Broadway's Leslie Odom Jr. & Nicolette Robinson Talk Parenting

Leslie Odom Jr. (also known as Hamilton’s Aaron Burr) and Nicolette Robinson join Dr. Becky to talk childhood wounds, breaking cycles, raising spirited kids, and navigating success while staying close in marriage. They share honest stories about repair, self-preservation, growth, and creating a legacy of kindness for their kids.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  After my first baby was born, I treated my own recovery like a complete afterthought. If the baby needed something, I showed up immediately. If I needed something, well, it would wait. But research shows that when parents have the support they need, they're better able to care for their children. Taking care of yourself isn't separate from parenting. It's a huge part of parenting. That's why I love Frida's mission to prepare women for the realities of pregnancy, postpartum, recovery, and feeding. Frida creates solutions for the moments that often catch moms off guard. The Postpartum Essentials Kit and Breastfeeding Survival Kit help women feel more prepared for those early weeks of motherhood. Be motherhood prepared and shop Frida at Amazon, Target, and Walmart today.

• 0:43Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I live in New York City, and I've always loved Broadway. The energy, the emotion, the way a performance can make you feel something so deeply. Just the other day, I saw a show and tears were streaming down my face, tears I didn't know I clearly had to let out. This is why I'm especially excited about my guest today. I'm talking with Leslie Odom Jr. He's the original Aaron Burr from Hamilton. He's the voice you hear in the soundtrack, and his incredible wife, also an amazing artist, Nicolette Robinson. You might know her from Waitress. We end up talking about topics that are relevant for everyone. The relationship they have with their families of origin, what it really means to be a cycle breaker, and the amazing life they've

• 1:28Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  created offstage. This is a conversation that's going to resonate with you deeply because Leslie and Nicolette really show up. They're real, they're honest, and they constantly put words to things that most of us think in the back of our mind, but maybe have never actually heard someone say. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside. We'll be back right after this.

• 1:59Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I don't know about you, but by the time September rolls around, I am ready for cozy season. That's when I start thinking about Thanksgiving plans and travel that allows me to spend quality time with my family. I'm thinking board games, changing leaves, maybe even a living room with a fireplace where we can read our books together. Maybe you're the kind of family that loves an adventure and wants a cabin in the mountains somewhere. Or maybe you're dreading the end of summer and need to look forward to staying at a home on the beach with a view of the ocean. Or maybe you love to cook, so you want to stay in a home with your dream kitchen. Wherever your travel plans take you, it's the perfect time to get a little reset together as a family before the holiday season and craziness begins. But here's something you may not have considered. If you're planning to go away this year, leaving your own space empty, you can list

• 2:44Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  it on Airbnb while you're away to give another family some quality time in a home away from home. You get to make use of your space and you can earn some extra income to put toward your family's future travel plans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com/host. Here's a question parents ask me all the time. How can I help my kid take ownership of their routine? I love this question because owning a routine is such a good way for kids to build independence and confidence. It's why I'm excited to tell you about Yodo, the screen-free audio player for kids. In the mornings, your kid can wake up with Yodo's alarm clock. When your kid gets home from school, Yodo has focus tracks, audiobooks, music, and learning content. One of my kids really likes to write and record their own stories with the "Make Your

• 3:29Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Own" cards. Then at night, your kid can build a wind-down routine with Yodo's toothbrush timer, white noise, and nightlight. With the right sounds, stories, and a bit of structure, thanks to Yodo, mornings feel more manageable. Homework time feels calmer, and winding down before bed becomes something kids can run themselves, making the whole school year feel a little easier for everyone. Use the code DRBECKY15 for 15% off your order at Yodoplay.com. New customers only, ends October 31st. Terms apply. Offer valid on select products only.

• 4:07Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Hi.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 4:09Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So happy to have you guys here. Okay, we're gonna cover so many different things. Let's just orient ourselves. I mean, I think when people probably see the two of you, they see, which is true, these stars, like so much success and, you know, grace and this chemistry and performers that you've been and all, just so much amazingness there. And I think probably what they don't see is, I don't know, the work, the recalibration, what's led here. And so maybe we can just start. I'd love to hear, like, tell me a little bit about who you are that isn't just so obvious on the stage or on the screen.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  You wanna tell who I am and I'll tell who you are?

• 4:52Speaker 02

  I love that. Sure, I like that.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Yes. Oh, Nicolette comes from a family of performers, entertainers, entertainment type people. And I, I'm gonna talk about her like she's not here. But, you know, the thing that actually attracted me most about Nicolette is that, you know, she is more talented than she'd even have to be. She's more gifted than she'd even have to be. You know, her parents did this wonderful job of raising a beautiful person. You know, it's not about, if she was ugly inside, she'd be not as attractive outside.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  You know, the first few years that we were dating, I just kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know, like, when am I gonna see the other side of this person? And it's just who she is. She's just a good, good inside. You know, she's really just a good human being. Her parents did such a fantastic job. But she's also grown. We've been together 17 years now, so I've also seen her really grow from a young woman, you know, girlish, to this, to this boss. You know, she really does, not only does she manage her career in such an intentional and...

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Thoughtful, personal way, you know, the way she does her business is not the way that I do my business. I've grown to respect that. But she really manages our little family like a, like a company, like a, you guys have a lot in common. You know, when I, when I met you on the street, I was like, my wife is gonna freak out that I don't.

• 6:37Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Which I did.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think that you guys would have a lot in common. She, she.

• 6:40Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  We vibe.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, she just, she, she gets things done. So I could go on and on, but she's my favorite. She's my favorite actor. She's my favorite person to spend time with outside of our kids. And yeah, that's my girl.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  He's safe. That's very.

• 7:02Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  He really is.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Aw, I secretly said that we should talk about each other just to make him talk about me.

• 7:08Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I mean, by the way, and that's gonna be my new go to. Like, who doesn't want to hear someone say nice things about them?

• 7:13Speaker 01

  So when do you ever really do that?

• 7:15Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Seriously, thank you for the new interview structure.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  I love that. Well.

• 7:20Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, who's Leslie?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Leslie is a Leo to the core.

• 7:28Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  My third is a Leo, so let me just.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  You know how that is. I mean, vibrant, a host with a capital H. Loves to host a room, whether it's friends or, you know, people he's just met. I mean, you know, you, you guys went to go see his show and afterwards you're, you're hosting during the show. And then you're also hosting afterwards. And, you know, he takes a lot of pride in making people feel seen and feel welcome. And he's, what a lot of people don't know is that he's deeply sensitive

• 8:09Speaker 01

  and, and sweet. Honestly, just watching him be a father is just, um, seeing a whole side of him that, you know, the guy who's on stage, who's just this dynamite explosion of talent. And seeing him as a dad is just like.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  So special and he's just so loving and so playful and silly and way more patient than I am, I think. And I think a big thing that I'll say, just having been together for 17 years and really, you know, you go on this journey together and you see each other from the start. I was 20 when we started dating. He was 27 when we started dating and that's, you know, going from that to whatever ages we are right now.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  You can't do math, right?

