Giggling about donkey smiles, silver spoons, and shoe horns

Paige has come back to life unlike Hannah's smile. subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hannah Berner?

  This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where Cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with Cars.com. Where to next?

• 0:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces. And let's just say, these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.

• 1:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com. This episode is brought to you by Rothies. I'm currently obsessed with my Rothies clogs. I've been seeing them everywhere lately: friends, celebs, airports. I got a pair a couple of years ago and honestly, I wear them in every airport all the time. They're luxe, stylish, and so comfortable. They've sold out more than 10 times, and once you slip them on, you'll get it. They're unbelievably soft, they go with everything, they're machine washable, and they somehow make wearing sweats look intentional. They really are that good. Snag a pair at Rothies.com, you'll never take them off. That's Rothies.com.

• 2:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my gallivanting gigglers.

• 2:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Great.

• 2:30Hannah Berner?

  Well, we're happy because Paige's E. coli has ran through her body.

• 2:35Hannah Berner?

  What is E. coli? I thought you had to like bite a cow in the ass to get E. coli.

• 2:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I've lived seven lives since I freaking met you. Okay, let me just start from the very beginning, okay? Let me just do like a full story time. So we get like the true details happening. Sunday night, I go out to dinner, I have some meatballs, okay? Monday, we record the pod.

• 3:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 3:05Paige DeSorbo?

  My Monday evening, your Monday morning, okay?

• 3:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm feeling like a little queasy, but not enough to not do Giggly Squad. Like, I was like, I can do Giggly Squad. Right when we ended Giggly Squad, it was like my body was like, you fulfilled your obligation. We now are shutting down, okay? I've truly been in the same spot since you guys left me.

• 3:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Been right here. I never moved, I never.

• 3:36Hannah Berner?

  Then I get a picture sent to me of you attached to an IV that looked like it was attached to a Pellegrino bottle. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on in Italy right now?

• 3:46Paige DeSorbo?

  So Monday night, I'm puking my brains out all night. I'm, I'm shitting myself. Hannah, I'm sitting on the toilet, shitting. I'm bending over and puking in the bidet, okay? I, it was, I, in my head, I was like, so convenient. This is the most convenient thing I've actually ever encountered in my life. Thank God I own a pajama brand because the amount of pajamas I went through.

• 4:15Hannah Berner?

  Sweating through it?

• 4:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I shit myself. No, I shit myself.

• 4:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I had to throw my pajama pants away. I go, I own the company. Throw them out. Throw them out. And it wasn't like, because I couldn't get to the bathroom. It was like, I was going to throw up and then all of a sudden I started.

• 4:38Hannah Berner?

  Every orifice was exploding.

• 4:41Paige DeSorbo?

  So I wake up Tuesday morning and I'm just like, I think I've died. I think I died and I'm, I'm on my way to heaven. I call a doctor, doctor comes, I tell him, well, actually my brother's girlfriend Amanda, thank fucking god she's here because she's just like been translating everything because she speaks like fluent.

• 5:01Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say, how do you say, um, puke out of the mouth?

• 5:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, Amanda, can you tell him, uh, it was like a lime green?

• 5:13Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so you, you're so close with her right now.

• 5:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Me and Amanda are like this, okay? So, so the doctor comes and everyone in Italy, it's just like so funny. First of all, there's no HIPAA in Italy. The whole hotel knew I was sick.

• 5:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone knew.

• 5:34Hannah Berner?

  Well, they could hear it.

• 5:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone was going, everyone was going up to my parents, how is she? Is she okay? One of the waiters came in, like, like I had ordered room service and I was like up and he goes, you're up from bed. Oh my god, you're up. I was like.

• 5:48Hannah Berner?

  One thing about Italians is they're gonna gossip.

• 5:50Paige DeSorbo?

  They're gonna talk. No, they're gonna talk about it.

• 5:53Hannah Berner?

  Also, because they want to know why you're not eating their food. Like, that's the drama.

• 6:00Paige DeSorbo?

  So I say, I think I ate a meatball that wasn't cooked. No. The doctor was like, impossible.

• 6:08Hannah Berner?

  Impossible. Never been done before in Italy.

• 6:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, there was not the food.

• 6:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, okay, it might have been the food. He was like, no, it wasn't. He writes me a prescription to get like an IV and then he wrote me a prescription for-

• 6:25Hannah Berner?

  Girl is insane, delusional, making up things.

• 6:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Hysteria needs a lobotomy.

• 6:33Hannah Berner?

  I love that you came for the meatball and they go, get her out.

• 6:37Paige DeSorbo?

  They were like, what? No. He actually made a face like, you're stupid. Like, no, it wasn't the food. Maybe it was your stomach. How about you look inside? Cause it wasn't us. And I was like, okay, I mean, it is a hundred degrees here. I highly doubt they're storing the, all the meat products correctly. But who am I? Okay. I digress.

• 7:02Hannah Berner?

  But a woman in STEM.

• 7:03Paige DeSorbo?

  So then the nurse comes, okay. Just the loveliest woman on the planet, but I'm laying there and I'm like, this is some makeshift IV if I've ever seen it. She's like, I need, I need a hanger. I go, for what?

• 7:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally like-

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  Whenever a nurse says, I need a hanger, get the fuck out of there.

• 7:27Paige DeSorbo?

  So then she like hangs it up on the thing. And then I was like, obviously nervous for her to put the needle in. Cause I'm like, wait, what if she's not, she was the best nurse I've ever had put a needle in my arm ever. I take down the IV. I'm like, I'm like, okay. But I'm like fully incapacitated, like all of Tuesday. I'm like dead. Next day, Wednesday, I have her come do another IV because like the biggest death was the dehydration. Then, on my like fourth round of broth and rice from room service, one of the waiters says, talk about gossip. One of the waiter goes, the whole hotel, sick, vomit.

• 8:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, everyone in the hotel is vomiting? He goes, on the first floor, there's a couple of kids that had it. And I go, what?

• 8:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally, I felt, because on the last pod, it was like, I have baby fever. The universe was like, bitch, you thought.

• 8:29Hannah Berner?

  Not yet.

• 8:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you don't. No, actually, you don't.

• 8:32Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so the doctor was right. It wasn't the meatball.

• 8:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, it wasn't the meatball. It, I had like a legit stomach virus.

• 8:40Hannah Berner?

  Kids get everyone sick.

• 8:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I literally.

• 8:44Hannah Berner?

  You cared so much about trying to eat everything in Italy and we were all rooting for you. So the fact that this happened, like.

• 8:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't had cheese in four days.

• 8:53Hannah Berner?

  No, like, you don't deserve that. You don't deserve that.

• 8:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't had cappuccino.

• 9:00Hannah Berner?

  Not even a prosciutto.

• 9:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, nothing. I've literally, last night I went out to dinner and I was like, I'm so sorry, but can I just have pasta and butter? And he was like, um, yes, I guess.

• 9:16Hannah Berner?

  Also, you were posting all your outfit videos. You were so happy and then you just went silent.

