Giggling about wicked, winter trends, and projection

Hannah is fighting for her life and Paige is making a statement. get tickets to live shows pre-order our book sign up for our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 0:38Paige DeSorbo?

  View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now for $8 for a limited time only. You know I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show, and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite.

• 1:21Paige DeSorbo?

  And lastly, perfectly placed pickles, side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's, and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afegato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock, whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch.

• 2:03Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afegato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day. And this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a salted caramel or affogato crème filling. So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Affogato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite.

• 2:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, Giggler?

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:48Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my gastrointestinal giggler?

• 2:52Hannah Berner?

  I have to formally apologize. The podcast is late by a day. Surprisingly, not because of Paige, because of me. No, because of me. I have been peeing from my butthole. I'm on day three. Don't be jealous. I have a stomach flu. I know the girlies are like, why not me? Well, chase your dreams.

• 3:14Paige DeSorbo?

  But truly, when you do have a stomach flu, are you looking at the bright side of things? Where you're like, do you feel like all the toxins are just leaving your body?

• 3:21Hannah Berner?

  Some kind of detox is happening, but I'm like, what kind of devil is living in my stomach right now? Also, I think-

• 3:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You were with two kids under two.

• 3:31Hannah Berner?

  That's what Des said. Des was like, well, you're with kids, so that's what happens. Also, I think your body does just break down after a certain amount of touring. It's just part of it. Also, I looked in the mirror and I was like, oh, my God, I look so pale. And then I was like, or did my spray tan just wear off? I can't tell if I'm pale or it's just the November.

• 3:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, here's the one thing with Giggly Squad touring. I can't look pretty this many days in a row.

• 4:03Hannah Berner?

  No, I know.

• 4:04Paige DeSorbo?

  At the last show, what was our last show, Chicago? My makeup just like wouldn't actually even go on my face anymore. It was like, bitch, there's no amount of concealer and contour to make you look alive.

• 4:18Hannah Berner?

  It's, I feel like the show itself is getting funnier, but the backend is getting less funny.

• 4:26Paige DeSorbo?

  We're crashing. We're crashing. It's not good over here.

• 4:30Hannah Berner?

  And we're about to go to Texas.

• 4:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the other thing. We've also gotten- So insanely close. It's not good for humanity.

• 4:39Hannah Berner?

  No, it's not good.

• 4:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We haven't seen each other in 24 hours. We just chatted for a full hour before we recorded because so much happened.

• 4:49Hannah Berner?

  Wait, we'll literally go to bed after a show at like midnight, wake up at 9 a.m. at the airport and I'll look at her and I'll be like, what's the gossip? What's going on? And she's like, bitch, we've been asleep for nine hours straight. And I'm like, you have nothing to give me? Nothing happened since we were gone.

• 5:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I usually can muster up a small trinket of something.

• 5:10Hannah Berner?

  We'll get the smallest thing where like, did you see someone liked this on Instagram? And I'll be like, that's the tea. That's the tea.

• 5:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll just start making shit up. I'm like, imagine if this happened. Here's what, there is one small piece of discourse. I feel like I would like to address that I, I'm so proud of everyone in the arts. I'm so proud of everyone. I'm so like, I love when people find something that they love and I am so supportive of it. And I think that you should love whatever you want to love as long as it doesn't cause any bodily harm to others.

• 5:47Hannah Berner?

  You're about to say something controversial. Oh no.

• 5:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Again, I love that people love Wicked. I'm so excited for them.

• 6:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so pumped for them. I love that they're getting all their outfits. I love that they're going. I love that they're expressing themselves freely on social media in a way that they see fit for their particular lifestyle. Me on the other hand,

• 6:19Paige DeSorbo?

  no amount of musical theater

• 6:24Hannah Berner?

  can heal the world.

• 6:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Can. Spark such joy in me.

• 6:34Hannah Berner?

  It's her favorite thing to say right now, spark joy.

• 6:37Paige DeSorbo?

  That a tear just falls down my sparkled face. It just.

• 6:44Hannah Berner?

  Wait, there's two types of people. People who can hear singing live and it makes them cry. Or people who hear singing live and go, this isn't for me.

• 6:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:55Hannah Berner?

  Also, are you projecting a little bit because you have been forced by Craig to watch musicals against your will?

• 7:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, as a self-reflective person, I would like to see myself as. I thought that. I said, is this just me having group mentality and hating on something that other people hate on? And like, if it was a different, a different genre, a different situation and people were hating on me for loving something, I would say, go fuck yourself. But here's the thing, at 16 years old, my mom planned a beautiful sweet 16 for me. She got all my friends inside of a limousine. She, that drove us down to New York City. We went to lunch at Serendipity. We got the frozen hot chocolate. I loved my outfit. We then went to see the play Wicked, with the original cast, mind you. Like, we went all out.

• 7:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, I took one of the longest naps in this of my napping career. Didn't see a single second of it, okay?

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  Or was it, was, were the noises so calming? The singing was so peaceful? It just blurred you to the deepest REM sleep you've ever had.

• 8:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually felt bad for my mom. And my mom was like, oh, like, I don't care at all, Paige. Like, you had a great time with your friends. And then my grandma, my mom's mom, also dead asleep.

• 8:24Hannah Berner?

  So it's genetic?

• 8:25Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's genetic and.

• 8:28Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say something about Wicked 2, which I feel like people might look at me differently after this, but I had even less of a childhood than you. Never saw Wicked once. No, wasn't even brought up.

• 8:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't even know the story of it.

• 8:40Hannah Berner?

  Wasn't even brought up in the household.

• 8:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Wasn't even brought to the dinner table. And that's it. And that's a family that I would marry into.

• 8:47Hannah Berner?

  I was crying on tennis courts. Okay, I didn't have time to go watch two witches.

• 8:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Never came across your desk.

• 8:53Hannah Berner?

  Never came across my desk. But where I think we're jealous a little bit is that we've never loved anything as much as people love Wicked.

• 9:02Paige DeSorbo?

  They've, they've never loved, I'm like, where do I find my niche?

• 9:07Hannah Berner?

  I wish an outside source could affect my psyche so much that I could be in a bad mood. Something else happens to someone else and suddenly I'm, I'm overjoyed. I think I need to see it, though.

• 9:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm for sure gonna watch it on my couch. Like, I'm gonna throw it on and see what the hype is about.

• 9:25Hannah Berner?

  I think we should watch it, we should livestream watch it.

• 9:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm, I'm gonna say, I'm probably gonna come back to a podcast and episode and be like, I loved it. It was a great movie. But, but that is as far as I know I'll ever take it.

• 9:41Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Yes.

• 9:43Paige DeSorbo?

  You know?

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  The only time I cried was when I, I met Roger Federer.