• 9:10Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  No, don't do math.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  There's no math on the podcast.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  We, I've witnessed this man grow in a way that, that I don't even know if I could grow in the way that he has. I mean, I think that what's so special about you is he's so willing to dive in and do the work. You know, being a Leo, there's, there's a stubbornness, I feel like. There's a thing that like you are so intelligent and so good at what he does. So it's, um, he's not always wrong very often, or he doesn't think he's wrong very often, but when you can really get to him and convince him to understand, you know, your side or whatever it is that we're

• 9:58Speaker 01

  learning about, he is so willing to acknowledge when there is room to grow and to change. And he, um, even just over the past year, I've seen him become a whole new person in the most beautiful way. Yeah.

• 10:16Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You know, when I think about like marriage and what we all take on, in some ways, like the best thing you can say or try to get to know about your partners if they're open to change, because however you are when you meet. Like, I always think when you get married to someone, you're kind of like, okay, this distance is what feels good to us. And each person's gonna grow. And so the only way for you to stay that close is if like, both people are committed, or you're both committed to not growing, which is really sad, right? And being open and being willing, you know, to that process, knowing you're gonna change, and you know, you're willing to do that, I think is, is something I'll tell my kids to like, look out for in a partner.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you decide as you go, you know, are we growing together? Are we growing in the same direction? Are we growing in a way that we want to continue this?

• 11:01Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Okay, I'm gonna come back to that and to parenting, but I actually wanna, I always like to start, because I feel like some of that starts earlier. So as actors, performers, you know, what I think about so often is so many times that people who are successful in those crafts in adulthood, I don't know, like, they had a lot of creativity, they had a lot of energy, they weren't necessarily in the box, you know, the easiest kids. I don't know, like, what was it like? Yeah, what, what hits you about that? Like, and where did your creativity, your art kind of, where did that start?

• 11:37Speaker 01

  We're both very, very different kids, growing up.

• 11:40Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  And very different households as well. And so, I mean, for me, I, my mom was a choreographer, growing up, and so I grew up sitting against the rehearsal mirrors, just watching dance rehearsals of musicals and shows. And my dad was always at the piano, and my dad was directing things and teaching acting classes. And so it was really around me in that way. And then my mom was my dance teacher in high school, so I really got into acting then. But I was the kind of kid that, I was a very well behaved kid, and I wouldn't say that this one. But I was the kid that would just be in her room, you know, sitting

• 12:25Speaker 01

  in front of the mirror, like, dreaming about pretending different acting films and scenes, and super nerdy in that way. But I, I was just a lot more.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  What is, what's this word?

• 12:39Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Contained?

• 12:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, contained, probably. But still very vibrant and loved, you know, getting involved in extracurriculars and stuff. But I think this one can share a different experience. A slightly different story? Yeah.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I grew up in a house with a fair amount of trauma. And so I, I think, I'd love to know what you think about this, but I kind of think that a kid is gonna express themselves somewhere. They're gonna come apart somewhere. And I wasn't allowed to come apart at home. So I came apart. You know, I tested the limits and did all that stuff outside the home. Our kids are the opposite. You know, our kids oftentimes in school and stuff, you know, people are meeting the best versions of our kids because they come apart at home, which I think is, we're trying that. Yeah, we're trying that. It feels, yeah, I was much safer at school, to be honest. So, yeah, and I think that,

• 13:36Speaker 02

  I've been thinking

• 13:40Speaker 02

  quite a bit about

• 13:43Speaker 02

  myself as a child and what led to where I've arrived. Because in so many ways, I've arrived at the life that I always dreamed about as a kid. And that's really only recently that I've really become aware of that. It's a really satisfying thing. And I think that,

• 14:04Speaker 02

  you know, I don't, I don't do, i- i- if you'll permit me to talk about myself for a second. I, I think that one of the things that might be interesting about me is

• 14:18Speaker 02

  sort of how alive my, my internal world can be. You know, when people watch me, there's a lot going on inside. And, and for the first time, I'm, that's what it was as a kid. I had so, I had a whole world going on in here that I was not allowed to express. I had to keep it all inside. So I got really good at that. I got really, I mean, there were so many things that I wanted to say. There were so many feelings. You know what I mean? There was so many, I wanted to lash out, I wanted to, but outside it was, you know, whatever mask I was required to have in my house. And so anyway, I've put it to good use, you know, these, I do think that, you know, when I'm at my best, if you're watching me, there can be something compelling about,

• 15:03Speaker 02

  I mean, that, that performer is always thinking, there's something happening in there, right? And that's what my childhood was like.

• 15:11Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah. So you really remember that, like you, your internal life was so alive.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Yes, that was the only place I was alive.

• 15:20Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  I was, I was waiting for my autonomy. I was waiting to be free so that I could live fully, so that I could live joyfully. We were so, um, controlled, it was such a, you know, it was just such a stifling environment that I had, I, I, I lived fully inside and I was waiting to get out of there so that I could live outside too.

• 15:44Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So how did you then, I mean, there's so many avenues that could have come out in some maladaptive or some at least that would have been ending up being harmful to you. And it seems like performing is, you know, is a healthy avenue for that. But how did you, how did you find it? Or did, how did it find you?

• 15:59Speaker 02

  It's a miracle, you know? It's just like, I mean, yeah, no, a childhood like that can just as easily kill you.

• 16:07Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  You know, that's the thing, you know, and sometimes it's, um, it can be a frustrating thing. It's such a wild thing to survive that and to have a person that was responsible for that kind of look at you and say, well, how bad could I have done? Look at, look at you.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  That's really the response, you know, I couldn't have been too bad because look how successful you are. And it's, you know, it can leave you speechless because, you know, it negates all your hard work, all the work you've done to heal, all the work you've done to, to make choices, to make, to be different. It's, it, yeah, my life has been in response to that, in response to that unhealthiness, in response to, right? But, um, yeah, it's a miracle. I mean, because it could just as easily have taken me down many, many horrible paths.

