Giggling about con men, country boys, and cigars

Paige has a gripe with parades and Hannah is covering the most important documentary of the year. subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces. And let's just say, these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.

• 0:55Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 1:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, so many people have my location.

• 1:03Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 1:07Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend, like, doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 1:12Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 1:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:28Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat, so once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:37Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:41Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 1:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:45Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 2:06Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 2:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 2:11Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 2:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a T-shirt for real.

• 2:17Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 2:26Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:29Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:30Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:32Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:44Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:45Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you. This episode is sponsored by cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open,

• 3:29Hannah Berner?

  which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with cars.com. Where to next?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Sup, gigglers? Carry it, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-gigglers?

• 3:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:54Hannah Berner?

  So someone messaged me and said, I was listening to Paige tell a story about how her ears were ringing, and just wanted to let her know that that actually could be a health concern.

• 4:05Hannah Berner?

  It doesn't always mean people are talking bad about you.

• 4:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Tell my mom that.

• 4:11Hannah Berner?

  I go, not in Italian. Not in Italian. I also want to apologize to the, to the community for saying that Mormon house, Mormon secret wives was better than Vanderpump Rules. I was just having a moment of excitement and I apologize. That wasn't true.

• 4:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, everyone's entitled to their own opinions and if you feel like you had a better time watching that over the past couple of weeks, that's okay.

• 4:35Hannah Berner?

  Thank you for validating my feelings. Um, also just want to start out with our woman of STEM of the week. Up top, there's a woman who does Uber Eats deliveries and she realizes that when she takes a picture of the food and she puts her feet in them, she gets bigger tips. So that is our woman of some of the week.

• 4:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't believe you just said that because I have what pissed me off this week.

• 4:56Hannah Berner?

  What is it?

• 4:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You know how Uber launched, they're like, oh, you can request a woman to drive you? Amazing. I love that. What a great feature. Awesome. When I have really heavy bags though, I'm not putting that on the girls. Anyway, I digress. Also, women can work for sex traffickers. So you're not fooling me, honey. You're actually not fooling me. Where Uber has messed up with this is when I'm doing an Uber Eats grocery order, why can't I pick a woman? And I don't know if this is what Darwin had in mind when he discovered natural selection, but Uber Eats delivery drivers who are men who go into the grocery store.

• 5:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you alive? Are you alive? Because whenever I'm doing a grocery order from Uber Eats, it's because, oop, I need like two things that I forgot, that I'm not going to the store by myself, or I need something really heavy, like a 24 case of water bottles. So I'm going to Uber Eats that and add a couple of other things. When I have a woman, I've actually messaged my woman the other day and I said, I'm so thankful that you are a woman because I've been trying to get garlic now for 48 hours.

• 6:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so don't tell me that they're out of garlic and then send me a picture of a plastic bag with a million garlic cloves unshelled. I want them in their home. I want them as God intended them at my door, okay?

• 6:33Hannah Berner?

  Do they give you the minced, cut up ones?

• 6:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they sent me like a bag of, like, I was like, no, I don't want a bag of garlic that someone in the back room like unpeeled all of them. I want it in its home. I know it's there. I know it's there. The next morning I did the same order. She got it. So if you're really interested in women's rights, put, put the option on Uber Eats to get women also, because let me tell you something, all the men aren't gonna be on the work for Uber real soon. And that's just, that's just natural selection that has nothing to do with us.

• 7:08Hannah Berner?

  I distinctly remember my mom having fights with my dad because she'd give him the list. Did your mom have like a written list?

• 7:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 7:14Hannah Berner?

  She'd say, this is the list. This is all you have to do is get like the six things on this list. And he would come back, he'd lose the list, something happened where he couldn't find anything, he bought a completely wrong thing. And I just remember, I'm like, this happens every time.

• 7:28Paige DeSorbo?

  A sentence that is burned in my brain is, where's the goddamn list? And that's from my dad. That's a direct quote from my dad.

• 7:41Hannah Berner?

  Gary Shakespeare de Sorbo.

• 7:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And there are so many times that he's come home and my mom has been like, oh, okay, but this isn't one. And he's like, Kim, they didn't have it. They didn't have it, Kim.

• 7:51Hannah Berner?

  And she's like, don't make me go over there because I will.

• 7:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I know that they did.

• 7:54Hannah Berner?

  I know they did. I know they did. My dad also would, on the list of things we need, he would like write jokes at the bottom, like he'd write a backhand.

• 8:03Paige DeSorbo?

  That's sweet.

• 8:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, so like he'd have his little jokes, but my mom was like, it's not, and it isn't funny. And it's not funny.

• 8:09Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not funny.

• 8:10Hannah Berner?

  That is a good game show, though. Like dad's trying to remember their children's birthdays.

• 8:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:16Hannah Berner?

  And what is it where like, like my dad the other day?

• 8:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's weaponized incompetence.

• 8:21Hannah Berner?

  Period. But my dad the other day, he like wasn't answering his phone and I was like, oh, silly dad. Where like if my mom doesn't answer, I'm like,

• 8:30Paige DeSorbo?

  So she's attached?

• 8:31Hannah Berner?

  She's attached.

• 8:33Paige DeSorbo?

  She's dead somewhere. She went to a doctor's appointment. She didn't tell me about it. Now she's dead on the table. Like, I got my dad. I'm like, he left his phone in the car. He's stupid.

• 8:42Hannah Berner?

  There's not a, no, I was like, my dad forgot how his phone works, and that's okay. Meanwhile, when my mom, when she answers on the first ring, that's what your love is.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you ever call your mom and your dad answers and you're like,

• 8:59Paige DeSorbo?

  uh, I'm calling for a reason. Like, can you get it? Like, sometimes I almost feel bad, because I'm like, oh.

• 9:06Hannah Berner?

  There's nothing for you in this conversation.

• 9:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, I actually called for a mom.

• 9:10Hannah Berner?

  What's a TikTok? This is my house. It's Pam.

• 9:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. I don't know that one.

• 9:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm the owner of this house.

• 9:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:19Hannah Berner?

  Um, no, my dad's answered before, and it's like when she's in the shower, and I'm like, I'll call back. Thank you.

• 9:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, last night, the Last Cultureist Awards aired.

• 9:29Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can I get some tea? So, this is so funny. We get in, and they put us in like these seats.

• 9:38Paige DeSorbo?

  They put us in the front row.

• 9:40Hannah Berner?

  Thank you, Bowen and Matt, treating us. They put us right in the front. I'm so excited. I'm sitting there all titillated. I love watching other people perform. And the camera guy comes.

• 9:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I love watching other people perform.

• 9:53Hannah Berner?

