy’s dad) is still refusing to ditch his ancient 20-inch TV... so the boys cook up a sneaky plan to trick him into an upgrade.
1. Tallest hat - trustworthy listeners
2. Power moves
3. Operation Win Mick a TV
4. Hamish’s new baking pan
5. The Lee Family Gazette
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 A Listener Production.
0:07 Speaker 01 Activate your internet, because the Hay Mission and the podcast starts in three, two...
0:17 Speaker 01 Sorry, it's still buffering. One.
0:23 Speaker 02 Ahoy to me god, Hamish. Oh wow. Uh oh, it's nicknames we had in your age.
0:34 Speaker 03 I couldn't help it. I was too good at sports.
0:38 Speaker 02 It's like I'm in a huge gambling debt and I have to do something. Yeah. Um, for the rest of time. No, it's not that. In fact, I think this is hard, this one, guys. Okay. But ahoy to me Coca-Cola, Jack. Okay, ahoy.
0:52 Speaker 03 Uh, things that are popular.
0:55 Speaker 02 Well, you're on the right track. I am Titanic. The Beatles? Oh, Titanic. Um, it's the way we use these words rather than actually a link between them.
1:08 Speaker 03 Well, I mean, do you... People will say like, okay, that's the god tier of something if it's like the best, I don't know, hat you can get. For example, our tall hat would be the god tier of hats. But I've never heard Coca-Cola tier.
1:23 Speaker 02 And then the Titanic tier.
1:25 Speaker 03 The Titanic tier is bad. That's what you think is gonna be great. Let's hope our hat is not Titanic tier. It was very big and it seemed like it would do a good job.
1:35 Speaker 03 Uh oh, who's this guy wearing a giant iceberg running at us? It's the other tall hat record holder.
1:42 Speaker 02 I don't know, we have security for that. Um, hey.
1:45 Speaker 03 Well, we have an Irish sailor and let's hope he does a good job keeping a lookout.
1:50 Speaker 02 They are the three most recognised words in the English language. Really?
1:55 Speaker 03 Ah, fair enough.
1:56 Speaker 02 Isn't that... I mean, it's an odd thing to measure, but yes, it's the three most recognised words in the English.
2:02 Speaker 03 I don't Coca-Cola understand because they've got a fair bit of marketing behind it. But, um, you know, there's still got a heap of people getting the word out. But Titanic, that is a left field, that is out of left field.
2:14 Speaker 02 All publicity is good publicity.
2:17 Speaker 03 Still talking about it. That's it. Why did you crash? Why did you crash her? Look, we'd have just made the voyage and it would have just been another regular old voyage. People are still talking about it. True. I wonder if we'd even know what the Titanic was today.
2:31 Speaker 02 Absolutely not.
2:32 Speaker 03 Absolutely not.
2:33 Speaker 02 If it didn't crash.
2:33 Speaker 03 Still think if you're a relative of one of the victims, you'd be happy enough for it to just go.
2:37 Speaker 02 No, exactly. But, you know, Heinz Cameron, for instance.
2:41 Speaker 03 Thrilled. Thrilled, yeah.
2:42 Speaker 02 He went on to win Oscars for it and made a lot of money. So, you know, there was some.
2:48 Speaker 03 Tough one for him to settle. Yeah, there. Tough conundrum. Yeah. Different film if it made it. Boring film. Quick and not as many. Yeah, certainly not as many Oscars.
2:59 Speaker 02 No. Ahoy also to David. In Canada, Ham used the very easy to use system at hamishnary.com to tell us what he's been up to.
3:07 Speaker 04 Ahoy, boys. This is David from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. I started listening to the podcast about a year ago. I've been listening at a rate of about two episodes a week and I just finished episode 100. So, a little discouraging to see that I'm still 195 episodes behind. I would love to catch up someday and be right in there with the modern episodes, but I'd love to be able to contribute to what's happening in the podcast. But it feels like I'm too far behind. So I have this idea of a way that you can give a little wink, a little nod to me and all the other very important podcasters that are trying our best to catch up from a distance behind.
3:49 Speaker 04 So in a few seconds, I'm going to say a swear word and then I'll know because I'll check at the most recent podcast that you've released in the next few weeks. If I see a little E beside the podcast name for explicit, then I'll see that as you almost giving me and all the other podcasters that are behind a nice, warm, appreciative, acknowledging hug. So, three, two, one, fuck.
4:16 Speaker 02 Cheers, boys.
4:18 Speaker 03 Okay. I mean, he gave fair warning and there's no chance we're not getting an E on that because it's nice and clear.
4:25 Speaker 02 It was clear as day.
4:26 Speaker 03 Enunciated. Well, Phil, do you know, I was just like, what does this feel like? This feels like. Um, Interstellar. Like, it feels like a message from the past that appears in the future. Like, it does feel like he's time travelling somehow, because he's stuck in the past, listening to these old messages from like, four years ago, these old podcasts.
4:44 Speaker 02 I just appreciated that he gave the countdown. So if anyone was in cars with kids, they could easily just dip at that point.
4:51 Speaker 03 But yeah, and I appreciate that he's doing two a week. That's twice the recommended serving. He's a hungry boy. But you can be hungrier than that. You could do five a week.
5:00 Speaker 02 Oh, that's too much.
5:01 Speaker 03 You're just too much. But that's why.
5:05 Speaker 02 He'd be sick of us by the time he gets back up, which would just ruin it.
5:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a real Augustus cloak, isn't it?
5:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:10 Speaker 03 You can have all the, all the podcasts you want, but it will make you sick. But that is sort of what the government mandated break. If there is any silver lining in that, whilst Andy and I are screaming at the sky, just railing against the break, you can use that to gorge, if you want, even three episodes a week to close the gap. So, best of luck. If you've got a friend that is stuck in the past doing that, we recommend they use their summer wisely.