• 17:07Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Here's a question parents ask me all the time. How can I help my kid take ownership of their routine? I love this question because owning a routine is such a good way for kids to build independence and confidence. It's why I'm excited to tell you about Yodo, the screen-free audio player for kids. In the mornings, your kid can wake up with Yodo's alarm clock. When your kid gets home from school, Yodo has focus tracks, audiobooks, music, and learning content. One of my kids really likes to write and record their own stories with the make your own cards. Then at night, your kid can build a wind down routine with Yodo's toothbrush timer, white noise, and nightlight. With the right sounds, stories, and a bit of structure, thanks to Yodo, mornings feel more manageable. Homework time feels calmer, and winding down before bed becomes something kids can run themselves,

• 17:52Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  making the whole school year feel a little easier for everyone. Use the code DRBECKY15 for 15% off your order at Yodoplay.com. New customers only, ends October 31st. Terms apply. Offer valid on select products only. I don't know about you, but by the time September rolls around, I am ready for cozy season. That's when I start thinking about Thanksgiving plans and travel that allows me to spend quality time with my family. I'm thinking board games, changing leaves, maybe even a living room with a fireplace where we can read our books together. Maybe you're the kind of family that loves an adventure and wants a cabin in the mountains somewhere. Or maybe you're dreading the end of summer and need to look forward to staying at a home on the beach with a view of the ocean. Or maybe you love to cook, so you want to

• 18:36Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  stay in a home with your dream kitchen. Wherever your travel plans take you, it's the perfect time to get a little reset together as a family before the holiday season and craziness begins. But here's something you may not have considered. If you're planning to go away this year, leaving your own space empty, you can list it on Airbnb while you're away to give another family some quality time in a home away from home. You get to make use of your space and you can earn some extra income to put toward your family's future travel plans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com/host.

• 19:15Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  How do you deal with that now? That type of response? Or is your family still in your life?

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Um, I have, I made the difficult decision to, um, to separate myself from some people. And, and that's just really, just, you know, that, that's really an act of love too. It's an act of love for myself and an act of love for them. Because there was a real part of me that wanted to change them.

• 19:44Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yep.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  And I finally accepted them for who they are. They're never going to change and they don't have to change for me. And so we.

• 19:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, I, I really want to thank you for sharing that. I know there are so many people listening and I, I hear from so many people who I think are in a very similar situations. And the, the truth is all we can do as a kid, when we're in a situation that's overwhelming or scary, where our needs aren't getting met, we can't, we can't stop trying because the idea that, well, that's who they are and I guess I can just change. You're like, well, you're five, well, you're eight, like, good luck surviving on your own. So it's a really adaptive thing for a kid to, in some ways, this idea of like, take in the badness, is the world bad or are my parents kind of bad? Am I bad? And they kind of think of those black and white terms and as long as you take in the badness, you have agency.

• 20:38Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay, if only this or if only that, if I could do this, if I could do that. And to feel helpless, you know, there's this quote that I always come back to from Fairburn that says, for kids, it's better to be a sinner in a world ruled by God than to live in a world ruled by the devil.

• 20:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And I think we can have a lot of compassion then, even as adults, when you're like, yeah, it is true, I am 20 now. I'm forty five now and I could survive on my own, but I guess that idea of trying to change and trying to make it my fault and figuring out what I could do, I kind of get mad at myself now for doing that. But but that came from a really crafty, really adaptive place for all the years that my brain was wiring and thought it was protecting me. And so when we think about it that way, I think like we can have a lot of love and compassion for ourselves and separate a little, okay, well, now it is now I'm an adult, right? And and I can start to make different decisions. And so.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  And there was conditioning because it was, you know, when you are raised by one or two emotionally immature people, um, or however many emotionally immature people are around you. You know, there is a part of the conditioning is,

• 21:53Speaker 02

  look what you made me do. That I'm not in control of the way I act. You are.

• 22:00Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You made me.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  You made you. I don't want to be this guy. Look what you, you know what I mean? Yeah, I destroyed the house. I ripped it all up, but that's be right. And so like you said, you learn as a kid, oh, you know, when when the house is going to shit, who did it? It's not that person's.

• 22:16Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  No.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Who set it off, right? So yeah, you you are you are conditioned in that way that that you are responsible for the weather. You are responsible.

• 22:28Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And again, think about how terrifying it is for anyone here, like as a kid. Well, if there can be a really scary storm at any moment, and the only thing I can say to myself is, it's not my fault. I guess that just happens. But I but I live here. Okay, like you, you can't really survive those two things at once. Like I could be at the brunt of a horrible storm, nothing I can do to decrease the likelihood. It's not really my fault. That that that actually isn't something a child could tolerate and continue day to day. So I guess I'm, yeah, I made my dad, I made my mom act that way, even if they don't even say it to me, which a lot of parents do, I'm going to feel that way anyway. So then if they say it, it's just confirmation.

• 23:13Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Right? And it's. Such a different model of managing your emotions, which is some version of something happened. By the way, it might have involved my kid that brought up frustration. But my behavior around that, my reaction to that, how I manage the frustration. By the way, that is, I was told that has nothing to do with your kid. That predated your kid's existence. Right? And I think that's such an act of cycle breaking for so many of us. Right? My kid not listening in the morning? Yeah, of course, that's frustrating. Do I yell because I'm frustrated with my kid? No, I yell because I can't manage my frustration. Right? Big difference.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Huge. So think like, I feel like cycle breaking is a huge thing right now for so many people. And I just think what he's done in this season, in this past year, setting boundaries for himself and recognizing the cycle that he can step out of and have boundaries that can protect him has changed his life, but also it's affected my life, affected our kids, it's affected everybody that's around him. I mean, yeah.

• 24:29Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And I want, boundaries are my favorite topic. Actually, there's so many things I'll lie about and I'll say it's my favorite topic, but it always feels true. When I say that, okay? Boundaries really are, but they really are my number one.

• 24:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  But, but I want to link it to what you just said and then just come back to your understanding of boundaries and how it plays out. Because if you think about the lesson we all, so many kids learned, you made me do that. It's a boundaryless communication. There's no boundary between something I do and your terrif, you know, terrifying reaction, whatever it is. So, so many of us grew up in households where like, well, whose feelings are whose, who's responsible for what are completely commingled. There's no boundary there. If I'm responsible for making this up, but my dad, my mom drinking a lot and, and hitting or yelling or ruining the house, then like, there's no boundary. People are like, I don't even know what a boundary is.

• 25:26Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Right?

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Completely.

