How to Get Your Music to Resonate With People

In this episode of The GaryVee Audio Experience, I replay the most viral moment of the AskGaryVee show — my call with Taylor from Buffalo — and then sit down with her a year later to see where she's at. I talk about macro patience and micro speed, why chasing millionaire-by-25 destroys your self-esteem at 31, and why I'm romantic about the process of trying to buy the Jets more than actually buying them. I also discuss how to build a community-first business, what to give your audience when you don't yet have expertise, and why you can trick losers but never winners. You'll learn about: • Macro Patience and Micro Speed • Why Comparison Is Crippling • Loving the Process Over the End Goal • Building a Community-First Business • Documenting When You Don't Have Expertise

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. It's hard. It's hard. I know you know what to do. It's hard. It's like, close your eyes for four years. Nothing good is gonna happen for four years. So I just got out of a meeting. How was it going?

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Good. How are you?

• 0:15Speaker 00

  Really well. I didn't even know that Taylor was coming in today. And it took me a second, you probably can see it. I'm like, holy shit. So this is super exciting for me even. What you're about to watch is a follow-up meeting to No Question. Go, go, go, go! The most viral moment of the Ask Gary Vee Show. Here's the full Ask Gary Vee moment. With the follow-up interview that I just did, or the catch-up that I just did. I genuinely believe, in my heart and soul, that for everybody 22 to... That 98% of people that are 22 to 30 are about to get a piece of content that is fundamentally gonna change your life.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  So I'm not sure if you remember, about a year ago, I actually called in... Well, I got called in to the Ask Gary Vee Show. So I talked to you about a year ago. I'm from Buffalo, New York.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  I remember.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 1:09Speaker 00

  Hey Taylor, it's Gary Vee. You're on the Ask Gary Vee Show.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  No way!

• 1:14Speaker 00

  Yes way!

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:17Speaker 00

  Where are you from?

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Wee! I'm from Buffalo, New York.

• 1:20Speaker 00

  I love... Are you a Bills fan?

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Ah, unfortunately, yes.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Alright, I know you said unfortunately.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Well, not very good.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  I know. Well, listen, neither are the Jets, don't worry. So, what's going on?

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Um, not really much. I basically was dying to ask you a question. Um, currently graduated college last May, and I'm trying to build my own business, brand, hustle, all of that kinda stuff.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  You sound horrible.

• 1:49Speaker 03

  Oh, I feel worse. This flu is not playing around. Dad, you promised you'd be in my band. And it's showtime! Then it's dayquil intense flu time!

• 1:59Speaker 04

  For relief of your flu symptoms, try Dayquil Intense Flu. Hit it! Yeah! Dayquil Intense Flu. The fast-acting daytime coughing, aching, aching, aching fever power through your flu medicine. Use is directed, keep out of reach of children.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  And my question for you is, and I'm probably sure that a lot of people ask this, or are wondering the same thing.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  It's okay.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  How do you get over the stump of you're graduating and you feel all this pressure because you're trying to build something, but you're still so young, but you want to do this fast and grow it big? And I'm just in a rut and I can't get out of it, but I have a hustle and a drive that I know I'll be able to build something, but I'm just in this space that's not allowing me to.

• 2:46Speaker 00

  So let me help you. The space you're in is probably the macro-micro issue. So it's macro patience, micro speed, right? So what do I mean by that? You need to be patient as fuck, Taylor. You're 22, 23 years old. Like, what do you think's gonna happen overnight?

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 3:09Speaker 00

  So you need to be fast, 7:00 AM to 2:00 in the morning every day, but in the big picture, you need to realize nothing good is gonna happen for the next six years.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Okay. And do you think that I should just try every good idea that I think I have and just go for it all out? Or do you think I should stick with one thing at a time?

• 3:31Speaker 00

  Uh, I think the fact that you've even asked that question, that you should taste flirting with a lot of different things, because you'll be crippled by the what-if if you don't. Even though that's not the perfect formula to build the biggest short-term wealth, because you should go triple down on one thing instead of being half-pregnant on nine.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:51Speaker 00

  Taylor, let me tell you something.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  Like, let me ask you, the pressure, who are you, like, are you trying to prove to yourself, to your siblings, to your parents, to the world? Like, who are you trying to prove that you're successful to? Or that this was the right call, or you're gonna make it? Like, that's what you have to figure out.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Hmm, that's a good question.