• 9:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And then like, then like my Scorpio brain, like, I'm literally knee deep in the toilet, like vomiting. And I'm like, someone put a goddamn hex on me. Like, someone literally put a spell on me.

• 9:35Hannah Berner?

  You're going through your Rolodex of people that are on your shit list.

• 9:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Who could it have been? But joke's on them because I'm so snatched. I feel great.

• 9:45Hannah Berner?

  You're hydrated.

• 9:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm hydrated. I look better than ever and no, now I'm really taking on the world, but I haven't had any gelato. I can't believe I haven't eaten. This is the longest I've ever gone without cheese, I think, my whole life.

• 10:00Hannah Berner?

  And it's like, and my body's finally functioning.

• 10:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I feel great. I, this is the first day that I'm literally out of bed. Like, I went to breakfast and went to the pool.

• 10:11Hannah Berner?

  I was worried that like, I was gonna have to navigate somehow doing an episode with my fucking flat ass smile. Um, without you, but everything worked out.

• 10:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Leave you like that.

• 10:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you, we would just do live from the toilet. It's Paige Justorbo, Saturday night.

• 10:29Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna have you send me voice notes of you in the bathroom. You know, that's the darkest time of your life when you're like alone vomiting. That's when you see God, I think.

• 10:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I, I literally said, this is how people in other countries die. They get a parasite of some weird shit and then they die. I mean, it was like 5 a.m. I think like Tuesday morning and I was like, can you get my mom?

• 10:53Hannah Berner?

  Can you get my affairs in order?

• 10:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Can you please call my mom? And so my mom had to come to my room. And my mom, like typical my mother, she goes, well, you throw up so dramatically. She's like, you throw your whole body into it. She's like, I've thrown up three times in my life. Like, you're so annoying.

• 11:18Hannah Berner?

  She goes, have you ever thought about not doing that? Stop.

• 11:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she was like, seriously, just throw up like a normal person. My stomach muscles are so sore from legitimately like contracting to like.

• 11:31Hannah Berner?

  You know, maybe you had an exorcism.

• 11:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, honestly, I was like, okay, clean out all the toxins and the demons and whatever I've been holding on to. Cut it out. I'm truly, I truly, there's nothing left in me.

• 11:46Hannah Berner?

  You're a blank slate.

• 11:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I got nervous because I was like, am I like at this point pooping out my organs? Because there's just no way. There's no way.

• 11:54Hannah Berner?

  What's coming out at this point?

• 11:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Every hour on the hour, I was throwing up and going to the bathroom.

• 12:00Hannah Berner?

  Were you like left to fend for yourself for most of this? Or was there always someone like patting your rack?

• 12:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, my whole family, it was as if I was literally dying. Like there were even people in the hallway when my parents were like going to breakfast, like, how is she? Like the whole, my whole floor now. Everybody knew about it.

• 12:22Hannah Berner?

  They had yellow tape all around your door.

• 12:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I went to breakfast this morning and they were like, oh my god, like, sit down, like, we're so happy to see you. I was like, does everyone know?

• 12:31Hannah Berner?

  But you love the attention a little. You're like, it's me.

• 12:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I did.

• 12:35Hannah Berner?

  I'm the girl everyone's been talking about. It's hard to be the it girl of this hotel.

• 12:40Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, there was a part of me that was like, I feel like the universe was like, you know what? I've never stayed in bed on a vacation and I feel like this vacation is so long that I, it was actually nice to just like, I couldn't go out and do anything. So like, I've never just enjoyed a hotel room the way I did the past four days.

• 13:00Hannah Berner?

  And enjoy is a strong word, but.

• 13:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Strong word.

• 13:04Hannah Berner?

  She's like, I saw every corner of the room. The room was spinning at one point.

• 13:11Hannah Berner?

  It's so funny, because I'm also living in a hotel, like, what's the Eloise? I feel like Eloise.

• 13:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:18Hannah Berner?

  Where like, everyone knows me now. I go down, I'm like, you know my order, the usual.

• 13:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Some of the best, like, chicken broth and rice I've ever had in my life.

• 13:28Hannah Berner?

  Well, they probably use orzo.

• 13:32Hannah Berner?

  That was so Italian. When you say orzo, you have to use your wrist.

• 13:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, no, they use what they use for risotto. So it's not like.

• 13:40Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 13:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Is that orzo?

• 13:41Hannah Berner?

  Kind of.

• 13:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, kind of. It's not like your classic jasmine rice, you know?

• 13:47Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 13:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I do love.

• 13:49Hannah Berner?

  Well.

• 13:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, hi, how are you?

• 13:52Hannah Berner?

  Good. You know, divas have been going down. Um, my smile update. This is gonna sound crazy, and if you're watching the YouTube, I can feel like a millimeter of the edges. Like, it's so embarrassing, but like, okay, I'm gonna try to do it.

• 14:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I see it. No, I see it and I'm not gaslighting you.

• 14:15Hannah Berner?

  Okay, it's literally huge for me. But when I tell you, if you just watch that, you're like, it's not good. It's not good.

• 14:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, you're gonna go through phases.

• 14:27Hannah Berner?

  The good thing is, I feel like I can talk. Like, there were a couple of episodes of Giggly Squad, I was like, I sound like I have a dick in my mouth.

• 14:37Hannah Berner?

  Take the dick out of your mouth.

• 14:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Hey, do me a favor, okay? Take the dick out of your mouth. That's an amazing insult. Hey, do me a quick favor for a second. Take the dick out of your mouth and talk to me like an adult.

• 14:54Hannah Berner?

  You love that.

• 14:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm saying that, I love.

• 14:57Hannah Berner?

  You got jacked up on that. You go, add that to the repertoire.

• 15:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's an idea, take that dick out of your mouth.

• 15:05Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's my question, because you're not doing reality TV right now. Where are you putting all your good insults? Because I feel like, like, where are we putting it to your brother?

• 15:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you so much for asking.

• 15:19Hannah Berner?

  Because I know you have a side of you that's like, we need to let this out in an artistic form.

• 15:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, one of the most amazing things about going on a vacation, especially with your sibling and their significant others and your significant other, is they can see what your sibling dynamic is. And Gary said something so heinously mean to me the other day, to the point where I don't even remember what it was, because I started laughing hysterically. And his girlfriend was like, Gary, that was so mean. And he was like, that's her love language. She loved it. Look how she's laughing.

• 15:56Hannah Berner?

  She's so happy.

• 15:57Paige DeSorbo?

  So a lot of my insults have been going about people, but just to my mom and dad.

• 16:03Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, okay.

• 16:04Paige DeSorbo?

  And when my dad says, whoa Paige.

• 16:12Paige DeSorbo?

  That was harsh. That's when I know I have to really rein it in, because he's like psychopath final boss. And he doesn't like the word cunt. So if I throw in like, and that fucking cunt, he goes, no.

• 16:26Hannah Berner?

  He goes, that's where, that's where I put the foot down.

• 16:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's where he draws the line.

• 16:31Hannah Berner?

  See, I explained to my parents that culturally in England, it's like a filler word, and they've gotten over that. But also, I'm not throwing around cunt all the time. Only when

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Do it once in a while, it's very therapeutic.

