Giggling about bullies, blind spots, and red carpets

We finally decided on the theme of the summer and we're car shopping for Hannah. Big shoutout to Dunkin’ for making this episode possible. #sponsoredbyDunkin watch our youtube series sign up for our newsletter order our book

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This podcast is supported by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. You know that one friend who's always there and actually does the thing they say they'll do? This is that, but healthcare. At Planned Parenthood Health Centers, providers, staff, and volunteers still show up even under relentless attacks every day to make sure patients can get the care they need. They'll keep showing up no matter what, and now they're asking you to join them. Make a gift of any size at PlannedParenthood.org/defend. This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling, and it's one of the best feelings ever.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:05Speaker 01

  At Lowe's, this Veterans Day and every day, military members, veterans, and their spouses get automatic MyLowe's Rewards Silver Status benefits. Plus, 10% off eligible purchases with no annual limit. It's one way we honor and give back to those who have served and still do. Learn more and verify now at Lowe's.com/military. 10% discount can't be combined with another offer. Exclusions, terms, and conditions apply. Loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details at Lowe's.com/TERMS. Subject to change.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Sup, Giggler?

• 1:37Speaker 02

  Carrie, fix the Wi-Fi.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Manifest that shit.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Be campy-nanny.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:50Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my giggly G-Wagons?

• 1:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like you've seen a lot of G-Wagons going to the Hamptons.

• 1:56Hannah Berner?

  Oh my God, it's so many of the same cars. As a fellow driver, I'm like, hi, hi, fellow drivers.

• 2:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I didn't even put that together. I'm like, what in the hell?

• 2:08Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing, I passed on Friday, and we've moved on.

• 2:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Congratulations. What does it feel like?

• 2:15Paige DeSorbo?

  To be a citizen.

• 2:17Hannah Berner?

  Love when you interview me. Oh, like a partially functioning adult.

• 2:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like a contributing member of society.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  Hopefully, I don't contribute too much because then people won't be safe. But, um, you know, I thought about this because a lot of people are listening, thinking, Hannah, how did you do this? How did you overcome your fears?

• 2:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Where did you take it again?

• 2:39Hannah Berner?

  Wantwa, Long Island.

• 2:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 2:41Hannah Berner?

  I want to let people know, mental health moment. I passed my driver's test at thirty-three. I've, I am an inspiration.

• 2:52Hannah Berner?

  In that, you know, when you just like define yourself as something like, I'm Hannah. I'm many things.

• 3:02Hannah Berner?

  But driver, I am not.

• 3:06Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, she's quirky, she's silly, but she can't drive. And that's Hannah. Like, that's who I am. And I said, who am I to question that?

• 3:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I really wish that every time you met someone, a fifteen second, like.

• 3:20Hannah Berner?

  She's silly. She's cool. She likes to go to school.

• 3:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like it's new girl, like, and it's just a good day. Like, I wish, like, you knew what you were getting into, kind of, like. What did they pick tonally, like?

• 3:32Hannah Berner?

  What's the aesthetic? It's like a trailer before you go on a date, like what the relationship's gonna be? No, that was me. That was my character. And then I stopped and I said, you know what? I can change myself today. I can be someone new today. And look, is it off-brand? Was it off-brand for me to get married? Yeah, everyone's still confused about it. But you know what? I keep people on their fucking toes. Just when you think you get a hold of me. I've changed and I've evolved, but I, I'd say this summer is my mental health summer of improving as a person.

• 4:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You're kidding. I didn't know that.

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  I didn't say it out loud because it wasn't really happening.

• 4:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Was, sorry, let me just back it up here. Was this an intention?

• 4:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Nope. Let me put it in reverse. Let me three-point turn it for a minute.

• 4:26Hannah Berner?

  I know exactly what you're referencing.

• 4:29Hannah Berner?

  Parallel it for me, parallel it. But make sure you check your blind spot.

• 4:37Hannah Berner?

  Wait, why is that gonna stick? Check your blind spot.

• 4:42Hannah Berner?

  Not me checking my blind spot 800 times. The driver says like, did you see, there's a blind spot. You gotta check, check it again.

• 4:46Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, that's the one piece of advice my dad gave me before I went to take my road test. He was like, I think you're gonna fail. Everyone in our family thinks you're gonna fail, but keep checking your blind spot.

• 4:57Hannah Berner?

  We have the same family. We have the same family. And for people who don't know, I did pass it once when I was 24, but I rammed the curb at the end and my dad was like, I don't feel safe with you on the road. So I never had actual confidence. And I basically was like, look, I'm getting lessons and I'm actually going to have confidence in my driving and become a good driver.

• 5:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Hannah Berner?

  Dez and I must have parallel parked like 100 times.

• 5:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it is a sport, like it is actually a sport. Like there's NASCAR, there's F1.

• 5:29Hannah Berner?

  F1.

• 5:29Paige DeSorbo?

  So like it is out of your character to not drive and to also not be like amazing at it, I feel like.

• 5:39Hannah Berner?

  Also, cuz I'm from New York City, not to play the New York City card, but like a lot of my friends don't have licenses.

• 5:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. You don't need them.

• 5:46Hannah Berner?

  So at 33, like I can only be so good at driving with the lack of experience that I've been in a car. Like at one point Dez was like, how do you not have spatial awareness? And I'm like, cuz I literally sleep every time I'm in a car.

• 6:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you wanna know what it's almost slightly similar to, which you hate?

• 6:05Hannah Berner?

  Don't say frisbee.

• 6:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Skiing.

• 6:09Hannah Berner?

  No, you're so right.

• 6:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because you do have to have, like, you have to check your blind spot. You have to have such like spatial awareness.

• 6:18Hannah Berner?

  And like one mistake, you could die.

• 6:21Paige DeSorbo?

  One tree, you're out. Wow, that got dark.

• 6:26Hannah Berner?

  But like, that's why I love, I love jazz, I love stand-up. You could, you kind of mess your way into it, make mistakes, but keep going. This, there's no room for error. And especially learning older, like, I feel like when you're 16, you're like, all the kids are doing it, let's go to Sonic and...

• 6:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you're also, similar to skiing, you're not as nervous to fall. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're not...

• 6:47Hannah Berner?

  You get right back up.

• 6:48Paige DeSorbo?

  When you're 16, you're like, oh, didn't even know, I almost just got off like a one-way. Like, oopsie. But when you're an adult, you're like, all, everyone will die.

• 6:59Hannah Berner?

  And when you crash when you're 16, your parents do the paperwork for you. Like, I have to deal with the paperwork now. Like, I didn't realize, like, I have to deal with insurance.

• 7:08Paige DeSorbo?

  One time I was like, I think I was like 17, I might have even been, I might have even been 18. And I was pulling out of a parking spot and someone was like driving by, and I mean, I rammed right into them.

• 7:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I rammed into like the back of their car, though, not like, I didn't like...

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  You didn't get like their whole family.

• 7:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I didn't like T-bone them or anything. I literally hit like the bumper. But I got out of the car, and that was the first time I'd ever done that or ever been in like an accident like that.

• 7:36Hannah Berner?

  Fender bender.

• 7:37Paige DeSorbo?

  And I cried so much because I was in such shock of like that I did that to this lady, that she literally was like, it's less hassle to deal with you.

• 7:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm just gonna go.

• 7:56Hannah Berner?

  She's like, I'm gonna pay you to leave me alone.

• 7:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, wait a minute, let me call my dad, like, I'll know exactly what to do. I think she also heard my dad being like, god damn it.

• 8:08Hannah Berner?

  You go, can you hold my hand and we pray to Saint Anthony together? She's like, leave me alone. Don't get religion into this.

• 8:14Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like, are you kidding me? I'm like, okay, so I like, I need to come here?

• 8:22Hannah Berner?

