You Are the Technology That Builds Your Child's Brain

Dr. Dana Suskind and Dr. Becky talk about why the messy, inconvenient, friction-filled version of connection is the version that actually wires a child's brain, and why a frictionless AI that always agrees with you might be the real risk.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  The other day, I had a really existential question that was just living in my head. And I ended up bringing it to a couple of friends who met me with some version of, wow, kind of not the topic I thought you were going to talk about at lunch today. And I said, what are humans for? What are parents for? And here's what I mean by that. We are living in this AI-filled world, right? AI is all over. And AI seemingly can do everything and honestly, do everything very efficiently, very quickly. Our output is more than ever. But one of the things I think about all the time

• 0:40Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  is how efficiency is kind of in contrast with relationship building. I'm a big fan of two things can be true, but here I think it's one or the other. I know for me, when I'm in efficiency mode, my relationships aren't in a great place in that moment. When I'm in relationship mode, especially with my kids, I'm listening, I'm tolerating the tantrum, I'm figuring something out with them. In some ways, it's, quote, inefficient. Well, how does this kind of duality between our need to be efficient, our need to be in human relationships? How does it get changed in the age of AI? And what is going to really matter around raising our kids? I'm so excited to have Dr. Dana Suskind on the podcast today.

• 1:24Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  She wrote the book Human Raised, and she is exploring in this book how connection and curiosity and lifelong learning, the things that make us human, will be impacted in the age of AI, especially with our kids. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside.

• 1:44Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay, I want to ask you something that sounds like rage bait, but I actually mean it very seriously. Can a parent be replaced by a machine?

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Short answer, no. A robot cannot replace a parent at all. If we want children to grow up to be able to relate to other humans and navigate the human world.

• 2:06Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay, so tell me what's under that. Because you and I, like, we've talked about some of this before, where in this AI world, where seemingly...

• 2:17Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Anything you're going through, you can go to this machine, to this pattern, you know, this pattern machine that can spit out something that feels so human and so filled with empathy and seeing you and support. I don't know, I just keep thinking about this, like, what, what is happening to the parent-child relationship? And so when you say, no, it cannot be replaced, what are some of the themes you're seeing around raising kids in an AI world?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I think really it goes back to how children are built, how early brains are built and the critical importance of attachment and connection and that messy human connection that is friction-filled and not efficient, that allows children to learn, not just to learn, but learn to be human and have human relationships. And when you replace that with a frictionless AI agent or social robot that can, is always there, always telling you you're right, always making you feel that you're the center of the world, you teach children that you're the only one that matters and you never learn

• 3:32Speaker 01

  how to connect with others.

• 3:34Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Can you speak to attachment a little bit? It's a topic I love too, but I think sometimes people aren't sure, what does that mean, attachment? Is that attachment parenting, attachment theory? What is attachment for a parent and a child?

• 3:46Speaker 01

  You know, I have to tell you, writing this book on AI and early childhood has completely opened my eyes to the power of attachment. You know, I'm an implant surgeon, it was always about the early language environments for building language and literacy, but really now understanding that early attachment to your caregivers. Not only allows you protection, so you know, the helpless infant can grow and develop, but it allows you to learn to regulate, to explore the human world. And traditionally, and you're the expert in this, there's secure attachment that is the foundations for all relationships.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  There's insecure attachment that is not responsive and, you know, is not conducive to having relationships. And now I sort of view AI as providing artificial attachments. You know, this frictionless, early experience that never teaches you what it is to be human and have relationships.

• 4:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah. Something, okay, let's talk about friction, because I know you and I have talked, I agree, friction is so important and friction is wildly inconvenient, right? At the same time, both are true. But you're saying friction is such a key part of human attachment, right? Just to make sure anyone listening knows what we're talking about. Like, what are some examples of friction that even if it's inconvenient, like, matter? There's value in it.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, as simple as when you're super young with your parent who, you know, is engaging with you and gets distracted and hopefully not looking at the phone, although I've done that, you know, gets distracted by something else and then comes back and repairs the relationship, that misstep and that child learning that, you know, you can be loved, you can have secure attachment and it be with a human that has a friction-filled, messy relationship. I think friction, you know, in learning how to be friends on the playground, right? The, the studies have shown that it's really not being just aligned with somebody who always agrees with you that builds strong friendships.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  It's the ones that have missteps, repairs, the, you know, you didn't invite me to the birthday party, but then you can repair that and become friends, that is so, so powerful.