• 16:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it hits better when you like, save it for important times. Um, oh my god, it's so funny with the brothers. I also think peo- talking shit about people, there's nothing that bonds you more with your brother's significant other than talking shit about your brother. And I know like, that sounds fucked up, but like, me sitting in a car with my brother's wife, being like, you know how he does that? And her agreeing, it's like, the best feeling in the world. And it's true love, like, it's true family connection.

• 17:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I have this running joke with Amanda that like, when they first started dating, I like pulled her aside and I was like, get out. You can get out, right?

• 17:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, run.

• 17:25Hannah Berner?

  Do you ever root for her? Like, root for her while she's fighting with him? Like, you're like, come on, girl?

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally, last night, he like, said something to her, and I like, looked at him, and I was like, what the fuck did you just say to her? Like, I, like, no, now, it's kind of crazy because legally, I've had to be on his side for thirty-three years. And now, I, I, I'm not, I'm on her side. And like, on vacation, like, sometimes he'll say things to her that like, he would say to me, and she'll be like, I'm not your sister. And he's like, right, yeah, I can't say that to you.

• 17:59Hannah Berner?

  You could talk to her like that, don't talk to me like that, period.

• 18:04Hannah Berner?

  I've been reading the YouTube comments. The comments are so funny, because I've been posting updates on Instagram with my smile, and it's people being like, oh my god, it looks better. Like, I'm like, day twenty-seven, everyone's like, it looks better. And then the next comment will be like, it's really, really, really bad. And then the next one will be like, day thirty, it'll come back. Like, it's so funny seeing everyone's different reactions to it, but overall, everyone's laughing. But one girl sent the nicest message. And she basically was like, Hannah, um, seeing you on last Giggly Squad episode, stop covering your mouth and just like, letting it go, made me feel, it was like empowering, it made me feel more confident about my own insecurities. Like, basically, like, if you could own

• 18:49Hannah Berner?

  being that fucked up, and like, normalizing it, I could own my shit. And I was like, okay, if that's what I bring to this planet, that's what I bring. But now, look at me, I'm like, this is me now, bitch. Take it or leave it.

• 19:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, this is, you know, wait, the photo you posted of you and Dez, and then you were like, wait, why is my smile?

• 19:08Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so there's a Dez's special for international gigglers and whatever. It's on YouTube right now, so you should watch it on YouTube. So I posted to promote it and I took a wedding photo. And he's mid-sentence of something, so his mouth looks like, yeah. Um, literally my smile.

• 19:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was exactly your smile.

• 19:32Hannah Berner?

  He calls it my snarl.

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  How is the show going?

• 19:35Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god.

• 19:35Paige DeSorbo?

  How is Canada? You're like, you're Canadian.

• 19:38Hannah Berner?

  I'm so fully Canadian. I've also been like such a foodie. I've gone to a bunch of different restaurants because Dez came to visit.

• 19:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I was gonna say with who?

• 19:49Hannah Berner?

  No. When I'm alone, I get so scared. Like, I won't even go to the pool. Like, I'm so scared. But, um.

• 19:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, really?

• 19:56Hannah Berner?

  Look, even like shopping, I don't like shopping alone because like you walk in and it's just like, also with my smile, it's honestly added to my social anxiety because I'm like, I don't want to disappoint people. Like, you walk and greeting really gets me anxious right now. Actually, like, I was very depressed for like two weeks. Like, I wasn't even calling Grace. I know.

• 20:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 20:19Hannah Berner?

  Because I was like, I don't want to bring negative energy to her.

• 20:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want to burden people with my face.

• 20:24Hannah Berner?

  No, actually, you'd be surprised how many like friends I have that I just didn't want to tell because I didn't want to ruin their day.

• 20:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's really considerate of you, but you wouldn't be ruining anyone's day.

• 20:36Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 20:36Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to let it out. You have to, this is a perfect example of depression. You have to get it out.

• 20:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you can't just sit with it like a secret. It gets stronger when you keep it in.

• 20:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you have to tell everyone.

• 20:49Hannah Berner?

  But you know, the show, I can't wait for the show to come out. I don't know when it's coming out, but it's really a great show and like production's been so cool with me.

• 21:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:01Hannah Berner?

  And we've like really leaned into this character, but also a lot of, now I'm like obsessed with people's smile. Like, I watch something and I'm like, that person doesn't smile a lot. I'm like, oh, my god, that person has a beautiful smile. Like, literally yesterday, this girl was like doing something, she's like smiling in front of me. I was like, are you trying to hurt my feelings? I was like, team, no smiling and making eye contact with me. Cause it ruins my fucking day.

• 21:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's a lesson in being grateful because that's how I feel about like being able to eat cheese right now. I'm like, remember last week when I was just chowing down on creams and different milks? And frozen milks and different aged palms? Like that was so, that was so nice, wasn't it? And like every time I go to my family, like maybe I'll just try a little cheese. They're all at the same time like, no.

• 21:55Hannah Berner?

  But that makes me wanna be naughty and do it. That makes me wanna take it back to my room and just be like, they don't know I'm gonna fucking eat this shit.

• 22:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, last night I got back to my room and my brother texted me and he was like, I got, I ordered two pizzas. And I was like.

• 22:08Hannah Berner?

  Oh, he's literally the devil on your shoulder. Gary's like, wanna get crazy tonight? I won't tell anybody.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Such an older brother. He's like, wants to stuff me full of cheese.

• 22:25Hannah Berner?

  It's like, you're his Barbie doll that just wants to put Sharpie all over. Burn it.

• 22:33Paige DeSorbo?

  The other day, okay, so the way like our rooms are set up, like we're three in a row. Like my parents, me, then Gary. And like the balcony is like low enough that like if you stood on a chair, you can see over. But you have to like get up on a chair. So every time I go out on my balcony and my dad hears me, he jumps up on a chair and like looks over at me. Well, the other day when I was really sick, I needed them to come in and like change my sheets because I was just like disgusting. So I went and I sat, but I couldn't go anywhere. So I like just went and sat out on the balcony while they were like cleaning my room.

• 23:13Paige DeSorbo?

  And the woman had come outside because she was wiping down the like sliding glass door. And she doesn't.

• 23:21Hannah Berner?

  It got on the sliding glass door.

• 23:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she was just, no.

• 23:27Hannah Berner?

  She was just spraying all over.

• 23:29Paige DeSorbo?

  She was just lysol-ing everything. She was just really helping me out. Okay?

• 23:33Hannah Berner?

  Wait, Italians love cleaning. You know she was. She was having a field day.

• 23:39Paige DeSorbo?

  She brought me extra blankets and pillows. Like she knew that I was like sick. So my mom was out there with me and she like, my brother on the other side didn't know that the cleaning woman had come outside and so he jumped up on the chair and he had a um,

• 24:00Paige DeSorbo?

  you know, those like things that help men put their shoes on.

• 24:03Hannah Berner?

  Okay, yeah.

• 24:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, like the, what are they called?

• 24:06Hannah Berner?

  I have no idea, but like men are so weak. You need something to help you get your shoe on.