  I also, I had a really bad, embarrassing driving test experience when, how old was I? A couple of years ago, where I was practicing with Dez and Dez was like, you're not ready. And I wasn't ready and I was trying to just like win it, like I did the previous one. And I just immediately started and took a too tight of a turn and the guy was like, you're going too fast and I was too tight of a turn, turn around.

• 8:48Paige DeSorbo?

  You're done.

• 8:49Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, what?

• 8:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You're done.

• 8:51Hannah Berner?

  You're done. When I tell you, and it's so embarrassing, there's a line of like 40 cars, everyone's watching you. Clearly I fucked up so bad. He was like, I've seen what I needed to see. I've seen what I needed to see. So like you're embarrassed. Anyway. But of course, you know, with me, it's never, there's always a little bit of drama.

• 9:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  So we get there, I'm feeling good. I take my beta blocker, it's kicking in. I'm feeling zen as fuck, like the calmest you could be. And the way the test starts is there's a red light in front of a really busy road. And I'm in my head, I'm like, trigger blind spot, like make sure you cross over the arms. T, don't T bone anyone. Like I have a bazillion things in my head. We're at the red light and all these cars are passing by and then the cars, there's no cars, but it's still red light. And I'm like in my head, like, I think you're supposed to turn right on red in Long Island. But this was, I did not factor this into the test. Like I was like,

• 9:53Hannah Berner?

  like hardwiring, not sure what to do, but I'm like, it's okay. It'll turn red eventually. Like, I mean, it'll turn green soon. It felt like ten minutes. I'm sitting in silence with this guy.

• 10:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyone behind you?

• 10:05Hannah Berner?

  I think there was, but no one was honking, but like, it was the beginning of the test and I just basically was like, I couldn't get myself to go on a red light. Like, I just felt, I just freaked out and just froze.

• 10:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because that is too, not to defend you, but like, in New York, it is different all over. Like, in New York City, you can't go right on red. In Albany, you can go right on red. In Long Island, like, I don't know if you can in Long Island.

• 10:28Hannah Berner?

  In my head, you can, you're supposed to. But I don't, cuz when in doubt, I will be fearful.

• 10:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:36Hannah Berner?

  When in high-pressure situations, I will be scared. And I was immediately like, I'm not going, I'm not moving.

• 10:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I will freeze.

• 10:43Hannah Berner?

  I will freeze.

• 10:46Hannah Berner?

  When a challenge comes my way, I will be paralyzed. I'm paralyzed.

• 10:51Hannah Berner?

  I will fold like a cheap beach chair under the pressure. So Dez is watching this like, oh my fucking god. Like, he's like, she's already fucked up.

• 10:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, how is he watching?

• 11:00Hannah Berner?

  So he leaves the car, and he's standing there and watches me leave to start the test.

• 11:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, got it.

• 11:06Hannah Berner?

  It's so, the whole thing's so embarrassing. Then also, you know me, I'm like, do I make a joke? Like, so the guy looks at me, I give him my ID, and he looks at me and he goes, is this you? Which is a weird thing to say, but I was wearing my hair in a ponytail, so I go, yep, that's just me with a ponytail now. And he like, kinda giggled. Cuz the gigglers told me to put my hair up and wear long earrings so they can see that you're checking all your mirrors.

• 11:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, the gigglers are witches.

• 11:35Hannah Berner?

  I pulled all the stops. And they were sardine earrings.

• 11:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You've never worn a long earring in your

• 11:41Hannah Berner?

  Never. I ordered sardine earrings, you would've hated them. But it made me like, funny, but also grounded. You know, like, I love animals. She loves classical music.

• 11:54Hannah Berner?

  Like, I was trying to be someone I wasn't in this road test.

• 12:00Paige DeSorbo?

  What was the outfit that you picked?

• 12:03Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god. So my driver, shout out Greg, who I have to get a present for, I'm so stressed. He told me not to dress too nice.

• 12:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 12:13Hannah Berner?

  As a woman. So like, they said the men to dress nice, like button up, but if you're a woman, if you dress too like sexy, they judge you. It's like literally female stand ups.

• 12:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 12:23Hannah Berner?

  That's what he said. So I just wore like a t-shirt and I'll say I wore basically what I'm wearing right now. I looked like a teenager.

• 12:32Paige DeSorbo?

  A t-shirt and shorts?

• 12:33Hannah Berner?

  T-shirt and shorts, hair up, surdy earrings. Actually, now they say it out loud.

• 12:40Hannah Berner?

  I don't trust that girl. I don't trust her at all. She's up to something. She's trying too hard.

• 12:48Hannah Berner?

  Nothing makes sense. You're not driving my child to school.

• 12:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you're making me die.

• 12:57Hannah Berner?

  So, so wait four hours for this red to turn green. No, but it felt like we're literally in silence and I'm like, you know, I've, I've, when was the last time I sat in silence?

• 13:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm literally, I have tears.

• 13:13Hannah Berner?

  So I get on the road and I am in the zone. Like, I'm like, you've trained your, you've trained all week for this. And like, also I didn't have to tell the gigglers. Like, I could have done this like undercover, but

• 13:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:26Hannah Berner?

  And yes, it added, it added so much more stress to my life, but it also, well, the reward is so much greater.

• 13:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And it also, I'm sure relieved a lot of stress.

• 13:36Hannah Berner?

  Relieve stress. Also, I felt like if I failed, at least it would be good content for Giggler Squad.

• 13:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank god.

• 13:41Hannah Berner?

  Thank god. So honestly, like, I was feeling myself. I was turning. He goes parallel park. I did it pretty far away from the curb, like, didn't try to get fancy, and then I drove up. Nailed the three-point turn, like beautifully.

• 13:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Those are always my favorite.

• 13:58Hannah Berner?

  No, I actually was like starting to have fun with it. I was like boopie boopie.

• 14:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You were like making it your own.

• 14:06Hannah Berner?

  Then you know when you start showing off and you're like, I want to do one more blind spot check just for fun.

• 14:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna twerk, back it up. You need anything? You're good? Okay.

• 14:18Hannah Berner?

  Welcome to the Hana Mobile. So then, we're turning back and I'm feeling like, I'm feeling the happiest I've ever felt in my life, like, better than my Netflix special, like, I, I don't know, I'm like, dreams do come true.

• 14:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Pure euphoria.

• 14:33Hannah Berner?

  I'm euphoric, but I'm also high as fuck on beta blockers. Also, is that legal, anyway? So, then he goes, "Okay, pull in," and does his standing there. And immediately, I'm like, "Do not hit the fucking curb," like, "Do not hit the fucking curb." So I like, pull in, and I'm like,

• 14:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Beautiful.

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  Far, far from the curb. I'm pretty far from the curb.

• 14:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 14:52Hannah Berner?

  Which is not good.

• 14:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:54Hannah Berner?

  But, I'm like, I nailed my parallel park, I nailed all my turns. But then the guy is like, "We don't tell you if you passed or failed." Um, you'll see it online tonight at 6pm, because apparently, New Yorkers have been assaulting the testing people when they failed. Like, the guy's like, "You failed," they'd be like, "What the fuck you talking about?" And like, Fight them.

• 15:16Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not funny.

• 15:18Hannah Berner?

  It's not funny.

• 15:21Paige DeSorbo?

  It's truly disgusting, is what it is.

• 15:25Hannah Berner?

  But also-

• 15:25Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, I need Andy and a camera.

• 15:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Because what the fuck do you mean that the goddamn DMV can't tell you if you passed or failed? Because they're afraid for their lives.

• 15:41Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, I'm wearing sardine earrings, like, I'm not hurting anybody. I'm like a cat, I'm more scared of you than you are, you know, like, but I also, I, I do understand, like, I don't want the people feeling like, if they tell someone they failed, that they might get hurt, that's fucking crazy.

• 15:59Paige DeSorbo?

  That's insane.

• 16:00Hannah Berner?

  But then I have to have diarrhea for the next six hours?

• 16:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. It's like, okay, well, why don't you send me the email in like,

• 16:05Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, can you give me a blink? Like, give me like, a, like-

• 16:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, you're good.