  So, the, this camera guy comes, and he just looks at us, and he goes, you guys are Summer House? And I, and you didn't hear him say this. He just asked me, because I was on the corner. And I look at him, and I go, no. He walks away, comes back, he goes, you guys are supposed to be Summer House. And I go, yeah.

• 10:09Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a long story.

• 10:11Hannah Berner?

  Well, Sierra was sitting like right behind us. So I go, I mean, the people, I think they're gonna be Summer House. And he goes, no, you all are supposed to be Summer House. I go, okay, I got fired. I looked at him, I go, I got fired. He, he goes, hold on one sec. He walks back, comes back, he goes, are you sure you're not Summer House? I'm like, it's complicated. It's a whole thing.

• 10:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just not aligning myself right now with them.

• 10:29Hannah Berner?

  I go, it's just not really my brand. Like, I know that I'm back on Bravo today, but like, overall, I just don't even, this guy was like, we're going live in three minutes? What the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, there was like a lot that went on that like, it's been like six years. Like, I'm not on Summer House.

• 10:43Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, it's actually super nuanced. And like, I could explain it to you, but like, I'm not sure we have the time.

• 10:48Hannah Berner?

  And some people know me from Summer House, and people know me from Gavey Squad. I also do this like hand-on-the-street thing sometimes on TikTok that people.

• 10:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you have a Hulu account?

• 10:58Hannah Berner?

  I go onstage, I started doing sets at the stand and like I really started to find my comedic voice onstage. Like, literally, it was so fucking, like, cuz I was like, could not get myself to be like, "Yeah, I'm on, I'm part of Summer House."

• 11:10Paige DeSorbo?

  It felt like vitriol to be like, yeah, it's like, no, like, I actually don't-

• 11:17Hannah Berner?

  I was like, "Go back to your team, explain the nuances, and let's not label people."

• 11:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I wrote, I wrote down Mandy Moore because-

• 11:26Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, we walked by her.

• 11:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, she performed and with Bowen and Matt, and I just feel like as a society, as a whole, as a collective, especially as millennials, I feel like we're not putting enough onus on Mandy Moore's career and how much she impacted our lives. Like, Mandy Moore actually was the first pop star I knew of, like, before, before Brittany and Christina, like, really came into my world. I was a Mandy Moore girl.

• 12:01Hannah Berner?

  Really? Well, I feel like, now, this was a long time ago, so if I get this not fully correct, don't at me, but-

• 12:13Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what's really funny to think about? Like, like, our moms saying, like, like, Gen Z jargon in everyday life. Like, imagine if you just heard Lenore be like, "And don't at me, but," uh, like, finish the sentence.

• 12:28Hannah Berner?

  She actually does, cuz she listens to Giggly Squad so much. Later that day, she was like, "I was so page-coded."

• 12:34Hannah Berner?

  But, um, man, I feel like it was a timing thing where there were too many girls of similar fonts, like, there were too many blondes. I'll be so real with you, they were like, "Either go brunette, or we don't have space for you here." Like, they had, cuz they had Jessica Simpson, they had-

• 12:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, right.

• 12:50Hannah Berner?

  They had Christina, and they had Brittany, and Mandy Moore was like, as good. Like, I loved Mandy Moore, but it seemed like the timing was wrong. She should've dyed her hair red.

• 13:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Name a redhead pop star, Vitamin C. We didn't have a redheaded pop star. We still don't really have, we have Chapel Roan. But I don't even see her as like a pop star.

• 13:12Hannah Berner?

  No, no.

• 13:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, our generation, we had a ton of pop stars. Like the past 10, 15 years, who were their pop stars? Taylor Swift?

• 13:25Hannah Berner?

  Ariana.

• 13:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but Ariana isn't, wasn't doing tours like Brittany and Christina were doing and Destiny's Child were doing tours.

• 13:36Hannah Berner?

  You are so nostalgic. Wait, I'm charging my computer. You literally just want to talk about your childhood.

• 13:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I just love our era of pop stars and the girls.

• 13:46Hannah Berner?

  I did just post Eve, the rapper, E V.

• 13:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:50Hannah Berner?

  On my Instagram. I just love finding old songs that were so fucking good. That was from 2001. Besides 9/11, that was an amazing year.

• 13:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Um.

• 13:59Hannah Berner?

  I love that you had no reaction to that.

• 14:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I just heard you say 9/11 and I thought, let's just switch the topic.

• 14:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, speaking of 9/11, um, did you see that the Knicks parade like downtown this, was downtown this morning? Um, I hate to be, I don't want to be negative. I don't, I don't want my like initial thoughts on things to be negative. I want to be a positive person. But when I saw the parade on TV and I saw that it's, I think one of the news reporters said like, there's 3 million people down here. My first thought was, why in the fuck? Uh, well, also you know how I feel about parades.

• 14:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 14:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think they're, I don't think they're appropriate.

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  But this is the thing, these people are not like us and I admire them so much to be like, they want to add a life experience to their life and have a core memory.

• 14:59Paige DeSorbo?

  No one's got to be anywhere on a Thursday at 10 a.m. Come on. I was like, and then I'm looking, I'm looking. And obviously the majority is, are men and I'm like, Oh no, like the loneliness epidemic, wh- how will you guys survive?

• 15:16Hannah Berner?

  Also, the smoking of cigars is so funny to me. Like, imagine if like, the women's tennis player who won the US Open is just smoking a cigar on it, like it's crazy.

• 15:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never been around a man smoking a cigar until Joe.

• 15:31Hannah Berner?

  It's a culture.

• 15:32Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a culture, it's a whole thing, it's a whole world that I had no idea about.

• 15:37Hannah Berner?

  Men are spending their money on, on specific weird shit. Like watches, cigars.

• 15:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I've also was, have never really been around someone that golfed as much as Joe golfs.

• 15:49Hannah Berner?

  How do you feel? Cause Dez is a golfer. I always say before you have a family, it's quite nice.

• 15:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's my thing with golf, and this is like so candid, I almost like wanna whisper.

• 16:00Hannah Berner?

  Just whisper, just whisper, just say it.

• 16:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, I don't care when you're golfing, I don't care, I don't have kids, so I don't have to go as hard. So you, you do and go wherever you want to because I certainly will as well. Not, that's not where my problem lies. My problem lies is when you come home, I don't need to talk about it. I don't need to know how everyone else did, I don't need, literally Joe texted me the other day, he was like, I'm playing really bad. I texted him back and I go, Kim, there are people that are dying. I go, I don't-

• 16:35Hannah Berner?

  Kim, your sister's going to jail.

• 16:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I, like, I'm, like, stop taking selfies of yourself, I don't care. So that's where, and I didn't realize that's what the girls were dealing with. I thought that they were like the majority mad, that they were leaving at times, or it was like, I planned something for a Saturday afternoon. I didn't realize the other part of it was that you have to ta- then talk about it.

