Giggling about our favorite moments of 2024

We're celebrating another year of giggling with our favorite moments of 2024. Thanks for giggling with us get tickets to live shows pre-order our book sign up for our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling and it's one of the best feelings ever. From engraveable pieces to festive charms to lab-grown diamonds, Pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who really inspire you and the ones that you really know. Give them a piece that says exactly what words can't. Pandora, more than a gift. Shop new styles in-store or online at pandora.net. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  You know I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery.

• 1:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Just to let you guys know, cold weather is back, but there's no need to dread this year thanks to Bombas. Their socks, slippers, and footwear help keep you warm all winter long. Plus, everything they make is great for gifting, making holiday shopping one less thing to stress about. I just ordered a bunch of new Bombas because my socks just like get up and walk away. So I'm constantly ordering socks. It's like one of my things. And for every item purchased, Bombas donates one to someone facing housing insecurity with over 200 million items donated and counting. I personally love their cozy socks because for me cozy sock season is all year round. I don't discriminate just in the winter. So head over to bombas.com/gigglysquad and use code GIGGLYSQUAD for 20% off your first purchase.

• 2:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, Gigglers?

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be nannas.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:23Hannah Berner?

  Okay, it's that time of year. We put together all our favorite moments. And by we, I mean Grace. She really went through like a needle in a haystack and found all the gold from 2024. All the moments that made you giggle the most. And I also have to say that we have a surprising drop on Netflix. I went to LA to shoot Torch in 2024. A roast of the year with Jeff Ross and Sam Morril, Mark Norman, Tim Dillon and Miss Pat. And I put together a set roasting the year of 2024. So make sure that you watch that.

• 3:04Hannah Berner?

  It comes out on December 27th on Netflix where I roast the year. Watch it, let me know what your favorite joke was and we'll talk about it in the upcoming episodes of Giggly. I'll give you all the jokes that maybe didn't make the cut. Um, thank you guys so much for another amazing year. Giggling with you guys is our favorite. Okay, sorry, that was corny. Men tried to get women from, to stop gossiping back in the day because they was sharing information so they would know what's going on.

• 3:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:28Hannah Berner?

  So gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy.

• 3:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'll stand by gossiping until the day that I die.

• 3:36Hannah Berner?

  As long as it's honest and pure.

• 3:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And truthful. And she is a fucking bitch. Like that's, that can be a fact. It's also really good for our brain because we hear something, we have to remember it. And then, you know, so really we're just, we're fighting dementia each day. What could've done?

• 3:53Hannah Berner?

  You're, when you live life, you're supposed to have something happen to you and then the fun of it is.

• 3:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Telling your friends.

• 3:58Hannah Berner?

  Your friends and reflecting on it and be like, what just happened to me? Am I insane?

• 4:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're storytellers. Sorry for entertaining. I feel like I can't go to a basketball game without spending at least one whole period of it being like, and then they make this into an ice skating rink. You know, like every time it blows my mind. I'm like, and then they can do concerts here too. Isn't that crazy? Like, I'll never get over it. I'm like, but where is the ice? Right now, where's the ice? Right now, is it melted? You know, like I'm always asking the questions.

• 4:33Hannah Berner?

  See, I don't want to know logistics. Like, I don't want to know how the sausage is made. I want it to be magical while it's named.

• 4:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it underneath the court? Where is it at this exact moment?

• 4:40Hannah Berner?

  Where are you hiding the hockey players? Where are they sleeping?

• 4:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Where's the Rangers team? Do they sleep here?

• 4:46Hannah Berner?

  Why are TVs so complicated?

• 4:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 4:48Hannah Berner?

  Why do you need seven remotes?

• 4:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't.

• 4:50Hannah Berner?

  To turn on a TV?

• 4:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't go to someone else's house and just turn the TV on.

• 4:53Hannah Berner?

  Is it not insane that if it's not your own TV, you don't know how to work it?

• 4:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you ever been to a boy's house when there's also like a rogue Xbox controller? They're like, "Use this." I'm like, "What?"

• 5:02Hannah Berner?

  Or they're like, "Oh my god."

• 5:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, "How do I use that?"

• 5:05Hannah Berner?

  If he uses an Xbox controller to turn on his TV, you will get chlamydia.

• 5:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, 100%.

• 5:11Hannah Berner?

  You will get chlamydia.

• 5:12Paige DeSorbo?

  He's texting multiple other girls.

• 5:15Hannah Berner?

  And he won't go down on you.

• 5:16Paige DeSorbo?

  If he says, "Here, just turn it on with the Xbox controller, grab your things and get out." Did you know that when alligators are killing you, they spin you around?

• 5:25Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 5:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 5:27Hannah Berner?

  Could've lived without knowing that.

• 5:28Paige DeSorbo?

  They bring you to the bottom of the water and they spin you around and that's how you die.

• 5:34Hannah Berner?

  Bite off my head like someone with fucking empathy.

• 5:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Go to therapy.

• 5:38Hannah Berner?

  The things alligators will do instead of going to therapy?

• 5:41Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, "Okay, guys, it's a bit dramatic. You have crazy teeth, just bite us." You don't have to do a whole performance art.

• 5:47Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm like Team Sharks.

• 5:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm like full.

• 5:51Hannah Berner?

  Justice for Sharks!

• 5:52Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, "Chomp and see ya." They're like, "I have things to do."

• 5:55Hannah Berner?

  Also, sometimes like they'll just bite you and they don't even care to kill you. They're just like, "Ooh, that didn't taste good."

• 6:00Paige DeSorbo?

  They also like can't see, so they're probably like, "Sorry, I didn't know."

• 6:03Hannah Berner?

  They're like, "Oh my god, I'm gluten free."

• 6:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine you get bit by a shark and it throws it up. It's just like, "Ew."

• 6:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Take your leg back, you vegan.

• 6:13Hannah Berner?

  It's like, "You didn't even enjoy my fucking flesh."

• 6:16Paige DeSorbo?

  What's your headphone of choice?

• 6:17Hannah Berner?

  So I collect Delta headphones, so I have like hundreds of Delta headphones.

• 6:22Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 6:23Hannah Berner?

  Like hundreds.

• 6:24Paige DeSorbo?

  When you get on a plane?

• 6:25Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 6:26Paige DeSorbo?

  You put the Delta headphones in your ears and you connect it to what?

• 6:29Hannah Berner?

  The TV. And if there's no TV, we're sleeping.

• 6:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No headphones then?

• 6:34Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 6:34Paige DeSorbo?

  There's technology now that like you never have to hear the sound of an airplane ever again. Like when I fall asleep, I'm not listening to anything.

• 6:42Hannah Berner?

  I need noise to quiet my own thoughts. I don't want to be sitting in silence. That's the scariest thing you've ever said to me.

• 6:49Paige DeSorbo?

  So you get on a plane most of the time?

• 6:52Hannah Berner?

  Raw dog.

• 6:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Raw.

• 6:53Hannah Berner?

  Raw dog. Wait for her, or he?

• 6:55Paige DeSorbo?

  To walk around and say, "Does anyone need headphones?"

• 6:57Hannah Berner?

  "Does anyone need headphones?" And I always go, "Yep." And then I say, "Thank you," because regardless, I like free shit. If it's, I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it. I will put, the amount of Delta headphones I have in my bag is crazy.

• 7:08Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a wild revelation.

• 7:10Hannah Berner?

  And then I love a fresh new pair you pull out.

• 7:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time she walks by and says, "Headphones, headphones," in my head, I always think, "Who the fuck is getting on the plane without headphones?"

• 7:23Hannah Berner?

  People are like, "I love throwing dinner parties. What is that life?" Like, that you, A, love to socialize. You're like, "You know what would make my life better? If I had to cook, decorate, invite people over, and then clean after? That's my nightmare."

• 7:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Having people over to my own home to socialize?

• 7:38Hannah Berner?

  It's dirty.

• 7:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Get out.

• 7:39Hannah Berner?

  It's get out.

