Giggling about hunger strikes, purity rings, and the opera

Hannah is having an identity crisis and Paige has opinions on lookalike contests. Special thanks to Dunkin' for supporting this episode! subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces and let's just say these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.

• 0:55Hannah Berner?

  This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where Cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with Cars.com. Where to next?

• 1:38Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 1:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, so many people have my location.

• 1:47Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 1:51Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend, like, doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 1:55Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 2:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 2:12Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat, so once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 2:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 2:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 2:29Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising, and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 2:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 2:50Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 2:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 2:55Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 2:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.

• 3:01Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 3:10Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 3:13Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 3:14Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 3:16Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You could check out the full terms in the app.

• 3:28Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 3:29Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 3:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Jerry, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my giggly, wiggly, jigglies, pigglies.

• 3:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Hold on, I saved something. I'm not like on my phone. I just saved something.

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  We literally just started and she's like, no, I'm paying attention, keep talking. I'm just...

• 4:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually bored. Yeah.

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  Um, who are you texting?

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I saved something and I wanted to bring it up. Okay, listen to this. Five countries cracking down on influencers. China has banned influencers from speaking about topics they don't actually know about.

• 4:24Hannah Berner?

  So we can't speak about anything anymore? Like, literally anything?

• 4:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Australia has effectively banned kid influencers after implementing world's first block on social media access for children under 16, which I actually so agree with.

• 4:37Hannah Berner?

  We stan.

• 4:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Spain, popular tourist spots have had to regulate or ban travel influencers after selfie tourism ruined the environment and infuriated locals.

• 4:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Whatever, I, whatever.

• 4:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I digress. The Netherlands has banned influencers from promoting online gambling, promoting partnerships between streamers and betting operators.

• 5:03Hannah Berner?

  I mean, true, like, we've been talking about that. It is giving a little sexist, though. It's giving sexist, like, I feel like influencers is giving, we don't want women working.

• 5:13Paige DeSorbo?

  France has banned influencers from promoting fast fashion. They, they are also banned from promoting dangerous cosmetics surgeries and extreme diet, dieting products.

• 5:23Hannah Berner?

  Okay, this, okay, I have a lot of thoughts. I haven't thought this through, so I'll work this out in, in live time. I feel like if you're banning influencers promoting fast fashion, stop blaming influencers. Go for the fast fashion, go for the source, not these girls who are just trying to make a buck. Go for the fucking billionaire who owns it.

• 5:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, I feel like fash fat.

• 5:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I also feel like fast fashion, which I'm obviously guilty of, like, loving Zara, I buy everything on Amazon, is because the world is so expensive, honey. You could go on Amazon right now and get a YSL heel dupe, sweetie.

• 6:03Hannah Berner?

  Well, also-

• 6:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Why would they not?

• 6:05Hannah Berner?

  Back in the day, people used to, like, sew clothes and, like, make things, and it was, like, I guess affordable. I don't know, I wasn't there. And nowadays, it's, clothes are either ten dollars or literally five hundred dollars.

• 6:21Paige DeSorbo?

  A little kitty just jumped up on the bed.

• 6:23Hannah Berner?

  She, she knows when we're starting, and she's like, don't forget my shout out in the beginning.

• 6:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, having a cat is just the fucking best.

• 6:32Hannah Berner?

  I know. Should I tell them about what happened with Butter?

• 6:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:36Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so, Butter, normally when I'm traveling, Dez is around, or Grace is around. There's always, like, someone around, or when Dez is traveling, I'm around.

• 6:47Hannah Berner?

  This last week, something happened where Dez and I were both working. And I said, okay, let's get a cat sitter.

• 6:54Paige DeSorbo?

  For how long you've had a cat? I feel like you never have a cat sitter. I'm rotating cat sitters. Honestly, Daphne likes a cat sitter better than me.

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing with butter. Butter spoiled. Butter doesn't do cat sitter. But I explained to the cat sitter, I had to get on a call with a cat sitter. I had to like get interviewed.

• 7:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Get a zoom.

• 7:09Hannah Berner?

  And they were like, tell us about your cat. I'm like, you're not gonna see this bitch. She doesn't want to see you. Feed her and leave. She has a litter robot that's working overtime. You just have to open up a can of wet food, get some water, get out of there. So I'm running around and I get a text from Grace. Who's also, we have like multiple people on this cat sitter. It's like my top priority. And she's like, Butter hasn't eaten. And I'm like, okay. Every now and then, someone like shuts a door and she's like stuck in a closet. We gotta get the cat sitter back, open every single crevice. Butter needs saving. So then the cat sitter is like, she's still not eating. And I'm like, okay, I'm starting to get really worried about my cat. Cause it's like two, three days in.

• 7:53Paige DeSorbo?

  What day? Yeah, this is like.

• 7:54Hannah Berner?

  It's like two, three days in. If you Google like, how long can my cat go without food? They're very dramatic. They're like, after 24 hours, your cat is dead. And I'm like, okay.

• 8:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Not Daphne. Daphne is stored for the winter.

• 8:09Hannah Berner?

  So, but then I start searching like when cats are stressed because they miss their owner. And I was like, I think Butter's on a hunger strike. And Grace was like, that seems really dramatic. And I'm like, well, don't count Butter out.

• 8:24Paige DeSorbo?

  She's so 90s. She's like, I just won't eat for five days and then I'll be at my goalie.

• 8:29Hannah Berner?

  But I'm like, I'm very stressed. And Dez is like, I'm getting in tomorrow. I'll know what's gonna happen. He texts me. Butter comes out immediately, rolling around on the rug, so happy to see everyone. Does know everyone's been so scared. I'm like, why did you do a hunger strike? She just was like, I'm not touching that food from that stranger. Sorry stranger danger.

• 8:52Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, um, actually that stranger could have injected something into my wet food. Not gonna traffic me bitch. Not getting me. She's like, I've been stray before and I'm not going back. She's literally like, I've been rich and I've been poor and I'll pick rich every time.

• 9:10Hannah Berner?

  So cats like communicate with you doing crazy stuff like Daphne will shit on someone's bed when she's mad. Butter will refuse to eat, but then somehow she's peeing and pooping still. So I don't know what is going on, but she's smarter than all of us. Anyway, butter's fine. But I was, um, I was in California. She doesn't like when I go to California. She knows it's far.

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Cats are so much like their owners that like Butter goes into a depression. You are very depression prone.

• 9:38Hannah Berner?

  Butter was in the back of a dark closet trying to find a happy place.

• 9:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Where Daphne like acts out and then 24 hours later, she's like, I just remembered, I don't care. You know, and that's like so, that could not be more me. I'm like, I'll burn this whole fucking city down. And then 12 hours later, I'm like, I was literally just hungry.

• 9:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally don't care about this at all.

• 10:01Hannah Berner?

  I had a tennis weekend.

• 10:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 10:04Hannah Berner?

  You know, I love my tennis weekends.

• 10:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Indian Wells, shout out.

• 10:08Hannah Berner?

  So Indian Wells chic as fuck. They were giving out free yogurt, free fayay in the desert.

• 10:15Paige DeSorbo?

  That's when you know you are, you've hit peak capitalism.

• 10:19Hannah Berner?

  But I also was like, it was 90 degrees and someone's like, do you want a free yogurt? And I was like, I really can't.

• 10:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, we miscalculated.

• 10:29Hannah Berner?