5:36 Speaker 02 Um, Haim, we've got to get on to something that no doubt, uh, he'll enjoy once he gets there. Um, it's a huge announcement today of our quest to break the record for having the tallest hat.
5:53 Speaker 05 Conversations of tour hat construction. Thanks to Top Stage Advanced Composites, we make cool stuff out of fiberglass and carbon.
6:01 Speaker 03 Okay, genuine things are being locked in here. We've done just enough updates, I think. I think people go, okay, we don't, we get it. Updates, we get it. It's a hat that is much taller than any other hat I've ever seen. We get it. And it's not easy to make such a hat. I've never made one. No one's ever made one. It is the world's tallest. There's engineering involved. All of that, I think, is almost done.
6:24 Speaker 02 Yes.
6:24 Speaker 03 It's now time, at some point, you've got to put the bastard on your head and walk. And that's what we're gunning for. That's the, not that I'm trying to just add more E-words into this, into this episode, but at some point, we just got to walk. When are we doing it, Andy?
6:40 Speaker 02 We can tell everybody that we will attempt. I mean, this could have been a Peter out. It had Peter out.
6:46 Speaker 03 All over.
6:47 Speaker 02 Should have been. In fact, I think I called it early.
6:50 Speaker 03 Yeah. And on that, top stage advanced composites have done a fantastic job, haven't they? They actually saved it probably from being a peter out because once they started, now it'd be so rude to not do it after they put so much work in. Yeah, we now we're almost, you think the hat is a passenger on us, but we're merely passengers underneath the hat, whoever gets to pilot it.
7:14 Speaker 02 In three weeks from today, we'll be attempting the record, everybody, and you'll hear it on September 11th.
7:22 Speaker 03 Yep.
7:22 Speaker 02 That's when that pop will drop.
7:23 Speaker 03 Well, yeah, that Thursday is September 11th. I think we're doing the attempt on September 8th. How is the hat getting out? Have we already talked about this? How does it get from, because we're going to do it at Hogg's warehouse. We just, well, it's the only, we need a place, outside is obviously susceptible to wind and you'd hate for the attempt to get ruined by wind or rain. So you need an indoor place with a very, very high roof.
7:49 Speaker 02 Yep. Logistics of all that we'll talk about next week because what we need to do is we put out at hamishnady.com. Who could come and be our officials, like when Tats Lotta has government officials that make sure that it is obviously all legit.
8:05 Speaker 03 Because this is this all was because we discovered it costs tens of thousands of dollars if you get Guinness involved.
8:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:12 Speaker 03 You know, that's how, and that's fine. That's how they make their cash, but they rely on FM breakfast shows around the world.
8:21 Speaker 03 Deciding that it's worth 10 or 20 or $30,000 to go for a Guinness World Record and stuff your underpants full of as many baked beans as you can. See if you can beat the record by two or three beans. Take it off those guys from San Francisco, bring it back to Brisbane or whatever your desire is. That's how Guinness makes their money and that's fine. We are like, well, why don't we just save that money?
8:43 Speaker 02 Yes.
8:43 Speaker 03 And we will all know we've got the record. We don't need to be in a book. We'll know we've got the record. And we'll know because we're the most trustworthy listeners watching it to make sure everything was above board.
8:53 Speaker 02 We put a form up at hamishnady.com and asking for people to apply to be our officials, Ham. I think the form was, well, measuring. People and prove their trustworthiness, just general trustworthiness. And how well they can take in distances, both vertical and horizontal.
9:09 Speaker 03 That's very important for this.
9:11 Speaker 02 And the ability to pay attention, because obviously, you know.
9:14 Speaker 03 We don't want them drifting off. We've got to walk 10 whole metres and you don't want someone getting distracted halfway through the walk. And then having the worst thing you could have from a government official.
9:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:23 Speaker 03 Is have them nudge the person next to them and go, what happened?
9:30 Speaker 03 You just never see that.
9:31 Speaker 02 No, you never see that. Now, we're hoping it's one and done, but there might be multiple attempts here. We can't.
9:36 Speaker 03 As long as the hat holds up.
9:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, we'll keep trying.
9:38 Speaker 02 Anyway, these are the submissions.
9:44 Speaker 00 I'm incredibly trustworthy. As a teen, I worked for the Queen's Estate in a coffee shop. And an American tourist came in once and offered me £10,000 for the apron I was wearing. Simply because it had the Crown Estate logo on it. I didn't sell. What teen turns down £10,000?
9:59 Speaker 06 I'm extremely trustworthy. I'm registered with Engineers Australia. And underneath the Commonwealth Statutory Declarations Regulations of 1993, I can actually witness a stat deck. That's a pretty trustworthy thing to be able to do. I'm also a justice of the peace, which is the most trustworthy member of the community. I haven't progressed to shopping centre JP table, but hey, dare to dream, boys.
10:21 Speaker 02 A couple of years ago, I met you at the McFannin Golf Day and ended up with Andy's personal email address in order to pass that on to the person at work that looks after partnerships. Or to speak plainly, the Weasel Opportunity Department. And ever since, resisted the temptation to ruin his presumably extremely tidy and well-maintained inbox with all kinds of dodgy website sign-ups.
10:44 Speaker 00 As a former youth international pole vaulter, I feel uniquely qualified to help judge the Tall Hat Record attempt. I used to cheerlead and my role within the team was the flyer. So I was the one standing on the shoulders, getting tossed in the air. So very, very experienced up high. I know the above head height topography, like the back of my hand.