• 4:11Speaker 00

  Like, what are you impatient for? Like, what's the problem? You wanna buy a fucking Rolex? Like, what's the rush?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  I feel like I've known that I'm meant to do something big.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  Me too.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  And I grew up in an entrepreneurial household.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  Me too.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  And so it's in my blood, it's in my bones.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Good.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  And I feel like I watched all these other millennials hitting these huge, I guess, milestones in their life.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  What milestones?

• 4:38Speaker 01

  And then I'm just sitting here.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Let's break it down. How old are you?

• 4:42Speaker 01

  I'm 22, about to be 23.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  Okay, what milestone? Please give me a millennial and the milestone they achieved that makes you feel like you're just sitting in fucking Buffalo.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Well, I'm sitting in Buffalo, which is one thing I'm not happy about, but...

• 4:57Speaker 00

  That's right, cuz it's home of the Buffalo Bills, piece of shit team. But, but, but, but, before you go there, forget about sitting in Buffalo. Who's the millennial and what's the milestone that's making you feel like you're sitting there? Go. The truth, go.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Um, well, honestly, there's people on social media, which definitely is not always true.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Who?

• 5:16Speaker 01

  But I watched... Oh god, I guess the only thing on the spot I can think of is a Cardiacean or a Jenner, which is lame, but...

• 5:27Speaker 00

  Can we talk about this, please?

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel like, sure.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Like, you're telling me that Kylie Jenner's fucking trillion followers on Instagram makes you feel like you're just sitting there?

• 5:40Speaker 01

  No, I feel like the fact that she's already got a business started that's super successful.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  Did you fact...

• 5:46Speaker 01

  I obviously know that comes with her fame.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Did you factor in the fact that her sisters and mom architected something for 10 years while she was a teenager? That she was able to walk directly into, that gave her a springboard? And that she had the financial capabilities of deploying ungodly amounts of, you know, plastic surgery? And the, and all the other variable things that she's been able to do to create that culture and that financial benefit?

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  Did you factor in that her mom is a ninja architect of business and created that framework?

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I feel like not many people give them the credit for that. I totally think that they built this empire.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  I agree, but what the fuck does that have to do with you?

• 6:29Speaker 01

  It has nothing to do with me, I know.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  No shit. Remember how I, I don't know if you saw this, where I said, "Stop looking at your friend's shit," or whatever the fuck I put on Instagram?

• 6:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  I don't know if you saw it or not, but it doesn't matter. What the... like, you looking at the Kardashians is the most ludicrous horseshit I've ever heard in my life.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Well, that's just the person that can pop into my head when you ask me.

• 6:51Speaker 00

  Great, give me another... Listen, we're here, we're here. Give me another one.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Um, there's a guy in London. I can't think of his name at the top of my head.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  I'm gonna stop you right now.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Let me give you some... I was gonna say fatherly, I guess my father was 40, no. I'll give you some massively older brother/uncle advice. You ready?

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Okay, yes.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Every second you spend thinking about what somebody else has is taking away from time that you could create something for yourself.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  You're losing. You're losing because you're laying in your bed looking at somebody's fucking glamorous photoshopped picture of them doing something cool, and you're envious, and you're jealous, and you're impatient, and it's crippling your upside.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, because that's where I want to be, and I know I'm not there yet.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  You haven't done shit!

• 7:40Speaker 01

  I know.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  So go do shit that actually gets you there, so that you earn it, instead of like you dwelling that you're not there and hoping something's gonna happen. I don't know what's going through your mind.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I guess I'm hustling on the side, but I don't think I'm doing enough, I guess.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  You definitely aren't doing enough if you have enough time to fucking consume the content of a Kardashian and some boy in London.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  Taylor, listen to me. Taylor, listen. You've gotta deploy patience, and you've gotta love the process. I'm addicted to the process of the battle scars, the setbacks, the lack of, you know... Taylor, I gave up my entire twenties, all of them. Imagine not doing anything fun, or going anywhere for the next eight years, including Saturday and Sunday. That's what I did from 22 to 30. Every day, I spent 15 hours a day in a liquor store, thought about a liquor store, built a liquor store, sold wine, like, spent every day. Like, this last weekend, don't lie to me, Taylor, what did you do this last weekend? What did you do fucking Friday, Saturday, and Sunday? Tell me the truth, don't bullshit me.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, no bullshit. I'm helping my mom right now on digital media and branding for her company.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Love you.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  And so I had a marketing meeting with one of the people doing that.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  Love you.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  And then I also...