• 16:56Hannah Berner?

  Well, sometimes they for fun, like, bet money. And I know like Dez and his friends just for fun will like put five bucks in or whatever, so they'll come home, he'll be like, babe, I made thirty dollars today. And I'm like, I'm wet.

• 17:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:10Hannah Berner?

  I'm so wet from this.

• 17:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like you liking sports, if someone came home and was like, great golf story today, you would be like, okay, I'll listen.

• 17:19Hannah Berner?

  The thing also with Dez is he does wake up really early. Like, he starts golfing at 7 a.m. So by the time he gets home at like 11, I already just had my coffee. I'm like excited to see him.

• 17:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 17:31Hannah Berner?

  But some men will just like be gone the entire day. I just wonder like, cause I know the men aren't talking about anything interesting. So I'm like, how are you guys not getting bored? Also, I went to Shinnecock. Which is the practice for the US Open men's. So what's so interesting about golfers as a sports podcast, you can't tell who the professional athletes are versus like the coaches, the managers, the agents walking around, because it was like a practice, because they all have the same body type. Like, you know when like the basketball team comes in, everyone's like,

• 18:05Paige DeSorbo?

  The basketball team.

• 18:06Hannah Berner?

  Those are the basketball players. No one knew who the golfers were. It was just a bunch of dudes with pants and collared shirts. And some of the agents were more fit than the golfers. And I was confused.

• 18:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, that is so funny.

• 18:21Hannah Berner?

  I kept like smiling at everyone, then I was like, who's who?

• 18:24Paige DeSorbo?

  So do golfers, are they like not working out?

• 18:27Hannah Berner?

  They don't have, like, they can have guts. Cause they kind of just need power.

• 18:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:33Hannah Berner?

  And like, they're not burning a whole lot of calories, just swinging and then getting in a, but then some of them work out a lot and then some of them get injured because they worked out too much.

• 18:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Interesting.

• 18:42Hannah Berner?

  Like they got too jacked.

• 18:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they just have to really like hit it hard. Also, I don't care.

• 18:48Hannah Berner?

  I was like, we've been talking about this way too long.

• 18:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't give a fuck about these guys.

• 18:52Hannah Berner?

  I also do think that if you wanted to, you'd be so good at golf because you have a wingspan of like,

• 18:59Paige DeSorbo?

  If I wanted to, I could, but.

• 19:01Hannah Berner?

  If you wanted to, you could. Wait, one more thing about Los Culturistas.

• 19:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:05Hannah Berner?

  One of the more embarrassing things happened to me. Um, Instagram.

• 19:11Hannah Berner?

  Like the day before, I see a message from Matt,

• 19:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Hannah Berner?

  Bowen and you in a group chat.

• 19:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:19Hannah Berner?

  And Matt said something funny that made us laugh. And then I scroll up and I realized like I'd missed all of it. So then I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I missed like the previous conversation. Then I realized he had added me to an old conversation.

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:35Hannah Berner?

  That you guys had had from when you won cool girl of the year, the previous year. So then I, and I'm like, honestly, like I know them, but I don't know them enough to be like so stupid over DMs.

• 19:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:46Hannah Berner?

  So then I had to be, and I can't unsend it.

• 19:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 19:49Hannah Berner?

  Bowen's on SNL. I have respect. I'm not unsending messages. So then I'm like over explaining what that I'm, then I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so sorry. I'll see you guys there and don't tell them, don't tell the camera guy that I'm on the phone.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  That guy's only job was to record me, you and Sierra and I was literally being like, you're in the wrong place, bro.

• 20:14Hannah Berner?

  Also at one point, syrup took my scarf, almost suffocated me.

• 20:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Choked you with that?

• 20:19Hannah Berner?

  Choked me and then started, started like swinging it. The scarf was actually dangerous at some point.

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It was. It was a health hazard at some point.

• 20:28Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:28Paige DeSorbo?

  My thing, when you came and told me that, like, oh, they added me to your original group chat. So I could see the previous messages. The first thing I thought was, what is any girl in high school doing? Like, could you imagine being in high school, you're DMing with your friend, you're talking shit about someone, then you guys get into a fight. They add the third girl in. She sees everything you guys have said. I'm like.

• 20:55Hannah Berner?

  No, I just need a lot of people know, cause well, I scrolled up and it was literally Matt being like, thank you so much for coming. And I, and I, only you responded. And I was like, oh my God, how did I ignore Matt? And then it was just me being like, sorry, I don't, I didn't, I didn't know what's going on.

• 21:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's a crazy feature and I didn't know they had that. So Hannah taught me that.

• 21:13Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, DMs are like, I don't even know what's going on with DMs. I still don't know if people can see if I read their DMs or not.

• 21:19Paige DeSorbo?

  My Instagram has a lot of bugs. So like, I don't really know what's going on. I can't see any of my mentions. If I click a DM and then I click off of it, it deletes. It's gone forever. So I've been like, I've like tried to respond to people and then it's gone. So. Whatever. Who cares? Um, I canceled my Botox appointment for next Friday because my mom keeps sending me videos about how it goes right into your brain. She said, "You wanna numb your brain?"

• 21:49Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm upset. She's like, there's... What are those like eating things that eat your brain?

• 21:55Paige DeSorbo?

  An amoeba?

• 21:57Hannah Berner?

  An amoeba. There's amoeba toxins. Also, do you know the difference between Dysport, Botox, Sudafil?

• 22:08Paige DeSorbo?

  The way I think about it is...

• 22:12Hannah Berner?

  They all sound like aliens.

• 22:13Paige DeSorbo?

  This is the way I think about it. You know a Band-Aid?

• 22:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 22:17Paige DeSorbo?

  The brand is Band-Aid.

• 22:20Hannah Berner?

  Got it.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not a Band-Aid. Botox is the brand, but there's other ones that do all do the same thing, but they're not called Botox. Botox just has the best PR. I also could've just made that up, but I'm pretty sure that's how it is. So no, I actually don't know the difference between Botox and Dysport. I know that if you metabolize one or the other faster, they give you the other one.

• 22:50Hannah Berner?

  Do you think your Botox has worn off yet?

• 22:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Not fully.

• 22:53Hannah Berner?

  From your lip?

• 22:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Um... Not fully.

• 22:59Hannah Berner?

  How did it affect your mental health?

• 23:01Paige DeSorbo?

  It affected my mental health in multiple ways because I waited so long to do it and then I felt like I went against myself because like, I was like, you went against your own gut because you felt peer pressured from your own self. And then I hated when... Then like people would already like comment like, "Oh my God, she's gotten so much work done." So then after I got Botox, they were like, "Well, I know for a fact she gets Botox." I'm like, "I haven't had..." You bitches wish I had a surgery on my face. You bitches wish I had a nose drop. But, so that like pissed me off.

