Giggling about nicknames, quadzilla, and the zeitgeist

Paige has a revelation and Hannah reveals her childhood nicknames. pre-order our book here sign up for our newsletter get tickets to hannah's shows

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling and it's one of the best feelings ever. From engraveable pieces to festive charms to lab-grown diamonds, Pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who really inspire you and the ones that you really know. Give them a piece that says exactly what words can't. Pandora, more than a gift. Shop new styles in-store or online at pandora.net. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  You know I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery.

• 1:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Just to let you guys know, cold weather is back, but there's no need to dread this year thanks to Bombas. Their socks, slippers, and footwear help keep you warm all winter long. Plus, everything they make is great for gifting, making holiday shopping one less thing to stress about. I just ordered a bunch of new Bombas because my socks just like get up and walk away. So I'm constantly ordering socks. It's like one of my things. And for every item purchased, Bombas donates one to someone facing housing insecurity with over 200 million items donated and counting. I personally love their cozy socks because for me cozy sock season is all year round. I don't discriminate just in the winter. So head over to bombas.com/gigglysquad and use code GIGGLYSQUAD for 20% off your first purchase.

• 2:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup gigglers.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Gary, fix the wifi.

• 2:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Manifest that shit.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  We can't be managed.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:24Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my growly gigglers?

• 2:28Hannah Berner?

  Look, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get creative here.

• 2:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you blow your hair out today?

• 2:32Hannah Berner?

  I did do a little Dyson.

• 2:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, looks nice.

• 2:35Hannah Berner?

  Thank you, and I am wearing glasses today.

• 2:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you look really pretty today.

• 2:39Hannah Berner?

  They're fake glasses. Oh my god, thank you.

• 2:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, what are these white kitten heel pumps on your?

• 2:45Hannah Berner?

  Vintage Prada.

• 2:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I saw, I saw them from my peripheral.

• 2:49Hannah Berner?

  There's so much crap in this room, and Paige somehow saw the tiny kitten heel of the...

• 2:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Is that a vintage shoe?

• 2:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I think there's a vintage heel here. What is it?

• 3:02Hannah Berner?

  That is so, it's literally under a pile of garbage, and she's like, "Cute." Wait, cute?

• 3:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 3:09Hannah Berner?

  We were just...

• 3:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I miss you so much.

• 3:11Hannah Berner?

  Wait, no, I miss you so much. We've been praying for a weekend free, and then the whole time I just like, watched TV and missed Paige.

• 3:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally Netflix was like,

• 3:23Paige DeSorbo?

  "You've caught us, like, we're out of shit for you."

• 3:25Hannah Berner?

  I watched everything that's ever been made this weekend.

• 3:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:29Hannah Berner?

  I finished it.

• 3:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you ever like, binging, like, you're doing a full Raw day, like, you've been there for eight hours, and you're like, "Oh, I have nothing else to watch."

• 3:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 3:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you ever feel like, "I can't watch old stuff"? Like, if it's not new, I'm like, mm... Like, like, I'll be hanging out with someone, and they'll be like, "Let's like, throw on, what's your favorite movie?", and I'm like, "Unless it's new, I'm not watching it."

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, because I have an older man, every now and then, I like to experience his culture.

• 3:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:57Hannah Berner?

  And I say, "What's a movie that, like, you loved from back in the day that I've never seen?", and that's a fun experience for us. Because also, you know how we just like, know actresses, but we never know their like, breakout role?

• 4:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:09Hannah Berner?

  From like, the 90s or the 2000s?

• 4:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:11Hannah Berner?

  I watched Mulholland Drive last night. Have you ever, have you, has it crossed your desk?

• 4:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I've heard of it. I couldn't give you one fact about it.

• 4:21Hannah Berner?

  It's in the zeitgeist, so it's Naomi Watts breakout role.

• 4:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You just wanted to say zeitgeist because you're wearing glasses.

• 4:26Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 4:27Paige DeSorbo?

  What is...

• 4:28Hannah Berner?

  Neither of us can spell zeitgeist.

• 4:29Paige DeSorbo?

  What is a zeitgeist?

• 4:31Hannah Berner?

  I feel like it's like, something that's really relevant. Like culturally relevant. Yes, yes, like zeitgeist.

• 4:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 4:40Paige DeSorbo?

  We are the zeitgeist.

• 4:41Hannah Berner?

  We are zeitgeist, T. That's our, we giggling is zeitgeist. We just start using it appropriately. Um, this movie, if, oh my god, you should watch it.

• 4:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I like can't get comfortable. I'm like squirming like a little.

• 4:54Hannah Berner?

  I was dying laughing because the last episode, you, whenever I would talk, you were having a coughing attack. And then you also lost something at one point and you were just, whenever I would talk, you were looking for it. And at one point I was like, what are you looking for?

• 5:08Paige DeSorbo?

  That was on Zoom.

• 5:09Hannah Berner?

  That was on Zoom.

• 5:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, nothing to see over here.

• 5:13Hannah Berner?

  So Mulholland Drive, it's got famous for this like sex lesbian scene.

• 5:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 5:19Hannah Berner?

  With Naomi Watts and the other actress who I forgot.

• 5:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 5:22Hannah Berner?

  But it's like hot.

• 5:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Damn, a rough day to be that other actress.

• 5:27Hannah Berner?

  I'm so sorry.

• 5:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine it's like your breakout role and you just hear some Gen Z girl go, sorry, I forgot her name.

• 5:35Hannah Berner?

  You know what? Out of respect, Chris, because I know you're regularly Googling the lesbian scene, you creep. Can you? He's playing it right now. What's the name of the other actress?

• 5:46Speaker 04

  Sorry, what was the movie?

• 5:47Hannah Berner?

  Chris, put your boner away. What was the, can you do your job for a second?

• 5:52Hannah Berner?

  What's the name of the actress?

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Movie name again, one more time?

• 5:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Mulholland.

• 5:56Hannah Berner?

  Mulholland Drive. No, we can't spell Mulholland.

• 5:59Speaker 04

  Oh, really tough.

• 6:00Hannah Berner?

  So the, I love movies that trick me. Like, I want to be tricked. I love a twist.

• 6:06Paige DeSorbo?

  We were like, I really wasn't expecting that.

• 6:08Hannah Berner?

  This movie is such an amazing trick that you will watch the whole movie and it finishes and you're still like, that might have been the worst movie I ever watched. And then you Google it and you go, I was completely tricked. That was the best movie I've ever watched.

• 6:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry for my.

• 6:28Hannah Berner?

  And I was sober.

• 6:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry for my long pause. I'm trying to think of, think of like, how to even word this. So unless you Google it afterward to find out the actual meaning, you're gonna think it's the worst movie ever?

• 6:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 6:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 6:41Hannah Berner?

  And some would argue maybe that's a bad movie if you don't get it, but like, no one gets it. But then once you real, it's very artistic.

• 6:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Is the ending kind of like a Sopranos ending where people were pissed?

• 6:53Hannah Berner?

  No, the ending's incredible, but the ending makes you realize, oh, what I was thinking the whole time wasn't true and now I have to re. Think everything I thought about this movie.

• 7:03Paige DeSorbo?

  That's just how I wake up in the morning. Just like, oh, everything I thought was actually a lie.

• 7:12Paige DeSorbo?

  So let me, let me rework it.

• 7:14Hannah Berner?

  We found out bananas are actually berries on the burner phone pod this week. I think you guys should listen. It was a very fun. Yeah. So that's my world's been crushed. I have to rethink everything. Do we have the name of the actress yet?

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, the stars of Naomi Watts and Laura Haring.

• 7:31Hannah Berner?

  Shout out Laura.

• 7:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Laura, we hope you're doing well.

• 7:34Hannah Berner?

  She crushed it. Um, what did you?

• 7:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Shout out to my least favorite ex boyfriend. Usually we shout out my favorite one, but my least favorite one. He actually, like in my mid twenties, showed me so many movie, like classic movies that I had never seen. That like, I do feel better than people. When I'm like, oh my God, you haven't seen that. It's a classic.

• 7:55Hannah Berner?

  See, I've never seen a movie before.

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  Like everything does says, I'm like, no, but he's, oh, you're fucking kidding me. And then we sit down and it's fun.

• 8:04Paige DeSorbo?

  This guy had a zeitgeist, if you will, of just like classic movies. So he really like upped my movie game.

• 8:11Hannah Berner?

  I do have an uncle who's like obsessed with James Bond. So I've seen like a lot of the James Bond movies, but I wouldn't say that really brings any value to the community.

• 8:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, speaking of like actresses, did you see Scarlett Johansson this past week say like, why she doesn't take pictures with fans?

• 8:29Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah. She was like, I'm not working.

• 8:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she said, she gave a very Gwyneth Paltrow answer. Like, I feel like people aren't like laughing at it as much as like it should be laughed at. Like when Gwyneth Paltrow said like consciously uncoupling, like she said that she doesn't take pictures with fans like out in the wild because wait, let me get the exact quote. Because it's so good.

• 8:52Hannah Berner?

  Since we are accomplished journalists, we're going to get the quote right.

• 8:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. So she said, she said she doesn't take pictures with fans because she doesn't want to be identified in this time or place with that person.

• 9:05Hannah Berner?

  That's so funny, but part of me is like, okay, spy, like, who are you?

• 9:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Part of me is like, what a crazy way to think of it. Like, that's such a like, alien way to think of like, yeah, I don't want to be involved in this time or place with you.

• 9:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 9:20Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, like, I get what she's saying where she's like, I wanna, I wanna be, like, I wanna like, live my life and not.

• 9:29Hannah Berner?

  People don't know where I am all the time.

• 9:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, not know like where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm with. Like, I get that.

• 9:35Hannah Berner?

  But then some celebs live their lives where they want everyone to know at all times what they're doing, who they're with.

• 9:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, for me, I wouldn't have the balls to say that to anyone, let alone, like, I would assume that her fanbase is, well, actually, she's been in a, like, so many.