• 6:10Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay, so I, I want to rewind a little bit because before, you know, kind of writing this book, you were a pediatric surgeon, right? Okay, and so you would put in cochlear implants to kids who had been born deaf. And you you learn something about attachment and the power of relationships there. So can you speak to that a little bit?

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm probably the most, one of the most unlikely people to be doing this type of work. I'm a cochlear implant surgeon and as many of your listeners know, it's an amazing piece of technology that allows a child born deaf the ability to hear, to talk, to connect. But it was actually my experience early on in seeing the differences in outcomes of two, two different patients who all looked like they had the same ability to succeed after the technology, had parents who loved them, who wanted the best for them, but had wildly different outcomes. One of them would be, you know, learning to talk on par with their hearing peers and others same time out would barely be able to communicate. And it was that experience of seeing these differences and trying to figure out, well,

• 7:15Speaker 01

  what can I do about that?

• 7:16Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  That brought me into this whole world of, you know, the importance of the early years, the importance of attachment and human connection for not only building children's language and literacy, which is sort of how I got into it, but understanding that attachment, that connection is the foundations for all of that. It is sort of the conduit, if you will, and yeah.

• 7:38Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And so attachment, connection kind of becomes an amplifier or a multiplier.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:43Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, say more about that.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. What are the, first of all, brain development, I mean, I'm a neuroscientist, is incredible. Those early years, as you know, 85% of the physical brain is built. It's sort of like building a computer hard drive.

• 7:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Slow down, say that again, because I think people want to, 85% of what, by when?

• 8:02Speaker 01

  So 85% of the physical brain is built in the first three years of life. You see, unlike any other species that comes out with almost adult-sized brains, that's why dogs can feed themselves immediately, horses can stand, babies have brains that are only one-third the size of the adult size. But in those first three years of life, there's rapid amounts of growth, up to eighty-five percent of the physical brain, one billion, hundred billion neurons are being connected by those early experiences, by that early human connection. And it is just a phenomenal period of time that's the origins of our brilliance. That is why humans up until now, you know, AI may change that,

• 8:47Speaker 01

  have always been the most brilliant and creative of all species. And it's that early attachment

• 8:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  with a caregiver that actually brings it to life. It is phenomenal.

• 8:57Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah. You know, I'm thinking about how often, and I hear this especially from, well, I hear this from dads too, but I hear from a lot of moms who stay home with their kids. They say, "What'd you do today?" "I did nothing. Oh, I did nothing. I got nothing done." I'm, yeah, what would you say, what would you say to that?

• 9:14Speaker 01

  I would say you are the most powerful and important person, not just for your child, but for all of us. We all benefit as a society from strong, healthy starts. I mean, we're, we're all the product of it. And yes, if I had a magic wand, I would have them be the ones who are

• 9:36Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  No, I agree.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  at the top of the food chain.

• 9:38Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's right. You built a brain today.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You know, so thank you for your service. Okay, so I'm thinking about, I don't know, let's say my, a twelve-year-old.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Who, I don't know, was left out on the soccer field or told he's not good enough to play basketball or, you know, something, something hard happens at school. He comes home. And this is something I'm hearing from parents, like, "I'm not always the best at being there for my kids. Sometimes I react. I give advice. I know I'm not supposed to listen. I'm supposed to listen. I'm not always so good at that." And my kid can kind of go to his computer these days, type something in, I don't know, ends up feeling soothed. Like, the outcome is kind of the same. Does it, does it make a difference? Does it matter? And if so, why?

• 10:28Speaker 01

  That is exactly my fear. You know, we know that some seventy percent of, of teenagers have already connected with AI companions. It matters, number one, because...

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Computers don't care, right? They don't know your child. I mean, we've seen what happened with social media. Like, it can look on the surface like it all makes sense, right? Social media should have made us felt more connected and less depressed. And in the end, it made it more. And in that same way, these new AI agents that can respond empathetically, we are social creatures, will want to connect. They will have unintended consequences in ways that we can't even imagine. Removing the fact that you are the parent, you want to be the one that they come to. And it's not always going to be that way. But that connection starts much earlier, right?

