Joanne McNally on her Dating Disasters | GREAT MOMENTS

Modern dating is… a lot. Between situationships, ghosting, and the apps that feel more like a second job, finding anything close to a healthy relationship has never been more complicated. But on the bright side? It does make for some incredible stories. Joanne McNally is one of the funniest people I know. She made history as the first Irish female comic to headline Dublin’s 3Arena and soon she’ll be bringing her brilliant chaos to Celebrity Traitors. In this Great Moment, Joanne takes us deep into her hilariously chaotic dating life from the disasters to those awkward pillow talk moments. Because sometimes the only way to survive the dating world is to laugh your way through it. Listen to the full episode HERE https://open.spotify.com/episode/31YV25zosYWteke60ZJ4PA?si=2708202e93bb4551! If you enjoyed the show, you can also follow us: Instagram- @greatcompanypodcast https://www.instagram.com/greatcompanypodcast/# TikTok - @greatcompanypodcast https://open.acast.com/networks/611e511b4ec6dc00134bced2/shows/65d737dfdc02e00016c413b2/episodes/www.tiktok.com/@greatcompanypodcast And if you've got thoughts, questions and comments, you can email us at: [email protected] mailto:[email protected] THE CREDITS Producer: Helen Burke Assistant Producer: Issy Weeks-Hankins Video: Jake Ji Social Media: Laura Coughlan Exec Producer: Ewan Newbigging-Lister & Jemima Rathbone Great Company is an original podcast from JamPot Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Hello everyone, I'm Jamie Laing and this is Great Moments.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Hello everyone, this is Great Moments, where I share some of my favourite moments from my conversations on great company. Something that's made me think, made me laugh, or changed my perspective, and hopefully, hopefully there's something in it for you too. So are you ready? Let's get into it.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  When's the worst breakup you ever had?

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Well, to be fair, I've had loads.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Really?

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I'm, I'm, I'm very like, when I'm in, I'm in. Not anymore, now I'm quite out.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  Do you do the dumping, or can you get dumped?

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I can get dumped. It's quite a skill.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Really?

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, I can get really dumped, yeah.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  No.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Oh yeah.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Do you see it coming?

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  Oh boy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  I'm never one of those women who's like, I came out of nowhere. One, one did, one came out of nowhere, but like, I wasn't that into him. It was more a relief, because when I was sick and I had these string of men, when they break up me, because it was like three months in, the button, they were like, oh, she's, she's mad. Do you know what I mean? Like, you can get away with it, for three, three months down, you're like, you're staying over, you have to eat dinner, like it's suddenly-

• 1:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can keep it together.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, three months in, they're all like, they're out, like, you could literally set your watch by it.

• 1:21Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, and, but it was like a release. I was like, oh, granted, just go back to me, sort of, now full time, thanks. You were kind of holding the whole thing up, to be honest. You were in the way of my weight loss journey. Thank you. Yeah, but no, I have, I used to, like, I remember my first breakup, oh my god. I'll never forget the pain of it.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  It's the worst.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Oh my god. I, I remember breaking up with a guy, um, when I was 10 years of age, and-

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Get out of here, Joanne.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  I swear to god, I'm gaming, I've been gaming a long time, Jamie. I was an early starter. I loved boys, I was boy mad.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  But you can't be 10 and be broken out of it.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Do you remember the song, "I swear by the moon and the-"

• 2:05Speaker 00

  My god, pipes, I know.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  I know, because I've listened to it 60 billion times, crying, holding his, um, not nunchucks, dog tags. Which I'd engraved our names in myself with a compass. He didn't even, he didn't even know I had his nunchucks, not nunchucks, curl tags, dog tags.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Nunchucks!

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Just self flagellating myself, just hitting my own back. Why did he leave? It's your fault. But then I remember my first serious breakup when I was, I don't know, it must have been my twenties, I'd say.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  And I, like, obviously, because your first serious relationship, like, I guess this is me now, we're gonna just get married and have kids. Which is hilarious in hindsight, you know? Like, I, I've girls coming to my shows now and they're in their early twenties and I'm like, are you gonna marry him? She's like, yeah. And I was like, I'm, I.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Just don't think you are.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Oh, fucking, you know what I mean? You need to speak to Angela. You're not, this is, you're too fucking young for this shit. But I was so devastated. Oh my god, I remember, I like, got a train out to his house. I tried, I tried to doorstep him, basically. And his mum was like, he's not here. And I ended up going in, sitting and waiting for, I remember, I remember I rang, so I rang, I went, I was heartbroken. And I was like, I just need to see him, he just needs to see me and then everything will be fine. Like, I was quite a needy girlfriend and got the train out to his house. He was living with his mum at the time, we were only, like, young. And his mum was like, he's not here. And she could see that I just wasn't gonna go anywhere and she's like, do you wanna come in and wait for him? I said, yeah. So, and he wasn't answering my calls, I was ringing him off my little pink flip phone.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  And she said, you wanna ring him off the landline? And my eyes lit up because I was like, well, he's never gonna know that's me. Yeah, I'll ring him. So he answers his mo-, what he thinks is his mother.

