Pod Insights Girls Gotta Eat BJ Tips, Anal, and Uncircumcised Guys feat. Shaun Galanos About this episode If you couldn't tell by the title, we have a very wholesome episode for you with love coach Shaun Galanos! We're answering all those burning sex questions you may not feel comfortable asking in the group chat – what do you do with an uncircumcised penis, how do you get into anal, what should you call guys in bed, and how do you get your partner to initiate sex more? We're also talking about Shaun's background and his intriguing past as a sensual masseur, plus we're breaking down a recent sexual encounter Rayna had (and its logistics), and discussing why bald guys give better oral. Before Shaun joins us, we're debating some hot topics (what foods go in the fridge vs. on the counter, zip fly vs. button fly), and we break down the facts/risks when it comes to lip flips/filler and oral sex. Enjoy!
Follow Shaun on instagram @thelovedrive, read his substack, and listen to his podcast We Can Do Better.
Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more.
Thank you to our partners this week:
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Helix: Get 27% off plus 2 free pillows at https://helixsleep.com/GGE.
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Transcript 23,911 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Rayna Greenberg? There's only two episodes we've ever not aired. That was one of them.
0:02 Speaker 01 Wow. And this one being the second one?
0:07 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, I just want to get you comfortable with the notion this isn't coming out, you know?
0:26 Ashley Hesseltine? This podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:28 Rayna Greenberg? Hi, guys.
0:29 Ashley Hesseltine? Hi, guys.
0:29 Rayna Greenberg? Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.
0:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Spicy episode.
0:33 Rayna Greenberg? We have a horny ass episode today. I was like, was that the horniest interview we've done?
0:38 Ashley Hesseltine? For you, maybe.
0:39 Rayna Greenberg? You were a little horny? Get out of here.
0:41 Ashley Hesseltine? I was tangentially horny for you.
0:44 Rayna Greenberg? You didn't feel like the topics are so spicy?
0:46 Ashley Hesseltine? Super horny.
0:46 Rayna Greenberg? You did like anal and dicks and I mean, oh, my dirty talk. Sexy, like new room massage? No, that's like when you lube your whole body up.
0:56 Ashley Hesseltine? What is that?
0:56 Rayna Greenberg? New room massage. It's like a
0:58 Ashley Hesseltine? What are you saying?
0:59 Rayna Greenberg? New room massage.
1:00 Ashley Hesseltine? New room?
1:00 Rayna Greenberg? New ru.
1:02 Ashley Hesseltine? New ru?
1:02 Rayna Greenberg? New ru.
1:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Like N U R U?
1:05 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, it's a porn category of like massages where people like lube their whole bodies up and just like slide around.
1:12 Ashley Hesseltine? We should sponsor that with our lube.
1:14 Rayna Greenberg? The porn category?
1:16 Ashley Hesseltine? We should do an event.
1:19 Rayna Greenberg? We just, there's massage tables all over. You had to just squirt all over your body and see if you could survive.
1:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Remember the Jell-O wrestling in old school?
1:26 Rayna Greenberg? Oh, I thought you meant like in college.
1:27 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. I never did it.
1:29 Rayna Greenberg? I don't think I did it. I was drunk a lot, though.
1:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, just doing that privately.
1:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Robin.
1:37 Rayna Greenberg? I've actually been secretly lying to you if I'm like, Brina likes, you're always like, Brina likes tubs. I'm like, so I can do Jell-O wrestling? At the top.
1:45 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes, it's a really good episode and we can't wait for you guys to hear it.
1:49 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. All right. Well, we'll thank a couple of our partners and then we'll jump right in. Thanks to Helix. Get 27% off plus two free pillows at helixsleep.com/gg and Skims. Shop Skims. Best intimates at skims.com and in stores.
2:01 Ashley Hesseltine? And thank you to Addy. Learn more at addyi.com and Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order at liquidiv.com with code
2:10 Ashley Hesseltine? Code GGE. What's up?
2:11 Rayna Greenberg? I just, you said you wanted to debate something with me and then I keep thinking of other stuff I wanted to debate with you. You know what you and I talked about the other day, which is not like dating or sex related, but like, do you know your license plate number?
2:21 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, yeah.
2:21 Rayna Greenberg? I've been wanting, I've been meaning to like ask people this for years. Cause I don't know my license plate number and I realized this because I had to end, I had to input it into like a parking thing.
2:29 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
2:30 Rayna Greenberg? And I was doing it and I was like, when I ask this, is it going to be a resounding like, what do you mean? You don't know your license plate number? But like, I don't know what normal behavior is. Also, I didn't own a car until my mid 30s.
2:43 Ashley Hesseltine? Right. Like I remember my, like one from high school, but
2:46 Rayna Greenberg? You do?
2:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, we, I had like a black plate with like a low number. You know, there's a whole Delaware license plate culture.
2:52 Rayna Greenberg? No.
2:53 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, one night we talked about at dinner, remember? And then I started sending you guys articles about it. In Delaware, it's like the number one is, goes to the governor and that gets passed down governor to governor. And then there's, I don't know, maybe there's someone else, two, three, whatever, but like low plates are like crazy high value. And then they're like black plates. Yeah.
3:12 Rayna Greenberg? When it starts with a one?
3:13 Ashley Hesseltine? No, just like lower digits, like a four digit license plate. This might be other states too, but not every state has like license plate culture. Like I had like a black plate in high school. I was like, I'm an icon.
3:25 Rayna Greenberg? Did you request it?
3:27 Ashley Hesseltine? It was in the family.
3:28 Rayna Greenberg? It was passed down from generation to generation.
3:30 Ashley Hesseltine? It's still in the family. It's like on my dad's car now.
3:33 Rayna Greenberg? And he's going to give it to your nephews.
3:35 Ashley Hesseltine? Maybe. When they get the extera, can you imagine?
3:39 Rayna Greenberg? But you can get, I don't think that exists in Pennsylvania or in California, a four digit license plate number? Like, aren't they seven or eight?
3:46 Ashley Hesseltine? That's what I'm saying. So it's rare. So, I mean, you can Google this, like, I mean, again, there might be other states. I don't think that we're that special. I do, I do think Delaware is very special, but people will auction them off and stuff.
3:57 Rayna Greenberg? I, I get it though. Like a special license plate.
4:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
4:00 Rayna Greenberg? And you guys have one in the family. It's a family heirloom.
4:06 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, so Delaware's license plate culture centers around low number plates, which are highly sought after and can be worth thousands of dollars. The plates are considered a symbol of prestige and can be passed down through generations. Literally, we have one in my family. I mean, so the first three numbers are reserved for the governor, lieutenant governor, and secretary of state. The remaining numbers are assigned to vehicle owners in perpetuity. Vehicle owners can transfer their plates to others, so they're super scarce, valuable. They indicate political clout. That's my family. I'm just kidding. You know, we're like low-key Kennedys.
4:35 Rayna Greenberg? Well, your brother is like the mayor of Dewey Beach.
4:37 Ashley Hesseltine? They can be purchased at auction when they become available to the public. They can be inherited as heirlooms. Delaware is the only state that allows private manufacture of plates for legal registration purposes. Delaware is the only place to keep porcelain plates in the modern era. We don't have porcelain, guys, I don't know. Delaware is the only state with non-standard-sized plates in current use.
4:57 Rayna Greenberg? But like, you can order like a special plate that says like that, bish.
5:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, like a vanity plate?
5:02 Rayna Greenberg? You can order a vanity plate that has four numbers, so this doesn't count as a family heirloom if you've ordered it and you didn't just get handed it. You know what I mean?
5:09 Ashley Hesseltine? No, the numbers are done. Like, you can't just be like, "I want like 5467." Like, that's someone's out there, it's worth thousands of dollars, it's probably been passed down generations.
5:16 Rayna Greenberg? Uh huh.
5:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, you could order one that it says like, "I'm that bitch," or whatever. Like, I don't know.
5:22 Rayna Greenberg? It's like-
5:23 Ashley Hesseltine? "I'm that bitch" is probably taken.
5:24 Rayna Greenberg? B-I-S-A-H. Somebody has that, right?
5:27 Ashley Hesseltine? So, I mean, I pretty much know mine. I can like visualize it, like 9UW. I don't know, but I guess like gun to my head, I don't think I could tell you it.
5:37 Rayna Greenberg? I couldn't tell you a single number or letter.
5:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh.
5:40 Rayna Greenberg? Not one, and I entered it into a machine the other day. I don't, no clue. I was sitting there like, "Why would I need this information literally ever?" But like, I'm in my car all day, every day. I walk up to like, how have I not, through osmosis, digested this information?
5:53 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, but yeah, but then, I mean, do you know my phone number?
5:55 Rayna Greenberg? I know the first six digits. And I learned this the other day because I was outside of the gate with Melanie and I realized I forgot my phone and I needed to get in touch with you, and so Melanie had to text you.
6:05 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
6:06 Rayna Greenberg? But I couldn't even tell you what some of the digits are in the last four. Do you know mine?
6:10 Ashley Hesseltine? Um, no.
6:12 Rayna Greenberg? None of them? None of the numbers?
6:14 Ashley Hesseltine? The first three.
6:15 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
6:16 Ashley Hesseltine? Maybe the first six?
6:17 Rayna Greenberg? Or the second three, 626? There is not a 6 in the whole thing.
6:25 Rayna Greenberg? You know what I always wanted, I would have died for, was a 212 number. In New York, they're so elite, and I didn't think you could even get them anymore, but you can buy one. You heard it here first, 212, you can buy them now.
6:35 Ashley Hesseltine? And Delaware, the whole state is one area code. 302, 302 for life. Okay, so what I wanted to discuss with you is,
6:44 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
6:45 Ashley Hesseltine? I got a butter dish this morning.
6:48 Rayna Greenberg? What's a butter, okay, you finish.
6:50 Ashley Hesseltine? So, I feel like there's two types of people who keep their butter in the fridge and keep their butter out room temp.
7:00 Rayna Greenberg? You did something this morning?
7:02 Ashley Hesseltine? My butter dish arrived.
7:07 Ashley Hesseltine? So.
7:08 Rayna Greenberg? I was like, well, I was ever slaving away over the outlet cover.
7:12 Ashley Hesseltine? So, this morning.
7:12 Rayna Greenberg? You were shopping for butter dish.
7:13 Ashley Hesseltine? This morning, when I was churning my own butter. No, I grew up in like a room temp butter household. So, we, my mom had, do you remember Longa Burger?
7:23 Rayna Greenberg? No.
7:24 Ashley Hesseltine? It was like, um, these baskets, before my mom started weaving her own baskets, she would get these like Longa Burger baskets, and it was probably an MLM. It was probably, but they, she would have parties and stuff. And we had like, a lot of the dishes and bowls and stuff too, with a lot of the kitchenware. And it was this like Longa Burger butter dish, but we had room temp butter, which is always, it's ready to go, it's ready to spread.
7:45 Rayna Greenberg? Do you flip it over in the water?
7:47 Ashley Hesseltine? What water?
7:49 Rayna Greenberg? You just have like butter sitting out on a plate?
7:52 Ashley Hesseltine? It's in a butter dish.
7:53 Rayna Greenberg? But it's covered.
7:54 Ashley Hesseltine? It's a cover.
7:55 Rayna Greenberg? But like, regular butter dishes, you put it into this little thing, and then you flip it over upside down, and then it is supposed to like seal it.
8:01 Ashley Hesseltine? No idea what you're talking about. I have a, it's like, uh, like wood, the butter sits on it, last top.
8:07 Rayna Greenberg? The little cloche on the top.
8:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
8:08 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
8:09 Ashley Hesseltine? So now I'm just always ready to butter something.
8:12 Rayna Greenberg? How often do you butter a thing?
8:13 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, I eat a lot of toast. And so, I just, like, I was wondering, I feel like people think that's crazy. People are like, no, butter stays in the fridge.
8:23 Rayna Greenberg? Listen, people have been doing it for years. And so, I know it is like, it's fine, I guess you can do it, I'm not a doctor or scientist, maybe I'll get a cabinet position. I'm like, I have absolutely no qualifications, you should. Hire me. But I know that people do it and it does improve the consistency is incredible. It's just my mind goes like dairy refrigerator.
8:41 Ashley Hesseltine? So yes, then I looked it up and I just, I don't think you're supposed to keep like a stick of butter out for like weeks at a time or in a really warm climate, you know, but like it's always cold in my house. We live in California. It's always cold here. Like, and I'm just, I like having butter at the ready.
8:56 Rayna Greenberg? It's a great consistency. I mean, nothing makes me more sad when I'm trying to butter something.
8:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Thank you.
9:00 Rayna Greenberg? A hard rock of fat.
9:01 Ashley Hesseltine? Thank you. What are you supposed to do?
9:03 Rayna Greenberg? What am I supposed to do? And you can't microwave it because it just turns to liquid. I'm not trying to fuck with that consistency either.
9:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Exactly, exactly.
9:08 Rayna Greenberg? Nothing is better than room temp butter.
9:11 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, I think there's a few things that I insist on being room temp that people would probably put in the fridge and nothing bad has happened to me yet.
9:17 Rayna Greenberg? Like what?
9:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Cake. You're not supposed to refrigerate cake.
9:20 Rayna Greenberg? No, I'm with you on that. Okay. I'm with you on that.
9:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Cake sits out.
9:23 Rayna Greenberg? Pastries in general, desserts, pie. I don't.
9:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes.
9:26 Rayna Greenberg? Out of the fridge.
9:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Exactly, exactly.
9:28 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
9:28 Ashley Hesseltine? So anyway, just mainly cake and butter.
9:33 Ashley Hesseltine? No, but like. Okay. What about, what about a vegetable? Okay. What about an onion?
9:39 Rayna Greenberg? I do think that onions, garlic, I think all vegetables can be left out.
9:43 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
9:43 Rayna Greenberg? You just have to eat them quickly, but some vegetables, so like avocados will ripen better if they're left out. Onions and garlic can be left out for all the live long day.
9:51 Ashley Hesseltine? Tomatoes. Don't put a tomato in the fridge, you guys. Here's something I kind of like, not a lot of people are doing this. Sometimes, sometimes I'll put a banana in the fridge.
10:01 Rayna Greenberg? Bananas are a countertop item for me.
10:03 Ashley Hesseltine? They're usually countertop, but if they start to get a little brown, I throw them in the fridge and I weirdly like a cold banana.
10:09 Rayna Greenberg? I like a brown banana. So, no, I'm lying. I don't, I like a green banana. I like them hard and raw. That's how I like them.
10:16 Ashley Hesseltine? So funny. I was like, ew.
10:19 Rayna Greenberg? Like if you.
10:19 Ashley Hesseltine? With the spots?
10:20 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, that's disgusting.
10:22 Ashley Hesseltine? If you like a sour banana, you like a green of sour.
10:25 Rayna Greenberg? Sour ass banana. Was I with you the other day? I was with somebody and they were like, this is inedible. And I was like, that is the perfect banana.
10:31 Ashley Hesseltine? You like it rock hard.
10:35 Rayna Greenberg? If it can fuck you, that's how I want to eat it.
10:40 Ashley Hesseltine? Guys, let us know in the comments if you are RoomTempl butter, cold butter, or green or brown banana.
10:45 Rayna Greenberg? I think that all produce can be left out.
10:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
10:48 Rayna Greenberg? Right?
10:49 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, I think so.
10:50 Rayna Greenberg? I don't know that there's like, you have to, okay, let me ask you. I have a couple more of these and we're gonna pivot to clothing.
10:55 Ashley Hesseltine? The fact that we said this was gonna be a horny episode.
10:58 Rayna Greenberg? We're like.
10:58 Ashley Hesseltine? And they're like, so anyway, do you guys leave your vegetables out?
11:01 Rayna Greenberg? All right, let me hit you with this next one. Condiments, which go in the cabinet, which go in the fridge, because I refrigerate soy sauce, which I don't think most people do. I think most people have soy sauce as a cabinet item.
11:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Soy sauce cabinet, I guess I don't care. I've seen like, heavy debates about this on the internet. Like, I forget who posted a clip of like, mustard in the fridge, and it was a couple, I wish I could remember, and he was like, no, I keep the mustard, doesn't need to be refrigerated. And she was like, you're a psycho, mustard goes in the fridge.
11:31 Rayna Greenberg? To me, my brain goes, you've opened this bottle, put it in the fridge. Like, the only thing I don't refrigerate is like, oil, vinegar.
11:38 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
11:39 Rayna Greenberg? Like, stuff that you also want at RoomTempl. Like, I want those things cold, mustard and ketchup.
11:43 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, how about when there's like, a big display of Parmesan cheese at the grocery store? It hasn't been sealed, it's a chunk that they wrapped in some Saran Wrap and put a price on it. Why does that get to sit out?
11:57 Rayna Greenberg? So, cheese is very specific because of the way that it's aged.
12:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
12:01 Rayna Greenberg? So, cheese, it's just, it's supposed to be aged, and so it sits out, mold is like, very normal to cheese. Blue cheese is, is cheese that's had mold injected into it.
12:09 Ashley Hesseltine? But no one has their blue cheese in the cabinet.
12:11 Rayna Greenberg? But also, that cheese is usually in a refrigerator section. It's not just sitting out warm, but cheese specifically, Parmesan cheese specifically, it can just sit out, it gets better with age, it gets those crunchies.
12:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
12:23 Rayna Greenberg? But like, I don't think, I don't think there's a shelf life, right? So you could leave it out for two days, three days.
12:27 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
12:28 Rayna Greenberg? And then you guys start fucking with that refrigerator again.
12:29 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, well, you guys are welcome, but yeah, I'm really excited about my butter dish. We ordered an air fryer, hybrid toaster.
12:36 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
12:37 Ashley Hesseltine? Oven.
12:37 Rayna Greenberg? I'm excited to see what you think about the air fryer and if you ever use it. It's one of those things that's so gigantic.
12:42 Ashley Hesseltine? It's so big. I thought we had like a compact one. It does flip up. So it's a space saver, but I'm like, this is so huge.
12:49 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, it's enormous.
12:49 Ashley Hesseltine? I think this is why people don't get them. They're like, I don't have the counter space for that.
12:52 Rayna Greenberg? Imagine in New York City getting an air fryer. Do you remember bread makers had like such a moment?
12:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, my God.
12:58 Rayna Greenberg? Bread makers, you're like, it's fun for two days and you're like, I don't really need a bread maker. But like air fryers, some people use them every day.
13:04 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, people are into them.
13:05 Rayna Greenberg? Okay, I have my next topic for you to do.
13:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
13:07 Rayna Greenberg? Then we can choose some like other stuff, but okay. So I was looking at your pants because we were both wearing these like cute jeans.
13:12 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
13:12 Rayna Greenberg? And you were like, oh.
13:13 Ashley Hesseltine? Your cute jeans.
13:14 Rayna Greenberg? Huh?
13:16 Ashley Hesseltine? Do you know that reference?
13:17 Rayna Greenberg? Of course it is the Kardashians. I saw it this morning.
13:20 Ashley Hesseltine? That episode?
13:21 Rayna Greenberg? No, I saw that, just a meme of it.
13:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Someone posted? Yeah. Okay, yeah. It's a deep cut, but like one time I said, "your cute jeans" to someone and they like didn't know. And I was like, forget it. It's, you're not even gonna, just forget it.
13:32 Rayna Greenberg? It's Kendall and Chris talking and she was like, "your cute, your jeans are so cute." And she's like, "your cute jeans."
13:37 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, I think so.
13:39 Rayna Greenberg? Okay, I want to talk about the fly on jeans.
13:41 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
13:42 Rayna Greenberg? More than half of my jeans have a button fly and I do not understand this. Who looked at a pair of jeans and it was like, you know what we should do is make this harder to put on and get off?
13:50 Ashley Hesseltine? I hate it.
13:51 Rayna Greenberg? What? There has to be a reason for it, right? It's, I'm assuming it's harder to install than a zipper because you've got to do like five of them. It's probably more expensive, a little bit more installing five snaps than one zipper. And it certainly doesn't make it an easier thing to use.
14:06 Ashley Hesseltine? No, I think my jeans that have buttons are more fupa jeans. They're not smooth.
14:12 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
14:12 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, I mean, I, I'm not even saying it's because of the buttons, but for whatever reason, like every pair of jeans that I feel like gives that more fupa vibe has a button fly.
14:22 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
14:23 Ashley Hesseltine? You're gonna break a nail. It's a crime.
14:25 Rayna Greenberg? But like, why are we doing this? Who's like, oh, what we should do is take, take pants that are already super uncomfortable.
14:31 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
14:32 Rayna Greenberg? That to sit in, to do anything and let's make it worse.
14:35 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
14:35 Rayna Greenberg? And that first button at the bottom, I mean, I have the longest fingernails. It takes me an hour to get into that.
14:40 Ashley Hesseltine? Right. And if you're trying to squeeze into them, like that is a embarrassing moment. Like if you're really squeezing into some. Like tight jeans, which I love to do it. You know what I mean? They stretch out a little during the day. Like that is, that feels nice to zip up. Like when you're trying to pull jeans over your stomach and you have to button them, you better hope no one else is in the room.
14:59 Rayna Greenberg? It's certainly not a time saver.
15:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
15:00 Rayna Greenberg? And it's embarrassing to do it.
15:01 Ashley Hesseltine? I know. I'm with you.
15:02 Rayna Greenberg? I was wondering, I was wondering if other people were like, no, I love it.
15:05 Ashley Hesseltine? I love a button fly.
15:06 Rayna Greenberg? It just, it really scoops me up and just like seals everything in there.
15:10 Ashley Hesseltine? I'm not into it.
15:10 Rayna Greenberg? I hate it.
15:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
15:11 Rayna Greenberg? It's my new campaign.
15:12 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. So we got a question that we wanted to talk about and we were like, we're not going to talk about this with Sean, but we asked our listeners different questions and this one came up and I was so excited to talk about it.
15:21 Rayna Greenberg? It was about taboo sex questions.
15:23 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes.
15:23 Rayna Greenberg? Which is what we're doing with him today.
15:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes. So we got the question, will getting a lip flip affect your blowjob skills?
15:30 Rayna Greenberg? So let's explain what a lip flip is.
15:31 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes. I have a lip flip. I have had lip flips consistently for a year and a half, maybe. And it is just a little bit of botox or Daxify. I get Daxify right at the top of your lip. And it makes your lip flip up a little bit. So people get it as a alternative or a gateway into lip filler. I don't have any lip filler, but my top lip disappears a little bit when I smile. I felt like I have a little bit of a gummy or smile and I don't want to get lip filler. So that's my alternative. So it wears off fairly quickly because you use your mouth all the time. You're talking, you're laughing.
16:07 Rayna Greenberg? Eating.
16:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Eating, yes. And so again, they just do like six units total. I think it's like three and three. And it just kind of, I mean, it makes your lip not curl up as much and just kind of makes it appear to be fuller.
16:21 Rayna Greenberg? So this girl, and I think it's like a pretty normal question. Like if you're going to paralyze the top of your lip, does it, does it make it hard to suck a dick?
16:29 Ashley Hesseltine? So I'd love to just even talk about what happens in general. Like you shouldn't really have complications when you get a good one. You know, typically like you shouldn't, it shouldn't affect your life that much, but you'll notice as it starts to set in, if you, again, Daxify starts working a little bit sooner than botox, but whatever you get done, once it kind of starts to settle in, when you like. Spit something out like you're when you're brushing your teeth, you're it feels weird. Like it feels like you don't have as much control of your lip sucking on a straw is a little bit more difficult. Like you do have, I guess, like less mobility, but then it settles in and it's fine, but you do notice that a little bit, but some people have complications with it. I guess everybody's different, but I've seen even things on Tik Tok where this girl was like,
17:12 Ashley Hesseltine? I can't drink out of a straw anymore. And I drink iced coffee every day and this is, you know, affecting my life. And some people in the comments were like, you didn't get a good one, but everybody's different, but it really shouldn't affect your dick sucking too much. You shouldn't be doing so, so much with that top lip and it's, you know, a dick is bigger than a straw. Like when you're sucking a straw, you're like pursing your lips.
17:33 Rayna Greenberg? That's what I thought. Straws are so usually so much different size than a penis. Yeah. So like you're using more facial muscles to suck a dick.
17:40 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
17:40 Rayna Greenberg? You're just like the, it's more of my jaw that's and like the sides of my cheeks when I'm sucking a dick than like the top of my mouth working. Whereas a straw, you gotta get really good in there.
17:48 Ashley Hesseltine? You're like bearing down. Yeah. And like even when you spit that water out when you're brushing your teeth or your toothpaste out, you're like, like that spitting motion. Like you have a wider open mouth when you're sucking a dick. But then I got in this hole about lip filler and sucking dick.
18:03 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
18:04 Ashley Hesseltine? They do say you should wait a little bit after getting lip filler to suck dick.
18:08 Rayna Greenberg? What's a little bit? Like, cause when you get lip filler, I've never had it. It's like, it's the one thing in my body that's perfect is my lips. You swell up a lot. Most people like balloon up and I'm assuming it's not going to be pleasant for you. It hurts. So.
18:21 Ashley Hesseltine? Don't Google lip filler blowjob because you'll just get Pornhub coming up. So I found this article. I don't know if I can vouch for it, but it just says, well, BJ's ruined my lip filler injections. And it says that if you really suck a lot of dick, it could deflate them a little bit.
18:41 Rayna Greenberg? What? But why would it deflate them? I would be worried it would displace the filler. You know, some people have that let ridge at the top of their lips and you can tell that it's filler because it doesn't actually go to the lip line.
18:52 Ashley Hesseltine? So it says your lips need a little bit of time to properly heal and allow the filler to settle in. They say wait three to five days post-injection before you suck dick, post-lip filler.
19:02 Rayna Greenberg? Wow.
19:02 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, I think that's fine.
19:04 Rayna Greenberg? I would worry about it displacing the filler.
19:06 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
19:07 Rayna Greenberg? I just, I would want it to settle where, I mean, I have plenty of friends that get lip filler and they suck dick all the time. I've never heard this complaint. But it's just like anything, you gotta get used to it. You gotta be a little careful. People always, and my nails are pretty long and people are always like, what's it like typing with that? And I'm just like, it has never crossed my mind in 20 years what it's like to type with fake nails. I just, that's just how I'm living.
19:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. So lip flip really shouldn't affect your dick sucking too much unless you're with a guy who has the dick the size of a straw.
19:34 Rayna Greenberg? Uh huh. And then in which case, yes.
19:36 Ashley Hesseltine? And then which case it could, which you're probably not putting in your mouth anyway. I don't know.
19:41 Rayna Greenberg? Doing God's work.
19:43 Ashley Hesseltine? And if you are, you're really doing the Lord's work. But yeah, I mean, it changes a little. I just, I, I love it so much and I recommend it if you feel like you have a little thinner top lip and you don't want to get lip filler, but it is so painful.
19:58 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, I watch you do it and it's hard to say.
20:00 Ashley Hesseltine? It's so quick that it's like over, but it is the most painful place I've ever gotten that type of injection.
20:08 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, you know me, I numb up like crazy. I've taken laughing gas. I don't get that done, but just to get any kind of injectables. Filler, like, I mean, you have left the doctor's office with me. It doesn't matter how great the doctors, and you and I are lucky to like have great doctors in our lives, but like, I get so upset and worked up. I get, I start to like panic. So I need like laughing gas, everything.
20:26 Ashley Hesseltine? And then lip filler, again, I've never gotten it. I can't speak on it. I do hear it's painful. And then a friend of ours had to get hers dissolved and she said it was the most painful thing she's ever experienced in her life.
20:38 Rayna Greenberg? Which is so interesting because they like, they always numb you. I mean, laughing gas is rare. I don't think that like most doctors are passing out laughing gas, but most people numb you and then it's still so bad. You know, it sounds so bad to me, though. Have you listened to any interviews with Pete Davidson talking about taking his tattoos off?
20:53 Ashley Hesseltine? No.
20:54 Rayna Greenberg? You know, he's like almost through taking his tattoos off.
20:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Like all of them?
20:58 Rayna Greenberg? All of them.
20:59 Ashley Hesseltine? No.
20:59 Rayna Greenberg? And he said that like, there's like a process by which, yes, tattoo removal in general.
21:03 Ashley Hesseltine? I heard it's the most painful.
21:04 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, I've watched it done. The smell is so nauseating. It looks unbearable and you gotta do it like, I don't know, everybody's skin's different and black tattoos can be like harder, like I, I'm, don't quote, six times you gotta do it and they're burning your flesh off.
21:20 Ashley Hesseltine? Like they're extracting like permanent ink from your body. I mean, it's gotta be a horror scene.
21:25 Rayna Greenberg? Yes. And he was tattooed, I mean, up to his fucking eyeballs.
21:28 Ashley Hesseltine? I didn't realize he was getting them all removed.
21:30 Rayna Greenberg? Yes. And he was talking about it.
21:32 Ashley Hesseltine? He just likes the pain at that point.
21:33 Rayna Greenberg? Just Google it, you guys. It's on some, it's a recent appearance on some talk show at night. But yeah, he said, you, you go through this process, you gotta do it like, he said, like 10 more times. I just, every time I get a tattoo, I'm like, I really hope I want this. And there's a couple that I would love to take off. I have a crown on my thigh, which I would love to take off and I edited it out of photos.
21:50 Ashley Hesseltine? It's so easy to edit.
21:51 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
21:52 Ashley Hesseltine? It's an easy edit.
21:53 Rayna Greenberg? But it's the smell and the sound and the pain are too, I'm a fucking pussy about pain.
21:58 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, that's the thing. I mean, like, I understand. People get tattoos. They want them taken off. And I think some people think like, I'll just get it removed. It's like, not that easy.
22:06 Rayna Greenberg? No, absolutely not. It's not like an earring. You just take it out. It closes up.
22:09 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. Or not like, you know, laser hair removal. Different vibes.
22:13 Rayna Greenberg? Well, we're about to.
22:14 Ashley Hesseltine? We're on our journey, you guys. Stay tuned.
22:15 Rayna Greenberg? I'm excited. Okay. And then there's one thing I want to talk to you about before we get into the episode. How is Wedding Planner going?
22:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Wedding planning is going really great. We are down to two venues.
22:26 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
22:26 Ashley Hesseltine? We know the date. It's the date I wanted.
22:28 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
22:29 Ashley Hesseltine? And we are deciding, but I really wanted to talk about my wedding planner because I'm just having the best experience with her. And her name's Jacqueline and she is the owner of The Wedding Plan and Company. And that is theweddingplanandco.com. And I had met her through a friend, through our friend Taylor. This was, I think, 2021 and we went to this party. You were, you were in LA that day and you left.
22:51 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, I'd been, I had been in LA for two weeks. It was time to go home.
22:54 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And we ended up going to this party and it was kind of like, you know, like things were just starting to get back to normal. Post-COVID and this woman was there and I just like loved her vibe and we hung out with her for the rest of the day. And Taylor was like, she's like this amazing wedding planner and she does weddings like all over, you know, east coast, west coast, wherever. And I just always had her in mind and we've been following each other and she saw that I got engaged and we just got on a call and I was like, she's the one. Like I want you, everything she said, you know, you, you see how people like run their business and they like get you. I mean, this is something you need somebody to get you, get your vibe.
23:25 Rayna Greenberg? This is how I feel about our marketing company for vibes and we've gone through so many people. You just want to like be on the phone with somebody and you're just like, they get it.
23:30 Ashley Hesseltine? You get it. Yeah. I even said, I was like, she reminds me of Ashley Pollard, who like runs the marketing company that we use. And just like the way she structures her business too, in like an honest way. And I think a lot of people get taken advantage of and planning weddings because everything's like, you know, obviously the prices are so inflated and things like that. And so she really got my vibe and she's been on it. And I've just loved working with her and then we're going to have her on the podcast. So closer to the wedding, down the road, she'll come on, we'll ask her all the questions and I'm so excited. We'll see what you guys want to know. We've never had a wedding planner on.
24:04 Rayna Greenberg? We also haven't had a wedding episode in a long time. I'm really excited.
24:06 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
24:07 Rayna Greenberg? It'll be great.
24:07 Ashley Hesseltine? So she is actually doing my wedding herself, which I feel so blessed. But in the company, there are like 15 wedding planners and assistants and I trust that they're all wonderful. The teams are based in Newark, New Jersey and also LA, but they do weddings all over, of course. I mean, if you guys are looking for a wedding planner at The Wedding Plan and Company, I just wanted to plug them because I'm having like such an incredible experience. And you know, I went into it like I kind, I know what I want, but I don't know even the, the name of one like venue, you know, especially here in LA. And she's shot back all these options and she even presented ones and she was like, listen, hear me out. And like kind of cool out of the box type thing. And I've just been so thrilled. And so, you know, she's wonderful, they're wonderful. Check them out.
24:48 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, it's just, there's so many ideas that not you, you specifically, but you plural like have and it's like, Raw spaces, sound really cool, but you don't think about like how much money it is to like bus in all the equipment and staff and well, my mom picked everything, but yeah, I planned a wedding. But that was like my dream, like we'll just get this raw space. How cool is it? It's like, are you ready to hire 10 different vendors?
25:09 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
25:09 Rayna Greenberg? Like I, I like what you're looking at because they just, it's turnkey. They do weddings every single weekend. They're great at it. That's what they specialize in. Their kitchen specializes in it, you know?
25:18 Ashley Hesseltine? And you know what's very funny? Like, so I had a call with her and again, I've, I've met her and I decided I wanted to work with her. We wanted to work with her and then we had a Zoom with me and her and my fiance. And like, I've never been on like a Zoom with him.
25:33 Rayna Greenberg? That is funny.
25:34 Ashley Hesseltine? Like this is before he moved here. It was like a business type energy. Like I've never sent him a Zoom link.
25:40 Rayna Greenberg? Isn't that so funny?
25:41 Ashley Hesseltine? It's like, it's weirdly funny. And like, he came into the Zoom and like introduced himself. I was like, you're being so hot. Like I kind of saw him in like almost a work environment.
25:51 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
25:52 Ashley Hesseltine? Where he introduced himself on a Zoom and I was like, babe, you stop. You're turning me on.
25:56 Rayna Greenberg? That's so funny. The first time you see your partner on a Zoom, it's been like years. I sort of like that the first time you email somebody like.
26:04 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh my God. The first time I emailed him, I was like, what's your email address? It's so weird.
26:08 Rayna Greenberg? It's so weird when it comes up and like the, when you are dating somebody, it's all sexy. And then you're like, what's your email address? I'll send it to you. I've dated people probably for six months before I emailed them something.
26:20 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. So it was just, it was cute to see him on the, the Zoom with her and he and I are just very aligned. And she's been along on the journey, but she's partially on the East Coast or she hasn't been with us every tour, but she sets me up. And then we voice note her after just like stream of consciousness. Here's exactly what we're thinking. And you know, she's really working it out. And so I'm so thrilled to like have her on and like really get into it with her when we eventually do.
26:45 Rayna Greenberg? All right. Well, stay tuned, you guys.
26:46 Ashley Hesseltine? It's going well. Yeah. And I was like, you don't have to worry about officiant. Like when I went through the menu of services, I'm like, we don't need officiant, video, photo. DJ, music, leave that to me.
26:58 Rayna Greenberg? Ashley's gonna do it.
27:01 Ashley Hesseltine? Tessa will advance the wedding.
27:05 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, Tessa does our shows.
27:07 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
27:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
27:08 Rayna Greenberg? Well, Tessa, you'll DJ it. You'll DJ the whole event.
27:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Can you imagine? Okay.
27:13 Rayna Greenberg? Well, we have a great episode for you guys. We're really excited. We're just going to quickly thank some partners and then get ready to get horny.
27:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. A perfect segue because when I eventually do any sort of welcome gifts for the guests of my wedding, those will be in the welcome bags. I said this before, but when I had my 40th birthday and I made everyone little welcome bags, that was like the first thing I went out and got was to put Liquid IV in them. So we've just been using this product for years and it really is such a great way to get extra, extra hydrated. So if that's a goal of yours, it should always be a goal that you want to stay hydrated and just feel better. We just love Liquid IV and they are these packets that you just dump into a glass of water. I really like to use ice cold water and then just shake it up, stir it up and just drink it and that's going to keep you really hydrated. We love their different flavors.