• 24:11Paige DeSorbo?

  A shoe horn. It's called a shoe horn.

• 24:13Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, shoe horn.

• 24:14Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like help them put on like dress shoes, whatever. They truly like, oh, the patriarchy can't even bend.

• 24:21Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, let's study endometriosis. Okay?

• 24:23Paige DeSorbo?

  But my brother pops over his head with the shoe horn like.

• 24:27Hannah Berner?

  By the way, he's turning 40 soon. Continue.

• 24:32Hannah Berner?

  It's a grown man physically threatening people.

• 24:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And, and the cleaning woman like jumps back like, what the fuck?

• 24:45Hannah Berner?

  She was like, don't go into the disorbo's room. It's very scary in there.

• 24:50Paige DeSorbo?

  My brother was like, sorry. And my mom goes, no, we're all family. It's okay. And I go, it's okay that your son was gonna beat me with a shoe horn?

• 25:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's a lot of therapy going on here.

• 25:08Paige DeSorbo?

  So anyway, that's a little bit about the disorbo family trip. Summer is the season of ponytails, messy buns and braids. And when it's hot outside, I need to get my hair off my neck. And I used to feel so self-conscious about how my hair looked, but after using Nutraful, I realized such a difference in my hair. And there's nothing I hate more than doing a slick back bun and all of a sudden the sides just look so empty. There have even been times where I've taken eyeshadow and like tried to fill in the gaps, but not when I have Nutraful. Nutraful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand, and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used. Used by dermatologists.

• 25:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Nutraful's hair growth supplement are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. Adding Nutraful to your daily routine is easy. You can order online, no prescription needed. And with automated deliveries and free shipping to keep you on track, there's no way you can mess this up. Plus with Nutraful subscription, you can save up to 20% off and get added perks to support your hair healthy journey. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in three to six months with Nutraful. For a limited time, Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit nutraful.com and enter promo code GIGLY.

• 26:30Paige DeSorbo?

  That's nutraful.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com, promo code GIGLY. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different and then the shower drain? There's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you.

• 27:12Paige DeSorbo?

  If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/gigly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash giggly for hers dot com slash giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional?

• 27:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables. Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations, so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com. Make yourself at home.

• 28:40Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Affogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Affogato Creme filling.

• 29:22Paige DeSorbo?

  So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Affogato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite.

• 29:34Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm and Hammer, Hardball, Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home.

• 29:55Hannah Berner?

  Holidays you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy. So that part is already handled in the background. So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 30:29Hannah Berner?

  Well, final notes about the Masseter massacre, which is the new thing going around is, um, oh yeah, yahoo.com wrote an article and said comedian says her donkey smile is because of-

• 30:45Paige DeSorbo?

  What? When the fuck did we say donkey?

• 30:47Hannah Berner?

  Never said, never said donkey smile.

• 30:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, what does a donkey smile look like?

• 30:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well.

• 30:57Hannah Berner?

  No, but I read it and I was like, I'm being misquoted. I've never, then I was like, did I say donkey? Cause you know, sometimes you're like, things get taken out of context. I've never said, I would never say I have a donkey smile.

• 31:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I've also never said the word donkey.

• 31:09Hannah Berner?

  I've never smiled donkey together. Also, I would never shame a donkey. Like animals are perfect.

• 31:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, in what context? Like are we, are we talking about donkeys?

• 31:20Hannah Berner?

  No, literally leave donkeys out of it. So anyway, they just gaslit me to say that I called my, just say I look like a donkey. Don't make it like I'm telling myself I look like a donkey.

• 31:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Who wrote it?

• 31:34Hannah Berner?

  Someone at Yahoo.

• 31:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Not a giggler.

• 31:36Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no giggler, never. Um, also everyone was worried about your like gangly insist. And did you see like all the responses about what to do?

• 31:47Paige DeSorbo?

  So many responses. I think the number one response was like, it's a five to 10 minute procedure. It's honestly not that big of a deal.

• 31:56Hannah Berner?

  That's not the number one response I saw.

• 31:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, what was yours?

• 31:59Hannah Berner?

  People were saying to hit it with a bible.

• 32:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah. That one I knew, I knew that one. That's why I-

• 32:08Hannah Berner?

  To get his bible and hit you with it.

• 32:12Paige DeSorbo?

  He's gonna literally grab his shoehorn and be like, I'd love to, I've been waiting for you to ask. No, I knew that was like, one of the things to do, but I don't wanna do that.

• 32:28Hannah Berner?

  You don't wanna do surgery on yourself?

• 32:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, everyone was like, it will come back if you do that. And even if you go and get it drained, most likely it comes back. They said the only way to like, really ensure it doesn't is to like, get the procedure. I think I would just go and get it drained.

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  Are we like, becoming those girls in their 30s who were just talking about like, back pain and like, sis?

• 32:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, we're growing with the gigglers. We're all the same age and like, this is what we're going through. We're just talking about it. And this is how you get endometriosis, research money, by continuing to talk about it.

• 33:04Hannah Berner?

  Yes, yes.

• 33:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing, cuz now she's like, a part of me, you know? But someone did say, stress and anxiety contribute to these.

• 33:18Hannah Berner?

  I know, I'm, it's kind of, you can like accessorize it. Maybe you could bedazzle it or something.

• 33:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, maybe I could build it a little home.

• 33:26Hannah Berner?

  Get in an outfit, a matching set.

• 33:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Put a little eyes and a mouth on it.

• 33:34Hannah Berner?

  Be like, hold on, I have to talk to my giggling sis.

• 33:41Paige DeSorbo?

  What up, gang?

• 33:45Hannah Berner?

  There they are, they're coming.

• 33:49Paige DeSorbo?

  So stupid. I really miss you. I feel like-

• 33:51Hannah Berner?

  No, I miss you so much.

• 33:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I feel like I have so much, but like, I need to see you in person.

• 33:57Hannah Berner?

  You were dead, but like, so I didn't, I was just like, being like, it'll be okay. Like, I didn't know what to say, but I also, I didn't wanna bother you cuz you were dead, but then I also didn't wanna like- Make you think I forgot you were dying?

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, nobody bothered me while I was dead because I haven't been this, I haven't been this sick since truly like college, high school. I was so sick that I didn't even know where my phone was for the past week because I truly couldn't, I couldn't even look at my screen. I was so-

• 34:29Hannah Berner?

  Did you just say I jinxed us a couple of episodes ago before the Masseter massacre and your E. coli? I, I basically was like, being in your 30s is great because when something bad happens to you in your twenties, you're like, this is the first time it's happening. Like, I'm so scared my life is over. But in your 30s, you're like, I've dealt with this. I'll be okay. And then things that have never happened to us, like the smile situation. I'm like, I've never come across, this has never come across my desk. I don't know how to handle this. I think this is the end for me. So the universe loves to fuck with us and be like, oh, you think you know?

• 35:03Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I couldn't believe I said I had baby fever and then-

• 35:08Hannah Berner?

  You almost died from a baby.

• 35:09Paige DeSorbo?