• 23:38Hannah Berner?

  I did post a photo, I think of when I was little and someone's like, "I knew you got filler." I was like, "I'm an infant in that photo."

• 23:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a small child.

• 23:49Hannah Berner?

  They were like, "Look how small your lips are." I'm like, "I'm just, I'm two weeks old."

• 23:57Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afagato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock, whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afagato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted

• 24:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Caramel or Afagato Creme filling. So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afagato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work? Outfit. Leading a meeting? Outfit. Getting drinks with your friends? Obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Ali's from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like

• 25:19Paige DeSorbo?

  a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute, and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer, and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers, too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane, and this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two, like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready-to-wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are

• 26:01Paige DeSorbo?

  looking good for date night, because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables. Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something.

• 26:44Paige DeSorbo?

  If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations, so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com. Make yourself at home. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiiatry connects you with real psychiatric care, so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works. Talkiiatry is 100% online psychiatric practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and much more.

• 27:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Unlike therapy-only platforms, Talkiiatry is psychiatry. You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. And because you continue with the same provider, you're not starting over each time. Your treatment can evolve with you and you can actually make progress over time. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y dot com slash giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/giggly.

• 28:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, did you watch Maternal Instinct?

• 28:14Hannah Berner?

  Now, let me do a warning. I'm not gonna say what happened.

• 28:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 28:17Hannah Berner?

  This first episode, I'm not gonna spoil it and I will give you guys time until Monday to watch it, but then I'm spoiling it, because we have to talk about what happens.

• 28:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, there's more than one episode?

• 28:28Hannah Berner?

  No, there's one.

• 28:29Paige DeSorbo?

  One, one, okay, yeah, it's like an hour and a half.

• 28:31Hannah Berner?

  I don't wanna give the ending away.

• 28:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. Yeah, because this is a big one.

• 28:35Hannah Berner?

  This is the kinda thing where you're like, "Yeah, this is fucking crazy," and then it ends and you're like, "Ow!"

• 28:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you're just like, it's starting and you're like, "Okay, like, yeah, crazy," and then you're like, "She's not gonna..." There's no way she-

• 28:49Hannah Berner?

  No, she's not gonna- Also, like, part of me was like, "How did we go from A to Z?" Like, there was no reason for it to end the way it did, like, there's so many levels of crazy. And look, I hate, one thing about me, I hate calling a woman crazy. This woman is crazy.

• 29:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, here's why I think it's so scary when women do evil things.

• 29:10Hannah Berner?

  Because they're smart.

• 29:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Because they're so smart. So like, if you have a girl who legitimately hates your stinking guts, or like, wants to wish harm on you, that's one of the scariest things in the world, I'd pick a man over a girl who hates me.

• 29:30Hannah Berner?

  That's why I primarily fight with men, because knowing a girl hates you, you literally are like, "She could be 10 steps ahead." Like, she, she, I'm walking into what she wants me to do right now, like, who knows?

• 29:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they're terrifying. Dude, I just saw a news article in, um, that like, two girls, I think it was like downtown, it was either downtown New York, or like, or like, over, in, right in Jersey City, and it was like, two girls got acid thrown on them.

• 29:59Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 29:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, just like, walking down the street, that it was like, a targeted attack, it was like, a guy, it was two people on a moped, they don't know if it was girls or guys, like, that is-

• 30:09Hannah Berner?

  Can you stop scaring people?

• 30:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, people are scary, you have to be alert, you have to be alert.

• 30:15Hannah Berner?

  Well, we've become Italian moms, she's like, "Once."

• 30:20Hannah Berner?

  A girl was just, just like you, walking down the street, a piano hit her in the head.

• 30:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, people can get so jealous of you that rather than trying to kill you, they just wanna like destroy your life. It's very scary.

• 30:34Hannah Berner?

  One thing that made me feel good about my enemies was I was, you know, I was getting those quotes and how like your enemies believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

• 30:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:42Hannah Berner?

  And I was kind of like, holy shit, you're my cheerleader, you're my everything, you're my doctor, you're my engineer, you're my Jalen Brunson.

• 30:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but you have like normal enemies. I have enemies that are like, I'll find where you live.

• 30:56Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'll find where your cousins live.

• 30:58Hannah Berner?

  I love how we're debating who has worse enemies.

• 31:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, Kitty just jumped up.

• 31:03Hannah Berner?

  Oh, hi Kitty. Um, I found out because I'm a Scorpio rising. Someone was like, hey Scorpio rising, people are gonna really fucking hate you. Like groups of people are gonna come together and be like, I don't fuck with her and they're not gonna like you. And you either have to accept it and move on, or your life's gonna be living hell. And I was like, cool, cool, cool, cool. Glad I saw this TikTok.

• 31:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And because you're a Leo, you like.

• 31:30Hannah Berner?

  I can't hide.

• 31:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and like people just gravitate toward you.

• 31:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, we have different types of enemies and we trigger different things in people. And that's why we're best friends.

• 31:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Wait, okay, so back to this documentary.

• 31:44Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, do you wanna explain or do you want me to start?

• 31:46Paige DeSorbo?

  The one thing I wanna say about it, and this is why I think that gossip is so important.

• 31:51Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yes.

• 31:52Paige DeSorbo?

  They were in the smallest town in America and a bunch of people knew this bitch was nuts. And no one said anything because they did not wanna get involved in like gossip or drama. But like, it is so important to talk to your friends and be like, like, no, this is what I heard and that bitch is nuts.

• 32:14Hannah Berner?

  I do think it's a red flag when you meet some them, someone and they immediately start demonizing someone. Whether it's a guy demonizing an ex or a, or you're someone demonizing a friend. Like granted, there are obviously bad people, but when someone goes too hard, like, I don't like that. It's, should be more like, yeah, I don't fuck with her, but like whatever, like I wish her well, instead of this, okay. So this girl, she's beautiful, she comes, she's in the town and she meets poor Wade.

• 32:47Hannah Berner?

  Poor Wade, he just likes the farm, he stays busy all day.

• 32:51Paige DeSorbo?

  He's got red hair and he's sweet.

• 32:53Hannah Berner?

  And he's chunky and he's cute.

• 32:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And he just like wants to like do country stuff and like

• 32:59Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 33:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And his friend, what about his friend that was like, I don't care what no other folks do. I loved that so much. I was like, I don't care what other folks do.

• 33:10Hannah Berner?

