A Very Flagrant Christmas

YERRR – it’s a Flagrant Christmas special, and the boys are ashy, blistered, and wildly unhinged. We’re talkin’: – Andrew’s busted lip, Overrated holiday movies, – Gen Z brain rot, and a studio romance?! – Skaters wiping out, crimes before death, and David’s community peen – Plus: the Flagrant Christmas Quiz, hopes for 2026, and the New Yorker of the Week All that and more on this week’s festive episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 What’s up with Andrew’s lip? 5:18 Christmas games 7:25 Worst Christmas movies + Overrated 11:42 Cranky Alexx + Turn off laughter 13:30 Laughing gas singing 17:52 Skateboarding is INSANE + Embarrassing slips 23:27 Flagrant Studio Romance??? 35:11 David’s community peen + Karen 41:03 Before death, something surely? 43:50 Commit a crime, will never happen again 50:13 This is real love + “Deviated Septum” 53:58 Hopes for 2026, WC + Eileen Gu 1:02:28 Flagrant Christmas Quiz of the Year 1:16:24 Gen Z brain rot 1:21:11 New Yorker of the Week 1:27:49 And the winner is… This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola, for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Who took a bite out of your lip, bro? What is that?

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Son, I can't even defend it. It's like, I might as well just be like, I got herpes. Because the way if I describe it, you're not gonna believe me, so.

• 0:39Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, tell your lie.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 0:41Speaker 03

  That's a good way to position it.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  I don't know, I don't know what to tell you. I got it, I got it. I got it. How do I even get out of this? I thought it was gonna heal. I was putting fucking ointments on that shit for the last two days. Like, yo, please, God let this shit be healed by Flagrant.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  No, nothing.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Your girl's giving you shit, she's like, put this on, it'll fix it.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  I was on stage last night looking at the whole front row like, please, Lord, don't let him spit on me with that fucking herpes on his lip. Yeah, so, anyway, so, yeah, that's what it is.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  His story was that he peeled off like a little piece of skin.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  My lips were dry and cracked and I had peeled a little piece of skin off.

• 1:17Speaker 04

  Oh, you asked him about the herpes, right?

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Yes, and yesterday was way worse, it looked crazy yesterday.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  He's projecting, bro, because he's ashy.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  I know, I know.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Because he's an ashy little YW, bro.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  Yo, I am ashy, dude, look at, look at this.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  He's an ashy little YW.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Look at, look how ashy I am, dude.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  No, he's trying to show off his calves, come on.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  Look at that, you can't tell.

• 1:34Speaker 04

  You got Asian calves.

• 1:37Speaker 03

  That's a compliment.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, your calves are looking.

• 1:40Speaker 04

  The rest of you is frail, but the calves is high.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  You don't even need to say the other part. You mustered up the courage to compliment me, let's just sit on that.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  You can't, you can't.

• 1:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I'm tough up top and my bottom is frail, so.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  When you said Asian calves, I thought you meant that I had like sparsely growing hair on them?

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Oh, also that, also.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Asians got like about seven hairs tops.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they disperse.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  Great calves, just so God gave him that so he could show off.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  It's just like bald spot right there.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Any other observations you like to make about me?

• 2:04Speaker 04

  I'm saying, you got your calf out.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  I was trying to show you ashiness. I didn't need to be criticized for other things as well.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  I feel like Alex shaves his legs, to be honest.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Do you?

• 2:13Speaker 01

  I'm just not hairy.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Let me see.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm ashy as fuck.

• 2:17Speaker 04

  You're not ashy.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  That shit is like crocodile.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  You're not ashy. Oh, no, you are.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm crazy. You look like a Louis bag, bro.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Play tic tac toe about shit right now.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Hello, Looney Tunes.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  Bro, Al's later on Canal Street right now, swear to God, you're buying me fifty bucks.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so funny, Mark.

• 2:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  More, more on him, more on him.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Too close, too close.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  More on him.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  Nah, we gotta have to switch seats.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Shut the fuck up.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Oh, you gonna give me the hurt?

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Why don't you shut the fuck up?

• 2:46Speaker 04

  You gonna give me the hurt, but I don't want that shit.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  You been had the hurt, bro.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck outta here.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Be honest, dude, you definitely have herpes.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  I've never had a blister in my life.

• 2:56Speaker 04

  Never had a blister in my-

• 2:57Speaker 03

  You never had a blister anywhere?

• 2:58Speaker 04

  You wanna do this? No, like the herpes blister.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  You wanna do this? You wanna do this?

• 3:02Speaker 04

  Oh, blurp time.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Do you wanna do this?

• 3:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's go.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  You're gonna end up blurping.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  Okay, let's go, cuz I-

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Do you really wanna do this?

• 3:08Speaker 04

  I really wanna do it, let's go.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Ohio.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Tor.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Funny Bone, Columbus.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  I have no idea.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Like, I'm trying, I'm trying to put it together, I'm like, fuck.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  You don't remember your whole shit?

• 3:26Speaker 04

  Nah, he's fine.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  You wouldn't even come to the show.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  Shut up.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  You had Mark set up the cameras.

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Oh, shut up.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Yo, can I just tell the story?

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Okay, okay, alright.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  Thank you, you had Mark set up the cameras. You had Mark set up the cameras cuz you're like, I can't let people see me like this, I have a reputation uphold.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  And you, you had a full blown, and it wasn't even on your lip, it was like, it was this one here. It was like in the corner, it looked like you were like stretching your mouth really wide for something. And, and your lip had cracked, and you had to take a fucking weekend off of shows.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  You get pity laughs from shit, dude, that's-

• 3:56Speaker 02

  That's what you get right now, so.

• 4:00Speaker 04

  I fuck with it, you, you a trooper, man. He's a real one.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Fuck you, Al.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Keep him around.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Shut up. Shut up, Al.

• 4:08Speaker 04

  I'm starting the clock, alright, we got one hour fifteen, everyone's got a blurp. It's hot as fuck with these goddamn fire sweaters. A fire sweater? Yeah, they're not ugly, they're fire.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Can we get some AC though, please?

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, we could do a little AC. Yeah. Alright, you wanna get into Christmas vibes, you got a story to tell, Schultz?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  No, I got no stories.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  We would love to hear, you got one story. We're dying to hear.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 4:31Speaker 03

  The blister.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Oh, I told you that.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Oh, that's where, that's, okay.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  That's the story.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  We're in, baby. We're fucking.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  That's the one he's staying with?

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 4:40Speaker 04

  That's the story. You go with it. It's fine.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got it. I'm like.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  I don't like this, I don't like this energy from you. I don't like this, like, where are you?

• 4:48Speaker 04

  You came in the same energy.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  You just three of his own podcasts and now you have like a fucking bully energy.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  Y'all been bullying me since I sat down.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  Bro, it's Christmas.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  I almost didn't get the down out. I almost didn't get the down out. I almost didn't get the down out, bro. I'm telling you, I don't know what's happening.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  The only reason I'm a little suspicious is because you've had this before. What'd you call it before? Input, input, input digo?

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Oh, that was a different one.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  You had multiple flares on.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  When did you call it before?

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Put the AC on.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  And it happens in the winter.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  Input digo.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  It was early flag. You remember that?

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Bro, my bad. Let me tell you, I'm gonna have to use Butler.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Already?

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had that shit way back in the day.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  That was terrifying.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  I completely forgot about it.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  That's the only reason I'm suspicious of this. It could be a flare up.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's like a virus. You get that from like a.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  So is herpes.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  It has. I think it's in the name. It's like.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Herpes simplex one, I think?

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Where is it in the name?

• 5:45Speaker 04

  I thought it was herpes simplex virus. I thought.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Might be that. Yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  All right, can we play some Christmas games?

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Guys, this is the greatest season of all time.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Christmas.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Okay. If anyone doesn't know, we're joined here by my friend Andrew Schulz, my buddy Akash Singh, Alex Media, Joey, White Media.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  You're calling a friend.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Also my friend.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  And we got Shifty, and we got me, all right? And in the spirit of the season, I figured we'd play some holiday games.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Let's fucking do it, dude.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  What do you say? What do you say, Al?

• 6:14Speaker 04

  This is a weird energy. I like it though.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Why is it weird?

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Just go with it. Go with it.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Why is it weird, Al?

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Why are you being so critical, dude?

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  No, it's different.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Insecurity is.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, his posture is up. What is that?

• 6:23Speaker 04

  So y'all not gonna notice that he's just being different?

• 6:26Speaker 03

  No, you're being weird.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  You're being different.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  You're being weird. I got my butt touched in LA.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Hey, dickhead. The episode is different. Look at the seating arrangement is different.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Things are different.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're trying to have some fun. Can you let this guy try to let us have some fun?

• 6:40Speaker 04

  Let's have fun.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  There we go. There we go.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  Hurry and fuck up.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Politics?

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Al's not in the Christmas spirit.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Oh, no, not yet.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  I don't think Al's in the Christmas spirit.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  It didn't hit me yet. It didn't hit me yet.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 04

  It didn't hit me yet. But come on.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Also, you gotta act right because I want you to know I have shooters in the room right now.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  Bang.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Shifty?

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh shit. Okay, alright, alright.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  So, don't fuck around, alright?

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Alright, we brought these back, alright?

• 7:05Speaker 01

  So, we got Shifty with the Nerf guns.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  From the Raptors, alright?

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Also, we got my... We got the... We got the whole gla-gla boom.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Come on, man. Come on, man.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  We got the whole gla-gla boom, alright? So you better duck, bitch, okay? So just watch out. You just better watch out.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Did we have it?

• 7:25Speaker 01

  What was that, Miles?

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Shout out Big Head.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, if anyone doesn't know, Miles is on the ones and twos. He's playing all the pretty buttons, right, Miles? Okay, no, you're supposed to play sound effects.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  Oh, I wanted to shoot someone.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  God damn it, Miles.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Okay, what are we doing? What do you have for us? This is a beautiful Christmas special brought to you by Flagrant.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  What do you have for us, Mark?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Well, we can start with just some Christmas questions, okay? We're just getting to the vibe of the spirit.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  It's hot in here, yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 04

  That's...

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Okay, these sweaters are... Yeah, we're cooking right now. I'm not gonna lie. Okay, tell us.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Honest question.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Worst Christmas movie of all time. Go.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  The worst?

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's the worst?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  That Grinch shit I saw this weekend.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  I couldn't do it.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Awful take.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  I couldn't do it.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Awful take.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Maybe I'm too old. I saw it as a 41-year-old man. It was terrible.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  You've seen Jim Carrey's Grinch?

• 8:11Speaker 03

  And I love Jim Carrey. I mean, no disrespect. I know he put in a lot, but I just couldn't... I couldn't do it.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  That's a bad take. I would say that's probably the best Christmas movie.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  The Grinch?

• 8:19Speaker 03

  That's crazy. That's the fucking stupidest thing you've ever said in your life.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  By a mile.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  That's the stupidest thing you've ever said in your life.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Nah, nah, nah. The Tim Allen joints.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Santa Claus is the best?

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Never seen it.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  The Santa Claus joints were, I think, incredible.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  What are we talk... Home Alone. What are we talking about? Back to back, like Drake. Bang, bang.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Elf, like, is way better.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Elf is phenomenal. I put Home Alone above it.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  I think Elf's a little overrated, bro.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  It's just overplayed.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  I think Elf's overrated. But also, it was so gassed by the time I saw it. I was waiting for it to be the greatest movie I've ever seen.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  So like, because everybody was like, this is amazing, but I thought it was kinda meh.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  You've explained this to me. That's my entire personality.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  And if I'm bad at high expectations, I'm gonna hate it.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  Okay, but yeah, it's a good movie.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Wait, worst is a hard way to phrase it.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  I tried to watch This Christmas, but it was just too old and I just...