  The hotel, like, Mater D was like, a bunch of kids brought it in. And I was like, those motherfuckers. Also, there's a lot of people from Australia here.

• 35:20Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 35:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Um.

• 35:22Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 35:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is crazy. Yeah, I keep saying, no, but because I feel like that flight is insane unless they live in America.

• 35:31Hannah Berner?

  Hmm, but it's funny. It's funny to see what vacation spots people love, like the British go-to or the Australian versus the Americans.

• 35:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:41Hannah Berner?

  But Australians, I feel like are good vibes and they love to like have a good time.

• 35:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I think the gaggle of Australian kids is who gave me this dire disease.

• 35:52Hannah Berner?

  Well, you are now in a full beef with a bunch of six year olds.

• 35:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been, well, here's the thing, because I got to the pool today and I go, which one of you little?

• 36:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Slimy.

• 36:06Hannah Berner?

  Knee biters.

• 36:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Little rats. Yeah. Gave me a fucking virus. No, truly, there were. Because the number one thing I thought, there's like a lot of old people at our pool, I feel like. I was like, if someone over the age of seventy five is getting this, that's it, you're done. I don't know how you're coming back from it. Because it was, I, I mean, I thought I was going to heaven at one point.

• 36:34Hannah Berner?

  Oh, God.

• 36:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyhow.

• 36:36Hannah Berner?

  Well, the good news, I know I'm healing a little bit because, or maybe I'm just.

• 36:41Paige DeSorbo?

  In terms of what?

• 36:42Hannah Berner?

  Just because, not my mouth, but just because I'm like, maybe it's just because I'm bored in hotel, but I've been like, watching some reality TV.

• 36:51Paige DeSorbo?

  What have you been watching?

• 36:52Hannah Berner?

  Well, I sent you this like long voice note about Rhode Island. Did you listen?

• 36:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You did?

• 36:58Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God, I sent you like.

• 36:59Paige DeSorbo?

  When did you send it?

• 37:00Hannah Berner?

  It was during your death spiral.

• 37:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, then you know what?

• 37:04Hannah Berner?

  Because I was like, she's, I want her to wake up in the morning and just have like my opinions, but I've been watching.

• 37:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, no, you didn't.

• 37:11Hannah Berner?

  Or maybe you watched it during a blackout.

• 37:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like I would have remembered pressing play. Are you sure it's sent?

• 37:19Hannah Berner?

  Or maybe I sent it to the wrong person and they're like, why is Hannah telling me?

• 37:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I got your screenshot pictures.

• 37:25Hannah Berner?

  It was before that.

• 37:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, anyway, keep going.

• 37:27Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, we're just trying to figure out our communication. So, but, okay, with Rhode Island.

• 37:37Hannah Berner?

  I love the accent so much. And I have to say, Alicia is one of the funniest personalities to ever grace our screens. And she truly isn't, is not trying to be funny, which I think is the most magical part about it. When everything she says hits and her being like, I love Osama, I love a fig, I love a cracker.

• 38:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I love, I love a horse.

• 38:03Hannah Berner?

  I love a horse. I love a horse.

• 38:05Paige DeSorbo?

  You find out she's allergic to horses and she goes, isn't that sad?

• 38:08Hannah Berner?

  That's so sad.

• 38:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I love a horse.

• 38:12Hannah Berner?

  Cause she, she never laughs at her jokes. She just says it. She, Billy, Billy, Billy.

• 38:18Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just her personality.

• 38:20Hannah Berner?

  She's incredible.

• 38:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You've had her pizza.

• 38:24Hannah Berner?

  Pizza mama?

• 38:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember? Yes. Remember Lucio brought us pizza to Radio City from Rhode Island?

• 38:31Hannah Berner?

  That was Pizza Mama?

• 38:33Paige DeSorbo?

  That was, yes, I'm pretty sure.

• 38:34Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so she's a CEO?

• 38:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her place. That, that's where it was from. I don't, I also could have made that up, but we'll have to ask Lucio.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  Wow.

• 38:45Paige DeSorbo?

  But I'm pretty sure you've had it.

• 38:46Hannah Berner?

  But yeah, people are like getting in fights and like, it's just so, nothing makes sense because of like edits. So like, you just don't know.

• 38:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:54Hannah Berner?

  Anyone's actual stance. Like, it's just so crazy.

• 38:58Paige DeSorbo?

  There is a world where Gagely Squad in 10 to 20 years turns into just a reality TV recap pod because watching a reality show as an old, old. Oh my God. Why did I just do that to myself?

• 39:15Hannah Berner?

  As a former.

• 39:17Paige DeSorbo?

  As a former reality person, you can tell when it's, the problem is bigger and they can't show it on TV because it won't, it's too much. It won't make sense. And like, there's a moment where you're like, but what's the real fight about?

• 39:31Hannah Berner?

  What was the reason?

• 39:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:34Hannah Berner?

  Reason? They're just saying yes to everything. Even the reunion where they're like, Rula, why would you go on a reality show when your husband is mid affair?

• 39:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:44Hannah Berner?

  And the guy, the husband was kind of like, I don't know.

• 39:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I find them, I find that archetype of people like, because I would put them in the same, obviously it's not the same thing because Jen Shaw literally scammed like so many people and old people, which I think is disgusting, but I'd put them in the same archetype of person where I'm, where it's like,

• 40:12Paige DeSorbo?

  we put.

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Obviously, people were gonna find out about this. Like, why would you? How could you go on a reality show doing something so horrible? And also illegal, in Jen's case, and think that no one was gonna pick up on it?

• 40:30Hannah Berner?

  I could be wrong, but I feel like Rula and them, at one point, you have to look at like the little things people say. Towards the end, he was basically like, the husband was like, well, we're the stars of the show. And him saying that made me realize, like, oh, they got the opportunity to do reality TV. They wanna be famous. There were indiscretions, but she was like, we'll handle it. Also, I love saying indiscretions. They love, they, they use different words for, when she goes, they were echoes. They were echoes. That's what, um, Liz says. They have different words for like, just, he fucking cheated, you know what I mean? But, um,

• 41:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't it crazy how, no, they talk about their husbands cheating like it's the 1950s. He stepped out.

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  He stepped out. Yes, he stepped out. Like, he tripped.

• 41:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, at, looking at the TV, I'm like, no, he fucked someone else. Like, what are you talking about?

• 41:21Hannah Berner?

  If you wanna stay with your man, cuz like, that's fine, but I think what was frustrating people was that she was trying to play dumb when she's not dumb.

• 41:30Paige DeSorbo?

  She's not dumb at all. She's extremely smart.

• 41:33Hannah Berner?

  Extremely smart. And she kept being like, just trusting him. And I know it's cuz you want to trust him and you have a family with him. But they really thought that they could go on the show and just like deny, deny, deny. But Joellen, who by the way, everyone calls her evil.

• 41:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I love her.

• 41:49Hannah Berner?

  She calls herself evil. And then Liz tries to be like, they just don't show the evil stuff. Um, but like, she hasn't really done anything evil besides, like, be like a dog with a bone when it comes to a guy cheating. But by the way, like, guys now are allowed to cheat and no one cares.