11:02 Speaker 06 With golf, I don't use a range finder. I just pick the club so I can guess the distance pretty well. And also with my work, I actually have to calculate distances. So that's pretty good.
11:12 Speaker 00 So when someone tells me that they're six feet tall, I have to mentally stack six foot long sandwiches end to end to visualise how big that is. If you for some reason decide to go in imperial, I will have to use a workaround based around meatball subs, but I'm sure we can make that work.
11:28 Speaker 07 For the past 20 years, I've studied measurement as a registered surveyor. So I can confirm the world's tallest hat to a legally binding standard.
11:35 Speaker 01 Still required. Hyper fixated attention.
11:40 Speaker 06 I'm a statistician at the Australian Open tennis. I get paid to watch tennis and basically never blink. And if you know tennis, you know matches can go for 45 minutes or five hours. And I'm there courtside, laser focused the entire time. You know, with TikTok these days, the least three second videos, I can actually sit through like a 15 to 20 second TikTok. So I'm pretty sure I'll be able to watch the whole thing.
12:05 Speaker 00 I'm a mum of two, so at any given time, there's a million things happening. There's dinner cooking on the stove, there's a three year old about to draw on a newly painted wall, and there's an 18 month old climbing on absolutely anything she can reach. And I'm across it all. Nothing gets past me.
12:20 Speaker 07 I've been working on paying attention. With cricket season approaching, I pride myself on being able to watch the entire first session of a test without falling asleep. Come the lunch break or afternoon sessions, all bets are off. Hopefully the hat launch will be in the morning, but I understand that atmospheric conditions may impact takeoff.
12:39 Speaker 02 So many candidates, Abe. Wow. Is there anyone that stands out to you that's a must?
12:44 Speaker 03 Yeah, I do like the idea of the junior pole vaulter.
12:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:48 Speaker 03 And I loved it. Who was the woman? I understand the top, above the head. She was a flyer. Topography. Yeah, she was a flyer and a cheerleader. I like someone that understands what it's like up there. And she's almost lived as a hat, you know, she's been up that hat height. So I feel like she's going to be there. The civil engineer, I mean, the surveyor, sorry, the surveyor who legally can, could he bring one of the things on the tripod?
13:15 Speaker 02 Well, that'd be nice, wouldn't it? Even if we don't use it, it'd be nice to have it looked out there as proper. Look, we'll, we'll reach out to them. Obviously we've got the date now. This is so exciting. Five, should we fly in five? I mean, a few of them from Britain, so we're not going to do that. Seems like a long trip.
13:32 Speaker 03 Let's fly in five.
13:33 Speaker 02 We'll fly in five people.
13:35 Speaker 03 Because ever since the special skills debacle, you know, we've been saving eighty, ninety dollars a week that we were spending on the cheapest available airfares. And so let's just blow it on this.
13:47 Speaker 02 Yeah. And, and look, it's money that would have gone to Guinness had we chosen that route. So this is a much better way to spend it.
13:54 Speaker 03 And we're not, not anti-Guinness, and I might even suggest we go and have one to celebrate.
13:59 Speaker 02 Oh, would they like that, do you think? Or do you think, is that a?
14:04 Speaker 03 Wouldn't it be nice to be able to say, and you know what? The other day, we had a Guinness and a world record.
14:14 Speaker 03 A Guinness and a world record.
14:18 Speaker 07 And when we post a picture of it, we can just do Guinness, comma, world record as the caption.
14:26 Speaker 03 We've got him, mate. We've absolutely got him on a barrel there.
14:36 Speaker 02 Hey, they keep coming in and we do want to be known as the podcast that you can turn to to get the upper hand in any social situation. Hence, power moves.
14:48 Speaker 02 Can I start with one that I, I'm not sure is a power move, but I did find it amusing anyway.
14:54 Speaker 03 That is, that is a category all in itself.
14:57 Speaker 02 It's from Jacinta. I think she's flagged that she's not sure if it's a power move. She said, some friends of mine live in a share house situation with some family friends. There's a mum, dad, daughter, and then a couple of family friends, which I think is an interesting.
15:09 Speaker 03 Interesting. Yeah, it's a sitcom.
15:11 Speaker 02 When the daughter moved out to go into state, they didn't repurpose her room, but they use it now as the fart room.
15:17 Speaker 03 Hmm.
15:18 Speaker 02 And they all go purposely in there to release gas.
15:21 Speaker 03 I mean, it's not a power move.
15:23 Speaker 02 No.
15:24 Speaker 03 I mean, when she comes back and goes, what has happened in my room? I guess that's one to go, well, can we tell you a little secret? We've done eight months of farts.
15:33 Speaker 02 Well, she says it's been nearly a year since that, but there still remains the fart room.
15:37 Speaker 03 I mean, the farts will get out.
15:39 Speaker 02 Yes.
15:39 Speaker 03 Eventually, but I suppose they will soak it. Will they over time soak in?
15:44 Speaker 02 I just think it's, I think it's the feel of the.
15:48 Speaker 03 Respect of it.
15:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think that's more the issue.
15:51 Speaker 03 That is true, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, look, yeah, it's a kind of power move.
15:55 Speaker 02 What did you guys do in my room while I was away?
15:58 Speaker 03 Don't worry about it.
15:59 Speaker 02 Yes.
16:01 Speaker 02 Uh, Ham kicks off.
16:02 Speaker 03 Okay. Look, this is in a, certainly in the category of, um,
16:09 Speaker 03 well, no pun intended, but it is an asshole move.
16:12 Speaker 02 Okay.