• 9:55Hannah Berner?

  Well, she's been like Marvel movies.

• 9:56Paige DeSorbo?

  She probably does have a lot of men fanbase.

• 9:59Hannah Berner?

  Marvel movies ruined it for her, probably.

• 10:01Paige DeSorbo?

  A girl coming up to me, imagine just being like, I don't want to be identified in this time or place with you.

• 10:06Hannah Berner?

  A girl will come up to me at the airport, take a photo, and I look at her and I say, I'm so sorry for that photo. Like, sometimes I really, I can see them disappointed how bad I look in the photo. They're like, I can't use this fucking photo, Hannah.

• 10:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Absolutely.

• 10:18Hannah Berner?

  I do have.

• 10:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, a giggler could come up and be like, I need a kidney. And I'd be like, point to the New York's hospital, where are we going?

• 10:24Hannah Berner?

  If you think about it, like, you don't see that many selfies with, like, Kardashians.

• 10:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Celebrities.

• 10:29Hannah Berner?

  You don't see, you don't see.

• 10:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Where are all the selfies?

• 10:34Hannah Berner?

  When was the last time you saw Kim Kardashian do a selfie with someone? I think it's just they're like so protected. And maybe if, maybe on like, press days they do, but like, wherever they travel, they don't have to see anyone.

• 10:46Paige DeSorbo?

  If I walked into a coffee shop in New York City right now and I saw Jennifer Lawrence standing there. The last thing I'm doing is asking her for a selfie. Because I respect her.

• 10:57Hannah Berner?

  Well, there are just some types of people who don't think like, oh, this is a human person who may, if everyone asked her to get a selfie every time they wanted, that she couldn't live her life. But some people see a celeb and think they're the first person to ever see that celeb.

• 11:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 11:12Hannah Berner?

  And are like, oh, my god!

• 11:14Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, on the other hand. Does it really hurt to just turn your head and be like, and smile? No, you know?

• 11:21Hannah Berner?

  Uh, I don't, it's, I guess, some people pick their boundaries differently. I do have to think like, when you're a certain level of celeb, if you start with one photo, then it becomes a full meet and greet at the coffee shop, you know? Cause then people are like, oh, you took a photo with them, why not me? And next you know, you're like, how do you get out, kind of thing?

• 11:40Hannah Berner?

  And then it got me thinking about celebrity. Sorry, I watch a lot of celebrity documentaries. Niall Horan.

• 11:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:48Hannah Berner?

  Did you hear when he was on One Direction? That he had a point where he got so big, he couldn't go anywhere? But looking back at it, he's like, I also dealt with some paranoia that I thought that I would get swarmed anywhere I went. And he's like, looking back, I might have not been swarmed, but I was so scared of the possibility of getting swarmed that I like, I started like hearing things and like, I couldn't, I couldn't leave my house.

• 12:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop.

• 12:14Hannah Berner?

  And that's what happened to Justin Bieber.

• 12:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No way.

• 12:17Hannah Berner?

  Well, I just added that at the end. I don't know if that's true, but fame definitely hasn't helped.

• 12:22Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no.

• 12:24Hannah Berner?

  And go full circle, Mulholland Drive is about Los Angeles and fame.

• 12:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a TikTok and the girl was like, she was quoting something and she was like, the stand, why has the standard for a wife stayed the same? Yet the standard for a husband has gone down? And she was like, think about it, years ago, like, she was like, my grandpa built my grandmother's house. Like, okay, she stayed in it and like made the house a home and like fed the kids and stuff. But he physically built the fucking house? Now, like, any man, he's like, cool, I'll call a taskrabbit. But women, we have to also like, do all the home stuff, but then also do like the work stuff.

• 13:10Hannah Berner?

  And I would argue, I want a man who is capable of being a present father.

• 13:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:17Hannah Berner?

  And by that, I mean like, bring the baby to my nipple. I don't wanna get up. Like someone who's waking up, or someone who's very involved in the parenting.

• 13:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I almost would rather, I mean, not that I should have to pick, but like, I want a man who's more involved in like the cooking and the cleaning. Really, I just want a housekeeper.

• 13:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I just realized I want an assistant.

• 13:41Hannah Berner?

  Some of these girls who have done it right, they marry chefs. The one thing though is chefs are like, a lot of the time, crazy people.

• 13:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:48Hannah Berner?

  Cause their job is just like, being in hot places yelling at people, snorting cocaine, tattoos, like chefs are crazy. And then sometimes they go home and they're like, I'm not gonna cook you a meal. It's like me coming home and having to do a stand-up set for Des. I'm like, you have to pay money for that. Like, I don't do it for free.

• 14:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches.

• 14:07Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, I've dated guys in the past who have cooked and it's been so hot and so fun.

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never like dated a man that like.

• 14:16Hannah Berner?

  The energy they put into barbecuing, put it into everything.

• 14:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:19Hannah Berner?

  Put it into sandwiches, put it into pasta, put it into steak. Get them like really into making steak. You have to trick them to be like, oh my god, I love that salmon you made.

• 14:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:29Hannah Berner?

  And then they like get passionate about it and then it gets part of their ego and then they're like obsessed with it.

• 14:33Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what it is. Make it a part of their ego.

• 14:35Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Chris is smiling. Right? And the second you make it and I go, oh my, wait.

• 14:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Baby, I love your barbecue chicken. It's so good.

• 14:44Hannah Berner?

  My ex used to make it.

• 14:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Disgusting.

• 14:46Hannah Berner?

  Disgusting. And honestly, he had a weak wrist. He couldn't even like lift it to me.

• 14:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it's so funny. I do that to my brother all the time. My brother is a phenomenal chef.

• 14:55Hannah Berner?

  I love that for him.

• 14:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'll DM him.

• 14:56Hannah Berner?

  You know, my brother is too.

• 14:57Paige DeSorbo?

  It's kind of crazy.

• 14:58Hannah Berner?

  And we don't cook.

• 14:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll send him things and I'll, and I'll, and I think he's catching on, but he's actually not. Like, I'll actively be like, I wish you could make this, but like, it's probably way too hard for you. And I always think like, he knows I'm fucking with him, but he doesn't. And he'll be like, oh, so you think I can't make that? Like, are you kidding? You're so stupid. I actually can make it. When are you coming home next? Cause I'll make it. And I'll be like, in two weeks. And he will have made it. And I'm like, you stupid fuck. Like, you're so stupid. But I do it every time to him.

• 15:29Hannah Berner?

  I once, for my brother's birthday, bought him like a steak thing, like all these steaks.

• 15:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:34Hannah Berner?

  And he gets really into like, oh, like, how high quality are these steaks? And then I'll, I keep buying him like things to make steaks with. And like, they love tchotchkes. Like, if you get him a new knife. Be like, you can, you can cut a pork chop with that knife.

• 15:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:48Hannah Berner?

  That you can make.

• 15:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:49Hannah Berner?

  Make him feel like hunters, you know?

• 15:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I'm like, we're so much smarter.

• 15:56Hannah Berner?

  And the joke of like, men used to go to war is so funny to me, just to wrap this up, because my final thought is like, men literally used to go to war, like, they would like.

• 16:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it even a final thought if you don't adjust your glasses, you know?

• 16:10Hannah Berner?

  Also, this whole time, this whole time I can't see. I've been fighting for my life with these fake glasses, because I like the aesthetic, but like, I feel blind, I can't hear, I can't talk, I feel, I have nothing left. Men used to go to war, men used to like, have their arm blown off and still run and like, do what they had to do. Nowadays, a man's going down on you and sees you're spotting slightly on your period, and he's like, I can't do it.

• 16:35Hannah Berner?

  Men used to go to war, and you can't go down on me when I'm on my period, grow up.

• 16:40Hannah Berner?

  Is that, is?

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's a great final thought.

• 16:42Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm so scared to ask you this, because like, you're gonna break my heart.

• 16:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, I'm so excited.

• 16:49Hannah Berner?

  You're going to literally rip my heart apart, oh my god, yes.

• 16:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Go do it, ask.

• 16:54Hannah Berner?

  I told you to watch Detroiters, what did you think?

• 16:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I watched a couple of episodes of it, second season's better than first.

• 17:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like stupid humor, so it's, it's not like, fully where I'm like, you have to watch this show, it's so funny. But there are so many bits in it that I'm like, that's fucking hilarious, and it gives like a you and I.

• 17:22Hannah Berner?

  I'm Tim and you're Sam.

• 17:25Hannah Berner?

  I basically was like, this is so weird, but in another universe, this is me and you.

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just such a like, funny, it, it's just like a stupid show.

• 17:36Hannah Berner?

  If you wanna watch like, the goofiest show ever, like, I haven't.

• 17:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's great to fall, I've also been falling asleep to it.

• 17:42Hannah Berner?

  I fall asleep to the Meghan Markle show, but to each her own.

• 17:44Paige DeSorbo?

  To each their own.

• 17:45Hannah Berner?

  Side note, the Meghan Markle show, I started watching, who is make, Jackie Schimmel? Did a whole thing of her watching it in her comments, and she made a comment where she was like, I've never seen someone. Like be with her friends, but act like she just met her friends. Like the lack of chemistry she has with like her uncle in it. And I kind of loved it.

• 18:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that.

• 18:08Hannah Berner?

  I I feel like Meghan, we forget she always wanted to be an entertainer. And now she's just like, this is it's.

• 18:15Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's funny. She's an actress.

• 18:16Hannah Berner?

  It's very Martha Stewart, except she doesn't start off with being like, I particularly have a skill for this. She just kind of was like fuck around and find out.

• 18:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I'm getting my kids ready for school and also making beautiful parfaits.

• 18:30Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 18:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, and this is what I do.

• 18:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it seems like while the world is burning, you can have a beehive.

• 18:37Paige DeSorbo?

  My my only gripe with Meghan, and it's not really even a gripe. It's I can't stand when she calls Harry H. Because I just feel like that, okay.