• 25:28Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So, so what are boundaries? Yeah, tell me more about that journey around boundaries. I have so many thoughts about boundaries, but I want to start with yours and what that's looked like, felt like.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  I think we're still learning. I mean, we're, it's a constant, constant learning, but

• 25:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Uh, really, again, again, talking about this year

• 25:48Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  And what we've sort of discovered about these boundaries with family and, um, toxic energies in your life. It's, uh,

• 26:05Speaker 01

  I think that

• 26:11Speaker 01

  I just had a completely new thought, you know, and you like in mom brain where you're just like, I, I do want to say that as we are, you know, growing and discovering this, this relationship with boundaries.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  I am most proud of the progress that we've made when I see little moments with our kids of, of, um, them recognizing their, uh, not responsibility necessarily, but maybe responsibility, but moments where I know if I took responsibility for my energy or my, you know, if I did yell or things that you talk about a lot. I read Good Inside.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  The moments that I've recognized, you know, it's time for me to repair a moment and come back. I've seen them model that and those are the moments that I really feel like, okay, we're making progress. They're hearing me. I'm doing a good job.

• 27:10Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yes.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  And because I'm setting boundaries for myself and then coming back and recognizing I, uh, I probably shouldn't have spoken to you like that. And I'm going to also give you space because it looks like you, you, you've asked for some space, so I'm going to give you that. Or even asking for my own space in the moment. What does that sound like? So, you know, practicing, I'm still learning, but I'm really trying. I really come to him all the time, like, okay, Dr. Becky said we can do this thing. We'll have our strategy meetings.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, our son is four, so he has his, he's having, you know, super high emotions at times where he doesn't know what to do with his body. And it can turn really physical. And so I'm working on, you know, I'm going to, I'll try to stop him from hitting, if that's what it is. I'm not going to let you hit me right now and I'll try to stay as calm as possible. But if I can't get it to stop, I'm just saying, I'm gonna go take some space from me because I don't like the way my body feels right now. And I don't like the way that you're, I don't like, I don't like to be hit or, you know. So I'm going to go out for a little bit. And usually, I don't know, that response is like, nah, go.

• 28:29Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  But that's so beautiful. And I think there is this weird message we've gotten, especially recently in parenting, like, it's some ways like all about the kid, like, like this martyrdom, this, in some ways, like martyrdom is another form of boundarylessness. Ooh, think about it. And it's like, I always say that it is something I try to think about in the back of my head when I'm making decisions like that, like, I know I need space or I need to do something for myself, my, my kid's upset about it. Like, I don't want my kid to be like, my mom loved me so much, she ran herself into the ground. Like, I don't want that about, I don't want that story. I don't want that model for their partnership one day. I don't want that model for, love means one partner always gets what they want while the other one's running themselves into the ground and becoming invisible and resentful.

• 29:14Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And that's when we become rageful and, right? And so, and, and stopping that cycle means setting boundaries earlier than we think. To say like, I, I need space, right? And yeah, it doesn't feel good to a kid to say, you're crazy. No one can be around you like this. Like, all right, but that's very different. Someone's like, yeah, so that means I can't take space? No, there's many ways to take space, people. Okay, that's one. Another one is maybe even a half second before, hey. I'm feeling my body feeling hot and activated. I need a moment to myself. You're a good kid. I'm going to step out. I'll be back in a little bit. I love you. The space is taken both ways, but it's completely different.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  That's a good one to try to do it before it spirals out of control.

• 30:01Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  The best way to do that, honestly, is to talk to your kids in calm moments and to say, do you know something I'm gonna do from now on? You know what sometimes we're in your room and things get a little, you know, like a little hairy? Like, you know, let's call a spade a spade. One of the things I'm gonna do is tell you earlier when I need a deep breath. And I want you to know in advance, that doesn't mean I'm leaving forever. It doesn't mean you did anything to me. We all have moments when we recognize we need something. And actually, you're gonna start having moments like that too in your relationships. And that is such a powerful thing. So by almost saying it like over dinner, and by the way, just I always like tell parents, he's not gonna be like, that's profound. No, he's gonna be like, can I have pretzels?

• 30:46Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's always said. But they hear it.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  They do.

• 30:49Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And also, the next time you're like in his room, it's weird when you've already said it in advance. It's almost like you've already heard yourself promise you're gonna do it. And they've heard it. So then it's not as much like, don't leave me. It's like, oh, you're, you know, and you could call it, I'm gonna call it banana. So I'm gonna say to you, banana, oh, mom's doing her banana thing, whatever it is. And I do think it makes that boundary setting, it's never easy, but it makes it a little less than impossible. You know?

• 31:15Speaker 01

  That's great. I love that.

• 31:21Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I don't know about you, but by the time September rolls around, I am ready for cozy season. That's when I start thinking about Thanksgiving plans and travel that allows me to spend quality time with my family. I'm thinking board games, changing leaves, maybe even a living room with a fireplace where we can read our books together. Maybe you're the kind of family that loves an adventure and wants a cabin in the mountains somewhere. Or maybe you're dreading the end of summer and need to look forward to staying at a home on the beach with a view of the ocean. Or maybe you love to cook, so you want to stay in a home with your dream kitchen. Wherever you're traveling. plans take you, it's the perfect time to get a little reset together as a family before the holiday season and craziness begins. But here's something you may not have considered. If you're planning to go away this year, leaving your own space empty,

• 32:06Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  you can list it on Airbnb while you're away to give another family some quality time in a home away from home. You get to make use of your space and you can earn some extra income to put toward your family's future travel plans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host. Here's a question parents ask me all the time. How can I help my kid take ownership of their routine? I love this question because owning a routine is such a good way for kids to build independence and confidence. It's why I'm excited to tell you about Yodo, the screen-free audio player for kids. In the mornings, your kid can wake up with Yodo's alarm clock. When your kid gets home from school, Yodo has focus tracks, audiobooks, music and learning content.

• 32:48Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  One of my kids really likes to write and record their own stories with the make your own cards. Then at night, your kid can build a wind down routine with Yodo's toothbrush timer, white noise and night light. With the right sounds, stories and a bit of structure, thanks to Yodo, mornings feel more manageable. Homework time feels calmer and winding down before bed becomes something kids can run themselves, making the whole school year feel a little easier for everyone. Use the code DRBECKY15 for 15% off your order at yodoplay.com. New customers only, ends October 31st. Terms apply, offer valid on select products only.

• 33:29Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And Leslie, what do boundaries mean to you? Like when you talk about setting boundaries, like what, what did you used to do? Did you have a different definition of boundaries than you do now? Was it just never a word in your vocabulary?