• 3:48Speaker 00

  Come on, come on.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Hiya, it's me.

• 3:53Speaker 00

  I murdered your mum.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Your mum's dropped to a radiator, if you don't come home in the next 10 minutes, I've got a specific set of skills.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  That is so nuts. You took a bus to the mum's.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Took a train, I got the dirt, yeah. He lived in Shankill at the time.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  You took a train to the mum's house to fuck mum.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  But that was just a bonus that she let me do that. I could never have anticipated I'd get a hotline straight to his mobile. But I remember sitting on the dark on it. So you know when you're broken, you know when you're heartbroken and it's like, like, I've learnt a lot. Like, I, I fall, I used to say, like, I don't fall in love, I fall insane. When I'm in love, I'm, I'm so, I have these very, like.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  It's deep, deep, deep, deep.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, these very intense relationships where it's like the worst of times and the best of times and you're breaking up all the time. It's always that kind of, never anything, like, no, regular.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  Is it because it's the type of person you go for or what?

• 4:50Speaker 01

  I'd say it's, it's a bit of me and a bit of them. It's always, you can't, you can't remove yourself from all accountability. I know myself that it's probably that dopamine thing, you know, that kind of ADHD brain vibe. It's like the.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  Because you chase that.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  The highs.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  And the drama. And also when something's still, it feels boring.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 5:08Speaker 00

  And so you want it to be, feel exciting the whole time.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  It's kind of juvenile way of going about things as well. I, I hope that I don't behave like that anymore. I've had some very boring relationships since, so hopefully that's a good sign that I've evolved. Bored off my tits. This must be what it's like. Um, but I remember sitting on the dark, going out to his house and feeling like at peace because I was going to see him. So it's, they say it's like a drug and you've just gone, your drug's just been ripped off you. It's cold turkey.

• 5:35Speaker 00

  So you felt calm that you knew you were going there?

• 5:37Speaker 01

  I was there grinning like an absolute fruit loop on the terrain. I'm, I never remember. I was in a lawn style top and a denim skirt and my, my furry boots.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Do you think there's a.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  He didn't, it didn't, didn't, didn't work out. Would you believe that? Can you believe I didn't marry that man? Not shocking. Not mad.

• 5:56Speaker 00

  Do, do you, um, would you like to get married?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  No.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Really?

• 6:00Speaker 01

  I wouldn't. So if I met someone tomorrow and I was, again, mad about them, because I do have it in me.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  I've, I do have it in me to go, to go mad, to get mad about them. And I think I've hardened up in the last couple of years. I don't think I'm the way I was. Like, I think it's, I'm, I'm more, for men, I'm way more.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  I'm not, I don't fall the way I used to fall as often as I used to fall.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  But you know, I think you're quite tough.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  I am quite tough.

• 6:29Speaker 00

  You are tough.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Until I'm three rides and I'm like, would you love me if I was a worm? But like at the start, I'm very tough. I'm too tough, actually.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  I've kind of hardened up a bit too much. I think with the job as well, the job became, I realised pretty, pretty quickly. The job is a bit of a cock block, really.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  Why? Because you have to be married to it?

• 6:47Speaker 01

  No, that man, no man, no man is gonna walk out of my show and be like, I'll slip into her DMs.

• 6:53Speaker 00

  I disagree.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  You're a different beast.

• 6:56Speaker 00

  I disagree.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I think because we know each other and also you, you kind of dabbled in a bit of comedy at one point, but like.