• 18:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm I'm not like.

• 18:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God, it was not exciting. I'll be here for the rest of the hour.

• 19:01Hannah Berner?

  I'm here till Wednesday.

• 19:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Because here's the the thing that annoys me, and it's the logistics of it.

• 19:06Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 19:07Paige DeSorbo?

  A nickname is supposed to be easier to say than the actual person's name. The name Harry.

• 19:15Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 19:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Is like quite literally, I feel like one of the easiest names.

• 19:18Hannah Berner?

  Rolls off the tongue.

• 19:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Rolls off the tongue. To say H, I feel like is harder on your mouth.

• 19:26Hannah Berner?

  Can you call me H from now on?

• 19:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And then in change, does not make it like an easier nickname.

• 19:33Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I had a friend who I love, but she did the most annoying thing where whenever she'd start dating a guy.

• 19:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Your name starts with H. Why would I call you that?

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  You go, wait, Hannah starts with an H? I had this friend who whenever she would start dating a guy, like they'd be a weekend.

• 19:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:51Hannah Berner?

  And she'd be like, me and Jay. And his name was like Jason. She'd be like Jay and I. And then she'd meet another guy named like Patrick. She'd be like me and P. And I was like, this is, I feel like you're overcompensating because you you guys actually haven't. Talked about any, yeah, you've never spoken to each other?

• 20:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just thinking like, have I ever been close to any boyfriend ever? I've never called them like a nickname ever.

• 20:13Hannah Berner?

  I, I would say like-

• 20:14Paige DeSorbo?

  From their own name.

• 20:15Hannah Berner?

  I once started dating a guy and I would say like babe, and he was like, don't ever call me that. And I was like, okay, unpack that in therapy. Like, I'm just-

• 20:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what? I've said some other choice words, you fucking asshole.

• 20:29Paige DeSorbo?

  How about that for a nickname, babe?

• 20:31Hannah Berner?

  What's your go-to when you were in a relationship and had someone who loved you?

• 20:38Paige DeSorbo?

  When I had, when I felt any, when I felt a warm touch at night?

• 20:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Uh, and not, not, nothing based off their own name.

• 20:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it would be generic, like-

• 20:48Paige DeSorbo?

  It would be something that happened or like something like, I don't know.

• 20:50Hannah Berner?

  I like calling them like what a pimp would call his girls, like-

• 20:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:54Hannah Berner?

  It could be, in case I forget your name, babe, honey buns.

• 20:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, yeah.

• 21:00Hannah Berner?

  I like to say what's cooking, good looking.

• 21:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I like, I actually like my name being used.

• 21:06Hannah Berner?

  Ooh.

• 21:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I like being called Paige.

• 21:08Hannah Berner?

  Say every fucking syllable of my name, including the silent H at the end.

• 21:15Hannah Berner?

  When Dez is my name fully, I'm like, okay, stop flirting. You're literally obsessed with me.

• 21:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 21:20Hannah Berner?

  No, like, literally just-

• 21:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Something really like where you're trying to like make love, like, why don't you chill the fuck out?

• 21:26Hannah Berner?

  Okay, when you made that comment during that, that was so intense. Well, yeah, then Dez will say Han sometimes.

• 21:32Paige DeSorbo?

  But we actually are similar. We have names that like you can't shorten.

• 21:37Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 21:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, there is no nickname for our names.

• 21:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 21:41Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's like, but here's the thing, my name, and I've said this for years and no one has ever like agreed-

• 21:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Or like, or been like, I see where you're coming from. If you say my name fast, Paige, it can also sound like if you say the word bitch fast, it sounds like Paige. Because I've been in so many situations where I'm like, did you just call me a bitch? And they're like, I said Paige. And I'm like, I don't think you did. I don't think you did.

• 22:16Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, if they want to Frankenbite it, it's, it's sound, it looks the same off the lip.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Paige.

• 22:21Hannah Berner?

  Paige, Paige, Paige. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

• 22:28Paige DeSorbo?

  So, and I never-

• 22:29Hannah Berner?

  Your mom called you a bitch.

• 22:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Hundred percent.

• 22:31Hannah Berner?

  And then the doctor thought it was Paige and wrote it down.

• 22:35Hannah Berner?

  This is so, you know, when you have a sibling and like you're too lazy to say their name like, like fully. So like my brother's name's Daniel, but I always called him Dental.

• 22:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Or I thought you were gonna say Dan, but that would've been crazy.

• 22:47Hannah Berner?

  God, no.

• 22:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, God, no.

• 22:48Hannah Berner?

  God, no.

• 22:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm definitely in my single era and one thing I've heard about dating is that like, it is just hard out there. This year, let's focus on finding people who like what you like and want what you want. And discover it on Bumble. I don't want to spend my time matching with lots of people. I want to spend my time with people I'm compatible with. And that's where Bumble's free Discover feature comes into play. It's a feature that does the heavy lifting for you. Discover brings together a custom mix of people who share your intentions and interests all in one place. So whether you're looking for a fellow foodie, or you want someone who loves movies, you want to go to movies all day,

• 23:34Paige DeSorbo?

  or you want to go to restaurants all night, Discover is a personalized page based on your previous matches and unique profile, which is extremely important in a relationship. And let's just get it out of the way in the beginning. Do you want the same things? You can check out the feature in your Bumble app to see your compatible matches. It's curated for you daily. And let's be honest, dating is just more fun when you're connecting over something you actually care about. Like if you don't get my movie references, then I'm sorry. It's just like not going to work out. And the best relationships, whether it's dating, friendship, or something in between,

• 24:16Paige DeSorbo?

  start with a shared vibe and something that you have in common. So if you haven't checked out Discover yet, tap it, see who's waiting for you, and you can thank me later. Try Discover on Bumble now. Every single one of my group chats has a person who runs. You know the ones suspiciously cheerful about it. And I've come around, they're right. Running is freeing, it's cathartic, it surprises you with something good every time. It's your body reminding you, you can do more than you give it credit for.

• 24:47Hannah Berner?

  That's why I love the new Peloton TreadFlex. Peloton's the latest treadmill that makes the joy of running a lot more accessible. The new Peloton TreadFlex is movable and foldable, designed to fit your life even if you don't think it can. Nobody has a home gym. Everyone has a corner. Run, walk, or hike when you need to, and roll it away when you don't. It's perfect as the weather is starting to get colder.

• 25:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that you can roll it away when you're done with it. And classes with expert instructors who also feel like your besties, and programs at all levels that keep you moving. Call yourself a runner if you're just starting, or race training from 5K all the way to a marathon. Peloton meets you where you are, so you move on your own terms. That's what running gives back. Let yourself run. Explore the new Peloton TreadFlex at onepeloton.com.

• 25:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common, and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair.

• 26:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only. You know I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show, and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing.

• 27:04Paige DeSorbo?

  My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese, arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles, side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's. And for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery. I love a sweet treat. I'm always looking for a sweet treat, and I certainly can't eat something without having a sweet treat.

• 27:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Kachava's new Salted Caramel flavor is one of my favorite flavors that they even make. It's salty, it's sweet, what is better together? Also, I feel like Kitty knows that around 4 o'clock, I need a sweet treat, and I'm always craving something salty and sweet. And if that wasn't good enough, Kachava is all the nutrition your body craves in one delicious, simple shake. Just two scoops provide complete nutrition to your body with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. Kachava provides no fillers, no nonsense, all clean nutrition. No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, preservatives, and they have the best flavors. Matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon French toast, and of course, Salted Caramel.

• 28:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Embrace your salty side. Go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code GIGGLY.

• 28:42Hannah Berner?

  Wait, what else did you watch this weekend?

• 28:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, there was like a new Netflix show. I like caught up on my stuff.

• 28:49Hannah Berner?

  Okay. Oh, so you're being private about it.

• 28:53Hannah Berner?

  She's like, how about none of your damn fucking business?

• 28:59Paige DeSorbo?

  My mom will always call me and I'm like, okay, gotta go, I'm gonna watch my shows. And she's like, what shows? And I'm like, you don't know them. She's like, that's why I'm asking.

• 29:08Hannah Berner?

  No, my mom convinced herself that she has the same taste and shows as you. So whenever you watch something, she watches it. She's like a page.

• 29:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we talk about shows a lot.

• 29:16Hannah Berner?

  Cause you guys like period pieces.

• 29:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we love a period piece.

• 29:20Hannah Berner?

  Okay, then I'm gonna bring it up.

• 29:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, did you see?

• 29:25Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I just took so much courage to say the last sentence.

• 29:30Hannah Berner?

  What did I see?

• 29:32Hannah Berner?

  What did I see?

• 29:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally, my boyfriend, Brandon Skelner, which, no.

• 29:38Hannah Berner?

  Get his name.

• 29:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, what is his name?

• 29:40Hannah Berner?

  Skelardner.

• 29:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I was, I said it wrong on the part, on the part.

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  He told you.

• 29:44Paige DeSorbo?

  On the pod, I heard like a.

• 29:46Hannah Berner?

  Orandon Skelner.

• 29:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Skelner. How's a girlfriend?

• 29:49Hannah Berner?

  Like new, like just got one?

• 29:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. I didn't, once I saw a girlfriend, I honestly didn't look into it.

• 29:54Hannah Berner?

  He heard you talking about him on the pod and he was like.

• 29:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a girlfriend. No, I was like, wow, what interesting timing. We haven't heard one thing about a girlfriend. I say one goddamn word and it's like a whole article. How I met my girlfriend on Tinder. I was like, oh, fuck off.

• 30:09Hannah Berner?

  Tinder?

• 30:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, I made that up. It could have been something totally different.

• 30:13Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'm sorry about that.

• 30:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Thanks.

• 30:15Hannah Berner?

  It's a tough way to start the week, for sure.

• 30:17Paige DeSorbo?

  For sure.

• 30:18Hannah Berner?

  It seems like an attack on you. That was like when, when Charlie Puth got married to make me jealous. I was like.