• 16:11Hannah Berner?

  Okay, but then, yeah, like, give me something, give me a smile.

• 16:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally be a girl's girl for once in your life.

• 16:16Hannah Berner?

  No, like, do you support women?

• 16:20Hannah Berner?

  You already know it's hard for us to drive. You already know we're struggling out here. And you already know also I'm PMS, I'm PMSing so bad. Actually, my period was four days late, so I'm pregnant at that point.

• 16:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, yeah.

• 16:35Hannah Berner?

  I have literally something baking.

• 16:36Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, sorry, where's the baby on board sticker?

• 16:40Hannah Berner?

  Mind you, the second I passed my test, I got my period. Cause you know when your body's like so stressed out, it like can't even ovulate? So anyway, he leaves the car and I walk out of the car and I look at Des and I'm like, she's that girl. I was like, she did it. He goes, that's crazy, cause the beginning and the end, the only parts I saw, you completely fucked up.

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and that man keeps you humble.

• 17:08Hannah Berner?

  And that man grounds me.

• 17:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, keeps your feet firmly planted. And it's, it's beautiful.

• 17:16Hannah Berner?

  But then, we obviously go to a diner after, as one does, after you take a road test in Wantaw, you find the nearest diner. And we sit there and I'm like, I passed. And he's like, you didn't take a right on red and you, like, we're 200 feet from the curb at the end. He goes, that can't be good. So then we're Googling, like, we're deep in Reddit.

• 17:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, it's a series of points, right?

• 17:39Hannah Berner?

  And it's literally not to say like, I'm an Olympian, but like, it's giving Simone Biles, gymnastics, yeah, you made one mistake, but how many points do they feel like deducting that day? Cause yeah, if you do one bad turn, they could also deduct for careless driving, or like, they could, look.

• 17:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, the world is really their oyster.

• 18:00Hannah Berner?

  They can get on power trips and this man gave me nothing.

• 18:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Now that you passed, they should probably, probably be replaced by AI.

• 18:10Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, driving tests.

• 18:12Hannah Berner?

  Okay, Paige, that's...

• 18:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, did I go too hard? And actually, well, let's have your job taken away.

• 18:21Hannah Berner?

  And you're done. But also I was-

• 18:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You were mean to my friends, and so now I'm sending a robot.

• 18:28Hannah Berner?

  But also, I was trying to wait until like you basically get self-driving cars. And they basically have like self-driving cars now. But anyway, that's a whole nother scary issue. So we're sitting at the diner, literally like people saying like, yeah, if you don't turn a right on the red, that's considered like slowing down traffic, which is 10 points. I'm, I've convinced myself I failed at that point. Cause I've, Des, who's, you know, foot is on my neck.

• 18:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Who's told you?

• 18:56Hannah Berner?

  My biggest op, my biggest op at that point, doesn't believe in me, thinks I'm lying about it going well. He goes, so with the parking spot, how good did you park? I was like, I did it, I did it. And then I'm questioning myself, I'm like, did I do it?

• 19:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and this is how they get ya.

• 19:14Hannah Berner?

  And this is part of the driving test. You have to fight your own demons. Oh my god. So then, I'm going to my mom's play on Shelter Island for the Historical Society. She wrote, directed, acted, sang in it.

• 19:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You are literally a woman about town this summer. Like, you have galas, you have historical societies. Like, you're wearing Vivienne Westwood on a, on a Saturday evening. Like, I'm like, who is this person?

• 19:42Hannah Berner?

  I'm a suburban mother.

• 19:45Paige DeSorbo?

  You truly are.

• 19:46Hannah Berner?

  I'm a suburban mother, and I, yeah, I'm not working, but somehow I have the busiest summer I've ever had in my life. But I had to support my mother. And you know that's the only thing that I will-

• 19:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Drop everything for.

• 20:00Hannah Berner?

  Drop everything for, as she would for me, as she would for me.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  Right before her play, like you have to keep checking.

• 20:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's like getting into college.

• 20:10Hannah Berner?

  Literally, or like an STD test.

• 20:15Hannah Berner?

  You're crazy cuz you were like, tell me what time you find out. And I was like 6pm. 6pm on the dot, you text me and you go, what the fuck is going on?

• 20:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I said hello.

• 20:25Hannah Berner?

  Hello.

• 20:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Hello. Hello.

• 20:28Hannah Berner?

  And then like honestly, it was like rainbows, butterflies, I blacked out. I'm so happy. So now we're car shopping.

• 20:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you driven since?

• 20:37Hannah Berner?

  Next day, we go car shopping.

• 20:40Hannah Berner?

  Shortly realized to test drive, the guy goes in the car with you. And I'm like, bro.

• 20:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Respectfully, this is, it's PTSD. I just did this.

• 20:51Hannah Berner?

  No, cuz he's like, make a right up here. And I'm like, what are you judging me? Also like.

• 20:56Paige DeSorbo?

  How many points? Huh? How many?

• 20:58Hannah Berner?

  How many points was that? I feel like, why do you have to? I was like, can you not watch? Can you look over there when I turn? Like, don't look at me when I'm driving.

• 21:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Were you by yourself?

• 21:08Hannah Berner?

  I was with Dez in the front and then like the guy would be in the back and he'd be like, yeah, take a right up here. And I'm like, sir.

• 21:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:14Hannah Berner?

  Please, I've been around the block before. I've driven before. I drove yesterday. So we, Dez and I have solar panels.

• 21:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, imagine if you said like, oh, this is where I learned to drive, like in this parking lot. And he'd be like, oh, my God, are you from here? Like, did you go to high school? You're like, literally yesterday.

• 21:35Hannah Berner?

  Dez literally was like, she just passed her driving test. And the guy's like, oh, nice. And Dez is like, yesterday. And he's like, are you worried? And I'm like, no, but you should be. Um, I just like kept joking. But also, driving a new car you've never drove is like.

• 21:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah. No, you have to do.

• 21:50Hannah Berner?

  I was nervous. Like, I couldn't figure out something. I was nervous. But we wanna get an electric car. For me. Um, why am I fucking with the Kia?

• 22:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you?

• 22:01Hannah Berner?

  There's like a Kia E6 that like, looks cool. Cuz I don't think I should get.

• 22:08Paige DeSorbo?

  A nice car?

• 22:09Hannah Berner?

  Dez is not.

• 22:11Paige DeSorbo?

  A nice car guy?

• 22:13Hannah Berner?

  No, he is, but he's, look, I can get whatever car I want. But he's like, maybe we get a starter car before you get a big girl car.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't really think that like, yeah, it is kind of like giving a sixteen year old.

• 22:25Hannah Berner?

  Like, look, should I get a Lambo and let the gigglers just like hang off the side of it? Yeah, and run around New York City with my top down?

• 22:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, literally, if there's any car that I could vote for you to get, it's like a twenty sixteen Hummer.

• 22:47Hannah Berner?

  I go, I want an electric Kia, and you go, no, get a, get a Hummer.

• 22:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I used to want one of those so bad, and my dad was like, no.

• 22:55Hannah Berner?

  Those things don't even fit in New York City.

• 22:57Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like, no, you're not getting a frickin' Hummer.

• 23:01Hannah Berner?

  Try parallel parking with that.

• 23:02Paige DeSorbo?

  That was a car I wanted.

• 23:04Hannah Berner?

  But that was also like a very specific time in our culture where there was like.

• 23:08Paige DeSorbo?

  It was literally for six months I wanted it.

• 23:10Hannah Berner?

  There was like the bedazzled phones.

• 23:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I had to do.

• 23:13Hannah Berner?

  And the Hummer, the Motorola's, um, so, yeah, I'm thinking of like an electric car. And I'm, and I'm gonna keep testing them, but it's fun. I feel like an adult, like I feel like.

• 23:24Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I mean, you are.

• 23:25Hannah Berner?