• 42:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No one cares. They're like, well,

• 42:08Hannah Berner?

  Did she deserve it?

• 42:09Paige DeSorbo?

  She was annoying, probably.

• 42:11Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, she like, did she smirk weird when he talked?

• 42:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you think about like what she was like to live with?

• 42:17Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god, yeah.

• 42:18Paige DeSorbo?

  It's okay.

• 42:19Hannah Berner?

  Of course, he should've cheated on her. The girl that he Fully had paperwork with.

• 42:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, Rhode Island is a very interesting cast because they've all known each other for so long.

• 42:32Hannah Berner?

  That's why it's good.

• 42:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, think about like your high school friends or your college friends. If you guys were all about to film a show, in your head, you would think like, okay, she's gonna be like this kind of character because that's how she is and she's gonna be like this. So I think they all went into it the way they think of each other. So like, everyone's gonna hate Jo Ellen because we hate Jo Ellen. But then they're on the show and America's watching and they're like, well, we love this woman. She was never homeless. She was never homeless. Oh my gosh, she was never homeless. I do love Liz though. Like, I like all of them.

• 43:13Hannah Berner?

  Liz announced she's gone. Because I think Liz was gonna kill someone. Like Liz was like, I don't wanna have to kill someone on this show and that's why I'm not gonna be here.

• 43:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It is also like your first season of reality television, it's such a blur because you're, then obviously when it comes out, you're like, wait, what? Like, I can't believe I did that. And it is intrusive. It's extremely intrusive and not everyone, once you get a taste of it, not everyone wants to keep doing it. So I like, I kind of respect her decision or she's like, I did it. I like experienced it. Like so fun. It's kind of similar to like a Jenna Lyons where she's like, yeah, I liked it, but I don't like it enough to be like a full cast member where you have that much access to me.

• 44:02Hannah Berner?

  Well, also you don't know, you don't know what's gonna define you. Out of like all the hours that you film, you don't know what moment people are gonna be like, and that's who she is.

• 44:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:13Hannah Berner?

  And Liz actually was really good. And then I think Liz had one of these, when people would fight with her, she would take it very personally because she was like, I've known you since you were born. Since you were born. I saw you come out of your mother's vagina and you are gonna attack me on TV. Like, that's the thing. It's when you confront someone on a reality show, you're not just confronting them. You're deciding, I want America to see this accusation of you. And it makes it so much deeper.

• 44:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I feel like if you're on a reality show and you're the type of person to be like, Oh, I don't think of the cameras. Like, I just feel like you're lying.

• 44:52Hannah Berner?

  No, you're a hundred percent lying.

• 44:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Really? You're not, you don't think of the person, the guy standing in front of you with the massive camera? Like, you don't think about him?

• 45:00Hannah Berner?

  I mean, you definitely can't control everything, because you can't be on top of it all the time, because it's too hard. Like, you'll forget, like, to control yourself, I think. When you film for so long, at some point, you're like, I need to let out my opinion.

• 45:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that they were a phenomenal cast, and they did a phenomenal job as a first season.

• 45:22Hannah Berner?

  Phenomenal.

• 45:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Show, I would say probably the best housewife franchise in years.

• 45:28Hannah Berner?

  Phenomenal, because it's like their own culture, and also, you know why? They were good. They make up fast. Like, when Alicia freaked out on Rosie, um, because Rosie was trying to stir the pot, and then Rosie was like, hey, I'm really sorry. She was like, I love ya. After she was like, "Welcome to Rhode Island, bitch!" Like, but that's what makes a good show, to be like, like, if they stayed mad at each other the rest of the show, that's boring.

• 45:55Paige DeSorbo?

  So boring. Get over it.

• 45:57Hannah Berner?

  But the thing is, come season two and season three, people get really jealous and egos of who's doing well, who's not, so things get really dark.

• 46:05Paige DeSorbo?

  And people get blinded by anger, and then they do do things that are life-ruining or life-altering, and because these are their real friends, like, I could see it being even harder, like, they've known them for so long.

• 46:20Hannah Berner?

  Also, we have a reality TV update. Leila, from Mormon Wives, has come out as bisexual.

• 46:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I get one stomach virus, and I lose all track of the Mormon Wives.

• 46:34Hannah Berner?

  Wait, they're, it's insane right now, the Mormon Wives, online.

• 46:38Paige DeSorbo?

  What are they doing? What are they doing?

• 46:39Hannah Berner?

  Oh, it's cra- it's cra- well, also, I can't, like, follow court shit, but like, Dakota and Taylor have like a live stream going of like, uh, what's it called when you like ask questions? A discon-

• 46:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Deposition.

• 46:54Hannah Berner?

  I don't understand what a deposition is, because they're like, you don't have to answer any questions if you don't want to. Why would you answer any questions? If they're gonna use it against you.

• 47:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know.

• 47:04Hannah Berner?

  And ask Gary. Actually, don't. I don't. He's busy like trying to hit people with a shoehorn.

• 47:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but.

• 47:11Hannah Berner?

  Gary's busy.

• 47:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that Dakota guy is real deranged. Like, he's real scary. He's on another level. He's doing really scary things, like timing the, timing the videos he posts of her. You can see in, he just posted some video of her and she is very clearly like postpartum and she's begging him to just like stop. Like you can feel the frustration in her and that's like the craziest level of abuse that I like, I, I feel so bad for her.

• 47:47Hannah Berner?

  It's reactive abuse, which actually they do take advantage of with reality TV where sometimes they just show people's reactions and not what they're reacting to, but that's just me raising awareness.

• 47:57Paige DeSorbo?

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• 48:41Paige DeSorbo?

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• 49:25Paige DeSorbo?

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• 50:09Paige DeSorbo?

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• 50:53Paige DeSorbo?

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• 51:35Paige DeSorbo?

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• 52:20Paige DeSorbo?

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• 52:44Hannah Berner?

  Taylor is fighting with all the other girls right now.

• 52:47Paige DeSorbo?

  About what?

• 52:48Hannah Berner?

  All the other girls are mad at her. I think she had said like, I'm the founder of Mom Talk. And then Whitney Levitt comes into the chat and is basically like founders, like multiple people founded it. And then Whitney's filming with all the other girls. And then Taylor posts basically like, how could you, how could you from outside the club? You can't even get in. And it's all these texts of opportunities she had that she said no to and the other girl said yes to. And then the internet's divided because they're like, is that a flex that you like, didn't want to do gigs? And the other girls did it like, I don't know. It's, it's just, so Mom Talk is in chaos.

• 53:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, let's call a spade a spade. Maybe.

• 53:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Multiple of them founded Mom Talk. They got a show because of Taylor.

• 53:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:38Paige DeSorbo?

  That's the only reason, the only reason they're on TV is because Taylor had an affair.

• 53:43Hannah Berner?

  But again, this is what happens with reality TV. It gets to the point where it's like just egos, like who, who gets the credit? Who gets the credit and who deserves what? But you're right about Dakota, like, the first scene when they were in that restaurant and he goes, "I couldn't believe you messaged me." Like, I could just tell that he was a famer.

