2025 Ep 294 - The Relationship Bird Test

Hamish gives Andy and Jack some homework; an at-home test designed to act as a barometer for how healthy their relationships are! Power Moves are back in full force, and on a long road trip Andy discovered a funny fact about Hanson’s song “MMMBop”. Hamish reveals his bold attempt to dodge a red light fine, and puts a burning salsa theory to the test – is there really a difference between Doritos Hot and Medium? 1. The bird test 2. Sneezing through a red light camera 3. Power moves 4. MMMBop 5. Hot takes on hot salsa

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet, because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in 3... 2...

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. 1...

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me War Turtle.

• 0:25Speaker 03

  Hamish.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Ah, great.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Do you know what? And I'm gonna shark this from Jack. We're evolutions in Pokémon.

• 0:33Speaker 02

  But what evolution?

• 0:34Speaker 03

  From Squirtle.

• 0:37Speaker 03

  I've got it, haven't I, Jack?

• 0:38Speaker 04

  He's got it, absolutely.

• 0:39Speaker 03

  Yes, yes. Thank you, Sammy, for your two-year period of being into Pokemons.

• 0:45Speaker 04

  You get full marks if you can tell us what Andy is then. What's the third evolution of Squirtle?

• 0:49Speaker 02

  No, no, we're not.

• 0:49Speaker 03

  Blastoise.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  Sorry. I was about to give you the three... The middle evolution of three different Pokemons.

• 0:58Speaker 04

  Okay, I know what they are.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  But well done, Ham. So Squirtle is then... Yeah, Blastoise.

• 1:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, Blastoise and War Turtle or something like that.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. I'm... Ahoy to Jack, who is a Chameleon.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12Speaker 04

  Yep. So it goes Charmander, Chameleon, Charizard.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  Who cares? And then I am Ivysaur.

• 1:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  Wonderful.

• 1:21Speaker 03

  Okay, who cares? Poor Radio Mike would be turning in his grave, if sadly he's died recently. Because after... After years and years on this podcast, and he was the biggest Pokémon fan of all time. People might remember. He probably resisted so much, knowing that we would have just accused him of doing something he was into, and now...

• 1:41Speaker 04

  He was probably at the top of his notepad everywhere. Can't do that. Can't do that.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  I'm too into it. Anyway, he's also not dead.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  No, that's why I said if his shock... Shock died in the last, you know, hour or so.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Ahoy also to Wesley, Ham. He went to hamishandandy.com, uploaded, very simply, a piece of audio to tell us what he's been up to. Give us his thoughts.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  He's just the evolution of Charl Wes. He's the middle one, and then Old Man... Old Man Wes is the final evolution.

• 2:10Speaker 05

  Boys, how you going? I wanted to bring something to your attention that I have a theory on and I was just wondering if Andy could speak on it. The Is Josh An Asshole segment, enjoyable. I liked it. I initially thought asshole, asshole, all the way asshole. However, presenting the arguments from Hamish and Jack, I felt kind of softened it up a little bit. For me, I especially understand the whole £4 is worth 10 minutes thing. The more the story went on, the more I became suspicious that this Josh person is the equivalent of, "Oh, my friend likes you." In that, I believe Josh might be Andy.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:47Speaker 05

  The whole time I was thinking, it's a bit random that he just met some random dude playing golf. I know that happens, I know it does, but the other thing that made me a bit suspicious was towards the end of the conversation when Hamish said, "Oh, you know, was she dressed up? Did she have her clubs?" And Andy, rather than saying, "Oh, you know, Josh didn't say, or, you know, he described to me what she was wearing, which would have been weird anyway." He spoke in the first person. He said, "Oh, no, she certainly wasn't dressed up. Maybe she was getting changed when she was getting there." Now, hmm, it's a bit suspicious. And I have a feeling that Andy is Josh. Might be a case of Hamish needing to blow this one wide open.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Ooh, finger his iron horn. Yeah, look, I'll pop it on the list.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  I'm not, I'm not, I'm not Josh. I can be an asshole.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Which is exactly what, which is exactly what a Josh would say.

• 3:41Speaker 04

  Do you remember what he was talking about most? Most of that I didn't understand what he was...

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Look me a while, it was from a few episodes ago. But you're gonna get that when it takes so long for people to upload the audio at the website.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  I do remember deciding whether he was an asshole or not, but he was so specific in what he was talking about, I couldn't remember a lot of the detail.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Well, he's clearly, he's listened to it.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  He's listened and sat down and talked in that moment, as if we've just done the end.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  And it has, does take time to get...