  Sixteen to thirty.

• 23:27Paige DeSorbo?

  It's crazy how fast they grow up.

• 23:29Hannah Berner?

  I'm like grown, and I feel like, I don't know, like I'm like telling people directions now.

• 23:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I have been like, we live in each other's brains because like recently now I'm like, I haven't driven in so long. Do I remember how to drive? And like, I started getting nervous.

• 23:47Hannah Berner?

  No, don't let my insecurities creep up on you. But I do have to say, I've been getting messages from gigglers being like, hey, I'm thirty eight, I never drove. But if you could do it, it's given me confidence that I could do it. And I said, you know what? Period. So anyone, stay off the roads right now, because the gigglers are experimenting.

• 24:05Paige DeSorbo?

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• 24:50Paige DeSorbo?

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• 25:24Hannah Berner?

  We have to give credit where credit's due.

• 25:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's to Quince.

• 25:28Hannah Berner?

  We really love Quince. Everyone in our family loves Quince. And it's priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, which is what I get a high off of. I get a kick off of.

• 25:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And the holiday season is coming. If you don't know what to buy, someone truly just go to Quince. I actually gifted myself recently all new bath towels. Cause after a couple of years, you're like, gross, I gotta get new bath towels.

• 25:50Hannah Berner?

  What did you like about them?

• 25:52Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so big, like they're

• 25:55Hannah Berner?

  And they're like

• 25:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Thick, yeah. And they're like, yeah, I'll put me and my whole family in this towel.

• 26:01Hannah Berner?

  I need new towels, I'm gonna buy them. They also work directly with ethical factories and cut the middlemen. So that's how they're able to have such affordable and high quality. They have 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

• 26:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a navy blue one. It's always with me because it's small enough that like you can throw it in your bag, but it is warm enough that you don't need another piece.

• 26:21Hannah Berner?

  They also have really cool rugs.

• 26:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Hmm.

• 26:24Hannah Berner?

  I need to check out their rugs.

• 26:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I should.

• 26:25Hannah Berner?

  And they have really good like leather bags and jewelry. Like literally anything you want is at Quince.

• 26:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know the Giggly Squad sent you and support our show. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiatory gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiatory is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medical management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more.

• 27:15Paige DeSorbo?

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• 28:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 28:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I like to get in my morning routines. I feel like they're the most important routines of my day. Ritual Symbiotic Plus is not just a probiotic, it's truly a way of life. When you take it consistently, not only are you going consistently, but you can definitely feel the connection between your gut and your mental health. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get early access to Ritual's Black Friday sale for 40% off your first order when you visit ritual.com/giggly. That's ritual.com/giggly for 40% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 29:25Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, how are you?

• 29:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm good. Literally, let's start the pod.

• 29:30Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to one of my favorite outfits you've done.

• 29:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Which, what, oh, for Last Cultureist?

• 29:37Hannah Berner?

  Sophia Loren, adding the hat. It's not done a lot. Like, people aren't doing a matching hat. And it takes a particular head shape that most people don't have. It's the first thing I thought of.

• 29:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you.

• 29:52Hannah Berner?

  You had to get it custom, probably fitted?

• 29:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 29:56Hannah Berner?

  No, it fit your head perfectly, as it would. And you were like embodying the character. Tell us, tell us about this look.

• 30:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me tell you the story behind it. So Last Cultureist was doing their first ever televised award show. I'm not kidding, and you know me, I don't like being out of the house. I certainly don't like going to social events. I went by myself. I had to get on a plane to go.

• 30:23Hannah Berner?

  Basically Fiji.

• 30:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like nervous to go. I was like nervous about my look. It was, I felt like I was really like risking whatever. So on the invitation, it said 1940s themed. Like, it was 1940, the red carpet was supposed to be like 1940s glamour. So I was like, oh, if there's a theme, I'm doing the theme. And then when I walked in, I was like, oh, okay, so no one else wanted to do the theme. Got it. So like that is what first happened to me, so.

• 30:53Hannah Berner?

  You never mind being the most um well dressed in the room.

• 30:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, being like overdressed is mine. I would take being overdressed than underdressed any day of the week.

• 31:05Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 31:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I'd rather walk in someplace and people be like, oh my god, why is she wearing that here? And it'd be like a ball gown rather than like my.

• 31:13Hannah Berner?

  See, like me walking somewhere in a ball gown and everyone's in normal clothes, I'll have, that's my panic attack.

• 31:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It was so funny, like they are 100% going to get asked to host the Golden Globes. They, I ca- I don't want to give too much away because it's airing, I think it airs Oc- uh August 5th on Bravo and then it's on Peacock. I haven't laughed like that consecutively and like been happy to be out in so long and I literally, I'm like, oh my god, and I'm by myself. Like I'm having the best time with myself.

• 31:47Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 31:48Paige DeSorbo?

  So when I sat down, there was a si- there was two empty seats like on either side of me and Gabby, Wendy and her wife.

• 31:56Hannah Berner?

  Robbie.

• 31:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Robbie, Robbie Hoffman were sitting next to me. They were so nice to me. I like leaned over and was like, just want to say like I'm a huge fan of both of you. And Gabby immediately was like, did you come by yourself? Like you can sit next to us, but I was like, I think there's someone that's supposed to be sitting here. But they were so nice and I just, no, and it was just the best time ever. So once it airs, I will give like more spoilers about it. But it was just so much fun.

• 32:26Hannah Berner?

  You would get along with Robbie and Gabby because they are the reality TV comedy couple.

• 32:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I felt like it was like us.

• 32:34Hannah Berner?

  No, I love them so much. Oh, Paige almost spilled her entire Dunkin' refresher on Daphne.

• 32:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Except that I'm an actual, did you see that athleticism?

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  Let's do a replay on the YouTube, slow mo replay. Well, your fingers are so long, you like grabbed it with the tip of your finger.

• 32:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That was crazy.

• 32:53Hannah Berner?

  That was crazy.

• 32:54Paige DeSorbo?

  None even got on my floor.

• 32:55Hannah Berner?

  I mean, we're, look, it's a sports podcast. Um, no, but yeah, the look nailed it. It's funny, you were nervous about it and I was just immediately like, maybe it's because I. I do um have crazy looks on carpets. I was like, that's chill. That's a chill, nice, good look.

• 33:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I felt like it was like, I had this picture that I was trying to like, kind of recreate and I just like, felt like I just got back from Italy, like I was super tan. And it was just, and also here's the other thing on why I did it. It was girls and gays. It was a night for the girls and the gays.

• 33:26Hannah Berner?

  Also, there's, you don't need an explanation for anything, but I feel like you're in a creative place and I'm really inspired. I'm inspired by it. Um, can I have a quick wa- warning PSA? We've all been drinking from our Stanleys. I don't know if we all are washing our Stanley's property, properly. And by we, I mean me. And you too, are you putting your hand up as well? Okay. I thought that, you know, after I finished my Stanley, I put the water in it and it's washed. Somehow, I see the straw of my Stanley.

• 34:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm. And it's hum- it's humbling.

• 34:08Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:10Hannah Berner?

  Live animals are living in a full ecosystem in the straw of my Stanley. Like, and it's cuz I put my electrolytes in every day. So if you put sugar in it, which, that's all I'm doing. I'm drinking sugar with a little water.

• 34:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And God forbid you're a girl who wants to throw a lipstick on once in a while. It's like-

• 34:31Hannah Berner?

  God forbid you have-

• 34:33Paige DeSorbo?

  God forbid.

• 34:34Hannah Berner?

  A, a peach, you know, road lip tint.

• 34:38Paige DeSorbo?

  God forbid you have a literal peptide-

• 34:41Hannah Berner?

  A peptide.

• 34:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Going into your lip pores.

• 34:44Hannah Berner?

  When I tell you I've been just drinking straight mold from my Stanley, which by the way, tastes kinda good. Um, for who knows how long. So now I'm worried, like, am, do I have everything that TikTok says I have?