  No, that was iconic. He was like, I will get the gossip, but I just live my life and I don't care what's going on. But then you know, he sat there at the end and was like, damn, I should have asked one question. I should have asked two questions maybe. Oh damn. So anyway, he has pigs, he has a farm and he's just like, I'm a hard working country guy. I love when people from the country and people make fun of New Yorkers, we're like, I'm from New York, which is so valid, but like country people are like, do you like a country song? Cause that's all I'm looking for in a girl. Would you listen to a country song with me and just sit out by the country and talk about the country? And talk about how those city folks are so weird, but we got the country. We got sunsets.

• 33:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:44Hannah Berner?

  And trees. So anyway, Wade's doing his thing. She comes into his life. She love, they like, it's quick.

• 33:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Quick.

• 33:53Hannah Berner?

  And she immediately is like, I have a lot of money, but I can't get it because of my trust, which if I had a nickel.

• 34:01Paige DeSorbo?

  If I had.

• 34:06Paige DeSorbo?

  If I had a nickel.

• 34:08Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember there was a man in our life that was like, I can't get a tattoo or I won't get my trust?

• 34:16Hannah Berner?

  And we were like, that makes sense. So she's a combination of a lot of mental illnesses. First she's full, it's, it's very con man things. And I do have to say, I'm kind of obsessed with con men. I'm kind of obsessed because everyone else has to live with the reality and they're like, I won't, I'm just not. And when you believe it yourself, that shit's real for you.

• 34:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's why you don't align with Summer House.

• 34:40Hannah Berner?

  And that's why I told the cameraman to step back.

• 34:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I love people that don't live in reality. I'm like, guys.

• 34:47Hannah Berner?

  So she basically is like, "I'm loaded and I'm getting you a truck because I love you." So if you know a country man, there's nothing they love more than a truck.

• 34:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Hannah Berner?

  I told you once I met these country guys and they're like, "We're gonna come pick you up in our truck." And I was like, "A hub truck?" Like, I never know what a truck... I was like, "I'm from New York." Like, "You mean like a moving truck? Like, what are you talking about, a truck?" Just say SUV. Anyway. So he gets his big truck and then she wants to be sweet with the mom. So she somehow buys the mom this like really nice...

• 35:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Car.

• 35:18Hannah Berner?

  Car. Now, the mom, because she's a woman, is like, "Let's look into this a little." Because this is kind of strange that this girl's like a month in buying everyone things. And they're like, "No one paid for that car and we have to take it back."

• 35:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, got repossessed. Within like three weeks.

• 35:32Hannah Berner?

  You know what it is also with con men? They go so crazy that it's like so unrealistic that you can't wrap your head around it. Because then she goes, "I want to buy this like $20 million acre farm."

• 35:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Four million.

• 35:45Hannah Berner?

  And she sits the whole family down to like present it to them that she's gonna...

• 35:49Paige DeSorbo?

  On Christmas.

• 35:50Hannah Berner?

  On Christmas. And they have footage. That's why documentaries are so good nowadays. They have footage of everything.

• 35:55Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why Ben Stiller was like at the game with his sideways camera and just getting footage.

• 36:00Hannah Berner?

  I wouldn't have been surprised if Ben Stiller was at their Christmas holding his horizontal phone.

• 36:05Paige DeSorbo?

  We're about to make history.

• 36:06Hannah Berner?

  We're about to make history. And she's like, "I found this farm and we're gonna live." And everyone's kind of like, "Okay, go off. Like, we're proud of you guys. This is crazy."

• 36:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Have we ever been to Oklahoma?

• 36:17Hannah Berner?

  We've been to Oklahoma City.

• 36:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, right, right, right, right, right.

• 36:19Hannah Berner?

  Which is Oklahoma. But Kansas City's not in Kansas. It's in Missouri. I digress.

• 36:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and you know what?

• 36:25Hannah Berner?

  And you know what?

• 36:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know what? Whoever was going through something on that day that that got named...

• 36:32Hannah Berner?

  They go, "You know how we're gonna confuse those New Yorkers, those dumb New Yorkers? We're gonna call Kansas and Missouri. We'll throw them. They'll never find us." So then she's like, "I don't fuck with my mom." Which, look, there are people who have bad relationships with their mom, totally fine. But she's like, "My mom's trying to steal my trust. My mom is the worst person in the world. My mom's evil." And the mom's nowhere to be found. In any event, the mom's not invited.

• 36:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought we were gonna see the mom at some point.

• 37:01Hannah Berner?

  Well, finally, someone contacts the mom. And the mom is basically like, "That bitch is crazy."

• 37:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:08Hannah Berner?

  She's like, "But I can't say anything, "'cause then I won't be able to see my granddaughter."

• 37:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Which made so much sense.

• 37:16Hannah Berner?

  Then we find out she has these other former friends. Do you wanna tell them about the former friends?

• 37:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you can keep going.

• 37:22Hannah Berner?

  Okay. So they're these former friends. And they... 'Cause you were on your phone the whole time.

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  'Cause I don't quite remember how they knew, how she knew the former friends.

• 37:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, they were just like friends, and one of them gets pregnant. And she became obsessed with her pregnancy.

• 37:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes, and she was just like, she was being so weird, I had to distance myself, which... Look, I know on this podcast, we're all about like, pointing out the things that men do, and we're like always all for the girls. But if you get a gut feeling about a girl, that is not being not a girl's girl, that is not being like a mean girl. If you get a gut feeling about someone, nine times out of ten, it is right.

• 38:08Hannah Berner?

  And she basically was like, "She was being so fucking weird about my pregnancy." And then, she started working for a company. And her boss had a daughter who passed away. She tells the boss, "I had a daughter who passed away." And they like bond over it. The boss somehow finds out she's lying about it, also finds out she's never done a slick of work since she's been there. Like, she's just fucking around, not doing calls, not doing meetings. But I guess she's charismatic.

• 38:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't illegal.

• 38:38Hannah Berner?

  It's not illegal, and also, I'm like, "Good for her."

• 38:40Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not the bad thing here.

• 38:44Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's not why she's a bad person.

• 38:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait Hannah and I were on a Zoom.

• 38:50Hannah Berner?

  No, I can't go on Zooms with you anymore. Like we actually.

• 38:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I actually, that was my worst one. That was my worst one.

• 38:58Hannah Berner?

  I have to pull up your.

• 39:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Texted Hannah and I go, I literally don't know what's going on in this Zoom. And then I said something during the Zoom and then I realized that everyone knew I didn't know what was going on because they laughed at me. I was said, and all I said was, I'm so excited. And they go.

• 39:16Hannah Berner?

  They're so on to you. Like, cause all this happened, then you go, I, I love school. Like you said something crazy. You were like, and.