• 9:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's just, it's not, it's not something I've ever been into. But I love, look, and I love Ariana Grande. When she came out and said, um,

• 9:59Hannah Berner?

  What did she say?

• 10:00Paige DeSorbo?

  On the podcast, Last Cultureist, which is such a hilarious podcast,

• 10:06Paige DeSorbo?

  that her fans were gonna be mad because she wants to go like more into acting and like doing im- impressions and stuff like that. I was so ha- I was like, yes, I think that's so, I don't need another pop star. I think you like did what you needed to do in...

• 10:21Hannah Berner?

  Well, life is about change and evolving.

• 10:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Music theater, theater, you love it.

• 10:25Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Well, you know what? It is a great day for musical theater kids. And again, we support musical theater kids.

• 10:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I support all the musical theater kids. I wish when I was a young child, I found that, that niche of...

• 10:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Something I love.

• 10:42Hannah Berner?

  To all those musical theater kids, you're fucking lucky that me and Paige can't sing. Cause if we could, we would never shut the fuck up. Like, we would, I'm so happy I can't sing, cause I would be arrested by now. I'd be, I'd be put underground.

• 10:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd be too powerful, is what it'd be. I'd be way too fucking powerful.

• 11:02Hannah Berner?

  I think I wouldn't be able to sustain normal relationships.

• 11:06Paige DeSorbo?

  The streets would have been made for dance.

• 11:10Hannah Berner?

  That's one thing they don't say about us. Me and you, we've never broke out into a song or a dance. I never once been like, you know what this moment needs? A little dance rehearsal.

• 11:20Paige DeSorbo?

  A little ditty. Yeah, it's, oh, bad play on words. Absolutely, absolutely not, does it need a little ditty? That's terrifying in 2024. Um, sorry to bring the mood down for a musical theater lover.

• 11:34Hannah Berner?

  We were talking about happiness and singing. Um, do you like the fashion of the premieres of Wicked?

• 11:42Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I was really hoping you weren't gonna ask me that question because you put me in an uncomfortable position.

• 11:46Hannah Berner?

  But if I'm the Barbara Walters of this podcast, I have to ask the hard questions.

• 11:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's so true. I, I, I, yes.

• 11:57Hannah Berner?

  Did you just have a stroke?

• 12:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I, I, I.

• 12:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get my voice in tune. I'm actually gonna be singing.

• 12:09Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can we discuss, I actually do love singing on tour. I have one moment in the show that I sing.

• 12:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's part of our show. Hannah breaks out into song. You are a musical theater kid at Giggly Squad Live. You break out into dance and song.

• 12:24Hannah Berner?

  Have you ever once on stage let yourself sing for a second? And immediately, I'm on American Idol. We're in front of 3,000 girls with a mic and I'm like, I could say whatever fuck I want right now. And I start just singing and then you're like, please stop.

• 12:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how you do it. We were at one show and a girl said, got up and said, it's my best friend's birthday. Will you sing happy birthday to her? I went into an immediate cold sweat.

• 12:45Hannah Berner?

  I did the Marilyn Monroe version and I was like, happy birthday.

• 12:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and that's why you're my best friend, cause I was like, Hannah will pop out with something.

• 12:54Hannah Berner?

  Cause one thing we've learned in the Giggly Squad Live show is that I am a people pleaser. Is that anything the Gigglers ask me to do, I will do. They're like, can you shave your head? And I said, oh, okay, fine.

• 13:05Paige DeSorbo?

  If you don't believe her, you should see her getting on a plane the next morning, not being able to walk because her lower back is fucked because she keeps doing the worm.

• 13:14Hannah Berner?

  I'm also doing the worm in mini dresses. So my Amazon granny panties are just out. I don't even know if people want to see that.

• 13:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, God.

• 13:24Hannah Berner?

  So anyway, stop trying to distract me. The wicked fashion, what are we thinking? I just think they've done a lot of premieres. How many premieres? They've been premiering for about a year.

• 13:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's one thing I will say when there's a movie premiering and they're like very much in the character of that movie throughout their fashion of the press junket. I love it. I love that they like stay on theme. I loved Margot Robbie like doing all the Barbie outfits. I thought it was just like fun. Like, when else are you gonna be able to wear those kinds of outfits? So I'm so into both of the leads leaning into their characters in a fashion sense. Do I think some of it could have been like a little bit more interesting to look at? Yeah, but who doesn't have an opinion?

• 14:11Hannah Berner?

  That was so Kim Kardashian of you. Sorry, you're the... Did she say that or did...? Yeah.

• 14:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes the phrase, come on, give me nothing, comes to mind, but who am I to judge? Who am I to judge? I'm barely afloat.

• 14:26Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what it is?

• 14:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm barely keeping it going.

• 14:28Hannah Berner?

  You know what it is? I think Ariana's color palette. And look, I don't even believe in the whole winter, spring, summer thing. I think that's all bullshit on Instagram. You know, when they're like, clearly she's a winter, spring. And it's like, no, it's not clear because she actually looks good in all those shades of pink. And no one's like gonna be ugly with a slightly different shade of pink. Anyway.

• 14:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  As an Italian, let's not forget, she's Italian. She's Italian. And as an Italian who's bleached her hair blonde before, it's not meant for us sometimes. Sometimes.

• 15:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes.

• 15:02Hannah Berner?

  Sometimes.

• 15:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I have loved Ariana Grande for so long. I thought, I've always thought she's an incredible singer and...

• 15:12Hannah Berner?

  And she's hilarious. Let's acknowledge that she is hilarious. Yes.

• 15:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And I know we make a lot of jokes about blondes sometimes on this podcast, but there's just some things that only a blonde can do, like a gorgeous drop dead blonde. And I just think Ariana is better suited as a brunette.

• 15:30Hannah Berner?

  I can't wait for the brunette comeback. Sometimes, you know what? You don't miss it till it's gone. And I think that's what life is about. We have to have our different experiences in life to acknowledge.

• 15:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We're growing.

• 15:41Hannah Berner?

  We're growing.

• 15:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Our struggles.

• 15:43Hannah Berner?

  We're learning. Wait, and also about fashion. Have you heard of the fashion trend, Madam Sandler?

• 15:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I have not. Neither has I come across my.

• 15:54Hannah Berner?

  Neither did I. I did this like interview with this magazine and they were like, what do you think of Madam Sandler? And then I was like, am I that person that hasn't seen the TikTok clips yet? And I was like, I'm Gen Z. So like, I don't know what you're talking about. But apparently it's like dressing like Adam Sandler, but with like a little cunt. Like, so like a tight top with like a cargo pant. So it's like.

• 16:15Paige DeSorbo?

  So kind of like a little Carrie Brown, like add a little pop of Carrie Brown.