  Have a yogurt right now, I die. But, um, I am really close to being like in the tennis Illuminati. Like I'm so close. I've had this, wait, do you know how chic Indian Wells is? Indian Wells, Indian Wells, sorry you guys, it's the morning.

• 10:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Indian Wells?

• 10:49Hannah Berner?

  Indian Wells is underneath the stadium court, there's a private Nobu.

• 10:56Hannah Berner?

  Underneath the court. That like you can't, no one can go, you have to get invited. Like you have to have like won a grand slam to go.

• 11:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 11:05Hannah Berner?

  Like they're like, oh, you played college tennis, get the fuck out.

• 11:08Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's not like operating every Friday night and Saturday, it's operating like?

• 11:13Hannah Berner?

  It's basically like, oh, Roger Federer is here, take him to the Nobu.

• 11:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 11:18Hannah Berner?

  It's chic, it's chic.

• 11:20Paige DeSorbo?

  So you didn't get to go?

• 11:21Hannah Berner?

  No. They actually, like, someone, some security like pummeled me, they were like, don't even think about it.

• 11:27Paige DeSorbo?

  They purposely were like, if you heard about it, no you didn't.

• 11:30Hannah Berner?

  Lululemon is like the sponsor of the tournament, which is cool, so I got to host a suite.

• 11:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Fun.

• 11:37Hannah Berner?

  By the way, it's not easy to get to Palm Springs.

• 11:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's not. I've only been once.

• 11:43Hannah Berner?

  I've never been to Coachella, have you?

• 11:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never been to Coachella.

• 11:47Hannah Berner?

  And I'm so proud of that.

• 11:49Paige DeSorbo?

  We've never been to any festival.

• 11:51Hannah Berner?

  No festival?

• 11:52Paige DeSorbo?

  We've never been to Stagecoach.

• 11:54Hannah Berner?

  No, well, that's, that's crazy.

• 11:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, there's a place in New York City called Governor's Island, I've never been to it.

• 12:01Hannah Berner?

  I've heard of it, but the closer it is to me, the scarier it is also.

• 12:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I just, those, those types of events, I feel like I hated in college, like I hated raves in college. But I went because we were in college and when your friends are doing something, you just do it. But now, but once I had free will, I was like, why would I? Why would I go sweat? Also, you know me, like, music is.

• 12:31Hannah Berner?

  Triggering.

• 12:32Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not triggering, but like, I'm not traveling to see you, I don't give a fuck.

• 12:38Hannah Berner?

  Well, part of me.

• 12:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll listen to you on my phone.

• 12:40Hannah Berner?

  It's kind of how I feel about sports, like if I actually care about the match or the game, I want to watch it in a dark room alone with my cat, so I can actually watch it. Like if I want to listen to a song or like watch a music video, I'm not like, let's invite a crew.

• 12:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's go to the soundstage.

• 12:56Hannah Berner?

  Also, I'm a yapper, if there's people around me, I'm missing the whole concert. And I'm like, great, I paid money to have the same conversation I have with my friends every day.

• 13:06Paige DeSorbo?

  The thing with me and Coachella is like, I'm not walking from stage to stage. Like, I'm not walking around. I think that's my thing. And people like pass out left and right.

• 13:15Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say, I'm not letting my future unborn child go to Coachella. It's unsafe. Cause I know my kid's not gonna drink enough water, because they have my genetics, and like, they'll pass out. Why can't we have air-conditioned festivals?

• 13:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Why can't they just be like in an auditorium?

• 13:30Hannah Berner?

  Everyone has a Dunkin' refresher.

• 13:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone like has a seat. Um, I saw this thing online the other day and I knew that it was so, it was so split on the internet, and I know that it's gonna be so split for us. And I already know what your answer is going to be.

• 13:48Hannah Berner?

  I'm so excited to fight with you.

• 13:50Paige DeSorbo?

  A girl came and made a TikTok and said, every, I have a roommate, and every time she showers, she puts lotion on. And she, and the girl was like, that's crazy to me. Like, I could never put lotion on every single time I shower. Like, maybe once in a while I do it, but I can't believe these people exist that put lotion on every single time they shower. Now me, I'm sitting there and I have to immediately go to the comments because I know that I'm one of those people. And the comments were very split. Like, yes, we exist. Like, I'm right here. I put lotion on every, after every single shower more diligently than I do washing my face at night.

• 14:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I could tell you the last time I didn't put lotion on after I showered was probably like three months ago, and it's like, because I showered really late, I was tired.

• 14:39Hannah Berner?

  Question, can I ask some questions before I give my response?

• 14:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I knew you were gonna have follow-ups.

• 14:43Hannah Berner?

  If you don't lotion after the shower, do you feel dry and like tight?

• 14:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 14:49Hannah Berner?

  Now that I have this information, can I give my response?

• 14:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. The floor is yours.

• 14:54Hannah Berner?

  Thank you. I think that your body gets like addicted to things. Cause that's how I am with my face. Like, if I don't put moisturizer on immediately after showering, my face. I like can't smile. It's so like dry.

• 15:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:09Hannah Berner?

  Um, but I never put it on my body and my body feels great. But like my mom lotions every time after the shower because she's an adult. And she like needs to. I feel like it's like coffee. Like you're but it's like also I feel like even with like um putting lip stuff on. I wonder is there anyone who like never puts lip stuff on and their lips are just like great all the time?

• 15:33Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what I think about a lot?

• 15:35Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 15:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember when Mila Kunis came out and was like, I'm definitely not bathing my kids every single day?

• 15:41Hannah Berner?

  I do remember that.

• 15:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know why, but I think about that a lot. Like I think about it at least once a month.

• 15:50Hannah Berner?

  What was her reasoning?

• 15:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I think her reasoning was like they don't get dirty, like they're not dirty every single day and it's like.

• 15:58Hannah Berner?

  I've seen my little niece and nephew and they can't have a meal without needing to be like thrown in a tub of, yeah, hose, literally hose. Me too though. I also love a shower.

• 16:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You love a shower. I also here's the thing, I've re- I have fully reverted back to the structure that my mother gave me in kindergarten. Like I'm waking up because you want to know what? She was right all along. Why would I ever deviate from her goddamn plan? I wake up, I do what I have to do. Around five o'clock, I go into the bathroom. I take my shower. I get ready for bed and then after like 6pm, if there's anything I need to do before I go to sleep at night, that's when I do it. But I'm fully showered, like ready for sleep.

• 16:50Hannah Berner?

  But that's why moms are so important.

• 16:52Paige DeSorbo?

  By at least 7pm.

• 16:53Hannah Berner?

  Some people, if you have like a crazy childhood, like you were never taught how you're supposed to take care of yourself, which is upsetting.

• 17:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Like learning basic hygiene.

• 17:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but, oh wait.

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I love structure in anything. I'm a structured person. I need structure for my personality.

• 17:12Hannah Berner?

  In your chart, don't you?

• 17:13Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I don't. I have, I'm Scorpio sun.

• 17:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a Pisces moon and I'm an Aquarius rising, which just like so is not me.

• 17:25Hannah Berner?

  That's why you like smoking weed.

• 17:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I'm an Aquarius rising.

• 17:29Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but I kind of made that up. Like I have no idea.

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like you did. Actually, I feel like me being an Aquarius rising is why I can tolerate quirky people.

• 17:39Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you got me being Aquarius rising is why? You don't make me wanna blow my brains out every time I talk to you.