• 39:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I said, I'm so excited too. And they go, okay.

• 39:28Hannah Berner?

  Okay. I have an earnest question to ask you. Could you tell that I was online shopping during it?

• 39:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I thought you were gonna text me back, but you didn't. So like, I saw you looking at something and I was like, oh, obviously something's more important. But I didn't, obviously didn't know you were online shopping.

• 39:43Hannah Berner?

  There was, but yeah, you were like, I actually have no idea what is, what is going on. Also, you're like obsessed with sending me invisible text messages, which is like actually giving me a next level adrenaline hit. Like now when I see one coming in, I'm like, oh, like I freak out. You have certain friend groups in your life that really give, actually shout out to all the friend groups that are out here doing the work. So that like, when you're in your like peaceful era, you can, like I have a friend. Her name's Ally.

• 40:15Paige DeSorbo?

  And every, and sometimes me and Hannah will be on the phone and I'll say to Hannah, we're, we're so, we're so vibing and we're so content. And we're like, wow, we're really like working so hard in our lives. And like, I just like feel real peace right now. And I'll say, why don't you text Ally? See if she's got a little something for us.

• 40:35Hannah Berner?

  Ally keeps me fed, like to the point that she'll tell me something like really upsettingly crazy. And I just go, I just want you to know, thank you. Thank you for making me feel alive in my, in my heart and in this moment. Um, so shout out to Ally for having fun. Cause like she's single.

• 40:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. She's, she's out there.

• 40:52Hannah Berner?

  She's in the streets doing work.

• 40:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:55Hannah Berner?

  She could have been the Knicks parade today. Who knows? She's everywhere.

• 40:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, one of my girlfriends was at the Knicks parade and she's my friend. And I'm like, I'll text and be like, what are your girlfriends fighting about?

• 41:05Hannah Berner?

  Well, I've actually tried to infiltrate her friend group too, cause she hangs out like with the Knicks fans all the time.

• 41:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. This pod is about us finding other people that have stuff going on and then spilling it on the pod. I'm like, guys, I know a girl. You're not gonna believe this. But anyway, so finally, this girl tells Wade, our little country bumpkin Wade, that she's pregnant.

• 41:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I like don't hate the name Wade.

• 41:32Hannah Berner?

  I don't hate it, but I don't love it. It's giving do- it's giving like Mormon. It's giving like douchey Mormon, like the cool Mormon guy who like if he was in a normal city, everyone would be like, why is he talk like that? But in Mormon town, they're like, it's Wade, and he's like, what's up, guys?

• 41:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he's like quirky and he's fun.

• 41:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 41:50Paige DeSorbo?

  He's got like a really good personality, but he's not the cutest, but his girlfriend's gorgeous. That's like Wade from Utah.

• 41:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah. Also, why is his name Dakota? Like, no one addresses it. The whole, no one's ever said, hey, how did we get here?

• 42:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, cuz you're saying cuz you think that's a girl's name?

• 42:10Hannah Berner?

  No, just cuz I, like, that's the kind of thing you say, give me the backstory.

• 42:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:15Hannah Berner?

  Like, you don't just let someone say, my name's Dakota, and you go, oh, obviously. No.

• 42:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I need to be with you the next time you say to someone, and why don't you give me the backstory on that one? Cuz there's gotta be something here. No one's just, no one's just at the hospital saying, honey, what about Dakota?

• 42:35Hannah Berner?

  Well, this is the thing about Dakota on Mormon Housewives. Literally takes till the reunion for him to be like, by the way, I was on heroin for 10 years. And we're like, we don't talk about that. I'm like, this is a huge part of why he's brain dead and no one talks about it. I'm like, the guy has been struggling in active addiction and everyone's just like, well, I think he, he's trying to survive.

• 42:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but he's also the worst.

• 42:56Hannah Berner?

  And he's the worst.

• 42:58Paige DeSorbo?

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• 43:42Paige DeSorbo?

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• 44:26Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:11Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:23Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming in Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to-do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy. So that part is already handled in the background. So then I can

• 46:07Hannah Berner?

  focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 46:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Today's episode is sponsored by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. We won podcast of the year, we wrote a book, we have a tour, we have a company. Technically, we are business women now. And honestly, that's terrifying because you don't build a company out of giggling without eventually having to learn how money works. We learned in public, mostly by getting things wrong at first, like finding out our money could be earning money just by sitting there. Because apparently having money sit in a checking account doing absolutely nothing is not a financial strategy. That's where SoFi can help. SoFi Checking and Savings can help your money actually work harder for you. You can earn a competitive APY with eligible direct deposit and there are no account fees.

• 46:59Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:38Hannah Berner?

  But anyway, so she says Wade, my country bumpkin Wade, I'm pregnant. And he's like, I didn't really want a daughter, but here we are. It's a whatever. But then she starts doing the thing where she's like, you can't come to this, you can't come to the doctor with me. She sends a ultrasound to someone that, and the date is 2016. And the lady, they just met this girl, so they're, they're like questioning everything. So they, they tell her, hey, why does it say 2016? She immediately responds and is like, oh, there was a mistake at the hospital. This happens.

• 48:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause it's like 2019, right?

• 48:19Hannah Berner?

  I think it was after COVID. It was maybe, I don't know, but it was past 2016. So she's, she's been a little sloppy. So people are kinda on to her. And then some photos, she looks pregnant, some she doesn't. She does a whole photo shoot with a fake belly. And the craziest thing about it is Wade has never seen her stomach. He's like, she doesn't let me touch her. She doesn't let me have sex with her. How is there not one moment in those nine months that he was like, can I see the baby's stomach?

• 48:51Paige DeSorbo?

  They didn't have sex for nine months?

• 48:53Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, Wade's like, she's not letting me touch her cause she's insecure, cause she's, she's pregnant and I respect her space. I'm like, she's just eating a lot of Cheetos.

• 49:02Paige DeSorbo?

  At what point are you not having sex with your husband where like, then you're saying something? Like, how long are you going?

• 49:11Hannah Berner?

  Before you're like, oh, we should talk about this?

• 49:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Nine months?

• 49:18Hannah Berner?

  No, no, that's crazy.

• 49:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That's crazy.

• 49:21Hannah Berner?

  Wade is busy on the farm. Wade's been on the farm and she.

• 49:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I'm going a month tops.

• 49:27Hannah Berner?

  Well, he said she would just like go in the bathroom and like put the shower on and then be like on her computer, like making up lies. But also in the meantime, she had to make money. So what she did was she became a photographer. And she became a wedding photographer.

• 49:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes I, sometimes when you describe what happens in documentaries, I, I think, did I watch this?

• 49:50Hannah Berner?