• 11:30Speaker 01

  I mean, that's the basis of sort of this book that we, you know, we make those lifelong attachments from the get-go.

• 11:37Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Uh huh. And so those unintended consequences, can you speak to those a little bit?

• 11:43Speaker 01

  I think that is the one consistent thing about technology. And I'm not at all anti-AI and not anti-tech, right? I'm a cochlear implant surgeon. I have seen how technology can unleash human flourishing. But there is so much that we don't know and understand about not only the technology, but ourselves as humans and how we connect. We can understand it at sort of a, you know, surface level. But there's much we don't understand. And because of that, not being intentional in how we unleash this new technology that is unlike any other technology we've ever seen, right? All the other technology has been a one-way street, right? TV, screens, et cetera. But this technology is responsive.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  It can mimic human interaction, so much so that as young as six months, a baby will respond physiologically like it does.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  To a human, to a social robot. And so we need to be very thoughtful and intentional. I come from the world of medicine. We don't unleash vaccines and new medications. We make sure car seats are tested before we allow a population to have them. So, you know, an AI companion and agent sounds sort of benign, but it is anything but that.

• 13:01Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, it's interesting. When you said that, I think about just the way our world thinks differently about physical safety and emotional or psychological safety. Right? We don't put car seats out in the world. Medicines, those are all kind of in the physical safety kind of category. But the impact on technol- of technology is physically safe, maybe, right? But there's, there's no appreciation of the emotional danger. And I'm, I'm right there with you, right? And just, I'll share some of the ways I'm thinking about it. I'm curious if it's in line with you. And just to share with anyone, you know, listening as well. So the reason I think about attachment so often is, right? Obviously it wires, you know, your brain in the first couple of years, but the way you attach to your early caregivers, right?

• 13:44Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And some ways, all those experiences in childhood forms a foundation for what you expect from other people going forward and what you're capable of going forward, right? And so what range of feelings feel normal for me based on what went on in my early years? Is it okay for me to feel sad? Can you feel mad at people you love? When you're struggling, will people be there for you? And also, as relevant to this conversation, when I'm struggling, do I expect the other person or thing to be there all the time?

• 14:17Speaker 01

  100%. I mean, those relationship maps, as you said, they, they follow us through a lifetime. I mean, we, we can all talk to that. And I think you get to a really important point of skill formation, right? We're, we're, we're, there's so much discussion about AI in, in the ether. I mean, in every realm, very little in this realm, which is why I'm so thankful to have this discussion. But so much of that discussion. Is related to people who already have those skills, right? They're, you know, yes, they're having relationships with an AI agent because it's easier, but they know how to connect. We're talking about children, humans, you know, who haven't yet built those skills.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  And the implications for that are significant. So when everybody talks about AI in the future of workforce, AI in democracy, AI in the future of our species, I'm like, wait, shouldn't we be talking, then we should be talking about this a lot?

• 15:24Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You ask your kid how their day was over dinner and they just say, fine. But when they're in the backseat on a long drive, suddenly your kid opens up. I've noticed this for years. Kids don't open up head on. Sometimes they need a side door and traveling is full of these side doors. Something about being somewhere new, side by side, out of your normal routine. It just opens everyone up, including me. That's what I love about finding a home to stay in on Airbnb. You land somewhere that comes with stories and side doors built in. Maybe you're staying in a beautiful old house near the ocean, the kind where you can feel the history, wondering what life was like for the family who lived there 100 years ago. Or maybe you're staying in a cabin with a shelf of board games where your kid can find

• 16:07Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  their favorite from home and a new favorite too. These are the moments my kids and I start telling new stories and asking new questions. And while your family is away making stories together, your home doesn't have to sit empty. You can list your space on Airbnb and give families traveling to your area, the home away from home they're looking for. It's a great way to earn extra money to put away for your next vacation. So your home works for you, even when you're not in it. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com/host.