16:13 Speaker 03 This is, can be used against someone who has done you wrong, writes Lennon. And I think, I think it might be a bit of a classic too, but you, you gotta admit it is a power move. Write their phone number on the stall of a public toilet. And look at the time I was thinking, okay, just, you know, we've got to be careful where these ones go. But write the words, send me a photo of your poo. This is forever a power move is the individual cannot stop it. They can't block the people that are sending the photos because it's going to be a different person each and every time.
16:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:45 Speaker 03 I would say use, that is awful. Use Kef, like obviously use very wisely.
16:50 Speaker 02 That's like nuclear codes. I mean, you'd invade.
16:52 Speaker 03 It's hard to walk that one back.
16:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:55 Speaker 03 You're gonna wake up six months down the track and go, I shouldn't have done that.
17:00 Speaker 03 I need to either drive back to Aubrey and go to that pub or call the pub and go, listen, cubicle four, I've had to think about it and I regret what I did.
17:09 Speaker 02 Uh, also an a-hole move here from Joe Ham. It seems to be more of those moves than pleasant ones, but he goes, this actually happened to me. And I can confirm how small and powerless it made me feel.
17:23 Speaker 03 Right.
17:24 Speaker 02 Picture this, you're at a friend's place for a party or a hangout and they've got a Google Nest or Alexa. He's got Google Nest, something similar, a speaker in the living room.
17:33 Speaker 02 When you leave, you're about to casually say, hey, Google, set an alarm for 3am and crank the volume to 100%.
17:42 Speaker 03 Someone did it to them?
17:43 Speaker 02 Yes, he said, I then got a text from my friend saying, thanks for having me sleep well.
17:55 Speaker 03 Really good. This, this comes from a man that said, please don't use my full name. Okay. But I'm only going to use the first initial so he knows who he is. C.
18:06 Speaker 03 Says, if you're in a position like I am at work and you are just so sick of replying to emails from customers demanding things from you, simply turn on your vacation response, but put in the message, this email violates company email policy and therefore has been rejected automatically.
18:23 Speaker 03 So you never have to respond and they're just left wondering, what did I do that violated the policy?
18:32 Speaker 03 Really like that.
18:35 Speaker 03 Natalie, power move. It's a social media power move.
18:41 Speaker 03 When you see a video on social media, TikTok or Insta, or someone flexing where they're showing off that they're hot or they're showing off luxury. You should be able to find one of those on there. Comment something like, I think I saw you working at McDonald's at Westfield. You had such great circus.
19:01 Speaker 03 That is good. All right, last one. From Lily here. She's reporting her boyfriend. She's in the UK at the moment. He is, this has happened to him and I guess he's come home and gone, I didn't know what to do about this. And she's gone, well, me neither, but I know who to tell about it. He's a teaching assistant and, which usually means you're younger, like, you know, you might only be five years older or less than like the students you're teaching if you're at a high school. And the kids have started calling him Virgin. And he is in a pickle because he doesn't know what to say. He can't argue with them that he's not a virgin. No.
19:45 Speaker 03 But they can't, he can't also just accept the nickname Virgin. So he's really checkmated. It's a good battle.
20:00 Speaker 03 Hey, a few weeks back, I was telling you about how my dad's never bought a TV in his life. Somehow he's won two.
20:09 Speaker 02 Won two in a raffle.
20:10 Speaker 03 And then got one from you when you moved out and that.
20:13 Speaker 02 That's gone through.
20:14 Speaker 03 By my calculations, has gone through 60, no, can't be, but 50 years of television.
20:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's it. So nearly 45. So.
20:24 Speaker 03 Still a lot of, lot of years per TV. That is an economical use of TVs. And his current TV though, the current TV is the biggest, that's the showstopper that I tell people when I'm retelling this story. Like, I guess how big Andy's dad's TV is. And they go, oh, 110 inches, thinking that you've set your old man up well.
20:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, no.
20:44 Speaker 03 And no, you're off by some 90 inches.
20:49 Speaker 03 20.
20:50 Speaker 02 20 inch telly.
20:51 Speaker 03 And huge for a MacBook.
20:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:53 Speaker 03 All for a TV.
20:56 Speaker 02 And so I've been encouraging him to get a bigger one. I was going to help him out. He doesn't want a bigger one. He's like, it sits nicely in the purpose-built cabinet that we built in 1994, which we thought we were oversizing because we thought televisions will get bigger. And so he's been reluctant to take on a bigger telly. We're having a giggle about that, the fact that his television is 20 inches. And Haim, you said, we should make it feel like he wants another one.
21:20 Speaker 03 Well, he's refusing. If he refuses to buy one and won't let you buy one for him.
21:26 Speaker 02 No.
21:26 Speaker 03 The only way around this, yeah, is to trick him into thinking he's won one.
21:30 Speaker 02 Hmm. So he's won two from a raffle. We've gone down that route again. I was at the scene. We went out to where dad lives. I met a young fellow called Angus there, who's in the scouting association. Because we thought if he's selling raffle tickets for scouts, dad was a scout leader.
21:45 Speaker 03 Yep, that's absolute kryptonite. Well, no, opposite of catnip, mixed nip for, for, for your dad.
21:53 Speaker 02 Um, and there is a scouting theatre show called Campbellville Showtime, which I was on stage with. And so, and that was the kind of thing they do fundraisers for. So Angus is a scout from the exact scout hall that dad was at.
22:08 Speaker 03 Perfect.
22:09 Speaker 02 Okay. And he was selling tickets to raise funds for Campbellville Showtime. Okay.
22:14 Speaker 03 This is like when, I don't know how deep people are into their fishing, but when you go fishing and the bait perfectly matches what the species would eat.