• 8:55Speaker 00

  How much time did you have for yourself on Saturday and Sunday that was not working every minute? Tell me the truth.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  A lot, a lot.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  I know. So that's the punchline, right? Now imagine this, when I tell you this. You spent more downtime on not your career this weekend than I did in my entire twenties combined.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Oh shit, okay.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  That puts things in a perspective.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Awesome.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  I think so too.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I need to just get to it.

• 9:33Speaker 00

  Taylor, you need to do me a huge favor. If you really want to win and you want to come to New York in eight years and shake my hand, here's what you need to do. You need to stop giving a shit about what anybody else has and realize that if you put your head down and just work for the next 10 years, no glamour, no new fucking car, suitcase, jewelry, trip, event, no Coachella, no fucking new fucking sneakers, like fucking work, you will have it. And every time you care about one of the things I just mentioned, it will slow down your process of having it.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Okay, so in less than eight years, when I'm a millionaire by 25, I'll come shake your hand.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  I promise you that statement itself made me 100% guarantee that you won't.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Nooo.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Yes, yes. That's how this works. Being a millionaire at 25, when you're 22 and you're at dick shit and haven't even started, is inconceivable unless you fucking hit the Lotto.

• 10:30Speaker 00

  What's the romance?

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  What's the romance? I want to make... You know how everybody says Gary Vee, "When are you gonna buy the Jets?" "In two years?" And then I reply, "20 years." I'm romantic about the journey and the process, which is why I'm actually gonna pull it off. You're trying to be a millionaire by 25. How, Taylor?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  It's just a goal I've always had.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  Why?

• 10:49Speaker 01

  And right now with what I'm doing, I guess it's not.

• 10:52Speaker 00

  That's right. It's an arbitrary bullshit thing that means nothing.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  Wouldn't you rather guarantee millionaireship by 36 than by doing long-term marathon running versus doing a bunch of bullshit sprints that guarantees never having it? And I promise you, a funny thing happens to your self-esteem when you're 31 and not a millionaire because you've been chasing fast fucking cash and you're now six years removed from not hitting your goal, your self-esteem starts fucking with your head.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  Listen carefully. I wanna buy the New York Jets, but when I clarify it to everybody, I want the process of trying to buy the New York Jets more than buying the New York Jets. Understand?

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:39Speaker 00

  Hey everybody, I hope you're enjoying the podcast right now. Make sure you follow the podcast. That's why I'm interrupting. Let's keep going on this show, but follow the podcast. It'll make my mom super happy.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Because ultimately, that's the end goal, but there's a process behind that.

• 11:54Speaker 00

  You have to understand, I don't give a fuck about the end goal. I care about the process, the enjoyment of doing it. You're not enjoying yourself trying to get to a million bucks over the next three years.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 12:09Speaker 00

  Oh, I know I'm right. I'm just sticking on this right now because I feel like we've gone into this deep enough that I might as well hold on for a couple more minutes to see if I can actually pull you through, instead of you just being on this high of practicality for 36 hours and then going back to Instagram bullshit in 48 hours.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  I need to deactivate that shit.

• 12:30Speaker 00

  No, you need to learn to discipline to be able to put it in the proper bucket.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. I just feel like I hold myself at this pedestal and it's crippling myself because I'm not actually doing the things to get there.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Of course. So you're playing a fake narrative instead of putting in the actual work that's needed to actually pull it off. Wishing instead of executing.

• 12:53Speaker 00

  And then what's happening is you're living a fake world to yourself, but you know it, which then changes your behavior in the way that you interact with others.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  I know. Like, for all my bravado now, I was real quiet in my twenties. People made fun of me, like, "You work in your dad's liquor store? I'm in Wall Street making a hundred thousand, I got a BMW." I'm like, "That's nice, Pat."

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  Do you understand the level of disrespect I have for Pat? Do you understand the level of disrespect I have for all those twenty, thirty, forty, fifty-year-olds flashing shit on fucking Instagram with short-term moves? I can't wait for the fucking world to melt. I can't wait for all these bullshit people to get fucking hosed out when the economy gets shit.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's because they're short-term affording these things that are flashy, but in the long-term, it's not sustainable for what they're doing right now.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, but meanwhile, you're admiring the fuck out of them.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  I know, it's a problem.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  No shit, Taylor.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  It's really bad.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  Taylor, you need to start fucking loving the process and the work and the grind. You need to start respecting people that are, like, sleeping with four roommates and buying their t-shirts at Walmart.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what, I feel like I need that wake-up, but I feel like I need to hit rock bottom to have that wake-up. I'm too comfortable right now, and it's annoying the shit out of me.