• 4:05Speaker 03

  There's a lag.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  There's a lag.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  There's somewhat of a lag.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  The people can go back and listen back, that's the excitement.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Decide for yourself.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, decide for yourself.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  It's Andy Josh.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Um, Haim, you asked us to do an at-home test last night. I did, Joshie, I did. Which involved... Sorry. Which did involve us using our partners and recording them unbeknownst to them.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Some partner research. People might have seen this going around. I'm sure it's not a new thing. Just happened to see it on Instagram the other day and I thought, I actually questioned its efficacy because it's called the bird test. I think it goes by other names. Based on a theory of psychology that in relationships, there's always an ebb and flow of attention, right? And we were trying to get attention. And so it's called, when you, when you do something and you want your partner's attention, it's called a bid for their attention. So you're like bidding for attention and how they respond to that bid. It's meant to be like a barometer of how healthy your relationship is. So.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  We didn't know this. Well, I couldn't tell you this because you'd perform up to it. I wanted just a cold, yeah, I just had to do like a cold test. So, oh, Andrew, my Andrew, my sweet Andrew, what can I do for you? So I just said, really simple, guys, we'll all do the same thing and see how our partners react. The test is meant to be, you go. You mentioned, it's, it's meant to be an example of something mundane and how they respond to something mundane. Like, are they interested in you? Will they show interest in something that they wouldn't normally show interest in? So you're meant to be near a window, I guess I added that bit in and go, oh, wow, there's a really interesting bird outside. This is my understanding of the test. Look at that bird.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Then according to sort of the data, they either go, oh, what, what is it? Tell me about the bird. Or like, oh, that's cool. And come over and be interested. And that's a good thing for your relationship. That's good because it shows that, hey, well, I'm actually over here, like putting the washing into piles. I'm not really interested in birds, but I, I will be if you are. Because I care about you. With mine. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Will you wait till the end? Okay. Or they go, the example I read, the article I read was a bit harsh. They go, I don't care about birds. What are you talking about? That's a bad relationship. Which I don't think you need to do a test for. If you're in a relationship where you go, oh, hey, I saw, I'm looking at an interesting thing and they go, I don't care about that. How dare you open your mouth?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  That's always a bit of a red flag. But I was like, what will? Spectrum of that. What will our partners do? Does this test work? Why don't I go first since I made us all do this? My error was, and remember yesterday I had, I sort of read it yesterday morning and I was like, we should do this on the pod tomorrow. Yep. And I was out for a lot of the day.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Finding the right window was tough.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  The right window in the day, like time wise, or the right window to find the bird out?

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Andy has over 400 windows in his house.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  And sometimes the butler will kind of close up a whole room, like in the summer wing, if no one's coming until the summer.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  Then the velvet curtains, because they get so dusty, they get taken down.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Hay made his own personal aviary, so it was very easy for him to see.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  Imagine how interesting I had to say the bird was for it to top some of the birds that we have in that aviary.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  No, the window of time, because, I know we're getting to mine, but that was tricky because if sundown was coming and if you like, oh, you want to see that bird in the daytime, definitely.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Well, in Sydney, because I'm in Sydney, you guys are known, and the sunset's like almost an hour earlier. So like, because you're further north. So I got home, I was texting Carly, who's our producer, and I was like, remind me, remind me, must record the bird thing. I did it pretty soon after getting home, but I, even as I walked into the kitchen, I was like, I've got to record the bird test. And it is, it's heavy dusk.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Heavy dusk.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Uh, this is how I went.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  Can you set the scene?

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Oh, so, well, I think Zoe was cooking rice.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  And I had to go over to the kitchen window.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  We got like a breakfast nook, breakfast table, and I had to lean out the window and try and, try and turn the phone on and like leave it subtly on the ground.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  And my big thing was getting her across to the window as well. But as I looked out the window, I was like, I'm going to have to really sell this because it is legitimately dark.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Dark, yeah.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  Um, so I knew we're on shaky ground anyway, but this is how I went. Oh, wow, there's such an interesting bird outside.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Well, that's a lion.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  What's that? Yeah, there is. He's up on the, like up on the pole.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  Why are you filming?

• 8:42Speaker 03

  I'm not filming.

• 8:43Speaker 00

  You definitely are.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Damn it.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  Are you interested in the bird though?

• 8:53Speaker 06

  There's no birds at night.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  Should have done it earlier.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  So heavy dust really meant not to talk.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  She immediately came back with, well, that's a lie.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, the first thing she said is that's a lie.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Which I was like, that's a pretty accurate snapshot of our relationship. Listening back to my voice, I probably sold so much mayonnaise on it.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  Play school version. Let's have a listen just to the start again.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  Oh, wow. There's such an interesting bird outside.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  Ah, he's the play school version. That's where Andy comes in and goes, I know a song about interesting birds.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Great.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  Anyway, yeah, so I got that's a lie.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  Hard to tell with yours. I mean, that's a lie. We get a good insight.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  That's me and Zoe's relationship in a nutshell. If something's a little bit off, so I was like, what's up?