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Wasn't really a word in my vocabulary. I didn't really understand it.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  And um.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  I mean, what are they, you know, when I think about it, you know, I just, yeah, I just finally think I have a defined self. I know, I know where I end and where other people begin.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  And so I just, I'm, I'm aware for the first time in my life that other people, yeah, that, that's not a reflection on me. That's, that's not about me. I, you know, I used to take, um, this poor person, you know, I,

• 34:25Speaker 02

  it wasn't totally not her fault, but as a result of all this childhood mess, you know, I, like if, because I felt like I was working so hard to make her happy, right? Like, you know, I'm, I'm working so hard, you know, and, and not, not just to make her happy, but I want her to be happy. Me? That, yeah, yeah. That, that every, that anytime she's in a foul mood or, you know, that it's about me.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  You know, like it's, it's just weird. It's this weird thing, you know, when you're raised by this narcissism thing, you know, you can take on some of the traits that, yeah, that everything somehow becomes about you. It's like, you know, so a boundary, what a, it's, it's just set me free so gloriously. And not every, not every mood is about me. Most of them are not about me. Now, I, you know, I don't have to take them on. Then when somebody says, when somebody says they need space, that doesn't have to be about you. And you can see that I can say that? I, I'm allowed to say I need space and that I, I'm allowed to put myself on the list in that way? Cause there's also the, the martyr thing. There's this weird thing that happens, or certainly was happening to me, is that you can't help but be resentful.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  There's a part of you that is tired, that feels taken advantage of. There's a part of you that you're not listening to and you're taking that out on people. They didn't even ask you to do that. They didn't ask you to treat yourself like garbage so that you could put them first, you know? And so then any problem that they have, you're flying off the handle because you haven't taken care of yourself. But nobody asked you to do, yes, it's this weird thing. And so boundary, I've said it, I, I, I know where I end and where other people begin. Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  You know what's interesting about that is I feel like balance is such a weird, a tricky word because nothing's ever really fully balanced in our lives. I mean, you know, some version of it, I think, but I think having some version of balance where with a loved one, if it's, you know, if it's with my kids, I'm trying lately to do like 20 minutes, starting slow, 20 minutes of just actively putting my phone to the side so that I can have that one-on-one time with my kids so that they see it, you know, so that when I do need the space, I can, I have a little bit of that balance. And same with relationships, you know, with, with us, it's, you know, now that we've been doing that work and having some sort of self-care.

• 36:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  When we do actually need that space, I've, I know I've been kind and loving to him because I've been in myself, you know, for, for me, I started Lexapro this summer and I, for years, I've always had this up and down with depression and mostly started with anxiety and I just, you know, you start to gaslight yourself and you think, I don't, I don't need to do it this way. I, I can just like, you know, go to therapy, do the health thing and exercise and all that. And this summer, it really, Sarah Brel is really helped me because she was very vocal about it and she was just vocal about how life-changing medication can be. And I, so I decided to try that myself and like the idea of having

• 37:45Speaker 01

  a little bit of help to just balance myself so that I can be in myself again. It was so emotional at the time and I, I started it and it's life-changing. It's been life-changing for me. I feel like I can be myself again and I can be.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  Resource and able to, you know, have a little more balance in my life so that my kids, when I do take boundaries, when I do set boundaries, they don't think it's about them. You know? Yeah.

• 38:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  First of all, thank you for sharing that.

• 38:22Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Is there, is there a specific moment, like anyone that comes to mind that you're like, I just feel like pre-summer me might have done X or felt X about something and now I see it as Y?

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I mean, really, motherhood was, it was so challenging for me because I would have days where, and I talk about this with one of my best friends, she has two toddlers, two, you know, she's in the thick of it right now. And she was saying, there, there are some days where I, I feel like I can count on one hand, or I can count just a small amount of wins of where I'm like, I got this. And then most of the rest of the time, you're just like, trying to survive. And, and it really felt like that all the time for me. And there were mornings where I would wake up and I was so deep in it that I just like, didn't want to get out of bed.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  And I, you know, I just felt like, why am I not, why am I not doing a good job at this? And I, I think, you know, Les has been telling me, he's like, you do do a great job. But it was just internally what I was going through. I, I just could not, any, any little thing would just make me feel depleted and like, this is so hard. And now if my kid has a meltdown, I don't feel like the whole day is ruined and like, I've just completely failed and like, this is the hardest thing ever. I'm, I'm able to just let it wash off my back and, and, and know that we're doing the best that we possibly can. And I can still have a great day.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  And it, I really was not having that in the summer.

• 39:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You know, I, I recently thought that like, some days in, in the toddler stage and the, there's so many hard stages, but the meltdowns and the whining and- You know, I think people are surprised to hear me say like, sometimes the only the only true difference you can have between a day is whether it feels impossible or hard. Like hard is sometimes the best it gets.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 40:18Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Also, it sounds like some of your days and mornings were impossible.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  There were some impossible days.

• 40:23Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And that's so real when we feel that way. And it's so important to say, there's various types of support I can seek and all of them are a sign of strength, like to seek any of them. Um, and I think it's also just so important, like a parent is like, I have three kids and like, like truly the other day, like one of my kids was screaming and they're so upset and I know they were sad. They weren't invited to a slumber party. My other one is having a meltdown about not getting attention. And my baby, I see them with like a Sharpie marker on my brand new wallpaper. Like, what do I do? And I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, what? And I was like, you, you think there's any human who's gonna tell you something?

• 40:59Speaker 01

  That's gonna fix it.

• 41:00Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You survive.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:01Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You try not to make it too much worse. You, you take a deep breath and, and you give yourself something at the end of the night. And, and, and the reason I think that's so important is sometimes certain days, they don't get better than hard. Like a meltdown, nobody's like, love the meltdown. But you can get to a place where you're like, this stinks.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:23Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Not my favorite part of the day. And it's also not coloring all my day, or it doesn't color my whole identity of how I thought about myself as a mother. That gets real dark. And that's the thing that it's true. And I'm so glad you brought it up. Like, that's the thing I tell parents, like, you, you don't have to feel that way. There, there's things that can help you just go to hard.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And also just like, um, it also makes you more equipped to deal with it in a way that, that will help them get through it so much faster.

• 41:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So true.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  You know, if, if I'm not spiraling with the tantrum and I can keep my calm and, um, he repairs so beautifully at times and it, and it, it's surprising and beautiful and, um, I'm able to feel more present and more joy when I see it, when I feel it. So, yeah, if that helps anybody.

• 42:18Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Oh, my goodness. That's gonna help everybody.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  I hope, yeah.

