How to Alchemize Wounds Into Wisdom | Rupda

From abandoned child to internationally renowned trauma expert, Rupda shares her transformative journey of resilience and healing. Learn powerful practices for self-belonging, embodying trust, and creating authentic community that allow you to break free from limitations and live your most fully-realized life. Rupda's inspiring story and nurturing presence are a soul-stirring reminder of your infinite capacity for growth. You can find Rupda at: Website https://www.rupda.com/ | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rupda_com/ | Episode Transcript https://www.goodlifeproject.com/podcast/resilience-authenticity-transformation-rupda If you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Bessel van der Kolk https://episodes.fm/647826736/episode/NjczMjUzZWQ5YzNjYzI1Y2RhMmE5M2Ez about healing trauma through the body. Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the Wheel https://jonathanfields.substack.com/aboutVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes https://www.goodlifeproject.com/sponsors/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jonathan Fields?

  So have you ever felt like you didn't truly belong in your family, your community, maybe even within yourself? Like, there was this elusive sense of home that just always seemed out of reach? My guest today knows that feeling intimately, having experienced profound abandonment and trauma in her earliest years. Yet, Rupda's story is one of breathtaking resilience and transformation. So imagine carrying the weight of a childhood marked by instability, violence, and a desperate search for safety. Now picture finding solace and spiritual connection in a Buddhist monastery at a young age, building community and safety and resilience, only to have that beautiful world shattered yet again, and be left to rebuild your world and your life from the

• 0:43Jonathan Fields?

  ashes of everything you thought was real and true. What forces of courage and determination would it take to emerge from the depths of disconnection and rediscover your truth when you feel like everything has been taken away again and again? In this deeply moving conversation, my guest, Rupda, shares her remarkable journey from abandoned child to internationally recognized trauma expert and guide for those seeking healing. And you'll learn her most powerful practices for cultivating self-belonging, embodying trust even when it feels impossible, and creating communities of radical authenticity. Rupda is living proof that true freedom arises only when we reconnect with the core of who we are. As an expert and trained facilitator and somatic, experiencing trauma therapy and

• 1:25Jonathan Fields?

  leadership development, her just joyful presence is creates this nurturing space for profound personal growth and transformation. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project.

• 1:44Speaker 01

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• 2:17Jonathan Fields?

  Good Life Project is sponsored by Stio. So I am not in the studio today. I'm actually out on the trail and the Rockies at about 6,000 feet above sea level and boulder. The leaves are exploding with color and it's just stunning out. And yes, I'm wearing my favorite Stio hat. And just last night I was wearing one of my favorite Stio jackets, which if you know me is not unusual. I wear the hat almost every day and my Stio jackets pretty much live on me all fall and winter. There's even a Stio shop back in town practically in my backyard. Here is why I love them. Stio is designed and tested in Jackson Hole at the base of the Tetons by locals who ski and bike and hike and climb and fish there pretty much every day. They have been at it since 2011, so they know warmth and they also know style.

• 3:01Jonathan Fields?

  Everything I have from them, it works great. It holds up in every condition and also looks awesome. And their hometown down is 800 Phil Down, but it feels more like just your favorite hoodie than a puffy. And ski season is almost here, so gear up now the way that the locals do. Go to stio.com/goodlife for 20% off your order. That's S-T-I-O dot com slash good life. Stio.com slash good life. Stio, designed and tested in Jackson Hole. Good Life Project is supported by Ernesta rugs. So a small confession, our front porch has been the most neglected corner of our home since we moved in. It's the first thing anyone steps onto and it's been kind of greeting people with a sad, too small mat.

• 3:43Jonathan Fields?

  Ernesta sent me their samples and now they're making us a rug. And the cool thing is for $10, you get five oversized 12 by 12 samples. So you see the colors at real scale in your own space before you even get it. So we lived with all five colors for a few days and cool morning light and golden afternoon light. And we're sure to be ross on the sky, but Caldwell just kind of kept quietly winning. The thing you're certain about isn't always the thing that fits. And because Ernesta rugs are custom size, cut to the ins, the one we ordered is made to our exact six and a half feet by nine feet space, not close enough. Visit ernesta.com and order five samples for only $10 and you'll get $50 toward any rug of your choice. That's E-R-N-E-S-T-A dot com.

• 4:30Jonathan Fields?

  My curiosity in wanting to just spend some time in conversation with you, actually, I heard you on the Coaches Rising podcast. There was just this beautiful, generous, kind and wise energy that made me want to know more. So that was the genesis of us reaching out to you. So I appreciate you making time to do it. You know, I think an interesting starting point for us and for our community is really to take a big step back in time. Your early life was filled with, from the outside looking in, what I would call extremes. And as you've shared many times, you also, you were nonverbal for the first chunk of years of your life. Take me into young Rupda's world.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  The journey in how I came into this world was pretty brutal. I can really acknowledge that now, Jonathan. It's taken me some time. And of course, much of the work we do as therapists and facilitators and coaches is that realization in our own kind of past and what we've discovered in that. And also, meeting it maybe from a different perspective, obviously. Because my mother was, you know, she doesn't really speak a lot about it, but because she was homeless at the time she had me, and she was a teenage mom, at that time in the 60s, you just didn't have a kid out of wedlock. So she got rid of this kid at birth.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  And I didn't really think much about it until I started doing trauma work with it, especially supporting people in it. And I started to realize, wow, there's something there, of course. And lucky in a way for me, for nine months, nobody came and adopted me. I got to go back to my mother when she realized that she wanted to keep me. Actually, she had to go get married, you know? And in the 60s, this is what you do. And then I think it was around one and a half, two, when she was in London and had a, someone had... Robbed her and money passport, the whole thing. And because she was in a city that she didn't know and, you know, she wasn't accustomed to the place and also snow, she had a breakdown. It was too much for a teenage mom.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  And so in England, they have a thing called social services. And so they came and they took me away. And so again, for six months I was taken away. Now, I don't have any recollection of this, but I have seen some photos, you know, and that's about all I can say of it. You know, there's a lot to be said in how we store and, you know, of course it goes and go generational.