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Which one is that one?

• 9:08Speaker 04

  I don't know, some little white kid. He looks a little retarded.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 9:13Speaker 03

  The fuck is he?

• 9:14Speaker 01

  This Christmas?

• 9:15Speaker 04

  I believe so.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Is this a new movie?

• 9:16Speaker 04

  No, it's old. It's not.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  A Christmas Story?

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Oh, that one.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  You fucking idiot.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  There we go.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  This Christmas is...

• 9:23Speaker 03

  You black idiot.

• 9:26Speaker 04

  This Christmas is from 2005.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  This kid?

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, that one.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  That's a great one.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  It's not, I watched the whole thing on a plane a couple of years ago, because I was like, yo, Christmas time, whatever. It don't hit, it don't hit when you watch it all the way through as a grown up.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  That kid's, that kid's the main elf in Elf.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  He also produces his podcast, actually, that kid.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  Nah, but if you saw it as a kid.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Play it, Miles.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  That was good.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  That was good. None of us see Miles as a producer, so we didn't get it immediately. That was good.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't get it.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Play it, dude.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Which one do you want?

• 10:02Speaker 01

  The bomb, motherfucker, come on.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Tim bombed twice. Tim let Mark bomb twice. Oh, oh, this is, this is high level Christmas production we got going on over here. We got the glug, glug boom, that's also a good bomb.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Like glug, glug boom.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a nice bomb.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Okay. Nah, Christmas Story slaps if you see it as a kid, it's unbelievable.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  How do you do worse?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  I didn't see it as a kid.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  We gotta do most overrated or something, because the worst Christmas movie is hard.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Brinch is most overrated to me.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  You can say A Christmas Story, that's a good take.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. I would say the other, the other best is Nightmare Before Christmas.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Sucks.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  I haven't seen that.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  I don't even remember it.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  That fucking guy creeped me out, yo.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Tim Robbins?

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Jack Skellington?

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Nah, that.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Tim Robbins?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  I was thinking of Freddy Krueger.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Tim Robinson. What's the guy's name who makes all them cartoon movies?

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Tim Burton?

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Tim Burton.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Burton. You're thinking of this motherfucker.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, that guy, that's the guy that's Nightmare Before Christmas. And he's married to, uh, the Harry Potter witch.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Bellatrix.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Bellatrix Lestrange.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's in it.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  She's in it, 100%, yeah, yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Nah, that's, I think all time best Christmas movie.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Best soundtrack, for sure.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Love Actually, unbelievable. You watch, the second that's on, you're watching it. You've never watched Love Actually?

• 11:15Speaker 03

  It's a great movie, phenomenal movie.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  I feel like you just don't know the names of things.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  The Holiday is a great movie, it's a little, it's corny, but it's great. It's got, what's her name, she's a beast, Kate Winslet? She's amazing.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  This one.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  You've seen it before, Hugh Grant.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  The kid story in it is phenomenal.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  You would like it.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  I'll check it out.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  You like romantic movies, right?

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Not really.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Oh, is it because you're autistic?

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  It doesn't help.

• 11:40Speaker 04

  It's fake love.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Did you, uh?

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Fake love?

• 11:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's no arguing.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  The movies be too nice.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  It's a fucking movie.

• 11:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, be too nice. Why are you so critical of everything?

• 11:51Speaker 02

  He's been in the movie?

• 11:51Speaker 04

  No, I'm assuming. The whole movie is arguing. Oh, it is? Okay, so then I might like it. I was judging a book by the cover, that looks like a bunch of cookie cutter.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Yo, what you going through, man? Yo, fuck y'all, nigga. You got a Christian spirit, bro. Don't try to M-word your way out of this.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Don't you dare try that with us.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Yo, you wanna call him a black idiot, soak authority.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  I can't, I gotta let you do it.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Now, now, now tell us what you're going through, what's happening emotionally for you? You have a rough flight or something? I feel like you're bringing some real-

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Maybe you're a little cranky pants, you fool, you were nice.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, Scrooge McDuck, bro. A little tight energy in the pod tonight? You're a little Scrooge McDuck, dude. Do you need a little tickle, tickle? Do you need a little tickle, tickle? Tell me, what's going on? Come on!

• 12:29Speaker 04

  Wait, I can turn it off, I can turn it off.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  This is adorable. Oh, you can turn it off?

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Do, do, do, do, do.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  You almost got him. Couldn't turn that one off, could you? Couldn't turn that one?

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Do you want to tickle?

• 12:45Speaker 02

  What if I tickle your pants?

• 12:49Speaker 04

  I can turn it off.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Nah, this shit is hammered.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  I seen it too many times.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Oh, you seen this?

• 12:58Speaker 04

  I've seen it too many times, everybody says this shit to me.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  That was from the group chat, Tanya dropped that in, just, first thing in the morning, no context. Absolute heater? Yeah, I mean, Akash, what do you think, is this racist?

• 13:08Speaker 03

  You know what, Jewish people got enough hate coming at him, they can send some shit to me.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got it.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  I would argue that this one's better, though.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Is that real, though? That's AI, right?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  Can you turn it up, Arthur?

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Nah, Al sent this to the group. Black idiot.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  That's enough, yeah, that's enough.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  You started it, son, you sent this to the group!

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, but...

• 13:36Speaker 02

  But how does it feel when he calls it to you? Like, what does it feel like?

• 13:40Speaker 03

  What part hurts more?

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Cause he definitely is one of them.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  That's a good joke. That one stunk.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  He definitely is one.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Damn dude. That guy's been radicalized, bro.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Nah, that one stunk.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Alright, can we go to the group chat and get some more group chat videos? This is a, I mean, this is an all-time banger. Have you seen the kid that goes?

• 14:04Speaker 02

  We need to turn AC up in this motherfucker. I don't know what this is made of. This is 100% like Icelandic sheepskin or something. I am dripping sweat right now.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Again, we need to go cold. You need to bring everybody else in the studio that's gonna freeze out there. Where are you going, Miles?

• 14:21Speaker 05

  We gotta just open the doors.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Alright, open the doors.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  We airing it out.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  We're airing it out. He's hot up in this bitch, okay?

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Have you seen this? This is a kid that goes to the dentist. He gets put on laughing gas and then he starts singing.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  I want some laughing gas.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  No, no, leave that open.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Have you not seen this?

• 14:36Speaker 04

  I've seen it.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  This is unbelievable.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Yo, this is phenomenal.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  What is he singing?

• 14:54Speaker 01

  He's singing Wicked.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  Wicked.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  This is what's funny about it.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  He's inserting the...

• 15:00Speaker 02

  I mean, what a beautiful voice. Yeah.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  I mean, unbelievable, bro.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Going into the yay is fire.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  I'm glad you brought that up because they've made edits about it.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  I mean, it's beautiful.

• 15:18Speaker 04

  It is.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  So this is the edit that they've made.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  That's the most beautiful nigga ever.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Gorgeous, right? I mean, what a beautiful voice that kid has.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  It's unbelievable. I'm curious if he knew he had that in him before he got the drugs. Like, he must be like a musician, right? That's my assumption.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's got the best voice ever.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  But was he just a regular TikTok kid and then got drugs? And then was a gospel singer?

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  We need to look into that account, because it might have been the parents and they just recorded it and that's it. This is the beginning of the story.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  It would break my heart if it's AI. Wouldn't it break your heart if it's AI?

• 15:57Speaker 03

  I hate that we're getting to the point that we can't tell.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  No, it's not AI. There's no way.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  There's no way.

• 16:01Speaker 04

  I was hoping it wasn't just marketing for Wicked, because that clip is going crazy right now.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  He would be on Ellen immediately if this was 10 years ago.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  And it was a different word.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  It may be over. Well, that's what's interesting is it's not the N-word.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Oh, what is he saying?

• 16:14Speaker 01

  So the lyrics are, "You're never gonna bring me down." In the actual Wicked soundtrack. So he's saying "me down." And it sounds like the N-word.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  This is like that dress. Is it blue and gold or black and blue?

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Guys, I got a couple of shows on the books right now. Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th, okay? We also have Great Outdoors Fest in Halifax, Nova Scotia, August 8th, okay? Mark Gagnon coming.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Cam Patterson coming. Lucas Zelnick coming. I think we're gonna have some local guys on it too. We're gonna have a crazy show up there at the Garrison Grounds. Go get those tickets right now, theandrewsholz.com.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Also, guys, show dates as soon as the new year starts. I'm at the Pittsburgh Improv, January 8th through 10th. Then Phoenix, Arizona, 15th through the 17th. Get your tickets for that quickly. The Wilbur, I think there's less than like 50 tickets left, so if you're not getting them now, you're kind of fucked. But, the next day, January 24th, Fox's Casino. Get your tickets for that, those just dropped. Augusting.com, we got all those dates and more. Generational triumph tour, we love y'all, we're adding dates. Thank you so much. God bless.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  What's up, people? Mark Gagnon here, I'm on the road. I'm going to Salt Lake City, Utah, January 16th and 17th. Washington DC, February 19th. And Charlotte, North Carolina, February 22nd. And then, of course, I do my monthly show in New York City at Mary Lou. You can get the tickets there. On my Instagram, every single month, whenever we do that show, I'll see you guys there.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Suck his dick.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Thank you, yes, see you there, peace.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  And guys, all of you who tuned in.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Into AM mornings. Thank you very much. It was an awesome show. We do it every Sunday at 11 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. Just go to am mornings.com to call in. But now it's the holidays. It's the time to give back. I am also throwing a benefit show, a comedy show. We're gonna have a bunch of guests on January 24th. This is cancel comedy X.com to get your tickets. All proceeds are going to Food Bank for New York. So yes, please get your tickets. If when you buy tickets, when you drink, when you eat, all that is going to go to feeding people in need. So I'll see you guys there, January 24th, cancel comedy X.com. Peace.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  We got more shit from the group chat. All right. All right. Oh, this is legendary right here. Shout out Chris Jocelyn, man. So explain the significance of this. Okay, so this guy just won skater of the year, right? He did was called a tray flip down this place called El Toro. It's a 20 stairs. So imagine 20 stairs. A tray flip is the board rotates in a 360 and flips at the same time. Apparently he tried the trick and I'll butcher this. I'm such a skateboard casual, but uh, he tried to flip like eight years ago or something like that. And then he kind of rode it out, but his truck broke. So he like rode it for a little and then the skateboard kind of gave out and some people like, ah, it doesn't count.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Like it would be, it would count for all of us if we did a fucking ollie and we did that, but for, you know, professional skateboard, whatever. So eight years later, he goes and just fucking stomps it. He doesn't try it again for eight years? I don't know. Maybe he did and maybe, I don't know exactly, but 20 stairs. So think about this. That shit is nuts.

• 19:25Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  And you don't land it the first time. So there's videos of him trying it. Just imagine, it's like, how many times can you jump down 20 stairs?

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Just think about that.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  And you're just hoping you don't get injured badly enough that you can't do it again.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Exactly. So every time you're doing it, like these guys learn how to fall like the um, parkour guys.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  Stuntmen.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly. But uh, dude, it's this awesome video. He goes, I fucking did it. His kids run out. They give him a big hug. That's nice. There's, oh, look at, look at him.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  No, I love this, that triumph shit.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Look at this.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  Oh, that's great.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  And he's kind of Brock too. Oh, the dude is fucking jacked.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, Diesel.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  Usually they'd be like skinny bone. Son, skateboarding is Different? From when I was a kid. What people are doing on a skateboard, like I grew up on Astor Place, right? And like, all the kids that would go become like the supreme guys, would all be skating Astor Place, and then there was like Union Square, there was a place called the Brooklyn Banks Downtown, you remember? Okay, there was this place, The Cube, right? You guys obviously know that. And, uh, obviously these guys were good, and we saw the Tony Hawks and all these things. The people, the things people are doing now on a fucking skateboard, like, kickflips onto board slides on rails, then kickflips off of the rail, like...

