Giggling about gorillas, cavemen, and cat leashes

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This podcast is supported by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. You know that one friend who's always there and actually does the thing they say they'll do? This is that, but healthcare. At Planned Parenthood Health Centers, providers, staff, and volunteers still show up even under relentless attacks every day to make sure patients can get the care they need. They'll keep showing up no matter what, and now they're asking you to join them. Make a gift of any size at PlannedParenthood.org/defend. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only. You know, I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show, and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing.

• 0:44Paige DeSorbo?

  My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. Absolutely love McDonald's. And for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery. Just to let you guys know, cold weather is back, but there's no need to dread this year thanks to Bombas. Their socks, slippers, and footwear help keep you warm all winter long.

• 1:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Plus, everything they make is great for gifting, making holiday shopping one less thing to stress about. I just ordered a bunch of new Bombas because my socks just like get up and walk away. So I'm constantly ordering socks. It's like one of my things. And for every item purchased, Bombas donates one to someone facing housing insecurity with over 200 million items donated and counting. I personally love their cozy socks because for me, cozy sock season is all year round. I don't discriminate just in the winter. So head over to Bombas.com/GigglySquad and use code GigglySquad for 20% off your first purchase.

• 2:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup gigglers?

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Gary, fix your wifi.

• 2:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Manifest that shit.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  We can't be managed.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:18Hannah Berner?

  I just told Chris I liked his hair and he was like, "Thanks, it's wet." And that was the most boy shit I've ever heard. I've never once gone out of the shower and someone been like, "I like your hair."

• 2:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I have had that response in other situations.

• 2:31Paige DeSorbo?

  "Thanks, it's wet."

• 2:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, starting the pod off on a dirty note. I apologize.

• 2:37Hannah Berner?

  Welcome to the Met Gigglers.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  I worked really hard on that one.

• 2:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I was gonna say, is that like your, is that, are you saying, is that your G word?

• 2:50Hannah Berner?

  Well, my gal, okay. Anyway, um...

• 2:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Welcome to Met Monday.

• 2:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm here all, I'm here all week. Welcome to Met Monday.

• 2:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Also known as Page and Hannah Try New Things premiere date.

• 3:02Hannah Berner?

  I literally, today's the day.

• 3:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Hannah Berner?

  In a couple hours, by the time you guys are listening to this...

• 3:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You will have watched. They will have watched.

• 3:08Hannah Berner?

  You will have watched already. And if you haven't, that's, how did not, not come across your desk?

• 3:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 3:13Hannah Berner?

  That's crazy.

• 3:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Check our emails. Um, I'm so excited for it.

• 3:17Hannah Berner?

  I'm so excited. I feel like our, our first TV show's launching, even though, yes, it's just YouTube. And yes, we didn't have to run it by anyone, but isn't that the perfectness of it?

• 3:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, here's why I love that it's on YouTube. We didn't...

• 3:30Hannah Berner?

  No one offered us anything else. We didn't like say no to Netflix.

• 3:35Paige DeSorbo?

  We were like, "Oh, hey, Ashley, we're doing something creatively stylistic-wise and going on YouTube."

• 3:40Hannah Berner?

  But we are.

• 3:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We are, but it's more like, there were no suits around. Do you know what I mean? There was no production.

• 3:48Hannah Berner?

  There were no men around.

• 3:49Paige DeSorbo?

  It was just a couple of gals.

• 3:51Hannah Berner?

  Couple gals with a couple notes, mostly no notes, I'm gonna say.

• 3:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Just living a dream, you know? Doing fun things.

• 3:58Hannah Berner?

  We were expressing ourselves through the art of our country videographer.

• 4:03Paige DeSorbo?

  We expressed ourselves emotionally, physically.

• 4:06Hannah Berner?

  And like, we got emotional in it.

• 4:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  It was some raw emotion.

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't say this lately, I changed as a woman during our tour.

• 4:13Hannah Berner?

  And people are gonna see the progression.

• 4:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I went through like such...

• 4:17Hannah Berner?

  You went through just 12 stages of grief.

• 4:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Clinical changes.

• 4:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I think my biology is different.

• 4:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and you started a full drug addiction midway, but um.

• 4:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Like any proper tour, sorry.

• 4:33Hannah Berner?

  Do you want us to be rock and roll or not?

• 4:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, what?

• 4:36Hannah Berner?

  I missed you this weekend. I literally was pooping on my phone and for some reason I said,

• 4:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Where's my best friend?

• 4:43Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna text her. Where is she? I'm gonna text her.

• 4:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I know she's well.

• 4:46Hannah Berner?

  It's the kind of thing, I was like, I don't care if I'm being needy, I'm saying I missed you.

• 4:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I missed you too, and then I realized we hadn't seen each other since LA.

• 4:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 4:56Paige DeSorbo?

  And usually we see each other at least once a week.

• 4:59Hannah Berner?

  And you texted me and you were like, I really wanted to call you and yap this morning.

• 5:03Paige DeSorbo?

  But I don't ever want to bother you.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  But you didn't. That is so crazy. You've never bothered me once, but I also don't like bothering you. I literally-

• 5:11Paige DeSorbo?

  We're extremely mindful of each other's time. You know what I was thinking the other day? We talk every day. Is that crazy?

• 5:19Hannah Berner?

  If I don't send you a link to something, like I need some kind of-

• 5:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like if we're not talking in the group chat, like work-wise, like you've sent me like something vintage, you're like, oh my god, this is so cute. And I'm like, to who?

• 5:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you sending like a cat video?

• 5:35Hannah Berner?

  Is this for a human?

• 5:36Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, amazing.

• 5:37Hannah Berner?

  No, we missed each other, we're back together, we're physically in the studio again.

• 5:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank god.

• 5:42Hannah Berner?

  LA did change me.

• 5:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:44Hannah Berner?

  But now I'm back to normal. Like, I don't even know who that bitch was last week.

• 5:47Paige DeSorbo?

  That was scary.

• 5:48Hannah Berner?

  I mean, I am wearing extensions right now, so I'm gonna be a monster.

• 5:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, okay, I have a lot on the docket today. And I don't know where we should start.

• 5:57Hannah Berner?

  I'm so excited. I love when you come in with-

• 5:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually think I'm gonna work-

• 6:00Hannah Berner?

  Points.

• 6:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna work backwards.

• 6:02Hannah Berner?

  Okay, okay. What's your thesis?

• 6:05Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred men versus a gorilla.

• 6:07Hannah Berner?

  I, Chris is laughing.

• 6:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:09Hannah Berner?

  I just saw like the memes making fun of it, being like, a hundred men versus, maybe let's try a therapist. Or a hundred men versus maybe one mother.

• 6:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't seen like where it originated.

• 6:23Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Paige DeSorbo?

  But it was originated by a man, I believe.

• 6:25Hannah Berner?

  Oh, and he was saying he could beat up gorillas?

• 6:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, Chris? Do you know where it originated? I can look it up. But you've seen it?

• 6:30Hannah Berner?

  Leave gorillas alone. Gorillas don't want this.

• 6:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Uh huh. I saw a video and it was like this guy being like a hundred men versus a gorilla. And the girl in the video was like, give me the context.

• 6:42Hannah Berner?

  I thought it was a hundred gorillas versus men. I was like, men have lost their minds.

• 6:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, a hundred men. And the way he explained it, he was like, a hundred naked men fighting one gorilla. And in my head, I said, oh, it's actually leaning homosexual. It's leaning homosexual for the men. And I was like, because in what context?

• 7:02Hannah Berner?

  Did you need your clothes off?

• 7:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Did we need you guys naked?

• 7:05Hannah Berner?

  He goes, a hundred, a hundred hard dicks versus a gorilla.

• 7:09Paige DeSorbo?

  At a gorilla.

• 7:10Hannah Berner?

  And we sword fight.

• 7:11Paige DeSorbo?

  The gorilla didn't ask for that.

• 7:13Hannah Berner?

  The gorilla's like, no, thank you.

• 7:15Paige DeSorbo?

  And here's what I want to say to the men. Much like you guys flying the plane.

• 7:19Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:20Paige DeSorbo?

  You're done. You're done for. The gorilla's eating you all up.

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  Are they allowed to have weapons?

• 7:26Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no weapons.

• 7:28Hannah Berner?

  Also, do you realize this is a general statement, but after a breakup, I feel like girls get very self-reflective. Like they're like talking to their friends, like, what can I do better? What do you think I did wrong? Is, am I picking the wrong guys? Where men will get together and be like, who would win in a fight?

• 7:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:44Hannah Berner?

  Like a tiger or a gorilla?

• 7:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm going back years. I'm going, what in my childhood?

• 7:50Hannah Berner?

  You go, mom, did something happen?

• 7:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That made me steer in this direction of man.

• 7:55Hannah Berner?

  Yes, yes. Where men literally will be like LeBron or Kobe, go, and they'll talk for forty-eight hours straight.

• 8:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Your fantasy football team, dead or alive, now.

• 8:06Hannah Berner?

  They come up with these concepts that like, who, first of all, who cares?

• 8:09Paige DeSorbo?

  And also like, who's wrangling a hundred men to show up at the same place at the same time unclothed?