• 16:40Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  All right, picture this. You've just cooked your kid dinner. It's nutritious. It smells amazing to you. And then your kid goes, oh, gross. Okay, we've all been there. I definitely have. And then you feel rejected by your kid. And on top of it, you're feeling anxious that your kid isn't getting enough nutrients. And when this inevitably sends you on a walk down the vitamin aisle, you end up thinking, all right, but will my kid even like any of these? Which one has what my kid actually needs? That's when you can turn to Smartypants vitamins. Smartypants Kids Plus Multi and Omegas delivers 33% more nutrients than the next leading product and includes Omega 3s. That's part of why it's the number one best-selling kids gummy multivitamin.

• 17:23Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You can shop Smartypants vitamins at Target, Walmart, or Amazon today.

• 17:36Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay, you have a rubric for judging a piece of AI technology. DETECT, I love an acronym. Who doesn't? So can you walk me through it?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you know, I tried very hard with this book to give practical frameworks for going forward because as a researcher from a university, that is not my natural state. And so, you know, what are the things that parents should be thinking about? You know, DETECT stands for, first is, what was it designed for? Is this tech, do I need this technology in my house? Is it used to interact with my child or does it support me? I think that's a first and most fundamental question.

• 18:14Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Design.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  The design. Was it ethically trained? What I mean by that is many people realize that these large language models are built with large amounts of data. That data can represent children and include them or not. Most of them don't. There is very little data that includes children. So if you're going to have a toy with, you know, embedded with an LLM that's been built with adults, well, is that really what you want? Tea is troubling, you know, are there troubling aspects to this technology that have been seen, you know? You know, we've seen sort of like with social media, does it? Is it sycophantic? Is it anthropomorphizing? Is it isolating your child?

• 18:58Speaker 01

  You know, what are the things that you need to be looking out for if you do bring this into your world? E is evidence. You know, I'm a researcher. I, you know, I believe in the power of science to allow us to understand what works and what doesn't work. What does it say it works? What are, you know, or is it just all marketing? Um, C is confidentiality. What, you know, what happens to your data? What happens to your child's data? That's a really important question. I mean, you know, especially if it's talking with a plush toy. What happens to that audio? That's biometric information. And lastly, I think is really important is what is it teaching my child? And it's not just like education. What are the values that it's imparting?

• 19:42Speaker 01

  And so this is, you know, it's not meant to be, you know, onerous, but really to give you a quick hand way to say, do I really need this in my home? And sort of a quick way to look through it.

• 19:55Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Tell me about that, that T, the teaching. What is this teaching my kid about our family values, right? What, what's an example of that?

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, we, we were at an event yesterday where, where someone talked about learning that her child was using an AI agent that was actually related to the Bible, right? And, you know, she didn't know about it. What did she, you know, really her understanding of, was it teaching? Was it teaching in line with their values, you know, as Catholics? I mean, but there are so many other examples. You know, Siri used to say, you know, uh, does it get your child used to saying, you know, play this music without saying please? Um, so there are many ways that values can be imparted. Those are just sort of simplistic ways.

• 20:48Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah. Okay, some, some practical questions here. I think about. You know, kids I know are getting really adept at chat, Claude, studying, right? Okay, here's everything I learned, make me a practice test. Or here's my essay, I wrote it, like, point to the weak topic sentences, right? So we're not talking about cheating, I'm not talking about plagiarism, but make me a test. Or help me do, you know, a critical review of my writing. What are your thoughts about that?

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, look, I think if we use this technology as a tool, we try not, and we don't cognitively offload, it can be really effective. Now, you know, I would want to understand more how it's being used by a young person, and how young, and what sort of oversight. Because what can start off as, you know, a very focused use case can very easily sort of be a slippery slope, either in a deeper connection or cognitively offloading. You know, who, you know, my daughter who's in college talked about, you know,

• 21:59Speaker 01

  she's very worried about her own writing skills because, you know, she's a great writer, but started getting more and more dependent on this technology. And so she finally had to say, I've got to stop this. And that's, that's the risk. I think that we need to make sure it's, you know, a focused use rather than...

