The Akaash Singh Situation Just Got Worse

This week the boys let Akaash & Jasleen tell their side of the story… and it spirals into absolute madness. Everything is explained, from rosters, to frat parties, to ducking kisses, happy endings, and much much more. All that on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 00:00 Akaash’s side the story 00:48 ?????? 1:25 Frat parties & popping that p***y 3:31 Roster of guys + Buffalo Chicken Wraps 7:00 Good gold digger + “It’s not Miu Miu” 10:44 Jasleen like ball STANK 11:15 Ducking the kisses + THE SWERVE 17:40 Positivity doesn’t get rewarded + Orgy discussion 21:28 Akaash is allowed happy endings 22:49 “Your day is full of work” + Value of outsourcing 24:58 When Akaash is sick… + Women built different 27:43 Akaash’s birthday + Fleeing to India 33:31 Committing to the bit + Akaash’s mom involvement 36:16 Is this a PR stunt? Signing post-nup 36:59 Ayesha Chicken Curry… + Zaddy 39:11 Sore b**t hole, Dermatologist + Rose toy 45:46 Innocence & Perception 47:40 Experiencing love + Stop spending! 50:47 Breaking up + Betting to stay together 54:57 Ducking the kiss + Legal Happy Endings 59:13 Bidet vs Rough white + Sh*t himself 1:04:26 How was Thanksgiving? Hit 2m subs This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  What are you waiting for? Hop on.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  This is the way. Our only chance is to work together.

• 0:46Speaker 03

  I like this kid.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Always wear your seatbelt.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu, now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13.

• 0:59Speaker 04

  Tonight on Flagrant, the truth will be revealed. Marriages will be shattered, friendships destroyed. Nothing will be the same again. Our guest, once a beloved comedian, has spent the last couple of weeks being destroyed, disrespected. He's been dragged through the mud and he couldn't even take out that tiny little [BLEEP] of his and stuff it inside for his own pleasure. Give it up for our friend here to tell his side of the story. Akaash Singh.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  Brother, thank you so much for being here.

• 1:40Speaker 05

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:41Speaker 04

  You can't imagine what you've been going through the last few weeks. Tell us, what's been on your mind? What's been on your heart?

• 1:46Speaker 05

  I'm so glad you asked me, man. It's been, it's been really hard for me, for me. Hard for you? Oh my God! Oh my God!

• 1:52Speaker 06

  Jacqueline Singh is in the building! She wants vengeance! Security is here! Security is stopping her! The full charge, new power! Oh my God, she's abusing the security! But, but, it's absolute pandemonium! They're getting us here! Akaash has brought out a comically large pair of scissors! He's turning them down! Oh my lord, Jess Lee, this is a podcast like a frat house. What are you doing?

• 2:18Speaker 07

  I'm the king!

• 2:19Speaker 06

  Stay back. Tonight on Frat House.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  Let's just get right into it.

• 2:26Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Which frat party should my daughter avoid?

• 2:30Speaker 04

  I have a two-year-old daughter. Which frat party should she not go to?

• 2:34Speaker 07

  Shy should avoid Teak, because they definitely... Why?

• 2:40Speaker 04

  They make you pop that thing crazy.

• 2:42Speaker 07

  No, it's gonna be like Spike the Drink.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  No way.

• 2:45Speaker 07

  Yeah, so they got kicked off of our campus.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  No way.

• 2:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Oh my lord.

• 2:50Speaker 08

  Popping pussy.

• 2:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 08

  Yeah, let's just get some definition.

• 2:53Speaker 07

  I...

• 2:53Speaker 04

  We're gonna, any terms that you might need to know the actual meaning of, Alex is here to break it down.

• 2:59Speaker 07

  To be fair, I thought it was just like dancing, getting dressed up, and maybe that was my mistake.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:06Speaker 07

  So I acknowledge that.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  Look at this.

• 3:08Speaker 08

  Big one.

• 3:08Speaker 07

  Yeah, the act of getting dressed up, looking fly as hell, wearing a minimum of three-inch heels, preferably higher, and dancing your ass off into the wee hours of the morning. That was what I was doing.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is white people's definition of it. This is what you learn.

• 3:21Speaker 08

  Don't go to Urban.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Guys, what do you think popping pussy is?

• 3:30Speaker 08

  You see?

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Joey Currie's ain't is not that, okay? They're doing more than security here.

• 3:38Speaker 07

  That was my bad, that was my...

• 3:40Speaker 04

  That was, that was your bad.

• 3:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, that was my...

• 3:41Speaker 04

  I'll go to the real Urban Dictionary.

• 3:42Speaker 08

  Just give me a call every time.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  Anytime you're worried about...

• 3:45Speaker 08

  Gotcha. Yeah, that's what I thought, as a white, I thought popping pussy was just dancing. I thought it was like twerking.

• 3:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's what I thought, okay.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  Well, I knew that that's what you meant.

• 3:53Speaker 07

  Yes, that's what I meant.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  But like, once the internet makes you a whore...

• 3:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  They're looking at... Joe, Joe, Joe, we're talking...

• 4:00Speaker 08

  This is our friend's wife.

• 4:01Speaker 07

  That's my wife, you know, for now.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  That's my wife? That's my wife for the time being.

• 4:05Speaker 07

  It's him. What's going on?

• 4:08Speaker 04

  We have a Kelsey market, by the way. We have a Kelsey market. There's a Kelsey market that's been made, will Akaash and Jess Lee divorce before 2027? I just want to point that out, okay?

• 4:18Speaker 07

  2027?

• 4:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, you guys got to go there.

• 4:20Speaker 07

  We have like a long way to go.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, we gotta, we gotta go there.

• 4:24Speaker 04

  We're trying to, we're trying to rebrand you right now, Jess Lee.

• 4:28Speaker 08

  Okay, give us some...

• 4:29Speaker 04

  I gotta wait that long? Can we get some other definitions out of the way? Yeah, let's get some other definitions. Allegedly, and you can correct me if I'm wrong here, is it true that you said that there was a rotation of guys? A roster. Roster. Yeah, what does a roster mean to you? What does this mean?

• 4:43Speaker 07

  You guys have to understand, have you ever heard of the repressed Catholic school girl?

• 4:47Speaker 04

  Never.

• 4:48Speaker 07

  I was, yeah, I did know.

• 4:50Speaker 04

  His Catholic school was in his living room. Imagine how repressed he was.

• 4:54Speaker 07

  I was the repressed Indian girl that I didn't even watch Jersey Shore in high school because I felt it to be too inappropriate. So when I got to college, I'm like, oh my God, I can dress however I want. I can do whatever I want.

• 5:08Speaker 04

  You can have a roster of frat boys. What does a roster mean?

• 5:11Speaker 07

  So it didn't actually translate to a roster. It just meant like two guys I was talking to and flirting with at the same time. That's it.

• 5:17Speaker 04

  That's all.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  And when you say hooking up, I think people think you meant fucking.

• 5:21Speaker 07

  What I mean hooking up, I just meant making out. Again, like everything I say is so amplified and hyperbolic because it's so like incongruous to who I'm actually, who I actually am as a person.

• 5:32Speaker 04

  Right, right. So you're saying you're a big old prude?

• 5:34Speaker 07

  Yeah, literally.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Now, I will be honest, as much as I was heartbroken by what was going on with you guys and definitely with, you know, Akaash, my brother, there was a little part of me that was like, it would be hilarious to come in here and find out you had a huge roster and was lying about being a virgin this whole time. It would have been heartbreaking for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you waited your whole life to share your virginity with a girl and she threw it to some frat house 20 years ago.

• 5:59Speaker 05

  A white dude.

• 5:59Speaker 04

  A white guy! A fucking white guy! Got that shit, got that shit. Don't slap five there, that's bad. Okay, okay, so no, so no real roster?

• 6:09Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  Because what a roster is, what is a roster, Al? Yeah, what's a roster? What was a roster like?

• 6:14Speaker 05

  Urban dictionary, Indian dictionary, right?

• 6:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Turbin dictionary.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  Okay, Al, what is a roster, Al?

• 6:25Mark Gagnon?

  So, a roster is a rotation of partners that you would, they would pop their pussy for me.

• 6:32Speaker 07

  No, okay.

• 6:32Mark Gagnon?

  That what a roster would do.

• 6:34Speaker 07

  I didn't mean like-

• 6:35Mark Gagnon?

  Women on my roster would be popping their pussy.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Oh, I don't even like you saying that word hard enough.

• 6:41Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, and that feels uncomfortable. With all due respect.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  With all due respect, Al, thank you.

• 6:45Speaker 05

  No, no, no, this is a good lesson.

• 6:47Speaker 07

  This is a good lesson.

• 6:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:49Speaker 07

  Okay, that's not what I meant.

• 6:50Speaker 05

  Remember the black substitute teacher in King Peal? That's that right now. He's really explaining things to you.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  Any other questions about the world that you have?

• 6:57Speaker 07

  No.

• 6:59Speaker 04

  Also, why Buffalo Chicken wraps every day?

• 7:02Speaker 07

  Me?

• 7:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:03Speaker 07

  How do you know that? You posted it on the internet.

• 7:06Speaker 04

  Wait, I don't know this one. Is that when you call the black guys? No, no, no. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Guys. Okay.

• 7:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, she calls that a Popeye's chicken sandwich.

• 7:17Speaker 04

  Okay, wait, tell us, what is the Buffalo Chicken wraps?

• 7:19Speaker 07

  No, it's just literally, I would just order Buffalo Chicken wraps every day for dinner.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  That's it.

• 7:23Speaker 07

  I think, I think where the confusion was, is like, I was just talking about this nostalgia for being in college, when it's like, you're still a child, but it feels like you're in the adult world, and like, you're so insulated, and you're in this bubble, and like, everything's just so simple and easy. And that's more what I was talking about.

• 7:41Speaker 05

  And now everybody thinks you're a gold digging whore.

• 7:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:44Speaker 04

  Yes, that is, there's a lot of people.

• 7:45Speaker 07

  I'm working hard on reaching excellence.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  You're a professional here. You're doing security, okay? We cannot laugh at him calling his own wife a gold digging whore, okay?

• 7:55Speaker 05

  She told me to shut up, it's even.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  That is fair, okay. Also, like, in terms of the gold digging.

• 8:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  Like.

• 8:04Speaker 05

  Serious.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Do you, do you, uh, do you consider yourself a good gold digger?

