Giggling about pregnancy tests, pinky swears, and pilates

Paige is causing panic in the hair industry and Hannah caused chaos at pilates. subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, so many people have my location.

• 0:08Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone, "I'm home."

• 0:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 0:17Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 0:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 0:34Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So, once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 0:46Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 0:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:04Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 1:11Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 1:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly, women deserve.

• 1:16Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 1:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.

• 1:22Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 1:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 1:34Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 1:34Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 1:37Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 1:49Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 1:51Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 1:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8th? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces and let's just say these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.

• 2:51Hannah Berner?

  This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where Cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle's priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with Cars.com. Where to next?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Sup, gigglers? Carrie, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  What's up my garden gnome gigglers? Would you ever have a garden gnome if you had a, an outdoor area?

• 3:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe if it was like this, in the shape of kitty?

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  Cute.

• 4:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Thoughts on like legitimately taxidermy?

• 4:05Hannah Berner?

  I'm out.

• 4:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like when butter passes, God forbid, in the year 2052.

• 4:11Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm putting her in a freezer and I'm Walt Disney-ing her so that when the technology works.

• 4:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Why isn't it more, like 3D printers? Why aren't people taxidermy-ing their pets more?

• 4:25Hannah Berner?

  Cause it's creepy.

• 4:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it though?

• 4:28Hannah Berner?

  Cause I would cry every day if I saw butter stuffed with cotton balls. You're so Nashville-coded right now. You're like, just taxidermy him. You're, you know what you are?

• 4:40Paige DeSorbo?

  That's the meanest thing you've literally-

• 4:41Hannah Berner?

  You're so stagecoach right now.

• 4:45Paige DeSorbo?

  That is the meanest thing you've ever said to me.

• 4:48Hannah Berner?

  It's a Monday and I'm coming so hard for your soul.

• 4:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You just said I was Nashville-coded, which you know is the number one place on earth that if someone said you have to move there, I'd cry.

• 4:59Hannah Berner?

  Number two.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  Okay, well, don't start trying to convince me to taxidermy things.

• 5:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Could you imagine how they'd hate me in Nashville?

• 5:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I have an announcement.

• 5:15Hannah Berner?

  I love announcements.

• 5:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just like really, since Khloe Kardashian, like, hair gate, I've just been like really into my products recently. And everybody knows Sunday nights is when I do my hair mask and I do all my things. But I actually did my hair mask on Friday, so like my days are a little off. Anyway.

• 5:39Hannah Berner?

  We have such different weekends.

• 5:41Paige DeSorbo?

  So last night I like showered, was doing all my stuff and like, blue-dried my hair and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna like throw a little wave in here. Like I'm gonna like do my hair a little so that tomorrow morning on Giggly Squad Zoom, I don't look a mess with my hair.

• 5:58Hannah Berner?

  Okay, you could've texted me, but continue.

• 5:59Paige DeSorbo?

  So I, Sunday is like when I look at all my stuff that I've like gotten delivered, like all the products that I've like never tried before and they're like all in a pile and I'm like, so there was this hair thing and it was called a Bondi Boost, like, heat curler.

• 6:15Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I've heard of them.

• 6:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, okay, let me just like give this a whirl.

• 6:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I was shocked, honey. Honestly, I hate that I'm about to say this. It's everything I've been wanting my, it's everything I've been thinking that my Dyson has been doing, but hasn't been doing. I don't know if I ordered it, then here's the other thing. Then I like try, try a product and I'm like, I can't remember if I ordered this.

• 6:42Hannah Berner?

  Or someone found your address.

• 6:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Someone found my address and sent it to me. Because I've been looking at this thing in a box for at least a month and a half and I'm like, I'm gonna try that.

• 6:53Hannah Berner?

  Point.

• 6:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I have no idea.

• 6:57Hannah Berner?

  She goes, everything's free in your head.

• 6:59Paige DeSorbo?

  If it's on my glass desk, it was free.

• 7:03Hannah Berner?

  It was free. Um, what does it do?

• 7:05Paige DeSorbo?

  It's basically just like a heated round brush, but I had blow, I blue dried my hair, so it was like kind of straight, but like kind of puffy and it just looked like I got a blowout, like my ends looked very blowout-ish. The way I want my Dyson to do it, but it just never does it. And I think because I have fine hair. Um, anyway, so.

• 7:30Hannah Berner?

  That was like, people lost their jobs just then. Like that was crazy. You're like Kylie Jenner tweeting that Snapchat's over. Like that's crazy.

• 7:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, also I texted my friend Alexa last night and I said, I'm finally ready for microneedling. And she said, perfect. I will find you someone this week. So.

• 7:49Hannah Berner?

  What made you think you were ready? Cause I'll do it with you. Cause I was scared. I wasn't gonna do it alone.

• 7:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I've just been looking up, like I'm always looking at different like things the girls are doing. And months and months ago, someone was like doing, made a TikTok and was like, I don't get botox. And she was like may, she was in her 40s and she looked phenomenal.

• 8:12Hannah Berner?

  Anti botox, um, algorithm now.

• 8:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And she, well, she said, she was like, I don't get botox, I don't get fillers. The only thing I do is I do microneedling, microneedling once a month. Which kind of seems like a lot.

• 8:26Hannah Berner?

  I always have stuff coming up that I have to like be in front of a camera for. I don't know how I ended up in this.

• 8:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Industry.

• 8:34Hannah Berner?

  But um, then I talked to someone yesterday and they were like, yeah, microneedling, you have to keep doing it. And it, it gets like more powerful as you keep doing it, which does sound like a pyramid scheme. However.

• 8:45Paige DeSorbo?

  But one that I would fall into.

• 8:47Hannah Berner?

  I'll do it with you, cause if we're both gonna look busted for like four days, that's more fun than me alone.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't even think that it's even that long of a turnover. Like, I truly think you get it done, you can't wear makeup like that night or that next day, but then you're fine.

• 9:05Hannah Berner?

  And then I had a dermatologist giggler in STEM message me and say, hey, if you have a really expensive product and you break out after, sometimes it means it's like your skin purging. And I'm like, again, it's giving pyramid scheme, like you guys are just keeping me going.

• 9:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, purging is something I've subscribed to.

• 9:24Hannah Berner?

  It's like you've been purging for three years now.

• 9:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, okay, but my chin keeps purging.

• 9:29Hannah Berner?

  And final thought, you know, when girls will be like, look how good my skin is, cause they just put like oil on it. And they're like, look how shiny. I'm like, yeah, cause you put oil on it.

• 9:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I, I'm actually having a really great skin day.