• 14:11Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't think so. I think you're saying you need to hit rock bottom because it buys you more time to bullshit like you are right now.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  I never thought of that.

• 14:23Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Like, you know it's not working, you're just saying, "By the way, let me go complete left-field on you. You're a twenty-two-year-old girl, woman. Like, it's okay to enjoy a little bit now, too. You've heard me say regrets. If you, I don't know how deep you know my concept, but once in a blue moon, when people ask me the advice for twenty-five-year-old Gary, the answer is, "Go have fun, asshole." It would've been okay to go to Vegas, or Acapulco, or like, do some dumb shit. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, so, so...

• 14:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I've had my fun in college, though, and now I feel like it's time to work.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  Well, you're, no, no. That's the bullshit PR version, Taylor. The reality, Taylor, is still fucking in that zone.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  Don't beat yourself up, don't hold yourself accountable to arbitrary bullshit fantasies. Just put in work and enjoy that. Enjoy eating shit, and dirt, and bleeding, and the grind, and don't give a fuck about what anybody else thinks, why you haven't done it, why are you doing that. Have four jobs: fucking Wendy's, Walmart, your side hustle. Work. Train. Learn. Don't think you're a digital expert just because you're 22 and you have an Instagram account. Show me how much fucking shit you've sold with your digital social media skills.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  Do you understand?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  No, I do, yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  You're just, you're just, you're just completely in the wrong game, and I'm holding you on to this because you and 99% of the people that are watching are playing the same game.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  I know, which is why I wanted to ask the question.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  But you're look-

• 15:55Speaker 01

  I'm obviously not the only one.

• 15:56Speaker 00

  No, you're the majority, and, and the massive majority. The question is, you just need to be stu- you just need to understand the following. You can trick losers. You're not tricking me.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Good, because I want honest answers.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  You don't need my honest answer. You know you're not tricking yourself either. None of us are tricking ourselves. I just want to remind you that you might be able to trick your Uncle Hal, and you might be able to trick your girlfriend that was in your fucking college with you, but you're not tricking a winner when you're bullshitting. Got it?

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 16:28Speaker 00

  So, even if you're posturing and pandering and PR-ing yourself, no winner thinks you're winning.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I'm not.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  I know.

• 16:43Speaker 00

  Work. That's the answer to all these questions.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 16:48Speaker 00

  Learn things, do stuff, try to sell shit, learn how to make money. Work.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Alright. I will.

• 16:55Speaker 00

  Was this good?

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Awesome. Thank you so much.

• 16:58Speaker 00

  Can you do me a huge favor?

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  Can you email me in 30 days and don't bullshit me? What's your Twitter handle? Or Instagram? What's your Instagram handle? That's fine.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Instagram is @TheFabulousJourney.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  @TheFabulousJourney.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Me and my whole team and the entire VaynerNation is watching.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  Oh shit, okay.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  I'm gonna suck- I'm gonna smoke you out of your bullshit.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  Everybody's watching.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Okay, I got it.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  Do you understand?

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:33Speaker 00

  I like your blue dress.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Thank you, I got it on sale.

• 17:39Speaker 00

  I like that answer. That's the best thing you said all fucking... That's the best thing you said this whole time. Listen. Slow and steady wins the race. You're only competing with yourself.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:52Speaker 00

  Got it?

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  Nobody else defines you. Not me, not everybody watching, not your mom, not the fucking Kardashians, you.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 18:02Speaker 00

  You can grind and be patient for 10 years, every day, and still be nine years younger than me and I would trade places with you. That's how amazing having time on your side is.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, time's everything.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  So use it.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  I will.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  Good. See ya.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  You're welcome.

• 18:24Speaker 05

  I'm super excited to be here. You actually kind of changed a lot for me. Oh shit.

• 18:33Speaker 05

  It's a little crazy. A little crazy.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Tell me. I mean, it was such a viral moment.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  That and it was kind of like a light switch for me. Um, I used to be, you know, really gung ho, super energetic, always working, corrupting my family business, all that kind of stuff, and then... I don't know what happened after graduation. It kind of just went...

• 18:55Speaker 00

  It's what happens to a lot of people.

• 18:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  It's the trick, it's why I'm so passionate about doing what I'm doing right now for all of you characters. Cause I genuinely believe 22 to 28, 22 to 30 is tricky times.