• 7:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, what if I hit a moment where I was like, "Mmm, and I want everyone to leave right now."

• 7:44Hannah Berner?

  I watch HGTV right now. It's like a weird phase I'm going through, but I'm obsessed with it. And they'll be like, "What kind of house are you looking for?" And they're like, "We love to entertain." And I'm always like...

• 7:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Block party on the corner, like, all these kids running around the yard, parents talking.

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  Basically a child parade.

• 8:01Paige DeSorbo?

  You'd have to literally drug me, tie my hands behind my back, drag me to that fucking block party. A party on your street that you live on with all the other people that live on that street? No.

• 8:15Hannah Berner?

  I have to bring up the elephant in the room. I showed up with a tie. And I think I went a little too business formal, like 80s businessman, like, "Coffee's for closers."

• 8:26Hannah Berner?

  But I do have to say...

• 8:27Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I feel like you're giving news reporter, like, high school sports news reporter.

• 8:32Hannah Berner?

  High school assistant volunteer.

• 8:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, you know?

• 8:36Hannah Berner?

  Brandon is killing it today. I wish I had a son. I realize having a tie, I know how it feels like to be a man.

• 8:44Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like assertiveness?

• 8:45Hannah Berner?

  Well, it feels like I have a dick.

• 8:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 8:48Hannah Berner?

  Like, I feel like I was putting on my coat, and I'm like, "Oh, gotta put my tie in." And like, I don't want it to be flinging around. I have to keep it.

• 8:56Paige DeSorbo?

  And sorry, I have things to report to.

• 8:58Hannah Berner?

  I know how it feels like to wear a dick, because suddenly, everything I say...

• 9:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, you're all of a sudden over-explaining everything. You're like, Paige, I don't know if you know the word finance, but let me tell you about it.

• 9:10Hannah Berner?

  I just feel like an alpha man. And I'm like, are you really gonna talk to me while I have my fucking tie on like that? Do you not see my fucking tie?

• 9:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Respect the tie!

• 9:17Hannah Berner?

  And then you just wanna like flip it around, hit people with it. Dude, thank god I don't have a dick. People say that men are more logical than women, but they actually just lack empathy.

• 9:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Interesting.

• 9:28Hannah Berner?

  They are just literally not thinking about how other people are feeling as much as we are. So they're not logical, they're actually just psychopaths.

• 9:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I really wish you didn't say that last part because...

• 9:38Hannah Berner?

  Oh, cuz you are like that.

• 9:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like, I am like that. I just feel as a woman, I'm not as emotional as some, I think there's like a spectrum of everything.

• 9:48Hannah Berner?

  Can you cut to last episode when she was crying going, "I've been so emotional lately"?

• 9:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I was so emotional this weekend, like I was tearing up that people were being mean to JoJo.

• 9:59Hannah Berner?

  First of all-

• 10:00Paige DeSorbo?

  She just wants a damn!

• 10:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a question for you.

• 10:06Hannah Berner?

  I don't have AirPods, is that what you're asking?

• 10:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but-

• 10:09Hannah Berner?

  I don't know what's wrong with me, but like I don't trust them.

• 10:11Paige DeSorbo?

  In what capacity? Like you think the government's like in your brain?

• 10:14Hannah Berner?

  No, not at all. Do you know like wifi doesn't really work?

• 10:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:17Hannah Berner?

  Bluetooth like doesn't work a lot, so I'm like, I just don't believe it works.

• 10:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you're reasoning-

• 10:22Hannah Berner?

  No, I don't think it works. And I've never tried it, but I don't think it works. Do you ever feel like some, it's my connect to the wrong person? You'd be like, hello?

• 10:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Never. Not one time.

• 10:32Hannah Berner?

  Not one time has there been like a man just like, "Hey."

• 10:38Hannah Berner?

  You know when the radio station's a little off, it's just an alien, they're like, "Mouth greetings, Earthlings."

• 10:43Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, "Hey, I'm in 13C, if you wanna come back here."

• 10:47Hannah Berner?

  When the AirPods first came out, their PR wasn't good. It was like, people were dicks.

• 10:52Paige DeSorbo?

  AirPods came out 20 years ago.

• 10:54Hannah Berner?

  No, when they first came out and like guys were walking around with their AirPods and they were like yelling with their AirPods, everyone was like, "Okay, you're a fucking loser." Like, "Oh, you have AirPods? Like, what are you, selling stocks 24/7? Chill out."

• 11:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 11:04Hannah Berner?

  And I think I just never got past that. I was like, "I'm not a dick and I don't wear AirPods." And then like one day I looked around and everyone was wearing AirPods. I think I joked with one of my friends, I was like, "AirPods are for fucking dicks." And then like I'm still in the corner joking about it when everyone's like, no, we all use AirPods.

• 11:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I-

• 11:21Hannah Berner?

  I thought AirPods was gonna be like threads on Instagram.

• 11:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you thought they were gonna die down.

• 11:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I thought it was like a thing and then we were gonna be like, okay, we all lost it. And then, it's a tic tac, I'm going to lose it. Some Gen Z's are just shaving their butthole.

• 11:34Paige DeSorbo?

  For the first time?

• 11:35Hannah Berner?

  No, like, cuz they're just eating ass.

• 11:39Paige DeSorbo?

  That is one thing that I will never, I'm not reciprocating, don't ask me, I'm a lady. I, I, that's when I become a nun, I'm like, you want me to what?

• 11:51Hannah Berner?

  God forbid he delicately puts his tongue on your booty hole.

• 11:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, no, he can do it to me. I would never do it to a guy, ever, ever.

• 11:59Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, that tracks for you.

• 12:01Paige DeSorbo?

  That's like, I don't even wanna be down there.

• 12:03Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I'm a star. I'm the talent.

• 12:07Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, I think I give that off because I've never been asked.

• 12:11Hannah Berner?

  I've never had a guy try to like, really choke me.

• 12:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Interesting.

• 12:16Hannah Berner?

  Cuz I don't give off that energy.

• 12:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And you talk a lot.

• 12:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You would think they're like, I'm finally in here, shut the fuck up.

• 12:27Hannah Berner?

  The only time I shut up is when Butter falls asleep by my mouth.

• 12:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll be living my normal life and I'll think, oh my god, and some people do this, plus have a baby. You know? And I'm like, that's crazy. So like sometimes during the day, I'll be like, okay, would I have been able to get all of this done and have a baby?

• 12:46Hannah Berner?

  Well, yesterday, Ludacris came out. And naturally, every single millennial stood up. And it came to us like, out of nowhere. Like, I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, but I remembered every lyric to Ludacris.

• 12:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Hannah Berner?

  Verse in, yeah. And everyone's best, she'd be like, oh my god, my kids and my husband were so scared. And I was like, I scared Butter.

• 13:07Hannah Berner?

  I realize I don't suffer from jet lag.

• 13:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you're well traveled?

• 13:11Hannah Berner?

  Because I'm always tired.

• 13:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:12Hannah Berner?

  So I don't know if it's jet lag or tired, but I'm used to it. Like, I woke up exhausted.

• 13:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Exhausted.

• 13:16Hannah Berner?

  And that's called the morning.

• 13:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:18Hannah Berner?

  And then it was 4:00 PM and I was exhausted. I go, again, that's called the afternoon for me.

• 13:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Hannah Berner?

  It's called depression.

• 13:22Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think we have...

• 13:24Hannah Berner?

  Depression.

• 13:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like nutrient deficiency.

• 13:27Hannah Berner?

  I know, but what is that nutrient? We're not trying to find it. You know, people are like, well, have you cut gluten?

• 13:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 13:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm not strategically cutting out parts of my diet or a theory.

• 13:37Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're saying to me the few words "have you," just know it's not. Have you? Nope, haven't.

• 13:44Hannah Berner?

  Do you want to discuss your nails? Because I actually liked it until I saw...

• 13:49Paige DeSorbo?

  My face?

• 13:50Hannah Berner?

  It's giving chicken cutlet. And you're not gonna be able to see it.