• 9:41Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say, you're very shimmery, what'd you put on it?

• 9:44Paige DeSorbo?

  A giggler really stressed me out the other day.

• 9:46Hannah Berner?

  Oh no.

• 9:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Because um, I said on the pod last week, I was like, Kitty's just been like really obsessed with me the past couple of days. I don't know like what's going on. And a giggler DM me and she was like, my cat did that a couple of months ago, like would not leave me alone. And she goes, turns out I was pregnant. Now, look, I've read a lot of DMs before about people telling me about myself. And I'm like, that person's nuts. Like, I'm not giving it a second thought. Let me tell you something, I Uber Eats a pregnancy test immediately.

• 10:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know what I was overcome with, but I, cause then I, then I go on my phone and I'm like, wait, I should have had my period. I was just with Taylor two days ago and she said, oh, I'm getting my period in two days. And typically, I'm like a week prior to her. So I go on my phone and I'm like, oh my God, I did miss my period. And then I look at Kitty and I'm like, were you gonna say anything?

• 10:52Hannah Berner?

  Kitty's like, I've given you every sign. I'm not hungry. I'm trying to say that you have something growing in you.

• 10:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I'm trying to tell you, we don't have the closet space.

• 11:01Hannah Berner?

  We don't have the room. Kitty's like, it's me or her. It's me or her. Pick us, pick one of us.

• 11:07Paige DeSorbo?

  The test was negative and then I literally woke up the next morning with my period.

• 11:12Hannah Berner?

  She summoned it. Well, good for the gigglers for keeping you on your toes.

• 11:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I was like, guys, I don't need being, can I have a day?

• 11:20Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, I'm reading Lena Dunham's book and there's like about four chapters.

• 11:26Paige DeSorbo?

  How long are you gonna be reading this for?

• 11:30Hannah Berner?

  Well, I took a little break and then Dez and I read at night. Like I was like, do you want to read your book? He was reading like Kafka or something and we, and I was reading Lena Dunham and I was like.

• 11:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, that is so freaking cute.

• 11:44Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's what my parents do. They read before bed.

• 11:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, what nerds. My parents would never.

• 11:50Hannah Berner?

  But we got competitive. I was like getting tired, but he was still reading and I was like, keep reading.

• 11:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's so you. That's so you.

• 11:57Hannah Berner?

  Well, at one point he was, cause I was like, I feel like it's too bright. And he's like, well, I have really small words on my book. And I was like, he's like, let me see your book. And he's like, they're small too. Yeah.

• 12:09Hannah Berner?

  I'm so competitive. I'm like, my words are littler than yours. But um, she talks for like four chapters about, she ends up getting her uterus taken out. Sorry.

• 12:19Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 12:19Hannah Berner?

  Spoiler alert. Cause she has.

• 12:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Why do we do this every morning? I can't just have a normal conversation with you before noon. It has to be like the most traumatizing thing I've ever heard in the past six months.

• 12:35Hannah Berner?

  And then she got her uterus removed. Have a great day. Good luck at school.

• 12:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Why did she have to have her uterus? So she had a full hysterectomy?

• 12:44Hannah Berner?

  She had, well, she had endometriosis. She had a lot going on. Then it was like another disease, whatever. But then it's also-

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, so she can't have children?

• 12:52Hannah Berner?

  Probably not herself anymore, but she talks about that whole like feeling and the doctors were really like anti, like we can't take out your uterus. It's so, it's like what makes a woman and she's like, yeah, but it's killing me. Like, why do you care more about my future child than my current existence as a woman?

• 13:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 13:11Hannah Berner?

  But um, she also talks about how mentally, at one point they're like, are you happy? And she's like, what are you talking about? And they're like, if you're really upset and sad and stressed, it just kind of makes things worse. So it's kinda-

• 13:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Like inside your body?

• 13:27Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but then it's also like, aren't you upset because you are in pain? And then it's kind of this back and forth. So she talks about, about pain a lot and it, but anyway, it got me thinking about how you have-

• 13:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Pain.

• 13:40Hannah Berner?

  Pain.

• 13:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Just all the time.

• 13:42Hannah Berner?

  Just all the time.

• 13:43Paige DeSorbo?

  No, actually my UTI has been pretty good. Like I've been, I've felt it coming on a couple of times and I've kind of told myself, no. It's not happening.

• 13:54Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so that's the answer. You actually have to just go, not today, Satan. You just have to look in the mirror?

• 13:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't have the time. I'm like, really? I don't have time to go to urgent care.

• 14:03Hannah Berner?

  Say Bloody Mary three times in the mirror.

• 14:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm almost at like six months, which is the longest I've ever gone since I'm 16 years old.

• 14:11Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's crazy. I bet you didn't, you didn't do anything besides decide you don't want it anymore?

• 14:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No. No.

• 14:17Hannah Berner?

  It goes like, are you fucking kidding? Oh, you know what it is? It's the, um, what is, what's the new hair wrap that you're using?

• 14:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Bondi Boost. No, I take one, um, oregano vitamin a day and two D manos cranberry supplements. But they're like, they're-

• 14:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Extra cranberry, like they're the classic one and then I've bumped it up a notch.

• 14:42Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, if you go to Paige's Kitchen, she has like

• 14:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I have eight million invited men.

• 14:48Hannah Berner?

  Of UTI meds.

• 14:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I need my stuff.

• 14:52Hannah Berner?

  My Dyson, they're fucking expensive. It's like half of your rent is a Dyson.

• 14:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Dyson's are really expensive.

• 15:00Hannah Berner?

  And because I'm in so many hotels and leaving everything, sometimes the cleaning people will come in and they like to put your hair stuff like straighteners or Dyson, they put it like away.

• 15:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:14Hannah Berner?

  Like they hide it. So obviously.

• 15:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh see, I love that.

• 15:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but then when I'm packing, I'm not like opening cabinets to search for things.

• 15:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 15:30Hannah Berner?

  Then I have to call the hotel, they have to ship it to me. I've had to ship this Dyson all over America.

• 15:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it's interesting, not interesting, but whatever. Because we go on my family vacation every year. One of like the biggest gripes of the family vacation is my mom's hair. And she gets stressed about her hair because she has very naturally curly hair. And so like when we're on vacation and none of like the stuff works because we're in a different country and she's always like stressed out about it. And I hate when she's stressed out about it. So I bought her a European Dyson. So now she can bring it on vacation with us.

• 16:11Hannah Berner?

  It goes voila.

• 16:15Paige DeSorbo?