• 19:09Speaker 05

  Yeah. I think the biggest thing that's happened in the last year since having the conversation with Gary is complete mental shifting to like self-awareness and I mean, he says patience, but really like be patient, um, has been the biggest thing for me. We're all so in our head. It's... Crippling?

• 19:36Speaker 00

  And what's really tough for me is that most of it is other people's voices manifested into your head. It sounds like your voice, but it's not.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. So, having that call with you kinda was like a light switch. Um, woke me up. I...

• 19:50Speaker 00

  Did it wake you up from the call itself, or all the collateral that happened after? Cause there was a lot that happened there.

• 19:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, both.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Like, the amount of like smiling faces right now, on the other side of however D-Rock is gonna edit this? It's like, you know, there's a lot of the... I mean, you were probably one of the most known characters, you know?

• 20:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, um, it's actually really funny, cause I got flooded-

• 20:12Speaker 00

  I remember.

• 20:12Speaker 05

  With DMs of people saying, "We're watching," and the eyeball emojis, which was super intimidating.

• 20:18Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 20:19Speaker 05

  Um, so, hearing it from you-

• 20:21Speaker 00

  That was the point.

• 20:22Speaker 05

  I got flooded up with adrenaline-

• 20:24Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  And then having that as the aftermath was like-

• 20:27Speaker 00

  Well, that was the point, to create accountability after the fact. That's why I went there.

• 20:31Speaker 05

  It worked. Um, so I ended up starting, uh, my own online business. Um, and I've slowly been trying to make something of it. And I had a real clear vision of what I want it to be. But when it comes to like process and steps and like, okay, what's the next step? Like, what are those steps?

• 20:51Speaker 00

  That's not clear yet.

• 20:53Speaker 05

  No idea.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  Makes sense. I mean, look, until you're in that mode to be an operator, like, running a business sounds great in theory.

• 21:01Speaker 05

  It's not.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  It's no different than anything else. Like, in theory, it sounds great to be a chef. Or, you know, like, if there's just such a misnomer, this is back to like, my big thing with 22 to 30.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  Everyone's like, "I'm gonna start a business." Cool, but nobody says, "I'm gonna be an NBA player cold at 22."

• 21:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:20Speaker 00

  But it's the same thing, like, being successful in business is hard.

• 21:23Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  Okay, so keep going.

• 21:24Speaker 05

  That was, um, really cool, cause what I started last March with that is not what it is today.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 21:33Speaker 05

  Which is really cool, just to watch, you know, that-

• 21:35Speaker 00

  The progression.

• 21:36Speaker 05

  Um, and what I have now are ideas, and I'm starting to try to create like a campaign type of video. I wanna create some sort of video that I could start to market. Facebook ads is not what I know, so I know people. Um, so that's kinda where I'm going with that question.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 21:55Speaker 05

  The question that I had, though, um, I had a couple. But, most specifically is-

• 22:01Speaker 05

  How do you find that person to help you grow the business? Because I'm a very much, I know why I want to do it, I know the type of people I want, I know...

• 22:09Speaker 00

  What are you selling?

• 22:10Speaker 05

  So, it started as an apparel company, but I actually want it to be a community first. So I want to build a community that totally encompasses people who are like me. People who want to be entrepreneurs, or they want to be creatives.

• 22:25Speaker 00

  Where is the community gonna live?

• 22:27Speaker 05

  Global.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Physically, where is it gonna live?

• 22:30Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 22:31Speaker 00

  Are you, is the community gonna live in the comments sections of your content?

• 22:36Speaker 05

  I don't want it to.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  Is it gonna live on an email, is it gonna live in a closed Facebook group?

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Connected to the, I guess, brands Facebook group. And I don't know how to begin to grow it, I just want to add, you know, some value.

• 22:51Speaker 00

  I think the thing that you have to think about is the following, it's the biggest mistake that so many young entrepreneurs are making right now. Everyone's like, "I'm starting a lifestyle brand." And I know you're not saying that, but you are kind of saying that. Let me explain what I mean by that. Cool. You're starting a community around conversation. What you have to first realize is, if you're gonna start a community, and it's just about the organic community, it means you're not gonna make any money the first couple of years. So the first thing you have to decide is how you're gonna live. And whether that's living at home and not having any expenses, or having another job and doing it from 6 to 2 in the morning, both are cool.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  But you have to make, remember the switch? You have to start understanding right now, that if you're gonna do this right, you're actually not gonna sell anything for a couple of years.