• 6:59Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah. Can I pause for a second here? I do want to hear the rest of the story. I'm curious, you shared, just shared, you have no recollection of it, but you've seen photos of, I'm assuming you during that time. When you look back now with, you know, like your eyes to those images of you in that moment, what happens? What comes up? What do you notice?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  It's funny, no one actually asked me that question. And it's something I decided to put on my phone for the first time. Because that's exactly the little one that I'm taking care of. And of course, there's a lot we can dig in that in regards to how much wounding we have around there. Now I can look at her and there's so much love. I've, I've rejected that part for so many years. There's so much love and compassion and tenderness and just wanting to hold her and soothe her and tell her everything's going to be all right. When I did used to look at her, it was when I didn't really have that understanding in me, there was kind of a numbness, almost like a disassociation to it. A disconnect and I've, obviously that's probably the way I dealt with it in order

• 8:05Speaker 02

  to, you know, not have to face the, the pain of what she was going through. You know, when I look at that. Now the, of course it's changed for me because now I can, I've moved through that pain in, in many degrees and I can really hold her and say, I'm here. Yeah, I'm not going to abandon you. I'm here.

• 8:23Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm. It's beautiful. Take me back into the story.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Yes, thank you. From that, when my mother got me back at social services. Till age five, I saw things that were very, very violent. And this is part of why I was nonverbal. Because what I saw was probably not good, I'm not gonna say on the, I don't wanna shock your listeners. Which was so violent that I saw was happening to the one person that was my caretaker, my mother. And I was powerless to do anything. And then things happened, you know, in, in both directions. So I can look at it now and realize it was absolute shutdown and disconnect. And social services came in again when I was five.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  And they had been hearing complaints about what was happening in the sixteenth floor of that building. And it was a very upper class building, you know, there, there was well to do and. But people knew that there was a little child in there and something was not right. And I'll, I'll leave it there cause it's quite heavy. But what happened then is the moment my mom, my mom took me to a very beautiful boarding school, private boarding school in Oxford. And the moment she left me there, that's the moment when I saw her driving away. And that's the memory I have.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  And I remember her waving through the back of the car window and crying and the headmaster was holding me. And all I could think of is what I had done wrong. And the imprint, of course, is I'm damaged or I'm not lovable or I'm not enough. And she didn't really know better. It's kind of the, in England, it's very common to send your kid to boarding school, especially my age, Jen. So she didn't think about the boarding school. She knew it was this private boarding school, it was bespoke, but all the kids were ten years and older. And I was five years and I was nonverbal. So I was in the hospital multiple times with stitches on my head. And other things happened, we don't need to go there. But the long, short of it was the first seven years were really intense.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Of this feeling of being not wanted. I think that was the biggest one that really stayed with me. And that was the piece that I had to do a lot of work around and reflection on. And it showed up, of course, in different kinds of relating, you know? Can I really take my space? And do I have a right to be here? So lucky for me, Jonathan, that my mother, this was, you know, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley on the radio. It was like mid seventies, all this stuff was going on. Lucky for me, my mother took to that and we ended up going to the Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Scotland. Still there today called Semiling. And in that moment, a seven year old child who's not speaking is observing.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  And because they didn't speak my language, it was a perfect way to connect in the nonverbal, in the unknown. And also what was happening was there was a lot of connection and there was a lot of compassion. Buddhists are that way by nature. They're so soft and peaceful and playful and didn't matter if we knew the words or not. And in that moment, I linked feeling safe with spirituality.

• 11:34Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  And I don't think I knew it then, but that's what was happening. Because from that moment on, I turned to my mom and that was my journey. And I went to meditate every morning, five, six in the morning by myself with the monks every morning. And she would stay sleeping in bed and I was determined to continue. And then I met another teacher who was very controversial and famous around the world when I was a kid, when I was nine. And I said to my mom again, I want to go be with this teacher and meditate and be in the workshops and be in the field of, you know? At that time, it was spiritual development and I didn't really know how to put a name on it. But I just knew that this was safe place and was my place. Yeah.

• 12:18Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm. When you arrive in this spiritual center and you you immediately start to feel this sense of like being able to exhale. It sounds like, oh, there's something here. You describe how, you know, you weren't speaking up until then. Um, and that in this environment, in the early days, there was a comfort even in that. Because almost it sounds like what you're describing is there wasn't an expectation that you would. Which in a way kind of took the pressure off. Does that land?

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, there wasn't. There was so much going on in the Tibetan Buddhist commune was very different than the next commune I went to, which was more radical in the spiritual sort of time of the mid seventies. But I really felt like I belonged, which is a big piece, as you can imagine. I found my place and as deep as and as much as I love my mother,

• 13:10Speaker 02

  I felt like whatever the Rupda Nus was starting to kind of her realization of herself, I found my place, my home. Yeah, and I and I felt embraced in that because there was no right way to doing spirituality in this beautiful community I was in. So I could be me and at the end I ended up becoming Rupda the Rebel as a little kid, you know, which was the complete other extreme, right?

• 13:35Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah, the pendulum swings as it often does. I mean, looking back, how do you understand those silent years now or the silence in those years now?

• 13:46Speaker 02

  I mean, I know it had to do with not feeling safe and that unpredictability. And it was probably my my only way of staying alive at that time. Now I look at silence and turning in in a very different perspective. But then it was completely a different kind of way of dealing with shock.

• 14:15Jonathan Fields?

  Do you recall when something, a switch in your brain flipped? And something inside of you said, it's time, I'm OK actually sharing my voice?

• 14:30Speaker 02

  When I started sleeping in that Tibetan monastery. I didn't know what dialogue was opening up inside of me. And I felt like I was talking to something that was really had my back all of a sudden. Because that deep feeling, that somatic feeling of I am home, I am safe, created such an exhalation inside of me. And the registration was so strong in my body. Because the contrast was so large that it was so pivotal. And it opened up such a big dialogue inside of me of who am I? And this inquiry to, I don't know what you want to call it. We've called it a thousand names, yeah? That that feeling that where it's something held by something much bigger.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  And I, that dialogue opened, it was very heart to heart. And I felt from that moment and still to this day, that no matter if I'm homeless again, I will be okay. And it's such deeply, deeply, deeply entrenched in me. And I have been in rocky moments and I have felt like, wow, how am I going to get through this one? And that voice or that guidance or whatever one wants to call it is there holding me. And I feel like, um, like a best friend is there, you know? And the words are keep trusting, everything's going to be okay.