28:02 Ashley Hesseltine? I love the lemon lime. The lemon lime and the guava are my favorite. They also have sugar-free raspberry lemonade, which people really love. That's going to be a nice raspberry citrusy taste. So again, the benefits are going to be staying hydrated during long days, especially if you want, it gets hot outside and you're outside, you play sports, if you work out, whatever. If you wake up and you're just feeling kind of sluggish, that's a great time to take it. Again, the true to fruit flavors are going to be really delicious and those sugar-free flavors as well. So you can break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick plus 16 ounce of water hydrates better than water alone. Powered by live hydro science and optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and clinically tested nutrients that turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration. Three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, eight essential vitamins and
28:46 Ashley Hesseltine? nutrients, always non-GMO, vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free. So we love it. You guys should check it out. Embrace your ritual with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code GGE at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code GGE at liquidiv.com.
29:07 Rayna Greenberg? All right. And the perfect sponsor for this episode, mattresses. Helix is in every single bedroom in my house, Ashley's house, Ashley's family's house. I just, I love these mattresses. You go to the Helix website and you just take a quiz about all of your preferences. Do you sleep next to somebody? Are you a hot sleeper? Are you big and tall? What do you like out of your mattress? And then they prescribe a mattress for you. It takes two seconds. And every day I get in bed and I cannot believe how comfy my mattress is. I just roll around on that thing like, oh, I'm so lucky. Nothing is more important to me than sleep. I need eight hours. If I don't get it, the whole day is shot. And I just love sleeping on my Helix mattress. I also tend to like roll around. I like to back sleep sometimes, front sleep. I love getting boob jobs, so I do have to sleep on my back sometimes. I just, I'm a huge fan. Helps me sleep better,
29:51 Rayna Greenberg? helps me wake up better. Love, love, love Helix. Love their pillows. Every single bedroom in my house.
29:57 Ashley Hesseltine? The pillows.
29:58 Rayna Greenberg? Can't get enough of them.
29:59 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, again, I said this before, when I had evacuated, I was like sleeping in different people's houses. I brought my pillow with me. It really matters.
30:04 Rayna Greenberg? It matters.
30:05 Ashley Hesseltine? If I can't have my mattress here with me, then at least I have my Helix pillow.
30:08 Rayna Greenberg? And they give you tons of options. So you'll just take that quiz, knock it out. They will prescribe you a mattress that I know that you're gonna love. And we have a deal for you guys. helixsleep.com/gg. Get 27% off sitewide and two free dream pillows with mattress purchase and free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, a sheet set, and a mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. I have the lux. Get 27% off plus two free pillows at helixsleep.com/gg. And you guys are just gonna love it. Check it out. helixsleep.com/gg.
30:40 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, all right.
30:42 Rayna Greenberg? All right, guys. We are very excited for our guest today. He is a speaker and love coach, helping people have a better, more loving relationship with themselves and others. He is the host of the We Can Do Better podcast. His Instagram, The Love Drive, has hundreds of thousands of followers where he gives raw sex and dating advice. He offers retreats and a weekly Substack. Please welcome to the show Sean Gallinos.
31:01 Speaker 01 Wow.
31:02 Rayna Greenberg? And Roger.
31:03 Speaker 01 And my dog Roger.
31:04 Ashley Hesseltine? This is so special. Like, it's our first time with two dogs. This is like the happiest I feel like I've ever been recording with two dogs.
31:10 Rayna Greenberg? Not because your tour came out today.
31:13 Ashley Hesseltine? No, it's the dogs.
31:14 Rayna Greenberg? We've never allowed anybody to bring a dog on top of a Zulz. This is very special.
31:18 Ashley Hesseltine? And they're both just like chilling.
31:20 Speaker 01 I'm also honored to be here after the multiple cancellations that I have done.
31:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Let's talk about it.
31:25 Speaker 01 Okay.
31:26 Ashley Hesseltine? You're lucky you're here.
31:27 Speaker 01 I feel lucky that I'm here.
31:29 Rayna Greenberg? You canceled twice.
31:30 Speaker 01 I canceled twice. Once was a Zoom thing.
31:33 Rayna Greenberg? No, you were gonna come here and I confirmed with you and you're like, I've been meaning to cancel. Thank you for reaching out.
31:39 Ashley Hesseltine? That is brutal. Imagine doing that for a date.
31:41 Rayna Greenberg? I know.
31:42 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, hey, just confirming that our date tonight. He's like, oh, I was gonna cancel that.
31:45 Speaker 01 I've been meaning to cancel, yeah.
31:47 Rayna Greenberg? And I have to tell you, so we found you through our videographer. He loves you. And he really likes your content.
31:51 Speaker 01 Thank you.
31:51 Rayna Greenberg? I was like, I fucking hate this guy canceled on me. God damn it. And I was, and then I saw you moved here and so we invited you back.
31:57 Speaker 01 Well, here's the thing. I was gonna come visit in LA and then that trip got canceled, but I forgot to cancel and then you reached out. And so my bad.
32:05 Ashley Hesseltine? But you were in the middle of a move.
32:06 Rayna Greenberg? Not the first time he canceled.
32:08 Speaker 01 Not the first time.
32:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, just in general.
32:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, I was thinking of moving to LA. So I was doing like an introductory tour of LA.
32:14 Ashley Hesseltine? You were too busy with the thinking.
32:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, I didn't, yeah, exactly. But then I didn't end up coming. Anyways, then I canceled last week. I canceled last week.
32:20 Ashley Hesseltine? I know.
32:20 Speaker 01 Again.
32:21 Rayna Greenberg? Oh, she heard about it.
32:22 Speaker 01 I almost, okay, I almost made up an excuse.
32:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
32:26 Speaker 01 Like, oh, I have to be out of town or like unexpected. I was like, no, dude, just be honest.
32:30 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
32:31 Speaker 01 You're going skiing.
32:33 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, I thought you canceled for mental health.
32:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, it was mental health. You had to go skiing.
32:37 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh.
32:38 Rayna Greenberg? It was some bullshit man response. First of all, I'm walking through the farm market. I see a text come in from Sean. It fills my whole phone screen. And I'm like, what is this about to be? And it was like, my mental health.
32:52 Speaker 01 Okay, to be fair, to be fair, LA is on fire, right? Was on fire.
32:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
32:58 Speaker 01 The inauguration has been a total freaking nightmare.
33:01 Ashley Hesseltine? January was like, nobody was okay.
33:04 Speaker 01 I was not okay last week.
33:05 Ashley Hesseltine? Totally.
33:05 Speaker 01 I did go skiing and I'm much better now. But even during the ski, the ski trip, I'm like, what is happening to our world?
33:11 Ashley Hesseltine? No, can you imagine like this day of the world messes up your ski trip? Rude.
33:15 Speaker 01 Rude. During a fucking snowstorm, powder days? Okay, and I'm.
33:19 Ashley Hesseltine? I can't even enjoy skiing.
33:21 Speaker 01 I'm freaking out. Anyways, I'm really excited to be here.
33:24 Rayna Greenberg? No, we're excited to have you. And also, you said to me that you went to Santa Barbara. And I was like, oh, he goes to Santa Barbara. And you're like, and I slept in an RV. And I was like, how do I keep finding these people that live in their cars?
33:34 Ashley Hesseltine? I know.
33:34 Speaker 01 My friend's RV.
33:36 Rayna Greenberg? You don't even own it.
33:37 Speaker 01 He lives in a trailer park in Santa Barbara.
33:39 Rayna Greenberg? You wouldn't be my first guy who lived in his car, unfortunately, so.
33:43 Speaker 01 I do have a tent on the top of my truck, so.
33:45 Rayna Greenberg? Great.
33:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:46 Ashley Hesseltine? Good. That's a big truck guy. All right, guys. Anyway, Sean's here, Roger's here.
33:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, we're gonna talk about love and sex and stuff.
33:52 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, can we just talk about Roger a little bit?
33:53 Speaker 01 We can, yeah.
33:54 Ashley Hesseltine? So you've had him 12 years.
33:56 Speaker 01 12 years.
33:56 Ashley Hesseltine? And he is blind now.
33:58 Speaker 01 He's been blind half his life.
34:00 Ashley Hesseltine? But you wouldn't even guess it. Like, I don't know, I guess I haven't been around a fully blind dog. Like, he's really with it.
34:05 Speaker 01 I don't baby him. I've never, I've just like taken him everywhere. When he first started going blind, the vet was like, don't move, you know, furniture around. Make sure you keep his life stable. And I was like, oh, we're actually going on a road trip for a year. And the vet was like, well, he'll be fine.
34:21 Ashley Hesseltine? He's a dog.
34:21 Speaker 01 He's a dog.
34:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Do dogs have seeing eye dogs?
34:24 Speaker 01 I'm his seeing eye dog.
34:26 Rayna Greenberg? Sean's the dog.
34:27 Speaker 01 That's me. I'm the dog. Yeah, I'm the service animal, the service human.
34:30 Ashley Hesseltine? I'm just laughing, thinking about like getting a seeing eye dog for your blind dog.
34:33 Speaker 01 It'd be so cute.
34:34 Ashley Hesseltine? It'd be so cute.
34:35 Speaker 01 But that's me. I have to make sure he doesn't get hit by a car. And I like show him where things are. And he falls downstairs. I know, it's really.
34:41 Ashley Hesseltine? They're really a vibe. Okay.
34:43 Rayna Greenberg? Where did you go on your year-long trip?
34:45 Speaker 01 I was driving around the United States.
34:47 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
34:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:48 Rayna Greenberg? How long did you stay in each place?
34:49 Speaker 01 Anywhere from like a day to a week or something, just sleeping in the truck. Yeah, I know.
34:55 Ashley Hesseltine? It's brain is kink.
34:56 Rayna Greenberg? It really is. I hate it.
34:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, so tell us a little bit about.
34:58 Speaker 01 Wait, does that turn you on? What's the story?
34:59 Rayna Greenberg? Our video guy lives in his van.
35:01 Speaker 01 Okay, but that's like a thing now since COVID.
35:03 Rayna Greenberg? It's a Mercedes Sprinter van. It's a nice van.
35:05 Speaker 01 It's a Sprinter. It's van life is a thing now.
35:07 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, it's van life. I get served so much this content on Instagram.
35:10 Speaker 01 Are we gonna lose our listeners here? Or like, are they in for all this?
35:13 Rayna Greenberg? Oh, people, I talk about him constantly. But we're over that. That's in a past life.
35:17 Ashley Hesseltine? That was 2024.
35:18 Rayna Greenberg? So I love your Instagram, Ash. And I were looking at it. People ask you some like, pretty crazy questions. And the way you answer them is, it's great. A lot of sex.
35:27 Speaker 01 A lot of sex. Well, people really, those are the most, the highest performing videos.
35:31 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
35:32 Speaker 01 People love it. And so it's like, I pander a little bit to that because I know that it's good.
35:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, it was the most responses we got. We said like, hit us with your most quote unquote taboo sex questions that you might be embarrassed to ask. And it was like an onslaught. So, I mean, this is why we do what we do. I mean, you want to talk about this stuff, normalize it and everything. So.
35:51 Speaker 01 It's fun, too.
35:52 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
35:52 Rayna Greenberg? And it's fun to see the buckets that come in. Cause I think that we've talked about the same stuff a lot over the years. Like, it just keeps coming up and people still have a thirst for like, but really, how do I do anal?
36:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:02 Rayna Greenberg? You know?
36:02 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. Well, really, what do you do with an uncircumcised penis? So when I first, I went to your.
36:07 Speaker 01 We could talk about that.
36:07 Ashley Hesseltine? So I went to your Instagram.
36:09 Speaker 01 We're gonna do show and tell.
36:10 Ashley Hesseltine? That was one of the first videos that came up. And it's just funny because it's like, you just, you'll figure it out. I don't know. It's not a thing.
36:17 Speaker 01 Well, it's, it's interesting. I just had sex with someone recently and she had never experienced an uncircumcised penis before. And I had to like, kind of walk her through it a little bit.
36:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Like pulling it back?
36:27 Speaker 01 Pulling it back. Like, how does it work? Don't pull it back too far.
36:31 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, we don't usually have to pull it back. Like, when it gets erect, it comes out.
36:35 Speaker 01 Sometimes. Sometimes, no.
36:37 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh.
36:37 Speaker 01 Depending on how much foreskin you have.
36:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh.
36:39 Speaker 01 You know, there's even a scale of like length of foreskin. It's called the C scale or something. It goes from C1 to C9. The more foreskin you have, the higher the number.
36:48 Ashley Hesseltine? What number are you?
36:50 Speaker 01 I think I'm like a C6.
36:51 Ashley Hesseltine? Does yours go back automatically?
36:53 Speaker 01 Uh, no, not necessarily.
36:55 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
36:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:56 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, so when we watch Naked Attraction, some of those foreskins like, were like an unrolled turtleneck, just hanging on.
37:02 Speaker 01 And if it's erect, it's still gonna have a little, it's gonna have a little tip there, like a little, yeah, anteater situation.
37:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Yeah. In my experience, I haven't had to pull back.
37:11 Speaker 01 It just would pull back on its own.
37:12 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
37:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:13 Ashley Hesseltine? And you don't even, I'm like, oh, it's just a regular dick.
37:15 Speaker 01 Well, a regular dick would be sort of the uncircumcised one.
37:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Sorry. It just looks like an circumcised dick.
37:21 Speaker 01 But also when you're giving head, sometimes you can manipulate the foreskin in a way that it would go back over the glands. Right?
37:29 Ashley Hesseltine? You can pull it back.
37:30 Speaker 01 Like kind of the wizard, you pull it back up and down, up and down, sort of like a wizard's sleeve.
37:33 Ashley Hesseltine? It's like.
37:34 Speaker 01 The Jell-O thing, the C cucumber.
37:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes.
37:37 Speaker 01 Yes. Those things are incredible.
37:39 Ashley Hesseltine? But we'll circle back and we'll talk a little bit more about you. We started kinda hot, but I just don't want any women to be intimidated or scared. It's just, you're gonna be fine. You know, like-
37:48 Speaker 01 You're gonna be fine.
37:49 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And hey, more dick.
37:52 Speaker 01 More, a little more dick. A little more dick. I've, I've heard from women that they actually prefer the, they can feel the difference during penetration.
38:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Remember that one night?
38:01 Rayna Greenberg? Really?
38:01 Ashley Hesseltine? Were you there that night? We were at Jackie's studio, that really cool studio. We had dinner, all those girls.
38:07 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
38:07 Ashley Hesseltine? And we run around the table and we just started talking about the best sex you've ever had with a bunch of women. And everyone had like an uncircumcised guy. That was like their top. So I don't know if there's a correlation there.
38:19 Rayna Greenberg? I feel like I'm outside the culture.
38:20 Ashley Hesseltine? I vouch for it.
38:21 Rayna Greenberg? I don't really come across these very often.
38:23 Speaker 01 It depends who, I mean, van guys usually are gonna be uncircumcised.
38:27 Rayna Greenberg? No.
38:27 Speaker 01 Oh, really?
38:28 Rayna Greenberg? Well-
38:29 Speaker 01 Harder to keep it clean in a van.
38:34 Speaker 01 For sure.
38:35 Rayna Greenberg? He always smelled fine. But like, I don't come across it a lot. Like, when you're in Europe, you come across it.
38:40 Speaker 01 Of course.
38:40 Rayna Greenberg? Like, the European dicks I've had.
38:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:43 Rayna Greenberg? And like, honestly, everything outside of America, it's not so common to be circumcised in the rest of the world. It's very American.
38:48 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, it's very American.
38:49 Rayna Greenberg? And Jewish. But like, Jewish people are circumcised, but otherwise, Americans, and that's kinda it.
38:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, pretty much.
38:54 Ashley Hesseltine? I've seen even other podcasts talk about it. Like, it's, whoa. And it's just like, ladies, nothing to be scared. You've got a little more dick to work with. It's like a fun little-
39:03 Speaker 01 Party trick.
39:03 Ashley Hesseltine? You know?
39:04 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
39:04 Speaker 01 Well, also, when masturbating, you don't need lube. It is the lube.
39:08 Ashley Hesseltine? It has its own cable.
39:08 Rayna Greenberg? Wait, really?
39:09 Speaker 01 It has its own, yeah. Cause you just pull the skin up and down-
39:12 Rayna Greenberg? Oh.
39:12 Speaker 01 As sort of-
39:13 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
39:14 Speaker 01 Masturbation, yeah.
39:15 Rayna Greenberg? The majority of the world deals with this. We just don't in America. So it is like, people have figured this out.
39:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, and you do have to keep it clean. It does require extra-
39:23 Ashley Hesseltine? Extra cleaning, yeah.
39:23 Speaker 01 Extra cleaning, yeah, for sure.
39:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Which, you know, hopefully you do, they do, whoever does.
39:28 Speaker 01 Well, you cannot, you know? Some people don't. Some people don't.
39:31 Rayna Greenberg? No, some people really don't. So our friend's boyfriend is a doctor and he was at my house this morning and I was talking to him about, he was asking me who we're interviewing. I was like, telling him about your clip.
39:39 Speaker 01 The uncircumcised expert, Sean Galanos.
39:43 Rayna Greenberg? I describe it to other people.
39:44 Speaker 01 Uncut coach.
39:45 Rayna Greenberg? Yes. He was like, he was like, I've seen some pretty bad infections.
39:49 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, God. So, I didn't know if you knew about this, and I guess this is gonna be a big reveal, but I do talk about this in my standup a bit. And I am kicking off my tour on-
40:01 Ashley Hesseltine? National foreskin day.
40:03 Speaker 01 Oh, good.
40:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Did you know?
40:04 Speaker 01 That there's National Foreskin Day?
40:05 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes.
40:06 Speaker 01 I'm not surprised there's National Everything Day now.
40:08 Ashley Hesseltine? It's 4/4.
40:09 Speaker 01 No.
40:11 Speaker 01 4/4/25.
40:13 Ashley Hesseltine? It's, it's National Foreskin Day is 4/4. And that's all I'm gonna say because come see me, yeah, buy tickets.
40:20 Speaker 01 Come see it live.
40:20 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, come see it live, exactly. But anyway, so happy early
40:24 Speaker 01 Yes, thank you.