• 54:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:04Hannah Berner?

  Like, he's just a fan that like, got in.

• 54:08Paige DeSorbo?

  He is fa- he is the biggest fa- he's not even a fan because I feel like that's a compliment. He wants to be her.

• 54:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:18Paige DeSorbo?

  He wants to be the founder of Mom Talk.

• 54:20Hannah Berner?

  He's like a good enough looking guy-

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  He wants to be the bachelor.

• 54:22Hannah Berner?

  That she messaged him and he basically was like, "This is my, she's my, like, um, what do they call it? Silver spoon."

• 54:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know if that's...

• 54:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I guess you could use that in that context, but I don't think that is traditionally-

• 54:44Hannah Berner?

  I actually blacked out. What did I say?

• 54:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, typically the saying is like, "They were born with a silver spoon in their mouth." Like, they were born with like a leg up. They were born-

• 54:55Hannah Berner?

  Third base.

• 54:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Wealthy. But I guess actually you could say, "She's my silver spoon."

• 55:02Hannah Berner?

  I digress.

• 55:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually, I actually kind of like that. That's actually like, yeah, throw a new spin on it.

• 55:10Hannah Berner?

  Take that dick out of your mouth and that silver spoon.

• 55:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Do me a favor, take that dick out of your mouth and put in this silver spoon. From rags to riches.

• 55:22Hannah Berner?

  No, like, and you guys, we're not high right now. Um-

• 55:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, do you want to hear something really sad?

• 55:28Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 55:29Paige DeSorbo?

  The owner of the gelato shop in town passed away, so they shut down the gelato shop. And there's a sign in the window. All I could think about was your grandpa. I don't know why. And in the sign in the window, it said, "Closed due to mourning." And I was like, oh.

• 55:48Hannah Berner?

  No, Italians are so good at processing their emotions. G. Angelo wouldn't have wanted us to continue without him for the week. Why did I turn into Long Island? G. Angelo, none of it.

• 56:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't that so sad?

• 56:01Hannah Berner?

  Well, Italians love putting up a closed sign.

• 56:06Hannah Berner?

  They love be back later.

• 56:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Taking a day off.

• 56:09Hannah Berner?

  They're taking a day off.

• 56:10Paige DeSorbo?

  See ya. BRB.

• 56:12Hannah Berner?

  Well, I send my condolences to the gelato, the gelato king. But anyway, no easy way to segue, but Leila had her first orgasm.

• 56:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay.

• 56:23Hannah Berner?

  Which is so funny, but no, she had her orgasm, but she also, she's bi. So basically like men just weren't doing it for her. And everyone was like pointing finger at her, like you have to like figure out how to orgasm. And she's like, I can't with a man. And then one day she woke up and she was like, oh, because I like women.

• 56:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was gonna say.

• 56:44Hannah Berner?

  She has a girlfriend.

• 56:45Paige DeSorbo?

  She couldn't do it with a vibrator like before.

• 56:48Hannah Berner?

  Maybe she, I think she was, but she like wasn't, it wasn't happening with men. So she has like a hot girlfriend with tattoos.

• 56:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah, I love that for her.

• 56:57Hannah Berner?

  I'm like so, I'm so happy for her.

• 57:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And if I could, I would.

• 57:01Hannah Berner?

  And if I could.

• 57:02Paige DeSorbo?

  If I could, I would.

• 57:02Hannah Berner?

  I would.

• 57:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I would, but I can't.

• 57:04Hannah Berner?

  Then on my TikTok, something came up, I don't know why I get all these TikToks about guys on the DL. Maybe it's because I was on the DL in a past life. If you don't know what that means, it means straight men who are gay on the down low. And this guy speaks as like a former DL man. And he's like this gorgeous guy who like is straight passing. And he's like, hey, as a former DL man, I just want you to know that guys on the DL tend to go for like really traditional, beautiful women. Like, so we think, we just think about it like, kind of like a gay guy, we're like, that's gorgeous. I'd rather be around that. And he's like, really traditional, beautiful women end up with guys on the DL a lot. And I was like, I have this in this page.

• 57:49Hannah Berner?

  But you know all these like girls on Instagram who are gorgeous? And then they have these gorgeous boyfriends and then you click on the boyfriend and you hear him talk and you're like, why would?

• 57:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, the amount of times I've like followed a girl for years and I've never looked at their husband and then I've just randomly given a gander. I'm like, I think that man is gay.

• 58:11Hannah Berner?

  Well, because in photos, they look so good together.

• 58:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like a gorgeous couple.

• 58:15Hannah Berner?

  Because they're face tuning each other.

• 58:19Paige DeSorbo?

  There's actually a girl on the internet. I don't even know what her name is like on TikTok. That's like a crazy girl, like a crazy like, you should not go to school and just like get married. Like one of those girls, I don't even know. But she like fights with people on the internet and then like they showed a picture of her husband. They know they showed a video of her husband like, and it was so blatantly obvious that he, it was just like sad. I'm like, they get, these girls get brainwashed.

• 58:48Hannah Berner?

  But then part of me, like my feelings were hurt because I was like, oh, so I'm not good looking enough for a DL gay to fuck with me?

• 58:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you never dated someone where you've like been out with them and you're like, taken a minute where you're like, I think you might be gay?

• 59:03Hannah Berner?

  Never. The only gay guy that I ever dabbled with, I never hooked up with him, was one of these guys who was like too masculine, like he was over like so masculine. And then when I heard that he might be messing around with men like a year later, I just talked to him for a couple of months. I was like, oh.

• 59:21Paige DeSorbo?

  That makes sense. That's a different.

• 59:23Hannah Berner?

  That's a different kind of DL.

• 59:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Trauma response.

• 59:25Hannah Berner?

  That's like guys in the military who were like super buff and tatted up. And just the most masculine guy ever. And then you find out he's not a DL. So he, he really tricked me. Some of these guys are not out here even trying to trick girls.

• 59:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I like them to put it all out on the table.

• 59:40Hannah Berner?

  They're like, don't a stomp that last season Prada shoe on me, honey.

• 59:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm like, let's get married.

• 59:47Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I have to tell you guys Paige and I like pitched this like show concept where like Paige falls in love with a guy who pretends to be gay, or who is actually gay and she finds out later. And these people gave us notes and they were like, but that's isn't like, it's not realistic. And we were like, this is based on a biography. This is based on real life, on the ground journalism.

• 1:00:10Paige DeSorbo?

  One of the writers was like, we just feel like Paige is too smart and she'd catch on. And me and Hannah, and we're like, ah, actually, we don't think that.

• 1:00:22Hannah Berner?

  They go Paige is way too smart to fall for something like that. I'm like, this is happening to girls every single day. This is an epidemic that we have to talk about.

• 1:00:31Paige DeSorbo?

  All over America, women are getting tricked, okay?

• 1:00:35Hannah Berner?

  But then it's like, is it better sometimes to just be with a DL guy who like, understands your fashion and like, likes to gossip with you and is good looking?