• 15:45Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm, hmm. I mean, it's interesting how you share also that from that young age, you began to equate, maybe not consciously, but just to thoroughly integrate this sense that spirituality is a part of safety, which is a part of okayness. And how unusual to have that experience. I was going to say at such a young age, but I think the truth is that very few people have it ever. And granted, there's a lot of mixed feelings about spirituality, however people might define it these days. And you know, like a sense of relatedness to particular organized religions or paths, which they may either embrace or reject.

• 16:25Jonathan Fields?

  But for you, it's interesting to hear that at such a young age that this just it landed with you and has never left you since. You shared you became Rupiah the Rebel soon after that. How did that show up?

• 16:43Speaker 02

  So the the community of the commune, the spiritual commune, and I take it that your listeners know what that means. It was a very, very big place. And you know, my upbringing was in being in group rooms, being in kind of retreats and seminars or workshops, whatever people call them today. And I I got to be in the tapestry of that upbringing and from childhood, teenage to adulthood. So, you know, I loved being in there and I was not understanding fully what the adults were talking about sometimes. It was it got very deep, of course, because I didn't have relationship issues. I was a kid, you know, but I could understand many things. And then, you know, when I would sit in there, sometimes I would get a little bit bored and I'd, yeah, you know,

• 17:27Speaker 02

  these are not my problems yet, you know, they're just not mine yet. So I would go out sometimes and it was a big commune. So it was kind of, you know, ashram is another word for it. It also was an ashram as well. And I would go out and we had our own little local shop. And every time they had the big cookies coming out, I would take these big cookies. And I would find a way to put it under my jacket. So while everyone is enchanting or doing, you know, some deep processing or meditating, here I am stealing the big cookies because, you know, currency was not our thing. And I was a kid. And then when I got caught, the punishment that was that we had to go do dynamic meditation every morning for five days.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  And as a kid, you're like, oh, that's not what I want to go do. But today, you know, ironically, people do, millions of people are doing this meditation. It's a very famous meditation, active meditation. So I got kind of dubbed Rupda the Rebel. And every now and then you'd see another kid in there with you doing the same dynamic meditation. You go, oh, you messed up too. It's like solidarity.

• 18:37Jonathan Fields?

  That's great. And I mean, larger context here also, as you describe, you know, the world outside the ashram, this is when a lot of sort of like Western culture was discovering this whole world. This is when, you know, like the Beatles were heading over and Ram Dass and that was a whole sort of early crew were stepping into, they're heading to India. They were in different ashrams. They were meeting different spiritual teachers and, you know, bringing them back to Western culture. But often, a lot of the people who were open to that, you know, they were the quote hippies, the counterculture, the revolutionaries out in. So it's kind of funny because you had a little bit of that energy inside the ashram.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You know, I, I want to say Jonathan, that the intense trauma that I had was so extreme. And then I noticed that lightness and playfulness was my saving grace as well. And then what I started to realize is there were people who would just be like, oh, I'm going to sit for, you know, three hours and all, you know, and, and I can see their commitment and their dedication, but it was never my way in that way. I still would sit for hours and I, oh my God, the amount of time we sat every morning and every night. But what I came to discover was spirituality was never serious. And if it was serious, then it kind of took away the fluidity

• 19:57Speaker 02

  of it, or the openness, or the spaciousness of it, or what might come next, the mystery of it. So, yeah.

• 20:05Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  It came very naturally.

• 20:08Jonathan Fields?

  I mean, it's, it's such an interesting observation too, right? Because I do believe that, I'm curious whether you still see this or like out there in the world, you know, speaking with so many different people. But I do see this sense of people equating any quote spiritual path to a sense of rigidity, discipline, heaviness, like, you know, asceticism. And you're like, this is just what you do. You have to sacrifice in the name of this thing. You have to even suffer to a certain extent in the name of, quote, reaching this point, whether you call it enlightenment or whatever it may be. And yet, the people that I've run across in my life, who I feel most just have got it, like they've gotten the transmission.

• 20:52Jonathan Fields?

  They're truly joyful in their lives and their beings and their relationships. That heaviness doesn't exist within them. And that doesn't mean that the world and their circumstances around them aren't sometimes really hard and really brutal. But there's something about them where internally, the heaviness doesn't seem to land. There's an access to lightness. I'm curious whether you see that same thing.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Fully, fully. I love how you put that as well. When we get so restricted on dogmas and doctrines and, I'm going to be very careful what I say because I don't want to upset anyone. But if you think about it from the perspective of some of these scriptures were written thousands of years ago. And if we kind of placate to everything, we end up kind of holding a particular construct. But there's also that part of us that wants to break free or is bigger than what had happened. I mean, what's alive in your heart today might be different than what somebody wrote for you to do thousands of years ago. So for some people, it's really hard because it's part of their conditioning. And if I were to step out of the constructs

• 22:03Speaker 02

  of the particular religion I was raised in, let's say, then the piece around that is often where do I belong? Once you dare to step out, it is a rebellious spirit to do so for some people. And there's such freedom in it and a lightness in it. And yes, then I see people who I can see in their faces, even if they are challenged in different aspects of life. They've kind of stepped out of the way they think they have to be and are in life, in the now, in the present and in enjoyment. I like that. Yeah, absolutely.

• 22:38Jonathan Fields?

  And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

• 22:43Jonathan Fields?

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• 23:26Jonathan Fields?

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• 24:09Jonathan Fields?

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• 24:53Jonathan Fields?

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• 25:36Jonathan Fields?

  Which if you're feeling a little salty yourself is kind of the point. Embrace your salty side. Go to kachava.com and use the code GOODLIFE for 15% off your order. That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code GOODLIFE. So you've used the word belonging a handful of times now. I'm curious, you know, take me deeper into how this understanding of belonging emerges, and maybe even in the context of these early days in the ashram and, you know, studying with a teacher. How does belonging really enter your experience early on? And how do you start to understand its importance?