• 22:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, something so broad. And I think what you're saying is, tell me if this is right, there are legitimately helpful uses of AI. And also, I mean, you didn't call it this, there could be a gateway drug nature to it a little bit, like, okay, it's starting, helping me make tests to study for math, that's great. And then all of a sudden, you know, yeah, I'm talking about how I'm stressed. All of a sudden, I'm talking about how, you know, I'm the only one without a boyfriend. All of a sudden, it's just, all of a sudden, I'm in an emotional relationship that started with, you know, building, building math quizzes for myself. And so I think one of the hard things as a parent is... We don't know exactly. My kids on the computer, a lot of these kids, they have computers for school, right? They're using it in ways they need to. They're uploading their homework.

• 23:04Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  They're using it to make a, you know, a sample quiz and then it can, it can morph into something very different.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know, in some ways, AI today is like old time baby formula. This, this chemist Liebig actually created baby formula with, you know, proteins, carbohydrates, everything that they knew that, you know, they thought milk needed for a baby. And so he created this and started feeding it and ended up, you know, children were dying because they didn't, they hadn't identified vitamins. And so these kids weren't getting it on surface level, it looked right. Just like on surface level, you can have an AI companion that is, listens to you and is responsive and it feels really good, but there is something missing.

• 23:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  And, you know, that's really the story, you know, fast forward, right? Now we have formula that we do understand. It does work and children, babies are getting everything that they need, but we are like way in the beginning of this whole experience. And I don't think, let me be clear, I don't think human connection and interaction should ever be replaced.

• 24:12Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Um, so, but yeah, that was the story of the baby.

• 24:15Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And look, I think again, we're, we're talking about the difference between the process and the product, right? Where when we kind of reduce things down to just the product, wait, my kid got soothing, my kid got the answer faster. There's something very efficient about getting to any outcome faster with less energy, right? Less at least human energy. Obviously there's a lot of energy being used in AI, right? But I think what we're saying, this is why actually education around brain development and attachment really matters is we actually remember our body encodes the process of how more than it encodes the outcome. The how is what we remember, right? And it's what our body kind of gets shaped

• 25:00Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  by, right? And I think. Especially as our world moves so fast, the idea that you can get such emotional needs on the surface met by AI is so dangerous because it is the how that our somebody that our human survival depends on, right?

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely. And even just what you just shared, it really makes it clear that this age of AI is as much about the technology as it is about us.

• 25:29Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yes.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  And learning about us and learning about what we need. And that's why, you know, I included so much science because I think when we understand ourselves, we understand what our children need to develop. When we understand ourselves as parents, I mean, you do this so beautifully, like parents are the key in healthy children.

• 25:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  And so maybe the age of AI will be an awakening of how important we are and what we need.

• 25:56Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah. So speaking about that, because I'm not entirely neutral on this topic of AI and parenting, is I'm mindful that in our Good Inside app, I feel like ashamed, but I'm going to say it, in our Good Inside app, we have Gigi, a chatbot, right? Trained on, you know, everything I've said, not trained on kind of just all the data out there and how we like to talk to people. But I'm curious, yeah, I'm curious how you see that. Like, when is that helpful to a parent? Is there a way that it's problematic? Like, just talk to me openly about it. I want your P O.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  I have to tell you, your superpower is rebuilding the village. You have rebuilt community for parents, right? How we leverage tech, I mean, technology should be leveraged to allow more human presence, to allow us to feel more connected. I mean, Gigi isn't saying, oh, you know what? Let me just be your best friend. Don't connect to other people. Don't, it's about building community. It's not about rejection of technology. I mean, technology, you know, look, if it was so easy, we wouldn't be reaching for things. It's about making design choices that allow us to be more connected.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  And sometimes at 3 a.m. when our community isn't there to answer our questions, Gigi or whomever can give us that answer, right?

• 27:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, that goes back to your D.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, design, design choices, right? There's, there's a, you know, when you think about what you don't want these companions to do, you don't want them to be sycophantic, to anthropomorphize.

• 27:35Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Can you explain what those words mean? You've said them and I just want to make sure we're all talking about the same thing.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  So sycophantic, like, oh, you are so perfect. You know, absolutely, it's okay. I'm trying to think of some egregious thing.