• 17:47Hannah Berner?

  You love quirky people.

• 17:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Aquarius is like quirky. I love quirky people.

• 17:51Hannah Berner?

  And you know what's crazy? I always loved scary women.

• 17:56Hannah Berner?

  No, like all my best friends were like the scariest girl in the school and I'd be like her like little Labrador retriever and I'm like, don't mess with her. You can mess with me though, don't mess with her.

• 18:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And I feel like I've never truly had a best friend that's exactly like me. Cause I'm like boring, like who cares? Like I need a little quirk. I need a little energy.

• 18:17Hannah Berner?

  So my quirk was, and I don't know like the exact reasoning, but you know my mom? Apparently I was so, I don't know what I would do in the morning, but like getting me dressed. And I'm talking about when I was like eight years old, like I wasn't like two years old. Getting me dressed in the morning was like, I didn't like change. Like it's hard. You know how like you're like, hey, can we record the pod? And I'm like, but I'm, I'm in bed right now. And you're like, get up. Like I don't like transitioning. I'm, I'm comfortable. So she would dress me in my outfit the night before and put me to sleep. Cause she didn't wanna deal with me in the morning.

• 18:53Paige DeSorbo?

  See, you were actually a great candidate for a uniform.

• 18:56Hannah Berner?

  You're so right about that.

• 18:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You would have thrived with the uniform.

• 18:59Hannah Berner?

  Thrived. See, public school, I was crazy and I was wearing, oh, you would have been upset. You would have been upset.

• 19:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Also like as I get older and like I'm hitting prime, like maternal ages.

• 19:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I do think of like, obviously, there's like random thoughts about like, how are you gonna raise your child and like blah blah, like whatever. I do think that ki- like, I specifically know, and I think kids too, like thrive with routine. Like, once you throw off their routine, they're like, what the fuck's going on? Which I 100% get, because even as an adult, if you throw off my routine, I'm like, uh huh.

• 19:37Hannah Berner?

  But like, kids will push you, like, they'll be like, I don't wanna do this. It's like, yeah, you're three, of course you don't wanna do this. But kids want to know what they should do. Like, my mom was even talking about Lois, how like...

• 19:50Paige DeSorbo?

  They want structure.

• 19:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, she told Lois, we can watch three episodes, and Lois was like, okay. And then, next you know, Lois was telling my mom, two more episodes, where like, when I was watching TV with her, she was like, we're gonna watch this forever. But like, cuz I didn't tell her anything.

• 20:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work? Outfit. Leading a meeting? Outfit. Getting drinks with your friends? Obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Allies from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute, and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer, and a little shoulder bag, very, I just threw this on, when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too.

• 20:50Paige DeSorbo?

  She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane, and this season, it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready-to-wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night, because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15.

• 21:27Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Affogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock, whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Affogato Creme filling, so it feels

• 22:10Paige DeSorbo?

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• 22:54Paige DeSorbo?

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• 23:34Paige DeSorbo?

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• 24:18Paige DeSorbo?

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• 24:38Hannah Berner?

  I also have a good note. I have a good feminist note for you guys.

• 24:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it.

• 24:43Hannah Berner?

  Because you know how you talk about raising a son and how you want to raise a great son? And we're all like, we want to raise a great son. I saw this-

• 24:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I'm having a boy first, yeah.

• 24:51Hannah Berner?

  I saw this thing online, and it's very important. Because I'm like, we blame the moms so much for like, when a son comes out wrong. And first of all, we know these moms, like, we know them in our heart. Moms are great people.

• 25:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, I saw a video the other day, and it was like a kid doing something crazy. And all the comments were like, where's the dad? Where's his dad?

• 25:16Hannah Berner?

  Someone said that the way guys treat women is a direct reflection of how their dad treats their mom.

• 25:26Hannah Berner?

  So when you guys are searching for a partner, I don't care, whatever you do, if he sees the dad disrespecting you, treating you like shit, not letting you speak, bossing you around, I don't care how good you are as a mom to that kid, the kid sees that and that affects his relationship with women. So when you're choosing your man, add that to the long list.

• 25:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Not to like, take it to like a super dark level on like a Friday afternoon.

• 25:57Hannah Berner?

  Tuesday, but.

• 25:58Paige DeSorbo?

  But when I, oh right, what, oh my god.

• 26:03Hannah Berner?

  And we're on earth.

• 26:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Is everyone okay?

• 26:06Hannah Berner?

  Well, I believed you at first. I was like, it is Friday.

• 26:11Hannah Berner?

  You're not okay.

• 26:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, not to take it to a super dark level, but when I was in like an extremely mentally and physically abusive relationship and.

• 26:21Hannah Berner?

  So was. When I got hit by a car by a man.

• 26:26Paige DeSorbo?

  When I literally got beat to a pulp, um, sorry, I digress. I can make jokes about it because it happened to me. I'm a hundred percent, if not ninety-eight percent sure that this man's dad was also extremely abusive to the wife. Obviously, I never like saw that, like, full out, but there were just like certain signs and now as I'm obviously like fifteen years out of that relationship, like I still think back to it in my thirties and how like I handled it and as a nineteen year old girl and there were so many signs that that dad was extremely abusive to the wife.

• 27:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I feel like so many times you see something and people will be like, wow, the mom didn't do this or that. And I'm like, no, the dad's setting a fucking horrible example.

• 27:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because it's just like so easy to blame women for everything. It's so exhausting.

• 27:22Hannah Berner?

  Can I?

• 27:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It's almost like, guys, find something else. The JFK Junior lookalike contest in Washington Square Park.

• 27:28Hannah Berner?

  I honestly couldn't get myself to click on it. Any guy who says he looks like JFK Junior gives me the ick. Like if you think you look like him, you already don't.

• 27:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And I feel like on TikTok, the girls are really coming for the other girls like, this isn't, you're not Carolyn Bissette, like you can't, you're not doing it right, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

• 27:48Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Nobody's coming for the men who are posting outfit videos trying to look like JFK Junior. We've truly lost the plot. Like, guys.

• 27:58Hannah Berner?

  Well, I had some friends joking that they were like, oh, I might have to walk by the JFK Junior, um, lookalike contest to find a boyfriend, but then I was like, ooh, like imagine some guys like in the mirror preparing to look like JFK Junior.

• 28:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Hot take, I love the show, but it seems like they were not the best match for each other. Just gonna go out on a limb here and say, look, I love a woman who will beat her man in the streets of New York City. If I didn't think someone was gonna take a video of me, I would have done it so many times. But that's not the best, like, example of a good relationship. Like, if you wanna beat the shit out of him, and I've been there so many times, you can't do it, but also you probably shouldn't be dating that person, let alone marrying them.

• 28:45Hannah Berner?

  Also, especially when she knew, like, all they do is get photographed.

• 28:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you see the actress who came out and was like, um, yeah, I'm kinda pissed at how you guys portrayed me?

• 28:57Hannah Berner?

  Well, I wrote that down, Daryl Hannah, she's not an actress, she's like the actress of the 90s. Are you familiar with Daryl Hannah?

• 29:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I only know her from that one movie with Tom Hanks.

• 29:09Hannah Berner?

  Forrest Gump, she starred in, she's iconic, and she was in, um, Splash, I think that was with Tom Hanks too.

• 29:15Paige DeSorbo?