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Well, I think when I look back now, I could see it was a survival strategy to belong, and then I'm safe, for sure, that part. Now, later on, not only in my own development, but because I've worked with thousands of people over the years, I can see that if we have a sense of not belonging, or we feel disconnected from those that we would like to belong to or have been belonging to, it creates an excruciating isolation inside for some people. Yeah, obviously, there's people who can go to India, sit in a mountain and chant, and they feel perfectly fine alone. But there is a lot of people that need for connection is very much connected to belonging and to being part of.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  And it's also part of our old survival kind of way of being is tribes. But what I also noticed, working with so many different people, is that when I asked them... You know, I do many different retreats and there's a particular thing in one of them that I do to register what's in the field. And when I ask about loneliness, that's the biggest one.

• 27:26Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  The biggest one. And I'm always surprised. And I can be in the Netherlands, Mexico, Brazil, Africa, many different countries, Australia, which is my home. So I'm amazed at how core that is. And usually it's pointing to something where they feel they're not even belonging maybe to their partner. There's a disconnect there. They don't know where they belong in their work life or in their communities. And the way I work with it, Jonathan, is that I work with it starting here. Because the the wounding and the pain of that is can sometimes be very outward focused. And we have a need for connection. We're all aware of that. But that first point of connection, that the relationship with

• 28:09Speaker 02

  yourself is the most important relationship. Because if you can somehow befriend this and feel a sense of home here, the way that we then are able to connect with others and feel a sense of belonging is not that hypervigilance and insecurity and doubt and worry. It doesn't come from that place. It comes from this place, you know, the heart center. This has been my experience in working with people from these three centers of intelligence. Yeah.

• 28:35Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm. Now, that makes so much sense to me. I've I've always felt similarly that I don't know if it's right to say it's impossible to feel a sense of belonging to and from others unless and until you feel that sense of belonging to and from yourself. But I think it's it's a lot harder.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 28:54Jonathan Fields?

  It seems like, and I'll talk from my own experience, that any sense of belonging comes with some blend of shape shifting to fit in. So you feel some sort of superficial sense of belonging, because it's never you that's actually belonging. It's the form that you've taken, like the the avatar. You know, it's a combination of that. Or there's a There's a graspiness to it. There's like a striving for it. There's like a, an attachment to it rather than just saying, I actually already have largely what I need internally. This would be lovely if I also found it around me.

• 29:36Jonathan Fields?

  But I'm also relatively okay just here with myself at the same time. And I'm raising my hand as somebody who like moves in and out of all of these things on a regular basis. You know, I've been doing a lot of work. And I think that's just like fundamentally part of the human condition. But does that land with you?

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. And to belong from a place or to, to be in home in yourself where, when you're really at home with yourself, nothing is lacking. So we're not going out in strategies and how to belong, how to fit in, how to, and then we abandon, you know, we split off from our true self. Yeah. So absolutely. And, and that, that kind of belonging, when you're in your heart, then you feel it. Yeah. And you're not worried about losing it. Then, you know, it, it's like, it's connected and, and it's a different kind of way of doing things, not worried about when it's gonna go.

• 30:30Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm. Is there a, a question, a prompt, a practice that somebody who's listening to this might, you know, be kind of nodding along saying, oh, this feels really resonant to me, but like, what's a first step I might take to start to explore this sense of self belonging? Is there an opening move that you sometimes invite people into?

• 30:55Speaker 02

  I, I'm gonna say something that might rock the boat a little bit. So with your permission. I feel like if people are not meditating. And being still and slowing down even for five minutes a day and saying hello to yourself. Every morning I wake up and do that and greeting yourself and open that dialogue and just kind of welcoming yourself in for a moment and just allowing yourself that space and time. Then you're going to be chasing from a particular place, this idea, you know, of how it's meant to be.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  But the moment we slow down, we close our eyes, I mean, meditation's been around for thousands of years. And I have to say a disclaimer, I've been doing it for forty nine years. So I now know that it's the foundation for me for everything, yeah. And yet it can be, it's where home is, it's where that deeper feeling of nothing is lacking. It's so much attunement happens in meditation, even if you can only do it for five minutes. And um, you know, what I notice is if I'm not meditating and let's say my partner's not doing something that I'm or whatever the, you know, anything can show up in relating, everything does, by the way. If I'm out of alignment with myself, it's so easy for me to project it on the other.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  Because I often say that anything that's not repaired here is going to show up in the field, whether you're working with individuals or in a relationship. And when we sit silently, close our eyes, we start to connect to ourselves, welcome ourselves, say hello, open that dialogue. And then the invitation is, you know, from there, you start to feel like, oh, yeah. I can feel a sense of self, I feel a sense of, you know, I have a right to be here and the belonging starts to open.

• 32:53Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm, now that lands, definitely. It's funny that you have to put a little disclaimer out there before offering meditation as a practice. But like, there's definitely, I wonder if it's really if it's the practice that people are reacting to or if it's the sort of the I don't know, hipsterization of the practice, the outcome orientation of the practice that's so often like the packaging of it, you know? Tell me a little bit more about what you mean by meditation here. Yeah, I mean, as you described when you're like earlier in life, especially like you were introduced and you're sitting literally for hours a day, morning and evening. You know, that is not the typical person's life or lifestyle.

• 33:33Jonathan Fields?

  And as you just offered, even five minutes a day matters and can make a difference. Are you talking about sitting? Are you talking about, or can we broaden the conversation around meditation and say like, this can be me watching the clouds come by. This can be me walking in nature. This can be me just being like deeply present, you know, sitting at a cafe, enjoying, you know, a cup of coffee while I really tune in and allow all the sounds around me. Like, what do you actually mean by meditation? And I guess the question is like, what counts and what doesn't?

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Well said. You know, my form of meditation, obviously with Tibetan Buddhism was, you know, the kind of sitting position that most people know and that with the eyes closed, that you orientate from outward to inward. And I think for people who are really busy and overstimulated, and there's so many devices now and so many, you can even strap them around your wrist if you want now, you know, to distract you from being with yourself or being present. So I think that's a good start for people if they're very hyper and they have a hard time, you know, breathing and slowing down. But once you start to feel that connection to yourself, and what does that really mean? It's like you feel like you can feel yourself.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  That's the best, you know, I work with the, I actually work with four centers of intelligence. Yeah. The head, the heart and the body. The body has an amazing wisdom. And as a trauma therapist, over the years, I discovered that more and more. And when you feel that alignment, you start to feel like your awareness is there, your feelings are there and your body's engaged. You feel that you're connected to your body. Because I'm working with a lot of disassociation. In fact, it's everywhere. I go on the bus in London or I'm on a plane going to, you know, Sydney, wherever I see it. Yeah. Because I'm very aware of that stuff. So that connection, when you feel like you're kind of attuned to radio self, can then begin to happen in your darts.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, or it can happen when you're going for a walk with your dog, you know, or laying in the grass, looking up at the sun, one of my favorite things to do, you know, and the sky. So yes, it can happen in movable ways for people who might just be starting out to get that alignment and that sense of alignment, you know, to know thyself. And what is that? Because I've been so outward focused on what he's doing, she's doing, they're doing work and survival and, and what actually am I? And how do I feel myself? Am I feeling myself now? You know, all of these things for the first attunement might take some time for people. But once you get that, ah, there I am, then yeah, then it can be horse riding

• 36:23Speaker 02

  or, you know, paragliding and so on. Yeah, definitely.