• 30:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that was crazy. He took the bit too far.

• 30:26Hannah Berner?

  Took it so far. I was like, I don't even follow you anymore. Like, how was he even gonna see that? Like, no, I didn't even see it. Um, okay. I'm beyond about this documentary on Hulu that you told me to watch. Ruby Frankie.

• 30:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 30:43Hannah Berner?

  Not to be just confused with, with Anne Frank. Ruby Frankie.

• 30:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, here's the craziest part. Prior to her getting arrested.

• 30:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I had never gotten like, I'm not a YouTube girly really, so like, I don't really know people that are like very big on YouTube and I really don't know, obviously, like families that are big on YouTube. But on my TikTok algorithm, I would say like a couple months prior to her getting arrested, I kept getting fed like a lot of their videos and people being like, oh, this is like a really interesting tactic, like as a mom and like the comments would be like, no, she's been crazy for years or like, I've watched them for whatever, like, no, she's just like tough love, whatever. So I like kept getting those, so I knew who they were and then she got arrested. So I've been like so in it and obsessed. Well, let's first say what it is. She turned lesbian with that woman.

• 31:40Hannah Berner?

  Okay, well, mic drop.

• 31:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I think that's

• 31:47Hannah Berner?

  It's literally the plot of Mulholland Drive. No, I'm just kidding. So this is the thing. It is such a more complex story than just, I thought it was just a mommy vlogger gone crazy.

• 31:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 31:58Hannah Berner?

  She's not just like a mean mom. I mean, I think she is.

• 32:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:02Hannah Berner?

  But let's be honest, there's Mormonism.

• 32:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Mormonism and brainwashing.

• 32:07Hannah Berner?

  Mormonism, brainwashing. So she started off

• 32:10Paige DeSorbo?

  The husband.

• 32:12Hannah Berner?

  Well, he was interviewed the whole time.

• 32:14Paige DeSorbo?

  The husband has something mental.

• 32:16Hannah Berner?

  He, he loves the embarrassment, the pain.

• 32:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was like the, listening to him tell the story, I was just like,

• 32:23Hannah Berner?

  He like enjoyed it.

• 32:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You're freak. Okay, let's call this what it is. You're not normal either, sir. If anything, scariest one here. Okay? This is terrifying.

• 32:35Hannah Berner?

  Like a normal person who should be ashamed.

• 32:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Slip into the night, my guy. Like, I also, you should be arrested too. You should be arrested too.

• 32:45Hannah Berner?

  Well, stop acting like the father just was absent and had no idea of the family thing. Like, he knows the kid was sleeping on the floor.

• 32:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You knew that your kids didn't get Christmas gifts.

• 32:55Hannah Berner?

  Uh, jail.

• 32:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Immediate jail time.

• 32:58Hannah Berner?

  So I'm only episode two in it. I'm only episode two.

• 33:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay.

• 33:02Hannah Berner?

  So you gave some stuff away already. But her whole thing was she didn't even like care about money. She wanted to be America's mom. She loved the fame and then she would go so far as

• 33:14Paige DeSorbo?

  America's mom, you didn't feed them. You literally, that's the number one thing about being a mom, just feeding us.

• 33:21Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with influencer culture where like, what's going on behind the scenes? And what's incredible about this documentary is they gave hu- like hundreds of thousands of minutes of footage of her filming herself, which by the way, on my deathbed, delete the drafts in my home.

• 33:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, like they have all the videos that like weren't posted, like the things that were edited out, they play.

• 33:48Hannah Berner?

  And I'm saying just based on my embarrassment of me like trying to say something and fucking it up, like that's so embarrassing. She literally is her-

• 33:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Talking and you're like, I'm filming something, like, yeah.

• 33:57Hannah Berner?

  You fumble a word, you're trying to get it right, like that's so embarrassing. She has all that, plus she's like, kids next door, shut the fuck up.

• 34:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:05Hannah Berner?

  Right fucking now, or you better sound happy in this conversation.

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you notice how her daughter referred to her with their first names?

• 34:12Hannah Berner?

  As Ruby. And then, like, the son, one of the sons is so cute. And she realized that he was like the reason they were getting so many views, because he was like so cute. And then he, also, these kids just became teenagers. They basically were like, mom, I want to play with my friends. And not do hours of YouTube video brand deals with you. And she was like, he's possessed, like, he's gone crazy. Um, so it's a combination of religious stuff, brainwashing from this therapist. And just, it's a complicated tale of abuse.

• 34:46Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so crazy. And, you know, like when I was watching it, one of the things was like, I was like, oh my god, I feel so bad for the younger kids. Like, they got the brunt of her, like, psychosis craziness. But then I was like, wait, I actually feel the worst for the older kids? Because they could remember what their mom was like normal. And like the oldest daughter, like, had like, like, started crying about something, obviously, but she just said like, this is not my mom. Like, this is not the mom I grew up with.

• 35:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 35:17Paige DeSorbo?

  So that alone, like imagine one day your mom just like, isn't- Who she's been her whole life and you're just like, wait, what?

• 35:26Hannah Berner?

  Well, the whole concept of filming your kids and you see it a lot, like, people get, I think, addicted to they put the phone on their kid and they immediately get likes. So they think, oh, my god, I want likes.

• 35:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 35:37Hannah Berner?

  Who gives a fuck? I'll keep filming my kid.

• 35:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I said that Daphne was never gonna be on Instagram. Two days in, I'm like, she's a runway model.

• 35:44Hannah Berner?

  She's a DSW brand deal in stores.

• 35:48Paige DeSorbo?

  You wanna go to school? You have to pay for it.

• 35:50Hannah Berner?

  And at one point, the kids were like, I don't wanna film. And she's like, I'll give you ten dollars if you film. There are laws in California now that says something like if you're, your kid has to get a certain percentage.

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Child labor laws.

• 36:01Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, on which, as there should be.

• 36:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because think about all those years ago, like when celeb, like kids started, like Shirley Temple.

• 36:09Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 36:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, starting and making money.

• 36:12Hannah Berner?

  Kids who.

• 36:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Never saw a dime.

• 36:14Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Like, literally were broke at the end of working their whole childhood.

• 36:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:18Hannah Berner?

  I'd also argue that.

• 36:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Like Shia LaBeouf, like his family, like, always took his money in chat.

• 36:24Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, there's something to be said about kids doing chores and kids having a goal and stuff. But have, having kids have like a full career is not healthy to their development.

• 36:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna be so honest, a couple of days ago, I got a call and they're like, Daphne booked a pretty big campaign. And I was like, oh, my god. This is so crazy. I feel like Abby Lee Miller, like, one of my dancers is a star. And I said to my agent on the phone, I said, do I have to create her an LLC?

• 36:55Hannah Berner?

  Mm hmm.

• 36:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I don't wanna take. I'm like, how, how are we getting paid for this? And my agent was like, no, it's an animal. The money can go to you, Paige. I was like, oh.

• 37:07Hannah Berner?

  You're gonna be one of these crazy bitches that is like, Paige leaves her entire estate to Daphne when she passes away.

• 37:16Hannah Berner?

  And your kids are gonna be like, what the fuck? Should I fucking care?

• 37:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you wanna know something? That's funny and like, not true, but funny. Those types of people, I wanna shoot them.

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No, when I hear like, oh, celebrity dies and left entire estate to ex-wife or like, celebrity dies and like, donates it all and has five kids. I would, he's lucky he died, cuz I would have fucking killed him if I was his child. I think that is like, the rudest, most disrespectful.

• 37:49Hannah Berner?

  Some of these celebs hate their like, nepo, their nepo spoiled offspring. So it's like, fuck you, but this is my thing, fine, donate to charity.

• 37:57Paige DeSorbo?

  They didn't ask to be there.

• 37:59Hannah Berner?

  Donate to charity, though. Like, if you're not gonna give it to your kids.

• 38:03Paige DeSorbo?

  If my dad was a billionaire and he died and he left it all to charity, I'm showing up at that charity.

• 38:10Hannah Berner?

  Suddenly, I need charity.

• 38:12Paige DeSorbo?

  The name of the charity is called Paige De Sorbo. No, that, I just like, never understand that. It's like, okay, yeah, donate some to charity, amazing, but to not give any to your children, I can't.

• 38:24Hannah Berner?

  I watch a lot of, you know, celebrity documentaries. I think some of them who are self-made feel like they want their kids to work hard like they did and not just have tons of money.

• 38:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't have a more different mindset. I want my child to not even know a thing. Like, literally not a thing. I don't want them to struggle for a minute.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  Um, yeah.

• 38:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I mean, I do, I want them to build character. But anyway, but like, I, like, that, I feel like that is why you work hard, though. It's like, oh, I wanna give you a better life than I had.

• 38:55Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of kids going through adversity.

• 39:00Hannah Berner?

  I saw this on Instagram. Someone said, you know when you're a kid and you have to sharpen your pencil?

• 39:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:05Hannah Berner?

  So you'd get up to the garbage and you'd just like, sharpen it and it feels kinda nice. And you'd also get to like, you take a break. Oh, that's a version of a cigarette break as a kid.

• 39:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I was the queen of taking a break. The pencil sharpener wasn't enough for me. I was like, ooh, still too stimulating. You guys are all here. I was at the nurse's office. The nurse knew me. Okay?

• 39:28Hannah Berner?

  That's so funny, because now you deal with me. Paige will literally be like, this hurts, this hurts. And I go, you're going on stage, bitch. I'm not your fucking nurse anymore.

• 39:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd walk into the nurse's office and she'd say, what is it today, Paige? I'd say, well, I don't know. I'm feeling a slight tingle in my throat. Better call my mommy.

• 39:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I feel like my past life with my children died a cholera is coming forward today.

• 39:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'd literally go to the nurse's office and the nurse would say, why don't we just call your mom, talk to her for a few minutes and see how you feel? And I'd be like, that sounds nice. And so I'd literally go to the nurse's office in the middle of the day, call my mom, see what she was up to, tell her I love her. She'd say, you can finish the rest of the day. And I'd say, fine. And I would go back to school. I needed like a midday pep talk, okay? It's hard out here.