• 13:53Paige DeSorbo?

  First of all, that's not what I was saying.

• 13:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Of all the qualms, that wasn't one of them.

• 14:00Hannah Berner?

  Asking for a French manicure is a loaded question.

• 14:04Paige DeSorbo?

  My thing is just like, if you're gonna freehand the white part,

• 14:09Paige DeSorbo?

  make sure you're better than me. Make sure you're better than me, honey. My other qualm was, she fucking cut me with a nail file. And I was like, fine, that happens, like, whatever.

• 14:20Hannah Berner?

  Assault.

• 14:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally, I was like, I've just been shot, I'm bleeding. I'm like, bleeding out. I'm like, it's a Sunday afternoon, I'm bleeding out.

• 14:27Hannah Berner?

  No, I once fully lost, like, a whole section of skin.

• 14:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:32Hannah Berner?

  And it was like gushing blood.

• 14:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And you have to be like, it's okay!

• 14:34Hannah Berner?

  No, I literally was like, actually, I felt so good thinking about it.

• 14:37Paige DeSorbo?

  She literally kept, she kept putting alcohol on it. I'm like, don't worry, it's not infected, it's just throbbing and the size of Utah.

• 14:46Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, I don't think you need to put salt on the open wound.

• 14:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You can literally see my pinky nail throbbing and red. I'm like, if you could stop touching it, that'd be great.

• 14:55Hannah Berner?

  She put gasoline on it and lights it on fire.

• 14:57Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, you don't need your pinky nail anymore.

• 14:59Hannah Berner?

  She just cuts off your pinky nail. She goes, perfect.

• 15:03Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, sorry, I just nicked it.

• 15:04Hannah Berner?

  Perfect. Top 15 most attractive hobbies for men to do.

• 15:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I would love to see this list.

• 15:11Hannah Berner?

  Because hobbies in general.

• 15:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Get a second job.

• 15:13Hannah Berner?

  Playing an instrument. Is there any...

• 15:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys lame.

• 15:17Hannah Berner?

  Is there any instrument that a guy plays that you'd be like, that's kind of hot?

• 15:20Paige DeSorbo?

  The recorder.

• 15:24Hannah Berner?

  Actually, the fingers would be kinda hot. I'm like, oh, he's fast.

• 15:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 15:27Hannah Berner?

  This, I can agree with. Cooking.

• 15:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Hannah Berner?

  But I don't want them to talk about that they do it. I just want them to do it. Woodworking? No.

• 15:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Let the Amish have one thing.

• 15:38Hannah Berner?

  And if you are a woodworker, you're a nepo baby.

• 15:41Paige DeSorbo?

  If you give me a birdhouse, I'll throw it in the dirt.

• 15:45Hannah Berner?

  Painting? No.

• 15:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Painting is for me and my iPad.

• 15:49Hannah Berner?

  Swimming? I like it, cuz it tires them out.

• 15:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm not mad at that.

• 15:53Hannah Berner?

  Go swim. Archery? What is this, medieval times?

• 15:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually not mad about it.

• 15:59Hannah Berner?

  Old money?

• 16:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It is giving a little bit of old money.

• 16:02Hannah Berner?

  You have to have like a lawn.

• 16:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's giving, like, quail hunting.

• 16:06Hannah Berner?

  Finally, traveling. That's not a hobby.

• 16:08Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not a hobby.

• 16:09Hannah Berner?

  That's not a hobby.

• 16:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Get jobs.

• 16:11Hannah Berner?

  Get a job, figure it out.

• 16:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I watch Salford. Whoever made this movie is sick. The people, sick.

• 16:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I can stomach a lot of things, like, I'm not kidding. Like, if it's sexual and it's deviant, I can sit through it. I can watch it. Like, I'm like, okay, yeah, big, big whoop. It's like, I thought it was gonna be like when people were like, Fifty Shades of Grey's so crazy. And then I watch it and I was like, that's a Tuesday. Chill the fuck out. Like, it's not that crazy.

• 16:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Salford is sick.

• 16:46Hannah Berner?

  I think it's my favorite movie of the year.

• 16:48Paige DeSorbo?

  You're sick.

• 16:49Hannah Berner?

  I'm sick, like, I'm not like crazy in the bedroom or anything, but like, I will enjoy cottage cheese. And that's like a different, that's like the kind of sickness I am. I feel like we're opposite.

• 16:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I know what you mean.

• 16:59Hannah Berner?

  We're like completely opposite.

• 17:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I know what you mean.

• 17:01Hannah Berner?

  Like, a man, if a man spits in my mouth, I'm calling the police.

• 17:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you're like, that's really bad.

• 17:07Hannah Berner?

  Insane, disgusting, like horrible. I told you, if a guy accidentally pulls my hair cuz we're turning it around, I'd be like, ow!

• 17:15Paige DeSorbo?

  But you'll eat Chipotle from the night before that hasn't been refrigerated. Like, and you'll be like, whatever, it'll make me stronger, you know? That's where we're opposite.

• 17:24Hannah Berner?

  I'll find a tuna fish sandwich on the ground and eat it. And guys walk, like, you have to pick a side of the leg that it's just like hanging on.

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I mean, have you literally ever Googled a picture of Jon Hamm? Yeah.

• 17:36Hannah Berner?

  I actually do it daily. Yeah, I do. It's my background. Wait, but like, I would feel so imbalanced. Like, not that my labia is perfectly symmetrical, but like...

• 17:48Paige DeSorbo?

  But I feel like men don't even have that, like... Like, I'll freak out if my sleeve of my arm is caught in my jacket. I'm like, I can't move! I'm on gumpay. You know, like, I feel like they don't notice that shit. They're like, oh, my dick is tucked into my sock accidentally. Like, shoot, you know, like, they don't know things.

• 18:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 18:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like winning the Super Bowl is, like, kind of an ick.

• 18:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, okay, don't be...

• 18:15Hannah Berner?

  The best.

• 18:18Paige DeSorbo?

  It's kind of gross.

• 18:20Hannah Berner?

  It's like, oh, you beat up all the other boys?

• 18:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, here's another thing. All football coaches have to look the same. Is that, like, a criteria? Because literally, they're showing the coach, and I was like, I thought he coached the Patriots.

• 18:33Hannah Berner?

  No, that was an AI football coach.

• 18:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Everything was giving AI last night.

• 18:37Hannah Berner?

  People are like, how could he yell at his old coach in his face?

• 18:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:42Hannah Berner?

  This is a man who, the testosterone levels are so high...

• 18:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Hannah Berner?

  That his brain cells are fully just zapped. And for a living, he gets pushed around and hit in the head. He's a human gladiator. The fact that he didn't beat the shit out of his coach is actually a miracle.

• 19:00Paige DeSorbo?

  If a woman shows an emotion at all, specifically while doing her craft, or like, whatever, it'd be like, this is why women don't run the country. I mean, you're so emotional. I mean, that's crazy. But he did it, and they were like, oh, he's just passionate about his sport.

• 19:18Hannah Berner?

  Also, imagine Taylor Swift singing "Viva Las Vegas" when she won Album of the Year. Everyone would be like,

• 19:24Hannah Berner?

  this is a medical emergency. Visiting hours are over. Bring her back to the ward.

• 19:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Austin Butler is somewhere being like, excuse me? Excuse me?

• 19:34Hannah Berner?

  People are joking that Taylor Swift is gonna, when they break up, write a song called "Viva Las Vegas." I found myself on Amish TikTok.

• 19:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm surprised the Amish don't do more Amish retreats.

• 19:44Hannah Berner?

  Imagine if the next brand trip...

• 19:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Giggly times, Amish, grab your bonnets, ladies. All the big influencers, like, rolling out dough.

• 19:53Hannah Berner?

  Hey, what's the coupon code for this dough? But I think they don't...

• 19:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Where'd you get that churn?

• 19:58Hannah Berner?

  You know what we need? The real

• 20:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Housewives.

• 20:01Hannah Berner?