  It says, okay, we'll do your hair now. Okay. Okay, I straightened it. Wait, oh my God, more things should just be in Italian accents.

• 16:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, why isn't there an Italian Siri? She's always British.

• 16:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No, why isn't there an Italian?

• 16:31Hannah Berner?

  Siri would be like, what the fuck are you doing?

• 16:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, no, no, I'm not looking that up. Illegal, no. Okay, yeah.

• 16:39Hannah Berner?

  Why don't you fuck yourself?

• 16:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, petition for there to be an Italian Siri that bullies you.

• 16:45Hannah Berner?

  She'd be like, I'm at lunch, do not ask me questions.

• 16:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. It's August, no working. Wait, imagine Siri just like stopped answering the whole month of August. Was like, see you in the fall, you stupid bitch. I don't know, look it up yourself. I would love that.

• 17:05Hannah Berner?

  Google it.

• 17:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what I keep seeing on like my for you page and and for the past couple of months is like everyone talking about bringing 2016 back like 2016 was so much fun, like people posting pictures, whatever. Well, I keep getting like the Beyonce Lemonade album, like, oh, my God, it was 10 years ago.

• 17:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know why I didn't think of it then, but like imagine coming home, just like imagine being Beyonce and just like walking in the front door like album's been out for like a couple of weeks, everyone's singing it and like Jay-Z just being like

• 17:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Joe, uh

• 17:52Paige DeSorbo?

  like, anything happen at work today? Like, do you get like, did they say, did they say to each other, like, did you see that email? Like, imagine your husband cheating on you and then you make the most fire album to ever exist about him cheating on you and all the songs start with you speaking and like dissing him? Like, how did they, how did they move on from that?

• 18:16Hannah Berner?

  Celebrity relationships are on such a different like mental wavelength than like a normal relationship. And she probably was like, hey, I sold the bazillion records and he was probably like, go off. I do have to say.

• 18:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, there's a line where she's like, imagine if you never had the coolest girl in your bed. And I'm like, that would crush me if I'm him.

• 18:41Hannah Berner?

  You know, there was definitely a fight or two, I would say, or three. Um, but at some point, they're a like empire and it's almost, maybe, this is all alleged. Maybe they got to the point where they were like, it's actually more complicated to try to break up than to fight with you every day. I'd rather fight with you every day than go through an insane divorce. I'd rather little microdose fights than like blowing up our entire empire we built together, I guess. Which is why.

• 19:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Surely they live separate lives.

• 19:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 19:12Paige DeSorbo?

  If I know that my husband has slept with another woman. Like, there's no, but there's nothing that's keeping, there's nothing keeping me there. There's nothing that I'm staying for.

• 19:25Hannah Berner?

  Maybe she also has her.

• 19:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Because she's rich on her own, so it's not like.

• 19:30Hannah Berner?

  But you know what? Maybe they have secrets about each other.

• 19:33Paige DeSorbo?

  But don't you want to be able to like live out loud?

• 19:37Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, their relationship is so, so mysterious and interesting.

• 19:44Paige DeSorbo?

  For how long they've both been famous, it's so mysterious.

• 19:48Hannah Berner?

  So mysterious. And you saying that she dropped the album about him. It does remind me at an extremely, extremely decimal percentage of my experience of me about to drop my Hulu special. Because the very end has like 15 minutes of jokes about Dez that he's never actually heard. And like, I've run it by him, like.

• 20:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. Yeah.

• 20:11Hannah Berner?

  I've run the premises by him.

• 20:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, how have you?

• 20:14Hannah Berner?

  Like, I wait till he's in like a silly mood and then we'll be in the car and I'll be like, hey, I'm working on a new bit about this. And he'll be like, yeah, it sounds good. And like, that's, so, so then if he does get annoyed, I'd be like, I asked you. And if people like the joke, like if it's funny, he's always okay with it. But like, I do go pretty hard on special.

• 20:36Hannah Berner?

  Like, I have one joke that's like-

• 20:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Can you give us like a taste? Like, yeah, I was just gonna say, is there one joke that you're like, waiting for his reaction?

• 20:46Hannah Berner?

  That I'm like, ooh.

• 20:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I kinda want you to tell us.

• 20:51Hannah Berner?

  It's the kind of joke that like, he'll either be like, "I love it," or be like,

• 20:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:58Hannah Berner?

  "I'm getting an attorney."

• 21:01Paige DeSorbo?

  What's the genre?

• 21:02Hannah Berner?

  It's about his, it's about his family.

• 21:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. Okay.

• 21:08Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 21:09Paige DeSorbo?

  They're all dead, so like, who are you really getting in trouble with, you know?

• 21:15Hannah Berner?

  But, um-

• 21:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Not many people.

• 21:16Hannah Berner?

  It's just like, the relationship brings so much relatability, and like, I'd never go into writing my specials to be like, "I wanna make fun of my husband," but there is an empowering thing of growing up, seeing all these other guys' specials, where they're just like, "My naggy wife, my bitch ass wife, and my annoying wife." So it's kind of fun to be a female comic and like, make fun of your husband, if it like, it's empowering.

• 21:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You know who I still think about is John Mulaney, because when I first, like, watched his stand-ups, a lot of his material was about his wife, and was about his wife, and actually about loving his wife. And I don't know why I think about him, like, leaving his wife and marrying Olivia Munn so much, but I do. I think about it at least once a month. I don't know why, like, obviously, I'm a John Mulaney fan, I think his stand-ups are funny, but I don't, but, and I don't even know what his wife's name is. Actually, I think she wrote a book. It's not like I was like, so obsessed with them, or like, that it keeps coming into my head, but I think about it all the time.

• 22:24Hannah Berner?

  I just got the vocal stem. "Am I a Nicki fan? Pull up in the Sri Lanka."

• 22:30Paige DeSorbo?

  What the hell is that? That's from like Housewives.

• 22:34Hannah Berner?

  That was Housewives like covid. Also, it's crazy how things don't hold up over time.

• 22:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 22:40Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of some random celebrity drama that I, don't you love when there's celebrity drama from like the 2000s that you just didn't know about and you're like, why do people not talk about it enough? Do you remember Mary Louise Parker?

• 22:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I have been in a hole of this.

• 22:56Hannah Berner?

  Did we see the same TikTok or something or Instagram post?

• 22:59Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so interesting. Before social media, the men were really getting away with even more.

• 23:05Hannah Berner?

  So, do you want to tell them what happened?

• 23:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you go.

• 23:08Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so Mary Louise Parker is with Billy Crudup, who's the guy?