• 8:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:12Speaker 07

  Because I invested low and waited for it to go high.

• 8:16Speaker 04

  You're a gold prospect. Yeah, that's not a gold digger.

• 8:19Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're like a, um, hmm, what is that? You're like a hedge fund manager. Yeah, you're like Akaash with Bitcoin.

• 8:25Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 05

  She bought much lower than I did.

• 8:30Speaker 05

  She bought at the bottom, dude. He could not have bought lower.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  That is something that, that is.

• 8:33Speaker 07

  But to be fair, it's like, I was working too, in the beginning.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  One of us was working.

• 8:38Speaker 07

  And you weren't, yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  What were you doing?

• 8:39Speaker 07

  I was, I worked at, I, when we met, I worked at Goldman Sachs. I got a job at Deloitte after I graduated college. I was a consultant.

• 8:47Speaker 05

  Sleeping in till 12:00 a.m. or 12:00 p.m.

• 8:49Speaker 07

  I worked in data analytics.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  Right, yeah.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  You're a gold digger. Yeah. You got the gold digging right here, bro. You got this girl sleeping on the grounds?

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know, this whole thing backfired.

• 8:58Speaker 07

  I was paying rent.

• 8:59Speaker 04

  I used to really believe that you guys were poor with his sob stories, so we could get Patreon going. I didn't know you were working at a fucking hedge fund this whole time he was spending your money.

• 9:07Speaker 07

  Well, I wasn't making that much. I was making like, 70 grand a year on, in New York City, on two people.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  But that's good, though.

• 9:13Speaker 07

  Yeah, it wasn't bad.

• 9:14Speaker 04

  Okay, so then, when did you guys get really broke? And why'd you stay with him?

• 9:18Speaker 07

  2018, okay, do you want the real answer or the funny?

• 9:21Speaker 04

  I want, I want to know the real answer. And like, I want to know that, because I heard this beautiful story that Akaash told about you guys sleeping on the floor. And then like him wanting to give you his north face or something. And then you gave it back because you're like, "It's not mu mu."

• 9:35Speaker 04

  "I'm not sleeping in your face." "You saved your money and gave me mu mu. Now I'll sleep on the floor with mu mu."

• 9:42Speaker 06

  It's 2009, I'm dressed in a north face.

• 9:46Speaker 04

  No, but you guys were sleeping on the floor because you were evicted from your apartment and you were moving to New Jersey. Right? This is real. And you still wanted to stay with him.

• 9:54Speaker 07

  Yeah, I mean...

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Why?

• 9:58Speaker 04

  I never actually asked, why? No, you know why, bro. Come on.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Got that muffin top.

• 10:06Speaker 08

  Yeah, you got that loud, yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 07

  Okay, the real answer?

• 10:11Speaker 04

  What is loud?

• 10:12Speaker 08

  His dick smells.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  Because once you... Yo, Kirk.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  Guys, guys, you guys are professional security.

• 10:21Speaker 08

  What if that breaks out?

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Come on, you need to make sure. Okay, no, but for real, you got a stink dick husband sleeping on the floor. Like, what's wrong with you, man? Like, you're supposed to be a gold-digging whore according to the internet.

• 10:33Speaker 07

  That's what I'm saying. There was like so many red flags early on.

• 10:37Speaker 04

  But why'd you stay? That's stupid of you.

• 10:39Speaker 07

  Okay, I stayed because I felt like as soon as I met you, it was love at first sight. I loved you, like, I don't know, I just felt like... And maybe like you feel like that when you guys met your wives or your fiance. It's like, you just like know when you have that special connection. It's like, okay, like God picked this person out for me. And like everything he did from top to bottom, like his character, his integrity, his personality, like, I just like loved everything about it. So I was like, okay, like, I don't want to just leave because we're going through a hard time. Because I really believed in like his potential, like just like you did.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 11:12Speaker 07

  You know, because you, obviously you were more successful than Akaash, like in the very beginning and stuff. And now you guys...

• 11:20Speaker 04

  I also believe that he was incredibly brilliant and talented, but also just an amazing soul and an incredible person.

• 11:25Speaker 07

  Exactly, but I just know, I also knew that about him, that he had like ambition and this work ethic. So I was like, okay, like, so we're gonna go through this bumpy time, but I was like praying harder than I ever prayed, just that we would get out of it and like something would resolve. And I was just hoping that.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  And it worked. Those prayers worked.

• 11:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:43Speaker 04

  And you have him prayed, prayed for his balls to change smell.

• 11:46Speaker 07

  I never prayed for that.

• 11:48Speaker 04

  It just shows me that you might like it. It's like Vegemite for Australia. Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's an acquired taste. Women are bigger than pheromones. Yeah, there is a way that that just kept you in it. Yeah, something primal.

• 12:01Speaker 07

  Maybe, yeah, it's possible.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Carnal smell.

• 12:05Speaker 05

  Why you guys said carnival smell?

• 12:08Speaker 05

  What's that about? Why you doing that to me?

• 12:10Speaker 04

  That's a carnal.

• 12:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, what is that?

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Carnival smell would be better. It'd be like funnel cake. It'd be nice. Okay, the other thing that we saw these videos of was the ducking the kisses. That was, those are, listen. These ones piss me off.

• 12:22Speaker 07

  That I'm guilty of. I'm guilty of that.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  These ones piss me off, and I didn't like it one bit, and I need you to explain yourself to me. Yeah.

• 12:27Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, we need to know.

• 12:29Speaker 07

  Honestly, I, I didn't.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  Also, can I just say that I would watch the videos and I would die laughing. As a friend who loves him, I would die laughing. Cause they did it, they edited it so perfectly where like he's going in and then.

• 12:44Speaker 04

  But he's already got his lips pursed, so he gotta commit to the kiss. Yeah, we gotta check that out to Shifty edit right there. Shifty might have been editing those. Shifty made it. Shifty? Chef. Anyway. Those piss me off. So tell us about the duck. Do you always duck his kisses when they're not people around?

• 13:01Speaker 07

  No, not when there aren't people around, just when there are people around. And I never even knew.

• 13:06Speaker 05

  That's worse.

• 13:11Speaker 07

  I didn't know.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  Explain yourself.

• 13:12Speaker 07

  I didn't know that I did that.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Tell us why.

• 13:15Speaker 07

  I didn't know that I did that, so I really sat and thought about it. So I think it's a few things. I think it's like.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  You really sat and thought about it?

• 13:21Speaker 07

  Yeah, cause I was like, okay, maybe it's like the repressed Indian girl thing where it's like I get a little bashful. I do get a little shy despite what the internet thinks.

• 13:29Speaker 05

  Most Indians do. I'm the exception.

• 13:31Speaker 07

  Yeah, I think I also get overstimulated because Akaash does it a lot, like every 30 seconds, like a little bit.

• 13:41Speaker 06

  I get it now, just leave. I get it. That's why I grabbed your chin so you couldn't. I didn't move my face though.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  You're showing me your mic.

• 13:49Speaker 08

  Show us the mic check.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Give me your mic. Who's mic? Mine? Oh, sorry. Okay, yeah.

• 13:53Speaker 08

  I suck that off you.

• 13:56Speaker 04

  Okay, so, so it is a little bit overstimulating for you.

• 13:59Speaker 07

  Yeah, it like regulates him, but it kind of overstimulates me. And like, the videos people have seen are like the proposal videos, they're like already overstimulating.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  Okay, so, so here's the thing that I think is like, very relate, I think the relatable thing is not wanting to make out with your partner in front of your entire family.

• 14:14Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  But most people just do it because they're like, oh, I don't want my partner to feel embarrassed in this moment, even though they're like, ugh. And you're just like, you just feel the ugh.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  But, but I do think it is, I, I do think it's relatable though to have that sensation of like, I don't want to be intimate around my like, brother, sisters, or mom, dad.

• 14:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, exactly.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  I think that is, I think that's relatable to people.

• 14:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  But, most people just do it and then do a quick one. Like, my wife will just give me like a quick smooch.

• 14:44Speaker 07

  But we never saw our parents kissing ever, so it's like so foreign to us.

• 14:48Speaker 04

  This is an, this is an interesting thing that a lot of the internet might not understand, but it's like, your family, your parents were not like romantically in love at all. And would you say yours?

• 14:59Speaker 05

  You could cut romantically.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  Were they both arranged? Were the marriages both arranged? And sometimes arranged marriages, it's a free golf, they love fucking all the time.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 08

  Probably.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Probably.

• 15:12Speaker 05

  But they don't show us. Even kids don't see it.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 15:15Speaker 08

  Thank god.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:18Speaker 05

  Our kids are gonna see it.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  They're gonna see it?

• 15:20Speaker 05

  Now, especially the internet has shamed her into not ducking, so.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Oh, now she got no excuse.

• 15:24Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's true.

• 15:25Speaker 05

  Me one.

• 15:27Speaker 08

  There we go.

• 15:28Speaker 07

  She too.

• 15:29Speaker 08

  Well, can we settle something for the internet?

• 15:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:33Speaker 08

  Will you kiss Alka-Sch right now?

• 15:35Speaker 04

  I don't even know if I want to see it.

• 15:37Speaker 08

  On the lips.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 15:38Speaker 08

  Groove everybody.

• 15:40Speaker 07

  But it's gonna dress like that.

• 15:41Speaker 05

  Bring that ass over here.

• 15:42Speaker 08

  Yeah!

• 15:46Speaker 06

  How's it feel? How's it feel? How's it feel?

• 15:55Speaker 06

  Oh shit!

• 15:56Speaker 05

  My dick.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  It was overstimulating. It was overstimulating. Cross his leg. Shows or show? I've won on the books. There's one single one, guys.

• 16:08Speaker 05

  We back.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  March 28th, 2026, Providence, Rhode Island. Okay, it's part of the Rhode Island Comedy Festival. We will be out there. We will see you guys for a very special night. Again, this is the only date that is on the books. Yes, I might be popping into these comedy clubs in New York City. Yes. The rumors are true, I might be up in there and out of there, yes. But as far as the road goes, this is the one that we have booked. I'll see you guys, Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th, 2026. That's all.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  Also, guys, we're adding shows all over the place. Thank you, guys, for helping me support my gold-digging wife. We have a fifth theater show in Toronto that we are adding. Thank y'all so much, that's fucking incredible. Sixth show in Irvine that we're adding this Sunday. Uh, we also announced Radio City. Oh, we're also adding a show, there's a casino date. Foxwoods Casino, January 24th, the day after the Wilbur. I'm excited, that's gonna be in Mashantucket, Connecticut. All those dates and a bunch more, akassing.com. Radio City, still got tickets, let go cop those. I love y'all, thank y'all so much.