• 20:41Speaker 03

  You know in Tony Hawk, this is what it sounds like, you know where Tony Hawk, you would just do these crazy combinations?

• 20:44Speaker 02

  That's what they're doing in real life now!

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  They're doing video game shit. I almost wonder if the video game pushed...

• 20:53Speaker 03

  The art forward?

• 20:54Speaker 02

  The art forward!

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Cause kids are playing and they're like, "Oh, you could do this."

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Why don't we try that?

• 20:58Speaker 01

  You could bring it to an airport, and ride on the baggage claim, if you wanted to.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Locate?

• 21:02Speaker 01

  If you wanted to.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  100%. But like, the level of difficulty for something like this, and just the level of, um...

• 21:09Speaker 05

  Physicality.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  Physicality and injury, like, yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 05

  There's crazy falls off that, where people just absolutely blow their whole legs out and shit.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  They blow their ACL, they tear their groin.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Like the force when you land 20 steps, boom, boom, crazy. Now the wheels will hop a little bit, but like, that's still...

• 21:26Speaker 02

  There's, I've seen him do some stuff, cause I was looking at all his stuff after this, right? And like, I saw him do some things that he was, um, it wasn't something as big as this, but you could see him realize he wasn't gonna land the trick in the air, quickly kind of kick the board out of the way, and then do his like land and roll.

• 21:45Speaker 05

  He did an Alex Media backflip.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, this shit was... This is like a whole doc on it, that's like how big it was for skating.

• 21:56Speaker 05

  It's just funny how the steps has a name.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  Well, I think it's like El Toro High School.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  It's El Toro High School, there's a bunch. There's one called the Leon 25, which is in Leon, France.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 22:06Speaker 05

  They would just call it.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  But Mark Brown's an interesting... Look at that. Yeah. But he almost makes falling seem like it doesn't hurt that much. If you fell four stairs, that's like the rest of the day. Oh, yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  I tried rollerblading back in the day because that was cool. Three stairs, I was like, I'm too pussy.

• 22:21Speaker 05

  Bro, I drunkenly fell out of a pizza parlor trying to talk to Shifty.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  You got hurt walking.

• 22:25Speaker 05

  Fucking, yeah. I damn near tore everything.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  Electric bike, thank you.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Hold on, there's two different conversations going on.

• 22:31Speaker 05

  I was drunkenly in a pizza parlor and I saw Shifty walk by and he just sort of waved. And then I tried to run out of the pizza parlor and be like, yo, Shifty. And I didn't know there was a stair coming down out of the pizza parlor.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Fully fell in front of like, it's a popular place, a lot of people in line. And just fully fell and then had to act like I wasn't in pain running up to Shifty. And like, dude, how are you?

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Dude, were you with Shub when he ate shit on the grate?

• 22:53Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Being Shub walking down the street, it's pouring rain, it's cold, there's ice everywhere. And he's on one of those metal parts of the sidewalk.

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 05

  I look over and the next thing I see are Shub's feet next to my bed.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  And I had one of those almost yesterday. I ran out of my apartment to go to do shows. There was ice on the ground and my right foot went and it was like cartoon. It was, it went straight up like fucking Nazi walk. And then, thank God, my left foot was on not ice. But I was almost like, on the way to the Uber, the Uber driver's looking at me approach. He sees the Lego flying and I see his eyes open up like, oh no.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  I did this yesterday. I'm chasing an Uber, like it stops on the street and everyone's honking at him. And I see him and I'm like, oh, fuck, just stop, please. And he starts to drive and I'm like, no, no, no. I start to run and I hit ice and scramble. And then I catch up and he's like, bro, where were you? And I was like, you don't even understand.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't even understand what I've just been through. You don't have ice where you're from.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Shifty sent me this.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  No, can I just bring up one thing before we?

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Oh, I love these videos. I watch this shit all day.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  One, two, guys.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Hold on, dude, good.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Because it's interesting, you said you bumped into Shifty in the neighborhood, Miles, because Shifty now lives with you guys.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  So we, I have another set of eyes on what's happening in the neighborhood.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, so just letting you know, Miles, you know the rules of the office, right? What is this? There's no, there's no sexual relations with anybody that works in the office, right? Miles, you know the rules in the office, right? I know the rules in the office. I don't like, can I use my own blurb on this?

• 24:25Speaker 02

  I mean, it's tap. I'm just, I'm just saying, Miles, you know the rules of the office. There's no sexual relations. Let Miles get his dick wet real quick, bro. Yo, don't talk about it like that. Why don't we describe the moisture of any woman that works at this office? Or David. Or Tim. And that's what I'm talking about. I'm just saying, Miles, you know the rules. Producer tag. Apparently, apparently, apparently, there's been some- Yo, chill, fam. What you doing? Yeah. Was he mouthing a blowjob? Nah, I was trying to make the sound when you fucking. But I couldn't. Are you fucking a squirrel? Yo. Ah, no. Hey, go back to bed, Miles. Come on, Miles. Yo, Miles, this is awesome.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I always say, I saved you, you lucky. I just want to thank you for taking all the fucking momentum out of that shit. We're having so much fun. Hey, you're welcome, you're welcome. Okay, all right, back to the show. You know the rules, there's no- No, we're not back to this, go back to this. There's no fraternizing. He's a pit bull, dog. Sex law way with anybody that works at the office. I'm just saying, Shifty didn't even snitch on you, he's like, yo, it's so crazy. I see Miles and Alex everywhere, getting bagels together, getting ice cream together, just walking down the street skipping. They, he, he said that he sees you guys non-stop together. You live down the block! I got fucking eyes on you. I live near everyone, I'm with Mark all the fucking time. You never said you see him with Mark. He never says- Say gay? She's gay. Who's gay? Alex. Alex. He loves gays. That's true.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  All of his friends are gays. That is true. So there you go, it's friendly. When did Alex become gay? She's big time. No way. Yeah. Alex, there's no way. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, Alex. You didn't know she was gay? Alex, get on the mic, yo. Alex, the what? Yes. Big D. No way. You're the worst gay dog I've ever seen in my life. Nah, get out of here, man. She's a big lover. I don't buy it. Alex! Alex, come on, yo.

• 26:25Speaker 06

  There was carpets you can munch, yo. What is this?

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Hold on, Alex, are we outing you on the whole pod right now?

• 26:31Speaker 06

  Um, I'm not.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Hold on, hold on. You made her gay.

• 26:36Speaker 06

  What?

• 26:37Speaker 02

  You're still full in the first place. She was straight when I knew her three weeks ago.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  No, she was gay the whole... Look how she dresses.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  She doesn't dress...

• 26:46Speaker 02

  What's happening here? What is happening on this podcast?

• 26:50Speaker 04

  He's sort of gay.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  What type of attacks are this? We have to protect the marginalized communities here. I don't think you dress gay at all.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Not to be anything wrong with it.

• 26:58Speaker 06

  Alex did say I dress like a little boy. But that was when you dressed like a boy, though.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Hold on. What's going on? Is this a new thing? You got one haircut.

• 27:08Speaker 06

  I have had sex with women, but I'm not gay. But I don't know if that's the answer you're looking for. How can a guy say that? "I've had sex with guys, but I'm not gay."

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Yo, just cut that first part.

• 27:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, no, no. Andrew Schulz, Andrew Schulz.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, that works.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  That'll get him off.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  Now you're gay.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Can we have one here?

• 27:27Speaker 06

  You tricked him, bro.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  I know. Can we have one?

• 27:29Speaker 04

  No, you fucking got him, dude.

• 27:30Speaker 06

  Andrew Schulz, Andrew Schulz.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  I think it was him who said that. He said his name right afterwards.

• 27:36Speaker 06

  He did, he did.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Okay. Oh, come on. Hold on.

• 27:38Speaker 06

  The way that the holiday commercial just became real.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, it's life reflecting art or whatever.

• 27:45Speaker 06

  Right.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, so, okay. They're saying you're gay, which is totally fine.

• 27:51Speaker 06

  To get out of the Miles accusation? Is that what I'm hearing?

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Yo, is Miles... Can we just, can we just understand what's happening? Shifty told me that...

• 28:00Speaker 06

  I'll tell you what's happening.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Is Miles making you feel uncomfortable? Because if he is, you can talk to me and I'll make that happen.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Is Miles fucked Miles up right now? Yo, say the word.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  Just tell him, you're not protecting him either. I'll fuck Miles up. I'll do it.

• 28:16Speaker 06

  I'm a good guy.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  I've got nothing wrong, okay? Tell me what happened.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  His voice is cracking.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  Is Miles... You know that you don't have to meet up with him if you don't want to?

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Hell, I'm Indian. If I say y'all getting married, y'all getting the fuck married.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  This is also...

• 28:30Speaker 04

  That's a different route we go.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  But I'm just saying, it's like, you don't have to feel like you're subordinate to him.

• 28:34Speaker 06

  No, I don't.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  You don't feel like your career is on the line?

• 28:37Speaker 06

  Miles has a really unique condition. Where we can, like, hang out. Ready?

• 28:45Speaker 06

  His face. He's a... He's completely smooth down there. He's a Kendall. It's not...

• 28:52Speaker 02

  No, not a good one. Not a good one.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Shoot, Miles, I mean...

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Shoot, Shifty. He fucking added me on this.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  What is happening?

• 29:04Speaker 04

  That's my fellow wax boy.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  What is happening? Guys, hold on.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  We smooth.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  How do you even know about his pubic region?

• 29:14Speaker 06

  I'm just calling him asexual in a creative way.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  You did this bad. You were trying to say I have no penis.

• 29:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, that is what I'm trying to say. That he's not like a sexual...

• 29:23Speaker 02

  But the problem is you can't say that because then they're gonna go, "How do you know that?" New try again. From the top. How do you know that?

• 29:29Speaker 06

  From the top. I'm just saying he's asexual, you have nothing to be concerned about. If we're getting pizza.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Oh, you're saying that he doesn't make you feel uncomfortable?

• 29:38Speaker 06

  No, no.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, that's good to know.

• 29:41Speaker 06

  Yeah. But I don't think that was your concern. I think you just wanted to out...

• 29:46Speaker 02

  How long can I work with him? Six minutes? He's going through it.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  Let him go through it.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I was... My concern is this. I want everybody that works here to feel safe. Yes.

• 30:00Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  And I know how Miles is with women.

• 30:02Speaker 06

  Right.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  I know how he is with women. He goes through them. Yeah. He goes through women.

• 30:09Speaker 06

  Got it.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  He has tens of women. And then, in Brooklyn, walking up and down those stairs, getting to that apartment, and he's reading them books.

• 30:19Speaker 06

  He's never read me a book. So I think I'm in the clear.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  He's never read you a book?

• 30:22Speaker 06

  He's never read me a book.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  Gays can read too, Miles? Women can't, though. Well, that's why you read it.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Okay. So like, I just know that... I know he has this like sauce-sweet demeanor. He's a lothario. But he is a lothario and he seduces women.

• 30:40Speaker 06

  What does that mean?

• 30:40Speaker 02

  That he's a seductive man. He's a man-suck.

• 30:42Speaker 06

  I don't believe you.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  We're rolling me back to like hyping me up. I don't want any of it. I'd rather be... You... You are... Girls like you, they're like talking to you, they're like being around you. Do you not like being around them?