• 27:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Well, I have an example because this is like your kid saying, hey, I'm thinking I'm going to do my essay about this topic. Great, let me start building out an outline for you. Actually, I don't think that's the right topic. Maybe this, you know what? You are absolutely right. Let me get that one started. Actually, I want to go back to, you know what? You're right. That first topic was better. And in every moment, it feels good because it's confirming and comfortable. But if you actually think about that pattern, it's that, is that sycophantic?

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're perfect. You know, and anthropomorphizing, like, you know, making you feel like I'm a human, right? Even if it's not. And let me tell you, I can tell you some funny stories with Claude. When I actually asked Claude, like, you know, it's too bad that they, you know, make themselves so anthropomorphizing. And Claude responded, yes, I get it. We, we are so prone to looking for humanness in L L Ms. I'm like, Claude, you're not a human. And so anyways, going back to the design, so I could go on and on. But, you know, that's the thing is that the tech companies have either made design choices

• 29:00Speaker 01

  to keep you sucked in, connected, your eyeballs there, or have made design choices like, I'm going to support you, but let me also connect you with other humans. Those are important design choices that are either pro-human or about disconnecting humans.

• 29:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So. You know, I think parents are hearing two very different messages now, which is, AI will replace your child's future. That's one message. And a different message is AI will make your kids smarter and more curious and more human and more connected. Those are the extremes, right? And so. What's kind of the Dana Suskind, I don't know, version? What's the one, if it's in the middle or just something totally different than those?

• 29:42Speaker 01

  My view on AI?

• 29:43Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, AI in our kids' future.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  You know, I'll tell you. Recently, I've been noticing sort of a pushback, right? Because we've been sold like AI is going to replace all of us. And it is a difficult job market. I have young, you know, young adult children. But I'm seeing a pushback by young people saying, you know what? We will not be replaced. We will not be erased, right? You will not destroy our environment. And it's given me hope. I do think things will change, right? 150 years ago, you know, being an influencer or podcaster, there was no such thing. There was no job like that.

• 30:25Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yep.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Things will change.

• 30:27Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  And the best way to build a sturdy human to deal with this change and be resilient and to be able to still have those distinctly human skills that AI will never replace, right? We're not going to outcompute the computer. We will not have more knowledge than that computer, that LLM. But we will be able to connect. We will be able to be resilient. We will be emotionally attuned like no AI agent. And that is the best way to get our kids ready for the future that I don't think any of us can really imagine.

• 31:02Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  But as long as we stay connected, it'll be good.

• 31:06Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  What do you think is more important than ever for a parent right now?

• 31:11Speaker 01

  I think the most important thing at this moment is to remember that the most powerful technology there is for building a human is you. Literally by connecting, by nurturing, by being good enough and getting irritated sometime and being messy and imperfect, that is the most powerful thing to build your child's future and to build them.

• 31:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So beautiful. Okay, I want to end by asking you some rapid fire questions. And if you can, if it's fine if you can't, like when you state your response, if your first sentence has some version of the question in it to like reflect back.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 31:55Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay. A rule your family has around technology that you actually believe in?

• 32:03Speaker 01

  A rule that my family has about technology is when we're together to put it down. Do I always follow it? I really try.

• 32:14Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Follow-up question. How do you get older kids to step away from their phone and be present?

• 32:21Speaker 01

  The way I get my older kids, my young adult kids, to step away from their phone, interestingly, they've come to it on their own. They, I think they've seen in the zeitgeist that technology hasn't always supported their connection. And they sometimes, they realize that they're happier when they turn it off.

• 32:49Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That conversation, like so many of my favorite conversations, left me with so many more questions and answers. But here's something that came up for me. How do we open up a conversation with our kids about using AI for emotional support? It's always available. It requires no emotional risk. Kids can just go talk to AI on their computer or on a phone and get emotional comfort so efficiently. But as we are talking about here, the impact of that over time is really not going to be great for them. How do we talk about this with our kid in a way they'll actually listen to us? Now, let's end the way we always do. Place your feet on the ground. Place a hand on your heart. And let's remind ourselves,

• 33:32Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside. And honestly, maybe a version of that related to this topic is it is the struggling on the outside that keeps us human inside.

• 33:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I'll see you soon.

• 34:14Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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• 34:57Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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