• 9:49Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  That's a lie. I'm on to you. I can't, I've got no wiggle room. Jack.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  Okay. Ours takes place at home. Bianca was actually wearing headphones, listening to something.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  That's tough.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  While doing stuff around the house. So I waved her down as if I had something very, very interesting to say. So this is her taking her headphones off as I'm saying there's a bird outside.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  Hey babe, come and look at this. There's the most amazing bird outside the window.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Do you want to see the most amazing bird?

• 10:26Speaker 06

  Why are you being weird? I'm scared.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  I'm not being weird. I want to show you an amazing bird.

• 10:32Speaker 06

  You're being weird.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  I don't, I want to show you a bird.

• 10:38Speaker 06

  No, you're being weird. I can tell you're being weird.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  Come to the window.

• 10:43Speaker 06

  What is it?

• 10:45Speaker 04

  It flew away.

• 10:48Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  What's your comment, man?

• 10:54Speaker 06

  You're not very good at acting.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  What do you mean? I saw an amazing bird and I wanted to show you.

• 11:01Speaker 06

  What was it? You can't even make it up now.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  Give me a second. He was a parrot.

• 11:09Speaker 06

  What are you doing?

• 11:10Speaker 04

  I love you.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  Wow, the immediate response is you're being weird and I'm scared.

• 11:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Jack, if I was Play School, you were stranger danger.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  Come with me, I've seen the most incredible bird. Oh, I really should, I should talk to someone. No, no, no, just you. Come, come with me to this room.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm the example of the person you wouldn't follow.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Well done though. I'd love that you, I'd love that you hadn't thought through what bird it was.

• 11:40Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't know, I didn't really know what the test was. So when we got, when we got to the window, I didn't know what part two was.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a bit confused as well.

• 11:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, and looking hindsight, maybe I could have dodged the test and just like you knew what it was about. Cause yeah, you were left with nowhere to go except you knew it was a relationship test.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  All we were told, all we were told is, all we have to do is around your partner, say, there's a bird outside the window. And that's, that's all the information.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  And see what they say.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's true.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  I could have given you more.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Well, what am I doing now?

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Can I read that? Jack just threw in, and I love you at the end. For good luck, basically. Basically just like getting a garlic bread with your order. Who, who's not going to enjoy a garlic bread? Or just throw in an I love you.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  But you got one back, which is nice. If we head to mine, I had a few competing factors. It was dusk as well, but Beck was getting home with a small window of time before she wanted to go out to Pilates. So I knew I had to try and get it in quickly because she was leaving in the next 10 minutes.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Good work. And look, and I'll just say too, we all, we all got it done earlier than we do most work for the podcast. Even doing this at five or six o'clock at night, that's prepared for us. I'm surprised mine wasn't at two in the morning.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Hey, wake up.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I heard an amazing bird outside.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  One error, one error I've made, which I've realised, I said in past tense, I saw a bird today.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  There's not much to go with there. That's a weak bid for attention.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  So there's no Beck charging to the window or anything.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, right.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  The other thing that becomes evident here is as soon as Beck gets home, I am normally referred to second with salutations and the dog takes up a good three or four minutes of her talking to the dog.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  She's above you in the pecking order.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Asking what the dog's been up to. I think mine starts with the end. I think the last 20 seconds of Beck's two minutes with the dog. So I'm waiting patiently for that to finish.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Before she looks to the runt of the litter to see how he is.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  You should have said, Henry saw a great bird today. Then Beck decides to wash her hands in the key moment where we try to hear an outcome. So that's going to damage the audio here. But also Beck then picks up the dog and is still playing with it, not really listening to me. So that's all the things.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  We almost don't need to listen to this, but I don't have high hopes for you getting the response of her going, that sounds incredible, darling. I love everything you see. And if it matters to you, it matters to me.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  Basil, he's had your toast. Oh, that's so lovely. That's so nice. That's so nice.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  Who knows? Who knows, Peter, one? Yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  I saw a most beautiful bird outside the window.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  Did you?

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  What kind of bird was it?

• 14:49Speaker 02

  What kind of bird? I don't know. I think it was.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Parrot, maybe like a.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  I know, ma.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  It was a, well, it's just, it was certainly a parakeet type thing.

• 15:04Speaker 00

  Cute.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was just, just down there.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  My favourite bit is A, yes, I could have told you guys more about what this is about. B, you both, when put on the spot, took a good three to four seconds and both went with parrot.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  The problem is, we've seen Amazing Bird.

• 15:30Speaker 03

  It was the, it was the one from Up, the animated movie.