  That was her in Forrest Gump?

• 29:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, that's her in Forrest Gump.

• 29:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you sure? Hold on, I need to fact check you.

• 29:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I need to fact check myself, actually. Splash, Kill Bill, Steel Magnolia, Blade Runner, A Walk to Remember.

• 29:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Daryl Hannah was not in 1994 film Forrest Gump.

• 29:36Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 29:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I knew something was up there.

• 29:41Hannah Berner?

  Who was in Forrest Gump?

• 29:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Usually I let you, I let you just go, I'm like, she's expressing herself.

• 29:47Hannah Berner?

  You let me cook. Oh, she wasn't, it was Robin Wright. Okay, well, both two great actresses.

• 29:55Hannah Berner?

  So Daryl Hannah comes out and is like,

• 29:59Hannah Berner?

  I don't do anything to anyone. I don't say anything to anyone.

• 30:04Hannah Berner?

  I never want to be involved in anything. She's like-

• 30:07Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, I didn't host cocaine parties, like, I would never show up to someone's TV set and just- or like a funeral-

• 30:15Hannah Berner?

  I wouldn't use an heirloom to snort crack on. She basically was like, most of the time, I don't respond to like rumors about me because it just adds to the flames to the fire, but she was like-

• 30:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 30:26Hannah Berner?

  The way they depicted her in this was that she was this sad, annoying, disrespectful, horrible person.

• 30:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, even the actress's voice, every time she talked, you were like, "Shut up."

• 30:40Hannah Berner?

  It was done so badly where like, I think they tried to make her like the antagonist so that you'd root for Carolyn. But instead, it made, I was like, why would this guy ever want to be with this horrible person? So Daryl Hannah, good for you for speaking up because I, I know that speaking up causes drama and I don't recommend it in most situations.

• 31:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I really don't.

• 31:03Hannah Berner?

  But she basically was like, "Don't use me."

• 31:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I really don't speak enough.

• 31:07Hannah Berner?

  "Don't come for my entire person and my entire livelihood." Like, imagine you lived this whole full life and then this TV show comes out depicting you as a person, your entire life, and it's going viral and you're the worst, like, side chick in the world and she's like, "That just wasn't us." I would never force a guy to marry me. Like, the accusations they had on her was bonkers.

• 31:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you ever think about how like we are not JFK Junior's type at all? He would have thrown up in his mouth. He would have been like, "A brunette."

• 31:42Hannah Berner?

  Well-

• 31:43Paige DeSorbo?

  "A redhead."

• 31:44Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 31:45Paige DeSorbo?

  "Get out of here." You know, sometimes the gigglers will DM me and they'll be like, "Hey, sorry, so I know I'm blonde, but..."

• 31:54Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's like so funny, but anyway.

• 31:56Hannah Berner?

  I do feel like when I find out a guy likes blondes, I get like empowered cuz I'm like, I suddenly feel free of his wrath and I'm like, you don't have.

• 32:07Paige DeSorbo?

  You see a mistress of soul.

• 32:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm like, but I'm like, you don't have control over me, like you don't fuck with me. So then I'm free. We're like, but there's, there was drama and I hate to spread gossip, but I think this was from Brooke Shields' mouth. Brooke Shields, who we love, iconic, went on a date with JFK Junior when she was still a virgin. She was like America's most famous virgin, which was so nineties to be like, here's the virgin of the day.

• 32:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Not even nineties. Remember when like the Jonas Brothers wore purity rings? What was that?

• 32:43Hannah Berner?

  That was um, religious trauma.

• 32:46Paige DeSorbo?

  What was like that? Like even like Britney Spears, people were like obsessed with when she was like gonna turn eighteen and like same with the Olsen Twins. Like what a weird genre of like celebrity dumb that like we were just like, oh yeah, she's a virgin, duh, everybody knows that. Like imagine the world finding out when you lost your virginity.

• 33:10Hannah Berner?

  No, she's like, I'm a virgin, but I have given some hand jobs.

• 33:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Like that is so crazy.

• 33:15Hannah Berner?

  It's disgusting. Oh yeah. So she said that she went on a date with him and it went great. And then she's like, I'm not having sex with you cuz in her head, she's like, I'll fall in love with this man. So then he apparently leaves her, like is like, oh, we're not having sex and just like leaves her wherever they were. She has to like find her way back. And she said like, he knew I was obsessed with him. And she was like, I was obsessed with him and I couldn't believe I was on a date with him, but like I didn't wanna have sex with him cuz I knew I'd fall in love with him and I didn't wanna deal with all that. Also, it's like, you don't have to have sex with anyone if you don't want to. So then this girl on TikTok was like, he, he knew she was in love with him.

• 34:00Hannah Berner?

  So he wasn't like upset about that. He liked Carolyn Bissett because she didn't like him. But I also feel like that oversimplifies it. Like we don't know what happened between those two. And I think we need to stop. Or like, take it all with such a grain of salt. The internet oversimplifies everything.

• 34:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I do think there is like a argument to be made that men do like what they can't have. Yeah, and they do like a chase and if you are meaner to them and they do kind of like that if you like ignore them a lot.

• 34:38Hannah Berner?

  So, my argument to that. Cool, play games, pretend you hate him. Pretend you hate whatever and and he'll, he'll, you'll get his attention or whatever. That's not a long, sustainable, healthy relationship.

• 34:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Certainly not.

• 34:53Hannah Berner?

  When you're in your early twenties, treat men like shit, ignore them, don't respond to their texts, let them chase you and then get eventually what's gonna happen is gonna happen, which if you are toxic together, you're toxic, which is what we I guess happened with.

• 35:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I do think though, like the man needs to be obsessed with you from the moment that he meets you. He can't grow to love you where women can grow to be more attracted to you and more into you, but I, if you're not obsessed with me in the first time we've met and you're not like immediately asking to hang out again, I'm not interested.

• 35:28Hannah Berner?

  A thousand percent, girls, write that down. Like literally write that down. If you at any point are looking and seeing if you have to change anything about yourself to make him like you more, get out.

• 35:40Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 35:41Hannah Berner?

  I mean, we've all been there because we're chameleons.

• 35:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I want you to like stalk me.

• 35:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I want you to be so obsessed with me that like you can't imagine not dating me.

• 35:55Hannah Berner?

  Can I tell an iconic story?

• 35:56Paige DeSorbo?

  That seems toxic, but I love it.

• 35:58Hannah Berner?

  Iconic story about my parents?

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Hannah Berner?

  My mom and dad meet on a blind date. And immediately, they're obsessed with each other. And he's, she's like, where are you going? And he's like, I am going out to Long Island for a family, like. Um, it was like Memorial Day, it's like a family party. Do you want to come with me? And like, that's insane if you're not attracted to the guy, you're like, you're crazy, but she's like, okay, so like, that night, she meets his entire family.

• 36:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Nothing is insane. Well, because you want to know what? If the guy says it's okay, then it's okay.

• 36:39Hannah Berner?

  Like, she was like,

• 36:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that's the society.

• 36:40Hannah Berner?

  He was like, help me pick out a gift for my sister and let's go. Like, he immedi- men are like, you're my wife. So then he, he gets back, they get back after the weekend and he's like, what are you doing tomorrow? And she's like, I have a date. Like, she was dating. She was single. And he's like, okay, I'll drive you to the date, break up with the guy, and then we go on a date. And she was like, okay, so he drove her to the date, let her walk in, tell the guy I'm seeing someone else, get back in the car with him and take her to dinner.