  That's like when Grace posts memes from the episode and literally you say things, I'm like, I never heard her say that. Like the funniest line in the world, I'm like, I wasn't there for that. I didn't, don't hear your comeback.

• 50:02Paige DeSorbo?

  If someone calls me after we record Giggly Squad and says like, oh, what'd you talk about on Giggly Squad? I go, I have no idea.

• 50:09Hannah Berner?

  No, Grace is like, what should we title this? And I was like, I don't remember one word that we said, like not one topic. Um, so she does this, she, and she meets this family and she shoots their wedding and it's, and I guess shortly thereafter, the bride gets pregnant and they like stayed in touch a little bit. So she's pregnant, this one's saying she's pregnant.

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  And then everyone who's doubting her pregnancy is like, okay, like, what is she gonna do? It's like seven months, eight months.

• 50:44Paige DeSorbo?

  We're nearing the due date.

• 50:46Hannah Berner?

  Due date happens and I think she was apparently Googling like, where to adopt a brand new baby.

• 50:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Like you could Uber Eats one?

• 50:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, literally. She was like, fresh baby near me, like, and I guess she was trying to get, who knows? But like, how do you go nine months without at least like having a plan of that? I don't know. But the crazy thing with this documentary is it starts with her in a car, getting stopped by the cops, saying, I just had a baby in my car. Now, I'm not gonna tell you guys any more information because I don't want to give it away, but um, shit gets really fucking crazy.

• 51:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:25Hannah Berner?

  And I, you know, guys know I don't want to drop an F-bomb for no reason. That was worth it.

• 51:30Paige DeSorbo?

  One thing I will say about the documentary, all the moms that are in it, that are like the, the talking heads that are like explaining the story to you are all the most, like, so, like, when the girls were speaking, the women, I had to turn the TV up because everyone was so soft spoken, like Wade's mom, obsessed. I love Wade's mom.

• 51:53Hannah Berner?

  Wade's mom.

• 51:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And then Wade's mom's friend, who was like, ah, something's going on here, I'm gonna figure it out.

• 52:02Hannah Berner?

  Imagine being soft spoken. Maybe people would listen to me more.

• 52:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine not having the sound of a vo- of your voice just be nails on a chalkboard to some people. Like sometimes like our, okay, sometimes like our clips on TikTok from the pod will be like posted by like some random account, like not us. It'll be like a random clip they took from the pod. And there will be a rogue comment with, of someone who has no idea who we are, just like horrible voices. How do you listen? Like, and I'm just like valid, like.

• 52:32Hannah Berner?

  No, but I feel like our voices, our voices aren't that bad.

• 52:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but like, everybody hates their own voice. I feel like, so when you see a comment like, her voice sucks, you're like, nah, I'm like, okay.

• 52:45Hannah Berner?

  That's why we change our voices sometimes. I also posted on my, I'm gonna start posting on my Instagram stories more often, like the docs I'm watching. So people, cause people get annoyed when they're like, Hannah, we don't know what you're watching and then you tell it. So I posted also, there's this, you, I don't know, you might like it. It's a model cult in New York City. Um, on HBO and it was about like this guy who was an astrologist psychic, like former model who was obsessed with beautiful things and beautiful people. And he just wanted a cult of like really beautiful people around him. So just like a hot people.

• 53:19Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a club promoter. That's a literal club promoter.

• 53:22Hannah Berner?

  He literally was a club promoter.

• 53:23Paige DeSorbo?

  That's any guy you meet that's like, I work in nightlife.

• 53:27Hannah Berner?

  Literally. And this guy becomes like one of the biggest models in the world and he gave all his money to him. Um, that's where they get you with the cults. Like somehow they convince everyone to give them their money.

• 53:40Paige DeSorbo?

  So speaking of cults, are you done with Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

• 53:45Hannah Berner?

  I have like six more episodes left right now. Ta- oh my God, Taylor's like just slept with Dakota and she's like preparing for the bachelorette.

• 53:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I'm sorry that you're almost done.

• 53:58Hannah Berner?

  But I didn't realize that whole season is so like about leading up to the bachelorette.

• 54:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You felt more awful for her that they didn't air it because watching her. Him so strategically like sleep with her before and.

• 54:12Hannah Berner?

  But that's the problem of getting in bed with someone, like if they're your actual op.

• 54:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:17Hannah Berner?

  Like they have everything on you and they can use it against you. So it's like, do you want someone who protects you from your darkness? Or brings it to the light? Why did that become a spell?

• 54:31Hannah Berner?

  But I also realized these poor girls, they didn't get breaks from filming.

• 54:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they went right into it. I was just gonna say that. So they're not, they haven't filmed another season yet.

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  Well, I think for their sanity, that would be really good, but I, I really think like, that's why the seasons are so good, because they didn't take breaks. So you know when like, you watch seasons of a TV show and you're like, that was a different director on that one, or like, because it was all the same, like it all felt like every season was equal to me.

• 54:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, now that Love Island is such a huge phenomenon, both in America and like, there's franchises all over the world. It makes it annoying to watch reality TV, months and months later because of social media, so you know so much more. Where it's like, okay, you, they have the capabilities of being able to watch it somewhat in real time. Because I think Mormon wives tried to do it, they did it the closest I've seen in a while. Like they filmed and then it was out and you were like, that was really fast.

• 55:30Hannah Berner?

  But I do have to say, competition shows, the storylines are easier. It's like, these people stay, these people go. Where these shows, they have to like, create narratives. I mean, we do know that they edit as they see what the fandom says. Like they change narratives. So like, that is kind of doing it. But, ooh, these editors are like.

• 55:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it would be, it would, I think it would make more shows real. Because they couldn't go back and be like, let's actually not even include that in that episode, because that will make her point in a later episode valid and we can't have that. That's crazy. Why would we have that?

• 56:14Hannah Berner?

  Also, one thing about Swig, if you guys don't know what Swig is, it's this like soda company. Where they put like milk and shit in it and like syrup.

• 56:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I never got that milk part of it, but anyway.

• 56:25Hannah Berner?

  My question is, how sweet is that? They're like.

• 56:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, you would die.

• 56:30Hannah Berner?

  Even when people put one vanilla, like thing in an espresso or a latte, I'm like.

• 56:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like you, when's the last time you had a sip of Coca-Cola?

• 56:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I don't, I don't really dabble.

• 56:42Paige DeSorbo?

  But even like a sip ski?

• 56:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'll have a sip.

• 56:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but you're never like drinking a full, if you're getting a carbonated or like a soda, you're never drinking a whole thing.

• 56:51Hannah Berner?

  I don't think I've ever drank a full Coke. Cause my mom's a dietitian. She was like, your teeth are gonna.

• 56:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god Hannah.