• 42:26Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Here's a question parents ask me all the time. How can I help my kid take ownership of their routine? I love this question because owning a routine is such a good way for kids to build independence and confidence. It's why I'm excited to tell you about Yodo, the screen-free audio player for kids. In the mornings, your kid can wake up with Yodo's alarm clock. When your kid gets home from school, Yodo has focus tracks, audiobooks, music, and learning content. One of my kids really likes to write and record their own stories with the "Make Your Own" cards. Then at night, your kid can build a wind-down routine with Yodo's toothbrush timer, white noise, and nightlight. With the right sounds, stories, and a bit of structure thanks to Yodo, mornings feel more manageable. Homework time feels calmer, and winding down before bed becomes something kids can run themselves,

• 43:11Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  making the whole school year feel a little easier for everyone. Use the code DRBECKY15 for 15% off your order at Yodoplay.com. New customers only, ends October 31st. Terms apply. Offer valid on select products only. I don't know about you, but by the time September rolls around, I am ready for cozy season. That's when I start thinking about Thanksgiving plans and travel that allows me to spend quality time with my family. I'm thinking board games, changing leaves, maybe even a living room with a fireplace where we can read our books together. Maybe you're the kind of family that loves an adventure and wants a cabin in the mountains somewhere. Or maybe you're dreading the end of summer and need to look forward to staying at a home on the beach with a view of the ocean. Or maybe you love to cook,

• 43:55Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  so you want to stay in a home with your dream kitchen. Wherever your travel plans take you, it's the perfect time to get a little reset, together as a family, before the holiday season and craziness begins. But here's something you may not have considered. If you're planning to go away this year, leaving your own space empty, you can list it on Airbnb while you're away to give another family some quality time in a home away from home. You get to make use of your space, and you can earn some extra income to put toward your family's future travel plans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com/host.

• 44:34Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Tell me about proudest moment recently for each of you in parenting? And also hardest hardest moment or hardest thing, the hardest part of it. And it could just be a proud moment that felt like a really high bar. Sorry, like I'm just gonna bring that bar down.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Proud is, I'll tell you, you're proud of you. The video you sent yesterday of Abel waking up. You know, because they happen, they happen like that.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, we'd been going through a really hard phase, which has been like on and off for the last, I don't know, month or two. But our son, who who's still, he's just so sweet. He had been waking up in the mornings and and with me especially. Just like one thing would set him off and then the morning would be just really challenging. And he woke up the other morning and he looked out the window and he was, he was just went straight to the window and he was looking at the sunrise. It was a beautiful pink in the sky. And he's so, you know, observant and curious.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  And he was just looking at the sky and saying, look how beautiful it is, Mama. And then he was talking about the clouds and saying, I wish I could eat the clouds.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  They're clouds for breakfast.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Oh, and eat the clouds for breakfast. They taste like marshmallows.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  And then he had had a fit, a tantrum the night before and he's in a bit of a destructive phase. So he had been like throwing stuff and he threw this vase that I really love and it chipped some of it off. And he went and he grabbed the vase and he said, I'm sorry for breaking this, Mama. On his own. And he was like, but look, it's only a tiny piece. I think we can fix it. And he also said, because last night I said, I really loved that vase. And he, so today, this morning, that morning, he woke up and was like, I love it too. And it was just like.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  She sent me the video of it. It's very sweet.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  I grabbed the, because he was going on and on about the sky and then I didn't know he was gonna go pick up the vase. Oh, my goodness. It's moments like that where you're like, they are listening. And and he was able to, you know, in a moment of calm and and beauty and it was it was very sweet and and it felt that was a definite proud moment.

• 46:57Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And and look, I mean, the kids who notice everything, there are kids who notice more than other kids. Like, my middle is like this. Like, she sees things, she smells, like, she won't go in any New York City garage. But and not because, by the way, none of them smell great, but she describes this smell that I don't smell at all. And I feel like in the past, people would say that kid, like, you're dramatic. Like, I'm like, you are a super censor. You smell things, you notice things, right? And you also then feel things more intensely. You do. I I think so many of those kids do become performers. They become the comedians who notice all the little things that the rest of her are like, oh, yeah, it is like that. But we would have never put it together. And it's hard to be

• 47:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  a kid who's so perceptive and kind of absorbent in the world, which results both to the things he struggles with and to these amazing moments of appreciating the beauty and, you know, the the imagined taste of a cloud, right?

• 47:58Speaker 01

  I know. So sweet.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  I was proud of Lucy this morning. You know, it's a small thing, but able, you know, he's four, so he was he was missing it, but she wasn't taking the bait. I was very proud of her. She was she was being a very good big sister. She was trying. She really was trying to be the bigger person. She was, you know, she was trying to connect with him. She was trying to watch the thing he wanted to watch. And he was missing it, but she was. And it was frustrating her a little bit, but she wasn't taking the bait. She didn't go where he went.

• 48:35Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  You know, and so I was proud of her.

• 48:38Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Sounds like she's some boundaries. Like, whoa, you're doing something there, and I'm not going to fully.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  She's learning the boundaries.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good. We have to. We have to, like, we we had a few conversations with her about that. And this morning, anyway, she was able to remember.

• 48:54Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, you know, something I always think about those moments, and I haven't thought about it between siblings. I haven't even said this to my own kids, but I think about it whenever my kid is like.

• 49:03Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Like asking me to join in something that I know is gonna be unproductive. You know, it's like, it's like inviting someone to like a horrible party. It's like, do you want to come to a party where we're both gonna be yelling? We're both gonna probably cry, it's gonna be power struggles. And you know what I'd say? I'd be like, no!

• 49:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Absolutely not. That sounds like a horrible party, you know? And our kids keep inviting us.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 49:24Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  But like, if we think about it that way with a little humor, like, they can keep inviting us. We know the kind of parties we enjoy. And it, and I even think for kids, like, there's like, look, your brother's gonna invite you to things. Some are gonna be awesome things, some are gonna be not as awesome. And we saw you say no to the kind of party that's one of the ones that wasn't gonna be fun for either of you. That was so cool, you could tell the difference, because isn't that such a life skill?

• 49:50Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  I love that. I think they'll get a kick out of that, too. They'll think it's funny. It's like, I'm not going to that party.

• 49:57Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Exactly.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  You know?

• 49:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You gotta add a little humor to these, these moments. Okay, what about the hardest? The hardest thing about parenting for each of you?

• 50:04Speaker 02

  I mean, balance is hard, especially right now, you know?