22:25 Speaker 03 We cannot miss here. We will catch a snapper. This is the perfect bait. We'd never miss with this.
22:31 Speaker 02 And we know exactly where the snapper is.
22:33 Speaker 03 Yes, it's a school of one. We're gonna dangle the bait right in front. There's no fish can resist this.
22:40 Speaker 02 So the only worry was, would he have money on him, you know, like, because it was $2 a ticket and we didn't have FBOS facilities. But so that was the only worry for us. Anyway, we met in a side street and it's kind of like a reversed heist. We're actually trying to get a TV into his house, but
22:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:57 Speaker 02 Through a raffle situation.
23:01 Speaker 02 Angus's mum was there. He, she dropped him off and waited in a side street. And, uh, and we met to see if we could get the first part of this whole ruse underway.
23:13 Speaker 01 The team assembled in a perfectly ordinary patch of suburbia. No dark alleys, no smoky back rooms, just the masterminds behind the operation and a plan to pull off one of the greatest reverse heists of all time.
23:29 Speaker 02 All right, Angus.
23:30 Speaker 07 Yeah.
23:31 Speaker 02 Part of Operation Make Dad Believe He's Won Another TV in a Raffle. We have a mini operation before that, which is Operation Get Dad to Buy a Raffle Ticket.
23:39 Speaker 07 Of course.
23:40 Speaker 02 You've been bought in.
23:41 Speaker 07 Yep.
23:41 Speaker 02 You're the perfect candidate because, um, you go to the scout group that my dad used to be a leader at, that I used to go to, School First Canary. So be prepared for boring stories from him.
23:51 Speaker 07 It's always from scout leaders, isn't it?
23:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay, good. So you know the drill. You're gonna go up, try and convince him to buy one.
23:58 Speaker 07 Yep.
23:58 Speaker 02 Yeah. Do you want to practise at all or?
24:00 Speaker 07 Oh, yeah.
24:01 Speaker 02 Okay, good.
24:02 Speaker 07 Oh, hey, welcome. I'm here selling tickets, fundraising for Campbell Showtime.
24:06 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, Hilda, Hilda knows Showtime. One thing though, when you said welcome, he'll be at his house, so you don't have to welcome him.
24:12 Speaker 07 That's a good pickup.
24:15 Speaker 02 That's good, that's good.
24:16 Speaker 07 Yeah, so do you want to buy a ticket?
24:17 Speaker 02 Oh, how much the ticket?
24:18 Speaker 07 $2, $2.
24:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, how can I find?
24:20 Speaker 07 Big prizes as well.
24:21 Speaker 02 Okay, awesome. He might ask the prizes, you can withstand, but I'm more likely, I think he's gonna go, "Showtime, my son was in Showtime."
24:28 Speaker 07 There you go.
24:29 Speaker 02 And then he'll start telling you long stories.
24:31 Speaker 07 Gotta love that.
24:32 Speaker 02 I think you're just have to bear with him.
24:34 Speaker 07 Yeah, I'll stick to it.
24:35 Speaker 02 Um, and then get in the ticket, tell the details.
24:38 Speaker 07 Yep.
24:39 Speaker 02 And then you can just walk out as if you go to the next house. We'll pick you up in the getaway car.
24:43 Speaker 07 Perfect, sounds good.
24:45 Speaker 02 We're on here, we're on.
24:50 Speaker 01 The crew was set. This was part Ocean's Eleven, part school carpool. There were still some small details to decide upon as they made their way to Andy's dad's house.
25:01 Speaker 02 Jess, you're the getaway driver.
25:03 Speaker 00 I know, but...
25:05 Speaker 02 Who are you channeling? Are you channeling Ryan Gosling from Crash? With Crash? Right, right, that's probably, should probably say that.
25:12 Speaker 00 What's that lady with the curly hair that she, in the kidnapping movie with Maria?
25:16 Speaker 02 Oh.
25:17 Speaker 00 She's in the car.
25:18 Speaker 02 Melissa McCarth?
25:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's who I'm...
25:20 Speaker 02 Okay, right, I don't know the reference.
25:22 Speaker 00 And she's like...
25:23 Speaker 02 Is she a good driver?
25:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, but she's really annoying. Like, she annoys the guy.
25:27 Speaker 02 Right. Or what about Baby Driver?
25:30 Speaker 07 Oh, that's a great movie.
25:31 Speaker 02 Great movie, yeah.
25:32 Speaker 07 I watched that recently.
25:33 Speaker 02 Now we're in Angus's level of films.
25:35 Speaker 00 I have no idea what that is.
25:37 Speaker 02 All right, we're pulling into Dad's street. Same street I drop on. And then, I think Jess just pull up here and we'll let Angus out.
25:47 Speaker 07 On the right?
25:48 Speaker 02 On the right-hand side. It's the, it's the white picket fence there.
25:51 Speaker 07 Perfect.
25:52 Speaker 02 Yep.
25:52 Speaker 07 Easy. And then I'll just walk towards this end of the street.
25:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, and don't be distracted by the box hedges at, at the front. Because I, I've made them all with my box hedge company when I was about 12 years old. And they are really impressive. So just, again, keep focused.
26:08 Speaker 07 Perfect.
26:09 Speaker 02 Got a job to do. Yep. Okay, good luck.
26:13 Speaker 01 With Angus wearing a wire, the plan was in motion. The crew went dark. From the safety of the getaway car, the man who started it all could only watch and listen in, hoping the target took the bait.
26:33 Speaker 02 You seem very nervous, do you? That's great, it's cool.
26:40 Speaker 02 That's what the doorbell looks like. Now he's looking back at us, don't look at us.