• 17:07Speaker 08

  Hello, people. My name is Mark, I'm gonna be on the road. I'm going to Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm also going to Chicago, Hoboken, New Jersey, Salt Lake City, Washington DC, to be announced, and Charlotte. And then, of course, we're doing our show every month in New York City at Mary Lou. We're doing it on December 16th, it's a great time, and I will see you.

• 17:23Speaker 05

  Why does it say Washington DC to be announced? This is TBC.

• 17:26Speaker 08

  Yeah, we got the ticket link, it's, uh, you know. We're adding shows, probably, they're gonna be sold out, it's gonna be a big theater, maybe an arena. I don't know, we gotta talk.

• 17:33Speaker 05

  So your website, you're announcing dates with no link?

• 17:35Speaker 08

  Yeah, we gotta see the, yeah, just, you gotta keep the people waiting, or wanting.

• 17:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm just curious.

• 17:40Speaker 08

  Always leave them wanting more, right? So, whenever we add this arena, I'll see you guys at the show. God bless you all, and good evening, night.

• 17:47Mark Gagnon?

  You didn't expect to see me here, but I too have an announcement. I'm launching my new show, AM Mornings. We're live every Sunday at 11.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  7 Eastern it's called it's a call in Yes Where we discuss the biggest topics what are you doing to me? I'm kidding I'm supporting you What do you think? I don't blame him I'm not saying anything They're doing little sign signals No no one's doing anything just keep going off the dome It's a call in show where we discuss the biggest topics of the week

• 18:12Speaker 06

  Join us and have your say Here's the catch There's no anonymous trolling No hiding behind an anime avatar If you got something to say you better show your face

• 18:23Speaker 04

  Bitches

• 18:23Speaker 06

  Every Sunday at 11 AM Eastern Peace

• 18:27Speaker 04

  Oh my god Okay Listen that was heartbreaking for me Now I'm feeling for Jesse what an asshole this guy is To humiliate his wife in front of millions and millions of people

• 18:38Speaker 07

  It was an act

• 18:41Speaker 07

  But can I just say there's so many

• 18:43Speaker 04

  Yes tell us

• 18:43Speaker 07

  TikToks where I talk so positively about him and like

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Yeah but why does that why that doesn't go viral? Positively talking about people

• 18:50Speaker 07

  Yeah but I was just saying I like found so many TikToks where I was saying so many amazing uplifting things but they didn't grab on to that

• 18:57Speaker 04

  That will never the internet will never reward positivity

• 19:00Speaker 07

  Yeah that's true

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Lesson learned

• 19:02Speaker 07

  Lesson learned

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Well that is that is the tricky thing but it is it is a weird thing it's like when you share your life like as a couple publicly

• 19:10Speaker 07

  Yeah

• 19:10Speaker 04

  With the world you know and Rough You guys have like you guys have like idiosyncrasies that are kind of different from a lot of couples

• 19:19Speaker 07

  Yeah

• 19:20Speaker 04

  You know what I mean like Apparently Bruh Mm-hmm The orgy thing was fucking that shit was crazy I even watched it and I was like so break us down I need an explanation Has the orgy happened?

• 19:29Speaker 07

  So okay no no it hasn't happened

• 19:31Speaker 04

  No I still only fucked one woman That's that's what I thought was

• 19:38Speaker 04

  That's what I thought was missing in the whole orgy combo is that he also gets to get some side I could have doubled my body count Yeah Now would you have let him get some side in this hypothetical orgy?

• 19:47Speaker 07

  Yeah of course everyone should be included

• 19:53Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, Akaash wants the dude.

• 19:55Speaker 07

  The dude?

• 19:55Speaker 04

  You think he can handle all tenants? Is it Naf? Do you can take Naf down? Or is Naf taking it?

• 20:02Speaker 05

  Come on, Naf shorter than me, who taking it?

• 20:04Speaker 04

  Oh!

• 20:07Speaker 04

  Naf the bottom, his dick dragging on the carpet.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  Like industrial. Shout out Naf, bro. Shout out Naf, you fucking homewrecker.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  Okay, what the fuck was that joke? I think for a lot of people, myself included, like I saw that and I was like, why would she even joke around about that?

• 20:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  With Akaash there and like, what was the?

• 20:29Speaker 07

  No, I-

• 20:30Speaker 04

  What was the backstory to that?

• 20:31Speaker 07

  Now, looking back, like it's been pointed out to me and I get that, I feel like for us, I think I learned so much of my humor from Akaash, not to like justify it, but just to explain like, oh, if I say these absurd things, it's so funny because it's not who I actually am.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Right.

• 20:47Speaker 07

  But I kind of forgot that like the internet doesn't know all these multi dimensions of my personality, so they're just seeing this one thing.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 20:54Speaker 07

  So the orgy joke started with like Akaash being like, oh, Naf's really hot. Like Naf would, Akaash would show Naf's picture to his trainer or whatever, because he's like really like, yeah, ripped or whatever.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  I will say also, if she had a body count, I would have been like, eh eh eh eh eh. Cut, cut it. But because she doesn't, and I know how like innocent she actually is.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  Oh, you are a virgin? That's real?

• 21:17Speaker 07

  I wasn't a virgin until I met him, yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 04

  Really?

• 21:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. Alright, good to know.

• 21:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 05

  And if she wasn't, that body count thing, I'd be like, what are we doing here?

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Hmm, right.

• 21:27Speaker 05

  Because I would have been insecure about it, but I can be, not that I'm so secure, but with that joke, I'm like so secure.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Oh, I absolutely would feel insecure.

• 21:35Speaker 07

  And I think stupidly, I was like, oh, it's an orgy, so it's all of us, it's not like talking-

• 21:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is stupid.

• 21:40Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  I see, but you're being inclusive. You're being inclusive. It's not a roti.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  No, we're not doing this.

• 21:52Speaker 05

  That is stupid, don't let me get other pussy.

• 21:54Speaker 07

  One of our, one of our fans asked us, would you guys have an orgy? So I just said, oh, I'm actively trying, like as a joke, because I just feel like-

• 22:01Speaker 04

  Can I give you a piece of advice?

• 22:02Speaker 07

  Okay, okay.

• 22:03Speaker 04

  If you clearly see that I'm the one commenting those things, you have to answer it on the podcast. If it's Andrew Schulz asking, so you guys are gonna have an orgy on the podcast? You don't have to react to that in real time.

• 22:16Speaker 08

  Akaash was lying yesterday, he was like, "It's so annoying, this whole orgy thing." Like, "I can't even cheat without her being there."

• 22:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's crazy dude. Too much quality time, let's do something separately. You know what I mean?

• 22:28Speaker 07

  But how come you can have a joke about outsourcing handjobs and blowjobs?

• 22:32Speaker 04

  But aren't you cool with the handjobs?

• 22:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  You're cool with him just getting a handjob massage?

• 22:36Speaker 07

  Totally.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  Are you ac-

• 22:38Speaker 08

  Yeah, I know.

• 22:39Speaker 07

  Yes, I've said that, it's less work for me.

• 22:42Speaker 05

  I don't, this is, I don't-

• 22:43Speaker 08

  Can you talk to our wives?

• 22:44Speaker 05

  I don't believe this. You can't tell you why I don't believe this. Do you remember Horrible Decisions?

• 22:48Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 22:49Speaker 05

  Where she was, you guys were like, "Dude, I think your girl will be down." We should keep saying how pretty Wheezy is. And I was like, even then, I was like, "No the fuck." She's all tough, she's all bluster. That's why I haven't tested the handjobs.

• 22:58Speaker 07

  A paper tiger?

• 22:59Speaker 05

  She's a, she's a, yeah, fucking, she's our dog. She's a yapping little dog behind a fence, nothing's gonna happen, there's no bite. All bark, no bite.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  So you would say that, but in reality, if he actually did go get it-

• 23:10Speaker 07

  Okay, like, let me think about it, if you actually did go get it- Yes, like, I think it would bother me like 30%, but I feel like 70% would be like, "Okay, whatever." I put you through a lot the past couple weeks.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Like, he deserves it.

• 23:22Speaker 07

  I feel like I owe it to you.

• 23:24Speaker 05

  I do kinda deserve it.

• 23:25Speaker 08

  Yes, and we're gonna be supporting that.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  We are so close to Chinatown.

• 23:29Speaker 08

  Mark's gonna do it.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Who could be prettier than you?

• 23:32Speaker 04

  Wait, she can't be prettier than you?

• 23:33Speaker 07

  Yeah, she just can't be prettier than you.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's not gonna, yeah, unless you go-

• 23:37Speaker 05

  That's not gonna happen.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's gonna be an old Chinese lady.

• 23:39Speaker 05

  My also, my justification for the handjob is it's emotionless, and it's a-

• 23:43Speaker 07

  It's just like a little thing after a massage. Sure, okay.

• 23:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's great, I mean, I'm on board.

• 23:48Speaker 08

  Fire.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  I also like the fact that you're, it's just less work for you.

• 23:52Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 04

  And I know your day is full of work.

• 24:04Speaker 08

  Well, let's get a counter argument. Let's get a counter argument, okay? Because I think that was inappropriate, and that was uncalled for. So, will you go ahead and dismiss this and explain yourself on the record?

• 24:14Speaker 07

  I do things.

• 24:18Speaker 08

  All right. Look, my client in this case.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 08

  Mark, can you be the lawyer?

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Mark, can you be Jocelyn's lawyer in this moment?

• 24:25Speaker 07

  Why are we celebrating?

• 24:27Speaker 08

  Jocelyn cooks, she cleans, she maintains the home on a monthly basis. Is that true?

• 24:32Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 24:33Speaker 08

  There you go.

• 24:34Speaker 07

  Not by me specifically, but yes.

• 24:35Speaker 08

  Yes, and you also will find people.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  You do, but not you. You schedule, someone's got to manage the house.

• 24:40Speaker 07

  But we all have cleaning people.

• 24:42Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  Yes, I like how you call them cleaning people.

• 24:46Speaker 08

  That was very politically correct.