• 50:09Speaker 02

  There's just, um, and in the, in the grand scheme of things, my life is balanced. Because, um, you know, I, I've learned to work with a certain amount of unemployment, a certain amount of free time. It's, I'm never not doing anything. But you know, there's times when my, my time is not accounted for, for anybody except for myself. So in those times, I'm up with the kids and, um, you know, you sleep in, babe. I walk them and, you know, I'm cooking dinner and, you know, there's those. So I have, I can have that for months and months. And then I have a time where, you know, I'm exhausted in the morning because I have a night job.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  And I, you know, I'm exhausted in the morning and, you know, um, they're gone during the day. And I'm leaving right when they're getting home. So that can, you know, that's hard for me in this season, remembering.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Um, that it's not always like this. You know, that's, that's tough for me right now.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. I laughed because this morning he woke up.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  So funny.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  At seven thirty, I, I wake up, it was, it was seven fifteen or something. I wake up at six twenty because I try to wake up like ten minutes before the kids.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  Which I did like two days ago.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're, you're, this is no judgment.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  I know, but two days ago, I let you sleep in. So like, I, I felt like that, it felt like another one of those mornings.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  This morning, he, he woke up, came into the kitchen, we'd been up for a long time and he was like, I really thought I was waking up, I was gonna wake up and just let you sleep in for the morning and.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought for sure, oh, for sure, it's, you know, this is, it must be like five thirty. Just let me, let me, let me let Nick sleep in, they'd been up for hours. I don't know what time it was.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  But yeah, I, I think the hardest, one of the hardest things for me and, you know, uh, moms.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  It's, it's an interesting relationship with kids and I'm sure, depending on your household, whatever the parent is, that it serves the role that I serve. It's an interesting, um, role to, to take on because there's a lot.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  You sort of hold everybody's pain and their joy and their, you, you hold a lot of it. We carry so much in the day. And so, yeah, finding that, that space for myself. Finding the, the self-care, the balance of that and really, um, yeah, I think anxiety has been a huge journey for me through motherhood. It really just got exponentially bigger when I had kids. And so, I think.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Honestly, this journey of taking medication for the anxiety has really helped to show that maybe it won't be my biggest challenge. I mean, it's always, there's always anxiety and things, but you know, in our, in our relationship, you know, Les has traveled way more, you know, we both travel for work and stuff, but for so much of our relationship, he's been out of town and this and that. And so I've, you know, being at the house with the kids on my own, there's an anxiety that has come with that of, you know, if they're sick at night and I'm here by myself or whatever it is. But yeah, I think I'm in discovering

• 53:42Speaker 01

  the self-care balance, which includes, you know, that's that kind of health medication or whatever, whatever your journey is, it's getting easier.

• 53:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So before I move to my rapid fire questions at the end, I just like, what, what was it like for the two of you? For like Hamilton's meteoric rise? That was pre-kids. Okay. What, what was that like?

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  It was tough for Nick because we were for the first time, for the very first time, we were in rooms where people were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but him or whatever, you know?

• 54:34Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 54:34Speaker 02

  And, and it was tough for me because obviously, you know, I had to, I certainly felt like I had to take advantage of every single opportunity and everything, you know, I didn't really have the tools or the time, make the time to check on her, you know, really in that way. So I think it was, it was tough for Nick during that climb, during that rise. Things.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Leveled out, you know, over time and we've gone back and done repair and

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  Going back in, you know, talking about how we wanted to do it this time and we've

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've had the years to sort of, what was that? You know, and, and we don't want that to happen again, you know? How do I make sure that I don't let go of your hand in this room? You know, how do we make sure that we don't let somebody, you know, pull me away from you, you know what I mean? If I don't, um, yeah. So that it was like wonderful and strange.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was all the things. I mean, it was also so beautiful and so magical. And some of the rooms that we were invited into were insane. And just getting to watch him for the first time, in real time, watch people recognize how incredible he is, was incredibly emotional, incredibly

• 56:12Speaker 01

  a singular experience for sure. And we, we are so keenly aware of how

• 56:20Speaker 01

  what a rare moment that was and how lucky we are and how lucky we were to be able to go through that and to, but now, you know, like he said, I think, um, having grown, having had some age and some life and some, and learned more about ourselves. We've, we're entering this second time with so much more healing and so much more awareness of what we want to invite in. And, um, so it's, it's been really beautiful to do it a second time. Yeah. Yeah. And with our kids. Which is cool.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Kids, yeah, they weren't even here the first time.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  I know.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  You know, I had this thought, but when I was going back in, you know, for the 10 year anniversary, 10 years, thinking a lot about this 10, 10, 10. And this was wild. So I remembered, okay, so 10 years ago, my daughter wasn't here. I remember that. That doesn't feel like it's that terribly long ago. And this same amount of time. In theory, she'll be waving goodbye on the way to college. Like in this same amount of time, that's how fast it is.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  She wasn't here, she's here, and then she's gonna be gone. What?

• 57:36Speaker 01

  Let's not talk about gone, okay? Let's uh...

• 57:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Still, she did ask me the other day if she could live with us when she's... Some children do that. She was like, can I still?

• 57:44Speaker 02

  She can, my, my baby girl can, and my baby boy.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I don't know about you, but by the time September rolls around, I am ready for cozy season. That's when I start thinking about Thanksgiving plans and travel that allows me to spend quality time with my family. I'm thinking board games, changing leaves, maybe even a living room with a fireplace where we can read our books together. Maybe you're the kind of family that loves an adventure and wants a cabin in the mountains somewhere. Or maybe you're dreading the end of summer and need to look forward to staying at a home on the beach with a view of the ocean. Or maybe you love to cook, so you want to stay in a home with your dream kitchen. Wherever your travel plans take you, it's the perfect time to get a little reset, together as a family, before the holiday season and craziness begins. But here's something you may not have considered. If you're planning to go away this year, leaving your own space empty, you can list

• 58:38Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  it on Airbnb while you're away to give another family some quality time in a home away from home. You get to make use of your space and you can earn some extra income to put toward your family's future travel plans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com/host. Here's a question parents ask me all the time. How can I help my kid take ownership of their routine? I love this question because owning a routine is such a good way for kids to build independence and confidence. It's why I'm excited to tell you about Yodo, the screen-free audio player for kids. In the mornings, your kid can wake up with Yodo's alarm clock. When your kid gets home from school, Yodo has focus tracks, audiobooks, music, and learning content.

• 59:20Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  One of my kids really likes to write and record their own stories with the "Make Your Own" cards. Then at night, your kid can build a wind-down routine with Yodo's toothbrush timer, white noise, and nightlight. With the right sounds, stories, and a bit of structure, thanks to Yodo, mornings feel more manageable, homework time feels calmer, and winding down before bed becomes something kids can run themselves, making the whole school year feel a little easier for everyone. Use the code DRP. Becky 15 for 15% off your order at Yodaplay.com. New customers only ends October 31st. Terms apply. Offer valid on select products only.

• 1:00:01Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Okay, you guys ready for a rapid fire?

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 1:00:04Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I'm gonna go Nicolette and Leslie. Ready? First role you ever played?

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  Soccer Girl on Party of Five TV show. It was a little, yeah.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Martin Luther King in nursery school for the, for the Black History pageant.

• 1:00:20Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  One word to describe the feeling of performing?

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Oh God, you said rapid fire. I'm so bad at fast things.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  Transcendent.