• 36:27Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah, it's like you cultivate the core skill and then you can sort of bring it to different domains. Um, that makes a lot of sense to me. Let's finish out sort of the early story here because it really informs a lot of what you've been talking to you. You referenced numerous times, you know, your work currently, you know, therapeutically in trauma with a lot of people, that literally thousands of people around the world. So let's, let's fill in the gap. You move into your later teens, I guess, early twenties, really guided largely by a teacher. And the teacher dies and that sends you into a really hard place.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that was a big identity crisis, which I think, of course, looking back, I can see that, you know, was okay.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  But then in my early twenties, I, I had a big, who am I outside of this community? You know, the teacher, everything. And I thought it was going to go on forever. You know, we were in a kind of community, conscious community. And it was, there was not even a thought that it wouldn't. And I decided to take a, a complete contrast decision to go from an ashram in India and live in LA for what ended up being for five years. And I'm gonna, you know, I didn't even.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  I didn't even shave my legs, you know, I didn't even know about beautician things, you know. We were just living in a way that was not, there was no criteria and have to be in order to be worthy of love. Yeah, and which was quite something for me growing up because I really needed that messaging. Yeah, but what I did is that when I got to L A, I really had convinced myself now that in a way the rug felt like it was pulled out from under me. Everything had finished, you know, seemingly. I tried so hard to be like the people in that city. I really, or let's say that what we used to refer to, and you would anytime you're living in a community is the world outside, yeah.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  I tried really hard. I got the bank account, the credit card and the jobs. I went to school. But I also discovered stress for the first time. I'd never knew what stress was. And I went in every direction. So I discovered drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. And it was really, I just completely abandoned meditation because I didn't want to be spiritual. I didn't want to be seen as a hippie kid. I wanted to be normal. And I wanted to be like, you know, all the yous I saw out there in the world, you know. And I failed because even though I made all the money and I got the house and the big bank account.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  I I got with it, uh, loneliness and a lot of isolation and depression. And it hit me really strong. I didn't even know how I got there, but that's how I got there. At the time I was like, how am I depressed? So I had basically gotten to a point where I disconnected so much from myself. The self that I had been, you know, calling home, the authentic self. I had done everything to be something else in order to fit in. So I did classic and I got the money and it didn't, didn't hit the spot.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  And I, and I could prove to myself I could succeed, but it didn't create anything for me other than a complete opposite. Which was such a painful disconnect of who I was. Which was now looking back Jonathan, I can say a really good thing that happened because. I hold people today in that isolation, in that depression and in, you know, their loneliness and I'm supporting them to come out.

• 40:24Jonathan Fields?

  How much do you think the fact that you had the prior experience of how you could feel, how you could look at your life, how you could center something different? How much of your ability to move out of this period of isolation, loneliness, depression, do you think was informed by the fact that you had already experienced and knew there was a different way of being? And that you believed that there was something, a different mode that you could move into? Whereas I think so many other people had actually never experienced that and questioned whether it exists or it's possible?

• 41:05Speaker 02

  You're absolutely right. I knew it. And I have to say that some shame came with it because I was like, wow, Rops, come on, you know? How did you get here? And the keep trusting voice stayed with me. You got this. Everything is going to be okay. And when I did come out the other side of that, I resisted for some time, wanting to come into this work because I'd been raised in it. And I realized then it was, how am I going to bridge these two worlds? What I know and what I've experienced and what I see around me? And that became my life journey.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  But yes, I was fortunate because I came back to my community, still existed, even though the teacher was gone. And I was fortunate that I had a lot of tools and awareness in how to come out of that. And that's what helped me to sort of adopt the many different things that I... Yeah, do today.

• 42:09Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm. Yeah. So it wasn't like you were starting over. It was more like you were returning to so much of what you had already known, reconnecting with it and then expanding your set of practices and tools beyond that as you decide. Okay, so now I'm reconnecting, I'm remembering and also remembering the experience that you've just been there. And it sounds like there was then a second switch that got flipped that said, I'm not the only one who's navigated moments like this, like literally the world is filled with suffering people. And it sounds like there was something inside of you that said,

• 42:47Jonathan Fields?

  I feel called to turn my experience, my skills, my practices out to the world to help others.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  Hmm. Yeah, exactly. And it was,

• 43:00Speaker 02

  even though I I met it with resistance in the beginning, because I was like, wow, that means I'm going to devote my life to this. But intuitively, I already knew it was already happening. But I had done so well in the dot com when I was trying to be something else. And then the moment I started remembering myself again and coming home, it just felt like that that part that it just wasn't serving me. But it was, it was, it was so good that I experienced that. So it was a big turning point and a ha moment for me. And

• 43:34Speaker 02

  and I have to be honest that I I didn't know how well I would be received because I was quite out there in my languaging and some of the things I was saying back then is now, okay, now we can talk about it. Yeah. But I was, you know, I came from a very progressive mind thinking, you know, and, and I'd already done so much inner work, you know, over the decade. So I had to adjust my languaging if I'm sitting in front of, you know, a, a, a parent or a CEO or whoever I was sitting in front of, you know, and, and I couldn't go into this big kind of talk. I really had to match people where they were at. And that was my next kind of steps. And how do I meet people where they're at so that they feel safe? To go another step outside of their comfort zone

• 44:19Speaker 02

  and to really start to look at what's happening for them, you know, and to get their trust, you know?