• 15:33Speaker 04

  I can't say flamingo, they're not in the local area.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  That would be amazing. McCaw.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  We didn't know what we were trying to do, so it was hard to prepare.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  I've stitched you guys up, but that's why you both had a big freeze and both said parrot.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  But I don't think it matters what Andy said there. Beck wasn't more interested in Andy than the dog, no.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  My dream would have been Beck and Bianca going to Pilates together last night. I remember going, Andy is the weirdest thing today. So I'm parrot. And Jack's sort of parrot as well. There's a bunch of parrots flying around. Um, but good response, the best you could hope for from Beck. She did say, what kind of bird was it? And I think she even said, that's cute.

• 16:12Speaker 04

  That's cute. I think you win, Andy. She tried. I'm in a honeymoon phase, guys.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Mate, she tried. I mean, it was never as good as the dog having a cold nose, which she seemed very interested in.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  And I attempted something recently that I think you'll be proud of. Um, I was issued a red light camera fine. Um, and it was turning left on a red left arrow.

• 16:44Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  Was me in the car. I do remember that.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  Was it a quick orange?

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Very quick orange.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  Never I tried that.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, you, you contested it. Yeah, short orange.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  Short orange, yeah.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Very short orange. And I, I was, I know where I was. I was driving back from picking up Indian takeaway. So just, just putting it out there in the listeners' minds, of course, I respect road rules, but you know what the pressure is like with hot takeaway.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Not saying I deliberately ran it. I had no recollection of doing anything wrong.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  But eager to get home at, at premium temperature for takeaway food.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  And do you know what it probably was? It was probably one of those ones where it goes red arrow and then it comes off again straight away. So you know, you're always going to get the almost permanent left hand turn.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  But they put it the arrow there in case someone's crossing the road. I probably said, no one was there. Maybe that's how I've inched through and, and I was just over.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Just over. So they show you the photo, I get the fine and it's huge too. I was on clean points, like I had no demerit points. And it's three demerit points and like 550 bucks.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Did it tell you how many seconds that you, 550, oh, did it tell me how many seconds that you, cause that, I've had that before with a red light.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  And it tells you how far you missed a pot.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I would have been very, very, very close because my front wheel just inched over. So I was like, I could contest it on that. And on the app, you go, or on the website, you can go and I, and I contest, I go, you want to contest this? Yeah, yeah, I'll contest. You could get on good behaviour if it'd been so great. There's a, there's a dropdown menu and it goes, what are you contesting it on? There's all these different options and one of them was excellent track record, never hadn't, never had this offence before. So I was like, I'll just pick that and it goes not available for this offence. And I don't put it there because I thought that was the easy one just to go, you get, well, you kind of get one of them. And so I said, okay, other. And it was like, takes you to this page and it goes, here's all the documents you need to supply for the, to support your claim. So what's your excuse?

• 18:37Speaker 03

  And I was like, I've already spent too long on this, I'm so bored. I just thought, I just thought this would be easy to go, let us off and hopefully they'll, so I came up with an excuse. And tell me if you can remember where I got this from. I said, um, I was sneezing.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  And just in case they get snarky and review the podcast footage here too, I was. Yes, exactly. You were, you were sneezing. I was sneezing and I wrote, my wife said to me at the time, you might've gone through a red there during the sneeze. But I wasn't sure if I did and do you remember? And I was like, yeah, I think you, I think you can make a legal claim that you're not in control of your body while you're sneezing. Because at uni, we got taught it. We got. You and me. Yeah. I can't remember what class that was in, but there was some lecture where they explained that someone got off something because they said they were sneezing. Yes, and I don't remember what lecture or any of that, but we weren't in many. I've used that as a fact for the rest of my life. That was like 23 years ago and I've always told people. The only thing you retained from university.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  I always tell people that's a legal fact, you know, you're not legally responsible for yourself while you're sneezing. So you can commit micro crimes during the sneeze. At the time, we were talking about going in 7-Eleven and pocketing extra as long as we're sneezing at the.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  But what is it? I don't think that now I'm interested to know if it works. Well, then it goes upload medical records, like upload all this. Like you actually can't submit the excuse without uploading files. Yeah, right. And I was just like, no, no, that's just it. My file is my store, my, this is my excuse. You could have typed out a little letter from Zoe saying he was sneezing. So already so bored, so bored. It was just too much admin. So I took a photo, like camera right up against my jeans. It's like a black photo, which was just, just to trick the system, just to upload something. So I can send the form away. I go back two days ago. No, we don't accept. We don't, we don't accept. Were we wrong?