• 40:15Hannah Berner?

  That's so real. So real.

• 40:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Let kids call their mom during school. What was the harm in it?

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  Would you be like a jail where they have a row of telephones where you go, you're getting a call from PS three twenty-one during the middle of the day? Mom, I can't do it anymore in this place. It's a prison.

• 40:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I always think about kids that get sent away to like wilderness camp, like, and they like write home, like, please pick us up. Like, I, we hate it. Like, I think about that all the time. Like, I so would have done that.

• 40:47Hannah Berner?

  Um, no, my, my brother, like, wrote a, my brother was like you, like, he was always in the nurse's office. And he at one point went to camp, first day was like, no, not doing this. Wrote this like insane.

• 41:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Scathing email.

• 41:01Hannah Berner?

  The camp had to call my parents to warn them about, because they read all the mail, which illegal.

• 41:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's so invasive.

• 41:10Hannah Berner?

  And they were like, you're gonna get a really disturbing message from your son.

• 41:15Hannah Berner?

  But this was like a week later and they go, but he's actually doing great right now. So you could kind of disregard that.

• 41:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's so funny.

• 41:24Hannah Berner?

  My brother was like, I will not. Then they called my parents because they were like, a piece of them.

• 41:33Hannah Berner?

  There was some contraband that someone got into the cabins and it was a Playboy that someone brought and we just need to warn you and my dad was like, "Thank you for letting us know. I hope our son's gonna be okay." I'm thinking, they were like fifteen at the time.

• 41:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's so cra- the evolution of porn. How crazy, kids had to bring magazines.

• 41:56Hannah Berner?

  No, Dez joked, "You used to have to go online and print out a photo of boobs." Did you not- I had a friend once who got in trouble when we were young, cuz he was printing out a photo of boobs.

• 42:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I never like, porn was never in my like-

• 42:12Hannah Berner?

  Zeitgeist.

• 42:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, it wasn't in my middle school, high school Zeitgeist. Like, I just never-

• 42:17Hannah Berner?

  He was going to an all-girls school.

• 42:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, just, we never, it never came out.

• 42:19Hannah Berner?

  You went to an all-girls Catholic school? The amount of shame you guys had about even like talking, did you have sex ed?

• 42:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Barely.

• 42:27Hannah Berner?

  They were like, if a guy comes to-

• 42:29Paige DeSorbo?

  They were like, "Listen to these fifty cent lyrics, how dare he." And I'm like, "This is a fucking banger." "What are you guys talking about?" No, we like barely had it. But we did have like religion class, that was like, "If you have a baby out of wedlock, you're a whore."

• 42:43Hannah Berner?

  Did you ever have a condom class? Where they took the banana?

• 42:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Too intense for an all-girls Catholic school, no.

• 42:49Hannah Berner?

  That's so bad.

• 42:51Paige DeSorbo?

  They basically said condoms exist.

• 42:53Hannah Berner?

  For whores.

• 42:53Paige DeSorbo?

  You should know about them. But if you ever thought about stopping God's children from being born.

• 43:01Hannah Berner?

  Meanwhile, how many of the girls were getting abortions?

• 43:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Tens upon tens of hundreds. And like the one girl that did the like religious thing and kept her baby, they were like, "You're expelled, you fucking slut. Get out of here." No, it was crazy, it was like, no, what an insane time. What a time.

• 43:21Hannah Berner?

  What a time.

• 43:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, I have to go speak at my high school next month.

• 43:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Just saying.

• 43:30Hannah Berner?

  Wait, speaking of celebrities and money. Did you, this is actually a good segue.

• 43:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of whores.

• 43:36Hannah Berner?

  Did you see?

• 43:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of whores getting money.

• 43:42Hannah Berner?

  The best whore in the world, Kim Kardashian.

• 43:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:44Hannah Berner?

  Um, did you see Chris Humphries? Like, there's something happened with the engagement ring?

• 43:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see that. She said that how she, how she paid for her engagement ring and he, um, asked for it back.

• 44:01Hannah Berner?

  Yes. So Chris Humphries only paid for a fifth of the engagement ring, but then he wanted it back. That's not how business works, pal.

• 44:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Not how business works, but it was probably, he was probably being such a dick during that divorce that he was like, well, give me the ring. And she was like, fine.

• 44:16Hannah Berner?

  Like, yeah, just leave me alone. But also, like, what is he gonna do? Like pawn it off?

• 44:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:22Hannah Berner?

  Also, at this point, I'd rather, like, keep your one fifth. Let me pay for the whole ring. Why do you need to pay for a fifth of it?

• 44:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. She probably did that for him to feel he probably.

• 44:31Hannah Berner?

  It's almost more embarrassing that he can only put in a little bit. I'd rather just be like, you can't do it?

• 44:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:37Hannah Berner?

  At least let me have my ring.

• 44:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, what are your thoughts on if I were to get married?

• 44:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Why is that funny? You know? Why is that funny?

• 44:57Paige DeSorbo?

  If I fell in love with a man?

• 45:02Hannah Berner?

  Chris just.

• 45:02Paige DeSorbo?

  If I were to give a man a chance.

• 45:05Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 45:05Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 45:06Hannah Berner?

  If a man were to come correct once, just once.

• 45:10Paige DeSorbo?

  If I were to fall in love with like a broke man?

• 45:13Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Which honestly I love for you.

• 45:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No, maybe that's what I need.

• 45:17Hannah Berner?

  Cause if he's broke, that means he's so good on so many other things, except for.

• 45:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Except for basic living needs.

• 45:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, basic living needs and also.

• 45:26Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not even the point.

• 45:28Hannah Berner?

  Not the point, not the point. We're getting, we're getting sidetracked.

• 45:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's not even put that in.

• 45:31Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 45:34Hannah Berner?

  We're still gonna manifest it on the pod. You're like nip it, nip it in the butt.

• 45:37Paige DeSorbo?

  If I were to fall in love with a broke man, but I loved the fuck out of him and I wanted to marry him and like this was my person.

• 45:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 45:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And he said that he couldn't afford the engagement ring that I specifically wanted.

• 45:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, cuz it's insane what you're gonna ask for. I don't think anyone can afford the ring that you want.

• 45:52Paige DeSorbo?

  There's someone out there.

• 45:54Hannah Berner?

  A Princeton fucking.

• 45:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually, for how like, for how traditional I am, I think in relationships, that actually wouldn't bother me to buy my own ring because I knew it's something I wanted. Now him being broke in general would probably bother me more than me buying my own ring.

• 46:18Hannah Berner?

  My question, you're in a relationship and you're doing well.

• 46:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, yeah.

• 46:24Hannah Berner?

  And you decide, I want this house. And he's like on the fence about it, but you're like, I can buy it, I'm gonna buy it and I wanna buy our house.

• 46:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:34Hannah Berner?

  Would you buy it? And then it's your asset, you know, like it's your investment.

• 46:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not even putting his name down?

• 46:39Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 46:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 46:41Hannah Berner?

  I mean, you can if you want.

• 46:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, hell yeah. This is my house, bitch.

• 46:48Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, the second you get married, you like, obviously you can put your name on everything, but like, you can buy what you want. Like, cuz you could live two lives. Why make money if you were still waiting on him to buy you stuff?

• 46:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, it only matters if we were to get divorced, cuz if we were to get divorced, houses in my name automatically goes to me.

• 47:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 47:07Paige DeSorbo?

  But.

• 47:09Hannah Berner?

  Like if, cuz I'm just saying ring or house. I'm saying, what if you guys, you're looking at a house and you know, if I put more of my money in, we could get a nicer house. Would you do that?

• 47:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 47:18Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent.

• 47:18Hannah Berner?

  It's kinda, but the ring is such a romantic gesture of like.

• 47:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Hannah Berner?

  But also if you, if you care a lot about what other people think of the size of your ring and he's not hitting it, then you need, then you might wanna add some buffer to it.

• 47:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll add a buffer.

• 47:35Hannah Berner?

  Would you tell people if you added a buffer?

• 47:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because I feel like that would make him feel insecure.

• 47:41Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 47:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Would I tell him at nighttime when it's just the two of us? Hell, yeah.

• 47:46Hannah Berner?

  Would I bring it up every time?

• 47:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time we fought? Fuck, yeah. When I was giving birth to his children, I'd be like, what have you done at all? You couldn't even get a full fucking, this ring I fucking had to get for myself with my blood smudges.

• 48:01Hannah Berner?

  Someone was joking online about like if your husband murdered someone, would you throw them under the bus and they would like, no. But every time we got, like I wanted him to do something, I'd be like, you better go hand me the remote in the other room. Or I'm gonna make a phone call.

• 48:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a big fan of blackmail.

• 48:18Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna make a phone call.

• 48:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:19Hannah Berner?

  It's, and it's on speed dial.

• 48:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's like I would hold it over his head.

• 48:23Hannah Berner?

  Remember speed dial?

• 48:27Hannah Berner?

  That's like, I feel like you had it saved in the like telephone.

• 48:32Paige DeSorbo?

  In like real home phones?

• 48:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, so like you'd press one, I might have just made it up.

• 48:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't remember that.

• 48:37Hannah Berner?

  These two are not helpful for this.

• 48:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:40Hannah Berner?

  They have no idea what's going on. One other thing about relationships, that was actually I learned from Detroiters, which you all should watch. Watch the first episode, tell me what you think. It's my favorite comedy right now. They said when you're in a relationship, you have to feel like that person enables your star factor. And I really liked that. I really liked that because there's a lot of like, oh, you know, only one person could be a star, whatever. I feel like you should bring out the star in each other.

• 49:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I've realized that like, if you want to be a better person for that person, like that's a good time. Like I've never wanted to like improve something about myself.

• 49:21Hannah Berner?

  Or you find yourself actually getting worse.