• 23:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, if you don't know who she, she is.

• 23:15Hannah Berner?

  She starred in Weeds.

• 23:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she was the main actress in Weeds.

• 23:18Hannah Berner?

  Hilarious genius, also gorgeous. So, and Weeds was 2005 to 2012. So Billy Crudup, I don't know where he was in his career at this time. I didn't know him, but he's.

• 23:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I know him from, he's in like the first season of The Morning Show. He's like in random stuff.

• 23:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 23:38Paige DeSorbo?

  He's never like the main, main guy, but he's in, he's in a lot of big stuff.

• 23:44Hannah Berner?

  I don't hate short men. I hate short men who do bad.

• 23:50Hannah Berner?

  I hate little evil short men. If they're short and they're nice.

• 23:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I hate short men that do short things.

• 23:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, so immediately when a guy does something fucked up, first I check his height. It's the first thing I do. Five nine.

• 24:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's very telling.

• 24:04Hannah Berner?

  Five nine's not good enough. Not good enough, babe. Not good enough for, for this. So she's seven months pregnant.

• 24:13Hannah Berner?

  Billy Crudup, well, this is the problem with dating actors. He's, I think, in a show with Claire Danes. They fall in love because they're fucking making out every scene probably. This is with acting. It's just, I'm sorry, you're just like pretending to pretend to date. You guys are dating. Um, so men are doing full, what is it called when you're like?

• 24:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Method acting.

• 24:35Hannah Berner?

  Method. Taking method acting too seriously. By the way, apparently Adam Driver on Girls was doing method acting, but Lena Dunham didn't say it, but it hasn't been confirmed, but she just says how like they'd be practicing their lines and he'd throw a chair.

• 24:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:49Hannah Berner?

  And someone was like, he's method acting.

• 24:52Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, hmm, I feel like he's just mad and this is weird.

• 24:56Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna start doing that. If anyone gets mad at me, I'll be like, sorry, I'm method acting. They're like, for what?

• 25:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And male actors are very, you know what's funny is you grow up your whole life and maybe just because of when we were born and before social media, you grow up your whole life having this like preconceived notion about celebrity, specifically celebrity male actors. And then you become an adult and you realize that those men were some of the biggest losers in high school. And like, it's just, it's very interesting.

• 25:29Hannah Berner?

  But then you realize the athletes were also losers. So then you're like-

• 25:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Because they had a reading level of a pre-K student.

• 25:37Hannah Berner?

  Where have the good men gone?

• 25:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Because if you asked me in high school, like, oh my God, who's like the hottest?

• 25:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 25:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Who's your husband gonna be? I'd be like, a professional athlete or like a famous musician or like actor? I would kill myself.

• 25:50Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 25:51Paige DeSorbo?

  If I ever.

• 25:52Hannah Berner?

  Now the nerds are even diabolical. Now the nerds are more evil than everyone.

• 25:57Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't have a lid on the nerds.

• 26:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And we've lost the nerds. The nerds are out here cheating on other nerds.

• 26:05Hannah Berner?

  So Billy Crudup, Crudup. Ooh, now I'm hungry for a crudo.

• 26:13Hannah Berner?

  By the way, it's 10:30 a.m. on a Monday.

• 26:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say, a crudités.

• 26:16Hannah Berner?

  A crudités.

• 26:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm wearing crudités.

• 26:19Hannah Berner?

  Billy, also, you're 61, your name's not Billy.

• 26:26Hannah Berner?

  Your name is William.

• 26:29Hannah Berner?

  I'm not calling you, I'm not calling anyone Bobby or Billy past the age of 12. Grow the fuck up.

• 26:36Paige DeSorbo?

  That is so true.

• 26:38Hannah Berner?

  Billy?

• 26:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, your name's not Billy.

• 26:40Hannah Berner?

  Also, do you know who he's with now?

• 26:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Who?

• 26:42Hannah Berner?

  Naomi Watts. The man pulls.

• 26:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, something about Claire Danes scares me and I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's because every role that she plays, it's like this like really overstressed, like anxious character and that's like how I see her, but like something about her, I'm like, oh, I always have to take a deep breath, I feel like.

• 27:06Hannah Berner?

  But I also, the feminist side of me is like, I love her playing these like really imperfect characters, like Homeland was iconic, cause like she was so unlikable and like up until that time, there weren't a lot of female roles to be unlikable and star.

• 27:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she's just always so stressed and I'm like, I'm stressed.

• 27:25Hannah Berner?

  True, you're like, take a bath.

• 27:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:27Hannah Berner?

  Pick an up some salt bath.

• 27:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Do a hair mask. You're gonna love it. Okay, keep going.

• 27:35Hannah Berner?

  No, yeah, so that's what happened.

• 27:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay, so he's-

• 27:38Hannah Berner?

  He left her at seven months pregnant, which it's giving, it's giving, um, the wicked Ariana Grande drama.

• 27:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say, remember when everyone forgot about that? That is cra- that was crazy.

• 27:50Hannah Berner?

  And I think they're still together.

• 27:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Crazy work.

• 27:52Hannah Berner?

  I think she's still with SpongeBob.

• 27:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Are they? That's actually going pretty strong.

• 27:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I just feel like if you're, I mean, obviously, it's so nuanced, but like, I just feel like if you're going to leave your wife for someone else, like really physically get up and leave your pregnant or like with child wife, it's gotta be for the long haul and I don't think he dated Claire Danes for that long.

• 28:23Hannah Berner?

  I think it was like three years, cause also I think they actually did get a lot of public blowback that they like couldn't endure.

• 28:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean.

• 28:30Hannah Berner?

  I, I do have to say, I don't care how sturdy your relationship is, if you're constantly being attacked by the public, like it's gonna cause issues.

• 28:38Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent. It might bring you closer together for a minute, for a moment, because it's almost like a, a trauma bond.

• 28:46Hannah Berner?

  Us versus the world type thing.

• 28:48Paige DeSorbo?

  But once your cortisol level kind of goes down, it's like- It's very.

• 28:54Hannah Berner?

  I would argue, it obviously sucks, but if a guy leaves you while you're seven months pregnant, thank God, he showed you who he really is, which is that he doesn't fucking care about you. Cause all I know, based, if I'm seven months pregnant, I feel not myself, my hormones are insane. I need help, I'm exhausted, like, you're in a really vulnerable period of your life and if your man can't be there for you when you're holding and growing his child. I don't want you around later.

• 29:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 29:27Hannah Berner?

  Get out.

• 29:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, I'd go as far to say, like, not only does he not care about you, he doesn't care about, like, basic human.