• 44:24Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm, I feel like getting people's trust is a huge issue these days.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:30Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah, it's almost like the opening stance is mistrust. And to assume, you know, untoward motive, to assume opposites and divergence and conflict. Yeah, it's it's an interesting moment when it comes to being able to cultivate trust or rekindle trust and not just trust in others, also in ourselves. I you know, I wonder if you see this in the work that you do, that there's so much mistrust in your own sense of identity and beliefs and values and understanding what is or is not right and right for you.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Hmm, you know, um.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  I had moments of really losing myself out there in the world of observing myself through the others. And the moment I lose myself in that, it's so painful that I have to really bring myself back into a landing in in that kind of belly of trust inside myself. Because it's such a painful separation when I'm not there. I say that because just as you said, trust is such a big one. And we have so many wounds around trust

• 45:51Speaker 02

  because of our upbringing and because of where we were, you know, rejected or lied to or, you know, gossiping or all sorts of things. And then we have it in the climate today, you know, and I'm going to be very delicate here, but just it is just in the world, in the collective, you know, there's so much lack of trust. And I know that the moment people work into my, whether it's my facilitator's training or a retreat or whatever, I know that the first thing I need to establish with them. Is some form of trust, because I can see the hypervigilance in people. I can see the body language and the nonverbal. I can feel it in their tone. I can hear it in their questions. And this centers of intelligence. Remember, I work with four. So the three, one, two, and three.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  This one right here allows that vulnerability. And now people are talking about vulnerability.

• 46:42Jonathan Fields?

  Just for those listening, by the way, that you're referencing the heart.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  The heart, sorry, yes, yes. Thank you. Head, heart, and body center. And they all have their wisdoms, yeah? And the heart center is, for me, the area where, of course, we have our feelings. And it allows for vulnerability. And vulnerability has now really become more and more spoken about and recognized as a strength, which I'm really happy for, by the way. That vulnerability also helps me as a facilitator, supporting others in being very honest in who I am from the very beginning, when people come into the space. And I notice that if I really allow myself to be vulnerable and I really stay grounded

• 47:24Speaker 02

  on the ground and how I meet people and invite people into the space and share who I am and, you know, a part of myself where I can be vulnerable, then it softens that. And I give very little for people to push against, because I'm not in there to kind of push at people. That's not my approach, let's say. I know other people have different approaches, of course, with respect. I say that because I know that the trauma that so many people carry has created mistrust, myself included, yeah? So it's such an instrumental thing, this word, trust. It's such a big one, and it's my mantra.

• 48:07Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah, it's huge. I love the phrasing you use. You said, "How do I land in the belly of my trust?" And I think that's something we're all struggling with. But the notion of, well, maybe the first step is... Can I myself, just for a hot minute, be a little bit more vulnerable? Not saying you have to just completely open the kimono and bury your soul to anyone and anyone who walks by, but you know, can I just dabble in it at least a little bit? Can I like try, run a little experiment with somebody who I feel safe with maybe already and see how it goes and maybe like then add to that and add to that and add to that?

• 48:43Speaker 02

  The moment you start to share your vulnerability with me, Jonathan, I can feel you. And the moment I can feel you, it softens something. And then I become feelable, you become feelable, and we're not now just functioning from head, which is can be where we start to go into the strategy, or the worry, or the doubt, or whatever. And then I can just, it becomes palpable, you know? So I just wanted to name that for those out there, you know? When you feel somebody, it just changes that chemistry, you know? Definitely.

• 49:12Jonathan Fields?

  So agree. And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Ah, fall, that cozy season where we swap the swimwear for sweaters and sunnies for scars. But before the Halloween decorations are put away, or Thanksgiving table has been set, there's already holly jolly music playing in the grocery store, reminding you that the year is coming to a close. Time to kick end of year into high gear. When you use Apple Card with Apple Pay, you earn 2% daily cash back on all purchases, including food, decorations, gifts, and more. Get a head start on your end of year purchases. Apply for your Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today

• 49:56Jonathan Fields?

  and start using it right away with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at applecard.com. Your Life Project is sponsored by Vindit. So here's a question that I have been sitting with. How many things in your closet were bought for, let's say, a version of you who never quite showed up? Maybe it's the tailored jacket for the dinners you were gonna go to, or someday pieces with the tag still on them. They're lovely clothes. They're just not yours anymore. That's where Vindit- Comes in. So Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where everyday people sell the clothes that they're not wearing to people who actually will. Listening on Vinted is

• 50:39Jonathan Fields?

  quick and simple. You take a few photos, write a short description, and you're done. Once something sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. There are also no seller fees on Vinted, so whatever your piece sells for, you keep. What I love about that is how it turns letting go into something that actually feels good. You get more room, a little extra money, and maybe a closet that reflects who you are right now. So see what's hiding in your closet. You might be surprised how much you can earn with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free and start listing with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn. Good Life Project is sponsored by Bombas. So my wife Stephanie has been one of the great gift givers in our family, and her secret is that the best gifts often aren't

• 51:21Jonathan Fields?

  the flashy ones. They're the ones that people reach for on any given day without even thinking about it. That's why so much of my list ends up at Bombas. Fuzzy sundae slippers for the friend who lives in sweatpants from November to March, merino wool and cashmere blend socks for anyone who runs cold. That would be me, by the way. Ski and running socks for the ones who refuse to slow down. Also me, by the way. And water-resistant suede booties. So cushy. My executive producer, Lindsay, actually more or less lives in hers. And here's what else makes it a good life kind of gift. For every item you purchase, Bombas donates an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated. Over 200 million donations and counting, so every gift you give is really

• 52:04Jonathan Fields?

  two. So head over to bombas.com/goodlife and use the code GOODLIFE for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash good life, code GOODLIFE at checkout.

• 52:18Jonathan Fields?

  So you've referenced these four centers a number of times, but you've only named three. So the head, the heart, and the body. The fourth being?