  Housewives of Amish.

• 20:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I'll go to Pennsylvania right now.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  Where the fuck is it? I want to know the gossip too, like.

• 20:07Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, did you, did you try Becky's butter? It was so bad. Becky can't churn butter to save her fucking life.

• 20:15Hannah Berner?

  No, her churning technique is so, is so embarrassing. It's so chugi.

• 20:18Paige DeSorbo?

  She's been making those same cookies every year. Like, think of something else.

• 20:22Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, she's been doing braids for like so long.

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Forever. We're done with the braids, Becky.

• 20:29Hannah Berner?

  They're like, oh my god, did you hear which hymn Becky picked out today? Like, that's so last year.

• 20:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Becky like says she believes in God, but like.

• 20:37Hannah Berner?

  She likes top 40 hymns.

• 20:38Paige DeSorbo?

  She also like tried eyeliner the other day, so like, I don't know.

• 20:41Hannah Berner?

  No, literally.

• 20:43Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, are you?

• 20:43Hannah Berner?

  Amish people end formal education at the 8th grade.

• 20:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it. I'm going.

• 20:48Hannah Berner?

  So did you.

• 20:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:50Hannah Berner?

  Most successful people are unmarried women.

• 20:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, there's a legitimate statistic that when men and women get married.

• 20:57Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 20:58Paige DeSorbo?

  The men's life.

• 20:59Hannah Berner?

  The men get more successful.

• 21:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Their quality of life goes significantly up and ours goes significantly down. Like, and that's just science because, yeah, they are now moving into a home where like, everything's clean, everything's aesthetic, like, there's a refrigerator with like more than just ketchup. And so like their, their minds are blown. Where like we get in that situation and we're like, towels don't go over the door.

• 21:23Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, because I can't be fake, maybe it's like my form of feminism. I've decided that I'm gonna take on the male qualities of like, I don't cook. I put the towel on the door. I take my clothes.

• 21:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you put the towel on the door?

• 21:37Hannah Berner?

  I mean, it's lucky if it gets to the door. It's on the floor.

• 21:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 21:40Hannah Berner?

  I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing.

• 21:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:42Hannah Berner?

  And I leave it. I eat food and I, I leave it. It's like this, um, empowering thing that I do where it's like, it's not my job.

• 21:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 21:50Hannah Berner?

  Because guess what? Mom's working.

• 21:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You've never given me anxiety and that's why you're my best friend.

• 21:57Hannah Berner?

  We're anxious together.

• 21:58Paige DeSorbo?

  But we're in our own different anxious world.

• 22:00Hannah Berner?

  I'm not making you anxious, you're not making me anxious. And then like 10 minutes later, we'll be like.

• 22:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like if, in anything, you make me less anxious. That's why like I was so mad at you for the White House.

• 22:10Hannah Berner?

  You make me less anxious because you don't care.

• 22:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Exactly. And put it on my tombstone. I don't care.

• 22:17Hannah Berner?

  No, friends, I care too much. I'm like, you care more than I care about myself.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, why don't you just write me a life plan if you're gonna care this much, bitch? Like. Yeah, no, we don't care.

• 22:27Hannah Berner?

  I feel like men, after a breakup, will just go with the next girl because they don't want to process the emotions and they need a girl to make them feel good. Where when a girl's in a breakup, she's like, I'm getting new hair.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 22:37Hannah Berner?

  Whole new personality, new gym.

• 22:39Paige DeSorbo?

  New wardrobe.

• 22:40Hannah Berner?

  Going to an Ivy League school to get a new degree.

• 22:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Might even move.

• 22:43Hannah Berner?

  Might even move, like, and I really do believe you always level up after these traumas.

• 22:47Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent.

• 22:48Hannah Berner?

  That's why I'm so pro failing, like failing makes you so much stronger.

• 22:52Paige DeSorbo?

  One quick, easy way that I like to like see my progress in life is you go from who your first boyfriend ever was to then who was your next one and then like you just keep going.

• 23:03Hannah Berner?

  Your first boyfriend was your favorite, so what do we do?

• 23:05Paige DeSorbo?

  We were just kids.

• 23:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Every single one of my group chats has a person who runs. You know, the ones suspiciously cheerful about it, and I've come around, they're right. Running is freeing, it's cathartic, it surprises you with something good every time. It's your body reminding you, you can do more than you give it credit for.

• 23:25Hannah Berner?

  That's why I love the new Peloton TreadFlex. Peloton's the latest treadmill that makes the joy of running a lot more accessible. The new Peloton TreadFlex is movable and foldable, designed to fit your life, even if you don't think it can. Nobody has a home gym, everyone has a corner. Run, walk, or hike when you need to, and roll it away when you don't. It's perfect as the weather is starting to get colder.

• 23:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that you can roll it away when you're done with it and classes with expert instructors who also feel like your besties and programs at all levels that keep you moving. Call yourself a runner if you're just starting or race training from 5K all the way to a marathon. Peloton meets you where you are, so you move on your own terms. That's what running gives back. Let yourself run, explore the new Peloton TreadFlex at onepeloton.com. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different?

• 24:32Paige DeSorbo?

  And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve

• 25:14Paige DeSorbo?

  or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only. You know, I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy

• 25:58Paige DeSorbo?

  goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiatri gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiatri is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations,

• 26:39Paige DeSorbo?

  diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and... And more. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent evidence-based care. All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/giggly.

• 27:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Natalie, Nick Vile's wife.

• 27:24Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 27:25Paige DeSorbo?

  She said something and she was like, "Oh yeah," and then I flushed my tampon.

• 27:28Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:29Paige DeSorbo?

  And the girls were like, "What? Wait, yeah, I'm flushing the tampon. No one's ever told me. No."

• 27:36Hannah Berner?

  You've been exploding pipes nationwide.

• 27:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't know. I thought the signs at different restaurants and places, like, "Don't use feminine products," I was like, "Oh, they have bad plumbing." Like, I just thought they knew their plumbing was weaker.

• 27:49Hannah Berner?

  No, see, my mom terrified me, where she was like, "If you put this in the toilet, the whole house will implode."

• 27:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like no one ever told me.

• 27:57Hannah Berner?

  No, my mom was like, "Everyone will die."

• 28:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, I'm not worried about it for a fucking second. Literally, I've gone this long, nothing's happened. I've never heard of a toilet blowing up. I've never heard of them shutting down because feminine products. I think we're fine. I think it's something that the men gaslit us about. And they're like, "We don't want it near us."

• 28:14Hannah Berner?

  You know what I think it is? You know when you have your period, you go through like 100 rolls of toilet paper? I think it's the toilet paper business who's like, "Roll up the toilet and put it in the garbage."

• 28:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. Non-conventionally hot men, they're calling it rodent boyfriend summer.

• 28:28Hannah Berner?

  I'm just kind of sick of, like, when men are ugly, them getting rebranded into a trend.

• 28:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, I-

• 28:34Hannah Berner?

  Why can't we do that for girls? Why can't it be like, "Long torso, like, pinkle cuties?"

• 28:42Hannah Berner?

  Double chin divas.

• 28:44Paige DeSorbo?

  It's never greasy hair girl summer. It's never like slightly depressed, possibly anxiety.

• 28:52Hannah Berner?

  Sweaty, dehydrated girl sexy summer.

• 28:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Never.

• 28:55Hannah Berner?

  We grew up with like dad bods being cool, which is basically like, hey, all the lazy guys who drink too much beer are hot. The PR on the men's side is so good, which is crazy because PR I thought was a woman-run business.

• 29:07Paige DeSorbo?

  They're coming for hot girl summer. Like all of a sudden it's a hot rodent boyfriend summer. No, summer was our thing.

• 29:13Hannah Berner?

  But also I think we're in on it. We have internalized misogyny.

• 29:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, I literally had it this week.

• 29:19Hannah Berner?

  Last episode, we thought Dr. Pepper was a man. We assumed and we apologized.

• 29:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I blamed my period instead of blaming my boyfriend this week.