• 29:35Hannah Berner?

  Decency?

• 29:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, just like, basic human rights?

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  World peace?

• 29:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, it's just, I could be, I could date someone for three minutes and if I found out they were pregnant, I'd be like, oh my God, let's do everything that you need.

• 29:56Hannah Berner?

  No, like, I can't imagine leaving Dez during his knee operation. He's helpless.

• 30:05Hannah Berner?

  Just leaving him on the couch?

• 30:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You know you didn't like her? Six months ago? Like, it seems like something that didn't, it wasn't just sprung on you that you don't, in fact, like your wife.

• 30:17Hannah Berner?

  Oh, God.

• 30:20Paige DeSorbo?

  If you told me an app could replace a personal trainer, I would have laughed. But honestly, Ladder is the closest thing I've found. You get a new plan every week from a real coach, it talks you through every rep, and Ladder is an expert in strength training plan, and it's not a content library. These aren't influencer workouts or challenges, it's real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. It works for any strength training style, like Pilates, bodybuilding at home, dumbbell only, hybrid strength, glute focus programs, kettlebells, and whether you train at home or in the gym, there's a plan for you. It costs less than one dollar a day, and that's elite level personal training for a fraction of what

• 31:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You'd pay in person. So, remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find out your perfect ladder plan. Use our link and get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work, outfit. Leading a meeting, outfit. Getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with alleys

• 31:47Paige DeSorbo?

  from Sam Edelman. They're ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer, and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season, it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new

• 32:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars Insulted Caramel and Affogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock, whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee or maybe I just need Just scroll for a little bit on the couch.

• 33:15Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Afogato Creme filling. So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afogato, wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables.

• 33:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations, so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com. Make yourself at home. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiatory connects you with real psychiatric care,

• 34:42Paige DeSorbo?

  so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works. Talkiatory is 100% online psychiatric practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and much more. Unlike therapy-only platforms, Talkiatory is psychiatry. You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. And because you continue with the same provider, you're not starting over each time. Your treatment can evolve with you and you can actually make progress over time.

• 35:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Head to talkiatory.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y dot com slash giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatory dot com slash giggly.

• 35:43Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, I did a traumatizing Pilates class. Can I tell you about it?

• 35:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I would love that.

• 35:47Hannah Berner?

  It was like, by the way, I love Pilates, but it was one of those classes, if you see me in a Pilates class, turn around.

• 35:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you love Pilates?

• 35:56Hannah Berner?

  I do. I love it with all my heart, but I also love complaining about it.

• 36:01Hannah Berner?

  If you see me in a Pilates class, you know some shit's gonna go down. Someone's gonna faint, some crazy shit's happening. So I walk in, and it's a new Pilates place, and my thing is when I go to Pilates, first thing I have to do, go to the bathroom, because I have like a phobia that I'm gonna have to like, poop during the class. God forbid, that would ruin everyone's experience.

• 36:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, wait.

• 36:19Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 36:21Hannah Berner?

  What? You scared me. You literally gave me-

• 36:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You said, "I gave you a fright?" I'm sorry.

• 36:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 36:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you know how I always, I forget things, so if I don't say it, you said, "pooping," and so it made me think of it. Have you heard of coconut cult?

• 36:37Hannah Berner?

  A cult?

• 36:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, get into it. Okay, saw this girl, I have heard of it for like a couple of months, but randomly saw this girl on my For You page, like, eating coconut cult, and I was like, "I'm gonna order one of those." Jar of basically like, such intent, it's not even yogurt, but they call it a yogurt, but you can't eat it in one sitting. You can only eat one spoonful of a day, of it a day, because it has such active probiotics in it. It's, the consistency is actually like a mousse. It's actually really hard to only eat one spoonful, you like, because it tastes good, you like wanna eat another one. I am obsessed. I've only had the strawberry flavor. I have

• 37:19Paige DeSorbo?

  one spoonful in the morning, and I have like a spoonful at like four in the afternoon. If you eat too much, it is diabolical, and it is one of the scariest things I've ever experienced in my life, but-

• 37:33Paige DeSorbo?

  If you like stick to a steady routine, you do feel like over time you feel less bloated. I've probably been having it for like a full two weeks now.

• 37:42Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 37:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed. I love it. You have to keep it in the refrigerator and you can't double dip your spoon.

• 37:48Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 37:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause it's like the probiotics are so active and if you've like already had it in your mouth and then, I don't know, that's like a weird science thing that that's a woman in stomach that I'm not equipped for.

• 37:59Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I'll definitely look into coconut cult. It's really cute branding.

• 38:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think it would really help your stomach.

• 38:05Hannah Berner?

  I have had a little sour stomach the last week. Yeah, but I didn't wanna, well, yeah, it's it's still on and off.

• 38:12Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what I'm always in fear of getting and I think it's because it's just like the grossest name. Have you ever heard of leaky gut?

• 38:21Hannah Berner?

  Why does that remind me of leafy greens?

• 38:23Paige DeSorbo?

  At any given point in the day, I'm scared that I have leaky gut.

• 38:28Hannah Berner?

  Oh no, it's a whole new thing for me to work. Well, I know I have leaky gut, actually. I've been having leaky gut. Um, okay, so I'm at my Pilates, going to the bathroom because I'm afraid I'm gonna have leaky gut. And I'm in like the locker room area, so I see a door. I'm like, this must be the bathroom. I open it up. It's not the bathroom. It's like a storage closet. Shut the door. Oopsie. Go into the other bathroom. And I'm in the bathroom and I realize like an alarm is going off, but it's like a subtle alarm. It's like just the light and being like, fire, fire, warn it. Yeah. And I'm like, and I'm like, did I do that? Like I assume that everything's my fault. I'm like, it's because I opened that weird door. So I-

• 39:04Paige DeSorbo?

  That's actually so funny that you go, you live your life throughout the day, being like, I messed something up.

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  No, I did that like, whenever there's an issue, I'm like, what did I do?

• 39:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's so stressful.

• 39:18Hannah Berner?

  Well, I think it's, I'm very powerful. Like when something good happens, I'm like, that was me.

• 39:23Hannah Berner?

  When something bad happens, I'm like, that was me. I just feel like I'm a catalyst anywhere I go. I'm like, let's change the molecules of this place. So I'm sitting there and like the alarm's like going off very subtly though. And it's basically like, fire, fire. And no one's acknowledging it.

• 39:39Paige DeSorbo?

  But like a chill fire.

• 39:40Hannah Berner?