• 37:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my god.

• 37:20Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna cry. And they got engaged in six months and they're still like obsessed with each other.

• 37:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, Hannah, you got engaged in like six months?

• 37:27Hannah Berner?

  That's why, the only, you know, I'm not like a crazy risk taker, like, I'm not doing cocaine.

• 37:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:34Hannah Berner?

  In my head, I was like, the guy I meet, I'll know immediately, because that's what happened to my mom. So when Dez proposed after six months, I was like, good, if it was any longer, I would have to get out of this.

• 37:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, speaking of men, this whole pod, you see, everyone's really coming at Timothy Chalamet.

• 37:52Hannah Berner?

  Well, first of all,

• 37:53Paige DeSorbo?

  For two things, two things.

• 37:54Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:55Paige DeSorbo?

  One, he said that nobody cares about the ballet and, um,

• 38:00Hannah Berner?

  Opera.

• 38:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Opera. And then the third thing is, somebody, I forget where it was, I definitely had the frickin' video saved too. Um, someone asked him about like having children or something, and he said that like, something to the effect of like, if you choose not to have children, like, bleak, what's like your life? And the girls are going crazy. Can I say one thing before we dive into it?

• 38:26Hannah Berner?

  Before we digress, yes.

• 38:31Hannah Berner?

  You're like, how do we want to position this?

• 38:33Paige DeSorbo?

  So, I have so many thoughts. And let me just be a devil's advocate, because let me just truly say what's happening in my brain simultaneously.

• 38:42Hannah Berner?

  Okay, be honest.

• 38:43Paige DeSorbo?

  In, I'm gonna be so honest right now. In, on one hand, what Timothy Chalamet said about the opera and ballet is insane, because it's like the oldest art form ever. Like, opera's been around for like 500 fucking years.

• 38:59Hannah Berner?

  It's also Italian.

• 39:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, people really do fucking love the opera. So I do think that's crazy. But, has attendance to the opera and the ballet gone down in years? Well, yes, because there's so many other forms of entertainment. So is what he's saying kind of true? Like, people don't care about the opera and the ballet as much as they used to? Yes, but people don't care about movies as much as they used to either.

• 39:29Hannah Berner?

  But it wasn't his point kind of like, I want to be doing something that people want to see? And that rubbed me the wrong way, because I was like...

• 39:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't get a ticket to the Nutcracker in New York City if you don't book it months in advance before Christmas. You cannot get a ticket.

• 39:46Hannah Berner?

  Bigger picture, being an artist isn't about the applause. Being an artist is about loving what you do and expressing yourself creatively. He's basically like, "I do this because I can make millions of dollars and people like it." Where it's like, first of all, you went to LaGuardia High School, which is a performing arts school where everyone auditions with music, dance, art, or singing.

• 40:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Pretty sure his parents are...

• 40:14Hannah Berner?

  Playwrights or something.

• 40:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Something.

• 40:16Hannah Berner?

  I do think he's doing too much press. We've all been there. I've been there, where I've done way too many podcasts where I have nothing left to say, and I'm like, I've said every story about myself, and you just start saying crazy shit. Like, you're like, giving opinions on flowers. Like, I don't...

• 40:34Paige DeSorbo?

  If I had a nickel for every time I've called someone and been like, I'm over exposed.

• 40:39Hannah Berner?

  I, I have nothing left to say and you're like, who's even speaking right now? Like, I've never met this person. I do think he's over exposed and I don't think he wholeheartedly is passionate about his statement. Like, it's not like, he's not like fighting to the death to be like, fuck opera.

• 40:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, death to opera singers.

• 40:57Hannah Berner?

  But someone was like, also, you made a movie about ping pong, which isn't the most relevant sport.

• 41:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, when I saw the clip, which I thought the clip was actually really funny because no one's talking about how Matthew McConaughey was kind of trying to get him to shut the fuck up.

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  And if Matthew McConaughey is looking at you like, slow your roll.

• 41:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, you could hear him be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

• 41:19Hannah Berner?

  A rat, a rat, a rat, a rat.

• 41:22Paige DeSorbo?

  The thing that I thought of was, damn, if like, let's just pick like a random, like a random actress. If Margot Robbie sat in an interview and said, no one gives a fuck about the opera and the ballet. She would not just be talked about on podcasts with like random articles written. She'd be stoned.

• 41:41Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you're so right. They would Catherine Heagle her.

• 41:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, she'd be done.

• 41:46Hannah Berner?

  Chanel would like blacklist her.

• 41:50Paige DeSorbo?

  They would ruin her. Absolutely ruin her.

• 41:53Hannah Berner?

  The arts is how you got here. It's like being like, was Shakespeare that good? It's like, okay, well, we needed Shakespeare to get here. It's like, does anyone even understand Shakespeare? I mean, what he said was crazy, but it's also like, this man, his life is so weird right now. Like, he's in an echo chamber of everything he does. Everyone around him is like, yes, Timothy.

• 42:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, everyone's talking about him.

• 42:16Hannah Berner?

  And he's so famous and you kind of lose touch with reality and that's what we're seeing. And when, when, if I was a publicist, when I see my client is so fucking famous and so out of touch with reality, and it's not their fault, they're dealing with an abnormal human condition, I say maybe let's not do podcasts.

• 42:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  Maybe let's not do a Q and A about life when he's

• 42:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's sit this one out.

• 42:40Hannah Berner?

  When he's not in touch with life right now.

• 42:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And let me just say one other thing.

• 42:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 42:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think that men should talk about having a child ever. I don't think that they should ever have an opinion on having a child. Because you've literally contributed the least amount of what you need to contribute, contribute to make an actual baby. Like, the woman has to cook this baby in her body, inside of her body for nine months. If you're a woman that have, has chosen to live a child's free life, you've thought about living a child's free life ten times more and ten times harder than the woman next to you who thought about having a baby. My girlfriends that have gone back and forth with having children and not,

• 43:25Paige DeSorbo?

  have thought about it way more than my girlfriends who got married and had a baby within a year.

• 43:30Hannah Berner?

  And some people, it's not a decision. It's just you're unable to have it and it didn't work out.

• 43:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. Or it's like a socio-economic issue. They're like, where women are like, no, I can't bring a baby into this world.

• 43:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And

• 43:45Paige DeSorbo?

  So I think any men making any comments about like when a woman should have a baby, if a woman should have a baby, until you can have a baby, don't talk about it.

• 43:53Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. In my stand-up show, there's a portion where I talk about like if I should have kids or not, and I like to, you know, poll the audience, make a little group project. And I say like, who thinks I should and shouldn't have a kid? And I love talking to the women. And whenever a man jumps in with his opinion of whether or not I should have a kid, I go, I'm sorry, did your butthole and vagina rip into one open sore?

• 44:19Hannah Berner?

  Then I don't, no, thank you. I don't, I don't need your opinion on that. I'm sorry, have you, what? How are you giving an opinion?

• 44:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw this meme or something and it was like, the next time a man says he needs to have a child because of his legacy, make him name his great-great-grandfather.

• 44:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Honey, your legacy of what? Playing Fortnite in a swivel chair? Sweetie, come on.

• 44:49Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:34Paige DeSorbo?

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• 46:02Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.

• 46:46Hannah Berner?

  So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 46:57Paige DeSorbo?