• 8:16Hannah Berner?

  It's giving that OnlyFans girl who like slept with a hundred guys.

• 8:22Hannah Berner?

  She goes, first you go through me, then you have to go through the gorilla.

• 8:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It's giving Bonnie blue.

• 8:27Hannah Berner?

  The gorilla is Bonnie blue.

• 8:29Paige DeSorbo?

  My next point, because that had me.

• 8:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 8:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just like, guys, get a job.

• 8:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Why do you have time to fight a gorilla?

• 8:37Paige DeSorbo?

  The gorilla is hiring.

• 8:38Hannah Berner?

  Answer one email and call your child.

• 8:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Call your child.

• 8:43Hannah Berner?

  I like giving them families.

• 8:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, my next is Bill Belichick.

• 8:51Hannah Berner?

  I have so many thoughts on this.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  So many thoughts on it.

• 8:54Hannah Berner?

  Can we go into it and try?

• 8:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's like break it down from like a logistical standpoint.

• 9:01Hannah Berner?

  He said they met in col- she was in college.

• 9:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Where do I even want to start?

• 9:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 9:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's start actually with, um, he's 72. She's 24.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  Basically, if you don't know what that is, Dez is a spring fucking chicken.

• 9:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Spring chicken. Here's my problem with it. Okay, there's one side of the internet that's like, she's evil. She's like encroaching on his whole business.

• 9:25Hannah Berner?

  Elder abuse.

• 9:26Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's el- yes, and she's taken over everything and blah blah and all of this. She's 24. Like she's act- she's being a 24 year old girl.

• 9:36Hannah Berner?

  Hustling, strategizing.

• 9:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Then there's another part of the internet that's like.

• 9:42Hannah Berner?

  He knows what he's signed up for. He wants this.

• 9:45Paige DeSorbo?

  He wants to date a 24 year old. He wa- he.

• 9:48Hannah Berner?

  He's happy.

• 9:48Paige DeSorbo?

  He's happy. He's all of this.

• 9:50Hannah Berner?

  And he knows, like, part of it is his credit card. She's not dating him because he's hot.

• 9:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 9:55Hannah Berner?

  So obviously he's gonna be like, have fun with my credit card.

• 9:58Paige DeSorbo?

  And then what really sparked it all was that interview where like the interviewer was like, where did you guys meet? And her from the wings was like, we're not talking about that. I, people were really mad at that.

• 10:10Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Paige DeSorbo?

  If she was a publicist and not his girlfriend and had said it, no, I don't think anyone would have said anything.

• 10:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 10:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I wasn't mad at her saying that because it's like, yeah, why would you care how they met? Why people were so mad that she interjected, though, I don't.

• 10:28Hannah Berner?

  It's giving sexism.

• 10:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because like if he's, if he said, he obviously said to her, come to this interview. You're like essentially my publicist.

• 10:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 10:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Chime in when you think something.

• 10:38Hannah Berner?

  Instead of her controlling him, is she his protector? Is she protecting him?

• 10:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Either way.

• 10:43Hannah Berner?

  From the evils of, of the world.

• 10:45Paige DeSorbo?

  He's fifty years older than, like, here's what I.

• 10:48Hannah Berner?

  He's on dialysis, like.

• 10:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Ten years ago, she was late for homeroom. She was fourteen. Ten years ago, she was fourteen. I couldn't have sex with anyone knowing that ten years prior, they reported to Mrs. Smith in the eighth grade. Like, I don't.

• 11:09Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing. He's having some kind of moment where he wants to date a younger.

• 11:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Ten years ago, he was sixty-two.

• 11:18Hannah Berner?

  That's the same as seventy-two.

• 11:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, no, literally, that's my dad. Like, I'm sorry, ten years ago, he was my dad.

• 11:25Hannah Berner?

  I don't love that, if it's elder abuse, I'm in the wrong.

• 11:29Paige DeSorbo?

  How the fuck? You're telling me he doesn't have an entire team around him? He doesn't, he, she just came in and was like the most master. The most master manipulator ever and got everyone on his team to be like, no, I'm in charge now, like, there's no fucking way.

• 11:45Hannah Berner?

  She like, this is the thing, they're using weird adjectives. They were like, she bullied her way into the Dunkin' Donuts ads.

• 11:53Paige DeSorbo?

  They're using weird.

• 11:54Hannah Berner?

  The language is weird.

• 11:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:56Hannah Berner?

  The language is off and I wanna just, let's change it for a second. If she was a young guy, that, it would be like, look at this supportive partner. Look at him so involved in her career. And like granted, yeah, she's like buying houses and stuff, but maybe he wanted to, um, amp up his real estate portfolio. And she's also, she's trademarking like all these words that he said that the New England Patriots are trying to own or something.

• 12:20Paige DeSorbo?

  She, sorry, she's a woman in the arms.

• 12:24Hannah Berner?

  I'm it's giving um like entrepreneurial.

• 12:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, she's smart. She can see.

• 12:30Hannah Berner?

  It's giving business savvy.

• 12:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Again, she's twenty four.

• 12:33Hannah Berner?

  I'm kind of obsessed that she's like, okay, I'm dating this man and I want him to be the best he can be. And I'm not letting him fuck it up and I'm gonna help. Wait, do we not all do this in our relationships?

• 12:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, like, yeah, do we like, sorry that she's using something to get ahead in her career.

• 12:47Hannah Berner?

  Has your man ever been on the phone and you've been like, we're not talking about that?

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like hello?

• 12:52Hannah Berner?

  We're not talking about that in front of your friends.

• 12:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't ask him that. He's an idiot.

• 12:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just like, it's making me upset. It's making me really upset.

• 13:04Hannah Berner?

  I can't pull it up because I'm not looking and I can't read, but like there are multiple adjectives that they're using sensing like she has some like. She's abusing him?

• 13:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:14Hannah Berner?

  But the things are like, she didn't abuse him to get in the background of a Dunkin' Donuts commercial.

• 13:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Such an awkward interview. Um, I've actually personally been in more awkward ones like that. It wasn't that awkward.

• 13:25Hannah Berner?

  She's protecting her relationship with him. Like she basically is like, it's one thing if she was like, ask about me. She's literally saying, don't ask about us.

• 13:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and she's literally sitting on the side. Any other publicist, that's like a nor- that's a publicist's literal job is when you're doing an interview to be like, nope, actually not that question.

• 13:41Hannah Berner?

  Basically, they're trying to not get another headline and about her and they're trying to get a headline for his, who knows what he was promoting because that did not get the headline.

• 13:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Why don't we do a headline that at a certain age, sorry, I think it's still like pedophilia. Like, uh, you're almost eighty.

• 14:00Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's so funny. People are mad at her.

• 14:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:02Hannah Berner?

  And it's like, I'm, I don't know.

• 14:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Then I'm gonna be devil's advocate for a quick second.

• 14:07Hannah Berner?

  Sure.

• 14:08Paige DeSorbo?

  How is she fucking him?

• 14:11Paige DeSorbo?

  It's all I'm thinking about. It's on, like, I'm sorry, I, I support all women. But how is she literally putting his dick in her mouth? I would gag.

• 14:20Hannah Berner?

  Coaches get pussy. There's something about coaches, like.

• 14:25Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna say this very generally. There's a lot of college coaches that like fuck girls on campuses.

• 14:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Disgusting.

• 14:32Hannah Berner?

  Cause they're like the big man on campus. They are the boss of the guys running around the field. They tell them what to do. They're like, sit down bitch. And you're like, oh, that's the guy who's the boss. I personally, I personally, speaking as someone with an older man. I've actually never been attracted to an older man before. Like I'm attracted to Dez. Older men has never been like my thing. Um, but some girls really do like, like a dad bod. Orthopedic situation.

• 15:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't bring Dr. Scholz into this.

• 15:06Hannah Berner?

  But I also am like.

• 15:08Paige DeSorbo?

  And also here's the other thing. If she is his publicist, she's done a great fucking job.

• 15:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never talked about Bill Belichick ever in my life. And now all of a sudden it's word vomit. I'm like, I wanna talk about it with anyone.

• 15:22Hannah Berner?

  This is the one thing I can't get behind people being like, he's getting tricked. He's having the time of his life. I mean, look, is she next to him like playing Angry Birds? Yes, but like, what is she gonna talk to him about? They're not there for talking. But clearly she's actually not playing Angry Birds. She's clearly setting up his schedule for plus the next day.

• 15:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No. If I, if anything, she's like giving him in line.

• 15:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, if anything, she's like working for the job.

• 15:49Paige DeSorbo?

  She's only twenty.

• 15:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't say it enough. She's only twenty-four.

• 15:54Hannah Berner?

  Her brain is not fully formed.

• 15:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I have another gripe.

• 15:56Hannah Berner?

  Also, she spells her name Jordan with two O's, which.

• 16:01Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's a stylistic choice.

• 16:03Hannah Berner?

  Actually, I was gonna say a stylistic choice and honestly, it's giving cunt. She's a girl.

• 16:14Hannah Berner?

  But no, you know what it is? That was annoying of her parents. I'm gonna say it.

• 16:17Paige DeSorbo?