• 34:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, as a long time Stanley drinker, I, I would classify myself as, I went through this like epiphany a couple of months ago, and so I ended up ordering like a bunch of new, extra straws.

• 35:11Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you just throw it away.

• 35:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I throw them away, or like I, then I can like rotate washing them because it's like, okay, well, I can't take 15 minutes out of my day, every day to deal with the Stanley situation. Like, what do I look like? You know, I don't have kids. I don't have to go as hard. Like, I-

• 35:31Hannah Berner?

  Well, you, they have like Stanley straw cleaners that you can buy, which again, that's above my pay grade. Like, that's so organized to be like, oh, time to clean the straw, let me use my accessory. Like, we're not doing that. We're not doing that.

• 35:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm throwing everything in the dishwasher. I'm doing it the normal way, like with the, in the faucet, whatever.

• 35:49Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. You, you're pull out and pray. Pull out and pray.

• 35:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I have so many Stanleys now that I just like started rotating them.

• 35:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And I, I was like, because I can't.

• 36:01Hannah Berner?

  And your apartment's so big, you can fit so many Stanleys, as in like five of them.

• 36:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally think I might have five Stanleys.

• 36:08Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what this made me think about? What happened to juicing?

• 36:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Like juice cleansing?

• 36:15Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and like, do you remember when juices were like the thing? Like, every block in New York City was a juice store. And then the girls woke up one day-

• 36:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It was Gwyneth Paltrow. Remember when Gwen would do that like crazy juice cleanse? And she would say she would do it like once a year?

• 36:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. But then like people were doing it like every day, you should have a green juice and all this stuff. And now like one day woke up, no juices anywhere.

• 36:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember when everyone was doing celery juice?

• 36:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, that's insane.

• 36:43Paige DeSorbo?

  That was disgusting. Celery juice is disgusting.

• 36:45Hannah Berner?

  At least it was fruit.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  The thing with juicing is I think, I think it like was-

• 36:51Hannah Berner?

  It was a trend.

• 36:52Paige DeSorbo?

  There was such, there was so much sugar when you like did that to the fruits and vegetable.

• 36:56Hannah Berner?

  And it was actually like a lot of calories. It's like just eat an apple.

• 36:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and so I think it just kind of fell off.

• 37:02Hannah Berner?

  You don't need nine apples.

• 37:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Which you know what's so crazy, and this is way above our pay grade. This is above our pay grades pay grade.

• 37:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Why do the composition of fruit, like the sugar in fruit change? When you blend it into like a smoothie, or like juice it into a juice? It's like-

• 37:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Who told you to be that self-aware as a fruit?

• 37:23Hannah Berner?

  I feel like it loses nutrients when you-

• 37:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, how?

• 37:27Hannah Berner?

  I guess, cuz the, uh, oh my god, my brain just malfunctioned.

• 37:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like it gets mushed again.

• 37:33Hannah Berner?

  It's like the fiber, like, uh, oh my god, ow, something hurts. No, I hurt something in my head. I pulled something in my fucking forehead.

• 37:43Paige DeSorbo?

  You glitched and there was just a glitch.

• 37:45Hannah Berner?

  I just was like, wow, wow, power down, power down.

• 37:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, cuz I would drink a smoothie every single day, but I just feel like they're not actually good for you.

• 37:55Hannah Berner?

  No, it's dessert.

• 37:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm already so, I eat way too much sugar. Like, I love sugar.

• 38:01Hannah Berner?

  I love a banana strawberry smoothie, but my, like, trick is to throw peanut butter in it cuz then it tastes like a fucking cookie. And turns out, you shouldn't be having like tons of peanut butter every day in your smoothie, like.

• 38:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Hey, also, also turns out that you, that acai bowl's like not that good for you.

• 38:24Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 38:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Then stop marketing them with the other healthy bullshit.

• 38:30Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, why is a girl wearing a sports bra, holding the acai bowl if it's ice cream?

• 38:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally.

• 38:37Hannah Berner?

  Why is it in the Equinox?

• 38:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a hot fudge sundae. It's a hot fudge sundae.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  The peanut butter I'd get in those, I love that shit.

• 38:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I fucking love an acai bowl.

• 38:50Hannah Berner?

  They put cacao nubs on it, cacao nibs. That's chocolate, babe. You're just-

• 38:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's chocolate.

• 38:57Hannah Berner?

  That's chocolate. And acai-

• 39:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Just because that chocolate is like European does not mean that you can't set boundaries.

• 39:06Hannah Berner?

  Just cuz it's crushed up differently, it's the same, it's the same. So anyway, we're just warning you guys, don't be tricked. Like, don't get tricked.

• 39:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how we got here, but I do wanna speak on something.

• 39:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 39:19Paige DeSorbo?

  The Justin Bieber album. Have you listened?

• 39:23Hannah Berner?

  So I did listen, but it was like in a car and the car was kinda loud and it was kinda low. So I didn't have like the right experience.

• 39:36Hannah Berner?

  You know when like, it wasn't ideal?

• 39:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally. No, I totally get it. I feel like, one, I think it's amazing. I love it. Like, I think every song is so good. And I think that the people, some people that are hating on it are millennials that like, and I'm a millen- I love being a millennial. I think that wanted like, his dance music that he did when he was like thirteen. And I don't want that Justin Bieber. Like, I love this new era, new vibe.

• 40:05Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with him. I think he's also like, a genius. Um, I do think this album is like, really good Pilates music for like, the beginning of the session. When you're like, you're getting into it and you need to get hyped, but you don't want to be like, too pumped up. It's like, perfect. Like, daisies. And then, and then you're getting the pelvis involved. And then you're lifting the glutes. Sorry, I've been, I've been doing a lot of Pilates lately. Um.

• 40:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god. Wait, that, you're really, you've been really describing things today that are just like, spot on, I feel like.

• 40:40Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Cause I actually think I'm bad at descri- I'm bad at words in general. Um, but I'm working on it. We, but Justin Bieber also, this is the thing. I feel like, real music people really like it. But then there's like, top forty people who are like, where's the chorus? Cause there's like,

• 41:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 41:03Hannah Berner?

  And he's a chorus master. Like, he can make anything sound like a bop. So he almost like, he's choosing to be like, let me take you on this lyrical journey.

• 41:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And I don't think I'm creative in a musical sense whatsoever. I'm simply just an observer of what I think sounds good to my ears or not. Like, so I wouldn't know about a chorus, or about...

• 41:25Hannah Berner?

  You just like the vibes.

• 41:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I like the vibes.

• 41:27Hannah Berner?

  Were you high?

• 41:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 41:30Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 41:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I've listened to it a lot. Like, I've actively gone on my Spotify and played it.

• 41:35Hannah Berner?

  We don't talk about like, how good his tone of voice is.

• 41:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 41:40Hannah Berner?

  And I'm not even being nostalgic. It just is a good voice.

• 41:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, and also like, as his voice has changed, obviously, like, as he's gotten older, he's still like, it still sounds good.

• 41:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah. Speaking of boyfriends slash husbands, Dez and I had an interesting moment the other day because, he sent me something and I pulled it up on my phone and he was like, Why is my name Dez Bishop in your phone? And I was like, that's your name? And he was like, you have my government name in your phone? And I was like, when I met you, I put your name in and that's what happened. And then he showed me his phone and it's Bern with like a heart.

• 42:20Hannah Berner?

  Cause I think I put that in as, that's how I did it. And he kept it, which is cute, but this is the question. Is it psychopathic that I have my husband's government name?

• 42:31Hannah Berner?

  I think, look, that's your name?

• 42:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I have so many friends who are like married and for like a couple of years. And I still have like Katie's boyfriend, Cam. And I'm like, like I'm not changing that to his government name or like who, or like her husband. You know, like, I feel like it's how you had it in before. It's very nostalgic. Yeah.