  This is an emergency.

• 46:58Hannah Berner?

  Go, girl, go.

• 47:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:41Paige DeSorbo?

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• 48:24Paige DeSorbo?

  and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code GIGGLY. That's nutrafol.com, N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com, promo code GIGGLY. You guys know I love cereal. Okay, let's be honest, when does Wisp come up in your group chat? For me, it's UTI relief. If someone's uncomfortable, I say just use Wisp, and it's handled in hours, not days. It's genuinely great. But I realized I was treating Wisp like a resource just to get antibiotics for vaginal infections, and it's really so much more than that. Wisp is a complete health platform for women and their partners now trusted by over 2 million people nationwide. That's not a coincidence. It's because once people are there for one thing, they realize how much else is actually available to them, and they stream

• 49:09Paige DeSorbo?

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• 49:49Paige DeSorbo?

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• 50:07Hannah Berner?

  I've been on in a K-hole, another K-hole of family, I think it's familysearch.org. Now, let me just put an asterisk around this because I do think it's affiliated with like some religious organization.

• 50:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, God.

• 50:24Hannah Berner?

  And I may have like put my entire family in danger, but in my six hour trip to LA, the entire time I was on familysearch.org. The entire.

• 50:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Doing what?

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so you put, first you just put yourself in, you put your parents in and their birth and where it was. Then it starts pulling public records of like marriage certificates, um, census reports, and it finds their parents and then it recommends like, is this the right person? I went all the way to the 1400s in Sicily.

• 51:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I gotta do this.

• 51:04Hannah Berner?

  You like, I was so hooked.

• 51:05Paige DeSorbo?

  The fourteen hundreds.

• 51:07Hannah Berner?

  Babe, my, this is the funniest thing about my Sicilian side. These motherfuckers did not leave their block. They lived in the same town in Sicily.

• 51:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Because nothing bad ever happened in their bed.

• 51:18Hannah Berner?

  My dad's grandparents, Max Burner, May Burner, nothing after them. Yeah, they were Polish, Austrian, Russian. I can't find a single thing of that side. Meanwhile, the Italians are.

• 51:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I need to do mine because if we were there, like, what if, what if there were just like two girls that lived on the same block and they were like really funny and they were friends, but like they'd get stoned if they said any of the things they were like.

• 51:49Hannah Berner?

  I also.

• 51:50Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, maybe I don't want to make a fucking bread this Sunday. Did you ever think of that?

• 51:54Hannah Berner?

  These women were having babies. Like, it was like, and these names are like incredible, but they were all having like ten kids, but then like four of the ten kids.

• 52:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Would die.

• 52:05Hannah Berner?

  Would die. It would be like.

• 52:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because they had no money for food.

• 52:09Hannah Berner?

  And they would get a sniffle or something, but I would, oh my god, I'm pull, girl. These names.

• 52:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I need to do it.

• 52:17Hannah Berner?

  Nunzio.

• 52:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I love, I lowkey love that name.

• 52:22Hannah Berner?

  Nunzio, Giocinto.

• 52:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Nunzio is actually on my baby name list for a boy, but my mom was like, no.

• 52:31Hannah Berner?

  It's too Italian.

• 52:32Paige DeSorbo?

  It's too much.

• 52:34Hannah Berner?

  I love a girl named Vida. Vida.

• 52:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 52:38Hannah Berner?

  Vida Bruno. Um, also Erasmo, Erasmo Pippitone, shout out.

• 52:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, Erasmo Pippitone, whatever your brand it, you come out with or whatever, if you ever sell a product, regardless of what it is, that's the name of it.

• 52:53Hannah Berner?

  Vincenzo.

• 52:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Erasmo Pippitone.

• 52:55Hannah Berner?

  Vincenzo, make me a fucking Caprese salad right now.

• 53:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I always thought at some point in my life I would date a Vincenzo and I never did.

• 53:05Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I feel so, I'm so sorry.

• 53:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you.

• 53:07Hannah Berner?

  Um, I have a lot of Vincenzos and Vincenzas.

• 53:12Hannah Berner?

  These, I also like kind of, when it comes to like naming pets, kids, I kind of love pulling it from your ancestors and like keeping it in the family.

• 53:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you heard a name the other day and I saw your wheels turning, because you were like, hmm, could I name my daughter that?

• 53:30Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, well, okay, I like the idea of of names. Kind of all at Taylor Swift where like, it's a name that's unisex, so when she emails, people can't tell if she's a man or a woman. And I was telling that to one of my good friends Stuart Fullerton, who's an amazing comedian. And I was like, I love your name and people call you Stu. And when you email, people can't tell if you're a man or a woman. I think that's like really good. And she's like, no, everyone thinks I'm a gay man because I'm obviously using tons of exclamation points. She's like, no one thinks I'm like a tough dude.

• 54:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's so funny because I was just gonna say I love the name Ryan for a girl.

• 54:11Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I love the unisex names, but then also.

• 54:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Except honestly, the name Ryan is just like too Irish for me to ever use.

• 54:19Hannah Berner?

  No one will believe it.

• 54:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Truly, my whole family would be like, who the hell is Ryan?

• 54:23Hannah Berner?

  Also, you have to understand too that like, like Stuart's like, it's annoying to have to explain it all the time and I would hate for me to have like a fun little feminist moment. My daughter then has to like, explain herself. Because I had a fun idea, name idea for the rest of her life.

• 54:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Not to toot my own horn, but I think I have one of the best girl names in the game.

• 54:45Hannah Berner?

  I know, everyone's waiting.

• 54:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm saying my name Paige.

• 54:50Hannah Berner?

  It's really good.

• 54:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Fuck my daughter, we don't know her yet.

• 54:52Hannah Berner?

  You can't go wrong with Paige.

• 54:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Paige is so, it just, I feel like truly encapsulates who I am as a human and it's extremely feminine and girly, but it's also like one syllable, there's no nonsense. It's Paige.

• 55:06Hannah Berner?

  Feel the exact opposite, I hate my name.

• 55:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 55:08Hannah Berner?

  It's so soft, no one can hear when I say it. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. It's not me. I'm an Amber. That's what it should have been. Amber or Lucy?

• 55:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I think you're more Lucy than you are Amber. Amber gives like, you're, Amber gives such tough girl vibes. Like Amber will fuck you up.

• 55:30Hannah Berner?

  See, that's who I think I am. That's my Scorpio side.

• 55:33Paige DeSorbo?

  But you're so, you're actually

• 55:35Hannah Berner?

  I'm Lucy.

• 55:36Paige DeSorbo?

  So nice.

• 55:37Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm such a Lucy.

• 55:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You're so sweet.

• 55:39Hannah Berner?

  I, my, it's Hannah Lucy is my name. I tried to change it and my mom was like, uh, no.

• 55:45Paige DeSorbo?

  You had to do that in college, babe. You're too late. You could have rebranded in college as Lucy.

• 55:50Hannah Berner?

  I almost did.

• 55:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:53Hannah Berner?

  If I become a pop star, DJ Loose. Ooh, DJ Loose.

• 55:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You wanna know what? Actually, that's a really good. You wanna know what? Women stay pivoting. So I'm not gonna even say that you might not be a pop star because that someday you might be.

• 56:08Hannah Berner?