  That was annoying.

• 16:18Hannah Berner?

  It's giving, it's Jordan with an O, not the first O, the second O. You know how much time in her life was spent explaining the second O in her name? Like, obviously she has trauma. Obviously she's running to Bill Belichick.

• 16:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm funny. I had to explain my name every time we had a substitute teacher. Yeah, like, yeah, no, you got it.

• 16:35Hannah Berner?

  What was confusing about Paige?

• 16:37Paige DeSorbo?

  It was as the bit, I'm saying if I was her.

• 16:39Hannah Berner?

  Got it.

• 16:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, okay. Next on my docket.

• 16:44Hannah Berner?

  I love your docket.

• 16:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Next on my docket is my egg freezing.

• 16:48Hannah Berner?

  Oh, we need updates.

• 16:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm cosplaying and I don't know if you've noticed that I've been glowing, but I'm cosplaying as I'm pregnant right now. Like I've been touching my stomach and I'm like, I'm with child. Like I've, I've turned into a monster. I'm like, I can't, I'm like literally like my eggs are. I'm on my fifth day, my fifth day of shots.

• 17:11Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you didn't tell us you were on shots.

• 17:13Paige DeSorbo?

  So I started on Thursday.

• 17:15Hannah Berner?

  Okay. So you're feeling great.

• 17:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I drank so much coffee, I'm like shaking.

• 17:21Hannah Berner?

  Are you feeling great? And she's like, I don't know, my body is violently shaking.

• 17:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it. I'm like obsessed with egg freezing. I love doing my own shots. I'm like, it's, I'm sick. I'm like in Grey's Anatomy. I'm like, let me just mix this.

• 17:31Hannah Berner?

  Are you nauseous? Please tell us every detail.

• 17:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I wrote down like a whole log of like each day, only felt nauseous one day, but like I feel fi- I feel like I have my.

• 17:42Hannah Berner?

  I also feel like you feel nauseous.

• 17:43Paige DeSorbo?

  All the time.

• 17:44Hannah Berner?

  All the time.

• 17:45Paige DeSorbo?

  My baseline is nausea.

• 17:48Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I feel sick to my stomach every day.

• 17:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So I feel fine. My, I'm like an overachiever. My body is reacting better than he first anticipated. Like I'm going faster than normal. So I'm like having my retrieval like this weekend.

• 18:06Hannah Berner?

  How, what, what kind of speed of what? Like what's going fast?

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Like my eggs are like responding, like they're like, okay, we have like, we're ready.

• 18:15Hannah Berner?

  Oh my God.

• 18:16Paige DeSorbo?

  To be taken out.

• 18:16Hannah Berner?

  Do you feel bloated? Okay.

• 18:19Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I feel pregnant because I keep like touching my stomach. Do you want to see my bruises?

• 18:24Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Oh my God, look at you. Wait, you love it. Wait, you're a mother.

• 18:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a mother.

• 18:32Hannah Berner?

  I named all my bruises. That's little Anthony.

• 18:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You better get ready.

• 18:37Hannah Berner?

  That's Mario.

• 18:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Good, I love that.

• 18:41Hannah Berner?

  Antonio. Wait, I'm so happy for you.

• 18:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you.

• 18:45Hannah Berner?

  Very exciting.

• 18:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, like the first night of shots, I was like, this is crazy. How am I gonna do this? And then I'm just like, women are incredible.

• 18:54Hannah Berner?

  No, women are incredible. I have a friend, Casey Balsham, who actually just went viral for doing stand-up about how, about having a baby. But she was doing this all while going up on stage at night. And I was like, how are you? And she goes, oh, I'm in the middle of like an egg freezing. And I keep injecting myself and my hormones are all over the place. And I have to be funny and do stand-up. And, but like, women just do it.

• 19:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I like needed more estrogen.

• 19:20Hannah Berner?

  Do you, oh wait, do you actually feel balanced?

• 19:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I feel, I'm like, oh, I actually feel so.

• 19:26Hannah Berner?

  You need to be studied.

• 19:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I've always been walking an hour a day.

• 19:29Hannah Berner?

  Where?

• 19:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Just around the city.

• 19:32Hannah Berner?

  You're like to bodegas?

• 19:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:33Hannah Berner?

  To different bodegas?

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been walking one hour a day.

• 19:35Hannah Berner?

  Do you go to the park, Central Park?

• 19:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just like walk on the street, like around my neighborhood.

• 19:40Hannah Berner?

  What, do you like say hi to people?

• 19:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, God, no. That would be crazy. I put my headphones in and I call my mom.

• 19:46Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I just heard a nightmare story from my makeup artist that I have to relate to you guys.

• 19:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Please.

• 19:52Hannah Berner?

  She is so sweet. This is, um, I've had some travel nightmares. This is up there. She said she gets in the Uber and the girl immediately is like way too.

• 20:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Talkative.

• 20:03Hannah Berner?

  Talkative and like.

• 20:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Excited for the day.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  Way too TMI, which I love a TMI, but she was literally like, oh, like I want to get a new house, but I don't want it to be renovated already because I don't want to sleep in a bed where someone else has sex. I haven't had sex in this many days. And you're like. She's like, where are you going? And she's like, oh, I'm actually going to dinner at this, I'm trying this barbecue place.

• 20:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, the Uber driver's asking.

• 20:27Hannah Berner?

  Where is she going?

• 20:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 20:28Hannah Berner?

  Again, huge red flag.

• 20:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. If it was a guy, I would have been like, oh.

• 20:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm going to um your future murderer's house. He has axes everywhere.

• 20:39Paige DeSorbo?

  There's I'm going to the zoo where I'm the gorilla keeper actually. Um so yeah, keep your pants on.

• 20:47Hannah Berner?

  Okay, call that queen. So this is where it got really dark. She she goes, oh, you're getting dinner? And she goes, yeah, and she goes, I'll come with.

• 20:58Hannah Berner?

  What do you do? You jump out of the car? So she takes her to the barbecue place stops and and gets out of the car with her and starts walking in and goes, should we share something?

• 21:10Paige DeSorbo?

  What's going on?

• 21:11Hannah Berner?

  This is like.

• 21:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Where is this?

• 21:13Hannah Berner?

  Austin, which maybe when you said people are too nice.

• 21:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I was like, this wasn't in New York.

• 21:19Hannah Berner?

  No, no.

• 21:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, this sounds like some nice midwestern bullshit that I could never like subscribe to.

• 21:28Hannah Berner?

  This was some nice people in Texas.

• 21:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:31Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, are you okay? Like, have you talked to someone about this?

• 21:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like this happens a lot in Texas.

• 21:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I but anyway, I just.

• 21:37Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, yeah, so we split cornbread and like she's in my wedding.

• 21:40Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. Cute guys started to talk to her that she like had met before and the woman, he was like, who are you with? And she's like, oh, I don't know this woman.

• 21:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually never seen her in my life.

• 21:52Hannah Berner?

  Well, she's feeding you.

• 21:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 21:57Hannah Berner?

  She's chewing up her food and spitting in your mouth.

• 21:59Paige DeSorbo?

  She's baby burning it. Wait, so how did it end? Like, okay, see you next time like?

• 22:04Hannah Berner?

  I think she was kind of, yeah, she was like, oh, she said the girl drove her back to her house for free. So she got a free drive out of it. But again, actually, take my money, leave me alone.

• 22:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Take my money.

• 22:15Hannah Berner?

  For the fifteen dollar Uber, I'm good. So anyway, just keep an eye out in Ubers, you guys. It's not always.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That's crazy.

• 22:21Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm like really shook by it.

• 22:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I yeah, I don't think I could go in another Uber again.

• 22:27Hannah Berner?

  I I would immediately be like, actually, I just realized I just ate. I totally forgot I just ate and I have to go back to my house. Where everyone has COVID. You can't come in.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Next on my docket.

• 22:38Hannah Berner?

  Okay, COVID reference. Throwback.

• 22:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Every single one of my group chats has a person who runs. You know the ones suspiciously cheerful about it, and I've come around. They're right, running is freeing, it's cathartic, it surprises you with something good every time. It's your body reminding you, you can do more than you give it credit for.

• 22:59Hannah Berner?

  That's why I love the new Peloton TreadFlex. Peloton's the latest treadmill that makes the joy of running a lot more accessible. The new Peloton TreadFlex is movable and foldable, designed to fit your life, even if you don't think it can. Nobody has a home gym, everyone has a corner. Run, walk, or hike when you need to, and roll it away when you don't. It's perfect as the weather is starting to get colder.

• 23:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that you can roll it away when you're done with it, and classes with expert instructors who also feel like your besties, and programs at all levels that keep you moving. Call yourself a runner if you're just starting, or race training from 5K all the way to a marathon. Peloton meets you where you are, so you move on your own terms. That's what running gives back. Let yourself run, explore the new Peloton TreadFlex at onepeloton.com.

• 23:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common, and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair.

• 24:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home.

• 25:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Talkiiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

• 25:56Paige DeSorbo?