• 49:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because I'm like, I don't have to improve anything because I'm so much better than you. It's like you need time to catch up.

• 49:28Hannah Berner?

  Or yeah, you're not improving because you're so busy trying to improve them. That you're actually haven't even like focused on yourself at all.

• 49:35Paige DeSorbo?

  So I know like I'm in a healthy relationship when I'm like, wait.

• 49:38Hannah Berner?

  When you check yourself.

• 49:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, when I'm like, wait, I actually want to eat a little healthier.

• 49:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah started wearing an ear cuff and it literally changed her whole personality. And if you're gonna shop ear cuffs, you have to go to Missouri. Their new ear stacks come in all shapes and sizes. They have hoops for days. If you want to go bold, they have studs for when you want to keep it simple, and everything in between for when you're in the mood to mix it up. Missouri is a fine jewelry brand designed for stacking and perfect for everyday wear. It's a female-founded company and Missouri is breaking down barriers in what has been a long outdated category of men buying for women. My favorite thing about their hoops is they're really made to live in. Like, if I fall asleep and take a nap, I usually have to take my earrings out. But with Missouri, I honestly don't even feel them.

• 50:24Paige DeSorbo?

  So whether you want to play, mix, or stack in-store, in-app, go to Missouri.com. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door.

• 51:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afegato.

• 51:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge... splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around two o'clock, whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afegato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate, layered with a Salted Caramel or Afegato Creme filling, so it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate.

• 52:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afegato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on,

• 53:12Paige DeSorbo?

  builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/giggly.

• 53:43Speaker 05

  Ever notice how every new AI tool asks you to explain your business to it all over again? Google Workspace with Gemini skips that. You get Google's AI built right into the premium versions of Gmail, Docs, Sheets, and more. No new tools, no extra logins, just one subscription that gives you personalized AI right inside your actual workflow. Make work less work. Try Google Workspace with Gemini at G-O-O dot G-L-E slash Workspace with Gemini.

• 54:14Hannah Berner?

  I pulled my back out last week.

• 54:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Doing Pilates?

• 54:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, in the midst of the class, you were like, "Something's not right."

• 54:21Hannah Berner?

  In the midst of the class, I think I had too much adrenaline and I didn't realize it, but I was doing a move very wrong for way too long. Like, you know, it's like you do everything for like, three minutes?

• 54:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:31Hannah Berner?

  I was two and a half minutes in and the lady was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, how did you even get your body in this way?" But I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna point fingers, copying the girl in front of me.

• 54:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, okay.

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 54:42Paige DeSorbo?

  So, someone check on her back as well, because we're both not doing well.

• 54:46Hannah Berner?

  Girl, if you're listening to the pod, hit me up. We can ice pack together.

• 54:49Paige DeSorbo?

  That's literally being in middle school and we both failed the test.

• 54:52Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:53Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, who cheated off who? We don't know.

• 54:54Hannah Berner?

  Because I'm just going on what she's doing, because sometimes, whatever. But long story short, she should have caught it earlier.

• 55:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's on her!

• 55:01Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, it's like, no one did anything, I never did anything wrong. Everyone did everything else wrong. But I was doing this like, crazy twisting move and I was bending during the twist and you're supposed to stand during the twist, whatever, I fucked it up. I'm not of the age where I just snapped back.

• 55:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Snap back, no.

• 55:16Hannah Berner?

  I, and obviously, after Pilates, what do you think I did all day? Sat with, in a weird position, watching

• 55:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:23Hannah Berner?

  Watching Detroiters for the next eight hours. So I, I got up and I immediately was like, "I've pulled my back out."

• 55:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you want to know the last time that happened to me? I got a cat. So watch out.

• 55:33Hannah Berner?

  Oh, don't tempt me. Don't tempt me. But I Googled it and they were like, "The one thing you shouldn't do if you've pulled your back is like, sit in the same position for too long." And I was like, "Well, that's the only thing I'm gonna do."

• 55:45Paige DeSorbo?

  So what if you've already done that?

• 55:48Hannah Berner?

  I was like, "It's too late for me."

• 55:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:50Hannah Berner?

  And I had already pressured Grace the next morning to do Pilates with me.

• 55:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, well, you've done it to yourself.

• 55:56Hannah Berner?

  So I wake up in the morning and not only am I fighting my own demons, but I have sweet, sweet Grace,

• 56:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:01Hannah Berner?

  who looks forward to this with me. It's like, pretty much, like, she doesn't have a lot of other things going on. We are, she has so much, she's up to here with work. It is the highlight of her day.

• 56:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:12Hannah Berner?

  I make a couple of jokes.

• 56:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me get a good stretch in with my boss.

• 56:15Hannah Berner?

  She's laughing, because it's true.

• 56:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm making jokes, I'm, whenever it's a hard exercise, I look over at her and we have a moment together. It's really quite, it's so fun.

• 56:22Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, "I love my job. I love my job. I love my job."

• 56:27Hannah Berner?

  So I, this was like literally me being insane and I'm gonna pull it up. So I send her a long voice note. Grace? Yes. Hasn't she endured enough? After the fact, after the class, you're like, let me follow up with her? No, before the class, I send her a whole thing. I'm like, I am so sorry to ruin your day. I'm not gonna be able to make it to class today. I pulled my back out. Oh, okay. So she goes, OMG, Godspeed. We'll miss you. Looking back at it now, I think she just said it to say it, but when I saw it, I go, oh my God. She's gonna, it's, she's gonna miss me. Yeah. Get it together. Is she gonna be okay to be in the class by herself? So then I'm like, I can, Hannah, just go. Cause I started Googling, can you do Pilates with a bad back?

• 57:11Hannah Berner?

  And they were like, oh, Pilates is actually good for a bad back. And I'm like, that's crazy. People at, at Google or wherever are like, no, you fucking idiot. It literally says, if you have a bad back, Pilates can help. And I go, so I'm going back to the source of the pain. So then I go, okay, well, maybe I'm being a little bitch and I should just go and it'll help my back. So I respond to her, I go, actually, never mind, I'll go. She goes, okay. I go, thank you.

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  Why did you say thank you?

• 57:46Hannah Berner?

  Then 10 minutes later, I go, actually, my back hurts too much. Never mind. Oh my God. Cause I stood up and I was like, no. You know what's hurting now? Grace's fucking head. Okay, her brain. So this is at 11:15. 11:16, I go, JK coming? No. What time was the class? 11:30, like I have to leave. So she goes, someone is at war with their brain.

• 58:13Hannah Berner?

  Someone is at war with their brain this morning.

• 58:17Hannah Berner?

  And then the best part is after that, I go, JK coming?

• 58:22Hannah Berner?

  Take your kids and then she goes rest. Why didn't you say rest in the beginning? Cause I would have just rested, but instead I felt like I was ruining your fucking day. So again, Grace.

• 58:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 58:35Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, I should not have put her through that, but I was fighting for my life. Cause I kept being like, am I being a pussy?

• 58:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. So now how's your back?

• 58:44Hannah Berner?

  Great.

• 58:46Hannah Berner?

  I really need that day off.

• 58:49Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, it made so much of a difference.

• 58:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You literally, and here's the thing about when you hurt yourself, you don't realize it until that moment that you're getting older and that you don't bounce back. And until you're not bouncing back.

• 59:05Hannah Berner?

  Until it's too late and you can't feed your own cat because as you bend down to give her water.

• 59:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And you get frustrated at yourself. You're like, no, be healed now.

• 59:14Hannah Berner?

  No, a hundred percent.

• 59:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Even like going to Pilates, like this past week, I like ate the healthiest I've eaten in like years. And I went to Pilates and I, and I looked in the mirror and I was like, where are the results?

• 59:25Hannah Berner?

  You do not snap back.

• 59:26Paige DeSorbo?

  You just don't snap back.

• 59:28Hannah Berner?

  When I tell you, all I had to take was a sturdy shit in my twenties and I was like, okay, snap.

• 59:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly.

• 59:35Hannah Berner?

  To the heavens.

• 59:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Truly.

• 59:36Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of body shaming, um, did I ever tell you what my nickname was? Like through high school into college?

• 59:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 59:47Hannah Berner?

  Quadzilla.

• 59:48Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 59:49Hannah Berner?

  Quadzilla.

• 59:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah. Who I'd quite literally dig my own grave and pass away.

• 59:55Hannah Berner?

  That's why I have a good personality. I had a huge, I still, they're not as strong, but I used to have like, my quads were like.

• 1:00:02Paige DeSorbo?

  What is a quad?

• 1:00:04Hannah Berner?

  It's like above your knee. Like my quads were so strong, the muscles were like bulging over my kneecaps.

• 1:00:09Paige DeSorbo?

  To like your thighs.

• 1:00:10Hannah Berner?

  Like I could squat like insane amounts and I was really fast on the court. And like literally like hot guys would be like, sup Quadzilla.

• 1:00:25Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, sorry, I'm just like, trying to think.

• 1:00:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just like, not creative, you know, just like, not a good nickname. Quadzilla?

• 1:00:34Hannah Berner?

  No, the kids were so lazy with it, and it stuck.

• 1:00:42Hannah Berner?

  See, before that, I was called Elf Ears, so it was kind of, honestly, at least it was powerful, in a way.

• 1:00:47Paige DeSorbo?

  At least you thought of Christmas and joy, Quadzilla. That's crazy behavior.

• 1:00:54Hannah Berner?

  And like, I couldn't tell if like, they thought my legs were like, cute or not.

• 1:00:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't.

• 1:00:59Hannah Berner?

  But I told you, I'll always have guys being like, hey, what do you do for those calves? Like, they want my like, calf workout.

• 1:01:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Hannah, ah, you're stronger. You are so strong, because if someone asked me, a man specifically said, "What do you do for your calf workouts?", I'd...

• 1:01:17Hannah Berner?

  No, men look at me like a horse. They like, check my teeth, they're like...

• 1:01:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Why are men always trying to like, treat you like you're, they're breeding with you?