26:45 Speaker 07 Hello, nice to be, I'm Angus, I'm selling tickets, we're fundraising for Camwell Showtime. Oh, perfect, we are catering to Showtime. Oh, there you go. Thank you. Thank you.
26:56 Speaker 02 He's made a good start. He's confessing with dad.
27:02 Speaker 07 He didn't look nervous at all.
27:06 Speaker 07 I've got, I've got tens and coins, so I should have changed.
27:11 Speaker 07 Doors opening, doors opening, doors opening. Oh, awesome, thank you. There's ten. Thank you. All right, your ticket's out. So you're saying your kids are in it? Yes, yes. Alex Lee back then and Andy Lee. There you go. Name rings a bell. What was your name? Michael. Michael. I'll put your name on them. He's doing a great job. Lee? Lee, yeah. There you go. Have you got your phone number on you? Uh, I've... Big spender. Perfect. I'll give you five. Oh, yes, sorry. I'll do that. He's got five tickets. Thank you. I'll tell you about five tickets.
27:48 Speaker 07 Five. So you write your name on the other one, see? Yes. Good joke from dad. Nice to know where he gets it from. My name's Angus. There you go. Enjoy. Thank you for buying some tickets. Enjoy. Thank you. Amazing, amazing. Like taking candy from a baby. Or like giving a TV to an old man. Oh, he's going back this way. He's done bloody well. Get him straight back in the car.
28:17 Speaker 07 Sensational. Sensational. Get him, get him.
28:23 Speaker 07 Ah, right. Get your head down. Well, you don't have to, mate. I should though. All right. Tell us when we're cleared here.
28:36 Speaker 07 And just like that, they were out of there. The kid stayed cool. And the target?
28:42 Speaker 03 Blissfully unaware he's about to be the new owner of a 55-inch 4K beauty. Mission accomplished. Yeah, we're cleared. Oh, well done. You did it like a regular Melissa Carr. Whatever film you're talking about there.
29:00 Speaker 03 Hey, I love, get your head down, get your head down. Just in case Mick on the front porch goes, "Hey, you bastards trying to give me a free TV? I warned you kids, trying to give me TVs."
29:14 Speaker 03 But I think he got away with it.
29:16 Speaker 02 We had to drop him back to his mum. And then he says, what do I do with the 10 bucks? Because we had this day, we had stolen from him.
29:26 Speaker 03 I think all, I mean, he's a scout, so he's going to do the right thing. He's probably going to donate it to the troop.
29:30 Speaker 02 Well, I'd have said, yeah, that's, that's you. That's, that's, that's yours, mate. Um, thanks very much.
29:35 Speaker 03 Salacious headline. Andy Lee underpays child worker with pitiful cash payment thieved from father.
29:46 Speaker 02 So we now enter phase two. And the final phase, we hope of this reversed heist. And we invite Lys into the studio. Hey, Lys. Hey, guys. Huge week for you. You've obviously got to get the three groupings at the start of the episode. And that's obviously the worst work and takes up most of your week.
30:05 Speaker 03 Double work week here, Lys.
30:07 Speaker 02 What are you more nervous about? The three groups of three or trying to prank dad? This prank, I'm scared.
30:13 Speaker 03 Because be honest, the groups of three takes five seconds.
30:20 Speaker 02 Lys, we've given you a little bit of backstory. You're Denise from the Burundara Scouting Association. You're going to call dad now, Michael, and just tell him that he hasn't won first prize, but he has won the second prize. Be interesting to see whether he doesn't want the 55 inch. We've listed as a 55 inch and mum would protest that. So it'd be.
30:41 Speaker 03 This is the whole, I mean, let's go back now. The whole reason we're doing this is because he, he wouldn't accept it from you as a purchasehander. And there was obviously a simpler option here, which is, hey, I'm your son and I bought your TV. And he's just like, I don't want it. And it also, he seemed though to warm to the idea. And he enjoys his origin story as someone that only wins televisions. That's his superpower. So we're hoping he, he would just be like, okay, we know it's 35 inches too big, but will he accept it because he's won it?
31:13 Speaker 02 Lys, I've just jot it down there for you. If you can at the end go, have you ever won anything like this before? Because I just would like to see him again.
31:20 Speaker 03 If he reels off the list, if he reels off the list of the TVs he's won. Are you ready, Lys? Okay, here we go.
31:32 Speaker 02 Hello.
31:33 Speaker 07 Hello, this is Denise calling on behalf of Burundara Scouting Association. Am I speaking to Michael?
31:40 Speaker 02 You are, you are.
31:41 Speaker 07 Oh, great. Michael, how are you?
31:43 Speaker 02 I'm well. We haven't won a raffle, have we?
31:46 Speaker 07 Well, you actually have. We, we, you bought a ticket. I believe you bought a ticket. And I'm ringing to say that you've been successful because the, your ticket was drawn. You didn't win first prize though sadly, which was the hotel accommodation package. But you did get the second prize, which is a 55 inch QLED TV. Oh, wow. Yeah, congratulations. Congratulations. That's our second one we've won. Oh, a second one from us? No, second TV we've won. Oh, so you've won a TV before? Yes, yeah, which is great. That's perfect. But it's a while ago since we won that other one. How long ago?
32:31 Speaker 07 Uh, well, it's probably about 20 years ago. We've still got the same one, even though our kids keep telling us, no, it's the wrong one. Oh, really? Well, lucky, free upgrade for you. Oh, perfect. That's great. Oh, fantastic, Michael. I'm glad you're excited about it. Someone will circle back to organise the delivery of the TV. We'll grab your dates at your free so we can drop it off. Oh, great. Perfect. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for your support, Michael. Have a great day. Thank you. Bye. Bye. You won a TV?