• 30:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, as like my 32-year-old coworker.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Play the sound effect. Hold on now! Hold on now! That felt like a shot. 31. That felt like an absolute shot. If he's all the way, ma.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Wow. Okay. So, okay, so it's completely platonic for you, is what you were saying.

• 31:17Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Too condescending.

• 31:18Speaker 05

  I don't know what happened.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  This is a Christmas gift for all of us.

• 31:23Speaker 06

  Oh, like, excuse me?

• 31:25Speaker 02

  This is, I want to make sure that our female coworker is safe.

• 31:28Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  We have to fit a quota before the end of the year by having at least one woman on the pod.

• 31:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's true.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  And, you know, we get to at least squash a little rumor that was running around the office.

• 31:40Speaker 05

  Oh, where's the rumor fucking start?

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Oh, you know, you know, my wife, Emma, Emma thought that you guys were gonna hook up immediately. Emma called this months ago.

• 31:49Speaker 05

  I, at the same time you said your wife's name, I called Shifty a shithead. I just wanna clear up, I wasn't calling her a shithead, I was calling Shifty one.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  I think you just used your blurb.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  Spiraling.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  I think you just used your blurb right there. You got one blurb, and I think you have to use it there. You, you would rather, you would rather let...

• 32:06Speaker 05

  No, I just cleared it up. My blurb doesn't need to be used.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  There's no clearing it up, you called my wife a shithead.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  You can't, you can't just say it and take it back and make this be a... Yeah, that's how it works. I'll try to make a joke. He tried his best, it's okay.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  Come on.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  I'm only joking, you just gotta roll over, stay rolling.

• 32:25Speaker 05

  The whole time we're talking, I'm like ducking, cuz I think he's gonna shoot.

• 32:27Speaker 02

  He's not gonna shoot you.

• 32:28Speaker 05

  He's not gonna shoot you, don't worry.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  It's not gonna happen. But if you call my wife a shithead, obviously you should blurb that, because you wouldn't want that to go out there on the internet. It's very disrespectful, god forbid that she saw it.

• 32:38Speaker 05

  She would, I would never call her a shithead.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Emma thought that you guys were gonna have an intimacy issue at work. Hmm.

• 32:43Speaker 06

  She said that on the 4th of July, and I was like, that's crazy, I would never touch Miles. And I'm sure, I'm sure he was like, well, but that, that was the angle.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  So, what team are you on?

• 32:57Speaker 06

  I'm just saying, I didn't mean to be rude, I'm like, I would never touch Miles.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Hold on. Miles, she would never touch you, and she's not that picky.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Even with gender, she don't give a fuck.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  But she knows one thing for sure. She's not giving you shit.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  But can I be honest, that is kind of his game. You don't see it, you don't see the moves he's making. He slowly weaves you in.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  He never told you some random facts about container ships and you're like, oh man.

• 33:29Speaker 06

  Believe it or not, that doesn't do it for me.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Say again?

• 33:32Speaker 06

  That doesn't do it for me.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  No?

• 33:33Speaker 06

  Container ship facts, I know.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  He's not telling you about the Maersk container ships?

• 33:38Speaker 06

  I think you're saving that for the real.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Okay, so the deep, the deep cut facts are not something that work for you?

• 33:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, that's not like my angle.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Alex likes improv guys.

• 33:52Speaker 06

  You guys know I have sex with clowns, like professional clowns. So I don't know where this is coming from.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Come over our wives.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  Is that supposed to be an insult here?

• 34:03Speaker 06

  No, it's just the truth. Like, that's just...

• 34:05Speaker 03

  You mean like makeup?

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Am I not funny? What the fuck is that? Oh no, Miles! Miles, no! He gets back.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  Shut up!

• 34:12Speaker 02

  He's back in the world, Closer, my boy. You are funny. You are funny. Thank you, yes, I appreciate it. You are funny. Let's play an improv game. Maybe this will work. Can you suggest something? Yes, okay, let's do a scene, Christmas party. Christmas party. Christmas party. And you guys are married.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  Yep. Here we go, here we go.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  And go. How does it go? We say a word? Yeah, exactly. You start with a word? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go. Toaster oven.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Pop tart.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  On? What, I don't understand how the game works. Damn, bro. I thought he had a chance, man. Maybe I'm not funny, man.

• 34:47Speaker 06

  He has no chance.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Damn. He has no chance at all.

• 34:49Speaker 06

  Well, after that, improv is just... He's not, I just don't think I'm in that bucket for Miles. Like, he has a roster of like, actual people. You know what I mean? And I'm like, a little brother off his...

• 35:01Speaker 02

  What team are you on?

• 35:05Speaker 02

  You know, Alex is really just putting you through the spin cycle right now. Yeah, you're on the spin cycle. What are you feeling emotionally as you go through this, Miles? I don't know, dude, this is overwhelming, I'll be honest. Yeah. Now you've made Miles uncomfortable.

• 35:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, now Miles is sad.

• 35:19Speaker 06

  If anything, David's probably in the other room jealous.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  That makes me happy. David's jealous of, uh, you? The attention, no, just the attention that...

• 35:28Speaker 07

  He's a star.

• 35:29Speaker 06

  No, no, Miles' time, not the attention.

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Miles what? Miles what?

• 35:33Speaker 03

  No, I think, I think David wants to fuck Mark now.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 06

  Oh!

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, he does. Don't blame him. Is it true that David was Shifty's friend first? Yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 02

  Really?

• 35:43Speaker 03

  Wow, what happened?

• 35:44Speaker 06

  What a slut, dude, he runs.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Yeah! I thought that, I thought you brought him in. No, he was my homie from way, way back in the day, we had mutual friends. Oh, he's community dick.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  And then I connected with Shifty, they almost lived together.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Oh. Now you said "homie eh", what did you mean by that?

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Yo, you are just...

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Can I just? I fucking love this shit. Can I just have a soul popper? Yeah, I know, this is awesome. Can we just have a nice enjoyable soul popper? This is the shit I like to do, fuck it. But what did you mean by "eh"? Like, did you not?

• 36:18Speaker 07

  He was my friend.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Oh, he was your friend?

• 36:20Speaker 07

  I don't know if, I will use the, I don't... Well, he wasn't Mark's friend, I don't think, first.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  He's a social climber, this guy.

• 36:26Speaker 07

  I mean, he was like an Instagram buddy.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mark, gosh, thank you for your contribution, motherfucker. I feel hurt, I feel hurt. He can try, he can try to leave him for you next.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  Just wait, just wait. Did you say you feel, you feel hurt that he hasn't tried to appeal to you?

• 36:43Speaker 03

  A little bit. But maybe I'm after Mark and then you're after me, who knows?

• 36:46Speaker 02

  Okay, I see, I see.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Al is too dark for him to be friends with.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  That's on David.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  That's true. Is he a racist?

• 36:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Is he? Yeah. Wow.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  He saw four black guys turn balaclavas and called the cops.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  No, he didn't.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Walking out of a unicorn, he's like, yo, I think they just stole from unicorn, they had shopping bags.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Called the cops on a Lululemon he used to live across the street from.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  He was really scared.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  That's a funny way to say a store he was shopping in.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  No, he literally lived across the street.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  And he called the cops because he saw four black dudes walk out with...

• 37:21Speaker 05

  Three with Bob bobs on. And I told this story in front of Archer, and Archer was disgusted.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  As he should be.

• 37:28Speaker 05

  What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 37:29Speaker 02

  That's a horrible thing to do as a human being.

• 37:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  We're grateful he gets us ads for the podcast, so. And we're not gonna change anything about it. Alright guys, I want to get back to the Christmas spirit, okay? Alex, I just wanted to make sure you feel comfortable and safe at work. I feel comfortable. And also in your neighborhood. Yes. With your coworkers. Yes. Okay, good. Do you guys have any plans in the near future to hang? I think we'll probably both kill ourselves right after this.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  Really? You would rather kill yourselves than give Miles any love whatsoever? Is it that bad?

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Somehow no one feels uncomfortable. And then social media and everyone feels uncomfortable.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Wait, what just happened? That was... I feel like you guys would... And again, I don't want to suggest anything, but I feel like you guys...

• 38:13Speaker 05

  No office stuff.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Before death, you would probably do something.

• 38:16Speaker 05

  No, if they work here, no.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Before death. Miles, would you rather kill yourself?

• 38:24Speaker 02

  And be without?

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  Take his hat off.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  Interesting question.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  And again, there is no pressure, and this is just a hypothetical conversation.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  I'm very curious.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Would you rather... A, Miles, would you rather kill yourself?

• 38:43Speaker 05

  Because I can't answer either way. If I kill myself, I either... Yeah, I'd rather kill myself.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  You'd rather kill yourself?

• 38:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Yes, the answer is yes.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  That's a safer HR answer.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  That's the safest answer there is.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  That's the right thing.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  That's what we want.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  And am I posing a question that's like, wrong?

• 38:57Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  No, no, I think that's a valid hypothetical.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  What I'm saying?

• 39:01Speaker 03

  No.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  I mean, if the goal is to not have office trysts, then...

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I don't want to have office trysts.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Great.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  I'm doing this because I have to protect the culture at the office.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the way you're posing the question...

• 39:12Speaker 02

  What am I saying?

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Well, you're saying, would you rather kill yourself or have some type of romantic relationship?

• 39:16Speaker 02

  Technically, that's what she brought up.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  But that's gonna hurt her both ways.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, but what I'm trying... I like to empower the people at the office. So I don't want to silence voices. When she brings up a great hypothetical, I would like to also present that to Miles and see if he would shoot himself in the fucking head before he made out with Alex.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  And?

• 39:31Speaker 02

  How do you feel about that? We're gonna go with a yes on that one. Damn, that's insulting.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  That's a safe answer. We want that.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  You made out with David. He also works here. What the fuck is happening? I had an issue with that one. What the hell is going on? Oh, that's good, got him. It wasn't brought to my attention, and if it was brought to my attention, I would've said something about it. Yeah. Yeah. Make out with David. You would make out with David? I did not make out with David. Yes, you did. No, I kissed one homie. Kissed one homie one time.

• 40:00Speaker 03

  Mouth kiss.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Y'all kiss a homie one time? Nah, bro, for New Year's. What's going on? Speaking of hypotheticals. Yes, go, go. Yo, Mark, come on, do your... Quarterback this shit. Quarterbacking. Mark, you gotta take over, Mark. Come on, Mark. Can I pose a hypothetical to the group? Yes, you can. Alright. Joey, would you cheat on your girlfriend? No.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Alright. Alright.

• 40:25Speaker 05

  If you could commit a crime, but the crime you commit could not be committed ever again, what crime would you commit?

• 40:30Speaker 02

  So, think about it. Ooh. You commit a crime. You have to do this heinous act, but you know that for the future, all of humanity will never... Alex, you don't have to leave. Alex, you don't have to leave. Don't let him fucking tell you what to do. You shooing the women out the room, though? Alex, do not ever let him tell you what to do. That's not his rule, okay? You know, he went like... Fuck, they get it though, fuck. Yo, Alex, have a seat. Alex, have a seat. Alex, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. She was done. Stop blushing, Miles. You make yourself comfortable, alright? That was... Alright, okay, listen. I was offended by that. Okay, you commit... Alright, here, maybe we pose it, Alex. You commit one crime. You can commit a crime.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  Once you commit it, humanity in perpetuity will never have to deal with this crime again. It doesn't exist anymore. You can protect humanity in perpetuity, but you have to... You have to commit it. Did you see this guy's answer? Yo, play it.

• 41:25Speaker 05

  Once you do this, no one after me can do it. No one. It will never happen again.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  There's an answer that's great for humanity.