  Uh, well, you know, one thing about me and Paige, we love surprising the gigglers. Um, I also, this is a theory I have. I think Charli XCX, cuz her brat was so fucking good, but also like, kind of just auto-tuned. I think it's inspired everyone to get into music. Like Hilary Duff's like, I can do that. Like, I feel like everyone's inspired by Charli XCX because, like, and even like Lily Allen, she's like, let's go.

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Which we both like randomly without telling each other, watched the Charli XCX movie. I thought it was like the only person on the planet to like see it on Amazon Prime.

• 56:48Hannah Berner?

  Well, I paid twenty dollars when I was on Prime. That's really embarrassing. I don't wanna tell people about that.

• 56:52Paige DeSorbo?

  So did I. I was like, rent immediately. I liked it. Like, I thought it, it gave me the vibe of that show, I Love LA.

• 57:01Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so I liked it, but I think it didn't know if it was a comedy or not. And then I also think if you're not in that world.

• 57:13Hannah Berner?

  It's not relatable.

• 57:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Except the thought that I had while I was watching it was she was outside of the box in terms of she like, I'm gonna do a movie about my tour without doing a documentary about the tour. And it's like, this will be the.

• 57:29Hannah Berner?

  I actually really enjoyed it. I could understand some of the critics. I can understand some of the critics of it.

• 57:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I think. And I thought Kylie Jenner was so good.

• 57:38Hannah Berner?

  Kylie Jenner was incredible in it.

• 57:40Paige DeSorbo?

  She was incredible when she was like, it's not funny. No, it's actually not funny.

• 57:44Hannah Berner?

  You know what it is? I think the people wanted her to go full comedy or no comedy and it was kind of this in between, but again, Charli XCX, you can't not look at her. You can't not watch her. And she's British, so she's inherently more interesting.

• 57:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Do you think that British people think that? No. I don't know why I even ask that.

• 58:03Hannah Berner?

  People are like, literally are like, they're not even speaking English.

• 58:08Hannah Berner?

  They're like, they butchered our language. That's what they think. That's what they think about Timothy Chamey.

• 58:13Paige DeSorbo?

  If I was British, I would have such a superiority complex.

• 58:17Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's why I would, when I dated British Dave, he would be like, you guys ruined all the words. Like you add, you add, like you say sidewalk, it's so obvious. Like, of course you're walking on the side, like it's that.

• 58:31Paige DeSorbo?

  What do they call it?

• 58:32Hannah Berner?

  They call it something like simpler. They call it like, actually, I forget. I don't, I didn't listen to him when he was talking. But he was like, you guys butchered the language.

• 58:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I would feel so much better. I'd be like, you guys literally like had to create another country.

• 58:46Hannah Berner?

  Do you know that the British still like technically run Canada? Like they don't run it, but they're like in charge.

• 58:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 58:53Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I've been traveling a lot.

• 58:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I actually didn't know that about the Brits.

• 58:58Hannah Berner?

  Can I tell you about this weekend in Indian Wells? Like we started the pod, cause something really crazy happened.

• 59:06Hannah Berner?

  So I'm like obsessed with the tennis channel.

• 59:09Hannah Berner?

  So I invited like all the tennis channel hosts to come to my suite. And I met them all and I was like.

• 59:16Hannah Berner?

  But also like in my head.

• 59:17Paige DeSorbo?

  You were socialized.

• 59:18Hannah Berner?

  I'm a correspondent, like. Right now, if you were like Hannah, you have to do a. You have to call a match for Indian Wells, I'd be like a hundred percent and I'm over prepared for it. Like in my head, I'm a sports broadcaster.

• 59:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:33Hannah Berner?

  And one of the girls Danny was like, come to the tennis channel desk. So I go up to the broadcast and I'm like hanging out on the desk, having so much fun, living my life. So then. They were like, let's do a segment for tennis channel. And this girl Coco Vandeweghe.

• 59:51Hannah Berner?

  She was like, let's hit. Now Coco Vandeweghe. Is um played professionally is amazing. Coco Vandeweghe and I have lore.

• 1:00:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. I just love the name Coco Vandeweghe like.

• 1:00:06Hannah Berner?

  She's iconic.

• 1:00:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I have to say it 10 times Coco Vandeweghe.

• 1:00:10Hannah Berner?

  And she hurt grandpa, I think was like a amazing. Football player named Kiki Vandeweghe, great name as well.

• 1:00:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Great name.

• 1:00:18Hannah Berner?

  Great family of great names and athletes.

• 1:00:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 1:00:20Hannah Berner?

  She's by the way like.

• 1:00:21Paige DeSorbo?

  So fun when you meet a family of great names.

• 1:00:24Hannah Berner?

  I played her when I was 14 years old.

• 1:00:28Hannah Berner?

  And she's a big hitter and I'm more like crafty, whatever. I get up 5'2". And she's fuming like. Off her rocker. Breaks her racket. And I'm like, wow, this, she's losing her mind, I'm gonna get this set. An umpire comes, tells her, you get a point penalty. Like basically a slap on the wrist and she calms down and ends up coming back and beats me.

• 1:00:57Hannah Berner?

  And I was heartbroken after that match, never forgot it.

• 1:01:01Hannah Berner?

  And I reached out to her, I said. You know, we played each other and she was like, I don't remember you.

• 1:01:08Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, that actually ruined my life. So then, we're hitting, and it was like this incredible like full circle moment, cuz she just retired. I'm obviously retired, and we're laughing on the court, hitting with each other, and we had like, it was just this beautiful full circle moment of two girls who in our fourteen, when we were fourteen, were in such an intense scary like, angry phase.

• 1:01:35Paige DeSorbo?

  This is make or break, this is.

• 1:01:36Hannah Berner?

  Life or death, like crying, like it was chaos, and then the two of us were able to just laugh and hit as two just like, successful women in their thirties, even though we went about it differently, we like found each other again and, it was just a beautiful International Women's Day moment. And I'm so proud of her, she's like killing it as a journalist, she's such a natural, and she's so multifaceted, and I, all these girls I hated. Like I hated all of them in the juniors, like we all hated each other. It wasn't a team, it was me versus you, and, and I'm now friends with so many of these girls I played in juniors where we all actually feel like kinda trauma bonded,

• 1:02:17Hannah Berner?

  cuz we understand each other, and so many of these girls have gone on to do so many amazing things, so anyway, I just.

• 1:02:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a thing the other day, and it was like, why do women hate each other, starting at such a young age? Like no, why do girls automatically feel so competitive with each other? And some, someone said, because there's just a finite amount of girls that essentially get picked. So like, and not in a marriage way, like in a work way. Really in every facet of our lives, because there's so many men around, but there's only gonna be a couple women in that field. And so it's kind of like, even in school, it's like, okay, well, only a couple girls are gonna win the spelling bee or something. So it's like you automatically are so competitive with each other, and I think that it's so important for our generation.

• 1:03:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw this other thing that it was like, if you're sitting at a table, you better make sure there's another woman there that you helped like, get there.

• 1:03:16Hannah Berner?

  Ooh, I love that so much, because in standup comedy, if you guys look at any lineup, I'll say New York City, LA, ever, it's always four men, one woman. Because they booked the men and then they go, shoot, we need a woman. So when you're a woman in stand up, you're like, oh shit, they picked her, not me as the woman in the lineup. And it's a man, a man's world. And that's why I just wanted to shout out of the comedy podcast, of the top 10 comedy podcasts, the women we are representing. We got Amy, like we have there, if you look in the top 10, the women are there and I'm proud of us because we, like, we didn't get picked.