33:07 Speaker 03 Well done.
33:08 Speaker 02 Well done, Mike. Yes.
33:11 Speaker 03 Forcing family members to have enormous TVs, lies, killed it. Killed it. Outstanding.
33:19 Speaker 02 Also, the, we won a TV as yet.
33:23 Speaker 03 It's worked. It's worked. You keep putting it out there.
33:27 Speaker 02 Well done.
33:27 Speaker 03 He can go and take his vision board down now. It's a 20 year old vision board with cutouts from Vogue. Just please get us a TV.
33:37 Speaker 02 I can't believe he didn't reference his first ever one. Cause that's what he told me that he won at a primary school raffle. So maybe it's so, well, that would have been 40 years ago, 45. So maybe he's.
33:47 Speaker 03 I know, but I love that he went straight into reeling off his pedigree.
33:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:52 Speaker 03 Sorry if I don't seem too excited there Denise, because uh.
33:55 Speaker 02 This was a full.
33:56 Speaker 03 I kinda do this shit all the time. Very good at winning TV.
34:01 Speaker 02 Well done, Lys. Thank you and uh, and thanks to Angus as well. I mean, before we go, should we just, can we just isolate that bit where he does, I think yelled to mum. I've seen TV.
34:11 Speaker 03 This, Annie, this is what you're after. All the hard work is, this, this is the bit where it pays off. You want a TV?
34:20 Speaker 02 Amazing. Congrats, guys.
34:29 Speaker 03 Little bit of a must be nice here. Self-reporting, but I bought a new baking pan the other day.
34:35 Speaker 02 Oh, honey, come on.
34:37 Speaker 03 Off Instagram? No, Jack. Off the shelf at a shop.
34:42 Speaker 02 Really?
34:43 Speaker 03 Homewares shop. Yeah. I saw it and went, you know what? That has been, but I wasn't meaning to buy it. So it wasn't impulse buy.
34:49 Speaker 02 Why were you in the shop?
34:51 Speaker 03 Just looking at other stuff.
34:52 Speaker 02 He's allowed to go to the shop.
34:54 Speaker 03 Just a west village, just dawdling around.
34:56 Speaker 02 Right. So you, you were in a west village and you're like, I'll go.
34:59 Speaker 03 I was waiting for Zoe. I was just like, come on. And you just, anything counts as distraction when you have the kids. Like she was nearby and went, it was going here. And it was a homewares, you know, it was like a homewares type store.
35:09 Speaker 02 Yep.
35:09 Speaker 03 So you, and then it kind of popped back into my head and I was like, yes, actually our baking, current baking pan is bent. Like it's gone a bit wonky and it's just so, it just has generations and generations and generations of burnt. Of, you know, the black corners, like burnt olive oil, burnt butter, whatever is in the corner. And over, over years, that just becomes, when you do the dishes, when you have a baking pan. There are bits that you know are new, like, oh, that's the bottom of a potato. I can scrape it off. And then there are bits that you just accept it's not, it's not clean. Cause it's not there when you bought it. But there are parts in the corner that you go, no, no, that's just part of the pan.
35:53 Speaker 02 I agree.
35:54 Speaker 03 Moved over to the pan side. That's not removable anymore. We don't count that as food. It can't hurt anyone. It's been there for years. That's just become part of the furniture.
36:03 Speaker 02 I view it like plaque on a tooth. It's like, well, you gotta go to the dentist to get that. Like I'm brushing my teeth.
36:09 Speaker 04 I get special equipment.
36:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:11 Speaker 03 I don't know if you even can get this stuff off. I suppose I could find the old pencil and drill into it to see what's behind there. But you know, like, how could you, even if you use like chisels and stuff like that is just part of the pan.
36:25 Speaker 02 Nah, you can get it.
36:25 Speaker 03 After years.
36:26 Speaker 02 My dad's very good at it.
36:28 Speaker 03 Well, the thrill, like you take the pan home.
36:32 Speaker 02 Yes.
36:32 Speaker 03 Right. And we're doing, and I was doing a roast. You take the pan home. And to have, it's just almost like your eyes can't believe it.
36:40 Speaker 02 Yep.
36:40 Speaker 03 Like it's so new. It's the newest thing you've ever seen.
36:43 Speaker 02 Yes, I agree.
36:44 Speaker 03 It's more of a, it's a more intense feeling than a new car. You're just like, look at this thing. It is, it's like sparkles, cause it's like this, the non-stick. And you're like, this is just wild. So, you know, give it a rinse. Zo's like gave it a rinse, dried it. And Michael was ready to roast. Zo is fierce on you must rinse everything when it comes back from the shops.
37:03 Speaker 02 Really?
37:03 Speaker 03 Fair enough. I think we've talked about it before. Like she won't let me wear t-shirts straight out of the packet. Cause she's like, oh, the factory, the factory. What she thinks goes on at the factory is just people racing around licking them, stamping their dirty feet on them. Whatever happens, she thinks happens. Anyway, wash it, put the potatoes in. You know, it was a crisp, a deep roast of the potatoes. A very deep roast.
37:27 Speaker 02 Even.
37:27 Speaker 03 And.
37:30 Speaker 03 Well, I was like, okay, well, this is the first hit out of this pan.
37:34 Speaker 02 Yes.
37:35 Speaker 03 And there's some, yeah, very, very deep roast. But that's, we all love a well-cooked potato.
37:42 Speaker 03 Hey, so then you have to wash it up, right?
37:44 Speaker 02 Yes.
37:45 Speaker 03 Meal was a hit.