40:25 Ashley Hesseltine? National Foreskin Day to you.
40:26 Speaker 01 And to you as well. And to you as well, yeah.
40:29 Rayna Greenberg? No one wished it to me.
40:31 Speaker 01 No, to both of you is what I meant.
40:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Not to you.
40:33 Rayna Greenberg? I'm not really in the culture that much.
40:34 Ashley Hesseltine? And your Jewish brothers and sisters. They do not get to celebrate.
40:36 Rayna Greenberg? No, definitely not.
40:38 Speaker 01 No.
40:38 Rayna Greenberg? Okay. Jews don't have that.
40:39 Speaker 01 They don't. Well, some of the, you know about Jack? Jews Against Circumcision.
40:44 Ashley Hesseltine? That's like an activist group?
40:45 Speaker 01 It's a group, yeah, an activist group.
40:46 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, I think whatever you want, I understand that some people see it as like mutilation and, and not letting somebody decide what they're gonna do with their own body.
40:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:54 Rayna Greenberg? You can do whatever you want with that.
40:56 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, I'm sure it goes both ways. I'm sure there are adults that look back and would be like, I wish mom and dad did do it, right?
41:06 Speaker 01 Did?
41:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Did, and-
41:08 Speaker 01 Like circumcise me?
41:09 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
41:10 Speaker 01 No, cuz they could just do it then.
41:12 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, but then, I don't know, like, remember the Sex and the City episode? Isn't it so painful as an adult?
41:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's, it's not, it's not something you wanna go into lightly.
41:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes.
41:22 Speaker 01 But also, I think there are more people that regret getting circumcised than don't.
41:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Than don't, okay. I, I can't speak on it. I'm just saying, like, there's gotta be two camps of like, do you think there's men out there that wish they were circumcised and then they wish their parents just did it back then?
41:36 Speaker 01 I just don't see why you would, unless you had like some sort of condition, some sort of like medical issue, or if there was like phimosis, which is like a too tight foreskin where the glands doesn't, doesn't like come out.
41:47 Ashley Hesseltine? It's like a Spanx.
41:48 Speaker 01 It's like a Spanx for the, for the glands, yeah.
41:51 Ashley Hesseltine? Like a sausage casing?
41:52 Speaker 01 And it can get kinda grody in there for sure.
41:54 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, okay.
41:55 Speaker 01 See, I am like an OBGYN.
41:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
41:58 Rayna Greenberg? Dr. Shaw. I actually went to a circumcision recently. Bet you didn't expect that.
42:02 Speaker 01 For, for an adult one?
42:06 Speaker 01 I'd love to, like, if I ever got circumcised, like-
42:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Get that activist group in here because they're like, that should not be happening.
42:12 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, I was dating somebody and I was like, I insist you do it. No, I'm just kidding. My nephew was circumcised recently.
42:16 Speaker 01 You went to a bris?
42:17 Rayna Greenberg? I went to a bris.
42:18 Speaker 01 How was it?
42:19 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, I was in London and my brother's like, can you get over here? We're gonna do a bris. And I was like, now? Like, in the kitchen right now? I could skip this. And he's like, no, come, we'll take pictures. And I was like, I fucking hate you. So, me and him and his wife and the baby. And the rabbi comes, but he's a doctor. And he stayed with us for like, three hours. And it was like, really nice. He made sure that like, the baby was okay, that he had like, topical cream. He wasn't crying. He like, nursed, like, I don't know, shook the baby?
42:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:44 Rayna Greenberg? Nursed the baby?
42:45 Ashley Hesseltine? Rocked it.
42:46 Speaker 01 Rocked it, yeah.
42:47 Rayna Greenberg? Neither of those things.
42:47 Speaker 01 Rocked that fucking baby.
42:48 Rayna Greenberg? Rocked that, he kicked it across the room. He punted it.
42:53 Speaker 01 To like, get it, like, to not stop thinking about the penis.
42:56 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
42:56 Speaker 01 You kick it across the room.
42:57 Rayna Greenberg? Well, they're football sized. I mean, how could you not?
42:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
43:00 Speaker 01 Was it, was there a moil? What's the moil?
43:02 Rayna Greenberg? It's a moil.
43:02 Speaker 01 Okay.
43:03 Rayna Greenberg? So, that's the rabbi that does the bris. And they're also a doctor.
43:05 Ashley Hesseltine? We are gonna be on from, so just to click, so sex and blowjobs. If you are a woman who is dealing with a guy with an extra-long foreskin, let's say, that doesn't automatically go back.
43:16 Speaker 01 Pull it back.
43:16 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, do you think he should be responsible for pulling back? Or should you, or is that mix it up?
43:21 Speaker 01 No, you can pull it back.
43:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
43:22 Speaker 01 Anyone can at, at any point.
43:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Do you think there's women out there that are like, can he do it? I don't wanna-
43:28 Speaker 01 You know what? I got a message.
43:29 Ashley Hesseltine? Can he take the turtleneck off?
43:30 Speaker 01 I said something like, just pull it back. It'll look like a, you know, a quote-unquote, "normal penis." And she was like, ew, I'd rather if you did that. That's not my job. But it's like, what, if I have to, like, pull your lips apart? Like, is that your job?
43:42 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, I wouldn't want somebody to like, treat me and my body like that.
43:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:45 Ashley Hesseltine? That's such a good comparison.
43:47 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
43:48 Ashley Hesseltine? A guy's like, I can't find your clit. Could you separate your lips?
43:55 Ashley Hesseltine? Sorry, your labia's in the way of your clit. Could you pull it back?
43:57 Rayna Greenberg? Most people like that, honestly. No, I'm still-
44:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Anyway.
44:00 Speaker 01 So, so, do whatever you feel is comfortable. And if, and if you're unsure what to do with it, just ask.
44:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
44:07 Speaker 01 Ask your person.
44:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Exactly.
44:08 Speaker 01 That's, that's it.
44:09 Rayna Greenberg? So, you wrote this thing on, on your site. Cause we, we asked people what taboo sex questions they had. We got hundreds and I couldn't even get to the bottom. There were so many of them. And so many of them are things that Ash and I say all the time. If you just said the words out loud and asked your partner, like, you could ask for what you want. You could explain something that you wanted. And I read on your site, it turns out asking for what you want is the best way to get what you want. And I love that, like, notion, but I think it's like, very scared to ask people. Like-
44:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:33 Rayna Greenberg? I'll tell you guys about it later, but I had like, a sex experience recently. And I was like, I don't know how to like-
44:37 Speaker 01 Well, why later? What, what's happening later?
44:39 Ashley Hesseltine? When, in 30 minutes?
44:41 Speaker 01 Let's go, let's go.
44:45 Rayna Greenberg? Well, a lot of the questions circled around like, how do I ask him to be more exploratory? And things like that.
44:50 Speaker 01 People want language.
44:50 Rayna Greenberg? They want language.
44:51 Ashley Hesseltine? Explicit language.
44:52 Rayna Greenberg? And sometimes I think like asking, like flipping it around and saying, well, what do you like? What can I do with you? Well, it'd be exciting for you. And just showing somebody you're also open to different things is a good like gateway into this. So I tried a new thing in bed that I'd never tried. And I've heard about it. I've seen other people.
45:08 Ashley Hesseltine? You've seen TikToks about it?
45:09 Rayna Greenberg? What is it?
45:10 Speaker 01 Wait, what is it?
45:11 Rayna Greenberg? He was like, lay on your back, hang your head off the bed. And I was like, oh, you're gonna fuck my face. This has never happened to me before. Like, they stand over you.
45:19 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
45:19 Rayna Greenberg? And like, you know. So I did. And I was like, I kind of knew what was gonna happen, but it's never happened to me. Cause I've seen it porn.
45:26 Ashley Hesseltine? You were like blowing him with your head?
45:28 Rayna Greenberg? My head hanging off the bed.
45:29 Ashley Hesseltine? Hanging off the bed.
45:29 Rayna Greenberg? And he like walked up.
45:30 Ashley Hesseltine? Very like Spider-Man kiss.
45:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, with the cock.
45:32 Rayna Greenberg? Yes, exactly.
45:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:36 Rayna Greenberg? Okay. But as I'm doing it, I'm like looking up at the sky and they're standing above you. And he had huge balls. And they were on my face.
45:44 Ashley Hesseltine? So weird, right?
45:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
45:45 Rayna Greenberg? And they're like right in my eye sockets, the two balls.
45:49 Speaker 01 The original teabag, the full on teabag.
45:54 Rayna Greenberg? At first it was my forehead. I'm trying to get more comfortable while this is happening.
45:57 Ashley Hesseltine? You're like, excuse me?
45:58 Rayna Greenberg? Yes. And they were so big. And so I, they're in my eye sockets. And then I get to the point, I move them down, but they're on my cheeks. They're resting on my cheeks. At which point my eyes are free to open my eyes and look directly into his butthole.
46:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
46:12 Ashley Hesseltine? The way you two just connected over this whole experience, I really liked it. Like, you're like, exactly. Yep. And now you're just.
46:19 Speaker 01 I mean, I could, cause I, cause I've been there before, but also I could just picture the whole thing and how it might be uncomfortable as a first timer.
46:26 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. Well, yeah. Not a lot of firsts for me. Like, I've been having sex for a while. There's not a lot of firsts for me. But I was like, well, this seems like something he's into. I want to be like game for it.
46:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
46:36 Rayna Greenberg? And it opens up the door for me to do some weird shit later.
46:39 Speaker 01 Like what?
46:40 Ashley Hesseltine? True.
46:41 Rayna Greenberg? I'm like, you knew your balls were on my cheeks. So I stared up at your butthole.
46:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, like I'm, I'm not shaming it anyway. I don't know if like the balls as a blindfold are for me. Like that's gonna throw me off a little.
46:55 Speaker 01 Like yoga, you know, it's like restorative, kinda like when you're at a massage and they like, they put the thing.
47:01 Ashley Hesseltine? They felt kinda nice. They were, they were just like, they were soft.
47:04 Speaker 01 You know, like buckwheat.
47:05 Ashley Hesseltine? Right, like a heated iPad.
47:07 Speaker 01 A heated iPad.
47:08 Ashley Hesseltine? When I had that shalazion, I could've used them.
47:10 Rayna Greenberg? That's how you get a shalazion though. You put some of these ball sack on your eyeballs.
47:14 Speaker 01 But let's be, let's be real here. The angle is what we're really going for in that, in that situation.
47:21 Ashley Hesseltine? So why, I would like to hear from Sean, like, why do you think he wanted to do that? Just for the fun of it all?
47:27 Rayna Greenberg? No, it's the angle.
47:28 Speaker 01 The angle. You can get, you can get deep without like a gag, maybe less gag reflex.
47:34 Rayna Greenberg? Well, as someone who doesn't really have a gag reflex, I didn't really need to do that.
47:37 Ashley Hesseltine? But that's why a guy would wanna do that. Like in his head, he's just like, I can get a better blowjob.
47:41 Speaker 01 You can get a deeper, a deeper experience.
47:44 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
47:45 Speaker 01 And there's probably a little bit of like dominating, you know, sort of like, you're kinda in a super vulnerable position.
47:50 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
47:50 Speaker 01 You can't really go anywhere.
47:52 Rayna Greenberg? I think the view must be kinda nice, right? It's like, kinda like a nice view.
47:56 Speaker 01 Oh, the view's great.
47:56 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, the view's great. Not for you. It's a horrible view for the woman.
48:01 Ashley Hesseltine? Did you finish that one?
48:02 Rayna Greenberg? No, we finished just during sex.
48:04 Ashley Hesseltine? Right, like that was like a foreplay situation. Imagine.
48:06 Rayna Greenberg? No, actually it was in the middle of sex. We were having sex and then we stopped into that.
48:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, I liked that a lot. Yeah, it's a good like palate cleanser.
48:14 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, we got right into it. How did you get into, can we back up and hear a little bit about you?
48:18 Speaker 01 Sure, yeah.
48:19 Ashley Hesseltine? We're all over the place, but like how, tell us how you got started doing all this.
48:23 Speaker 01 I'm 42 years old.
48:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
48:25 Speaker 01 I'm a single, straight, white dude.
48:29 Ashley Hesseltine? When is your birthday?
48:30 Speaker 01 September 12th, 1982.
48:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
48:32 Speaker 01 I'm a Virgo.
48:33 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
48:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, is that why you were asking?
48:34 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, I just wanna know your sign.
48:36 Speaker 01 Okay, Capricorn rising with a Cancer moon.
48:38 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, okay, okay.
48:39 Speaker 01 Fun, right?
48:40 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
48:41 Speaker 01 Anyways, 10 years ago in 2014, I was driving a taxi in San Francisco.
48:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
48:48 Speaker 01 I was broke. I needed money. I needed a job. I met this guy who was, looked cool and drove a cab and I was like, I'm gonna do that. And it was cool for about two months.
48:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
48:57 Speaker 01 And actually driving a cab was like not fun.
48:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Not an Uber, like an actual cab?
49:01 Speaker 01 This was right as Uber was coming on the scene. So this was like an actual cab where like people would hail it and it was like kind of fun. But then I got bored and my friend said, oh, you should record your conversations with your passengers. And so I did, I put cameras, microphones, lights in the cab and I called it the love drive.
49:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh.
49:18 Rayna Greenberg? With their consent.
49:19 Speaker 01 With their consent.
49:19 Ashley Hesseltine? They knew they were being filmed. This is so cool.
49:21 Speaker 01 They knew they were being filmed. I had them sign a release.
49:23 Ashley Hesseltine? Like Taxi Cab Confession.
49:24 Speaker 01 Like Taxi Cab Confession meets Love Line.
49:27 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, I love a Love Line reference.
49:28 Speaker 01 That was the idea. That was the idea. And I was both Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla and the weirdo in Taxi Cab Confession.
49:35 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
49:36 Speaker 01 And so I drove around San Francisco and had conversations with people about sex, love and dating. And it was like pretty lowbrow stuff, like what's up with shaving your balls? And will you have sex on your period? Or like, do we, how do we feel about sex workers? And it was interesting. It was really fun. And I did that for about six months and that was sort of the beginning of the love drive.
49:53 Ashley Hesseltine? Wow, okay.
49:54 Speaker 01 So that's the origin story. That's how I got started. And then I started doing like writing about it, doing videos, a podcast. I started doing some coaching and then I was talking to my therapist and I was like, I feel kind of like an imposter. And she looked at me kind of like, you kind of are. And so I got certified as a coach, started coaching properly, then doing courses, retreats, groups, and then more writing and then podcasting. And here we are.
50:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Amazing. I'm glad I asked.
50:18 Rayna Greenberg? I, I love this story. And also, I mean, I think a lot of people have imposter syndrome in the beginning. I mean, Mel Robbins will be on the show this week is a perfect example of somebody who just, at 41, just came up with this concept that kind of helped her and her life. And some friends liked it and she was speaking at like schools and churches and then did one of the first TED Talks. And like, you just have to do the tiny thing first, you know?
50:37 Speaker 01 And keep doing it. Keep doing some version of, of it, you know?
50:42 Ashley Hesseltine? I love that. And I also love that your therapist was like, you kind of are. You could get more certified.
50:47 Speaker 01 She was right.
50:48 Ashley Hesseltine? And you were like, oh, right, okay.
50:49 Speaker 01 I was totally coaching people like off the cuff, not really knowing like the strategies and the... Protocols and that made me a more effective coach once I got certified.
50:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. So do you talk to Uber drivers now, like for just for the rush of it all?
51:03 Speaker 01 No, God, oh my God.
51:04 Ashley Hesseltine? You've overcorrected.
51:05 Speaker 01 Don't talk, don't talk to me. Yeah. Don't talk to me.
51:08 Ashley Hesseltine? You, you turn it on them. You just ask your driver. You're like, so anyway, what about shaving those balls?
51:13 Speaker 01 The worst is just, yeah, no, I don't want to talk to my, I don't really want to talk to that many people.
51:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Okay. And you also, are you a certified like crisis and rape counselor also?
51:22 Speaker 01 I was, yeah. In California, back in Oakland, I got certified as a, as a rape crisis counselor. And so it would do like hotline stuff for sexual assault survivors.
51:33 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, my gosh. Wow. That's admirable work.
51:35 Speaker 01 It was interesting. I thought it was going to be harder than it was, but if you're able to say things like sexual assault and rape and talk about it in a nonjudgmental way or in sort of like a, without any fear, then that's all really the, people just want support. They want someone that they can talk to. And we had protocols about like, when they say this, say this, and here are the resources that you can give them. And we were sort of just like frontline defense. What are you smiling at?
51:58 Rayna Greenberg? I just think it's really nice. I think it's, I don't know that a lot of men just like wake up one day and we're like, I want to counsel women in crisis. What are you smiling about? I don't know.
52:06 Speaker 01 Sorry. I don't know. I thought, I don't know.
52:09 Ashley Hesseltine? This guy sucks.
52:12 Speaker 01 It was a sweet thing to do. It was.
52:15 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. So now we feel that you are qualified to continue the conversation.
52:19 Speaker 01 Okay. I thought maybe just the content, how I answered the questions was qualifying.
52:23 Ashley Hesseltine? No, it was too, but we wanted to back up. I feel like our audience is like, who is this?
52:27 Speaker 01 A little background, a little background is nice. A little background is us.
52:30 Rayna Greenberg? I used to ask people, what gives you the right? Which is like an old quote from the office, where you speak proud. And people didn't like it.
52:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Some people got it, but there was one time I was like, I think we, we both felt like it's time to stop asking that.
52:41 Rayna Greenberg? Somebody was like, the fuck did you say to me, Base? That was the tone. I'm like, what did you just ask me?
52:45 Speaker 01 Like a real, like a real expert.
52:47 Rayna Greenberg? Probably. Yeah.
52:48 Speaker 01 Probably.
52:49 Rayna Greenberg? And if you don't really know the reference, like it can sound a little rude.
52:53 Speaker 01 I wouldn't have known it, but I would have answered it.
52:54 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. Okay. We're just going to take a quick break. On topic today, Raina, I have a question for you. How would you feel if you lost your libido?
53:03 Rayna Greenberg? My sex drive? Is that like a serious question? I've never.
53:05 Ashley Hesseltine? I know, right? Well, the fact is, millions of premenopausal women are frustrated because they lost their libido. But we are here to let you know that there's a treatment called ADDY that is clinically proven to boost libido in certain premenopausal women. And this isn't some sketchy gas station pill. It's FDA approved. Talk to your doctor to see if ADDY is right for you. And again, it is clinically proven.
53:28 Rayna Greenberg? I love that women have this option.
53:30 Ashley Hesseltine? Same. You can go learn more at addyi.com. That is A-D-D-Y-I dot com.
53:37 Speaker 03 ADDY, or Flavanturin, is for premenopausal women with acquired generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner. The low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or medicine or other drug use. ADDY is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks close in time to your ADDY dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking ADDY at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you take certain prescriptions, over the counter or herbal medications, or have liver problems. Low blood pressure and fainting can happen when you take ADDY, even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic
54:21 Speaker 03 to any of the ingredients in ADDY. Allergic reactions may include hives, itching, or trouble breathing. Sleepiness, sometimes serious, can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide, including boxed warning, at addyi.com/PI, or call 844-PINK-PILL.
54:38 Ashley Hesseltine? ADDY. That is A-D-D-Y-I dot com.
54:43 Rayna Greenberg? Okay. Also, since we're just talking about being sexy today, bras. Ever since Skims became a part of, I'm crazy about their underwear, their boy shorts, their thongs, their bras. I'm wearing one of their bras right now. They have tons of colors to choose from and sizes. The Fits Everybody line is fantastic. I love an underwire bra. So I wear their t-shirt bra. I have it on in cocoa right now. I have the black. I have different shades of nude and tan. Their boy shorts as well. If you're struggling to kind of find like a full coverage underwear, it looks really sexy and it's very comfortable. It's great to wear all day long or to sleep in. Big fan of what they do. And Skims in general, great stuff on the site. PJs. Can't recommend them enough. And again, tons of colors and sizes for everybody. You guys can shop the Skims best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more
55:28 Rayna Greenberg? at skims.com and Skims stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.
55:38 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Like Raina said, I mean, we couldn't, people were chomping at the bit to give us their submissions. So should we just kind of tackle some?
55:47 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, a lot of this really that came in was about asking for what you want in bed, whether it's like to be kinkier, more exploratory, to have more sex, to try new positions. And we can tackle a bunch of this, but a lot of people really are scared to just look at their partner and say like, I want something different.
56:01 Speaker 01 Yep. I think it's the, the longer you don't talk about sex, the harder it is to talk about sex, right? It sort of just gets kind of rote. You know, you're like, oh, we don't talk about it. We have sex in a very specific way. And yet there's some desire to have more exploratory sex. And so I think it's just someone has to go first.
56:21 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And we, we talked about that, I think, early on with Ian Kerner, which when you are starting a relationship, everything's so hot and heavy and the spontaneous desire is there and it's just going great. And so you don't talk about it and then you don't have the tools. So you've never talked about it. It's always just sort of happened and it's been fine. And then it stops happening in that way. And you have never had the conversations. You don't have the language. So it's just like, talk about it early on. So you at least feel comfortable, even when things are going great. I guess what I'm saying, people wait for like a problem to arise.
56:56 Speaker 01 Yeah. If you can like build it into the early stages of your relationship, we're used to talking about sex. We're used to like doing a debrief after sex. How was that for you? What did you love? What would you have loved more of? What were you like not a huge fan of? You can get used to that. I think that's, it's going to make it a lot easier. By the way, do we think Ian Kerner has done like the most for women getting more orgasms?
57:19 Rayna Greenberg? We love him so much.
57:21 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. That book is, was a game changer for me. 100% game changer.
57:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, the book is, she comes first. Yeah.
57:29 Speaker 01 Sneaks in that were like, pretty simple, but very effective.
57:33 Ashley Hesseltine? So like, when did you read that in your journey? Like, before you got into this or like during?
57:38 Speaker 01 Oh, earlier than that, I think. Cause I've always, I've always been into it personally speaking.
57:43 Ashley Hesseltine? How to fuck better?
57:43 Speaker 01 How to fuck better, yeah.
57:45 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
57:45 Speaker 01 Oh, I also did a stint as an erotic masseur for a year. Like happy ending massages for women.
57:51 Ashley Hesseltine? You were doing that for a job?
57:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:54 Ashley Hesseltine? Raina, calm down.
57:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:55 Ashley Hesseltine? I'm, I'm fine.
57:59 Speaker 01 And I used a lot of Ian Kerners techniques, by the way.
58:01 Ashley Hesseltine? How did you get into that?
58:03 Speaker 01 This was after the taxi thing. Okay, so I have a friend.
58:06 Ashley Hesseltine? It was in the taxis.
58:07 Speaker 01 It was, was after the taxi thing.
58:08 Ashley Hesseltine? He filmed this too, actually.
58:10 Speaker 01 I didn't film it, but my friend who gave me the idea of the taxi thing also gave me the idea of, she was like, you should be like a male escort or something.
58:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
58:18 Speaker 01 I was like, yeah, okay. But then you start thinking about being a male escort and it's like, not that straightforward. There's no real marketplace for it.
58:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Uh huh.
58:26 Speaker 01 Right? There's a marketplace for female sex workers servicing men, but the other way around, it doesn't really exist. And then there was that show on HBO. What was it called? It was basically a show about a regular dude becoming like a sex worker or something.
58:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, I don't remember. What's it called? Hung.
58:41 Speaker 01 Hung. Yes, thank you.
58:43 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
58:43 Speaker 01 So I was like, oh, I could be like that guy. But the reality is that the, like, what am I doing? Like hanging out in like hotel lobbies? But I decided, oh, if females, if women can, can give erotic massages, then I should be able to give erotic massages.
58:55 Ashley Hesseltine? So like paid?
58:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:56 Ashley Hesseltine? Like through a service?
58:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:58 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
58:58 Speaker 01 And so I started doing erotic massage on, I like, I would advertise on Craigslist.
59:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
59:04 Speaker 01 For like a sensual massage for women experience. Because a lot of women were like, back then in Craigslist, there was the casual encounters.
59:10 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
59:11 Speaker 01 And I think what women were looking for casual sex, but, but the reality of looking for casual sex on the internet is like, actually not quite, not very safe. Low like success rate, right? Like you probably end up meeting a whole bunch of creepy dudes.
59:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Uh huh.
59:25 Speaker 01 Or like a waste of time. And so I wanted to offer like an experience that was like, you come, you get a massage, you get off, you go home.
59:31 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Well, also, women want a little more intimacy. Like, it's like the perfect mix of like, I want to get off, I want to have an experience with a guy, but I want it to feel a little more intimate than come over and just fuck me.
59:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I want to leave after. Like, I don't want to stay at your weird house. Or, you know, like, there must be, like, total weird dingy situations that people are getting themselves into to have casual sex.
59:53 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, there's this dance of like, when can I leave? When can you leave? Wait, you would go there, though? You would?
59:59 Speaker 01 No, they, this is, this happened at my place.
1:00:01 Ashley Hesseltine? They came to you? Do you list your, do you put your photo?
1:00:03 Speaker 01 I put a bunch of photos, but you couldn't really tell, you couldn't see my face.
1:00:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, hands, sexy hands.
1:00:09 Speaker 01 Hands, yeah, no, and I had a good description, like, you know, educated, 33-year-old.
1:00:14 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:00:15 Speaker 01 You know, the whole thing. And then I would be, like, explicitly vague about what would, what would go on.
1:00:19 Ashley Hesseltine? So, like, what did you learn from this? About, like, women's pleasure and what they want?
1:00:23 Speaker 01 It's a lot like a Rubik's Cube. It's not very straightforward, right? There's a lot of hangups that, that women have around, like, letting go, which I think makes a lot of sense. I think safety was like a very important, it's a very important piece of being able to experience pleasure and orgasm. And so, some women just didn't get there because it was such like a...
1:00:42 Ashley Hesseltine? Totally.
1:00:42 Speaker 01 Just like a weird experience. Even though I did everything I could to, like, make them feel safe and what were they looking for? What were their boundaries? You know, the whole space was, like, very inviting and warm and lovely. But what I learned the most is that I just had, most of my clients were just looking for love. Looking for, like, some loving touch.
1:01:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, a little companionship?
1:01:04 Speaker 01 Something, some, some, a sweetness with a man, you know?
1:01:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Wow.
1:01:08 Speaker 01 And it was a beautiful experience.
1:01:09 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:01:10 Speaker 01 And it was also, like, very hard to continue to do that work. It was, like, energetically expensive. To, like, give out that much care and tenderness towards strangers, basically.
1:01:21 Ashley Hesseltine? But to your point, it is different than, like, what we kind of know to be like the man hiring a female sex worker experience, which is like, walk in, fuck, leave.
1:01:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:29 Ashley Hesseltine? This sounds much more intimate.
1:01:31 Speaker 01 Oh, there was like a sitting on the couch, there was soft music, I had lavender tea, like, we sort of had to, like, kind of warm up into the experience.
1:01:39 Ashley Hesseltine? I am just dying to know every single one of those women's stories. Like, because I'm sure some were in relationships.
1:01:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:45 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, sexless or just not being satisfied. I'm sure some just were single and had been for a long time. I mean...
1:01:52 Speaker 01 Widows.
1:01:53 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:01:53 Speaker 01 Divorces, people that were like not conventionally attractive. Um, and people in sexless marriages.
1:02:01 Rayna Greenberg? Was there a specific age range or was it huge?
1:02:04 Speaker 01 It was like mainly thirties and forties.
1:02:06 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:02:07 Speaker 01 I didn't screen also. I didn't like, hey, send me your pictures or something. It was just like, if you booked, you booked.
1:02:11 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But it's interesting. There was a lot of like talking ahead of time and just getting comfortable. And I mean, women need to feel like that, you know?
1:02:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:18 Rayna Greenberg? For sure.
1:02:20 Ashley Hesseltine? This should have been like the whole time. I mean, I'm so fascinated by this. I mean, and we, we had on this, uh, I mean, male sex worker years ago, we didn't end up airing it. Like the episode wasn't, he just, it wasn't good, but he would be hired a lot, just as more of even a date, remember? Like he had a lot of high power women clientele that just needed like, arm candy essentially, or like dates to like events and stuff like.
1:02:42 Rayna Greenberg? He would travel with them quite a bit. There's only two episodes we've ever not aired. That was one of them.
1:02:46 Speaker 01 Wow. And this one being the second one?
1:02:51 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. I just want to get you comfortable with the notion. This isn't coming out, you know?
1:02:55 Speaker 01 That's cool. I'm really glad I came out here and got a little bottle of water, you know?
1:02:58 Ashley Hesseltine? I'm fascinated by your whole trajectory of life.
1:03:02 Speaker 01 It's been weird. It's been a weird trajectory for sure. Very non-traditional.
1:03:05 Ashley Hesseltine? But you know, I love that you, you really walk the walk.
1:03:09 Rayna Greenberg? Were you in a relationship with anybody during this time?
1:03:11 Speaker 01 And that also made dating kind of hard.
1:03:14 Rayna Greenberg? Sure.
1:03:14 Ashley Hesseltine? And you would disclose it?
1:03:16 Speaker 01 Yeah. I disclose everything.
1:03:17 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. Yeah.
1:03:17 Speaker 01 Yeah. I disclose everything.
1:03:18 Rayna Greenberg? I think it could, it's just not for everybody, you know? Even if you're like, this is professional. This is fine. I was getting a massage from some guy. He talked about his girlfriend the whole time. That guy in Santa Barbara.
1:03:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:03:27 Speaker 01 Is that cool?
1:03:27 Rayna Greenberg? I actually have never talked to somebody.
1:03:31 Rayna Greenberg? She's a very inviting body.
1:03:33 Speaker 01 In my massage, I don't want to talk.
1:03:34 Rayna Greenberg? The only, I get a lot of massages. It's like my expensive guilty pleasure, but he's the only person to talk to me during a massage. But I don't know. We just started chatting and I was having fun and I don't know. It was a weird week.
1:03:44 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. That you don't do that a lot. That was like a.
1:03:46 Speaker 01 It was a weird week.
1:03:47 Ashley Hesseltine? One off.
1:03:47 Speaker 01 Wait, was this after the fires?
1:03:49 Rayna Greenberg? No, it was just like a week.
1:03:50 Speaker 01 Okay. Okay.
1:03:51 Rayna Greenberg? It was the summer and I was just kind of bored.
1:03:52 Speaker 01 Okay. Did you ever get a massage and wondered yourself or think like, oh, it'd be nice if this went a little extra?
1:03:57 Rayna Greenberg? Every time.
1:03:58 Speaker 01 That's what I was offering. It was the massage plus a little extra.
1:04:01 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And, and people like. And we speak about this very sensibly because there's nothing more disgusting than like an unconsensual
1:04:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:04:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Sexual act. I was like, there was like a whole thing years ago with that one chain. I mean, it was sickening. So yes, but like I've gotten that massage. I mean, I was on some press trip and then the PR company like set me up with the hottest masseuse at the hotel and he walked out. I was like, is this real life? Like I was like, he's gonna be on my body, you know, like towards the end, I was like, I would love for this to go to the next.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. What would be the next level? Just him touching you?
1:04:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, I have not experienced this and Raina can speak on it, but I think, yeah, you're in that area anyway. It just kind of starts to creep up, right?
1:04:39 Speaker 01 That was basically the move is that I would, I would just tease the hell out of them.
1:04:42 Ashley Hesseltine? Uh huh. Okay. Yeah. The teasing.
1:04:44 Speaker 01 Yeah. So like getting real close, but not ever getting there. And then I would, then at some point I would say, would you like me to continue? And they'd be like, yes.
1:04:55 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes, exactly.
1:04:56 Speaker 01 Lot of buy-in, lot of buy-in.
1:04:57 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, a lot of women have had A, this fantasy or B, this experience. So it makes total sense. Why?
1:05:03 Rayna Greenberg? It's just so sexy. I don't care what the person looks like either. Like it's just, I actually get a little uncomfortable when the guy's like too hot because I'm like, I can't like relax as much as I want to.
1:05:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, I also had an experience with a, with a massage I got once in Atlanta and I just felt like the guy was, his tone was a little too sexy for me. It made me very uncomfortable.
1:05:19 Speaker 01 And then you can't relax into that.
1:05:20 Ashley Hesseltine? Exactly.
1:05:20 Speaker 01 You're like on edge the whole time. Yeah.
1:05:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:05:23 Speaker 01 Fuck, man. Massages are crazy. Just like paying to get touched by another human being.
1:05:28 Rayna Greenberg? But like, how often you meet a total stranger and you were butt naked within three minutes? Their hands are all over your body. Like it's a really interesting like exchange of trust.
1:05:36 Ashley Hesseltine? At the guy.
1:05:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:39 Speaker 01 At the guy. No, but not all over your body. It's like start massaging your feet. It was like in the stirrups.
1:05:47 Ashley Hesseltine? But I've, I've mostly like for years now, I feel like I request women. I just, I just feel more comfortable.
1:05:53 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, I do too.
1:05:53 Speaker 01 Me too. Yeah.
1:05:54 Rayna Greenberg? No, you don't. Recently at Den Mother, I've requested a woman as a last.
1:05:59 Speaker 01 I do too.
1:06:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Or two guys in New York. Yeah, there's two guys.
1:06:02 Rayna Greenberg? There's two guys at ping pong back and forth. She had like a secret massage life. Like I would be like, I wouldn't hear from her for a couple hours and be like, where have you been? And she just, it came out that she was going like weekly to get these secret massages.
1:06:15 Speaker 01 What, were they just regular massages?
1:06:16 Rayna Greenberg? Just regular massages.
1:06:17 Speaker 01 Okay, just secret, not telling your friends.
1:06:19 Rayna Greenberg? That's myself, that's my self-help, you know?
1:06:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:20 Rayna Greenberg? I just like to get a massage. We're in constant communication. It never stops. If she doesn't hear from me for like an hour, I'm probably at a massage.
1:06:25 Speaker 01 Right, concerned.
1:06:26 Rayna Greenberg? I think there's a lot of shame in women. We got a ton of questions about this. People ask us all the time. I can't come from penetrative sex. I can only come from oral. I can only come from a toy. Was there like a big range in terms of like how people got off and what they wanted, how long it took?
1:06:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I, I mean, I always say this. I'm always honest about like the success rate was not, it was like probably 50%.
1:06:46 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:06:47 Speaker 01 You know, and like, I, do you know the Endless Honeymoon podcast with Moshe Kasher and Natasha Legere?
1:06:52 Rayna Greenberg? Oh, we know Moshe and Natasha.
1:06:53 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah, okay.
1:06:54 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:06:54 Speaker 01 So I was on their podcast and Natasha just roasted the fuck out of, actually, both of them roasted the shit out of me for having such a low success rate. They're like, no wonder no one came back to see you more than once if you're only doing it like half the time.
1:07:07 Rayna Greenberg? Wait, I want to say enough for you though. Women do not get off 50% of the time, not even close.
1:07:11 Speaker 01 That's what I'm-
1:07:12 Rayna Greenberg? Out of strangers' home?
1:07:13 Speaker 01 That's what I'm saying. I thought I was doing okay.
1:07:15 Rayna Greenberg? We're in our head, even in our safe space, with our, with our partner, you know? So to be in this like strange place with this stranger, I mean, yeah.
1:07:23 Speaker 01 I was trying to provide a loving,
1:07:25 Rayna Greenberg? Of course.
1:07:25 Speaker 01 caring, sexy experience.
1:07:27 Rayna Greenberg? Of course, of course.
1:07:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, and so if you came, I think that that was great, but also there's a limit to the length of the massage.
1:07:33 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:07:34 Speaker 01 You know, and like if I'm sweating trying to make it happen, it's not cute for anybody, you know?
1:07:38 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, you're like fighting for your life.
1:07:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Well, and also like I didn't go down on them.
1:07:42 Rayna Greenberg? Like if you don't come-
1:07:42 Speaker 01 I only use my hands.
1:07:43 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:07:43 Speaker 01 So like-
1:07:44 Rayna Greenberg? You are limited.
1:07:45 Speaker 01 I'm ver- I'm very limited, yeah. And Ian Kerner's book, you know, there was some mouth action in there.
1:07:50 Rayna Greenberg? Totally. I don't know that everybody can get off from just like clitoral stimulation.
1:07:55 Speaker 01 Right.
1:07:55 Rayna Greenberg? Like, and with a stranger in their home.
1:07:57 Speaker 01 For the first time.
1:07:58 Rayna Greenberg? Totally, right. So I don't know. I think that like sex can be really enjoyable even without the orgasm for me. Like I can still have fun and enjoy the experience.
1:08:07 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:08:07 Rayna Greenberg? Like, yeah, what I liked about an orgasm, great, but like the whole time leading up to that is really so fun for me, regardless. Well, let's get into something-
1:08:15 Ashley Hesseltine? Other questions.
1:08:15 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:08:16 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, so I love this one.
1:08:18 Speaker 01 We didn't even get into a question.
1:08:20 Ashley Hesseltine? Oh, yeah. Let's get into a question. First question.
1:08:23 Speaker 01 This happens all the time. This happens all the time.
1:08:25 Ashley Hesseltine? I love it. This is how we like to do it. It's just like an easy flow. Okay, first question. My boyfriend is dead silent during sex. I've tried to tell him to make literally any sound. He's proposing this year and I think it's time to celebrate by making him make a noise.
1:08:39 Speaker 01 Hilarious.
1:08:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Doesn't emote during sex.
1:08:41 Speaker 01 I talked about this on my podcast today. We had a listener call in.
1:08:44 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:08:45 Speaker 01 Saying, what's the deal with guys not making any noises?
1:08:48 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:08:48 Speaker 01 And it's weird.
1:08:49 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:08:50 Speaker 01 It's weird. I mean, I think there's, I don't know, where does that come from? Is that like shame, I guess?
1:08:54 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, insecure. I mean, not wanting to sound silly.
1:08:57 Rayna Greenberg? Sound silly. I don't think the dirty talk comes natural to your average person. I think it takes time to build up to that. I think, and I certainly don't have a penis, but I think trying to feel like, can I come? I don't want to come too soon. Like, I am, I'm assuming people are like, I don't want to come too fast, so I have to be quiet. It takes me out of it.
1:09:14 Speaker 01 I guess. You know, interestingly enough, in Tantra, moaning and making noise is a way to like, release pressure. And so it's a way to move energy and sort of like stuck energy in a tantric, and I'm not a Tantra expert, but in like a tantric way. If you're all like, kind of tense, then you can end up coming faster, right? Like, think about yourself, if you're trying to come, sometimes you're like tense up.
1:09:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Tense up, yeah.
1:09:37 Speaker 01 And so moaning will like, release energy and sort of like, make it flow freer.
1:09:41 Ashley Hesseltine? Interesting.
1:09:42 Speaker 01 In a way that, you know, could prevent you from actually coming too soon.
1:09:46 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, I'd want more information. Like, I don't even know if she is wanting dirty talk. I think she's wanting literally anything.
1:09:52 Speaker 01 A moan, a moan.
1:09:53 Ashley Hesseltine? But then, you know, we had a friend recently and she told us she slept with a guy and he moaned like a woman and I was like,
1:10:01 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:10:02 Ashley Hesseltine? Like a, uh, uh.
1:10:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know. Yeah, no, it has to be like, mm, uh. Like, it has to be like, a little bit deeper.
1:10:09 Ashley Hesseltine? And I never, I like gasped. I was like, oh my, I don't know what I would do. And like, I wouldn't want to shame somebody for their sounds they were making, but if, I feel like if I was with a guy and he was like, uh, uh, he was making the sounds I was making?
1:10:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
1:10:19 Ashley Hesseltine? I don't know.
1:10:20 Speaker 01 We don't know who's making what.
1:10:21 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:10:23 Rayna Greenberg? Was that you or me?
1:10:23 Speaker 01 Okay, but wait, I think in, in She Comes First, there, I mean, when you're going down on a woman and you're moaning, you can like make the clit vibrate, like that whole area.
1:10:34 Ashley Hesseltine? Kind of like, mm.
1:10:35 Speaker 01 Mm.
1:10:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, tho- those are great sounds.
1:10:37 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:10:38 Speaker 01 So use that, but when you're having sex, use a deeper like moan.
1:10:43 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. I think it just takes some people out of it. I think a lot of men struggle to not come too quickly. Or if you're just hearing a bunch of noises, maybe that takes you out of it. You can't like focus and concentrate on coming. But I've dealt with this before with a partner that just did not emote, like any, like I would look down at him and I'd be like, am I bothering you? Like, this is crazy. Like, you're not making any noises at all. And he, I mean, we just never got there, but like I, my advice to people is like, tell your partner, like, it really, it turns me on to know that you're turned on.
1:11:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:11:13 Rayna Greenberg? Like flip it around and say like, it's really, it's exciting for me to hear this out of you. You know, I, I really like it when you make noises. I would love to make, hear you make noise.
1:11:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, if you made a noise. Here's the thing, though. I think boys are used to being really quiet when they're masturbating because they feel ashamed, or they've had parents shame them for masturbating. So they're used to just being kind of furtively pleasing themselves. And that just sort of translates into relationships.
1:11:40 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, my tip is to ask a yes or no question. Like, see if you can get something out of them. Like, maybe they need to break the barrier. I mean, I would like her to just say, like, do you like this? You know, like, get them to say anything to like, break through and see if you can get that out of them, like.
1:11:56 Speaker 01 And you can't answer with a, with a yes or no. So you have to go, mm-hmm. Ah, that's a moan right there.
1:12:04 Ashley Hesseltine? They could answer with that. All I'm saying is like, let's do a test here. Like, let's really give it your all, you know, really be having great sex with your partner and then just be like, do you like it? And see what happens. Is he gonna just?
1:12:17 Speaker 01 Freeze.
1:12:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Do nothing? Like, I feel like if we could just get there, make it easy on him. Again, I don't know if she just wants a moan or if she wants dirty talk, but like, you cannot expect someone who's never made a sound in their life to start proactively dirty talking. You've got to ask them a question.
1:12:31 Speaker 01 But even, even more than that, talk about it before or when you're not having sex.
1:12:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:12:37 Speaker 01 Hey, honey, I would love to hear you make some noises when we're having sex. It could be a moan, it could be a grunt, anything. Like, it would just turn me on a lot if I could hear you a little bit.
1:12:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:12:48 Speaker 01 I love feeling you. I want to hear you.
1:12:50 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, but just, I think, give it a whirl. Do you like it? See what happens.
1:12:54 Rayna Greenberg? Yes or no questions?
1:12:55 Speaker 01 No.
1:12:57 Rayna Greenberg? You don't seem like you like it.
1:12:58 Ashley Hesseltine? Also to your point, like, what if he starts making noises and it's real bad? Like, these, because we've heard.
1:13:04 Rayna Greenberg? Longcomer.
1:13:04 Speaker 01 Shane Gillis has a joke about how he sounds like a fucking pug fighting for his life.
1:13:09 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, you could see that, though, looking at him.
1:13:11 Speaker 01 Totally. But like, maybe at some point, maybe you're like, do I want that or do I want silence? So I could just concentrate on my sex.
1:13:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Right, plot twist, he does not propose, they break up. She's like, so we started making noise.
1:13:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:13:21 Rayna Greenberg? It was the wrong ones.
1:13:22 Speaker 01 Well, you want to know that now.
1:13:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, exactly.
1:13:26 Rayna Greenberg? I just, I want to give people space to like, do what they want in the bedroom. Because like, I like a lot of noises and a lot of talking and dirty talk and like, that's what I like, but like, that might take somebody out of it. So maybe you're like, what I like is to be silent and maybe you guys just aren't a match. That's like, really important to me, to like, be with somebody that like, can talk dirty and emote in bed and like, it's not an immediate deal breaker, but it's up there.
1:13:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, and I do, there is such a spectrum. I stand firmly that these things can change. And I have had partners that were dead silent, that then dirty talked. You know, like, I think people learn new skills, they learn what you like. So it's, we always say, like, you can't base it off, like, the very beginning of your sex journey with somebody, but you were with someone for quite some time that just, I mean, a year in and still not one expression even while coming. And I think, you know, that might be a non-starter.
1:14:16 Speaker 01 Silent coming?
1:14:17 Rayna Greenberg? Silent comer.
1:14:18 Speaker 01 No way. Could you tell it was happening?
1:14:20 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, but for other reasons.
1:14:21 Speaker 01 Was it like a shudder or like some?
1:14:23 Rayna Greenberg? It was just sort of like a grunt and that was a, not barely a grunt. He's just also just not really emotive in life. Like, he's just not a really, like, excitable person. And we're still friends today. We're just not a romantic match in any way, at all.
1:14:36 Ashley Hesseltine? But don't you think, I mean, I'd like to know, if there is men out there that are just, nothing's coming out of their mouth, they're completely mute, which may be what she's dealing with. Like, I would think most guys say, I'm gonna come, but maybe, like, he never did that either. I mean, that's the lowest bar, right?
1:14:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm not saying I'm gonna come. You know I'm coming. Like, and for a while, like, there was a buildup, there was a crescendo. Like, it's not, yeah, it's not a surprise.
1:15:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:15:00 Speaker 01 I'm not surprising anybody.
1:15:02 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:15:03 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, I don't know. It's fine if it's a deal breaker.
1:15:06 Ashley Hesseltine? But she could do that. Like, if, again, if he's never made a peep, like, she could be like, "Hey, could you just, like, tell me when you're gonna come?" Like, just so I know.
1:15:12 Speaker 01 But also, I think, have a conversation with your partner.
1:15:14 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:15:15 Speaker 01 Like, "Hey, it really turns me on when you make some noises. Like, how come you don't?" You know? You could be pointed. You could be direct about that kind of stuff.
1:15:22 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. The shame stuff is interesting, and I never really thought about it, but there is so much shame around sex for so many people, and masturbating, and maybe it just doesn't come natural to people to, like, emote that much.
1:15:31 Speaker 01 Yeah. Guys are kind of shut down, for the most part.
1:15:33 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:15:34 Speaker 01 I don't want to throw them under the bus, but like, you know, they're not, men aren't known to be the most emotionally expressive, so in sex, neither.
1:15:41 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And he could have never, obviously, done this with a previous partner. No one had any issue with it, so this is the first time it's coming up for him. And, you know, I have faith in him.
1:15:51 Speaker 01 Yeah. Talk about it.
1:15:52 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:15:52 Speaker 01 You got this.
1:15:53 Rayna Greenberg? My God, there's so many good ones.
1:15:54 Speaker 01 I'm gonna come.
1:15:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Isolate that soundbite, Tessa. We're gonna clip that.
1:16:02 Rayna Greenberg? Can we talk about, like, frequency of sex and libido?
1:16:04 Speaker 01 We can talk about anything you want.
1:16:05 Rayna Greenberg? So, a lot of questions came in about-
1:16:07 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, no. Not that. Not libido. Not frequency.
1:16:11 Rayna Greenberg? We talked about balls on my face. Yeah. A lot of people saying, "My sex drive is higher than my partner's," essentially. And how do I, like, bring up that I would like to be having more sex? And I'd like them to initiate it. Because I think, eventually, with a lot of people, you keep trying to initiate it, and you're shut down. And, I mean, how could you not turn it on yourself and say that? Maybe they're not attracted to me, you know? But I think that it makes you feel really bad. But if you, I think love is rare. It's hard to find people you care about, and this is something worth working on. So, I have more of a libido than my partner. How do I bring it up?
1:16:41 Speaker 01 Yeah. And it's usually, it's usually female has a higher libido than their male partners.
1:16:46 Ashley Hesseltine? Which is, I feel like, this myth, that guys want to fuck all the time. You know, so women get in their head of, like, I thought that guys always were horny and down to fuck.
1:16:54 Speaker 01 As we get older-
1:16:55 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:16:56 Speaker 01 -we're less horny.
1:16:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:16:57 Speaker 01 And women end up being more horny.
1:16:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:16:59 Speaker 01 Yeah. It's kind of sad. It's kind of tragic. I feel like it's also one of the biggest complaints that some, that couples have.
1:17:05 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:17:05 Speaker 01 It's either, like, libido discrepancy or money. Those are the two things.
1:17:09 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:17:10 Speaker 01 And I don't know if I, I don't actually have the answer to this. I don't really know- It's funny, I was listening to something recently, it's like, women or people in relationships want their partner to act in a certain way, but if you have to ask for it, and then they do it, and then you go, "Well, I kinda wish you had just done it without me asking for it." But I don't see any other way around saying like, "I have a higher libido, it would feel good to me if you initiated a little bit more, and if we could find, like, meet somewhere in the middle." But there's gonna have to be some sort of compromise here.
1:17:41 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. I mean, we did talk about this at length with Anne Kerner, so you guys can listen back. But there is no just answer.
1:17:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:17:49 Ashley Hesseltine? You know, I mean, it's communication and figuring out if you are a match and you can meet in the middle. I mean, I think as women, we feel embarrassed to bring this up, right? And then you're like, "Well, now you're only doing it." It's like, "I want you to wanna do the dishes."
1:18:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. "I don't wanna do the dishes."
1:18:04 Ashley Hesseltine? Right, so it's tough, and I think you approach this with like, "I love you, if you do." You know, if that's where you're at in your relationship.
1:18:12 Speaker 01 I love our sex life.
1:18:13 Ashley Hesseltine? I love our sex life, "I'm so turned on by you."
1:18:15 Speaker 01 I would love it even more if...
1:18:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, like, start with the positives, and see, and you could have a partner that doesn't even realize it. Maybe, and also, are we just in a stage of life where they're stressed with work? Like, what are you guys dealing with?
1:18:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's temporary.
1:18:30 Ashley Hesseltine? Is there any stresses in the relationship, like, reminding yourself that relationships ebb and flow? And they, couples go through highs and lows of having sex, too.
1:18:41 Rayna Greenberg? And you take each other for granted, I think when you have children, I can't even imagine coming home after working a whole day and taking care of my kids, and then you feel sexy, you wanna have sex at the end of the day. Like, I think that a lot of people just fall into that script of like, "You're here, I get to sleep next to you." And I think trying to manufacture an environment that's a little sexier, I think massages are a great way to do that.
1:19:01 Speaker 01 Schedule that shit also. I know it's unsexy, but like, I think if you have a family and you're really busy,
1:19:07 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:19:08 Speaker 01 scheduling sex is like a total, I think it's a winning strategy.
1:19:12 Rayna Greenberg? I think there's a lot of like, pros and cons to scheduling sex, and people have like, a big reaction to it, like, "I would never do that."
1:19:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
1:19:18 Rayna Greenberg? But if nothing's working, why not try this thing?
1:19:21 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, you schedule a date night, so, you know... Is it part of that? But why are we scheduling like our romantic night out, but not the intimacy part of it?
1:19:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. Also fuck before dinner, if you can.
1:19:31 Ashley Hesseltine? Thank you.
1:19:32 Rayna Greenberg? I love.
1:19:32 Ashley Hesseltine? We could do a whole episode on this.
1:19:34 Speaker 01 Fuck before dinner.
1:19:35 Ashley Hesseltine? What?
1:19:35 Speaker 01 Fuck first. I just did this with someone. Yeah. And you're gonna enjoy the meal.
1:19:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Totally.
1:19:39 Speaker 01 She was like, kinda not into it. It was like, took, took her a while to like, wrap her head around it.
1:19:44 Rayna Greenberg? Somebody you were having sex with before dinner?
1:19:46 Speaker 01 Y- yes.
1:19:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:19:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:19:47 Ashley Hesseltine? I, I am never hornier than the afternoon, early evening.
1:19:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:19:52 Ashley Hesseltine? And I'm never less horny than after a giant meal.
1:19:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:19:56 Ashley Hesseltine? You're just like pushing on my stomach.
1:19:58 Speaker 01 She wanted to connect more before sex. And I was like, look, girl, we'll connect after sex.
1:20:04 Ashley Hesseltine? Sean's like, we'll get to you and your feelings after I come.
1:20:08 Speaker 01 Don't worry. Yeah, exactly.
1:20:09 Ashley Hesseltine? This will make me wanna talk to you.
1:20:11 Speaker 01 Well, the fear was that, that I, that I wasn't gonna wanna talk to her because, because after sex, then it's like, some people just aren't into it anymore.
1:20:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, but it's like, we have a reservation. You know, we're locked into dinner regardless.
1:20:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, we're going.
1:20:22 Ashley Hesseltine? So have sex before.
1:20:24 Speaker 01 I got 20 bucks on this thing. I got a deposit.
1:20:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Do you Peloton at all?
1:20:27 Speaker 01 No, but I have, I have.
1:20:28 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Well, so I was taking a Cody Rigsby class the other day, and he started in on this of like, why are we having sex after dinner? Like, it should always be before you eat.
1:20:37 Rayna Greenberg? You know, my nighttime sex is my least favorite. After my whole day, I've done my skincare routine.
1:20:43 Speaker 01 No.
1:20:44 Rayna Greenberg? I'm going to sleep.
1:20:44 Speaker 01 Balls on your face after that? No. You gotta do it again. You gotta clean your face again after that.
1:20:50 Rayna Greenberg? I had a full face of makeup on when that was happening.
1:20:52 Ashley Hesseltine? Right now.
1:20:53 Rayna Greenberg? I just had two little eye holes on his balls.
1:20:54 Ashley Hesseltine? No, he's like, you have mascara running down. Yeah. He's like, you got mascara on my balls. You have to rub it off.
1:21:01 Speaker 01 Wait, one more thing is if your male partner's looking at porn, and you're not having sex, there's an issue.
1:21:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Hmm. Okay.
1:21:09 Speaker 01 I don't wanna shame anybody for their porn use. Like, yeah, it's like, you have a solo sex life, that's okay. But if you're prioritizing masturbating to porn over having sex with your partner, that, that's probably an issue.
1:21:20 Rayna Greenberg? Yes. The issue is actually not that you don't have libido, it's that you aren't having sex with me.
1:21:24 Speaker 01 That you're, yeah, exactly.
1:21:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And then, then that is, I, there, there is no way to diagnose that without all the information. How long have you been together? What's going on in the relationship? I mean, that's like, sometimes where a third party needs to, to come in.
1:21:36 Speaker 01 And I'm not, yeah, I don't, I don't wanna say like, don't look at porn, don't masturbate on your own. That's not what I'm saying, but there could be something to explore there.
1:21:43 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And that's tough. I mean, I'm sure women listening are experiencing this now or they have in the past where they're not having the sex life they want with their partner, but they know he's still watching porn and masturbating. That's really hurtful.
1:21:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:21:57 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:21:57 Speaker 01 And non-monogamy is also, could be a solution for some people, obviously not everybody.
1:22:03 Rayna Greenberg? Well, I think it's fair to open up that conversation and say like, sex is really important to me and like feeling connected physically to somebody. And if you are refusing to give that to me, then I should be allowed to explore this somewhere else. You're allowed to say no and go.
1:22:16 Speaker 01 And you're allowed to leave. Yeah. And that might even take some pressure off of the partner who has a lower libido. You know, like, oh, okay, my partner is getting laid and is happy and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about that. That can be nice.
1:22:28 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:22:28 Speaker 01 It's an advanced strategy. I'm not saying like anyone
1:22:31 Rayna Greenberg? Totally.
1:22:31 Speaker 01 can just jump into non-monogamy. But there are books like opening up, you know, that walk you through the whole thing.
1:22:38 Ashley Hesseltine? This comes up a lot over all the years we've been doing this of just wanting your partner to initiate sex. And I do think you have to ask yourself, like, have they ever, you know, like, do you want things to go back to a way that they were? Or are you wanting someone to be someone that they never really have been? So I think that's a question to ask yourself too. Like, has something changed? Or have you just been like, I want what I see in the movies? Or I want what I see in my friends' relationships? Or I want him to, you know, rip my clothes off in this way? And it's like, well, is that who we're talking about? Has he ever been that guy? You know, so that's something too.
1:23:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, maybe not.
1:23:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Right. Yeah.
1:23:12 Speaker 01 There's also, you can bridge the gap a little bit.
1:23:14 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, yeah.
1:23:15 Speaker 01 We can invite people to try on different.
1:23:18 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. And you shouldn't have to shape shift to turn him on, but Raina saying like, is the environment conducive to sex? Are we cleaning up our side of the street first to kind of make it sexy too, is a good place to start.
1:23:35 Rayna Greenberg? Take a shower together, you know?
1:23:36 Ashley Hesseltine? The massages, yeah.
1:23:37 Rayna Greenberg? The massages are a good idea.
1:23:38 Ashley Hesseltine? Or suck and blow gel.
1:23:40 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:23:40 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:23:41 Speaker 01 What?
1:23:42 Ashley Hesseltine? We have a like oral enhancer.
1:23:44 Rayna Greenberg? We'll send you home with some.
1:23:45 Speaker 01 Oh, cool.
1:23:45 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, we're gonna send you home with some.
1:23:46 Speaker 01 It's like a flowbee but for...
1:23:48 Rayna Greenberg? It's flavored lube essentially.
1:23:49 Speaker 01 Oh, yummy.
1:23:50 Rayna Greenberg? It's meant for oral. Yeah. But I think, you know, create an environment. Turn the lights off in the bathroom, light some candles, take a shower together.
1:23:56 Speaker 01 Yeah. Also, talk about sex. I feel like, I love all that. Like, that's like very situational, but also can we get there through just talking about what we love, what we wish we could have more of? There's a great tool called the Yes, No, Maybe List. You can Google it. There's a good one by a company or an organization called Autostraddle. Auto, A-U-T-O, straddle.
1:24:18 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:24:19 Speaker 01 And it's basically this whole exercise that you can go and take with your partner or the person that you're sleeping with. It could even be like a new person. Take it to a cool bar, a cool restaurant, bring pens. And it's basically allows you to learn things that you want to do, don't want to do, or might want to do at some point.
1:24:37 Rayna Greenberg? Okay. I love this.
1:24:38 Speaker 01 All these different strategies, like all these different little things that you might not think of, like kissing in the shower, or like playing with wax, or like the gamut. Really, the gamut from like really mild to really wild.
1:24:50 Rayna Greenberg? I like the idea that somebody else facilitates this, that you're not really on the hook for this, these questions, that you're just like, I found this list, why don't we do it together at dinner?
1:24:58 Speaker 01 Yeah. And you can circle like a happy face or a sad face next to the things that you want to try or absolutely don't want to try. And then there's other things, like, I love it when you refer to my genitals as this. Never refer to my genitals as this.
1:25:10 Rayna Greenberg? I love this.
1:25:11 Speaker 01 So you can like, I don't know that you don't like me, you don't like it when I call it dick, but you really like it when I call it a cock.
1:25:17 Rayna Greenberg? Cock, yeah.
1:25:17 Speaker 01 And then you start, then you're like...
1:25:20 Rayna Greenberg? I love that. Like, this whole time dick's been taking him out of it.
1:25:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:23 Rayna Greenberg? You know, he's like, I haven't said, I haven't made a moan in bed because you've been calling it a dick.
1:25:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:27 Rayna Greenberg? I'm trying to do a sick cock.
1:25:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. A winkle or whatever. I don't know.
1:25:31 Rayna Greenberg? I like slut. I don't like whore.
1:25:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:33 Rayna Greenberg? They feel different to me.
1:25:34 Speaker 01 Totally. They are different.
1:25:35 Rayna Greenberg? They are. They feel different to me. Like slut all day. Whore, I'm like, do you, do you hate your mother?
1:25:40 Speaker 01 Fuck you. Yeah.
1:25:41 Rayna Greenberg? Why are you talking to me like this?
1:25:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:43 Rayna Greenberg? Fuck you whore. I'm like, that's right, I am.
1:25:46 Speaker 01 Yeah. So the Yes, No, Maybe List.
1:25:48 Rayna Greenberg? Small change.
1:25:48 Speaker 01 Small change. It makes a huge difference.
1:25:50 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Well, then, speaking of this, what are you supposed to call men during sex? Some don't like daddy. So like, what?
1:25:56 Rayna Greenberg? I like that she's, her only vocabulary is daddy.
1:26:00 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, I appreciate the question.
1:26:02 Rayna Greenberg? But like, a new person, baby sounds weird, babe sounds weird. Daddy is not for, that's not flying out of a...
1:26:09 Speaker 01 You don't have to call him anything.
1:26:10 Ashley Hesseltine? That's the thing too. You don't have to call him anything. I'm trying to, I'm thinking of my own experience, like...
1:26:14 Speaker 01 Fuck me harder.
1:26:16 Ashley Hesseltine? I don't know that I call him anything.
1:26:18 Rayna Greenberg? I've busted out a daddy here and there, but it depends on who I'm with.
1:26:21 Speaker 01 Or their name is actually kind of hot.
1:26:22 Rayna Greenberg? Their name.
1:26:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, don't forget their name.
1:26:24 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:26:25 Speaker 01 Use their name.
1:26:26 Rayna Greenberg? God.
1:26:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:26:27 Speaker 01 God?
1:26:27 Rayna Greenberg? Like, oh, my god.
1:26:28 Speaker 01 Oh, my god.
1:26:28 Rayna Greenberg? God.
1:26:30 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, I mean, I'm curious what she's really itching to call him. Like, I really do appreciate the question.
1:26:35 Rayna Greenberg? Me, too.
1:26:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Do you call him something else outside of the bedroom? Like, yeah, I guess I'm saying babe sometimes.
1:26:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, sweetie. Yes, yeah.
1:26:42 Rayna Greenberg? Sweetie.
1:26:43 Speaker 01 Okay, I lived in Panama for a little while.
1:26:46 Rayna Greenberg? Sean, you're so interesting.
1:26:47 Speaker 01 I started a hostel for motorcycle travelers a long time ago.
1:26:50 Rayna Greenberg? Obviously.
1:26:51 Speaker 01 And I was like, I had read The Game. This was like when The Game kind of came out, and it fucked me up. Because I was like, this is wrong.
1:26:58 Rayna Greenberg? Super toxic.
1:26:58 Speaker 01 Doesn't feel right.
1:26:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Good, I'm glad you said that.
1:27:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, and but I guess I'll try some of these, like, waiting three days to text back or whatever. But I was also in Panama. I didn't speak Spanish at the time. I do now. And I just had a really hard time connecting with people. And this was like pre-dating apps. And anyways, I was like getting really horny and kind of desperate. And my buddies were like, this is bad, dude. Like, you're everywhere you're going, like, you can't stop thinking or talking about sex. And like, I was just like really, and you could smell.
1:27:23 Rayna Greenberg? You're embarrassing us, Sean.
1:27:24 Speaker 01 You could smell the desperation.
1:27:26 Rayna Greenberg? Uh huh.
1:27:26 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:27:27 Speaker 01 Anyways, yeah, I was, so he brought me to a brothel. And he's like, we just got to get this out of your system.
1:27:32 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:27:33 Speaker 01 And she said, "Que rico, papi." Right, which is like, and it just, it really worked.
1:27:39 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:27:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Trigger button.
1:27:40 Speaker 01 So for me, poppy works.
1:27:41 Rayna Greenberg? There we go.
1:27:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, poppy.
1:27:42 Ashley Hesseltine? It's so funny to say that, just some white dude, just some average white dude calling poppy.
1:27:47 Speaker 01 Calling poppy.
1:27:48 Rayna Greenberg? Who did I call? I called [BLEEP] poppy. This little white boy, five eight.
1:27:52 Speaker 01 So if you don't like daddy, call him poppy.
1:27:55 Rayna Greenberg? Poppy? Listen, try it. I like it, poppy. I like daddy. I mean, not everybody is the daddy.
1:28:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's true.
1:28:01 Rayna Greenberg? Not everybody can absorb the daddy.
1:28:02 Speaker 01 The daddy energy.
1:28:03 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
1:28:04 Speaker 01 I will say that it did work after the brothel experience.
1:28:06 Rayna Greenberg? What worked?
1:28:07 Speaker 01 I wasn't so desperate and like.
1:28:08 Ashley Hesseltine? And you stopped using The Game, obviously.
1:28:10 Speaker 01 I stopped using The Game, and I like went on regular dates with people.
1:28:13 Ashley Hesseltine? Text back immediately.
1:28:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I treated him nicely.
1:28:16 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. I don't do daddy. I don't know. I don't think this is a big shocker to anybody. Yeah, like, I don't, I don't, I guess I would if my partner wanted it, but like, I have never done it. And like, I think it would really throw him off.
1:28:29 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
1:28:30 Ashley Hesseltine? So. I think if you call him babe or baby outside of the bedroom, bring it into the bedroom, his name, or nothing.
1:28:38 Speaker 01 Or nothing.
1:28:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:28:40 Speaker 01 We solved this one.
1:28:41 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:28:41 Rayna Greenberg? Daddy feels more natural to me sexting and not actually saying it out loud.
1:28:45 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, if I were to say daddy, it would be a bit.
1:28:48 Rayna Greenberg? Like, we both start la- like, it would be, he would, he would know it's a joke.
1:28:54 Rayna Greenberg? He'd be like, Ashley said the funniest thing during sex.
1:28:56 Speaker 01 Called me daddy.
1:28:57 Rayna Greenberg? She's telling me jokes.
1:28:59 Speaker 01 I mean, it's hot to be called daddy, for sure.
1:29:01 Ashley Hesseltine? I get it. I'm not, I'm not shaming it. It's just, it's not in my repertoire. I've asked my fiance, like, do you want me to call you daddy? He was like, no. I was like, glad we got past that. No daddy, no anal.
1:29:14 Speaker 01 No daddy, no anal.
1:29:15 Rayna Greenberg? Okay, can we wrap up with anal?
1:29:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:29:17 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:29:17 Speaker 01 Love it. Yes, love it.
1:29:18 Rayna Greenberg? This was one of the most asked questions. How do I get more into anal?
1:29:23 Speaker 01 Do we have time? We don't have time for anal. This is.
1:29:25 Rayna Greenberg? There's always time for anal, Sean.
1:29:27 Ashley Hesseltine? Let's, five minutes for anal.
1:29:28 Speaker 01 It's like, it's like Jell-O.
1:29:29 Rayna Greenberg? So, this came up a ton about anal, and I'm like, I thought we talked about this so much.
1:29:35 Speaker 01 I love it.
1:29:36 Rayna Greenberg? We had someone on the show, Dr. Evan Goldstein, and did a whole episode about, like, anal from a doctor. It was two years ago in February, so you guys can look that up. But I think that, like, so many women are like, I genuinely don't care for this, but my partner wants to do it. I don't want to, like, there's this whole hole that, like, I'm not using, and they are requesting it. Like, how can I make this marginally enjoyable for myself?
1:29:56 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah, that's actually a pretty common scenario. I've, like, I've experienced women that are like, I'm not really into it, but if it makes you happy, I'm happy to, like, give it a shot. I think you have to be kind of, you, you kind of want to want it. You, you gotta want to want it.
1:30:11 Rayna Greenberg? So, as a man, you, you have sex with females, like, and somebody's sitting there like, oh, oh, yeah, like, why, who would enjoy that?
1:30:19 Speaker 01 Well, you can't just, I mean, there's a lot of preparation that comes into having anal sex.
1:30:23 Rayna Greenberg? So, what kind of prep do you do?
1:30:25 Speaker 01 Well, I mean, butt plugs are a really good place to start.
1:30:28 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, training kit?
1:30:29 Speaker 01 A training kit with, with different sized butt plugs. Start small, medium, and large.
1:30:34 Rayna Greenberg? Right. Starting with a full-sized penis, I mean, that's, it's gonna hurt.
1:30:38 Speaker 01 Or a full-sized butt plug. The great thing about butt plugs is that they just, they, they're static. They just stay there. And then your, your butthole sort of just, like, gets used to being kind of stretched out a little bit.
1:30:48 Ashley Hesseltine? We, we sell a great butt plug, and it is, it's not too large. It's a great size. It really could be for a novice or an expert, and, you know, obviously, lube is so important.
1:30:58 Speaker 01 Lots of lube pushing out is actually kind of a power move when you're like taking in either the butt plug or a penis is like bearing down, kind of like you would poop.
1:31:08 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:31:08 Speaker 01 Sort of like, I don't know, it just kind of primes the sphincter for something to come in.
1:31:13 Rayna Greenberg? I think it's really not a familiar sensation for a lot of people. And so if you've never done it before, and all of a sudden, there's this thing introduced to the cavity of your body, like, it's hard to like that. So I like the idea of training with smaller plugs. You just get to use the sensation.
1:31:26 Ashley Hesseltine? I mean, we talked about this at length with, with Dr. Evan. You guys can listen back. We asked all the questions. Is there poop always in there, et cetera?
1:31:32 Speaker 01 No.
1:31:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, it just depends. A lot of times there is poop in there, right, right in there. A lot of times there's not.
1:31:38 Speaker 01 Well, the reality is you can't keep knocking on poop's door expecting poop not to be home.
1:31:45 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, exactly.
1:31:47 Speaker 01 I mean, poop's gonna be home sometimes. Why are you coming by?
1:31:51 Ashley Hesseltine? But I think the question, talking with you, and you're not technically a doctor, is this whole like, I don't want to, and he wants to, and like, I don't really know what to tell you there, you know, like, are you in a position with your partner where you're feeling anxiety surrounding, he wants to do this thing that I really don't want to do? And I don't know that I have the answer to that.
1:32:12 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, you're, not everybody's gonna enjoy it and find it pleasurable. I don't like it. I've never had an anal experience I enjoyed, whether it was even a finger, because I think you can like work your way into it with like.
1:32:21 Speaker 01 Oh, you should work your way in with a finger, for sure. 100%.
1:32:24 Rayna Greenberg? And just get used to that sensation. But for me, I just, I really don't enjoy it, like, to the point that like, I'm really not gonna be that fun while it's happening either. And I can deal with a finger, even though I like, kind of hate it. It doesn't feel so bad. But a whole penis, I don't want it. I don't like it.
1:32:38 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, also, has this hypothetical couple done a finger? You know, like, if a guy is like, hey, I really want to put it in your butt. I'm like, put your finger in there. We're gonna start there for me and for you.
1:32:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:32:48 Ashley Hesseltine? You know, like, eat it, eat it out, eat my butt then.
1:32:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, eat my butt, get the finger wet, put the finger in, let's see what that feels like.
1:32:55 Ashley Hesseltine? You don't just get to come in hot.
1:32:57 Speaker 01 You can't come in hot. You cannot, 100%.
1:32:59 Ashley Hesseltine? We're not doing anal unless you've eaten my ass a couple times.
1:33:02 Speaker 01 Uh, more, but yeah, that's at the very minimum, you eat the ass.
1:33:05 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:33:06 Speaker 01 Then you need way more, like, I'm saying, if you've never had anal sex. Like you're gonna need a couple hours to feel comfortable enough to take a penis. If not a couple sessions.
1:33:17 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:33:17 Speaker 01 This is not something that you just do on a drunken Wednesday.
1:33:20 Rayna Greenberg? Yes.
1:33:20 Speaker 01 You don't want to kind of fire in into it really quickly. Like this is just gonna take a while.
1:33:25 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:33:25 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, but I want to know that you want this booty hole so bad and that might turn me on. So as opposed to like, my man just wants to do anal because he heard it's tighter, whatever he wants. Like it's like, I want to know that you want my butt so bad that you are eating it regularly, that you've stuck your finger in there. Like I think that would turn me on more than like, he just wants to put it in because he thinks it's gonna be tight.
1:33:45 Speaker 01 And that you're willing to do the work.
1:33:47 Rayna Greenberg? Thank you.
1:33:48 Ashley Hesseltine? I need you to do the work.
1:33:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're willing to take two hours to like really warm me up and do everything that you need to make sure that this doesn't hurt at all. And not only does it not hurt, it feels good.
1:33:59 Rayna Greenberg? What if I have this project with me? If you want this so bad.
1:34:02 Ashley Hesseltine? Right. I mean, weeks in a va- like eat my ass weekly through Q1.
1:34:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:34:08 Ashley Hesseltine? And we'll address this.
1:34:09 Speaker 01 In Q2.
1:34:10 Ashley Hesseltine? In April.
1:34:11 Speaker 01 Yeah. Well, I will also say that some women, some people love, they are, they are butt sluts.