• 16:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. So it's like Adam Sandler, but sexy. And I'm into that.

• 16:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm into that.

• 16:24Hannah Berner?

  Then we also for fall, or I guess it's becoming winter already, um, the frazzled English woman.

• 16:33Hannah Berner?

  That's a new trend. So it's basically like you're looking like you just, you threw on all these layers and your scarf is falling off and your hat's falling.

• 16:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Who the fuck is coming up with these? I'm done. I'm done now. I've hit my limit.

• 16:48Hannah Berner?

  I think it's AI. I think it's AI.

• 16:50Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not, I'm not doing a new persona every time.

• 16:54Hannah Berner?

  Someone's having some identity problems and they're projecting. This is the projecting episode.

• 17:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I can't be all of these things.

• 17:04Hannah Berner?

  Paige, you've always been aware of trends, and I've brought this up before because this is the first year I'm aware of trends. Do you feel fucked with by the industry that they're like, oh, now we're not doing glazed donut nails. Now we have to do glazed coffee nails. And it's like, at one point, are you like, stop fucking with me?

• 17:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It's too much.

• 17:23Hannah Berner?

  Stop fucking with me. Because I like glazed donut nails and I'd like to continue them.

• 17:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, here's, I will say, in, from a style standpoint, as I get older, I feel like I do lean, I, I love a trend. I do love like trying certain things and like Giggly Squad Live is actually a perfect place for like, where I'm like, where will I ever wear this? Okay, I'll wear it to Giggly Squad. But in my everyday life, I, I've just, I've started to feel like I've, I've leaned more classic style because I'm on trend overload.

• 17:54Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 17:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I, like, I can't do it anymore.

• 17:56Hannah Berner?

  And I do think sometimes trends can help you learn about yourself. Like every now and then you'll see a trend and be like, I fuck with that. Take that. But then leave all the other trends that you don't think is made for you because then-

• 18:07Paige DeSorbo?

  It, it's too much.

• 18:08Hannah Berner?

  Capitalism wins again.

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

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• 18:51Paige DeSorbo?

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• 19:33Paige DeSorbo?

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. Absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 20:06Hannah Berner?

  We have to give credit where credit's due.

• 20:09Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's to Quince.

• 20:10Hannah Berner?

  We really love Quince. Everyone in our family loves Quince. And it's priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, which is what I get a high off of. I get a kick off of.

• 20:21Paige DeSorbo?

  And the holiday season is coming. If you don't know what to buy, someone truly just go to Quince. I actually gifted myself recently all new bath towels. Cause after a couple of years, you're like, gross, I gotta get new bath towels.

• 20:32Hannah Berner?

  What did you like about them?

• 20:33Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so big. Like they're

• 20:36Hannah Berner?

  Oh, and they're like good quality.

• 20:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And they're like, yeah, I'll put me and my whole family in this towel.

• 20:42Hannah Berner?

  I need new towels. I'm gonna buy them. They also work directly with ethical factories and cut the middlemen. So that's how they're able to have such affordable and high quality. They have 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

• 20:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a navy blue one. It's always with me because it's small enough that like you can throw it in your bag, but it is warm enough that you don't need another piece.

• 21:03Hannah Berner?

  They also have really cool rugs.

• 21:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Mmm.

• 21:05Hannah Berner?

  I know. Check out their rugs.

• 21:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I should.

• 21:07Hannah Berner?

  And they have really good like leather bags and jewelry. Like literally anything you want is at Quince.

• 21:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that Giggly Squad sent you and support our show.

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• 22:29Hannah Berner?

  Can I say one thing about the male population?

• 22:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd love if you did.

• 22:34Hannah Berner?

  Have you thought about when people get married, how men are Mr.? They're always Mr., whether they're married or not. But once you get married, you are not MS anymore, you are MRS. And it comes from the old-school concept that like, women are only about...

• 22:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I love, wait, hold on. I love when you're telling a fact and like, your voice changes a little. Like, if it's...

• 23:00Hannah Berner?

  It's my teacher voice.

• 23:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I love the inflection of a fact. You know?

• 23:06Hannah Berner?

  And fact is a strong word.

• 23:08Paige DeSorbo?

  This rarely happens in this hour. Yeah, but we do want to differentiate.

• 23:15Hannah Berner?

  Take out your notebooks, kids, because today, I'm about to teach you about life.

• 23:20Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like if Ms. Frizzle grew up.

• 23:24Hannah Berner?

  By the way, someone said they yassified Ms. Frizzle. Like, the way she looks now, she like, doesn't even have curly hair. She has like, a snatched waist. Did you see that?

• 23:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, that'll bring me to tears. I have seen it. It's so, it's so un... Coming. It's so, it's not right.

• 23:41Hannah Berner?

  No, like, when did she get a keratin treatment on her hair?

• 23:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, Ms. Frizzle made every wacky art teacher like my favorite teacher.

• 23:54Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Normalize the frazzled art teacher for fall as a trend. Don't brush your hair. Um, so yeah, when, when we get married, we have to change our front of our name to MRS because women's value is intrinsically if we're married to a man or not.

• 24:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Hold up on that fact.

• 24:20Hannah Berner?

  No, but it's important for society.

• 24:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Value is what? Women's value is what?

• 24:27Hannah Berner?

  I don't know where that came from. I have a stomach bug right now and you're liter- I'm about to shit myself. Like, I am holding my butthole by a thread right now. I'm holding on by a thread. I'm saying that, why do we have to know if women are married or not, but we don't have to know if men are or not? Because it affects women's status to know if they are married or not. Cause I'm sorry.

• 24:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Hundred percent.

• 24:53Hannah Berner?

  Why does my husband stay mister, but suddenly I have to change it to MRS? Cause suddenly I'm more of value, cause I'm married. Actually, a lot of the time, your husband makes your life worse.

• 25:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, statistically, that.

• 25:07Hannah Berner?

  So my thing is, I'm done. I'm done with the MRS. I'm done. We're not doing it.

• 25:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually, I mean, sometimes I'll see like M I S S, like Ms. Paige DeSorbo, but I, if I have to write it myself, I use M S. Cause I'm like, they don't need to know my business. They don't need to know if I'm misses or miss.

• 25:31Hannah Berner?

  So M S means you're single.

• 25:34Paige DeSorbo?

  It does? I thought it was just like a vague one. I thought M I S S is single.

• 25:39Hannah Berner?

  I feel like M I S S and M S are the same, and then M R S means you're married.

• 25:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, so I've just been playing.

• 25:47Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. I could be making that up though. Cause again, when was the last time I wrote my name?

• 25:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, that's true. Well, that's very true. No, I, I, yeah, I see that. I mean, but that's, I feel like that's not going away.

• 26:02Hannah Berner?