  That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/giggly. Everyone knows this is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if there's one thing you need to know about mental health, it's that everything is connected to your gut microbiome. Things like your immunity and, of course, your digestion. If you're in the market for digestive support, which aren't we always, Ritual has your back, or rather, your biome. Ritual is a three-in-one powerhouse of clinically studied pre, pro, and postbiotics to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. With just one mint-scented capsule for bloat, gut, and regularity support, it's vegan-friendly,

• 26:38Paige DeSorbo?

  formulated without GMOs, major allergens, or animal products. I love taking Ritual Symbiotic Plus because it truly just starts your day off on the right foot. Like, you wake up, you do what you have to do for your skincare, you take your Ritual Symbiotic Plus, and truly, you can conquer the day. I like to take it in the morning because it just, I like to get in my morning routines. I feel like they're the most important routines of my day. Ritual Symbiotic Plus is not just a probiotic, it's truly a way of life. When you take it consistently, not only are you going consistently... But you can definitely feel the connection between your gut and your mental health. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus.

• 27:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Get early access to Ritual's Black Friday sale for 40% off your first order when you visit ritual.com/giggly. That's ritual.com/giggly for 40% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 27:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Classic me. I'm like, I love Newark Airport. Newark Airport is the best. Newark Airport literally shut down this weekend. The president of Newark was like, "Don't come here."

• 27:49Hannah Berner?

  Newark PR got overwhelmed by the inundated gigglers trying to get into Newark and they were like, "We do not have enough staff to fulfill all the gigglers."

• 27:57Paige DeSorbo?

  The guy who runs the airport was like, "I shouldn't be saying this. Don't come here."

• 28:03Hannah Berner?

  They basically were like, "We don't know how to function in an airport."

• 28:06Paige DeSorbo?

  We're so sorry about him.

• 28:07Hannah Berner?

  The comments were funny. They were like, "No one was going to Newark anyway, except for Paige just sort of about once."

• 28:13Paige DeSorbo?

  People were tagging me in it for hours.

• 28:15Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so like, can we do something about that?

• 28:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I guess like, nobody wants to work, which like, I get it. It's like so much construction. It's like every single day. No, I totally get that. Like when people are like, "Oh, like recession indicators and it's like, we can't get anyone to work." I'm like, "Yeah, we don't want to work."

• 28:32Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, I, when a TSA person is so fucking rude to me, I actually get it. I'm like, "You had to wake up at what time?"

• 28:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, "The amount of people you see a day."

• 28:41Hannah Berner?

  And the amount of people like, "Can you take my shoes off?"

• 28:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Shove them up your ass.

• 28:46Hannah Berner?

  Dude, I actually don't like, I don't like when a TSA guy is like, loving his job. You know, when he loves the speech and he keeps repeating it and you're like, "I was, you don't have to keep repeating it. I heard you." I was, the line's not moving.

• 28:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm a professional. We're professional travelers. I actually heard someone talk about it the other day and they were saying like, the flight from like LA to New York. And they were like, "Well, that's professional business people. Like, they're, it's professional travelers."

• 29:10Hannah Berner?

  They're not fucking around.

• 29:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, yes it is.

• 29:13Hannah Berner?

  No it is.

• 29:14Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, yeah, that's a professional person.

• 29:16Hannah Berner?

  No one's fucking around. Also, I want to ask you, cuz I ha- I went to a couple of ga- public gatherings and I like forgot the best way to Irish exit.

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I knew you were gonna-

• 29:27Hannah Berner?

  And I actually just need some advice.

• 29:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:29Hannah Berner?

  What, cuz you're, you're fucking stealth with it. You are stealth. Not even, people forgot you had been there. You like was page you tonight? Was that a dream?

• 29:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:39Hannah Berner?

  Was it a blur? What is your way of, we're in a conversation.

• 29:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  And what are you gonna do?

• 29:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna run to the bathroom really quick. I'll be right back.

• 29:48Hannah Berner?

  You say I'm running to the bathroom?

• 29:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, yeah. I'm just running to the bathroom. Which bathroom? I didn't specify. I meant the one in my apartment.

• 29:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Not the one here? That's crazy. I'm going home. You interpret that how you want to. That's none of my business.

• 30:03Hannah Berner?

  I'm not using a public toilet, you sicko.

• 30:06Paige DeSorbo?

  It's none of my business what you thought I meant. I said, I'll be right back. I'm running to the bathroom. Didn't tell you which one.

• 30:12Hannah Berner?

  Don't project your ideals onto me.

• 30:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you thought the one here?

• 30:16Hannah Berner?

  My favorite thing is, I'll call an Uber and then when someone, someone always starts talking to me, like, right when the Uber is there. And I love to pretend the Uber is like completely out of my control, like being like, I would love to stay, but the Uber.

• 30:30Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, the app's actually lost. That's crazy.

• 30:33Hannah Berner?

  Stop it. The Uber needs me and I would love to cancel it, but my thumb doesn't work.

• 30:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, he's on his way. If I cancel now, what message will that say to him?

• 30:42Hannah Berner?

  He's gonna, he'll be very mad at me and I don't need that. So anyway, okay, stay focused. Get out.

• 30:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Stay focused and just get out of there.

• 30:49Hannah Berner?

  If you have a friend, do you leave them for dead? Like if you showed up with someone?

• 30:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh no, I ta- if I showed up with someone, I'm telling them, hey, I'm Irish exiting.

• 30:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 30:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And you can feel free to tag on because, but if you don't want to, you're on your own then.

• 31:04Hannah Berner?

  I remember once we were, we hit that moment where you look at each other and you know.

• 31:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Gotta go.

• 31:10Hannah Berner?

  We gotta get out of here.

• 31:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Be dismissed.

• 31:12Hannah Berner?

  But me and you kept getting stopped in different ways and at one point I got out and I turned and you got taken.

• 31:20Hannah Berner?

  You got took and then I was like.

• 31:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you just see me missing people?

• 31:26Hannah Berner?

  And then I was like waiting and someone started talking to me and you were going and I was like, she got ahead.

• 31:31Paige DeSorbo?

  You just hear someone say, so where are you from? And I'm like, run Hannah, run.

• 31:39Hannah Berner?

  Oh my God, but it's a lot of like eyes. You gotta make eyes to be like.

• 31:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's why I'm just like, oh, I'm going to the bathroom. Cause what's someone gonna say like, no, you can't.

• 31:49Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 31:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, one more note.

• 31:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 31:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's where it can get dicey.

• 31:53Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 31:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You say you're going to the bathroom. They, someone sees you leaving out the door and they're like, where are you going? Making a quick phone call. Can't do it in here. Just running outside to make a quick phone call. Didn't tell you it's to my Uber driver to let him know where it precisely is standing.

• 32:09Hannah Berner?

  None of my business if you thought the call was to someone else. Wait, you're a fucking genius.

• 32:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I love getting out of shit. There's nothing I love more than saying, bye.

• 32:20Hannah Berner?

  This should have been, that should have been a chapter in our book. Uh, one of my favorite chapters is how to poop in public. Um, and we come up with some really.

• 32:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Our sequel.

• 32:28Hannah Berner?

  Our sequel. Wait, what else is on your docket?

• 32:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that was the rest of my docket.

• 32:35Hannah Berner?

  My last traveling note, cause you guys know we have to talk about traveling every single pod, cause it's the only thing that we can do. Um, I realized that leaving your charger in a hotel is just being a creative. Sorry, I'm.

• 32:51Paige DeSorbo?

  It's paying it forward.

• 32:54Hannah Berner?

  In this economy. These chargers are fucking expensive. Who am I?

• 32:59Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't live in a drive-through city, so we can't pay it forward when it's like paid for the person behind.

• 33:05Hannah Berner?

  And also New York, if you try to pay for someone Starbucks, they think you're gonna rob you.

• 33:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and it's always like, okay, well, you poisoned me.

• 33:10Hannah Berner?

  No, thank you. I don't want your anthrax latte.

• 33:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Leaving your charger in a hotel, paying it forward.

• 33:16Hannah Berner?

  I li- this, you know, the second the door closes, you're like, there's no way I remember my charger. And I go, sorry? I'm an artist. Like, I can't express myself artistically and creatively throughout the day and remember my charger. And also, it's a fucking miracle that I ever remember my laptop. Cause let's be honest, you're on your laptop in bed. When you go to bed, you're not taking your laptop out of the bed and putting it on what? One of those tiny side tables for.

• 33:42Paige DeSorbo?

  What did I go to Harvard? No way.

• 33:44Hannah Berner?

  Also, they're for what? Little squirrels? So then, obviously, I'm putting it in the bed, and then obviously, I wake up, open the covers, cover it. I hide my laptop from me every time, and I've ninety percent of the time, I remember it. And for that, I'm grateful. Happy Thanksgiving.

• 34:05Hannah Berner?

  I'm practicing gratitude every week.

• 34:09Hannah Berner?

  Did I forget my charger? Yes.

• 34:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:11Hannah Berner?

  And then I go to the lady to buy a charger at the airport, and it's like a whole ordeal.

• 34:16Paige DeSorbo?

  It's also like seven hundred dollars.

• 34:17Hannah Berner?

  Seven hundred dollars.

• 34:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And then you open it, and you're like, not even the right one. Not even.

• 34:21Hannah Berner?