  A chill, like it's chill. And I can't tell if this is just something that happens in the building, but the lady's not being like, hey, just ignore that. It happens. Instead, I'm like, am I the only one that sees this? And I'm the one that caused it? So anyway, that's how it started. And then I look to my left, there's a man there.

• 39:57Paige DeSorbo?

  In the bathroom?

• 39:58Hannah Berner?

  No, in the Pilates class. I looked to my left, there's a man sitting on the sink. No.

• 40:04Paige DeSorbo?

  He's like, hey, I'm a firefighter. There's a fire. Get out.

• 40:10Hannah Berner?

  No, but I'm literally like, if there's a man here, he better be like putting out this fire. He shouldn't be here for Pilates. But he's there for Pilates and of course he's doing the whole like. I didn't look at him. I actually didn't make eye contact with him, so I couldn't tell, but I, I feel like he was straight because she kept.

• 40:23Paige DeSorbo?

  You can tell without eye contact.

• 40:25Hannah Berner?

  I know. He was straight. She, she kept having to be like, oh, for this one, you can add more to him. And I'm like, shut the fuck up.

• 40:32Paige DeSorbo?

  By himself or with his girlfriend?

• 40:34Hannah Berner?

  By himself. It was like, he was like going through something. He was like in his 50s. It was like, he definitely like probably divorced. Trying to like start his life over.

• 40:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I don't like that even more actually.

• 40:46Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. So I was already like bad energy. The fire also is giving bad energy. So it was throwing me off. Then. Now look, when you sit in our reformer, never sit next to the person who's already there. That's just like a rule. Because we're all doing our leg stretches, like go to a different Pilates reformer. So this girl comes in and sits in between me and another girl when there's other reformers open. And I was like, that was a crazy move, but that's fine. Whatever. Let's be communal.

• 41:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's a crazy move.

• 41:19Hannah Berner?

  It was, there was like five other reformers open. Maybe she wanted to be like in our area. I don't know, but I was a little bit like, interesting decision. And then it's hot in there and she's wearing like a full suited up, long sleeve, everything. And I'm like, she's probably so hot. And then she's like filming herself. So I guess she was like vlogging or something. And I was like, I'm just gonna ignore this. She starts like taking calls during the class.

• 41:47Paige DeSorbo?

  You were gonna say she started interviewing.

• 43:52Hannah Berner?

  So I survived it to tell the tale.

• 43:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so against workout classes.

• 43:59Hannah Berner?

  See, I need them.

• 44:00Paige DeSorbo?

  If I can do it in my own home.

• 44:02Hannah Berner?

  When I do it alone.

• 44:04Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't trust that you're doing it right?

• 44:06Hannah Berner?

  No, I know I'm doing it right. I know that I don't trust myself to keep doing it. Like after three sit-ups, I'm like, we're good.

• 44:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so I'm the opposite. I will keep doing it, but I don't know if I'm doing it right. So it's like, is this, am I doing it for nothing because I'm doing it wrong?

• 44:24Hannah Berner?

  I needed peer pressure and I'll do anything if someone else is there. But when I'm alone, I cannot be held accountable.

• 44:34Paige DeSorbo?

  See, for me, I want to turn my TV on. I want to be listening to that. I don't want to really be listening to the girl teaching. I just want to watch her moves and I just want to keep doing them. And then I want to mind my own business.

• 44:45Hannah Berner?

  See, I'll be like, ow, that kind of hurts. I'm going to stop. But then if I'm in a class, I'm like, I'll, I'll break my leg right now for me to finish this if the girl next to me is finishing it.

• 44:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 44:56Hannah Berner?

  But that's my own.

• 44:57Paige DeSorbo?

  That's how we're different.

• 44:57Hannah Berner?

  That's how we're different. I have a woman in summer of the week.

• 45:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm so obsessed with women. I'm summer of the week now.

• 45:05Hannah Berner?

  See, we grow and learn.

• 45:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 45:08Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so you know how Paige introduced me to ice face baths? Like when we first started Summer House. Yes, like she's been doing it. Like Wake Up Hungover, she's like, watch this. And then she'd waterboard herself for like 20 seconds, like three seconds too long where I was like, should I check on her? And then you were ready to take on the day. Yeah. So have you heard of the snorkel that girls have added?

• 45:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I have seen it.

• 45:37Hannah Berner?

  Is it something people are selling online?

• 45:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's stupid.

• 45:40Hannah Berner?

  It's stupid. Okay, well, girls have invented a snorkel so that when you go under an ice water face bath for yourself, you add a snorkel so you could stay down like forever if you want.

• 45:52Paige DeSorbo?

  So dumb.

• 45:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Just like gimmicky and stupid, like stick your head in the bowl of ice. You don't need to breathe in there. You're not staying longer than 30 seconds. And if you can't hold your breath for 30 seconds, we have bigger issues. You need to go to the doctor because you're not getting full lung capacity. Something's wrong.

• 46:09Hannah Berner?

  It's giving when they invented that straw that you sip that doesn't purse your lips. So you don't like purse your lips too much to get

• 46:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I never saw that.

• 46:19Hannah Berner?

  Lip wrinkles. You've never seen it?

• 46:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I love that. Now that's something I can get behind.

• 46:26Hannah Berner?

  That's a Shark Tank product I want to see. Yeah. So you like, it's like, it's different. So I don't know. You could look it up.

• 46:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I'm obsessed with that.

• 46:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 46:35Paige DeSorbo?

  All day I try and think of things that like I can, literally since I'm like 16, I'm like, what's something I could invent? So that I never have to work again.

• 46:45Hannah Berner?

  I've thought of three billion. Do you remember my last invention idea to you was um cute, colorful smelling garbage bags?

• 46:56Hannah Berner?

  Full pitch deck, I pitched Paige. Full pitch deck. And you were like, I'm obsessed.

• 47:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I think they have these, but like I love your perseverance. I love how yours is different though.

• 47:09Hannah Berner?

  I was like, this is gonna be a wasabi color.

• 47:13Paige DeSorbo?

  People need to call more things wasabi color. And that is true.

• 47:17Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 47:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's true.

• 47:19Hannah Berner?

  And that's true. Wait, do you know who's having really bad PR right now? So you were never into this show, but I was an avid watcher of The Bachelorette.

• 47:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:30Hannah Berner?

  And there was a time when people were sacrificing six to eight hours of their week on these shows. And if you got on these shows and you, you got the good edit and you made it like at least five episodes, like you were made as an influencer. Like you'd have over 800,000 followers. You'd be going on the other excursions, Bachelorette Island, skiing, whatever.