• 1:01:24Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and they're like, "What's your vert?"

• 1:01:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, what?

• 1:01:27Hannah Berner?

  They're like, "Do you want to race?"

• 1:01:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Men always get so oddly competitive with you, in like, such a, what, what is that?

• 1:01:39Hannah Berner?

  That's why.

• 1:01:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I wonder, I wonder if it's just like, the energy you give off, like, immediately?

• 1:01:43Hannah Berner?

  I did start thriving in college, though, because Division One babies were like, a topic.

• 1:01:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:01:51Hannah Berner?

  So like, a lot of the athletes would, you know, be courting women.

• 1:01:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Hannah Berner?

  And then they'd see me.

• 1:01:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Hannah Berner?

  And they'd just smell a Nike sponsorship for their child, like, immediately, like, "Yeah, you could go with the sorority girl who can't fucking walk in a straight line." Or, "I, I could fucking throw a football a hundred yards." What, what do you want for our child? Do you want your child to dunk?

• 1:02:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 1:02:15Hannah Berner?

  With these calves?

• 1:02:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And if, yeah.

• 1:02:17Hannah Berner?

  So it's just like, a matter of what kind of DNA you want.

• 1:02:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  But a lot of these...

• 1:02:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I will say, no one's ever come up to me and said like, "Hey, our kids might be athletic." If anything, they're like, "I think you'll have a gay son."

• 1:02:29Hannah Berner?

  A gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers.

• 1:02:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't talk about my unborn gay son because he's fabulous.

• 1:02:38Hannah Berner?

  Wait, do you think your son's gonna be gay?

• 1:02:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know.

• 1:02:41Hannah Berner?

  You want it so bad.

• 1:02:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that if like I, if I, if I had all boys at, well, one, I'd actually like go to church for so many days in a row and be like, what did I? Where did I mess up? And like if one of them is not gay? God is really trying to teach me something.

• 1:02:59Hannah Berner?

  I have heard that like, you've been cracking me up on the road about the boy moms joke. Which like we're not doing anymore. Can we please do it?

• 1:03:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10Hannah Berner?

  So I found a photo of Paige dressed up like.

• 1:03:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Just like the pinnacle of what you, like when you picture a boy mom, like picking her son up from practice.

• 1:03:20Hannah Berner?

  And like her son's name is like Tanner, Tucker. Something crazy.

• 1:03:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I have a phone.

• 1:03:27Hannah Berner?

  He, you have like flannel on and you have your knee high boots and like you have your Starbucks order that was so complicated and unnecessary.

• 1:03:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And like the weather isn't conducive for a beanie, but she's wearing a beanie.

• 1:03:39Hannah Berner?

  It's part of your look because it is fall.

• 1:03:41Paige DeSorbo?

  It's part of her allure.

• 1:03:42Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 1:03:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And like she just gives that like her oldest, Trenton. She loves him the most and like everyone knows she loves him the most and she like writes him notes in his lunchbox that like, nobody's gonna ever love you the way mommy loves you. Like his little girlfriend, she like refers to her as little girlfriend, you know? And she also like wants to fuck him.

• 1:04:05Hannah Berner?

  You literally show this outfit Paige is like, this is an outfit of a boy mom who wants to fuck her eldest son and that is so real.

• 1:04:13Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so real.

• 1:04:15Hannah Berner?

  I might think you having a daughter would be too powerful. The alliance you guys would have.

• 1:04:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, once, honestly, Daphne did something over the weekend with a dog. Actually, let me just tell the giggles. So Daphne was in the same vicinity as a dog this weekend and I was really nervous about it. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna put gates up and like she can't, I don't need herb anywhere near this dog. Obviously in true like.

• 1:04:39Hannah Berner?

  Cat.

• 1:04:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Cat fashion. I, I, I turned my head for a minute and I'm like, where the fuck's the cat? I see her standing on like a like a thing of stairs staring at this dog. This dog is backed up into a corner crying. Okay, Daphne's literally like far away from him too, like maybe like thirty feet away from this dog. She's just sitting on the stairs, looking at this dog, licking her paw, just being like

• 1:05:09Hannah Berner?

  Unfazed.

• 1:05:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Unfazed, like this is my house now bitch, like I don't. And in that moment, I was like, I, you're my biological daughter, you don't give a fuck about a boy.

• 1:05:20Hannah Berner?

  That's my baby.

• 1:05:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that's my, so like, the thought of like watching my daughter do something that's like against the patriarchy. No, it's too powerful. I'll cry.

• 1:05:30Hannah Berner?

  I'm so proud of her. Also, so she wasn't even like hissing or anything. She literally was just like, look at this.

• 1:05:34Paige DeSorbo?

  She literally looked at the dog. I almost felt like she looked at the dog, looked at me and was like, okay.

• 1:05:42Paige DeSorbo?

  That was the energy she was giving to me.

• 1:05:44Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with her so much. We had a Zoom recently. We're both butter and Daphne were on the Zoom.

• 1:05:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Hannah Berner?

  And so they kind of met.

• 1:05:52Paige DeSorbo?

  They did.

• 1:05:53Hannah Berner?

  They didn't make eye contact, but like.

• 1:05:55Paige DeSorbo?

  But they were like.

• 1:05:56Hannah Berner?

  They're on a work call together.

• 1:05:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they were like, if you guys don't leave us anything after you die.

• 1:06:03Hannah Berner?

  Divorce. Jessica Simpson has new music inspired from her divorce. Have you seen it?

• 1:06:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 1:06:12Hannah Berner?

  Jessica Simpson.

• 1:06:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, oh my, I forgot she was getting a divorce.

• 1:06:16Hannah Berner?

  So we knew that was gonna happen, but.

• 1:06:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, he was?

• 1:06:19Hannah Berner?

  I think so.

• 1:06:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think so.

• 1:06:22Hannah Berner?

  Was it, can we Google who Jessica's?

• 1:06:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I think you're getting her.

• 1:06:24Hannah Berner?

  Simpson's ex was.

• 1:06:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you thinking Carrie Underwood?

• 1:06:29Hannah Berner?

  Hmm, it's possible. It's possible. Was he a businessman or was he a hockey player?

• 1:06:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Businessman.

• 1:06:35Hannah Berner?

  Well, he had a block head and.

• 1:06:38Paige DeSorbo?

  What is a businessman, you know?

• 1:06:40Hannah Berner?

  Again, something men made up to feel important.

• 1:06:43Paige DeSorbo?

  What is?

• 1:06:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 1:06:46Hannah Berner?

  Football. Oh, football. It's worse. Hmm. I'll give you the same. Um, so he like cheated, I guess.

• 1:06:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:06:53Hannah Berner?

  So she's, she's back doing music, which it makes, it's interesting. It's like he leaves, she's back doing what she's passionate about. Also, the hate that woman got.

• 1:07:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No. No, I have it burned in my brain. The outfit she was wearing denim, uh, flared jeans with a leopard belt and a white T-shirt. And they were like, this woman is huge.

• 1:07:12Hannah Berner?

  Well, yeah, they weight shamed her, but also they shamed her voice, which like, I'm sorry.

• 1:07:17Paige DeSorbo?

  People were always mean to Jessica Simpson.

• 1:07:20Hannah Berner?

  Can you guys sing better than shut the fuck up? Also, I loved her voice.

• 1:07:23Paige DeSorbo?

  She's got the last laugh now, though. I think she's a legit billionaire.

• 1:07:28Hannah Berner?

  Good.

• 1:07:28Paige DeSorbo?

  From her Jessica Simpson line. Her shoe line, like her line.

• 1:07:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, she's really.

• 1:07:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Does incredibly.

• 1:07:34Hannah Berner?

  But it looks like she's back. First time she performed in like years. So shout out to her. I'm proud of her. Um.

• 1:07:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so proud of her. Um, I've been seeing this thing on TikTok and I'm gonna try and do it. This is, oh. Let me update the gigglers on, um, my face masks this weekend. I did two face masks. One was a Metacube. I'll put it in the newsletter. I was obsessed with it. I love it. And then I've been seeing this thing on TikTok where it's like how to stay more present, like in your everyday life, which is something I'm really trying to work on. Like staying present in the moment that we're in, you know, like not letting my mind wander and then I'm having like a fake fight with someone in my brain. I'm like, how'd we get here?

• 1:08:18Hannah Berner?

  Four hours later.

• 1:08:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, well, I won.

• 1:08:22Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's called a color walk. And basically you go out on a walk and you pick a color. And then every time you see that color, like you note it in your head, like, okay, red stop sign, like red awning, red car.

• 1:08:37Hannah Berner?

  Sounds like a kid game.

• 1:08:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:40Hannah Berner?

  Are you sure it wasn't like for parents whose kids were being annoying on walks?

• 1:08:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I spy with my little eyes. Wow. Now that I think about it, me and my mom played I Spy all freaking time.

• 1:08:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time we got in the doctor's office, she was like, okay, let's play. Just caught on now.

• 1:08:59Hannah Berner?

  That's what they say though, when you're having a panic attack to like, look at something and say like,

• 1:09:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Put your feet on the ground.

• 1:09:04Hannah Berner?

  The color, the smell, whatever, you know how it is. Well, I'm glad that you're really connecting to colors right now.

• 1:09:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm really connecting to like, nature, trying to get my Tengay steps in.

• 1:09:14Hannah Berner?

  Wait, why does this make me like more worried for your wellbeing?

• 1:09:18Hannah Berner?

  Like, what are you searching for that you don't have right now?

• 1:09:20Paige DeSorbo?

  A husband.

• 1:09:25Hannah Berner?

  You dabble in and out of being like, if I have to see a man. I do have to say though, it just takes one man. And for everyone listening, we joke about de-centering. We don't joke, it's very serious de-centering. But you want to de-center while finding that one person.

• 1:09:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm also like, just being like funny and sarcastic. My rum has never been better. I mean, my skin has been better, but like, you know, like when you have like things you want to do that you're like, oh, I really want to do those, but like, I just never have time. And unless like, oh, once I have like a full Sunday off, like I'll do all those things. I've been doing all those things.