• 24:48Speaker 05

  That was, that was.

• 24:49Speaker 07

  But do I not take care of Happy like he's my son?

• 24:51Speaker 05

  Of course, and I go on the road, I come back, it's clean. I don't know if you hire somebody or if that's you, but every time I come back, it's clean.

• 24:57Speaker 07

  I hire someone, yeah.

• 24:59Speaker 05

  Really? Without me knowing? Now I feel betrayed. I thought you did something.

• 25:05Speaker 08

  Everyone's hiring people, you know what I mean? Hand jobs, cleaning, doesn't matter, okay? Everyone's got something.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Outsourcing works if there's one people on the planet that understands the value of outsourcing. It should be it, and this is...

• 25:19Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay, what else? What else was like super?

• 25:23Speaker 08

  More files?

• 25:24Speaker 04

  Yes, what else is part of... Oh, they called it the Akaash files. They, they, they released the Akaash files.

• 25:30Speaker 05

  Equivalent to Epstein.

• 25:32Speaker 08

  Let's think, let's think about it as you've asked.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  You're the victim, you are the girl.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  That's what I'm saying, it's the Epstein files, isn't it?

• 25:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you're the girl.

• 25:39Speaker 05

  I know.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  She's Epstein.

• 25:42Speaker 08

  Yes, the Epseline files.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  The Epseline files, yes. Okay, what else, what else was there?

• 25:47Speaker 08

  Tell me something.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:48Speaker 08

  Because it's been bothering me.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  I love the, the, this is so good with the glasses. Great character work. I'm sorry to break it.

• 25:55Speaker 08

  Thank you.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 08

  Silence. Tell me something, when Akaash is sick, how do you behave?

• 26:01Speaker 05

  Ooh. She's good, actually.

• 26:05Speaker 07

  I am good.

• 26:06Speaker 08

  Yeah. Oh, my wife is horrible.

• 26:08Speaker 05

  There's an undertone of irritation after like day two, where you can tell she's like...

• 26:13Speaker 03

  Alright, that's what I mean.

• 26:14Speaker 07

  I mean, I

• 26:14Speaker 04

  You've got two days.

• 26:15Speaker 07

  Okay, can I just say, I feel like you guys are a little bit, like, you guys exaggerate a lot. And just

• 26:22Speaker 04

  What?

• 26:22Speaker 08

  No.

• 26:23Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  Us.

• 26:24Speaker 07

  And for context, literally

• 26:26Speaker 04

  We exaggerate.

• 26:27Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 26:27Speaker 04

  Ridiculous.

• 26:28Speaker 07

  Literally.

• 26:29Speaker 08

  Oh, you think everything's wrestling? Do you think that's

• 26:31Speaker 04

  Everything's a joke?

• 26:32Speaker 08

  You think we're just going crazy?

• 26:34Speaker 04

  We're not taking any chances here, do you see our security? We know what the fuck you're capable of, Jocelyn.

• 26:40Speaker 07

  But like, for me, like, an hour before my emergency gallbladder surgery, my stomach was killing me. And remember, I had to interview Blau for journalism school, and I still interviewed him because I didn't want to reschedule. So I feel like women are just built different. We're built to withstand suffering.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Yes, you are, that is true.

• 26:58Speaker 07

  So we don't really

• 26:59Speaker 04

  We're built to withstand y'all.

• 27:00Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 27:00Speaker 04

  That is our suffering. That is a great point. There you go. Yeah, yeah, we have different types of suffering. Yeah. Physical pain, you guys are much better at handling.

• 27:09Speaker 05

  But yeah, if you heard how often we have to hear "babe", it's very different.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  So my, did I tell you all this, that like, uh, my wife asked me to do something before I got into the apartment? She heard the elevator going up. Before I typed in the code in the elevator, I heard, "Andrew, can you?" And I just, I pushed one and went right back downstairs. I'm not doing this.

• 27:31Speaker 08

  Just go with free falls?

• 27:32Speaker 04

  I'm not doing this right now. Let me get into the fucking house before you tell me what to do.

• 27:38Speaker 08

  Look, this isn't the show's files, okay?

• 27:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, sorry, sorry, go, go, go, go.

• 27:41Speaker 08

  I sense that you're avoiding the question.

• 27:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 08

  Ooh, is it true that on August 18th, 2025?

• 27:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 08

  I don't know, I made that data. You said that when Akaash is sick, you hate taking care of him.

• 27:54Speaker 07

  Yeah. I mean, do I like it? No.

• 28:01Speaker 07

  Why would anyone like taking care of a sick person?

• 28:04Speaker 04

  That's a good point.

• 28:05Speaker 07

  Like, I'm just being honest, and maybe it is a hint of autism.

• 28:09Speaker 08

  Don't let her fool you in.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  No, she's, this makes you, I don't know why anybody would do that. It's, you know, I

• 28:13Speaker 08

  Nurses?

• 28:14Speaker 04

  Doctors?

• 28:15Speaker 08

  Doctors.

• 28:15Speaker 07

  They don't even like it.

• 28:16Speaker 08

  They're compensated.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 05

  That is, actually, they're getting paid for it. Handsomely.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Handsomely, yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 05

  And they're not that happy about it.

• 28:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, sometimes.

• 28:25Speaker 05

  You meet enough nurses, you're like, must y'all enjoy it. Y'all enjoy it. Y'all don't enjoy this.

• 28:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is one of those things. You just gotta fake it. It's like kissing your husband in public. You just gotta fucking fake it and be like, I love doing this. I love nurturing you back to health. That's what I want. Okay, then you get the big reward afterwards. Okay.

• 28:42Speaker 07

  It's like when Akaash's birthday comes around. I have to pretend that it's like so special, but it's like...

• 28:48Speaker 05

  I don't even ask for this.

• 28:49Speaker 07

  The one day, yeah, you do. The one day of the year that I have to like be totally selfless.

• 28:54Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, that I want.

• 28:55Speaker 07

  Which is really hard for me.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  You're doing a horrible job right now. Just leave. Just when we think we've gotten you out of it.

• 29:05Speaker 07

  Take that part. It's scary.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Go back in, okay? You dig the hole deeper. Okay, his birthday is a great day.

• 29:14Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  And we love his birthday.

• 29:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Which day is it?

• 29:19Speaker 04

  Okay, all right, you passed. You passed. Now, a question for Akaash. Yeah. These files leak. Yeah. The internet set ablaze. You quickly flee to India. International borders. Yeah. You go to a different nation. Yeah. Yeah. Can you explain the impetus for this trip?

• 29:36Speaker 05

  I was trying to get away from her, but she followed me.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  She tracked you down, so... Yeah, why did you, why did you guys go to India so immediately? What happened there?

• 29:46Speaker 05

  Unfortunately, we had planned the trip like two months earlier. India, Dubai with her mom, Thanksgiving with my mom. That's what whores do. They hang out with their moms.

• 29:55Speaker 05

  What a horrid thing to do.

• 29:56Speaker 04

  With convenience.

• 29:57Speaker 07

  And co a religious pilgrimage.

• 29:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  You guys went on a religious pilgrimage?

• 30:01Speaker 05

  We went to the Golden Temple, their bars.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  Did they see you and not let you in? They're like, not this frat house. Not, I wouldn't finish the sentence.

• 30:10Speaker 05

  You have to walk through water. When you get there, they actually made her roll around in the water. She's so filthy.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  They had to cleanse you.

• 30:15Speaker 05

  She's such a filthy person.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  You're good, bud.

• 30:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Okay, so you go, oh, is this the place right here?

• 30:20Speaker 05

  It was actually, yeah, it was beautiful.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 30:21Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Yes. What is this place called? The Holy Asylum.

• 30:24Speaker 07

  It's called, yeah, in Punjab, they say their barsi or the Golden Temple. It's like, cause it's literally made out of gold.

• 30:30Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, that's a lot of gold.

• 30:32Speaker 05

  You would actually really like it. Mark would really like it.

• 30:33Speaker 04

  And this is in Punjab?

• 30:34Speaker 05

  It's set on fire as soon as he walked in.

• 30:36Speaker 07

  Yeah, in Umritsar, yeah.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  Oh, wow. And then what?

• 30:39Speaker 05

  And I had never been, so we had planned this trip a while ago.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  Oh, look at this. Can anybody go in the water?

• 30:44Speaker 07

  Yeah, like you do like a...

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Miles, what racist shit are you laughing at right now?

• 30:51Speaker 06

  And your racist bullshit has no room in this court.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  That laugh right there was racism and we know it. I didn't say anything. I asked if you could go in the water. I didn't ask if we could wash Akaash's balls. That would be disrespectful. That would be inappropriate.

• 31:05Speaker 06

  Can't say that.

• 31:06Speaker 04

  Why were you laughing at that?

• 31:08Speaker 10

  It's a lot of clean water in India.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  Wait, what do you mean?

• 31:10Speaker 10

  It's just one big plate.

• 31:12Speaker 07

  That water is clean, you dick.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  It's crystal clear water.

• 31:16Speaker 10

  It's a lot of clean water in India.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  Wow, Miles. This guy is a real... Do you see who your husband hangs out with every day?

• 31:21Speaker 06

  Bad guy.

• 31:22Speaker 10

  Bad guy.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Kurt, what is going on back there, fellas? Hold it together. Hold it together, alright? Alright guys, okay, so you go to this temple. It's beautiful. You're able to pray. Is Akaash fully converted to Sikhism? No? He's getting there though.

• 31:44Speaker 05

  Yeah. She goes to the Munder probably... She makes me go more than I make her go. She's like, "We're going to the Golden Temple. Or we should go to the Gurdwara. We should also go to the Munder." And I'm kinda like, "I'm tired, dude. Let's just do one."

• 31:57Speaker 04

  But which one would you do?

• 31:58Speaker 05

  I would do the Munder.

• 31:59Speaker 07

  Over the Gurdwara? But you get free food at the Gurdwara?

• 32:03Speaker 05

  We do get free food.

• 32:04Speaker 07

  Yes, you have longer. Mark knows. He just did a video.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, we had the food at your wedding. That was great.

• 32:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:10Mark Gagnon?

  Golden peanut butter stuff.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  What was it?

• 32:12Speaker 07

  Which part? Oh, the prashad?

• 32:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:15Speaker 07

  It's brown sugar, ghee, and flour, like mixed together.

• 32:20Speaker 05

  She's actually made it, non-cooking ass bitch.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  You can make that?

• 32:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Really?

• 32:28Speaker 07

  I make ghee, which is like kajabi brown meat.

• 32:32Speaker 06

  You can't say this with all due respect, please.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  You gotta say it with all due respect. I guess it's your wife.

• 32:36Speaker 05

  What's on the internet? I was right about everything. Golding a whore of a woman.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  Okay, so you can make all these things. You can make all these things.

• 32:46Speaker 05

  So you're presenting this, this version of yourself online that's not true.

• 32:50Speaker 04

  But you're actually a trad wife.

• 32:52Speaker 07

  I was committing to this bit because I thought that that was the funny thing to do. But I'm not a comedian, obviously.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  You're not fooling us.

• 33:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Alright. Alright, let's, let's rank Asian people. This is not for a while. Don't, don't do it.

• 33:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, don't, yeah.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  Don't do it. Okay. Some of these questions she might answer and then she might get in trouble in a different way. Can I ask you a question?

• 33:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 33:17Speaker 04

  Black people. Okay, no, not that question.

• 33:19Speaker 05

  I don't know if you remember this, so this is, but people always say like that Mondies and stuff will say she's just like my mom. And I'm realizing, what, you remember my mom, you ask her anything and she'll be like, no, I don't want to answer that. And then she'll answer. I'm realizing she does the exact same thing. Maybe that's why they get along so well, but if you ask these questions, she will answer.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  That's inappropriate. Your mom hit me up when you, your mom hit me up when you guys were going through it.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, dude, she was.

• 33:41Speaker 07

  I know she told me, she's like, I texted Andrew. I told him my daughter-in-law is so nice. And so sweet, I was like, oh my god.

• 33:54Speaker 04

  She's like, I promise, she was a virgin, I promise. And I was like, I'm not getting involved in this at all. She's like, I know, I can smell it. I was like, what is that? We held up the sheets. This was PR. But she was, she was working, she was working PR for you, I just want to let you know. But I never doubted it. I never doubted it.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  She was gonna type a comment on the YouTube, she had it, sent it to me.

• 34:16Speaker 07

  A long one.

• 34:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, a long one, I was like, you don't need to do all this.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was probably the best.

• 34:20Mark Gagnon?

  What do you guys say, some people say this is a whole PR stunt for you to sell tickets and for you to.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  Who is that?

• 34:26Speaker 07

  I would rather it be a PR stunt, yeah.

• 34:30Speaker 04

  I would love it. Is that a, is a narrative?

• 34:33Mark Gagnon?

  Yeah, I saw that.

• 34:33Speaker 05

  Oh, that, now you're.

• 34:34Speaker 07

  I saw a couple of videos of saying it's like a very strategic PR stunt. I don't know how.

• 34:39Speaker 05

  I wish I cared that little about my wife's reputation.

• 34:44Speaker 08

  Lean in, lean in. Say you're gonna kiss at Radio City.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  Mmm.

• 34:47Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kiss reveal. Kiss reveal at Radio City. We sell out Radio City. We will make out hardcore.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  April?

• 34:54Speaker 05

  Eighteenth.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  Eighteenth.

• 34:55Speaker 08

  Now we're talking.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  April eighteenth.

• 34:56Speaker 07

  If you sell out Radio City, I'll sign a prenup, a postnup.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  A postnup!

• 35:01Speaker 05

  Okay, fire. Into this. I'm into this.

• 35:03Speaker 08

  Have you seen any memes or content that you guys thought were funny?

• 35:07Speaker 07

  Uh, Ayesha Chicken Curry.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  That was good.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  Yes, we gotta go through the funniest ones.

• 35:12Speaker 05

  Objectively good.

• 35:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:13Speaker 07

  I also like Ayesha Curry.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:17Speaker 08

  Yeah, that's right.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Dig in the hole again, just like, dig in the hole.

• 35:23Speaker 08

  I can see your point. I can see your point.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  What about, what about Jada Pinkett Singh?

• 35:28Speaker 07

  That one hurts a little, but it's funny.

• 35:30Speaker 04

  Okay, what other ones were good?

• 35:32Speaker 08

  I thought Jisleen was hurtful. I didn't like that one at all.

• 35:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, that is not.

• 35:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, Jisleen, I mean, unfortunately, not the best.

• 35:37Speaker 05

  Why are you laughing? Because she told me, she goes, every time she said it, she'd go, "They're calling me Jisleen!" And it really hurts my feelings. But she couldn't say it without laughing every time.

• 35:49Speaker 07

  The red dot table talk was good, too.

• 35:52Speaker 04

  Red dot table talk was good.

• 35:54Speaker 08

  I saw a funny one that was, actually, I thought it was very disrespectful. Not funny at all. It said, uh, "Call her daddy," more like "Call center daddy."

• 36:02Speaker 05

  That's good. That's really good.

• 36:04Speaker 08

  Unfortunately, that's pretty good. So, cheers.

• 36:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:06Speaker 08

  But it still pissed me off.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  I saw one with you making out with the dog.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  And they were like, "Man, she'll kiss the dog and not Akaash."

• 36:18Speaker 07

  That's true, yeah. I do, yeah. I never, I never touch, kiss.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  Now, would that have something to do with the fact that there's no romantic connection between you and the dog?

• 36:29Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:31Speaker 07

  He's my child. He's my son, so don't think about it, you know?

• 36:33Speaker 04

  So you would smother your son with kisses?

• 36:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  That makes sense, because it's not romantic.

• 36:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  But when you kiss Akaash, there's like, real horniness about it.

• 36:40Speaker 08

  Yeah, like, he's daddy.

• 36:41Speaker 07

  I think it's just like this.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Akaash is daddy or what?

• 36:44Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 36:44Speaker 07

  Zaddy.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  Ooh. What's his favorite position?

• 36:49Speaker 08

  Oh, you guys got a lot of fun.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  You'll have to answer. Yo, fellas, you'll have to answer.

• 37:00Speaker 08

  I kinda, I kinda wanna know.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  See, guys, this is how comfortable... Well...

• 37:07Speaker 07

  No, I won't say.

• 37:10Speaker 06

  No, I got to turn his cheek.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  Okay, was there, before we wrap this up, was there anything that you saw? Was there anything that, like, obviously, all the things, I imagine, made you feel bad. Was there anything that specifically bothered you, or, yeah?

• 37:27Speaker 07

  I mean, I think people talking about the sore butthole story.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 07

  Because that was more kind of like an assault story, but I didn't want to label it as such because I didn't think it was super traumatizing, and I had already shared one.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Right.

• 37:42Speaker 07

  And I feel like the internet has a quota for girls of like how many assault stories they could share, regardless of if it's true or not. Like, obviously, I didn't-

• 37:50Speaker 04

  You think the internet would be like, "Oh, every story she tells, she's getting assaulted."

• 37:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's what I didn't want to do. That's why I was like, "Oh, this happened." I didn't really say, "It's okay."

• 37:58Speaker 04

  So what happened, if you don't mind saying?

• 38:00Speaker 07

  Well, I mean, so, I was living in San Francisco, working on my internship.

• 38:06Speaker 04

  Definitely a butt thing would happen there. Not shocking at all.

• 38:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:10Speaker 07

  I, this is like when Tinder first came out. There was no Bumble, there was no Hinge. I met this guy on Tinder, whatever. Like, we were, like, just feeling like the vibes, and I stupidly was like, "Oh, you can sleep over," but like, not really wanting to hook up that much, because again, for me, like, I was just like, "Okay, maybe we can make out," and just like, whatever, and cuddle. But then, I guess he, like, wanted-

• 38:31Speaker 05

  Was this guy Indian?

• 38:32Speaker 07

  No, he was like Asian.

• 38:34Speaker 05

  He took it very differently than, yeah. I've learned this translation.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Wait, what do you mean?

• 38:38Speaker 05

  An Indian guy might understand what an Indian girl means when she says, "We're hooking up."

• 38:41Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 38:42Speaker 05

  It doesn't mean we're fucked.

• 38:43Speaker 04

  There's something conservative.

• 38:44Speaker 05

  I think most American people are like-

• 38:45Speaker 04

  I was thrown off by her inviting him over. Because when I've been invited over, that usually means, "Oh, we're fucking."

• 38:51Speaker 07

  No, I know. That was, again, stupid decision on my part. I was like 21, and so it's like, I really just like, I don't know, like, I just was making bad decisions all around. So it's like, but I was like, "Okay, like, we'll kiss, whatever." I don't remember, honestly, I don't even remember too much, but I just remember him, like, trying to, like, sneak a finger, and I was like, "No, no, we're not doing that."

• 39:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:15Speaker 07

  But like, then the next day, like, it was like, kind of feeling sore, but it wouldn't, and like, if it had been anything else, it would, you know, that would have been a whole other story. It would have been like, you would have teared something, you know?

• 39:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 07

  So it was just like that.

• 39:27Speaker 08

  This was a creep pervert that was trying you. And the internet ran off with this crazy narrative of something completely different.

• 39:33Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:34Speaker 08

  Yo, security, you gotta find those guys. Yeah, we gotta get them.

• 39:38Speaker 05

  I would love that.

• 39:41Speaker 05

  Can I beat this guy up?

• 39:42Speaker 07

  Yeah. No, you can't.

• 39:43Speaker 08

  You can take him. Yeah, outsource.

• 39:46Speaker 07

  We can outsource.

• 39:47Speaker 08

  Yeah. Get the rose to his head, you got it.

• 39:52Speaker 08

  Capacitate him.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  Anything else? What other things popped up?

• 39:56Speaker 08

  We gotta get it all out.

• 39:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, we need to get it all out. We need to purge this. And I'm not gonna be happy till we've figured it out.

• 40:00Speaker 05

  Oh, the dermatologist video.

• 40:02Speaker 08

  That would piss me off. That was outrageous and completely uncalled for.

• 40:07Speaker 04

  So tell us why you were showing your cheeks to the guy and asking if he's single.

• 40:11Speaker 08

  He was a single Indian doctor.

• 40:12Speaker 07

  Can I just give the whole lore? Okay, looking back, I get it. It was stupid. I was being stupid, okay? Well, we all make mistakes. But, just to be clear.

• 40:23Speaker 08

  Good point. Technically, we do.

• 40:24Speaker 07

  Yeah, so what happened was I actually fell in Pilates class. I fell on my ass. Me and Akaash happened to have an amazing, romantic weekend together.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Where?

• 40:34Speaker 08

  What position? Hold on.

• 40:38Speaker 07

  This is in New York City, just whatever, enjoying life. And maybe we had just gotten the rose toy too, so it was like also really fun.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  What's the rose toy?

• 40:48Speaker 07

  Oh, Andrew, it will change your life.

• 40:50Speaker 08

  What's the rose toy?

• 40:51Speaker 04

  This is inappropriate. Is it a toy for sexual things?

• 40:53Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, it makes things very easy and efficient.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 40:56Speaker 08

  You'll never have to go down again.

• 40:58Speaker 07

  But it's not kind of true.

• 40:59Speaker 08

  This is Akaash's like massage parlor.

• 41:02Speaker 05

  This is my outsourcing.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  You are an enigma, though.

• 41:04Speaker 08

  Whoa.

• 41:07Speaker 04

  No, no, no. Like, you're so, what? What? Why? That's a word, right?

• 41:13Speaker 08

  I know, it's just the energy is great. The hard energy.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  You're gonna leave with that?

• 41:22Speaker 04

  The Hard R Hotel, dude, that was a lot. Okay, an enigma. Okay, um, oh god, it shows it going in.

• 41:29Speaker 05

  It ended with a A, so it's different.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, what is, oh! Chill out! There's a woman here!

• 41:36Speaker 05

  Not that, no, not that. We already used that one, nothing goes inside.

• 41:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, just that one, yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Okay. Yeah, you don't have the cigarette lighter attached to it. But you're comfortable sharing this.

• 41:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  But then there's other things you're not.

• 41:46Speaker 07

  Because I also feel like this could help girls out. You know, I'm on an SSRI, so sometimes you need like a little boost, so why not?

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Yes, this is, but this is why I think that there's confusion. Because to feel comfortable talking about that, but then also not feel comfortable with certain sexual things. That's where the brain goes, what, I have to make up something?

• 42:04Speaker 07

  I don't know, it's hard for me, I mean, I just am existing, I'm not trying to like, the only thing I try to do is just be myself on TikTok, but like 10 times extra. And again, like, not to justify it, but I feel like...

• 42:17Speaker 05

  Well, go down it two times.

• 42:18Speaker 07

  I've been with that guy since I'm 22, and I feel like I've learned so much of my humor from him, my personality from watching you guys, I've hung out with so many comedians, so I'm like, oh, like, be extreme, be funny, as long as your actions are a good person, you know what I mean? So I'm like, oh, I can say whatever I want.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Don't you blame this on us.

• 42:35Speaker 07

  No, you're right!

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Don't blame this on us, Jasmine.

• 42:37Speaker 07

  I'm just trying to give context.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 42:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, I mean, I'm not blaming anybody.

• 42:41Speaker 04

  Fair enough. Okay, so you were saying you guys had a really horny weekend with your toy?

• 42:44Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 42:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 42:45Speaker 07

  And so what happened was, as a joke on TikTok, I showed the bruise, like, not, like, I didn't show my full ass cheek, but I just show a little bit, because again, like, repressed Indian girl, I'm like, oh, I can dress however I want, as long as I don't actually do anything. So I'm like, okay, you know, show, tell me you had a good weekend with your husband without telling me, showed the little bruise. Rishi, who's my dermatologist and my brother, amazing, like, practitioner, he was like, I've gone to him for hyperpigmentation, it really bugs me, and he's like, hey, I just want to let you know, if you don't treat this, this is gonna pigment. And then he knows he's gonna have to deal with me later, like, please, can you get rid of this scar? So he's like, I would just treat it like ASAP or whatever, so I'm like, okay, perfect, I'll come in. And then, again, me being stupid...

• 43:29Speaker 07

  Like, cuz I wanna go on double dates, I'm like, oh, he's single. And I'm like, having like, this like, tongue in cheek thing of like, kind of alluding to me and Akaash having sex, even though I actually fell in Pilates. So the whole thing was taken out of context.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Sorry, bro.

• 43:43Speaker 04

  I never said I had strong dick. That's fair. This is really, if anything, farming for me. That's fair.

• 43:47Speaker 07

  But did that make more sense, like, to the context?

• 43:49Speaker 04

  Yes, of course, but at the same time, the issue is always like...

• 43:53Speaker 05

  People's perception.

• 43:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  Yes. I think the big disconnect with you is like... And also, there's a version with both of you, is it... You guys are so fucking innocent, cuz you've never been with anybody. So when you say weird sexual things, you think it's absurd.

• 44:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:09Speaker 04

  But you are unique in your innocence with each other.

• 44:13Speaker 07

  I think that was a mistake I made, is like, thinking that people would understand that.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  They will not.

• 44:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, they won't.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Because the immediate reaction to anybody like, who's had... Cuz Alex and I, Mark is more similar to you guys. And let, you know, he's been with his wife, right? So it's like, whereas Alex and I have, you know, we've had other chicks, and like, our, you know, wives have had as well. And then, we gotta think about that a little bit. You were the horse. Wait, what? Yes, yes, yes, yes. We were horse, yes, exactly.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  But like, so then, we're... There is a part of us probably comparing and feeling insecure, and maybe feeling potentially inadequate.

• 44:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Right? So that runs through our minds, where you guys have been with nobody, so you can feel confident being...

• 44:57Speaker 05

  And I think, to be fair to everyone, there was a time in our relationship where I would have been more insecure, but when like, she's essentially homeless with me, and didn't go anywhere, and stayed right by my side. I think the jokes don't bother me, cuz it's like, when you're broke as fuck, you see exactly who a person really is. Like, I've seen her at her core, good, bad, all of it. So I know who she is enough that none of these things are gonna... I'm ever gonna take seriously, because I've seen her, we've been at the absolute botch. She's seen me at my absolute worst. So if I make these jokes, if I call her a bitch or whatever, she's like, I know this. Like, at our absolute worst, we still loved each other, we still stayed by each other's side. So I think that's what I didn't realize also. And I didn't think I was nearly famous enough to become a meme.

• 45:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 05

  I was wrong.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  That is beautiful. Now, is... With your guys' relationship, like, neither of you come from these like, loving marriages, right? Is it...

• 45:50Speaker 04

  Is it cool to experience love? Is it what you think of when you see in movies?

• 45:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  What is that? I'm curious what that's like, you know? I was very privileged. Like, my parents were really in love with each other, and that was kind of my expectation. You guys discovered it for the first time.

• 46:05Speaker 07

  Yeah. It's so funny, because I was literally talking to my therapist, and I think I was kind of getting tearful because I was thinking about my mom and everything that she went through in her marriage, which obviously wasn't great, and like just immigrating to this country with like two little girls, and like just so many things that she had to go through that I was like, I feel so bad that she had to live this life, but now I get to live this like beautiful, luxurious, glamorous life with this guy who like treats me like a princess. And then my therapist was like, yeah, but in a way, it's so beautiful because you're kind of living like her American dream.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 46:38Speaker 07

  So it's like, I really, and I really think that for Akaash too, because I know that my mother-in-law was also in a similar kind of situation. And I feel like for us, we really got so, you know, lucky to like find each other and find our like soulmates in each other. I wish that my mom, who's like the most amazing lady in the world, could have experienced that, and maybe, you know, she'll kind of experience that like later in this chapter, but yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  No, it's beautiful. It is. It's what your parents sacrificed. You guys can have this kind of stuff.

• 47:10Speaker 07

  Exactly, yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  You know?

• 47:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  And, um...

• 47:12Speaker 05

  And I truly, like, again, I think that's it. She actually realized it faster than I did, but now I'm like, oh, that's my soulmate. So again, the jokes don't bother me. I know what's happening. And go buy the best. I like encourage her to buy stuff early on, because I remember...

• 47:24Speaker 04

  You gotta cut that shit.

• 47:25Speaker 05

  That may be. But early on, dude, and you didn't go through this?

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Chill out.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Being broke with your girl and not being able to buy her anything is so fucking emasculating that when we started making a little bit, we saved for years.

• 47:39Speaker 05

  Yeah. And when she, she was like, I don't know if we can afford this, we can afford this. I'm like, no, I promise we're safe. She was more anxious for a long time. I was like, no, this is like, I think even therapeutic for you, for us. Like, go spend it.

• 47:51Speaker 07

  Yeah, it would almost like teach me like a little bit of exposure therapy. I mean, now probably not, but like in the beginning...

• 47:56Speaker 05

  Not definitely not.

• 47:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's really like, oh, it teaches your brain, like, okay, this is safe. I can do this activity. Like, just like how posting on TikTok was and like whatever else. But I mean, now, yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  But it is interesting that you're gonna have a different relationship, you know, to the money that Akaash makes when you guys were locked in before you had anything.

• 48:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  You know, and you will feel more part of that journey with him.

• 48:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Than like if Akaash is this fucking multimillionaire and then he like finds you and then you have that attitude. But what the internet just sees is a completely different picture, which is like, okay, he's got this beautiful girl and she like buying bags and that's what the thing is.

• 48:33Speaker 05

  No, optically it makes sense that she would be a gold digger. She's much hotter than me.

• 48:36Speaker 04

  No, stop saying that. You're fine, bro.

• 48:39Speaker 08

  You're the prize, alright? You're the prize.

• 48:41Speaker 05

  I look decent with a shirt on.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  That's not a good point.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  Anyway, listen.

• 48:48Speaker 08

  In the interest of turning all the stones, can you dispel a rumor? I heard a narrative online that you guys were together and then you took a break for like two years and then when you started making money, you came back. Can you dispel this?

• 48:58Speaker 07

  No, we took a break for like a month or two months.

• 49:02Speaker 05

  After I started making money, post Patreon. What an idiot.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  Who leaves my time for money?

• 49:07Speaker 05

  He had a different confidence when he was real, right?

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was telling you to shut up more.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  No, I get 12 shut the fuck ups a year.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  Oh, that's the rule?

• 49:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  It's a great deal.

• 49:16Speaker 05

  I got eight left. Happy holidays.

• 49:23Speaker 08

  Alright, I feel like we've done a pretty good job here.

• 49:25Speaker 04

  Listen, we love you guys. I mean, obviously it sucks what, you know, what happens. But um, I hope everybody who watches, I mean, the internet is gonna do whatever the fuck the internet wants to do. But I hope if anybody actually does watch, they get a better idea of, you know, your guys' relationship. And I hope you go moving forward, you understand how different your guys' relationship is from most people. And like, sometimes the reactions they have, not every reaction is, oh, they're completely off.

• 49:49Speaker 07

  Right.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  They're just reflecting what they would be in a relationship and going, oh, I would feel uncomfortable.

• 49:54Speaker 05

  It's their experience and our experiences are abnormal.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Some guys are bad actors, obviously. And then some people are going, what the hell is going on? There's like, I love Akaash. Like, what is happening?

• 50:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 50:02Speaker 04

  And um, but yeah, I'm stoked that you guys got to come on and uh, you know, I hope you, I wish you well. I'm betting on you guys staying together.

• 50:08Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 50:09Speaker 04

  Yeah. So 2027, I got money on that.

• 50:11Speaker 05

  I'm gonna throw that.

• 50:12Speaker 08

  What are the odds, right?

• 50:16Speaker 04

  Anyway, thank you so much for coming, Jesslyn. Love you guys so much.

• 50:19Mark Gagnon?

  Thank you, thank you guys.

• 50:21Speaker 04

  Guys, listen. Hair jobs? Yeah. You have an absolute permission slip to do this.

• 50:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think I do.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  You know something else that's funny? Some of your wife's lip gloss is on your ear, which means she ducked the fuck out of a kiss. In the elevator?

• 50:41Speaker 05

  No, that's when I ducked the kiss.

• 50:42Mark Gagnon?

  No.

• 50:43Speaker 04

  Oh, that's when you ducked it, that's a boy! We back. Play no fucking games. We back.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  You didn't tell her you were gonna do that shit, huh?

• 50:53Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Because she was surprised. She's like, "I shouldn't do that anymore."

• 50:58Speaker 05

  There you go, lesson learned.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  What was I gonna say? Oh yeah, so she literally said you can just do it. And she seemed quite serious, like she was remorseful for what you've been put through.

• 51:07Speaker 05

  What she put me through.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, no, I gotta use this now.

• 51:10Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 51:10Speaker 05

  Let's line up patrons, let me know a good spot.

• 51:14Speaker 04

  Yes, this is a public episode.

• 51:17Speaker 05

  And public, let me know a good spot. Y'all heard her, it don't matter.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  We were talking about this, you didn't say where, right?

• 51:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think I wanna go to a place where it's legal, cuz I assume the women will not be just old and Asian.

• 51:28Speaker 04

  Yep. Nah, nah. I mean, what do you want? Do you want the best one, or you want the hottest girl? Yeah, this is actually an interesting.

• 51:35Speaker 05

  I need that Venn diagram crossover.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  You want a girl that's hot enough, but she's incredible at the skill.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:40Mark Gagnon?

  Wait, are you going eyes open or eyes closed?

• 51:43Speaker 04

  It depends. Yeah, if they're Asian. Or wait, what was the?

• 51:47Speaker 05

  Wait, what is eyes closed the whole time? You're blindfolded?

• 51:49Mark Gagnon?

  Cuz I just figured like.

• 51:50Speaker 04

  You're like falling asleep and just nodding the bottom of your chin.

• 51:54Mark Gagnon?

  When I'm getting a massage, it's like I'm eyes closed the whole massage, and now it's just an extra part of the massage.

• 51:58Speaker 05

  No, they turn you over halfway through.

• 51:59Mark Gagnon?

  I still go eyes closed. I don't open my eyes. You go like this, looking up the whole time?

• 52:04Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:06Speaker 04

  But also, if a girl's jerking you off, do you look directly into her eyes?

• 52:09Speaker 05

  I think it depends on how she looks. Right? If she's attractive, I'm soaking this up.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Do you ask for her attention? Do you like, are you like?

• 52:17Speaker 05

  No, no, no, you gotta focus. I'm looking at you. I'm an Indian guy, but it's staring.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  So you just?

• 52:23Speaker 10

  Just laser beam the side of her head. Yeah.

• 52:27Speaker 08

  I've heard that the, the older pros are actually better.

• 52:30Speaker 10

  Of course.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  You've heard?

• 52:31Speaker 05

  Ah, I feel like they'd have less, less.

• 52:33Speaker 04

  We've heard this room.

• 52:34Speaker 08

  I have a friend, he's a connoisseur.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 52:36Speaker 08

  He goes on, uh, what is it, tug maps? And he knows all the places, he knows all the.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  Why you look at my eyes real quick?

• 52:42Speaker 10

  He lives, he lives in a specific neighborhood because they're closer to the things.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Really?

• 52:48Speaker 10

  Yes.

• 52:49Speaker 08

  This is a close friend of mine.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  Put us on a group text.

• 52:52Speaker 08

  I will.

• 52:52Speaker 05

  I'm like, I like this guy.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  You got close?

• 52:54Speaker 10

  Do I know him?

• 52:55Speaker 08

  No, you don't know him. Nah, you might have met him in passing, but I don't think you know him.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  He goes to the coffee shop?

• 53:00Speaker 08

  Nah.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 53:01Speaker 05

  I wish, y'all. I'd be there tomorrow morning.

• 53:05Speaker 08

  But he's got the spot, he's got the spot. Apparently the, the pros are professional.

• 53:08Speaker 05

  Really?

• 53:09Speaker 08

  Oh yeah, they just, you won't last more than seven seconds. Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  We had it all like normal.

• 53:15Speaker 10

  We had a friend in college do this and they, but he bet he could last like more than forty-five seconds or whatever it was.

• 53:20Speaker 08

  Yeah, we challenged each other to do a duel.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  We, wait, what?

• 53:23Speaker 10

  No, we paid for him to go get a rub and tug and he went and got the rub and tug and came out defeated. He was like, it was like.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  How long?

• 53:28Speaker 10

  Uh, he said it was under a minute, like easily. Like it was just magic.

• 53:32Speaker 08

  We did the over under on a minute. We had the, we had the Kowski spread, we had the whole thing.

• 53:35Speaker 05

  Do they massage you first? I'm not, I'm too Indian to just get a hand job. I need a massage, a good massage.

• 53:40Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, all inclusive.

• 53:41Speaker 05

  Oh, that's, that's nice.

• 53:42Speaker 08

  It's all inclusive.

• 53:43Speaker 10

  But like from start of, of hand, end of job was.

• 53:47Speaker 05

  Hey, if you had to go through these last three weeks, you wouldn't be jealous. It's all good, dude.

• 53:52Speaker 08

  Let's just see after the massage, how you feel.

• 53:54Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 53:55Speaker 08

  You know what I mean? Let's just see. You get on the milking table, you get on the milking table, dude, you're fucking out of here. All of a sudden you'll be like, you know what, it was all, it was all worth it. Your boy got milk, dude.

• 54:04Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 54:04Speaker 08

  It was fun.

• 54:05Speaker 10

  Yeah.

• 54:05Speaker 04

  I like this shit.

• 54:06Speaker 10

  Yo, this is awesome.

• 54:08Speaker 04

  He got gla- gla- I don't know.

• 54:10Speaker 08

  Yo, stop glazing me, bro. Stop fucking glazing me. And from the top, go ahead.

• 54:14Speaker 04

  Your hand, the way you use the glasses as a prop is excellent.

• 54:18Speaker 05

  Oh, I, the snap, it's the snap.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, like it's, yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  Fold this one in and you're like.

• 54:24Speaker 08

  And you point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. My old teacher did that.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  He, he practiced this shit in the mirror.

• 54:30Speaker 08

  Seen it.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  Yo, he the whole practice in this shit.

• 54:35Speaker 08

  I remember he was YouTubeing how to play NBA games. This fucking nerd.

• 54:39Speaker 10

  My wife's knocking on the door, I'm like, I need ten minutes. I'm shitting.

• 54:45Speaker 08

  I'm on the bidet, trying to get in character, okay? Doing tricks on it, sideways.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  You have a bidet, Nino?

• 54:51Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude.

• 54:52Mark Gagnon?

  We're all bidets.

• 54:53Speaker 08

  We all have bidets except you.

• 54:55Speaker 04

  I'm trying to get that toto that automatically opens and closes. I like that rough white, man.

• 54:59Mark Gagnon?

  You have it.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  I like a rough white.

• 55:01Mark Gagnon?

  Not at the new crib?

• 55:02Speaker 04

  You are, which you wipe your ass with. Yeah, for real, man. I like a rough white. Like, I want to feel that shit bunch up.

• 55:07Speaker 08

  He'll send me wiping memes and the shit, I don't even understand the joke.

• 55:11Mark Gagnon?

  He sent us a picture of him shitting his pants.

• 55:13Speaker 08

  What the fuck?

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:14Speaker 08

  Yo, what the fuck was that?

• 55:16Mark Gagnon?

  Is it group chat?

• 55:17Speaker 08

  What in the ever fuck was that, Lili?

• 55:19Speaker 04

  So, get that picture up.

• 55:21Speaker 08

  No, no, we're not putting the people through this.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  This is like last week.

• 55:25Speaker 08

  You crossed the line with that.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  Last week at the cellar, right? Or two weeks ago at the cellar. I come out of, there's a room called the, uh, the lounge. At the fat black pussy cat, the lounge. I come out of that room and, uh, I do a signature public fart display.

• 55:42Speaker 08

  On stage.

• 55:43Speaker 04

  No, not on stage. I walk out of this door, now I'm in like this little vestibule with the security guards and everybody like that. Then I walk out and I spread my legs like this. And I, and I do a fart and I go, "Brrrrrrrrrr". And then the end it goes, "Papap". And I go, "Ooh, that was weird." Right? And everybody like heard the fart, some people grossed out, some people laughed, whatever like that. I go on stage.

• 56:07Speaker 08

  Everyone was grossed out.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  I go on stage and I'm like, "Ooh, my ass feels cold for some reason." And I'm like, "Oh, no." I must have shit myself with water. And now I'm feeling the water get cold.

• 56:23Speaker 08

  It's not water.

• 56:24Speaker 04

  Well, it's doo-doo at the time, liquid. At the time? Liquid. It turns into water later. No, it turned into more of like an acrylic paint.

• 56:32Speaker 08

  Jeez.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  I go downstairs before my next spy, I was at the VU, the Village Underground. And I go to the bathroom, I take off my jeans, I take off my underwear and there is just like a paste of shit, like a Bob Ross.