• 20:46Speaker 03

  I mean, we could appeal. Well, no, I'm just talking about will we wrong from university. That's what I mean. We'd have to find that lecturer and drag him in and go, he, he told us. And they'll go, well, so are you saying you were sneezing? You're just saying you thought it was an excuse? No, I was sneezing. And again, to be really clear, if they're listening to this, because at the end you have to say like, I'm not lying. It's a signed affidavit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what I'm saying. I was sneezing.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Shame it didn't work.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Hey, it's been a little while since we've done this, but they keep flooding in for a while there. We still remain it, the show that you should come to if you want to get a superior advantage in social situations through listening to power moves. Submissions keep coming in, so let's jump into it.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  Can we kick it off? Go for it, Annette. From Reese, got a power move for you.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Interesting to see if this actually would work, but sometimes. I love those ones. And remember, it's okay if it's very niche. Sometimes it might only work for one person. It's a wedding power move. Great. Mid ceremony power move. Right. When someone's getting married and they're up at the altar, wait for them to look at you and then do a fake yawn. Hopefully they catch your yawn.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  Making your making their spouse and the rest of the wedding guests think that they're uninterested in the nuptials.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  That is big money. If you can do that and and get the yeah, if you can get the groom to yawn on vid, because that's making the wedding video. That's that's huge. I love that one. Um, and a very simple one here from Mitch. Um, power me if you guys pick a target, pick a bloke that has a full head of hair. Now, he doesn't say this, but I reckon this would work well in the, let's say, thirty five to forty five year old male range. Right. When you're in a group, ask them what they would give or pay to have a full head of hair again.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  They will be left scrambling, trying to explain they still have all their hair.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  I like it. It's from Troy. Go up to a stranger and say, hi, my friend set me up for a blind date. Is it you? When they reply, no, say, thank God.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, any of you completely out of things to do in the day. Um, this comes in from Lily. Uh, it's it's sometimes we get these two, like it's it's, uh, recording of how it happened to her in the wild. Said, I just ordered a bakery item in a drive through. Um, I don't know if that's a drive through bakery or a chain that offers bakery items, perhaps like early morning. And it was given to me frozen. When I asked the cashier, what am I supposed to do with this? He just said, wait and close the window.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Time, we'll fix that.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Thanks for the frozen cross on. What a deluxe Parisian breakfast.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Again, I'm not sure if this works. This is from Sam from New Zealand. Sam Cam. G'day, boys. I had this happen to me the other day at the pub and it was effective. So, find a sports bar where there's a TV on the wall and sit underneath it. Wait until the big game is on and then to sit there watching everybody watch the TV.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Proceed to stare at everybody. It'll distract them and put them off their important match.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Mate, ballsy, the reverse watch. I think it probably would work, wouldn't it?

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, especially if you're not threatening about it.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  If I was in the cupboard and a guy sat directly under the TV that I was watching the whole day.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  You'd absolutely put your hand up to cut him out.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, it's the whole reason, you know, like butterflies have like fake eyes on their, on the back of their wings or whatever. Cause like the thought of being looked at is just off putting. People don't like being looked at. All right, quick one for Max here.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  He's, he's coming, he's coming up through the podcast. He said, brothers have just recently got me into the podcast. He's just yet to episode 100. So it will be a while till he hears himself in the pod, but Max, you've made it. And welcome. Congrats on the catch up. I guess I don't know if you're still doing power moves. Yes, we are. I think you need to hear this one. It was done to me a little while ago. It's still living in my head, rent free. I'm driving on a country highway. And this is a very simple one, Andy, but it's effective. Driving on a country highway. And a fellow youth was coming towards me. And you're like, all right, here we go. Two youth owners, maybe even the same model. You know, there's that thing. Oh, we have the same car. I go for the wave, but I get hit with a solid middle finger in return.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  Never met the bloke, but I can't stop thinking about it.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  That is such an asshole move.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Guys, I was driving along with Beck in the car and she nominated herself as car DJ. Do you guys ever get a chance to DJ in the car if your partner's in there?

• 26:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think it's just whoever the passenger is.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Really?

• 26:24Speaker 03

  And never the DJ.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  Kids overruled me.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  I was telling you before, Jack, about the playlist. I had to listen to two hours of Of that cat. Bongo Cat. Yeah. Who just sings popular songs but with meow.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh.