• 52:28Speaker 02

  So the fourth center, which I work with a lot, is the is the unknown and the intelligence of the unknown. And it's the area that I'm aware that when I look back at little Rupda growing up, how many times she jumped into that unknown, whether it was one commune, where's the Tibetan ministry, whether it was jumping into LA of all the places, you know, just that unknown and that willingness to go there. And now it shows up in my life. Of course, it's different in different ways. But I noticed that the biggest magic that

• 53:10Speaker 02

  happens when I'm working with individuals or groups of people happens in that center of the unknown is the biggest transformation. Because even if I have an idea of where I need to take you, let's say I'm supporting you in something, the unknown, I take I take a step back and something much bigger comes in. And in that journey itself, even if I if you're saying, no, Rupda, I need to go to this mountain top. Yeah, that's the goal. And it's okay. But the experience along the way becomes this kind of revelation of many unknowns. And I know that when I'm training a lot of facilitators, they get scared of

• 53:51Speaker 02

  the unknown, because the need to know is so strong, and the need to be in control is connected to the need to feel safe, you know, and it shows up in many different ways. So the more we create a space for the unknown, the more actually relaxation comes. And I often say to people, your ability to relax in life is in direct proportion to your ability to trust. So I was just like, ah, and to trust in the unknown is scary for some people, especially in their lives, but also as they work with individuals. But it's so powerful. And it informs.

• 54:34Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah, and it's the thing that we run from more than I think anything else in life. You know, it's, I'm a true believer in that, you know, possibility and uncertainty are two sides of the same coin. You literally cannot have one without the other. And we're constantly striving for possibilities in our lives, while simultaneously constantly striving to try and lock down as much of our lives as we possibly can. And it's like, you can't actually do both together. And it's, you know, like, everything that is truly new and alive, you know, came from us stepping into the void and trusting, hoping that something new and interesting would come from it.

• 55:16Jonathan Fields?

  Maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a job, maybe it's a gift or skill, whatever it may be, just a momentary experience, you know, there's, if we stayed in the land of the known, we may feel more comfortable for a hot minute, but then complacency and boredom and malaise, like, all these things start to define our lives. And then we complain about the feeling that it gives us, but we refuse to ever let go of this almost maniacal questing for certainty and security.

• 55:53Jonathan Fields?

  What's your take on what's underneath this?

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Underneath the need to know, you mean?

• 55:59Jonathan Fields?

  Yeah, the constant striving to, it's almost like we revert to a mean of the known. Like, it's like we're on a rubber band, you know, like, and one side of the rubber band is nailed to this thing called the known. And every time we start to like move too far away from it, there's a tension that builds and eventually it snaps us back to it. And like, we never realized that we had a pair of scissors in our pocket, where we could just cut the rubber band.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, I think because of conditioning, growing up, and especially, and I know it's delicate to say, I mean, religion has been such a strong support for so many people, because it's created faith, it's created hope, it's created prayer, it's so beautiful. And I can say from my own experience in it as well. And it can also create conditioning in how you have to be. Guilt is a big one, by the way. So if I step out of the box and I let myself be free and liberated, or wild and passionate, not okay.

• 57:08Speaker 02

  So we conform, but like I said before, we split off from those joyous parts. You know, when a kid is young, it's wild and free. You know, it's running around two years old in a sandbox with other kids and it doesn't yet know how to be in the construct of how it needs to be. But then we were told we're too much, you know, pipe down, slow down, you know, calm down. And then by doing so, we kind of conform. And then we get this, it's like almost unspoken contracts in how we have to be in order to fit in. And by splitting off from these areas of our lives, they become more unknown to us. And this other kind of identity in how we think we should be

• 57:53Speaker 02

  becomes the comfort zone, the safe zone. You're allowed to be here and then you're a good girl and then you're a good boy. Then you're approved of, then you're worthy of love, or then you're gonna get approval. And I want to say that I see this a lot, Jonathan, in how I'm working with people's constructs, yeah? But what if I really step out of that box and I step out of that comfort zone, then what? You know, they're scared because it's unknown to them. And the other thing they're scared of is because if I step out of it and I look back at my life and how I've set it up, what if I don't fit anymore? And it's really scary for people to do growth work because they're scared they'll rock the boat.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  So this need to feel safe is so strong, but it's under the guise of all these constructs, but it splits them off from their passion and their aliveness. By the way, another big one is how people feel numb. They feel numb because they don't go to feelings. Yeah, that numbness is now getting bigger and bigger in the world. It's amazing.

• 58:52Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm, yeah, that last point about the way that we um, we often, you know, we we build a life around a sense of known and comfort. And then we become a part of a community. We find a sense of belonging with those who have built the same kind of life around the same set of lenses and assumptions. And we all kind of live and we all make similar decisions. So there is a sense of like safety in that in that community of belonging. Okay, so like we're all similar in a lot of ways. We see the world the same way. And even when you wake up to the this notion that like, I'm actually pretty unhappy and maybe there is a different way.

• 59:32Jonathan Fields?

  The idea of leaving the current, like the status quo behind, it's it's not just hindered by our own fear of like how we might evolve, but that means we're gonna have to leave the safety and the comfort and the sense of belonging in that community, even if it wasn't a beloved community, but it was literally just a community of convenience. And it gets back to trust, right? Because then we have to trust that there will be others who are similarly inclined and see the world similar to us. And there will be others that will invite us into and we can step into or form our own new sense of community. And also, like we talked about earlier, that if we do the work to cultivate this sense of belonging

• 1:00:16Jonathan Fields?

  within and among just to ourselves first.

• 1:00:20Jonathan Fields?

  It makes sense this would become less of an issue. Does that make sense?

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Yes, and even when when people get scared and they go, Rupa, if I come to your retreat, I'm so scared what will happen next and how do I adjust? And I go, can you imagine that this new kind of tuning fork comes in? And now you're aligned to yourself, W W D, kind of what, you know, what brings you peace and harmony, and now, or passion and aliveness, yeah? And now that you really stay true to that and honest to your authentic self, now imagine that you now start to attract and get, because now you know you want to attract people who are aligned to that. And of course, it changes your worldview and it changes kind of who you interact with. And these old kind of patterns that you might be seeing in relating,

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  whether it's with friends, loved ones, and you realize they no longer serve you. If you end up being a pleaser or, you know, disempowering yourself for connection and love and making yourself small and you realize, wait, I don't know how many more years I have on this planet. I want to align to my truth, even if it means I, you know, give myself more permission to be here and have space and have a voice and that I matter. And I want to align to that. You're absolutely right. Then people will start, you'll start attracting those people that are in resonance to that. And yes, you might be end up letting go of some people who are, you know, not able to see you in that new light, you know?