• 29:25Hannah Berner?

  But I think what the truth is, is that most women actually don't care what men look like. We just want them to be nice.

• 29:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I will be arrested at one of my children's schools. Like there is just no way my kids are gonna be born, go all the way through high school and I'm not gonna be like, Mr. Sorbo, you can't come to the field today. Like you're a problem.

• 29:45Hannah Berner?

  There's a restraining order.

• 29:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll fight a kid. Like I would have no problem kicking a six-year-old if they were mean to my daughter.

• 29:52Hannah Berner?

  In like first second grade, I started to be kind of naughty and then I'd get in trouble and it was all about getting to my mom before the teacher could get to my mom.

• 30:03Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember?

• 30:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's an extreme sport.

• 30:05Hannah Berner?

  I just started walking and I'm like, let's go mom, we gotta go, we gotta go home, we gotta go now, I got a lot of homework. And they'd be like, Ms. Berner? Ms. Berner, can I speak? And I'm like, fuck, motherfucker, don't believe anything that bitch says. She's crazy, don't believe it. And my mom's a teacher, so she always took the teacher's side.

• 30:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I had a Kim who was not a teacher. I cheated so bad. I cheated so fucking bad on a project.

• 30:27Hannah Berner?

  How old were you?

• 30:28Paige DeSorbo?

  High school. We had to make a brochure in Spanish. So you know what I did? I went on a hotel website in Spain and I printed out their brochure and I handed it to her and I said, here you go. She calls my mom, she's like, Paige obviously cheated. Like she couldn't have written this. And my mom goes, how do you know? Prove it.

• 30:47Hannah Berner?

  How do you know?

• 30:48Paige DeSorbo?

  She didn't write it. Prove it. Then later I said to my mom, I was like, I did cheat. She goes, I don't care. She's not gonna call me.

• 30:58Hannah Berner?

  You said the reason you decided to get a cat finally is because, do you want to tell them?

• 31:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like filling out all these fucking questionnaires that like Hannah's making me fill out. And I free, I'm starting to freak out like when I'm about to press send for the email. Cause I'm like, they're gonna email back immediately and like give me a cat. And then all of a sudden I'm locked into this fucking cat. And I was like, I can't do it. And then I had a thought and I was like, no, Hannah's literally my most incapable friend.

• 31:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And she's had a cat for eight years. Like I, I'm like, I've been to Hannah's apartment. I'm fine.

• 31:35Hannah Berner?

  Calling me incapable is so on the nose. I'm the kind of friend that like, you're nervous for an event, you call me. You're feeling down on yourself, you call me. If you're going to the airport and you forgot your passport, you're not calling me. You're not calling me.

• 31:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, in a pinch, you have to be somewhere in five minutes and like bring a document? No.

• 31:57Hannah Berner?

  I'll get the wrong thing. I don't know how to drive, but it's so true.

• 32:00Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a major thing. You don't know how to drive. That's huge.

• 32:05Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, if someone's like hide the body, I don't think you ask me. I think I have too big of a mouth. I also don't know how to hide a fucking body. I'll say to the admin of hiding a body.

• 32:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I would never ask you.

• 32:15Hannah Berner?

  I'd be like, wait, where should we dig? Like, I feel like.

• 32:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I would, I'd voice note you like.

• 32:20Hannah Berner?

  We have to cut it, ew.

• 32:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Whilst, because I'd be like, you'll never understand.

• 32:24Hannah Berner?

  You go, hey, can you help me hide the body? I go, I'm a voice rest.

• 32:28Hannah Berner?

  Before we get to your big news, which I'm edging.

• 32:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Is this embarrassing? But I just learned what that word means on TikTok.

• 32:34Hannah Berner?

  Edging?

• 32:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:35Hannah Berner?

  How'd you find out?

• 32:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I looked it up. I kept like getting TikToks and they were like saying the word edging. And I was like, what the fuck is that? I did not think.

• 32:41Hannah Berner?

  What is your definition of edging?

• 32:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't think, I didn't know it was sexual. Thought it was something to do with landscaping.

• 32:48Paige DeSorbo?

  That's hedging.

• 32:52Paige DeSorbo?

  And so I had to Google what edging was.

• 32:55Hannah Berner?

  What is your definition of it? As she takes a swig of water to ponder.

• 32:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Like you build yourself up and then right when you're about to come, you don't?

• 33:03Hannah Berner?

  But then I think you can also use edging in like, normal shit. Like, I think I edge a lot in stories. Like, it's like, get to the fucking point.

• 33:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay, yeah, like, you build up the momentum.

• 33:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, I'm edging your announcement.

• 33:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Got it, got it.

• 33:15Hannah Berner?

  I was trying to shut up and go on voice rest for like, two days.

• 33:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you've sent me more voice notes than you ever have in your entire life.

• 33:21Hannah Berner?

  Wait.

• 33:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Was that true? I thought you were just saying that as like, a bit. Were you legitimately trying to be on voice rest?

• 33:26Hannah Berner?

  No, it's my new thing. Just tell people you're on voice rest and you don't want to talk to them.

• 33:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I legit, I was like, oh, she must have something like, really intense.

• 33:33Hannah Berner?

  I told four people I was on voice rest.

• 33:35Paige DeSorbo?

  In context, this is how Hannah told me. Hey, do you want to come to my house this weekend? I promise I won't even talk to you. You can literally sleep in another room. I'm on voice rest anyway, so I won't even talk. I'm like, that would last seven seconds. Seven seconds.

• 33:50Hannah Berner?

  If you don't want to talk to someone, just say I'm on voice rest. Or if you want to really lean into the character, put it on your notes app and just raise it.

• 33:57Paige DeSorbo?

  But when they ask for what? What's your response? You're just like, not at this time?

• 34:02Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's easier for me because they know I'm a performer.

• 34:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so like, no, I mean, I believed you.

• 34:07Hannah Berner?

  Anyone could go on voice rest.

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I might start.

• 34:10Hannah Berner?

  Like, if you have meetings.

• 34:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine Grace just sent in, like, the newsletter one week and was like, sorry, I'm on voice rest.

• 34:17Hannah Berner?

  I can't write this essay because I'm on voice rest. No, singers get like, really serious about it. And, you know, I-

• 34:26Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, a lot of people say, like, the most narcissistic thing you can do is have a child.

• 34:30Hannah Berner?

  It is selfish to have a child because it's for you. It's not for them. They didn't choose this life.

• 34:34Paige DeSorbo?

  You want something that looks like you, acts like you, and like, is you, walking this earth? We have enough yous.

• 34:40Hannah Berner?

  I also realized that we are on the board of the childless cat ladies. Community.

• 34:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Hannah, we're there. We're the exact demographic he's speaking to.

• 34:51Hannah Berner?

  We're kind of the forefront of the marketing.

• 34:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, what are the-

• 34:54Hannah Berner?

  We didn't sign up for it, but here we are.

• 34:56Paige DeSorbo?

  What are the chances I got a cat like, four days before?

• 35:00Hannah Berner?

  I think you pissed him off.

• 35:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I immediately was like-

• 35:03Hannah Berner?

  He goes, "They're taking all our women."

• 35:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, as the president of single cat women, I will speak for all of us. How dare you?

• 35:14Hannah Berner?

  I thought we both act like we're single.

• 35:19Paige DeSorbo?

  But you're married, so it's like, it's like you don't have to talk about it.

• 35:24Hannah Berner?

  But truth, I don't have a boyfriend.

• 35:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you don't. You don't.

• 35:28Hannah Berner?

  Everyone lost their virginity half at first, right?

• 35:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Hannah Berner?

  I think if you go full on the beginning, you're not okay.

• 35:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You should call your mom.

• 35:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like every girl is like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Maybe next weekend. Like, I'm just like, I feel like it kind of hurts and like, maybe next weekend. I feel like I used to do that all the time.

• 35:51Hannah Berner?

  I still do that. I still do that.

• 35:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, actually, no.