• 7:03Speaker 00

  Man, I.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  The average person, I was, I was doing a show in Plymouth recently and there was three straight men in the front row and the whole show, I was like, why the fuck are they there? And then after I was like, maybe one of them fancied me from like a TV show or something and he came and I was like, and I was saying it to my tour manager and she was like, oh, why didn't you see? And I was like, no, no, no, because I am, I know now he will leave cured. There's not, he's not gonna be like, he'll be leaving now and be like, ah, you're grand, I'm not taking that on. Even Vogue, Vogue, our mutual friend, she was, she was trying to set me up with someone before and he asked my Instagram and she's like, no. No, you're not having it. And I was like, why? And she goes, you're hostile, you're hostile.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  But I think the job has kind of toughened me up and I think there's a certain amount of resilience required and I feel like I'm very independent now and I'm financially independent and I, I'm not willing to like.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  You don't need, you, you only need it for, for the actual, which is love. That's, you don't need it for.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  I need it for love.

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Financial support, anything you don't, you're fine.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  I'm my own, my own little beast now, but I would, and also like,

• 8:06Speaker 01

  I've actually, do you know what? I, I went, I actually downloaded a dating app last night for the first time in, I don't know how long.

• 8:12Speaker 00

  Tom, which one was it?

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Hinge. And then five minutes in, I was like, ugh.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  I was like, Joanne, this is not the energy to bring to Hinge. You've rolled your eyes nineteen times, you've been on it thirty seconds.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  I also think with, there's a, there's a weird thing which the question is always asked women, always. It's always about kids and I don't know why they always ask that.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  I know.

• 8:39Speaker 00

  And women get to a certain age and it's like, well, wouldn't you wanna have them?

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd love to have kids.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  You would like to have kids?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd love to have kids. I might adopt kids. I might just pay it back. Yeah. But like, my problem is, I forget, like, I'm forty-two and like, life just sneaks up on you. And because it didn't happen for me with a man, because I think, I'm, I'm way more self-aware now and I realise now, I was never gonna be the type of, I just was never gonna be the person who got married at twenty-five. That was just never what I was gonna do.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  And now I've gotten to forty-two, um, I, I think I, I call myself a little problematically independent at this point. So, the kids thing, I assume it'll be something I'll probably do on my own. Or my friend Ross, he's gay, we were trying to maybe something, we'd kind of genetically collab.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Really?

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Maybe, yeah. But like, then I'm like, I'm, I'm fully, I'm, I'm touring until next Christmas, so.

• 9:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, and there's a tricky thing, which especially with being a comedian, it's like.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Where do you put the baby?

• 9:38Speaker 00

  Out of any job, I think that's the hardest, because the way you make your living is touring, you have to go around the country and meet different people. So then where do you put the baby?

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Well, then you have to prioritize, that's the thing. It's like, well, if you're gonna do it, you need to prioritize putting time aside to raise the baby, Joanne. You can't just have the baby and pick it up when it's eighteen.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  But you're not in a relationship?

• 9:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  Hence the download of the dating apps.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  What is your type, for anyone listening?

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Ooh, great question. Um.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  You need funny?

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm, the la, it's criminal, criminal isn't.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Criminal record.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  But it seems to be.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  A little bit of time, somewhere along the line, seems to be a thing for me. White collar, it's always white collar, which barely counts, you know? Maybe an old addiction issue, but they've recovered, but they're probably, you know, maybe one sausage away from a relapse kind of vibe. Any, I, I stay away from spiritual vegans now because I always be like, they're trying to hold a lot of shit behind them, do you know what I mean?

• 10:39Speaker 00

  But you like a little bit of trauma?

• 10:40Speaker 01

  I seem to, yes.

• 10:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, there seems to be, that seems to be my jam, yeah. Where are your wounds? Yeah, let's rub wounds together, yeah. I actually think for the moment, I'm actually, I, I would, my concern for myself would be that I'd close down shop completely. Because I am quite content and you have to be open.

• 11:02Speaker 00

  What, so no sex forever?

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Well, no, I'd have sex, yeah, I'm willing.

• 11:07Speaker 00

  You're willing to have sex?

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, to let a man have sex with me, yes, yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  I am willing, yeah. I leave my doors open every Saturday afternoon between two and three and deliver drivers. I'm like, come on in, I'm not going to give you the code.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  I'll give you the code after, come on, I'll tip you.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  I interviewed Lou Saunders. Lou Saunders, the funniest thing she ever told me, she said she once had a one night stand with a guy and he, he didn't take his anorak off the whole time.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  He just wore his jacket.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Oh my God, that is, that is so lazy, like, talk about, just get a wank sleeve, why am I even here? I know one, one of my mates, um, wrote a lot, he kept his hat on the whole time, but I was like.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  What, like a troupeie?

• 11:53Speaker 01

  No, like. That'd be hot, that's very Justin Timberlake, isn't it?