• 1:01:48Jonathan Fields?

  Hmm. I wonder if one of the thoughts that goes through people's heads when they're even thinking about this is how long will I have to stay in the wilderness? Like, tell me when those new people are going to come. Tell me when I'll be able to breathe again. Tell me when I'll feel held again. But I wonder if also, so much of the work that you do, I know, is in community. You know, yes, you work individually with people, but also you do a lot of community-based things. I wonder if in your mind, part of the quote benefit of doing that is that you're already doing the work of bringing together that next beloved community that people can step into so their time in the wilderness becomes shortened dramatically and maybe that makes it feel more accessible.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And if is it okay if I say the name of what I

• 1:02:37Jonathan Fields?

  Sure, sure, yeah.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  It's actually called Deep Dive Retreat. So Deep Dive, it already implies the the invitation that we're gonna dive deep, which for me now in my mid fifties, it's so important that quality time is really important to me. So so now the invitation is, okay, anyone who wants to come to this, we're gonna dive deep, but it implicit in that is it's opening us up to deep conversations, deep way of connecting, deep way of meeting ourselves, you know, and whatever you wanna call something much bigger. And yes, it becomes a playground where people can go, oh, wow, I didn't know this existed. You know, now we can really talk and, you know, past the weather and past the sports and, you know, politics and so on.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  And yes, it then becomes a community and I've probably flown to another country by then, but there's a connection that's happened with those people and so beautiful. And each year I do, you know, of course, fly back and forth and and I get to see that community grow. And it's community that in many ways saved me. Yeah, it's really what is for sure a big part of who I am.

• 1:03:48Jonathan Fields?

  That makes so much sense. We we did um for five really amazing years, we did, we actually ran a an adult summer camp for four days at the end of every summer. We would sweep in, take over a kid's sleepaway camp, you know, hundred sixty eight acre camp out in the mountains and, you know, four hundred plus people would come in trains, planes and automobiles from around the world to sleep communally in kids' bunks. It doesn't do a bunk and stuff like this. And we had all sorts of programming and workshops and lectures and but we realized really quickly in the first year, we're like, oh, what this is about is not all this sort of like formal learning or curriculum or workshops. This is about creating a container where people

• 1:04:30Jonathan Fields?

  from the outside look at this and say like, I think people like me might be there and maybe it's not so easy to find those people in my current circumstance. And they would come and they would find those people. And we would realize really quickly, like, this is about creating the container that allows them to connect to each other. Like, there's almost no greater work that we could have done. Like, and it was nice that we offered all these different activities to participate in, and let people sign up for stuff and have fun. But at the end of the day, you know, the grace in that experience was when we would hear somebody talking about how they were flying on the grass with three people from different parts of the world that they'd never met before, at three in the morning, looking at the moon, talking about life.

• 1:05:17Jonathan Fields?

  Like, that's it.

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  Absolutely, absolutely. Because in the end of the day, that's, you know, it's not how much money you have in the bank, it's what you feel in that, in your heart and the connections you make. I know that I'm speaking to a lot of people today that I still wanna, you know, have the big money in the bank. And I said, in pursuit of that big money in the bank, please, please, remember to include your heart, so that when you have all that money in the bank, you're not disconnected from it. Otherwise, you don't see the joy of your children and the joy of the partner, and you can't feel it. You've just been a workaholic for so long, trying to achieve, achieve, achieve. So, and actually, it comes back to simple things, camping, laying in the grass, being

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  with friends, and that's the, the most fulfilling, meaningful connections we get, you know?

• 1:06:09Jonathan Fields?

  Love it. Feels like a good place for us to come full circle in our conversation as well. So, in this container of Good Life Project, if I offer up the phrase "to live a good life," what comes up?

• 1:06:20Speaker 02

  For me, for sure, the connection is a big one. And we're on the, on the, on the actual word. So, connection to myself, feeling that I'm okay, that self-talk and, you know, everything's gonna be okay, keep trusting, "Rupda, you've got this, you're safe." And the connection with others, that I allow people in, that I allow myself to trust, that I allow. And connection for me with natural world, as well as the mystery, let's call it the mystery, because I feel like we're held by something much bigger.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  And for me, that's, you know, for me, that's the good life.

• 1:07:10Jonathan Fields?

  Thank you.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:07:13Jonathan Fields?

  Hey, before you leave, if you loved this episode, say bet you'll also love the conversation we had with Bessel van der Kolk about healing trauma through the body. You'll find a link to that episode in the show notes. This episode of Good Life Project was produced by executive producers Lindsay Fox and me, Jonathan Fields. Editing help by Alejandro Ramirez and Troy Young. Christopher Carter crafted our theme music. And of course, if you haven't already done so, please go ahead and follow Good Life Project in your favorite listening app or on YouTube, too. If you found this conversation interesting or valuable and inspiring, chances are you did, because you're still listening here, do me a personal favor, a seven second favor, share it with just one person. I mean, if you want to share it with more, that's awesome,

• 1:07:55Jonathan Fields?

  too, but just one person even, then invite them to talk with you about what you've both discovered, to reconnect and explore ideas that really matter, because that's how we all come alive together. Until next time, I'm Jonathan Fields, signing off for Good Life Project.

• 1:08:19Jonathan Fields?

  Today's episode is sponsored by NerdWallet Wealth Partners. Are you on track for financial independence? If you're on track, the same way you're getting back to the gym, as in, maybe next year, then this one's for you. NerdWallet Wealth Partners offers free tools for high earners who'd like an actual answer instead of a vibe, like their calculator that estimates if you're on track for financial independence. Plug in a few numbers to see how your savings path may support your goals. Think of it as a fitness test that you can take sitting down. Or their wealth building checklist for high earners. It's a step-by-step guide for prioritizing your dollars once you're making six figures. And if you still have questions, you can connect with one of their financial advisors who specializes in working with high earners in their 30s and 40s. Good news, this is one workout you can actually

• 1:09:02Jonathan Fields?

  finish. Find out more at nerdwalletwealthpartners.com/good. NerdWallet Wealth Partners LLC is an SEC-registered investment advisor. Registration as an investment advisor does not imply a certain level of skill or training, nor does it constitute an endorsement by any securities regulator. Please see nerdwalletwealthpartners.com for disclosures and important information.

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

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