• 42:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, that's fate. I agree. Also, I've been dabbling with manifestation, as you know.

• 43:05Hannah Berner?

  For years now.

• 43:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 43:07Hannah Berner?

  And I wrote, I will pass my driving test like 400 times.

• 43:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw that.

• 43:12Hannah Berner?

  Cause Coco Goff wrote, I will win the French Open. And she did, and it's like pretty similar. So I realized if little ways of manifesting is to set your phone background to something that's like channeling, like a mood. I think your phone background, because you look at your phone 8,000 times a day.

• 43:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:32Hannah Berner?

  Is a really good opportunity for manifesting.

• 43:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I agree with that.

• 43:36Hannah Berner?

  Like, don't pick a bad color, don't pick a bad image, pick positivity.

• 43:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like also just like writing, you don't even have to write it 400 times. But if you have it in your phone somewhere and you've written it down. And you, I don't even feel like you have to go and look at it. Like, I feel like it just like that energy being with you.

• 43:57Hannah Berner?

  Yes, love wins.

• 44:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Love is literally all you need. Um, because I remember this is how I really got hooked on it. I one time like wrote down like things I wanted to manifest. This was when I lived in like my first apartment. And I lived in that apartment for like five years. So when I finally moved, I found that piece of paper because it was like put in some random book. And when I looked at the piece of paper, I had done all of the things, but like I had forgotten about that. I, I mean, I don't even know where it went.

• 44:34Hannah Berner?

  I really have chills.

• 44:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's when I really like started getting hooked on it. And so then I would always like write down what like my manifestations.

• 44:41Hannah Berner?

  Hooked on phonics.

• 44:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Do you know my brother used to call me that when I was in middle school?

• 44:47Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I knew that.

• 44:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I couldn't read.

• 44:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, God. No, the bullying was so.

• 44:58Hannah Berner?

  Important for your growth.

• 44:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Funny. No, it was so important. Not only was it important for my growth, but.

• 45:05Hannah Berner?

  People who haven't been bullied are not like fully grown.

• 45:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Developed.

• 45:10Hannah Berner?

  They're not developed. If you haven't been bullied, like what have you dealt with in your life? And like bullied by like people who know you.

• 45:17Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 45:18Hannah Berner?

  Like they know.

• 45:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's really important to be bullied specifically by your siblings, I think.

• 45:25Hannah Berner?

  By someone that knows you in and out and can really find the.

• 45:30Paige DeSorbo?

  The root cause.

• 45:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, the root cause, the weaknesses. Right there. Um, I don't want a random person to tell me something that's not bullying. You don't even know.

• 45:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, my brother has literally like in my literal, in my almost thirty-three years of knowing him.

• 45:46Paige DeSorbo?

  He has been able to like change the course of my life with one word.

• 45:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I've had boyfriends before.

• 45:57Paige DeSorbo?

  And like we'll be somewhere and my brother will like lock eyes with me across the room. He'll say one word and I will have to immediately break up with him. The next day.

• 46:09Paige DeSorbo?

  So like the bullying, it does not end and I'm actually more thankful for it now.

• 46:14Hannah Berner?

  No, because he's a real one.

• 46:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because he's like, no one's going to tell you. Mom's not even going to tell you. Guess what?

• 46:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Hey, guess what everyone in the family is too scared to tell you?

• 46:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that's how most of my phone calls start out. I feel like with my brother, hey, guess what everyone's been talking about?

• 46:36Hannah Berner?

  He goes, "Look, we've all had a meeting and this is what we've come up with."

• 46:40Paige DeSorbo?

  The high council has come together and they've decided that, uh, you're done.

• 46:45Hannah Berner?

  You're done. I do think that what's interesting is we have the same family dynamic of a boy, a girl, and parents. And I feel like it's great because there's... I love that you can turn on anyone at any time. Like, we can all turn on dad.

• 47:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 47:00Hannah Berner?

  We can do us versus the parents. It could be the girls versus the boys. Like, there's so many good teams that can be built.

• 47:08Paige DeSorbo?

  You learn camaraderie and you learn that life is ever-changing.

• 47:12Hannah Berner?

  Alliances change in a second. Alliances change in a fucking second. And then when the siblings turn on each other, that's, that's when shit gets dark. Because, because you're not strong without each other. The parents, they normally have each other's back. So when you lose each other, then it's haywire.

• 47:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:30Hannah Berner?

  Then it's scary.

• 47:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I do think, obviously not that I'm a parent, but like, my mom genuinely wouldn't let me and my brother fight for longer than like a couple hours or like a day. Like, we never like ended the day fighting, you know? And I think that like is important for siblings.

• 47:49Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I mean, I feel like I never fought with my brother that much. He would just like, we'd be like annoyed.

• 47:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Gary would just like beat me up, but like, we didn't, like, what were we fighting about? But that was, I think that's like important.

• 48:01Hannah Berner?

  I remember what we'd fight about Nintendo. Nintendo was the source of all our drama as kids.

• 48:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:07Hannah Berner?

  Because I would play Pokemon and there was, this is a thing, look, I come from humble beginnings. God forbid we had two Nintendos. We had one Nintendo that we had to fight for every second of the day. And look, I was stronger.

• 48:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what's funny is like, thinking about having kids now, what is... How do, as the parent, how do you know what the cool toy is for that age group?

• 48:36Hannah Berner?

  Oh, because yeah, you can't like ask what are the kids doing because they're like three and can't talk.

• 48:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, how do you know what to get?

• 48:45Hannah Berner?

  I guess you have to start reading like-

• 48:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And do you wanna know what's crazy is like their toy stores aren't a thing anymore. Do you remember that as like a child going like the first time you ever went like-

• 48:54Hannah Berner?

  Toy stores.

• 48:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Could really remember going into like a big toy store that you were just like, what the fuck is this?

• 49:00Hannah Berner?

  Is Toys R Us gone?

• 49:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Gone.

• 49:04Hannah Berner?

  You have to find mom and pop shops now. It's AI now.

• 49:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's so-

• 49:12Paige DeSorbo?

  That is so sad to me. Like I had to order a fri- like a friend's kid's toy and I was like, I guess I'll just get it on Amazon. Like, I don't know.

• 49:20Hannah Berner?

  And you like look at what charts the highest, but-

• 49:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:23Hannah Berner?

  And honestly, kid stuff does well, but that's what mommy vloggers are for. To be like, hey.

• 49:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:30Hannah Berner?

  Also, there are kids who are like really, really famous on YouTube. Like a five-year-old boy is like hugely famous.

• 49:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Reviewing kids, reviewing toys.

• 49:37Hannah Berner?

  All he does is like they put a toy in front of him and he's like, he'll be like gladiator, like yes or no. And the toy companies would be like, no Jeremy didn't like it. We're fucked. We're fucked.

• 49:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't wanna ever get into that world.

• 49:51Hannah Berner?

  One thing I do miss though is going with your friends to rent a movie.

• 49:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that is like a very, I think about, that's probably one of the number one like nostalgic outings that I think about the most.

• 50:06Hannah Berner?

  Cause you're like, tonight's gonna be fucking crazy and regardless-

• 50:13Paige DeSorbo?

  We're getting the Spice Girls movie for the 18th time.

• 50:18Hannah Berner?

  And it's gonna be so fucking good and, and one of us is gonna fall asleep and the other one is gonna puke for eating too much candy.

• 50:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And no one talks about how the Spice- Spice Girls movie actually never made sense.

• 50:28Hannah Berner?

  No, but do you heard they're like getting back together?

• 50:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 50:33Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, everything's AI nowadays.

• 50:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I would think that's true.

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  You guys, you cannot trust anything you read in the media, including us.

• 50:40Paige DeSorbo?

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• 51:25Paige DeSorbo?

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• 52:10Paige DeSorbo?

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• 52:55Paige DeSorbo?

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• 54:18Hannah Berner?

  Have you seen this Nelly and Ashanti show?

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 54:22Hannah Berner?