37:48 Speaker 03 Do you do this, Anna? Cause I've got a friend that does this and he's a bit, he's as pedantic as you, Marco. He has two scrubbers in the kitchen because he, if you've got, if you've cooked a chicken schnitzel, you've cooked a roast, whatever, and you've got a pan or something with a lot of oil and grease in it. He won't put the, um, the scrubber, you know, that has the clear, the, the tube that has the detergent inside the handle.
38:09 Speaker 02 Yes.
38:10 Speaker 03 And the, kind of the scrubbing head with the sponge. He won't put that into that schnitzel oil. Because once the oil gets on it, it's then ruined forever.
38:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:19 Speaker 03 So he has another one that comes in for first and gets rid of the first layer. Then he sends the pristine sponge in for the finishing job.
38:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think I'm doing the same thing.
38:28 Speaker 03 Amazing.
38:29 Speaker 02 Particularly if there's some tough, tougher, like, you know, the, the bottom with the muck that you can't get off normally. I'll send in hot water, get the steel.
38:39 Speaker 03 I'll do hot water first. I'll take a layer of.
38:41 Speaker 02 Take a layer of, and then steel wool, the one that doesn't actually absorb anything, like not a sponge, but like a.
38:45 Speaker 03 Proper steel wool.
38:46 Speaker 02 Like, yeah, or one of those type of ones and then go to the cleaning agent.
38:50 Speaker 03 Well, it was, I do have the steel wool. Anyway, so I, I washed the pan as good as I can, but the corners are burned, right? There's some burning that's happening.
38:59 Speaker 02 It was a deep roast.
39:00 Speaker 03 It was a deep roast. It was a very deep roast. And I gave it so much, Ando, and I had the steel wool and it was starting to scratch the lining. I'm like, this feels poisonous and forever chemicals. So I don't want to do that. But it was a shame because one cook in.
39:17 Speaker 02 Only one.
39:17 Speaker 03 In two of the corners now, there's just some of that black and you go.
39:22 Speaker 02 Did you have enough?
39:23 Speaker 03 Well, I've tried. What's that?
39:24 Speaker 02 Did you have enough oil for the, when you started like?
39:28 Speaker 03 Yeah. I mean, it was just, you know, like it's drizzled in, like it's, there's a, you know, a few centimetres of oil in the bottom.
39:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:35 Speaker 03 But yeah, you go, it was just an interesting moment in the pan's history. I just thought, here we are. We've seen the death of one pan and it's just gone out with decades of burn, like burns, like layer on. And here we are at the birth of the new pan.
39:47 Speaker 02 One and done.
39:48 Speaker 03 And one in. You go, well, welcome to the family. Like you, you're, you now live in those two corners forever. And we'll never, we'll, you'll be with us for every meal for now on. Like you will be part of our life.
40:03 Speaker 02 Quite extraordinary.
40:09 Speaker 02 So I just glanced at my phone during that last break we had and dad has texted the whole Lee family gazette, which is our family.
40:18 Speaker 03 Yes, this is big, easily big enough to use to make the gazette. I've seen some of the stuff that makes the gazette and that threshold is low.
40:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, it is. In amongst the photos of my nephews, their grandkids, which tend to be a high rotation, guess who just won a TV and a raffle, he writes. 55 inch is a bit big though for us. So he's.
40:42 Speaker 03 Oh no, he's not trying to palm it off, is he? No, he's selling it.
40:45 Speaker 02 So mum's gone, are you serious? They're not together. I just threw the raffle tickets out or is this a different raffle? My sister's then given laugh, laugh emojis. Then said, are you guys in the same room? Talk to each other. Can't wait to hear how this unfolds. This is from my sister and congrats on the big win dad. XX. Dad writes, I'm heading back into the bin now.
41:09 Speaker 03 He thinks he's lost it.
41:14 Speaker 02 My brother, what was the raffle for? Dad, Scout's Showtime raffle. Beck chimes in with congratulations, Mickey, amazing star face, star eyes emoji. Dad then triumphantly goes, found them and has taken a photo of five tickets all ripped up. And he's trying to piece them back together.
41:36 Speaker 03 Maybe he's already won. He's won. Well, the idea that they're going to get to the door and go, and now all we need to see is the completely unforgable stub of your end of raffle ticket that looks like every other raffle book in the world.
41:50 Speaker 02 He writes, not sure which one, but I'm getting the sticky tape out. Right. I wrote back, well done. Do you want me to mock up what the 55 inch looks like in your space? Cause last time he got me to take a photo and put Photoshop different.
42:04 Speaker 03 Different sizes on.
42:05 Speaker 02 And that's where we're at. That's where we're at at the moment.
42:08 Speaker 03 I, do we go, do we just for fun, go deep on this and have someone turn up at the door and go, now we just need to see the ticket.
42:17 Speaker 03 Sorry, it looks like you ripped these up and stuck them back together. That does void it. You look at the, you look at the terms and conditions. Needs to be a pristine ticket. Now we've completely lost sight of why we started this and now we're just messing with an old man.
42:36 Speaker 02 No, I think we stay the course.
42:39 Speaker 03 I think we give it to you.
42:39 Speaker 02 We try and get a TV in there. I don't want to tell him though, until the TV is in position, unlocked and unpacked.
42:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, what's the chances of him hearing this though?
42:48 Speaker 02 Like. I don't know. We've got to move quick.
42:51 Speaker 03 We've got to move quick. No, but he'd be like, my, my, I mean, my dad doesn't listen, but my mum doesn't either. But if it's, we've probably got to keep this stuff off socials.
43:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:00 Speaker 03 If mum saw this on a highlight, she'd be across it.
43:03 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
43:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's keep it off socials.
43:05 Speaker 02 Okay.
43:10 Speaker 01 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.
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