• 23:35Speaker 05

  Which is what I totally understand.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Good.

• 23:37Speaker 05

  After the first year.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 23:40Speaker 05

  After a year of that, I get it.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  Good. So, you're in, you know, you're in one big mode of creating community. I think a Facebook closed group is a great idea.

• 23:48Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  I think building out an email list is smart.

• 23:52Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 23:53Speaker 00

  I think building out a text message list is smart.

• 23:55Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 23:55Speaker 00

  I think it's really smart to be deep into the comments section of your social, and then extract them into first in line. Got it?

• 24:03Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 24:04Speaker 00

  Watch what I do, not what I say, right? But the biggest thing you first have to understand and the biggest fucking thing that people struggle with at 22 to 28 is being patient, is building towards something real. You have to realize how awesome it is to not have to ask anybody for money for three years because everybody else is asking for people's money.

• 24:22Speaker 05

  And I don't feel like I need to ask for money, like I've never felt like I needed funding.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  Good. So then, I would be honest with you, I don't think you need that. Now I could tell you, I don't think you need your business partner, you need to build a community.

• 24:34Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  You don't need an operations or business person yet, you're not doing business.

• 24:37Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  Got it? So what you need to do is pour your heart and soul into conversations. I would highly recommend showcasing other people in the community. So I, if I were you, would do a Facebook Live every week with one of the commenters from the community.

• 24:55Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 24:56Speaker 00

  Because that will get other people in the community to comment more, which will make the community better because we're trying to win the golden ticket to be on the Facebook Live.

• 25:02Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 25:03Speaker 00

  See where I'm going?

• 25:04Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 25:05Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 25:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're welcome.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Those would be, I would just build, that's how I would do it.

• 25:09Speaker 05

  Okay, because I've actually, I wanna funnel a lot of my personal following into that group because it's kind of the same.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  So I would throw right hooks on Instagram Stories.

• 25:19Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 25:20Speaker 00

  Swipe up, join the group.

• 25:21Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  It's a good way to not, it's a good way to throw right hooks without throwing too many right hooks. Stories I think are more, you know, kind of like, there's so much, it's kind of like Twitter. You should add something to your email signature with a link to it. It's a very lightweight way to do it. Every time you're emailing somebody, they might see it.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  I have my social media profiles, I guess.

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Put your group in there, join the community.

• 25:41Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 25:42Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 25:43Speaker 05

  The other thing I had an idea on was, I started this thing, I have a personal website just connected to my Instagram, and I called it "People I Know," because I think people always want a recommendation from someone they know.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  That's cool.

• 25:57Speaker 05

  So throughout the last year, connected with a ton of people through the Instagram from VaynerNation, and...

• 26:04Speaker 00

  Do people still pop up because the content's on the internet?

• 26:07Speaker 05

  All the time. Yeah. All the time. I mean, I was flooded at first. I think I got eight thousand, like, within twenty-four hours, followers. Um, and it's progressively just grown to now it's twenty-six, I think. Um, but I get, I try to do all my DMs, but it still just says ninety-nine plus in the message request at all times.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  I know that life.

• 26:28Speaker 05

  And they're all commenting back from the video, basically.

• 26:32Speaker 00

  Do you get razzed? Do a lot of people like, "You fuck", like, I would assume, really?

• 26:35Speaker 05

  So here's the cool, here's the cool thing that happened.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  I would've thought at least twenty percent would've been like, "Wake the fuck up!", you know, just by the nature, but not, yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 05

  And in the comment section, everyone attacked back. Like, I never commented back to them. I'm like, "I'm not gonna do that."

• 26:49Speaker 00

  You're not sure, yeah.

• 26:49Speaker 05

  Um, but my followers started to comment back, basically doing it for me, um, and then it just died. So there's like zero negative anymore. Yeah, and then the other cool thing is they're all DMing me, basically saying, "Thank you", and I'm like, "I didn't do anything. Thank Gary."

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Well, it takes two to tango, right? It's just a moment in time.

• 27:12Speaker 05

  It is.

• 27:12Speaker 00

  It's just a moment in time.

• 27:14Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:14Speaker 00

  Here's the best part. The, this is what's great about documenting this whole journey for me, like, this is so interesting.

• 27:22Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:22Speaker 00

  You know, like, in so many ways, um, you have to take the momentum of that call and apply it now. What you need to do now.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  That's what I'm trying to do.

• 27:31Speaker 00

  Let me, let me, like, all these cute answers, questions you have here, let me give you the only answer that matters.