• 35:55Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's fucked up because we're experiencing like, oh, whatever happens, I am losing something. Like, I'm losing this like innocent side of me. Where men are like gaining respect and experience.

• 36:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Gaining something.

• 36:07Hannah Berner?

  Like, Chris, after you lost your virginity, was there a moment where you were like?

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Where I went to all of my friends.

• 36:13Hannah Berner?

  I'm not a little boy anymore and I'm.

• 36:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a man.

• 36:16Hannah Berner?

  And I'm, and I'm just like lost being pure.

• 36:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like what is a guy's perspective?

• 36:21Speaker 03

  I went to all my friends and they were like, we were all like, yeah.

• 36:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I feel like I dated a lot of guys in New York City that couldn't fix things and I got the ick. I was like, if I can fix it and you can't, that's like grossing me out.

• 36:33Hannah Berner?

  The thing is, for me, like if a guy's too handy, I don't like it.

• 36:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Hmm, like you don't want them to have a tool belt.

• 36:39Hannah Berner?

  No, that turns me off. Like, if he knows too much about toilets, I'm like, what it?

• 36:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, get in it. Let me put your head in there.

• 36:49Hannah Berner?

  Can I come for something right now?

• 36:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:51Hannah Berner?

  No, I know I'm, I'm adult right now because I did search for a sconce. I don't know how to put a sconce up.

• 36:58Paige DeSorbo?

  You need an electrician.

• 36:59Hannah Berner?

  And that's where they lose me. Where do you get an electrician?

• 37:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Being handy is very important to me because I would put myself on the handier side of the spectrum.

• 37:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my drill bit? I definitely have a drill bit.

• 37:20Hannah Berner?

  Your what?

• 37:21Paige DeSorbo?

  A drill bit.

• 37:22Hannah Berner?

  What's a, oh, a drill bit? What is a drill bit?

• 37:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes you gotta drill things. You want that painting up? Yeah, I could fucking, I'll put that up on the wall. Like, I have a level, like, I have, I can do all of those things.

• 37:35Hannah Berner?

  You saw my place, I literally just have paintings against the wall where I want them to go up.

• 37:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I could come over and fix those.

• 37:41Hannah Berner?

  Men fixing things is important because they break a lot of things.

• 37:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:47Hannah Berner?

  No, but like, what else?

• 37:47Paige DeSorbo?

  They should know.

• 37:48Hannah Berner?

  What are they doing? Some people read books, which I'm very impressed by.

• 37:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so proud of them.

• 37:53Hannah Berner?

  But I was thinking, who's reading more? These people who read books? Or me putting captions on every TV show? Closed captions? Am I reading more? Does that count?

• 38:06Hannah Berner?

  No one talks about it, but bitch has been reading.

• 38:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so glad you're bringing this to the forefront, especially during this time in our nation.

• 38:18Paige DeSorbo?

  The country is divided right now into two very distinct groups. People that love subtitles. And then it's people that are so purely enraged by them. I identify as a subtitles person.

• 38:30Hannah Berner?

  Des said he did that in China when he was learning Mandarin.

• 38:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:33Hannah Berner?

  He put it, so you're like, learning English.

• 38:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm learning my first language, again.

• 38:36Hannah Berner?

  Because I actually think we miss a lot.

• 38:39Paige DeSorbo?

  So many shows.

• 38:40Hannah Berner?

  We, no, like, we are avid bookworms. This is actually the best question I've ever gotten. If we were both kidnapped together, who would they kill first? For sure, me.

• 38:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Hundred percent, Hannah, because she's vocal. She is, she's pointing out where they messed up, who's coming to get them. I've been paralyzed with fear.

• 39:03Hannah Berner?

  You're gonna fall asleep because it would be so stressful. And I also feel like I'd try to be a hero. Like, I'd be like, I got this, I'll, I know what to do.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you would.

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  And it would backfire.

• 39:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Please don't say that.

• 39:16Hannah Berner?

  If they were gonna keep one of us alive, it would be you, because I'm a, they'd be like, that one's sweating.

• 39:22Hannah Berner?

  This one's not sweating at all, and it's like 110 degrees.

• 39:25Paige DeSorbo?

  This one we could fold up.

• 39:28Hannah Berner?

  In this locker room. This one's not flexible. Her hair is very greasy. She's giving a stench.

• 39:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 39:35Hannah Berner?

  You'd pretty privilege your way, where they'd be like, we need that one.

• 39:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And be in love with them.

• 39:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 39:40Paige DeSorbo?

  And be like, what if we just dated?

• 39:44Hannah Berner?

  You'd flirt your way.

• 39:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I flirt my way out.

• 39:47Hannah Berner?

  He'd be looking at me and I'd be like, "I'm gonna kill you." And then you look and he'd be like, "Is Paige eye fucking me?"

• 39:51Paige DeSorbo?

  She's being so weird, isn't she?

• 39:53Hannah Berner?

  You would eye fuck him.

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I would try and pull out whatever I could.

• 39:58Hannah Berner?

  We went to Salem, Massachusetts, because we wanted to see where all the witches were killed.

• 40:02Paige DeSorbo?

  It was partly what we were expecting and then partly totally not what I was expecting.

• 40:09Hannah Berner?

  We went in so excited. We were like, we definitely were witches that were burnt the stake in a past life. Because if you weren't, you were a fucking loser.

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 40:15Hannah Berner?

  Paige goes, "Let's do past life regressions. This is gonna be fun."

• 40:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's clear the energy, clear the air.

• 40:20Hannah Berner?

  Were we best friends?

• 40:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  Was I a princess or a ballerina? I was like, I think I was an Amazonian woman. And she was like, "No."

• 40:28Paige DeSorbo?

  So we start with Hannah's and you tell.

• 40:31Hannah Berner?

  She was like, "Do you like bright colors?" And I was like, "I think so." And she's like, "Okay, I think every person you were in a past life was a man." And I was like, "No! Why?" I was like, "What kind of man?" And she goes, "A flamboyant, British, gay man who was very rich, just prancing around."

• 40:50Paige DeSorbo?

  She kept saying the word "dandy."

• 40:52Hannah Berner?

  Dandy!

• 40:52Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was just like, "What the fuck is that?"

• 40:54Hannah Berner?

  And he, his wife was miserable because he didn't love her.

• 40:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, because he was gay.

• 40:59Hannah Berner?

  And he was just like having anal all over England. And then I'm like, "Okay, do Paige. Just Paige, just do Paige."

• 41:05Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, "You're, you were so sad. All of your lives, you were very poor, just sad." And she was like, "But your saddest life is you had like so many children." And unfortunately, they all died. And I'm just like jaw on the floor. I'm just like, "Okay."

• 41:22Hannah Berner?

  Meanwhile, I'm being gay and she's like, "Your kids didn't even die of cholera." Like it was a sniffle. Like it was wiped them all out. And I'm still envisioning myself with the banjo. Like I'm loving life.

• 41:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Hannah's like has a top hat, is like prancing through the streets with a cane, kissing men in like alleyways.

• 41:38Hannah Berner?

  And she was like, "You love being a mom, Hannah. You love being a bottom."

• 41:46Hannah Berner?

  But then you're like, okay, let's move on. Did we know each other? Were we best friends in every life?

• 41:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe my gay bestie helped me through the drama and like gave me some money and like helped me out. And she was like, yes, oh my gosh, we did know each other. Hannah stole all your money.

• 42:05Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, so I have no kids, no prospects, I'm about to croak, and I'm homeless.

• 42:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm using your money for dildos. The rest of the day, like whenever we like made fun of Paige, she was like, my children died.

• 42:19Paige DeSorbo?

  My children perished.

• 42:21Hannah Berner?

  And then whenever you made fun of me, I was like, please don't be homophobic.

• 42:25Hannah Berner?

  Please keep your homophobia to yourself. We FaceTimed this weekend.

• 42:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Both of my noise.

• 42:32Hannah Berner?