• 26:40Speaker 03

  Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Yeah, that's a long car ride.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  That's a long car ride.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  It's a bloody long playlist and about Well, because the cat could do every song ever made. Yeah, I think it's a program. Yeah. Half, I was sort of five or six bangers in, I went, I think, I don't think this is someone singing meow and then putting a filter over it. I think they've created like a button and you just feed the song in and it's a filter.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  It just does it.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, that's endless. But I just, I just sort of give up. I've stopped trying to fight in the car. And then if my, if Zo's in there, yeah, she's, she's the family DJ. House music, car music.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  My, my musical muscles have completely atrophied. I don't even know what I like anymore.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  I don't get a chance, really. I have like one album I listen to in, in the garage while I'm exercising and it's just one, the same playlist every single time. And the rest of the time I don't know, I don't know about any other music.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Beck will occasionally go to me, you, what have you put on? What you want, right? And I'll put it on.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  That would terrify me because I'm glad I don't know. Fine, Bongo Cat.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  And she immediately goes, no, no, no, that's not the mood for this trip. And I was like, oh, sorry. And she's like, you know, I'll put, so I put Bon Iver on. She's too droopy, too, too sad, you know, we're going to be here. And I'm like, okay, well you take over. But then on another day she puts on Bon Iver and I'm thinking, hang on, this is the same car ride. We're going down the beach and this is the mood. But anyway, she regains control very quickly. She chose to put on Natasha Beddingfield's Unwritten. Do you know that song?

• 28:21Speaker 03

  No, to be a hundred percent honest, I thought that was a news reporter.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Natasha Belling, I think you're thinking of.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  That's who I'm thinking of.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  Yes, you know this song, you know this song. It's, it was a really, really famous one back in the day. And she's chose it for radio. So she's obviously wanting like 90s soft pop bangers.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Gotcha. So this was a 90s song?

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  I do know this song.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  You know this song. Anyway, so she's gone with that one.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Just. I don't, don't say it like, yeah, I don't really know it, but I have heard it.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  You would not want to hit the hook. Anyway, we're not going to get there, Jay.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  She says it fits the mood.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  We might have time.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  I think I can play Just the Hook here. Uh.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  God, we've done.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, okay, yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  It must, all the girls outside here have just started dance. I think it must be right in that wheelhouse.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  You could have given me 10,000 shots to name the title of that song and I would not call it unwritten. Oh, there it is, it's in the song.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  All right, I'm downgrading it to 50 shots. I think by the 50th I would have gone, okay, let's just calm down, listen to the song carefully. Is there a word we're missing in here? And I would have got it within 50. But before, before I heard it.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Anyway. Moments later, because it was unwritten radio, obviously Spotify plays. Suddenly we get served Um Bop.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Right? By Hanson.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  You can see the, you could see the link.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  I said to her, to Bec, hey, should we, should we skip, should we skip Um Bop?

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Are you driving?

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm driving.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  So you can use the steering wheel control.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  I could have, but I just, I wanted to ask.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Respect the DJ.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  She said, no, I'm loving it. I said, why? She goes, I, she said, I saw them live, like last year when they came out. And they played it four times.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  I bet they did.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Which obviously that's the part where I couldn't believe it. So.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Them at the time. Yeah, that rings a bell because.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  How is that discussion going?

• 30:39Speaker 03

  It made, well, it just made me remember when we bought Frank Stallone out.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Yes. And as a joke, we made him play it four times.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  We can made him sign a contract that he's, he, he had this power ballad, Far From Over. We're like, right, you're opening with it. You're playing it in the middle, just in case the energy drags. It, you're closing with it and you're coming back out and you can do one, you can play it once or twice as your encore.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. So it was about four or five. And that would have been, I assume the pattern that the.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  And that felt ridiculous on the night, even though it was the only song we really knew of his, it felt ridiculous to play it four times.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  I reckon by the third time it was getting old and then as it came back up, it started getting funny again.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  So who do you think, do you reckon it was the band? Like, cause they, are they discussing their own set list? Or is someone coming in, like a manager coming in and going, give us a little set list?

• 31:27Speaker 03

  We just did a bit of market research. You're not going to love what's come back, but here's the ideal set list based on suggestions. And you've got to play it four times. Cause we were trying to not break through. You don't want to play it back to back. So I assume they would have gone the same. Did she tell you what order they played it in?

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I, I think they did what, I, I don't know. I didn't ask her this, but I think they did what we did, which was finish with it and then encore with it. So they would have had one back to back.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Wow. That's a lot. Four is too much.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  The funny thing is that most, most bands, like if I go and see like a Pearl Jam last year, so excited, they came out, they start with quarter. I'm like, ooh, okay. They're not, I thought they'd hold on to that one.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  But they have a lot. They have a lot up their sleeve.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  They got a lot of songs. Most bands abide by the rule that it's once and once only, don't they? So you, you're left guessing.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. They wouldn't have even played in Bob once. I wouldn't have thought of Pearl Jam.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  No. So.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  That's how good they are.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  So when you unlock.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Getting to play the song again. Yeah. That must be a strange feeling for the band.

• 32:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, because even though it's played, the audience still has an anticipation of, well, it could be played again.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  We're known for, we're known for double, triple dipping. We, we'll, we'll continue. So I'd imagine it started out with, should we play this twice? Yep. How long before someone, they loved it at the bottom? During someone went rogue, the singer went, all right, thanks, guys. Do you want it again? The band's like, oh, my God, we're doing it three times. Yeah. And then it just, they got carried away from there.