• 27:36Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 27:36Speaker 00

  I'm being dead serious with you.

• 27:38Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 27:38Speaker 00

  Every minute you have, for them.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  Now, you don't have the same experience, all you have for them is you're living the same life and you're over-communicating your truths. A lot of people hold them in.

• 27:51Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  That's how you can win the most. "Today was a great day. Saw Gary. Tomorrow's a bad day", da-da-da-da, all that. Documenting, not creating, right?

• 27:59Speaker 00

  But the other biggest thing you need to do is showcase them within you. This can't be just, if you're gonna build a community, it can't be just about you. It was easier for me to be about me because I'm coming from an expertise, not just a documenting place.

• 28:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 00

  I put in the 20 years of work and skills to be able to be the talker. When you're the documenter of something like this, I think it's more powerful for you to bring them into it.

• 28:24Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  I'm telling you, Facebook Live.

• 28:25Speaker 05

  Live with it?

• 28:26Speaker 00

  It's going to, like, kind of just like, "How was your week?" kind of segment? Like, with that person.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  I did something like that, um, at one point. I made a post, I don't even remember. But I was like, "I wanna choose five people and just Zoom with you."

• 28:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  Like, have a Zoom call. And that was really cool.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  Facebook Live, cuz the Facebook group is your big thing.

• 28:45Speaker 05

  Okay. I like that.

• 28:47Speaker 00

  And I would start using Facebook Messenger as much as possible, too.

• 28:49Speaker 05

  The AI version of it?

• 28:51Speaker 00

  No.

• 28:52Speaker 05

  No, just personally?

• 28:53Speaker 00

  You, human.

• 28:53Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 28:54Speaker 00

  Facebook. You have to understand, I asked you the most important question, which is, where's this gonna live? Your answer was Facebook.

• 29:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  So, Live and Messenger need to create that whole, you know, kind of stratosphere. Makes sense?

• 29:07Speaker 05

  You think building a community through Facebook is still the place to do it?

• 29:10Speaker 00

  I think Facebook Groups is an incredible place to do it.

• 29:12Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 29:12Speaker 00

  I do. And even though your community probably will skew young and not overtly spending time on Facebook, everybody still kinda has it, or could have it. And Facebook's group's infrastructure is a very good infrastructure for this kinda shit.

• 29:25Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Matter of fact, it's one of the things that I wanna do more of.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  Okay. Cuz that was the one thing that I wasn't...

• 29:30Speaker 00

  I got it.

• 29:30Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  You need a home. And I think the group can help you. I like Facebook Groups.

• 29:36Speaker 05

  Cool, cuz I...

• 29:37Speaker 00

  But listen to me. Are you doing anything? Do you have a job?

• 29:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I work for my mom. She's got...

• 29:42Speaker 00

  I remember.

• 29:43Speaker 05

  Family business.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  Great, so that's even better. Like, make sure you deliver for that, but like, every fucking minute.

• 29:48Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 29:49Speaker 00

  Look, this is something I think people forgot. I was running Wine Library and building Wine Library TV. I used to run the business till 7:30, drive back home to New York, and from 8:30 to 2:00 in the morning, I just answered all my email, all my comments on my WordPress from Wine Library TV, and went on Twitter and searched "wine conversations" and engaged. I used to go to sleep at 2:30 to 3:30 after I'd already made it to build what I've built. For four years, every day.

• 30:20Speaker 05

  Okay. It works.

• 30:23Speaker 00

  It works, but it's like a brain fuck. Like, I'm telling you, you've gotta do it completely all in. Five, six hours a day, seven hours a day after you work on the family business. Until like midnight, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock. And this is just based on your ambition. Like, by the way, you can do whatever you want. You can hang out every day, but like if you want it to happen...

• 30:44Speaker 05

  I want to do that.

• 30:45Speaker 00

  Okay, well if you wanna do it, that's what you have to do. And you have to do it for 3 years and ask for nothing, because at the end of 3 years, when you ask for people to buy 1 t-shirt, you'll sell more t-shirts after giving 3 years of love in 1 day than you would've in all 3 years if you sold them every fucking day.

• 31:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I've stopped. I don't believe in the "buy my shirt" type of crap. Um, so I kinda cut all that and...

• 31:08Speaker 00

  Because you saw that you didn't have the leverage.

• 31:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, why would people wanna buy my t-shirt?