  You know exactly what I'm gonna say.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  But like, we were fully in mid-conversation and you got up to go to the bathroom.

• 42:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I got up to plug my phone in.

• 42:42Hannah Berner?

  You're gonna plug your phone in and I lost ya.

• 42:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:44Hannah Berner?

  I lost ya and there was like two seconds where I waited to be like, is she coming back? And then I, I hung up and I said, and that's that.

• 42:54Hannah Berner?

  And true friends, once your FaceTime is disconnected, it's a month's over. You're not texting and being like, are you good? Are you alive? Are you? No, we're done. That's how the conversation ends. If that's how it ends, that's how it ends. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. Not even a goodbye.

• 43:12Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing I love more than getting inside of an SUV. I need to be high up. I need legroom.

• 43:19Hannah Berner?

  Luxury.

• 43:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And when I get into an SUV, I also want it to be an award-winning SUV.

• 43:24Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, I'm not, being in an SUV that never won an award before, that's crazy. Do I not love myself?

• 43:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly. And that's why Hyundai is a brand that we trust. Because not only have they won the award for America's Best SUV in 2026, but they've also won it five times in six years.

• 43:41Hannah Berner?

  And one thing about me, if I'm gonna be in an SUV, it needs to have consistency. And that is the result I'm looking for.

• 43:47Paige DeSorbo?

  The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. So if you are feeling like it's time for an SUV, this is the SUV you need because the Santa Fe hybrid is also fully capable and ready for adventure and also the Palisade hybrid. So you have multiple SUVs to pick from. Another thing I want to bring up about Hyundai, their interior. I also need a luxurious interior. That's where the Palisade does come in because they have premium capability and class leading interior space. And anytime someone says class leading interior, I'm in.

• 44:19Hannah Berner?

  Yep. Also, I love a hybrid. Gas, electric, either one, which you don't have to pick one.

• 44:26Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:08Paige DeSorbo?

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• 46:04Paige DeSorbo?

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• 46:46Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:26Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:45Hannah Berner?

  I was really late to shave my legs because someone told me like, once you start, you can't stop. You do it because you're hairy. So I was like, I'm not going to start. It's like people were like, you have the hairiest legs of everything.

• 47:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you remember like when you couldn't, like girls like weren't allowed to shave their thighs? I mean, you still abide by that rule.

• 48:05Hannah Berner?

  No one said you should start shaving your thighs. So when you start, you just shave, we just shave our shins because we're not that hairy on our thighs.

• 48:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I always thought that it was like moms didn't let girls do it because your thighs are like more sexual.

• 48:21Paige DeSorbo?

  To make it sensual to like

• 48:23Hannah Berner?

  So the hair can block the penis.

• 48:27Paige DeSorbo?

  But I was so hairy in like 3rd grade. My mom was like, shave it all.

• 48:31Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember the first time you heard your friend was wearing a thong? You were that friend? You were the friend?

• 48:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't remember that.

• 48:38Hannah Berner?

  I remember my friend being like, I'm wearing a thong. And me being like, like, I thought she was going to the strip club. How does a thong that has like multiple strings become sluttier?

• 48:49Hannah Berner?

  Like it has more fabric, but looks insane. Like, what are girls doing with that?

• 48:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:55Hannah Berner?

  Like, every time I meet a giggle, I'm like, you are gorgeous.

• 48:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, I can tell when they're like a little more page than Hannah. Like, this girl was actually page coded.

• 49:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so funny because when the Hannahs come up to me, that's the first thing they say to me. They're like, we get it. Like, we're not your vibe. And I'm like, I didn't even say anything. We're at a bodega. I don't even know what's going on right now.

• 49:15Hannah Berner?

  My favorite is when the gigglers come up to me with two of them. And one of them goes, she's my Hannah. And then there's some girl comes up like, hey.

• 49:25Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, me and you, girl.

• 49:26Paige DeSorbo?

  She like walks out from the bathroom.

• 49:31Hannah Berner?

  And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect. Whoever has a slicked back bun, I'm like, you're page. And they're wearing bows. Like, it's actually like

• 49:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you can spot them in a second.

• 49:40Hannah Berner?

  In a second. Grace wrote something funny. She wrote, how do you answer the phone?

• 49:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, if I know the person, I say hi.

• 49:46Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what moms love to do? They go, this is she. Does your mom do that?

• 49:53Hannah Berner?

  Moms fucking live for that shit.

• 49:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Why, when someone professional calls, moms are immediately on the cast of Bridgerton.

• 50:00Hannah Berner?

  This is she.

• 50:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I am Lady Dora Bell.

• 50:04Hannah Berner?

  Can I speak to Hannah? This is she.

• 50:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's do our customer service voice. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello?

• 50:14Paige DeSorbo?

  So here, boy.

• 50:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Who is that bitch? Who is that?

• 50:20Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, her name's Beverly.

• 50:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, mine's very much.

• 50:22Hannah Berner?

  Okay. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

• 50:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Hello?

• 50:26Hannah Berner?

  Why is it so high pitched?

• 50:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, mine's really high pitched.

• 50:29Hannah Berner?

  You act like you're nice. A phone call means I have to talk business with you. A FaceTime means something fucking insane happened. And a voice note means just keeping up.

• 50:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, just keeping up.

• 50:40Hannah Berner?

  This woman said that women are only physically attracted to 4% of men.

• 50:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Spot on.

• 50:48Hannah Berner?

  Cause you ever have those moments where you're like trying to figure out if you're gay or straight?

• 50:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I feel like I did have that moment in college when I was like started watching girl on girl porn and I got like really scared. I was like, wait, I'm going to have to tell my mom that I'm lesbian.

• 51:00Hannah Berner?

  All straight girls like girl on girl porn. I don't know if lesbians like girl on girl porn.

• 51:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I would assume they do. Cause they're doing it in real life, so I would assume that they're down with it. But like I get that we as straight girls, we watch it because we're like, they're safe. Everything's fine. They can't get pregnant if they don't want to be, like everything's good.

• 51:23Hannah Berner?

  They're braiding each other's hair like.

• 51:25Paige DeSorbo?

  They're gonna like take a nice nap after like.

• 51:28Hannah Berner?

  She keeps asking her like, are you hungry? Do you want a snack?

• 51:32Paige DeSorbo?

  So like I get that.

• 51:34Hannah Berner?

  I think it's because I'm not attracted to any man who would do porn. So once the man gets in, I'm like, I don't want to fuck him.

• 51:40Paige DeSorbo?

  And I always feel like you don't pick your porn, like you're attracted to what?

• 51:44Hannah Berner?

  Porn picks you.

• 51:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally, it does. I feel like porn picks you, like you don't pick what gets you off, you just see it and you're like, oh, and now I like that. Walking into anywhere, I think we should start saying, what's the energy I want to bring to this?

• 51:58Hannah Berner?

  To this function?

• 51:59Paige DeSorbo?

  To this function.

• 51:59Hannah Berner?

  Do I want to ruin everyone's day?

• 52:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because you should also plan, like people are like, okay, now be nice, but also sometimes plan to be mean.

• 52:07Hannah Berner?

  Normalize not always bringing good energy to the function. Some functions need a balance of bad energy. Well, let's discuss the energy brought to the function at my premiere party.

• 52:19Paige DeSorbo?

  That energy was wackadoodle.

• 52:22Hannah Berner?

  I'm not a big partier, you guys know that, but if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

• 52:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And my mistake for not realizing that you were doing it.

• 52:32Hannah Berner?

  So I see you, you look like a feral cat, scared, need to find a hiding spot.

• 52:37Paige DeSorbo?

  So scared.

• 52:37Hannah Berner?

  I look at you and I'm like, you're here, I'm so happy. People were like, where's the photos of Paige? I was like. There's one of you scurrying out.

• 52:46Hannah Berner?

  There's one of like a panic in your eye, like clearly being like, how do I get out of here? But this is true friendship. People are like, where's Paige? And I'm like, she came, we made eye contact, and she left.

• 52:56Paige DeSorbo?