  I feel like it should.

• 26:04Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I don't want to know if a man is married or not. I don't want to be involved in their issues. Like, I like, keep me, keep me out of it. I'm fine.

• 26:14Hannah Berner?

  Why did you write Instagram stories on DMs?

• 26:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God. I just got the Instagram update with the little statuses.

• 26:22Hannah Berner?

  Oh, the notes.

• 26:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Right above your DMs.

• 26:24Hannah Berner?

  The notes.

• 26:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I hate them. I get, get them out of here.

• 26:27Hannah Berner?

  Well, this is what, I've had them for a while. This is what people don't realize. When you write a little note, it's only to people that you follow. So don't like promote your show or like promote stuff. Think it's going to all your followers. It's not. It's going to your friends who don't care.

• 26:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't talk on it. Don't type in it.

• 26:46Hannah Berner?

  Don't.

• 26:47Paige DeSorbo?

  It's, I, I hate it.

• 26:48Hannah Berner?

  I actually, but I like it because I learn a lot about people from it. Because I'm like, if you're a person.

• 26:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, to unfriend them.

• 26:55Hannah Berner?

  If you're a person who writes in it too often, who are you talking to?

• 27:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, here's the other thing. You only see the first four all the time for 24 hours. I'm like, I, I've seen what you guys have been doing.

• 27:08Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what I realized about my Instagram? I follow 6,000 people.

• 27:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a freak. That's stimulation overload for me. You're a freak. Wait.

• 27:20Hannah Berner?

  You don't see them. I see the same 40 people every day that I don't want to see.

• 27:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Can we talk about People's Sexiest Man Alive? A little front page news action?

• 27:32Hannah Berner?

  So was that just announced today?

• 27:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yesterday.

• 27:34Hannah Berner?

  Oh, John Krasinski?

• 27:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Why did I see the version? That it was Benny Blanco?

• 27:41Hannah Berner?

  Maybe they're doing a test. Maybe they're doing an A B test. They put out in the public to see reactions.

• 27:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Or mine was like a fake TikTok because I was like, there's no way.

• 27:49Hannah Berner?

  Also, I just feel like in the current climate, we don't need a People's Sexiest Man Alive right now. Ask for the, I feel like all the girls are like, uh, like, no, thank you.

• 28:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it's funny is that like, anything like that for women has been like completely scrubbed off the face of the earth. Like, like we don't, people don't even do like a best and worst dress list anymore because it's just like, whatever. Some reason people's Sexiest Man Alive is just like with stealth withheld the test of time. It's like, we can't go on unless we know who the sexiest man alive is. Here's the thing, I don't care that it's like, I like it, it's whatever. I don't feel a certain type of way about it. But it's typically someone who's like been in the news the past year, who's like made some type of impact or like we've seen a movie from them.

• 28:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Or they've been like impressed. John Krasinski, who I love, who I actually do find like attractive. I don't even, I'm not mad that he's the sexiest man alive.

• 28:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm not mad about it, but again, it didn't, it does nothing for me.

• 28:56Paige DeSorbo?

  But I'm like, wait, what, why, what's going on? Like, I was like, did something happen that I missed? It was just a very interesting PR play unless he's about to like, start doing a lot of press and PR because he's like, working on a project.

• 29:11Hannah Berner?

  I mean, I know his wife has been working. I know Emily's been.

• 29:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say.

• 29:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm glad that he's getting facials at home, being the sexiest man alive, while Emily has been working her little butt off, changing her whole accent in multiple movies.

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Has she done anything this year?

• 29:28Hannah Berner?

  She did the Fallout thing with Ryan.

• 29:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:32Hannah Berner?

  And then she was on fucking Oppenheimer and then she had to do the whole press tour for that. She's busy, but I'm glad, oh my God. Oh my God.

• 29:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You're livid?

• 29:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 29:46Hannah Berner?

  Oh, wait, I'm trying to think who I wouldn't be mad at. And also John Krasinski, I've not, like, I literally, I've seen, I saw him in elevator once, tall.

• 29:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Love him.

• 29:55Hannah Berner?

  It's just like, we could do more. I feel like Sexiest Man Alive, like, give me something that gives me a guttural feeling. Like, give me someone, give me an old man.

• 30:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, I actually, why wasn't it Killian Murphy? Hello.

• 30:09Hannah Berner?

  It's funny, immediately I was like, Hailie Murphy, Paul Mescal, literally, pick any of them.

• 30:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, give me one of them.

• 30:16Hannah Berner?

  Also, give me someone who's like, John Krasinski's, he was funny in his show, but like, where's the guy who's like, who's, has a good personality?

• 30:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Give me someone Gen Z, that's like, about to be the next generation's Brad Pitt. Give me someone who like, I'm about to watch grow, not like.

• 30:37Hannah Berner?

  So they put that guy role model, which was, which was random, and I don't, I, I don't really know who he is. It was, it's.

• 30:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I have no idea who that is.

• 30:45Hannah Berner?

  It was very, it's very random, but he had a funny like TikTok about how like, he's like, all these guys don't need this, I do.

• 30:54Hannah Berner?

  He's like, no one's even gonna tell Harry Styles, his publicist won't even tell him if he wins this.

• 31:03Hannah Berner?

  Name one man.

• 31:05Paige DeSorbo?

  If Billy Eichner literally found me on the street, I would die. Name one man.

• 31:10Hannah Berner?

  Do you know who I think is hot? Jonathan Bailey from Wicked.

• 31:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, why the heck, now here, now I'm, I'm, I stand with the music theater folk. Why the fuck was it not Jonathan Bailey? There's a few gay men in, over the course of my lifetime. A lot in real life, honestly, that, that I have found out that they were gay and my heart has literally shattered. Jonathan Bailey is one of them, that I'm like, wait a minute, so you're saying there's a 0.0. When there's a, as a female, like if you see like a super hot guy, like a Matthew McConaughey, you're like, yes, he's like happily married, he's so hot, like, there's a zero chance that I would ever marry Matthew McConaughey. But zero is still like, a fine for me.

• 32:00Hannah Berner?

  Zero's still on the board.

• 32:02Paige DeSorbo?

  When it's 0.0, it's a different kind of hurt. It's like, oh, they wouldn't even look at you.

• 32:08Hannah Berner?

  My current gay crush, I would sit on his fucking face.

• 32:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Who is it?

• 32:15Hannah Berner?

  Cooper Koch.

• 32:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, no, I feel the same way.

• 32:20Hannah Berner?

  But it's so easy for gay men to put on straight boys. And then it's so funny that they have to like dumb themselves down to be straight boys. You sent me that TikTok, this guy was like, okay, I want to try to do a straight voice, and he's like, what's up?

• 32:35Paige DeSorbo?