• 1:00:29Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Ooh.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Emotional.

• 1:00:32Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Favorite show or movie you've seen recently?

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  Sinners.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Sinners. Yeah. Can I copy?

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:42Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Can join.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I saw it twice. I can join. Yeah.

• 1:00:46Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  A parenting moment that knocked you off your chair?

• 1:00:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Funny, ridiculous, offensive, just, oh my goodness, did that just happen?

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  I remember. This is one of my favorite stories. I remember Lucy was, um, she was like two. And, um, we had this, we had this very sweet housekeeper, um, uh, a couple of times a week in LA that we loved. And she was like the most important person in the house. I used to tell like, yo, I love all y'all, but like Maria is number one in this house. And Lucy was two, you know, and so she was, she was like, uh, I don't like you. Her name was Maria. And this one day she said, I don't like you, Marie. I don't like you, Ria. And we went out to her, but you, we will put you right out of this house. You do not, you do not disrespect Maria.

• 1:01:36Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You gotta fall in line.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. So we dragged her in her room. Yeah. How dare she, right? And then she comes back out, uh, you know, I don't like Ria or whatever. You know, she kept saying it. It was so.

• 1:01:45Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Just for the. Reaction at that point.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  So embarrassing. Yeah. And anyway, we like, you know, this is before we knew about the genius of you. We took a breath. We just reset the energy and, um, and, you know, let's make some breakfast. Let's, you know, we, and we let it go. We, we start focusing on it. And then a few minutes later, I never, I, to this day, I, I have a harder time with this than my kid. But she came on her own at two something years old. She's, she went, I do like you, Ria. I'm sorry for saying I don't like you. You know, that she came to that on her own.

• 1:02:22Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  Knocked me off my chair. That, you know, what it said to me was, as somebody who grew up in a, in a house with, where there was no repair ever. That there's something she's seeing. There's something that she's modeling where she's not too proud.

• 1:02:37Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's right.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  To, to admit when she's wrong. Yes, she's gonna make mistakes, but if she can come back and she can repair, she's gonna be all right.

• 1:02:45Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And, and you know what you did, which I think is, is so beautiful. And so you obviously have this in you. We all do. Like, doing nothing, trusting and giving time. I, I just think those three together are like the most underutilized strategy. Like, maybe I don't have to do anything in reaction. Maybe I could wait. Maybe I can trust. And, and like, she, she proved that out. I can't even tell how many times that my kids, I'm like, I know you're lying about this. And I feel the need based on all the old stuff. I'm going to my, what it face, whatever it is. What if I just wait? What, what if I wait? I mean.

• 1:03:27Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Well, exactly. Um, you know, something about waiting.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:30Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Right? So, but really, and it's, it's amazing. I can always, if I really want to go yell at my kid later, I can do that. Full permission, Becky, I'm the adult. I can go yell later if I really feel the urge to scream at my child's face. You know, but, but it usually, it's usually not the first thing on my mind after a while. And sometimes before that, my kid's already done the thing that I would have yelled at them for not doing. And we all know when you're yelled at, you know, and you made feel like you're a bad kid. You think you're gonna do the thing then? No, now, now you feel stuck and shame and, you know? So that, that's amazing. Last question. Your kids are older and someone just says like, what was your mom like? Or someone says like, what is your dad like?

• 1:04:12Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And they start the sentence like, oh, my mom or oh, my dad. And they say one thing. What do you hope they say?

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  I hope they say my mom loves me more than anybody in this world. And my mom is sweet and kind and strong. And she's also taught me to do things that I love for myself, too.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  I hope they say my dad married well. I hope they say.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  You said enough nauseatingly nice things to me.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  You know, I really hope that they say like, you know, my dad's a, my dad might be the kindest guy I know. My dad's, my dad's a kind guy.

• 1:05:07Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Thank you both. This was, this was incredible. And I, I really just say the way that you, um, the way that you share like your stories and, and put things together in this coherent way, like I just know that that, that takes, that takes like a lot of work to get there, to talk about things that were painful, to talk about lessons learned. It's, it's amazing to be in your presence and I feel grateful to be let in. So thank you.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Me too. You've been very present in our household and really helped us through a lot of really hard moments, more than you know.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  You are leading a generation of new parents. We appreciate you. Thank you for your work.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  And we'll keep texting and asking questions all the time.

• 1:05:49Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Please do. I'm finding it really hard to do any recap of this conversation because every moment felt so important. I'll tell you the things that are loudest on my mind. Number one, the power of repair. When we repair with our kids, we are cycle breakers. And we also then will see them repair with others. That's incredible. Two, boundaries. Boundaries show us where we end and someone else begins. Of course they're important. And the. I love this idea of leaving a legacy of kindness.

• 1:06:26Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So powerful. Let's end the way we always do. Place your feet on the ground and a hand on your heart. And let's remind ourselves, even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside.

• 1:06:45Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I'll see you soon.

• 1:06:56Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You know that feeling when your brain is at full capacity? Right? I mean, you have a reminder from the dentist in your email, a birthday party invitation on the fridge, and your kid just texted you about a soccer game they forgot to mention until that moment, and you just cannot remember one more thing.

• 1:07:12Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's where Skylight Calendar comes in. It's an all-in-one digital smart calendar that syncs with Google, Apple, and Outlook to help your whole family see the days and weeks ahead. And I really love the Tasks feature, which is designed to help your kid build routines around things like homework and chores. And when your kid can do those things independently, it's a huge win for everyone in the family. Skylight Calendar is so much more than just a calendar. It's something you can add to your routine to help your family work together. And right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to myskylight.com/becky.

• 1:07:52Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T.com/Becky for $30 off your 15-inch calendar. Myskylight.com/becky. You know, parents carry a lot. In fact, data show that most parents spend every waking hour caring for someone else. So if you feel exhausted and stretched thin, you're not alone, and that makes sense. And look, I also know from experience what a relief it is to find caregiving support. Finding a babysitter you trust and your kids will have fun with, that makes it so much easier to go back to work or travel, or yeah, even go on one date with your partner.

• 1:08:34Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Care.com makes it easier to find trusted, background-checked caregivers with search and hiring tools you won't find on social media. Whether you need full-time help or just part-time help with morning drop-off or after-school care, Care.com can help you find nannies, sitters, and daycares. And you can find the expertise that matters to you. Think homework help, CPR training, or experience with multiple kids. And if you're considering daycare, you can search, compare, and request tours, and could even get a discount on daycare tuition as a Care.com member. If you need more support, Care.com can help. For a limited time, you can use the code BECKY35 to save 35% on a Care.com membership.

• 1:09:18Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  When it's not you, it's Care.com.