• 31:13Speaker 00

  That's right. You had my fanbase trying to build a community with you off of this magic moment. Of course they weren't gonna buy it. It was fun. I caught it, wind of it at one point, maybe like, you know, 3 or 4 months after, like somehow I saw something. And I was like watching it, and I almost DM'd you, and I was like, "I'm gonna let her go through this herself, and I'm gonna see what she does with it."

• 31:34Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  "I'm glad that you got to this place. Now you know it for yourself. Now it's time you spend the next fucking 3, 4 years of your life building equity. Then you can figure out what to do with that equity."

• 31:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz I'm trying to figure out what that equity is.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  And that's what's so great about, I did too.

• 31:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 00

  It took me years of engaging before I was like, "Okay, wow." Do you think I knew? When you're your, when you are yourself, when you are you, you don't know what makes you special, what's, like, you don't have context. I didn't, all the things that people admire me for, they just seem normal. Patience felt, I didn't even know patience was a thing. It's just what I did. I didn't know work ethic was, like, I didn't know any of these things were a thing. I didn't realize I was emotionally intelligent. I didn't realize I loved empathy and gratitude. It took me time.

• 32:17Speaker 05

  Which is totally what I went through in the last couple years. I went to some Tony Robbins events and stuff, so like, figuring out who I am, like, what I'm good at, what I love.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  But, look, you went to those events, and yet we still had the call, and you were fucking nowhere. Right? Or you're talking about you want this shit?

• 32:34Speaker 05

  I went after.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  Got it, got it, got it.

• 32:35Speaker 05

  I was like, wait.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  Got it, got it.

• 32:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I went after.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Got it, perfect.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  Maybe six months after.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  Got it. It's about actions. Whether you fucking get a call with me or go to an event? Bullshit. It's about actions. So, but you've gotta get that trigger.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  Yup.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  You're on the path.

• 32:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:49Speaker 00

  Honestly? That post where I say like, "Close your eyes until you're 29", that's basically the advice I'm giving you right now. Just fucking close, like you know what to do now. Just fucking give, but the one thing is, there's only two things I think you can give. You've built this little base off of this moment. Awareness to the rest of the community, members of each other, by doing these Friday livestreams, or however you decide, you might want to do one every night.

• 33:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 00

  And, your truths of the ups and downs along the way. Those are the only two things you're documenting, and being a platform for others, is the leverage for now. It's all you've got to give.

• 33:26Speaker 05

  Okay. Now, what do you think of documenting, just like webcam style, straight on?

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 33:31Speaker 05

  Or do you think just documenting the whole day?

• 33:32Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 33:33Speaker 05

  Cause I did.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  I mean, document the whole day's tough.

• 33:36Speaker 05

  I tried it, and it was like, I can't.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  But you can use snap along the way, like stories, you know? Don't overthink that.

• 33:42Speaker 05

  Okay. Okay.

• 33:44Speaker 00

  Alright, I gotta bounce.

• 33:45Speaker 05

  I don't know what else to ask you, anyway.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  Good. Cause I've given you the fucking answer.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  I know.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  It's just close your-

• 33:50Speaker 05

  I know what to do, it's just-

• 33:51Speaker 00

  It's hard. It's hard. I know you know what to do. It's hard. It's like, close your eyes for four years. Nothing good is gonna happen for four years.

• 34:00Speaker 05

  That's probably the biggest thing that's set in for me. Like, it'll happen, just-

• 34:04Speaker 00

  If you do the fucking right things for four years.

• 34:08Speaker 05

  I agree. I don't know, it's just been this crazy year of complete self-awareness, doubling down on my strengths, and not focusing on the stuff that I'm not great at. So I tried really hard to want to do, you know, the whole Facebook ads thing, and I tried to do it for my mom's company. Um, I didn't know what I was doing. It wasn't really something I was passionate about, was Facebook ads. So, don't do the things that you're passionate about. And, the one thing that I really, really did, which I totally, totally recommend, is, do more. Um, try new things, get new hobbies, do some sports, uh, start painting. Like, literally, the more you try, the more you'll know if you like it or not,

• 34:51Speaker 05

  which tells you more about yourself, which tells you maybe if you want to completely change industries. Um, I went to school for fashion and design, so I started a fashion apparel business and found that designing's kind of not what I want to do. I don't want to sew clothes, I don't want to, you know, do the fabric thing. Um, I love the creativity behind it, I love the designing, I love picking, you know, the colors and drawing and all that stuff. Um, and only through doing the stuff did I figure out what part of it I liked. Um, do more. It's pretty simple.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  Everybody, if you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention and, uh, thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.