  There's a reality show, Nelly and Ashanti are like together.

• 54:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I knew that.

• 54:27Hannah Berner?

  But, and it's like a TV show about their relationship, like a Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey type thing.

• 54:32Paige DeSorbo?

  On what channel? Why is that, why is that not coming up in my algorithm?

• 54:37Hannah Berner?

  How did that not come across her desk? See, I'm the biggest Nelly Ashanti fan ever.

• 54:43Paige DeSorbo?

  What, where is it airing? Like what streamer?

• 54:46Hannah Berner?

  I actually don't know. We need Chris, but Chris left us for dead today. Just kidding, we're virtual, so he's not here. Um, so I want you to watch that show and report back.

• 54:57Paige DeSorbo?

  That, let's just for a moment, them being together is also, not to be nostalgic, but like, hello, that's like prom king and queen getting married, like years later. It feels like, for whatever reason, they feel like, to me, like they were high school sweethearts.

• 55:13Hannah Berner?

  They were. It's, it's like Love Wins.

• 55:18Hannah Berner?

  Also, can Ashanti drop some bangers?

• 55:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I'd love if they came out with like an album right now. Oh, imagine if they did a tour and it was just them. That would be amazing.

• 55:31Hannah Berner?

  I feel like everyone's like touring, but like Kesha's back. Have you seen Kesha's stuff?

• 55:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't seen that.

• 55:38Hannah Berner?

  Our algorithms are so different.

• 55:40Paige DeSorbo?

  So different.

• 55:43Paige DeSorbo?

  This is great. Wait, I'm going to Hannah's house um in like a couple of weeks for the weekend. For like 10 minutes, let's just take each other's phone and go on TikTok and see like what each other's mental illness is.

• 55:58Hannah Berner?

  Yours is just hummers.

• 56:02Hannah Berner?

  Actually, I haven't been on TikTok in four days.

• 56:06Hannah Berner?

  Not on purpose.

• 56:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my god.

• 56:08Hannah Berner?

  But I've also been, I've been driving.

• 56:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, you know what?

• 56:18Hannah Berner?

  I've been driving around. Um, quick name drop.

• 56:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:23Hannah Berner?

  I had a good follow this week. That like, you know when someone follows you and you're like?

• 56:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:29Hannah Berner?

  Bobby Flay.

• 56:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop.

• 56:32Hannah Berner?

  I know. I know.

• 56:35Paige DeSorbo?

  That is a really good one because

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  what does he have in common with you?

• 56:44Hannah Berner?

  Okay, okay. First of all, he's from Queens.

• 56:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, is he?

• 56:49Hannah Berner?

  So he's literally in LA and he's a zaddy, but like I'm taken. Um.

• 56:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you actually, you want to know something? His daughter, I've met a couple of times.

• 56:57Hannah Berner?

  Really?

• 56:58Paige DeSorbo?

  She is, well, he, I think he used to have a house in Saratoga, so he was always like in Saratoga during the summers. And she's like friends with one of my girlfriends, so I'd met her a couple of times. She is the nicest person I've like, every time I've seen her, she's always like been so nice and like remembered my name and like whatever.

• 57:19Hannah Berner?

  Well, after this pod, we'll find out if she's a giggler.

• 57:22Paige DeSorbo?

  She does the news in LA. She's on like their local news.

• 57:26Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god, I have to look into this Bobby Flay lore. But fun fact about Bobby Flay, he loves cats and he has his own cat food company.

• 57:34Paige DeSorbo?

  He do- I didn't know that.

• 57:37Hannah Berner?

  And when I'm on the road and they don't have Netflix on the TV, I watch Beat Bobby Flay as my comfort show.

• 57:45Paige DeSorbo?

  My favorite was when he was on Entourage.

• 57:48Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, was he good?

• 57:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, he was sleeping with Ari Gold's wife and it was like, it was just a really good.

• 57:56Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's really funny. I think he likes comedians, but he also might have seen that I like, that I'm fostering cats, who knows, but um. I'm, I'm also looking.

• 58:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe he's just a giggler and he loves our comedy.

• 58:09Hannah Berner?

  No, that's, that, that's possible. Maybe he loves women in the arts, but um, I love the Food Network, like I'm a real Food Network nerd. And also I watch HGTV sometimes, like bring back cable.

• 58:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you love cable. Actually, in LA, I didn't watch any streaming networks because I was like, when I get home, I want to save all my shows. For when I get home, so I can just like binge like four hours of my shows.

• 58:32Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's literally like when you have a meal and you only like one thing on the plate and you're like, I'm gonna wait till the end to eat the good part of the plate.

• 58:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Daphne is being obsessed with me today, like she.

• 58:44Hannah Berner?

  She's love served.

• 58:45Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, just keeps jumping on me and like, right now she's just sitting on the ground and I'm petting her neck and she's purring.

• 58:53Hannah Berner?

  If you haven't gotten a cat.

• 58:55Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you doing?

• 58:56Hannah Berner?

  Let me explain one thing about cat, cats, because I'm now fostering three new cats.

• 59:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Are they gonna be there when I'm there?

• 59:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 59:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, few.

• 59:05Hannah Berner?

  Two of them are shy, one of them is the most outgoing cat I've ever met. Let me tell you this, dogs can never. This cat slowly comes up on my chest, is staring me in the eyes like a human. Like you know when your cat looks through your soul?

• 59:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 59:23Hannah Berner?

  Like, and you're looking at her and I'm like, do I know you in a past life?

• 59:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, what?

• 59:27Hannah Berner?

  What are you trying to say?

• 59:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Tell me.

• 59:31Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, I will figure it out. What do you want?

• 59:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, why do I always think like my ancestors are trying to tell me something through Daphne?

• 59:40Hannah Berner?

  No, because cats are spiritual.

• 59:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 59:42Hannah Berner?

  But I think they're actually just like looking at my eyelashes and thinks, think it's a spider or something. When I'm blinking, but I'm.

• 59:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we need the pet psychic. Like we needed the pet psychic yesterday. We need, the only guest we're ever having on the pod again is a pet psychic and we need our.

• 59:58Hannah Berner?

  Okay, we'll get her. Any recommendations, please send. Um, oh, one thing about dogs.

• 1:00:06Hannah Berner?

  Now, look, I love all animals. I love dogs. Barking is insane.

• 1:00:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Hannah Berner?

  Imagine, this is what barking is. If I'm a human, this is me. You're having a conversation with someone and just start going, hey, hey, hey, hey.

• 1:00:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's so male coded also.

• 1:00:23Hannah Berner?

  Why are you yelling?

• 1:00:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, just because you're louder doesn't mean you're right.

• 1:00:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Just because you're taking up more space doesn't mean your idea is the best idea in your room.

• 1:00:33Hannah Berner?

  Scaring me. You're so scary. The fact that they bark is like, should be illegal. It's noise pollution. And then some people who have barky dogs start to have that thing where they stop hearing it, where you're like, your dog, your dog's yelling. And they're like, okay, stop. I don't hear it. And then you're, they're having a normal conversation. I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't think when your dog is yelling.

• 1:00:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, all dogs to me, I feel like are kids. Like I'm like, oh, you have like kids. Where cats are young women.

• 1:01:07Hannah Berner?

  And when they do meow, like they don't even want to. It's like, because they have to. They're like.

• 1:01:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I was trying to tell one of my friends, like the difference between having a dog and a cat. And I was just like, you own your dog. Like your dog is in a cult and you are the dog's leader and it literally will do anything you say.

• 1:01:27Hannah Berner?

  Like responsible for it. Like every second the dog's like, what are we doing? And you're like, I don't, I don't know. I didn't plan.

• 1:01:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I do not own Daphne. She simply lives in my home. She pays her rent on time.

• 1:01:43Hannah Berner?

  What am I?

• 1:01:44Paige DeSorbo?

  She has things to do. So who am I to mess up her day or her schedule? When like, hello, she like, what does she bring to the table? She is the table.