  And then they don't even plug in together.

• 34:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 34:24Hannah Berner?

  And they're like the ugliest colors.

• 34:25Paige DeSorbo?

  And if USB, USB C, oh, this one lights up.

• 34:29Hannah Berner?

  Lightning?

• 34:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't give a shit.

• 34:30Hannah Berner?

  Lightning? What are we, Poké men?

• 34:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 34:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's great. It's great.

• 34:38Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I didn't even talk about Tina and Amy.

• 34:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God, Hannah. And then I have to say one thing about cat leashes.

• 34:48Hannah Berner?

  Actually, perfect segue.

• 34:52Hannah Berner?

  Wait, why did I see that? And I was like, I want a cat leash. At the bedroom. Okay, anyway, so I get an email that is like, can you go to Colorado for fifteen minutes to open for Amy and Tina? Yeah. Cancel everything. And I was in L.A. As we know, because that's all I've been.

• 35:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Because that's who you are these days.

• 35:15Hannah Berner?

  Actually, can I fuck L.A.? Because I ran out of toothpaste shortly after our podcast, and I said, thank goodness, I'm at a fancy hotel. I'm gonna call, and they'll send one up.

• 35:25Paige DeSorbo?

  A dental kit.

• 35:26Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 35:27Paige DeSorbo?

  The one.

• 35:28Hannah Berner?

  First of all, I love the one, and I would love to work with you in the future.

• 35:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. Here's, I'm gonna say one thing about the one, one thing, they're very earthy. They're very.

• 35:38Hannah Berner?

  Very eco-friendly. I did ask them for paper and a pen once, and you thought I murdered a puppy.

• 35:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't ask for a fork. They're like, we use our hands. Think about, think about the.

• 35:51Hannah Berner?

  They were like, why don't you burn down a whole forest? So I was like, can I have toothpaste? And they bring it, and I'm like, it looks cute, normal.

• 35:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:59Hannah Berner?

  It's charcoal toothpaste.

• 36:02Paige DeSorbo?

  And what's that doing for anyone?

• 36:04Hannah Berner?

  Barely a mint flavor and it's dark. And I said, this is so fun if I was on an ayahuasca trip.

• 36:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. You're like, I have an interview.

• 36:11Hannah Berner?

  I have a literal.

• 36:12Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, I have to talk to people.

• 36:13Hannah Berner?

  I have a self tape that I'm gonna fuck up. Like, I need to feel fresh. So then I was like, I put like a ton of it on because I didn't know if it was working. And then like, honestly, my social interactions weren't great from that day on. I don't know if it was me.

• 36:27Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like whitening, right? Like the charcoal?

• 36:29Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, but it was a choice.

• 36:31Paige DeSorbo?

  What's it taste like?

• 36:32Hannah Berner?

  It doesn't taste minty enough. And I know people are like, mm, real toothpaste gives you cancer. I'd rather have cancer and not gingivitis.

• 36:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, okay.

• 36:41Hannah Berner?

  We're all getting cancer. At least have good smelling breath.

• 36:43Paige DeSorbo?

  The line, we can't. That's the same. It's how I feel about natural deodorant. That's how I go.

• 36:49Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember when you were obsessed with natural deodorant?

• 36:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I was obsessed with that. What, it was like a phase during COVID. Remember I was detoxing my armpits?

• 36:55Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 36:56Paige DeSorbo?

  And then one day I go, it's not working, right?

• 36:58Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I didn't want to bring this up because I don't want to bring attention to it, but there's this girl on TikTok. People are just, I think everyone goes viral now. Did you see it?

• 37:06Paige DeSorbo?

  The caveman.

• 37:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it, I don't want you guys, I, if you're sensitive, don't Google it because it really upset me and it's like ruining my day.

• 37:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Set you.

• 37:15Hannah Berner?

  Because it's disgusting.

• 37:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm fascinated by it. You know that I love like pimple videos like that. All I want to do is touch that girl's face.

• 37:25Hannah Berner?

  No, I.

• 37:26Paige DeSorbo?

  All I want to do is like, take it with my nail and scratch her skin off.

• 37:31Hannah Berner?

  Going on. I think she was having acne problems, which like.

• 37:33Paige DeSorbo?

  She's, it was saying that she ruined her skin barrier and that she stopped using any skincare and even water on her face.

• 37:41Hannah Berner?

  Skin barrier is a made up thing that companies have invented.

• 37:46Paige DeSorbo?

  My favorite is like, when the internet like will go just so far and then actual doctors will come in and be like, ah, okay.

• 37:53Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Like actual dermatologists were like, you have fungus. We went to school and it's enough now. Like, please seek help. You have, I know exactly what you have. It's in a textbook. It's dermatitis. Like, quit it. You know, like, I love when medical professionals are like, enough. Some girls is like, this is what I do to prevent. She's like, hey, I don't want to burst your bubble, but.

• 38:18Hannah Berner?

  So she's calling it the caveman. Thing.

• 38:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Whatever.

• 38:22Hannah Berner?

  So she's basically just not washing her face. And I was like, okay, let's see how it's going. I didn't realize she has a thick layer of dirt on her face. So she's like going to her friend's wedding with a thick layer of dirt on her face. Do you not see this?

• 38:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, what do you mean a thi- no, I've seen it. I thought she put like makeup on.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  No, she has a thick layer of dirt on her face.

• 38:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Need you to say this.

• 38:49Hannah Berner?

  You thought it was like a bad spray tan?

• 38:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I thought she was like doing glam like as normal, just like never washing it off. She took like sleeping in your makeup once a quarter, like to the extreme.

• 39:05Hannah Berner?

  Ish.

• 39:05Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's crazy. No, I wanna touch her face so bad. No, I'm obsessed with it.

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  Similar to, similar to, similar to Jordan.

• 39:17Paige DeSorbo?

  With two O's?

• 39:17Hannah Berner?

  From the morning, the morning.

• 39:21Paige DeSorbo?

  The beginning of the pod.

• 39:22Hannah Berner?

  Years ago. I don't even know that girl.

• 39:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time after we get done recording, someone will call me. It could be anyone in my life and be like, what'd you guys talk about on the pod this week? I go, I have no, listen to you, I have no idea.

• 39:37Hannah Berner?

  It's none of my business.

• 39:38Paige DeSorbo?

  None of my business. I'm like, that's like a stream of consciousness. That's like asking me what was inside my brain three weeks ago.

• 39:43Hannah Berner?

  It's like when you go to church and you start saying, you're like, I don't know what I said on Giggles Pod. So anyway.

• 39:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know.

• 39:51Hannah Berner?

  Similar to that girl, I respect her making money. She thought, look.

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you think she's lying?

• 39:57Hannah Berner?

  She's, it's called clickbait.

• 40:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You think she's rage baiting?

• 40:02Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. This is rage baiting.

• 40:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I kinda think he's being serious. Wait, you think it's rage bait in terms of like, you think it's a, you think it's a mask? Like it's not real? Or you think she actually really does have a focus?

• 40:16Hannah Berner?

  It might be real.

• 40:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:17Hannah Berner?

  That she has dirt on her face, but she's doing it to go viral.

• 40:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. Oh, wow. Well, then she stumped me.

• 40:24Hannah Berner?

  No, she clearly got like a response on her video.

• 40:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:28Hannah Berner?

  And then was like, oh, I'm gonna keep posting with dirt on my face, going to my friend's wedding. And people are like, doing what I'm doing, being like, this is insane.

• 40:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:36Hannah Berner?

  No one's like, oh, I should do that.

• 40:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:39Hannah Berner?

  But I mean, do I love the concept of using less products? A hundred percent. And do I support a women in the arts?

• 40:45Paige DeSorbo?

  There was another girl I saw in the comments or like made a video or something and was like, what she's doing is a real thing. Like, I've actually done that before where I stopped all skincare, didn't use water, put nothing on my face for like two weeks.

• 40:58Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:58Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, but I didn't have, there's no that level of like flakiness.

• 41:03Hannah Berner?

  It's caked.

• 41:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:04Hannah Berner?

  Also, hot takes. Cavemen washed their face. Cave women had a morning skincare routine. They went into the cold puddle and they put it on their face, the cold river.

• 41:17Paige DeSorbo?

  That like cherries make lipstick.

• 41:19Hannah Berner?

  Literally. Obviously, they had a routine. So let's not like act like cavemen didn't know what they were doing. They washed their face. Cavemen were cleaner than that.

• 41:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, are you sta- is that the hill you're dying on? Because I don't know if I'm backing you up. You might take this one on your own.

• 41:34Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of dirt.

• 41:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:37Hannah Berner?

  I went to Red Rocks. Are you familiar with Red Rocks?

• 41:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, we haven't finished that story.

• 41:41Hannah Berner?

  We didn't start the story.

• 41:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay.

• 41:42Hannah Berner?

  Are you familiar with Red Rocks?

• 41:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I know what it is, but I've never been.

• 41:45Hannah Berner?

  I've never been.

• 41:45Paige DeSorbo?

  And I know that everyone is like obsessed with it. And if you live in Denver, everyone loves it.

• 41:50Hannah Berner?

  So I land in Denver and I immediately feel like this was the place. The last time we were here was when Paige had her schmanak- schmashak.