• 41:32Speaker 05

  Any crime, any crime. Like me, bro, there's things that I'm, like, personal about. Like, wallah, that... Bro, the safety of women and children's big to me.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Cause that's the say, that's the answer that's the best for humanity. But then you really brand yourself if you say it.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, but like how's, yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  I think you go murder.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, murder's the safest answer. It's the safest answer.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  Murder's the easiest.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Well, what if you go sexual assault? But on a guy who's a racist.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  That's, there's, didn't Dave have a bit about that, like raping a racist or something like that?

• 42:15Speaker 01

  No, I don't know.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  He saves, but he rapes.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  That's the comedy shit. Fucking phenomenal.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  So there you go.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  No, but, but then-

• 42:24Speaker 02

  But that would only save from-

• 42:26Speaker 03

  That only saves rapists from being raped. And now who the fuck cares? They should-

• 42:30Speaker 01

  A lot.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  And is it gender specific?

• 42:35Speaker 01

  I think yes.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Okay. Wait, alright, what if it isn't? Go. No, I'm saying like if you rape a male racist, then you only stop male- No? No, no, it would stop all- Hold on, that's what I'm saying. We have to, we have to bring it down. We gotta bring it down. You're thinking about this really smart. Fuck you. So, no, no, you're right, you're right. It just stops all, you could rape a guy, but it would stop all rape, male, male and female. Okay.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  We're gonna get dinged.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  No, I'm still gonna murder. I was just, I was just asking.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Who are you asking for?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Why are we asking? What was the curiosity about?

• 43:20Speaker 03

  This is the fun game.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  Just asking a question. I can't ask questions. Because you definitely would never do it to a woman. We know that.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  None of us here would ever do it to a woman. Anybody.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  No, you can't do it.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Definitely wouldn't do it to a woman.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  You can't.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  But you, you could maybe do it to somebody and then protect all women.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  That's how you got done?

• 43:41Speaker 02

  This was consensual.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  That was a good attempt.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  This is a good attempt.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  That's a good attempt.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  I'm just saying.

• 43:48Speaker 03

  He ex-handed you.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  You could, you could rape a terrorist.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  It's not bad.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  It's not bad.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  And then you can protect women in perpetuity. You wouldn't do that to protect women?

• 43:58Speaker 04

  Nah, I'm sorry.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Really?

• 44:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. Some grapes have to happen, I'm sorry.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 44:05Speaker 04

  Hey! That is what this game is, right?

• 44:08Speaker 02

  Why, would you do it?

• 44:09Speaker 04

  So we can't just say what's-

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Would you do it?

• 44:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  You would do that to a terrorist?

• 44:12Speaker 03

  To a terrorist?

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  I would. Not even a question. Not even a question.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  To protect all of humanity?

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. No grape again?

• 44:20Speaker 02

  No grape again.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  Y'all are selfish, yo.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  No grape again.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  That's a bad person.

• 44:24Speaker 04

  Murder is worse.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 44:27Speaker 04

  Like, murder is a worse crime.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Then, like, a child?

• 44:31Speaker 01

  Nah, grape is worse.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  I think murder is worse.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Nah, cause sometimes-

• 44:36Speaker 02

  This is where your moral compass is crazy, I mean.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 44:39Speaker 04

  But you could just go to some therapy and then you're good at therapy.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  Don't try to black out therapy to save yourself.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  You could, though.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  He does do that when he gets into trouble, right?

• 44:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throws out the N-word, therapy.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  No, but you could-

• 44:52Speaker 03

  You're not even trying to hood it up to get yourself out of trouble.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  You could go to therapy. You could go to therapy, though.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  You could go to therapy. Therapy, alright?

• 45:00Speaker 03

  Nah, bruh. Come on, dude.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  Your life is still going on. Like, you take somebody's life, it's over.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  There's some awful people. You wouldn't murder a terrorist?

• 45:07Speaker 02

  It's supposed to be Christmas.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Good point, good point. That's a good point, dude.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  See, why you doing these fucked up hypotheticals, bro?

• 45:16Speaker 01

  We're just on the topic. I just figured it'd be-

• 45:18Speaker 02

  I suggested that one.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  It'd be prompt.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  I suggested that.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  I'm grape a terrorist, no question.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Can we say essay or something?

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Yo, essay.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  I essay a terrorist, no question.

• 45:26Speaker 04

  We can say grape and then we're good.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  Hey, hey, knowing the good I'm doing for humanity, my dick will get so hard, son.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  I am, bro.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Really?

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  Really?

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Blurping.

• 45:34Speaker 04

  Altruism turns you on.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Come on!

• 45:37Speaker 04

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  You don't have to do this. You could just do tax fraud.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Well, who cares about tax fraud? You piece of shit.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  You stop all the tax fraud.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  Oh, wow!

• 45:45Speaker 02

  But who's that helping?

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Fucking economy, bro. All these people are robbing us from the taxes and shit.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Oh, the economy. Shut the fuck up, you white fucks. That's the whitest answer I've ever heard in my life.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Fine, I'll up it.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Fucking perjury.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Okay, I'll go, I'll commit perjury.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  You'll commit perjury?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Yes. I'll get a speeding ticket, I'll go in, I'll be like, I wasn't speeding.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  And then there's no more lying in court.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  No more lying in court, ever.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Interesting, that's interesting.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  That's, he's an answer.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  See, there you go.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, he found a way to be a pussy in a smart way.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a good one. Fine, genocide, alright, gee, was that what you guys want, alright?

• 46:13Speaker 02

  You would do that?

• 46:14Speaker 01

  To terrorists?

• 46:17Speaker 01

  You genocide all day, woo!

• 46:20Speaker 02

  There was an answer that could have really got us out of YouTube views. And I want you to know that you stayed away from it, and I commend you.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Pivoted! Imagine, you genocide the Nazis, all of a sudden no more Nazis ever again. Ba-da-bing. We did that once, forty-five. It worked.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they never came back at all. Those ideologies are completely dead.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, the hypothetical wasn't posed back then, they did it for no reason. They should have done it for the hypothetical.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  You obviously gotta do it for the hypothetical.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you did it for the hypothetical, it would've worked.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Boss is going through.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Come on!

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Hey, Chris, guys, why would you do that? Stop! Nah, that shit, this is weird because we can talk about this. Why are you tapping? That was weird, bro! You would touch your hand, and he saw a new skit. That was mad weird, bro!

• 47:00Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna lie.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  That was some Freudian shit, dawg! I'm not gonna lie, you already know how I feel about this one. This one, this one is hot. Yeah. This one is hot. The challengers one was gross.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you just-

• 47:11Speaker 02

  This shit's kinda hot, bro! But you just have your monkey paw after you saw them kiss. Pause, pause, pause, let me tell you why it is.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, pause.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, listen, let me tell you why it is, I think. Cause...

• 47:25Speaker 02

  That's how people who really know how to kiss start a kiss.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Come on, bro!

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? The challengers one was like, "Oh, we're about to have our first orgy." Like, it was so tryhard, right?

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Like, also, if you're both straight, you wouldn't be actually trying to tongue kiss in there together. Like, none of the thing was believable. But they weren't straight, it's part of the movie, I think. Yeah, these are some Irish gays, in the field. Just fucking kissing, but they could kiss anywhere. Do you know what I mean? Like, we don't need to get into it. This is, this kind of-

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Cause it's true love to you.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  I don't even know if it's- It wasn't performative. It's not performative, it's authentic gay. It's authentic.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, true.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  They're not even gay, that's straight. That, to me, is heterosexual.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  I agree, with me.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  I agree with you too.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  That's heterosexual.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  I'm back out, I'm back out, me and David are good.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  You saying, you saying, can you watch this?

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Watch this with a straight dick, and just tell me- Just, look at this.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  Come on out.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Also, no tongue is nice. Yeah, no tongue is huge.

• 48:25Speaker 04

  One on the right enjoyed it more than the left. Left is, he's kinda...

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Nah, he did. Look at him.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  Let him cook.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  Nah, yeah, watch, look. He's really going, he's kinda like, eh, alright.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  Hey, yo. Alright.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, if we gonna break down real love...

• 48:45Speaker 02

  I'm breaking down, people. Fuck, what are we doing out there?

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So tell me, tell me what you were seeing in him that let me know that it was like...

• 49:00Speaker 04

  I'm just saying, like, you see the grip?

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Oh, the grip.

• 49:03Speaker 04

  The grip.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  Back of the neck. He pulled him in, back of the neck and pulled him in.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, the grip.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Also, like, I relate to this, can you see how his nose is crooked? I think it's part of me that sees myself in it a little bit more, right?

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Does that happen every time?

• 49:19Speaker 02

  What do you mean, yeah, of course. Happens when I brush my teeth in the morning, look in the fucking mirror.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course it does. You know what sucks is I haven't been able to breathe out of my nose for like six months.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  I have apparently a deviated septum.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  Oh, shut up. That's the Jewish shit so you can get a fucking nose job, right?

• 49:37Speaker 02

  I know, I know, I'm aware. I went to the ENT.

• 49:41Speaker 06

  My nose is natural, you're good.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  Fair enough. But I went to the ENT and the...

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Wait, what happened, what happened?

• 49:49Speaker 04

  I just don't believe it.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 49:51Speaker 06

  It's natural?

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's saying, you don't think it's natural?

• 50:02Speaker 04

  Blurb.

• 50:04Speaker 04

  I get it, I get one, I get one.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  You already blurbed.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  No, I didn't.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Come on, bro.

• 50:08Speaker 04

  Let's go.

• 50:08Speaker 06

  Oh, that was really fucked up.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was, that was really fucked up. If you start, if you start right now. I'm a pimpin'.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  I'm a pimpin'.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  That wasn't fucked up at all.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  I'm a pimpin'.

• 50:20Speaker 04

  Alex, that was horrible what you said. And I'm glad we... It was super fine.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  That was horrendous what you said. That was absolutely horrendous.

• 50:29Speaker 04

  Alex, it was so fine, dude. Yeah, bro, it was fucked up. Oh, you say I'm fine, I like that.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  All right, this is one of the last episodes of the year.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  2026.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  What is your, what is your, what is your hope for next year?

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Oh, I, I know that what I want for next year.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  What?

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Uh, I just want the United States to win the World Cup.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  That's actually fucking great.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  I don't even want us to win for us. I want us to win because of how much it would piss off the rest of the world.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Oh, they'd be limited.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  It's never gonna happen, but it's phenomenal.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  But it means so much to them.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  And we could take away that joy. Why, why would it never happen?

• 51:06Speaker 03

  It's just not gonna happen. And what are the odds? What are the calcio odds that we win the World Cup?

• 51:10Speaker 01

  That we win?

• 51:11Speaker 03

  That we win.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Extremely low.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Well, what are they?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Winning is low. This is, uh, 2026.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Look how low we are, holy shit.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  Ooh, 2%.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  2% trending down, I think.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  And trending down, okay. No, that makes, okay, whatever. So there's a chance.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. Are you gonna go to a game?

• 51:26Speaker 03

  It will be the greatest sports event in American history.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Which game are you excited to go to? USA vs.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  US verse. I'm gonna go to US verse.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Who else? Well, you know who's in the group?

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  So I'll go to US verse. I'm not actually picky, to be honest with you. I'll go to basically US verse anybody.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  What's your favorite verse in the Bible? All of them?

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do like all of them, but, uh, but no, US verse, I'll probably go to US verse.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  That's a good one. That's, I'm excited for that matchup.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Verse got a hell of a defense.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Who is in our group?

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Chile?

• 51:55Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Who's in our group, David?

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Canada.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Get your shine on, David. Who's in our group, David?

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Australia. Paraguay. And then the winner of a playoff game between Turkey, Romania, Slovakia, and Kosovo.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  That's a good group. That's a good group.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  They give you a soft group when you host, though, right?