• 1:01:55Hannah Berner?

  She is the table, a marble table scape. Um, one of my favorite jokes is the guy from Crashing, what's his name?

• 1:02:03Paige DeSorbo?

  What's Crashing?

• 1:02:04Hannah Berner?

  It's like a TV show, crashing show. Pete Holmes. He has the funniest joke where he was like cats are like, um, sealess celebrities in your house.

• 1:02:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 1:02:18Hannah Berner?

  Where you're like.

• 1:02:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 1:02:22Hannah Berner?

  You're like, is that? Is?

• 1:02:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Do we have a cat?

• 1:02:26Hannah Berner?

  Is that Heidi Montag?

• 1:02:32Paige DeSorbo?

  That just comes out every so often.

• 1:02:35Hannah Berner?

  And you're like, I think I just saw Heidi Montag on the beach, but I'm not sure.

• 1:02:40Paige DeSorbo?

  That is so good and honestly so true.

• 1:02:42Hannah Berner?

  It's like, she's here, she's coming, she might be here, you might get a photo, you might not. And it depends on her mood.

• 1:02:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I just wanted to let you know that

• 1:02:51Paige DeSorbo?

  we're so connected that we've drank the same amount. Look.

• 1:02:57Paige DeSorbo?

  That is like creepy best friend stuff.

• 1:03:00Hannah Berner?

  That's witchcraft.

• 1:03:01Paige DeSorbo?

  That's witchcraft and wizardry.

• 1:03:05Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god.

• 1:03:07Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so weird.

• 1:03:08Hannah Berner?

  That's so crazy and we don't end the podcast till we're finished at the very end. No, we're drinking our Dunkin' refreshers. I have to say, I made a mistake last pod. I said I was drinking mango peach. I wasn't. I lied to you guys. And I, I own full responsibility for that. I'm so sorry. It's mango pineapple refresher with green tea. That's what I'm drinking.

• 1:03:29Paige DeSorbo?

  My refresher, see, I go like rogue.

• 1:03:33Hannah Berner?

  What did you get?

• 1:03:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like you, you, cause you can like add different things and like really make it your own. So like, I don't think I've ever drank the same one, the same concoction that I've come up with. This one right now is strawberry dragon fruit, tropical guava, green tea, and then like raspberry, something else.

• 1:03:53Hannah Berner?

  It's like when you go to the soda station, you just put them all in.

• 1:03:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you know what else happened to me tonight? Which like this never happens to me. I ordered my Dunkin' refresher and that's all I ordered. They accidentally gave me two donuts.

• 1:04:07Hannah Berner?

  Wait.

• 1:04:07Paige DeSorbo?

  And some, like, someone's getting fired, but it's not me.

• 1:04:09Hannah Berner?

  Life is worth living.

• 1:04:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I do actually deserve a sweet treat.

• 1:04:16Hannah Berner?

  You do. Um, also, you guys, keep submitting your summer stories at gigglysummer.com to win our Dunkin' Giggly collab merch. Okay, so keep doing it. Um, last story, not to end, but I think it's important to be humble. Do you agree?

• 1:04:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I agree.

• 1:04:36Hannah Berner?

  So I saw one of my family friends, this woman who said, you know, she loves Giggly Squad. She loves listening to it. And she was with her 14-year-old daughter. And I made a little joke, like, do you let her listen to it? And she was like, not really. And I was like, I don't know, maybe it's good for her to, you know, start hearing about some things. And the girl looks at me and she goes, oh, yeah. And the mom goes, um, I mean, maybe she's listening, but I don't know it. And the girl looks up, she goes, no, I'm not.

• 1:05:07Hannah Berner?

  She goes, no, she goes, she could be listening without me knowing. Nope.

• 1:05:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually think, someone was asking me that the other day, too, like, how young is the youngest, like, fan that's ever come up to you? And I was like, anywhere, I think, like, under 17, we've lost them. Like, we're, we're too old.

• 1:05:27Hannah Berner?

  I'm randomly on some weird TikTok algorithms, though, where some, like, 14-year-old girls will be like, are you on TikTok?

• 1:05:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 1:05:34Hannah Berner?

  And I'll be like, I'm obsessed with you. I'm obsessed. And then I just hang out with teenage girls all the time. And we talk about our acne and learning to drive and our road tests.

• 1:05:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, we're having a high school summer.

• 1:05:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, me and you have had, that's the theme of the summer, and that's what it was. And we just needed this to realize it.

• 1:06:01Hannah Berner?

  We just call our moms.

• 1:06:02Paige DeSorbo?

  It's high school summer. Always, you've literally been studying for your road test. You finally got it. I'm coming for the weekend. We're jacked up.

• 1:06:10Hannah Berner?

  Sleepover.

• 1:06:11Paige DeSorbo?

  We're sleepovers. We're getting tan. We're calling our moms. We're staying out late.

• 1:06:16Hannah Berner?

  Whatever we want.

• 1:06:17Paige DeSorbo?

  We're literally just getting in the car, like, to go to Dunkin', just because you have a license. You know, it's like, we, we literally can't stop peeing. We've had seven, but we're like, we're just, like, going, running an errand.

• 1:06:28Hannah Berner?

  All weekend, I'm gonna be like, do you need to grab milk?

• 1:06:32Hannah Berner?

  Did you run out of hair ties? You want me to go, you want to get a hair tie with me really quick?

• 1:06:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm obsessed with High School Summer.

• 1:06:38Hannah Berner?

  I'm not driving to Montauk ever.

• 1:06:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, no, that's diabolical.

• 1:06:42Hannah Berner?

  Like going to Europe and diabolical. I'm not, but, oh my god.

• 1:06:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, oh, I'm never getting in the car with you.

• 1:06:49Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:50Paige DeSorbo?

  That's crazy.

• 1:06:51Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'd be too nervous.

• 1:06:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:06:53Hannah Berner?

  I don't want your life in my hands.

• 1:06:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd have to look away.

• 1:06:56Hannah Berner?

  No, I don't want your life in my hands. I also don't want... That's like too intimate.

• 1:07:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd have to sit in the backseat.

• 1:07:03Hannah Berner?

  No, we sit in the backseat and let Dez drive.

• 1:07:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, perfect.

• 1:07:07Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's so weird. One of us is not sitting in the front with Dez. That's weird. We're going full Uber. We're in the back.

• 1:07:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I was wondering, should we bring Grace? Or is that like HR she doesn't want to?

• 1:07:18Hannah Berner?

  We can, but she might be with her family, which is like kind of rude.

• 1:07:25Paige DeSorbo?

  See, my Grace, my Grace is, we're her family.

• 1:07:30Hannah Berner?

  See, if we want to be a real cult, we have to start getting her away from her family. That's like rule number one of cults. So we're like failing. We have to like make up a story of why she can't go to her, see her family.

• 1:07:44Paige DeSorbo?

  She has to work.

• 1:07:46Paige DeSorbo?

  She literally has to work.

• 1:07:48Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I just see us sitting in the back of the car and Dez being like, are you guys hungry? And we're like, yeah.

• 1:07:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:54Hannah Berner?

  Where can we, I'm hungry now, though.

• 1:07:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, where's the silence button?

• 1:07:57Hannah Berner?

  Are we there yet?

• 1:07:59Hannah Berner?

  He presses the eject button. Anyway, you guys, thank you for giggling with us. Thank you for all your kind, supportive messages on my driver's test. Whether I failed or passed, we giggle, okay? And that's what we learned today. And also thank you to Duncan. Shout out to you for making this episode possible.

• 1:08:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

• 1:08:20Hannah Berner?

  Bye.

• 1:08:26Speaker 07

  Hello, I'm Chris Richards, General Manager at Safr Volkswagen Richmond. I'm here to announce an exciting new program that I want you to listen to. Here's my friend Happy.

• 1:08:35Speaker 08

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• 1:08:55Speaker 09

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