1:34:16 Ashley Hesseltine? Totally.
1:34:17 Speaker 01 They love butt sex. So we're talking about like, oh, make it not hurt, you know, like make it pleasure. Well, some people really get off, they get off on it. And so like, you know, obviously this is not this person.
1:34:27 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:34:28 Speaker 01 Like could be that person if you fucking do it right.
1:34:30 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:34:31 Speaker 01 If you do it right.
1:34:31 Rayna Greenberg? But those people that like love it also didn't like do anal for the first time and thought like it's the best thing ever. Like you've got to work towards it.
1:34:38 Speaker 01 Maybe they did. Who knows?
1:34:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Maybe. Yeah, who's to say?
1:34:40 Speaker 01 Who knows?
1:34:41 Rayna Greenberg? Maybe I'll be a butt slut. If I believe in it hard enough, maybe I'll be a butt slut.
1:34:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, and go slow. I mean, it's not, yeah, take your time.
1:34:47 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. I just think you need to reframe it in some way to turn yourself on about it. You know what I mean? And for me, that would be like, he cannot get enough of my butt, you know?
1:34:56 Speaker 01 I'll be honest, I love butt stuff.
1:34:58 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:34:58 Speaker 01 I cannot get enough of it.
1:34:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Anal too? Like all of it?
1:35:01 Speaker 01 All of it. I don't get a lot of it, but I can't get enough of it.
1:35:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay. Could you be with someone who was like hard line, no anal?
1:35:10 Speaker 01 I'm not sure.
1:35:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:35:12 Speaker 01 I'm not, I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm not sure.
1:35:14 Ashley Hesseltine? Totally.
1:35:14 Rayna Greenberg? I don't, if somebody was like, every time, we gotta do butt stuff, I don't think they could date me.
1:35:18 Ashley Hesseltine? But like, it's, it goes back to our original question, like, could you or I be with someone who refused to utter a word in the bedroom? Probably not. You know, like, they're not that dissimilar. It's like, we like what we like, and some people have boundaries surrounding those things, and that may not be your partner.
1:35:33 Rayna Greenberg? But it sounds like also, you're like, I want this, but I'll work with you on it. I'll train that butthole.
1:35:37 Speaker 01 Oh, I'll train the butthole, I'll take my time with you. There's no, there's no pressure, there's no rush. Yeah.
1:35:43 Rayna Greenberg? For somebody who really doesn't like butt stuff, people cannot get enough of my butthole. I, just, every guy wants to be inside of it.
1:35:49 Ashley Hesseltine? It's a good one, right?
1:35:50 Rayna Greenberg? Oh, yeah, I was told I have a perfect butthole, just an absolutely perfect butthole.
1:35:53 Speaker 01 What makes it perfect?
1:35:54 Rayna Greenberg? Color.
1:35:55 Speaker 01 Color.
1:35:55 Rayna Greenberg? Color.
1:35:56 Speaker 01 Not too brown?
1:35:57 Rayna Greenberg? Cleanliness? It's totally pink.
1:35:58 Speaker 01 It's totally pink. Cleanliness?
1:36:01 Rayna Greenberg? I guess cleanliness and color.
1:36:02 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, maybe, I mean, it's also who the butthole belongs to.
1:36:06 Rayna Greenberg? Well, I'm so tiny.
1:36:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, the butt.
1:36:08 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:36:09 Speaker 01 You know, the butt that surrounds the butthole, yeah.
1:36:12 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. People forget about my butt, because my boobs are so big, but it's a good butt.
1:36:17 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, it is.
1:36:18 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:36:18 Ashley Hesseltine? One final wild card, Sean.
1:36:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:36:21 Rayna Greenberg? Why?
1:36:21 Ashley Hesseltine? Are you gonna, you're gonna ask my?
1:36:23 Rayna Greenberg? Everyone, no, you do it.
1:36:24 Ashley Hesseltine? No, no, I'm not gonna take it away from you.
1:36:25 Rayna Greenberg? Okay, I'm glad that your sha, your head's shaved today. Why do bald guys eat pussy so much better? And then I made a note, Sean shaved his head, we can ask him if it makes him actually better.
1:36:34 Speaker 01 So, I saw a video, and they, I saw a reel recently, and it was like, man on the street kinda stuff, and they're asking drunk people stuff, and someone had asked them, what gets better with age? And someone said, a bald man's cock.
1:36:49 Rayna Greenberg? What?
1:36:50 Speaker 01 Which I think it's like, you have to try harder if you're bald.
1:36:54 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, it's like being short?
1:36:55 Rayna Greenberg? Psychological reason behind it.
1:36:56 Speaker 01 It's like being short, yeah.
1:36:57 Rayna Greenberg? Are you bald? You're not bald, though.
1:36:58 Speaker 01 I'm balding.
1:36:59 Rayna Greenberg? You are?
1:37:00 Speaker 01 Yeah. It's like, it's thinner here, and it's thin, I went early. I shaved early.
1:37:04 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, because I wouldn't be able to tell you have any male pattern going on.
1:37:07 Speaker 01 But if, it's, my hair is longer, you can see the scalp, and I didn't like it.
1:37:11 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:37:11 Speaker 01 And so I shaved it in June.
1:37:14 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:37:14 Speaker 01 And I'm still getting used to it.
1:37:16 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:37:17 Speaker 01 But, and I still don't love it. I don't love the way I look in photos, I like how I look in the mirror.
1:37:22 Rayna Greenberg? Interesting.
1:37:22 Speaker 01 I'm still getting used to it.
1:37:24 Ashley Hesseltine? I get that.
1:37:24 Rayna Greenberg? That's my face.
1:37:25 Ashley Hesseltine? That's a lot to get used to.
1:37:26 Rayna Greenberg? That's how I feel about my face. I look in the mirror and I'm like, she's killing it. I look at a photo, I'm like, that's what I look like.
1:37:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, what's happening? What's happening?
1:37:32 Ashley Hesseltine? Um, we encourage people to shave their heads. I often encourage men to go bald.
1:37:37 Speaker 01 Well, I'm also not willing to take any like finasteride or Rogaine because of what it does to your hormones.
1:37:42 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:37:42 Speaker 01 And it's like, it can impact your libido in a very serious way. And there's even something called post finasteride syndrome, which is people who take Propecia to get, to keep their hair or grow their hair back. They get a problem. They get like erectile dysfunction or watery semen or all this kind of weird low libido. They stop taking the pills. The, the side effects persist.
1:38:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Uh, yikes. Cause I mean,
1:38:04 Rayna Greenberg? Oh no.
1:38:04 Ashley Hesseltine? everything comes at a cost. I don't know. Like, there's no, I feel like perfect solution to a lot of certain things like that. And I mean, also the thing with Rogaine, cause now they have it for menoxidil, they have it for women too, is, cause I, I was having some shedding and I looked into it and you gotta commit to it forever.
1:38:18 Speaker 01 Also, there's side effects to Rogaine.
1:38:20 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:38:21 Speaker 01 There's facial sagging can come from Rogaine.
1:38:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:38:24 Speaker 01 Yeah. So it's, it's gonna cost. So I was like, do I want a hard cock or a bald head?
1:38:28 Ashley Hesseltine? Mm-hmm.
1:38:28 Speaker 01 You know, and I was like,
1:38:29 Ashley Hesseltine? Bald head?
1:38:30 Speaker 01 I'm gonna pick, wait, both. Yeah, sorry. A head of hair or a hard cock?
1:38:34 Ashley Hesseltine? But I think there's something to this, like, just a little bit of trying harder. If this is a correlation. It's just like, I'm bald now, I gotta eat pussy a little better.
1:38:42 Speaker 01 And I gotta hit the gym.
1:38:43 Ashley Hesseltine? Uh huh.
1:38:43 Speaker 01 I gotta hit the gym. I gotta get, you know, abs or whatever, and I gotta eat pussy. But I've, I've always eaten pussy. That's never changed.
1:38:51 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay.
1:38:51 Speaker 01 So I don't know what it is about bald dudes and eating pussy.
1:38:54 Ashley Hesseltine? When did you start?
1:38:55 Speaker 01 Eating pussy?
1:38:56 Ashley Hesseltine? Like in high school?
1:38:56 Speaker 01 Like, like in middle school.
1:38:58 Rayna Greenberg? What? You were eating pussies in middle school?
1:39:01 Speaker 01 Okay, no.
1:39:01 Rayna Greenberg? Like other middle schoolers?
1:39:04 Speaker 01 Well, who else would it be?
1:39:06 Rayna Greenberg? I mean, do you remember when you first heard about people putting their mouth on your vagina?
1:39:11 Ashley Hesseltine? Bro, I remember hearing the term eating her out in middle school. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, I was like, what do you mean?
1:39:17 Speaker 01 I think I must've been in high school.
1:39:19 Ashley Hesseltine? No, no, I'm not shaming. Like,
1:39:21 Speaker 01 No, no, I know, but I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think.
1:39:23 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:39:24 Speaker 01 I think her name was Lily and I think I was in, I was a freshman in high school.
1:39:27 Rayna Greenberg? Okay. How old were you first time somebody went down on you? It was May 5th, 2001.
1:39:34 Speaker 01 What happened on May 5th, 2001?
1:39:36 Ashley Hesseltine? That was my senior prom.
1:39:38 Speaker 01 Oh, nice.
1:39:38 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. So up until then, like I'd been fingered and everything, but that was the first time someone ate my pussy. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, it's crazy. They just like go down there and start licking. Like, I was like, this is wild.
1:39:51 Rayna Greenberg? They usually have an orgasm. It's crazy.
1:39:53 Speaker 01 I've never not eaten pussy. Like, I can't, I can think of one or two interactions where I have not, and it's only because she wasn't comfortable with it. Like, it felt too intimate.
1:40:03 Ashley Hesseltine? Love it. Yeah. I mean, we had Tinks on. Do you know Tinks?
1:40:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:40:06 Ashley Hesseltine? And she kind of is like, guys who don't eat pussy are like, my hard line. She's like, I think it just says a lot about them. And she's like, I know this might be controversial and people can change, but like, an adult man who is like, I don't do that. I don't like to do it. She's like, for personally, it's not for me. And I agree with that stance.
1:40:24 Speaker 01 Yep.
1:40:24 Rayna Greenberg? I don't know, because I think about like, a woman saying like, well, I don't suck dick. And like, that's also like a personal preference. Like, you don't have to be with somebody that doesn't like that. But I'm not like so crazy about people going down on me. It's not that I don't like come. I come like too fast from it. And I'm just like done with the experience. But like, I don't, I don't need it. But guys that don't want to do it.
1:40:42 Ashley Hesseltine? That's the thing.
1:40:43 Speaker 01 That's different.
1:40:43 Rayna Greenberg? Then that's different to me. Like, I'm like, I'm not requesting it on the menu every single day. But like, if you are a hard line, I don't do it.
1:40:50 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, I want you to want to do the dishes.
1:40:51 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:40:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:40:53 Ashley Hesseltine? I want you to want to eat my pussy.
1:40:54 Speaker 01 It's giving misogyny or something.
1:40:56 Ashley Hesseltine? Yes.
1:40:56 Speaker 01 I don't, I don't exactly understand, but I feel like people who don't go down kind of hate women.
1:41:01 Ashley Hesseltine? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that.
1:41:03 Speaker 01 And it's not man, it's like not manly to go down on a woman.
1:41:06 Rayna Greenberg? Also, like, why should I be like sucking your dick, choking, tears down my face, trying to breathe?
1:41:11 Speaker 01 Balls in my, yeah, balls in my eye sockets.
1:41:13 Ashley Hesseltine? On my cheeks.
1:41:14 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah. A harder job than eating pussy. And you're just like, I'm all set?
1:41:18 Ashley Hesseltine? No, no, I could never.
1:41:19 Speaker 01 They don't call it a blowjob for nothing.
1:41:20 Ashley Hesseltine? I've never experienced a guy like that. And I don't want to.
1:41:23 Rayna Greenberg? That won't go down on you?
1:41:24 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah. I've, because I only like liberal men.
1:41:27 Speaker 01 You don't like liberal men?
1:41:28 Ashley Hesseltine? I only like liberal men.
1:41:29 Rayna Greenberg? I've let a couple of moderates sneak in there, okay? And maybe a conservative too.
1:41:34 Speaker 01 Just to see what it would feel like.
1:41:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, it depends how tall they are.
1:41:38 Rayna Greenberg? Okay, well.
1:41:39 Ashley Hesseltine? Not anymore.
1:41:40 Speaker 01 Did we answer the question?
1:41:41 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:41:41 Speaker 01 Bald man going down?
1:41:43 Ashley Hesseltine? I think it's a little bit of compensating.
1:41:45 Rayna Greenberg? Try harder, yeah.
1:41:45 Speaker 01 To anybody who's considering shaving their head, it has, I don't think it has impacted.
1:41:52 Speaker 01 How people view me, or like, I'm still able to-
1:41:54 Rayna Greenberg? Or for the better.
1:41:56 Speaker 01 Maybe only for the better, I don't know. I mean, there are probably some women that are just like, "I'm not into a shaved head." Like, that's not my style, you know? But for the most part, I'm still able to flirt with people and go on dates, and it doesn't seem to have impacted-
1:42:08 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah.
1:42:08 Speaker 01 -my love life in any negative way.
1:42:10 Rayna Greenberg? I'm glad to hear it. I have been a one-woman marketing machine for bald guys for seven years.
1:42:15 Speaker 01 Really?
1:42:16 Rayna Greenberg? Yeah, for years, I've been like, "Go get a guy that has a beard, that's bald, that's so sexy, it's so confident to me."
1:42:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:42:22 Rayna Greenberg? Because like, you are walking around, I guess, with not like, the quote-unquote "normal haircut." I think it's so confident and sexy.
1:42:28 Ashley Hesseltine? Well, I'm sure there's guys out there that are like, "Listen, yeah, what I would prefer is a full head of hair, but..."
1:42:34 Speaker 01 I would prefer a full head of hair.
1:42:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Okay, but like, the worst-case scenario is like, thinning balding hair.
1:42:40 Speaker 01 Or a limp cock.
1:42:41 Ashley Hesseltine? Or that.
1:42:42 Speaker 01 And some weird regime where you have to like, fuck with your scalp for three hours a day. I don't have time for that.
1:42:49 Ashley Hesseltine? You have to go on a ski trip.
1:42:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm going skiing.
1:42:51 Ashley Hesseltine? She convinced a guy friend to shave his head, and he was like, holding on to that last, you know, patchy-
1:42:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:42:57 Ashley Hesseltine? And he's so much hotter, and I feel like he's so much more confident, and he pulls it off, but it's just like, the worst thing you can do is really hold on for dear life.
1:43:06 Speaker 01 It's the spiritual path-
1:43:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:43:08 Speaker 01 Of, the fact is that we are aging. It's coming for all of us.
1:43:12 Ashley Hesseltine? Right.
1:43:12 Speaker 01 The bodies are not as tight, things are sagging, things don't, you know?
1:43:16 Ashley Hesseltine? And it's a privilege.
1:43:17 Speaker 01 And it's like, we just have to accept the fact that we're changing. We don't have to like, lay down and fucking get bulldozed by it. We can still go to the gym, eat well, sleep well, drink water, all that stuff, but like, we're getting colder.
1:43:27 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah, and it just happens gradually. Like, I always thought I was gonna like, lose my fucking mind when I saw gray hair, and I'm like, "I have a couple, I'm fine."
1:43:35 Rayna Greenberg? You're fine.
1:43:36 Ashley Hesseltine? Like, I thought I would like, freak out, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, all right, whatever."
1:43:40 Speaker 01 Gray hair's cool. I started going gray when I was 15, so for me, it like-
1:43:44 Ashley Hesseltine? Yeah.
1:43:44 Rayna Greenberg? Uh-huh.
1:43:45 Speaker 01 I just kind of got used to it.
1:43:46 Rayna Greenberg? Been dealing with it for a long time.
1:43:47 Speaker 01 Was this not the best?
1:43:48 Rayna Greenberg? It's just fun. I'm glad you showed up.
1:43:50 Speaker 01 Holy, yeah, me too. I didn't know it was gonna be so fun.
1:43:55 Rayna Greenberg? Oh, you wouldn't have shown up? What is that?
1:43:58 Speaker 01 No, I wouldn't have canceled.
1:43:59 Ashley Hesseltine? Everybody has fun.
1:44:00 Rayna Greenberg? Everybody really likes us. They do. People love coming on this show.
1:44:03 Speaker 01 I've heard great things, and now I can confirm them.
1:44:06 Ashley Hesseltine? I just, these dogs, you know?
1:44:07 Speaker 01 The dogs are special.
1:44:08 Ashley Hesseltine? Right, they really are.
1:44:09 Speaker 01 The dogs are special.
1:44:10 Ashley Hesseltine? I just loved talking about just anal and eating pussy just over these two.
1:44:15 Speaker 01 Angels, angels.
1:44:17 Rayna Greenberg? Tess has been laughing out loud the whole time. I'm really, I loved this episode. Well, I'm sure people want more of you. Tell them where to find your Instagram, your website, your podcast, everything.
1:44:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, my Instagram is thelovedrive. I have a podcast with the Angry Therapist, John Kim. It's called We Can Do Better, about how men and people can be better when we take listener questions. And I have a Substack called The Love Drive where I write about a lot more intimate parts of my life. And I have a retreat coming up in June at Karpalu, which is like a hippie yoga center in Western Massachusetts.
1:44:49 Rayna Greenberg? Okay.
1:44:49 Speaker 01 And it's called Love Camp, June 20, 21, and 22. All that stuff is at the link in my bio on Instagram.
1:44:56 Rayna Greenberg? Amazing.
1:44:56 Ashley Hesseltine? Amazing.
1:44:57 Rayna Greenberg? This was so much fun. Thank you for doing this.
1:44:58 Speaker 01 Thank you so much. I loved it.
1:45:01 Ashley Hesseltine? And you guys know where to find us, girlsgottaeat.com. We are Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess, ashhess.com. Reina is reina.greenberg. Vibesonly.com for the Suck and Blow Gel and all the toys and all the things, the butt plug. And you can subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend that may need it, and we will see you Thursday.
1:45:19 Rayna Greenberg? Have a good week, guys.
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