• 52:14Speaker 01

  That's what we were saying.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  They gotta give you a soft group.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  When America got Australia, everyone was like, let's go.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  But who's the toughest in that group? Paraguay?

• 52:20Speaker 03

  Paraguay is my guess.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Australia, probably.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  They are smoking Australia.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  Australia.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  We are smoking Australia. That's not even close.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Well, they were also cheering when they got us in the group.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  Man, God.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Don't be disrespectful.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  They were fired up.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  No, we got that.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  That's what I want for Christmas, USA World Cup.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  They designated a game before any of the teams were picked as an LGBTQ game.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Why?

• 52:44Speaker 01

  In terms, like, to honor the LGBTQ society.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  It's the one in Seattle, right?

• 52:49Speaker 01

  It's in Seattle, and then they drew the teams, and then they're randomly assigned. The teams that are playing in the gay game is Iran and Egypt.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  That right there is next level trolling.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  It is.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  Let me tell you something, how amazing that trolling is, bro. Because you're gonna find out what those people care more about. Do they care more about their country? Or rainbow flags all around them? Because they're gonna have to sit in the gay painted arena. Right?

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  And cheer on the gay game. Do you wanna win the gay game or lose the gay game?

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Nah, you gotta win.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  But that makes you the champion of gay. Yeah. You're the gay champions of the World Cup if you win that game. But a win's a win. So now we're gonna find out. That's why the World Cup is a great equalizer in a lot of ways.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Like, all of a sudden, like, every country in Europe that's been saying, "We gotta stop immigration." The World Cup comes around, they're like, "Alright."

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Then we can wait for this World Cup to finish and then, and then we'll stop the immigration. Into the next four years. Yeah, it's, it is beautiful when there is something that people care more about than anything else in the world.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Especially when it's... When it's useless like that. Useless like a sport.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  Yep. The French national team is, uh...

• 53:59Speaker 02

  African.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  I mean, they were born in France, a lot of them. A lot of them were born in France.

• 54:05Speaker 02

  And fed there. I feel like wherever you're fed, that's where you gotta play.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like that.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  That's a good rule. Because that's what made you that. That's a solid rule. If you're fed... How long? Eighteen years. Oh, okay. If you're fed for eighteen years in a country, it doesn't matter what your background is, that's where you have to play. You don't get to be fed in America for all these years and then go play somewhere else. I like that rule.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Right? Because it's like, we made you who you are.

• 54:28Speaker 01

  There was like that skier that skied for China, remember?

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Christina Yang.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  Who's that?

• 54:33Speaker 02

  I threw it out there, man.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  I thought it was kinda close.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  That sounded believable. Eileen Gu. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  I think that's a DJ.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  Woo.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  That's a DJ.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  That was almost so racist. You were one letter off from a crazy slur. No, that's, that's Korean, that's Korean, that's Korean. That, uh... Oh, yeah, sure.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Eileen Wu.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Eileen Gu is the skier, bro.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  I was right.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  He was right.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Now who's racist?

• 55:04Speaker 01

  He was fucking right.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Now who's racist? Now who's racist?

• 55:08Speaker 01

  That's the skier, Eileen Gu.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Now who's racist? Oh, she's actually, she died.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  She's a cutie, too.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  We thought about putting her in The Street Fighter.

• 55:15Speaker 01

  Really?

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Oh. Which character?

• 55:17Speaker 01

  What do you mean, "we"?

• 55:18Speaker 02

  See, "we." We thought about putting her in The Street Fighter. I'm just saying, we thought about it.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  We thought about putting her in The Street Fighter.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  The name was thrown out there?

• 55:28Speaker 03

  What made you pivot in a different direction?

• 55:32Speaker 02

  I mean, I don't get the ultimate say, but you know, sometimes they throw names around. They're like, Schultz, what do you think about this name? You know, and I was like, traitor?

• 55:39Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  That's what I felt. I was like, she's a traitor.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  And she won gold over there for big air and half pipe.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Nah, she's nice. She's like, and she's like brilliant. She went to Stanford, I think. She's like beautiful. She's like a supermodel who's also the best at snowboarding.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  Choo choo choo.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  No, no, she's.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  She's ops.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  I know, she's the ops.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  That makes it worse.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  It makes it worse.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  That makes it more devious.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  Because she would be arguably the biggest athlete in the Olympics every single time if she stayed here. And now we gotta kinda like fake, act like we don't care.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Come on, Eileen, come back to the boys.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  You know, she got a retarded back.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Insane.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  She got the retarded back. Oh my God, they threw everything out.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  She's a smart girl, like you said.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  She's from Stanford.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Alright guys, take a break for the show.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  Alright, you wanna do a Christmas quiz?

• 56:26Speaker 02

  Yo, this guy.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Don't say this guy.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  Yo, fuck Mark. I'm not gonna fuck Mark in the chat.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  No, no, don't fuck Mark. Don't fuck Mark. I'm the one that cares about Christmas.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  It's for Christmas, bro. It's to have Christmas. He just wants to be anti-Semitic. That's fucked up.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  No, no, no, stop that.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  You wouldn't wanna start at Christmas.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  That was Andy's show, that was Andy's show.

• 56:54Speaker 02

  Alright, alright, alright. Let's take your little Christmas quiz, Mark. You retarded Christmas quiz.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  I did.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Let's take this little Christmas quiz. Oh, we got panels?

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Everyone gets a board. Joe, we got markers?

• 57:07Speaker 03

  They're in the cup.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Alright, here we go.

• 57:08Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Alex, congrats. You get to be a part of the Christmas quiz.

• 57:12Speaker 06

  Yay!

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Here, I'll pass it down to Alex.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Alright, here you go. Here you go. There you go. This is a year up, a year end review, alright? I'm gonna ask you five questions with four different categories, okay? You have to write down, you have to put an answer.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  And I'm gonna ask you the questions and we're gonna go through the answers afterwards, alright?

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  You guys are crazy.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  What was that?

• 57:34Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  What was that, bro?

• 57:40Speaker 01

  Al has been radicalized, bro.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Hey, that's my pictionary.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  Alright, that ancient Indian thing.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  I can draw it, it's fine for me.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Question number one, alright?

• 57:59Speaker 01

  This kid went viral this year. Yes. You remember that, right? Yes.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  Who is it?

• 58:03Speaker 01

  What country is he from? Now, for the record, you're gonna get points based off of who's the accurate one and also who's the funniest one. What country is he from?

• 58:11Speaker 06

  Can you watch the video?

• 58:15Speaker 01

  I need to watch the video. You've never seen this?

• 58:16Speaker 06

  No.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Oh my god, this is huge. Swag. This was one of the big trends of the year. Alright, question number two. Best picture. Sydney Sweeney posts a lot of Instagram pictures. Which of these pictures was the most liked? Come on now, we already know what time it is. Shit. I put one in there for you, Shulte. Which one was the most liked? Go, uh, go zoom in on that, zoom in on that.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Let's get a good, ooh.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  God gave some people everything, huh? That's crazy.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Which one got the most likes? Okay, go on. We got a new pope. What city is he from and what's his name? Okay. This couple went viral this year, alright? I don't know if you remember them. Oh, yeah, yep. What company did they work for?

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Oh, got it. Bonnie Blue had an amazing year. Yep. Breakout star. Yep. How many men did Bonnie Blue sleep with in 24 hours?

• 59:17Speaker 03

  What was the third question again? I got distracted by a toast.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  We got a new pope. Where's he from, what's his name?

• 59:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Okay, I got it, let's go. Alright, you ready? Yep, let's do it, 100%. Let's do it, let's fucking do it. Also, if you get it wrong, we might have a punishment. Shifty? Alright. Aw, fuck. Question number one, this little kid, Ora Foreman, on the boat. Alex, what was your answer? China.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Schultz? Thailand.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  I said one of the Chinese ones.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Okay, so, nope.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  The correct answer is Indonesia.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  I said I'm wrong?

• 59:53Speaker 01

  One of the Chinese ones?

• 59:54Speaker 04

  Partial points.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  Have credit!

• 59:55Speaker 04

  That's partial points.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  Have credit!

• 59:58Speaker 01

  They're all Chinese.

• 59:59Speaker 04

  Number two.

• 59:59Speaker 06

  China, question mark, question mark.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  Yo, y'all are racist.

• 1:00:02Speaker 06

  So I kinda get a point as well.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  Akash gets 50 points. Joey, I need you to keep everyone's points on this, okay? Sydney Sweeney, most liked photo?

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  A.

• 1:00:10Speaker 05

  C.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  I said, uh, D, because they're about to get two more likes.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Wait a minute. B was the most liked?

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was the most liked.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 1:00:21Speaker 06

  I said A.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  We're an ass country, dude. I love that. That gives me hope.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Zoom in on that.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  That gives me hope.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  We need to see that closer.

• 1:00:27Speaker 05

  Well, she don't got that. I also did a little math on this. The photos...

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  Yo, gang up! Yo, shout out Shifty, the most loyal dog in the game. I was fired!

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  With the Glock on, boom!

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  You had your G's back right there, Shifty.

• 1:00:46Speaker 05

  I'm trying to make him a good guy. He fucked...

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  I love that!

• 1:00:48Speaker 05

  Solt me out an hour ago.

• 1:00:51Speaker 05

  The two photos that you think would be the most liked, don't fucking point, shoot that at me, uh, are more recent, so they have less time to get the likes.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  Nah, but this is a significant difference.

• 1:01:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay, number three, go.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  All right, the Pope. What's his name? What city is he from?

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  I knew he was from Chicago.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  Leo.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Did you put Chicago?

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  I did put Chicago. I got the name wrong, though. I just went with the whitest name I could think of.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  Jonathan?

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  I put John, too.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Hey, real G's, don't...

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  These are white people, like, that's it.

• 1:01:18Speaker 06

  That's exactly what I said.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  Hey, man!

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  John?

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  John Luke Wilson.

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  Hey, black guys think alike, dude.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Alex?

• 1:01:26Speaker 06

  I said Chi-Town Mr. Pope.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  Nope. We're gonna give 50 points for Chi-Town, 50 points for Chicago, 50 points...

• 1:01:33Speaker 05

  Mark, what's his real name?

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  He said Chicago and Leo.

• 1:01:35Speaker 05

  Mark, what's his real name?

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Jonathan.

• 1:01:38Speaker 05

  Robert.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Fuck!

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  It's not Leo?

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  You didn't have that?

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  His Pope name is Leo.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Well, ain't that what you just fucking asked?

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  No, but Miles asked me his actual name.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Nah, but he gets credit for Leo. He gets credit for that.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  You just asked what his name was. He's the Pope.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  I asked you what his name was. His name was Leo.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, he said that. That's what I said.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  So he gets 100 points.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, but his real name is something a real Catholic should know.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. His name's Leo, bro. All right, number four, go.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  All right, number four.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  SpaceX.

• 1:02:03Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Ashley Madison.

• 1:02:06Speaker 06

  I said flagrant as a joke!

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  That was good.

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  They work for a company called Astronomer. What'd you write, Al? I just said, I don't know. Come on, bro. All right, sex with dudes in the day. How many men did Bonnie Blue sleep with? Go ahead. 1,012. 1,036 was my guess. I just put 1,000.