• 1:00:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, no, okay, no, I think that that's the whole argument of like lavender marriages. I think lavender marriages,

• 1:00:51Hannah Berner?

  work.

• 1:00:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I get those. I understand if you want to have children and this is your friend and you're, and they're gay, whatever.

• 1:00:59Hannah Berner?

  It's also, it's kind of like an arranged marriage where if like two people earnestly believe this is what they want, it can work.

• 1:01:06Hannah Berner?

  Like if the, if the guy's like, this is what I want to be for me, it works.

• 1:01:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway.

• 1:01:13Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, I have a, a sports update since this is a sports podcast and you guys have all been waiting for the sports updates.

• 1:01:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Is the, is the cups?

• 1:01:21Hannah Berner?

  I'm officially into the World Cup.

• 1:01:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Why did I just say that? Wait, you are? I was just gonna say, is it still going on?

• 1:01:27Hannah Berner?

  Dez came over and was like, we're watching the World Cup. And I was like, okay. And I like made him explain shit to me. And then like now I'm, I'm like all in. It's so annoying. Like I was watching it alone last night. But um.

• 1:01:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I hate when you do stuff like that.

• 1:01:46Hannah Berner?

  I have like a weird like hyper fixation with it.

• 1:01:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You get so into randoms.

• 1:01:53Hannah Berner?

  I know, now I'm in a K-hole. Now my whole feed is like men kicking and falling.

• 1:01:57Paige DeSorbo?

  And now you have to look them all up. Okay, give me, what's the deal with the guy with all the goddamn Birkins?

• 1:02:03Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so it looks like he has lip filler, but he's just, he's just from um Switzerland. So like men are just beautiful in Switzerland. They just have like high cheekbones and huge lips and just like, he's like six, five, huge.

• 1:02:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Blue eyes, yeah.

• 1:02:19Hannah Berner?

  Um, can't even look right at him like, ah. So he's, yeah, he's just really good and has a good personality and he's talented and he's winning. But soccer is just, I mean, I don't really have any insight. I just didn't understand why. Every play, they don't just like, someone kicks the ball towards the goal and then they all jump and like, have a chance to get it in. Cause like, it's so fucking hard to get a goal. I'm like, why are we not just like, I feel like percentage wise, just kick it near the goal and see what happens. And Dez is like, no, they have to set up the play. They have to set up the play. I'm like, yeah, but they could be setting up the play all fucking game. And someone like hits it off their ankle and it goes in the other goal.

• 1:03:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, why the fuck would America create football and call it football? When the entire world was using the term football for soccer, like.

• 1:03:16Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's like us using inches in Fahrenheit.

• 1:03:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but, but.

• 1:03:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, actually, the end.

• 1:03:26Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:03:31Hannah Berner?

  That's a point.

• 1:03:35Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, football was created in what? Like, the 50s?

• 1:03:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, football was already a thing, like, call it... Call something like-

• 1:03:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like soccer was, yeah, like, the game of soccer was already a thing. So when they created American football, and they're like, "What should we call it?" They were, they were, a bunch of idiots got together and was like, "Why don't we steal the name of a sport that's already being played?" Like, why didn't anyone stop them?

• 1:04:02Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, who was at the head of the meeting that day?

• 1:04:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, foot and ball, in American, they don't ever kick it.

• 1:04:09Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm. They kick it, they have a kick, but they have like a kicker, that-

• 1:04:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Why wouldn't it be called handball?

• 1:04:16Hannah Berner?

  That's a thing, too. That's a separate thing. We'll come up with another thing, but you know, it made me think comparing the two.

• 1:04:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, American football should have been called soccer.

• 1:04:25Paige DeSorbo?

  And football, and soccer should have been called football.

• 1:04:28Hannah Berner?

  Possibly.

• 1:04:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Because what the hell is soccer?

• 1:04:30Hannah Berner?

  The branding is all over the place.

• 1:04:33Paige DeSorbo?

  It's all over the place, and it's because it's all the men, all the men do it.

• 1:04:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because men don't, straight men don't know branding, that's for sure. But with soccer, the men, like, they want to get called, fouls called, so they like flop, like, they get hit slightly and they do the whole like rolling around like a fish on the ground.

• 1:04:51Paige DeSorbo?

  They're your cat when you're away for a while, and you come home. They just fall in front of you, like-

• 1:04:58Hannah Berner?

  Or like a toddler, they're like a toddler where like, they fall and you're looking at them like, "Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry?" And they look around to see, if no ref calls a whistle, they just get up and keep going.

• 1:05:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, they're sick.

• 1:05:11Hannah Berner?

  They're sick. They're liars and cheaters.

• 1:05:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they're, no, they're really sick.

• 1:05:16Hannah Berner?

  But it's funny, because football, yeah, they have pads and stuff, but football, American football, so fucking complicated. They're getting hit with each other's helmets, like, rammed every play, and these are six, eight guys that, rammed, get right back up, run back to the play, and then soccer, someone's like, kinda like, hits another guy's shin, and they act like they're hit by a car. When I got hit by a car, I had less reaction.

• 1:05:44Paige DeSorbo?

  American football is like truly modern day like gladiators.

• 1:05:49Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, which, and it's not right. It's not right because yes, he did get up immediately and go back to the line, but his brain is bleeding and he can't spell.

• 1:05:59Paige DeSorbo?

  But he might murder someone in five to 10 years.

• 1:06:01Hannah Berner?

  In five to 10 years, there is a 50% chance someone's gonna get murdered.

• 1:06:05Paige DeSorbo?

  The men don't have a good enough track record that we're taking this many chances with them.

• 1:06:10Hannah Berner?

  Also, what's crazy is like if he murders someone, he's still will probably just get like a three day suspension.

• 1:06:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't it crazy really that like men commit 90% of violent crimes? Like, is that like, we don't say that enough, just every day.

• 1:06:27Hannah Berner?

  That was in my first special, when I talk about gun violence.

• 1:06:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, doing the work of the people, yeah. Because that's just a crazy statistic, 90%.

• 1:06:41Hannah Berner?

  If only women were allowed to have guns, gun violence would be down 80%. Because occasionally we'd have a slip up.

• 1:06:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Look, I thought it was on sale, it wasn't on sale.

• 1:06:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You said it was on sale, now you're saying it's not on sale.

• 1:06:59Hannah Berner?

  I want to return this, I can't find the receipt.

• 1:07:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You're saying just in-store credit? Well, now I need to pull out my gun.

• 1:07:07Hannah Berner?

  There's a seance sale going on and I feel like things are getting sold out.

• 1:07:13Hannah Berner?

  You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. Thank you for all your support during this difficult time that both of us have been navigating. You are a rock. We love you so much. And also, we may have some merch dropping soon.

• 1:07:28Paige DeSorbo?

  See ya.

• 1:07:29Hannah Berner?

  Love you so much. Bye.

• 1:07:36Speaker 04

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• 1:07:44Speaker 04

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• 1:07:59Hannah Berner?

  Learn more. Xfinity. Imagine that. Restrictions apply. Not available in all areas. Xfinity Internet and compatible equipment required. Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 1:08:10Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.