Ralph Barbosa on Netflix Fame, Getting Recognized at Jiffy Lube, & His Love for Tom Hanks

YERRR – Texas’ own Ralph Barbosa is on Flagrant and it was straight vibes. Is Ralph a weeaboo? Is he addicted to junk car hustles on Facebook Marketplace? Ralph brings his chill comedic genius to the Flagrant table to explain it all. We're talking Bobby Lee, taping specials, drinking games, crowd work magic, and an Epstein-Tom Hanks crossover that should not make sense—but totally does. All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Ralph Barbosa hosting 00:44 Ralph's a weeaboo 2:03 Facebook marketplace + Junk cars 5:23 Ralph's in love 7:43 Choose up + History Buffs 14:34 What is true love? Boat stories 24:12 Chicago = incredible 26:49 Puerto Ricans + Ralph's country accent 30:31 Ralph's rise in comedy 34:45 Drinking games + Akaash's eyes 39:10 Not reading comments + Taping 42:46 Bobby Lee + working on your comedy 46:41 Resting b*tch face + 360 fight 52:33 Akaash = all the races + Ego death 1:01:12 Ditching therapy + Yearly Punch Up 1:06:31 Never being in a fight 1:11:15 Gathering knowledge on podcasts 1:15:06 Marrying different + Mark's Prison Vist 1:22:01 Mexicans love Chevys + Houston love 1:28:40 Being a dad + Demographics 1:37:20 Epstein + Tom Hanks' best movies 1:44:09 Middle spots = best + Crowd working 1:53:03 Racing channel + Sopranos' Ending 2:01:03 Akaash = greatest wing man Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:28Speaker 03

  And we're back, everybody. I'm Ralph Barbosa, and I'm gonna be taking over Flavien today.

• 1:33Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah, let's go, baby!

• 1:35Speaker 03

  I'm down. First off, we're gonna make some changes.

• 1:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, also, what are we back from?

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Commercial break.

• 1:43Speaker 04

  This is the start of the episode. Start of the episode, dude.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  Well, welcome, everybody.

• 1:47Speaker 04

  Hey, Ralph Barbosa is on the episode. Let's go, superstar.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  Who are we talking about today?

• 1:53Speaker 04

  You, man. You, whatever else you want to talk about. I heard George Lopez loves you. Favorite, his favorite comic.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  Probably. Me and George Lopez will be starring in the new Street Fighter movie, so.

• 2:08Speaker 05

  I think that's just a street fight.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  It'd be on Twitter.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  Streetfighted. Yo, so you got a new special, just came out last Friday, as of the time this releases.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, last Friday my special came out.

• 2:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I heard it's killing it, dude. Crazy numbers.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's the one special in the world.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's the greatest special ever made.

• 2:30Speaker 04

  What's it called? You wanna plug it?

• 2:31Speaker 03

  It's called Planet Bosa.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, and it's on Hulu.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  It's on Hulu.

• 2:35Speaker 04

  Not Netflix.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  It's a Dragon Ball Z ripoff name. It's like they have Planet Vegeta.

• 2:40Speaker 05

  Oh, I was wondering what that was.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:42Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  So it's just like Planet Bosa.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  And that was kind of a stretch, I'm gonna be honest with you.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  It wasn't that clear of a connection.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  It definitely not that clear.

• 2:51Speaker 05

  But it always makes sense. The trailer had like, you know, like some, uh.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Like video gaming.

• 2:55Speaker 05

  Video game animation. You hit the, you know, the Dragon Ball in it.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  Hadouken. Oh, no, no, I hit the Kamehameha. Hadouken was the last special.

• 3:03Speaker 05

  I didn't know you were obsessed with a little weeaboo.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 3:05Speaker 05

  Nah, you're a weeaboo, bro.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Not really, bro.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  What is a weeaboo, I'm all?

• 3:08Speaker 05

  A weeaboo? That is a white person that's obsessed with like Japanese and Asian culture.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  I'm not obsessed. I don't even know the name of my favorite sushi spot.

• 3:17Speaker 05

  He ain't saying he's not white, though. That's what I'm saying.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  I'll take it, bro. You gotta take every, like, opportunity to be white.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  What are you doing now? You got all this money, you got all this fame. How's, how's life different? You came on here 2023, I think it was? And you were just starting your crazy rise.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Which is fire. I'm glad we see you both. So how's, how things changed? How's life changed?

• 3:41Speaker 03

  You know, what's crazy is I made so much money from then to now, but today I have the same amount of money I had

• 3:51Speaker 03

  when I first came on here.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  But on what? You live with your pops?

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Facebook Marketplace, brother.

• 3:57Speaker 05

  How many do fills?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  I'm a horrible negotiator.

• 4:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, what does it look like? Like, how often you on Facebook Marketplace looking at cards? Be honest.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  All the time.

• 4:05Speaker 05

  Every day?

• 4:06Speaker 03

  And I love to be the guy who like blesses people. Cause you know, Marketplace, you know how it is, everybody's lowballing you. I love to be the guy that's like, I'll give you $10,000 extra.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  Why?

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Nah, I won't do that.

• 4:19Speaker 05

  As Akash's Indian inside of him is getting so angry.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  I couldn't handle it. Wait, so what are you spending money on? I know whips, but like, how many cars you got?

• 4:28Speaker 03

  So, the first time I came out here, I had a few cars and I was really proud of like, oh, I have like this low mileage Impala and stuff. But I've discovered, I don't like that. I've discovered I'm more into the marketplace junk that we can like turn into something, you know?

• 4:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  What kind of junk? Junk, like junk, bro. Like, um, like I bought a 1976 Camaro, not even like a Z28.

• 4:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, real trash, real trash.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  It sounds awesome.

• 4:56Speaker 06

  Automatic?

• 4:56Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 4:57Speaker 06

  Four-speed automatic, like the worst version of it.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  The worst.

• 5:00Speaker 06

  But I like that, I like that.

• 5:02Speaker 04

  This is, this is, this seems like white things to do.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  He's a weeaboo, bro.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this seems like what white people do. I was out in the Hamptons for a couple of weeks, very white place, and what they will do is buy old cars for while they're in the Hamptons and whip those around. And that's the flex.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  That's their Hampton car?

• 5:20Speaker 04

  How shitty is your Hampton's car?

• 5:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  What?

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Nah, it's not shitty, it's not shitty.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  It is shitty though.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  But are they like old, like classics? Like, are they like shitty but worth a lot?

• 5:29Speaker 05

  It's like an electric FJ, or it's like just like, it's an old Bronco.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Like a 1988 Land Cruiser.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  That's okay.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  It looks kinda tough to be honest with you.

• 5:37Speaker 05

  Refab, the interior is all redone, they're super, they're not.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  What are you talking about?

• 5:41Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 5:41Speaker 04

  Son, I was in Andrew's fucking SUV and he was like, where's the gear shift?

• 5:46Speaker 05

  His car is impossible to get. It's impossible to get.

• 5:48Speaker 06

  It's all esoteric.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  That kinda shit. What's, what's es- what'd you say?

• 5:52Speaker 06

  It's like all cars that are sort of hard to get, like, that are unique and, and low volume cars.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  They're still pieces of shit.

• 5:59Speaker 06

  But they're, no.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  They're like technically valuable.

• 6:02Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  But they're like.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  No, I don't think they're technically valuable.

• 6:05Speaker 06

  Like a 90's Defender is like 200K and everyone out there wants one of those.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Is Michelle Pfeiffer still alive?

• 6:12Speaker 04

  That's a great question. Yes.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  I'm gonna say yes. I'm gonna say.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  When I see these cars, I think of like Michelle Pfeiffer, like in her time.

• 6:20Speaker 04

  She was the joint. It was the. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  You still have to respect the beauty.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  You still gotta respect that it's a Michelle Pfeiffer car. Even though today, I wouldn't.

• 6:31Speaker 05

  Stop it, Ralph. You're not gonna, come on. Let's get Michelle Pfeiffer.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  That's what you're saying. In his time.

• 6:35Speaker 05

  Let's get Michelle today, though.

• 6:36Speaker 04

  No, I think she ages. A woman is allowed to age naturally.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Jamie, pull up.

• 6:40Speaker 04

  She didn't do get no work done.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Her and Michelle.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  But I'm not, I'm not taking a run at it.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Sorry, I just did Rogan's podcast. Her as Catwoman? Maybe it'll start like a white woman.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  No, Ralph, Ralph, how is being single at this?

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm single, but I'm in love.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Oh, with whom?

• 6:57Speaker 03

  I can't say.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Why not, dude? Wait, hold on.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  She doesn't, she doesn't love me back, bro. It's horrible.

• 7:02Speaker 04

  Can you, wait, sorry, I forgot your name already. Gabriel. Can you, can you finish it?

• 7:06Speaker 05

  Abraham.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  Abraham. Oh, my bad. Abraham?

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Bro, you're so rich, bro. People's names like.

• 7:13Speaker 05

  He just makes it up.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  He's like Abraham. He's like Gabriel. I'm not, I'm just old, dude. I'm 41.

• 7:18Speaker 05

  He's like Eric. And he's too nice. He almost accepted. He's like, yes, sir.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Day one in a row, bro.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  All right, so Damian, tell us a little bit.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Please, please do that to him because, because he needs a comeback story. This is gonna be in the NFL one day, hopefully soon.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  Word. What happened?

• 7:36Speaker 03

  Nothing happened. It's, it's in the process. What do you mean what happened? Does he already look like he missed his shot?

• 7:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what you said. You said comeback story, dude. Why are you putting that on me?

• 7:45Speaker 03

  The comeback story as in like when he makes it big, he's gonna come back here and be like, remember you forgot my name?

• 7:53Speaker 04

  All right, Aaron, so tell us a little bit, what's, what's going on with Ralph's love life? He's in love with some girl, unrequited love.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  I can't, I can't say much, but.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  Then why the fuck we give you a microphone? Dimitri?

• 8:06Speaker 03

  I can't be a seller to my guy, bro.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  You see, he's a loyal friend.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Why he's on the team?

• 8:11Speaker 04

  How many cars he buy you to keep this silence?

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Zero, but he fixes my car.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Oh, there you go.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  He has AC thanks to me.

• 8:22Mark Gagnon?

  He's not wrong.

• 8:22Speaker 05

  He needs it right now, bro. He's sweating.

• 8:25Mark Gagnon?

  My AC, my AC got messed up. I didn't know the Dallas heat was real and he warned me, but.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  Dallas, where'd you come from?

• 8:31Mark Gagnon?

  California.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Oh, Dallas heat is different though.

• 8:34Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, sucks.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  And now when I go back, I'm like, I can't do that. I don't, I can't, I used to say I'm gonna move back and now I'm like, fuck that.

• 8:41Speaker 05

  I hear in the Hamptons, driving Michelle Pfeiffer around. It's crazy how, how fast it changes, right?

• 8:47Speaker 04

  It switches up quick.

• 8:47Speaker 05

  Wait, so where's this girl? Does she live in, in Texas?

• 8:50Mark Gagnon?

  I don't wanna talk about it no more.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  No way.

• 8:52Mark Gagnon?

  Dating life has been fun.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  Abraham.

• 8:55Mark Gagnon?

  Single life is cool, man.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  I'm not trying to threaten you. All I'm saying is, I do have the number to ICE.

• 9:04Mark Gagnon?

  Hey, bro, they want me here and there. You can't get me here.

• 9:08Mark Gagnon?

  I'm legal in both countries.

• 9:09Speaker 05

  Dual citizenship, he can't lose.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  I heard Trump is trying to take that shit away.

• 9:13Mark Gagnon?

  The dual citizenship?

• 9:14Speaker 05

  For everybody?

• 9:16Speaker 04

  You gotta choose up. That's what I heard.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  You're getting dual citizenship.

• 9:21Mark Gagnon?

  I know, but it's still fine for Trump to do that shit. I was like, nah, you gotta choose one.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  If you, if you, if like, you had to pick a country to be the next like, superpower, like, the place everyone go, everyone goes to to get jobs, what would you wanna do? India?

• 9:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I, that's what I think it's gonna be.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  You, for real?

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:39Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, India's doing that good right now?

• 9:42Speaker 05

  I like that you're talking about like, it's an NFL team. No, wait, who'd they get? Who'd they get?

• 9:46Speaker 04

  India's on the come up, dude. They got, they had a long way to go, but they're on the come up.

• 9:49Speaker 05

  They had a long.

• 9:50Mark Gagnon?

  They got a long, yeah, yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, they got, they got built a factory.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. China might be before India, but I think India's gonna outlast them.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  But like, if it was up to you, you'd choose India?

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, what about you?

• 9:59Speaker 04

  What else would I choose?

• 10:00Speaker 05

  Like where I want it to be or where I think it's gonna be?

• 10:02Speaker 03

  Where you want it to be?

• 10:03Speaker 05

  I don't know, bro. It's gotta be a place with dreams. People gotta believe that it can happen and it's always gotta be a place with nice weather. That's what I want.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Spain.

• 10:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, south, south of Spain. What if we just run it back? Cause Spain used to run all the shit.

• 10:14Speaker 04

  San Antonio used to be the shit.

• 10:16Mark Gagnon?

  That's my shit.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Spain used to run shit?

• 10:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, back in the, I thought you were a history book.

• 10:20Speaker 05

  Why do you think you speak Spanish?

• 10:23Speaker 04

  You said he was a history guy.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  You're talking about the history of Australia.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  When?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Talking about the history of Australia, you were talking about a Boston Tea Party at the podcast in LA.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. You know about the Boston Tea Party?

• 10:42Speaker 05

  You switched up on us, bro.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Do I know about the Boston Tea Party? I have an idea of it.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  I feel like, I feel like that's one of the, it's because the Boston Tea Party, like if you really think about it, like,

• 10:55Speaker 03

  on social media these days, they don't make white people look good, Mark. I'm sorry.

• 11:00Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 11:02Speaker 03

  White people did this and white people did that back in the day, right?

• 11:05Speaker 05

  I agree. That is true, yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  They make white history look so bad.

• 11:08Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  But you guys had cool ass moments, like the Boston Tea Party.

• 11:13Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  Right?

• 11:14Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Because of taxes and shit, right?

• 11:16Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Something like that.

• 11:17Speaker 05

  Civil War.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Right? I don't know about Civil War.

• 11:19Speaker 05

  Well, half of us look good. Half of us look pretty good.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  Half of them look good.

• 11:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, half of you guys look fucking good.

• 11:24Speaker 04

  That half gets lost. It's a real, hey, hey, we look at the Civil War as a real glass half empty kind of situation.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  Isn't it?

• 11:31Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? What about the other, what about the water?

• 11:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  That's the half of us. Which you guys were waiting.

• 11:36Speaker 05

  Yeah. Exactly.

• 11:37Mark Gagnon?

  What half? What half are you talking?

• 11:39Speaker 05

  I'm Canadian, bro. That's what, like, people would come up there for, for refuge.

• 11:42Mark Gagnon?

  Okay.

• 11:43Speaker 05

  And we would take y'all in.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  So Boston Tea Party, it's a Boston Tea Party cool moment to you?

• 11:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that was cool because a bunch of Boston dudes, you know, they're just mad as fuck that the Czech said net and then gross.

• 11:56Speaker 05

  They got a versus deal. And they're like, the fuck?

• 11:58Speaker 03

  They're like, let's go dump this gay ass tea in the water.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, Doug. Coffee from now on.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  Fucking, you know, what Great Britain was just like, the fuck they doing? And start fighting. Well, I was watching this one video because I'm, I'm not really a history buff, but I'm trying to, you know. Gain up my knowledge here.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  And I was watching this video on like, um, like how, how like much of war started and shit.

• 12:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, like which ones?

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, there was like World War One.

• 12:27Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  It started with like World War Two. It was like, how did that one start?

• 12:31Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  And the video was like, well, to understand how that one started, you gotta understand why World War One started. And then in that vi- in that video, that dude was like, if you gotta understand how this one started, you gotta understand, uh, like the Seven Years' War and then the French Revolution.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  That's too mu- see, now you're losing.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  But this is, this is my theory on-

• 12:49Speaker 04

  They lost me on all of them.

• 12:50Speaker 05

  This is my theory on history is that like to understand any war right now, you gotta go back to the first one to the ba- to the other one. There's only ever been one war. You know what I mean?

• 12:58Speaker 03

  Which war?

• 12:58Speaker 05

  Just life. You know what I mean? Like to understand like-

• 13:01Speaker 04

  So-

• 13:02Speaker 03

  You're a real poet, aren't you?

• 13:03Speaker 05

  I know, I know.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  Okay, goes Genghis Khan. I gotta study fucking Genghis Khan to see how Trump got elected?

• 13:10Speaker 05

  Unfortunately, yes.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, like, what is that? It's so annoying.

• 13:12Speaker 05

  To understand the Middle East right now, you gotta go back to World War Two when it all got carved up.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  But that's not that far back.

• 13:17Speaker 05

  But then to understand World War Two, you gotta go to World War One.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  And then to understand that, you gotta go understand the scramble for Africa.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  World War One. That's the one.

• 13:23Speaker 05

  Alright.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  From there forward, from that guy getting shot. What's his name? Franz Ferdinand?

• 13:27Speaker 05

  Archduke.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Who the fuck is that dude?

• 13:30Speaker 05

  You're the one that saw the video.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  So apparently, I- I don't know. He's gonna know better than me. He'll give you in-depth. We need a history expert on this pod. But Franz Ferdinand was the Archduke of?

• 13:38Speaker 05

  Uh, Prussia.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Prussia, which ain't even a thing anymore.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Prussia-

• 13:42Speaker 04

  His assassination-

• 13:43Speaker 03

  What, where was, where were they at?

• 13:44Speaker 05

  Fact-check me.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Near Russia?

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 05

  They were biting Russia heavy. They were like, we need a name for this shit. Austria-Hungary. Austria-Hungary, fuck, dude, I was so close.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  He got shot and that's what kicked off, that was like the thing that kicked off World War One. And then World War One kicked off World War Two. That one I know about because we were-

• 14:02Speaker 03

  I saw on the video that, uh, Great Britain, they were like dying to go to World War One. Like, they were like, they wanted that shit because they wanted to take out, uh, Germany's navy. Apparently, apparently like everybody was kicking Germany's ass. Pre-World War I.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  So I think that makes sense because apparently the after World War I, Germany was fucked and then they like made him pay all these taxes or whatever. Just I don't know what taxes were, like very heavy handed.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Germany had like some rough fucking years.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  And then they got really poor and then when Hitler came in power and they started making more money, they were like, oh, okay. Like that allowed for Hitler to come into power and to be like enabled.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  I don't know about all that. I didn't get that far into the video, but from what I understood, Germany had only become Germany for like shit. They had austerity.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Type shit, yeah. Type shit.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  Type shit, bro.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  It is, I'm bad, that's me. My information is all type shit information. I'm not exactly right, but it's that type of shit.

• 14:52Speaker 05

  The way they tried to kill Franz Ferdinand is hilarious. So this is the dude, basically you got like a whole, everyone is pissed off in Europe. Everyone's got different alliances. And then this one guy dying basically created a whole issue and put every, every little alliance into motion. Everyone starts fighting.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  I feel like the bigger your mustache gets, like the more people probably want to kill you. You know what I mean? Like that guy was pushing it. I feel like that's how Andrew's shoulders are gonna look in a few years.

• 15:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, once you start going up, like once it starts like to defy gravity.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  So you don't, there, he hasn't talked about this, but they're gonna take the extensions out of his hair and leave a couple for his mustache. You know, you know what I noticed about this guy? Beautiful eyes.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 15:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, you didn't notice that?

• 15:29Speaker 03

  I can't see that far.

• 15:30Speaker 04

  Are you homophobic and Mexican to be honest about the fact that his eyes are?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  I thought he was blind.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  Cause they're that blue.

• 15:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  That's crazy. That guy was probably fucking bitches back then.

• 15:40Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. I think that's actually what happened. He was literally on a vacation with like his mistress. I'm pretty sure.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:46Speaker 05

  Well, he was in Sarajevo with like a side piece and then, or some shit like that.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  What?

• 15:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  You know what's crazy about that is if he had just been honest and told his homies who he was in love with, maybe they could have saved his life. You know what I mean?

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Sometimes you gotta die. Sometimes you gotta die for love. You don't know what true love is, even though you're happy married.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Okay, tell me about true love, dude.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  True love, you just, you just feel it. Alright, true love is a combination of like head chemicals and brain chemicals.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  If you don't stop rotating in this chair, we're gonna have to switch.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  It's been way, it's been crazy.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  People tell me that a lot on the podcast, don't, don't rotate.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  You'll just sit here? Cause now you look less comfortable.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  No, it's okay.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  Okay, alright. You can put your arms here, just rest them.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  I better not.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  Alright, let's stay still and let's talk about some real subjects. How's married life for you? How's that been?

• 16:40Speaker 04

  I love it dude. I love it. You thinking about it?

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Are you, do you feel like it's affecting your comedy? Like are you more like a Ray Romano type now?

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I talk about marriage more, but as soon as I started getting in relationships, I talked about it more. But there was like a whole, there's like a whole gold mine there of stuff to talk about.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  There is. I mean, and everybody's situation is a little unique, but also relatable. The more, the more unique and, and specific you get into your stories and your jokes, the more relatable they end up being.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  I know I got a good relationship joke based on the type of laugh. Cause there's a laugh that's like, that's us. That's when I'm like, oh, I got one.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  I don't think there's a big market for people who are in love with somebody they could never be with.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  No, there's a massive market for that.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 17:23Speaker 04

  Drake built a career off of that.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Drake loves everybody though.

• 17:28Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, now he's a diff, he's in a different space. He's whoever he wants.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Back when he started, it was a lot of like, I like you, I don't know if you like me. I can see that kind of journey for you.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Do you think Drake will ever find love, like true love?

• 17:43Speaker 04

  I don't know if he's looking for it.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  I think once you hit a certain tax bracket, it's that much harder.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Do you think you're gonna hit that tax bracket? Cause what I'm seeing from you is, I don't wanna be that.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  I, I wanna be like, um, I don't know. Who knows what I want?

• 18:00Speaker 04

  You, motherfucker.

• 18:02Speaker 05

  Also, let the record show, Akash is gonna try to force you to get married, okay? Cause ever since Akash got married, he wants everyone else to be married.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  That's not because I got married, because I'm Indian. We arrange marriages. That's, don't ever, don't ever test my Indians.

• 18:14Speaker 05

  He's like, yeah, I got it good. You get to choose.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  My dad didn't get to choose.

• 18:18Speaker 05

  That's a good point.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  He won.

• 18:19Speaker 05

  That is true.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  My mom lost.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  I would, see, that's cool about the Indian culture is like you guys get to choose. And I feel like that's a big weight off the shoulders, you know?

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  It's like, I don't wanna choose, bro.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause too many women have thrown themselves at you. I've heard stories.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  What, from who?

• 18:36Speaker 04

  We do the same, we do the same venue sometimes. I hear stories.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  You hear stories, they're bad stories.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  They're pretty cool stories. They're pretty cool stories, to be honest with you. They're pretty cool stories.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  They confuse me and Abraham a lot, even though he's like seven inches taller than me.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  I don't want to blow up your spot. I'm just saying, I hear stories. And if this girl whom you love, or guy, whatever, if this person that you love, this non-binary person, if they don't get it together, they might lose the opportunity. They might let Ralph Barbosa slip through their fingers. Their fingers, I'm saying they.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  That part you should listen to them, but don't listen to the stories, alright? Stories are just rumors.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  This is a coveted asset.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  I'm like, uh, like, I'm very professional. I'm like CIA. I go in there, I get the job done, and I'm out. Like James Bond. James Bond, Jason Bourne.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  Are you talking about comedy or hoes?

• 19:28Speaker 03

  No, comedy.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  You ever go on a boat with hoes? I know that sounds, I know it's like the song or whatever, but...

• 19:38Speaker 03

  You just brought up a memory. Is it Chicago? Yeah. How do you know about this? I was, you know, I heard stories.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  What can I say, Ralph? You heard these stories too? Yeah, sometimes we do the same boats, you know what I mean? I was on a boat, I was talking to the captain, I was like, "You had any pirates out here?" He's like, "Oh, there's one." We took the captain to the show afterwards. I was not like partaking in the hoes on the boat. I was more just an observer. And I'm also not saying, like, I have to be very clear about this because I don't, I don't want to, like, be...

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Upset the person you love.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I just don't want to like... Could you tell me about this story? Because I didn't hear about this boat. Yes, oh, refresh. I just want to say, I don't, I'm not saying that all women are hoes. No. I'm not referring to women as hoes, no. I'm saying these particular women were in fact hoes. I was on a boat...

• 20:30Speaker 04

  As in whores, prostitutes.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  No. They're not professionals.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  When you said "in fact," I just thought the fact was...

• 20:37Speaker 03

  When you add the "are," I feel like you're implying that they're like, get paid. These women were not getting paid.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  That's worse, that's actually considerably worse in my eyes.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  These women were hoeing for sport.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Love it again, okay.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  That's better to me because they're doing it out of their heart. They're hoeing from the heart.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Okay, got it.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Nah, it was just crazy to me. We're in Chicago and- I just look at hoes like open mic comics and whores like headliners.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  You gotta work your way up to that. Yeah, like you're doing it. We all love the game. Earn the hard R. Yeah, but you don't get paid spots yet. I don't know, man. I'm like very artsy, so I just prefer a hoe over a whore.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  The money's not tainting it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all creative. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, continue. Sorry. Anyway, we're in Chicago doing some shows and we decide to stay an extra couple of days to rent a boat, because everybody, not everybody, but a woman at a nightclub was like, "You gotta go on the lake while you're here. You gotta go rent a boat." Like, everybody goes on boats. And so I'm like, "All right, that's cool." So I tell these guys, like other guys that were with us, I'm like, "Let's do it for Monday." It was like a Sunday. And, you know, like most men, I'm in a group text with my boys. So I hit these guys up. I'm like, "Hey, come to Chicago like tonight so that we can go on a boat tomorrow.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  If you guys get here early tonight, we'll go out to a club and, you know, you go out there, meet girls, invite them out to the boat, because I don't want it to just be a bunch of dudes on the boat." You know what I mean? It feels like a Hail Mary play almost, just very last minute, like, "Come, we meet some girls, let's go on a boat." And everybody's like, "Fuck yeah, let's go. Let's do it." Most of the guys show up, even the dude with the girlfriend, who should not have showed up.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  But it's a boat, though. But, well, hold on. So this is how he almost sinks the boat. He shows up, they all show up, and the dude with the girlfriend ends up bringing his girlfriend. Oh. So it's like, "All right, fine." Yeah, it's like, "Cool, whatever. At least you have your date," you know what I mean? "Well, fine." The only thing I don't like about that is that this isn't a couples thing. Yeah. This is guys inviting random women on a boat thing. Yeah, amateur whores. Yeah, so it's like, if you're gonna bring your girl, you should have just stayed out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because here's what can happen. I'm not anti-couples, no, but here's what can happen. And it did happen, couples argue on boats.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Oh, this sounds awesome.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  It's inevitable. Once you get, once you get to a certain longitude latitude, the argument just started.

• 23:12Speaker 05

  Bermuda Triangle type shit.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  Mm hmm. You get out there, things start getting a little, little haywire.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  So anyway, my buddy invites this one, the, the door chick at a club and Abraham takes a date out there, uh, very nice person she brings like her cousin and um, it's like TikTokers and stuff.

• 23:36Speaker 05

  A door girl at a club is hilarious, like a bouncer, like you got, you brought a bouncer?

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Nah, it's just a bitch.

• 23:42Speaker 05

  I like the idea of a door woman.

• 23:43Speaker 03

  Which I don't understand, like, what her job even was. She was just there.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Names.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  I guess, I think she, I think she's just there to be like, well, she didn't even get her name. She's just like going, going.

• 23:53Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, it's just, she's just judging you and she'd be like, yeah, they, they look good enough to get it.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  I think she's just there in case people invite her on boats.

• 24:00Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, or that, or that.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was nice with her and we go out there and there wasn't even like music playing and the women just started shaking their asses. It was just like.

• 24:11Speaker 05

  Like a cappella, like just.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Acapella twerking, yeah.

• 24:14Speaker 05

  Just, just, you just hear clapping in the distance.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Which is why I'm like, bro, like, when women get over water, they just get like extra hoey sometimes. Not all women, just hoes get extra hoey.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Hoes set their game up on the water.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's big venue for them.

• 24:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 04

  This, this is the show.

• 24:29Speaker 05

  Maritime law also, you know what I mean? Like, like you just get out into like these deep waters and I just think it starts messing with their cycles or something.

• 24:35Speaker 03

  May, yeah, like the moon and the waves.

• 24:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  But even my photographer, where's Kika? He's out there. My photographer, his brother, even he was shaking his ass. And that's when I was like, all right, bring the boat back.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  The waves were affected too much, but anyway, it was fun.

• 24:51Speaker 05

  Didn't music get put on?

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, we did put music on.

• 24:54Speaker 05

  Immediately?

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Nah, we got out there, got settled in. The water was cold, man.

• 25:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, you went, you went on a lake. That's kind of funny to me that you got a yacht on a lake. Like I, I.

• 25:05Speaker 04

  Nah, the Chicago lake is beautiful.

• 25:06Speaker 05

  But I'm sure it's beautiful.

• 25:07Mark Gagnon?

  They got yachts on there?

• 25:08Speaker 05

  I just assumed the story would take place in the ocean.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  I, I, you might be being liberal with the word yacht, you know what I mean?

• 25:14Speaker 03

  I would say yacht, bro, it was big.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Big?

• 25:16Speaker 03

  It was biggest yacht you've ever seen.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  How many, how many of these women, these G League whores, how many of them were on this boat? Double digits?

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, it was like six tops.

• 25:29Speaker 05

  And what was the ratio?

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Cause it was about even, right? It's like six dudes, six, six women.

• 25:35Speaker 05

  Just, just a, you know, basketball game, six v six.

• 25:37Speaker 04

  Six v six, yeah, yeah, yeah, five on five with the subs.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  You know what's crazy, like, Chicago is nuts, bro. I think Chicago is top three greatest nightlife cities.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  Really?

• 25:48Speaker 03

  In the States.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  I think Chicago, if it wasn't for the weather, it'd be, and it's a massive thing, but it'd be the best city, maybe in the world.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  Bro.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Fuck, yeah. It's incredible. It's not better than New York, but.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Well, like, New York is cool, but I have, I guess I haven't experienced enough nightlife in New York. I need to experience more nightlife in New York, cause I like that the bars stay open till like 4 a.m. That's cool. Chicago, you can find some of that too, but Chicago, I feel like is also,

• 26:16Speaker 03

  I don't know, i- i- I guess cause it's not as big as New York, it's easy to like run into different people, which I think is pretty cool, like you get to know people and stuff.

• 26:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  You do, but.

• 26:26Speaker 05

  So much, so much talent out here. We have like professional whores, but they still act like hoes, so.

• 26:31Speaker 04

  Women, New York women, unbelievable, probably better than Chicago women. Like, I can't imagine Chicago.

• 26:38Speaker 05

  You, you have some fun out here.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  You, you in particular, based on the stories I hear about you? You, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you can move out here, I know you were thinking about moving out here, is that still a thought?

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I stayed out here for like two months.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I remember I saw you like a month in and you're like, yeah, I think this might be, this might be it.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, but now I went home, I couldn't do it. Cause I got a son, you know?

• 26:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  And I, I couldn't work it out, the, the schedule the way I liked it.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Cause you're just drowning in pussy over here.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  Nah. I don't, I don't know what they're talking about.

• 27:09Speaker 05

  Well, that's what I'm curious, you say you like Chicago for the nightlife, but I don't see you as like a big partier. Like, correct me if I'm wrong.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Well, it just depends where I'm at.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Would you like anything now, we have alcohol, we have, I don't know.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  You guys, let's get drunk, you guys wanna get drunk? Wanna get drunk before your flight? What do you like to drink?

• 27:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, we can get you some. I don't, I don't drink, but.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  These are all, are these real?

• 27:28Speaker 04

  What do we have for him to drink?

• 27:31Speaker 06

  Damn near everything out there.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  Damn near everything, whiskey, tequila, rum. What about beer, good old fashioned beer?

• 27:37Speaker 04

  We can get you good old fashioned beer if we don't have it.

• 27:39Speaker 05

  Modelo, not for any reason.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Hot beer.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Would you like beer?

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Are you gonna have a drink with me too?

• 27:47Speaker 04

  I don't drink.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  You don't drink?

• 27:48Speaker 04

  I don't drink.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  Well, I don't wanna drink then.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  No, they'll drink.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  You guys gonna drink?

• 27:52Speaker 04

  No, I was awesome when he gets drunk on the pod.

• 27:55Mark Gagnon?

  It will get racist. It will get insane.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  But he's half Puerto Rican.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. You're half Puerto Rican? I am. Why don't you talk more, bro?

• 28:06Speaker 04

  I'm trying to understand your accent.

• 28:08Mark Gagnon?

  It's very un-Puerto Rican of him, isn't it? Like, he's very stoic.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  You know, you get on his pod, you become white.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  Shoot, he's telling you, shoot or shoot.

• 28:18Speaker 05

  What is the Mexican perception of Puerto Ricans? Is there an internal perception?

• 28:21Speaker 03

  We're better people.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  I, I, I don't know. I've never asked other Mexicans. In my mind, I'm always just like, bro, Puerto Ricans are always making music that we dance to so much. Puerto Ricans is very talented with music and shit.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  Right.

• 28:35Speaker 03

  But then, sometimes I kinda am jealous that you guys are like technically American territory.

• 28:42Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  So it's just like, damn, they make good music. And then I'm mad because Bad Bunny got that part in Happy Gilmore 2. It made me like not-

• 28:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was good.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  He was.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  He was good.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  I wasn't gonna do better than that. I auditioned for that part.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Oh, did you really?

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I watched him. I was like, he did it better.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Yo, yo, you wanted to be an actor first, right?

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  And now, you're blowing up as a comedian. I feel like you could just be you in movies and TV. Is that a thing?

• 29:08Speaker 03

  That's what I tell the casting directors, but they don't-

• 29:12Mark Gagnon?

  They don't seem to see it.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  They don't see it, bro. I did a commercial for Verizon in Spanish.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  Oh, shit.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  And it was cool.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Can we pull that up? Is that online?

• 29:21Mark Gagnon?

  I'll look for it.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Miles will look for it. Our Jamie will look for it.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  They made me change the way I speak Spanish. Because apparently, the way I speak Spanish is like a country Spanish. It's like, I guess instead of being southern in Mexico, it's considered a northern accent.

• 29:37Speaker 05

  Is that more rural?

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was gonna get away with it though. It was like one day of filming, super easy. And it's like voiceover. It's like, so at the end of filming, they just had me like record the lines into a mic. And I was just like, hell yeah, like easy money.

• 29:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  You know, this is dope. And then, there was like different types of Latinos, there's like Puerto Ricans and like Argentinians and like, they were all like, okay, yeah, everything's going good. But- The lady who was like the costume designer who ended up becoming like my buddy, she was Mexican and she was like, hey, this dude talks like country, Spanish.

• 30:17Speaker 05

  Damn, she sold you out.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, so she was like, you know, like, and I think somebody else too, they were just like, hey, I don't know, he talks kind of country like, so then I.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  But your accent is good or no? Like my accent when I speak Hindi, it's clear I'm not from India.

• 30:30Speaker 03

  I think you can, you can tell I'm not from Mexico for sure, like, but I think also it stands out that like my family's from like North Mexico.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  Uh, okay.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I had to go and record, I had to fucking talk to a, what do you call it? Like a chick who knows how to.

• 30:47Mark Gagnon?

  Linguistic?

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Linguistic type, yeah, something like that.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  And she was like, oh, yeah, you talk like my dad. No, that's not it. I mean, I had to do that too, but that's not the commercial now.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  Damn, you're not speaking Spanish in that one?

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Commercial's not there, it's just gone.

• 31:02Mark Gagnon?

  No, but you're speaking Spanish in that video though, right?

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, we are speaking Spanish in that video. I was like, I had to do that too for the thing.

• 31:12Speaker 05

  Oh, I can tell, yeah, that's like deep, that's like farmer's, but yeah.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can tell.

• 31:16Speaker 05

  You can hear it, for real, you can hear the way he says it.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Your phone I got from Verizon takes real nice pictures. Why are you making me watch this?

• 31:26Speaker 04

  We've all done some shit, dude, don't even worry about it.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  I'd do it again.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  You got paid for yours. I've done shit that I didn't get paid for, that I hope will get me a paid gig.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  You were doing, you were doing a lot of acting?

• 31:36Speaker 04

  No, I was doing whatever, back before we had YouTube and you could just put clips on, you didn't know what you were doing. So if somebody was like, hey, do you want to do this web series? It could be a thing. I did shit that I was like, this is trash.

• 31:46Mark Gagnon?

  You were doing like background dancing in Bollywood, right?

• 31:49Speaker 04

  I wish I was.

• 31:50Mark Gagnon?

  That would be fire.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  I would, that would be fire. I would brag about that every day. No, uh, but yeah, you just, you didn't know. And then like, your, your is, yours is like the quintessential modern blow up in standup? Where you're doing comedy, how long were you doing comedy before your, don't tell?

• 32:05Speaker 03

  Six months.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  First set.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  It's like fucking six, almost seven years.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  Then you do this, don't tell. That, as far as I know, that's when I saw you. That shit blew up. And then boom, boom, boom, boom.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Which I think was still, for like comedy, was still pretty early.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  Oh, very.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Right?

• 32:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  I don't think I was ready to headline. People were coming to see my shows and I'm just like, fuck they doing?

• 32:29Speaker 04

  Nah, my brother saw you. Uh, he went to go see Osama Siddiqui. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the one Indian guy at your show. Nah, I feel like Indians will fuck with you.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  I think so too.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Especially like when I go to random ass cities like in the south of the Midwest. They get a lot of Indians coming out.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Especially like a, like a pothead Indian?

• 32:46Speaker 03

  Oh, no. Hell yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  They would love you.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  You, you know Osama?

• 32:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Bro, he's funny.

• 32:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, so Osama and my brother are actually friends weirdly. And then my, cause before, I think I introduced someone, I don't know, Osama met me or whatever. They went to school together.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  I know this is-

• 33:00Speaker 04

  So my brother watched Osama and then watched you come through and he was like, he's very funny, but now get to your racist story.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  I, nah, this is racist, but-

• 33:07Speaker 04

  I hope it is.

• 33:08Speaker 03

  Every time I meet somebody Indian, they know Osama.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  I was at, I was at the airport, yes, yesterday, the day before yesterday, I flew into Austin.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  And this dude was like, "Bro, I've seen you on stage before." He's like, "I actually know Osama." And I went to watch him and then I saw you. I know every Indian fan I have is thanks to Osama.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  Well, now you can have a couple more.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Hell yeah.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Comes out.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Thanks to Osama.

• 33:35Speaker 05

  See, this is where it comes from. Anytime you meet someone, it's like, "Oh, do you know this person?" And just because you guys are the same race, you assume they know him.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  But a lot of times, a lot of times they be right.

• 33:42Speaker 05

  That's the problem. You know what I mean? And even if you don't know that Osama, you know another one.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  I like the show.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  Look at that.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Oh shit, you got beers out here.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Look at that. Mark, shotgun one of those or do whatever the white things are.

• 33:54Speaker 05

  That shit is fire. Have, have Mexicans figured out a shotgun yet?

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Have Mexicans figured out a shotgun?

• 33:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  I have seen Mexicans shotgun pretty fast. I can shotgun fast, but-

• 34:03Speaker 05

  Really?

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I've seen them do it at my house.

• 34:06Speaker 05

  What about beer bong? You guys ever do those?

• 34:08Speaker 04

  Y'all do drinking game? I always associate drinking games cause it's more of a white thing, but I could, I could see Mexicans getting in on it. Y'all love like old white things, like seventies rock.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  But they don't need a game to drink. Beer, wait, hold on. This is like two, three questions. Beer bong?

• 34:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  Like a bong for beer?

• 34:24Speaker 05

  This is what you think, but it's not exactly that. It's literally just like a tube that you pour beer into.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Nah, I've never done that.

• 34:30Speaker 05

  Really?

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, this is, yeah, this is like peak white boy shit.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Look at it, neon colors.

• 34:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it has to be neon. And now they got them where like there's all sorts of contraptions. You fill it up, you pull the plug, it all goes down.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  I feel like I gotta do that before I turn thirty.

• 34:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  How old? Twenty-seven, twenty-eight?

• 34:46Speaker 03

  I'm twenty-eight.

• 34:47Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah. That's a good element of white culture, I think, that we did pretty good at.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:52Speaker 05

  Like, the drinking games, I think it was a good contribution.

• 34:54Speaker 03

  This, this beer will take down my nerves.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  Chug that shit, guys. Let's, let's get...

• 34:59Speaker 05

  What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What the fuck is this? This guy's so fucking annoying. I don't wanna chug a beer at fucking two in the morning, whatever time it is.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Oh, my god. It's fucking twelve-thirty.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Why is it that the sober guy's like, "You guys gotta chug these, by the way"?

• 35:13Speaker 05

  Right? And he wants you to get married, and he wants you to chug beer. It's like, it is a lot of projection. That's my point.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  I'm already married. What do you mean I want him to chug?

• 35:20Speaker 05

  I'm just saying, it's like, I feel like you're trying-

• 35:21Speaker 04

  What's projection? If there was like shrooms or weed, I'd do it. If you got that, I'll do it. I just forgot mine. I didn't think we'd be doing this. Cause I've been trying to get this guy to do a shroom pot forever. He won't do it.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Bring this guy an ounce of shrooms.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  I would do an ounce of shrooms, no fucking question. No fucking question.

• 35:36Speaker 05

  You would die. You would pass away. An ounce?

• 35:38Speaker 04

  An ounce is not that much.

• 35:40Speaker 05

  An ounce will get you-

• 35:41Speaker 04

  Oh, I was thinking a gram.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  No, I did an eighth one time.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  You sound like you've never done shrooms.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right.

• 35:49Speaker 05

  I fucking need an ounce for breakfast.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  I did a, I did an eighth one time. That was crazy.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Cheers, this motherfucker's beer.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  Nah, I'm gonna sip. I just don't wanna chug.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  Don't sip, you fucking homo, dude. Just drink the fucking beer.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  I'm not chugging. I'm not gonna shotgun a beer.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:03Speaker 05

  It's insane.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Shotgun, have you figured it out yet?

• 36:05Speaker 05

  I mean... Alright, now you're doing to do that.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  But no. I missed you guys.

• 36:14Speaker 05

  I missed you, brother.

• 36:15Speaker 04

  I know, we missed you.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  Dallas, Texas, born and raised superstar. You're from a street-

• 36:20Mark Gagnon?

  Why are you guys lying to each other right now?

• 36:21Speaker 04

  What? I'm from Dallas.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  No, but-

• 36:23Speaker 03

  We have to lie, bro.

• 36:24Mark Gagnon?

  And you didn't miss it?

• 36:25Speaker 03

  I did. I missed those eyes, bro.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  I miss this guy, dude.

• 36:29Speaker 05

  One sip of beer and starts just ruining the pot.

• 36:35Speaker 05

  I actually like that.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Alright, bro, you've said enough.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Back to quiet time.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  Nah, I miss this guy, dude.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  Every podcast I've been on since this one, I'm just comparing their eyes to your eyes.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  Nothing, nothing measures that, right?

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 36:47Speaker 04

  I know, dude. I know. I get it.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  What's your wife's name? I'm jealous that she gets to look into those eyes every morning.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Justeline.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Justeline?

• 36:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 03

  Dude, that's a, that's a pretty name.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  Hey, thanks, dude. What's your future wife's name?

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I don't know. It's probably gonna end up being.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  That's crazy. I share information and you don't share it back. That's fucked up. Y'all thought we were bonding just now.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  I mean, we are, but you gotta give me time, baby. He needs three more model.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  End of the pod. I need this girl's name. We can bleep it if you want.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  Can we just say her name is bleep and then just bleep that?

• 37:22Speaker 03

  That's funny. I like that. I like that, dude.

• 37:24Speaker 04

  I hate it.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Alright, let's keep.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  Maybe, maybe at the end of this beer, I don't know. I like, I like the situation I'm in.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Cause like, we get along, me and this girl.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  And I don't know if it'll ever happen, but I like that I at least got to like, talk to her for a while. You ever had one of those? That's romantic. Isn't that true? That feels like true love. That's true love.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  So has anything physical happened at all?

• 37:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  No.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Nothing physical.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Wow. You got a little tell when you lie.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 37:58Speaker 04

  You wipe your nose when you lie.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  Nah, I just, I just, I'm a coke head.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  I'm not, by the way. I don't, I gotta be careful. I don't know when to joke or not joke, cause then people in the comments will be like, you know he's not playing about that.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, you were saying that on, I was listening to your Club Shea Shea, and you were saying you get a little bit of like, comments about like, you're, the Mexican people being upset that you're XYZ, and to me, from the eyes, from macroscopic, it feels like it's so much love for you, which is great.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  Nah, there's a lot of love, yeah. But I've been trying not to read them in general. Cause like, good ones and bad, good comments and bad comments are, I feel like are bad for you.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, neither one of them is, it's, the truth is, yeah, not a real sign.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Why? How is the good comments bit? Because if you start to believe them too much, I feel like you can fuck up your own like, what do you call it, like your perception of yourself and like your work, I think.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  Additionally, I think if you believe the good comments, you kind of have to believe the bad. That's the thing, like y'all don't, y'all don't tell me good or bad if I'm, that's what I ideally. I try not to even look because you will, when you get a good one, you want to keep reading and then you see one bad one. You're like, maybe the next one will be good. And if it's also bad, you're, you know what I mean? You start spiraling, but like ideally, y'all don't decide whether I'm good or bad. That's not up to you. I decide that. I keep going. I keep doing my thing. I keep doing what I want to do.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  I don't feel like I decided for me though. I feel like it's just up to the audience that night that I perform in front of. I care about their.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  No, I know. I used to freak the fuck out whenever they didn't laugh. Any joke, I would start talking faster. I would whatever. And I realize this because I didn't think I was good enough or funny enough. So if they didn't laugh, I would be like, oh shit, they're finding out I'm a phony. And then I would, but then that makes you, you got a great comfort onstage. I didn't have that for a long time.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Oh, I, I, I feel like I got comfortable once I started headlining. Because I was so uncomfortable still, but like.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  So your don't tell, your don't tell, you're, let's say you're filming that. How was the taping of that?

• 39:57Speaker 03

  That was laid back. They really relaxed us right before.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  Okay. Cause you seem super.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  They gave us blow jobs.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  No, I'm kidding. No, I know. You get those on your. That's why it's called don't tell. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He gets those on his own.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  They, they really made us.

• 40:09Speaker 04

  Now just know that if you marry this girl, those don't really happen.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  I got you. You got to get engaged, but not married.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's the move, sweetie. Gang. Yeah.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  That's what you're doing? I like it been engaged.

• 40:23Mark Gagnon?

  Uh, about two years now.

• 40:24Speaker 04

  His girl, his girl is from Spain.

• 40:26Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  Actually, she's from Spain, bro. How you meet her? In Spain?

• 40:29Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, she moved here for work.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  Oh, nice. What does she do if you don't mind?

• 40:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, she did.

• 40:35Speaker 08

  Yes, sir.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  I don't know how I feel about that one.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  You're doing the work, dude.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  You see, you need to record a podcast. This is the guy. If you're doing your own podcast, or is a Roth Barbosa podcast, that's your mans.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  I had a, I was on a podcast. I was co-hosting the Fat Fish Podcast with my friend Jaime. But, I love Jaime. Yeah, Jaime's dope. He's like my funniest, I think he's the funniest dude ever. But I grew up with him, so my very biased opinion, you know?

• 41:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  But, yeah, we started a podcast together, but I stopped showing up to record.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Oh, because it's a lot. Doing a podcast is a lot. I didn't know how much of a commitment it is. I have commitment issues.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  So, yeah. Also.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  I'm gonna tell this girl.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Jaime goes to LA every week to tape for Tiger Belly. He's Bobby Lee's co-host. So while he's out there, he can reach out to more potential guests.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  And record while he's out there.

• 41:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  So I was like, you should just record Fat Fish out there with like other people. Because we're taping out of Dallas, so it was kind of hard to like catch people while they were in town, especially if I'm touring. So yeah, ups to you guys for like running a podcast.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Thanks, dude.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  How did Jaime get hooked up with Bobby? I took him with me when I did Bobby's podcast. Because me and Jaime were always Bobby Lee fans, but Jaime was definitely a bigger Bobby Lee fan than I was.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Bobby Lee's so funny. He's such a terrible person, but he's truly the biggest piece of shit I know. But he's so funny. I hate him, but he's so funny.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  My first time going to the Comedy Store, I walked into the main room just to peek. I forgot who I was waiting for. I was gonna do like a spot in the Belly Room. I think it was for like Netflix is a Joke's like new faces audition thing. And I went downstairs and I just peeked in a random door and it was for the main room. And Bobby was on stage and as soon as I peeked in the room, I thought he almost, I thought he pointed at me. But he pointed at somebody and he was like, you. He's like, because of something, something. He's like, now you get the pubes. And he like just pulled his pants down.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  He's done. He tried to show me his dick the whole podcast. I wouldn't, I didn't see it. I dodged it. And then I texted him because the guy had just fucking sobered up. I said, hey, man, I would check in on him every week. Hey, man, I hope you're doing okay. Just want to let you know I love you, blah, blah, blah. The man would send me his dick first time I checked in on him. Couldn't believe it.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  That, and? That's hilarious. I was.

• 42:56Speaker 04

  Asian. You can feel it in the rest. Figure out what the rest of it means.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 04

  But anyway, so you, okay, so you, I want to ask you, you're doing a Don't Tell, they relaxed you beforehand.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, they told us, they were like, hey, um, go out there, do whatever you want, it's your 10 minutes. If you want to do new material the whole time, do new material.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  If you only like a few minutes of it and you hate like eight minutes of it, which is upload what you like, like just go out there, have a good time.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  So I wrote a bunch of jokes on the bus ride over there and I was just like, fuck it, I'm gonna just do those jokes.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Bus ride from where to where?

• 43:29Speaker 03

  From, uh, I took a Greyhound from LA to, uh, San Diego.

• 43:34Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. So you, those are all new jokes? You've never done those?

• 43:37Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I did like, uh, maybe 60% new jokes.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Wow. And which of the jokes that blew up, which ones were new?

• 43:44Speaker 03

  Uh, like the first six-ish minutes.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 43:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I was kind of, I was kind of like, like, obviously I'm happy that it worked out, you know what I mean? But I was also mad because, um, I like touched the jokes up.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, they get better.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 04

  Every joke.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, right, yeah. So, so I like, I had like a good month and a half of doing like the better version of those jokes and like, I remember I got an applause break in Austin, and I was just like, bittersweet moment, cause I was like, this is it, like this is the last time.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  It's ready and you can't do it anymore. But then, what are you thinking as it's blowing up? We probably asked you this, but like, I'm always curious of thought process of people who blow up quickly. What does that feel like as it's all happening?

• 44:24Speaker 03

  Uh, feels cool, uh, money is cool.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  That's awesome.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  How, yeah, how does it feel for you?

• 44:31Speaker 04

  It didn't happen quickly for me, that's why I'm curious. It was a long road. So like Flagrant happened when I was doing comedy for like 10 years at that point or whatever, started. We didn't make any money the first year, I'm going broke. Then we started Patreon, I'm like, okay, I'm making a living. Then COVID, things start picking up. Then my stand-up really just started picking up in the last like two years in terms of people seeing it. Which is cool, cause I got, I felt like I got to grow for that time, kind of like without people knowing. Hearing Akash's like in the mud stories are some of the most, the harrowing things in your life, I mean. They're horrendous, yeah, yeah.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  What'd you have to do?

• 45:02Speaker 04

  Oh dude, if this podcast, if I was a guest on the podcast that you didn't have the commitment for, I would tell you all the stories.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  On Fat Fish, you wanna come on Fat Fish?

• 45:09Speaker 04

  I would love to come on Fat Fish, yeah, absolutely. Next time, I'm in LA, you, me, Jaime, beat the shit out of Bobby Lee.

• 45:18Speaker 04

  We gonna do Fat Fish.

• 45:19Speaker 05

  You and Bobby just need to fight, just, we need to do a pay-per-view.

• 45:22Speaker 04

  Or fuck.

• 45:23Speaker 05

  Or either one, either one.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  I can't betray Bobby, so I won't condone, nah, I'll condone it. You should, you should fight him and fuck him.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Nah, he wrestled in high school, I'm worried, I think I need help.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  You think he can still wrestle now?

• 45:35Speaker 04

  I don't know, dude.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  The guy, yeah, I know he looks young, the guy's like eighty.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  Bobby Lee's as angry as everybody thinks I am. Everybody thinks I'm really angry.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  You do have like, resting bitch face.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Like, you look like you just got done complaining at a restaurant.

• 45:54Speaker 05

  He loves complaining at restaurants, right? You nailed that.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  You know what, I love complaining after I leave the restaurant. But not to the people? I try not to cause a kerfuffle in there too often, I've done it once, twice, maybe.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  You say kerfuffle?

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, you go off at restaurants, for sure.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I be kerfuffle-ing, dude. Every once in a while.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  What do you kind of food you like?

• 46:14Speaker 04

  You know what, I've realized, I don't like, we come from Texas, everybody's good manners. If you're rude, I don't fucking handle it well.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't really like that either.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  That shit be setting me off.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  Yo, one time, uh, one time I went off on an old dude, I feel, I feel really bad, then I gave him a good tip, but he was being a fucking piece of shit, bro, like.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  What was he doing?

• 46:37Speaker 03

  I hadn't eaten in like twenty-four hours.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  That's his fault?

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Very much his fault.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  We had been, we were in LA and it was like, it was like the shows where Hulu was like, watching to see if they'd wanna give me money or not.

• 46:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, high pressure.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Lot of pressure, so like in between shows, a lot of industry would like go and talk to you, which I don't like, I get nervous, so I had a bunch of mushrooms, and uh...

• 47:01Speaker 04

  How much like an ounce?

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Uh, nah, two ounces.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  We ate, we ate maybe like two, three grams.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  And uh, I was tripping, this is some good shit, I'm not gonna lie, I was tripping pretty hard.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Uh, I stayed up. Didn't sleep at all. The next morning, I did Big Boy's Neighborhood. And then right after Big Boy's Neighborhood, because I don't live in L.A. and while I was in L.A., my agent and my manager wanted to have like a meeting.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  We do this meeting. So it's like fucking 3:00 P.M. the next day. It was like 24 hours since my last meal.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Fucking starving. I got a headache, hungover.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Right.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  And I go sit down at this restaurant and they sat me. Like, I didn't, I didn't just sit down at a random table. They sat me there. Fucking sit down. And I know what I want. I want the albóndigas, some meatballs and like a little soup, like a little stew, right?

• 47:53Speaker 04

  Last syllable's rough, but go ahead.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  So I sit down and the waiter comes and I tell him in Spanish. I said, I want a Diet Coke and some albóndigas, please. And he says, "I don't know how big of a party you have coming here, but I need this table by 5:00." And so I'm like, "All right, all right, maybe..."

• 48:15Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm, I'm up, I'm already ready. I'm ready. I'm getting ready.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  So I take, I take a second though, because I'm like, "Oh shit, maybe I'm an asshole for sitting here. Maybe there was like a mistake that they sat me here." What time is it? Is it almost 5:00, you know? So I checked my phone. It's 3:44. I will never forget the time. Because I, because as soon as I saw the time, I'm like, "This fucking piece of shit."

• 48:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  So I, I never yelled at a waiter or anybody in customer service ever in my life. And I just fucking yelled at him in Spanish. I told him, "I don't give a fuck who's coming here at 5:00. I'm here now. The faster you give me the food, the faster I get the fuck out," you know? Never done that before. And I, and I thought he was gonna punch me. Right after I was done saying it, I was like, "Ah, fucked up." This dude's about to beat my ass. But now he just said, "Okay." And I'm assuming he went and spit in my soup.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Right?

• 49:08Speaker 04

  He definitely did.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  But I was so hungry, I didn't even care anymore. I was like, "Fuck it."

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Do you think it's because you could tell you were kind of like from the farm country?

• 49:16Speaker 04

  You said it in a way that was like rednecky.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, he probably did. He thinks I'm like some Mexican fucking redneck.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. I had a whole 360-degree conflict within 30 seconds at the Kansas City Airport last Friday.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Kansas City?

• 49:30Speaker 04

  I'm getting off the flight.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  You're brave going off in Kansas City.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  I just want to buy, well, she was Latina. I just want to buy water.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, fuck.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck yeah. She ain't gonna be here that much longer anyway.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  But nah, I go buy a water. I go, it's, you know, some of the times like the food place has the water, little water on the side. So I grab a bottle of water.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  This Latino piece of shit.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  I'm talking to my friend loudly, we're just having a conversation. She got her back fully turned and she's on the TV screen. And I'm standing there like 10 seconds and I go, yo, can I get a water? And then she turns around, doesn't say a word, rings up the water and then doesn't say thank you, doesn't say okay. And then I go, just hi, that's all you gotta do, just say hi. And then I start walking off and she goes, I'm sorry, my English isn't too good. She tried to guilt me, this bitch. And I go, sounded pretty good there. And then she just goes, hey, yeah, you're right. So we had a full, we became, we didn't know each other, then we became enemies and then we were kinda homies by the end of it.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  I don't know. I don't think you guys ended up homies.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  Son, she said, yeah, you're right. I was like, oh yeah, she knows.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  You got me.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, you got me.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  For her, at least she like acknowledged this.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, just say hi, hello, that's it. What's so wrong with that?

• 50:46Speaker 03

  I guess so. Why do you need the hi though?

• 50:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, cuz we grew up in the south, the same rea- that guy didn't say anything that crazy to you.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  I don't need the hi though.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  If he had said, hey man, this is a lack of manners. If he had been like, hey man, just so you know, I got a big party coming at five, you think you'd be out by then? Be fine, right?

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, if he would've told me more polite.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  Manners, be polite.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  The thing is, it was Mexican on Mexican crime.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  That's what this was, Mexican on look like Mexican crime.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  No, you don't look Mexican.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  Oh, you sure?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  I don't think you look Mexican.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  You know, when I was, when I was younger, I was like lighter, I had tanned up as I got older. And everybody thought I was Mexican in Texas.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  For real?

• 51:18Speaker 04

  In Dallas, my middle, my middle school principal, I swear to you, saw me multiple times and would just go, hola amigo.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  I get that sometimes when people, like sometimes Mexicans think I'm, uh, they're like, eres arabe?

• 51:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I can see that.

• 51:31Speaker 05

  Do you mind if I fact check this real quick?

• 51:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:34Speaker 05

  Cause I recently saw an image of you.

• 51:37Speaker 04

  That's me at 18, yo.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  Do you think this is like a little nosable here?

• 51:40Speaker 03

  You look Puerto Rican, bro.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Yeah. I told you, yo.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:44Speaker 04

  They don't know the difference, white folks.

• 51:45Speaker 05

  Oh, keep that at home, bring that back immediately, this is unbelievable.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  Son, I get, I'm uglier, this is me in less ugly than I was when I was.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  You're 18.

• 51:53Speaker 04

  Right there, look at you. Huh? I was 18. Have you seen my middle school pictures? I posted them. Can you send that to me?

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Are you doing like the ditty lips, like the?

• 52:02Speaker 04

  Son, this is a, this is, we were just laughing at this.

• 52:05Speaker 05

  You were mouth breathing in your.

• 52:08Speaker 04

  We were just laughing at this. Uh, my, my best friend and I will laugh at this all the time, what I used to look like. And my brother used to tell me I looked rich, I looked gay when I smiled or something. So I wouldn't smile and I just looked retarded.

• 52:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, this looks a little bit like, like Shark Tales. You ever see that?

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Ah, you look good, bro.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  How you have an Afro though? Like, your hair changed. Yo, black people used to love my hair, dude. They'd always be like, let me braid that shit. But your shit don't fuck.

• 52:36Speaker 05

  Is it not a shark tail?

• 52:37Speaker 04

  How about that? How about that guy? Oh, man. That guy.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  That's rough.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  That guy's sex. Miles, I'm gonna text you this. I think you guys have seen this picture. You had to have. Son, my sixth grade year old picture, I swear to God, I look like I could potentially be, have like, uh, you know, some kind of developmental thing. But I looked fully retarded in my sixth grade picture. No, no, I can look like I could be. Sixth grade, fully retarded. This is, it's wor- it gets worse than this. This is eighth grade, I think.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  That's a picture that, that's a, that's a picture that's so bad, your parents would like hate you for it.

• 53:05Speaker 04

  Hey, you guys from Goonies.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  I never saw.

• 53:07Speaker 05

  I was looking at this picture. Do you get your dad's point a little?

• 53:11Speaker 05

  If I was your dad, I would hate you for that picture, bro.

• 53:14Speaker 04

  No, my dad never hit me. That's probably why I look like that. I didn't get hit. My brother got hit.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  You needed to get hit after that one.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  Yo, don't look like, hey, you guys?

• 53:25Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 53:25Speaker 04

  God damn.

• 53:26Speaker 05

  I mean, the head tilt.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  You leveled up, bro.

• 53:29Speaker 05

  So did you think you smiled gay even at this age?

• 53:31Speaker 04

  I knew it looked bad, but I didn't know how to, I didn't know I could just smile. My brother had me so in my head about it.

• 53:36Speaker 05

  That is an awful thing to put in someone's head.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  It's fucked, dude.

• 53:39Speaker 05

  Hey, hey, your smile, like when you're like being agreeable and charming?

• 53:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:42Speaker 05

  Everyone hates that.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, but he said gay and back then, that was like the war shit.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  It was like Nazi.

• 53:50Speaker 05

  You were like, oh, no, no, no. You smile like a Nazi, bro.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's so, I think about someone telling a kid that, he not gonna smile?

• 53:57Speaker 05

  I mean, nowadays, maybe. You know what I mean? It's not a resurgence.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  What year were you in the sixth grade?

• 54:03Speaker 04

  Sixth grade is worse. That was, uh, I can't find that picture. This is eighth grade. I was 14.

• 54:08Speaker 03

  You were 14?

• 54:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  What year is that?

• 54:10Speaker 04

  1998. I'm born in 84.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  Oh, shit. Oh, I thought maybe we'd run into each other somewhere along the way, but.

• 54:16Speaker 04

  No, never. You're too young, dude.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like two. Unless you were into weird shit, I don't know.

• 54:21Speaker 05

  So you've been Mexican, black, and Indian. Which one is your favorite of all the races that you've been?

• 54:28Speaker 04

  I like Indian, but that's because I have the most money as an Indian. It actually really tracks socioeconomically. Like when I looked black, I was broke. I had nothing.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  But you were flexing a little bit, and then when you were Mexican, you were just, you know, you were just here, happy to be here.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Happy to be here, dude. Happy to be here, ready to eat in the backyard somewhere, go have a party.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  Food tastes better in backyards, it's been scientifically proven.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  I believe that. Well, you know, Indians say food tastes better with your hands, because we eat with our hands.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  They say scientifically proven.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  It don't taste on plastic, it doesn't, uh, emanate the flavor.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying, white folks, y'all are worried about plastics.

• 55:00Speaker 05

  Knees together, paper plate, that's the best meal. That shit slaps.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  You're just like that, trying not to drop it.

• 55:06Speaker 05

  That's the ideal meal.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Enjoy it most.

• 55:07Speaker 05

  And now, bro, you're going to the Hamptons, you're gonna be fully white.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  I've, I've done it all.

• 55:11Speaker 05

  You're really going through the whole thing.

• 55:13Speaker 03

  If you go to the Hamptons, do you think people will assume you're in the medical field, like if they don't know that you do comedy?

• 55:19Speaker 04

  The, my favorite thing about the Hamptons, nobody talks to me. It's been great, I really love that.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  I wanna go to the Hamptons.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  It's fire. I didn't think I'd like it. I didn't do all the shit that, I didn't go, I just liked being away from all of it.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  What's Hampton shit?

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Like, they go out. Well, you guys did more than I did, probably. You guys been there a couple times. They go out, they party, they do whatever, they're on yachts. I didn't get on a fucking boat.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  You've never been on a boat?

• 55:38Speaker 04

  I've been on a boat.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  You, yeah?

• 55:40Speaker 04

  I ain't love it.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  Little boat, big boat.

• 55:44Speaker 05

  He don't really like hoes, so.

• 55:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I'm not for the hoes.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Not into hoes?

• 55:47Speaker 04

  Nah, I'm a one hoe human.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Why you do that to your wife?

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Hey, I love that bitch more than anything on earth. She knows, she knows what it is.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  I respect that.

• 55:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm, I'm like, I'm very in love, so I get away with a little, like, saying bitch and whatever the fuck.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  That's cool. That means your wife has a lot of trust in you too, if you get to say this stuff, you know?

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Because I'm so gay, I don't think, so she's like, she didn't even worry about it.

• 56:10Speaker 05

  That's right, you've also been gay. You've done all the races.

• 56:13Speaker 04

  Yeah. I've done it all. Al's gay now.

• 56:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. A boat really is everything you hate, now I'm thinking about it. Like, you like to be in your home.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 56:22Speaker 05

  And a boat is the exact opposite, you're not even on the earth.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 05

  And on top of that, you're stuck.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:29Speaker 05

  And people are drinking and listening to loud music.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Ay, ay, ay, ay.

• 56:32Speaker 05

  And...

• 56:33Speaker 03

  You don't like loud music, bro?

• 56:36Speaker 04

  I like it in small doses. I'm an old man, dude.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  You just put the like full blast for like 30 seconds?

• 56:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly. Nah, I went on a boat actually in Miami, small boat, small boat.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Small boat.

• 56:47Speaker 04

  It was fun. It was just like me and a few homies, that's it, and then wifey, and that's it. And we did shrooms.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Oh, nice.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  A gram. A gram is what I thought I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was great. It was great. That was fire.

• 56:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, I guess I've always heard mushrooms with water is a good pairing.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  For real?

• 57:03Speaker 05

  Like mushrooms and like being at the beach looking at the ocean.

• 57:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've done that too in Hawaii. That shit was sick.

• 57:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, people have said that.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  I gotta try that. I haven't done mushrooms in a while because the last few trips where I did them, I started hearing voices. But I don't know if it was maybe I was just like exhausted, like I needed sleep already. Because it was like. Take a break from that shit.

• 57:20Speaker 04

  I think, yeah. Yeah, I think take a break from everything.

• 57:23Speaker 05

  What kind of voices? It depends.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Um, couple times whispers.

• 57:26Speaker 05

  Asian accent?

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Couple times yelling.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  I kept hearing Bobby Lee.

• 57:32Speaker 05

  I would keep doing mushrooms, bro. If I just had a full feed, just an Asian accent, I'd be like, dude, this is fire.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  One time I ate like a shit though, like, man, like it had to be like eight grams maybe. And I kept blacking out. And then I would hear voices so clear that I was like yelling at them. But it was just like me, like other versions of me. I felt like I was arguing with like three versions of myself.

• 57:53Speaker 04

  What were they saying?

• 57:54Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Um, one of them was saying like, call 911. And the other one was like, shut the fuck up, like, don't, like, don't be a little bitch. And then I was just like, fuck, like, I'm just on drugs, like, I just, time, time will save me, like, time.

• 58:10Speaker 05

  This feels like a very calm argument. If it's three versions of you. I feel like it's just you like, yo, bro.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  But it was just like fast. It was like, call 911. It was like, no, no, no. And I was like, it's time. And they're like, no, call 911. And it's like, and then, uh, I would dial like 91 and then I would hang up the phone and be like, nah, don't do it.

• 58:26Speaker 05

  Holy shit.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  You ever done so many mushrooms that like your body goes paralyzed?

• 58:30Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  I've had that like maybe three times. Where like I'm talking and then as I'm talking, I hear my voice turn into like slow motion. So it'll be like, oh, like, like it's like a record.

• 58:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:43Speaker 03

  And I'm like, what the fuck? And I was holding my phone and then all of a sudden I just dropped it and I just like fell to the ground.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  And then a couple of times when I have.

• 58:51Speaker 05

  Wait, but after the first time that happened, that didn't stop you from, hey, let me not do that much again?

• 58:56Speaker 03

  Nah, I was just laughing. But the one, one time that it happened, like I did that and then I blacked out. And then I woke up. And then I ran around the hotel for a while. And then I blacked out again. It was bad. It was just a lot of bad shit.

• 59:14Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  That wasn't even my last time doing them. The next week I was like, I could get it right this time.

• 59:20Speaker 03

  The next week is crazy.

• 59:22Speaker 05

  That's the problem when you're into drugs, but also competitive. You know what I mean? That's a bad combo.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  Cause you don't wanna like, it's like an ego thing. Like I don't wanna just take the loss. I wanna be like, nah, I'm good on it.

• 59:31Speaker 05

  That's how you know you need more mushrooms to get the ego death. Cause you're just getting enough mushrooms that your ego's still intact.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  You need to do 12 grams. People say ego death, but I feel like mushrooms like did the opposite of what everybody says it does. Which I love, by the way. Maybe it was like a cure for me. But like, I feel like mushrooms got me out of my feelings.

• 59:49Speaker 05

  It got me stimulated. I was having a good time. You are a cokehead. I think you did cocaine. I think that's what happened.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  I feel like after mushrooms, it's always been easier to like submerge all my feelings. To like, just, just shove them in a box? Shove them in a fucking box. Mushrooms helped me lock that shit up.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  You're the, you're the type of dude who come back from therapy and be like, bro, I am so much angrier.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  I am. I, I signed up for a therapy session one time and I got in the car and I was like, fuck am I doing? And I just, I just didn't even like call to cancel or nothing. I just went back inside.

• 1:00:24Speaker 05

  Bro, this isn't a podcast. You can't just not show up. You know what I mean? This is a fat fish.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  That's crazy. The, the therapist lady that I, uh, I ended up messaging her later to be like, hey, I'm sorry I didn't show up. And, uh, you know, charge me, whatever you gotta charge me. And this is like a year ago and she messaged me like three days ago. She's like, Vera need help. I'm still here. She's seen some podcasts.

• 1:00:48Speaker 05

  You heard about this boat? She was like, yeah, yeah, let's talk.

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  Here's the thing that everybody says about therapy, though, is that it's not like this cure thing. It's more like, kinda like medicine, where like, you kinda, you go and you let it out, and then they talk to you and help you feel better, but it's not like this instant, like, oh, you're good. It's like a dentist. Like a dentist, right?

• 1:01:09Speaker 05

  You go get kinda tuned up, cleaned up.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  My cousin's psychiatrist, he said, you get out of it what you put into it. Like, you gotta, you can't just go and bitch about everybody and then leave and not think about it. You gotta, like, think things through when you're outside of therapy and, like, just really keep it on your mind and then you'll start to work through all this shit.

• 1:01:24Speaker 05

  Angie, you're a good therapist. My therapist, I went one time and this motherfucker was annoying. I sat down, he was like, by the way, I'm gonna need this couch back by 5 o'clock. I was like, this motherfucker? What the fuck? I just, I sat down one minute ago.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  I just feel like alcohol is good enough.

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's go. It is like therapy too, you know? You feel better for a little bit, and then next week, you come back, talk about it again, and you work it out.

• 1:01:48Speaker 05

  That's real Latino shit, right? I love Southerners, bro, this shit is fire.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  This ain't Southern, this is immigrant shit.

• 1:01:56Speaker 04

  I went to therapy, my mom was like, don't tell anybody.

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  She was like, you don't need it, you're not crazy.

• 1:02:03Speaker 05

  She was just embarrassed you were around a fake doctor, that's what it was. She's like, I don't want you talking to me.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  I think it also has to do with, like, just childhood trauma, like, crazy shit would happen as a kid, and then, like, my mom, or like, my grandma, or whoever, it happened in front of my dad or whatever, they'd just be like, hey, don't tell anybody, like, that such and such hit you or nothing, like, just get over it.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  And I'd be like, alright.

• 1:02:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, my mom wouldn't say get over it, but she would say, they could use it against you. And I was like, what? We're in the fucking soap opera here.

• 1:02:31Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 1:02:32Speaker 04

  This is not Succession.

• 1:02:33Speaker 05

  Everything is just like a big-

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  I'm 13 years old.

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  A big drama. You know what I mean?

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  Oh, a big drama.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  Big drama.

• 1:02:38Speaker 04

  But yeah, but you saw a lot of crazy shit when you were growing up, right? Your family in the cartel, we talked about that last time.

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I saw some crazy shit. It's just the shit that they would really not want me to talk about was just like, like, if my cousin kicked my ass. And be like, don't go telling everybody, alright, because then they're gonna think we're dysfunctional. And I was like, we are. Getting my ass kicked over here, like.

• 1:03:00Speaker 05

  And you caught an L, you don't want that on your record, you know what I mean? That you're 0-3 against your cousin?

• 1:03:04Speaker 03

  Nah, I'll tell them, I'll tell everybody, I was a big old, I'll tell everybody. Yeah, but you said on Shea Shea that you were fighting people much bigger than you. And you can, now you box, you like legit box, right? Nah, I did that for a little bit, but nah, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't really like stick to it too often. But you said when you fought people your size, you'd fuck them up. Yeah, I got a lot of ass whoopings from bigger people, but it made me better. So, yeah, I fought a dude. He said they had a thing. The in-between, where'd you go, Mesquite High School or East Mesquite? No, no, no, so this was in middle school, this was advanced in middle. Three minutes between classes, him and his boys would have Fight Club for two minutes of the three. So two minutes, they just run, you just punching the fuck out of each other? Yeah, we'd just run into the restroom and then just be like, uh, who, like you and you, alright, fuck it, let's go.

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  And then just fight, one time, somebody brought. And then you get back to class. But we, we, we tried to do like, hey, don't hit in the face, you know, but then you'd like slip up. One time somebody brought UFC gloves.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  And, uh, but they just, they just had one pair, so like one person had like a hand each. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:05Speaker 05

  That's kinda, that's nice.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  But somebody had to be lefty, you know? Yeah, yeah. That shit was fun. Fight, I don't know, fighting is fun. I think like as an adult, you know, you gotta be more careful, because now you're like grown man strength. But I think as an adult, every adult needs to get punched at least like twice a year.

• 1:04:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's a little too much.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Okay, maybe once a year. But in a play, you know, you could literally die. Well, yeah, maybe not like a fucking, you don't need like Mike Tyson to punch you, but somebody with like equalish strength needs to just remind you what that feels like.

• 1:04:35Speaker 05

  Can you punch back in this scenario?

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think like, like, we don't gotta do a whole purge. I think the world would be a better place if at least once a year, you go in for like a checkup and it's you and one other guy and you just, I get one punch on you and you get one punch on me.

• 1:04:49Speaker 05

  It's like taxes, like every year you just have to do it.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 05

  And you show up.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  Chin, gotta be chin. You gotta remember what it's like to just fucking take one to the face. And it probably also feel good to just punch somebody. That way, when somebody walks into the. The store you work at, you're not ignoring them when they're asking you for water. This guy might punch me.

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  I better fucking treat him with respect.

• 1:05:09Speaker 04

  Pretend you don't speak English, try to white guilt them. I ain't got no white guilt, lady. That ain't me. I couldn't believe she tried that shit. Oh, I'm sorry, my English is not so good.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  I almost spun again, but I was afraid you'd get let me.

• 1:05:19Speaker 04

  Nah, nah, I noticed it. You've been doing it. You haven't stopped. I want you to know that you haven't stopped.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  I think I stopped.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  He thinks he's on the boat again.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  I cut back, bro.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  No, no. It's been going.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Have a drink, you'll relax.

• 1:05:34Speaker 05

  I'm so glad I've never been in a fight. I've never like, I've been involved in fights, but I've never been in a fight. No one's ever been like, now we're fighting.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  I used to think that it was like a flex to be like, yeah, I've been in fights. That's a bigger flex, though. So I've never been in a fight. This guy just always keeps it cool.

• 1:05:51Speaker 05

  Well, I feel kinda like a pussy. But I've always like defused, people have wanted to fight me. And then I'd be like, yo, what is the point of all this?

• 1:05:57Mark Gagnon?

  People take advantage of him, though.

• 1:05:58Speaker 04

  He's very, no, he takes advantage of people. What are you talking about? This guy's a fucking sociopath.

• 1:06:02Mark Gagnon?

  Remember the time he was waiting for this fucking locksmith for like six hours or some shit like that? And the guy made him pay or some shit like that?

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, like, yeah, like, he'll get fucked over like that. But like with his friends, he like, he uses the fuck out of Miles and Miles just doesn't say anything about it.

• 1:06:15Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  Kick this guy's ass, Miles. He has no experience.

• 1:06:17Speaker 05

  We've both, we've both never been in fights, so it's sorta.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  Wow, so it's a good match.

• 1:06:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, we could be.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  We gotta put on, we gotta put on this Mark versus Miles fight.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  I would actually love that for Patreon.

• 1:06:27Speaker 05

  That could be beautiful.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  We got 12 weeks.

• 1:06:28Speaker 05

  Gloves and headgear in a boxing ring? We would absolutely WWE it and the whole thing would be scripted. We would just do the fucking moves. It'd be like luchadores.

• 1:06:37Mark Gagnon?

  No, you gotta fight.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  Fight for real. Do the gear, just do the gear. Headgear.

• 1:06:41Speaker 05

  But like, I-

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  Don't do gloves.

• 1:06:43Speaker 05

  Let's just talk about it. You know what I mean? You don't think we could just settle this? Like, I feel like this is just a big miscommunication. You know what I mean? Anytime someone's trying to fight me, it's just like, hey, let's just, you know.

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  You're gonna murder somebody. I was on Joe Rogan's podcast yesterday.

• 1:06:57Speaker 04

  We get it, bro. Second time you said it.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  Every time I, every time he brought up somebody that I didn't know, I could see it in his face. He's just like, what the fuck? Wait, like who though? I don't know. He brought up like, uh, well, I was reading this book that he had in, in like the lobby of like his studio. And, and I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I didn't know who Hunter S. Thompson was. And I was reading a Hunter S. Thompson book and I fucking loved it.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  And I was just like.

• 1:07:28Speaker 04

  That's honestly kind of your life right now.

• 1:07:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  Just traveling and doing crazy drugs.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  Crazy drugs.

• 1:07:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  Fear and loathing.

• 1:07:34Speaker 04

  Fear and loathing, yeah.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  I was like, hey man, is, uh, Hunter S. Thompson a dude or a chick? And he was just like, he was just like, huh?

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  That's not a bad question. The question is kind of bad.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  Here's the thing.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  Not knowing isn't bad.

• 1:07:52Speaker 04

  Joe is from Boston. Boston, we see as like the whitest place. I've had a feeling Ralph grew up super Mexican, super Latino, Hispanic, whatever. There's just not, they're not gonna know about Hunter S. Thompson.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:06Speaker 04

  He's probably not gonna know about some Mexican shit.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  But it's just funny watching, I guarantee you there'd be people Joe didn't know, that Ralph would be like, are you fucking kidding me?

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  Yeah. Be like, you don't know Eugenio Derbez? You don't know Chente? Yeah, but to be fair, I mean, I don't have any books of Chente. But yeah, and then there was other people that'll be like, what's going on there? And he's just be like, huh, like you don't know? But it's cool. I just feel kind of bad that like so many people go on these podcasts and they share all this knowledge they have. And I kind of just go on these podcasts and like gather the knowledge. If you listen to like these podcasts that I'm on, a lot of the time I'm just gathering information.

• 1:08:45Speaker 04

  What have you learned so far? What'd you learn from Shannon?

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  From Shannon?

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  Stay away from white women?

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 04

  Be careful with that, yo.

• 1:08:55Speaker 03

  Let your team gather all the information, you know? I think that word, I feel like all his team gathered information on me.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  Oh, for his episode, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much you think he actually knew about you?

• 1:09:06Speaker 03

  Oh, that I'm Mexican.

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  I mean, that's a start, you know what I mean? Yeah.

• 1:09:12Mark Gagnon?

  Do you think he knew who you were? Cause I feel like he interviews people and he doesn't know who that is.

• 1:09:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I see, I think he's saying.

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  I don't think he knew, but I think he's like a good interviewer, cause it made me feel like comfortable and stuff. He's so friendly, yeah, that's what it seems like.

• 1:09:26Speaker 04

  Very affable guy.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was very friendly. He was very friendly like before we started the interview, so I was just like, alright, I feel comfortable with him.

• 1:09:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:32Speaker 03

  But I'm, I get nervous too, cause like, people who are really good at interviewing, that's like a specialty of theirs, they give you comfortable, and then like, boom, next thing you know, you're saying the name of the woman you love.

• 1:09:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:44Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:09:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  I gotta stay on my toes.

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  That's, that's, so if you wanna validate me as a good interviewer, you'll let that name out?

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  You're a pretty good interviewer, but nah. Nah, you know, Shannon.

• 1:09:55Speaker 04

  Yo, if you had said her name on Club Shea Shea, or their name, I'm sorry, if you had said that human being's name on Club Shea Shea, that would have been big.

• 1:10:01Speaker 03

  Nobody's like, asked me about my love life like that. I mean, I think on Club Shea Shea, he asked me like, a little bit about Asia or something.

• 1:10:08Speaker 04

  That's a sensitive subject for him right now, but for me, for me, I'm fascinated by it. I love knowing, especially with comics. He asked about that. He said, you know, it's hard to find love, cause you know, you're traveling so much.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  I always find it interesting when comics date other comics. I feel like they're comics with like, they're either like really good mental health, or really poor mental health.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:32Speaker 03

  No in-between.

• 1:10:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I'm gonna be honest, the first group that you mentioned, not many of those.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  Very few.

• 1:10:38Speaker 04

  Very, very few.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  I'm not one of them, so.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  You ain't married a comic?

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  I wanna marry somebody, I don't know if I wanna get married, but I wanna be with somebody who's like, very different of me.

• 1:10:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:51Speaker 03

  I feel like it's way more interesting like that.

• 1:10:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, I don't, I want her to not like comedy at all.

• 1:10:57Speaker 04

  Hey, that will happen. Don't worry. I remember my first time dating my wife, I was asking like, you wanna come to shows, and I was like, you're gonna get, she kept wanting to come, I was like, you're gonna get tired of this, and she was like, no, that can never happen. And then, like, eight years later, I asked her, I said, hey, do you wanna come to this show, and she goes, literally, I would rather do anything else.

• 1:11:17Speaker 03

  That's cool when somebody can be honest with you about that shit.

• 1:11:19Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:20Mark Gagnon?

  That's how my girl was from the jump. I used to drag her to open mics.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  I don't really like women.

• 1:11:23Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, I'm trying, I'm trying.

• 1:11:25Speaker 05

  Just because I don't fight, alright? Doesn't mean I won't fight a woman.

• 1:11:28Mark Gagnon?

  That's a stupid joke.

• 1:11:29Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, that's a dumbass.

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  He was sitting on that for an hour.

• 1:11:33Speaker 05

  He's about to sit on something else.

• 1:11:37Mark Gagnon?

  This guy's gay.

• 1:11:39Speaker 05

  But I would drag her to open mics and she'd be like, "I don't like this." And I was like, "Yeah, well, we get to hang out." You know what I mean? You can like hang and I'll do the spot and it's cool. And she goes, "I don't want, I would rather not see you."

• 1:11:50Mark Gagnon?

  Holy shit.

• 1:11:51Speaker 05

  She was like, "I'd rather stay at the house and then you just see me whenever you're done."

• 1:11:53Speaker 04

  She's right. She was right about that.

• 1:11:55Speaker 05

  And even to this day, I will just talk to her about anything and it's so hard to even get into the convo. Cause she's like, "You know, what's going on?" I'm like, "Well, there's this crazy thing happening with this current event and we're trying to figure it out." And she's like, "And who is that guy?" Like, straight up, she was just like, "Who is Netanyahu?"

• 1:12:12Speaker 05

  And I was like, "What's funny you ask?" And then like, she doesn't know anything. And so I just like break down shit and she's like-

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:12:17Speaker 05

  She's like, "That's crazy."

• 1:12:18Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:12:18Mark Gagnon?

  My Shawnee's exactly like that.

• 1:12:20Speaker 05

  It's remarkable.

• 1:12:21Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, she has no idea what the fuck is going on.

• 1:12:23Speaker 04

  That's awesome.

• 1:12:23Mark Gagnon?

  And she's so happy.

• 1:12:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, right? Like, every guest, she's like, "What do they do?"

• 1:12:28Speaker 03

  I'm disappointed in myself that I relate more to y'all's girlfriends. I also don't know what's going on half the time.

• 1:12:36Speaker 04

  Good, dude.

• 1:12:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, you'd make a good girlfriend.

• 1:12:39Speaker 03

  I think I would make a good girlfriend. If I go to prison, I'd be alright.

• 1:12:44Speaker 05

  Damn. That scares me, bro. I went to a prison recently.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  For what?

• 1:12:48Speaker 05

  Just to go check it out.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  What do you mean? What do you do for fun, bro?

• 1:12:53Speaker 05

  Honestly, this kinda shit-

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Prison tours?

• 1:12:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  You just like emailing?

• 1:12:57Speaker 04

  Can I, can he tell you the real, he went with Jelly Roll. You know Jelly Roll?

• 1:13:00Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, I know Jelly Roll.

• 1:13:01Speaker 05

  Yeah. So I was with Jelly Roll in Portland. He was like, "Yo, I'm going to do a concert for the inmates."

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  Jelly Roll's like a real, he's-

• 1:13:08Speaker 05

  Cause he was in prison for some time.

• 1:13:09Speaker 04

  He's a fucking great guy, dude. He'll go perform at prisons, cause he was incarcerated.

• 1:13:12Speaker 03

  I didn't know he'd perform at prisons. I've met him once.

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  He don't talk about it.

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  With Burt Kreischer.

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  He will never talk about that publicly. He'll just do it. That's the kinda guy.

• 1:13:18Speaker 05

  He doesn't get paid for it, he just goes. And like, you would think like, "Oh, well, this is like a thing the prisons do." When he went to the prison, no one had ever performed any type of live act there since like 1994.

• 1:13:29Mark Gagnon?

  Wow.

• 1:13:30Speaker 05

  Stevie Ray Vaughan went to this prison and he was the next person that went-

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  I love Stevie Ray Vaughan.

• 1:13:33Speaker 05

  He was the last one to do it, like 25 years ago. And so Jelly Roll went and then he went back like two years later and that's when I was there and he was like, "Yo, you wanna go?"

• 1:13:41Speaker 03

  What kinda prison is this, though?

• 1:13:42Speaker 05

  This is a Max. So like people in there for life.

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  Oh shit.

• 1:13:46Speaker 05

  Crazy.

• 1:13:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:47Speaker 05

  And so.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  And shit.

• 1:13:49Speaker 05

  Say again.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  Like a lot of murders and shit.

• 1:13:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And uh, great group of guys.

• 1:13:54Mark Gagnon?

  You were going to do comedy, right?

• 1:13:55Speaker 05

  No, Jalen really wanted me to. He was like, yo, will you open the show, do five minutes?

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 1:14:00Speaker 05

  I was stressing and he was like, yeah, just come. And I was like, I'd rather just go check it out. He's like, no, no, go.

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  That's thousand percent what I would do.

• 1:14:06Speaker 05

  I was like, I don't know.

• 1:14:07Speaker 03

  Bro, you gotta do it just to fucking.

• 1:14:09Speaker 05

  Just for the reps?

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  Bro, just to, just to try it out.

• 1:14:12Speaker 05

  Just the workshops and stuff?

• 1:14:13Speaker 03

  When's the last time these guys had somebody like?

• 1:14:15Speaker 05

  Bomb in front of them?

• 1:14:16Speaker 03

  No, but when's the last time somebody could just be vulnerable in a prison?

• 1:14:21Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 1:14:21Speaker 03

  They need that shit. I think, I don't know.

• 1:14:24Speaker 05

  I don't know what I could say. I'm going through my jokes. I'm like, I was gonna do crowd work. I'm like, what do you do? Alright.

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  What did you used to do? What do you wanna do?

• 1:14:32Mark Gagnon?

  What did you do to get in here? Get some fun with that. You would've got punched in the face for the first time.

• 1:14:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, probably.

• 1:14:37Speaker 03

  Probably, yeah.

• 1:14:38Speaker 05

  I was stressing. I was like, okay, opening joke, I might just be like, hey guys, I want you to know, I'm not gonna pander to any motherfuckers.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  Jeff Ross, didn't he go and like fucking roast prisoners one time?

• 1:14:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think so.

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  They fucking loved it.

• 1:14:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  He's alive, you know?

• 1:14:49Speaker 05

  But I was so stressed, but then the second we got there, apparently like the prison's run by a union and the union boss of the prison or something, I don't know how the hierarchy is, but they were like, yeah, we can't do anything like off script. So like.

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  Just stick to the fucking music.

• 1:15:01Speaker 05

  So they were like, music on.

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• 1:17:43Speaker 06

  I feel like I'm similar to you, except for I have less money. I'm on Facebook Marketplace all the time.

• 1:17:47Speaker 08

  What do you like to buy?

• 1:17:48Speaker 06

  Looking at fucking clappers and shitholes and whatever I want, but I... Son, the second you talk to him, he checked his cellphone. You know how rude that is?

• 1:17:54Speaker 08

  I'm sorry.

• 1:17:55Speaker 06

  He's blowing, bro, my phone is blowing up. Whoa, you bought it? I got a couple images here. I want to know what you would pick and why in this situation.

• 1:18:02Speaker 08

  Catfish Camaro. Catfish Camaro kicks ass.

• 1:18:06Speaker 04

  Why is that called a catfish Camaro?

• 1:18:08Speaker 03

  Cause the front looks like a catfish.

• 1:18:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:18:11Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:18:11Speaker 06

  The front of it. But why the Camaro? Is it something you just like Chevy?

• 1:18:16Speaker 03

  I like Chevy a little more than Ford most of the time.

• 1:18:19Speaker 06

  Why do all Mexicans like Chevy? That's a question I need to know.

• 1:18:23Speaker 03

  I don't know, bro.

• 1:18:24Speaker 04

  He was, you know, he pulled this up with that exact question in mind.

• 1:18:26Speaker 06

  Well, why?

• 1:18:27Speaker 04

  Why do Mexicans like Chevy? He had you pick these two.

• 1:18:29Speaker 03

  It was a citizenship test.

• 1:18:30Speaker 06

  It was.

• 1:18:32Speaker 03

  They're actually both Mustangs, but I see the Camaro.

• 1:18:37Speaker 06

  But why is that?

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:18:39Speaker 06

  Every Mexican I knew wanted a Silverado.

• 1:18:41Speaker 03

  I know a lot of Mexicans who like Fords.

• 1:18:43Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:18:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:44Speaker 06

  I feel like a Silverado is all the time.

• 1:18:45Speaker 03

  I think the best truck you could buy right now is an F-150. From, like 90's F-150's are like fucking beautiful, don't get me wrong. But like the best performing truck you could get is from 20, it's like 2018 to now. They have single cab F-150 with the 5.0.

• 1:19:07Speaker 06

  I mean, single cabs are dead. 5.0 is about to be dead, so makes a lot of sense.

• 1:19:10Speaker 03

  Those trucks are like the fastest trucks out there right now.

• 1:19:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're fire.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  They call them Mexican GTRs.

• 1:19:15Speaker 06

  That's very funny.

• 1:19:17Speaker 03

  I don't know about like every state, but like in a lot of, you see it a lot in Texas. They fucking tune those and they're just twin, a twin turbo, single cab F-150 with a 5.0 is like.

• 1:19:28Speaker 06

  Rear wheel drive, they rip.

• 1:19:30Speaker 03

  They're all wheel drive.

• 1:19:31Speaker 06

  Oh, really?

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:32Speaker 06

  Damn.

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  So like against other trucks, like they're undefeated.

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  Can you explain slab riding? Like, why do people like slabs?

• 1:19:39Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know. I guess it's more like a Houston thing than like Texas thing. I guess they're just loud music, it looks nice. But they, they do it to cars that look good, but are usually slow. So I don't, I think they just stuck to like, well, let's just keep it slow then, you know? It's a style to it.

• 1:19:55Speaker 04

  You fuck with Houston more or Dallas more?

• 1:19:57Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm from Dallas, man. Dallas is my hometown.

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  Same, but.

• 1:19:59Speaker 03

  Houston is fun. Houston sells my shows out quicker than Dallas.

• 1:20:04Speaker 04

  I have the same.

• 1:20:04Speaker 03

  You too?

• 1:20:05Speaker 04

  Same.

• 1:20:06Speaker 06

  That's crazy.

• 1:20:06Speaker 04

  That's why both of my specials, the first one was like 20 minutes, but I filmed both in Houston. Like I have things in Houston.

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  I almost filmed my, my last one in Houston.

• 1:20:14Speaker 04

  Done. I don't understand it. I feel like in general, I don't know about the Latino culture, but I vibe better with Houston people. They seem a little more down to earth. But I'm talking like Indian, white people, black people, like, yeah, I just vibe better with them, it seems like.

• 1:20:26Speaker 03

  Maybe. I feel like, uh. My next special, I'll probably do like Houston or Chicago. Those two cities, I don't know, man. They show a lot of love.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 1:20:34Speaker 03

  Which is crazy too, because Dallas and Houston have like a rivalry for some reason.

• 1:20:38Speaker 04

  But Houston shows love, dude. And Paul Wall told me, he got love in Dallas before he got love in Houston. It's a weird thing.

• 1:20:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, that is weird.

• 1:20:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, but he was like, yeah, because I remember telling him, he came to a show and I was like, yo, I feel like I'm getting more love here.

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  Ooh, hold on, this is more important.

• 1:20:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:54Speaker 06

  Single cab slam Chevy Silverado.

• 1:20:57Speaker 03

  The Silverado.

• 1:20:58Speaker 04

  That Silverado looks tough as fuck.

• 1:20:59Speaker 03

  As far as like that generation, the Chevys are better.

• 1:21:03Speaker 04

  Tough.

• 1:21:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like those better. What do you drive?

• 1:21:06Speaker 04

  Let's take that out of the Hamptons, bro.

• 1:21:08Speaker 03

  You don't have a car? That's such a New York thing, bro.

• 1:21:10Speaker 06

  Dude, that's why he'll never move here, bro. He's not gonna drive the, ride the train, you know what I mean?

• 1:21:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I like the train, like it's freeing sometimes too, but yeah, I gotta drive something.

• 1:21:21Speaker 06

  Alright, mid seventies.

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  Charger, not even a question.

• 1:21:23Speaker 06

  Charger Impala?

• 1:21:24Speaker 03

  Nah, I'm still going Impala, bro.

• 1:21:26Speaker 06

  Why?

• 1:21:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm still going Impala.

• 1:21:28Speaker 04

  Charger, dog, that shit looks great.

• 1:21:30Speaker 03

  That Charger looks fucking heavy.

• 1:21:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're both boats, they're not moving fast, but the Impala's way sicker. I don't know why the Impala's sicker.

• 1:21:39Speaker 03

  You got more of these?

• 1:21:40Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Were you making this the entire time?

• 1:21:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, I was making this while you guys were talking, so I only got a couple, yeah.

• 1:21:45Speaker 04

  Oh, that's awesome, let's do this.

• 1:21:46Speaker 03

  I'll get the. I had that car. Which one? The 350Z? Infinity or the 350? Infinity.

• 1:21:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, black people love Infinitis.

• 1:21:51Speaker 04

  Isn't it bad? Infinity's a faster car, right?

• 1:21:53Speaker 06

  Black people love Nissans and Infinitis. I don't know why, Mexicans love Chevys. There's, there are rules here and I don't know why.

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  I don't know about that. I know Indians love Toyotas and Hondas. Toyota more so.

• 1:22:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, because they're like the Japanese rivals.

• 1:22:06Speaker 03

  You guys know what to invest into.

• 1:22:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, resale value is the best. Uh, I, the Infiniti G35, I think is like, uh, better car, I think, right?

• 1:22:13Speaker 03

  The 350Z is gonna be way fun to drive.

• 1:22:16Speaker 06

  Way more fun, it's way lighter.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  Those things were made, were like, ready to drift.

• 1:22:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're sick.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:20Speaker 06

  What would you pick?

• 1:22:21Speaker 03

  The 350Z.

• 1:22:22Speaker 06

  I'm so white, I look at both these, I fear that they're just like grandma cars.

• 1:22:25Speaker 03

  I bought a 350Z from a dude who looks like he could be Mark's cousin. The dude looked like he was on meth, he was cool people.

• 1:22:32Speaker 06

  What the fuck?

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:34Speaker 06

  My cousin?

• 1:22:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:22:36Speaker 06

  You're a drug addict.

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  Marauder.

• 1:22:38Speaker 03

  Oh, I'll get the, uh, I love the GTO, but I'd get the Marauder.

• 1:22:43Speaker 06

  The Marauders are so sick.

• 1:22:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And they're harder to find, I think, than the GTOs.

• 1:22:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're awesome.

• 1:22:48Speaker 04

  Yo, you vibe with Carlos Miller on this? Carlos be doing this shit. He be fixing up cars.

• 1:22:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've never met him in person, but he'll send me like car videos sometimes and shit.

• 1:22:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's great, dude. That's the man.

• 1:22:58Speaker 06

  Do you like German cars?

• 1:22:59Speaker 03

  I do.

• 1:23:00Speaker 05

  How is this even comparable? I don't even understand.

• 1:23:02Speaker 06

  I'm just saying, you got the money. You gotta look. One of them is way more like scary to buy, which is a hundred and sixty thousand dollars, or a hundred and sixty thousand mile SLK.

• 1:23:10Speaker 04

  Benz, yeah.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd still go SLK though, but I wouldn't go convertible.

• 1:23:14Speaker 04

  Is that GTI stick shift? I fuck, I miss, I miss driving manual.

• 1:23:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, right?

• 1:23:20Speaker 05

  How is the GTI even in the conversation? Like, why is that car?

• 1:23:22Speaker 04

  People like souping that up.

• 1:23:23Speaker 05

  That's a hatchback.

• 1:23:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, GTI's are cool. They have history.

• 1:23:27Speaker 03

  People souped those up.

• 1:23:28Speaker 04

  My first car was a Civic hatchback that P, SI, and people who like souping up cars would be like, yo, I'll buy that car from you on the fucking spot.

• 1:23:35Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, especially in Texas.

• 1:23:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Speaker 03

  How many cars do you have? Do you have a collection or not?

• 1:23:39Speaker 04

  Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm here, so I'm in New York. I got one car.

• 1:23:43Speaker 03

  You got one car?

• 1:23:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, I want a minivan real bad, though.

• 1:23:45Speaker 03

  I feel like I would save money in New York.

• 1:23:47Speaker 04

  You want a minivan? I want a minivan.

• 1:23:49Speaker 03

  You have, you have kids already?

• 1:23:50Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 1:23:51Speaker 03

  No? How many kids you wanna have?

• 1:23:53Speaker 04

  Two to three, ideally.

• 1:23:55Speaker 03

  Fucking get on there, brother.

• 1:23:56Speaker 04

  I know. I know, I am trying, dude.

• 1:23:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, speaking of vans, speaking of vans, this is a clapper edition. Which clapper are you buying?

• 1:24:02Speaker 03

  This is like between two evils, like.

• 1:24:05Speaker 06

  Yeah, this is clapped out.

• 1:24:06Speaker 04

  Astro van, absolutely.

• 1:24:08Speaker 03

  Beaner and beaner. Yeah, I'd go van, cause you could live in it.

• 1:24:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, the Astro's sick, right?

• 1:24:12Speaker 04

  That's what I wanna do. I wanna take a van and just take it on the road, like just modify it.

• 1:24:17Speaker 03

  If I didn't have a kid, I would live in a van.

• 1:24:19Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:24:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:20Speaker 04

  All right, how old's your son now? Six?

• 1:24:22Speaker 03

  He's six. Damn.

• 1:24:23Speaker 04

  You get that math, though. Math. You were here three years ago, he was three.

• 1:24:27Speaker 03

  Damn, I was here, I was here a minute ago.

• 1:24:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, how's he doing now?

• 1:24:30Speaker 03

  Aw, man, he, he hates my job. He likes it and then he don't like me to leave though, but he says he wants to be a comedian.

• 1:24:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:37Speaker 03

  But every time he says he wants to be a comedian, like, it warms my heart, but then I think about all the drugs I've done and I'm like, nah.

• 1:24:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:43Speaker 03

  Do something else.

• 1:24:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, you know.

• 1:24:45Speaker 03

  I'm like, be a police officer.

• 1:24:46Speaker 04

  You know what'd help him? Not be a comedian. You get into therapy.

• 1:24:49Speaker 03

  Me going to therapy?

• 1:24:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You keep leaving this kid, he's gonna be like, I have issues I gotta work out, and I'm gonna be a comedian.

• 1:24:56Speaker 03

  Nah, man, he's with me like half the week, so I think that's pretty good. And then the other half I'm out here. That sounds insane to somebody who like just lives with their kids.

• 1:25:12Speaker 03

  Nah, he gonna be fine, dude. You never bring him on the road with you? He's in fifty percent of the most weeks. I've taken him to like two road gigs. Yeah, how was that? Uh, it's always, he likes traveling. Though it's just, I took him to Denver and I took him to Houston. The Houston one was tough because my dad was out there with me and my stepmom. And he was with me like two days and then on the third day, he had to drive back to Dallas with my dad and my stepmom and he was like sad to go and stuff. But the other one, we flew to Denver and then flew back with me. And now he's just like, let's go back to Denver, we wanna see the snow. I'm like, bro, it's summer, like, it's not snowing right now. They don't get it yet, you know? That's so sweet. Kids, kids don't understand. I know, the best. He's just a kid.

• 1:25:49Speaker 05

  Was it crazy showing him the venue? Like, did he walk on the stage at all?

• 1:25:52Speaker 03

  Nah, he didn't really give a fuck about it. He was like, I don't wanna see that.

• 1:25:56Speaker 05

  That's a good sign.

• 1:25:57Speaker 03

  Right?

• 1:25:57Speaker 05

  That's awesome. That's a great sign.

• 1:25:58Speaker 03

  I love that. He's just more there for like the other experience. He just wants to be with you, dude. He could not care less that you're famous. Yeah, for real. Nah, we were at a, we're at the mall. And I wore shades and a hat because I just, I don't like, I don't get recognized like a crazy amount. But that day, I was like, I don't wanna. Mall in Dallas? Yeah. North Park? Yeah. Yeah. I just, I just didn't wanna get recognized or somebody. Sometimes people take pictures of me. Yeah, like I'll get a picture of me taken without me knowing. And I get like tagged in it. And I don't want that to happen when I'm with my kid. Yeah. Even though I'm out there.

• 1:26:30Speaker 05

  My bitch ass was walking on the street with my kid, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. On the street.

• 1:26:36Speaker 03

  How old's your kid?

• 1:26:37Speaker 05

  Nine months, or ten months.

• 1:26:38Speaker 03

  Oh, he's tiny.

• 1:26:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's a little baby. But I was walking and some dude walks up, he's like, yo, love the podcast. I was like, oh, thank you, bro. He's like, eating peanut butter on the street, like, looking crazy.

• 1:26:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:47Speaker 05

  My hair is even fucking frizzier than this. I was like, I should probably not be outside. Like, cuz I don't even, I don't even think about people saying what's up to me.

• 1:26:54Speaker 03

  I go sloppy everywhere.

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  It's embarrassing.

• 1:26:57Speaker 03

  Nah, it's alright.

• 1:26:58Speaker 05

  I don't like it. I, I feel, I always wanna apologize. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry that I'm, I am this way.

• 1:27:02Speaker 03

  My son be wanting to expose me though. Like, I was wearing the hats and the shades and my son wanted to grab the shades. And I was like, nah, don't take them off. And this, it caught me off guard that he like said this. He was like, he's like, why don't you wanna take them off, pa? He's like, you don't want people to know you're Ralph Barbosa? Oh. And then he goes, he goes, I'mma yell. I'mma be like, everybody, it's Ralph Barbosa. I'm like, motherfucker.

• 1:27:25Speaker 05

  Yo, you really made a little you. That's crazy. Cause that's exactly what you would say to you.

• 1:27:30Speaker 03

  One time, uh, I think he was with his mom one time. She was telling me that she took him somewhere recently and I guess they went to a store where like I've taken pictures of the people there before or something and uh, that she told my kid like, oh yeah, these people are fans of your dad. And apparently he went up to the register was like, I'm my dad's son. And they're just like, alright, like, they don't know, they don't know who the fuck you're talking about.

• 1:27:55Speaker 05

  Trying to get candy and shit, but he's like, give me this.

• 1:27:58Speaker 03

  I was like, alright, bro, get the fuck out of here. Well, I like being a dad, man. I don't know if I could have more kids. One time they told me my semen was like not up to par. And like.

• 1:28:08Speaker 04

  Something about that chair.

• 1:28:11Speaker 03

  Sorry, but I kinda wanna go to the doctor and like get my nut fixed.

• 1:28:17Speaker 04

  Well, Andrew had the same issue. Slow swimmers, I think is his issue. But you can IVF, you can get that taken care of.

• 1:28:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, they told me it's like slow swimmers, very few swimmers, and a lot of them are not shaped right. It's the weed, bro. Yeah, it's the weed. I haven't smoked weed in months.

• 1:28:36Speaker 05

  You wanna run that back?

• 1:28:39Speaker 03

  I'm pretty sure it's been months.

• 1:28:42Speaker 04

  No, but I heard that. I heard too much marijuana can affect your sperm.

• 1:28:45Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, I could see that, for sure. I also heard it's like boxers. You ever get these ads that are like, they make you feel stupid for like stuff that you just were doing innocently?

• 1:28:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, like the underwear one. I think I know what you're talking about. Organic underwear or whatever?

• 1:28:59Speaker 03

  They're like, yo, fucking idiot, you still wearing polyester boxers? I'm like, I don't fucking know, maybe?

• 1:29:04Speaker 04

  I wore the ones in the store that they sold.

• 1:29:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're like, no, that can fuck up your sperm and shit.

• 1:29:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've seen that exact commercial.

• 1:29:11Speaker 05

  Bro, that happens so much with parenting stuff. Like I get TikToks or like Instagram reels all the time. It's like, yo, are you playing music for your kid? Cause it can affect their hearing. They'll be deaf forever.

• 1:29:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:20Speaker 05

  And then I'm like, is this real? Like, and then you'll see another one that's like, you need to play music all the time to expose them to different sounds.

• 1:29:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, bro.

• 1:29:27Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:29:27Speaker 03

  You're fucking up no matter what.

• 1:29:28Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:29:29Speaker 03

  You have to do your best. You don't have kids, bro?

• 1:29:32Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, no kids.

• 1:29:33Speaker 03

  Bro, go have kids.

• 1:29:34Speaker 04

  He's killed a few before they were born.

• 1:29:35Mark Gagnon?

  Jesus.

• 1:29:37Speaker 03

  Fucking brutal. How do you kill them before they're born, though?

• 1:29:41Speaker 04

  Ask Texas.

• 1:29:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's in Texas, he doesn't even know what that is.

• 1:29:44Speaker 04

  This guy's not allowed within state lines, dude.

• 1:29:47Speaker 03

  Nah, bro?

• 1:29:48Speaker 04

  He tried to fly to Austin, they stopped him at the border. They made the plane turn around. There's one posters this guy everywhere, Texas.

• 1:29:55Speaker 03

  Ah, I can see that, bro.

• 1:29:57Mark Gagnon?

  I don't think I want kids.

• 1:29:58Speaker 03

  Nah?

• 1:29:59Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, I don't think so.

• 1:29:59Speaker 03

  I guess, I guess it's good to like...

• 1:30:03Speaker 04

  I guess it's good to know...

• 1:30:05Mark Gagnon?

  I still got to have it, but I changed my mind, but right now, yeah, I don't think so.

• 1:30:09Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:30:09Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:09Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:30:10Mark Gagnon?

  No, no, no, it's just not calling me. You know how you guys like want kids, like he wants kids? And I'm like, eh.

• 1:30:16Speaker 03

  Look, man, I'm gonna bring this up for the third time, but I did Joe Rogan's podcast.

• 1:30:21Speaker 03

  And he told me there's a shortage in Japan of people.

• 1:30:24Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, which you wouldn't think, right? When you watch Tokyo Drift, you see the scene where they go through other people's... Also, 10 times around Japan, for the record, Lil Weed, Lil Weed.

• 1:30:36Speaker 03

  I'm worried about Japan.

• 1:30:39Speaker 03

  They have a shortage of people, they can't replace the people that are there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so, and then Joe showed me a picture of some guy who's like in a relationship with an anime character. And then, so then...

• 1:30:53Speaker 04

  You wanna be that guy.

• 1:30:55Speaker 03

  I wanna be that character, nah, uh... But that's like some scary shit, don't be that guy, bro.

• 1:31:02Mark Gagnon?

  Why?

• 1:31:03Speaker 03

  It's better you be a shitty father than not a father at all.

• 1:31:09Speaker 03

  That's a good point.

• 1:31:10Speaker 04

  I've never disagreed with anything more in my life.

• 1:31:14Speaker 03

  For the sake of our economy.

• 1:31:15Mark Gagnon?

  I think my dad took that advice.

• 1:31:18Speaker 04

  Same, he's same to you.

• 1:31:23Speaker 03

  Have a kid and then just leave. Why? It's because we need to not be Japan. Well, why? Why is it bad?

• 1:31:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, you didn't say anything about why it's bad.

• 1:31:35Speaker 03

  I don't know. Joe Rogan said it's bad, man.

• 1:31:38Speaker 04

  But Joe's with his kids.

• 1:31:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's true, but he said that it's bad for Japan that because that's like really bad.

• 1:31:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, they got a negative birth rate, more old people than young people.

• 1:31:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:47Speaker 05

  So people will die, right?

• 1:31:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, I understand. I understand that part. But why is that so bad?

• 1:31:53Speaker 03

  I don't know. I don't necessarily understand.

• 1:31:56Speaker 05

  An economy of a few people can't support a bunch of pensioners that don't work.

• 1:31:59Speaker 03

  I would.

• 1:32:00Speaker 04

  They're gonna die off.

• 1:32:01Speaker 03

  I would imagine, this is just high school diploma talking.

• 1:32:06Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:32:07Speaker 03

  I would imagine that there's like not gonna be enough jobs being taken care of. Like if there's fucking three farmers working on a farm, but they didn't have kids or whatever, who's gonna like take over the farm? There's no farm. Who's gonna make the weird Japanese?

• 1:32:29Speaker 04

  But once those old people die, now the population just shrinks and now we're back. It's a short-term problem. I think it's like a 20-year problem. Once these old people die, we're all good.

• 1:32:37Speaker 03

  And AI and robots are taking most jobs anyway. I would like to.

• 1:32:40Speaker 04

  That's also.

• 1:32:41Speaker 03

  It's probably a better thing than we have less.

• 1:32:42Speaker 04

  What a fucking valid point.

• 1:32:43Speaker 03

  I need you three guys to go on Joe Rogan next. Or I need you guys to go with me next time I do it because you probably won't be invited, but I will.

• 1:32:54Speaker 05

  And every time he brings up a subject like Congress with you guys and then we rebuttal.

• 1:32:59Speaker 03

  The Epstein thing. What's going on? Who's going to jail?

• 1:33:04Speaker 05

  He's a pedophile.

• 1:33:04Speaker 04

  No one's going to jail. That we've learned. No one's going to jail. Hey, you know, apparently nothing happened.

• 1:33:09Speaker 03

  No, that's insane. That's so insane.

• 1:33:12Speaker 04

  So Mark could probably tell you more about what actually happened.

• 1:33:14Speaker 03

  Tom Hanks was on the list. Okay, I don't know if that's. I need to know if I can still love Tom Hanks or not.

• 1:33:20Speaker 04

  I don't believe Tom Hanks on the list. I think people who get really deep into conspiracy start saying Tom Hanks is on the list, but I don't think he's actually on the list.

• 1:33:27Speaker 03

  I really hope he's not. I need him to not be on that list.

• 1:33:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:30Speaker 03

  I love Tom Hanks.

• 1:33:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I agree. What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie?

• 1:33:35Speaker 03

  Toy Story.

• 1:33:37Speaker 04

  The one where you don't see him at all?

• 1:33:39Speaker 03

  This is voice.

• 1:33:39Speaker 05

  The one where he's getting played with by a kid?

• 1:33:41Speaker 03

  Or maybe.

• 1:33:46Speaker 05

  That's kinda crazy, bro.

• 1:33:49Speaker 05

  That's wild. The one where he's a little woody?

• 1:33:51Speaker 03

  Stop connecting the dots, man. Stop connecting the dots.

• 1:33:54Speaker 05

  A kid is playing with him and a kid's touching him and he's woody.

• 1:33:59Speaker 03

  I was gonna bring up another movie, but it's still just the pedophilia. I was gonna say Big. A grown woman fucks Tom Hanks as a child.

• 1:34:08Speaker 05

  All the writing's on the wall. You're connecting the dots, really. Welcome to it.

• 1:34:11Speaker 03

  Fuck. The Matrix.

• 1:34:15Speaker 04

  He, Tom Hanks in The Matrix?

• 1:34:16Speaker 05

  If he was on the list, would you stop liking?

• 1:34:19Speaker 03

  If he wasn't on the, if he was on the list?

• 1:34:22Speaker 05

  Those movies would hit way different.

• 1:34:24Speaker 03

  I mean, I just like, ever since I even heard the rumor, I just can't watch a Tom Hanks movie without just wondering. Like, half the movie, I'm like, this guy is so fucking talented. And then the other half, I'm like, but he's twisted.

• 1:34:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. I don't think Tom Hanks on the list. I just don't think so.

• 1:34:42Speaker 03

  Maybe you're in love with Tom Hanks.

• 1:34:44Speaker 04

  Maybe. Maybe I choose to believe the good in Tom Hanks. You know, it's an underrated Tom Hanks movie. You seen The Terminal?

• 1:34:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:50Speaker 04

  That shit cracks.

• 1:34:51Speaker 03

  Did you ever, did you ever read about the true story of The Terminal?

• 1:34:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, the dude that lived in the airport.

• 1:34:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, the dude lived in the airport and he was not as handsome as Tom Hanks. I'll tell you that right now.

• 1:35:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, he got an upgrade in the casting on that.

• 1:35:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then they like, gave him citizenship, right? And then he didn't like living in the outside, so he went back to live at the airport and then he died at the airport.

• 1:35:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, can we get an image of the dude?

• 1:35:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:35:13Speaker 05

  He literally just posted up in airport for like 25 years.

• 1:35:16Speaker 03

  If I saw that guy at the airport, I would report him.

• 1:35:19Speaker 05

  You're allowed to do that? One guy is.

• 1:35:22Speaker 03

  I would.

• 1:35:22Speaker 04

  You're a snitch, yo.

• 1:35:23Speaker 03

  Look at him. I'd be like, that guy.

• 1:35:25Speaker 04

  I don't think he's that bad looking.

• 1:35:26Speaker 03

  That guy's on the fucking Epstein list.

• 1:35:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, he just looks Middle Eastern.

• 1:35:30Speaker 03

  Nah, bro, look at that mustache.

• 1:35:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, Middle Eastern.

• 1:35:33Speaker 06

  He's Iranian.

• 1:35:35Speaker 04

  Bang.

• 1:35:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:35:36Speaker 04

  I said.

• 1:35:36Speaker 06

  And he was like stateless, if I remember correctly.

• 1:35:39Speaker 03

  Look at his eyes.

• 1:35:42Speaker 04

  I don't think he's that ugly. He's just bald.

• 1:35:45Speaker 05

  He's no Tom Hanks, though.

• 1:35:46Speaker 03

  He's no Tom Hanks, bro.

• 1:35:47Speaker 04

  That's a fact. Okay. I didn't know Tom Hanks was hot.

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  You gonna tell me that guy's not that ugly? Come on.

• 1:35:54Speaker 03

  If I don't stop doing drugs, that's me in 10 years.

• 1:36:00Speaker 03

  I'm terminal part two.

• 1:36:02Speaker 05

  I don't even know how that happens though. Like you just try to, you like miss your flight and you're like, fuck it. I live here now.

• 1:36:07Speaker 03

  Nah, I think the story was that he fucking, he's flying to America. And as he's flying in, his country sees it to exist.

• 1:36:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:36:16Speaker 03

  They infiltrate his country and then like they took it over. So when he lands, he's a citizen of like nowhere.

• 1:36:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's stateless.

• 1:36:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. So he can't even leave the airport because it's like illegal. He's like.

• 1:36:26Speaker 04

  You can't even watch the movie. It's beautiful.

• 1:36:27Speaker 05

  I've never seen it.

• 1:36:28Speaker 03

  What's the girl's name in the movie?

• 1:36:30Speaker 04

  Catherine, Catherine Jones.

• 1:36:31Speaker 06

  She looks gorgeous in that movie.

• 1:36:32Speaker 03

  Bro, she was going, she was on a run during that little era.

• 1:36:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:35Speaker 03

  She did Ocean's Twelve.

• 1:36:37Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:36:38Speaker 05

  She's, she's still alive now. Wait, but what country he's from? You said he's a Persian? He was from.

• 1:36:42Speaker 06

  The actual person's Iranian, but in the movie they like make up a country.

• 1:36:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, they put him in some made up country in the movie.

• 1:36:48Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:36:48Speaker 05

  I still don't get it. How does he just stay in the airport though?

• 1:36:51Speaker 06

  Because they can't let him into America because he's not a citizen.

• 1:36:54Speaker 05

  He's in Paris. They can't let him into France. Airports are not actually like part of the country.

• 1:36:59Speaker 03

  Wait, he was in, he was in Paris?

• 1:37:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:01Speaker 06

  No, in the real story.

• 1:37:03Speaker 03

  In the real story, he was in Paris.

• 1:37:04Speaker 05

  Oh, sorry. Yeah.

• 1:37:05Speaker 03

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:37:06Speaker 05

  I mean, but was he rich? Like, how's he feeding himself? How's he like? People like donate and give him food. Go to a coffee bean, you know what I mean? And you're just eating.

• 1:37:15Speaker 06

  If you watch, if you've watched the movie, which to me is the real story.

• 1:37:18Speaker 05

  He was also like homies with all the.

• 1:37:19Speaker 06

  He really hustles.

• 1:37:19Speaker 05

  People that work there.

• 1:37:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, people that worked there liked him.

• 1:37:22Speaker 05

  They gave him like a little corner he could sleep in. I thought it was a love story. I thought he falls in love at the airport. I thought that's what the movie was.

• 1:37:28Speaker 04

  Watch the movie.

• 1:37:29Speaker 03

  He just masturbated in an airport a lot. It's Hollywood.

• 1:37:32Speaker 05

  No, what am I thinking? A missed connection? Is that, is that a movie where people fall in love in an airport? Joe, I really thought this was a love story. I swear to God. I had no idea. This movie sounds awesome. That's wild.

• 1:37:44Speaker 04

  It's a beautiful film.

• 1:37:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:46Speaker 04

  Tom Hanks not on the list. I can't, I can't see it.

• 1:37:49Speaker 06

  I also think he's not attached to the list. I think he's attached to some like glove.

• 1:37:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's another different conspiracy where he's like posts off on Instagram and people look into it and they're like, look, he's he's doing the he's part of this big.

• 1:37:59Speaker 06

  It's much more like harebrained. It's less less.

• 1:38:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, he'll like just post a glove and people are like, this is a sign. He killed someone.

• 1:38:05Speaker 06

  You can you can keep watching Toy Story.

• 1:38:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't think he's connected to Epstein. Oh, no, but he did react when Ricky Gervais did the jokes about Epstein. He was like, mm. So people are like, oh, he's involved because of his reaction.

• 1:38:16Speaker 03

  Ah, yeah, they're reaching.

• 1:38:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think it's a reach.

• 1:38:20Speaker 04

  If he was actually on, if he was actually involved, he would laugh to lie. That's what actors always do. When someone else wins the Oscar and they all pretend they're happy, they're all lying. That's what he would do.

• 1:38:29Speaker 03

  They're happy. Come on, don't be so cynical.

• 1:38:33Speaker 03

  Are you not happy for the comics when they get like?

• 1:38:35Speaker 04

  Not all of them. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:38:38Speaker 03

  Okay, but you don't lie about it. So give the actor.

• 1:38:40Speaker 04

  I'm not I'm not an actor. Actors are liars by profession. You pretend to be someone else. That's like your whole job.

• 1:38:47Speaker 05

  He's so hurt right now. He wanted to be an actor. He's like, don't call my profession.

• 1:38:51Speaker 03

  One day I'm gonna be hanging out with Tom Hanks and Brad Pitt and we're gonna look down on you, Akash.

• 1:38:56Speaker 04

  I hope that I, dude, I pray that happens for you. Just stay away from the children.

• 1:39:00Speaker 03

  I wouldn't.

• 1:39:03Speaker 04

  Now I don't even talk to my own kid.

• 1:39:06Speaker 05

  He is. He's doing a great job.

• 1:39:09Speaker 03

  Come on, who are you talking to, huh?

• 1:39:12Speaker 03

  Nah, I don't think I don't think I could make it as an actor. Um, I didn't think about it, but when I did that Verizon commercial, like it was like all day filming.

• 1:39:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:21Speaker 03

  But then that was it.

• 1:39:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:23Speaker 03

  One day, that's it. Actors fucking do that shit for like months at a time. If I did, if I did any acting, which I think would be fun still, I would have to do small roles like I, you know what I mean?

• 1:39:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you know, I don't think you need to be the lead. I would love to be just like the comedic side character in a thing, but that before that's how you used to make it. This is what I was saying. Before you get in a movie or a TV show. And then people will be like, oh, that's Ralph Barbosa. And then they would find out you did stand up and see your stand up.

• 1:39:48Speaker 03

  Oh, something.

• 1:39:48Speaker 04

  Now it's the opposite.

• 1:39:49Speaker 03

  That I realized a little too late in life is that like middle spots are like the sweetest. Like even in comedy.

• 1:39:57Speaker 04

  Oh, feature.

• 1:39:58Speaker 05

  I can't believe you would say that, bro.

• 1:39:59Speaker 03

  Feature spots are sweet.

• 1:40:00Speaker 04

  You have, he has to leave, he has to catch a flight to go headline, actually. Mark, where you headlining? Where you headlining next week?

• 1:40:06Speaker 05

  Oh, uh, I'm gonna be in Detroit and then Montreal and Toronto.

• 1:40:10Speaker 04

  Bang, there you go. Go catch Mark Gagnon, suck his dick.

• 1:40:13Speaker 05

  Also, before, before the show, I told Ralph I had to leave and he was like, yeah, just at some point, just pretend to be offended and get out.

• 1:40:19Speaker 03

  He's pissed that I think middle spots, they're good.

• 1:40:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta dream bigger, bro.

• 1:40:23Speaker 03

  His father was killed by a sandwich.

• 1:40:27Speaker 05

  I told you that in confidence, don't bring that up. Edit that out, how dare you?

• 1:40:31Speaker 03

  Sorry about that.

• 1:40:31Speaker 05

  I'll see y'all.

• 1:40:33Speaker 04

  I love you, man.

• 1:40:33Speaker 05

  Love y'all.

• 1:40:34Speaker 03

  Like a castle entrance.

• 1:40:36Speaker 04

  So you miss being a feature?

• 1:40:38Speaker 03

  I, I got to feature for a short amount of time, but I never featured for anybody like on the road a lot.

• 1:40:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40:45Speaker 03

  Like to be touring with somebody.

• 1:40:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40:47Speaker 03

  But, yeah, I feel like that's like.

• 1:40:49Speaker 04

  It's the best.

• 1:40:50Speaker 03

  It's a good spot, you know, don't give me.

• 1:40:52Speaker 04

  If they give you 20 and let you rock 2025, oh, God.

• 1:40:55Speaker 03

  If you can make a living off of that and not have to like really deal with a whole lot of, but then again, I'm, I'm, I sound so ungrateful, I wouldn't trade.

• 1:41:03Speaker 04

  No, I know, and I think, and I'm not even saying this, I think you have a healthy ego, it's not even a shot, I think you have a healthy like, I'm gonna be big, and I think that's good, I think you need that. So I, I don't think you'd be happy being a feature. I think you're, you, I think you're going up and you wanna keep going up.

• 1:41:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz then if you're a feature, you'll never know if people are there for you.

• 1:41:21Speaker 03

  That's true, but it's still sweet, it's a sweet spot.

• 1:41:24Speaker 04

  What he's saying is as a gig, so like, I didn't feature a ton on the road either, but I'll look at my features and they'll do 20 and get off and they're done, and then I have to go to an hour. And it's like, oh, your job is, is easier.

• 1:41:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:41:37Speaker 04

  It's just a fun gig.

• 1:41:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:39Speaker 04

  This is more pressure and it's better, but it's, it's like the weight of the thing is on me. If you bomb, I'm coming to clean it up.

• 1:41:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:41:46Speaker 04

  If I bomb, what the fuck happens? You know what I mean? People are posting about it, blah, blah, blah. So it's just like, as a gig, it's the best gig. I would not trade lives.

• 1:41:56Speaker 03

  Feedback, the feedback. Can be on you, like, good or bad reviews.

• 1:42:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:01Speaker 03

  But if the feature just goes out there and does bad, they're like, who gives a shit? I didn't come to see him.

• 1:42:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, the feature wasn't funny, but the show was so good.

• 1:42:07Speaker 03

  If he does good, everybody's like, oh, my God, he was so much funnier.

• 1:42:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh, yeah, funnier than, and it's less time and the audience is already warm. And you just do your best shit and get out. So sometimes they'll be like, you know, you were better than the feature. Or you were better than the headliner. I used to get that. Never want to open for Andrew, obviously, but like other people, you know, you were better than the headliner. It's like, yeah, maybe, but also they, I had an easier gig.

• 1:42:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would tell people, I did like 15 minutes, like an hour, like, that's not fair.

• 1:42:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. But how is your act changed since you're doing an hour now? Like, are you digging in deeper? Are you getting in any personal stuff? You don't have to. I'm just curious.

• 1:42:41Speaker 03

  Uh, nah, I mean, I've always, I feel like my material is always kind of ranged. I mean, it's always silly either way. But I feel like lately, like the last few months, I've been doing a lot of crowd work. It's because I'm tired of hearing my own act. And I've had a little bit of like writer's block.

• 1:42:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:57Speaker 03

  And I've just enjoyed the crowd work more.

• 1:42:59Speaker 04

  It's just so fun. It's the most honest moment.

• 1:43:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:03Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 1:43:03Speaker 03

  Some people, I know, I know, like, I got maybe like two, three messages where they're just like, hey, man, I went to your show and like, you did like a few jokes and then you just did a lot of crowd work. I just wanted to see jokes. And I like, I get it.

• 1:43:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:17Speaker 03

  And I don't really post a lot of crowd work because I also don't want people to like, expect crowd work and just start yelling a lot.

• 1:43:25Speaker 03

  But yeah, it's been fun. Yeah, I just need a little break from the script.

• 1:43:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I, that's what people, so when I first started before YouTube, before like, if you need to put a clip up every week, you can't do a new joke every week. You're burnt out. So now we all do crowd work. But back then, people would judge it. And I was like, Doug, that is the only real moment we're having. 98% of what I say is off the top. Some, one or two things I'll probably reuse, but every joke I've been working on, I do it in every city. It's like, it's a script.

• 1:43:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:52Speaker 04

  This is not, this is real. This is us having a thing. And I love that.

• 1:43:55Speaker 03

  I like doing jokes too that are like, um, like you, what do you call it? Like fill in the blank type jokes? Depending on the city?

• 1:44:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:04Speaker 03

  Like, how to explain? Like, I was doing this joke. And so I'll ask though, before the show starts, I'll ask like the staff, like, what's like the ghettoest neighborhood around? So like, I started doing it in Dallas. I'd be like, um, The joke was like.

• 1:44:18Speaker 04

  Pleasant Grove or whatever.

• 1:44:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would use Pleasant Grove.

• 1:44:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:21Speaker 03

  So I'd go on stage, I'd be like, um, I don't like when people uh act like they're too good for like junk food. Like they like look down on junk food. Like I was out with a girl and I was like, oh, look, there's a food truck. We could just eat there. And she was like, I don't trust food trucks. I was like, fuck you mean you don't trust it? You think he's gonna drive off and get like a little laugh? And then she'd be like, no, I mean, I don't like it. Like, what if they don't have a good health rating? Or like, what if it's not sanitary?

• 1:44:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:47Speaker 03

  And then I'd be like, girl, I picked you up in Pleasant Grove.

• 1:44:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:50Speaker 03

  And then I'd be like, ah.

• 1:44:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:52Speaker 03

  So then like, I like doing that stuff on the road.

• 1:44:55Speaker 04

  No, they love that.

• 1:44:55Speaker 03

  Cause then I'll change, yeah, I'll say like, oh, I picked you up in the Bronx. And then the one's like, oh, he gets it.

• 1:45:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:01Speaker 03

  But then I also like to take it a step further and like let people know like, hey, like, like break the fourth wall, like, y'all know I do this.

• 1:45:09Speaker 03

  I do this with a different neighborhood, like, you're like, it's stupid, you know?

• 1:45:12Speaker 04

  No, that's great though, cause they also, they wanna, they wanna know you're a part of the thing and that you're talking about something that only they know and like, if you're doing a Mexican show and you talk about some shit that only Mexican people know, they love it. If I'm doing an Indian show and I'm talking about some inside shit, they love it. So it's gonna be the same thing if I'm in San Diego.

• 1:45:26Speaker 03

  Gets a little more intimate like that. I love to, I love to like break away from my own act. Even before I started doing crowd work, I would just fucking, like at some point in my show, I would like give people a fucking behind the scenes on like that joke, like, you know, I wrote that and I was like taking a shit and this and that. Well, I don't know.

• 1:45:46Speaker 04

  Why are you like doing that? I'm curious, I'm not even.

• 1:45:49Speaker 03

  I feel like if I, if I just do a whole hour of like joke after joke or like joke, story joke, it can be very um, I feel like people can tune out more.

• 1:45:58Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:45:58Speaker 03

  And even I get bored of it.

• 1:45:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:00Speaker 03

  But I get bored easily. I don't know. I don't know if it's like the fucking.

• 1:46:03Speaker 04

  No, I think most people get bored easily now. We got phones all the time, yeah.

• 1:46:06Speaker 03

  So I gotta think of some way to like fucking break the fourth wall, get a little like.

• 1:46:10Speaker 04

  Keep them, yeah, some new stimulus. That's a great idea. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I'm curious, typically, how many years in you now? Eight, nine, nine?

• 1:46:18Speaker 03

  I'm like nine, almost 10, I think.

• 1:46:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, 10 years, and then 15 years, and then 20 years. The act just keeps evolving. And it's gonna be interesting to see, because you blew up pretty quick, like we said. So you got about 14, 15 years left of evolving. And you're still gonna be headlining, so like, this is awesome. Your first Hulu special, Planet Bosa, is different than your last Netflix special. And then in 10 years, you're gonna put out a special on whatever streamer, whatever. That's gonna be so different than this. And your fans get to like, really follow you on the journey, which is gonna be cool.

• 1:46:50Speaker 03

  You know, I actually like the Planet Bosa special a little more than my last special.

• 1:46:55Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:46:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. But I actually feel like it's because it devolved.

• 1:47:01Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 1:47:01Speaker 03

  Like, I feel like my Netflix special was hard for me to tell if I really liked the jokes I was saying or not. Like, if it was getting laughs, fuck it, I was using it, you know what I mean? And like, it was cooler. But I feel like when I did this Hulu special, I had already had more experience on the road and gotten way more comfortable, that I got to just be myself on stage more.

• 1:47:27Speaker 04

  Awesome.

• 1:47:27Speaker 03

  So like, Kaobunga, I was like, very, very nervous. I was like, shitting bricks. I was like, ah. But I feel like with the Hulu one, I was just way more myself. So I felt like I got to be like an older version of myself.

• 1:47:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:47:39Speaker 03

  Well, who knows? I don't know.

• 1:47:40Speaker 04

  But that's again, that's part of it.

• 1:47:41Speaker 03

  What do I know, man? I'm just a kid.

• 1:47:42Speaker 04

  I don't even think it's devolving. I think it's like, part of it. And you are, you're gonna keep growing. You're, I'm 41, you're 28. I remember that. I'm a very different person in comics than I was in those 13 years. I mean, I wasn't that good then. But it's gonna, that's gonna be the same thing for you. Whatever, devolve, evil, it's all growth.

• 1:47:59Speaker 03

  I see, I see a lot of, like, comics that I think are very funny, like, comics that I'm a fan of.

• 1:48:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:48:05Speaker 03

  Online.

• 1:48:07Speaker 03

  And I'll start to wonder like, bro, should I be reading more? Like, I feel like a lot of comics are like so, so much smarter nowadays. I feel like you read a lot. You've mentioned multiple books that you were reading. Which one? The Hunter S. Thompson one? Yeah. I got like two pages in. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'mma buy the book.

• 1:48:23Speaker 04

  I don't read shit.

• 1:48:25Speaker 03

  Nah?

• 1:48:25Speaker 04

  No. But he also didn't say you were a fan of me, so it's fine. But, uh, I don't read. I don't think you need to. I think you need to be you. That's my personal thing. You just gotta be you. People love you, specifically you. Ralph, they're like, oh, he's so funny.

• 1:48:38Speaker 03

  Okay, I'll take it.

• 1:48:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. So it's like, just the more you you are, the, the better.

• 1:48:43Speaker 03

  I appreciate it, man.

• 1:48:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:48:44Speaker 03

  Did I mention I started an automotive channel? Fuck, I was supposed to promote that.

• 1:48:48Speaker 04

  Formula Bean.

• 1:48:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:49Speaker 04

  Hey, thanks, man. They can't deport us if they can't catch us.

• 1:48:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:53Speaker 04

  I don't. I'll be researching.

• 1:48:55Speaker 03

  That's our racing slogan.

• 1:48:58Speaker 04

  So what do you, what do y'all, y'all race?

• 1:49:00Speaker 03

  Uh, we've raced a couple of times. We put nitrous and a turbo in a 1989 Nissan 240, not tuned, so it ran horribly. And we blew it up.

• 1:49:12Speaker 04

  That's sick.

• 1:49:13Speaker 03

  Yeah. We committed a sin and put an LS in a Skyline.

• 1:49:17Speaker 04

  Ooh, I don't even know what that means, dude. I'mma be honest. This is one of those Rogan moments where I couldn't pretend I know what you mean to look more masculine, but nah, I don't know what the fuck you just said. I know Skyline because it was on Gran Turismo back in the day. It's a Nissan, right?

• 1:49:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:31Speaker 04

  Thank God, I knew that.

• 1:49:32Speaker 06

  How many cars do you own now? Like, what are you, what's your, your stable look like?

• 1:49:36Speaker 03

  Um, we got 76 Camaro, 72 Camaro, 71 Skyline, 90 Skyline, uh, 98 240.

• 1:49:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:49:47Speaker 03

  96 Impala.

• 1:49:50Speaker 03

  Truck.

• 1:49:53Speaker 03

  C10. Yeah, I think I got seven. No, no, no, I got the SS and I got the 350. I think I got nine. Nine of 10.

• 1:50:01Speaker 06

  10? All right. And then what is the one you find yourself driving?

• 1:50:04Speaker 03

  Four of them run.

• 1:50:05Speaker 06

  Nice. All right.

• 1:50:06Speaker 03

  Wait, you got cars that don't run? Most of them don't run.

• 1:50:09Speaker 04

  You're gonna get them to run, though. That's the idea, right? That's what you're saying, is you're passionate. Find things that don't run.

• 1:50:14Speaker 03

  Oh, man, I bought a 1973 Barracuda Fire. Yeah, I think it's sick.

• 1:50:19Speaker 04

  So you got 11 cars now?

• 1:50:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:21Speaker 04

  And how many? Four of them run?

• 1:50:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. Four or five?

• 1:50:25Speaker 06

  How many run well and reliably?

• 1:50:28Speaker 03

  Do you have a reliable car that you have for like family shit? My, my R35. This is a family car. What's that?

• 1:50:34Speaker 06

  That's not a family car.

• 1:50:35Speaker 03

  GTR.

• 1:50:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, the actor, is it an actor?

• 1:50:37Speaker 03

  No, no, it's a Nissan, Nissan GTR. That's not a, you got a kid seat in there? Nah, my son just sits in the back. Alright, bye, bye, bye. I make him take his shoes off though, cuz I don't want, cuz there's not enough, there's not a whole lot of space for the backseat.

• 1:50:49Speaker 04

  Can I suggest an everyday car for you?

• 1:50:50Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 1:50:51Speaker 04

  Toyota Sienna Hybrid.

• 1:50:53Speaker 03

  Sienna, can you pull that up? What is the Sienna look like? That's the Toyota minivan. Oh, the minivan? I love minivans.

• 1:50:58Speaker 04

  I said, I said that. They're fired.

• 1:51:00Speaker 03

  I don't like to drive them though.

• 1:51:02Speaker 04

  Nah, you would love to drive it with your son. He would actually be safe. His life would be okay. I know.

• 1:51:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's safe, man. I'm a good driver.

• 1:51:09Speaker 04

  Talk about the car, dude. You don't know what other people, there's other bad dri- I almost hit a guy yesterday, crackhead walking down the street. I didn't see him.

• 1:51:15Speaker 03

  Is that how you keep your family safe? By running over crackheads?

• 1:51:18Speaker 04

  Have I driven you anywhere?

• 1:51:20Speaker 03

  No. My son would not be caught dead in that thing. Like, my son would not let us drive that. My son picks what we drive for the day. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So he'll tell me like, hey, let's drive the SS today, like, hey, let's drive the GTR.

• 1:51:33Speaker 04

  No, no, no, let me tell you something. You take him in that thing, you turn on the TV in the backseat, he'll be thrilled to death.

• 1:51:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, he probably would like that. But he'll still call it lame. I know my son, he'll think that's so lame. Oh, so he's into cars too? He's, yeah, he's into cars. Does he like come with you while you're fixing it up? Yeah. He'll be out there handing me stuff and shit.

• 1:51:49Speaker 04

  Is there an age in which, or like an age, is there a time in which a car isn't running and you're just like, fuck this?

• 1:51:55Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:51:56Speaker 04

  Or, cuz I'm worried you're just gonna keep buying cars that don't run and they're just gonna keep not running.

• 1:52:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I-

• 1:52:00Speaker 04

  And you're just gonna have 14 cars that don't run and four that run.

• 1:52:03Speaker 03

  That's what I feel like's already happened.

• 1:52:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:52:06Speaker 03

  I think, the fact that you have more cars that don't run, it's like you're at the point where-

• 1:52:10Speaker 04

  Great observation. Great observation, Alex.

• 1:52:12Speaker 03

  Last week, I stayed home like all week. We got like three of them running. There was more. The ratio was bad. It was so bad.

• 1:52:19Speaker 04

  If you had one car that was running.

• 1:52:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. I had like one car running.

• 1:52:24Speaker 03

  I don't think you're a good mechanic.

• 1:52:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:26Speaker 03

  Well, I'm busy on the road.

• 1:52:28Speaker 04

  Your son, you can't commit to your kid a full week. You commit to six cars to fix?

• 1:52:33Speaker 03

  We got them. They're going. They're up and going, alright?

• 1:52:37Speaker 03

  You give me one week at home, the other six will be good to go.

• 1:52:39Speaker 04

  Take two weeks off.

• 1:52:41Speaker 03

  Take two, I'm trying to.

• 1:52:42Speaker 04

  He's a YouTube channel, you're dedicated, can you be dedicated to this, please?

• 1:52:45Speaker 03

  Look, bro, I'm trying to. This was Hulu's idea of the press tour.

• 1:52:49Mark Gagnon?

  Alright, what do you think about this truck?

• 1:52:50Speaker 04

  Okay, that's how we got you back.

• 1:52:52Speaker 03

  The press tour, you gotta promote something, baby.

• 1:52:55Speaker 04

  Baby?

• 1:52:56Mark Gagnon?

  What do you think about this truck?

• 1:52:58Speaker 03

  Oh man, those are badass. I don't even like Teslas, but those right there, I fucking, I would buy those.

• 1:53:03Speaker 04

  I got one.

• 1:53:04Mark Gagnon?

  I got one.

• 1:53:04Speaker 03

  You got one?

• 1:53:04Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:05Speaker 03

  Those are sick.

• 1:53:05Mark Gagnon?

  I fucking love it.

• 1:53:07Speaker 03

  It's pretty fast, it picks up?

• 1:53:08Mark Gagnon?

  That shit is fast.

• 1:53:09Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 1:53:09Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah. And it's like, because of the crab tires or whatever.

• 1:53:13Speaker 03

  Where the fuck do you park that in New York, though?

• 1:53:14Mark Gagnon?

  I got a garage.

• 1:53:15Speaker 03

  Oh, nice.

• 1:53:16Speaker 04

  You gotta have a garage if you own a car.

• 1:53:18Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 1:53:18Speaker 04

  It's just, I mean, you can, but it's so much easier if you have a garage.

• 1:53:21Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, that's why having a car in New York is super expensive, because not only are you paying for the car, you're paying for parking, paying for tickets, you're gonna get a bunch of tickets.

• 1:53:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:53:28Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:53:28Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah. These ticket people on the street, like, they'll get you. The moment it's a minute over, it's like, boom, take.

• 1:53:34Speaker 03

  This is fucking tough city.

• 1:53:36Mark Gagnon?

  They got you, yeah.

• 1:53:37Speaker 03

  I couldn't do it.

• 1:53:38Mark Gagnon?

  You can go to Jersey though.

• 1:53:39Speaker 03

  I like Astoria.

• 1:53:41Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, Astoria is cool. I'm right, I'm right next to Astoria, I'm in Long Island City.

• 1:53:44Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:53:44Mark Gagnon?

  Yes, yes. But you would probably do Jersey. Jersey would be good. You have some space, you can have your cars out there.

• 1:53:50Speaker 03

  I went to New Jersey three months ago. I wanted to go to the Sopranos Diner, the, what is it called? Where they shot him, but they said it's just like an ice cream shop now or something.

• 1:54:00Speaker 04

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:54:01Speaker 03

  What is that place called?

• 1:54:02Speaker 04

  You're a big Sopranos fan?

• 1:54:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love Sopranos.

• 1:54:04Speaker 04

  Son, I lo-, I loved it, and then they took a break, I don't even, you're probably too young to remember this, they took a break for like two years, and then I was just like, yeah, I'm good. Then I watched one or two episodes, and I was like, I think Tony got shot in the stomach, and then it was like dream episodes, and I was like, I'm done.

• 1:54:16Speaker 03

  Wait, what, what season did they take a break?

• 1:54:18Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, I didn't even remember.

• 1:54:19Speaker 03

  They took a break between five and six or what?

• 1:54:20Speaker 04

  Five and six or four and five, one of those two. Because, uh, what's her name, Edie Falco had breast cancer, I think? So they took a big break from filming, yeah.

• 1:54:26Speaker 03

  God forbid, somebody has cancer and ruins your show a car.

• 1:54:30Speaker 04

  No, I'm not mad at it, I just fell out of love with it.

• 1:54:34Speaker 04

  No, I just fell out of love with it.

• 1:54:35Speaker 03

  It's still good, bro. You gotta finish it.

• 1:54:38Speaker 04

  I just wasn't, and then everybody said the ending wasn't that good, and I was like, alright.

• 1:54:42Speaker 03

  The ending was amazing, it's the best ending in TV history.

• 1:54:47Speaker 03

  That's your favorite TV show of all time, Sopranos? Favorite TV show of all time. Breaking Bad? Breaking Bad is probably... I think I put Breaking Bad number one. I think Breaking Bad is like my third. There you go, Sopranos. The Wire? Nah, and this is just drama shows. Sopranos is my favorite show of all of all time, right?

• 1:55:06Speaker 06

  Dragon Ball Z, number two.

• 1:55:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. Huh?

• 1:55:08Speaker 06

  Dragon Ball Z, number two.

• 1:55:10Speaker 03

  Nah, nah, nah. Naruto, number three. Nah, no, the animes don't count. There you go, Sopranos, Atlanta, Breaking Bad. And after that, I don't know.

• 1:55:21Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, we put Breaking Bad above Atlanta, but it's a good list though.

• 1:55:24Speaker 03

  But it's because, but it's because I like, I don't... Like, they're entertaining, but they like, Breaking Bad and Sopranos both fall to me like under like crime stuff. I like Atlanta because of how like, it didn't rely on like a criminal world or whatever. And it would get so fucking crazy. It's a creative ass show. Yeah, it is very creative. Yeah. So I like, I fucking love how that show is just very original. I do not like Donald Glover's standup, but he's a creative. I never watched his standup. I watched like the joke where he was talking about how they wanted him to be Spider-Man. Oh, okay. And I was like, I don't really.

• 1:56:03Speaker 03

  But the man is a genius. He's a, yeah, he's a brilliant creative mind, undeniably. I like his music. He has a song called, uh, fuck, what's that one song called? I'll think about it later. I'll send it to you. Okay. It's a good song. I dedicate it to your girl. Okay. Go have a picnic or something. You dedicate it to your girl? Yeah, if I ever get a girl. Okay. Well, you're in love with somebody. I am.

• 1:56:25Speaker 03

  Nah, I wouldn't say I'm in love. I'm crushing. Okay.

• 1:56:28Mark Gagnon?

  Does she know? She just not want a relationship right now, or she doesn't think you're ready to settle down?

• 1:56:33Speaker 03

  He keeps emphasizing she, like he doesn't think it's a girl. Did you notice that? Does she know? Like, he's almost like skeptical.

• 1:56:39Mark Gagnon?

  You never know.

• 1:56:40Speaker 03

  She knows I'm crushing on her. Oh, well then what's the problem? Let's get her. Oh, I don't know.

• 1:56:45Speaker 04

  We could do this dude, I'm a great wingman. Call it right now.

• 1:56:47Speaker 03

  No, I'm not gonna call it.

• 1:56:48Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 1:56:49Speaker 06

  The most aggressive wingman in the world. Just come on, get married tomorrow. Come on.

• 1:56:53Speaker 04

  Have I ever wingman for you?

• 1:56:55Speaker 06

  No, but it's just a very aggressive, hyperactive. This guy's fucking great. He's funny, big dick. Marry him tomorrow. Why not?

• 1:57:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is pretty much what it would be.

• 1:57:03Mark Gagnon?

  It kinda works. That would work.

• 1:57:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:57:05Speaker 06

  That would work.

• 1:57:06Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:57:07Speaker 06

  Don't let him weaponize his therapy against you, alright? He does it to me all the time. It's annoying as fuck. You push back, hey, you're actually, you're the guy in the chair. You end the show whenever the fuck you want. You just look into the camera, you say.

• 1:57:18Speaker 03

  Do you wanna promote anything before I sign off?

• 1:57:22Speaker 04

  I launched my own podcast. I know it's a big commitment, but I'm actually doing it. It's called The Akai Syncedup. You guys wanna check it out? Uh, also next week, uh, I'm gonna be, well, when this comes out, I'm gonna be out of the country. I'm taking a vacation with my mom.

• 1:57:34Speaker 03

  Oh, nice.

• 1:57:35Speaker 04

  Taking my mom on vacation. Yeah, a little beach vacation. Turks and Caicos.

• 1:57:37Speaker 03

  Turks and Caicos?

• 1:57:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:40Mark Gagnon?

  Good luck. Drake ruined that shit.

• 1:57:42Speaker 04

  Hey, I would love if some black dudes hit on my mom. If any black dudes see my mom and wanna hit on her, she got fat tits, she'd probably be very flattered.

• 1:57:51Speaker 03

  You're gonna scare them away. You're gonna scare a good man away from your mom.

• 1:57:55Speaker 04

  I'm gonna scare a black dude away? I don't think that's happening.

• 1:57:57Speaker 03

  You are. You're gonna weird, you're gonna weird out a black dude.

• 1:58:01Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 1:58:01Speaker 03

  He's gonna be like, no, man, if you raise this guy, fuck that.

• 1:58:07Speaker 04

  I'm okay with that.

• 1:58:08Speaker 03

  Anyway, everybody, that's been our show for today. Make sure you check out Planet Bosa on Hulu. Also check out Formula Bean, where we're doing stupid shit all the time.

• 1:58:15Speaker 04

  You were supposed to plug that, uh, an hour and a half ago.

• 1:58:18Speaker 03

  We're supposed to plug that way earlier in the podcast. But also check out my buddy Jaime on the Fat Fish Podcast and, uh...

• 1:58:24Speaker 04

  Ralph will be on it sometimes.

• 1:58:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:58:26Speaker 06

  And on this one, never on this one. I'll be three years.

• 1:58:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:58:29Speaker 03

  I'll be back in three years to host again.

• 1:58:31Speaker 04

  2028. Can't wait.

• 1:58:32Speaker 03

  Okay, watch Street Fighter.

• 1:58:39Speaker 00

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