• 1:02:31Speaker 06

  I put 1,000,000, because I believe in her.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  1,057.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  Wow. Akash gets 100 points. Why she do extra? Do you want another round? She really loves that. I feel like Schultz is pissed. I want another round. You want another round? Yeah, we can do another round. All right, let's go another round, all right? Katy Perry went to space. Okay. Name two other women that went to space with Katy Perry. What musician started the TikTok trend 6'7" based off of one of his big songs? Taylor Swift, one of the biggest artists of the year.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Just dropped an album, Showgirl, Life of a Showgirl. Name one song on the album.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Come on, that's not fair. All right, go. Oasis went on tour this year. Name the two brothers.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  And then final question. How many bottles of baby oil were confiscated from Diddy's house? Per the indictment. Okay. And then last one, actually. Yeah. Name a famous musician that died this year. Whoever has the most monthly streams for the musician they name gets extra points.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  All right, ready, let's do it, run it. I'm completely out of order. All right. Who did Katy Perry go to space with, Alex? Bezos bitch and Ellen.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  That was close. Like that, like that. That's gonna be 50 points. Because technically Lauren Sanchez did go to space. Lauren Sanchez. Ellen is not in the country. She's been out of the country for years. Yeah, she's out of the country, bro. Really? Yeah. All right, Schultz. I had the No Doubt, the girl from No Doubt. Gwen Stefani? Gwen Stefani. Okay. Is she in it? Nope.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Sure?

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, fact checking, I mean Gwen Stefani did not go to space, bro. You're thinking of Katy Perry.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  Katy Perry and Gwen Stefani?

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:04:19Speaker 02

  No?

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  When did Gwen Stefani go to space?

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Leah Thomas?

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  No, not Leah Thomas.

• 1:04:24Speaker 03

  Caitlyn Jenner was my guess was one of them.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Well, who they, who, who drove the spaceship?

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  That's what I was thinking. I said Caitlyn Jenner for that exact reason.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  Okay, who else?

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Rosie O'Donnell.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  I thought the most feminine women I could think of.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  You sure Ellen didn't go?

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  No, Ellen did not go to space.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  No doubt went.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  No, okay.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  I think it was Katy Perry, no doubt.

• 1:04:44Speaker 06

  Oprah and a scientist, question mark?

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  Okay, a scientist?

• 1:04:49Speaker 06

  There had to be a female scientist.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  All right, who, who went, who went?

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  All right, Gayle King.

• 1:04:53Speaker 06

  Who?

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Oh, it's not Oprah. It's Gayle.

• 1:04:56Speaker 06

  Oprah and Jay.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  That's Oprah, bitch. Lauren, Lauren Sanchez.

• 1:05:00Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Aisha Bow, who is an aerospace engineer.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Amanda Nguyen. And Carrie Anne Flynn. Who's Amanda Nguyen?

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  And what kind of Nguyen are we talking? Like W Y N N or the Asian?

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  Vietnamese.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  N G. All right, next one, go.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  How does that make a difference?

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  I was just curious, I'm glad an Asian went.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  All right. She got a hundred points for that. What artist has the TikTok trend six seven?

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  I said Skrillex.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  The tru, the correct answer, Alex, what was yours?

• 1:05:27Speaker 06

  Kanye.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Okay, so the correct answer is Skrilla.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Aw shit dude.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  That's fifty points for Akash, that's fifty points.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  Six seven.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  All right, next question.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  Six seven.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  That should be sixty seven points, to be honest.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  What was the next question?

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  In the spirit, name a Taylor Swift song.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, name a Taylor Swift song.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  I had nothing, yo. I love Travis is what I put. I love Travis.

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  All right, let's see.

• 1:05:49Speaker 06

  There's a white girl in the room. Ophelia.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  Ophelia!

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Yes, what did you put? She got it wrong.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  All right, what is it?

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  The fate of Ophelia.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  Got him.

• 1:05:59Speaker 06

  I really don't like women, but I just want more.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  Don't, don't let him do this, how you doing that to your girl like that? That's exploitative. That's exploitative.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  That's fucked up.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  He's negging.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  HR in the room, yo.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, that is fucked up.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  I don't like it.

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  You didn't have to do it like that.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  You didn't have to do that.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  Do that shit outside the office.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Wait, what did you put? I put, oh, Kelsey, crack my cervix. Is that a name of one of the songs?

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  That's 30 points, that's 50 points for Alex.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  Alright, go.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  How you get 30 points?

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  Crack my cervix is kinda funny.

• 1:06:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Alright, Oasis Brothers.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  David.

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:06:36Speaker 04

  Cause he always says that group.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  And U2.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  50 points.

• 1:06:45Speaker 04

  50 points, let's go.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  I know this one.

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  That's 50 points.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  I know this one.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Alright, what is it?

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  Noah and Liam.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  Say again?

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Noah and Liam.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  I love when you're confidently wrong.

• 1:06:58Speaker 03

  You're very close. What is it?

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  It's Liam, and then another one, I forgot that. No, what is it? It's Liam and, uh, Noel.

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  Ah, I was mad close.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  Yes, I got both. Alright, 100 points for Alex.

• 1:07:10Speaker 03

  Alright, give me 60.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  75 for Akash.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, 75, thank you.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  50 for Schultz.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  25 for Alex, media.

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  No, I get 50.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Alright, fine, it's 50, I don't give a fuck. How many bottles of baby oil were at Diddy's house?

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  I think it was 10,000 bottles of baby oil.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  10,000 is what I wrote down.

• 1:07:24Speaker 06

  Oh my god, I wrote 10, 10,000.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  The correct answer is 1,000.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Ah, that was my second guess. I knew it was a factor.

• 1:07:32Speaker 04

  I was, I'm the closest without going over.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  What'd you say?

• 1:07:35Speaker 03

  What is?

• 1:07:36Speaker 04

  200, they said 10,000.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that's a good point, alright, Alex gets 100 points for that.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  Come on, Price is Right game.

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  Alright, I'm gonna need help, Miles, I need you to look these up.

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  I'm looking up a lot.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Name a musician that died this year.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  What the fuck was that about? He's just like, that was aggressive just now.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Alright, you're gonna help me with this.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  I'm locked in, I got some good answers up here.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Name a musician that died this year.

• 1:07:58Speaker 04

  The guy that got killed by his son was, did he do music?

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Come on, bro, Schultz, name a guy that died. A musician that died, go.

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  It's, he just died. And people know him, so it's either music or two musicians.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  He's not a musician, he's a musician that died.

• 1:08:14Speaker 06

  I wrote the guy from The Stone Roses, cause I forgot his name, but I feel like that's partial points.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  The Stone Roses?

• 1:08:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  I've never.

• 1:08:20Speaker 06

  Rock band.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  Is that?

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Who's that?

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  It's like some local band.

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  Oh, it's better than you?

• 1:08:25Speaker 06

  Some local band.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  Didn't, um, didn't Janet Jackson die?

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Why you trying to kill Al by Queens, bro? Come on, Janet? I don't think Janet Jackson died.

• 1:08:36Speaker 06

  Just ignore him to death like Al.

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:08:40Speaker 04

  Alright, you want it?

• 1:08:41Speaker 03

  Shifty gets points. The answer is Quincy Jones.

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  Oh, Quincy Jones died this year?

• 1:08:46Speaker 02

  Also, didn't David Bowie die this year? Oh, no.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  No. That was seen?

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  D'Angelo.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  That was years ago. Yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  D'Angelo was a good one.

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  D'Angelo, fuck.

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  How does it feel? How does it feel? Shout out D'Angelo.

• 1:08:57Speaker 05

  No one gets points.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  No one gets points.

• 1:08:59Speaker 05

  Quincy Jones died in 2024.

• 1:09:01Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  Take that. He should get some credit for D'Angelo, yo.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Ozzy Osbourne would have been a great answer.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  He died this year.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Ozzy.

• 1:09:08Speaker 04

  Ozzy's the highest.

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:09:10Speaker 05

  You would think also second would be Brian Wilson, but his... He doesn't have that many streams compared to his band.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  From the Beach Boys.

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  Beach Boys.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  Alright, you want sports? Ozzy.

• 1:09:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  Sports.

• 1:09:21Speaker 04

  I'm into it.

• 1:09:21Speaker 05

  He really thought he was cooking with this shit.

• 1:09:26Speaker 04

  I'm having fun. I'm having fun.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  This'll be on Patreon. It'll be on Patreon, don't worry. It'll be on Patreon.

• 1:09:31Speaker 04

  Ew.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  I really did think that. What do we have time for? I really did think that. Yeah, come on. No. No, I wanted to... Oh, we got... It's a 10-minute clock. Come on, let's go. Is there anything else y'all want to talk about?

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  This is on Patreon. This is on Patreon. I understand. I just want to make sure within the last 10 minutes that we talk about everything we want to talk about. That's fair. There was... Maybe there was another thing that we were gonna talk about. I mean, there are many other things.

• 1:09:57Speaker 05

  This app is ending right at the 10. I don't care if you're mid-sentence, it's cut.

• 1:10:01Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  Miles, Miles.

• 1:10:03Speaker 03

  He's angry.

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  You can't speak to us like you speak to Alex and Williams first, okay? You're not gonna be a commanding, powerful individual here. We might go to overtime, okay? There might be an overtime in this episode.

• 1:10:14Speaker 05

  I'll turn the fucking lights off.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  There might be an overtime. We might go dark. Go dark. We don't care. Think we need these lights? That's true. I do. Alright, we got New Yorker of the Week. We got some Gen Z boomer school shit we can put you on. Yo, I need... I feel like I'm... I feel like I spend enough time online that I'm nice with the Gen Z shit. Alright. I feel like it's probably impossible for you guys to surprise me with any content whatsoever. That's this, G. Do you know about this? Say the color on B.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  Can we?

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  Blue, pink, blue, pink.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  Blue, red, tan, oh.

• 1:10:54Speaker 02

  Pink, green, pink, green, pink, green, pink, green. I'd say blue. Fucking idiot. Green, purple, green, purple, green, purple, green, purple.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  Purple, red, purple, red, purple, red, purple, red.

• 1:11:09Speaker 02

  Green, blue, purple, green, pink, red, blue, purple. Come on, bro. So this is what y'all do? You wanna level it up? This is, this is what y'all do? This is what your generation? This is the next group of people are gonna lead America? I'm truly discouraged by this.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  Chair, chair, pear, pear, pear, chair, pear.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Go, you got it, Al.

• 1:11:35Speaker 02

  Bear, pear, pear, chair, pear, pear, pear, chair.

• 1:11:40Speaker 02

  Pear, bear, bear, pear, pear, chair, pear, chair. Shoot Mark, y'all.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  Bear, pear, chair, pear, pear, pear, chair, pear.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  Bear, pear, pear, pear, chair, pear, bear, chair. I killed that motherfucker.

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  Alright, last one.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  Bubble butter.

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  Bubble butter, bubble, bubble, bubble butter, purr butter.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  Butter, bubble, bubble, bird, butter, butter, bubble, bird.

• 1:12:13Speaker 02

  Bubble, bubble, bubble, bird, baby, bird, bubble, butter.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  Butter, bubble, bath, baby, butter, bubble, bath, baby.

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  Garbage, butterfly, bath, bubble, bubble, bath, bath, bath. Yeah. You can't keep throwing in new ones that I don't know what they are. Come on. But this is like, you guys hang out together and do this? It's fun for y'all?

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, like that generation is cooked, bro.

• 1:12:38Speaker 04

  I've only ever seen David and Mark.

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Y'all should eat like Thai pods or something. At least we were doing fun shit.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  But I'm trying to understand, like, what is, how does this come to be?

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  You react to it on TikTok, is how the kids are doing it.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  So you show yourself doing it, you share it, and then everyone shares it.

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Just like we just did.

• 1:12:57Speaker 02

  But like, would you do it with your friends as a collective?

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  This not happen at the coffee shop?

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  No, we did it today in the office and it was quite fun.

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  Was it?

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I enjoyed myself.

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  Surprising.

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  Okay. I enjoyed myself.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  What else has Gen Z got?

• 1:13:11Speaker 03

  Can we do New York of the Week? Cause I'm...