• 11:59Speaker 01

  And just one white glove.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  He kept his hat on, I was like, yeah, because he's bald. She was like, oh, I was like, oh, come on, it's classic 101.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Have you ever had a strange one night stand?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  I mean, they're all strange. I remember one guy, I went on a date with them and I was, again, I was in the aftermath of a breakup.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  And I fancied this guy and it was probably the first guy I fancied after the last guy. And you know, when you've kind of broken through that wall, you're like, oh, amazing. And I just moved to London and I was like, gonna, you know, I'm gonna be like Carrie Bradshaw. Well, you know, living my London life and I'm just gonna date and, because I was never particularly promiscuous. I was very much like, I'm not giving you.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  This.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  My flower. Yeah. I'm just gonna ruin it. Tell your mates that you took it. I was always like that. So, but I was like, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna like, you know, I'm gonna be, gonna have that like really promiscuous stage ever. But I'm, I don't think I'm really equipped for that. But anyway, I went to the date with this guy and I really fancied him and I was like, thank God. So I was like, I'll go home with you. And he was like, oh, okay. So I was sitting in the black cab with him because I just assumed all men wanted to go home with him. I never thought that he didn't. Never crossed my mind. And I was sitting in the taxi and, but then I realised his, his attitude toward. I was like, oh, you're, you're like a little, you're a little sexist, actually. Because he was like, well, look, I'm assuming you don't do this a lot. And I was like, oh.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  What?

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. He was judging me for going home with him.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  Are you, what?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, Jamie, come on now. Let's not be surprised.

• 13:37Speaker 00

  I am surprised by that.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  And I think I, in my heightened state of like my new London life and I fancy someone was like, this is really this man to be absolutely. And of course, he was like, I'm obviously gonna have sex with you, but I'm, I'm, I'm just hoping this isn't like how you normally behave.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  So you then have a weird like argument in like the taxi.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  I just remember it very clearly that stuck in my mind. And I was like, oh, he's judging me. Followed through anyway, obviously, because I was like, I'm new to London. I don't know where I live.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Having a clue, what's your blind man, I'm stuck in this taxi now. And I went back and the next morning.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Was ice cold.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  What?

• 14:18Speaker 01

  I mean, had his back to me and I remember saying to him, he was on his phone and I went, are you back on hinge? I said, he on hinge. Anyway, no matter what else. And I was like, I was taking the piss. And then I obviously hadn't a clue where I was. So I said, listen, I don't know where I am. And he told me I was in like wherever, you know, there's like Woolfordshire or something. And um, he said, I said, can I, I said, is there a train station nearby? And he goes, yeah, stay on the road. And I said, do you drive? And he said, yeah.

• 14:46Speaker 00

  No.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  And he looked at me like as in I was gonna do something really cheeky. And he goes, I'm not, Joanne, I'm not giving you a lift. And I said, um, oh, okay. And he said, I said, why? Just out of interest. He goes, because that would be, oh, no, I forgot. An unprecedented act of chivalry. And I just don't think I feel that way about you yet.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Welcome to London, Joanne.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  It's wrong.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  And I started laughing. And he's like, what's so funny? Because I was like, ah, you're like, you're.

• 15:14Speaker 00

  You're too much.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is ridiculous. So I was like, I'm gonna go now. And he's like, oh, why are you being like that? And I was like, I.

• 15:20Speaker 00

  You.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. I was like, I know you're grand. Yes, that's the end of it. I thought I was like giving this gift to this man. Me, for 12 hours. You lucky bastard. Yeah. But a man are like, I call the ejaculate hate.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Explain.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  They ejaculate, they hate.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  Really?

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Ah, come on now, Jamie. I can see it in your eyes. You know exactly what I mean. They get what they want. Not all of them now, not all men, hashtag blah blah blah. But like, there's a pursuit there. And there is that post no clarity of like, oh, you're still here. Don't rob anything on your way out. You're like, wow, you were all over me last night. Yeah.

• 15:57Speaker 00

  That post not clarity.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. The ejaculate.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  When you put your body in the hands of a surgeon, you assume your doctor will do you no harm.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  I'm looking at the surgery board for tomorrow. These people are [BLEEP].

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Crooked doctors have launched their most ambitious fraud yet, worth over $1 billion.

• 16:35Speaker 04

  One doctor says, "My kickback was $25,000." And the other doctor's going, "Well, I only got $12,000."

• 16:41Speaker 02

  From Sony Music Entertainment and Western Sound, this is Dr. Billions. Search for Dr. Billions wherever you get your podcasts and start listening today.

• 16:50Speaker 05

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