  She had to go. Hannah and I got invited to the White House. Hannah and I got invited to the White House.

• 53:02Hannah Berner?

  I thought it was a bit.

• 53:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Bit.

• 53:04Hannah Berner?

  I thought we were, Ashton Kutcher was pranking us.

• 53:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was like, and you want to know what? I appreciate the recognition from the White House because they were like, look, we're in a pickle. We're in a real bind. Who can save the country? We should call the giggly squad, you know? Like, and I respect it.

• 53:20Hannah Berner?

  Who at the White House is a giggler?

• 53:22Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what I'm trying to think.

• 53:24Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 53:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I'm like, okay, there's a girl there who's just typing away. And she's like, hmm, what if I just added them to the list? I have bills to pass.

• 53:35Hannah Berner?

  I do. You're like, the poof is back. It's a woman's initiative.

• 53:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 53:40Hannah Berner?

  What are you going to initiate?

• 53:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Just like vibes.

• 53:43Hannah Berner?

  Vibes.

• 53:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Probably like, I think we should focus on vibes for 2025 and like, or 2024. Probably both.

• 53:49Hannah Berner?

  What year are we?

• 53:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry.

• 53:53Hannah Berner?

  Do you think in a past life, you were a president's wife?

• 53:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think in a past life, I was like part of parliament in some, like someone's wife in parliament. Like, I feel like I lived in Europe.

• 54:05Hannah Berner?

  Okay, yes.

• 54:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I didn't fuck with the Declaration of Independence.

• 54:07Hannah Berner?

  Maybe it was like royal, maybe like a prince.

• 54:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe.

• 54:11Hannah Berner?

  Maybe. Men are not natural born leaders.

• 54:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, we could go as far back as Adam and Eve. Okay, because Eve got the apple, gave it to Adam. Why didn't Adam get his ass up and look for his own apple? Military, all men, pretty much. They're taking orders from other men. They love taking orders. They love being told what to do.

• 54:35Hannah Berner?

  Because men are dogs, women are cats.

• 54:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And so it's so fact though.

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, if you're listening and you're still on the fence. Think about your mom.

• 54:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Now we really sound like a cult.

• 54:46Hannah Berner?

  Think about your.

• 54:46Paige DeSorbo?

  You're on the fence of believing us or not.

• 54:49Hannah Berner?

  If you still don't want to buy our Tupperware.

• 54:51Paige DeSorbo?

  For $19.99, we're gonna slash that price right now.

• 54:56Hannah Berner?

  Think about your mom and dad, and someone has a key to the nuclear

• 55:03Paige DeSorbo?

  The co.

• 55:03Hannah Berner?

  weapon. Who are you giving that key to?

• 55:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, God. My mom. First of all, my dad's losing it. Okay, the man doesn't even have an email address. They wouldn't even be able to give it to him.

• 55:14Hannah Berner?

  Why do, whenever you go anywhere with your parents, your mom has a whole duffel bag

• 55:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 55:18Hannah Berner?

  for what everyone needs.

• 55:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Incidental.

• 55:20Hannah Berner?

  Your dad doesn't even have a wallet.

• 55:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 55:22Hannah Berner?

  He has a clip.

• 55:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 55:23Hannah Berner?

  He's running the world with a clip? I don't think so.

• 55:25Paige DeSorbo?

  My dad has a rubber band.

• 55:27Hannah Berner?

  Our nation is being held on by a rubber band.

• 55:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally, a thread. You humbled me so badly this week that I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I was like complaining about an array of things in a voice note, and I said to Hannah, like, whatever, I'm just like really anxious and emotional. It's probably because I just got my period. And Hannah listed everything that was wrong in my life. I mean, there were like 10 things, and she just went down a list. And she goes, no, but it's definitely your period, for sure. And I was like, you know what? I have to apologize to all women, but the men made me think that. Hannah was like, maybe it's because you're on one of the most insane reality shows. Your boyfriend's in a public feud. You don't leave your apartment. You have debilitating anxiety, but yeah.

• 56:15Hannah Berner?

  Grace broke her jaw.

• 56:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace literally chucked herself down the stairs.

• 56:18Hannah Berner?

  Blame your poor period, who's just like

• 56:20Paige DeSorbo?

  But for sure.

• 56:20Hannah Berner?

  a woman in the arts trying to like exist happily.

• 56:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally haven't been here for a year and you're already complaining.

• 56:26Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, also, what was the excuse? But when you couldn't get your period for the last two years.

• 56:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 56:31Hannah Berner?

  But the second she comes back, we bring it up. But you know what? That's part of girlhood. Is that whatever happens, you go, but I don't know, it's because I'm on my period. Even if you're not on your period.

• 56:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally.

• 56:39Hannah Berner?

  Because my period.

• 56:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally.

• 56:40Hannah Berner?

  My period was either two weeks ago, a week after, I don't care, it had happened.

• 56:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Girls really get one week where they can like know what their personality truly is. And that's like, it's really, it's hard.

• 56:52Hannah Berner?

  Think about it. But we're also normalizing that men are hormonal. That's hormones.

• 56:58Paige DeSorbo?

  What a way to piss them off.

• 56:59Hannah Berner?

  When a guy punches a wall after, like, he's The sauce runs out of control.

• 57:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 57:03Hannah Berner?

  Imbalance.

• 57:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Talk about a way to really piss off your boyfriend. Like if he does something and like with a straight face, you're just like, are you hormonal?

• 57:10Hannah Berner?

  I also love when men get emotional. They act like, oh, sorry, I was emotional. Everything I said didn't count. But when girls are emotional, they're crazy.

• 57:21Paige DeSorbo?

  There's just so much wrong.

• 57:22Hannah Berner?

  That was layered.

• 57:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's not the week to mess with me. The TikTok dance documentary.

• 57:27Hannah Berner?

  I think because I'm like kind of adjacent to the cult community.

• 57:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 57:30Hannah Berner?

  So it comes up on my algae. Ew. I just got the ick on myself.

• 57:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Dancing's a cult.

• 57:39Hannah Berner?

  First of all, dancing's a cult. You know, all those videos where everyone's in a circle and someone's dancing? That's a cult.

• 57:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 57:44Hannah Berner?

  All we can do is help people who are thinking of joining dance right now. Say maybe don't. Maybe just stick to getting a little drunk on Saturday and shaking your ass and then call it a day. Let's dance. If you say I want to dance tonight, it means you want to do drugs. But cults are real and I have empathy for people in cults because I want to belong to something. I want to put all my faith in something else and just like have hope and listen to someone. This guy in particular created Shaqina, which for some reason sounds like vagina to me.

• 58:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:13Hannah Berner?

  And they kept saying Shaqina. I'm like, is it Shaqina? I feel like it's not Shaqina.

• 58:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, throughout the entire documentary, I still don't know what they meant when they were referring to that.

• 58:20Hannah Berner?

  That's the name of his church. So people can just like make a church and like call it something. So if you're not sure if you're in a cult, if they're telling you.

• 58:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't call your mom?

• 58:29Hannah Berner?

  Every single.

• 58:29Paige DeSorbo?

  You're in a cult.

• 58:30Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, if your mom can't send you a meme. I know. You're in a cult.

• 58:34Paige DeSorbo?

  If your mom can't DM you a meme, you're in a cult. I'm going to say something and it might be like a little controversial. I just don't feel like anyone who is Italian has ever been in a cult.

• 58:48Hannah Berner?

  Because of our moms.

• 58:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Because there's no way I'm calling my mom and being like, sorry, I can't come home. She'd be like, oh, really? Okay. You know, like when you're in college and you have like a hungover next day and everything's funny?

• 58:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 59:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And you're just like, oh, like I never want to leave this place. Like this is the best day of my life. Like we're all in our jammies, eating food and like everything's hilarious. No one cares about you. That is giggly squad. It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick. You're just silly.

• 59:17Hannah Berner?

  But you're a little sick and mad, but we're thinking it's cute.

• 59:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh.

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