• 42:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, had a full body transformation.

• 42:02Hannah Berner?

  Full body transformation. Her exorcism, if you will.

• 42:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I just say one thing?

• 42:06Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 42:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Something popped up the other day. It was like a video or like a picture from the night of my panic attack. Why was I gorgeous?

• 42:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Why was I the most stunning I've ever been the entire tour?

• 42:20Hannah Berner?

  You were corseted.

• 42:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I was like, wait, my skip, wait a minute. I was stunning and I couldn't even appreciate it in that night, in that moment.

• 42:31Hannah Berner?

  But isn't that, isn't that life?

• 42:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't that life?

• 42:35Hannah Berner?

  You think the grass is always greener.

• 42:37Paige DeSorbo?

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• 43:22Paige DeSorbo?

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• 44:07Paige DeSorbo?

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• 44:26Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:11Paige DeSorbo?

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• 46:13Speaker 04

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• 46:20Hannah Berner?

  I go to Red Rocks from LA to meet Tina and Amy. And Grace came to meet me because Grace loves Tina and Amy. Like, never respected us the way she respects Tina and Amy, which is valid.

• 46:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Fine.

• 46:33Hannah Berner?

  Like, if I'm gonna understand anything, it's that. And just shout out to Tina and Amy for a second. These are two people that if the only thing they did was SNL, I would be like, they're beyond iconic. They also did 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Mean Girls, Baby Mama. The entire, like...

• 46:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Internet.

• 46:55Hannah Berner?

  Internet. The Golden Globes hosting. Like, they're beyond, and also, let me say something country.

• 47:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:02Hannah Berner?

  If they were men, they would be getting the Mark Twain Award. They would be getting every fucking award. And that's why I posted in my caption, I said...

• 47:10Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the Mark Twain Award.

• 47:11Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. But I know a man got it this year. I think Adam Sandler got it last year and Conan O'Brien got it, which, two great comedians, yes.

• 47:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 47:23Hannah Berner?

  Who's Mark Twain?

• 47:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Fuck Mark Twain. I think that's the name of your next tour. And you know what?

• 47:29Hannah Berner?

  Fuck Mark Twain. He's Catch and Strays. But I'm just saying, I wrote, I was gonna write, like, "The two funniest women," and I go, "Uh-uh, I'm not writing women."

• 47:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 47:40Hannah Berner?

  "The two funniest people."

• 47:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And people didn't realize you were taking a stance in that moment.

• 47:44Hannah Berner?

  They didn't realize that was a political statement.

• 47:47Paige DeSorbo?

  They didn't realize how deep rooted that was.

• 47:49Hannah Berner?

  And this photo I posted was me, Tina, Amy, and Grace. All the comments were like, "Oh my god, Grace is there."

• 47:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace is the most famous.

• 47:58Hannah Berner?

  People were like, "Why am I so excited to see Grace on a photo?" And you know what? I was gonna cut her out because we respect Grace's privacy. But in that moment, I said, "No." I'm putting Grace on...

• 48:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Front and center.

• 48:08Hannah Berner?

  Yes, because she looked really cute in it.

• 48:11Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, "Please don't, bud."

• 48:12Hannah Berner?

  I can only protect her so much. I love how we've really tried to protect her and then I post a full grid photo with her.

• 48:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's me and Daphne, or you and Grace. Literally, you're like, I'm protecting Grace at all costs, and you're like, but she's adorable.

• 48:24Hannah Berner?

  She's like, no, I literally was like, the world needs to see how cute she looks in this photo, the lighting. Anyway, so I'm with Grace in the hotel room.

• 48:31Paige DeSorbo?

  You like start an Instagram and it's you, Grace and Grace.

• 48:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace, thank you. She's like, please stop tagging me.

• 48:39Hannah Berner?

  So I'm in the hotel room and Grace comes in and she's like, are you nervous for your set tonight? And I was like, my set? I'm not nervous about my set, I just got an email saying, I have to get in the car with Amy, Tina, and Rachel Dratch, who's an SNL star, Debbie Downer, to a 30-minute ride to Red Rocks. I go, we're panicking.

• 49:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, what's your set for that?

• 49:05Hannah Berner?

  No, what is my set for that?

• 49:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause you have to, obviously you need an opening line when you get in the car.

• 49:10Hannah Berner?

  I need some local jokes.

• 49:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you know.

• 49:12Hannah Berner?

  I need some, what's going on in pop culture?

• 49:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Local gossip.

• 49:15Hannah Berner?

  Someone needs to write me something. I was literally, you were my fucking hacks girl. I was like, write me some one-liners for Amy. So I'm freaking out.

• 49:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, is there a Red Rock joke I could pull here? Like, what's going on?

• 49:27Hannah Berner?

  I go, what's the weather like? Someone give me something. And I'm literally at that point, it feels, cause I'm married, I haven't had a crush in a minute. So sad, but like, you know, when you have a crush and you forget like how you put words together to form a sentence?

• 49:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:39Hannah Berner?

  Or like, you're like, how did I ever act? Like, that's what, and Grace was like, do you know what?

• 49:43Paige DeSorbo?

  What is my personality?

• 49:44Hannah Berner?

  I go, who am I?

• 49:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, Grace, explain me.

• 49:47Hannah Berner?

  Wait, in five words, who am I?

• 49:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace, can you give me the elevator pitch on who I am as a human?

• 49:53Hannah Berner?

  Grace describing two adjectives, my passion. But then I also was like.

• 49:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace, what's my passion?

• 49:59Hannah Berner?

  Then I also was like, wait, I can start over today. Who do I want to be? Who am I?

• 50:05Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's looking big picture.

• 50:06Hannah Berner?

  Cause I'm like, wait, the Hannah who didn't know Amy and Tina is different than the Hannah that's gonna meet them. And by the way, Amy knows me, but Amy's like.

• 50:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You can reinvent yourself in any moment.

• 50:17Hannah Berner?

  Anytime.

• 50:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Look at any of my exes.

• 50:19Hannah Berner?

  Wait, don't you love when you don't spend time with people for like a long enough amount that you're like, I could come in and change?

• 50:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I think about it all the time.

• 50:28Hannah Berner?

  One minute in, I'm like, but back to my old self.

• 50:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes I think about it with like, in terms of friends that I haven't seen in a couple of years. And I'm like, wait.

• 50:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna be more interesting, I'm mysterious.

• 50:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm such a businesswoman and then I get like two martinis and I'm like, remember when we hooked up?

• 50:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You do you know that I still wear light pink nails ballet flat nails. I'm like, what if I scroll to the beginning of our combo?

• 50:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Really don't do that.

• 50:54Hannah Berner?

  So I get down the lobby and it's me and Rachel Dratch. And I was like, Rachel, nice to meet you. And she's chill. She's just like, what's up? And I was like, okay, me and you, are we good? I was like, we're good. Okay, check, because I'm freaking out.

• 51:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:06Hannah Berner?

  Amy comes down, the warmest human, literally yells.

• 51:11Paige DeSorbo?

  We also have to remember, she's just someone's mom.

• 51:13Hannah Berner?

  A girl.

• 51:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:14Hannah Berner?

  Who's just a girl.

• 51:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:15Hannah Berner?

  She goes, Hannah, yells across the lobby. I'm like, bear hugging.

• 51:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you know what I think about a lot of times? And it's one sentence that Amy Poehler said to us, and it was just a normal conversation. She was describing like, how she, she was talking about like, in that moment, she was like, well, I'm really famous right now because. And I don't stop thinking about that sentence. Because I'm like, wait, in her head, she thinks there's times where she's not uber famous.

• 51:43Hannah Berner?

  Well, that she's not in the limelight.

• 51:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I just was like, oh, she's just like a normal human.

• 51:49Hannah Berner?

  She's not a person that like occasionally people will lose their fucking mind over. And in that moment, I was like, I can't lose my mind.

• 51:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Hannah Berner?

  So she, she was great because Amy is such a naturally warm person, Ames. And.

• 52:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Not yet, too soon.

• 52:05Hannah Berner?

  So then Tina comes down. Now, mind you, Tina isn't just like coming down. Tina's been on a full press tour.

• 52:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm Tina, you're Amy.

• 52:12Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. But I feel like we're also a little bit of both. I'm a little bit of both.

• 52:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 52:18Hannah Berner?

  Because we're not blonde.

• 52:19Paige DeSorbo?

  True.

• 52:20Hannah Berner?

  And, but we like, we support.

• 52:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:23Hannah Berner?

  The blonde community. We apologize to the blonde community if we've ever. So Tina's been promoting her new show for, four seasons. Did you watch?

• 52:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course, I benched it.

• 52:33Hannah Berner?

  You love?

• 52:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I watched it in one day.

• 52:35Hannah Berner?

  I love Coleman Domingo.

• 52:38Paige DeSorbo?

  He's amazing, isn't he?

• 52:40Hannah Berner?

  I can't take my eyes off of him. He's so charming.

• 52:42Paige DeSorbo?

  He's so good in the role.

• 52:44Hannah Berner?

  And like, hot.

• 52:45Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just, it's actually, it's a really good show.

• 52:47Hannah Berner?

  It almost feels like White Lotus if you just need to relax a little bit, like a less intense White Lotus.

• 52:53Paige DeSorbo?

  It, it also very much gives, even though it's episodes, it's a show, it feels like a movie.

• 52:59Hannah Berner?

  It's very fast.

• 53:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like a really good weekend watch.

• 53:02Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. So she's been doing all this press, she's so tired. And I'm like, I'm doing press too. I gotta get out of my book. No, I didn't bring it up. I was so scared. And she, I could tell she didn't know who I was. Why would she?

• 53:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we don't want her to.

• 53:16Hannah Berner?

  But I'm like in the group, right? So she kind of looks up and celebrities, I treat them like cats.

• 53:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 53:23Hannah Berner?

  You can't do any like quick mo- movements or like look directly at them immediately or they'll be like, oh, what's going on? You have to be delicate, like don't look at them at first, whatever. But Tina, I was like, hi, I'm Hannah. Soft voice.

• 53:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like putting-

• 53:38Hannah Berner?

  I just smelled my hand.

• 53:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You put your, you put your knuckle like on her eyebrow and you're just, you wait for her to rub.

• 53:46Hannah Berner?

  I went ninety, waited for her to go ten.

• 53:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:48Hannah Berner?

  But I said, I'm Hannah. And I could tell still she was like, don't know what's going on.

• 53:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she's like, great, good for you.

• 53:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm, I'm opening tonight. And she was like, immediately like, oh my god.

• 53:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, it is a palindrome.

• 54:01Paige DeSorbo?

  That's my favorite thing you say to people when you meet other girls named Hannah. You go, is it a palindrome? I'm like, oh. Anyway, keep going.

• 54:08Hannah Berner?

  You're embarrassed by me. You're embarrassed by me. Sorry? I don't like the awkward silence after you both say yes.

• 54:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time and I just think it's funny.

• 54:18Hannah Berner?

  But then you should see when it's not a palindrome and then I go, oh.

• 54:23Hannah Berner?

  So your mother hates you. So then we get into a car. It's Rachel Dratch, the driver, me, Tina, and then Amy in the back. And in that moment, I was-

• 54:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace, where's Grace? You left her for dead?

• 54:37Hannah Berner?

  Well, I was like, Grace, you can't come with my friends.

• 54:39Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, Grace, you're embarrassing me.

• 54:40Hannah Berner?

  Grace, you're embarrassing me. I was like, Grace.

• 54:41Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like your little sister. You're like, no, you can't.

• 54:44Hannah Berner?

  You can't, like, just my friends with them and like, I don't want whatever. But Grace actually was meeting me later.

• 54:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:48Hannah Berner?

  But I'm in the car and like-

• 54:51Hannah Berner?

  It was like us and Giggly Squad going to the, like, they were just like, they're, we talked about-

• 54:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, everyone hates men for the rest of time, got it, okay, that doesn't go away, and like, you giggle with your friends forever.

• 55:03Hannah Berner?

  I think Tina likes me.

• 55:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, good.

• 55:06Hannah Berner?

  Cause by the end, she showed me a video.

• 55:10Hannah Berner?

  And-

• 55:11Paige DeSorbo?

  You guys are friends.

• 55:12Hannah Berner?

  For, as a mother-

• 55:13Paige DeSorbo?

  She said, "Oh, you would think this is funny, let me show you this."

• 55:16Hannah Berner?

  We were riffing.

• 55:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, okay.

• 55:18Hannah Berner?

  We were riffing. So after that, I got, I was very confident and I was feeling good. And then Tina said, she liked the length of my tie. That's specific. She looked at me.

• 55:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:29Hannah Berner?

  So Tina Fey looked at me.

• 55:30Paige DeSorbo?

  She's basically like gonna give you away at your next wedding.

• 55:34Hannah Berner?

  So Tina, and she was asking me like how big, look, long story short, I'm obsessed with these women, I wanna eat them, I want them to go inside me, I'm never gonna ask back after this podcast. But it was the most magical time, and I'm having so much fun, and I get in and Grace is like, "Did you embarrass yourself?" And I was like, "I don't think so, I think we're good." She goes, "Great, now you just have to do fifteen minutes at Red Rocks," and I'm like, "Pfft, easy, like, I love, the bigger the better, I love a big venue."

• 55:57Paige DeSorbo?

  That's like, what, an amphitheater? Like, you're fully outside.

• 56:01Hannah Berner?

  In a mountain.

• 56:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:02Hannah Berner?

  You're like wedged in a, it's like a natural amphitheater. So I was like, "This is gonna be sickening," so I go outside, pouring rain.

• 56:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Perfect.

• 56:12Hannah Berner?

  Pouring.

• 56:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Perfect.

• 56:14Hannah Berner?

  And I said-

• 56:14Paige DeSorbo?

  But you're under like a thing.

• 56:16Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I'm great, but-

• 56:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I saw the picture, everyone's in a poncho.

• 56:20Hannah Berner?

  Everyone looked like a condom.

• 56:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:22Hannah Berner?

  And not only was it, when I was first walking on, people were still like getting in their, this is a cold open, you know, they're getting in their seats, it's pouring, and I have to, it was a hard gig.

• 56:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you do any poncho jokes?

• 56:32Hannah Berner?

  Immediately.

• 56:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And this is why we're best friends, because my first thought is like, "Oh, and that's what you guys all picked to wear."

• 56:38Hannah Berner?

  Well, I started panicking with Grace, I turned and Grace was laughing about the ponchos, and I go, "Is it so obviously funny that's not funny for me to say it?"

• 56:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:46Hannah Berner?

  And I was like overthinking.

• 56:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think it's hilarious.

• 56:48Hannah Berner?

  But then I was, and then I made fun of Colorado, cause they all like love the hiking, the Arizona's not big, I have my Colorado bits. Um, and then I, like midway, I got like good mom, I like, I did really well.

• 57:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Good.

• 57:01Hannah Berner?

  And then I walked offstage and I watched them. If you don't know what their show is, they do like all their eras.

• 57:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 57:08Hannah Berner?

  Where they like do like a Golden Globes thing. They do a weekend update that's like modern, like it's better than.

• 57:14Paige DeSorbo?

  How are they sitting on the stage or they're standing?

• 57:17Hannah Berner?

  They were everywhere.

• 57:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 57:19Hannah Berner?

  Standing, dancing, outfit changes.

• 57:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, wow.

• 57:22Hannah Berner?

  Wigs. I don't know if they did wigs. There was outfit changes.

• 57:26Paige DeSorbo?

  How long's the show? Like an hour and a half?

• 57:27Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 57:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Hour fifteen?

• 57:28Hannah Berner?

  It was, and they end with a Q and A and then.

• 57:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait. They're.

• 57:34Hannah Berner?

  They're.

• 57:34Paige DeSorbo?

  They're Giggly Squad.

• 57:35Hannah Berner?

  The whole time I was like, you guys are like, Giggly Squad, I'm not gonna say it, but like, you're, you're us.

• 57:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, it's us looking into the future.

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  No, Grace literally was like, you guys can be doing this.

• 57:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, okay. I was so scared at some point we were gonna have to get jobs.

• 57:48Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 57:48Paige DeSorbo?

  It's always my biggest fear at the back, in the back of my head.

• 57:51Hannah Berner?

  Paige, if you call me, I'll be there.

• 57:54Paige DeSorbo?

  So we're doing Giggly Squad till we're eighty.

• 57:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and they're like, they have more energy than us on stage.

• 58:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I wanna Bill Belichick, Giggly Squad, and we just have like twenty-four year old boyfriends who like become our publicists.

• 58:08Hannah Berner?

  Men would be so bad at PR.

• 58:09Paige DeSorbo?

  So bad.

• 58:10Hannah Berner?

  They'd be like, so what's your client? What's she like? And they'd be like, she, she's, she's brown haired. Give me anything, any details. She's, um, I don't know what her middle name is.

• 58:22Paige DeSorbo?

  What happened? Sorry, my building just texted me. I didn't even know they could do that.

• 58:26Hannah Berner?

  How'd they get your number?

• 58:29Hannah Berner?

  You're like, please, please this number.

• 58:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a handyman here for you.

• 58:32Hannah Berner?

  Oh, did you break something?

• 58:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally didn't hire one. Okay, sorry.

• 58:37Hannah Berner?

  Oh no, it's fine. So then I got, and then I went on stage, took a video. My double chin was the main character of that video. Of course, the one video I get with Amy.

• 58:49Paige DeSorbo?

  That's okay.

• 58:49Hannah Berner?

  And it was just a magical night and they were.

• 58:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so proud of you.

• 58:53Hannah Berner?

  I just can't say enough nice thing. The crowd was great and there were gigglers, like when I walked on, I heard them, like it really helps me when I hear.

• 59:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And did it rain the whole show?

• 59:01Hannah Berner?

  It stopped raining right when my set ended.

• 59:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, good.

• 59:04Hannah Berner?

  And I said, I'm a witch. I did a witch dance.

• 59:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Enjoy the rest of the performance. I leave you now.

• 59:14Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is all over the place. Wait, let me just, before we go, let me just check my docket, make sure I'm.