• 1:03:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Some girl posted, she was like, I just, it was my first day of law school and my class is 70% women.

• 1:04:05Hannah Berner?

  Well, this is the problem. They've angered us and now we've gone too hard and now they're upset.

• 1:04:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And now you've made us mad.

• 1:04:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And now we have to take your job, fuck your dad and fire you. Sorry, sorry about it.

• 1:04:21Hannah Berner?

  We went from zero to 100 real quick.

• 1:04:23Paige DeSorbo?

  We really did. We went to like empowering women and then we were like, I'll have sex with your dad.

• 1:04:29Hannah Berner?

  Side note, I did this Zoom meeting, which as an entrepreneur, I love a little corporate Zoom. I love when I'm doing something with like a company and they're like, can we hop on a Zoom with the company? And I'm like, yes. And I'm sitting there, it was all women at this company. Now, the cutest thing about this Zoom is while we're doing the Zoom, they're all in the comments. So like I would be speaking and all the girls are in the comments being like, yes. And like, and like tagging me up being like, me too, girl. And I was like, is this normal in like a Zoom corporate call that all the girls are in the comments?

• 1:05:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I always get really confused when people do that.

• 1:05:10Hannah Berner?

  It's like, they don't want to interrupt you, but they want to let. They want to let you, these girls were having so much fun in the comments. And then they were like saying inside giggler jokes, like someone was like, no notes. This is the most fun corporate call. But if there were men in it, I feel like no one's writing in the comments. That would be like creepy.

• 1:05:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, every time I'm on a Zoom now and there's like a man, I like kind of call it out because that that never happens with us because we do, we do kind of primarily work with all women, which let me just say one thing. As someone who has worked a couple of different jobs and worked with like all different types of people. There have been times in my life where I'm like, oh, fuck yeah. Thank God the boss is a woman. Like this is gonna be so much more comfortable. And yes, in certain parts it is. Like, do I think she's gonna hit on me and get mad when I say no? No. But I've had some female bosses where I'm like, holy shit. You might be one of the worst people I've ever met in my goddamn life and I actually rather

• 1:06:13Paige DeSorbo?

  be getting annoyed with a man than you right now because

• 1:06:17Hannah Berner?

  Well, cuz they're smarter sometimes.

• 1:06:18Paige DeSorbo?

  To protect me.

• 1:06:19Hannah Berner?

  Well, hurt people, not to defend her, but hurt people hurt people. And sometimes when like you've been abused and when you know how hard it was for you to get there. It goes back to what you were saying that like only so many women can get picked. So it becomes a a girly girl. Girly girl.

• 1:06:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't walk in the office and cut a bob and not say anything to me when I had a bob.

• 1:06:41Hannah Berner?

  Okay, that is so you. That is so.

• 1:06:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so. Okay, so you do actually like me because now you have a bob.

• 1:06:49Hannah Berner?

  There's room for more than one bob in the room.

• 1:06:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally. There's.

• 1:06:52Hannah Berner?

  Wait, but we're figuring something out. We need.

• 1:06:56Paige DeSorbo?

  There's room for more than one bob. That's the thing.

• 1:06:58Hannah Berner?

  Once there is room for more than one bob, then people stop like being mean to each other. But when you think there's only room for one bob.

• 1:07:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You could have just said to me, I love your bob. I'm thinking about getting a bob. And we would have had that moment rather than you coming in the next day miraculously having a bob and never saying anything to me.

• 1:07:17Hannah Berner?

  You just want credit where credit's due.

• 1:07:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not even that. It's just like, sometimes you do get excited to work with other females and you're like, I hate the, I hate that.

• 1:07:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, actually, when you said that, I was like, that was sexist.

• 1:07:27Paige DeSorbo?

  That was disgusting.

• 1:07:29Hannah Berner?

  I got upset. I was like, oh.

• 1:07:30Paige DeSorbo?

  That was actually really vile. You do get excited that like you're gonna work with other women. And I will say like 80% of the time, it is easier and it is better and things happen better. But there are times where you're like, you don't have to be so mean to me? Because it's only us here. Like, we need to band together.

• 1:07:49Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's giving like Tyra Banks, hurt people, hurt people. But I do think like, one thing I loved about tennis was it's the one sport where the women were like more famous than the men. Like Serena, Sharapova, Monica Seles, like Steffi Graf, like these, you can't argue how good they are. And me and Madison were playing tennis and all these men were like signing up to try to hit with us. And like, I don't care what gender you are, you can't beat us. Like, it's not like a, well, I liked his, his jokes were funny. No, I kicked your ass in the sport. Like, that's just rules. And it was, it was, no, it's so empowering. And, but also the funniest thing is Lululemon. They were like, Hannah, we want you to have fun, go play tennis.

• 1:08:34Hannah Berner?

  It's 90 degrees, by the way. And not to brag, my ass is out of shape. I've been on a plane since September. Occasional Pilates isn't gonna do it. And even if I was in shape at 90 degrees playing tennis, I would be tired. So like 15 minutes in, I'm like, water break. And the Lululemon girl's like, do not push yourself, you don't have to win. This isn't, like, just have fun. And I'm like, we're dealing with a lot of demons right now. You can't just say, she literally was like, Hannah, you don't have to win this. I'm like, then don't make it a competition.

• 1:09:11Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough. It's so hard. Life is hard.

• 1:09:13Hannah Berner?

  So I also like, I almost called a medic. I kept like pretending to fall down so I could lay down. I was like coughing.

• 1:09:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I just would have, I would just would have left, Hannah. You have free will.

• 1:09:23Hannah Berner?

  What would Paige do? No, I.

• 1:09:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I wouldn't leave.

• 1:09:25Hannah Berner?

  I pushed myself be, like, to the point where like, my throat was bleeding. Like, I was like.

• 1:09:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Anytime there's something I don't want to do, or someone I don't want to be around, or just like something I don't like, I remember, oh, I'm an adult and I'm leaving. Bye.

• 1:09:40Hannah Berner?

  No, my makeup artist literally pulled me aside and took a fan and was like, are you like gonna faint right now?

• 1:09:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, that's how I felt when I did Love Island. I was like, actually, I'm leaving. I don't care. Bye.

• 1:09:51Hannah Berner?

  Which is actually so empowering, but to me, I'm like, they finally gave a woman a chance and she's gonna, she's gonna blackout on a Tuesday.

• 1:09:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna croak. No, that's how I felt doing Love Island. I was like, I finally get my, I just like, I'm really excited. And I was like, I'm going to my bed. See ya. This was fun. Gotta go.

• 1:10:09Hannah Berner?

  You're so right. It's called boundaries. Also, I just have to say. I've been doing this new thing with my Dunkin' Ice Latte, where I've been putting a shot of raspberry.

• 1:10:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually downed a ham and cheese croissant from Dunkin' before we did this, and I'd never had it, and it was so fucking good.

• 1:10:23Hannah Berner?

  What refresher are you drinking?

• 1:10:26Hannah Berner?

  You finished it.

• 1:10:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I was drinking the strawberry dragon fruit.

• 1:10:29Hannah Berner?

  Thanks so much to Dunkin' for partnering with us for the episode, and we love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling. See you on Friday, bitches.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

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• 1:11:11Speaker 04

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• 1:11:29Speaker 05

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