  He like, he's like, I'm gonna do a straight voice while I'm ordering Chipotle and he just says the word bowl. And it's so fucking funny. He's like, can I have a bowl?

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  Wait, also, people don't talk about how the sh- what's, what is the guy with Ariana? What's his name?

• 32:51Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you phrase that perfectly. What is the guy with Ariana? He did an interview, I said, what?

• 32:59Hannah Berner?

  SpongeBob SquarePants, what's his name? What is his name?

• 33:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Does it matter? Does it matter? I have no idea.

• 33:05Hannah Berner?

  That is a man who made a very smart decision and he said, look, just on the street, no girl's coming up to me. But in musical theater where I'm the only straight guy, I am Brad Pitt.

• 33:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I, I, this man had a whole ass wife and newborn child.

• 33:24Hannah Berner?

  I envisioned that him and Ariana had a Martha Stewart moment where Ariana was like, you know, we were all singing wicked. And it was so beautiful and emotional and everyone was crying and I just thought, I'm gonna make out with that man. I think that's what happened. I think music, they fell in love with the music and then fell in love with each other.

• 33:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's why I don't trust it.

• 33:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and you ever fall, people have said like, sometimes you fall in love with people, people fall in love with you because like you love what they do or you, you wanna be them. Like, do you, do you wanna be them or do you love them? And I think sometimes you fall in love with someone because you wanna be them and then you realize, I don't wanna be them and then you fall out of love.

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a thing on TikTok and it said Leos fall in love with people because they like that they like them.

• 34:15Hannah Berner?

  That's me.

• 34:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I'm the opposite. I fall in love with people because I like that they don't like me.

• 34:22Hannah Berner?

  No, wait, that's so funny because people. I?

• 34:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, what'd you say? You don't like me? Okay.

• 34:29Hannah Berner?

  I'm so proud of girls who were like, he's cool, but like, he was boring, or like, I didn't like his personality. With me?

• 34:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:36Hannah Berner?

  I got that. I'm bringing it. I got it already.

• 34:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:40Hannah Berner?

  All I need-

• 34:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll put you on my back.

• 34:42Hannah Berner?

  Is for you to see me as the, as the light that I am. And the second you see me, I say, I don't care if he's so fucking dumb, he saw me. Which means, no one else sees his genius. And if I'm the only one that saw his genius, that's another, another level of mental illness that I have to work on, but.

• 35:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:01Hannah Berner?

  Now for the sex portion of the show. We've been saying this on stage, which is so funny, because we've been asking guys about their favorite sex positions. And we started to realize, like, there are sex positions, for me at least. I will only do, like, third or fourth time we hook up, just to like, secure the bag.

• 35:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, get the energy thrown in there.

• 35:23Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, I'm doing reverse cowgirl.

• 35:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm showing you what I'm capable of, but I'm not making a habit of it.

• 35:30Hannah Berner?

  Yes, and during it, you remember why you don't do this all the time and why you save it.

• 35:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:35Hannah Berner?

  And once you do it, you're like, oh, I'm not gonna do this for a couple of months, thank God.

• 35:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes, thank God.

• 35:41Hannah Berner?

  People who are like, oh, it's Wednesday, 6pm, long day at work, let's just 69. That's crazy behavior. That's crazy, that's overstimulating. That's-

• 35:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No one's ever come home from a long, hard day. And said, you know what, I'd like to, what could make me the most uncomfortable while having to pretend that I love it?

• 36:06Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what's wrong with our soc- I mean, there's a lot of things wrong with our society, but one thing is, we only talk about sex when it's the beginning of meeting someone. Like, movies, books, it's always the sex in the beginning, which is like, yeah. You want, you want to hump each other all the time. Let's discuss the sex of three years in. And people try to be like, oh yeah, three years in, like, oh, we don't fuck anymore. It's not that either. It's something else that no one talks about, which is, look, it's, it's, it's more complicated. It's more nuanced.

• 36:40Paige DeSorbo?

  It's more complicated.

• 36:41Hannah Berner?

  Also, there's, there's the sex where you don't even kiss anyone.

• 36:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Why, when I-

• 36:45Hannah Berner?

  You don't even kiss.

• 36:45Paige DeSorbo?

  When I picture, I never kissed during sex, even in the beginning.

• 36:50Hannah Berner?

  You gotta pay more for that. If you want tongue, you gotta pay more.

• 36:55Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not for me. It's not for me.

• 36:57Hannah Berner?

  All the guys in the Midwest.

• 36:58Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not for me.

• 36:58Hannah Berner?

  All the guys in the Midwest like to do missionary so they could hold eye contact.

• 37:05Hannah Berner?

  Paige is upset.

• 37:07Paige DeSorbo?

  That made me deeply uncomfortable.

• 37:09Hannah Berner?

  That gave you a UTI.

• 37:11Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a time and place for us to hold eye contact sexually and it's never and nowhere. Like I, it's like, once in a blue moon, okay, you're like feeling so inspired to be in love.

• 37:24Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Great. But like, most often, don't look at me.

• 37:29Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what my toxic trait is? Cause I'm a Leo.

• 37:33Hannah Berner?

  Lights on, baby. I go, if we're gonna do it, if we're gonna do it, let's fucking go.

• 37:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a lights on.

• 37:41Hannah Berner?

  You're lights on.

• 37:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I get, well, here's the thing. I have vision problems like already to begin with. Like I get, I get dizzy pretty easily. I can't be changing lighting.

• 37:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I don't like when it's like, oh, let's have sex, turn off the lights and find me. I'm like, I'm not playing hide and go seek right now. Like.

• 37:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if anything, that's freakier because God knows what I'm doing with my face when I know someone can't see it. Like I am wilding out here. Like it's not.

• 38:05Hannah Berner?

  I like to know where he is in the room. Like I don't trust you. Like I need to keep tabs on you. I'm not, we're not hiding in a dark room and then trying to find each other, chasing each other around the room.

• 38:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

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• 40:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, we were on tour this week. Did anything? I'm trying to think of anything fucked up.

• 40:53Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can I, can I throw you onto the bus?

• 40:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I suppose.

• 40:57Hannah Berner?

  I learned something about you that I didn't know onstage. Because we get Q and As and every now and then I'm like, Mom, they know that.

• 41:06Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember the towel question?

• 41:07Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a learning process for us. The towel question?

• 41:11Hannah Berner?

  They asked like about cleaning towels. This is something like-

• 41:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Do me and Craig, do me and Craig, was it, do me and Craig share-

• 41:18Hannah Berner?

  Do you guys share a towel? And you responded with, I've, the wildest answer I've ever heard in my life. And I, but I didn't say that at the time. I supported you in public.

• 41:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You supported me in public and I appreciate that.

• 41:31Hannah Berner?