• 56:43Mark Gagnon?

  I can't even see that shit.

• 56:44Speaker 08

  Turn that off.

• 56:45Mark Gagnon?

  When you put that in a group, I was like, "Nah, this is too much."

• 56:47Speaker 08

  This is my challenger.

• 56:48Mark Gagnon?

  Like, this is bad.

• 56:49Speaker 08

  Yeah, dude.

• 56:50Speaker 04

  This is my challenger. The worst part was that he said it.

• 56:53Speaker 08

  Look at the color of it, though. It's a really fascinating color.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  It is.

• 56:56Speaker 08

  Did you eat a crayon? Like, why is it that?

• 56:58Speaker 04

  It does have that look to it.

• 57:01Speaker 05

  Look, zoom in was unnecessary. The zoom in was a lot.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  So I just threw most underwear in the garbage in the bathroom.

• 57:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:08Speaker 04

  And then I just, I just kept on doing my shows like a real soldier. You about to throw up.

• 57:12Speaker 08

  Yeah, actually, it was like, this is pulling on my Adam's apple. And I was fucked.

• 57:17Speaker 04

  Wait a minute, what would you do if you were in my situation?

• 57:19Speaker 05

  You have to do that. No, we had this conversation.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Take it off.

• 57:23Speaker 05

  On Patreon, I was like, I almost shit my pants right before I got on stage. And luckily I checked my, my boxers and they were fine. But I was like, you have to bring an extra pair every time you go on stage. That needs to be part of my rider.

• 57:35Speaker 10

  But you wouldn't text it to the fucking group?

• 57:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:38Speaker 05

  Why not?

• 57:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, we don't. Why would I share that, Michelle? Why would I share that? Michelle, it's a funny thing. You poop your pants a little bit? You want to share that with your friends? It was funny in description. Can I be honest with you? Having like, girls on the group chat makes me hesitant to throw shit out there.

• 57:53Speaker 05

  Good.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  It does. Like, out of respect for the girls here, like, we have girls that work with us. And I feel uncomfortable sending a picture of shit in my drawers to you guys.

• 58:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's probably the best.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  Whereas if it was literally the four or five of us in this room, six of us saw it and Joey.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  I would have, I would have definitely shared it. Yeah.

• 58:12Speaker 05

  You still shared it.

• 58:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, you still, yeah. But I did it like, out of spite of myself.

• 58:20Speaker 10

  I can see you trying to do that.

• 58:22Speaker 08

  You were trying to bring joy to the group chat. You're like, you know, we've been through a lot this week.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, I wanted to lighten the load.

• 58:28Speaker 08

  Let me cheer everyone up.

• 58:30Speaker 05

  You know, the emotional swing of farting that turns into a shit is one of the funniest things in the world. Cause you're so happy farting. And then the second it turns to shit.

• 58:38Speaker 04

  It sends a chill into, down my spine. The sound, it went, brrrr, it was a normal fart. And then the end, it went, pap pap? And I was like, I never farted pap pap.

• 58:45Speaker 05

  I remember the first time I started, I was trying to fart and like brag and like be funny about it. And then when I shit, I, the horror.

• 58:53Speaker 05

  What just happened?

• 58:54Speaker 08

  This is unrefined.

• 58:55Speaker 05

  Oh my god, dude.

• 58:56Speaker 08

  We shouldn't be speaking like this.

• 58:57Speaker 05

  Oh, god.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  I mean, yeah, you're right, you know?

• 59:02Speaker 04

  Shouldn't be sharing these things with you. Yeah. Did a whole set shit on my ass.

• 59:07Speaker 05

  Alright, so how was your Thanksgiving though?

• 59:10Speaker 04

  Man, you wanna see some shit? Whole Thanksgiving shit on his ass. Did I, I didn't send this to the group yet, right?

• 59:16Speaker 05

  How long until you showered when you went home?

• 59:19Speaker 04

  I ain't showered. I got right into bed. Nah, you're lying. I got right into bed. You're lying. My wife. Bro. I, I got right into bed. My wife doesn't even know. My wife found my, my jeans in the morning and had shit right through the fucking jeans. Somehow the dude who passed through the barrier, there was a membrane that it passed directly through and there was a shit stain on the inside of the jeans.

• 59:41Speaker 05

  That's the liquid that goes through to the other side, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:44Speaker 04

  Exactly, so.

• 59:44Speaker 05

  The less molecule we sign.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  I don't even like Mark's fucking posture.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  You gonna judge me, you gonna judge me.

• 59:52Speaker 05

  That judgment does feel worse.

• 59:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck you. Trying to be vulnerable. Trying to be vulnerable.

• 59:59Speaker 05

  Trying to be venerable.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  I'm trying to be venerable.

• 1:00:01Speaker 05

  Yeah. How was your Thanksgiving? Dude, it was great. It was me, my mom, my whore wife, we just had a blast. We had a blast, dude. Has anybody stopped y'all in the street? No, people haven't brought it up, so maybe out of kindness. But I asked the shows, I said, is there anybody that does not, because I would open by being like, so my wife's a whore, huh?

• 1:00:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:18Speaker 05

  And it would get a laugh. And then I would say, is there anybody who doesn't know about this?

• 1:00:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:22Speaker 05

  Because the first time I did it, it was like weird, the vibe. And then after that, I was like, who doesn't know? And so many people would clap, I'd be astonished.

• 1:00:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is weird, you know, but yeah.

• 1:00:33Speaker 05

  I mean, it's a very real thing, but outside of the internet, I don't know how many people it caught their algorithm.

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like if you are a person that is on the internet, this is big enough where you know about it.

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 04

  But if you're not an internet person, it's not like it's covered in fucking CBS News or some shit.

• 1:00:47Speaker 05

  Like my best friends still have no idea.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Speaker 04

  Nah, they know, they just be. They probably nice.

• 1:00:52Speaker 05

  Well, you met Gerald, he's like kind of autistic and is not online that much. And Peters also does not online that much, so they just don't know.

• 1:00:57Speaker 04

  I remember when you texted me that, you're like, I don't know, it's like, I was, I asked the crowd, like, half of them kind of didn't know. And I think I texted you something back like, they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know, this one they know.

• 1:01:07Mark Gagnon?

  Nah, but I gotta, I gotta thank you because you definitely saved my Thanksgiving. Because the moment I walked through the door. Yo, what's up?

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  For real, it was a lot of conversations.

• 1:01:17Mark Gagnon?

  Captivated for about three hours. It was the first Thanksgiving, it was the first Thanksgiving, we didn't end an argument.

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, y'all did a fighting for us.

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, you did.

• 1:01:28Mark Gagnon?

  Really saved that thing.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  You did a real public service.

• 1:01:29Speaker 05

  Public service, I'm gonna tell you to keep going on TikTok.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  Drama, man. It is true, like anytime you start talking about it, it's just.

• 1:01:36Speaker 05

  It's salacious, it's the most like important thing.

• 1:01:39Speaker 04

  That is true.

• 1:01:40Speaker 05

  The highest stakes thing, especially marriage.

• 1:01:42Speaker 04

  And it's so relatable.

• 1:01:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 08

  Yeah, and it's reflective. Yeah, you're watching, you're like, is this, is this our relationship? Is this me? Like anytime people see videos of you.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  I do not want that.

• 1:01:52Speaker 08

  Yeah, they're like, this is me, this is reflection on me, da, da, da. So it's all projection.

• 1:01:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 08

  That's how it goes.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  Have you been like stern with your wife more now? For like, so she don't buy the hype on the internet?

• 1:02:02Speaker 05

  What, the hype that she's a golden horse?

• 1:02:05Speaker 04

  No, that you're a simp or whatever, like.

• 1:02:10Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no, we both stayed offline because we knew this wasn't gonna be good to watch.

• 1:02:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:14Speaker 05

  So we were both offline, that was the one good thing.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  Isn't that scary though, when you're just getting these texts, like, hope you're okay?

• 1:02:19Speaker 05

  So it's better to not see it, but then every time someone texts me, I'd be like, this caught your fucking algorithm? What's going on? How big is this?

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  I have my like DC cousins who like older and like adults and like. They hit me, they're like, what is going on? They were angry, Jocelyn, bro, they were pissed because they love you.

• 1:02:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  They love you.

• 1:02:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:38Speaker 04

  And they're like, yo, nah, he goes, how do we kill her?

• 1:02:46Speaker 08

  So you're not gonna divorce and take half her money? That's off the table?

• 1:02:49Speaker 05

  No, no, sadly, no. I thought about it because she's such a liar.

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  I'm gonna divorce her and take half my money.

• 1:02:56Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude, she's such a liar, though. I was too stupid to know for 10 years. Never bothered just asking.

• 1:03:03Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, so what can you do?

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  Guys. That's the episode, okay? There's nothing else important to talk about. The internet has been consumed with one story for the last few weeks. It is Akash Singh and Jocelyn Singh. And, you know, hopefully we brought some more color to that conversation.

• 1:03:22Speaker 11

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  And hopefully you guys had some fun getting to know them. And also, thank you guys so much for 2 million subs.

• 1:03:28Speaker 11

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  Did 2 million subs. You almost got divorced, but we were able to reach a number that we've been trying to get to for a while. So we're very excited about that.

• 1:03:36Speaker 06

  And it all worked out.

• 1:03:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, it did all work out, man. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. We love y'all. We appreciate y'all. We're gonna do Patreon. We're gonna talk about what happened this week on Patreon. So come over there and hang with us on Patreon. Patreon.com/flagrant. We'll see you next week. Peace.

• 1:03:51Speaker 11

  God bless. Yo, listen, that shit was bonkers, bro.

• 1:03:54Speaker 12

  Oh, it was interesting, hilarious, honestly.

• 1:03:56Speaker 11

  They say black people crazy, but I'm looking at white people. No brain. Straight no brain. A lot of k.

• 1:04:06Speaker 11

  If you want to find me, make sure you type in Y O U K N O W K E R out of all platforms. That's your boy, you know, and now you know.

• 1:04:15Speaker 12

  What's going on, y'all? If y'all want to follow me on Instagram, it is Midget, M I D G E T underscore J O E underscore. And any other platform, just type in Midget Joe and you're gonna see this lovely face. So definitely follow your boy. Follow back.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

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  The must-see Galactic Adventure Comes Home on Disney+.

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  This is the way. Our only chance is to work together.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13.