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  I need just wait one more little Gen Z action.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  Alright, this one came from Shifty, alright?

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 1:13:20Speaker 03

  He's actually Gen Z though, he would know.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't know this one.

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  That mean he don't feel confident about it.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a little nervous. I don't know this one.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  He's a little nervous.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  I don't know it, I don't know it. That's the only thing, so I'm not gonna be able to explain it as well. Shifty, do you wanna explain?

• 1:13:33Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, I got no mic.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  This is poppin' in Atlanta right now.

• 1:13:36Speaker 07

  Yeah, so in Atlanta, there's this joke where these girls were like posting their food in restaurants. But for some reason in Atlanta restaurants, it's so dark for no reason. So all these girls using their flashlights to take videos. So people started making these like jokes where it's super like dark for the food. And then it turned into just being low exposure jokes.

• 1:14:00Speaker 07

  People at home, I'm sorry.

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  Hey, can I be honest? This shit making me not wanna have kids. Like if this what they're gonna grow up doing, I'm good. I don't want my kid acting like this, thinking this is fucking entertaining.

• 1:14:10Speaker 07

  What'd you start with?

• 1:14:11Speaker 03

  We getting fun shit, homophobia.

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  Fun, hilarious.

• 1:14:14Speaker 07

  Racism, but it's fun.

• 1:14:16Speaker 03

  It's racism, fun, hilarious. The essence of this podcast.

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  This is what is happening in Atlanta. The Falcons literally just posted this today. Coke body, losing weight, EBT, Section 8.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  There's no way.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  Not something.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  No way. The Atlanta Falcons football franchise.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  That's from the official Falcons account.

• 1:14:44Speaker 07

  People are calling it Cheek and Alfredo music.

• 1:14:46Speaker 02

  Do you wanna do the pod in Atlanta?

• 1:14:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:14:49Speaker 02

  They call it the pod in Atlanta? Nah.

• 1:14:54Speaker 02

  Atlanta Pod.

• 1:14:56Speaker 01

  This is what's happening with the kids, bro.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  This is what Gen Z is doing.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, man. Shout out Gen Z. We got time for New Yorker of the Week.

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  We got time.

• 1:15:06Speaker 02

  I just need something to cleanse my palate.

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  New Yorker of the Week, we got a couple suggestions, alright?

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  I'll let the person that submitted this say why.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  He's lost all confidence in everything. It's alright, Mark. Nah, this looks fun.

• 1:15:21Speaker 08

  What do you have on this?

• 1:15:30Speaker 02

  I love this guy.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Didn't work.

• 1:15:34Speaker 08

  This is incredible.

• 1:15:35Speaker 02

  Who suggested that one?

• 1:15:37Speaker 01

  That was Joey.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  I liked it. That guy's good. Y'all ever have that belt buckle where you can put words on it? It was LED buckle? I never bought it, but I'm familiar with what you're saying. I had, that's what, that reminds me. What words did you put on it? My name, mainly. That's it? Anything else? No, it's just my name. Alex, would you like to chime in on this at all?

• 1:15:56Speaker 06

  Every time he opens his mouth.

• 1:15:58Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 1:15:59Speaker 06

  I'm scared of whatever accusations.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:16:02Speaker 06

  We have three minutes left.

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  You're making your coworkers afraid? That is, that's not fair.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Do better.

• 1:16:11Speaker 02

  That's not fair, dude. That's not fair. What's going on? I'm totally fine with you guys being friends as long as there's no like hooking up. And if you guys do that on your own time, it's totally fine. But if, you know, Shifty catches you and he tells me, it is what it is. What the ops, bro? It is what it is. It is what it is. Shifty, you told me that Miles cleaned the little tomato sauce off of her cheek. Said you guys were together and Miles did one of these with the napkin. He was like, mm, mm, you got a little something on her cheek. That's cute.

• 1:16:40Speaker 06

  That must have been someone else, it must have been me. It must have been another blonde friend of his.

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  There's a microphone you gotta use. I know it's a little cephalic for you. Oh, here we go. Here we go.

• 1:16:50Speaker 01

  So this is.

• 1:16:50Speaker 02

  Now we're talking! Another suggestion for New Yorker of the Week. Isn't that the new journey?

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  Local friend of mine, the legend, Lil Pete.

• 1:16:57Speaker 09

  You know, there's this group of college kids there and they really love watching my videos. So I sent them the ticket link along with my phone number so they could buy tickets to come and watch my show. The next day, I got a call from one of the kids' mothers. And she was like, "You sold my son tickets to your show." I was like, "Yes, ma'am, I did." I said, "But don't worry, the show has not sold out yet. And I would love nothing more than for you and your entire family to come and watch me live." She was like, "My son is never coming to see your filthy show. I've seen your videos online, and you are bad, bad." That's right, baby.

• 1:17:40Speaker 09

  Yo, Lil Pete, that boy a bad man. Now let's get this fucking money, baby.

• 1:17:52Speaker 09

  Let's fucking get this money, Pete.

• 1:17:55Speaker 03

  I love that, yo.

• 1:17:56Speaker 09

  Let's get this money.

• 1:17:57Speaker 03

  God bless. That's New Yorker of the Week.

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  That's gotta be New Yorker of the Week.

• 1:17:59Speaker 09

  It's not even a question.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  Lil Pete's a legend, bro.

• 1:18:02Speaker 09

  Yo, Lil Pete the goat.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Accidental Dice Clay is what we call him. Somebody, Rowdy, calls him in the biz, you know what I mean?

• 1:18:11Speaker 09

  Do we have a call? Yo, Mark, what's up, my brother?

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  Yo, Lil Pete, what's up, baby?

• 1:18:16Speaker 09

  Lil Pete.

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  Yo, I'm doing excellent, bro. I have great news for you.

• 1:18:21Speaker 09

  Tell me, what's up?

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  You are officially the flagrant podcast New Yorker of the Week, bro. Congratulations.

• 1:18:26Speaker 09

  Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  You're New Yorker of the Week, bro.

• 1:18:31Speaker 09

  Yo, you're on the podcast live right now, Pete. That's fucking awesome, bro. That's fucking awesome. Put your guido voice on. Pete, Pete, you're on the pod right now. You're live. I'm on the pod right now? Yo, you guys are my fucking favorites, bro. Yo, we thank you. Shout out to fucking everybody over there.

• 1:18:46Speaker 03

  Thank you, my brother.

• 1:18:47Speaker 09

  Yo, we love you, man. What are we, what are we gonna do about these Muslims, bro?

• 1:18:50Speaker 01

  Hold on, wait, what? Wait.

• 1:18:54Speaker 09

  Aw, man, feed him some fucking Boba Ghanoush and fucking let it fucking take itself out on him.

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  Come on, Pete.

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:19:06Speaker 09

  Give him some bad shawarma, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:19:09Speaker 01

  Yo Pete, you been at the strip club lately?

• 1:19:13Speaker 09

  Uh, once around Halloween, yeah.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Oh, nice. You meet any baddies? You meet any baddies at the strip club or what?

• 1:19:20Speaker 09

  I picked up a six foot baddie. I gotta send you the pictures of us eating that fushimi. We were taking pictures by the Christmas tree.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck you, Pete, let's go.

• 1:19:29Speaker 09

  She's taller than you and Andrew. She's bigger than both of you guys.

• 1:19:34Speaker 09

  She's a good person, though. She's a good person.

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  Yo, is it, is it true that you had to fight your mom's boyfriend?

• 1:19:42Speaker 09

  Yeah, I knocked him out and everything. I almost went to jail.

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  Wait, why? Why? What happened?

• 1:19:49Speaker 09

  It was over a pint of ice cream. He was like, you should have got the $2.99 deal. I was like, get the fuck out of my house.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  What was the flavor?

• 1:19:56Speaker 09

  And he's like, I'm not leaving. No, so like two days later, he, he had filed a police report. And two days later, I'm just getting home from work. There's a knock at my door. It's the cops. My mother's like, yo, do you have to put the handcuffs on? The guy's like, oh, unfortunately, ma'am, yeah, we do. And, um, but she was the only witness. She was the only witness. So she killed his case, you know?

• 1:20:18Speaker 01

  There you go. Now, what flavor was the ice cream?

• 1:20:22Speaker 09

  Okay, cannoli flavored Ben and Jerry's. Fucking delicious. It's not worth getting your fucking head cracked open, but it's good. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  That's funny. Yo Pete, we love you, dog. Yo.

• 1:20:38Speaker 09

  Well, I love you guys too, man.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  Yo, congrats, New York of the week.

• 1:20:41Speaker 09

  I woke up this morning, right? And I had a follow from Burt Kreiger on my phone. I'm like, yo, what's going on? I sent it to Row and he was like, oh shit.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  Cause you're popping, bro, that's why. It's happening, my boy. It's happening. Accidental Dice Clay, the legend.

• 1:20:56Speaker 09

  Aw, man. Bro, let me know when to do the Flavoring Podcast. I will be there.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  Well, you, you are doing it right now.

• 1:21:03Speaker 09

  Oh, I'm doing it right now. Even better. Yo, Merry fucking Christmas, yo.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 1:21:10Speaker 09

  To everybody.

• 1:21:10Speaker 01

  What am I talking about, Pete?

• 1:21:12Speaker 09

  Even the fucking, even the Muslims.

• 1:21:15Speaker 09

  Even though they don't celebrate that shit.

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  Yo, God bless you, bro. Love you, dog. I'll see you soon. Love you, buddy. Thank you, Pete.

• 1:21:21Speaker 09

  All right, cool, cool.

• 1:21:22Speaker 01

  Oh, the legend, Little Pete. Oh, I love him. Shout out Little Pete, dude. He's the best, dude. We might need Little Pete to pull up, bro. We might need to. We might need him to do the weather.

• 1:21:33Speaker 02

  We got a weather segment with Lil Pete once a week.

• 1:21:37Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  We have our weekly weatherman.

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  Geopolitics expert.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:21:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta give him a little segment.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  Something.

• 1:21:45Speaker 02

  Anyway, guys.

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  Who won the game, by the way, Joey? Do you know what the final scores were?

• 1:21:49Speaker 07

  Akash won with 320 points, followed by White Elephant.

• 1:21:52Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 1:21:54Speaker 02

  Good job, y'all.

• 1:21:55Speaker 01

  We did it.

• 1:21:56Speaker 02

  Good job.

• 1:21:56Speaker 04

  I thought we were supposed to get each other gifts.

• 1:21:58Speaker 02

  Did you get, did you get gifts?

• 1:22:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did.

• 1:22:00Speaker 02

  Oh, what'd you get?

• 1:22:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  Should we do, should we do the gifts on Patreon?

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  No, fuck that. We're doing it now.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Do it now!

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  I want everyone to know.

• 1:22:10Speaker 04

  You'll enjoy it.

• 1:22:10Speaker 01

  We going to overtime for the gifts?

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  You'll, you'll enjoy it.

• 1:22:13Speaker 01

  In overtime. No, I think we gotta do the gifts on Patreon now.

• 1:22:17Speaker 02

  Oh, alright.

• 1:22:19Speaker 02

  Sorry, guys.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  It gives us time to buy something.

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, then we can go run and grab stuff.

• 1:22:24Speaker 01

  Alright, Patreon.com.

• 1:22:25Speaker 03

  Is that for everybody? Is that, you got one thing for everybody or one thing for?

• 1:22:28Speaker 04

  I thought we were doing White Elephant.

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  Yo, we love y'all, man. Peace.

• 1:22:31Speaker 04

  Peace.

• 1:22:32Speaker 01

  Peace.

• 1:22:34Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists, for long distance love. For introverts and extroverts, the thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:23:04Speaker 08

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.