  And I need to discuss deeper. Hey, what you mean by that?

• 41:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I actually, I actually wasn't even aware of my actions in that moment were offensive to anyone. So I'm glad that you're bringing it up.

• 41:43Hannah Berner?

  The environment.

• 41:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Personally to me. I consider myself a relatable, down-to-earth person.

• 41:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Again, let me first and foremost say that. When it comes to towels, I am rich. Okay? My bank account has no bounds. The limit does not exist. I am spending money on towels. So if a person comes into my home and they say, hey, I need to grab a quick shower, no problem. I've got a towel for you. In fact, I've got seven towels, one for each day of the week. Because on certain days, I'm a two-towel girl and that's just how it is. I don't pick that lifestyle.

• 42:21Hannah Berner?

  Right there, just to confirm. You have a towel for each day of the week for yourself?

• 42:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Correct.

• 42:27Hannah Berner?

  So after you pu- you wash, you dry yourself, you put the towel in the dry, in the hamper?

• 42:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Not, not always. If it's a, if it was a light wash day, like if I felt like, if it wasn't a spray tan day and there's nothing on the towel, I'll hang that baby up.

• 42:45Hannah Berner?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 42:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll use her tomorrow.

• 42:48Hannah Berner?

  I'm seeing some sanity. Cause spray tan-

• 42:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll use her tomorrow.

• 42:53Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 42:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, the real problem that we would have to address here, because this is much deeper than I. This is, this is, this is generational. Growing up.

• 43:06Paige DeSorbo?

  My mother said, "Hey, dinner's over. It's time for your bath." And I went upstairs and I took a bath. I used a towel. That towel was trucked. Who knows where that towel went? That's a home of four people using different towels every single day. I don't know what towel ring this bitch was running. But that's how I grew up. It was, it was fresh towel, fresh shower, fresh day.

• 43:33Hannah Berner?

  Now, I appreciate that Kim has gone above and beyond as a mother.

• 43:40Hannah Berner?

  And I'm not about to be judgy McJudgerstein because now I'm realizing.

• 43:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I was conditioned.

• 43:45Hannah Berner?

  You were conditioned. It's not your fault. But also, I am on the other hand, where I'm like, "Does this towel still smell okay?"

• 43:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't identify with you.

• 43:55Hannah Berner?

  And then I think, "Oh, my God, if I have to put the towel in the wash, it's gonna take forever to dry." And do I want to deal with that admin?

• 44:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Not in my house. Not over here.

• 44:09Paige DeSorbo?

  We got towels for days.

• 44:14Hannah Berner?

  They're just so thick. And then you know, you have to redo the whole dryer again because the towel is moist. She's like, "I can't..."

• 44:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I, I literally, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. I don't have, here's the thing. I have alleviated towel mishaps from my everyday.

• 44:34Hannah Berner?

  So has Craig ever used your towel?

• 44:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sure. But it doesn't matter because if then he used it after me, that is probably go, I'm not using it anyway. Oh, two uses. I look at it as, oh, two uses out of that towel.

• 44:50Hannah Berner?

  How often do you do laundry?

• 44:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That really, we're really getting to the nitty gritty.

• 44:54Hannah Berner?

  It's always on.

• 44:58Hannah Berner?

  It's like a, a, a white noise machine. It keeps me calm.

• 45:04Paige DeSorbo?

  It depends because like, being on tour, our schedules are just like so, such mayhem. When I get home from like a leg of tour. I'm doing whatever laundry is in my suitcase and in the hamper. And then it's building up until I get back from like that next leg. So I'm probably doing laundry like once a week like. Right now I am doing laundry like currently like the my washer and dryer are both going. But I like to leave for tour having no dirty laundry. That's what my goal is. Every time I leave for a leg of tour, there's no dirty laundry.

• 45:40Hannah Berner?

  If you go out to dinner wearing jeans. You're out for like four hours, no dancing, but good heavy gossip like you know, the heart rate got up.

• 45:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 45:51Hannah Berner?

  Are you washing those jeans?

• 45:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No, here's the other thing. I don't wash. I I'm only washing my pajamas, my sweats, my towels, my underwear. Am I rarely, I'm rarely washing like clothes.

• 46:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. She goes after I wear a dress, I throw it away.

• 46:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Unless I've sweat in like a turtleneck or like a T-shirt. I'm washing my T-shirts, but. Like, okay, like my tour outfits, like my blazers, all that like, no, I'm not like washing that shit. I'm not washing my jeans.

• 46:27Hannah Berner?

  Well, you also don't.

• 46:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm washing my jeans like once a month. I also don't sweat.

• 46:32Hannah Berner?

  And for anyone who's wondering about my medicinal wipes that I was.

• 46:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:38Hannah Berner?

  I haven't really been using them because I don't believe in them or Bluetooth.

• 46:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Hannah said something wild the other day that she doesn't use. Hannah, what was it? We were in the airport. I said, Hannah, I have to draw the line. It's twenty twenty four. That's it was like a ballpoint pen. It was something so. Archaic that like everyone's been using for like probably thirty years and Hannah's like, I don't trust it. I don't, the science hasn't backed it. It was something so crazy. I'll think of it. I have to.

• 47:10Hannah Berner?

  You know what's crazy? I don't remember our show in Ohio. Like I can't find it in my brain.

• 47:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you want to know what's crazy? I am like that with like every event in my life unless you tell me what unless you tell me what I was wearing and I can recall at least I can like find one memory from it. And so from Ohio, I know that my dress broke.

• 47:34Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my gosh. Okay, let me tell you guys the tea. Early on, her button pops off, but she's fine. She's not moving. She's in the chair the whole time. She's fine, but she's looking at me like the world is over. Also, there's another button that's securing the dress. Like, her dress isn't wide open.

• 47:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I'm not naked.

• 47:49Hannah Berner?

  She's not naked. It's just the sparkly button she liked on it that was there pretty much purely for just style.

• 47:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I wore I wore the wrong pair of boots yesterday. I forgot to put the correct boots with an outfit and then I went and took to took a picture. The self-loathing that happened that night that I put the wrong boots on. It changed the whole course of my evening.

• 48:09Hannah Berner?

  Oh, you wore the wrong boots in one of these last shows?

• 48:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I yesterday I had to take a picture for something and I wore the wrong boots.

• 48:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Not the wrong boots for like a brand or anything, just in my own head, I wore the wrong boots. And I'm like, and now I'm going to post this picture and I'm going to know that I have the wrong boots on. That would have made the outfit so much better, but the people won't know that. And it's changed my whole. I can't stop thinking about it.

• 48:33Hannah Berner?

  Okay, and I love that you're spiraling over that right now.

• 48:38Hannah Berner?