• 1:10:02Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm so proud of you. Are you ever worried that you're gonna clog all your pores with too many masks?

• 1:10:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, first of all, have you been texting my mom?

• 1:10:09Hannah Berner?

  No, are you drowning yourself?

• 1:10:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, okay, I'm dealing with four pimples right now, so like, be easy on me.

• 1:10:17Hannah Berner?

  So I've been sending her memes.

• 1:10:21Hannah Berner?

  Of her pimples' personalities.

• 1:10:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And just different things personified. Usually, my route is like, I'm gonna dry the fuck out of my skin, I'm gonna dry this pimple right up. But this weekend, I went and did the opposite and I hydrated my skin like, a thousand times more than I ever would and my skin actually, my pimples did get better. I'm still like,

• 1:10:40Hannah Berner?

  Because sometimes when you're dry, I feel like it adds more oils, which can clog it more. Like, I kind of made that up, but like,

• 1:10:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I mean, it sounds right, but I didn't.

• 1:10:48Hannah Berner?

  I also do feel like pimples have a natural life cycle that sometimes you just have to let them live.

• 1:10:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, the best thing that I use, again, I'll put it in the newsletter, is my like, light zapper. To like, stop an active pimple. No, it really truly does work. It like stops the bacteria. Wait till you read the newsletter this week.

• 1:11:05Hannah Berner?

  What is the spray that you use for like,

• 1:11:09Hannah Berner?

  for weeds?

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  Roundup?

• 1:11:11Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I use my Roundup and I give it a little spritz.

• 1:11:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly?

• 1:11:18Paige DeSorbo?

  That is something I would do.

• 1:11:19Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, this was the first weekend we had free in like forever.

• 1:11:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:24Hannah Berner?

  And I was really battling demons though, because I would like be like, oh my gosh, feels so good. And then like four hours in, I'd be like, am I depressed? And then I'd be like, no, we're enjoying ourselves.

• 1:11:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I would like put things on my list and be like, if I have this free day, like I might as well get this done. And I had to like act, and that's how I felt like I was, I've crossed over into adulthood. I had to actively be like, no, relax, rest.

• 1:11:46Hannah Berner?

  See, resting is huge.

• 1:11:47Paige DeSorbo?

  But I feel guilty.

• 1:11:48Hannah Berner?

  No, resting is so important, which we learned from my back earlier in this, in this episode. Um, I've not become a full adult yet because my mom called me and was like, you haven't been to the gynecologist in years. And I was like, I go, well, I don't have a gynecologist and no one set me up with one. And she was like, that's not how it works. So I went on Zocdoc, and this is the thing, Zocdoc for gyno is wild.

• 1:12:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Wild.

• 1:12:09Hannah Berner?

  But I found, I honestly liked her, her energy from her photo.

• 1:12:13Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to go on vibes because there's nothing else on Zocdoc to go by.

• 1:12:17Hannah Berner?

  Who do I, whose forearm do I want in my pussy?

• 1:12:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:20Hannah Berner?

  So she was cute.

• 1:12:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:12:21Hannah Berner?

  She seemed nice.

• 1:12:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause you're never going male.

• 1:12:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Except for my freezing, freezing my eggs, my doctor is a guy and I'm, and I'm fine with it. He's made me fine with it.

• 1:12:34Hannah Berner?

  I don't remember it being so quick though. She literally just like in and out shoved it, felt up my boobs.

• 1:12:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:40Hannah Berner?

  I do have a lipoma. I have like a big fat cell on this side. Have you seen it?

• 1:12:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course I have.

• 1:12:49Hannah Berner?

  No, I have like a huge fat globule.

• 1:12:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to go to a dermatologist and get that taken out?

• 1:12:53Hannah Berner?

  I just searched on Zocdoc lipoma doctor and I just set up an appointment. So we'll see what happens there.

• 1:12:59Paige DeSorbo?

  This is really important to me specifically. I either need a full video of them taking that out of you, or I need to come with you. This is my super bowl.

• 1:13:12Hannah Berner?

  No, but this is my problem is that I want to go in and be like, can you cut it out? Thank you. Where I think it's like going to be a whole thing.

• 1:13:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes I watch videos and it's sister lipoma and you have to guess. And I love those videos.

• 1:13:26Hannah Berner?

  Really?

• 1:13:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:26Hannah Berner?

  Okay. How did they get the lipoma out?

• 1:13:28Paige DeSorbo?

  They literally chop it off.

• 1:13:30Hannah Berner?

  Okay, well, do you think somebody would do it the first time? Because I really don't want to go back and forth like a hundred times.

• 1:13:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think you're gonna have to go in for a consultation first. They're not just gonna meet you and say, let's chop your skin off.

• 1:13:39Hannah Berner?

  What if I just give them a twenty and I'm like, can you just cut it off?

• 1:13:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's just freeze this off, huh?

• 1:13:44Hannah Berner?

  There's like different, anyway, it's growing. And honestly, like, the summer's coming and I just feel like.

• 1:13:49Paige DeSorbo?

  And they need it off.

• 1:13:50Hannah Berner?

  I need it off.

• 1:13:51Paige DeSorbo?

  It's, come on.

• 1:13:53Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, so, but she was, she said it's not breast cancer, so just want to let you guys know.

• 1:13:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, good. I didn't even know that was something that.

• 1:13:59Hannah Berner?

  It's just like, it's close to my boob.

• 1:14:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Got it, okay.

• 1:14:02Hannah Berner?

  Wow, the pod has gotten crazy.

• 1:14:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we went in so many different directions, who even knows?

• 1:14:07Hannah Berner?

  Um, honestly, and the final thing, final celeb I want to bring up, who I've honestly never respected more. And she gets torn apart for everything she does. Taylor Swift.

• 1:14:21Paige DeSorbo?

  What'd she do?

• 1:14:22Hannah Berner?

  She was paparazzied with Travis Kelsey. And the back of her hair.

• 1:14:28Paige DeSorbo?

  A mess?

• 1:14:29Hannah Berner?

  A complete mess.

• 1:14:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Not her business.

• 1:14:31Hannah Berner?

  None of her business.

• 1:14:32Paige DeSorbo?

  The, the woman is a businesswoman. The back of her hair, not important.

• 1:14:37Hannah Berner?

  It's starting to make me realize, like, the gag has been on us the whole time. Like, I think she loves people being like, her style's not great, her whatever's great. Because she's like, I'm a billionaire. And I still do whatever the fuck I want. And I'm not gonna conform to whatever societal pressure you think a female celebrity should be. And her walking on this date where she knew was gonna get photographed. And her hair being a damn mess in the back.

• 1:15:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she didn't want to go to dinner. She literally, that's a woman who was on the couch and was like, do we, do we have?

• 1:15:07Hannah Berner?

  She, she thought she was gonna get out of it.

• 1:15:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she thought she was gonna get out of it.

• 1:15:10Hannah Berner?

  She really thought, she was like, it's, she was like, it's windy outside, have you seen the wind? I don't know if, like, the roads got canceled.

• 1:15:18Hannah Berner?

  Um, some quick updates. Our book comes out in less than a month. And I know you guys thought this was a bit. So did we. It's not a bit, it's done. The book is done. And a lot of you have already pre-ordered it. However, I looked at the numbers of the people who listen to the pod and the people who have pre-ordered the book. Some of you haven't.

• 1:15:45Hannah Berner?

  No. No. I'll find you. Hello. Some of you haven't. Um, this book is our passion, our life's work. I highly recommend go and order it. Our thesis. Our thesis statement of life. No, like we worked on our thesis. It's literally, we put our heart and soul, we bled onto it. And if you click in the description, you can preorder it and it'll, you'll be one of the first to get it when it comes out on April 15th. Also, the audiobook is available, so you can immediately get it. So do it now, so you don't forget. Which is basically just listening to the pod. Yes. You know? Yes. Just a fun, a spicier fun pod. Yes. A longer pod. A longer pod. Where we like, anyway, yeah.

• 1:16:31Hannah Berner?

  I'm trying to think of something. Also, I have shows in Albany this weekend. Are you coming? Oh, yeah. When? Thursday, Friday, Saturday? Do you want to come Thursday? Yeah. We'll talk about it. Um, but I also just announced shows in New Haven, Connecticut, Providence, Rhode Island, Brooks, California, Highland, California, Richfield, Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, and West Hampton Beach. Those are all my new hour. Yay. I'm so excited. Paige is gonna see my new hour this week. Give me notes. I'm so excited for it. She might actually do her own 10 minutes. We'll see. I'm not doing that ever, but thank you. I quote Paige Sorbo, she said, "I would never stand for that long." I couldn't. I'd pass out. Literally, I've been watching Amazon Live sometimes when I miss you. I have to say. You're doing full stand-up. I'm doing full stand-up.

• 1:17:15Hannah Berner?

  Literally, I was like kicking my legs. I was like, um, we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. Talk soon. Bye.

• 1:18:16Speaker 06

  The Disney Plus, Hulu, HBO Max bundle. The best in entertainment in one bundle.

• 1:18:20Speaker 01

  This is gonna be a good time.

• 1:18:22Speaker 06

  With new seasons of your favorites like Percy Jackson: Ambialimpians on Disney Plus.

• 1:18:26Speaker 07

  Do you ever get used to all this? Nope.

• 1:18:28Speaker 06

  The scandalous All's Fair on Hulu.

• 1:18:30Speaker 07

  Let's give these girls a show.

• 1:18:32Speaker 06

  And the high society drama of the HBO original, The Gilded Age on HBO Max. What have I gotten myself into? Streaming this month, plans starting at $21.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit disneyplushulimaxbundle.com for details.

• 1:18:49Speaker 08

  Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting. About coordinating another meeting. To prepare for the pre-meeting. Ahead of the follow-up meeting. Which will, of course, require a recap meeting. And then, another meeting. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode.