Ari Shaffir’s Craziest Travel Stories: Exorcisms, Prostitutes, and Magic Mushrooms | #697

YERRR – Ari is BACK from his no phone vagabond travels. From Brazilian bathhouses to Bukele’s El Salvador purge, this one’s half adventure, half insanity and all great stories. – Machu Picchu, Bolivia & winging life with no plan – Gangs, soccer, and whether people even understand evil – Joey Diaz, Ali Siddiq & comedy industry greed – Crying, fathers, freedom, and missing the road already – Witches, curses, food poisoning & packing way too light for someone's comfort All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Ari is BACK + Nothing really changes 2:50 1st week away + Mind exploded 7:07 meet people, “Theories” + Bath-houses 11:10 Brazil’s the 94yest + Mexican baseball 12:44 Reading, + Aussie Drogas 15:45 Interrogation, El Salvador + Bukele’s purge 25:24 Gangs LOVE soccer + don’t know evil 28:07 Bukele + Ger v Japan 34:30 Making friends, Hostels + Salt 37:30 Bolivia + People have power 42:30 Shaving it off, Touristy stuff + The Chinese 46:54 Machu Picchu 56:27 Winging it, BAGELs+ Solstice to solstice 1:06:52 Colombia, “The End” + Stories 1:25:40 Joey Diaz + Ali Siddiq + Comedy Central greed 1:42:01 “I love wrong” 1:$3:48 The Show must go on + Setting tone 1:52:05 Ari’s MSG prediction, SUPPORT + Need real stories 2:00:37 Dream guest + Importance of Sound 2:08:27 Crying + Relationship with father 2:12:40 Soccer, Sack liquor + Mexican Baseball 2:18:29 Missing the freedom + Sliding Doors moment 2:21:42 Consumed with politics 2:23:27 Food poisoning + Pack super light 2:29:42 Witches, The Curse + Black guinea pigs 2:47:02 World Cup predictions 2:49:11 Charms 2:51:37 Joy in seeing friends + Oasis 2:55:01 Famous comedians + Patagonia 2:57:41 Homesick, Pet tricks + Mexican popcorn 3:00:42 Don’t look at pictures + Support Ari This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  What's up everybody and welcome to Flagrant's and today we are joined by our dear friend, Ari Shaffir. He is back.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  We got dressed up for you. You got dressed up for us. You're gone for eight months. For people who don't know, you do this very cool thing where you tour stand up for a while.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  That is cool.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  You should try it.

• 0:28Speaker 00

  My manager would like that. So would my agent.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  These basketball teams are like, we have off nights.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  But yeah, you go for like a year or two. They put us something out and then you, you don't just go away. You like go away away.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  I go away.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  No phone.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, no phone. Or I got a new number so I can like deal with stuff while I'm gone.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Do you not do like the, what is it called?

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Email, lock myself out of email.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  No, no, no. There's like a, it's called a stupid phone or something.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  Where you can just text and.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  No, but I mean, I gave up all my numbers. I didn't like take any of my numbers.

• 1:03Speaker 00

  So nobody could message you?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Nobody could message me.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Okay. And you go away for eight months?

• 1:07Speaker 01

  I didn't want any of the, people are like, well, I want to be able to text you. I'm like, for what? What are you gonna tell me? How DEI hires are ruining America?

• 1:18Speaker 01

  You'll cover everything till I'm back.

• 1:20Speaker 00

  I wouldn't know.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  I don't need, I don't need to know any of this. We need to fill you in on so many.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  I know. That's so 2023 right there.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Hold on. I've been off the news before I left, but for real, since July, I don't know anything.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Anything.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Legitimately nothing.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  You're in the right place.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  So anything you tell me now? Hold on, how do we do this the best? Put a couple lies in here. So I don't know what's real, what's not.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  But yeah, I'm also not interested in hearing all this shit.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, you are probably right to not be interested because nothing really changes.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  I mean, everything changes and the world's falling apart, but like to you, is it?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I don't know. Everyone's still alive. We got back. Yeah, I don't.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  So we were just angry for eight months for nothing.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Cycles of like, we're supposed to care about this for a week or two.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  I don't think anything didn't get covered.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Taken care of.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  While I was gone, my, my interest in it isn't going to affect it.

• 2:19Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's almost like we could all turn our phones off for a minute.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  It's almost like that. It's almost like you're like, I can sit this one out.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  It's almost like the Hasidic Jews had it right all along, you know?

• 2:29Speaker 00

  Whoa, is that?

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Throw your phone.

• 2:34Speaker 00

  You do have a way of looking painfully Jewish when you come back.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Throw your phone and just come back.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  I want to ask for a loan right now.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Denied.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  Okay, okay, good.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  But I gotta put these away.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Take us through this like euphoric, like, the first week, what was it like? Is, do you reach for the phone at all? Like, give us the first week away.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  So, okay, yeah, great. First week is a dopamine drop.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  So you're sad?

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, uh, whatever you get on that, that keeps you like temporarily entertained and then like long-term depression.

• 3:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  You're not getting it.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  So you're like, I have withdrawal symptoms.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  And what is, how do the withdrawal manifest?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  It's cranky. It's like giving up cigarettes or giving up any drug, you know?

• 3:19Speaker 00

  Really?

• 3:20Speaker 01

  It's like my, my emotions aren't right.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Imagine taking a shit and not having something to scroll through like.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  I would rather my phone and toilet paper.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Bro, you gotta read the back.

• 3:30Speaker 00

  I would rather my phone and toilet paper than go take a shit.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. You gotta, yeah, exactly.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  So wait, so what do you do?

• 3:36Speaker 01

  You gotta read the back of a fucking raid can.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  I realize something.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  That shit, yeah. Okay, all right. So where does the bor, where does the most of the boredom hit you? Like, when you're in a new city, it's fun. You're seeing streets you've never seen, you're interacting with people, etc.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  I've met too many people at hostels that are like, I fucked up and I spent all night scrolling Facebook or something. Facebook, that means they're foreign, but like, but like, uh, and then like, oh, I couldn't go out with everybody the next day because I was tired. And you're like, you fucked up. You're in some crazy cool place and you just got connected at home.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, you ruined it.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  For the addiction. And they know, they're like, yeah, I fucked, I messed up.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they're addicted.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  But give, but give me the first experience of the dopamine.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Okay, so first, first I'm like, I gotta do something. I was at a beach, which was really helpful.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  Where?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Uh, Mexico.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Some tiny kind of beach in shoulder season. And it was just like, I decided, my friend Rolf Potts, the writer, he goes, get, get to a beach right away. So you lose track of time. And I decided I'm gonna stay there till I don't feel connected. Cause I've got six months. It's not a two-week vacation that I gotta like,

• 4:41Speaker 01

  get, get going. I'm like, I'm gonna stay. So there were like four days, not nearly enough, six days, and about, after about eight or nine days, I was like, Think I'm good. I was checking Yankee scores.

• 4:51Speaker 00

  How?

• 4:51Speaker 01

  For like the first four or five days.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  Laptop?

• 4:53Speaker 01

  No, I had a phone, but it just changed my number and I got a new phone. So I didn't take any contacts on it.

• 4:58Speaker 00

  No social media, but you still have the internet?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then I realized like, this is even, even ESPN.com is connecting me to... So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna log back in. I checked the date when it's about a week off in the playoffs. I'll see if they in it.

• 5:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  They were.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  I stayed with them until they got eliminated and then I went right back off.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. But then I filled in. Oaxaca, I found a fucking local baseball team that was headed into playoff season.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  Okay, so you find...

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Guerrero's. Shout out Guerrero's.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Number one team in Mexico League of Baseball.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  MLB.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  So you just replace it. We still need distraction. There isn't this world where we're just gonna like stare off into the distance and feel happy. We just can replace it with like a more satisfying...

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Fun new things.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Do you think of better ideas in the silence?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Bro. Yes.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  I really wanted you to say no.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:51Speaker 00

  I wanted to say no.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Not at all.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  I think I'm jerking off all day.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I started jerking off like this, silently, and devil handed. And I was like, I never would have come up with this idea with her emails.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  The Indian burn. The Indian burn's a classic. Because it's like all day, I'm like on my bike, I'm listening to music, I go home, I put on a podcast, I got a YouTube video, I'm going to sleep, but it's just like nonstop.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  It's clutter.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  And then I am in the shower and I'm like, I always think of good ideas in the shower.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Bro, this is gonna sound legitimately gay, and I hope if Shane Gillis, if you're watching, turn this off, because I know you'll make fun of me.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  My mind exploded after about two weeks with just thoughts. I was just like, what? Just like firing on all cylinders.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  Like what?

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Just new thoughts, creative ideas. This show that I just put out, I figured out a way to like, to start it and frame it all. I was like, oh, I know how to frame it as a, as a book with chapters. I, I just didn't have time to think.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  That's what I did last, I was a camp with Jew when I was in Southeast Asia. Where I was like, oh, I wanna do it about the how, and I'm not rushed in.

• 6:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Let me, well, how, how would I cover it? How would I do it all?

• 6:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just like, think clearly.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  This sounds awesome.

• 7:03Mark Gagnon?

  This sounds awesome.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  I wish I could do, I wish I could do this shit.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  You can.

• 7:06Mark Gagnon?

  Are you with a group of people or you're alone?

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, you meet people.

• 7:09Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Meet people at hostels.

• 7:12Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, you're like at hostels, you know? Oh, wow.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  It's the most social way to do it.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  That's also the best way to do it. I've seen people that go on like trips and they'll go to like Peru in the state of resort with a bunch of French people.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  And it's like, what's the point?

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Taking it in.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  You're staying in America in Peru.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, there's meeting locals and then there's meeting other travelers, which is mostly what I did.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  This was easier than Southeast Asia because at least there's one language. You're fluent in Spanish.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  I can speak.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can start to excel and really actually talk to people.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's great.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  And find out like, oh, my theories about you are wrong. Met a lot of people, I admit, some guy in like Peru.

• 7:44Speaker 00

  I love how you said theories instead of stereotypes.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  Tell us your theories.

• 7:51Speaker 00

  I have a theory of a Chinese tourist. I keep theories. I keep getting in trouble with my theories.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  I have this theory that you're gonna steal.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  My theory is you can't spell theory.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you meet villagers and like, how many kids? Like one, like one kid? And like, they're suspensive. I'm like, I wouldn't have thought you would think that way. Yeah, wow, okay. You just like, humanize people that you're like.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  Cause they don't have Mexicans to look after them.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Right. They gotta do it themselves.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  They're paying full freight, right?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then like, nothing is political to them. They're like, it rained early this year. I don't know, like, climate change? I'm like, they're like, yeah, what is that? Combiote climate? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, it has combiote a little bit. Is that a right wing or a left wing view? Like, I mean, it's a farmer's almanac view.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  I don't know what this is related to.

• 8:46Speaker 00

  Okay, brain, brain is exploding. You're actually thinking. It is funny because I always complain to the guys here after having two kids, I have no time to think.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  And I really just have no time to scroll forever. Like, I don't know if I had that much time where I just sat around fucking pondering.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Put it away.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I got it.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  It's so hard to put away.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  Why?

• 9:03Speaker 01

  It's so hard.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  You did it for eight months. Why is it hard?

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Well, I had to exit. I can't do it here, even if you lock yourself.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  I would argue what you did.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  Is, it's more difficult to put, when I'm on vacation, there's nothing stopping me from scrolling. I only podcast to not scroll.

• 9:23Mark Gagnon?

  It's not bad.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  Three days a week so I can have a fucking break.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:29Mark Gagnon?

  And sometimes you forget and still.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  It's a Tim Robinson sketch. If I lose an argument, I'll go my phone in the middle of it.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's like one big step and then you're, and then you're free. The schwitz, same thing.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  You go to the schwitz, like you're out of it. You see people in a sauna.

• 9:48Speaker 00

  What the schwitz is?

• 9:49Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Can you explain to the goys what the schwitz is?

• 9:52Speaker 01

  It's like a sauna.

• 9:53Mark Gagnon?

  You had a theory, I wouldn't know what that was.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  It's Jews and gays know it, um, and Russians. It's like the sauna and the.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  It's like sauna cold plunge, that kind of.

• 10:02Mark Gagnon?

  Like a bath house.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  In, in, yeah, a bath house.

• 10:04Mark Gagnon?

  Okay, okay.

• 10:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  By the way, New York is one of the few places where a bath house does not mean gay hookup site.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Is that right?

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you go, oh, I find a bath house in Portland and it's like, ah.

• 10:14Speaker 00

  No way.

• 10:15Mark Gagnon?

  One time, bath housing Barcelona, that was a mistake.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Good.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Really?

• 10:19Mark Gagnon?

  Naked dudes there.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Well, no, that doesn't mean they're gay.

• 10:21Mark Gagnon?

  No, no, no, but there was like stuff going on.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  These fucking locker rooms are gay.

• 10:28Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, but they was hooking up in the locker rooms.

• 10:30Speaker 00

  Saw guys sweat.

• 10:32Mark Gagnon?

  To gays.

• 10:33Speaker 00

  Nothing stops them. Nothing stops them. It's amazing. That's what happens when you don't have women. No, it's not. It's just women stop us. So when it's just another guy, where's the brake pad?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  I can touch you like, sure.

• 10:46Speaker 00

  I'm not scrolling. Not scrolling.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Carnival in Brazil where there's like gay sections and then, and then like some guy will step, like they'll be talking and some guy will walk by and they're just like, touch their pecs like this and then go. Then back to their.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  What? Like it's a museum? Doing that to a chick and he's like.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  It's like a dog. You just like pet it a little bit, move on.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  I'm allowed.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  I saw you talking about that Brazil is the gayest place you've ever been.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Dog gay.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  How?

• 11:14Speaker 01

  It's so, I, it's gay friendly. They're everywhere.

• 11:16Speaker 00

  Really?

• 11:17Speaker 01

  I mean, I've been to San Francisco, nothing. No offense, San Francisco. It's all of Brazil.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Really?

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. And they, they don't care there.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  But they got the baddest women.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Well, that's why they're so hot. Cause they're trying to compete.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  They gotta work harder.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, pressure makes diamonds. Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Oh, the butts are shaved different there.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Bathing suits are made different. Cause our bathing suits wouldn't fit them.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  And what about the women's butts?

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Son of a bitch.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  It's been eight months away.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Alright, so you take on, you bought, what, you bought the Mexican baseball team?

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Guerrero's. I'm like sick. They're my team now. Follow them all the way through Guatemala. You can go like pirate this game in, in a bar. Like we can play anything on YouTube. Nobody cares about us.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Why'd you pick them? You just saw the game?

• 12:12Speaker 01

  They had, there was like, there's a team in, in, in, there's a Mexican baseball league and there was a team in Oaxaca. I was like, ah, the season just ended and like playoffs. Shit, they're the third seed. I'm following them. Go to a game. It's so much fun. I was like, I didn't eat that day. Cause I was like, I'm gonna get a hot dog. I didn't eat late. I'm gonna get a hot dog at a game. No, I'm full burrito plate. 12 year old girl selling beer. Legit 12 year olds. Like what do you want? Like what are you selling? Like churro. I'm like, no way. Yes. Get me a fucking michelada.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Oh, how good is that?

• 12:43Speaker 00

  Oh. So what is our baseline? What do we need? We need sport?

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, some fun.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  Or something to follow?

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:49Speaker 00

  Book? Did you get into any reading? I'm trying to think, what is my life without scrolling? What is my life without the phone?

• 12:55Speaker 01

  But I brought a book of short stories with me. Uh, like, like best short stories of the year. They come out every year. And I read like four of them. I carried this book around with me for eight months. And I read four of them. Yeah. No, I was journaling sometimes.

• 13:09Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  But that's just so, so I can remember shit later.

• 13:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Drugs.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Women.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Women, uh, yeah. Fucked a little bit, but also like. Yeah, drugs is great. Finding weed is like an adventure.

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Every time, because I don't go over borders with it.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  Smart.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  So, yeah, so whatever I have, I'm like dump, start over, dump, start over.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  It's always an adventure to find weed.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  Why is it an adventure to find weed where they make it?

• 13:35Speaker 01

  You gotta find. It's always easier. Countries are easier. They just come by, like, who wants joints? And then other countries are like, you gotta find a guy making his own jewelry in like a town square. And then you're like, dude.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  You got a little something.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. And if they're like, no, I don't sell, but they're gonna be like, I know the, wait here. So, yeah, that's fun.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Coke?

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Mushrooms. Yeah, if you meet an Australian, you're doing coke.

• 13:57Speaker 00

  Why do they love it? We were trying to solve this, but they love it.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Australians love it.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  They get the worst coke in the world. They, it's all cut up and shitty and expensive. So then when they go anywhere else, they're like, I've never experienced coke like this.

• 14:09Speaker 00

  But they also love it there.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  They love it there. And it's so bad.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  And why is it, you'd think you could get good coke to Australia. It's not this.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:19Speaker 00

  I think they had to put up with the accent so they're like, I need to forget, I need to get, I need to be.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  But it's all coastline. You don't think you could sneak some coke into Australia?

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Who's swimming there?

• 14:29Speaker 00

  Take a boat.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  Get a boat.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  And they also have the strictest border control.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  You remember going through Australian security?

• 14:38Speaker 00

  What was, oh, yeah, because they gotta deal with the Asians, yeah. No, it is the funniest.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  He pointed this out to me. We were looking at like the immigration form and it was like, have you been near cattle? And I was like, okay, we've seen that.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  And it was like, have you touched fireworks? We're like, all right, you know, whatever. It was like, do you have an insect in your bag? Are you traveling?

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Like a good luck insect?

• 14:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Are you transporting like a raw turkey in a box in your overhead?

• 14:59Speaker 00

  No, live livestock. Like, they would ask you, are you bringing any livestock?

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Asians are wild.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  It says find food there.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  But they don't trust it.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  They don't trust it.

• 15:07Speaker 00

  They're like, we're not gonna be able to get a chicken in Australia. They'll just take the chicken with them. For real.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 00

  There's a, there's a whole show about this. There's like a custom show.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's literally like a border patrol.

• 15:18Speaker 00

  But in Australia?

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  And the whole thing is predicated on Asians bringing wild shit to Australia.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  They should ask on that form, like, will you take a picture with an iPad in front of people?

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Have you done that in the last 30 days? Have you blocked a sunset to take a picture with a laptop?

• 15:37Speaker 01

  You cannot come in here.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  What was your least favorite?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Worst tourist in the world, mainlanders, what?

• 15:44Speaker 00

  What was your least favorite place you go to? On this trip?

• 15:47Speaker 01

  I mean, they were all so fun. Nicaragua was tough.

• 15:50Speaker 00

  Why?

• 15:51Speaker 01

  They didn't let me in.

• 15:52Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 15:52Speaker 01

  They said no. I took a two and a half hour boat from El Salvador. Land. Then they're like, let's check, they check for drones. Drones are illegal. Press is illegal.

• 16:04Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  I'm not press, but I guess not enough to them.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  So they saw the podcast, so they do like a...

• 16:10Speaker 01

  They start calling Managua, this guy's on the phone, grilling me. I mean, so everyone else, like one at a time, Stamp goes in. Ari Shaffir, I'm playing with a street dog.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  Oh, you've got a travel show, dude. That's probably what it is.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. But it wasn't, it was two and a half hours of interrogation. It was, come in, I'm like, come in. I don't remember anyone else going in. And then they go, close the door behind you. I'm like, what?

• 16:36Speaker 00

  You couldn't sneak into Nicaragua?

• 16:41Speaker 00

  How are they getting in here? What skills do they have that I don't have?

• 16:47Speaker 01

  It's a one-way border.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  You have American prisoners getting sent to Central America.

• 16:53Speaker 00

  You willingly wanted to go there. It seems suspicious. Why is it they turned you away?

• 16:58Speaker 01

  They go, they go, you have a lot of Instagram followers, huh? And I was like, Schultz does not agree.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  Don't Schultz.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  He says I don't have new, you know. He says I'm not committing hard enough. That's growing my fanbase. I'm like, thank you, I'll let him know.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  My friends actually mock me.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, and they go, and then they ask me what I do, how many people I play for, how much, how much do I sell tickets for? And then calls from Managua, calls from Managua every 20 minutes. And the guy's cool, he's talking to me. And then, hold on, phone's ringing. What are you planning on doing here? I don't know, go to cigar places? Which ones? Okay, cool. Then talking again.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  They were really friendly. They brought me a cigar.

• 17:36Speaker 00

  And then they just said no.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  The guy said, I'm really sorry, man. He got the phone call, his voice went down. He goes, I, I, you gotta go back.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Go back to?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  El Salvador.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  So you just turn around and they put you on a bus?

• 17:48Speaker 01

  They put me on a boat back to, um, uh, the border town in El Salvador.

• 17:53Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  I land and they're like, what?

• 17:55Speaker 00

  What are you doing here?

• 17:55Speaker 01

  We just sent you off seven hours ago. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  So now is El Salvador a little worried? They're like, why'd they say no to you?

• 18:03Speaker 01

  No, it happens all the time. Actually, he said he couldn't talk to me because I was like, this happens all the time? He goes, oh, he was getting shady, um, the captain. And he goes, uh, and then finally he was like, oh, I'll talk to him. Like, what was going on? He goes, that was the, on the boat back with you was the Nicaraguan, like, um, border force chief.

• 18:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  So I couldn't like speak freely in front of him.

• 18:24Speaker 00

  Oh, shit.

• 18:24Mark Gagnon?

  Whoa.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  But he goes, this happens like once every week or two.

• 18:27Mark Gagnon?

  Did they warn you about it before? Like, hey, just so you know, they've been turning people away.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  No, but I did just warn somebody who's getting married in Nicaragua. I was like, wipe everyone's LinkedIn with any journalism shit. Like all of that, they will Google you.

• 18:39Mark Gagnon?

  You don't want the in-laws going, in which case.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  You didn't try to just slip them something? I didn't think of it. But man, bribes are fun.

• 18:47Mark Gagnon?

  I mean, and it works in Mexico all, all the time.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  But does it work at the fucking border?

• 18:52Speaker 01

  It's tough totalitarian regime. At, at minimum, they're gonna go, I can't.

• 18:56Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  They're not gonna be that mad.

• 18:57Mark Gagnon?

  You just like drop it.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:58Mark Gagnon?

  Like, you'd be like, oh, whoops.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 19:00Mark Gagnon?

  And then, you know.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Here's a nickel, change your life.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  That's, yeah, that's, yeah, I wasn't thinking clearly.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  How?

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Absolutely, I shouldn't have done that.

• 19:10Mark Gagnon?

  I got some stuff.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  All right, guys, here's all our dates in 30 seconds. First of all, Nashville, thank you guys so much for the so that weekend. Love seeing you guys. Great to be back out on stage again. Uh, this weekend, we got Rhode Island, okay? Saturday at the Providence Performing Arts Center. Uh, then, uh, May 8th, Los Angeles Jelly Roll Show, part of the Netflix is a Joke Festival. And then August 8th, Halifax, Nova Scotia. Tickets available at theatreshow.com.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Oh, it's me. Nice. Guys, I'm gonna be doing my monthly show at Mary Lou on March 31st. And then I'm doing a show at Sesh Comedy on April 3rd. It's like a headlining show. We got a magician coming through, a bunch of other comedians. That's kind of a fun vibe. And then, uh, mic drop in Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, San Diego, all happening at the end of the year. And Detroit, too. See you there.

• 19:58Speaker 00

  How clean is El Salvador?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  El Salvador is one of the most interesting places I went to.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what I wanna... What is the feeling there?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  They cleaned the whole thing up. Like, this is the perception.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. So when you go to these places, you are at a crossroads of I know things about the world that was given to me, and then here's my actual now...

• 20:20Speaker 00

  Opinion on it.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  You're like, oh. I talked to Rogan, and he's like, I remember once we were on, and Norman mentioned, I took the subway over there. Joe's like, "Take the subway?" And Mark's like, "Yeah." And Joe's like, "Why?" He goes, "It's faster." But, because in Joe's world, everyone's getting pushed every time you take the subway.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  And you're like, if you actually came here, that's just not the reality.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  It's bums pushing bums.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Which would be, oh, what a good TV show. Bums pushing bums on subway tracks.

• 20:52Speaker 00

  Bum fights. You don't remember that? That was classic. Yeah, that's a classic.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  That's a Squid Games one. Subway's coming up. You go in.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's that. So El Salvador, whatever media told me, like, this guy's a totalitarian.

• 21:06Speaker 00

  Used to be the highest murder rate in South America, or the Americas in general. And now he cleaned it up, and it's the safest country.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Gangs are done.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  Done.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:14Speaker 00

  So it works.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  He didn't even go, "I'm giving you a week to clean up." He goes, "I'm coming for you now."

• 21:18Speaker 00

  Now.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Arrested or killed, every one of them. And I had this thing in my head that I kinda, they were like, if you have tattoos, they'll take away your civil rights and maybe put you in jail for tattoos. And you get there, like, no. It's specific tattoos.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  It is, here's a loved one I've... Yes. Street cred for raping a sister or something like that. Here's the badge number of a cop I killed.

• 21:42Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Those are the tattoos. And so they might go, let me see your arm, let me see your tattoos. And then they go, they go, that's fine, go. It's not, they're not just arresting random people.

• 21:50Speaker 00

  And the people there seemed to be supportive?

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Beyond, they had no country.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  I took a tour in Santa Marta and it was this guy, he was cool. He goes, uh, he was like, okay, I'll show you the church, whatever. And he goes, hey, if you guys want now, it's up to you. I can show you the sights or you can ask me real questions. And we go to a coffee shop, no one's listening.

• 22:10Speaker 00

  I love fire, yes. Okay, so what, what happened?

• 22:13Speaker 01

  So my first question was like, hey, how come from the Guatemala to here border? So indigenous, all the, and then as soon as you get over the border, it's not even, none. They go, oh, look it up. In like the forties or seventies, there was a bounty on their heads and they murdered all of them.

• 22:27Speaker 00

  In El Salvador, they murdered all the indigenous population? Whoa.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, so the rest went into hiding and now there just is no.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  Seventies is wild.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was late.

• 22:35Speaker 00

  Like the nineteen seventies?

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, nineteen seventies or forties, I don't remember, but it was pretty recent. And, and so I was like, good answer. But then he's like, I'm like, wow, I thought it was something else.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  A truthful answer.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Something else.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  I don't know. A good man's solution. That's a good answer to the question, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  So this guy had left.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  This guy had left. Shout out Jorge, Jorge's walking tours. But he goes, look around. He left and came back, goes, every one of my friends, when I left at 12 is dead or in prison. I don't have any left that are not dead or in prison. He goes, look around, there is not a single man between 20 and 40 here.

• 23:12Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  No, they lost their country to gangs. It wasn't like crime is tough. It's, it's on another level that we don't really understand.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  So it needed an extreme response, or at least that's how they would justify it.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  Did you ask?

• 23:25Speaker 01

  So everyone I met, like this guy's a hero.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  Of course, of course, of course.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  What do you think of our guy? He's the best. I, I was there for their July 4th.

• 23:32Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  And like, we couldn't do this. People taking their young daughters, like I couldn't have done this three years ago, four years ago. I'm showing her the Capitol for the first time. And then they were like, where are you from? Like New York, like, is that America? And I'm like, yeah. They're like, what's it like there? They were so, everywhere else, like gringos go home. There, they're like, tell people it's safe, come.

• 23:51Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  They were so open and, and fresh and new. It was, it was just really interesting.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  Did he say anything critical? Did you ask?

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, so some people go, he extended his term limits.

• 24:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  But this guy also arrested a bunch of senators and congressmen one day. He went in, said, "Open your books, I'm gonna balance your budgets," whatever, and he goes, "Now I'm gonna look deeper. If you've taken a bribe from a gang, you're going to jail today."

• 24:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  And wheeled them all out.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Like that day.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  That's fire.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Fire.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  Yes, fire. It's the most fire. The concern is always like, what happens when people stay in power?

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Right, so that's it. So like, what if he doesn't get power? Like, it's better than it was.

• 24:31Speaker 00

  Oh, without a doubt.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  If he becomes a king, it's better than it was.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you're a good king, it's fire. But like Saddam King is... Saddam did the purge also.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  They loved him.

• 24:40Speaker 00

  Everybody does the purge.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  And eventually you get high off your own supply and absolute power corrupts, absolutely. That is the concern, but I'm just curious.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  He doesn't take a paycheck, doesn't get paid for being president.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't like that.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  What?

• 24:53Speaker 02

  What is it? He has like a Patreon?

• 24:54Speaker 01

  He's like, "We lost our country."

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Only fan. What's his thing?

• 25:01Speaker 01

  He makes handicrafts on that seat.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  He's trying to bring back indigenous rights. Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but everyone there loves it. The people who left and came back, they're the ones going, "I'm not sure."

• 25:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, tell me what they say. Give me the pushback, because I've heard...

• 25:14Speaker 01

  They go, "What if he never gives up power?" Because they weren't there. I'm gonna tell you a story and you can cut this out if you want. But this is what the captain told me.

• 25:21Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  In this poor town, he goes, "They got so high on power, you should consider cutting this out." But they got so high on power, they got into witchcraft. They thought they were unstoppable and they got to a point where they were finding pregnant women, cutting their fetuses out and playing soccer with it.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  Who is "they"? The cartels?

• 25:42Speaker 01

  The gangs.

• 25:42Speaker 00

  The gangs.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Holy moly.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  So you can't have, you can't have a society like that. So they like, this guy, Bukele, is...

• 25:50Speaker 00

  They love soccer.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  They love it. It is... They... It's just a thing.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  It wasn't about the abortion.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  No, they love.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  It was about the love of soccer.

• 26:03Speaker 00

  Soccer, like, think about how much you gotta love soccer.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  And it does kinda look like a ball.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  Think about it. The first thing they do after the witchcraft is, you trying to play some soccer? They could've just done the cauldron and do whatever.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  I don't even think they wanna do witchcraft, bro.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  They just have soccer.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  I think they're like, "Do you have a ball?" And they're like, "She does."

• 26:25Mark Gagnon?

  And us fat Americans put babies on pizzas and shit like that.

• 26:34Speaker 00

  So, this is horrible, but it's so funny. We put the babies on food. They play soccer. That is the difference. That is the difference. And we're all going to hell. We're gonna see him down there. Hey, guys, we'll see you soon.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  But wait, we have to cut it out because it's graphic?

• 26:56Speaker 01

  It's just, like, no one wants to hear this.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I thought it was gonna be like-

• 26:59Speaker 01

  You don't have to. It's up to you.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  I thought you were gonna like confess a crime or something. I thought you were gonna say you did it.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  So I gave up baseball. Did you play any soccer with him?

• 27:09Speaker 01

  All bounce funny. I couldn't put my finger on it. But it wasn't taking true bounces. Just funny hops every time.

• 27:17Mark Gagnon?

  Every time it's a goal, it's like, "Whew!"

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Why do you stop yourself?

• 27:24Speaker 00

  I stopped myself.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  Well, at least quit it.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, stop, man, stop.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  So, so that was an interesting thing to face, like, what I had heard about a place versus what it was.

• 27:32Speaker 00

  So we don't know the evils that were transpiring at the time. What we're hearing is gang activity, and we have our own interpretations.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Too tough on crime.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  Exactly. And what their justification is, is literally, we didn't have a country anymore. Every young man was in a gang, and they were doing the absolutely most insane shit ever. And then this guy comes around and he has the courage to fight it, to fight, you know, putting his life on the line. And you hope that it wouldn't devolve into another abuse of power in the way that the cartels are abusing power. That's the idea.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Right. But also, right, but it's so much that it doesn't matter. But then I think, okay, so like, remember when like- I'll get to like vaccine shit. Remember those commercials like sponsored by Pfizer? Sponsored by Pfizer, sponsored by Pfizer. Where you see all the news and you're like, oh, and the news is the one pushing. You have to get these.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, it seems like.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, okay, I see where they're vested interest in this.

• 28:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  Of making me think I need this thing. Right or wrong, I see why they want me to think it.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  So what is it about the media here? That got me into my head thinking this guy's evil? What?

• 28:33Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  What are they gaining by that?

• 28:35Speaker 00

  So this is an interesting question.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  I don't know. But it's, these aren't my own, I didn't do the research to come up with that. It was given to me.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  Right. And what do you think it is?

• 28:47Speaker 01

  It's possible they're doing deals with China. And they go, no, we want in there.

• 28:53Speaker 00

  So I didn't hear anything about. I didn't hear anything negative about him. I thought he was actually celebrated, to be honest, like early on.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  When he first started. No, when he first started, I heard a lot of celebrations around him.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 29:06Speaker 00

  Aide Boukale is his name, right?

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  And then I remember there were certain things happening like, remember he like took a big stake in Bitcoin or something or made?

• 29:15Speaker 01

  He tried to make the country go Bitcoin. He's only concerned with helping other countries to go, if we. They were using the US dollar.

• 29:22Speaker 00

  Right.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Which like Ecuador does, a lot of countries do, Cambodia.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  But like. And somebody, I think a Bitcoin guy reached out to him on Twitter and goes, let me help your currency. You should destabilize it or whatever it's called and go with that. And I'm listening.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Come down, let's meet.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  And maybe that threatens like American hegemon.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  That's it. Where they talk about the gold standard shit that I don't understand.

• 29:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, me, I don't understand either. But like, it seems to me that, you know, if he's.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  And then he talks to Trump, which the liberals will go, fuck you, how dare you.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  But this guy's, by the way, right now, he goes, open a business here, no taxes. Zero.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  For like five years until we revisit and we won't ever back that. Just open.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  That's the tricky thing with investment, I imagine in any place in the third world, which is like, how can I ensure the safety? It's just the risk. It's not even the third world. It's like, I'd love to open a restaurant in, you know, downtown or what's it called? The south side of Chicago.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Downtown Beirut?

• 30:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Downtown Beirut?

• 30:21Speaker 00

  But uh.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  I think it's two things where like Americans have such a like premium on freedom. That, oh, this person gets locked up because their uncle was in a gang.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Goes against like the.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  Our ethos.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Our ethos.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  But then in addition to that, I think any type of like authoritarian straw man in Central America, really around the world that doesn't have like absolute fealty to America.

• 30:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Gets a bad rap. Either through a coup or through a media campaign.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it could be that for sure, just the not using the dollar. Yeah, it could be a lot of stuff.

• 30:50Speaker 00

  We also don't want that trend to continue in America, right? It's like, we don't want this guy to, all of a sudden, one guy takes total control and the country starts doing amazing. And then you don't want Americans to be like, that sounds like a good idea.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 31:01Speaker 00

  So, yeah, that's a.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  But it's interesting. It's interesting going in these places. I'm like, this isn't what I had heard.

• 31:06Speaker 00

  So the feeling was, was love and support, and it wasn't love and support out of fear. Like if I say something bad, I could get arrested. It was love and support out of we have a way of life now.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Did you talk to people whose family members were unfairly arrested? Like, did you hear any of those stories?

• 31:19Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Like, oh, my cousin got jammed up and it wasn't his fault.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  So Jorge has a lot of tattoos. This guy gives doors and he goes, I get harassed. I get strip searched. That is annoying.

• 31:27Speaker 00

  That's the cost.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  It's beyond annoying. It's, I'm trying to do my day. I assume it's kind of like if you have a nice car, maybe not in New York, but from what I remember in college, it was like, I'm black, I have a nice car. I can't make movies on time because there's a chance I get pulled over.

• 31:40Mark Gagnon?

  They used to have like stop and frisk here like crazy and I used to get pulled over all the time.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, and after a while you're like, and that's the, the resistance. We're like, get off me. Like, oh, you fucked up. And that's like, take the time.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  And so that's annoying for him, but he wasn't there watching some of this terrible stuff.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  Oh, he moved there.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  His parents sent him away to Guatemala.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  So he came back in his twenties. By the way, side effect of no man between 20 and 40?

• 32:04Speaker 00

  A ton of chicks. That was the other thing I was gonna ask. They said that about Russia post-World War II.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:09Speaker 00

  Like 25 million dudes or whatever get murdered.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  Not murdered, they die in war or whatever.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  You're like, I'm not committing.

• 32:15Speaker 00

  No, they said that like every dude would have five or six chicks and he could be an absolute alcoholic. And the women just had to put up with it.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  It's like one to two. I mean, like, I think like a quarter of the population dies.

• 32:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Real.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  Stalin bred.

• 32:26Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, yeah. What happens to the population now that you don't have men?

• 32:28Speaker 01

  They get weird.

• 32:29Mark Gagnon?

  Like, it's gonna decline, sure.

• 32:30Speaker 00

  Well, sometimes there's a sexual revolution, right? Because the chick's gotta be a little bit more open or else you're never gonna have a guy.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Two things can happen. This is just like. Germany and Japan.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Facing the horrors that happened in World War Two. So Germany, their music and their styles went very industrial. Dance like this now, you know, in like warehouses. Japan went into, if you could kill a million people in a second. They went fetal. They went feral, not feral. It's childlike.

• 32:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:59Speaker 01

  They love Hello Kitty.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  They do that where it's like, we can't be adults in this world.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  Whoa. Interesting. That's definitely with the women there. When I was in, when I was in, uh, in Japan, I noticed that. I was like, oh, there's no, um. There's no, there's no like elegance, just cutesy.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Cutesy, right.

• 33:18Speaker 00

  Women are cutesy. But they're not like, there's no like thirty-four-year-old, beautiful, elegant woman that you see. It's just teenage, tiny, and then like grandmas. There's this gap. And I don't know if like, it is weird because if you're like a twenty-year-old dude, like, are you kind of into these?

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Do you become into it then?

• 33:37Speaker 00

  It is odd.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  What about all the broken homes? Cause like now you have a bunch of houses where no dad's there and stuff like that.

• 33:44Speaker 00

  What are the girls acting like?

• 33:45Speaker 01

  In El Salvador?

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Didn't, I didn't really, I didn't really meet many locals in El Salvador. I hung out with like a German couple.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  I didn't really meet, I didn't really meet locals there. A couple, but like not really.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  That is the thing that happens when you're traveling is like, even when you meet the people who live there. They're kind of like you in that they're a little bit outsiders as well. Did you find this? Like when I lived in Spain, like all of my friends, they were from Spain. But it was like, it was like, his dad was the first black dude in San Sebastian.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  That's why he'd be friends with you, he was like.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  He, cause he's like, I'm a little bit of an outsider here too. So you can, you end up kind of connecting with the people who are going through the experience in the same way.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  When'd you live in Spain?

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Uh, took a year off college.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Interesting, gap year. Good idea.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  What's your pick-up line when you're trying to make friends? Like if you're, if you're like traveling alone and you wanna not be alone, what do you do?

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, so if you go through like loneliness and then like social, loneliness and social. So. One weapon I have is that I have some minor level of fame. And I didn't get recognized a lot, but when I do, at a hostel.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  It's a weapon. I'm like, we're going. In Peru, this guy was like, this New Zealand guy was like, you could tell when somebody recognized you. And it's like, and then I saw him do that, I'm like, fine, whatever. But I was also feeling like, I'm lonely.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  And he goes, what's your name? Like, you know what my fucking name is?

• 35:05Speaker 00

  He said that to him?

• 35:08Speaker 01

  And he's like, what are you doing here? I'm like, I've heard this from New Zealand pedophiles and I gotta find it.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  You want, I'm like, get me a drink. And he's like, alright. And now it's like, you know, that night, that night, he's got Australian friends, we're doing blow in the bathroom. And it's like, let's go.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  That's funny, I'm surprised they're not sad for you, like, what are you doing at a hostel?

• 35:27Speaker 00

  That's why they're not clocking it.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  This guy's rich.

• 35:31Speaker 01

  I thought, damn, if you can't afford a hotel.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  That's the upside for us.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Oh boy.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Uh, I love hostels. They're so fun. It's just other travelers talking about where else they've been.

• 35:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  Like Bolivia, I was like, I don't go to Bolivia. And everyone you meet in Guatemala is like, no, Bolivia rules.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  Did you do the, uh, what is that, um, salt flats?

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Uni, yeah.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  What is it called?

• 35:49Speaker 01

  The uni salt flats.

• 35:50Speaker 00

  Uni salt flats, yeah, what is it like?

• 35:52Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Can we get a pic?

• 35:53Speaker 01

  It looks like, it looks like snow.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  It looks like a snow, it's salt that has come up.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  Look at this.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:00Speaker 00

  So the, and there's what?

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Oh, that's when it rains. When it rains, I didn't go in that season. It's just sheer, it looks like a glass.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  And a perfect reflection of the sky.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  But all the ground is, and all the, the water, see the, the grid over there, looks like a soccer ball?

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Right, so the water's trying to escape and it comes up in these like grid, but it's just for, forever.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Oh wow.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  I mean, miles and miles.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  They love soccer, bro.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Love soccer.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  So wait, and what do you do there? Cause it's, it's like, what, four hours, six hours?

• 36:27Speaker 01

  I stayed in a salt hotel. The walls are lickable.

• 36:30Speaker 00

  No.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, like, everything is carved out of salt.

• 36:34Speaker 00

  Do you think there's some guy who jerks off on the wall like, man, when someone licks?

• 36:37Speaker 01

  I know there was one.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Every month, Alex stays in a salt hotel.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  I actually know that there was that.

• 36:46Speaker 00

  Okay, okay, so you say it's a salt hotel?

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, a salt hotel, you just, you go on these hikes, you, you bike over it. It's just like cool to see.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Um, uh, um, yeah, there's no like culture, they just like mine it, it's salt.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Do people live out there as a tourist thing?

• 37:01Speaker 01

  No, they did, for a while, and then like, they mined it for commerce. And now they're like, it's also a tourist thing.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Cause it is like, pretty, there's an island on it, it comes up and it's like cacti. And then like, it just looks like snow. And also the, um, distance effect is weird, so you can take pictures like that. See that chick on the right?

• 37:19Speaker 00

  Oh wow.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  So you can't tell how far everything is.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  God, because it's so flat.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I took pictures, all I had with me was, was, uh, Burt's shoes. So I took a picture with these giant Burt shoes with me leaning on them. I gotta send them to you, yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Isn't that weird? And they're just like further.

• 37:36Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  That's sick.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's they're fun to take.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  Okay, the rest of Bolivia, how was the rest of Bolivia?

• 37:42Speaker 01

  Sick.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  This is your first time to Bolivia?

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you've been?

• 37:45Speaker 00

  No, but it's been a place I wanted to check out.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, very interesting culture. I was there when they, um, like, uh, got rid of their leader. Dude, I was in two places where they got rid of their leader while I was there.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  The fuck?

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  Bolivia and Iran?

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Peru. I was in Abancay, I was in Abancay, a nothing town.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  It happened to be in all these countries where two's have.

• 38:10Speaker 00

  That's how you don't go to Nicaragua.

• 38:15Mark Gagnon?

  I just came back from Venezuela.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  What kind of CIA office this?

• 38:19Speaker 00

  That is crazy, you were in South America while this shit went down?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  I was in the city that the president was from when they got rid of her.

• 38:26Speaker 00

  Got rid of means what? There's some form of a?

• 38:29Speaker 01

  It wasn't, no, it wasn't like pit for us.

• 38:30Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  Um, and so, which was interesting, and then, um, that same city was a nothing town. I was trying to ameliorate, is that right? To, to Cusco, to get rid of, get used to the, um, altitude.

• 38:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  I was stopping at town one day.

• 38:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're like, she's from here, and they got rid of her, because she wasn't hard enough on crime. They saw what Bukele was doing.

• 38:49Speaker 00

  And they're like, we want that.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  They're like, yeah, how come we're, how come our fucking bus drivers are getting murdered by Venezuelan gangs?

• 38:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Because you can't fucking do anything. They're shaking down these bus drivers for like a buck a day, but they're like, that's killing me.

• 39:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  One bus driver said, no, I'm not paying you guys anymore. They just like, well, we gotta kill you. Massive protests in the streets, and they got rid of her. And then the leader of Congress took over, and then I, you could ask questions, and I'm like, why was it the leader of Congress? You don't have like vice presidents here, I just like want to know about their system. And they go, no, no, she was the vice president. We got rid of the president a year ago. She was the vice president, she took over, we got rid of her. It's like, they just go, we're done with you. They, they have power down there.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  Kind of cool.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  The people have power.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  I mean, that is democracy in action.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  They're so crooked everywhere, but the people can, can do stuff.

• 39:37Speaker 00

  Are the, and the people are aware of how crooked it is, yet they don't accept it. Whereas in other parts of the world, they know that the government is crooked, they just kind of accept this as the status quo.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Australia, they just do blow and get drunk.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  Because.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  We know it's crooked.

• 39:49Speaker 00

  So it is what it is. Why the fuck are we gonna fight?

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Here, we still think we have a chance to change it.

• 39:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  When we don't, there they're like, we know we don't. Let's, let's drink.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  And the standard of living is good enough, I guess.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  That's right. That's, I think that's the difference. It's like, if the standard of living isn't good enough, you're like, well, if we're gonna suffer, we might as well fight this shit.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:05Speaker 00

  If there's cocaine that's just good enough.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:07Speaker 00

  And the weather's perfect every single day, and I can go to the fucking beach and everybody's in good shape. What, what am I gonna bitch about the government for?

• 40:13Speaker 01

  So I was taking some Spanish class in the north, and the guy at the end of class every day, he goes, let's talk about, let's use your Spanish and talk about the culture here, so we can actually put your Spanish into play. Every like month or so, I'm like, let me take a couple days class, so I can get by better. Yeah. Um, I'd see like I'm hitting a wall.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  In my conversation, this isn't fun.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Let me, let me stop. Um, and he was talking about the government. He goes, Trump's your guy, right? I'm like, yeah. He goes, everybody thinks he's crooked. I'm like, yeah. He goes, so there, he controls Congress, the senate maybe, but he doesn't control the media. Here, they also control the media. So you can't even find, I go, do you know about the protests that are happening now? I'm like, no. He goes, right.

• 40:51Speaker 00

  Exactly, yeah.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  You could only find out on TikTok or Instagram.

• 40:55Speaker 00

  And they don't, uh, what, not sanction those? They don't, uh, shut those down, or they don't, uh?

• 40:59Speaker 01

  I guess it's like outside, they don't control it. So, yeah, right.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  They can just not allow the act to work.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  Like China, um, but they don't, but.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 41:07Speaker 01

  So it's like a different thing. So in Bolivia, they had a guy for 20 years. And what he did was, he said, farmers are more important. He ran the media too. They run the media. He goes, farmers are more important to our society than city folk.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  We've heard this one before.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  So he goes, I'm giving farmers a two to one vote over city folk.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  Now, city folk could see the problems with their country.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Farmers are just getting it from the radio, which is run by the government.

• 41:35Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Who's saying everything's great. So they're going, no, this guy's great. Everything's really nice. There's no crime.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  And then they couldn't outvote the, the two to one rural people.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  And then finally they did. And I was in Bolivia in Sucre, and there were all these streets. It was just cool to be in these places.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  It was still currently two to one while you were there, and then they overthrew it?

• 41:53Speaker 01

  So I was, I was like, why are these streets blocked off? They're like inauguration. And I'm like, oh, what do you mean? They're like, the new guy's taking over right now. And I'm like, when? They're like, you wanna go? I was like, yeah, I wanna go. And I saw him get inaugurated. This new guy and everyone was crying and like, it's really cool. It's fun.

• 42:11Speaker 00

  And what did, what did they, sorry, go Mark.

• 42:13Speaker 02

  No, did you like sense the hope? Like was everyone just so overwhelmingly optimistic?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  It wasn't like us, four years, eight years, whatever, like they, 20 years. If you're 30, you've never, you don't remember him not being the guy.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  The guy's in charge for, yeah, two decades.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Would you go past?

• 42:28Speaker 00

  Wow, wow. Okay, so when they see you there.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  In Bolivia?

• 42:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're 6'2".

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I took a, 6'2 and a half.

• 42:38Speaker 00

  Alright, so you're 6'3", you're bearded, are you bearded up?

• 42:43Speaker 01

  So I, so I shaved my beard. I had a layover in Mexico City. I shaved everything at the Mexico City Lounge. Um, you ever, dude, pro tip, use the shower in those lounges.

• 42:56Speaker 00

  Oh, it's awesome.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  If you're at a layover, you were fresh.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  They had one, I was like, hook it up, and then I just shaved everything. I took a shaver. You went clean, and then I haven't touched it since then.

• 43:05Speaker 00

  Okay, alright.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  So that beard, Bolivia would have been probably two months of beard.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  Oh, so you have a little something.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Probably about, maybe that level.

• 43:13Speaker 00

  I'm just trying to understand how they're interpreting you. Are they thinking you're a local in any way, shape or form?

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Sucre is a, uh, language class town.

• 43:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  A lot of people go there and so they're used to some whites.

• 43:25Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  It's not that isolationist like else.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  But they're, they're seeing you as white, because I think a lot of, the misconception that I think a lot of Americans have of South America is that it's no white people, where it's like there are tons.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Tons of whites.

• 43:37Speaker 00

  Tons of whites.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  There's, there's immigration for years and years and years.

• 43:40Speaker 00

  Exactly. So is there any point in time where they're kind of seeing you as a local?

• 43:44Speaker 01

  There's like little little little everything. They just like every, they all like pulled up.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  But there's no.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Germans, tons.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  You're, you're an outsider to them every single time. There's no part where they start to, you kind of start to flow seamlessly.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  No, I was. Yeah, at some point. Like if you go, they're like, I don't know. You dress, there's stuff you don't even notice you're dressing different. You can't put your finger on it. They can tell.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Here in New York, Steve, Backdoor Steve told me, because you could tell tourists they look up instead of

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  forward or down. And also instead of, in the winter, instead of wearing a big coat, they wear layers of smaller things.

• 44:17Speaker 00

  Because they don't have it where they're from?

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they don't think they're being a tourist, like, I'm dressed like a local, but like, we don't do this. It's rags. We don't do this, we learn the hard way. Yeah, so then I'm sure they cue like cluing into little things, but no, sometimes you're like really getting a cool conversation with people and like come friendly and like it's fun, I don't know.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  Any, any touristy shit you saw that blew your fucking mind and you're like, this is touristy, but is so fucking worth it?

• 44:46Speaker 01

  Inguazu Falls.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  Inguazu Falls, where is it?

• 44:49Speaker 01

  It's in the Argent- Argentina, um, Brazil.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  Border?

• 44:53Speaker 01

  And Paraguay's right there too, border, yeah. It's, it's Niagara's a fucking dick like compared to this.

• 44:59Speaker 00

  Oh my.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they have these walkways that are built out over, I mean, they go crazy.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  You built out over?

• 45:05Speaker 01

  So you see the top?

• 45:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  You can walk on those.

• 45:08Speaker 00

  Both sides falling into, holy shit.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they have, see that, see the walkway?

• 45:13Speaker 00

  No, on the right side.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that's like a, a 20 minute walk over the water that you know people died making, cause

• 45:23Speaker 01

  there's a current, like of course, and like, yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 00

  It looks like Avatar.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  And they don't have Mexicans to offer up, so that was their own people, you know? Yeah, it looks like Avatar, it was, it was really cool.

• 45:35Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  But.

• 45:37Speaker 00

  But?

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Chinese.

• 45:40Speaker 00

  What, what do you mean, what do you mean?

• 45:41Speaker 01

  They're the worst.

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Tell me about.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Pushy, shrill, there's a line for like.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  Flags, they got the flags.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  The pictures.

• 45:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  It's like, why? Why can I hear you from that far? You're talking to someone next to you. What is this? There was like a viewpoint and we had a line that just naturally formed, like one at a time with the view, and you see them inching, inching, and you're like, hey, hey, there's a line. And they go, yeah, yeah, inching, inching, and then they just go in.

• 46:09Speaker 00

  That's a British thing.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, the queue.

• 46:12Speaker 00

  The queue is a.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you want to take that picture alone, that's one at a time shit, and Chinese are like nah.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, they just got able to travel like 30 years ago.

• 46:21Speaker 00

  So they're learning about lines.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like, okay, my grandparents were in a famine, and then now I get to go to a waterfall.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  She spoke out against Mao.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  My other sister's a soccer ball.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Look at that walkway, it was, it was great.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  Ar is like, you need to cut this out.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Oh, what if we say it's a sorry?

• 46:44Speaker 00

  They already cut it out.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's some place like that, Machu Picchu.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Did you do the?

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  And, okay, can you break it? So Machu Picchu, my understanding is that it's not like a day trip. This is a few days. You have to climb up to it. You have to kind of stop at a hotel.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  If you're old, you can take a train from Cusco. Anyone can take a train from Cusco. It doesn't have to be old. But Ryan O'Neal, if you know him, is a comic.

• 47:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  He came to visit.

• 47:17Speaker 00

  So he met you there?

• 47:18Speaker 01

  I want to, because I told everybody, if you want to come, if you have anything in all of Mexico down that you wanted to do, let me know and I'll tell you when I'm going to be near there and I'll change my direction for you.

• 47:28Speaker 00

  And even though you changed your number and said you wouldn't contact anybody, but that's really horrible.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Okay, no, no, no.

• 47:33Speaker 00

  You would say that.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Oh, you think I heard? They didn't even catch me on fucking thing. I wrote their fucking numbers down on a piece of paper and I said, "Tell me what you want. I'll tell you, I'll reach out then."

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Fucking dicklicker. I'm attacking your friends. I come in here, you're my last friend here.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  Okay, okay. So Ryan goes down, Ryan goes down and he texts Ryan from, this is hilarious. He texts Ryan from a random number.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:00Speaker 00

  He trusts that it's you.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  Nobody else tried to prank him? Like, that's a hilarious prank.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Okay, so I found, I found Sal Volcano's number.

• 48:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  And I go, I go, I knew what his birthday was.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  And I, from Ryan, I was like, give me Sal's number. And I said, "Happy birthday from Bolivia." And, and no response. And then another one, another one. And then we're just like, this is fun now. I was on WhatsApp. So then I was texting him every like two, three weeks, updates. I knew he'd get way later. He's just not checking these.

• 48:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  And then I finally got through to him and he's like, "Why didn't you write me?" Like, "Bro, I wrote you every two weeks." And he goes, "Where?" I'm like, "What, they go WhatsApp?" And then he went and looked and he goes, "Oh, I, dude, I saw happy birthday from Bolivia." And I go, instant block.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  I didn't read the rest. There's no way that's not spam. Block that number. I love it. Yeah. So, yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Okay, so Ryan meets you down there. You guys decide to go to Machu Picchu.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Five day hike, Sulcantyt Pass.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  Okay. There's a different version where you don't have to do the hike, but even then, don't you have to like stop at a city at the base?

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's a.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  This is not a day trip place is what I'm basically trying to.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  And you gotta get tickets and you gotta plan it. You gotta get tickets. That's the only reason we had to plan that ahead of time because it's so, I think since COVID, it's so packed that you have to like, get a specific day pass ahead. Pro tip, number two. What was the other pro tip? Take the shower at the lounge.

• 49:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Shower at the lounge. Pro tip number two. Bribe any of them to go on whatever tour you want. Yeah. They sell you tour one or two or two or three, one or two or three, and then AB for each one. And you want to go, I think two A is the one with the iconic viewpoint.

• 49:31Speaker 00

  Hit them with a little.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. So me and O'Neal were like, we're like, let's see what's up here. We're not supposed to go here, but let's go. And some guy's like, hey, um, can I see your pass? And we're like, yeah, there it goes. First of all, it's closed for the season. Second of all, your pass doesn't even work here anyway. And we're like, okay. And he goes, but do you want to go? And I was like, I don't even know what this is, dude.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  I don't even know what this is. But I was like, kinda. And he goes, and then one of his friends starts yelling and I'm like, oh, he's telling him.

• 49:57Speaker 00

  How much?

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they're talking Quechua. So I'm like, I'm not sure or whatever's there. So I'm like, 20? And he goes, go and come back. 20 is $4.

• 50:07Speaker 00

  Oh, 20 their dollars?

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I was like, I don't want to go too high. And he goes, go, come back. And we were out on this Inca bridge by ourselves for like an hour and a half, smoking a joint with the most beautiful viewpoint, just me and O'Neal. Wow. Having a blast.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  You don't have pictures of this?

• 50:26Speaker 01

  I can send you some. We for sure do.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  That's so cool.

• 50:28Speaker 00

  What do you mean, when you mean the Inca bridge, you're saying a bridge that they built?

• 50:31Speaker 01

  There's to escape the Spaniards.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  That's on this back way to Machu Picchu and they had, it's pretty cool. Um, the Incas are wild with architecture. So they had this bridge. So it's all this, like all the, a mountain, there's like ledge they built with like stones over the slave built. Yeah. So see that? I thought it was decrepit. It's not. That bridge thing, they run away. If you run to the right, that's a way. And then it swings out. So no one can follow you.

• 50:57Speaker 00

  That, that middle thing, they can make swing out.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. So then they just pull that away and anyone following. And this is, that's not, that's all stones.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  So they built that up.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  Remarkable.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Wow.

• 51:09Speaker 00

  Unbelievable.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  Okay, so you're on that bridge.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  So we're, we're like, right, I mean, we're like here, I don't know, whatever, this isn't good video, but like, we're, oh, yeah, wait, what was the last one?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're about there. Oh, no, we went around there. So we went around there. So that's during the season. And it was just us, dude. It was so fucking cool. And just got, and that is the place to get stone with a view from the.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  Hold on one second. Are they stacking those stones that we're looking at from how far below?

• 51:40Speaker 01

  I don't know, a mile and a half. I don't know, far, pretty far.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:46Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  And that was their escape route when they were getting attacked.

• 51:49Speaker 00

  So that.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  I mean, it's crazy, but also if you see Machu Picchu, you're like, the whole thing is crazy.

• 51:54Speaker 01

  The whole thing. Have you been?

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Like, no, I just seen pictures and just read about it. It's just the most insane thing ever.

• 51:58Speaker 00

  The, the reason why Machu Picchu is so impressive is because of the altitude, right? It's like getting that rock up there. It's not like you're, like, you've seen pyramids that are more remarkable.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I got a picture of me like buttfucking O'Neill right in front of this view.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  Fire, need that one, need that one. Sorry, Ryan.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Write all these down. I gotta, I gotta find it on my elf.

• 52:18Speaker 00

  But like, the structures that you're seeing there.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:20Speaker 00

  Are they?

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Remain. The Inca architecture is.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  They, they remain, but I'm saying it's not like the pyramids in Giza or whatever.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 52:29Speaker 00

  Like in terms of size and structure.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  It's little homes.

• 52:33Speaker 00

  But what's fascinating is that they were able to get all that stone up to this altitude. This is a five day hike, right?

• 52:38Speaker 01

  So, I mean, they did. So, you know, when you have a friend that says we built a, we built a deck on our.

• 52:43Speaker 00

  And like, who did they enslave?

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Guatemalans did that for you, or whatever. This is like, no, slaves.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  So Incas.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  They didn't build shit.

• 52:50Speaker 00

  So Incas are getting the credit for, got it.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  But, but there are, where you can't get a, you can't get a piece of paper through these rocks even like hundreds of years later or a couple hundred years later.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, perfectly designed, earthquake proof.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  The Christians always put facades in front of like Jesus stuff. Every earthquake, the facade falls, the original structure remains.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:09Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, motorcycle drivers is all that. Like, look at Cusco. It's, it's been destroyed by, by earthquakes so many times, except for the Inca structures.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Stay up.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Those ones have been around.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  Did you talk to anybody about that? Was there any like expert in architecture and explains why?

• 53:24Speaker 01

  I'm sure we, I didn't really. I honestly, I don't even know. Machu Picchu means something, I.

• 53:29Speaker 00

  Forgot it.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  No, I never learned. I was, dude, I was smoking reefer in a fucking beautiful place.

• 53:35Speaker 00

  Four day hike up, intense or?

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Five days, four nights. Yes, very intense. Koby wanted to turn back from altitude poisoning.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  Really?

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, one just started throwing up.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  You didn't get sick at all?

• 53:48Speaker 01

  Okay, so about thirty minutes before the end of the pass, where it's the highest point, I started hallucinating.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  No way.

• 53:56Speaker 00

  Okay, tell me.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  What kind of hallucinating?

• 53:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 53:59Speaker 02

  What kind of hallucinating?

• 53:59Speaker 01

  I'm seeing shit and I'm like, I'm like, I mean, you know, when you do drugs and you're like, the first time you're like, is that real? Then you're like, oh, I've done, that's not real, but I know I'm seeing.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  But like waving trees?

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, rocks, there's no trees up there because of past the tree line, but I'm like, I don't want them to make me turn back. So I can't tell them.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  Do you tell Ryan?

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Ryan's a fucking lunatic. He ran up it.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  He's full on Tardo. He's like, I'm feeling great. And I'm like, you're hallucinating too then? Yeah, I'm just like, just like, yeah, but I'm like, I can see it, but it's very hard. The air gets thinner and thinner.

• 54:34Speaker 02

  What about the coca leaf? Are people ripping that?

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was great. You're eating coca leaves all the time.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  What does it feel like?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  You just get kind of juiced.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Coffee?

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Didn't, yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't know later, coca tea, pour hot water over it, that it's that much of a stimulant. I thought it was just altitude. So I drank it at night and you're just like, ah, it's a daytime thing.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  But you can imagine why people think it's a spiritual place, right? If every time they're climbing up, they all of a sudden start to get these visions.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, you didn't even take anything?

• 54:58Speaker 00

  Exactly. I'm talking to the gods. Something magical has happened up there.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, so some people have to turn back. They just start barfing and they just get blue. And they're like, you gotta get them down now. There's no air and they're reacting wrong.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  But then like during the hike up, where are you stopping? Like, are there places to actually sleep?

• 55:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so there's like lodges. Some people just do, some people just do tent on their back. And then do it themselves. Fucking warriors do that. Like, and I met some people, some French couple that was doing it. And I'm like, what? By the way, you don't have to prepare for this. So I can't, I'm not, I'm with a backpack.

• 55:31Speaker 00

  So they have food for you at the lodges and stuff?

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Really interesting, like, like food they're making a fire like underground, like they have this, they build this, it's like fire and they put everything in like, and they put stones on it. Yeah, and they put clay pots and then they bury it, put hay on top of that in a place. And it was like succulent, chick, like really good.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, what is it? The luau?

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, kind of like that, yeah.

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Hey, that's crazy. They do that in Hawaii and they're from like Asia pretty much and they do that in.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  In Peru.

• 56:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  The same like.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  Does the smoke get out?

• 56:05Speaker 01

  No, it's it's packed in there.

• 56:06Speaker 00

  I wonder if it's so you're not telling the ops where you are. Like I'm being I'm being facetious, but at the same time, like if there's smoke.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  You have to cook discreetly.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 02

  No predators and shit coming around.

• 56:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  How do you plan out the path like? To go? Yeah. There's there's groups that are like will take you. Oh, no, not just the hike. I'm talking about this entire trip. Like, are you just like winging it? Yes. So there's a couple of things I'm like, I made a list. So every time I met anyone from knowing I'm gonna do this in like a year, anyone I met anywhere from a place, I'm like, give me a recommendation. And they're like, oh, Buenos Aires. I'm like, no, no, give me a bar. Give me a restaurant that you love. Give me like, oh, what is a hike that you like?

• 56:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  The way you would tell someone coming, you wouldn't go Empire State Building. You'd be like, oh, no, there's this place that does jazz on Wednesdays you should check out.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  Got you.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  You know, my neighborhood bagel place is the, ah, cut that, that's gonna make me get made fun of. The the bagels in Brooklyn. Retake, retake.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Retake, retake, retake. It's a delicate test in Don Juan 34. It's out of my mouth. I knew it was gonna fuck me.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Attend my shul. You'll think it's very nice.

• 57:20Speaker 00

  It's okay, all right. All right, it's okay.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  You're not beating the allegations, dude.

• 57:24Speaker 00

  I know.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Good boy. I met a guy in, where was it? Myanmar. And he was like, I didn't want to bring my camera with me. This guy from, I think, Seattle. And he's like, because I didn't want to be like a tourist. And I was like, you're a six foot two white guy in Myanmar. Bro, it's not the camera.

• 57:41Speaker 00

  So you're getting these specific recommendations?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I was like, tell me something, Google Map.

• 57:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Dot. And anywhere I was near something, I'm like, well, I got dot here. There's a rec from a local.

• 57:51Speaker 00

  And then boom, you're gonna go.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  Lifties. They're all Argentinian or Chilean when you're skiing.

• 57:56Speaker 00

  Lifties?

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, lift lift workers, ski lift.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  You know, or people working like the the sessions.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  You start talking to them, the donederas, it opens up everything.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  Right.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  And then you're just like, give me something. Yeah, the first one was this sick, no electricity beach in Uruguay. That was the first one outside the cellar. And then I got there towards the end. And it was just like, so I would just have these places. So I had like eighty, a hundred places to go to, but I'm like, the only ones I gotta go to is Machu Picchu.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  And I, and I wanna, no, that was just on there.

• 58:29Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  If I missed it, I missed it. So, so like I said, so if I'm going this way and then some shit happens here.

• 58:33Speaker 00

  You'll go.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  I'm not like, well, I had plans. I don't have plans. If I got sick, I'll stay for another two days. I don't have to take an overnight bus while I'm barfing.

• 58:40Mark Gagnon?

  Yo, this is so.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  Were you, were you, oh wait, so the only ones were Machu Picchu and what else?

• 58:44Speaker 01

  The, I wanted to get.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  Carnival in Brazil?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  No, but when I was ending, I was like, hey, I'm ending and I'm in Brazil early February. I'm like, oh shit.

• 58:53Speaker 00

  Let's do it.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm gonna stay for another couple of weeks.

• 58:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  And, and like, party out this great trip.

• 58:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  And like, celebrate.

• 59:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Um, no, I did, I did, this is also very gay, but like, uh, I'm, I'm a hippie.

• 59:08Mark Gagnon?

  No.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  So, I did a solstice, a solstice trip. I went up to the tip top of Alaska for the, um, summer solstice.

• 59:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  Twenty-four hours of sunlight.

• 59:17Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Um, saw a polar bear, like way out, but like, we saw it and the, the tour guy's like, like, ah, we're good. It's like, hey, actually.

• 59:26Speaker 00

  We gotta get out of here.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  And not quite, but it's like, just go, don't go, don't wander, don't wander, just see what he does, but don't, and then he was fine. He didn't come in too hard, but.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  But they, they're one of the few animals that hunt humans.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:37Speaker 00

  They want, they want humans.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:39Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, really?

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. You seen the video of the polar bear trying to get into the photographer's thing?

• 59:42Speaker 00

  Terrifying.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  It's insane.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  He's in a glass case.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  And he's like.

• 59:46Speaker 00

  And that polar bear wants it bad.

• 59:49Speaker 04

  It's supposed to be bear proof and it's like creaking and you can see him being like, ah.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, here it is.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  Bro, this shit.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  And you can smell him, so he's like.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a vending machine, bro. That's pretty.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  That's terrifying.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Oh, he's licking it.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Oh, he full on gets a pop in there?

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  Dude, he's, he's so heavy.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  And that's like a teenage polar bear. That's not even full blown.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Look at him shaking, it's so heavy.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Oh, that's.

• 1:00:15Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Nah, I'm out.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, it's open a little bit too.

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  Dude, this shit. Oh, look at that. Why does he have a little?

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  I know what you mean by y'all, but you're right. I know what you mean by y'all, but yeah, you're right.

• 1:00:25Speaker 00

  Okay, so you did the-

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  You'll never have to color correct this kind of video. It's y'all.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  You guys would look so good in it though. Are you alive with that? Your beautiful skin on the snow.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

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• 1:01:21Speaker 00

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• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  There was a whale hunt celebration because when they get one, they're like sick.

• 1:03:43Speaker 00

  Where is this?

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  In Barrow. Also, here's another one you face for shit. It's called Barrow, Alaska. They renamed it the indigenous name Ukviagvik. And everyone in Anchorage, very liberals, like you're like Uk, because it's hard to pronounce. So Ukavvyak, you're trying to pronounce it. It's not written easier. And then you just go, I'll just say Barrow. They go, it's Ukviagvik. Have some fucking rest. I was like, okay, sorry. And then you get up there and there's this little tour of this nothing town. And the guy goes, welcome to, uh, to, uh, I'm not gonna do the indigenous accent, but like.

• 1:04:13Speaker 00

  No, do it, do it, do it. You did the Chinese.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Welcome to, uh, Ukviagvik. It's a, it's a, you can also call it Barrow. People call it Ukviag. We, we call it Barrow because that's what we grew up with, but you're welcome to call it whatever you want.

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  So they don't even call it.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  No way. Is it the same with Mount McKinley? It's probably the same thing, right?

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  It's like they grew up in a town like we're not renaming it. You guys are renaming it for us. Thanks for protecting us whites from Anchorage.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, so we were there for, yeah, I was at that, that whale, that, that, uh, yeah.

• 1:04:41Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, took a polar bear plunge, whatever it's called.

• 1:04:44Speaker 00

  That's sick, though.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they start throwing everybody up on a, on a blanket to celebrate.

• 1:04:49Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  Whale skin or whatever.

• 1:04:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  Give out pieces of blubber.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  Did you eat it? The?

• 1:04:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 00

  It's called, um.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I tried it.

• 1:04:57Speaker 00

  Fuck, I follow this guy.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  You watch all these videos. Mukbang? No, that's Mukbang.

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  Mukbang.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. Also delicious.

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Was it good though?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Muktuk?

• 1:05:07Speaker 00

  Muktuk.

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  Something.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  What? Was it good?

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  Duh.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  Did they dip it in soy sauce?

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got warned. Yeah, I got warned you should put it in mustard or soy sauce.

• 1:05:15Speaker 00

  They have some sauce that they dip it in. And they cut it with that little curvy knife?

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Gives you every nutrient you need, because like, how do these people survive with no greens?

• 1:05:22Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  And it turns out that's got everything in it.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Have you seen the glasses that they wear?

• 1:05:28Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, they're sick.

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  Right, no.

• 1:05:30Speaker 00

  The tiny little slit.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  Uh-uh. But yeah, but they celebrate a successful whale hunt and then everyone's out. And then eventually they go, they're doing, the captain does it, the captain's wives do it. They throw out candy like a bar mitzvah.

• 1:05:40Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  They jump up and they throw out candy. And then eventually like tourists, I'm like, okay. And you go up there and it's, I was like, they're like, ready? I keep your feet together and I'm like, and I just collapsed. I'm like, nah, I can't do it.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  But yeah, so I was there for solstice.

• 1:05:55Speaker 00

  So you did the other night?

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  And then I was there for solstice.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:05:57Speaker 00

  And where was the southern one?

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Ushuaia is the southernmost city, but there's another town in Chile called Puerto Williams.

• 1:06:05Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Who is trying to uproot Ushuaia as the southernmost city. Because they're like, well, it's this main city of this, of this like state. And they're like, if you don't have 50,000, it's not a city. Now they have all these plans to get to 50,001 to uproot Ushuaia as the southernmost city and kill their tourism.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, they're building all the, everywhere.

• 1:06:25Speaker 00

  Capitalism wins. Okay, so you're down there and what is their solstice celebration?

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  It's not 24 hours of sunlight. It's what, it's like the level of like Scotland, but to the south.

• 1:06:35Speaker 00

  Hmm, oh.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Like Edinburgh. So it's like, it's not nearly as far south, but there's penguins, which is cool.

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  Fire.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, they would just have babies, so you're like, see all these like baby penguins?

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  But like fun party vibes, like an exciting moment or more just like?

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  No, it was really just, do my party vibes, not for that.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  What was the most dangerous thing that happened throughout the whole trip?

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  Uh, I got, I bought weed from the wrong guy in Medellin.

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  Uh oh.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  And he fucking kinda ruined my trip for a couple of weeks.

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  Why?

• 1:07:04Mark Gagnon?

  Colombia is getting kinda bad again.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  It's getting bad again.

• 1:07:06Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:07Speaker 00

  Bro, I kinda felt that, man.

• 1:07:09Mark Gagnon?

  A little bit, yeah, yeah. Last time I went, yeah.

• 1:07:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, and it was like.

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  When, how long ago was this?

• 1:07:13Mark Gagnon?

  Uh, mine's just four years ago.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  I went, I went a couple and it was, uh, we weren't in Medellin. Where'd we go? Cartagena? Cartagena. And it was, uh, we were like in this like old city area and, um, I know people gotta make money, et cetera, but it felt like the second we walked out of the house, there were like guys coming up and like rapping for us for money and then somebody trying to sell you something or whatever. And it was one of those things where you're, it's like, these guys gotta eat. I totally fucking get it. But I wonder if you're the government, if, if you have a way of explaining, hey, if we can make this a tourist trap for Americans and Europeans to come here, there's gonna be so many more jobs that you guys are gonna make so much more fucking money.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 1:07:54Mark Gagnon?

  It's also selected a wrong type of tourism, which is the problem.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  So the gang members like sick, there's people who aren't.

• 1:07:59Mark Gagnon?

  It creates a ton of inequality, but also that type of tourism, like sex tourism, which is like a huge part of it.

• 1:08:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Mark Gagnon?

  Like.

• 1:08:04Speaker 00

  No, that's, yeah, you're right.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  In Medellin, it's all the real deep crime was you're buying drugs or you're buying women.

• 1:08:12Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 00

  Did you go on that?

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Tourism, they're like, they leave those alone.

• 1:08:14Mark Gagnon?

  And probably doing both. And entering into their world.

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  That is the problem when it, yeah, when it becomes sex tourism. Like there was this, and I don't know if it's changing, but like Costa Rica did a really good thing where like they built their tourism community around daytime activities.

• 1:08:28Mark Gagnon?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:29Speaker 00

  They're like, hey, we do not want people to go, hey, at night it's boring here. Don't come hang out. It's horrible. Just go to sleep. They really try, and then when you don't have shit to do at night, there's not as much of a need for coke. And when there's no need for coke, you don't have the cartel. And when there's no cartel, it's safe for business.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:08:47Speaker 00

  And.

• 1:08:47Mark Gagnon?

  But doesn't Costa Rica have like that red light district area?

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  I'm sure they have a version of prostitution.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Probably do it in a certain area or figure it out.

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  But it's fucking surplus and shit.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  They figured it out.

• 1:08:56Speaker 00

  And it might be getting worse, but like, it is a thing. Like if you build your economy around sex tourism, you're gonna bring like the most.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. The Colombians I met, I met a Colombian. In the north, we were talking about it, every fourth person at this hostel either got robbed or had a friend get robbed in daylight sometimes. And she goes, it's going back. All the Colombians, we can feel it. It got safe and we can all feel it going back to the eighties.

• 1:09:17Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Ooh, fuck.

• 1:09:19Mark Gagnon?

  There was a dude of mine, uh, he met a girl off Tinder and then it was like a setup, like she drugged them and then took all this shit.

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  Wow. So what? All the Airbnbs in, in, in Colombia and Brazil too, actually are like, we need to see the, the passports of everyone who's gonna be here. And they're like, you're not bringing hookers to our place.

• 1:09:35Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it just brings crime.

• 1:09:38Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, like either the hooker, hooker will rob you.

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  And they're like, and like, and as they're robbing you and you're like, this is gonna go on my review.

• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  And he wants to get an extra thing. The guys being predatory with the, the woman not paying, like, it just is a headache.

• 1:09:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, it's a bummer because Colombia is cool as hell, man.

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  So cool.

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  And the people there.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, the people are the best in the world. But yeah, I just think it creates like rot.

• 1:09:59Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah. Any, uh, spiritual stuff, like any ayahuasca?

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  I had to dress mushroom trip of my life.

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  Okay. Why?

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  It was, um.

• 1:10:08Speaker 00

  And where?

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  Uh, I'll tell you all this off air.

• 1:10:11Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  The place I don't want to ruin.

• 1:10:13Speaker 00

  Um, okay. Can you?

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  It was just great.

• 1:10:16Speaker 00

  Describe it without saying it.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  Okay, I'll tell you, like, I got, I got, so The End, the show The End, and I was bogged down with everything and I had these, this.

• 1:10:24Speaker 00

  By the way, real quick.

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:26Speaker 00

  Cause I know Ari will not plug, so I will do it for him.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  I'll get plugged, it's a different one.

• 1:10:32Speaker 00

  Ari's bringing back his infamous storytelling show, The End. He's going direct to consumer. He's got the biggest names in standup comedy that are all doing stories on it and it's available for pre-sale right now. So you can buy it at AriShaver.com?

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  Buy AriShaver.com or theendymhstudios.com.

• 1:10:49Speaker 00

  Theendymhstudios.com. It's fucking unbelievable. Some names, Shane, Nate Bargatze, uh.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Hinchcliffe.

• 1:10:56Speaker 00

  Hinchcliffe.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  Stefano, Norman, Robert Kelly, Sam Talent, You Were Invited and Refused.

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  I, I did not refuse. I, I, we talked about this already.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  You actually said yes.

• 1:11:06Speaker 00

  I literally am watching you guys edit it here and I'm like, oh, I should have fucking done this. I literally just filmed the special and you called me an ass and I was like, I want to do it.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:15Speaker 00

  And then I thought, I, I have so much respect for the show because this is, you know, the show, okay, the history of the show, obviously, which I'd love to talk about once we finish. Uh, going over your travels, but like, I was like, I want to have a really good story.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Well, you're honoring it to like, I'm not doing a half ass job on this.

• 1:11:32Speaker 00

  No, because you can, one, everybody's bringing their fuck, it's Saturday night at the cellar. You know, you're not just going, hey, this is my whatever joke, you're bringing your fucking A game. This is your best story. And I'd spent two years telling like the most important story in my life. And I'm literally going, well, what can I tell?

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. You don't want to be like that. Yeah.

• 1:11:50Speaker 00

  And, and I didn't want to go, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a story that's not coming to me just to make it funny for this thing. Anyway, I huge regret. I wish I was part of it.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, but, but you gotta do it. But I mean, that, that some guys were doing like, like Segura went up to Sam Talon afterwards and goes, that was amazing, dude. I'm watching Roy Wood now in editing and I'm like, I'm a weak comic compared to him. It's just like, and then some of the greats from, from this not happening, Ms. Pat, Ali, Big Jay. Like Legends of the Show came back and was just like.

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  Anyway, it's a whole season, by the way. It's not just one drop.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  Seven one hour episodes.

• 1:12:24Speaker 00

  Wow, that's awesome.

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  Prologue that I don't want to mention is gonna, you, you would, you would love that. And that's free also.

• 1:12:31Speaker 00

  Anyway, this is awesome. What? Say, say, say, you said Bargatze?

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Bargatze came.

• 1:12:36Speaker 00

  Oh, no, I know. But anyway, I just think it's really awesome that you're doing it. You're also doing it on your terms and like the story about you starting the show, it being taken away from you unfairly, I think very unfairly. And then you, I think so.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. This is enough. It's not, it's like, it's like when your chick in, in 11th grade cheats on you. And now if you're married with kids, you're like, I mean, it was wrong to do that, but I'm not still angry.

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  No, no, no. I don't think you have resentment or anything like that.

• 1:13:05Speaker 01

  Do you want to talk about the story? Cause I don't know what happened.

• 1:13:07Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. And then maybe we can go back some of the travels because I still have questions about that. But it's worth talking about this. Okay. Let's just start about the inception of the show.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  Inception of the show was me and Eric Abrams, the director of all my stuff.

• 1:13:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  Where I was at his house on Thanksgiving and I, I think I, I forget who was first.

• 1:13:24Speaker 00

  How long ago? How many years ago?

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  This was 2009?

• 1:13:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  I was telling him a mushroom story and then he was telling me a mushroom story. And then, and then I think it was me first, it doesn't matter. And then I was talking about a Nick Kroll mushroom story that I heard the Renzi C.

• 1:13:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  And then I was like, you know, dude, and he was the assistant booker to Joel, who ran the Florida Improv, he'd taken over the main improv.

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  And I was doing nothing in my career. I mean, it wasn't like I was, I hadn't even had a check, we're Comedy Store guys. And Comedy Store was not what it is now. It was, agents wouldn't go there.

• 1:13:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  It was a failure place, which looking back was such a gift for us so we could develop on our own.

• 1:14:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, Bobby Lee was the most successful guy because he was making five grand a week.

• 1:14:09Speaker 00

  You got me my first spot at the Comedy Store, did you know that?

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  I remember meeting at the hole.

• 1:14:14Speaker 00

  No, at the potluck. I was like, hey, man, I'm coming in and I don't know if there's a way to get up. You're like, yeah, I'm going to talk to them and you got me up at the potluck. Legend.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  So when anybody says like, I met you at the Comedy Store once, I'm like, this could go one of two.

• 1:14:28Speaker 00

  No, I didn't tell you that. At the hole, I think.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  The hole, yeah.

• 1:14:31Speaker 00

  But I just messaged you.

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  You were so different at the hole, you were like still finding yourself.

• 1:14:35Speaker 00

  Of course, yeah.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  And so it was like, you were a phony, you were this tough guy, Brooklyn.

• 1:14:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  And I'm like, and you were still cool. Manhattan, by the way, fuck New York, rest Manhattan.

• 1:14:46Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  Number one borough and um.

• 1:14:50Speaker 00

  I've never heard anybody correct it to Manhattan. Brooklyn is way cooler than Manhattan.

• 1:14:55Speaker 01

  I started chatting, people, where are you from? Like, I'm from Manhattan. That's where I live.

• 1:14:59Speaker 00

  Yes, but you're 100% right.

• 1:15:01Speaker 01

  I think he died a long time ago. I'm from Manhattan, fuck Brooklyn, these fucking white guys with their top hats, deep dicks.

• 1:15:09Speaker 00

  No, but you're right, I was like really trying to figure out what I was on stage.

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  We were all at some point in college or whatever that we're like, maybe I'll try, maybe I'll be a Doran guy.

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  Twenty four, twenty five, maybe something like, we were young.

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:15:21Speaker 00

  Wow, okay, go on, go on.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  Um, so I was doing nothing and he was an assistant to a booker. And I was like, hey, dude, you have a side room that's not built up at the, at the, it was kind of like the old Fat Black when Big J was hosting the fucking um karaoke night.

• 1:15:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  They weren't really doing shows there.

• 1:15:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  And imagine then if I was like, hey, can I do it? So I was like, can we do a show of mushroom stories? Like, you're not, the place is dark most days.

• 1:15:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  And he goes, "Yeah, let's do that. Let me ask." And then he was like, "Okay." And we were like, "Let's change it to psychedelic drug stories in general."

• 1:15:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  The lineup was a couple, one guy, I forget his name. Me and Pete Carbone told a story about our own mushroom trip.

• 1:16:01Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  This guy, Dan Madonia, Steve Agee, who's like a good actor and writer, Marc Maron, and Joey Diaz.

• 1:16:09Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:16:09Mark Gagnon?

  He was.

• 1:16:10Speaker 01

  And fourteen people were there. I mean, we could not get an audience. We didn't have any way. I didn't know anybody.

• 1:16:19Speaker 00

  What room is this again?

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  The side room where they have, they have now since built it up.

• 1:16:22Speaker 00

  This is in Florida?

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  No, no. Joel from Florida had taken over all the improv.

• 1:16:26Speaker 00

  Got it. So in the LA improv, there was a side room?

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:30Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  And Eric was the assistant booker. So we're like, "Okay." And we couldn't, you couldn't drink in there. There was no bar. You couldn't even bring your booze in from the other place.

• 1:16:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  But I, I mean, it was a magical, I, I was like, I would do my story, then I'd bring somebody up and I'd sit there and watch on the floor. And it was just like, it was so cool watching these guys tell real stories. Joey Diaz going to like Led Zeppelin, I think.

• 1:16:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  In like the eighties on Quaaludes. You know, Marc Maron getting like too much drugs on a Grateful Dead concert and thinking he's chewing gum and he thinks he's got a bloody mouth.

• 1:17:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  Just like so, it was just like, it was just like, all fourteen people were like, "That was amazing."

• 1:17:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  It was so real. And we were like, "Let's do another one." And so then we started like changing topics every week. And then it, it like, it built up.

• 1:17:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:19Speaker 01

  Anyone who came, eighteen people the next time, twenty people. And then eventually, comics wanted to do it. Eventually, the improv got mad at me. They're like, "Well, you had Bill Burr, Jim Jefferies, and Burt Kreischer in the side room."

• 1:17:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:31Speaker 01

  And I was like, "I don't know. That's the room you gave me. What are you going to, not book a good show?"

• 1:17:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  And then they moved me to the, the main room. And then we did it at Montreal at the Comedy Festival.

• 1:17:40Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 1:17:41Speaker 01

  Listen, I don't care, but I've never really gotten respected in this business. So like, "You can do the midnight show." I'm like, "You don't have midnight shows." And they're like, "Well, we don't really have space for you."

• 1:17:51Speaker 00

  You get respect now. I think there was a time where you were maybe overlooked.

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:55Speaker 00

  I think all comics go through that. But I would say that you're a respected comedian now.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  Depends by who. Yeah.

• 1:18:01Speaker 00

  Well, I think.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  A little bit of a, comics respect me.

• 1:18:03Speaker 00

  I think, I definitely think that like Ju changed a lot of things. Now they hate you even more.

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  But dude, it was magical. We do like, we do like hooker stories and, and, and trouble with the law stories, roommate stories and whatever. Everyone had them.

• 1:18:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:20Speaker 01

  Uh, I remember the hooker stories one. It was like, got uncomfortable for the crowd and Eddie Pepitone kept like, starting a story and then be like, "Why this topic, Ari? We're losing everybody!" And then back to fucking some chick in the back of a truck.

• 1:18:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  And then, yeah, we did a Montreal, became The Cool Hangout, the midnight show at that tranny strip club, became The Cool Hangout.

• 1:18:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, what's the name of the strip club?

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Cleopatra.

• 1:18:41Speaker 00

  Cleopatra, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:43Speaker 01

  And we did like four days in a row and everybody, Russell Peters, I saw him at a UFC, I was like, "You wanna do my show?" And he was like, "Okay." I'm like, "I'm trying to fill up." It's like 80. And, and he was just like, "Bro, I'm Russell Peters and it's Canada."

• 1:18:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gonna be fine.

• 1:18:54Speaker 01

  It'll fill up. And I didn't realize what a favor he was doing.

• 1:18:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  It just became the coolest hangout. We all drink there and,

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  and, and then like, yeah, eventually Comedy Central was like, "Let's, let's film some of these."

• 1:19:06Mark Gagnon?

  It's crazy to hear you had a hard time in the industry, because I had a theory that you guys ran it.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  Well, here's the problem, there's too many of us, so we don't all get our piece.

• 1:19:21Speaker 00

  You know what's dope about this story?

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  I like the theory, the theory thing is awesome.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, we started doing it on TV. It really exposed people and I love, YouTube too,

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  giving people like a break.

• 1:19:35Speaker 00

  You gotta help people, man.

• 1:19:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:36Mark Gagnon?

  So then it's on Comedy Central and then how does it get sold?

• 1:19:39Speaker 01

  First on YouTube, and then they came in, wherever the executive was on the side, YouTube Comedy Central was like, "We wanna keep these stories about two minutes." And we're like, actually, we're going like 20.

• 1:19:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  And she's like, "No!" I'm like, "This isn't a puppy video."

• 1:19:51Speaker 00

  Is it, "This is not happening yet"?

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, we, so we renamed it, "This is not hap-" Actually, Steve Agee was like, "Hey, you need a name for this. You can't just call it Ari's Storytelling Show." If, if you wanna keep doing these, you should brand it.

• 1:20:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  I don't know anything about that.

• 1:20:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, "This is not happening" was a takeoff of some like, painting, like, "This is not a pipe."

• 1:20:07Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:08Mark Gagnon?

  Agreed.

• 1:20:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  Look at that [bleep].

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  He is too, he is.

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  And so it's about, it's like, it's about like, stuff existing, but that is not a pipe, it's paint on a canvas. And these stories aren't actually happening now, they're a rendition of what happened.

• 1:20:28Speaker 00

  Something happened, yeah.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, whatever, it's goofy. But like, um, yeah, and then, and there's, caught on, I remember Ralphie doing a story at the improv going, I hadn't been nervous on stage in a long time.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  So this is the thing about the story that I think makes it so special, it's like, when the goal is the story, laughs are a bonus.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:45Speaker 00

  With stand-up, laughs are mandatory, right?

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  But then, but then I was very clear, I don't want to go like The Moth, Moth is great.

• 1:20:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, they have to be funny stories.

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, Moth's always ends with, "And that's not just the day I lost my watch, that's the day I lost my innocence."

• 1:21:01Speaker 00

  Also some fire stories.

• 1:21:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like the Moth.

• 1:21:05Speaker 00

  Mike DiStefano, Mike DiStefano, Mike DiStefano is like a legendary New York comedian, a lot of us just like, looked up to him growing up, he passed, but he has all. He has a moth that will fucking make you cry, laugh, the whole thing.

• 1:21:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:17Speaker 00

  Anyway, but the goal of it, and I think it changes the perception of the audience, because you're immediately going, hey, this is a thing that's really interesting to happen. Funny shit happens along the way, but I'm on board because the ends might be something crazy that I could never expect.

• 1:21:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:30Speaker 00

  And then, it's almost like, in the way that like, Sopranos is funny, even though it's not a comedy, and the laughs hit you harder. Cause I'm not asking you to laugh, you're gonna, because this is what we do.

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  Also, we're comics, we don't, we don't know how to not be, we make jokes in inopportune moments, we can't help it.

• 1:21:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  So then Reeve mentioned it once, he did the show and he was like, he was like, after like, 30 seconds no laughs, I'm not used to it, I'm like, I better make a funny face or something. Yeah, Ralphie's story is about playing basketball in, in like, 9th grade and Corliss Williamson was on another team, and getting dunked on nuts in the face by a 9th grade Corliss Williamson.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  But like, uh, yeah, we saw some amazing moments, and, and like, clean comics who could be like, this isn't recorded, I'm gonna tell you something, like, like, or really dark. And like, this is great. Watching people who had characters drop their character.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  I, I loved watching them.

• 1:22:25Speaker 00

  Didn't Carrot Top do one?

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  Carrot Top did one after.

• 1:22:27Speaker 00

  Oh, that was after, okay, yeah.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  But also, I'd be interested to see what, what he was gonna do.

• 1:22:32Speaker 00

  Anytime you bring someone out of genre, it's kind of fun.

• 1:22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:36Speaker 00

  Okay, so you guys are doing it.

• 1:22:37Speaker 01

  We did it in Edinburgh.

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  This guy called the pub landlord, he had a character where he was like the manager of a pub.

• 1:22:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  He was like, I'll tell you a real story. And people are like, I've never seen you.

• 1:22:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  And he was also like, I'm nervous to do this.

• 1:22:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  They're just fun. And it made me a way better comic to have to prep a new story. Cause listen, I'm going first.

• 1:22:58Speaker 00

  And you gotta set the tone.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  I gotta set the tone.

• 1:23:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  I'm trying to bury all of you.

• 1:23:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:02Speaker 01

  And I, it's hard. And I'd have to sit there. I got an office one time. But like, I gotta start writing out the details of these stories.

• 1:23:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:10Mark Gagnon?

  Did you keep having to do like psychedelic trips to?

• 1:23:14Speaker 01

  No, we changed topics. So it'd be like job stories. I'm like, what job have I had? I know I, there must be, everyone has. I mean, you just gotta like,

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  you know, Big Jay's the best. Big Jay can take something that is not of note and make it a really interesting story.

• 1:23:30Speaker 00

  He's a great storyteller.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  He's like the best.

• 1:23:31Speaker 00

  It's interesting, cause I always knew Jay as a storyteller. And I think a lot of people know him more now, maybe from crowd work.

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:39Speaker 00

  But when I was coming up, he was just this magnificent storyteller. And he could always do stuff off the fly. He was always so witty. But that's kind of where people were sitting in the back of the room watching. You know?

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Late night at the cellar, whatever. Back when the cellar wasn't passing. You're like, Sunday night shows on the road.

• 1:23:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:57Speaker 01

  You're like, alright, it's half full. Like, texture's getting dropped. You're like, alright, let me tell you about a time I, I did this.

• 1:24:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  But also, comics all have it. I was on the road with Rogan once, a long time ago, went to a strip club.

• 1:24:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, a long time ago.

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  Did some, yeah.

• 1:24:11Speaker 00

  Long time ago.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Some like dumb stuff. Not real. We saw some chicks just giving out hand jobs. Like it was their first week and didn't know she didn't have to. Cause like in the room. You know? And I'm like a young, just formally religious Jew. So I'm like, what the fuck? And then my friend Tate's like, go take her into the other room. And I'm like, and then how do you do it? He's like, just take her hand and fucking spit on it and put it on your dick. I'm like, no way. That won't work. He goes, bro, I've just seen her give out three hand jobs. You don't have to treat her like a lady. And I'm okay. And then, and then, so we talked about this the next day. And I think like West Palm or something, some Florida place. And we were talking about this. It's like, alright, come on stage, we're gonna tell the story.

• 1:24:50Speaker 00

  And you guys told the?

• 1:24:51Speaker 01

  Told this story of me not realizing and taking her hand and licking it and putting it in my dick. And then hearing, take a, spit on, not licked.

• 1:25:01Speaker 01

  And I'm like, ah.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  So like.

• 1:25:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, you licked so many dicks that night.

• 1:25:08Speaker 01

  He was watching, he was like the semi-private room watching.

• 1:25:12Speaker 00

  She jerked off three dudes.

• 1:25:14Speaker 01

  Minimum. We didn't get to the beginning of her shift.

• 1:25:17Speaker 00

  Back at the Bolivian soft flex.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Burying my head, burying my lips. Yeah, bro.

• 1:25:23Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:25:24Speaker 01

  So these are like fun stuff. The comics have. We live crazy too. We do stuff. We're like, yeah, let's do coke and go out.

• 1:25:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:30Speaker 01

  We do stuff. Like, so it's like tell these stories and they're so fun. I love watching it. Yeah, so we did it on TV for a while and then eventually, I don't know.

• 1:25:40Speaker 00

  Can we go into that? Like, not to harp on it as a negative thing, but just to understand why we got here.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  So I had a long time ago, an act teacher told me this. I go, if you're acting from a place, if you're telling about this horrible car accident, but the end result is you're telling how the nurse that took care of you became your wife.

• 1:25:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:56Speaker 01

  And that, then you don't say, you don't bemoan it. You go, all my bones are broken.

• 1:26:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  Cause you know where it's headed.

• 1:26:02Speaker 00

  You got a wife, yeah.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then I didn't think I wanted to live. I wanted to commit suicide, whatever.

• 1:26:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:06Speaker 01

  But cause you know where it's going.

• 1:26:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:07Speaker 01

  So at this point, like, I made my own show, so I'm fine.

• 1:26:11Speaker 00

  And it's wildly successful and it's very unique in that for years, Comedy Central and just any comedy platform has been trying to find a way to put on new talent. And every different iteration of the show kind of doesn't really work. There's always a version where they go, what if a comedian tells a joke, but we act out the sketch of the joke at the same time? And they always try, it doesn't work. There's like a, here's the new talent. There was a thing called premium blend when we were younger, which was like a huge deal to get.

• 1:26:36Speaker 01

  Never got it.

• 1:26:37Speaker 00

  Doesn't really, didn't mean it, but it didn't really do anything, you know, bro.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  I wanted it so bad. I wanted it so bad.

• 1:26:44Speaker 00

  Even the Comedy Central half hours, like that was like the, it was that and HBO specials who were like the cream of the crop when we were growing up. And like, sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't. So there wasn't like a real way to like garner interest for young comedians. Late Night Appearance was really big before our generation, but once you hit ours, it didn't really.

• 1:27:01Speaker 01

  Was it a launching thing? It was just something to do?

• 1:27:02Speaker 00

  And then you guys organically created the show where stories not even from the big guys, the big guys are gonna do well because they have a draw. But from people that you didn't know would fucking blow up. We're talking about millions of views.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  So there's two, there's two ones that really drive this home. So Comedy Central didn't understand what the internet was.

• 1:27:24Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:27:24Speaker 01

  They just didn't understand it. It's fine, whatever. Oh, for the people at home. Comedy Central was a network.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  Television. It came actually with every cable. Oh, cable, okay.

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  And they had a lot. They made South Park, The Daily Show. These were all this, this brand Comedy Central. They were the only place to do comedy. HBO would put a special every three months and it was always old timers.

• 1:27:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:53Speaker 00

  It was your only way through as a comic when you really think about it.

• 1:27:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was your only way through.

• 1:27:56Speaker 00

  Getting a special was just massive.

• 1:27:58Speaker 01

  From Comedy Central is this, you know?

• 1:28:00Speaker 00

  And it wouldn't necessarily translate. Some would, some wouldn't, but that was like the only way through. And we'd all kind of wait around. They did maybe one a month.

• 1:28:06Speaker 01

  Hoping to call on you.

• 1:28:07Speaker 00

  That's it, yeah.

• 1:28:08Speaker 01

  So, so they didn't understand the internet. And I remember there was one season, early on, where they were really trying to get Rob Corddry. He's the bald guy from General Children's Hospital. Is that him? Am I thinking of the right guy? Oh, yeah, okay. And they were excited. He did a good story and they could, yep, that's him. Nice guy. Did a good story. So it was him and Joey Diaz on the same season.

• 1:28:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:29Speaker 01

  And now this guy is a darling of the alt scene and he's on TV.

• 1:28:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:33Speaker 01

  Joey Diaz is just some criminal.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  And they didn't understand that. And when Joey Diaz got to a million views and Rob Corddry's at like 80,000, they were like,

• 1:28:43Speaker 00

  What's going on here?

• 1:28:44Speaker 01

  What do you mean? And I'm like, well, one, he's internet famous, Joey. Two, he's a master storyteller. Like you just like listen to him. Being on the road with him is so entertaining. And that's what comics do too. Back table the cellar. Everywhere. We just tell, tell them the time you went to Portugal. And you did, okay. And that's what those, like Jeff Die did one about stealing a jersey. We did this in basketball, intramural basketball. I told him, I'm like, Dude, you gotta do my show.

• 1:29:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:09Speaker 01

  He was just talking before a game about stealing Mike Vander Jack's jersey from his bar in Key West.

• 1:29:16Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:29:16Speaker 01

  And then they're like, give him back the jersey. He goes, no. And I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, no. He goes, we'll arrest you. I'm like, then I'll burn your fucking All-Star jersey. He goes, I'm gonna get some use out of it first. And he's like, fuck, hold this guy. So anyway, it was a Joey Diaz one. And then what was really significant was Ali Siddique.

• 1:29:32Speaker 00

  Yes, legend.

• 1:29:33Speaker 01

  Who was an unknown guy. I mean, unknown. I didn't know about him. And we were... I know diversity has like bad connotations now, but I would say there's a diversity of life, more than just color. So if you take a rich black and a rich white, they're a lot closer than a rich white and a poor white, you know, a prison white. Owen, Owen, what's his name? You still know his comic view?

• 1:29:57Speaker 00

  Owen, uh.

• 1:29:58Speaker 01

  Gary. Yeah, he's way different than you.

• 1:30:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:30:03Speaker 01

  Different lifestyle. He's closer to Ali Siddique, you know?

• 1:30:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  Then, then, you know?

• 1:30:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:08Speaker 01

  So he had a story. My favorite story of all that. So they told me, hey, he won a comedian's. So we're looking for like different diversity of experience.

• 1:30:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:17Speaker 01

  They go, we know this guy. Okay, if you think he's good, let's have him. I just don't know him. And we, we did, yeah. So we did a because we wanted to make sure they were good stories. So we did a bunch of TV bookings and then we go, let's have extra internet only bookings. We'll take the best of those stories and move them up to TV.

• 1:30:35Speaker 00

  Love.

• 1:30:36Speaker 01

  They can prove themselves later. Either way, they're getting an internet clip, which is better anyway. So we saved like four spots to move up, like getting relegated or getting like advanced. And he did one. This, by the second season, I was like, they were like, they wanted to get at the second season, but let's do it. I'm like, no, guys, the guy's a master. He did a story about, it's just called Mexican Got on Boots.

• 1:30:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:55Speaker 01

  And you should look it up because I don't want to ruin anything.

• 1:30:58Speaker 00

  We referenced it here when he came on.

• 1:31:00Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:31:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, as like a touch point for a lot of us to him. Because a lot of us didn't know who he was until.

• 1:31:04Speaker 01

  Didn't know him.

• 1:31:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:05Speaker 01

  And, and you're like, don't know what's going on. It's like, remember the person who said 28 days later?

• 1:31:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:11Speaker 01

  And like, you don't know what's going on and the characters don't know what's going on. So it was pretty interesting. That's it. You're like, what is, what's happening?

• 1:31:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:18Speaker 01

  While he, in the story, is trying to figure out. It was, it's a masterpiece.

• 1:31:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:23Speaker 01

  And then got some little views, nobody knew him. And then like a year later.

• 1:31:27Speaker 00

  Cracked.

• 1:31:27Speaker 01

  Somebody on Reddit said, have you seen this? And it got, and that was the joy of it. A year later, a million views.

• 1:31:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:35Speaker 01

  And, and it was a guy, for a guy like that, that has, I, I don't have five minutes of Let Out stuff.

• 1:31:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  But there's no place for me.

• 1:31:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:43Speaker 01

  And him, and Miss Pat, Jessa Reed, uh, Big Jay.

• 1:31:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  Joey, I'm like, well, now there is a place.

• 1:31:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  And people started prepping stuff for it.

• 1:31:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:53Speaker 01

  And it was like, pretty great, alright, and I was like, yeah, Alisa Deek is like, he's the-

• 1:31:58Speaker 00

  He's out of here now.

• 1:32:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:00Speaker 00

  He's out of here now, like, he, he's prolific, he's put out so many specials, it's like, amazing.

• 1:32:05Speaker 01

  The most prolific comic in the world. I don't know about India, maybe they have somebody.

• 1:32:10Speaker 00

  But in terms of ability to just create, create, create.

• 1:32:14Speaker 01

  At that high a level. So, he's the, he's, he is what the show is.

• 1:32:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:19Speaker 01

  Finding a guy like that.

• 1:32:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:21Speaker 01

  And it was, yeah, it was always great.

• 1:32:22Speaker 00

  So, how, how does it go wrong?

• 1:32:25Speaker 01

  So, I sold my, my special to a startup network, streaming service, I made my own special.

• 1:32:34Speaker 00

  Greed, is what he's trying to say.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  Called Netflix.

• 1:32:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:37Speaker 01

  And I was like, I think-

• 1:32:38Speaker 00

  Or I got greed.

• 1:32:39Speaker 01

  I made my own special and I wanted, no, by the way, less money.

• 1:32:41Speaker 00

  I'm just teasing.

• 1:32:42Speaker 01

  I just wanted people to see my special.

• 1:32:43Speaker 00

  This is the double special.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  Double special.

• 1:32:45Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:32:46Speaker 01

  Comedy Central didn't have the ability to put on a, a back-to-back, side A, side B thing.

• 1:32:50Speaker 00

  They're still locked into TV things and-

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  And they go, we'll take one of them, like, it's not one and then another, it's a double special, it's, it's, it's, it's like a double album, it's not two albums.

• 1:33:03Speaker 01

  So I sold it to them, and then Comedy Central lost their minds.

• 1:33:05Speaker 00

  What was really interesting about this and like-

• 1:33:07Speaker 01

  They lost their minds.

• 1:33:08Speaker 00

  This is the thing I feel like-

• 1:33:09Speaker 01

  How dare you, we're gonna fucking, we're gonna cut jobs and comedians if you don't give us your special. I'm like, no, you're not gonna blackmail me, I'm not the guy that force. I'll kill myself.

• 1:33:20Speaker 00

  But then-

• 1:33:21Speaker 01

  You know, I'll, I'll, in my career, I've done it a hundred times, do what's not best for myself.

• 1:33:26Speaker 00

  There's an important, there's an important, like, wrinkle to this story, which is, it's very common that these networks do what are called overall deals. Comedy Central's had overall deals for plenty of talent, the HBO did it, Netflix does it, like, this is a very common thing.

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  Let's lock you up.

• 1:33:40Speaker 00

  They didn't-

• 1:33:41Speaker 01

  That's how you would have to lock you up.

• 1:33:41Speaker 00

  They didn't do that for, maybe he wouldn't have done it, but like, there was never- Offer to him. So when you don't offer that, the the cost of that is the talent has the ability to do their special somewhere else without punitive measures taken. If if you don't want me to do that, it's very easy. If you believe in me as a creator, then lock me up for the long term.

• 1:34:01Speaker 01

  Mary Lynn Rice was on 24, but they called her a recurring character on for 24 episodes a season.

• 1:34:06Speaker 00

  This is the.

• 1:34:06Speaker 01

  And then she got Little Miss Sunshine. And like, no, no, we're shooting. I'm like, I'm not a series regular.

• 1:34:10Speaker 00

  You didn't make me, you didn't, you decided not to pay the money to keep me, and this is the risk. But to take, anyway, to take it out on you, I think is very unfair.

• 1:34:18Speaker 01

  They never, they saw me as an open mic'er who was lucky to have them.

• 1:34:21Speaker 00

  That's.

• 1:34:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I saw them as essentially, I'm bringing you the coolest show you've ever had. It's time to, it's time to not view me like that.

• 1:34:28Mark Gagnon?

  Crazy. What is it about Comedy Central that makes comedians go away off the grid for men long?

• 1:34:39Speaker 01

  Oh, and that's what it was fun. So I left in 2017 to Southeast Asia.

• 1:34:43Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:43Speaker 01

  I finished whatever. For four or five months. Oh, yeah, dude, I gotta talk to him about this.

• 1:34:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  And then, and then came back and sold my special to Netflix. And then, and then, yeah, they lost their minds and it was over. And then, and then.

• 1:34:56Mark Gagnon?

  You gave them the option and they rejected. They said, we don't want both things. We don't want it the way you want it.

• 1:35:01Speaker 01

  They go, I go, no, I'm gonna have a Netflix special. It'll help promote the TV show. They go, we don't see it that. We see it as our show is gonna promote Netflix. And I'm like, oh, you guys, you've already lost.

• 1:35:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is like end of an empire where you don't realize it.

• 1:35:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. So anyway, so then.

• 1:35:17Speaker 00

  But then they started doing nasty shit about like, if you don't come with us, we're gonna cut the amount of episodes. Like they did things that wouldn't just punish you, punish the people you were trying to put on.

• 1:35:25Speaker 01

  Punish the, the.

• 1:35:26Mark Gagnon?

  The staff.

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  The crew who had been, I mean, I got these guys. There was a time with season three, plus a couple of digital seasons. And I was like, let me get the, the director and the, and the producer, let me get him some mushrooms for job well done. And I talked to my mushroom guy and he goes, I'm actually getting out of the business. So if you want some, take more. I'm like, how much do you have? He goes, I got pounds. And I was like, I'll take it all.

• 1:35:47Speaker 00

  Oh, boy, all right.

• 1:35:48Speaker 01

  And I gave, I gave everyone mushrooms, every, every comic. I gave every, every grip, every fucking cameraman. At some point, the safety lady, I was like, I would go up to everyone, I was like, hey, do you do mushrooms? She goes, I know what you're doing. I cannot see it. Okay.

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  I haven't got much. Aaron Berg smuggled his home in a salad from Whole Foods because he was afraid of getting it back. Ali Siddique didn't understand what I was giving him. And he goes, how did Ari know I'm a vegetarian?

• 1:36:26Speaker 01

  And he lost his mind in a hotel room and thought he became white.

• 1:36:33Speaker 02

  No way.

• 1:36:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he told the story about it later. But like, yeah. I'm sorry, Ali. I thought you knew what I was doing. Who just gives dried mushrooms?

• 1:36:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is a peculiar gift.

• 1:36:45Speaker 02

  Oh, it wasn't in a chocolate, right? It was just a...

• 1:36:47Speaker 01

  No, it's in a baggie.

• 1:36:50Speaker 01

  Broccoli in a, in a, in a baggie this big.

• 1:36:53Speaker 00

  We weren't on mushrooms.

• 1:36:54Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 1:36:56Speaker 02

  Also, what if his friend is Ali that he was like, I'm gonna try Ari's gift? Like, they look disgusting.

• 1:37:02Speaker 01

  Maybe they're high-end, like, Chitauri. Yeah.

• 1:37:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. Anyway, there's, there's my family and they're gonna cut their job.

• 1:37:09Speaker 00

  You hear that, Bert? It wasn't just you.

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:16Speaker 00

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• 1:40:18Speaker 05

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• 1:40:47Speaker 01

  Pause!

• 1:40:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:48Speaker 01

  Uh, I give out Trippy Awards for best, all these different categories on my podcast. You've been tripping, travel podcast.

• 1:40:54Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:40:54Speaker 01

  You've done it, you've been anywhere?

• 1:40:55Speaker 00

  Great pod, yeah. I've been, oh, I would love to.

• 1:40:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:40:58Speaker 00

  Al's got good travel stories.

• 1:41:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, great.

• 1:41:02Speaker 02

  Got locked up in Sweden.

• 1:41:03Speaker 00

  He got locked up in Sweden.

• 1:41:04Speaker 01

  And I give out best episode, best trip, most dangerous, biggest piece of shit.

• 1:41:10Speaker 01

  This year, Louis Gomez did that for making his son jump into, off a cliff on waters. They're like, hey, you can't jump in here. It's low tide.

• 1:41:19Speaker 01

  You won most surprising this year. You won most surprising trippy for Burning Man.

• 1:41:23Speaker 00

  That's sick. That was a great app, dude.

• 1:41:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:25Speaker 00

  That was a really fun app.

• 1:41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, the finalists were you and Tucker Carlson.

• 1:41:28Speaker 00

  Get out of here.

• 1:41:29Speaker 01

  For not talking politics for an hour straight.

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you were the little final too, yeah.

• 1:41:35Speaker 00

  Yes. I think it's good I beat Tucker or something.

• 1:41:39Speaker 01

  Spur was trip of the year. Steph Tole was guest of the year.

• 1:41:42Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 1:41:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I make a little plug, I gotta get you a trophy.

• 1:41:44Speaker 00

  Well, thank you for that. That was a fun app, dude, yeah, we went deep.

• 1:41:47Speaker 01

  Anyway, so this, it was taken from me and it was a fucking hole in my heart for a long time.

• 1:41:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, because I think a lot of people assume that you just pitched the show to Comedy Central. They said yes, and then you did it. I don't think they understood like the lore behind it.

• 1:42:01Speaker 02

  That it was a baby that you kind of brought up.

• 1:42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, like who's this guy? Why is he even on this? I'm like, no, they didn't cast me.

• 1:42:05Speaker 02

  Then it got cut out of you and they played soccer with it. Yeah, like it just.

• 1:42:13Speaker 00

  Now we're making Ari uncomfortable with his old story.

• 1:42:16Speaker 01

  I should not have told you that. I should not have told you guys that story. I am.

• 1:42:20Speaker 02

  It's a bad story.

• 1:42:22Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 1:42:25Speaker 01

  There is something when you get that response, when you go.

• 1:42:31Speaker 00

  Dude, what was funny about it is the level of concern you had. And then the immediate laughter.

• 1:42:38Speaker 01

  Cause it's so wrong. I love wrong.

• 1:42:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:42:41Speaker 01

  It was so out of line what you said. And I was like, damn. And then you're all tagging. I'm like, this is. I talked to people.

• 1:42:48Speaker 00

  It's a team sport.

• 1:42:49Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Yeah.

• 1:42:53Speaker 01

  Dude, there was a guy, there was a Hasidic guy. I have new Hasidic fans.

• 1:42:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  And there was a Hasidic guy that showed up in my last special taping, Hasidic. So he was in the audience and I'm, my closer is a, is a pro Holocaust victim joke. Pro they should be victims.

• 1:43:08Speaker 00

  Oh, they should be. Okay.

• 1:43:09Speaker 01

  Pro, pro the Germans.

• 1:43:10Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:43:10Speaker 01

  And, and this guy, I mean, you know, you see certain audience members.

• 1:43:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:14Speaker 01

  He was like, what the fuck? I don't know what you can't joke about this. So ecstatic.

• 1:43:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:20Speaker 01

  He didn't know that was a possibility. Yeah, this joke about what I told you was so wrong. It's so funny.

• 1:43:27Speaker 02

  Wait, so the guy liked the joke?

• 1:43:28Speaker 00

  So hold on one second.

• 1:43:29Speaker 01

  He was like, I wasn't allowed to laugh at it. I've never heard a joke about this. Feel anger about this.

• 1:43:34Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:43:35Speaker 00

  So he was surprised by the Holocaust twice?

• 1:43:41Speaker 02

  This is not happening.

• 1:43:47Speaker 01

  That's my favorite, the montage of people leaving, the leaving.

• 1:43:50Speaker 02

  Interviews.

• 1:43:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. They always, they don't just take the thing. They always go, I understand. It's a sound guy. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna fuck him over. Yeah.

• 1:43:59Speaker 02

  That's what people on Twitter describe the Holocaust.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  Fake?

• 1:44:02Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah. This is not happening.

• 1:44:06Speaker 00

  We're cooking with gas, boys.

• 1:44:12Speaker 00

  Okay, okay, so you get an opportunity to get it back.

• 1:44:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, it's not an opportunity. I was like, I have to have some time to think straight.

• 1:44:23Speaker 00

  Well, the show gets continued without you, which is, I think, an important distinction.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  Roy Wood took over.

• 1:44:28Speaker 00

  And to Roy's credit, called you, which is...

• 1:44:30Speaker 01

  Hundred percent, said, hey, I won't do this, if you want me to do it, what do you want me to do here? They told, like, let's discuss. And I was like, dude, if you don't do it...

• 1:44:36Speaker 00

  They're gonna cut it from all these comedians.

• 1:44:38Speaker 01

  Comedians won't get a chance. Ryan O'Neal got a chance that year. He wouldn't know if the show went away. I'm like, do it, dude, do it. And I was like, but get that across the board deal. Make them buy a script from you. Like, they need you right now. Remember when South by Southwest didn't have any women? And then they were like, oh shit, they got a heat for it. And they went to, like, Chelsea Peretti, and she goes, I got paid. Because I know why you're calling me.

• 1:45:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:01Speaker 01

  Bring it.

• 1:45:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm filling a hole for you.

• 1:45:03Speaker 00

  You're not doing this because you want me.

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:45:05Speaker 00

  So you're gonna pay me.

• 1:45:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. So I was like, yeah, get it, and so we did. Honored the show, wore a goofy outfit like I always did, you know? But, you know, it didn't end the way it should have ended, which is me taking it out. And so it was always like, I gotta get back to this. And then COVID hit, and I'm trying to look at the positives. That's my last special, America's Sweetheart on Netflix. Find positives in everything. Sure, I was out of a job, but I went to Ecuador for six months while my industry collapsed. And every comic here was wildly succeeding. I was taking off and eating fucking cooey and... That's Jerome. But like, I had time to think clearly. And I'm like, it's time to do it again.

• 1:45:48Speaker 01

  I can, like, all this stuff is off my, just like this trip, stuff's off my plate. I can think clearly.

• 1:45:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:54Speaker 01

  And I'm like, yeah, let's do it. So I called Eric, I'm like, let's do it. And he's like, let's put in all our money. And then I talked to Tom Segura, and I was like, can you help? And he goes, I got a whole, I got a whole, like, not industry, what's it called?

• 1:46:08Speaker 00

  Team.

• 1:46:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, team, pretty much. Infrastructure here.

• 1:46:12Speaker 00

  Infrastructure.

• 1:46:13Speaker 01

  Some people that would love to make this the first non-Tom Segura production we make.

• 1:46:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:46:19Speaker 01

  We'd be on the show, he was, he had great dosing himself on GHB and ending up in the hospital story early on.

• 1:46:27Speaker 01

  So he helped.

• 1:46:30Speaker 01

  And then we're like, let's make it. And we did. And then we start scouting places. We gotta do it right. Cheetahs, the place we had is all built up and all like, like LED screens now. You can't go back there. And then also we had to like, separate a little from the old show. And then.

• 1:46:44Speaker 00

  You know where they did it?

• 1:46:45Speaker 01

  Where?

• 1:46:45Speaker 00

  The box.

• 1:46:47Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, get out of here. Oh, it's fire.

• 1:46:49Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 1:46:49Mark Gagnon?

  That's fire.

• 1:46:50Speaker 01

  Had the vibe. The vibe we had at that tranny strip club in Montreal.

• 1:46:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:46:55Speaker 01

  You go up the steps, you're seeing these like faded pictures of these like trans strippers and you're like, I'm in a dark place now. And if somebody's telling me a story about some shit they did, I'm not gonna judge them.

• 1:47:04Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 1:47:05Speaker 01

  Cause this is not glossy. I like going downstairs to the cellar.

• 1:47:07Speaker 00

  I.

• 1:47:08Speaker 01

  Downstairs rooms.

• 1:47:09Speaker 00

  I agree completely. It sets its own for the audience. Like if you're doing it at like, some, uh, some like university hall.

• 1:47:16Speaker 01

  Syracuse Improv, yeah.

• 1:47:17Speaker 00

  There's just too high an expectation.

• 1:47:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it was like, yeah, so we're like, we finally.

• 1:47:22Speaker 00

  The box is built around debauchery.

• 1:47:24Speaker 01

  Debauchery.

• 1:47:25Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, perfect.

• 1:47:26Speaker 01

  I mean, the last time I was, I don't wanna get him in trouble. But I will tell you, so I went last time, they were like, hey, if you're gonna do a show, I was like, you know what? I need to hear the sound system in use. And I wanna see if they had.

• 1:47:37Speaker 00

  Tell the story about when you went.

• 1:47:39Speaker 01

  I, I, I need to go, I mean, Chappelle used to throw comedians balls there.

• 1:47:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:47:43Speaker 01

  Um, and I don't really know him that well.

• 1:47:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:47Speaker 01

  Um, he's always got a posse of 30 people. And I'm not, that's not my vibe. Me and Etelle once, we used to go to diners every late night. And then he comes upstairs one time and goes, you guys wanna go eat? Like, yeah, we're actually about to go eat. Sure. And then 40 more people like, yeah, well, I'm like, enjoy, buddy. It's not, I'm not itching to get close to you. Uh, yeah, he'd throw these comedian balls, which is like, come, I want you guys to talk to each other. Shoot the shit. Beer's on me.

• 1:48:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:48:14Speaker 01

  Drinks on me. Enjoy yourself. I mean, so cool. And I saw him at the cellar brunch, like a week or two later. I was like, oh, thanks for the comedian ball. It's no problem. He's like, dude, I got a handjob upstairs. He goes, oh, right, man. That's why I do it. He was so stoked. It's like, nice. But anyway, so I was like, I wanna see how the sound system.

• 1:48:34Speaker 00

  Let's get back to the old style handies.

• 1:48:38Speaker 01

  So I was like, let me see what I had to make sure the sound, it's not a comedy room.

• 1:48:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:42Speaker 01

  So I gotta see how it works and I know they have cordless mics. I'm like, I want, I'm gonna put the stage in a different place. I wanna see how it works if they're in a different place. So I'm like, can I come one night? Absolutely. And I mean, the MC, she's got so much power. She's moving all around. So she is where we built the stage, on the ramp down, and you can hear clearly. I'm like, fine. But I'm up there and I'm on way too much Molly.

• 1:49:05Speaker 02

  You're all going crazy?

• 1:49:06Speaker 01

  You're all going crazy and I was just doing this and then I just hear it snap. And my tooth just shattered.

• 1:49:13Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:49:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, it was good Molly. What a fun night.

• 1:49:20Speaker 02

  Like a back molar?

• 1:49:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, and just goes, and then I had to go to the dentist. Like, what happened? I was like, I'll tell the assistant, but I'm not telling an actual doctor. You're not, you're not gonna understand this.

• 1:49:32Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 1:49:33Speaker 01

  What a fun place. What a fun place.

• 1:49:38Speaker 02

  Did you party the rest of the night? Cause like being on Molly and breaking your tooth.

• 1:49:41Speaker 00

  You're not even feeling it.

• 1:49:41Speaker 01

  I'm not feeling it. I was like, we did it.

• 1:49:45Speaker 00

  Did you get a replacement tooth?

• 1:49:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, somewhere back there.

• 1:49:48Speaker 00

  Gold tooth?

• 1:49:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh-uh. No offense, but.

• 1:49:53Speaker 01

  No, I didn't even consider.

• 1:49:53Speaker 00

  That was actually. That might be you.

• 1:49:59Speaker 01

  Dries and blacks, no tipping and gold in grills or whatever.

• 1:50:03Speaker 02

  Is there some Molly still stuck in there, dude?

• 1:50:04Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be great.

• 1:50:06Speaker 02

  You floss and trip a little? It's kinda nice.

• 1:50:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, so we did it there. It was so cool and iconic and like, and like dark and like. Man, I'm really stoked. It went so well. Everybody brought it. It went so well. I'm happy. I know that's lame as a comedian, but I am happy.

• 1:50:28Speaker 00

  I hate that thing where we gotta be miserable, sad and molested. It's like, I think it's such an attention grab, to be honest with you.

• 1:50:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. And everyone, are you fucking with it? So I'm like, Tom was like, I have a.

• 1:50:39Speaker 02

  You all gotta be molested?

• 1:50:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, we all gotta be molested.

• 1:50:41Speaker 00

  There was a moment where it was like, somebody described. You don't remember where like comics started talking about like, they got all their STDs they got and like if they were touched and all this other shit? And I was like, okay, I got it. So it's this like, I'm incredibly honest about the weirdest.

• 1:50:56Speaker 02

  Radical vulnerability.

• 1:50:58Speaker 00

  Radical vulnerability, yeah.

• 1:51:00Speaker 01

  Ms. Pat was telling a story in Montreal, that strip club, and it was, she glanced over this. And I didn't understand it for like two minutes. But she goes, it was something along the lines of, my uncle took out his dick and it smelled like raw chicken. And I was like, we're all laughing. And then I was like, wait, was she just, she just said she got molested?

• 1:51:22Speaker 00

  Is she a victim?

• 1:51:23Speaker 01

  And she's not a victim and she never will be.

• 1:51:25Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:51:26Speaker 01

  She played it as a comic. And I was like, that's the, I mean, I keep thinking about that for a decade. How cool that was to not wallow in it at all.

• 1:51:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:51:35Speaker 01

  To not lose her job. Her job is funny. She's not gonna be like, now let's get serious for 20 minutes in the middle for no reason.

• 1:51:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:51:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:51:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. So anyway, I'm stoked. I finished the show. So I'm, so Tom's like, I have a streaming, put it up on there.

• 1:51:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:51:49Speaker 01

  We'll recoup, give out the money. Yeah. So it's available right now. Five dollars off.

• 1:51:55Speaker 00

  Wait a minute, it's available to watch or it's available to preorder?

• 1:51:57Speaker 01

  Preorder now.

• 1:51:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:51:59Speaker 01

  Twenty-five dollars instead of 30 for seven hour-long episodes.

• 1:52:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a great deal, dude.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  At first I was like, 10 bucks each, 70 dollars. And then all the young staff of YMH was like, zero chance.

• 1:52:11Speaker 00

  Well, people are hurting.

• 1:52:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:12Speaker 00

  People are hurting right now.

• 1:52:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:14Speaker 00

  But you.

• 1:52:14Speaker 02

  But the lineup itself is crazy.

• 1:52:15Speaker 00

  The lineup is crazy.

• 1:52:17Speaker 02

  I mean, like Shane to Norman to everyone else.

• 1:52:19Speaker 01

  To Riga Comics.

• 1:52:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:52:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:21Speaker 01

  It's crazy how much more successful this has become.

• 1:52:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:25Speaker 01

  From when it started.

• 1:52:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:27Speaker 01

  Where Ralphie's like, he's the most successful one. It's like Tempe Improv.

• 1:52:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:31Speaker 01

  Now it's like arenas.

• 1:52:33Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 1:52:34Speaker 02

  That's so cool.

• 1:52:34Speaker 00

  No, no. Stadiums now.

• 1:52:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. The link. Fluffy and.

• 1:52:38Speaker 01

  Do you remember last time I was in here?

• 1:52:39Speaker 00

  Tell me.

• 1:52:39Speaker 01

  I had this memory coming up here. Last time I was in here, I think you were getting ready to play the Beacon or something.

• 1:52:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:44Speaker 01

  And I put this in, if you could find it. I was like, I got a prediction. That has not been done. I think you're gonna play Madison Square Garden.

• 1:52:52Speaker 00

  No, you didn't.

• 1:52:52Speaker 01

  And you're like, we'll see about that.

• 1:52:55Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:52:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hey, here's a prediction before we leave.

• 1:52:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:58Speaker 01

  In the, within, before 2025, Andrew Schulz will play Madison Square Garden. Ah! That'd be sick. And I will be there taking tickets.

• 1:53:09Speaker 00

  Wow, you came, it's been that long since you've been on?

• 1:53:11Speaker 01

  It was due, it was special. So I was 20.

• 1:53:15Speaker 00

  23?

• 1:53:15Speaker 01

  Two, 2022, maybe?

• 1:53:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, I was still mad at him.

• 1:53:26Speaker 01

  We gotta bring this up.

• 1:53:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:53:30Speaker 00

  So, time does heal all wounds.

• 1:53:34Speaker 00

  Pray for me, pray for me, pray for me. Or he's proof.

• 1:53:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I put all my money into this, so like, you know.

• 1:53:45Speaker 00

  Go support it.

• 1:53:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you want, I did it with you, if you wanna support this kinda outsider shit.

• 1:53:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:53:51Speaker 01

  If I, if you've ever wanted to support me, this is the time. Get your five dollars off. It's like three bucks an episode at this point for crazy names. And, and, and it's great.

• 1:54:01Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:54:02Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 1:54:03Speaker 00

  It's awesome. I, I'm, I'm very excited for it. You said, when is it coming out?

• 1:54:06Speaker 01

  It's coming out April 16th, right before Hitler's birthday.

• 1:54:09Speaker 00

  Jesus.

• 1:54:13Speaker 01

  On 4/20, also 4/20.

• 1:54:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, also 4/20.

• 1:54:15Speaker 01

  4/20 is a better.

• 1:54:15Speaker 02

  And our guy, Tom Casseta worked on it too.

• 1:54:17Speaker 01

  And Tom Casseta.

• 1:54:18Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, shout out the goat, man.

• 1:54:20Speaker 01

  He's the goat.

• 1:54:20Speaker 00

  All you'll go, Tom Casseta.

• 1:54:22Speaker 01

  He is, I told you this before, if he's not available when I'm rolling a recorded special.

• 1:54:26Speaker 02

  You don't do it.

• 1:54:27Speaker 01

  I don't do it.

• 1:54:27Speaker 00

  You don't do it. Yeah, I'm trying to tell everybody, man, it's kinda funny and like people will.

• 1:54:32Speaker 01

  Did Norman's last one?

• 1:54:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, people will skimp, people will skimp on.

• 1:54:36Speaker 01

  Skip on sound.

• 1:54:37Speaker 00

  I, it's the one thing in comedy.

• 1:54:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:40Speaker 00

  That you cannot skimp on.

• 1:54:42Speaker 01

  You gotta feel like you're in the room.

• 1:54:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:54:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's an audio medium, really, like, blind people can enjoy comedy. Deaf people have a way harder.

• 1:54:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wish they would, but, yeah. Wait, let's get back to this trip.

• 1:54:53Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, no, no, before we get back to the trip.

• 1:54:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:57Speaker 00

  Um, it's, it's called The End.

• 1:54:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was gonna bring that up. It's a great title.

• 1:55:01Speaker 00

  I don't want it to be The End.

• 1:55:03Speaker 01

  It's The End, buddy.

• 1:55:04Speaker 00

  No, I want it to be more, man.

• 1:55:06Speaker 01

  I know, when I asked you, like, hey, eventually, like, first you're like, yes. There's a couple people like, yes, and then something came up and they quit. Santino was like, instant yes. Then he's like, oh dude, no, we've been planning this trip to Mexico for, for two years, I can't. I don't like, and he was like, you were like, yes, and then you're like, hey, I haven't been on stage. I just can't.

• 1:55:24Speaker 00

  Let's see how this sells. It probably not gonna be the end.

• 1:55:27Speaker 01

  It's not my driving force. It's not what drives me.

• 1:55:29Speaker 02

  But it is the end of the saga.

• 1:55:31Speaker 00

  I had a theory, guys.

• 1:55:32Speaker 02

  The first thing, and now you get the ending that you never.

• 1:55:34Speaker 01

  So it's like, it's a double meaning. It's the end, like a story, you know, the end, and it's the end of the story. The show has a story of its own.

• 1:55:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:55:41Speaker 01

  Came from a fucking broom closet.

• 1:55:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:55:43Speaker 01

  It went up to this. We played the, we sold out the Ryman Theater with like surprise names.

• 1:55:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:55:48Speaker 01

  And then now we're, it's.

• 1:55:50Speaker 00

  I don't wanna harp on this anymore, but I do.

• 1:55:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're like, you're like, I'll do the next season. I'm like, there's no next season.

• 1:55:54Speaker 00

  No, no, there's a next season. There's a next season. But like, to me, it's just, and I think Comedy Central's ego got in the way. And I think that ego got in the way of a lot of stuff when you're the only game in town. That often happens. And it's like, you know, that you maybe stopped thinking that the talent is the reason why things are successful. And you think that the executives are, but that's a different conversation.

• 1:56:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:56:12Speaker 00

  But it's so rare that a platform is interesting for people that you do not know who they are. You know, Kill Tony's been able to do this.

• 1:56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:23Speaker 00

  But this is so rare. So if I'm.

• 1:56:25Speaker 01

  Tony's story was great.

• 1:56:26Speaker 00

  Tony, Tony did this one also, by the way.

• 1:56:28Speaker 01

  Great story.

• 1:56:28Speaker 00

  But like, it's so rare. So if I'm in network, I'm looking at this and going, I've been spending so much money trying to get people into the next generation of comics. And I have not been able to, unfortunately, we all wanna see our, when our friends get opportunities, we all wanna see them fucking blow up and succeed. And a lot of them do it, and then end up just clipping it and putting it online and hoping it works online.

• 1:56:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:56:48Speaker 00

  This was an actual property where people were excited about the story, not the person telling it. And then.

• 1:56:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ali, it's sad. You didn't know who they were.

• 1:56:58Speaker 00

  And then became excited about the person telling it and wanted to see more fucking stories from them. It is exactly what, if I was in charge of a network or something, is exactly the type of, of show that I would do to incubate talent. And if I actually really wanted comics to become more successful and have flourishing careers, which should be the idea of your, of your network, right? Because it's based on that. Like, it's the exact thing that I would want to do. So, again, I hope this crushes. I hope you never have to do anything that you don't wanna do again. But there is a part of me that goes like, man, if this became another big platform, great opportunities for comics who right now, I think, kind of don't know what to do. They're like. Do I post things on TikTok? Do I put a YouTube special out? There's a million YouTube specials out. It's like, I don't think a lot of them know what to do.

• 1:57:41Speaker 01

  That is, that, that is.

• 1:57:42Speaker 00

  And you're not picky on like name size. This has all the big names.

• 1:57:45Speaker 01

  I want story, I like submit a story to me.

• 1:57:47Speaker 00

  You want the stories.

• 1:57:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, so sometimes you would go to people's agents and I'm like, hey, do they have a story? They're like, are you offering the show? And I'm like, no.

• 1:57:53Speaker 00

  It's like, what are we doing?

• 1:57:53Speaker 01

  I need to see what they're gonna do. And they're like, I'm not telling, I'm not telling my high-end client that you want to talk about a maybe booking. I'm like, I should have gone to it myself right away.

• 1:58:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, just go directly.

• 1:58:03Speaker 01

  Fucked up, like going to Jews first.

• 1:58:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, that is a nice thing to like give more of it. The column was like, I'm excited for, I'm excited for people to see us, something he worked hard on and lived like a piece of shit. He won piece of shit of the year for, for Trippie Award for the first, yeah, for his first year. Like, yeah, like some of these guys, like, like they were just like great and I'm excited for you to see these unknowns that are like, that was awesome. The reason you go see a name is because you're more likely to have a good time.

• 1:58:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's.

• 1:58:36Speaker 01

  I know if I go see you, this is gonna be good. If you go to a high-end restaurant, it's gonna be a good meal.

• 1:58:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:58:42Speaker 01

  And so you don't want to take a chance on an unknown. But I'm telling you, I vetted everyone. So trust me as the curator.

• 1:58:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, and that's what happens when, again, that's what happens when you have somebody who's curating things that are gonna be interesting. And all it takes is one or two stories from somebody you didn't know for you to be locked in. And all it takes is one or two that suck from somebody you don't know for you to be out. And I think that's maybe what comedy sense from I learned or whatever. But it's like, you need somebody who is looking out for the product and the product isn't necessarily just the biggest names. Yes, this one has it, but the people that are gonna surprise you, the ones that are gonna blow you away.

• 1:59:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:21Speaker 00

  That's kind of what sustains the product.

• 1:59:23Speaker 01

  But I'm not booking like, like Brad Pitt, who's like, I don't know if you're a good comedian. I'm booking Shane Gillis, who's like, yeah, he's your big name, but you're also a great comic.

• 1:59:33Speaker 00

  Fantastic at the thing, yeah.

• 1:59:34Speaker 01

  It's like, yeah, Nate's a great comic. I know him as a great comic before he was getting like sellout bonuses.

• 1:59:39Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:59:40Speaker 01

  So like, so it's best of both worlds.

• 1:59:41Speaker 02

  Did you say no to any stories because you felt that, not on a quality basis, but you felt like the story was too vulgar, too intense, too political or anything like that?

• 1:59:52Speaker 00

  What about?

• 1:59:53Speaker 01

  Oh, no, something I will say, I don't, I I'm not that interested in stories about the industry.

• 1:59:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:59:59Speaker 01

  Um, losing out on a part is like not that interesting.

• 2:00:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, the stakes are low.

• 2:00:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, but no, go vote, no, I would never.

• 2:00:07Speaker 00

  But what I think you do do is you'll be honest with the comic.

• 2:00:10Speaker 01

  This isn't good enough.

• 2:00:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:00:12Speaker 01

  I've gotten people mad at me before, for sure, where I'm like, it's not, this is a story of something that almost happened. It was never really even on the table. You just thought it was gonna happen.

• 2:00:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:00:20Speaker 01

  And then you realize.

• 2:00:21Speaker 00

  And the ending.

• 2:00:22Speaker 01

  Like, I wasn't even that guy. So you were never in any danger.

• 2:00:24Speaker 00

  It's a different, it's a different thing than stand up. Like, there are people who are fucking amazing. We were talking about someone who was amazing at stand up, like amazing, and they worked on something and and you just were honest. You're like, hey, you're incredible. Like, you're the reason why I wanted you to do it. I don't know if this is there yet. But that's the thing that I think when the network is making a decision, they're going, well, we already have them signed up for a special. So this will be a great promotional opportunity for the next special. And then you start diluting the.

• 2:00:48Speaker 01

  The conversation was like, just do this to him. Like, no, it takes some time. Like, well, they have a good story. I'm like, but they gotta work out the beats of that. It takes a lot. Some of my stories have taken plus a year to to get right, to find a right ending of like, of like a thank you, good night, where you just know. It's like, that's just not easy.

• 2:01:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:06Speaker 00

  Dream guest.

• 2:01:11Speaker 01

  Um, I was.

• 2:01:11Speaker 00

  They don't have to be comic, by the way. They could be anybody. But some somebody that you're like, oh, man, this guy tells great stories. I think this would be awesome.

• 2:01:18Speaker 01

  Jeffries, I was really trying to get.

• 2:01:20Speaker 00

  Oh, has he not done it?

• 2:01:21Speaker 01

  He's done a lot. The live shows are, to me, they blend in at this point.

• 2:01:24Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 2:01:25Speaker 01

  Because they're just so good.

• 2:01:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, Jeffries is phenomenal.

• 2:01:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a great storyteller.

• 2:01:28Speaker 00

  Great storyteller.

• 2:01:32Speaker 01

  Who I've never gotten.

• 2:01:32Speaker 00

  Any non-comic that you're like, every time I hear this guy talk, it's fascinating.

• 2:01:36Speaker 01

  David Sedaris would be really cool.

• 2:01:38Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 2:01:39Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, I'm trying to think. If I could get someone to, because we've had some non-comics on over the, Henry Rollins told one of the best ever on the old Isn't That Happening? Um, if I get someone to tell some out of who they like, like if I could get like

• 2:01:55Speaker 00

  Marilyn.

• 2:01:55Speaker 01

  Tucker Carlson to tell a story about following the dead around. Back when he was a drug addict. I'd like, that would be interesting to me.

• 2:02:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:02:03Speaker 01

  You know, Bernie Sanders losing his virginity story.

• 2:02:06Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 2:02:06Speaker 01

  Would be a fun, that'd be a fun story, you know?

• 2:02:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:02:09Speaker 01

  Those would be fun.

• 2:02:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, you have to go, go.

• 2:02:11Speaker 02

  Jason Williams.

• 2:02:13Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:02:13Speaker 02

  White chocolate.

• 2:02:14Speaker 00

  Yes. Amazing, dude. He's incredible.

• 2:02:16Speaker 02

  Fantastic stories.

• 2:02:18Speaker 00

  He's incredible.

• 2:02:19Speaker 02

  Unbelievable. He's someone to consider. I thought.

• 2:02:21Speaker 01

  Oh, Josh Homme would be a really good one. He gets into fights.

• 2:02:23Speaker 00

  Who's that?

• 2:02:24Speaker 01

  Queens of the Stone Age lead singer.

• 2:02:25Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:02:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, him, I actually tried to get a few times.

• 2:02:28Speaker 00

  Really?

• 2:02:28Speaker 01

  We were, we were not close, I guess, but like border there on Dolly Parton one year. Oh, no, not Dolly Parton. We tried to get her. The chick who died, who had all the plastic surgery, the comedian. She's a comedian, I guess.

• 2:02:39Speaker 00

  John Rivers.

• 2:02:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was close.

• 2:02:41Speaker 02

  Oh, that would've been awesome.

• 2:02:42Speaker 00

  That's the thing. It's like, if you go with the celeb, if you go with the celeb poppin', it can't just be that they're a celeb.

• 2:02:50Speaker 01

  Right, no.

• 2:02:51Speaker 00

  The story has to almost be bigger than them being a celeb.

• 2:02:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. The story Dolly, the stories Dolly Parton tells when she's on stage is about her being poor in North Carolina.

• 2:02:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:03:00Speaker 01

  And not, not the first time it sold out an arena.

• 2:03:02Speaker 00

  Exactly, yeah.

• 2:03:03Speaker 01

  Who cares? That's rude.

• 2:03:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the story has to be primary.

• 2:03:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, Jay says it. He was like, don't ever tell a success story.

• 2:03:09Speaker 00

  Oh, no, we don't want to hear that. That's what's the best.

• 2:03:13Mark Gagnon?

  You ever have Kev on stage do it? You know Kev on stage? He's a comic. I just saw his new hour and it's about like dealing with the grief of his brother passing away. And it's like the funniest thing and you cry and then you laugh again. It's fucking.

• 2:03:26Speaker 01

  Kev is, oh, check him out.

• 2:03:26Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, Kev is amazing.

• 2:03:28Speaker 01

  It's a cool thing. He's a New Yorker?

• 2:03:29Mark Gagnon?

  Uh, no, Atlanta. Well, now he's in LA though.

• 2:03:31Speaker 01

  Atlanta? Interesting.

• 2:03:33Speaker 00

  Anyway, I'm sure you're gonna get these pictures more and more as this thing blows the fuck up.

• 2:03:36Speaker 01

  That was the cool thing about the old show is people go, I have a story. Can you come watch them? I'm like, 100%, I'll come.

• 2:03:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:03:42Speaker 01

  And then like, yeah, aim. This is what Nate and I talk about. Nate has a clean network so people can aim for something.

• 2:03:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:03:48Speaker 01

  Cause all the platforms are gone and he wants them to aim.

• 2:03:51Speaker 00

  And there's so much out there that filtration is gonna be good.

• 2:03:53Speaker 01

  And if like, I can't have you on, if it's like, oh, we got full or whatever, it's like, I'm sorry you got left with a 12 minute closer you worked hard on.

• 2:04:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:04:00Speaker 01

  You can use on the road.

• 2:04:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. That's the other thing. It's like, you know, comedy, comedy, when you're really working at it.

• 2:04:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:10Speaker 00

  Reaps amazing rewards. And then sometimes it comes so naturally to people that the hard work is absent.

• 2:04:16Speaker 01

  You don't notice it.

• 2:04:17Speaker 00

  You don't notice.

• 2:04:17Speaker 01

  I talked about with Casseta. I was like, if anyone sees your hand in this, you failed, but the amount of work you're doing, it sounded good. You have no idea how hard he worked.

• 2:04:27Speaker 00

  You know, you know, it was, you know, the first special that I like recognized sound. Do you know Bill Burr when he did the, the Royal?

• 2:04:35Speaker 01

  Albert Hall?

• 2:04:36Speaker 00

  Albert Hall. Royal Albert Hall.

• 2:04:37Speaker 01

  Binder was the director of that one.

• 2:04:38Speaker 00

  I think.

• 2:04:39Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:04:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:04:39Speaker 02

  It was Paper Tiger, I think.

• 2:04:41Speaker 00

  Was that Paper Tiger?

• 2:04:42Speaker 02

  Maybe. I think so.

• 2:04:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:04:44Speaker 00

  I would look up, but uh, I saw this, this room that looked like the biggest room ever. It's just the way that it's shaped. It's beautiful. It's like an unbelievable.

• 2:04:51Speaker 01

  That was the first reverse shot that I'm like, this is justified.

• 2:04:53Speaker 00

  That was the reverse?

• 2:04:54Speaker 01

  It's actually so cool. Usually they do it for like some other reason, but I'm like, what are you showing me?

• 2:04:58Speaker 00

  They do it for the reason of, is it, is it Paper Tiger? So they do it for the reason of look how big the room is.

• 2:05:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:05:03Speaker 00

  But this room is so.

• 2:05:04Speaker 01

  I'm playing a big room, trying to show off, but it's like, yeah, it was gorgeous.

• 2:05:07Speaker 00

  This room is gorgeous.

• 2:05:08Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:05:09Speaker 00

  And it's, it might be the most beautiful shot in a stand up special. And uh, but I remember looking at the size of the room and I go, how the fuck? Cause you know, Bill doesn't just do like, and punchline, and then everybody laughs. He'll talk through punchlines.

• 2:05:20Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:05:21Speaker 00

  And when you're in a room that size.

• 2:05:22Speaker 01

  You gotta wait longer.

• 2:05:23Speaker 00

  You gotta wait, but no, you could hear them laughing and him riding the momentum. And it was a kind of a dance. It was.

• 2:05:29Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:05:30Speaker 00

  And I think what happens is a lot of times audio guys, we're going inside baseball. The second they hear someone talking, they go, we gotta take down, exactly. And it's like, no, when you're at a comedy club, sometimes you'll miss a word.

• 2:05:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:05:40Speaker 00

  Because it's fucking loud.

• 2:05:40Speaker 01

  Early Rogan, I saw Rogan at the, he was like, when I was a door guy there.

• 2:05:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:05:44Speaker 01

  He was a crusher.

• 2:05:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:05:47Speaker 01

  Just doing date night stuff and like, Tiger's fucking and like, a crusher. And like, you're like, you'd see this, it's a glory. It was awful. I'm just like watching comedians and like, wow. And I remember people laughing in, in different.

• 2:06:00Speaker 00

  Parts of the joke, yeah.

• 2:06:01Speaker 01

  So like, they be dying, I can't hear you. Now I'm dying, you can't hear. And then it's back and forth on who can hear and who can't. But he was just bullied through.

• 2:06:09Speaker 00

  And that's what works.

• 2:06:10Speaker 01

  That's Boston comedy.

• 2:06:11Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:06:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, I don't have time to breathe because you'll call me a homosexual.

• 2:06:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, for real, Burr.

• 2:06:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:16Speaker 00

  So it's like, Patrice.

• 2:06:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:18Speaker 00

  That style of just kind of stepping on, and, and I heard it from that special, and I was like, wow, whoever did this is brilliant because they found a way to, to maintain the momentum. And then you're watching it and you kind of get caught up in the momentum.

• 2:06:31Speaker 01

  Who did the sound on it?

• 2:06:32Speaker 00

  We looked.

• 2:06:35Speaker 00

  But, and then, uh, then we got, uh, Cassette, I think, for Infamous, and he just fucking did this unbelievable. He gave us a pass for Infamous where he didn't even like touch it. It was the first thing. And I was like, I thought you edited the whole thing.

• 2:06:46Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 2:06:46Speaker 00

  No, this is what I did live.

• 2:06:48Speaker 01

  I got him for Adrian's special.

• 2:06:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:06:50Speaker 01

  Produced, um.

• 2:06:52Speaker 00

  At The View, right?

• 2:06:53Speaker 01

  Cellar.

• 2:06:55Speaker 00

  Oh, you did it at the McDougal?

• 2:06:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:57Speaker 00

  McDougal Room, wow, okay, cool.

• 2:06:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I try to help some comics do their specials and they each need something different.

• 2:07:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, she needed money and a director.

• 2:07:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:09Speaker 01

  And I was like, I'll get your money back. So I'll put in the money. And then we got the, the best director, Louis CK.

• 2:07:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, Louis did it.

• 2:07:16Speaker 01

  Who made it look so cool. But, but Cassette put it in there. And it's a hundred and forty-four seat room. God, by the way, so easy. So fun talking to Louis about it because he's also a comic.

• 2:07:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:26Speaker 01

  So I'm like, I don't want more than twelve seat kills, more than fourteen.

• 2:07:29Speaker 00

  You need, that's ten percent of the audience.

• 2:07:31Speaker 01

  Nine, nine. Time tops. We're like, oh, great, taken care of. I don't have to worry about that all day. But then Cassette comes in, I'm like, how many, how many, uh, mics do you have? He's like, one for every seven people.

• 2:07:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, it's unbelievable.

• 2:07:42Speaker 01

  Everyone else puts in like one zoom and hopes.

• 2:07:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's, the nice thing about comics putting their own shit out is that we will know, who did it, who did it sound with?

• 2:07:51Speaker 01

  Michael Alcantara and Teddy Salas was the mixer.

• 2:07:53Speaker 00

  Great job, guys.

• 2:07:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07:55Speaker 00

  But yeah, like, us putting out our own shit, we understand what it should sound like.

• 2:08:01Speaker 01

  So, so I was with Casetta doing the levels for this.

• 2:08:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:08:04Speaker 01

  Before I left town.

• 2:08:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:08:05Speaker 01

  I was like, get bass levels so you can work while I'm gone. Let's get the right, like, lean into the lead in, you know?

• 2:08:13Speaker 01

  And then I was like, you're working on Norman's? And he goes, actually, I just got told that I'm not.

• 2:08:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:08:18Speaker 01

  Cause he's, he'd like, I don't know, he's like, this is costing me way too much money. And I texted Norman, I'm like, dude, you can skimp out on whatever you want.

• 2:08:26Speaker 00

  Not the sound.

• 2:08:27Speaker 01

  Not the sound. That is money well spent. And then I got a call from the cassette of like, did you say something? I'm back in. That's his special that just came out. And it sounds great.

• 2:08:37Speaker 00

  I'm telling you, bro. It's the number one.

• 2:08:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:08:40Speaker 00

  And there's one guy that can do it, his name is Tom Casetta.

• 2:08:44Speaker 01

  And Duvu. Two guys.

• 2:08:45Speaker 00

  And Duvu. Well, Tom works with Duvu, right?

• 2:08:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:08:48Speaker 00

  And now Tom is just doing amazing shit, anyway. But, okay, so before we wrap this up, back to your, your, your journey.

• 2:08:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:08:56Speaker 02

  Can I ask you a question?

• 2:08:57Speaker 00

  Please.

• 2:08:57Speaker 01

  Yes, sir.

• 2:08:57Speaker 02

  In your travels. Did you? Did you? I'm very studious today. That's the vibe. Did you, uh, cry at all? Like, was there a moment where you were just like, you cried? Did anything affect you emotionally?

• 2:09:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was on mushrooms and, and beyond what I saw for, for this later. So the sun is setting and it's like cloud for, like you're way above. When you're way up in the mountains, the sun sets for like an hour. Cause you're like above, you can see the horizon. And I'm just like, on a fever dream, I'm writing all what I gotta do out that you'll see when you get it.

• 2:09:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought about my dad as a real person for the first time maybe ever. And not this guy I grew up with. And what like a teddy bear he is and how much he loves his grandkids and like. Yeah, and, and then I was with a bunch of people and we're in this outlook. All on shrooms. And then I went to the bathroom and they, they cut out a hole in the bathroom so you could see this view. And I just had a nice cry. I just had a good, nice cry.

• 2:09:56Speaker 02

  Why, were you and him estranged?

• 2:09:57Speaker 01

  Not estranged, but like, you know, he was the, not scoldy, but he was like, he ran it.

• 2:10:02Speaker 02

  Strict.

• 2:10:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then.

• 2:10:04Speaker 02

  So you didn't get the lovey part?

• 2:10:06Speaker 01

  It was still loving, but it, but it's just like.

• 2:10:08Speaker 02

  Not like with those grandkids?

• 2:10:09Speaker 01

  From what I've known him now, it's like, you spent way more time being this teddy bear than being this guy who was disappointed that I ate cheeseburgers. That was like, actually a minor part of my life.

• 2:10:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 2:10:19Speaker 01

  Way longer, it's just like, he's just like, so happy to be able to cook for me and like.

• 2:10:24Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 2:10:24Speaker 01

  Like, I'm gonna make you sauteed onions, you like, it's just like, oh, yeah. And then I was like, I'm gonna call him way more on this trip, cuz he did it. He went to America. He took a boat to America in like, the sixties.

• 2:10:37Speaker 02

  No way.

• 2:10:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, and had his own vagabond experience.

• 2:10:40Speaker 02

  Where was he from?

• 2:10:41Speaker 01

  Romania, and then they relocated to Israel after Romania lost a war badly.

• 2:10:46Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 2:10:47Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, spent time in a camp and then, and then got freed, and then, then they moved to Israel, and then when he got out of the army, he came here.

• 2:10:54Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:10:54Speaker 01

  Um, started a life, so I'm like, oh, you, I should, you know, I should include you in this more. He's proud of me, and I'm like, I should include you. So, yeah, that was a definitely a good.

• 2:11:04Speaker 02

  How old is he?

• 2:11:06Speaker 01

  I think he's almost ninety.

• 2:11:08Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 2:11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, or just turning.

• 2:11:10Speaker 02

  That's awesome. It is a weird thing, cuz like, your dad is your dad for like, sixteen years, seventeen years, you know?

• 2:11:16Speaker 01

  And then you're on your own.

• 2:11:16Speaker 02

  And then he's mostly just like, a cool guy, you know?

• 2:11:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, Greg Fitzsimmons told me this, which I think a lot of parents need to know. I'm like, how's your relationship with your kid now that he's like, grown up? It's like, he goes, it's great, I have made a friend. He is my friend, we're into the same sports teams, I just never can lose track of, I'm not the advice giver anymore. And if I give him advice, it's just like me giving anyone advice, and they're not asking. If he asks, I can offer, but I don't run his life anymore, so he's on his own, and I just always have to remember that. Cuz you've given so much advice for eighteen years.

• 2:11:50Speaker 02

  They have that memory, like, I remember my dad is the guy that was in charge of me, and my dad remembers me as like, the person who he's in charge of.

• 2:11:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:11:57Speaker 02

  When the reality is, we're just two.

• 2:11:59Speaker 01

  Let's hang out.

• 2:11:59Speaker 02

  Men that hang.

• 2:12:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, what kind of scotch do you like? I like this. Hey, Peaty, that's crazy, oh, I like smooth, oh, okay.

• 2:12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:12:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you have taste.

• 2:12:06Speaker 02

  Man, what a transition for the dad.

• 2:12:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, to do that, to not be the, the mom, I think is worse because you're really like caregiver.

• 2:12:14Speaker 02

  But you can kind of keep doing that though.

• 2:12:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I feel like momma.

• 2:12:17Speaker 01

  Mom's like, I'm not stopping that.

• 2:12:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, and we kind of want that.

• 2:12:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, you kind of want the nurturing all the way to the end.

• 2:12:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:12:23Speaker 02

  You know?

• 2:12:23Speaker 00

  But dad, you really kind of lose, oof.

• 2:12:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:12:28Speaker 00

  Kind of crazy to think about.

• 2:12:29Speaker 02

  Disciplinarian for all this time and then it just stops.

• 2:12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. Your mom, you still live in the same state as your mom was city.

• 2:12:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you get sick, she'd be like, please let me come over.

• 2:12:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:12:40Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 2:12:42Speaker 02

  Funny you brought that up.

• 2:12:44Speaker 01

  I'll bring you a teddy bear?

• 2:12:46Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:12:46Speaker 02

  Maybe that could be a good story.

• 2:12:47Speaker 01

  About blanky?

• 2:12:48Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 2:12:48Speaker 01

  Not blanky?

• 2:12:49Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:12:49Speaker 01

  Who brings you blanky then?

• 2:12:50Speaker 00

  My wife don't even take care of me when I'm sick, to be honest with you.

• 2:12:53Speaker 01

  I'm the same way. I'm like, get out of here. I don't need your fucking sympathy.

• 2:12:56Speaker 00

  I'm complaining like crazy and I just roll right through her empathy. She's got a short empathy battery. It's like turbo in one of the racing games. And she goes through that so fast. Yeah.

• 2:13:09Speaker 01

  Man's real good. Dude, I went to a game in Guatemala.

• 2:13:11Speaker 00

  What, what?

• 2:13:12Speaker 01

  Rivalry game.

• 2:13:13Speaker 00

  What type of game?

• 2:13:14Speaker 01

  Soccer. Is that this? Is that what you have up there?

• 2:13:18Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, we got some odds for the, for the World Cup. But anyway, go on.

• 2:13:21Speaker 01

  So, uh, uh, there's like a game. I'm like, sick, I'll go. There's, I need, I need local sports. I'm like, let me check it out. There's a Fluminense game in Brazil. I'm like, and like, just, it's fun. And, um, so I'm there and it's a rivalry game, which means no liquor. And I'm like, okay. And everyone parties outside.

• 2:13:36Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 2:13:37Speaker 01

  Everyone partying outside and then it starts pouring rain. So we're, we're, this is Chela. And so we all pour into these bodegas and everyone's drinking and stuff. And these guys are like, what, what are you for? What, why are you here? You're clearly whites. Guatemala, the shortest country in the world.

• 2:13:53Speaker 00

  Really?

• 2:13:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you have any handyman, they're all five, six and below. People go like, what happens to the mines? They disappeared. And it's like, no, we didn't. We just put on t-shirts.

• 2:14:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, they wear hoodies and drive.

• 2:14:04Speaker 01

  Which is tiny.

• 2:14:07Speaker 01

  So anyway, we start talking. I was like, what do I gotta know? They start teaching me chants, you know? Um, dale, dale, super chiva. They teach me all these fucking things and then like, and they're seven time cup winners of Guatemala and then it's like, and then like, alright, learn these chants. And then I'm like, there's no liquor in there. So we got drunk here. He goes, there's liquor in there. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, we sneak it in. I'm like, what, do you take a bottle? No. They take little baggies, pour, um, quetzal, quetzalcoatl, that's like their local like bathtub liquor, pour it in there and then like spin it up and tie it, put it in their balls.

• 2:14:40Speaker 02

  No way.

• 2:14:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I'm like, so you have a bag on you? And he goes, bro, I have 11.

• 2:14:47Speaker 01

  I'm like, what? He's under each arm, all around here. What if they touch your sack? It's a sack.

• 2:14:51Speaker 02

  It's a sack, dude. Sack is a sack.

• 2:14:53Speaker 01

  What are they gonna know? And then you pull it out and bite them and just suck it all out? And so that, yeah, bro.

• 2:15:00Speaker 02

  How good was that? You got fucked up, huh?

• 2:15:01Speaker 01

  Fucked up. And, and so, and so then, and so then I'm like, I'm like, alright, where am I sitting? I'm like, well, I'm not gonna, I researched where to sit. You don't sit, definitely don't sit in the away section.

• 2:15:11Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 2:15:12Speaker 01

  And I'm like, these home fans are like, you can't do that either, cause you know, I don't know enough. I don't have a chance. But they're teaching me chants. I'm like, no, I'm sitting kitty corner like right near you guys.

• 2:15:19Speaker 02

  You love the taste of dudes dicks, bro.

• 2:15:23Speaker 01

  It's so succulent. It's so sweet in a way that it's like tropical pineapple.

• 2:15:32Speaker 02

  The hooker was like, I can spit on it. I was like, nah, nah, nah.

• 2:15:36Speaker 01

  No, I'm wearing them back. I'm trying.

• 2:15:41Speaker 01

  He taught me how to do my own. So, so, so I'm like, I'm not, he goes, no, sit with us. And I'm like, why? He goes, no, I can't. But there's not seats, there's like sections.

• 2:15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:15:50Speaker 01

  And he goes, sit with us. I'm like, are you sure? He goes, trust me, I taught you the chants, you're fine. They had this giant, like 30 foot long flag and as they bring it in, like grab it, grab it, pretend you're like one of the holders. Sort of like I'm in there and then like I'm in the section. So I'm in there. I'm like, nice. This has got me and like three dudes in the hostel. And then all luscious dicks and then, um, and then some guy taps me on the shoulder. He goes, uh, in Spanish, I don't forgive him exactly, but he goes, you can't be here. And I was like, what? And he goes, and then he spoke to English. He goes, you cannot sit here. And I was like, oh, okay. And then that dude way up, he goes, he's cool, he's with us. And he goes, okay. And then dude fireworks, everything like right next to you just it's so fucking fun. They do sports so much better than we do.

• 2:16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:16:34Speaker 00

  Why is it, is it because the people?

• 2:16:36Speaker 01

  It's a rivalry game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a 5,000 seater too. It wasn't even, it wasn't even like those, yeah. It wasn't even like a crazy thing.

• 2:16:43Speaker 02

  That's so cool. I mean, you've heard like, uh, who was it? Jokic like talking, maybe it was Luca?

• 2:16:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:16:49Speaker 02

  Talking about like playing in America.

• 2:16:51Speaker 00

  I'm not nervous. I've played in this.

• 2:16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. Serbian basketball league. Have you ever seen the videos of that?

• 2:16:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, they have flares and shit indoors and drums and stuff. He's like, that's what I grew up with.

• 2:17:00Speaker 01

  The drums, somebody takes like a full marching band drum and they're beating it.

• 2:17:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:17:05Speaker 01

  They go for it.

• 2:17:05Speaker 02

  That was just like Ben Stiller on floor seats or something. Like that's like his biggest concern. It's so different. Like even for the baseball games, they were going crazy?

• 2:17:13Speaker 01

  Going crazy.

• 2:17:14Speaker 02

  Same vibe.

• 2:17:15Speaker 01

  Fatty drums, everybody knows the chants, everybody. I met a dude who fucking, I met a dude who, I was wearing, I took, I took only stuff that I could deal with not bringing home. I'm like, there's a chance this doesn't come back with.

• 2:17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 2:17:31Speaker 01

  So I took a Yankee giveaway nasty Nester shirt because he's not on the Yankees anymore. Just his mustache, nasty Nester, he rules, Nester Cortez. And I had it with me. Some guy sent me a beer and I'm like, okay. Then he sent me another one. I tried to send him, he's like, no, no, no. And then I went over to talk to him. I'm like, I don't want, I can afford a beer, but like, he's 16, he's with his mom. I didn't realize he wasn't of age.

• 2:17:52Speaker 01

  Because I love the Yankees, I'm a huge Yankees fan, I'm a huge Kansas City Chiefs fan. I saw your nasty Nester shirt. I think it's so cool. Brought me like two more beers and eventually I'm like, bro, this is yours. He goes, no fucking way. And I just made his day. And it's like, it's a Yankee giveaway. I'm like, it's from the stadium. It's what the fuck?

• 2:18:10Speaker 02

  You just wore shirtless the rest of the day?

• 2:18:12Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 2:18:14Speaker 01

  There's one rule I live by and it is Suns out, guns out.

• 2:18:18Speaker 02

  Fuck yeah.

• 2:18:19Speaker 01

  Sun was out.

• 2:18:21Speaker 02

  That's awesome. Do they play baseball, Mexican?

• 2:18:24Speaker 01

  Mexico, yeah, for sure. Dominican Republic is the wildest.

• 2:18:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:18:27Speaker 01

  DR is.

• 2:18:27Speaker 02

  Like even the way they play, the style of play? Like, do they do anything?

• 2:18:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you hit a homerun, they put this, this, um, elephant head on you, like a Ganesh head? And then they knight you? And then, you know, it was crazy. It's so fun.

• 2:18:42Speaker 02

  Wait, you're being serious?

• 2:18:42Speaker 01

  Guerreros rule.

• 2:18:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 2:18:44Speaker 01

  Guerreros are electric. What's the standings right now? Can you bet on the fucking Mexican League Baseball? No, I looked it up. You can? I tried, I looked it up.

• 2:18:51Speaker 02

  I mean, you can.

• 2:18:52Speaker 01

  It might be offseason now. Playoffs was in like, August. Close.

• 2:18:58Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so sick.

• 2:18:59Speaker 00

  Do you miss it at all?

• 2:19:00Speaker 01

  Yes, hella.

• 2:19:01Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 2:19:02Speaker 01

  Hella. Yeah, the freedom, the complete lack of responsibility. It, and I started, as I'm coming back, I started talking to Eric online about like, let's, let me do some of these edits. They make sure this is all run right and like, how do we plan this? Telling him my vision that I saw of how we're gonna like, uh, frame the show.

• 2:19:25Speaker 01

  But, but, I'll deal with it in a week. Nope. And now it's like, I, I just remember every time I get back, it's like, oh shit, but the, duh. I'm gonna go this way. Then somebody tells you about some place and you're like, fuck it. Yeah, fuck it. I'm going this way.

• 2:19:38Speaker 02

  That's so fucking dope.

• 2:19:39Speaker 01

  Except for meeting O'Neal in Machu Picchu and being in Ushuaia on December 19th.

• 2:19:44Speaker 00

  That was the only thing.

• 2:19:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:19:46Speaker 00

  And is there a part of you that, if you didn't have to, have to is the wrong word, but like, if you weren't creating, you would like to just do that as your life?

• 2:19:54Speaker 01

  There is. You know how you look back on your life and you're like, there's a sliding doors moment where like, you might not have done this if you took a job?

• 2:20:00Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:20:00Speaker 01

  You know, and something. And it was like, close, you were down to the last two of getting this job and you wouldn't have, if I got the job building the website at the Health Network? Or Discovery Channel, I wouldn't be a stand-up.

• 2:20:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:20:09Speaker 01

  And I was trying for it and I was close. Or make, there's, on this trip, there's a step or two where I'm just not coming home.

• 2:20:16Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:20:17Speaker 00

  I felt that when I was living in Barcelona.

• 2:20:19Speaker 01

  Just like, why am I going back?

• 2:20:20Speaker 00

  I was living like 10 euros a day, five euros spent to get into the nightclub that came with a beer. It was so much fun. I was with these guys who were kind of like-

• 2:20:28Speaker 01

  No tips, expected.

• 2:20:31Speaker 02

  One person tells you that fisherman story and you're like-

• 2:20:33Speaker 01

  Four pound?

• 2:20:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, why am I working so hard? I should just fish all day. What the hell am I doing?

• 2:20:38Speaker 00

  But yeah, I had that feeling.

• 2:20:39Speaker 01

  Maybe I just won't actually. See it as an option.

• 2:20:41Speaker 00

  I got scared. I was like, ooh, this is too comfortable. I gotta get back to real. This isn't reality.

• 2:20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. One good date and then you're stuck there.

• 2:20:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:20:50Speaker 01

  One good date and you don't leave.

• 2:20:51Speaker 00

  Isn't that crazy?

• 2:20:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is reality.

• 2:20:53Speaker 00

  It is.

• 2:20:54Speaker 01

  Why can't it be?

• 2:20:54Speaker 00

  And my friends there, that kind of was their life. Some like Russian kid who moved there and he was there kind of illegally and he was finding ways to make ends meet and like, we were living in some illegal dwelling and like fucking with the electric meter so we didn't have to pay electricity like, but the life was great. And I was like, I gotta, I gotta lock back in.

• 2:21:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:21:14Speaker 02

  There's a brave, there's a bravery in accepting the mundane though. I think, like being like, you know what?

• 2:21:19Speaker 01

  I mean, if you have to raise a kid and you're trying to man up about it, you wanna leave, you wanna be like rabid or something running to, but, but like,

• 2:21:27Speaker 01

  overall, no.

• 2:21:30Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 2:21:31Speaker 02

  I think like almost accepting mediocrity to be like, you know what? This is good enough. Like what I have is enough and I don't need to, I don't want, I don't need to chase this crazy dream. Whatever I have in front of me.

• 2:21:40Speaker 01

  Appreciating that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:21:42Speaker 00

  That's what I meant by mundane. Like if you're just living a life in some random town in South America and going, this is awesome.

• 2:21:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:21:48Speaker 00

  And uh,

• 2:21:48Speaker 01

  I am now appreciating the little things here. Brushing my teeth with sink water is like a joy that I know I'll lose, but I, every time like, nope. This is crazy what I'm doing right now.

• 2:21:58Speaker 00

  It's weird how you're like,

• 2:21:59Speaker 01

  Flushing toilet paper instead of throwing it away where someone else can smell it.

• 2:22:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. The brain turns back on when you come back to the first world.

• 2:22:07Speaker 01

  I'm seeing that, I'm still seeing this as an outsider. So I'm starting to see what people are doing. The, the amount, everyone here is consumed with politics.

• 2:22:15Speaker 00

  Oh dude.

• 2:22:17Speaker 01

  Is kinda wild. I forgot about it. And you come back, the mothership green room. I'm like, guys, there's sports going on.

• 2:22:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22:23Speaker 01

  Say something.

• 2:22:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22:24Speaker 01

  There's, there's, tell me about a chick that was hot. Something dude.

• 2:22:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22:29Speaker 01

  Did you ever see someone's real palsy fall? Mention that. These are fun moments. Let's connect.

• 2:22:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, it just, it just becomes like part of culture.

• 2:22:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it's like, do you guys even care about this for real? Like for real, for real? Or you're expected to care?

• 2:22:44Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't know if it's expected to care.

• 2:22:47Speaker 01

  It's all around.

• 2:22:47Speaker 00

  I just think it's all encompassing.

• 2:22:49Speaker 01

  So they're like, everyone's talking about this, I guess like, I guess. If you're not into football and the Super Bowl is happening, you're gonna sort of be into it.

• 2:22:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22:57Speaker 01

  I don't care about the Oscar. I hate actors, but when the Oscars comes up, it's in my purview.

• 2:23:01Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:23:01Speaker 01

  So I guess that's what happens here.

• 2:23:03Speaker 00

  It's inescapable if you're spending six hours on your phone.

• 2:23:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:23:06Speaker 00

  Which is what most people are doing.

• 2:23:07Speaker 02

  And they pull the move of if you're not political, you're actually privileged, like you're actually.

• 2:23:11Speaker 00

  Privilege.

• 2:23:12Speaker 02

  Which I get, I understand the sentiment.

• 2:23:14Speaker 00

  It's a nice privilege.

• 2:23:15Speaker 02

  I get it, but it's also like.

• 2:23:17Speaker 01

  But also, you know who else is not political? Some fucking struggling Dominican in the Bronx. You know, who's like, I don't have, I don't have time for that. I'm trying to pay my rent.

• 2:23:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:23:25Speaker 01

  So it's like, no, I actually think it's an act of revolution to be like, I'm not caring about this. Let me ask you how your, you know, your kid is or your, you know, something, let's talk in real life, one on one. Let's actually connect my friends. That's the way to fight back. Let's go see a movie, man. Tell me something good. Instead of like, find out what some politician did in some place that you have, no, it'll affect you, but you can't change. I don't know. Let's hang out.

• 2:23:51Speaker 00

  I agree with you.

• 2:23:52Speaker 01

  Seven new bagel place in town.

• 2:23:56Speaker 00

  Couple weird questions. Oh, did your body have to get used to the food? Cause like the water, different type of cuisine.

• 2:24:02Speaker 01

  I brought back with me a diarrhea from Mexican, from Brazilian street meat at Carnival that stayed with me for two weeks and I just took a solid log. I just took one.

• 2:24:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, cause that's rough. Like what do you do with the water and shit like?

• 2:24:20Speaker 01

  You can't, I got food poisoning four times.

• 2:24:23Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 2:24:24Speaker 01

  Bobby Kelly said this, it's funny, goes, it is safer, it is more dangerous to brush your teeth with tap water there than it is to brush your teeth here with toilet water.

• 2:24:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:24:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's probably true.

• 2:24:37Speaker 01

  That's how crazy we live. We have drinkable toilet water.

• 2:24:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, I used to joke about that, about like, most countries don't have water and I take a shit in drinking water every single day. It is wild, the things you take in.

• 2:24:50Speaker 01

  Like our first world, we were like, I'm not, where you flush before you shit. We're like, I'm not shitting on pissy water.

• 2:25:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, so what was the question?

• 2:25:04Speaker 02

  No, it was just about, did your body get used to?

• 2:25:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, my knees got fucked from carrying around 75 pounds on me all the time. My knees were both like fucked and they're now recovering. But it was like running with this backpack and it was like not great for you.

• 2:25:17Speaker 00

  How many pairs of pants, like how many pairs of sneakers, like what is the, what is the bring?

• 2:25:22Speaker 01

  Pack's super light.

• 2:25:23Speaker 00

  What is super light?

• 2:25:24Speaker 01

  One backpack, one Osprey 55 liter with a 15 extra zip off pouch.

• 2:25:31Speaker 01

  Pack, it has to be able to overhead in case.

• 2:25:34Speaker 00

  But give me, give me the, the quantity of.

• 2:25:36Speaker 01

  Pair of hiking pants, a pair of jeans. Jeans also, most people like, don't bring jeans, that's too heavy.

• 2:25:41Speaker 00

  But?

• 2:25:41Speaker 01

  But I like jeans, I wear jeans, even when it's hot, I wear jeans.

• 2:25:46Speaker 01

  Pair of jeans, pair of hiking pants.

• 2:25:47Speaker 00

  Shoes?

• 2:25:49Speaker 01

  They have to be usable for two things. So hiking shoes, they're dark enough color that I could wear if I went to a decent restaurant.

• 2:25:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:25:56Speaker 01

  Hiking boots, zero chance.

• 2:25:58Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:25:58Speaker 01

  Way too big.

• 2:25:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, take half.

• 2:26:00Speaker 01

  When you go to Machu Picchu, anything you need to rent in Cusco for that, you could show up with shorts and nothing else and you could rent it.

• 2:26:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:26:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, so rented boots, I rented every, rain gear.

• 2:26:11Speaker 01

  Poncho, one of those little ones for the rain.

• 2:26:14Speaker 00

  Ah, yeah.

• 2:26:15Speaker 01

  Your pills, zithromycin.

• 2:26:19Speaker 00

  So you'll take eight months of pills?

• 2:26:22Speaker 01

  No, but, but.

• 2:26:23Speaker 02

  Enough Z packs.

• 2:26:24Speaker 01

  I hate to say this, but the healthcare system here is pale in comparison to a lot.

• 2:26:30Speaker 00

  You can just walk into the pharmacy, get whatever the fuck you want.

• 2:26:32Speaker 01

  I need zithromycin 500 milligram, three of them, like, okay.

• 2:26:35Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 2:26:36Speaker 01

  What, no one's ODing on this.

• 2:26:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:26:38Speaker 01

  You're naming it, you definitely want that. I had to get my eye treated, I got pink eye from some fucking hostel in Peru. And, um, and I went into a pharmacist and I'm like, hey, he goes, is it itchy or is it, um, is it, um? Pain, is it wet or is it dry? And I told him, he's like, all right, um, all right, take these drops, uh, three times a day for five days, should be clear. It was, there's no, have to go to a doctor who then has to tell you to go to another doctor, who then has to tell you to go to a pharmacist. Even with insurance, you're still paying more and I paid for the same chemicals there.

• 2:27:10Speaker 02

  How annoying, you go to a doctor, they go, yeah, you pick it up over there.

• 2:27:12Speaker 01

  It's pretty annoying.

• 2:27:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:27:14Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 2:27:15Speaker 01

  So I had to get a cortisone shot in my knee. I had surgery and it was like wearing off from all the stress. In Brazil, I went to a doctor in Salvador and he was like, okay, let's do it. I had to wait all day.

• 2:27:24Speaker 00

  But still.

• 2:27:25Speaker 02

  But you got it.

• 2:27:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then a day later, I'm like, oh, I'm fine again.

• 2:27:28Speaker 00

  And you weren't in a rush?

• 2:27:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:27:29Speaker 02

  How'd you get pink eye, do you know?

• 2:27:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:27:31Speaker 02

  Do you know how you got pink eye?

• 2:27:32Speaker 01

  I don't always wash these sheets right, these hostels. Sometimes you're just like, oh, I'm just gonna make this bed.

• 2:27:40Speaker 01

  They nicknamed girls hostels now.

• 2:27:44Speaker 01

  I was in East Timor a long time ago when I went to Southeast Asia and I was in Dili, the capital, and I picked a zit. And then I didn't realize, but it was bleeding. Not heavily, but a little bit. I laid on the pillow, I was like, ah shit, and there's this little piece of blood, that big. And then I went on this like motorcycle moped ride around the country for about a week and came back to that hostel and was like, oh, I got my bed again. And that bucket pit blood is right there on it still. And I'm like, you know, guys.

• 2:28:11Speaker 01

  Once you get bedbugs, the word's out, you're done as a business.

• 2:28:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:28:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta really search like reviews for bedbugs. If you see any like, can't stay here, I cannot stay here, I can't risk throwing away all my stuff. So if you buy any shirt, if you bought like a, like a, you know, a Shella

• 2:28:27Speaker 01

  jersey, I got a Chuck E. T-shirt.

• 2:28:29Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 2:28:30Speaker 01

  I had a hoodie that I brought that I don't need from Chilco Charlie's, they gave me an anchorage. And I was like, I have no, I didn't play there, so I have no emotional connections. It was a black hood. And I ended up, I lost it and something bad happened and I lost it. Got blood all over it. It was done. And then, um.

• 2:28:47Speaker 00

  What bad?

• 2:28:48Speaker 01

  There's like, we, uh, me and O'Neal found a, we found a kid. Yeah, whatever.

• 2:28:55Speaker 00

  What?

• 2:28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was stressful.

• 2:29:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, just some kid was hurt and we had a.

• 2:29:08Speaker 00

  Is he okay?

• 2:29:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, he survived.

• 2:29:10Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, say that part of the fucking story, right? Jesus.

• 2:29:12Speaker 02

  Is this at Machu Picchu?

• 2:29:14Speaker 01

  No, this is near Rainbow Mountain, near Peru, near, uh, Cusco, but.

• 2:29:17Speaker 02

  He got in an accident?

• 2:29:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, him and his sister.

• 2:29:20Speaker 00

  Is she okay?

• 2:29:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're both, they're both fine.

• 2:29:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:29:22Speaker 02

  Life through ending injuries?

• 2:29:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:29:25Speaker 02

  And you guys were the first ones on the scene?

• 2:29:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:29:27Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 2:29:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:29:29Speaker 02

  And you brought them?

• 2:29:29Speaker 01

  I got pretty fucked up by it, to be honest.

• 2:29:31Speaker 02

  You brought them to a place?

• 2:29:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, we brought them to a hospital. We were in the middle of nowhere, these are villager kids.

• 2:29:36Mark Gagnon?

  The hell.

• 2:29:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:29:37Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, did you have like any run ins with like cartel and shit like that?

• 2:29:40Speaker 01

  Medellin, one.

• 2:29:41Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, outside of that, yeah.

• 2:29:42Speaker 01

  But no, no, no.

• 2:29:43Mark Gagnon?

  No?

• 2:29:44Speaker 01

  Um, anyway. The sweatshirt's gone.

• 2:29:50Speaker 01

  So then it's like, sick, I get to get a new, I get to get a new, uh, look at the positive, I get to get a new, um, something from local that I'll have as a souvenir in a memory of a place.

• 2:29:58Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 2:29:59Speaker 01

  Um.

• 2:29:59Mark Gagnon?

  That is a good way to look at it.

• 2:30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:30:01Mark Gagnon?

  It's nice. And some kid got a new sweatshirt.

• 2:30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then at some point when I left the Andy's, I was like, I don't need warm weather stuff anymore. And I'm chucking this shit, cause I've been carrying around for forever.

• 2:30:10Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah. Any experiences with like, uh, witches, uh, spiritual stuff?

• 2:30:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just told the story on, on Tom's interview about my trip. But yeah, I found a witch in, in Abruja in Peru, in Lima. I mean, I just told this on U B tripping.

• 2:30:29Mark Gagnon?

  Did she believe you believed it? No, sorry, did she, did you believe she believed it?

• 2:30:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:30:35Mark Gagnon?

  Did you believe it?

• 2:30:36Speaker 01

  Dude, she had.

• 2:30:39Speaker 01

  So, yeah, we all went to the witch market in Lima, in a place, do not go there.

• 2:30:44Mark Gagnon?

  Why?

• 2:30:45Speaker 01

  It is dangerous.

• 2:30:46Mark Gagnon?

  In what way?

• 2:30:47Speaker 01

  It, outside of the, there's a witch market area of a main market, but just outside that market, it is locals like, I am not dropping off a block away.

• 2:30:55Mark Gagnon?

  They'll rob you?

• 2:30:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 2:30:57Mark Gagnon?

  Why'd you go?

• 2:30:58Speaker 01

  I wanted to see the witch market. I, I, listen, I travel a lot, I'm not a good traveler.

• 2:31:04Speaker 01

  I have some, some notes here, they're like, I have good advice, I'm not good, I was in Athens playing, and, um, at the end of my show, I'm like, I'm gonna walk home, it's so nice out, you know? And, um, and the guy's like, no, I'll, I'll, I'll drive you home, and I was like, nah, it's, it's nice, it's seventy degrees out, I'm in Athens, I wanted to see it.

• 2:31:19Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 2:31:20Speaker 01

  And he goes, no, dude, I'll drive you home, and I was like, bro, I travel a lot, I'm, I'm, I'll be fine. He goes, well, then you would know you're gonna walk right through heroin alley.

• 2:31:28Mark Gagnon?

  Hmm.

• 2:31:28Speaker 01

  And they will rob you, I'm like, oh, no, I didn't. He goes, I'll drive you further away if you wanna walk, they're like, no, I can't let you walk through there. Um, I'm like, fair.

• 2:31:37Mark Gagnon?

  And what is a witch market?

• 2:31:39Speaker 01

  So they have like fresh produce area, they have, they have like shoes area, all the, all the goods are in one place. All pants, all indigenous garb, all like plumbing equipment. So it's like 20 stores in a row. And then in this one, certain ones have like something unique to just there.

• 2:31:57Mark Gagnon?

  So just a bunch of witches?

• 2:31:58Speaker 01

  It's all this like crazy fruit you've never heard of in Brazil, and it's all these witches.

• 2:32:03Speaker 00

  And they're at desks?

• 2:32:05Speaker 01

  Some are fakers, according to them. They're like, oh, she's real, he's real, that, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't listen to her.

• 2:32:11Speaker 00

  And how are they dressed?

• 2:32:12Speaker 01

  Indigenous garb, not, not like hats, but just like some Bolivians. Oh, tons of spells, tons of brews and like, and like ground up frog.

• 2:32:24Speaker 00

  What'd you ask for?

• 2:32:25Speaker 01

  I didn't ask for any, I asked for to get my cocoa leaves read.

• 2:32:28Speaker 00

  And?

• 2:32:29Speaker 01

  Cause I was like, fun. I asked about this show, the end. So they go, she goes, so, so I'm there with a few people from the hostel. I hooked up with one of them and they're getting their tarot card read. I'm cutting, once a month I had to do my ads for my podcast. And then do all my, hey, the, my Instagram stories I sent off to one person at YMH would forward to everybody. I go, check out, you know, Tom Rhodes on my podcast. Okay. Check out this guy on my podcast. I, I pre-recorded a hundred.

• 2:32:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:32:56Speaker 01

  So I had a year and plus of podcasts that would just come out, but I'm gone. Yeah, I did it right.

• 2:33:03Speaker 01

  They're off getting their tarot read. This guy stops in the middle and looked at one of the chicks and was like, there's a guy that you've had sex with who is cursed. And these two chicks are getting their tarot read. He stops in the middle of it and talks about an unrelated person who he's never met. I was off on my own thing, way away. I didn't drop them off at the door. They went and found this guy. He's cursed and he needs a, a coui negro treatment, cleansing.

• 2:33:33Mark Gagnon?

  A cool what?

• 2:33:34Speaker 01

  A black innie pig.

• 2:33:39Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, I'm helping you, bro.

• 2:33:41Speaker 01

  What? You're like, yeah. I thought someone said it.

• 2:33:45Speaker 01

  Um, and they told me later, they're like, he's not, and then they went back to the tarot and he went back, goes, I, I, hey, I'm not joking. You, you've been connected somehow. Is there a guy in your life? And she's like, I mean, I guess recently, yeah. Yeah, he's got a curse on him. I could feel it on you. Not the other chick, just the one chick.

• 2:34:03Speaker 01

  And so, and then he was like, alright, here's your fortune, whatever. And they told me that, I'm like, that's, that's crazy. We're in a different whole area. I mean, these are like, blocks wide. And like, it's funny, like, you know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get my coca leaves read. We passed one, I was like, hey, I wanna do coca, they wanna go tarot? I'm like, nah, coca leaves. And she's doing, it's fun, it's a nickel, you know? More, but like, not much. And she's throwing down coca leaves, she goes, do you have any questions that you wanna ask? I didn't know how it worked, and I was like, yeah, I was like, I have a project coming. How's it gonna go? She goes, alright, it's, um, it's not like you, it's, it's not gonna go exactly like you planned, but it will be successful. Who knows what the fuck that means?

• 2:34:49Speaker 01

  Successful is lots of different things, different people, so who knows? I was like, okay, interesting, and then she's like, okay, and then, um,

• 2:34:59Speaker 01

  and then you, um, you, hey, I'm sorry, you got a real bad curse on you.

• 2:35:04Mark Gagnon?

  Holy shit!

• 2:35:07Speaker 01

  And I was like-

• 2:35:08Mark Gagnon?

  And this is a different person?

• 2:35:09Speaker 01

  A hundred percent different person, a Bolivian witch.

• 2:35:11Mark Gagnon?

  You don't think they're like, talking amongst-

• 2:35:13Speaker 01

  Listen, all this is possible.

• 2:35:14Mark Gagnon?

  Okay.

• 2:35:15Speaker 01

  But like, that one didn't know, why not try to cheat the girls? Why not get the upsell on them?

• 2:35:21Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 2:35:23Speaker 01

  And I was like, what? She goes, it's a, I can feel it, man, it's a bad curse. And then she's like, okay, she goes, you need a black Kui treatment, you need a Kui Negro treatment. Cleansing.

• 2:35:35Speaker 01

  I was like, well, let me think about it, and this was like, seven nickels, so I'm like, alright, I don't know. Then went outside, got something to eat, came, oh, got robbery attempt on the way back. Some old lady stopped in front of me, like, oh, and everyone's pushing, and I'm like, so crowded. And then, somebody later was like, hey, check your back wall, like, they, that was a, they're in, they're a team.

• 2:35:51Mark Gagnon?

  Hmm.

• 2:35:52Speaker 01

  I didn't have anything in my back pocket, so I'm like, oh, cool.

• 2:35:57Speaker 01

  One of the chicks, like, my necklace is gone.

• 2:35:59Mark Gagnon?

  Oh, wow.

• 2:36:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I was like, I'm gonna do it, it's fun. Even if it's nothing, I'm, it's still fun.

• 2:36:06Mark Gagnon?

  Absolutely.

• 2:36:07Speaker 01

  You know? I mean, you'll get your fortune teller read here, if it's like, it's like, I'm drunk, let's do it.

• 2:36:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so she starts, I have to hold this fucking-

• 2:36:18Speaker 01

  Black guinea pig in my shirt, in my um, medians soccer team jersey, knockoff shirt. It's clawing at me. She's got like a swath over me.

• 2:36:30Speaker 00

  What the fuck?

• 2:36:30Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, I could see, I got some pictures like I could show you. It's just me with this thing and it's like clawing. She goes, you gotta pet it. It's actually still an animal. So calm it down. Couple of hours. She's like, you gotta let it soak up the, the whatever. And then afterwards, she was like, okay, let's take it out. And then she like, says all these incantations. What's your name? And I was like, Ari Shaffir. She goes, undo your hands. I'm like, okay. She takes me to the back. I'm undoing my hands. And then she's like, what's your father's name? And she says her, my name, my last name over and over again. And then she like hits me with these, with these leaves. It's like, these like little flowers. She puts like all this water on it and slapping with it. She said the word, I just spent time in Portugal. My Spanish was gone. She said, take it, which I thought she meant. Toma.

• 2:37:14Speaker 00

  Porque lo.

• 2:37:17Speaker 00

  Toma.

• 2:37:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think toma. But I thought she meant, keep this. But she meant, take the pain.

• 2:37:22Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:37:22Speaker 01

  Mmm.

• 2:37:23Speaker 00

  Dura.

• 2:37:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:37:25Speaker 01

  Also, she's Bolivian, so it's a different accent from Peru. You get used to each accent. She'll like, forget it.

• 2:37:31Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:37:32Speaker 01

  You will not understand them.

• 2:37:33Speaker 00

  Huevo.

• 2:37:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, what? And then you get to like, and then you get to Argentina, Uruguay, and they put CHs.

• 2:37:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:37:39Speaker 01

  It's not Yerba, it's Chirba. Como se llama?

• 2:37:42Speaker 00

  Chirba.

• 2:37:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, what? And they just, yeah. So, yeah, she sort of slapped me. She takes these swords, goes like this on my back and my, and my side and my stomach.

• 2:37:50Speaker 00

  With swords?

• 2:37:51Speaker 01

  Two like swords like this long. It just goes like, like turn around.

• 2:37:55Speaker 00

  But like cutting the skin?

• 2:37:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was scared. No, just like right next to me. And then, and then taps me with this shit. And she's like, okay, no meat today, today. Um, you, oh, so then she takes this coi, this guinea pig, and it's like, go whatever. And she's rubbing it on me. And then, and then it's like, whatever. And then it's just like, it just died.

• 2:38:14Speaker 00

  The guinea pig died?

• 2:38:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:38:17Speaker 02

  Like she killed it or it just stopped?

• 2:38:20Speaker 01

  Maybe she squeezed it. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it's, listen, I don't know. I don't know.

• 2:38:26Speaker 02

  Did you see it die?

• 2:38:27Speaker 01

  She goes, if it's an okay curse, it'll live. Um, either way, you're getting the treatment. And if it's a major curse, it ain't, it ain't surviving.

• 2:38:34Speaker 02

  Gonna make it.

• 2:38:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:38:35Speaker 02

  So you sacrifice a guinea pig for yourself?

• 2:38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, it takes the curse. And then she goes, hey, that's not enough. You gotta do another one. She goes, this is a worse curse than I thought. You gotta do it. I'm like, okay. She goes, just one plus you're gonna eat a frog treatment at the same time and we'll read your egg. And she cracked this egg in water and she sees all these tendrils. And she goes, these are people who have evil eyes on you.

• 2:38:56Speaker 02

  Oh, I see.

• 2:38:56Speaker 01

  This is loved ones. It's fun. It's fun either way.

• 2:38:59Speaker 02

  The healthcare is good there. That's amazing. This is wild. They're getting this all done right now?

• 2:39:03Speaker 01

  So I was like, hey, uh, she goes, no meat, no coffee for a day. Come back tomorrow. I was like, hey, I got reservations at, this is my one splurge. At a really nice restaurant in Lima tomorrow. She goes, okay, come back the next day then. But then that morning, no meat, whatever. But definitely no meat today. Went back again.

• 2:39:23Speaker 02

  Did you do no meat?

• 2:39:25Speaker 01

  The next day she goes, you can do it, but the day after, don't meet that day. Yeah, I don't fuck with it. When I was talking ayahuasca, it was same shit. They were like, hey, eight more days, no meat. Do not fuck with this. No sex. I forgot about masturbation. I don't remember what they said. But like, no sex, no meat, no booze. And they go, don't fuck with it. I was like, can't have a cigar, can I? And they're like, why wouldn't you be able to have a cigar? Like, it's a sister drug. I'm like, huh, I don't.

• 2:39:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, they use that in ayahuasca ceremonies. They'll blow it in your face.

• 2:39:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. They take it, they squeeze it. This was liquid, whatever. And they go, snort it. And you're like, whoa.

• 2:39:55Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:39:56Speaker 01

  You were up. Yeah, but they said, they said, like, we've seen people, like, a couple here. And they're like, all right, six days later, like, we're good now. Let's have sex. And they go, they start fighting. They broke up like two months later.

• 2:40:06Speaker 02

  Okay, so tell me, you go back?

• 2:40:08Speaker 01

  Go back. Way bigger kui. Guinea pig.

• 2:40:13Speaker 01

  Also negro. You know what that word is?

• 2:40:17Speaker 01

  That is the right word. Um, that way calmer, way bigger, held it again for a few hours and a frog that she put in a plastic bag that suffocated instantly. She wasn't pretending that took a curse. You gotta hold that next to you. Same thing. You gotta wide.

• 2:40:34Speaker 01

  Okay, can I stand up? Still have me? Okay. Does the same shit again. All the, uh, all the stuff, all the shakers, you know, the beads in a, in a thing. And then she's taking it and rubbing it on me and it's like squealing, whatever. And, and it's like just normal, like regular. Gets to my foot. Oh, so I asked her about the curse. And she goes, I was like, who cursed me? She goes, I don't think it was meant for you. To be honest, I think you stepped in someone else's curse. It was meant for someone else and you got in the way. I don't know, you pissed a lot of people off at one time, I think, uh... Buddy, I asked. I said, was this curse somewhere around January?

• 2:41:13Speaker 01

  I go, I a hundred percent I know when this curse came. Did it come from Southern California? A hundred percent I knew when this came, yeah. I was like, was it in the Southern California area right around January of 2019? And she goes, she goes, no, no, no, it was not. I'm like, are you sure? Cause I know I had a lot of...

• 2:41:30Speaker 01

  I was like, I know when this came. She goes, no, it wasn't meant for you. Wow. Bro, I asked her specifically that.

• 2:41:37Speaker 02

  Was it a woman you hooked up with or something? Is that the idea?

• 2:41:40Speaker 01

  She, it wasn't meant for me. It wasn't somebody put it on me. It was like, meant for me. She goes, you stepped in it. Yeah. But like, like literally stepped in it? So I don't understand. There's like language barriers and it's colloquial. Baby in this country can mean cute girl. And in, in, in Israel, it doesn't mean...

• 2:41:58Speaker 02

  So wrong.

• 2:41:59Speaker 01

  It's so wrong.

• 2:42:01Speaker 02

  Wait, what does it mean in Israel?

• 2:42:03Speaker 01

  It means a child. They don't have the, the, hey baby. You say that, they're like, what are you talking about? You say pass the chicken, they go, muk muk muk muk. Like, it, it's foul, you don't say chicken.

• 2:42:12Speaker 02

  It's like poultry.

• 2:42:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, poultry. So anyway, so she's rubbing it on me and when it gets to my left leg, it starts going crazy. And she goes, oh yeah, you stepped in it. That's where you got it on your foot. And I was like, really? She goes, yeah, I mean, it's going nuts. Again, I don't know, I don't know, but it was interesting. And then she goes up, it kind of stops, she goes, oh yeah. And then she gets to the other leg and it goes, ah, dead. That's where you stepped in it, your right leg. Your curse is crazy.

• 2:42:42Speaker 02

  And then, are you cured of it?

• 2:42:44Speaker 01

  She goes, you're cured. I have some charms I want you to keep with you for about a year. Uh, I'm gonna take a picture of you, I'm gonna put it on my, on my, I mean, I talked to her for a while with Bolivia, like, we were in Machu Picchu. She goes, yeah, man, we, we had to cross over to there. And, um... Talk, I'm two, two hours, three hours, I'm like two different times I'm talking. You don't have to like chant or anything, so. Yeah, she goes, it was there, stepped on on your right foot. And then um, she goes, I'm gonna take a picture, I'm gonna put it on my, on my um, table, I'm gonna pray for you, but, but you're good, you're good, no meat tonight, no coffee. All I was gonna, no coffee, no cigarettes, um, tomorrow you're fine. So she goes, you're good. She did say, this is interesting, maybe you'll agree with this.

• 2:43:25Speaker 01

  She goes, it's not like this curse has completely stopped you, but you're not as far along as you should be. You're a little bit behind, and that's the, it's the curse. It's whole, it's like, it's like where they used to grab Curry's jersey early on before he got the calls. And it's like, it just made him a little bit slower.

• 2:43:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:43:45Speaker 01

  I was like, yeah, I've thought that sometimes.

• 2:43:49Speaker 01

  Now in Nicaragua, they say, yeah, why don't you have more followers?

• 2:43:54Speaker 01

  In Peru, they're like, we know why.

• 2:43:57Speaker 02

  What the hell?

• 2:43:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, so.

• 2:43:59Speaker 02

  What happened? Like either your curse.

• 2:44:01Speaker 01

  I checked in with her.

• 2:44:02Speaker 02

  The guinea pig got it?

• 2:44:03Speaker 01

  I checked in with her, it wasn't like you gotta come back in. She goes, you're good now. She wasn't, she didn't continue to upsell me.

• 2:44:10Speaker 02

  And you spent a total of what, like ten bucks?

• 2:44:12Speaker 01

  No, probably forty or fifty, I mean, the cooey itself, if you eat a cooey, it's like thirty dollars.

• 2:44:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:44:18Speaker 01

  It's not a nothing thing, so, but they didn't prepare it, but like.

• 2:44:23Speaker 02

  But you went through a couple?

• 2:44:25Speaker 01

  Went through a couple.

• 2:44:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, and you can't eat them.

• 2:44:27Speaker 01

  So the second, okay, so the second one, she takes a razor blade. Oh my god. She takes a razor blade, she cut, she like pinches the skin, kinda like this, you know? And she cuts, not the flesh, just the skin.

• 2:44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:44:36Speaker 01

  Pulls it apart, and so she's exposing the flesh.

• 2:44:40Speaker 02

  Of you?

• 2:44:41Speaker 01

  Of the cooey.

• 2:44:41Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 2:44:42Speaker 01

  And then this thing goes

• 2:44:45Speaker 01

  like that, just pops out of it, just goes on its own of, of whatever.

• 2:44:49Speaker 02

  This while it's still alive or after?

• 2:44:51Speaker 01

  Dead.

• 2:44:51Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 2:44:52Speaker 01

  Not the dick, I know what you're thinking. Just in the middle of its belly, she goes, it's there, that's, that's the curse, trying to get out now.

• 2:45:00Speaker 01

  And I'm like, what do you do with the, what do you do with the cooey? And she goes, "They're garbage." It's just nothing is done. It's not like, we don't have to bury or anything. I love it, like, what do you mean? What are you doing?

• 2:45:12Speaker 02

  No, it wasn't a magic trick.

• 2:45:14Speaker 00

  Probably, but I don't know.

• 2:45:15Speaker 02

  But like, you've seen magic before, did it feel like that? Was there a little part where it was like?

• 2:45:19Mark Gagnon?

  I was looking for holes in the games.

• 2:45:21Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:45:21Speaker 00

  Mark believes in demons, bro.

• 2:45:23Mark Gagnon?

  I believe this. So do you. So do all you. I believe it too. I'm like, did the first one, the first one didn't even see me. I was long away. Why not upsell the girls?

• 2:45:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:45:33Mark Gagnon?

  You're gonna upsell a guy who's not maybe even here?

• 2:45:35Speaker 00

  Did you communicate it to the girls? Like, did you guys have that conversation?

• 2:45:40Mark Gagnon?

  They told me, but it wasn't near the other Bruja.

• 2:45:42Speaker 00

  No, no, I'm saying at any point in time, did you have this conversation where the girl goes, "Yeah, she told me I was that somebody was cursed." And then you go, "I was just told I have a curse."

• 2:45:51Speaker 01

  They told me that first. I was like, that's crazy. And then?

• 2:45:54Speaker 00

  Then you went.

• 2:45:55Speaker 01

  Then I went to another one, far away.

• 2:45:57Speaker 00

  Got it. Wow.

• 2:46:00Speaker 01

  What was your question? I deal with witches. Yeah. Good lead.

• 2:46:03Speaker 00

  Fuck. This is crazy. This is crazy. It's so much more fun to believe it.

• 2:46:09Mark Gagnon?

  It's so much more fun.

• 2:46:10Speaker 00

  It's more fun to believe it.

• 2:46:12Speaker 01

  Like a great storyteller. If that really happens, like, stop asking some questions.

• 2:46:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, why are you asking the dov shit?

• 2:46:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're having a good time.

• 2:46:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:46:18Speaker 01

  It doesn't matter. We're not basing our lives on it.

• 2:46:20Speaker 00

  But now Mark is gonna be.

• 2:46:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 2:46:21Speaker 00

  No intent of stewing on this.

• 2:46:23Speaker 02

  But how?

• 2:46:24Speaker 01

  Go to the witch market. But I'm telling you, there was no cab driver that would let me off more than directly at an entrance to the witch, to the market itself. You gotta get in there.

• 2:46:33Speaker 02

  Moses goes to Ramses and then, you know, they have their sorcerers that make the staff.

• 2:46:39Speaker 01

  Everyone's got their sorcerers.

• 2:46:39Speaker 02

  Into a snake.

• 2:46:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. That was real magic, just different magic.

• 2:46:44Speaker 02

  But the people, the people were like, oh, they were doing like a magic trick where like they had a snake that they were able to like hypnotize to be stiff. And then they turn into a snake.

• 2:46:50Speaker 01

  All right, maybe, I don't know. I know there's more to the world than I know.

• 2:46:54Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:46:55Speaker 00

  Do you feel uncursed?

• 2:46:57Speaker 01

  Five. I don't know. But I'll tell you, something I was never quite able to accomplish is getting my storyteller going again. Since I had the curse, I think. And now?

• 2:47:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:47:08Mark Gagnon?

  April 19.

• 2:47:10Speaker 00

  April 16th?

• 2:47:11Mark Gagnon?

  April 16th. But you lose that pre-sale money if you don't get it after the 15th.

• 2:47:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, and if you don't get it, you might be cursed.

• 2:47:20Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, I had, but dude, I had a blast.

• 2:47:21Speaker 00

  Do you have the charms on you?

• 2:47:23Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, they're in my other pants. I don't not take them around a year.

• 2:47:26Speaker 00

  Can we see what they look like?

• 2:47:27Mark Gagnon?

  They're just little things. She puts, she puts stuff on them. Yeah, I can go get them.

• 2:47:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, can you get them real bad?

• 2:47:31Mark Gagnon?

  What do we got with cows? What are we doing with cows right now?

• 2:47:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, we got the World Cup. I mean, France is gonna take it.

• 2:47:37Mark Gagnon?

  Come on!

• 2:47:38Speaker 02

  You already know, this is the only sport event I care about. It's the only thing that actually gets me.

• 2:47:42Mark Gagnon?

  Wait, but do they still got the player that fucks the training?

• 2:47:44Speaker 02

  Okay, that's not, that's...

• 2:47:46Mark Gagnon?

  If he's on the team, you guys got it.

• 2:47:49Speaker 02

  It sounds like you're saying it in a libelous or slanderous way.

• 2:47:51Mark Gagnon?

  No, no, no, I fuck with that guy. That's my favorite player.

• 2:47:54Speaker 02

  Umbo?

• 2:47:54Mark Gagnon?

  Not because, yeah, Umbo.

• 2:47:55Speaker 02

  Umbo?

• 2:47:56Mark Gagnon?

  Umbo?

• 2:47:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, Umbo is good.

• 2:47:58Speaker 00

  Who do we got? Oh, they're saying Spain is the best chance of winning?

• 2:48:01Mark Gagnon?

  Yes! What the fuck I'm talking about? Why I got so excited just now?

• 2:48:06Speaker 02

  Who's your favorite Spanish player?

• 2:48:08Mark Gagnon?

  The guy who got herpes.

• 2:48:10Speaker 02

  Who's that?

• 2:48:10Mark Gagnon?

  I don't know. He's like, I forgot his name. Bro, you only know the crazy stories.

• 2:48:16Speaker 02

  You're gay. You're actually gay.

• 2:48:17Mark Gagnon?

  This is a little bit of...

• 2:48:18Speaker 00

  That's all they talk about.

• 2:48:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, Ari's like, I drink alcohol a thing. You're like, dude, your dick was on it? That's awesome. Or gross. What did I say? Why are my nails painted? Cut it out!

• 2:48:29Mark Gagnon?

  He took that bag out. The guy said he had 11 bags in his dick.

• 2:48:33Speaker 02

  Bro, you just need to bounce on it one time, get it over with.

• 2:48:36Mark Gagnon?

  Just bounce on it. Stop it, stop it. You decide how far it is, and it goes. Stop touching your dick right now while you're saying that.

• 2:48:42Speaker 02

  You never take a big shit and think, man, a dick could fit in there?

• 2:48:45Mark Gagnon?

  No.

• 2:48:45Speaker 02

  You never did that?

• 2:48:45Mark Gagnon?

  Nope.

• 2:48:46Speaker 00

  Same.

• 2:48:46Mark Gagnon?

  Nah.

• 2:48:47Speaker 04

  You ever taken a big shit and it feels good?

• 2:48:49Mark Gagnon?

  Nope. Nope. Nope. Spain!

• 2:48:54Mark Gagnon?

  That's right.

• 2:48:55Speaker 02

  Spain, that's what you're gonna be feeling when you get dick.

• 2:49:00Mark Gagnon?

  Doesn't make sense, but it's funny.

• 2:49:01Speaker 02

  A little Spain?

• 2:49:03Speaker 00

  A little pain?

• 2:49:04Speaker 02

  Pain, it's a Spain. Alright, you get one of them.

• 2:49:07Speaker 00

  Fifteen, eighteen percent. Thank God it...

• 2:49:11Speaker 02

  Who do you think wins the World Cup?

• 2:49:13Speaker 01

  Um, I, who's, I don't know.

• 2:49:16Speaker 02

  Who do you want to win, rather?

• 2:49:18Speaker 01

  Uh, I'd love Ecuador to win, but... They're my boys.

• 2:49:22Speaker 02

  And David's got excited for that?

• 2:49:24Speaker 01

  Is he from Ecuador?

• 2:49:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, his family's from Quito.

• 2:49:26Speaker 01

  Rea- oh yeah, that's right, we talked about it.

• 2:49:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:49:28Speaker 01

  He's, he's even getting anything before.

• 2:49:30Speaker 00

  What's the US chances?

• 2:49:31Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 2:49:32Speaker 02

  I heard it's pretty good, right?

• 2:49:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:49:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, we got that.

• 2:49:34Speaker 01

  It's so good.

• 2:49:34Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, the girls he takes down.

• 2:49:35Speaker 02

  We got her so good.

• 2:49:36Speaker 00

  Alright, let me see the charms. US taking it, three percent. That's where the money is, gang.

• 2:49:40Speaker 02

  Can you touch the charms or is that bad?

• 2:49:41Speaker 01

  You can touch them.

• 2:49:42Speaker 02

  You asked about that?

• 2:49:43Speaker 01

  They're just like regular little trinkets and she put like...

• 2:49:45Speaker 02

  Sure you wanna do that.

• 2:49:46Speaker 01

  Shout out Anna Lou's.

• 2:49:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you won't walk under a ladder.

• 2:49:48Speaker 00

  I believe in demons.

• 2:49:49Speaker 02

  Like, what's up with that? Like, that is so bullshit. He gives me shit for believing in demons, he won't walk under a ladder.

• 2:49:54Speaker 00

  It's marginal benefit.

• 2:49:55Speaker 01

  I mean, this looks like, um, yeah, I don't know.

• 2:49:59Speaker 01

  Just three little...

• 2:49:59Speaker 02

  Can you put it on his lap real fast?

• 2:50:00Speaker 00

  No, no, I don't do that.

• 2:50:02Speaker 02

  You said these are all good things.

• 2:50:04Speaker 00

  It's not real, bro.

• 2:50:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's got the charms, it's good luck.

• 2:50:07Speaker 00

  It's not real.

• 2:50:07Speaker 01

  These are good luck.

• 2:50:08Speaker 02

  Nah, these are good luck, I believe it.

• 2:50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:50:09Speaker 00

  They're good luck.

• 2:50:10Speaker 02

  Nah, you, you got that from a kinder's of pride, bro, that's not real.

• 2:50:14Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:50:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:50:15Speaker 02

  It's fascinating.

• 2:50:16Speaker 01

  On their own, they're not, I don't think they're anything. I think she put, shout out Anna Lou's.

• 2:50:19Speaker 00

  Anna Lou's!

• 2:50:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, go see her. Or her sister, Anna Lou's too.

• 2:50:22Speaker 02

  It's dope. That's how they named them?

• 2:50:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're both Anna, they're both Anna Lou's.

• 2:50:26Speaker 02

  Like Dr. Seuss vibes, like being one? That's fire.

• 2:50:28Mark Gagnon?

  Come on, get it, feel it, feel the spirit.

• 2:50:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I carry them around with me, I don't know, I'm not fucking with it.

• 2:50:32Speaker 00

  This is a car, right?

• 2:50:33Speaker 01

  It looks like, yeah.

• 2:50:34Speaker 00

  This is Virgin Mary, maybe?

• 2:50:36Speaker 01

  Just some statue, maybe.

• 2:50:37Speaker 00

  And then this is a snake, wow. There you go, Mark.

• 2:50:40Speaker 02

  Charms, trinkets.

• 2:50:40Speaker 00

  Come on, bro.

• 2:50:41Speaker 02

  Yo, yo, just...

• 2:50:41Speaker 01

  You're not gonna take it back, you're not gonna touch it, Mark?

• 2:50:44Speaker 02

  I guess if you can, if you can step in a curse, you can probably step in a blessing, right?

• 2:50:47Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah.

• 2:50:48Speaker 00

  That's it, you stepped into a blessing right now, man.

• 2:50:49Speaker 01

  Step in a blessing, it sounds like a country song.

• 2:50:53Speaker 01

  Just step.

• 2:50:55Speaker 02

  I mean, alright. Yeah. I mean, okay, there's a snake, bro, that's not good.

• 2:50:59Speaker 00

  Nah, snakes are good.

• 2:51:00Speaker 01

  Snakes are good.

• 2:51:01Speaker 00

  Snakes are always bad.

• 2:51:02Speaker 01

  Owls are always bad.

• 2:51:03Speaker 02

  They're the good staff. You know about Adam Eve?

• 2:51:06Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 2:51:07Speaker 02

  Nah, but the snake, remember?

• 2:51:09Speaker 01

  They don't listen to it.

• 2:51:10Speaker 02

  No, but Eve did, and then it destroyed humanity, remember that?

• 2:51:13Speaker 01

  I hear what you're saying. Yep. Well, you're fucked now.

• 2:51:16Speaker 02

  No, come on, bro, don't. And then what is this Eve supposed to be? You were the last to touch it, so you got it.

• 2:51:21Speaker 01

  It's not like she didn't carve it.

• 2:51:22Speaker 02

  Wait, what was...

• 2:51:23Speaker 00

  Wasn't there another way of interpreting the snake?

• 2:51:26Speaker 02

  I mean, narcissism was saying the snake was actually the good guy.

• 2:51:29Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:51:29Speaker 02

  And that was actually the demiurge that created Adam and Eve and put them into this prison.

• 2:51:33Speaker 01

  Oh, weird.

• 2:51:34Speaker 02

  Nah, I don't like that.

• 2:51:35Speaker 01

  Demogorgon?

• 2:51:37Speaker 02

  It was the Demogorgon.

• 2:51:38Speaker 00

  Oh, the damn Demogorgon.

• 2:51:39Speaker 01

  But I'll tell you, I'll tell you something that was like really cool. This is all, ah, I meant to be funny on this, but... So like this, that kind of story, if I had to do it for a storytelling show, I'm like, I gotta work some jokes into that. Don't change your reality, but work some jokes in. Yeah, some jokes in to make it funny wallets, so it's not just like, can you believe it? Can you believe it? But also like, she looked like a cross between Clint Eastwood and, you know, Margaret Thatcher, you know, like, stuff like that.

• 2:52:05Speaker 01

  But here's something I realized when I got back is that I wasn't expecting, so I was gone for longer than I've ever been gone. I had and continue to have a legitimate joy in seeing my friends again. Like, saying how do you all still editing, and then when I'm saying like, ah, it just like fills you up. It's like, how you been? I missed you.

• 2:52:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:52:27Speaker 01

  Not even how you been, just like, let me just look at you for a second. I don't know, let me just take you in.

• 2:52:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's the best. Yeah, Brazil got to you, bro.

• 2:52:33Speaker 01

  Brazil must have got to me.

• 2:52:37Speaker 01

  Let me just...

• 2:52:40Speaker 02

  It is the best.

• 2:52:41Speaker 01

  Chile was great. Saw Oasis in Sao Paulo.

• 2:52:45Speaker 00

  Oh, you got to see Oasis?

• 2:52:47Speaker 02

  I meant to ask you about that.

• 2:52:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I missed him here, and I'm like, fuck, I'm like, oh, South America. I'm like, well, I gotta go.

• 2:52:51Speaker 02

  Which is the better place to see him?

• 2:52:53Speaker 01

  I heard more than America.

• 2:52:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, why, why, why is it down there? I mean, from what I understand, is like, they're the biggest in England.

• 2:53:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:53:01Speaker 01

  England and Ireland, over there.

• 2:53:03Speaker 02

  The UK. And then they're second biggest in Argentina. Specifically like South America, they have this vivacious like admiration for Oasis.

• 2:53:13Speaker 01

  It was all xylophone music until you get to Chile and then it became rock and roll again.

• 2:53:18Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 2:53:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, which was pretty interesting.

• 2:53:21Speaker 02

  But they must have gone crazy.

• 2:53:22Speaker 01

  Went crazy. So I heard the every, they know every word in Ireland, Manchester, London, whatever, every word by heart. They grew up knowing them. And then in America, everyone knows half the words. Eager went to like a couple and goes, yeah, Chicago, it just wasn't as cool a crowd.

• 2:53:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, they know two songs. Yeah.

• 2:53:37Speaker 01

  And then, and then back to, and then Australia, they know like three quarters or whatever. And then in South America, they just knew every word. I mean, these are like 25 year old, like you weren't even alive when they were.

• 2:53:47Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 2:53:47Speaker 01

  So fun. Everyone throwing piss in the air. That's why they were the bucket heads. The piss keeps going up in the air. That's why they started with the bucket heads on the ground.

• 2:53:56Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 2:53:57Speaker 01

  And that's why I'm like, I like being on the floor, but I don't need a, I don't need to be that.

• 2:54:01Speaker 02

  So they're peeing into their own cups?

• 2:54:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, they can't leave. And then like at some point during bass drop, yeah. You can see videos of their concerts and just see this fly, fly. Yeah, exactly. Where it's like, oh, they're having fun, but it's like, oh, what the fuck?

• 2:54:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then during cigarettes and alcohol, they all face away.

• 2:54:18Speaker 01

  I did, it was so fun.

• 2:54:19Speaker 00

  Wait, what do they turn?

• 2:54:20Speaker 02

  The ports gas, the port.

• 2:54:22Speaker 01

  He goes, I know how to do this at soccer game or football games in, in Ireland. Let's see if you know what the fuck you're doing. Yeah. And we all turn and like, it's so fucking fun.

• 2:54:32Speaker 00

  And what's the?

• 2:54:33Speaker 02

  They all face away. I forget what it's from. It's from some soccer tradition. I think it's like Eastern European and then it kind of like co-opted into.

• 2:54:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, they started doing it in soccer.

• 2:54:41Speaker 02

  Manchester City.

• 2:54:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. Face away. And then when they hit it, everyone turns around. That's like disrespect or some, the University of Maryland during football, basketball, I guess, we used to, when they introduced their team, we'd read the newspaper. Like, like disinterested. And then when they were done, we'd chug it.

• 2:54:54Speaker 00

  You went to Maryland?

• 2:54:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:54:56Speaker 00

  How old are you again?

• 2:54:57Speaker 01

  Hundred and seventy.

• 2:54:59Speaker 02

  The vampire. You didn't know that?

• 2:55:01Speaker 01

  They secured me, dude.

• 2:55:02Speaker 02

  He's not cursed. He's actually Jewish.

• 2:55:04Speaker 00

  No, my boy went to Maryland. I wonder if you guys went to school. He's forty six, I think.

• 2:55:09Speaker 01

  Probably because I took a couple of years off, so probably overlapped.

• 2:55:12Speaker 00

  Get out of here, you know, just so we can make more.

• 2:55:14Speaker 01

  Twenty five thousand person school.

• 2:55:15Speaker 00

  No, but you.

• 2:55:18Speaker 01

  Oh, I see why you say it might.

• 2:55:21Speaker 00

  Cause you were religious at this time?

• 2:55:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was just losing it there.

• 2:55:24Speaker 00

  But he wasn't very religious.

• 2:55:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 2:55:28Speaker 02

  You rekindle it though.

• 2:55:29Speaker 01

  I smoked a lot of weed, so the names.

• 2:55:30Speaker 00

  Alright, fair enough.

• 2:55:30Speaker 01

  Also, by the way, when I'm gone, I could not, I could picture people and I'm like, I don't, I don't have their name in me anymore. I'm like, these are friends and I'm like, I can't call up their names. I just wasn't thinking about them.

• 2:55:42Speaker 02

  That might be good. I'm like, we're not supposed to know so many people.

• 2:55:45Speaker 01

  So, so, anyone I met where it came up that I was a stand-up comic, um, if they didn't recognize me, it came, first of all, they were like, that's the coolest I've ever heard of. That's so cool. We were like, yeah, right? They would go, the Hostel Backpackers, like, do you know Shane Gillis? Was like, pretty much only, I know, or do you know a local one, or do you know Shane Gillis? Except, anyone from Brazil. Do you know Hafiz Bastos?

• 2:56:11Speaker 00

  Hafiz, shout out Hafiz.

• 2:56:13Speaker 01

  He told me about this restaurant, he told me about this place.

• 2:56:14Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 2:56:15Speaker 01

  He is their, I got told in Bolivia, in the Uni South Flats.

• 2:56:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:56:19Speaker 01

  Brazilian guy, told me, he goes, oh, you're a comedian. He goes, do you know, um, Hafiz Bastos? They don't call him Rafi. And I was like, yeah, no, I mean, I know him. He gave me a list of stuff to do in Sao Paulo.

• 2:56:32Speaker 01

  And, uh, he goes, oh my God. And he was like, well, and he told me this joke that he got in trouble for and got driven out of Brazil for. And as, this guy's telling me this joke and I just start dying laughing. And he goes, no, it's a bad thing. He went over the line. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. My natural reaction was that was legitimately funny. I'm sorry, I didn't know about the backstory. He goes, yeah, you're supposed to hate it. I'm like, I didn't hate it. Even you telling me. You're not even a comic.

• 2:56:59Speaker 02

  You don't have his timing, he's still good.

• 2:57:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, he is the, and everywhere, I was like, you know Hafiz Bastos? I'm like, yes. Yeah, I went to a restaurant he told me about. It was like a little high end and they were like, sold out Saturday. And I was like, okay. My friend, uh, Hafiz Bastos told me to go there, like, 7:30.

• 2:57:15Speaker 00

  No way. Damn. Motion. Hafiz still got motion in the homeland.

• 2:57:21Speaker 02

  I mean, he's doing like big, like, arena.

• 2:57:24Speaker 01

  He's their king.

• 2:57:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. He was like their first guy for like SNL Brazil or something, I think.

• 2:57:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:57:29Speaker 02

  Like, they did SNL Brazil and like, he hosted it. Like, he was like featured on it a bunch of times. He's massive over there.

• 2:57:35Speaker 01

  Massive.

• 2:57:36Speaker 02

  And you wouldn't even know it if you talked to him, cause he's so down to earth. Lowkey, I'm glad you got pushed out of there, cause now we got him.

• 2:57:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:57:45Speaker 02

  Oh dude.

• 2:57:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, the whole thing was really cool. Just looking over the map now. I got a camper van, drove through Patagonia for like three weeks.

• 2:57:54Speaker 02

  Pretty sick, huh?

• 2:57:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, just wild camping, just pull over in a canyon and just like, or by a river or something, just the most gorgeous. Just the most gorgeous. I got a picture for you, me with this dog and this like steer skull in the middle of nowhere with his backdrop. I gotta send it to you.

• 2:58:10Speaker 02

  Did you ever wanna go home?

• 2:58:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, a couple of times, missed my dog.

• 2:58:13Speaker 02

  Man, I'm over this.

• 2:58:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:58:15Speaker 02

  And what did you do in those moments?

• 2:58:18Speaker 01

  I got real weird around street dogs the whole trip.

• 2:58:21Speaker 02

  Oh, because you missed your dog?

• 2:58:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got real weird. I got into it. I'd say leftovers first, and then eventually I'm like, ah, these are wet in my pot, I don't wanna do that, so I'd just buy treats. And I'd be like, what's up buddy, what's up? They'd be laying out there, you know, they're everywhere. How you doing, you good boy? And then let's say like growl, I'm like, you getting a treat? And they'd be like, what the fuck? They'd be sleeping and you put one by them, they go.

• 2:58:46Speaker 01

  This is a high-end treat, they're not even like trash like I'm used to. They're like, what? Yeah, I told you that, whatever, the dog out there, like I learned some new fucking pet techniques out there.

• 2:58:57Speaker 02

  Like?

• 2:58:58Speaker 01

  This.

• 2:58:59Speaker 02

  Oh, rubbing that.

• 2:59:01Speaker 01

  Right in there. You put your legs together, they get their head in there, and then you go like that. And they really like being like, they're like autistic boys, you know, where they get all set, and you go like that.

• 2:59:10Speaker 02

  I don't know. You didn't grow up with dogs, did you?

• 2:59:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:59:13Speaker 02

  Oh, that's awesome, you gotta make up for it now.

• 2:59:15Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:59:16Speaker 02

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 2:59:17Speaker 01

  Saved a couple?

• 2:59:18Speaker 02

  Saved them?

• 2:59:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:59:19Speaker 02

  Meaning?

• 2:59:20Speaker 01

  Found one in El Salvador, in this like food festival town.

• 2:59:28Speaker 01

  And it was like, I mean, they're all cute, they're all fun and cute, and if they're not friendly, they don't survive, you know, they won't. Please won't allow dangerous dogs out. Half of them are just in someone's house and they just open the door in the morning to come back for dinner.

• 2:59:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:59:42Speaker 01

  And the other half are just street dogs, which I got sad about, and then I'm like, no, you guys are outlaws, living your life. Doing whatever you want, making friends.

• 2:59:51Speaker 02

  You're kind of a street dog, you know what I mean?

• 2:59:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly, yes.

• 2:59:54Speaker 02

  You're living in a car?

• 2:59:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:59:57Speaker 02

  Not so different.

• 2:59:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I saw this purple fucking shit on his head, and I was like, oh, that's cute, did somebody? And then it was just a hole to his skull.

• 3:00:03Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 3:00:06Speaker 00

  Santo Taco.

• 3:00:07Speaker 01

  Santo.

• 3:00:09Speaker 00

  The transition is fire. We're not done with that story. Can you try to transition, buddy? No, we're not done with that story. They just heard you were here and they heard you were just in South America and they.

• 3:00:18Speaker 01

  No, they did not.

• 3:00:20Speaker 00

  I didn't ask for it.

• 3:00:21Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 3:00:22Speaker 00

  They just heard you were here and they heard you came back from South America and they wanted to give you some.

• 3:00:26Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 3:00:27Speaker 02

  This is one of the best taco places in Soho.

• 3:00:28Speaker 00

  I'm not doing a bit or a promo, I swear to God. I didn't ask for them and not only that, they've never done it for us. I know. I'm like, what? You got some. So this was very new.

• 3:00:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, Mexican-American comedian Ari Shaffir.

• 3:00:40Speaker 00

  But continue with the story about the dog.

• 3:00:41Speaker 01

  Mexico, by the way, number one. So like, listen, America does a lot of great shit. Wow. But Mexico crushes us on movie theater concessions.

• 3:00:51Speaker 00

  What do you mean? What do they got?

• 3:00:52Speaker 01

  Split popcorns and flavors and the flavors are Dorito flavored popcorns with Dorito flavor plus Dorito crumples in the popcorn. You can do a whole, you can do, they do the same with Cheetos.

• 3:01:05Speaker 00

  This is. Yeah, we need that.

• 3:01:08Speaker 00

  Can you rap so we can eat?

• 3:01:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's, we can rap.

• 3:01:12Speaker 04

  You seem like a person who.

• 3:01:13Speaker 00

  Let me get a, let me get a little.

• 3:01:15Speaker 04

  Were there any like people from, how did you do the research? Were you on YouTube watching like other people do travels for you?

• 3:01:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:01:22Speaker 04

  Reading like?

• 3:01:22Speaker 01

  Oh, no. Looking at pictures is the wrong way to go. Tip three.

• 3:01:26Speaker 00

  Go.

• 3:01:26Speaker 01

  Don't look at pictures. Find your own way. The pictures are washed. They are, hey, get out of my shot so it can seem like a loan. The reality is different and if you're expecting something amazing, it's not going to live up to that. So there was a hot springs in Patagonia that we, I didn't know about and I just like, I was like, I'll go to this hot springs and there was like crazy on this like sound. And you could do the hot spring like, like carved out ones and then you could jump into the sound to like freezing water then back in. But it was like cloudy, but I didn't know what to expect. So you have these beautiful mountains behind, but a little cloudy. I thought the pictures would have been a disappointment. Without the pictures, I'm like, I didn't know anything about this thing.

• 3:02:05Speaker 00

  Right.

• 3:02:06Speaker 01

  And it was like, this is awesome. Anyway, tip three, don't look at pictures.

• 3:02:11Speaker 01

  But yeah, I go recs over, over blogs. Blogs, that means everybody's doing it.

• 3:02:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, you gotta go direct to the people.

• 3:02:17Speaker 01

  Get a recommendation, a real person that's there around now. It's like, I went to this one thing and it was really sick.

• 3:02:23Speaker 00

  Anything you refuse to do?

• 3:02:29Speaker 01

  Hmm, yeah, I don't know.

• 3:02:32Speaker 00

  Like, it's like, this never ends up working out. It's always a bad idea. It's not worth it.

• 3:02:40Speaker 01

  Hmm, I don't think so.

• 3:02:44Speaker 01

  Nah, I mean, if everyone's going to like a nightclub, like, it's not my scene, guys.

• 3:02:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, you don't need to party like that.

• 3:02:48Speaker 01

  I got a big hike tomorrow. I'm not gonna do that.

• 3:02:50Speaker 00

  Daytime.

• 3:02:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but, um, but no, really. Went watching the prostitutes in Medellin. There's like a prostitute park.

• 3:02:57Speaker 00

  Oh, that's fire.

• 3:02:57Speaker 01

  Buy crushed cigarettes, Lucy's, and go smoke and watch them. It was, it was a lot of fun, actually. It was a lot of fun.

• 3:03:03Speaker 00

  Um, guys, Ari Shaffir.

• 3:03:05Speaker 01

  Hmm, yeah.

• 3:03:06Speaker 00

  Make sure you check out.

• 3:03:08Speaker 01

  Nice to see you, guys.

• 3:03:08Speaker 00

  It's great to see you, dude. Make sure you go check it out. Go buy it right now. AriShaffir.com or theend dot YMH studios dot com.

• 3:03:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, straight to that.

• 3:03:19Speaker 00

  And just fucking indulge in masterful performance arts, stand-up comedy, storytelling. You will love it, I promise you.

• 3:03:29Speaker 01

  If you have a favorite, or if you, probably a lot, reach out to them on Instagram.

• 3:03:34Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:03:34Speaker 01

  After you see their stories and say, I loved your fucking story.

• 3:03:36Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:03:36Speaker 01

  Comics are vain, and that's actually the number one compliment we like. I saw your comedy and I liked it. Let them know you had a good time.

• 3:03:44Speaker 00

  That's a great idea.

• 3:03:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, watch it with friends. It comes out right before 4/20.

• 3:03:47Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 3:03:48Speaker 01

  Watch them on 4/20. Seven episodes, you're not getting through it in one day.

• 3:03:51Speaker 00

  No, it's the weekend.

• 3:03:52Speaker 01

  It's the weekend.

• 3:03:53Speaker 00

  Hmm. Love you guys, peace.

• 3:03:56Speaker 01

  Peace.

• 3:03:58Speaker 05

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.