• 56:59Hannah Berner?

  That's not my vice.

• 57:00Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why you don't break out.

• 57:01Hannah Berner?

  Whitney and I did ketamine once. No, but oh my god, I went, you know how some coffee shops, the caffeine just hits differently?

• 57:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:10Hannah Berner?

  I went to a coffee shop yesterday and all I wanted to do was start my day right. And I got two shots of espresso in a chai latte. I was being a little crazy, but like.

• 57:19Paige DeSorbo?

  That's crazy for you.

• 57:21Hannah Berner?

  I know, but like nothing that should send me to the hospital. When I tell you, I was.

• 57:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Out of your skin?

• 57:28Hannah Berner?

  I was laying in the bathroom.

• 57:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, two shots of espresso is insane.

• 57:33Hannah Berner?

  Paige, I got home, like, I, lying in the bathroom, butters looking at me and I was like, I was like getting my affairs in order.

• 57:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Were you sweating?

• 57:41Hannah Berner?

  Sweating. Shitting myself, getting up, dizzy, walking into walls. That was my whole morning.

• 57:50Paige DeSorbo?

  When was this?

• 57:51Hannah Berner?

  Yesterday.

• 57:53Paige DeSorbo?

  What time of day?

• 57:54Hannah Berner?

  Look, I battle things that I sometimes don't, I can't keep you up with everything. Cause sometimes I wanna protect you.

• 58:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you wanna know what? We talked a lot this week.

• 58:02Hannah Berner?

  We did, and actually, but you've been good, cause we'll start really gabbing and you go, we need to save it for the pod and we'll just hang up on each other.

• 58:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we had, the other night, we had to hang up because I could've kept going.

• 58:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Um, hot take, I actually am really liking dogs right now that have like eyebrows.

• 58:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, they have a story to tell. You know, they could be the narrator of a hit Netflix show. You know, like they, they have an aesthetic, they have a vibe.

• 58:34Hannah Berner?

  He's a Depperman.

• 58:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I love a dog with an accessory.

• 58:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like he literally got his brows done.

• 58:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a golden retriever wearing a pair of goggles. Yeah, I'm in, I'm not a monster, okay? I'm not a monster.

• 58:51Paige DeSorbo?

  But am I taking you home with me?

• 58:53Hannah Berner?

  A distinguished gentleman with his eyebrows and then they look like they're judging you sometimes. They're like, ew. And I'm like, I love that.

• 58:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like German shepherds, German shepherds have jobs. They work for the police. Like they pay taxes.

• 59:06Hannah Berner?

  Mm hmm. And they love working. Like they wake up and they're like, let me work. Where cats are like, I don't know your name. I didn't sign up for this. Someone said, like, literally, you, you never tell your cat what to do. And it's so true.

• 59:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what's funny about having a cat is I do feel like it is, any pet, really. It is like a little bit of a precursor to kids, not that it's comparable at all. But like, I can imagine when you're trying to like reverse psychology a child. Like when I want Kitty to stay in the room, like I have to reverse psychology her as if like, I'm not gonna shut the door. So I mean, I'm just gonna like walk over here and then she comes in and then I'm like, gotcha. And like, I am shutting the door so that you can't leave. There is a lot of, where like with dogs, I feel like you can just be like, come, sit, shut up.

• 59:56Hannah Berner?

  No, the second the cat knows you want them to come, they're like, suddenly I'm not in the mood.

• 1:00:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I'm like, and then I'm looking around and then she's looking. The amount of times that me and Daphne are home alone, looking around, would send you, would be astonishing to you.

• 1:00:13Hannah Berner?

  Also, because cats have like, um, ways that they do things, like rituals and routines. So like, Butter doesn't just sit on my shoulder. She does a whole like pretends like she's not going to, then she comes back in and then she.

• 1:00:25Paige DeSorbo?

  They're performers.

• 1:00:26Hannah Berner?

  Not that Giggly Squad is the culture, however, there's a movie coming out of, it's, it's basically like a cat godfather movie, like it's a cat mafia movie. And I was like, this could not be more Giggly Squad coded. It's a bunch of cats in the mob. Did you see it?

• 1:00:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I almost felt like.

• 1:00:46Hannah Berner?

  Give us a producer credit.

• 1:00:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally, I go, how about a producer credit?

• 1:00:50Hannah Berner?

  I go, Italian cats.

• 1:00:51Paige DeSorbo?

  We are mafia cats. Like, I actually got like a little annoyed when I watched the trailer. I was like, okay, so you guys listen to Giggly Squad.

• 1:01:02Paige DeSorbo?

  To say it.

• 1:01:02Hannah Berner?

  They were like, what if we get a bunch of cute cats who are also Italian and want revenge on each other?

• 1:01:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, so, I'm like, wait, so the whole theme is revenge? Okay. Okay.

• 1:01:13Hannah Berner?

  But also, I feel like I need to watch it. That should make me laugh. So anyway, final thought.

• 1:01:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:20Hannah Berner?

  Big glasses, big sunglasses are back. I'm not happy because I have a small head, even though my personality looks like I have a big head. I actually have a small head, not to brag, don't be jealous. But like, I can't pull off big glasses. I look like a mosquito.

• 1:01:32Paige DeSorbo?

  You can, Hannah. You can.

• 1:01:34Hannah Berner?

  I like little country ones.

• 1:01:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Really? Because I feel like you would love the big ones if you got a good pair of big ones, because you can hide your whole face with them. Like, no, it's so nice. Like, in the morning when you're like, I'm walking to get my coffee, and you're like, I'm not trying to interact with anyone. It's like, yeah, I have my glasses on, please.

• 1:01:51Hannah Berner?

  You just feel like Paris Hilton after a night out, trying to get away from the paparazzi.

• 1:01:55Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like what a mask was in 2020.

• 1:01:59Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 1:01:59Paige DeSorbo?

  But the other end of your face. It's just like, please, I can't right now. We can't speak. I have my big glasses on.

• 1:02:04Hannah Berner?

  What glasses are you bringing to Italy? Because I know you lost one of your glasses. And I wasn't gonna bring it up, and I held it for the whole pod.

• 1:02:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I did lose a pair of my glasses, and I reordered them. They actually got delivered this morning. Because I hate losing things.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm doing all my Italy packing next week. I can't even think of it.

• 1:02:24Hannah Berner?

  I can't. I can't talk about that, right?

• 1:02:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't. I can't talk about that.

• 1:02:27Hannah Berner?

  Well, we love you guys. Have the best weekend ever. Thanks for giggling with us, and we'll talk to you later. Bye.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends. Everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavor. White Claw's also work, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:02:54Hannah Berner?

  Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 1:02:58Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.