• 32:58Speaker 04

  I wonder if they've ever gone, so this was in Melbourne, obviously, and they've done it four times. Have they ever gone five or six and they've gone, that is too much?

• 33:05Speaker 03

  We did find the ceiling.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Going to a restaurant and, you know, if it's a set menu and they're like, now we know you've had the, um, chicken and sweet corn soup, but we're gonna do it again. Oh, okay, we've already had it twice. Who doesn't love chicken and sweet corn soup? I love it, but. And for dessert? No. Chicken, chicken and sweet corn soup, baby. Four soups, four of the same soup. Well, look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love this soup.

• 33:34Speaker 04

  You said you liked it.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  It's a great soup. It's the king of soups. Give it to us.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Guys, as you know, I take my role of blowing stuff, things wide open, very seriously.

• 33:52Speaker 04

  Well, you haven't blown something wide open for a long time.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  That's why I'm so take it so seriously. I won't just blow up things willy-nilly.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  Uh, I don't know if you've seen me serious about something, you're into it all the time. When was the last time you think you blew something wide open?

• 34:03Speaker 03

  No, I think it's different. I think if you're so serious about something, that, you might be thinking, if you are frivolous about something.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  No, no, no, I'm thinking if you were seriously into it, I'm seriously into golf. I play golf all the time.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  All the time.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  You don't go, I'm seriously into golf. When was your last round?

• 34:17Speaker 03

  I wait.

• 34:18Speaker 04

  Three years ago.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  I make sure conditions are correct. I can see your point. I can see your point.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  But I had a case come across my table. This is from Tom Rodman. And it's not quite a blow something wide open.

• 34:31Speaker 04

  There's no way he's got the opener ready, by the way.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  I don't even know. Jack goes doing anything for this bit and I said, no. So I actually wasn't quite paying attention when he asked.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I asked three times.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  But you know what? Because we don't know. I don't have it. I don't want it. We

• 34:51Speaker 03

  we don't know if we're buying something open yet. Okay. So this is a, this is how seriously I take it. Okay. This is a possible pre-blow scenario. It's a theory that's floating around that I want us to test today. Yep. So this just comes in from Tom Robby goes, oh, I thought I should take a look at this, test if it's true or not. Diabolical if true. And just a link to a Reddit thing. This has been going around, I see on Reddit for a week or two now. So people might have seen this around. It's a theory about the beloved Doritos corn chip, but salsa sauce. So more of the Doritos sauce. Okay.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  The theory is that obviously, much like many of the other big hitters in the salsa category, your old El Paso, et cetera. They have both a mild, medium and a hot offering. Well, Jack, Jack said that once about Old El Paso. Old El Paso, and I was talking about the sachets of taco mix. I didn't think that they had a three heat taco mix. And eventually they did bring one out. Do you know why? I think it was because of this podcast. It's because of you. We did a lot of, we've covered Old El Paso very heavily in the past and they've held up the scrutiny. But I'm talking about the salsa in the jar. Now, Old El Paso use the same system as Doritos. Don't know what came with it first. Green for mild, yellow for medium, red for hot. Okay.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  There are, you know, you can get some extra hots, but we're talking about the main three here, the traffic light system. Yeah. Basically, no problems, some problems, all problems. Okay. So the theory on Reddit is going around that medium salsa, for people that love very spicy, that medium salsa is hotter than hot. And of course, no one notices because if you enjoy hot, you only buy hot. Yeah. You never go, oh, I better just get the other two to, to, to gauge it. You wouldn't know that it's hiding in plain sight right next to the hot. Anyway, a couple of other people have jumped on and gone, I've tasted this before.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I have noticed. I thought the only way to handle this properly is to do the experiment. That's why I've got this silver briefcase here. Ah, well done. Thank you. See, some of us can be organised, Mr. No Opener.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  I just wouldn't have been shocked if he said, so, so next week on the show, why don't we get some seltzers in? Inside we have, and I tell you what, and this killed me, but I've gone original salted Doritos. I think you have to. You have to because you're tasting salsa. Do you know how difficult it was? To not get like double cheese, nacho cheese. Or even if I'm being honest, and again, hashtag not spawn, the mission nacho cheese. That's unbelievable. Anyway, gone, we've gone plain, um, to do the right thing. Yep. I think the best way to do this is. Are CCs still a thing? CCs, yeah. Yeah, CCs is still there. Yep. So you can say no to them. You didn't mention them in your list of. I easily said no, so walked straight past them.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  I could have, I probably should have got a different brand of corn chip to show that we're bipartisan on the show. We're not just trying to make this a Doritos promotion. And, and, and this could come out looking terrible for Doritos too. So I think the best way to do this, having just thought about it now. Even though you bought the whole cake.