• 47:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, the mountains.

• 47:55Hannah Berner?

  Like you were made. And then obviously they had drama um with the host and they lost the host. Um, he got canceled and then

• 48:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, right. I like forgot that time.

• 48:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 48:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Anything that happened during covid, I'm like, I actually don't remember.

• 48:14Hannah Berner?

  Well, people are saying we feel twenty seven, twenty eight, because that's when covid happened and that's when all of our lives stopped.

• 48:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Now that we're as many years out as we are from covid, it really did change our lives like. Like I think because we're millennials, we're like, oh yeah, like another crazy thing happened.

• 48:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 48:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Really don't think we're sitting.

• 48:37Paige DeSorbo?

  And and realizing how much it cha- like I keep saying, maybe this is because of reality TV too. I used to have so much fun in my life prior to covid. I had so much fun.

• 48:50Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I used to do this thing called fun.

• 48:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I have, I'm genuinely, I can't, and I don't mean fun, like day to day fun, like I have fun every day. I'm doing some, I I live with Kitty, something fun is happening.

• 49:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 49:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And I don't even mean in like work stuff, like, okay, we went to the Devil Wears Prada, so fun. I haven't had a night out of fun, like stupid fun that means nothing, debauchery, didn't plan this fun in years.

• 49:24Hannah Berner?

  Not to relate to Lena Dunham, but she said somewhere in an article that she hates organized fun.

• 49:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I hate it.

• 49:31Hannah Berner?

  And I've never, I was like, no one's put it into those words. I'm so bad at organized fun. Like whenever people are like, this is supposed to be fun, then I'm immediately in my head, I'm like, why am I so different from the rest of the world?

• 49:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Like.

• 49:41Hannah Berner?

  Why can't I experience things like other people?

• 49:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You're so dramatic.

• 49:45Hannah Berner?

  I'm so, I'm literally sitting there being like, why can't you for once just fucking be normal?

• 49:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You're so the girl, like looking out the window at like twelve years old.

• 49:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm always looking out the mirror. No, but no one is like me.

• 49:59Paige DeSorbo?

  That my first immediate thought is New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is a great example of like, everybody's having fun and we're all going here and we're gonna have fun. And every year I'm like, this is the worst and I'm going home.

• 50:13Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, well, New Year's, when I came back from Florida and was going to school at Beacon, Upper West Side, it was like the first time I was invited to like a cool Manhattan. And it was not cool, it was like me and like my seven friends, um, who were not doing hard drugs. Like, we were not the druggies, we were like kind of the athletes.

• 50:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Boring.

• 50:32Hannah Berner?

  Well, no one was telling me about the drugs. No one was telling me about the drugs, but like, we were like seventeen, and all I remember is playing beer pong, and yeah, getting so drunk that I like threw the ping pong and it like hit the wall. Like, I was like falling as I was throwing it, and I passed out and puked. And then my mom called the police because she was like, "The one time Hannah goes to a party." Because I was supposed to come home that night, I guess. And I passed out, and I didn't come home, my mom thought I died.

• 50:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You were a missing person. Your mom literally thought you were a missing person.

• 51:04Hannah Berner?

  Because my mom's in Brooklyn, being like my daughters, on the island of Manhattan, that's why I can't have fun. I ruined everyone's weekend.

• 51:12Paige DeSorbo?

  There was no, like, location sharing.

• 51:15Hannah Berner?

  No, she just was like, "She's dead in the, in the, in a dumpster somewhere."

• 51:19Paige DeSorbo?

  The way that we are probably gonna like live our mom's dreams, like, my mom would have given her left arm if, for them to have invented location sharing in the year 2006, like when I entered high school. Like, that would have been her dream.

• 51:37Hannah Berner?

  Gen Z's like, are jealous of us for certain nostalgic things, which is so valid. Like, I would be too if I didn't have to grow up with a phone. But the fact that we didn't have location sharing or ring cameras is iconic.

• 51:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, the way I'm going to torture my children, like, I, I, I'm literally gonna put an Apple AirTag in my child's shoe, like, in case they, they...

• 52:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, there's no situation that like they're moving and I'm not knowing exactly where they are in today's day and age. It's actually kind of sad, like, I'm gonna be so annoying as a mom, because I'm gonna be like, "Tell me everything." Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple.

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• 54:18Paige DeSorbo?

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• 55:03Paige DeSorbo?

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• 56:33Paige DeSorbo?

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• 56:58Hannah Berner?

  I was with a mom recently whose kid goes to school in the city, like teenager, and she was tracking the Uber and was annoyed with the route the Uber was going to get them somewhere. She was like, "Why would they take that bridge? Why would they take that bridge?" And I'm like, "The fact you know this." And she was texting him, "Tell him not to take the bridge." And I was like, "Guys, everyone calm down." Like, we didn't even have Ubers. How do we get places? Taxis? Subway?

• 57:23Paige DeSorbo?

  But you know what's so funny is that it's just like, not all men, we wouldn't have to be tracking everyone and knowing where our kids were at all times and tracking Ubers if the men weren't out here doing weird fucking shit. But not all of them. Just hundreds of millions of them. Yeah, oh yeah.

• 57:45Hannah Berner?

  So, Maura Higgins was recently interviewed being like, "Do you want to be The Bachelorette?" Because that was like, it's kind of the thing, like, if you got famous and you were single... Well, no, The Bachelor never really had famous people on it, but I guess they asked you, "Do you want to be The Bachelorette?" And she literally was like, "I tink, I'd rather not be. I don't want to be The Bachelorette." She's like, "I don't want a man. I want space to myself. Having a ton of men in my vicinity is literally my nightmare." Ciara also was like, "Fuck that. I would never want to be on The Bachelorette and deal with a bunch of thirsty dudes that want to be famous through me."

• 58:21Paige DeSorbo?

  She can do it, and she doesn't have to be on TV. It's giving Rihanna like 2008, "What are you looking for in a man?" And her being like, "I'm not looking for a man."

• 58:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but I think it's just so funny, there was a time where being The Bachelorette was like, the coolest thing. Like, you get to pick from all these guys who want to do, like, protein ads on their Instagram and start their own workout company.

• 58:48Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny, because I saw a TikTok the other day that was talking about how we'll always say... Since the beginning of time that like women are like gold diggers or they're looking to marry someone who has a lot of money or has a big job or like can provide for them and blah blah blah. But we never talk about how men can also marry extremely well. And it's never even brought up that like, oh wow, that guy really married well, like his whole existent and actually they were giving the example was Emma Gray.