  Because sometimes we take external things that we're stressed about and we put it into something that we find more familiar. Um, also, I would argue that changed change your perspective. You say, you know what? Why are we saying it's worse? Maybe it's better.

• 48:53Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not, though, because I have eyes and I can look at the picture and the outfit.

• 48:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Finish your original thought. I don't know.

• 49:02Hannah Berner?

  Oh, oh, I was saying when I was you guys, I've been having liquid diarrhea for three days. I have nothing left. I watched

• 49:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 49:12Hannah Berner?

  My crazy.

• 49:13Paige DeSorbo?

  My dress broke in Ohio and I was like.

• 49:15Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, sorry. Your dress broke Ohio. Real upset. Next day. She is uppity on stage. Like Paige is like, actually, I'm gonna, I'll take this joke and she's, she's riffing. She's like, she's like at the point where I was just enjoying the show. I sat back, I was laughing.

• 49:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I was on.

• 49:34Hannah Berner?

  I said, who is this girl on stage right now? Not that she isn't always hilarious, but she had a spunk to her and I literally onstage called her out. I was like, you're killing it right now. Are you okay? Like, I was like, did she take a new beta walker? Like, what's going on?

• 49:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like had I doubled up?

• 49:48Hannah Berner?

  And she looks at me and she goes, oh, I love my outfit tonight. And I was like, you simple motherfucker. All you need is to just like your outfit and suddenly she's singing the Star Spangled Banner onstage.

• 50:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, I'm a simple gal. People want to always put all these things on me. Oh, she's high maintenance. She's a bitch. She's blah, blah, blah. I'm a simple, simple girl. I'm just a girl. When I put, when, when you go shopping and you see a top that you like, you say, oh, I really like that top. I'm gonna buy that because I know that I would wear that top. Sometimes you're not thinking what you're going to pair that top with. So the top comes in the mail, you look at it and you say, what do I have in here? That I could put together with it. And when I find the most perfect ensemble of something that I wasn't even pre-planning or buying to go with a specific item,

• 50:42Paige DeSorbo?

  the joy that sparks in my creativity and I feel like so accomplished. I'm like, oh my God, that looks so fucking cool. And I just did that in 10 minutes. I take that with me everywhere.

• 50:54Hannah Berner?

  Not to call you a hypocrite, but the Wicked fans are furious right now because they're like, this bitch is coming for me for being so happy about a three hour movie and a musical that's been one of the best selling for years and this bitch just put together a top and a bottom. A magic set arguably that goes together and it made her life and it made her, do you know the demons I'm fighting in my own mind?

• 51:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Just as for Wicked.

• 51:18Hannah Berner?

  Just as for Wicked.

• 51:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Just as for Wicked.

• 51:21Hannah Berner?

  Ariana Grande. I wish that putting a top and a bottom that kind of look cute together would erase all my anxieties. I wish it could be that peaceful up here.

• 51:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I left Toronto show being like, do I need beta bloggers? Is that a placebo effect?

• 51:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Did I just have to remember who the fuck I was?

• 51:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Everything is relative and it's all perspective and nothing is real.

• 51:50Hannah Berner?

  Not to be negative, but I find when something horrible is happening in my life, the only way I truly get over it is for something hor- else horrible to happen. Cause then you will forget about the other horrible thing, because you're too fixated on the normal thing. And that's called moving and grooving. That's called just keep swimming. But I like that with you. It's like, just keep trying on another outfit each day. And one of those outfits is gonna inspire you to live life to the fullest.

• 52:18Hannah Berner?

  But I, while I was bleeding from my butthole yesterday, I watched Crazy, My Crazy Ex. I think it's, it's not My Crazy Ex Girlfriend, which is a great show also. This is like a documentary thing. I get hesitant when these documentaries come out. True crime that are like five different seasons about a certain topic. Cause I'm like, I don't know, why aren't they on their own? Like, are they too weak enough stories to not be on their own? Why are we doing this? When I tell you each story brought it. When I tell you these exes.

• 52:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, like each episode is a different situation.

• 52:54Hannah Berner?

  Just a girl sitting there or a guy being like, so I met this person out of Wendy's and, and then it's the most insane story you've ever heard in your fucking life. Like people getting framed for, for stuff they didn't do, going to jail because their ex.

• 53:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know that that's one thing that like in my childhood that I was really afraid of in my adulthood? Like I thought people were gonna be out here framing each other way more often. Like I was really scared of being framed.

• 53:26Hannah Berner?

  Do you know why? Cause it was really easy in the eighties to frame people because they didn't have DNA.

• 53:31Hannah Berner?

  I'd be so scared in the eighties. They just had to be like, she done it. That's what they did with the witches in Salem. They were like, she did it. She's a witch.

• 53:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I just feel like people don't talk about, like, there had to have be, had to have been like a lot of fleeing. Like if some, like if someone in Salem was like, you're a witch, I'd be like, okay, and I'm out. See ya. Going to the next town.

• 53:50Hannah Berner?

  There are a lot of like eye contact, like, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. You're a witch. God damn it. Now I need to go to Seattle.

• 53:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's like, I didn't want to journey right now and I have to journey.

• 54:02Hannah Berner?

  But also, is there some peace knowing that back then, you could just like flee and then no one could contact you? Like now, I go anywhere and I still get a text from that one person from high school who's fucking annoying.

• 54:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No, could you just like go to a different state and change your name and no one would ever know? Yeah, that sounds fucking amazing.

• 54:21Hannah Berner?

  I feel like you could, we could do that in Europe if we wanted to. I mean, we almost did it in Toronto this weekend.

• 54:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally almost stayed. I freaking love Toronto.

• 54:32Hannah Berner?

  We had some, um, drama with Chicago. A little bit.

• 54:39Paige DeSorbo?

  We did?

• 54:40Hannah Berner?

  The Italian food was really good. We did make a comment about the pizza.

• 54:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing. I respect all of your states and where everyone is from. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have my own opinions. I was booed in the middle, in the Midwest. At multiple shows and I stuck by my statements at each show.

• 54:58Hannah Berner?

  I like respect you more because I would have folded like a cheap beach chair. I would have been like, yes, whatever you guys want.

• 55:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's one thing, I'm not a fair weathered, like, you can't just sway my opinion and you think I'm gonna go with your group. Like, I will stand on my own if I need to stand on my own. And something that I am standing ten toes down on is... What are they called?

• 55:20Hannah Berner?

  Ten toes down on, um, I was gonna say Dutch oven pizzas, um...

• 55:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god. No, the Midwest.

• 55:28Hannah Berner?

  Oh, cheese curds.

• 55:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Cheese curds. I said that cheese curds were basically a mozzarella stick in a different form and people were living.

• 55:37Hannah Berner?