• 38:15Speaker 03

  Be honest. Your big reveal. I'll be honest. I'm standing above everybody else to say how organised and ready you were. All fair. I had got so proud of myself for bringing this stuff in and quite thought through then how we do the next bit, the experiment. Shouldn't be difficult though. I think like a communion, I think you step forward. All right. Give you the chip. Received the chip and they'll, they'll obviously be three, but I'll mix up the order and you tell me. Oh, okay. So we're not just going to take one and go, that's. I think it has to be blind, doesn't it? Okay, that's interesting. Sorry, just scientifically, I think it has to be blind because otherwise you could be influenced. Yep. So do we need the most mild one there? What do we need the most mild one? Shouldn't we just do medium and hot? Yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Don't start eating it. Don't start eating it. This is gonna be.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  I'll have mild. You just like mild. Come on. What does that prove about the test? I don't know. It just doesn't all have to be fine. Some of it can be enjoyable. Okay. So we're gonna, you're gonna put. You're right. You're right. We didn't need mild.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Well, don't know. I put it. I'm opening red. From now on, you're just the lab rat. Enough feedback.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  So, are you opening the hot one?

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Yes, but you won't know what it is when you come and eat it.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  So I'll do it in, I'll do it in an order. But you won't know the order.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  You sure you don't want mild in the middle to cleanse the palate?

• 39:43Speaker 02

  No, we should take a glass of water to cleanse the palate before.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Sure, also a good idea.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  So am I stepping forward?

• 39:51Speaker 03

  Yes, and that's why I'm gonna put the salsa here. It's obscured from view.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  It is, it's working well. You've, you've got it behind your big silver briefcase.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  The salsas are inside the briefcase.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  You'll reach in, you'll get a chip. I'll walk forward to you.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  You just stand over here so you never see. And Jack, don't, try not to see.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  What side I'm doing.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. Hamish is now going in. Looks like he's applying salsa to a chip. Am I gonna receive two chips or one?

• 40:16Speaker 03

  First, this is your first chip. There you go. Please enjoy.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  He's eating. And is he having a guess now or is he just thinking until this?

• 40:25Speaker 03

  I'll do this first, so we've got the sound effect.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Okay, so I've had either the hot or the medium.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Let me have a quick swig of water.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  Yep, great.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  I almost forgot which one I'd given him. No, but I have remembered. This is the other one.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  That one's slightly hotter.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Okay, Jack, we'd better get you as well. You go around Andy's side.

• 41:04Speaker 04

  Do you need to write down the results or are you happy?

• 41:06Speaker 03

  I can remember one thing.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  I'll just have a quick medium.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Okay, Jack.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Hamish has reached in for chip.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  You know, the, um, the corn chips that we get at our house are like a, eh, not a famous brand, but like a supermarket does their own brand and they're actually circular chips. And I just realised, it's, Bianca's been buying them, but probably why I like them is no corners, like on a Dorito.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Oh, you worried about the sharpness?

• 41:36Speaker 04

  Like a table run.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Careful.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  Okay, that's the control.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  That's either medium or hot.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  Yep, yep. May I have some of this water?

• 41:46Speaker 03

  You may. Careful, careful, the

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Hamish

• 41:51Speaker 03

  price isn't too sharp.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Have you got the other one ready?

• 41:53Speaker 03

  This is the other one.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Same order as me?

• 41:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  Or maybe.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  Second one is hotter. The second one I ate was hotter.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Jack.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  You said hot was the hottest.

• 42:15Speaker 03

  In accordance with Doritos brand marketing.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Andy, you said medium was the hottest.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  Really? Interesting.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Giving us inconclusive, yet interesting.

• 42:27Speaker 04

  Yep. Did you see, did you feel it was like definitely different? Only a tiny, tiny little bit hotter. Is that, are you eating another mild or are you?

• 42:40Speaker 04

  So is the experiment over? I guess, I guess we're not.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  No, no, that, when I said before inconclusive but interesting, that was it. Like, that's why I said it's sort of in a bold voice.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  Bold, was it?

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Inconclusive, but interesting. That's why we're not blowing it wide open.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  Full stop. No more to be said.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Well, interesting. You've, they're very close to each other.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  I'll make the medium one second, did I?

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. They're probably too close to each other.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  I know, close. I was actually about to say the first one I ate was hotter and then just as I left it a couple more seconds in my mouth, it got spicier.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Hmm. So this, if our feedback is anything, it's like, guys, you've got.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Make a bigger difference.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  You've got three models here, like one, you've got three cars. One goes zero kilometers an hour and your other two models have top speeds of 195 and 200. So could you do a middle car?

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yep, that's it. Having said that, the zero is delicious.