• 59:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Because she's like getting a lot of criticism for like random stuff. She's on her book tour and people were like, I'm sick of her or she's speaking to like rich women. She's not speaking to you. Like there were just like all these different discourse things about her. And one of the things I saw was her hus- they were talking about her husband and it was like, yeah, he's a businessman, but his best investment ever was her. And that like he knew that she could take whatever he was doing and blow it up 10 times more. And I just think I feel like women never get you never get that like accolade of like, well, actually he married well and I changed his whole life.

• 1:00:14Hannah Berner?

  That's like Michelle Obama being

• 1:00:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, actually they were. He was another example, like Barack Obama actually married extremely well and the probably half the reason he got the presidency is because he had a phenomenal wife behind him.

• 1:00:30Hannah Berner?

  And I just want to add to this conversation too, that people's what makes a person is more than what they looks like, look like and how much money they make. There's something about like integrity and kindness

• 1:00:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Character.

• 1:00:43Hannah Berner?

  And drive and character and conversation that makes like a quality person. So just when you see numbers on a page or like someone with like a nice nose, like let's like stop for a second. It's because people do marry people without considering their character and that's why there's 50% of divorce.

• 1:01:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Every day. They're doing it every day. I had a friend text me, a guy friend of mine text me because he saw one of our clips. And one of the clips was me being like, if you're a thirty six year old man and you're trying to date like a twenty six year old girl, like what do you have in common? And I was like, I was like, the guy wants to go younger because anyone, a woman his age probably isn't putting up with as much shit as someone 26 because maybe they haven't experienced it or they don't know and they're just more apt to like put up with your bullshit. And he texted me and he was like, "This is so not accurate."

• 1:01:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And he was like the perfect person to text me and say that.

• 1:01:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, it was just interesting how like life really imitates art and no one in my real life ever like will text me like something that's said on Giggly Squad because I'm like, this is a safe space. It's like my personal journal. But that was an interesting text that I got.

• 1:02:04Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to Ria from Chicks in the Office. She did something really funny. I think like her husband was like annoyed with her for some reason or something happened and she was like, "This is what I always do to make him feel better." And she goes up to him with her hand and she goes, "Look how much bigger your hands are than mine to make him happy."

• 1:02:24Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, genius. Whenever he's like in his head or like upset about something, just stroke his ego and be like, "Look at my little hand and yours is so big and strong."

• 1:02:34Paige DeSorbo?

  That's actually really depressing because sometimes my hands are bigger.

• 1:02:37Hannah Berner?

  Well, actually, as I was saying it, I was like, "This isn't for all women."

• 1:02:43Paige DeSorbo?

  If you just heard Hannah say that, do not feel slighted. My fingers are so long. Typically, my fingers are always gonna be longer.

• 1:02:51Hannah Berner?

  I also can't do that with men with calves. Like, I can't be like, "Look how much bigger your calves are than mine, never mind." One person who does have as long fingers as you is Hailey Bieber. Like, you have similar Fanta fingers. Like, when she does her skincare, I'm like, "Oh."

• 1:03:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:07Hannah Berner?

  Her and Paige could have finger pinky, what's it called? Pinky, pinky swears, like crazy.

• 1:03:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Our pinky swears would go nuts. They'd wrap all the way around the city block.

• 1:03:18Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember how powerful a pinky square was back in the day?

• 1:03:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I still put a lot of onus on a pinky square, like if...

• 1:03:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I'll sign a deal with a pinky swear. I'm like, but you swear.

• 1:03:30Hannah Berner?

  No, there's something about pinky swear where you're like, I, that was my firstborn. I just gave away.

• 1:03:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because it's, it's very, um, I think because it comes from childhood, it's like you mean it. Like you're, you wouldn't fuck with a little kid. So like you're being serious, right?

• 1:03:45Hannah Berner?

  Like, that's your inner child.

• 1:03:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's like you wouldn't lie to my inner child.

• 1:03:51Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to a really good press tour of a movie star. Like, you know, there's like stars and then they're like, oh, that's a movie star.

• 1:04:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:01Hannah Berner?

  Like, this is a celebrity. Like, this is like, I'm like a gasp every time I see her. Charlize Theron.

• 1:04:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 1:04:11Hannah Berner?

  And I think I added a little, a little chutzpah to the last, to the end of her name. But first of all, if your name is Charlize Theron, you can't not be a movie star.

• 1:04:23Paige DeSorbo?

  What the fuck?

• 1:04:26Hannah Berner?

  I'm saying like thorough. Charlize Theron. Is that it? Charlize Theron?

• 1:04:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just looking something up about her. Keep talking.

• 1:04:33Hannah Berner?

  She's a movie star. Her looks have been so cool. Like, it's the kind of thing that like, yeah, other people could try to copy, but it's not gonna hit.

• 1:04:42Paige DeSorbo?

  When she stepped out in that like men's suit with the, I think it was YSL. But it was like men's, like she put that thing around her neck. Oh.

• 1:04:51Hannah Berner?

  She is so gorgeous and people don't, I mean, people do talk about her, but like, it was kind of game over when she walked. I was like, oh, and that's, that's a celebrity. Like, bring back celebrities.

• 1:05:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you know that her mom killed her dad in self-defense, like during a domestic violence situation?

• 1:05:09Hannah Berner?

  And that's where all our conversations go.

• 1:05:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm pretty sure she, I'd have to look up the story, but I heard this, I like.

• 1:05:17Hannah Berner?

  It was apartheid in South Africa. It was crazy violence. And yeah, the mom defending herself shot her dad and her mom's still alive.

• 1:05:26Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think she like watched it. I think like Charlize was like in the room. She was like 13 or something.

• 1:05:32Hannah Berner?

  I mean, I cannot imagine. But that's why one of her like Oscar speeches, she broke down thanking her mom who was there for like everything she did to protect her.

• 1:05:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I love her.

• 1:05:43Hannah Berner?

  So anyway, Charlize Theron, you're that girl. We love you. I think she has a movie out.

• 1:05:49Paige DeSorbo?

  She does on Netflix, but like a thriller. You know how I feel about thrillers.

• 1:05:53Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm scared. I'm scared.

• 1:05:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Just like enough.

• 1:05:55Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, you guys, to end on that note, thank you for giggling. We love you so much. Anything else, Paige?

• 1:06:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel good.

• 1:06:03Hannah Berner?

  Perfect, perfect. Have an amazing week. Keep your head up. Bye.

• 1:06:14Hannah Berner?

  Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 1:06:18Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.