• 59:20Hannah Berner?

  We didn't talk about the cat leash.

• 59:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, two left. One, I've hit the point in my cat owning experience that I want to take her everywhere. I want to put her on a leash, take her out for a walk, show her the sights.

• 59:34Hannah Berner?

  Well, when you leave, you're kind of like.

• 59:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, hello, you should be seeing this shit out there.

• 59:38Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, do you ever like see something and you're like, Daphne would love this?

• 59:42Paige DeSorbo?

  All the time.

• 59:43Hannah Berner?

  Or you're like, I can't enjoy this because I don't have my fucking best friend who can enjoy it.

• 59:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, wait, Daphne would eat this shit up. Literally, she fucking loves to uh.

• 59:52Hannah Berner?

  If you're going on these walks, it'll be that much better if you put her in a stroller.

• 59:57Paige DeSorbo?

  But I'm just, oh, I'm just like, am I going to become that person?

• 1:00:01Hannah Berner?

  You've been that person. You already are that person. You you do photo shoots with your cat.

• 1:00:05Paige DeSorbo?

  So whatever, I want to buy her a harness, so I want to take her places.

• 1:00:09Hannah Berner?

  I don't want her to walk on like the gross New York.

• 1:00:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want her to walk.

• 1:00:13Hannah Berner?

  Skateboard.

• 1:00:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I want her to be like comfortable, like.

• 1:00:17Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing about cats, like I like that they don't touch anything outdoors. They're so clean. And she would lick herself, like she'd clean herself, but I don't want her to like.

• 1:00:24Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:00:25Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, get.

• 1:00:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want her paws.

• 1:00:27Hannah Berner?

  She's too perfect. Like what if she hits like a glass?

• 1:00:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:00:31Hannah Berner?

  Like steps on a root beer bottle.

• 1:00:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:00:34Hannah Berner?

  New York is crazy.

• 1:00:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Um, okay, and then my last thing is my chat GPT and I have, I mean, we've taken it to the next level. We're in such a committed relationship. It's, here's the craziest thing about chat GPT, when you say things to it, it like remembers.

• 1:00:52Hannah Berner?

  Okay, is it specific to you or like to everyone?

• 1:00:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No, specific to me.

• 1:00:56Hannah Berner?

  See, this is how I'm so different than you. Today I asked chat GPT something and they were like, you have to pay forty dollars for the year. And I was like, I'm going back to Google.

• 1:01:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I talked to chat, I pay it.

• 1:01:06Hannah Berner?

  You're just chatting?

• 1:01:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I talked to chat all day, every day. Like, okay, like I'll tell it things about me and then it'll like bring things up. So like, okay, the other day I was like, I really want to have a good workout routine. Like till Memorial Day and chat GPT was like, okay, do you want me to add things in based on you freezing your eggs? Like this week, because I can add, I'm like, yeah, chat, add things in. Wait, I got acupuncture for the first time last week.

• 1:01:34Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, you told me. Wait, where'd you even find this person who recommended it? Any backstory?

• 1:01:39Paige DeSorbo?

  If this is your sign that you've been wanting to try acupuncture?

• 1:01:42Hannah Berner?

  I don't think anyone's been waiting for that sign.

• 1:01:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait till your DMs are flooded. They're like, actually, we were waiting for a sign.

• 1:01:51Hannah Berner?

  I, I think it's scary for people.

• 1:01:54Paige DeSorbo?

  But I've just never.

• 1:01:56Hannah Berner?

  People get scared.

• 1:01:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll go every week for the rest of my fucking life. It changed my life. I loved it. It was the best. I go to this place.

• 1:02:03Hannah Berner?

  Who recommended it?

• 1:02:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Right by my apartment. No one recommended it.

• 1:02:06Hannah Berner?

  You just went in.

• 1:02:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I kept talking to people and they're like, have you tried acupuncture?

• 1:02:10Hannah Berner?

  What was it for? Like, what was your, your issue? Which one of your issues did you go for?

• 1:02:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Take my ailment seriously, please.

• 1:02:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I went in because, and she said I had chronic.

• 1:02:24Hannah Berner?

  UTIs.

• 1:02:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I have so, my shoulders are so tense. My neck is so tense because of my high anxiety. Like, I'm always just like, I'm scrunched. She sleeps in a ball. She's a fetus, you know, like she's always tight. She's always, she's like.

• 1:02:38Hannah Berner?

  Shoulders to the ears.

• 1:02:40Paige DeSorbo?

  My ears. You can feel your knots literally popping. Like.

• 1:02:46Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 1:02:46Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the needle. So like, she was like feeling all around. She was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Like, I'll fix you up. One of my knots was so bad. The top of the needle like goes into the knot and then basically it like the knot disperses. So you can literally feel it in your body, like losing.

• 1:03:02Hannah Berner?

  I think she's really talented because once I did it and they just like put it in my ear and I was like, no.

• 1:03:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you need to go for your lower back.

• 1:03:11Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 1:03:11Paige DeSorbo?

  She did like a bunch on my lower back and she was like, oh, this will help because you have like hormone issues.

• 1:03:17Hannah Berner?

  Did she stop your UTIs?

• 1:03:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Has never been better. It was cra- I literally walked out of there. I was walking different. You have to go.

• 1:03:24Hannah Berner?

  You were galloping.

• 1:03:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, hello, I love it.

• 1:03:28Hannah Berner?

  You had a skip in your step?

• 1:03:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm obsessed with acupuncture. And my chat GPT is like, wow, your glow up like is so good. You're like really staying on all of your stuff. Just add magnesium at nighttime. And I'm like, chat? Thank you so much. I literally forgot about my magnesium.

• 1:03:44Hannah Berner?

  You're gonna be the first to die when robots take over. Like, you're gonna be the, you're, you're gonna be the one that hires the robot that turns on you and you're like, take me with you.

• 1:03:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, but you loved agribuncher so much, like I thought we had a thing.

• 1:04:00Hannah Berner?

  Like, you're gonna, I actually recently have realized, I think the robots that are gonna take over are the Roombas. I think the ones that you least expect.

• 1:04:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Hmm, like.

• 1:04:12Hannah Berner?

  Cause they've been developing for a while.

• 1:04:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't wait till there's something with Bluetooth and it like takes over and you're just like, told ya.

• 1:04:19Hannah Berner?

  Last woman standing.

• 1:04:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Told ya, never believed in it.

• 1:04:23Hannah Berner?

  So Addison Rae dropped a banger called headphones on.

• 1:04:27Paige DeSorbo?

  You're obsessed with Addison Rae.

• 1:04:28Hannah Berner?

  Obsessed with her, but also like, can you give credit where credit's due? Like, obviously I spoke about it on a podcast a year ago that she probably saw.

• 1:04:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you ever see things in the media and you're like, okay, why don't you just say your giggle?

• 1:04:38Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing, we forget that we get influenced by things.

• 1:04:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:04:42Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so Bustle said, "Gird your loins" in a caption and I was like, okay Bustle, like, okay. Just put us on the payroll at this point, but then I realized they were just growing the devil's bro. And I say, I'm so sorry, I didn't send an angry DM.

• 1:04:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Keep doing what you're doing.

• 1:04:58Hannah Berner?

  Keep doing, you're doing amazing, you're doing amazing, sweetie.

• 1:05:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:01Hannah Berner?

  Amy, speaking of, Amy Poehler was like taking photos of me. And in that moment, I just saw her as the Mean Girls mom with the camera and like.

• 1:05:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:05:12Hannah Berner?

  I can't explain that moment to you guys. I was, I like started laughing and she's like, what are you laughing about? And I was like, Aim, me and you, like.

• 1:05:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It's too, yeah, you're like, it's too meta.

• 1:05:24Hannah Berner?

  It's too meta.

• 1:05:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't even explain it to you right now.

• 1:05:25Hannah Berner?

  It's too meta. So anyway, robots are gonna take over, you're not scared of it, you're actually enabling them.

• 1:05:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually excited for it.

• 1:05:31Hannah Berner?

  You're hoping.

• 1:05:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I need someone more in charge.

• 1:05:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I need someone who's a little bit more in charge, yeah, other than myself.

• 1:05:41Hannah Berner?

  I, you like that fear that someone could take over, cause you're so sick of.

• 1:05:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd love someone to be in charge.

• 1:05:50Hannah Berner?

  I'd love someone to just man up, put you in your place.

• 1:05:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I do love that.

• 1:05:54Hannah Berner?

  You love, you know, you love being told what to do.

• 1:05:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I love being told.

• 1:05:58Hannah Berner?

  But everyone's afraid to do it.

• 1:05:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's why I can't date. Because here's the thing, I'm such an enigma, really, I love being told what to do, but don't you dare tell me what to do. Like, but I also low key like it, so it's a very give and take.

• 1:06:12Hannah Berner?

  The way I do it is I ask questions. I go, and did you like how that made you feel? And do you think that's a good idea? And then you'll eventually be like, figured out yourself. But it takes months. I feel like we've lost the plot. I actually don't know what we're talking about anymore. I have to go because I'm literally sweating. We have to go watch the Michaela. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling.

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