  Well, this is the thing, I, I can't support you in that because you haven't gotten the full experience of cheese curds. And the way they're made is like, cheese gets curdled and they like grab it at a certain point in the cheese curdling process. It's like really women in STEM stuff that like, you haven't, um, had the full experience yet.

• 55:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I need to give it another go. I need to, and I, and I'm open to learning more.

• 55:59Hannah Berner?

  But as an Italian, that was hilarious.

• 56:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, I thought so too. My thing with Chicago pizza.

• 56:03Hannah Berner?

  Deep dish.

• 56:04Paige DeSorbo?

  If I need a fork and knife, I gotta go, gotta go. Me pizza is an on the go meal.

• 56:11Hannah Berner?

  And also, if it's not foldable, it's cake.

• 56:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't ask for a dish with my pizza.

• 56:17Hannah Berner?

  It's pizza cake.

• 56:19Paige DeSorbo?

  And, and I'm allowed to have that opinion and, and other people are allowed to love Chicago deep dish. For, it's not for me particularly.

• 56:27Hannah Berner?

  One more thing about documentaries, someone did message me and it's, I think I do a pretty good job at this where like, I'll give people kind of the idea of the documentary. I won't give away any like big surprises or anything, or sometime, look, regardless, I talk a lot about documentaries. One girl was like.

• 56:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, I lo- I love when you do your documentary stuff because here's the thing, bitch, I'm not watching it. Why the fuck would I watch it when my other half has already watched it, dissected it? Put it in MLA format and is gonna give it to me. Give it all to me, bitch. I wanna know the ending.

• 57:01Hannah Berner?

  Goes, hey, when you say your documentaries, can you please not give away what happens? And I was like.

• 57:07Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, sorry, I have a really dumb friend on the other end of the line.

• 57:12Hannah Berner?

  No, but my thing is also like, if you didn't know that Ted Bundy killed all those women, like that's history. Like, I'm not giving away a made up story, like, just Google it, it's there. So like, I will try not to give the way of documentaries, but sometimes like, people just know, like JonBenet Ramsey wasn't found. Like, I'm not dro- I'm not dropping a bomb on people.

• 57:32Paige DeSorbo?

  You're not dropping it.

• 57:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 57:34Paige DeSorbo?

  That's how I feel about talking about Grey's Anatomy. It's history, it's her story, and I'm not living in your reality. Like, in my reality, I'm on season, I'm on season 13 and all the main best people already died. So, cut your frickin' losses.

• 57:51Hannah Berner?

  It's literally the red wedding in Game of Thrones. Is Craig watching Grey's Anatomy with you?

• 57:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, has zero interest in it and I'm, I love having a show that I know that there's 21 seasons that no one's bothering me about. I can skip whatever episodes I wanna skip. Sometimes there's a musical episode and you know what I say? Absolutely fucking not. Next episode, I don't care what even happened on that one. If you're singing about it, it obviously wasn't that traumatic or serious or a part of the plotline. So, see ya. Something about network TV doing a musical episode? What, did you guys run out of ideas? Are you on holiday? Like, get your shit together.

• 58:31Hannah Berner?

  How mad were you about Glee?

• 58:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Never watched it. Never watched a single second of it. Wanna know something crazy? Craig's favorite show in high. High school, I said, you have problems.

• 58:43Hannah Berner?

  Can Craig sing?

• 58:45Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what? He's actually not bad.

• 58:48Hannah Berner?

  I'm surprised he doesn't sing more.

• 58:49Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, does he sing?

• 58:50Hannah Berner?

  I'm surprised he doesn't have a cover band.

• 58:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, but now, now Hannah.

• 58:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Do not manifest insane debauchery in my personal life. Because that's, now you're directly coming for Craig. If something like that were to arise.

• 59:08Hannah Berner?

  Him and Austin.

• 59:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I would be in Europe with a new name.

• 59:11Hannah Berner?

  Him and Austin.

• 59:14Hannah Berner?

  Charleston Five.

• 59:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh Hannah, stop. It's not funny. It's not even funny to joke about.

• 59:23Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love how you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 59:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

• 59:29Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'm try, I was trying to think of a band with two men. I guess U2, Milli Vanilli.

• 59:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. I'll take your word for it.

• 59:39Hannah Berner?

  Dez can actually sing too. But he doesn't.

• 59:42Paige DeSorbo?

  But here's the thing, we can't, you can't tell them. Like, I've never commented on Craig's singing, so like, and if I did, you're opening a whole can of worms for me that I am not.

• 59:54Hannah Berner?

  Well, we've been dissecting the trauma and drama of men who like play guitar for girls when you're trying to go back to their place and they like. And our biggest thing is like, they wouldn't do that to their boys. If you wouldn't do that to your boy, don't do it to your girl. Cause we're vulnerable, we're scared, we don't know what's going on. We're in your territory. You've taken out a weapon. A guitar and we're forced to sit back. So it's like, you, you don't see these guys like hanging out with their friends at like 2am being like, hey, can I play this song that I thought of? They would never do that.

• 1:00:29Paige DeSorbo?

  If I were to bring a man back to my apartment.

• 1:00:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And push my interest onto him.

• 1:00:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You think he's gonna stand in my closet and try an outfit on that I've been waiting to picture on a human? But I just don't have enough energy to put it on myself. I'm like, hey, what are your sizes again?

• 1:00:50Hannah Berner?

  You bring him back and you put on more clothes. You're like, hold on one second, I'm gonna undress to have more clothes on. What do you think about this?

• 1:00:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, wait, I'm having a creative vision and I feel like this skirt actually warrants like a different top.

• 1:01:04Hannah Berner?

  We just want a quality, okay? You guys, thank you for giggling with us. I didn't shit myself once during this podcast, which is a miracle. I think we're on the up. We're going to Texas tomorrow. Do you have your Texas outfits planned yet? Are we wearing boots?

• 1:01:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, I am up on UPS tracking right now, waiting to see if any of my outfits fucking come in.

• 1:01:25Hannah Berner?

  I'm waiting to.

• 1:01:27Paige DeSorbo?

  If they all come in, I think there's only like one that I'm like iffy about, but we're gonna, we're gonna work through it and this is just, this is my job and I have to buckle down.

• 1:01:38Hannah Berner?

  We're gonna buckle down and we're so excited to see y'all in Texas. Also, I just announced some new Working It Out shows of new material where I try new jokes on people in Alabama, Irvine, California, and Timonium, Maryland. To Timonium, Timonium.

• 1:01:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's go.

• 1:01:57Hannah Berner?

  We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us. We hope we gave you an hour of light happiness. Gigglemafia, we love you. Someone tagged us in that, just calling us Gigglemafia and we can't stop calling ourselves that. And that's that.

• 1:02:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:13Hannah Berner?

  Bye.